#this is truly the best thing this hellsite has ever done

[ghosthalfa]

        ❝ Who keeps hitting me? ❞

[val-in-a-trenchcoat]

Okay no bcus I finally got that moment of OH THIS IS JUST BLOODY GENIUS about the Good Omens s2 finale, and OH IT IS BLOODY GENIUS. It fits so well, and everyone's been screaming about how in character it is and I was just vaguely flapping my hand in agreement but I didn't GET IT get it and now it's snapped into place and dammit it's so in character it hurts.

(GO s2 spoilers btw)

(also most people probably already yelled this but this is my take lol)

Season 1. Aziraphale.

"You were issued a flaming sword."

"Erm, well, yes... but... uhm... well, funny story, actually..."

Aziraphale has been doing an absolutely terrible job of being an angel since the beginning of time. (Bless him, though, he's trying his best.) Barely a day on earth, and he's already massively ducked it up, given away the one (1!!) thing he was in charge of, and accidentally befriended the literal snake of Eden, tempter of the original sin. He's confronted about it, and he most likely expected to be cast down immediately (I mean, just look at his reaction when he lied to the archangels in the Job minisode, so imagine his internal panicking when he lied to Her Majesty Herself!!)

But -- what??!! He's not cast down??!! He's got a second chance, he got away easy! Well, at least, he didn't get Cast Down, but imagine the inner turmoil -- the guilt -- the absolute fear he carried from that day on (from THE BEGINNING OF TIME, mind you).

He's been expecting to make an absolute mess of it from the VERY BEGINNING.

And then we see the Job minisode, and of course all the guilt that came with it, and just how poorly Aziraphale truly thinks of himself. He's a liar. He's easily tempted. He's a failure. (It hurt to write that bcus bby Aziraphale is none of those things but like yeah okay technically he is)

He has SO. MUCH. GUILT.

Truly, the poor man(-shaped being) has not gone a day walking on Creation that he didn't have this weight on his shoulders of constantly messing up, being a poor angel, and always feeling two steps away from getting Cast Down for all his mistakes.

And that's how Metatron got him.

Imagine all of this guilt and bad feelings Aziraphale carries with him every day, and then suddenly he gets THE GOLDEN TICKET for it all to just... ✨disappear✨.

Poof.

You can fix it, Aziraphale. All of it! Make right the wrongs and redeem yourself as a GOOD angel. It's quite literally a get out of jail free card, because he won't get cast down, he CAN'T, and while he's at it he's fixing all of it and redeeming (and making up for) all his previous mistakes and mishaps and wrongdoings.

Somehow I didn't see it before, I always saw Aziraphale as thinking of himself a little bit too highly (the typical angel) but of course not to the extent of Gabriel and the rest of the snobby angels Up High. But I didn't realise this extra level of just how much Aziraphale truly believes he needs to make up for all the non-angelic things he's done.

Honestly, this might've all been gibberish, and this is my very first post ever on this hellsite (I think?) so uhm???

Lemme know if I'm way off base lol

[landslided]

sorry same anon again just returning to briefly add that i think season 1 of cobra kai made me so insane and now i'm trapped in this loop because i see that i could be so good like it could be SO good and then i think okay well there's always samtory future cobrakai arc where sam has dropped out of college and worked dead ends jobs for years and has largely pushed her parents away out of self loathing and like tory meanwhile has found like incredible success and similarly in a situation where tory has to help sam but it compels me SO much in how it would be different than daniel and johnny where tory WOULD be SINCERE in trying to make amends etc and sam would be the more instigator/"daniel" role despite occupying the "johnny" position if that makes sense. anyway that is to say i think top two characters who narratively should have sex that aren't daniel and johnny in my opinion. also that the second most INSANE making thing the show has done that was SO good was tory winning because silver paid off the refs INSANE COMPELLING DEFINING moment of all time for samtory season 5 really dropped the ball on the execution of but INSANE set up INSANE choice for their dynamic SO rich. anyway. sorry my only friend i've managed to get into cobra kai is too busy writing deranged piano teacher aus to/with me so i have no outlet for samtory future cobra kai gay sex moment. hey does anyone else think women should be divorced bums in their forties who fuck raw. anyone else. anyo --

(hope it's okay i replied to your anon like this, i wanted to put all your thoughts on the same ask because i know tumblr just hates us and doesn't let us talk the way we want to in asks)

okay wait okay there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE just so much and i feel like it's christmas already

first thing first don't ever feel the need to apologize for sending me anons like this quite literally the best thing i've ever received in many years of being on this hellsite i feel a little bit like chewing glass with how excited i am.

i totally get what you mean about season 1 because it truly feels like they trap you inside this complicated story of violence, vengeance and expectations and then they just never truly pick it up again and you are left with the bits and pieces of this show that not only has so much wasted potential but that has now infected you and you get visions like the fucking youtube red premium cursed cassandra of what it could have been if they'd just committed to what they were selling.

but the. yes. yes, we could have future samtory, it's the thing holding our heads above the water because GOD anon, i feel like you've managed to read my unfinished stories and my drafts on here because i wrote at least ten posts about how i think sam has the same journey as johnny (rich kid who ruins herself through self-hatred and repression and just this insatiable need of not being her father, of not being larusso 2.0 even though she is very much daniel to the shape of her smile and the marrow of her bones), sam who runs away, sam who has to do so to try and find herself except she can't because she has gotten absolutely no tools to do so, she's shaped herself into this perfect glass ornament for her father to put on display because she LOVES him and he loves her too but nothing she has is her own and she cannot find a single thing in herself that doesn't feel like a lie or a performance once again.

and tory is not like this. tory is very much whole and unwaveringly herself even when it gets her in trouble. tory doesn't have to answer for any expectations, tory just has to survive and rise to the occasion in a way sam never had to. tory has this weight on her shoulders that she cannot shake off but in many ways, through love mostly, she picked that weight up and placed it there herself even if it wasn't fair and even if she didn't have much choice, but she makes conscious decisions that pretty much always put herself at risk but she does what she feels is right and good for herself and for the people she loves in the moment, meanwhile sam is carrying around this burden that was attached to her back long before she first even opened her eyes.

there is something to say about the tragedy of daniel, absolutetly unable to have friends, unable to form meaningful relationships with people he doesn't have a past with (louie is his cousin, anoush is his employee, johnny, chozen and mike are part of his past) and when he does, it's robby he chooses because he doesn't look for an equal or a friend, he looks for a way to reproduce his relationship with mr miyagi but in the opposite because that's when he felt at his safest, that's his ONLY relationship that has brought him nothing but love and understanding and when you add all that (which, like you, i do. i do see all of the show's forgetful little things as proof of daniel's forced repression after tkk3 i literally wrote a whole section about his loneliness in one of my fics but ANYWAY) when you do add all that and translate it to sam who has no friends. it's not even that she doesn't have girl friends, she doesn't and its crazy and it says SO much about her, but she doesn't have any friends who aren't something else at first. miguel is her ex, so is robby, demetri was her sort of student for a while and then a sort of colleague to which she applies a relationship that is more reminiscent of boss/employee than actual friends and she!!! doesn't!!! have friends!!! they took away aisha but even before that sam had almost purposefully fucked up her relationship with aisha to enter a circle of popular kids who were NOT her friends and were not close to her and did not care about her. sam keeps herself locked away from a lot of her peers and that is so very clearly in my head an imitation of what her father does that it becomes unconsciously her own behavior.

and worse than all that, she's fucked up! like genuinely fucked up! she keeps ruining her relationships and she doesn't know what she wants and she is angry and scared and mean when she wants to be and yet, there is such a true real kindness to her, a goodness that comes from her very core that she cannot keep from affecting all her decisions.

sam would grow up estranged from her family, unable to express these monstrous feelings she's kept locked away for song long and she would find tory again and feel this same pull. this same moment of oh, maybe you do get me, maybe you do understand what and who i am and that is totally unbearable because being known is being in danger and i don't know myself how dare you know me more than i do. and tory would be genuine in wanting to help sam, because tory, a kid who did so much to survive and who has now found success and comfort would want to help someone she feels like she might have impacted in her life, someone who deserves the same chance she got (and maybe it's to alleviate some of her guilt too but it's still true and it's still done with this undercurrent of honesty that taints everything tory touches)

i also totally agree that making silver pay for tory's win was a wonderful plot decision that they totally fucked up later on but just, ugh the exquisite bittersweet victory, the defeat in sam's eyes because the win should have been hers, she's the best and she's played every single card in the game and tory knows this, knows that she's undeserving and she has NEVER been undeserving in her life and yet here she is, silver has made a liar out of her and has changed a fundamental part of who she is forever.

older samtory who are pathetic losers in the matters of love and keep pulling the same old tricks with each other that always ends up on the mat, licking old wounds before pouring salt directly onto them.

truly. truly ship of all time. samtory has the potential of a thousand suns.

