#this is very personal but i need it outttt

[twistedsea]

I know it doesn't really amount to anything since I'm just some random person on the internet, but I really hope things get better for you. Life is really awful a good chunk of the time, but I think it's probably worth holding out in case something better happens.

I spent ages 10-22 thinking I was some kind of horrid, broken robot of a person because I didn't develop crushes like all my friends were. They were ogling celebrities and getting into their first relationships, and it all felt so alien to me. When the first boy asked me out as a teenager, I thought I was going to vomit. He was very nice and there was nothing *wrong* with him, but the thought of being *with* him was like asking me to eat a slug. When I was 17, my neighbors tried to arrange a date with me for me with a man twice my age. It was all so odd.

I didn't even consider that liking women could be an option. Like, I'm from a very open and tolerant family. There are tons of well-respected and very loved LGBT people in my family that have been out of the closet for decades. There was zero danger for me if I came out as any persuasion. I didn't start thinking about it until one of my childhood friends came out as transgender. He said one of the things that made him realize that he wasn't a girl was that, when we were very small and played make-believe games, he would get so envious when I got to pretend I was a prince or a king. The other girls always made me play the "boy" roles because I was the tallest in the group, and he was tiny and thin and fit the conventional princess role better. He said that it took him years to figure out whether he wanted to *be* me or whether he had a crush on me. In the end, he realized it was both. He's engaged to a really handsome guy nowadays and I'm really happy for him.

But at the same time, I felt so weird about the whole situation. Thinking back, I would have definitely dated him back when he thought he was a girl. I guess I mistook the whole "unusually close female friendship" thing as just platonic, because we'd hold hands or hug or be affectionate all of the time. It was just what girls did. But I always felt that same sort of envy that he felt whenever I saw my best friends being affectionate with other girls. I didn't really think about it heavily until covid lockdowns. I started spending more time online and chatting with people that were very open and secure in their sexualities. None of them were a perfect match for the alien feelings I felt, but it made me realize that I have a very strong preference towards women. I still don't have a label for whatever it is that I am, just somewhere between queer and asexual, but I'm still not out about it. I'm still super uncomfortable talking to family about it, but it's slowly getting easier to talk to friends and people online.

I still feel weird and broken, but it's really nice listening to people talk about their journies about living with whatever their truth is. Sometimes you have to just find a place where you can pour out your feelings. Sometimes it helps just hearing about other people's struggles. There are some days when I want to curl up and die, but they're less now. I don't feel so alone when I hear how other people are struggling and surviving.

I have no idea what a *good* future looks like for me, let alone my ideal future, but I think things are better for me than they were ten years ago. Maybe ten years down the line will be better too.

Getting some good antidepressants also helped *a lot.* I can't handle proper therapy yet, but the pills I'm on make it so that my depressive states don't feel like they'll go on forever. They also make it easier to drink less, since I'm not always in a really dark pit. The depression is definitely still there, but it feels bearable.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is really hard, but you've made it this far. You're a really talented artist and you seem like a good person, and you've managed to survive the horrid thoughts that your mind conjures up about you. I think that's something to be proud of. Your art helps me keep going, too. The colors are always warm despite the violent imagery, and I always get the vibe that Laura and Abigail are in this cycle of death and rebirth. When they pop up on my dash, it makes me feel really hopeful.

I think I said this before, but my depression and anxiety are the reason why I’m in such a bad state of mind. My internalized homophobia is just one more thing that’s hurting me, more so lately because of the amount of time I have spent with my family during Christmas (and therefore some of their hurtful comments). I am convinced that if I was in a better place right now, this wouldn't worry me as much.

Yeah… I also feel broken for many reasons. Currently I’m not taking any medication because in the past it did nothing to help (I tried several different antidepressants without results)

Maybe that's why I feel like I'm at a dead end.

I'm going to be honest, it's not that I see a grim future for me, it's that I literally don't believe I have a future at all. As soon as I get up, I think “this is probably going to be my last day” and I wish that these horrible thoughts and overwhelming emotions would give me a break.

And despite this I'm doing everything I can to just stay alive. Even if they are few, there are moments when I realized that it is worth it to keep fighting.

Regarding my sexuality: on one hand, I find it funny because when I was only 6 years old I realized I liked girls and I already took it for granted that this was something that was “wrong” and that I had to hide and repress it. I’m a bit of a loner and I have difficulty socializing, and that has made it easier for me to ignore it.

But like you said, hearing other people’s journeys with their sexuality and/or gender makes me feel less alone. Which is something I’m grateful for. Unfortunately where I live there is still a lot of bigotry and if it wasn't for the internet, well… I just don’t know where I would be.

Despite the fact that we are complete strangers, your message helps me tremendously. Thank you for opening up in such a sincere and kind way to a perfect stranger just to help. It means the whole world to me. Hell, what you’ve said about my art and ocs made me tear up a little too hahah.

I apologize if this is not very coherent. English is not my main language and I’m not used to writing so much 😭🙏

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Get out my head i already had an idea that nightmare gravitated to those specific sanses because they of his friends 🫵

get OUTTTT

Anyways

I cant decide what nightmare would do after his lover died

Like i'm talking about the body. Hey i love morbid nightmare and i love him having a morbid spouse

Like i cant decide between nightmare using some kind of spell to preserve their body and give them a room somewhere deep in the castle with all their favourite things

Or like...dismembering them (thats like the only word i know of to describe it) like still using that preserving spell but their skull is on his nightstand, heart on his desk (which also means the rest of the gang see it, which is kinda creepy ngl. Imagine you go see your boss and u get greeted with that heart of a human he for some reason has..)

Or like...both? Like he only pulls their heart out their body and THEN preserve the body (and heart)

Also yk how people used to keep a piece of a dead persons hair and put them in jewellery and stuff, nightmare probably has that

And think for the rest of the friendgroup he'd do the same, and keep them all close to eachother.

(Nightmare visits them when he had a particularly rough day and just starts ranting to them)

((Though i also think nightmare just visits them daily and talks to them, even though they are quite literally always with him. There arent a lot of places ghosts cant go yk 🤷‍♀️)

Also, PAINTINGS. I think nightmare has a few small paintings of them. Though always with their back turned or atleast covering their faces. He doesn't need killer or the others trying to figure out who they are and why nightmare has paintings of them

Ngl given the freak killer is he’d probably be fascinated by the skull/heart. especially if he knows or suspects that it’s a past lover or friend. perhaps somewhere deep in his little emotionally dead soul he finds that idea rather appealing. perhaps even..romantic. to carry a piece of someone like that.

and then he’d immediately suppress that thought somewhere very deep down and not acknowledge it ever 🙏

Now I wonder how the rest of the gang could reflect nightmare’s little friend group. Killer would definitely somehow someway be aware of nightmare’s little night time rants to the ghosts of this place—but of course, he knows better than to let nightmare suspect that.