(i ALSO am a big sam shaves her head believer god im UGH yes yes yes yes)

im sorry i ended up talking so much, but like you i feel a lot of emotions for these girls.

ALSO!!!!!!!! YOUR FRIEND'S DERANGED PIANO TEACHER AU????? I HAVE READ THIS FIC AT LEAST FIVE TIMES SINCE IT WAS POSTED LAST MONTH AND I EVEN COMMENTED ON IT THAT IT HAD MADE ME CRAZY LIKE GENUINELY BITING AT MY FINGERNAILS UNHINGED!!!!!!!!

if you ever feel comfortable being off anon, hit me up i think im in love with your brain and would love to discuss samtory with you

[jerzwriter]

PSA...

I have struggled with if I should share this or not. I changed my mind many times over the past 16 hours, but it will likely eat at me if I don't... and I want to get out of this headspace. Then, I want to go back to doing what I came here for. Because right now, I'm so disgusted. I truly want no part of this shit ever again.

Like most of you, I am here for a love of a story and characters and because I found joy in reading/writing and sharing with you. As time went on, I stayed because of a community found. We have some of the loveliest, kindest souls in this fandom. I've always said 1% of the fandom caused 99% percent of the problems.

Consider these lessons learned. Mistakes made. Things I've witnessed. Things I've had done to me, and some that I've done. Ramblings... a wish list I never expect to be realized. I do think you can enjoy your time here; because 90% of the time, I do. But to do so, you have had to tune out the noise, check your ego, use mirrors, and focus on the few people that make your time here magical. People who remember why we came here to begin with. For those people, I'm so grateful. You're half the reason I'm still here.

Anon hate is best deleted.

I'm going to share an interesting link later; not shocking...but shocking. It's best deleted. It took me a long time to learn that, but that's what I do now. It's what I did last night. But I have to ask... does everyone who sends nasty, hateful shit anonymously end with, "And people wonder why the fandom is dying?" YEAH! Because of YOU! lol Self-awareness is a good thing. It boggles my mind how people do horrible things (and sending anon hate is always a horrible thing) and somehow feel they're righteous. Babes, if you think you were treated unjustly, speak with your full face and let your voice be heard. Sorry, anon hate is ALWAYS childish, pathetic, and wrong.

Fandom Divison.

I think it is SO FUCKED UP. And the fact that the majority of us are grown-ass adults makes it 10 times worse, but after nearly 2 years here, I can say it's new, and I don't see it changing. I used to want to help fix it, but I no longer think it's worth the effort, and trying can honestly even make things worse. Too many are in love with the chaos. Too many people hate too many others for the most ridiculous reasons, it's not going to stop.

I'm well aware when I start an event, a good number of people won't participate solely because it's me running it. Hell, many people here won't share their bestie's profile if they're highlighted on a side blog Kathy & I run because Kathy & I run it. That's not a poor me moment, not only because I don't care but because I know I'm not alone. As wrong as it is, everyone deals with it.

I want you to read this because it's important:

I do not know one person on this hellsite that has started a fandom event that has NOT gotten at least some hate for it.

Read that again, just for trying to do something nice. It takes a thick skin to "survive," it shouldn't be this way in a place we come to have fun, but sadly, it does.

Some advice:

Everyone - and I mean everyone - me included... we're not mindreaders. If you are, stop wasting your time here and go profit off that shit. That anon you got? You are SO SURE you know who it is? You don't. I mean, you might be right... but with the way people play games here? There is a good chance you don't. I've done this shit myself. When I'm wrong, I say it, and I learn from it. And this is a lesson learned. Unless you're tracking that IP, baby, you don't know. And if you do start tracking IPs, fasten up... you're going to be in for some shocks... and not the good kind.

STOP the hypocrisy. You don't get to have a minor meltdown and put someone on the do not engage/enemy for life list because their cousin in a fandom 3 times removed is using a FC that you used once in 2017... and their cousin has no clue... then a month later defend your BFF when they do the same thing. If you slam someone because their MC got a cat, because your MC got a cat first (and clearly, you're the ONLY one in the fandom whose MC can have a cat <- sarcasm) don't get pissed when someone thinks you had your MC get married at Christmas just because they did it first. Maybe, in addition to stopping the hypocrisy, we should start giving others the benefit of the doubt? If we expect it, then maybe we should give it, too. Again, this applies to all... even me... so stop playing the fandom's favorite game of "I know who she's talking about." Trust. You don't.

Stop worrying about other people's HCs. None of our characters are real, but the people behind them are. Don't like their ideas? You don't have to. The world doesn't exist to please any of us. Please learn what fandom is. We're here to make canon our own. Don't like it? Don't read it. Don't like someone? Don't interact with them. But don't send them hate. Don't tell others they can't befriend them. Just ... be an adult.

If you want to read someone, read them. Want to reblog? Do it. Afraid someone will be pissed about it? Fuck them, and you really may want to consider if you want them in your orbit if they are putting this pressure on you. For the record, I will never give a shit about who anyone reads or doesn't read... this wasn't a life lesson... this is one I've always known, and can't believe we're so petty about here.

Lose the goddamn victim complexes... and to those who are dealing with people with victim complexes... watch closely. That shit's not normal. And don't waste your precious time trying to convince people of who you are. Be genuine. Be direct (god, we need more of that here), and be yourself. Everyone won't like you, and that's ok because the ones who should be around you will.

I wrote this to get it off my chest. I'll probably delete it later. I don't want comments. I set it so it can't be reblogged. If people want to share it... TRUST this fandom knows how to screenshot VERY well. I'll make them work for it.

I'm just so sick and fucking tired of the nonsense here... aren't you?

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 53

Fresh Blood/Army of Ghosts

"Fresh Blood"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: no one died in the Bella and Gordon meetup, but if you’re asking if I would survive a vampire attack….not without Sam and Dean there

Wait…do we get Bella AGAIN?? Thank you. Thank you so much, writers. Don’t like that Gordon’s ambushed her

“Sam Winchester’s the antichrist” is just a sentence that’s said with utmost seriousness in this show. I love it here

Bestie is not just morally gray. She’s morally gunmetal. Morally charcoal. (And yet I still think she’s not truly going to betray the boys, but she sure is gonna look like she is)

Nah, I’m with Sam here, that was too close, Dean. You can’t be….if you get turned into a vampire, will the hellhounds have any affect on you?? Asking for a friend

I want this vampire to be lying so badly. I want her to absolutely fool them. Why do I want this??

And immediately taking that back “there was this guy. He was old. Like, 30.” Girl, you are at LEAST 25

How does JPad give the coldest, deadliest stare and also the saddest puppy dog eyes? He’s done both in this scene.

Man. I know Dean just threatened to kill Bella with all the seriousness in the world, but I’m still holding out hope for something else

Wait…is this how/when we lose Gordon as an antagonist? OH SHIT. Gordon got turned into that which he hates most. Maybe don’t taunt a vampire who has you captive….I dunno. I’d like to read a paper on the treatment of Gordon in the show, though. There’s probably a lot of commentary that could be made about him

Vampire Gordon is even more terrifying

Mmmm, original vampire should have killed Gordon when he had the chance. Mourning the loss of your new vampire daughters was the price he paid. It’s no wonder he’s begging Sam and Dean to kill him

Maybe it’s that this season is particularly short, but every single episode has had a monster or victim really twist the knife on what what the Winchesters are feeling about the deal Dean made

Oh that was pure tragedy watching Gordon kill his hunter buddy.

I’m glad Sam’s FINALLY confronting Dean about this. About how Dean’s been acting like his life doesn’t matter at all since he’s only got a year to live (less, now). Catch me crying in the break room. “I wish you would drop the show and just be my brother again.” I can’t do this…(because I’m having Todobros feelings about it)

Gordon…you didn’t have to bring innocent people into it…(I can’t wait to try to find some good writing on Gordon)

RIP Gordon. You deserved better from the writers room.

Not handling it particularly well that this is genuinely the best Dean can do to just be Sam’s brother again: teaching him how to fix the impala because he’s gonna need to learn how to…

"Been On My Mind...": Nah.

"Army of Ghosts"

I'm...not ready to say goodbye to Rose.

Also, it's downright CRUEL of the Doctor to ask her how long she's going to stay with him. He knows the answer isn't forever. He knows it CAN'T be forever. So asking is just mean for both of them.

I don't know how long Rose has been gone for, but...it feels like the world got really comfortable with "ghosts are real and we are going to treat them like nothing happened" REAL QUICKLY.

It's times like these I miss Mickey. He never would have put up with this.

OMG they moved from "ghosts are real" to integrating them into everyday life to WRITING TV EPISODES WHERE GHOSTS ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST REALLY FUCKING QUICKLY. TWO MONTHS?? IT TOOK TWO MONTHS???

hOW...I'm not here actually complaining about Freema being in this episode, but it feels odd to have her here THIS CLOSE to when she becomes the next long term companion.

These episodes and the ones in the parallel universe are the biggest ads for wired headphones I've ever watched. They really make me never want to get a set of airpods, I'll tell you that much.

Ew, Jackie. No. Just because Rose has gone places, seen things, had life experiences you never got to doesn't mean she's not still HER. I'm sorry you miss your daughter and the person you remember her being, but THIS? is not it. Talking about how she'll be a strange woman in a marketplace some galaxies away in 40 or 50 years time, but she won't be Rose Tyler. As if we're meant to stay the same way our whole lives, never learn or grow.

All THAT said, Jackie and the Doctor should get to sass each other more often.

Ew. Really don't like Yvonne...

The sphere does not exist. It seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's in a special room in Torchwood built just for it, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist, according to Rajesh Singh and his team of Torchwood scientists. Existence is tricky.

(Related: Is watching Torchwood worth it? Or is it full of people like Yvonne? I never got into the spin offs for Doctor Who. I know Jack's in it and there's a guy named Iago(? something close to that, iirc) and...another person to round out a trio of main characters. This has turned into that "no I love all my children equally. There's [correct name], *looks at smudges on hand* [close but incorrect name followed by increasingly incorrect names]")

OMG I WAS JUST SAYING HOW I MISSED MICKEY!!!! AND NOW HE'S HERE!!!

Scary that it only takes three people to fuck up the entire operation. I'm not saying that the way Torchwood was handling this was right or that they actually had things under control (they didn't, but it looked like they did. and to them, it felt like they did). But it took just three people being somewhat turned into cybermen to bring the sphere into actual existence and then bring the rest of the cybermen along with it.

I'm loving this new confidence Mickey has. Love that he can be just friendly with Rose. He's not clingy anymore, he's not guilting her for going of with the Doctor anymore. He's his own man, and I'm proud of him.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT WAIT WAAAAAAIT!!! IS DOOMSDAY THE EPISODE WITH THE DALEKS VS. CYBERMEN EXCHANGE I LOVE SO MUCH??? Oh, not to wish my weekend away (especially with the everything else that happens in that episode), but...........

[starjxsung]

(🪲)

okay but tumblr sometimes being a hellsite is honestly so real and i totally get that, hence why i also took a break throughout the semester and honestly it’s so nice to be back especially with all the thrill of the new comeback and the tour since it just reminds me of how much i love being a stay

i’m okay and safe at the moment, she lives a whole timezone away from me thank god. i honestly don’t think she would’ve handled it well if we lived near each other, and it’s so funny now because we used to constantly wish we lived a drive away from each other instead of a whole flight away. now i’m just thankful for the distance and my space. my parents, despite all the issues i’ve had with them in the past, have been nothing but supportive through all of this and were honestly so ready to call the cops on her and they did nawt give a shit about what would happen to her as a foreigner where i live. i feel like in a weird way, this experience has brought me closer to my parents. (also ps my mom had been learning sign language while i was away this semester and when i came back home she was so so good at signing and i’m so proud i could cry 🥹). anyways, i was by no means a perfect partner and im very well aware of that, but im also aware of the fact that nothing i could’ve ever done should’ve warranted this type of treatment and it’s something that im teaching myself now. at the moment i think i just wanna spend some time by myself and take love out of the list of priorities on what i want in my life. im learning to be okay with just me myself and i and its a little weird if im being honest but im okay and safe and that’s all that matters.

also, regarding the person you knew who died at the hands of her abuser, i’m so sorry for your loss and i hope she’s able to enjoy a peaceful afterlife. i also knew several people who’d either died or suffered irreversible damage to their bodies as a consequence of being in a violent relationship, and they were the reason why i ultimately ended the relationship as soon as she was far enough from me. i tried to stay with her another month, but i was anxious literally every single second of every day, i had literal nightmares of what my life would look like a year or two down the road if i stayed because the reality is that she felt bold enough to put her hands on me in MY country, in MY home, literally on MY turf. i couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d feel comfortable doing once we returned to the dorms next semester. especially since we’d set up to live just the two of us in one dorm that was like a little apartment on campus, no other roommate to be a witness or intervene and it just scared me to my very core. i knew i couldn’t trust her anymore and i didn’t want to be another story in the headlines. i didnt want to be another voice amongst the other victims and so i took the opportunity i was privileged to have and used the physical distance to my advantage to end things.

thank you so much for your words, star, you’re truly the kindest person and ilysm and wish you nothing but the absolute best for you now and forever. i’m really really happy to have you as a friend. i’ll download discord again but i’m not sure if i’ll be a participant of the group chat, at least not frequently since group chats can be very overwhelming for me sometimes.

anyway, how are you feeling about writing again? better? also how did you come up with the story like what was the process of building the plot?

Tumblr my opp…. 🙂‍↕️🫶 I love this website so much but I have so much love for writing I simultaneously HAVE to take breaks from here to maintain my passion otherwise I feel too burnt out. But we’re in that “just posted and in love with interacting with all of u again” stage so I’m content and just overwhelmingly in love with all of u. It physically hurts to love everybody on this site so much oof ouch !❣️

So so glad to hear you are safe and far away from her. Isn’t it funny how we can be with somebody for so long and just wish there was less distance? And then it gets to the point where you feel as though the distance isn’t enough? I can’t travel through the city my ex boyfriend lives in anymore. It used to be a short one hour drive, and I still know all the restaurants he frequents, the street his childhood home is on, literally everything. I don’t know what he’s up to these days, but I find myself hoping he’s in another state or something because the proximity feels suffocating sometimes. You really come to value your space, and being alone and just being with your family and not having to make time for somebody else. Which can be a beautiful thing ! I second you on crossing love off your priorities right now. I’ve felt that way for a longgg long time now. And every time I wrap myself up in some situationship again, it goes awry and I know it’s also because I distance myself out of fear for repeating what my ex did to me. In many ways I’ve become a lot like him in the process of healing, scared of real commitment and vulnerable with my romantic emotions to the first person who’s able to wrap me around their finger. But I have no real end goal in any of my relationships any more- whatever happens, happens, and if I die alone then that’s cool too :)

thank you for your kind words 🫶 it was a trip to hear about. I have nightmares about her ALL the time and I can’t imagine what she went through. I left flowers at her house for a few weeks following her passing, and I truly hope she’s in a much safer place wherever she is now. I’m sorry to hear you know of people who’ve suffered it, too. This lifetime never fails to shock me with the things I hear about :( I’m grateful you were able to walk away from it when you did, and I hope you never have to go through something like that ever again. I hope love finds you safely and wholly when it comes back around, and I’ll be rooting for your happiness all the while❣️ to think somebody would even consider doing that just disgusts me on another level.