{ @brokenramunebottle }

[yayll]

https://www.tumblr.com/yayll/759326311116308480/havent-slept-yet-but-just-as-i-was-about-to?source=share

Hi, this anon again😅 haven't slept yet again...it's 6 am🙃. I just love the idea that Dazai with all his godlike intelligence is the kind of guy to see immediately what troubles or struggles his significant other has with themselves or in general.

If you have trauma he will immediately catch on, self esteem issues? Immediately caught on, mommy or daddy issues? People pleaser? He knows it, and many other things, he will immediately figure it out as you both date.

He'll probably even do little things that you'd think he doesn't understand how much it means to you, like validating you, making sure you always have a specific comfort of yours at hand, you'd think he just does it because he saw that you liked it, but it was because he knew what it would do for you, what it makes you feel.

Dazai sees you and he doesn't just see your traumas and things you struggle with of course, he first sees someone he loves unconditionally. Dazai knows you love him with all your heart especially after knowing about his past.

Dazai will tell if you're sensitive, if you're uncomfortable with loud noises, if you get emotional about a lot of things, if you're lonely around people, if you're masking your real personality around other people, if you've only heard criticism instead of any praise, if you've been undermined and seen as a second choice, Dazai will know.

And he will show you from the moment he picks up on everything, that you're never gonna feel like that again as long as he's there, and he will always be there. He will validate everything you always wanted to be validated. Dazai from the Port to ADA is very much "gun is love, gun is life" to "what is gun, what is this metal thing that can hurt another human being!?" An exaggeration of course but that's how he probably would be even though he's joking, but the second someone tried to mess with you, suddenly every training he had in the Port comes back and he's immediately shown to be this incredibly intimidating and ruthless man to anyone who tries hurt you.

Have a beautiful forever Hun💖🥺 I know you said in the last message you've had a rough time and I genuinely hope you're doing better 🥺💖 a reminder that you're so amazing and you deserve the best, you deserve to be happy and i wish you the uttermost happiness and love and good health, you're still so incredibly young, you have so much time to accomplish everything or anything you want, you're doing well, get some sun, hydrate yourself, sleep the best you can(because I know sometimes we don't always get enough sleep) and eat well💖🥺

I'll leave these emojis for now so you'll know it's me next time😅

- 🥺💖

HELLOOOOO my sweet 🥹💖

i'm so sorry i have such a late reply! i've been working on some writing and also quite literally irl so i'm just trying to catch up. you are amazing and i'm wishing u the best of health and happiness right back :') love is all we rlly have in this world. things are a lot better lately on my end and i hope you've been able to sleep comfortably even if it takes u a while! MWAH.

and also. i just rlly wanted to indulge those lil things you said about dazai because they are sooooooooo true. sooooo fucking valid. GUN IS LOVE GUN IS LIFE TOOK ME OUTTTT LMAO i actually love the way u talk abt dazai's highly intuitive side, it's quite literally what makes him so compelling as is. and in a relationship/partnership? oh it's a goddamn dream. he's like a hawk watching and registering your every mood fluctuation and the cause of it, tryinf to see how he can rectify it immediately. and i also FIRMLY believe he will use any and all past PM training to facilitate ur happiness should he ever need to. he'll be like:

"Hey, take five. You've been at it for hours now and frankly, it's boring watching you work."

"I can't, I'm so behind on reports and I'm helping out with the agency holiday party, I also need to-"

Dazai's eyes narrow, and shakes his head rapidly. Mission accepted, he thinks. He knows what you need, and if you won't cater to your needs, he'll have to just do it himself. He lives to see you at ease, because you deserve the entire world. You will not, under any circumstances, be stressed under his watchful eye... And he also just really wants an excuse to cuddle later without having to hear about dumb things like work. It's a win-win, and you don't have a choice! He sighs, and puts on his little performance.

".. You expect me, the great Osamu Dazai, to simply watch as I witness my favorite detective work themself to the bone?! Absolutely not! I refuse. Come, we're going to the cafe downstairs."

You groan as he pulls you, smiling in reluctance.

"Dazaiiii, i'm serious.. plus, don't you have like, a huge running tab there?"

He flashes you a sly smirk and a wink.

"That's why I have you, silly! Your philathropic and generous heart is willing to treat me as your penance for being so stubborn. How noble of you. You really shouldn't have."

You roll your eyes, sighing deeply as you zoom out of the agency with him.

"The waitress there wants to kill you, you know."

You mutter under your breath with a playful smile. Dazai gasps dramatically and looks back at you, still holding you by the arm, tighening just a smidge.

"Oh, goodness! I'm quaking. well thank god i'm bringing you, my precious little scapegoat~"

Despite your feigned annoyance, your cheeks redden, and it's hard not to become endeared with how relentless he is in his pursuits to distract you. what a slack off, you want to kiss his stupid face until he shuts up. You might just have to.

"You're the worst, Dazai."

"Mm, what a weird way to say 'I love you.' I'll take it."

this is a silly little thing, but basically overly observant and on the case Dazai he just NEEDS to make you the happiest whether you like it or not!

i love u, mwah :')

-ivy

[pupkashi]

Y/n and Gojo + The boy is mine song

No idea of drabble w this but I had that in mind and had to let it outttt, THIS SONG IS SPINING IN MY HEAD. Like I always see Gojo saying "you're mine" and all, but nonono "YOU'RE mine" how he would reacttt

(also I'm the anon who send like 5 ideas of drabble, and wtf THAT WAS SO GOOD YOUR WRITINGS ARE HANDSOME KEEP GOIN')

(idk I'm being anon tho)

-🦚

omg tysm 🦚 i will burst i to tear right now <333 I’ve never had an anon w an emoji so i am very excited hehe

but you’re so right everyone is saying gojo is so selfish w you but WHAT ABT U WITH HIM ??? me personally i would not let that slide

like ur at a party or something and you see someone flirting w him and you know he won’t even give them the time of day but maybe it’s the two or three or six shots you’ve had making you feel brave and walking up to your boyfriend, grabbing him and apologizing to the other person

“sorry i need to talk to my boyfriend for a bit” only for you to pull him into the restroom and take a deep breath

gojo is just standing there like 0.0 and you turn around and just kiss him, he doesn’t know what’s going on but he is loving it and then your lips are traveling to his jawline and you’re kissing his neck and you pull away and look into his oh so beautiful eyes

“you’re mine, you know that right lover?” you wanted to sound confident and unwavering, the way he does after someone tried to get your number, but satoru notices the hints of nervousness and worry in your voice.