Writing has been so much fun again ! I still write all the time even when I take breaks from here. Crazy to think I’m coming around to my one year anniversary of being on this site. There’s truly no method to my madness, it’s just pure stream of consciousness (and I tend to sleep off any bouts of writing block LOL) but I have so much stuff unpublished right now hopefully I’ll get around to finishing soon and posting for you all. When I took some time away from my hometown I actually got incredibly sick so I was in bed for all hours of the day and the only thing I could do was either write or play Tetris. which I think forced me to get back into the swing of things again. Grateful all the same and I think it was a push for me to realize I need to get out into the world more !

Sending you all my love as always- you know where to find me if things get hard and I wish you nothing but the best on your path to healing. It’s not a linear process by any means, but I have no doubt you’ll get there. In the meanwhile, remember that love is all around you already, even if not romantically ! 👼🙂‍↕️💝❣️🩷💖💘💓✨⭐️

[ragnaofazure]

10 years of roleplaying.

((And they all began here on this blue hellsite. One afternoon of 2012.))

((I was barely starting out college and my whole mess of a trip that was when I somehow decided: “Hey, I’ve really been into this for so long, why not try to commit?” Little did I know I’d basically discover my second biggest hobby altogether once I fully dedicated effort to it.))

((So what am I doing here? Just spouting written words at a wall, uncaring if they go unread. It’s only human for someone to acknowledge dedicating a whole decade of their lifetime to something has passed.))

((This is nothing organized, a big production... Nothing whatsoever. Just me talking to myself, not particularly minding or expecting it to be read or remotely noticed.))

((...But seriously. I’m frankly taking it in. I might not really roleplay here because other than the real ones (you all know who you are), I just feel I got no real staying power whatsoever. I love writing and I have even further developed Ragna and my portrayal on another site away from here.))

((I won’t go down my usual whining how I feel I can’t ever find good footing on this site ever again, since it is not the focus, but...))

((Wow. What roleplaying has done for me in the last decade is simply fantastic.))

((I could already speak English far better (you all know I’m Mexican and English is my second), but actually trying to clean up writing? Expand vocabulary? Care about trying to learn more about grammar and not rely on text editors? Yeah. That was all here and through this hobby alone.))

((It’s done me more good than the bad, and I absolutely can say I’m glad I really got into it. One hundred percent and zero doubt.))

((Other than that... Hey, now I get to flaunt I have “””10 years of roleplay experience+++””” cool kid badge. I actually feel confident enough I know how to carry most of basic roleplays and all, though! I might not be able to do overly bigger picture stuff, but at least be able to compliment to a plot and more from my part? With my own characters I choose? Hell yeah. I didn’t even think I was capable of that much before whatsoever; not even that.))

((But getting serious again for a moment? Really. Those who have stuck with me all the way through this one, on or off... You’re the reason why I never truly just trashed this account and went away. Those who also hopped along the way, no matter how little we talked... All of you. You are great. Period.))

((The amount of people in the face of getting ghosted (which I won’t go into details about) before I started slipping away from the site... Yeah. All of you are the better.))

((Koobie, Amber, Daemon, Kae, Koma... I’m sure I’m forgetting other very few, but if you are here? Somehow reading all the way down? Let it be known: You are good. Really good. And you all deserve the best for as long as I’ve been able to know each of you individually. You all have influence I’m still at this aside from holding onto this account for the memories and archival of some things I made.))

((But now being rather abrupt and hopping to a straight finish...))

((It’s certainly nice to have been able to be this committed to a hobby I thought I would grow out of. It’s helped an aspect of me grow and further solidify my grasp on a second language. It’s helped me meet other people unlike other times prior.))

((To this and more, just simply cutting it all short, for boy do I like going in circles otherwise whether I’m verbally talking or not...))

((Thank you. It’s been ten years and I don’t regret it whatsoever in the end. It’s time well spent and not wasted on any degree that was used here. Thank you blue hellsite for filling these years of my life and setting me in one direction in particular.))

[tittyblade]

tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason. 

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it. 

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved. 

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others. 

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol. 

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

[disco-tea]

BTVS for the fandom ask game!

Also, sincerest hopes that the hellsight gives you your tags back and you don’t disappear from the face of the earth

Hahahah LOL. Truly I am too much of a little gremlin to ever truly go away, but sadly the hellsite has won this day and the staff refuses to ransom back my tags. Oh well. Thank you for your support though XD 💕

Okay! Let’s see…

blorbo: lmao you probably know where this is going but…

Spike, William the Bloody, Hostile 17, Captain Peroxide (affectionate). He’s a funny little guy. My favorite undead weirdo. 💕

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): I think I understand Scrunkly a little better now. Probably Dawn. She is baby. Love her very much.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Oz. I want an AU where he comes back and we learn more about werewolves and he can be werewolf/vampire besties (beasties? Lmao) with Spike.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Kendra. I will forever love adore and miss her.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I think Andrew probably fits this best. Like he’s actually done and taken part in terrible things and I can’t presently think of any good defense for him but he’s funny and pathetic and dorky and at his best when he’s Buffy and Spike’s and the Scoobies weird adopted trash child.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): I would torment Angel because I think it’s funny. He’s a peculiar little guy who I find it easy make just a little fun of. I can bully him a little. As a treat.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Buffy already sent Angel to superhell but I would send him again as a joke.

But for real? I don’t really know. I would send Warren but he got skinned alive so idk if it’s really necessary. 🤷‍♀️ Probably Caleb too. Send Glory to Superhell so she can go back home 💖

Blorbo fandom asks

[cyanspica]

Death of a Nation Standing Ovation

Sorry I typically follow you on AO3 and am brand new to Tumblr!

spica: i’ve been this hellsite for a long time and i still don’t know submissions work so i will post this and then reblog my response

Death of a Nation is quite simply one of the best fanfics—let alone pieces of literature—I’ve read in quite some time. Your sure-fire sense of the fullest depths of your characters, the beautiful poetic nature of the language, the nail-biting and fast-moving plot, all contribute to an extraordinary and thrilling work. That’s without even mentioning how you take a pre-existing composition like Hamilton and make it into a new masterpiece completely on its own merits, using the motifs and lines from the musical in fresh, creative ways that never cease to stun. What’s more, you’re able to mirror some of the darkest horrors of our current reality—the grief wrought by pandemic and illness—and give it meaning. You make the loneliness that I, and so many others feel, so vibrant, seen, and recognized.  Is it too much to say I’ve reread this at least 10 times? In any case, I truly wish you could hear how loudly I’m applauding for this work, for you. It is a privilege to have found this.  

I know you’ve mentioned writing this has been hard—and let me tell you from your prowess, you wouldn’t know it. You make the impossible look easy. But I don’t like the idea of your struggling without support, so just know if you’re ever feeling down about writing, or lost in this work, I will do what I can to keep cheering you on and celebrating what you’ve accomplished (feel free to poke me if you ever need some hyping up, I might be late doing it but will still do it with joy).

In that spirit, I’m including some thought starters for if you ever find yourself fighting writers block. Please don’t see this as dictating what you should write (I wouldn’t dream of it!) This is just the questions of a fan which might entertain you for when you’re banging your forehead against the desk. I just thought that maybe th wonderings  that make me so excited about this work might in turn help reinvigorate you when you need it. No need to answer these, in fact, feel free to ignore—either way, I’m still here for whatever you will create, which I know will be exemplary. 

THINGS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT AND IM HAPPY ABOUT IT

—Not sure this was intentional, but one thing I find so gut-wrenching is that physiologically Hamilton is immune to becoming an infected/zombie. But, at least emotionally, in his darkest moments, his interiority is very zombie like; listless, lonely, bestial, rash,  operating sheerly out of instinct. Not be what you meant, but it still slaps me every time.

—I love how the pic of John is an anchor for Hamilton (I’m not crying you’re crying), while at the same time his relationship with it changes over time (sometimes it holds a burning quality, sometimes there’s long periods where he doesn’t touch it at all). I wonder if he will ever lose the photo or have to let it go, and what that would be like for him (for example my heart ached for Madison when he had to leave his gun behind). 

—You do an excellent job of showing how Hamilton connects finding a vaccine with any remaining meaning in his life. I wonder when and if he finds those working on a vaccine, if there are other immune folk (gasp is that what Sam Adams meant when he whispered “You’re not alone”?), and what searching for a vaccine has done to them/their bodies. I’m curious as to what makes him immune. Maybe his inherently Hamiltonian instinct to survive, or maybe whatever virus he survived as a kid that killed his mother happened to be an early pre-inculcation against the later zombie infection….

—Love how the theme of red (neck scar, wounds, anger) is such a consistent theme.  Will Hamilton ever run across John’s zombie form? Yikes

—One of my fav aspects of the H/J/M triangle is that while J/M have known each other for over a decade, H has known them for months apocalypse time, which is basically a lifetime. You do such a fantastic job at still giving J/M a lifetime of intimacy while also demonstrating how H has become so central to their apocalypse selves, which, at this point, are the selves that matter most.

—You’re so phenomenal at hinting at Hamilton’s past for Madison/Jefferson. It was pure mastery the way you waited to reveal Hamilton’s French until the very moment it broke them all; just, wow. I’m interested in how much more, if anything, they’ll learn about him, and if it’ll make them come apart or come together (bites nails). 

—The way in which you tap into and express Hamilton’s baseline survivesurvivesurvive heart beat is staggering; it almost becomes this yellowy bestial thing inside him. It makes me think about whether he’ll reach a pitch black moment, and what that might look like; is there ever a universe where Hamilton questions the survive drive and entertains whether living in the apocalypse is worth it, if finding a cure still seems an impossibility.

—Nevis, the Caribbean, the Hurricane, Charleston, NYC are such well-written phantoms in Hamilton’s mind. Will he ever have to re-walk down ghost memory lane, in the way Madison had to? Revisit Charleston? Swim at sea though he’s terrified? Again ignore me what do I know.

—The concussion series was hands down such incredible writing. I remember reading it, out of consecutive sequence as it is, which got me confused, which was PERFECT, because it made my mind take on the bewilderment that comes with being brained. Loved that (I’m also always here for sick/injured Hamilton. His personality type is near allergic to asking for help and I think the way you play with hat during his vulnerable moments is fantastic). One of many shards from that series struck me: “You’re pretty fucked up, huh? You’ll be fine, though. Get up, man. You still gotta pay for your own booze a little while longer.” (Drags fingers down face, mind spiraling in a million different directions of what this might signify. That’s all.)

—It was amazing to be able to see some of this through Madison’s eyes. It makes me think about if we’ll ever get a Jefferson flashback, or get to see the fuller versions of the whispered conversations that Hamilton misses out on. Meanwhile my brain scrambles to imagine if we’ll get to know what the note “scrawled in spidery cursive” said that was left beside Jeff’s shotgun. 

Anyways, I hope this thought vomit isn’t insulting, or seems like I’m trying to tell you what to write. I think you have such a special work here. You’ve put so much thought and heart into it, I thought the least I could do is show how it’s taken over my thought and heart. Thank you for this gift.

[flavoracle]

Hey man, I'm truly sorry that things have been so rough on your marriage lately. I can certainly relate. Even without factoring in a nigh on 2 year long pandemic, it just feels like so much has been harder on the day-to-day side of things for everyone I care about.

But besides all of that, I felt it was important to let you know that you don't have to feel like you've gotten everything figured out to put out good advice. Hell, *great* advice to be entirely honest.

You don't have to be "enlightened," in order for people to model one portion of their relationship styling off of your musings and lifestyle.

Even if you happened to blindly stumble into giving the advice that you did, hundreds, thousands, over a hundred thousand people, we all saw it and said "Yes. Yes this exactly. This right here is what we SHOULD all strive to be.

You're allowed to make mistakes. Given another time, another world, I'm certain you'd be saying to me "Make your mistakes, accept them, and learn from them. Grow in a way you wouldn't have if you hadn't made it."

And that's advice we all need sometimes. No one can be perfect. I don't think of you as perfect. But you are some random person on the internet that was right often enough in this random slough that you earned my respect.

"Be kind to yourself," yes, do that. We all should. We should all always strive our best to be kind to others, and ourselves. To be our best selves.

Thank you for being who you are, who you were, and who you are yet to become. You have helped so many people, just by being you.

People don't have to model all parts of your life, of course. But if they model the way you treat others on this hellsite of anonymity, then I assure you, you've done the world a greater service than you may ever understand. Thank you.

Shit. It’s 4am and my eyes are full of tears and my heart is full of gratitude.

To say I needed to read this would be a MASSIVE understatement. Thank you, my friend.

Thank you

[gallickingun]

ding, dong, the witch is dead!

honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.

thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.

that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.

i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.

i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.

please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.

if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.

the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.

that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.

i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.

the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.

there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.

which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.

i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i’d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.

and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.

i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.

will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.

the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?

anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖

[firstdegreefangirl]

OK, I have no idea what happened to it ((my guess is that the blue hellsite decided it was snacktime and ate the thing)), but ages ago, @kitkat0723 sent me an ask prompting the following: 

May I pleaseeeeee request #11 back hugs and #15 The biggest warmest hugs 

This is my fill for that, in this text post, because Tumblr disappeared the ask when I tried to save it in my drafts. Who knows? Anyway, it got much longer than intended, but I'm chalking that up to that it's technically two prompts, one fic. Heads up, there’s some frustratedDad!Eddie in here. Everything is all good by the end, and it’s nothing too severe, but if that’s not your kinda thing, no hard feelings. Other than that, enjoy!

Eddie’s staring at his hands, wrapped so tightly around the edge of the kitchen counter that he can see his knuckles turning white. His back is strained, muscles pulled taut against the effort it takes to support his head right now. When he flexes his fingers, it’s like he can feel the bones scraping together, hear the grinding echoing in his head.

It’s like a garbage disposal, sucking his thoughts down into its spinning blades. Except that the thoughts don’t go anywhere, and he’s still stuck thinking them.

He’s the worst dad in the world, and his kid doesn’t even have a mom to go running toward.

He can’t believe himself, yelling at Chris, sending him to his room without dessert just because he copped an attitude about his math homework.

(Actually, he did that because Chris kept rolling his eyes and calling his teacher a ‘stupid jerkface.’ Eddie met her at conferences; he might not be wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK to say it out loud. Especially when Eddie told him more than once to stop.)

But it’s been a long day, for both of them. Eddie’s coming fresh off of an 18-hour shift, and apparently Chris had a pop quiz in social studies he wasn’t prepared for. So tensions were already running high before Buck cleared the pizza boxes away, turning the kitchen table into a makeshift classroom. (And honestly, what would any of them do without Buck, swooping in with delivery dinner to take at least one thing off of Eddie’s to-do list?)

Then Eddie had spent 45 minutes trying to remember how to divide fractions. Every time he’d tried to suggest something – anything at all, from “let’s look in your textbook” to “I think you flip one of them upside down – he'd been met with a long-suffering sigh and an eye-roll that would make Anderson Cooper proud.

“Why do I have to do this anyway? Math is stupid, and my teacher is stupid, and I’m stupid, and all of it’s stupid!” Chris would shout, or some variation thereof.