You’re mine

the words rattle in his brain, his knees are a little weak and he’s glad he’s leaning against this wall. a blush on his cheeks and the widest smile on his face, the words only boosting his ego because yes hes all yours and you’re all his

“I’m yours and only yours, my sweet angel” he replies, kissing you with so much fervor and passion you feel like you’re gonna pass out when you pull away. “let’s go home, yeah?” you nod, the two of you saying goodbye to your friends that were there before heading back home.

when you get back home all he wants is for you to keep calling him yours because he still can’t believe he has you. the most perfect person in the world for him.

after that he’ll start saying things like “but I’m your loser” “im your idiot” “im all yours” ,,, yeah safe to say he loves it when you tell him he’s yours

[gummy-sharks666]

Hi there, sweetie!! 💫❤️

I've seen you make random hcs about bakugan characters.

Can you do for Linus, Rafe and Paige? Pretty Please 💖🥺

AAAAAA Hello!!! <3 I will do my best but I haven’t watched thru season 4 so idk much ab Paige and Rafe ;-; so I’m sorry if I miss the mark completely w/ them lmfaooo

Linus:

Sexuality: tbh I could see him being ace but either pan or homoromantic, he needs a handsome prince to sweep him off his feet 😌

Gender headcanon: once again, I think Neathians have a different view of gender, but in terms of human gender hes probs a little more masculine leaning

A ship I have: ok hear me out,,, Sid- HEAR ME OUTTTT. I think the way they’re connected in loss fuels this ship mainly also I’m thinking a sort of beauty and the beast type thing with Linus and Sid omgggggg you guys LET ME COOK ;-; I actually kind of like him with Fabia too, mainly bc Zelda has converted me to the badass Princess and her most trusted knight agenda.

BROTP: honestly… rubanoid. I think once again through their losses they’re able to become very close partners together. I also like the idea of Elright being like someone he looks up to/a mentor figure

NOTP: AJAJSJSSH I honestly can’t think of anything just bc there’s so much of nothing for this character I’m willing to listen to anything

Random hc: I love the idea of him being from a small town/modest life (again, like Link) but he ends up being hand picked for knighthood. I’m sure he had to be amazed by the Neathian capital

General opinion: I feel similar to him the way I feel ab fabia,,, held back by the writing. I always felt like he’s just like the typical good knight character who they don’t really delve more into as a person, other than the backstory/moments of him and Neo. Both him and Fabia are characters I’ve had to force myself to see more into bc upon first and second viewing I just really did not care much for them. I’d say I have a bit more appreciation for them now tho

Rafe:

Sexuality hc: pan, wants a hot goth partner to step on him

Gender: what we would consider gender nonconforming for sureee

A ship I have: going off the goth thing what if him and Sellon 👀👀👀👀 (once again I know almost nothing ab these characters I’m just going solely based on first impression lmfao) also him and Linus could be cute 😳

BROTP: Marucho?? I was gonna say either him and Shun would get along well or they would butt heads idk

NOTP: Paige lmfao

A random hc: I’m honestly surprised he’s not related to Fabia in some way I could see him being a cousin or something

General opinion: he looks like a pathetic twink (very affectionate)

Paige:

Sexuality hc: BUTCH LESBIANNN WBK

Gender hc: definitely masc, a he/him lesbian for sure

A ship I have: hear me out,,, Paige and Julie would be cute 😳 Subterra coupleeee

BROTP: if Sid lived they would be besties for sure. I think she’d get along with Mason and Ren pretty well

NOTP: I have not seen her shipped with anyone honestly maybe Dan lmfao 💀

Random hc: Shes an oldest sibling, definitely comes from a big family that we’re probably hella traditional but she ended up being the cool lesbian sister

General opinion: I know almost nothing about her but I love her 10/10

[distortedclouds]

What if.. in a morden au, armin is a criminology professor in a well known uni and annie is a secret agent, and annie ended up needing to do some stuff with armin so shell finish her mission (with another identity ofc😚lets say emma). And in the process armin discovered the thing abt this mission and emma had to bring him into it and boom! Very not expected she started developing feelings for him 😚 and when the mission succeeded and everything emma asked him outttt butt.. he said no, bc the life of a secret agent is a little messed up, and he doesnt know anything abt her “all what we experienced together, it can be a personality you created, and eve- you know whats your name?”

Silence

“See? But it was nice meeting you tho..” and they said their goodbye

And guess what????? After 2 months emma knocked on his door

“Hell-“

“Annie,my name is annie will you go out with me now???” blushing and armin is😳😳😳😳😳😳

There are very few AU situations that mimic their original dynamic but this one comes very close I like it!

But I love that its also Annie that pursues him even when it "doesn't work" she's that down bad!

[ranposgirlboss]

HIHI I want to request a written and appearance matchup for Bungo stray dogs

First of all for my hobbies I like to do

-baking

-cooking

-singing

-writing

-video games

-drawing

-basketball

I do have anxiety when being with a bunch of people bc I will always feel like their looking at me-

And that I’m mostly quiet and respectful and mature with people I’m not close too or with family

But with people I am close to I can be quite loud and have the humor of a 12 year old boy (jk I’m funnier then that)

I’m pretty forgetful for example I will forget to wear my glasses and sometimes I forget to do things

I’m not a clean freak or anything but I do like to organize stuff so it’s easier to find :D

I am bisexual and nonbinary

I use they/he pronouns and I mostly want people to use non gendered terms for me but I’m fine with gendered stuff a bit just don’t call me a girl or a boy

I’m Hispanic Puerto Rican and Trinidadian so you know the food I cook is good 💪

And I got them mom hands anyways I also am willing to try different stuff from different cultures (I’m only a little bit picky)

I am quite calm most times tho but kinda not empathetic as the average person but i try🫶

I get called mom as a joke by my friends and chuuyas the father

I hyper-fixate on a lot of things lol

Whenever I get excited they way I stun is by hitting my thighs which is a very concerning thing but don’t worry im fine :D

I have a mole on my nose, shoulder and chest which I love lol and I have sharp teeth >:)

I’m tan but there was tan options and I’m too tired to make another one T-T also my hair is curlier then this💪

THANKS FOR REQUESTING!! you never said what gender u wanted so i just went the safe option with the guys!!