And eventually, Eddie had had enough. Enough of trying to rationalize through it. Enough of Buck looking at him helplessly and shrugging his shoulders because he’s no more useful with fractions than Eddie is. Enough of Chris’ high-pitched whine, the way he flopped back in his chair and groaned. Enough reminding him to use his words, that he’s a smart kid, that they’ll get through this together.

Enough of all of it.

“Fine, you don’t want to do your homework? That’s fine!” Eddie had shouted, pushing his chair back from the table with enough force to wobble it onto two legs. “But if you’re not going to work on this, then you can go put your pajamas on and brush your teeth. No TV and no ice cream until your worksheets are done, I don’t care how long it’s going to take. I’m not doing this with you all night, go to your room!”

Chris had stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock, before thinking better of it and running off. The sound of his crutches echoing was enough to shake Eddie from his stupor, but when he’d looked at Buck, who was already looking back, concern etched across his face, he’d snapped again.

“I can’t sit there all night and watch him stare at a piece of paper. I don’t want to hear it from you either, OK? Just …” Buck’s eyebrows had pushed closer together, and the anger bled out of Eddie again. His voice cracked as he continued. “Just give me a minute, OK? Please?”

Then he’d pushed past Buck to go stare out the kitchen window, before he could say anything else to hurt someone he loves.

Which brought him to now, clinging to the countertop like the world might swallow him whole if he lets go. Honestly, he’d probably deserve it, for raising his voice at his son and at his boyfriend, all in one breath.

He exhales shakily, screwing his eyes shut against the tears that are threatening to burn hot, salty tracks down his face.

He’s the worst dad in the world, and he sent his kid to his room, and Buck probably left too, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

But he can’t give in to the anger, can’t let it take over the definition of his day. He remembers Frank saying something about that, how it’s maybe not a bad day, just a bad moment that he’s milking all day. And he doesn’t want to do that, especially not where Chris is involved. So he takes another deep breath, and a few more after that.

He’s still breathing slowly, counting every second of air in and out of his lungs, when he feels a heavy, sold weight drape across his back.

He relaxes into the contact, knows who it is before Buck can even slide his arms around Eddie’s waist. Buck holds him tightly, crouches down far enough to bury his face in Eddie’s neck, waits patiently for their breathing to even out until they’re sharing the same rhythm.

Buck stands there, holding him tightly and long enough that Eddie doesn't feel like the world is going to beat him anymore. He holds Eddie until he feels strong enough to let go of the counter with one hand and wrap his fingers around Buck’s where they’re pressing into his stomach. His wrist won’t turn far enough to tangle their fingers together, but Buck lets Eddie hold onto his hand, squeezes back as best as he can when Eddie tightens his grip.

And after a long moment, when Eddie finally turns himself around in Buck’s arms, Buck is still there. He’s there for Eddie to cling to, adjusts his grasp so Eddie can get his hands high enough to wrap around Buck’s shoulders and fist in the back of his T-shirt. He’s there for Eddie to bury his face against Buck’s chest and let out one last long, shuddery sigh.

And he’s there when Eddie leans back, just far enough to see Buck’s face when he opens his mouth.

“Buck, I--”

“It's alright, I know, you’ve had a long day. No hard--” Eddie cuts him off, before he can supply the word “feelings.”

“It’s not. It’s not alright. I overreacted, and I lashed out, and I’m sorry.” Eddie sighs and leans his forehead back against Buck’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have … I was out of line. You didn’t deserve that. You haven’t done anything tonight but try to help – and you have helped. I don’t know how I’d have gotten through tonight without you. Even if I screwed up royally.”

“You didn’t ‘screw up royally.’” Buck runs his hand up and down Eddie’s back, a hundred times more gentle than he deserves tonight. “You got frustrated, you snapped a little bit, but you backed off before you went too far. Eddie, babe, it happens. Trust me, from having parents who did screw up in a million different ways, I seriously doubt Chris is going to be talking about this in therapy in 20 years.”

“Oh god, Chris.” Eddie rears back again, dropping his hands to Buck’s sides, but not letting go of him. “I … I yelled at him and took away his dessert. Over math homework.”

“Over his attitude toward math homework.” But Buck’s words fall on deaf ears.

“He called himself stupid, and I yelled at him.”

“Eddie, hey.” Buck squeezes Eddie’s bicep gently until he can bring himself to make eye contact. “He’s doing good. I went back and talked with him, helped him get ready for bed. No progress on the math homework, but he’s jammied, and his teeth are brushed, and last I looked, he was working on the latest Captain Underpants book. He was a little worried that you were upset with him, but we talked, and he knows you had a long day, and he was being difficult and --”

“He’s not a difficult kid.” He’s not, truly, and Eddie had long ago promised himself that he’d never make Chris feel like he is.

“Maybe not, but even good kids have their moments. He knows that it’s not his fault, and that we both still love him very much. And you know what?” Eddie hums, but doesn’t say anything. “He asked me to come see if you were OK. ‘Dad must have had a really bad day,’ he said. ‘I think he might need some help with it, but I should stay in here, so I don’t get in trouble again.’”

Eddie sniffles, tears in his eyes for an entirely new reason now. Even after all of the mistakes he’s made – not just tonight, but especially now – he's still got such a sweet kid, with so much empathy, and the biggest heart of anyone he’s ever met. How many 11-year-olds would get yelled at and immediately want to make sure their dads are OK?

He doesn’t know for sure, but he’s willing to be that the number isn’t large.

“I should go talk to him,” Eddie sighs, finally stepping back far enough that he has to let go of Buck.

“I think he’d like that. Want some support?”

Eddie thinks for a moment, then nods. He doesn't know how he’d have gotten through this much of tonight without Buck, and he really doesn’t want to do the next part by himself either. He leads the way down the hall, but Buck catches his hand along the way. This time, their fingers fit together perfectly.

He stops at the doorway to Chris’ room, takes a second to look at his son, lying on top of the covers with his knees bent up to balance his book. He’s completely oblivious to the audience until Eddie knocks gently on the doorframe.

“Hey, Chris,” he starts, then realizes he doesn’t know where the sentence was meant to be going.

“Dad!” Chris sits up and grins. He grins, and Eddie’s heart swells. “Buck said you had a bad day. Do you need a hug?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods, stepping forward until he can sit on the edge of the mattress. “Yeah, I think I do.”

The next thing he knows, Chris is all but launching himself at Eddie’s lap. He flings his arms around his dad’s neck and holds on tight. By the time he’s done squirming, he’s situated himself on top of Eddie’s thighs, chin tucked underneath his head.

He’s almost too big to be held like this, but it doesn’t matter to either of them as Eddie hugs him right back. One hand lands on Chris’ head, ruffles through the thick curls for a moment before gently tugging him back by the shoulder.

“Hey, you know how I always talk about setting a good example for the people around you?” Chris nods hesitantly, like he’s not sure where the conversation is going. But Eddie does, and he knows that everything is going to be OK. He takes a deep breath and continues.

“Well, I need to do that too. And tonight, that means that I owe you an apology.”

[mahou-furbies]

Just a bit curious, but what is your regular transformation rankings for Pretty Cure series? I do like the rankings for items and weapons, after all.

Curious things happened with this ask. I started writing a response to this, wrote a little paragraph and then saved it as a draft. Then I got back to edit it later, but got the condescending “UH OH! This post was made in mobile and now you can’t edit it on desktop!” message instead. So I take my phone to edit with that, the plan being that I’ll just delete what I wrote, explain the situation and write a proper reply on my laptop because I’m not typing long passages of text with a phone. But as I was deleting the text character by character... more text kept spawning out of nowhere. It was just multiplying the original text more and more. I tried deleting only a part and saving, but eventually the post had become many times longer than it originally was. Eventually I managed to delete my entire reply, but when I saved the whole thing was just back longer than ever. So okay, I give up, the blue hellsite has won. I go back to my laptop, screencap the ask and start bitching about this in the reply. And when I try to edit the now-humungous uneditable ask on the computer to get a screencap of the UH OH message it is now back to being editable like a normal post. Gotta love this site.