WRITTEN MATCHUP...

CHUUYA

(EDITING SIMP HERE- I DIDNT EVEN READ ABOUT U BEING THE MOM OF UR FRIEND GROUP AND CHUUYA BEING THE FATHER AND I STILL CHOSE CHUUYA BYE)

ENOUGH CALMNESS TO BE CHILL BUT ENOUGH SILLINESS TO BE ENERGETIC SOMETIMES I SEE??? WELL THEN... I PRESENT TO YOU....CHUUYA!!! chuuya would DEF appreciate u cleaning up ur stuff bc i can see him getting HELLA annoyed if you didn't. he also likes that you can be serious whenever you need to be...UNLIKE SOMEONE.

APPEARANCE MATCHUP...

JOUNO

OK HEARRRRR MEE OUTTTT THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TOLD ME THIS WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE SO I WENT WITH IT

THANK U FOR REQUESTING MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN ᕙ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)ᕗ

[lafflanes]

on and off over the past 2 weeks ive been working on putting together a list of my favorite quotes/anecdotes from the 20 Years of Toontown panel because theres so many funny and memorable ones! ill split this post up into a few parts since theres lots of stuff

these quotes are from Jesse's story about the origins of Toontown Online and how it got started!

"one of the, you know, hard realities of the Walt Disney company is, if youre on a team that doesnt have anything to do, you might have a problem, you know, you may not have a job in a few months"

-

"right, the Hall of Presidents mmo, i dont even remember how that one worked"

-

"... he said 'no, you know the problem is, your team is, youre like a bunch of PANDAS, all youll eat is bamboo, and youre gonna DIE, because all you eat is bamboo. you need to be more like RATS, rats eat anything, so you need to be less like pandas and more like RATS, so you think about that'

and we're like 'okay we'll think about it' so it inspired us to make our new engine and call it the Panda3d engine. and of course we needed a file format for it so we called it 'bamboo', so you feed bamboo into the panda engine and thats what made it go"

-

"... and then once we got it to a certain point, we took it over to Feature Animation and said 'we need to get your buy-in, we're gonna do this Atlantis mmo'. and they were like 'ugh, we dont want you to be doing this. youre going to ruin our movie by making a game, its gonna make people think that this is for KIDS. we dont want games in this so no, youre FORBIDDEN, you cant make it'

and we're like 'oh, oh well, alright. well lets go find something that nobody really cares about' and we DID, it was Toontown Online"

-

"this picture is actually from one of the decks, what we did is we took this poster ... and we just put the 'online' part under it. and so talking about the inspirations for Toontown in the beginning, we were like 'Toontown Online, it makes a lotta sense, of course!'"

"when you look at this initial picture ... one of the things youll notice about the cog on the left is, that cog is not a cog, that is not a robot, thats just a person. and originally, the cogs werent cogs, they were just people, and we called them the suits, and that was the concept, the toons vs the suits

and that ended one day when we had a visit from, uh oh, Roy Disney Jr! come to the studio hes like 'hey remember that Toon Tag, that was pretty great, what are you doing now?' and we're like 'CHECK IT OUTTTT ITS TOONTOWNNNN, its all about the toons vs the suits', and all that. and hes kinda like 'huh, okay, interesting, i guess' and we're like 'okay, well that was a little weird' it wasnt the warmest meeting we ever had

and the next day, our Vice President comes in very PERTURBED, and says we have a memo here, from Roy Disney Jr who says 'this game can never ship. Toontown can never ship, because it is DISRESPECTFUL to the people who made this company great', and we all like smacked ourselves in the head and realized 'oh my god' ... and here we are with this game saying business people are the evil enemy. and so, our Vice President is like 'DEAL WITH THIS. youre going to have to do something, i dont know what youre going to do but do SOMETHING'

and we're like 'oh my god, well we cant, what are we going to do, we cant take them outta the game' ... we started brainstorming, what if its something else, what if its aliens are the enemy, thats corny, what if its robots are the enemy. we're like 'well, maybe robots' but we really want the work vs play thing and we're like 'what if its business robots... but we dont tell anybody that...'. so we wrote a letter back saying 'weve changed this' the game is different now, its going to be all about toons vs robots' and theyre like 'okay fine, whatever' and, well, we didnt tell them it was business robots!

and honestly, the game got better at this point, because we were never sure when you defeated a suit what was supposed to happen to them. Bruce Woodside had an original where when the suits got hit with too many pies, they would turn into clowns? and then shrink really small and run away? and it was like some weird dream? and it was like 'Bruce thats interesting but uh, thats probably not right'"

[jjpmoans]

jeno+café+friends to lovers+fluff

To All The J’s | xi. Jeno + cafe + friends to lovers

let's seeee what we can whip outttt

warnings : idk you decide. but it's all fluffs fluffs

You wipe the table with the clean cloth, taking away the empty cups and dirty plates , transferring them onto the tray. The cafe is empty now that it's almost nine in the evening. Your shift is ending in an hour and that means he will be here in a few minutes.

Your lips quirk into a smile and you leave the table to bring the tray back to kitchen, just in time as the door opens with a chime, making you look to greet the newcomer.

You should have expected it but you still feel like your breath taken away as he come through the door, a bag slung across his chest, offering a soft smile for you.

"Oh." is the only thing you managed to say after being dazed by his presence. Jeno laughs, stepping forward to close his distance with you.

"Hello." his eyes crinkle into crescents. "Am I late?"

You shake your head, he come just as you were just thinking of him. "Not at all."

His eyes follow your movement behind the counter, setting down your tray and you move to the cash register, ready to take his order.

"What do you want today?"

Jeno scans the menu, something like skimming them because you know he will end up choosing the same one like all the other times. "Iced-"

"-latte and one muffin to go. Yeap, thought you'd order that." Jeno's eyes widen as you say his usual order like you have them memorized. He gives you a skeptical look and you laugh, finishing up his order. "You've been a regular here for three months already, Jeno. I would be really bad if I don't know your order by now."

Jeno sheepishly scratch the back of his head, offering you a grin. "That obvious?"

"Mhm." you are now behind the coffee maker, making his latte. "If I don't know more, I'd say the order is just an excuse to talk to me."

Both of you break into laughter and you take out a muffin out, placing it into a box. You first met Jeno around this time of the day, three months ago. It wasn't a pleasant memory, because the boy had broken into tears in front of you, trying to order but failed miserably.