Only just a few hours ago a post on tumblr surprisingly being the best social media site was on my dash, and I often find myself agreeing or at least finding some comfort in the idea that the discourse could be even worse elsewhere, and I even like some of the technical changes they’ve done since I’ve joined. But we truly musn’t let this get to our heads lest we be reminded of our sinful past.

But back to the actual question, yes, a henshin ranking sounds like a super fun idea! Not sure if I trust tumblr to be able to handle some twenty youtube videos linked to the same post so I think I’ll do each season in an individual one instead and maybe try to do some kind of compilation later.

[jayshq]

So, if you look at my followers I actually have 1,183, but that’s because this hasn’t always been Poe. I started this blog way back on Nov. 8, 2014 as Dean Winchester. It has gone through AT LEAST ten characters since then. So, a lot of these followers are dead accounts or abandoned accounts. However, when I started up Poe on here I made note that I had 1,083 followers. So, this is for the 100 of you that came here for my baby.

So, let’s get the follow forever out of the way. Let me start off by saying I’m going to forget people, I’m human. Also, I don't do very big follow forevers whenever I do them because I firmly believe in only having people who have had a very strong impact on me or Poe should be present on the list. That said, if you’re not on this list you are still very loved.

special mention of @bondforce for making this happen, thanks for being my 100th follower, lol.

REYS:

@dawnsabered : so, despite us not having any threads you’re first on this list because you re-sparked my love of the sequels and made me want to hop into this fandom again. Rping with you on Steve made me just adore the fandom more and more and made me want to bring back Poe. I’m eternally grateful to you for that. I have found such an amazing and welcoming home in this community and I wouldn’t have it without you, I love you loads, thanks a bunch.

@jedirisen : okay, so we met pretty early in and thank god we did. i adore your Rey, but more than anything you’ve been such an incredible friend. You’re always down to plot and create and just talk. You put up with my constant recommendations and are just one of the sweetest humans I’ve ever met. I’m super pumped that we found each other and I hope we have many great years of friendship ahead of us.

@fxrcefound​ : you’re a babe, you know that? Like, just such a good bean! Thank you for putting up with all my bullshit and being so fucking welcoming. I showed up in the fandom and within the first week we had multiple threads. I adore you, as does my Ben. Love’s his princess wife so much, tbh. But, no honestly I’m so glad I’ve found a friend in you. A gem, truly.

@scavenger-warrior : Ahhhh! Hi, I love you. So, first of all let me just say that our beautiful time leap verse (that all of our followers are currently being deprived of bc discord is so much better lol) is one of my all time favourite verses I’ve EVER done. It makes me so immensely happy and Ben is just in love.

@choosenskywalker : I’m TRASH! I’m so excited for the verses we have started, I’m just awful at replying. But, I really am so excited and I adore your writing, you’re very talented. You’re also super sweet and have the patience of a god. Thank you for being lovely, and I swear I’ll get better because I’m so excited to see where these things go.

@aequusjedi & @killingpast​  : you guys get a joint one because i love our poly babies despite me being a lazy bitch and not writing much with them yet. Nah, can I just say how excited I was when you joined our group Cas. I’m so excited to see how this develops and watch our babies fall in love. Aside from that though, both of you have been just lovely people OOC. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful partners like yourselves.

BENS:

@sithroyal : hey there! We also met in my early days here, and you’ve been such a joy to write with, no matter what character it’s on. You’re portrayal is one of pure perfection. I love writing with you and any reply always makes me so excited. On top of that you’ve been so kind and inviting and it really meant a lot since I was HELLA INTIMIDATED by you when I first got here.

@endheir : LOOK EVERYONE, IT’S J.J. ABRAMS EVIL TWIN, come to fix all the shit J.J. broke. No, seriously I am so impressed and will never not be intimidated by how amazing you and your writing is! THIS IS THE BEN SOLO WE DESERVED! But, you’re such a peach and so nice and I adore plotting with you. Thanks for being the bomb dot com.

@dyadalone : WE ARE CRACK ROYALTY, thank you very much. No, really though I love when we (and our friends) get up to our shenanigans. But, aside from that Poe is also just IN LOVE! And, I adore you OOC. Such a kind and loving person, you da best! I am so happy we found each other through this hellsite and can’t wait to see what nonsense our future brings.

@brokendyad : HELLO I LOVE YOU! You’re such a solid friend and such a talented writer. I’m so happy we get to have so much fun writing and plotting. You’re an absolute dear and I’ll never get over how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. Thanks for being great and I hope we stay close forever.

@lghtpulled : okay, so i can’t explain my infinite love for you. I can’t. All my characters over here being obsessed over your Ben. I’ve told you how much I adore your Ben, but I can’t say it enough. Also, our high school verse GIVES ME LIFE! But, nah you’re just so talented and SO KIND! I’m so glad that despite being SO FUCKING INTIMIDATED by you we managed to form this amazing friendship. I’m keeping you.

THE FAM:

@kesdameronn : SCARF DAD! No, lol I love that Poe’s dad is around. We haven’t done much yet but we have all the time in the world for the Dameron bros to get up to shit together. Also, Zep you are such a kind and cute soul and I just love ya!

@lieutenantxbey : Mama Dameron, how could we not love? Poe loves his mama so much and lowkey wants to be just like her. I love seeing Shara on the dash. And the few times we’ve spoken you’ve been just a ray of light, so keep being awesome.

@legacybeyne : this little shit! No, I’m kidding, Poe loves his cousin. Like wants to throw him out an airlock sometimes, but loves him. I adore this character so much and I’m so happy Poe has more family around. Also, OOC you seem like a super cool person, so definitely don’t stop that.

LUKE:

@jedishope​ : SHANE! I don’t know if I could tell you how much I actually adore you? Like, I don’t think I could. And, I low-key don’t want to because it would deffo scare you off, lol. But, no you’re just an absolute ray of sunshine and such a beautiful person. A person only has to talk to you for a second to see how just full or love and kindness you are. You bring so much joy to my dash and I’m forever thankful for it! Not to mention your Luke is hands down the best Luke I’ve ever seen. Absolutely perfect! I was so scared to approach you at first because you were just so fucking talented and obviously still are! I love your Luke with my whole heart and so does Poe.

HUX:

@muddledbloodlines : I am so excited for the verse we’ve created for our lonely babies and can’t wait to see where it goes. You have such an interesting take on this character and I love it! I’m so excited to get to know you better and really explore this. I’m honestly just in love with your writing and imagination.

OCS:

 @congeriemgriseo : so it won’t tag you, which is RUDE! But, anyway: I adore Any. Such an incredibly well thought out and beautiful OC. I’m quite picky when it comes to OCs, despite having one of my own. But, I was enraptured from the moment I read her bio, and you have not disappointed! She’s such a beautiful little chaos machine and I love her.

@orderengineer : okay, so I actually usually despise OCs that are really kind. Because as much as Mary Sue characters are fine to write, I personally can’t write opposite them. However, that’s not what Syla is! She’s so much more complex than that and I adore her. Both Ben and Orion find her insanely interesting and think she’s super fucking talented. I love this character you've created. It’s also just insane to see my characters name on the dash lol. You’re also such a sweetheart OOC and it always makes my day.

@petitehux : so for anyone who doesn’t know? I LOVE Kat. Like, I am obsessed, I have 100s of photos of her saved on my phone. I am just in love. Her and Dove Cameron are my two ultimate celebrity crushes. Which was the original reason I decided to check out your blog, and I’m so fucking happy I did. Ryann is so fucking cool and I think she brings such an interesting dynamic to the whole trilogy story. I can’t wait for myself to stop being lazy and get some bomb shit going with this incredible OC.