You helped him by suggesting your own order, a latte and a muffin, yes, the reason of his choice of order today. Turned out he was just out of a toxic relationship and he was entirely heartbroken when ordering because he used to order his ex's menu but just the thought of it broke him.

Since there wasn't any customer, you offered him a company, talking to him through the conflict and it seemed like he liked your company and decided to visit the cafe again a few days after.

One thing lead to another and it's been three months since you've befriended him and his constant visit to the cafe at night has risen a lot of teasing from your coworkers. Just like one now.

"Oh, Jeno is here!" Mark exclaims, looking very excited upon seeing his arrival. "Taking y/n somewhere today?"

Jeno laughs, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe as usual, taking her home."

"Oh man... step up your game. Bring her to an arcade or anything." Mark rolls his eyes when you elbow him a little to hard. You don't deny that you did have some feelings, just a tiny bit feelings harbored towards the male but you don't want your coworker to force the idea onto him. For all you know, he might not be ready to be involved in any relationship after the last one. "The night is still young. Also you've been cooped up in the cafe for months. Time to have some fun."

"By the time I get off, it's ten and it's already late. Shut up Mark. Don't mind him, Jeno." you shove him aside to place Jeno's orders on the counter.

Jeno and Mark laugh at your aggressiveness, Mark complaining while Jeno looks at you fondly, admiring your forwardness silently.

"What if I'd take your shift while you lovebirds go and have a date night?" you gape at Mark's idea, totally not expecting him to offer himself to cover your shift. Haechan would throw hands for this offer.

"That's not the case-"

"Let's go." Jeno intercepts, causing Mark to smile smugly. He fist bumps the air, shifting excitedly. "Let's go to an arcade. It doesn't have to be a date night. I just want you to have some fun."

"Urgh, Jeno. Don't take Mark's word seriously. He's not that nice. Who knows if he has any other agenda?" you grumble while looking at Mark who is over the moon. He must have liked the idea of both of you going on a date night because of his help.

"Don't worry about the future, y/n. That is for future y/n to care about." Mark ushers you out of counter, pulling the apron off you and hands your bag. "Go have some fun!"

"Me and future me are still the same person Mark Lee. I still need to worry the future." you yelp as Mark pushes you into Jeno's arm, back hitting his chest as Jeno manages to catch you from falling. "Mark Lee!"

"Have fun! I don't want to see your face in the cafe in ten seconds!" he warns you but as if you're afraid of his threat. Mark Lee can't even hurt Haechan, who is full time annoying. He can't harm you even the slightest. "Ten. Nine-"

"Mark Lee." you growl.

You hear Jeno chuckles from behind you and in no time, you find yourself walking voluntarily out of the cafe with his hands on your arms. Jeno effect, you guess.

"You shouldn't be listening to Mark." you frown and accept Jeno's iced latte into your hand, sipping the drink. "He would spread rumours about how we go on a date with his help."

As expected, Jeno did nothing but laugh. Sometimes you wonder does he feel this situation something to be amused about. He's always laughing whenever Mark (or Haechan at times when you're unfortunate and Haechan decided to cover Mark's night shift) teases both of you. Does he like being teased about you?

"Why? You don't like going on a date with me?" Jeno looks at you, a hint of smile on his face. You will never believe it if someone had told you three months ago that Jeno will become the confident one when both of you talk. Jeno is usually the reserved one, not shy, just not really confident to tease people. What happened during the last three months?

"It's not that." you mumble, looking away from him. "I don't want you feel uncomfortable. They always tease about us but they don't know about your situation and maybe you're not comfortable mentioning dating things."

"Yeah." you won't lie, your heart cracks a bit when he agrees, he does feel uncomfortable when they mentioned about dating.

"See? I'll tell them to stop-"

"But surprisingly." he cuts you off. "I don't mind if it's you."

You stop in your track, turning to him in disbelief. Did he just say that?

"You- what?"

"What?"

"Jeno! This is not something to joke around!" you hit his arm and he winces, before laughing after you punch his arm again, holding your fist and brings you to his side, an arm around your shoulder.

"I said, I don't mind dating you. I mean it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't mind spending my days with you because I think I'd die if I don't."

"Ew." you push him, trying to get away but Jeno is faster, laughing, pulling your shoulder back until you're spinning in his arm and clasp his arms around you, securing your whole body with his.

"You're not going anywhere, missy." your giggle fills the silent night, a little bit too loud.

"Please stop being friend with Jaemin. He's turning you into cheese."

You can feel the chill running down your spine when Jeno whispers right next to your ears, lips brushing slightly with the back of your ears. "But you love cheese, right?"

Your smile hasn't faded even as you see the lights from the arcade sign, Jeno's arms still around you, warming you up. "Yeah. I do."

To All The J’s Masterlist

[arminiloveyou]

hiii i’m so excited i love matchups :)

can i get romantic and both aot and jjk men pls!! i hope this is an okay amount of information haha

i’m pretty short and i have short brown hair and hazel eyes. some of my fav things are reading/writing, going to the gym and getting coffee. i also like painting once in a while and listening to music <3 my fav animals are cats hehe. i’m super organized and clean, like it’s honestly both my best and worst trait bc i am constantly planning and making lists to an excessive amount. im pretty quiet and have a dry sense of humor but i’m more talkative when i’m around my friends i just like having alone time :) i’m also a gemini sun virgo moon istj 6w5 if ur into typology/astrology lol

hiii yes it is!! i hope you enjoy your matchup!!

for jujutsu kaisen i match you with…

inumaki toge n fushiguro megumi

originally, i picked toge but, i could see you n megumi gelling well as well. toge was picked simply cause i can see him really enjoying being around someone enjoying the “simple” pleasures of life. to someone else the daily tasks yall do in each other’s company may seem boring or unfulfilling but to toge his heart is literally expanding when he’s around you. he couldn’t be happier. he texts you random shit sometimes just in case he forgets to bring it up later “baby. when we r older we will get a cat!! our cat!! i’m going to take a nap now::DDD dream of u n our cat!!” . megumi came into my mind cause i think he really needs a calm s/o. also, i think you having dry humor would suit him super well. like you’d like “oh maybe that went over his head” or “damn, i might’ve seemed like a dick there” but his face is adorned by a bashful smile whenever he hears you. he himself can’t even fully comprehend just how much your humor aligning means to him - it brings him a warmth he’s never felt before. he can let him guard down with you. also!! he loves to lay in bed n the pair of you read your respective books (whenever you read in bed with toge, on the other hand, he just curls into a ball on your lap which is very cute as well heehee). megumi tends to get distracted by glancing over at you… which turns into a look, then a stare, n then you notice… “ah.. sorry, i just love lookin at you… concentrating… it makes me consider how you hold so much in your mind… sorry…i love you” he blushes soooo much. that’s how he ended up telling you he loves you for the first time n he beats himself up for letting it out so “lamely”

for attack on titan i match you with…

armin arlert

pretty boy armin strikes again. he’s just the best boy. you two have soooo many shared interests - library dates with coffee!! if you invite him to go on a run or to the gym with you he’ll freak outttt deciding what to wear (you make him nervous🥺) but will be so honored that you’re allowing him to accompany you in a big part of you life!! “go to the gym with you!! are you sure? 🥺🥺🥺🥺i mean i will i want to!! it’s just i don’t wanna slow you down or anything!!” he’d be soooo extremely excited if you ever asked him to read your work!! “omg your writing?? babe i’ve always wanted to read it but i didn’t wanna invade on your personal space/craft or make you uncomfy🥺i’ll read anything you show me - whether it’s a sentence or eleven million pages🥹💌🫂i bet it’s amazing!!”

[lanxichenisms]

tagged by @dragonji!! tysm♡

favourite colour: pastel blue, forest green n blood red

currently reading: zeno's conscience by italo svevo and tian guan ci fu

last song: either kiss me if you can by the boyz or 水火 by 树林座 (the tsomd theme song) i cant rly remember which...

last movie: i rewatched always be my maybe a few days ago! nd if we're talking movies i hadnt seen before last friday i watched while you were sleeping!

last show: ive been finally watching tsomd which im rly loving and im watching the new hospital playlist season as it comes out ♡

sweet savory or spicy: i love love love savoury and spicy food im not much of a sweets person...

craving: being out of the registry office this place is driving me insane i hate bureaucracy please i just need an id card to leave the country let me outttt anyways this tag game was a very welcome distraction ty. also injera i want to eat some soooo bad

tagging @wenkexingbf @peiminggf @shenweibf nd @xiaoguiwang if u feel like it ♡

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[tracingdreams]

Daiya no Ace: The Dramas #9: Musical Tastes

An explanation… To keep my brain from rusting I started a project to translate the drama tracks that came with the character song CDs and other stuff relating to Daiya no Ace (because I love them and they’re all hilarious). My disclaimer - I am not a native speaker of Japanese, but I will do my best!

Character Song CD 12 – Kanemaru Shinji Drama 02, featuring Kanemaru, Toujou, Shirasu and Nori.

Scene: Probably in the dorm canteen. Kanemaru has borrowed a music CD from Shirasu, as it turns out they have similar taste in music. Which Kanemaru is happy about, until he hears some information from Nori…

Translator’s Note: I think Nori is trolling Kanemaru a bit in this drama, because we all know Shirasu is a sweetie. This is also the only drama I can find that has Shirasu on it, so I thought he deserved some inclusion. *pats him*.

Toujou: Huh? This CD…from Shirasu-senpai?

Kanemaru: That’s right! He was good enough to lend it to me.

Toujou: Shinji, you guys get along well, huh? That’s unexpected. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two together before.

Kanemaru: No, it was a coincidence. We ended up in the bath together randomly a while back.

Toujou: Huh? Just the two of you?

Kanemaru: Yeah. I was really surprised. I thought that all the senpai would have finished by that point, but he was still there.

Toujou: Weren’t you freaked out? That guy doesn’t speak that much, right?

Kanemaru: It was really uncomfortable. But I remembered someone saying he really liked music, so when I tried raising the subject, we had a good conversation going.

Toujou: Ahh. Finding something you had in common – lucky for you.

Kanemaru: Honestly, it saved my ass.

Toujou: So that was the trigger for this?

Kanemaru: Yep. He recommended it to me, and then loaned me this CD.

Toujou: How was it?

Kanemaru: It was awesome – totally met my criteria. Now I really want to talk to Shirasu-senpai more about rock music!

(The door opens. Enter Nori)

Nori: What was that about Shirasu?

Kanemaru: Huh? Ah, Kawakami-senpai?

Toujou: Shirasu-senpai lent Shinji a CD.

Nori: Shirasu did?

Kanemaru: It’s this CD.

Nori: Let’s see, what is it?

Kanemaru: He said, when I finished listening to it, I should return it, so I was waiting for him to finish his weight training.

Nori: This is one of Shirasu’s favourite albums. Kanemaru, it seems like he likes you.

Kanemaru: Really?

Toujou: Lucky for you, Shinji! It seems you made a good impression in the bath!

Nori: (confused): In the bath?

Kanemaru: I coincidentally ended up with Shirasu-senpai in the baths. We got talking about music.

Nori: I see, that’s what happened.

Kanemaru: It was really fun talking about it in so much depth with him.

Nori: Huh? This case…has a crack in it, I think?

Kanemaru: Huh?

Toujou: Where is it? (Nori apparently shows him). Ah, yeah, so it does.

Kanemaru: Maybe it happened when…

Toujou: Do you remember it happening?

Kanemaru: Mm, when I was doing English homework, yesterday, I accidentally put my elbow down on the CD.

Toujou: Did you hear it crack then?

Kanemaru: Only faintly, though…

Toujou: Well, it’s only a tiny crack. I guess it probably won’t be an issue.

Kanemaru: Right? It’s just at the edge, after all.

Nori: (Suddenly very serious): No…this is bad, Kanemaru.

Kanemaru: Huh?

Nori: Shirasu is said to be the most precise person in the Seidou baseball club. The most extreme aspect of that precision is how he separates and organises his CD rack by genre.

Kanemaru: That sounds pretty intense.

Nori: The thing that that precise Shirasu hates the most is the idea of CDs being treated casually.

Kanemaru: (Sounding a little stressed): Then…this crack…

Nori: Definitely no good.

Kanemaru: Even though it’s as tiny as that?

Nori: If I were you, I’d resolve yourself [for consequences]. There was once another guy who borrowed a CD from Shirasu, and treated it casually, and Shirasu got super pissed at him.

Kanemaru: (Now really worried): Super pissed..?!

Toujou: Even though he’s usually so taciturn? That sounds pretty scary. What are you going to do, Shinji?

Kanemaru: What do you mean, what am I going to do? I can’t even imagine him getting angry. This definitely isn’t the time to think about being on good terms with him.

Toujou: He might stop lending you CDs.

Kanemaru: No, he might not even ever speak to me again!