I’M A STALKER (also we need to rp!):

@hopedyad : I love seeing you on my dash and I adore keeping up with your posts. You’re a super talented writer and I hope in the future I stop being a shy bean and we can actually do cool things lol. You seem super sweet and like you’ve got a wicked sense of humor OOC too.

@tornbetweenthestorm : So, I LOVE FN! It’s so great to see such an interesting OC. I adore the work and thought you’ve put into this character and his struggles. Anytime I stop to read one of your replies to a partner I’m just overcome by your brilliance. I’m so happy I stumbled across your blog (thank you tumblr recs) and have been lucky enough to be mutuals with you.

@iamthecrder : well hello there. So, yeah I think your Hux is super cool and right on the money. It’s so interesting to see a different version of him and I honestly think you’re so incredibly talented! Keep being awesome, my good dude.

OTHER:

@mangohub : Monroe. My love, what can I say? You’ve followed me from my original Alec all the way to here. Despite not being a Star Wars fan you still follow me on multiple of your blogs. I will always love you. I will also never stop being astounded by your talent and world building capabilities. In case there was any confusion, YOU ARE  MY FAVOURITE PERSON ON TUMBLR. Also, you are the most talented person I’ve ever followed. I will never stop being so happy to see you, no matter the blog, on my dash. On top of being the most talented writer I know, you also happen to be the sweetest human on the planet. You have so much love in your heart and you pour into your friends like it’s going out of style. I’m so so lucky to have you and I love you, okay?

Obviously I don't talk to you lads enough, but a special shoutout to @poewingsdameron, @lightskipped, , @flyjacket, @sprklit & @vuuelo for playing this amazing bean alongside me. 

Okay, now onto the giveaway. So, friendly reminder that I make all my own stuff, so if you want examples of my work just check out across my blogs. That being said, when it comes to graphics, icons, etc I’m not very talented with creating stuff myself, so I use other peoples free templates, borders, psds and so on. I think I’m decently talented at putting them together, though. Also, having me do it just saves you a stupid amount of time lol.

Simply enter by liking AND/OR reblogging, the winners will be chosen using a random number generator. I will contact each of you via IM (or discord if we have each other) to discuss getting to work on the prizes. The only real rule is DO NOT SPAM YOUR FOLLOWERS. I’m not gonna put a limit on how many times you can reblog, but be fucking courteous to your followers, okay? This giveaway ends on APRIL 10th at NOON GMT-6.

1st PLACE: 200 icons of the character of your choosing, a promo & a dash icon.

2nd PLACE:  100 icons of the character of your choosing & a dash icon.

3rd PLACE:  100 icons of the character of your choosing.

[afterglowparker]

fanfic writer appreciation day

i love this day, because while i believe it is important to appreciate fanfic authors everyday, i do think it is nice to dedicate a day to doing so. fanfic writers (those of us who have been here for years, those of us who just started, those of us who write full-length novels, and those of us who dabble in blurbs--litearlly every single person) work very hard on their craft and i want to take the time to show some love to some of my favorite authors! i haven’t had much time to read, but here is a short list of writers who i have loved for awhile, always return too, and have had the pleasure of enjoying their work. thank you for inspiring me and giving me a way to escape from the hectic nature of life and the stress of adult responsibilities. i highly recommend giving everyone on this list a follow if you haven’t yet—you won’t regret it. 💓

the writers below are a mix of tom holland and peter parker writers (and co.)!

@hey-marlie there are simply not enough words in the english language that could express my love for miss marlie b. as a writer, marlie has done something so incredibly astounding, phenomenal, and spectacular. every piece of work she puts out moves me (i laugh, i cry, i scream in frustration and i bite my nails in anticipation) and pushes me to want to work on my own craft. i’ve been with her since far from you (home) was just about 2/3 of the way through and have fallen more in love with the world she has been creating since. i cannot chose just one piece to recommend, because they have all taken my breath away, so here is her entire spider-man masterlist. (though spidey code sleepover, homage to heartbreak and london pt.3 are on my permanent re-read list.)

@pparkerwrites j! i don’t think there’s many more things i could say about her that i haven’t already. she’s as kind as she is talented, which is a pretty staggeringly high amount. one of the first marvel writers i ever found and fell in love with, i have only become more enamored by her work. my favorites include sunburn, revelations and her mini-series ex-friends (here is pt. 1!) || masterlist

@starksparker kaylee. where do i begin? kaylee is the writer who pushed me to begin writing again. she is the writer who never fails to inspire me and constantly puts out work (and i mean full length novels—take a moment to bow down to this wonder of a woman!) that makes me have to stop and catch my breath, because the emotional roller-coaster i was put on was so exhilarating. forever and dare you to move are two of my favorite series from her! || masterlist

@madmadmilk i’ve expressed my love for j before, but let’s do this one more time (cue into the spider-verse type introduction scene). i can’t remember how i found her blog, but i’m insanely happy that i did. i’ve been following her for quite some time and it has been nothing short of a good time. her stories have a way of taking you away and making you feel a multitude of emotions all at once. she makes you laugh, she makes you cry, and she makes you thirst. my favorites include ground rules and contrapposto (seriously, i cannot tell you how many times i have re-read both of these series...and they still take my breath away each time). || masterlist

@ispiderdudei laney knows how big of a fan and supporter i am of her’s, but i want to let you all know once more! some time ago, i stumbled across her series only and fell head-over-heels in love with it, and in turn, her!! it’s a dad!tom fic and if that’s your jam, i cannot recommend the series enough. it’s a fic that i continuously look forward too and don’t get tired of reading. || masterlist

@keepingupwiththeparkers katie! wow oh wow! i’ve only been following her for a short amount of time, but i’ve loved getting to know her and her work more as time goes on! i’m currently working through her series sweetner and i’m truly at a loss for words when it comes to how i feel about it. it’s so sweet (hmm no pun intended, tho it does seem fitting) and makes me crave my own uni!barista!tom! the series truly has it all and i promise you will love it if you read it; i don’t get tired of reading it. and it really is the kind of love i am searching for in uni. and i love her for that! || masterlist

@angelic-holland alice! where do i begin? i think i found her work shortly before leaving for a flight across seas and i remember being upset i wouldn’t have any internet so that i could continue binge reading her work!! i even tried to open as many tabs with stories that peaked my intrigue as i could so i would at least have a few stories to read--safe to say i was entertained and felt many emotions on that flight. you can pick any piece of her work and it will take your breath away (and probably make you thirst), but i do have to recommend her series drive north, as it is one i always return to! || masterlist

@lousimusician i actually found this author from other people recommending them in some of my mutual’s inboxes and i’m insanely glad they did! they have a lot of great work, but my favorite is their series i want you back! it has made me laugh, but mostly cry, as it has ripped my heart straight out of my chest and stomped on it—but in the best way possible. do yourself a favor, and give it a read! || masterlist

@mcuspidey lixi! my love! you know how big of a fan of yours i am, but imma gush about you some more! lixi has a hold on my heart and i am completely okay with that; she is as great a friend as she is a writer. reading her work is always such a joy, as it doesn’t just past the time for me, but it actually makes me feel. i feel my eyes water, i feel my heart clench during angsty parts, and i feel my cheeks hurt from smiling so wide though all the fluff. because i’m a sucker for my boy peter parker, one of my favorites is her piece i like you! (she also makes such pretty moodboards and masterlists—in fact, she made my masterlist and i am so in love with it!) || masterlist

@stuckonspidey lilly—how i love you so. i can’t remember how i found your blog or what piece i first read, all i know for sure is that first night i stumbled across your blog, i binge read everything you had posted. i started reading i only feel you when there was only about four parts posted! to see how far you come is a joy and to get to know you more as person is a gift. lilly has a way of transporting you into her stories and one of my absolute favorites is her series we all wear masks! if you have a moment, i highly recommend sitting down and checking out her work. || masterlist

this hellsite has so many wonderful authors, many of whom i haven’t even discovered yet, so just know that even if you aren’t on this list, i appreciate the hell out of you. keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re so wonderful! 💓

pt. 2 pt. 3