Nori: Not that he’s very chatty to begin with.

Kanemaru: What can I do to make him forgive me? Will he forgive me if I just apologise to him properly?

Toujou: I haven’t talked to Shirasu-senpai much, so it’s hard to know.

Kanemaru: What should I do, Kawakami-senpai?

Nori: I’ve never had him get that mad at me, so I don’t really know.

Toujou: That’s what it means to be his music buddy, I guess?

Kanemaru: (Angry) :I want to be one of those as well!

Toujou: In the interests of honesty, how about you return the CD with a new case to replace the broken one?

Kanemaru: There’s no time! Shirasu-senpai will be here any minute!

Toujou: Then is there a way you can fix it yourself?

Kanemaru: You mean, with superglue?

Toujou: It’s just a little crack, so I wonder if that would do the trick.

Kanemaru: Then I could use tape?

Toujou: That would show too much.

Kanemaru: Then a plaster (band-aid)?

Toujou: It’s not a cut, you know.

Kanemaru: Then what should I do! (He’s freaking out).

The door of the canteen opens, and Shirasu enters.

Shirasu: Kanemaru.

Kanemaru: (in panic mode now): S..Shirasu-senpai!

Toujou: Ack, he’s here! And we haven’t thought of what to do yet!

Shirasu: (oblivious): Kanemaru, can I ask you to wait for a bit? I want to go and wash off the sweat from my weight training regime.

Kanemaru: Of course! You’re a regular on the team, after all! What would happen if you caught a cold?!

Shirasu: I’ll be back here as soon as I can.

Kanemaru: No, please, take all the time you need! If you want to, you could even take an hour or so having a bath!

Shirasu: If I did that, I’d get light headed.

Kanemaru: Ah, yeah, that’s true (he laughs awkwardly)

Toujou: (to the rescue): But we can wait, so, really, you can take your time.

Shirasu: I see. Then I’ll go have a good bath.

(he leaves).

Kanemaru (sighs): That’s really bad for my heart. Thanks, Toujou. Thanks to you I feel we’ve bought some time.

Toujou: Mm. Right now, we need to figure out what to do.

(The door opens again, and Shirasu pokes his head back around it).

Shirasu: Ah, I almost forgot, Kanemaru.

Kanemaru: (panic): He came back!?

Shirasu: About the CD I lent you…

Kanemaru: Ah…well…about…what should I say about the case…well…

Shirasu: (confused): The case? What do you mean?

Kanemaru: Huh? Ah, nothing. Nothing at all!

Shirasu: I meant, about the contents.

Kanemaru: Ah, that’s what you were asking? It’s exactly the kind of music I like to listen to! It hit right into the strike zone for me!

Shirasu: (sounding satisfied): Ah. I see.

(and he leaves again).

Kanemaru: I was freaking outttt…

Nori: He seemed really happy, Shirasu, smiling and everything.

Toujou: Huh? You have an unreadable expression on your face right now.

Nori: I do not!

Kanemaru: Toujou, hurry up and help me think of what to do! It’s not like I have time to obtain a new case.

Toujou: Well, you could always give the CD back with some food that he likes?

Kanemaru: That’s it!

Toujou: But what kind of food does Shirasu-senpai like?

Kanemaru: Come to think of it, I’ve never asked him. (He turns to Nori). Kawakami-senpai!

Nori: I’m pretty sure his favourite food is o-den. (Translator’s note – a stew type dish with a whole bunch of ingredients in it)

Kanemaru: Oden?!

Toujou: Radish, konnyaku, chikuwa, small sausages…which one of the ingredients does he like best?

Kanemaru: I have absolutely no clue. Kawakami-senpai!

Nori: You’re really frantic, aren’t you? I don’t know in that much detail.

Toujou: What should we do…

Kanemaru: In any case, it’s o-den, right? So I should go buy o-den! I’ll go to the convenience store!

Nori: It’s forbidden to leave campus without permission.

Kanemaru: AAAH! Then I need to find someone who already has some o-den?

Toujou: There’s not going to be anyone who’s bought it and kept it on one side.

Kanemaru: Then I can make some!

Toujou: Without the ingredients, that’s not going to work, Shinji!

Kanemaru: (Falling apart now): AARGH! So WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! KAWAKAMI-SENPAI!

Nori: Just apologise properly!

[jimlingss]

JUNGLE PARK!!! JUNGLE PARK!!! Ending aside, I feel like I still need closure on whether hoseok ever regain his memory! Will he ever? Will he finally remember why he broke up with oc? How was his life post-breakup etc?

JUNGLE PARK! Good questions! Now that I’m done the series I can talk a bit more on my thoughts without ruining anything haha.....

Definitely it was a decision on my part from the very beginning (before I even mapped out the details of the story) Hoseok will never regain his memory. There’s a chance, you can decide that for yourself and draw your own conclusions as the reader (the readers ultimately have the power to decide for the characters after all). But in my eyes, as the writer, probably never.

Jungle Park is not a story about Hoseok’s lost past after all. It’s not about his memories. It’s not about what happened during university. It’s not about how they fell in love for the first time.

It’s about them now. 

I think it’s made pretty clear that they’re both now working towards the future instead of looking into the past. I think if Hoseok were to go to try to scrape up the past and go searching for those memories, he would actually be working backwards and would inhibit his relationship with OC.

As for what actually went down...in the story itself, it’s left pretty vague. The best idea is what we get is what Hoseok’s sister knows. At the end of the day, Hoseok, himself, would’ve known best, but he ofc doesn’t remember anymore.

But in my mind (as the writer and what I had envisioned), the reason Hoseok broke it off was he beginning to feel pretty burdened by OC’s presence. So he finished undergrad and moved cities to attend the law school he was accepted into. OC packed her bags and went with him without even questioning it. And to Hoseok, I mean he was 25 and he was so psyched about beginning his whole career, to begin the life he’s been working towards. The future was fucking B R I G H T and he was rEADY.

But for OC. This was it. She was pretty much ready to settle down. She was looking around for mediocre jobs, moved in with him, pretty much ready to cook dinner and welcome him home every evening. And at some point, Hoseok realized he didn’t want that. He had ambitions. He had plans. He had career goals. He was excited for his future.

OC’s plans consisted of them and their future. 

Basically her entire life revolved around him. Revolved around them together.

...so yeah. I mean I imagine he would’ve gotten increasingly annoyed. Began to felt that OC was depending on him too much. And one day he couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t stand the thought that this was going to be his forever, so he broke it off. He dumped OC in a city that she didn’t know, where she didn’t know anyone, without a real stable job. oof.

And the aftermath? Well...Hoseok was probably fine for a good three days until he came home and called out to her before realizing she was gone. lol. that he made this mess, that he fucked shit up. AND IT TURNS OUTTTT it wasn’t OC who was depending too much on Hoseok. It was Hoseok who was depending a lot on OC.

He basically got rid of his biggest cheerleader. 

He got rid of the person who took care of him. He got rid of the person who gave their shoulder for him to lean his head on. All the things OC did for him, he realized he fucking took it all for granted and now he was gonna have to do it himself. There was a huge fucking gaping hole he caused himself. And he was ruined.

It was pretty rough, I would imagine.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x22 Reaction / Commentary

Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD

Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.

Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.

Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.

1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.

This is both hilarious and infuriating XD

Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.

Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*

I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.

Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.

THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.

Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.

RIDICULOUS

So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?

RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS

Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??

That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.

...................................................................what.

I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.

Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???

But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out

The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.

XD XD XD

Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.

Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.

“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”

SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.

Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.

...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.

I

hadn't

noticed.

I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*

Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.

Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)

- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.

+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3

- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF

+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE

+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT

+ A L E C S  FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT

~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.

That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.

+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD

+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH

~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way

+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT

- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.

I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.

Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.

From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.

In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD

+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS

Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).

“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”

Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.

NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE

1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.

1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped

HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD

TMI bro

Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.

Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.

Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.

But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.

Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.

..................really? *sigh*

#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit

Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.

Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.

HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF

(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)

Anyway.

“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”

No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*

There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)

Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)

Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.

IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!

Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!

WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?

Wow that was less painful than expected

Oh damn I knew this was too easy.

Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west

and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.

“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”

Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.

These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.

HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT

I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?

(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)

HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM

I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.

LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!

This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??

LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)

Mostly for each other, but continue.

Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.

Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.

Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.

I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.

Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*

Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.

Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.

“You'll be save on this balcony.”

*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.

Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD

Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.

HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL

Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD

Let me just....

Yes. This.

Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.

I mean. He. Hehehe.

Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.

Same, Jonathan. Same.

Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.

.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.

Also

Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??

Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?

Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.

Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.

Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.

Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.

UGH

AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP

The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!

Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.

Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.

Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??

U G H

Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.

Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.

*cough*

Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.

I really really loved this line though.

HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.

Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.

Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.

And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????

Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.

I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.

Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”

........not my lucky day apparently.

Hahahaha love ya.

DAMN RIGHT

Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.

BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!

1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.

Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.

You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.

Ralf: I'm going to be sick.

Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!

I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf

Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.

Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.

NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.

bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????

“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”

Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.

Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???

Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3

Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.

Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)

Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.

Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF

........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.

Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.

1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.

Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.

Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.

Okay that made me laugh at least.

*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*

“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”

As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.

Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.

2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*

<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.

Anyway.

I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.

A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.

We could have had it all.

“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”

Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.

Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:

1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF

2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?

????? ???????? ???????????????

???????

3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.

Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.

Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.

And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.

I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is

Thank you

[mini-pretzel]

omg could you analyze bts’ necks? i’m a sucker for a good neck🥺

MORGAAAAAAAAAAAN

HELLO

ofc i can bby. i love getting us all fucked up.

let’s get this shit started, no?

//intro song plays

WELCOME TO

👏👏🎉🎉DASHA REVIEWS BTS 🎉🎉👏👏

PLEASE HAVE A SEAT

GRAB A SNACK TO EAT

A BUTT TO SQUEEZE

y’know

the good stuff 😏😏

here we gooo wheeeeee

kim oh well just fuck me up right away why dont u namjoon

look at this bby

so cute right?

bam!

wait im not done

ooof

lord

have mercy on me

pls

ahhhh

fuck

ok

ok wait

namjoon

pls

fuckkkkk im dead

ok, thicc, nice veins, sweaty af, adam’s apple king. it’s all there ladies n gents.

let’s move on

min r u cute or r u deadly yoongi

look at dis biotch

oof

that’s just the start. get ready y’all

mmm yes

hello there

hahhahh im not ok

this is already fucking me up

yep

all of this

yepppp

thicc af boiiii

ooof

ok i better stop also this tall to ride yoongi anyone?

veinss

more veins

veins pt. 3

ok im done

im wrecked

jung his neck hurts me so hoseok

hello mr sun

why oh why

do you gotta be so cute

but also so freakin

sexy too

goddamn

well

im gone

so gone

very gone those veins too, fuck

alrighty

hahhaa

ha

hah

killing me softly over here

last vein one

moving on haha

//cries

kim HE’S SUCH A SLUT FOR NECK PICS OK seokjin

ok i had to dig through my own personal stash of this mofo

cause u know i had to save them

for u know

science reasons

yeah

science, yeah

chemistry..

n equations…

n u know.. numbers…

photosynthesis..

shit like that

fuck

ok he’s such a slut

i swear to god he knows what he’s doing to us

chaotic god everyone

thicc

boi u better stop

or better yet, i should stop

and with that, let’s move on

park R U MOCHI OR R U SEXI jimin

//deep breath

i can do this

oh

oh no

no

no i can’t

nopety nope, i was a fool

i cannot do this

not at all

so nice to look at..

wtf jimin

what do u keep in there

it’s all muscle n thic and-

fuck

no wait

im not done yet

ok

jfc just a bit more

we can get through this lol no we can’t

fuck

pure perfection.

now im done fucking bYe

kim THICCNESS LEVEL OVER 9000 taehyung

starting off strong with this one, i see how it is

we’re going right to the meat, ladies and gents lol

mmmm

well

do i even need to say anything?

ooh i love this one

lets zoom in

yaaaas

oh hi

damn do u want me to die??

hello tae

that lil tummy peak too omg

ok now, vein compilation. here u go:

hi

hello

damn

ok

boi

no vein, but still relevant. he’s not even tryingggg

how does he do it??

i can’t i’m done (the glasses end me evry tim)

jeon AT THIS POINT ANYTHING GOES jeongguk

im going to die in this one

that is certain

alright //cracks knuckles

let’s just do this bitch

awww so cute

good shape, nice n thicc. cute mole

nice nice

im waiting for the other shoe to drop lol

im starting to feel it

right

there it is

ah-

my heart

alright cause im a masochistic bitch

here’s a lil comp of him taking a sippy sip rip us

fucked

me

up

jfc

jk ur something else

now veins wheee

nice nice

im totally not dead rn hahaha

fuck-

:)

ok that’s it everybody

party’s over

thank u for coming //ba da ptssss

see u next week lol

DASHA OUTTTT 🎉🎉🎉