#this is too muchhhhhh

[kitten4sannie]

writing fluff is making me feel things that smut could never make me feel in a million years……what is this melody??????

[lucabyte]

hi im back

[crustyfloor]

Brain vomit...I am insanely jealous of the people who can get the new merch. And I am planning an elaborate heist. But aside from that, I'm also crazy over the lore implications of the new photo-card designs...

Of course, they're all suffering as per usual. But it's symbolized by cracks in their skin. When I saw that, I immediately linked it back to the collapse of barriers, secrets, structures, etc. The hearts, however, confused me a bit. But I suppose it's because the reason they all "broke" is ultimately because of their love.

This is probably the most distressed Ivan has ever looked in a photo card, and really, he's honest. The tone of his card is sickeningly oversaturated and overwhelming, and his emotions are visceral, I also find it interesting how the cracks are littered all over his face, and the hearts leak out like that from the neck--and Ivan holds his face like he's trying to "fix" it, or in other words, "keep it together" as he's breaking down and becoming vulnerable, he has to cover up his expression behind something more appealing as he always does. He's also wearing his Anakt Garden uniform. When he was a child, he was just learning how to develop his mask. But even then, he faltered sometimes, Ivan's automatic response is always to try to fix it, even if he's underplaying the severity of his feelings, it's what he has to do regardless, I love his card for that portrayal when he tries to keep one wound closed, another wound opens, its erratic and uncontrollable, like his true emotions. When I see him trying, it looks like it's hard because, well--he's breaking down. Normally, you can't just bounce back from that, so in this rare moment, he struggles with how to deal with it. (A certain desperation to keep up the act?) (His eyes. I really like his eyes in this PC, it's more akin to those moments when his true expression comes out, in those very rare moments)

And then there's Till, I feel pain when my wife feels pain. His expression, too, is very overwhelming. Like he's suffocating too, But his cracks are minimal, not because his pain is small but because vulnerability--something he loathes, is coming to the surface. In tears, Till is suppressing his emotions. Who he bleeds for is ambiguous here, you could say the hearts are for Ivan or for Mizi, but I think it's both. Because he hides from the both of them and eventually the love he feels for them both seeps out one way or the other like a slow leak through a crack in the wall, he's spent so many years building a fortress of a barrier to emotionally separate himself from others, it's his way of protecting himself. But at the peak of his suffering, long too deep into this hell, losing Mizi and then Ivan, he's crying because he's slowly breaking down, and the way he grips at his hair like he's trying to hold back...urgh. In different ways, indifferently, Till ignores Ivan and his affections, and fearfully, he avoids Mizi, instead watching her from afar, doing small things to feel close to her, even when he has the opportunity to get closer, and even when she acknowledges that he's so avoidant of her that it makes Mizi concerned if he even likes her or not, as was said in the Artbook when asked for her opinion of him:

"Mizi -> Till: I'd love to be friends with him. He's an artist who's so dedicated to his work. But he seems to be avoiding me... Does he hate me?"

Till doesn't confront relationships any more than he has to even though he cares so so deeply for them because confronting his emotions and confronting vulnerability, sadness, happiness, etc., and especially fear, is a commitment you have to understand how to accept and respond to, and Till doesn't understand the how when he can only go back to his starting point, hiding and or getting angry, because it's easier. At this point, it's instinct. Shyness is one thing, but doubt is something that can make you freeze in place, confuse you, make you feel unsafe, and even hinder your ability to control yourself in the wake of fear. Fear is what roots Till in place. Till, even for how emotional and sensitive he truly is, he fears the type of vulnerability being emotional requires, he knows of it, but he can never truly embrace it out of fear, that's why he rarely ever shows his heart. He already knows that wearing your weakness on your sleeve leaves you vulnerable to pain, he used to be childish and vulnerable once, and technically, he still is, but just imagine what years upon years of cruelty has instilled in him. So he acts cold and avoidant, and these misunderstood emotions lead to other misguided intentions. That's what brings me to the quote on the back of his pc

Translation:

"사랑 같은 애매한 말보다 증오란 말이 확실해요" -> "The word hatred is more certain than vaguer words like love"

Rather than confronting uncertainty and exploring the confusing, unpredictable, and gray area that is love, hate is honest, hate is intentional, hate is malleable, and you can control it. It's Till's response to feeling unsafe to resort to anger, in the same way, Ivan resorts to trying to fix it and put on a facade. Again, it ties back to the fact that Till doesn't and has never hated Ivan, but understanding Ivan is as confusing as understanding love, Till is as much of a puzzle himself. That's why they confuse each other and clash. So they come close but remain distanced because their connection is almost like unattractive magnets, Till is sensitive and loving, compared to Ivan's regrets; of not being nicer, of not understanding how to get closer to Till, then I think about what Till's recollection of his relationship with Ivan and Mizi in retrospective would be like when he does acknowledge it.

And now...mmizisua. To me, Sua looks more aware of her pain than Mizi is, like in the storyline, she is more aware of their fragility and the cruelness of their environment. It's surely a parallel to the way Sua had kept Mizi in the dark for so many years, even when this pain and this love are so destructive, she covers up her wound with her hand and hides it from Mizi, to protect her, her wound is a direct correlation to her (inevitable) death, a truth that would shatter Mizi, even after he death she wants Mizi to remember her the same as she was when she was alive, unaffected by their world. She tries to force a smile as if everything is still okay, especially because she doesn't want to affect the way Mizi looks at her so lovingly, how would Mizi ever recover if she knew the truth?

And Mizi would seemingly be none the wiser if not for the tears because, to me, she knows but looks to Sua for comfort, to forget even when she is hurt the same way, I love this side of MiziSua a lot, the side that highlights the cruelty of their relationship that surrounds their bubble, because as long as they could distract themselves with the presence of each other, the co-dependence of their dynamic, they could forget as if they couldn't feel the pain at all as long as they had each other, but Mizi is still so affected by her pain, all this hiding had amounted to nothing in the end because Mizi never changes in Sua's eyes, and Sua is still hiding her pain, but that day, Sua had broken that bubble of ignorance to the evil around them. Mizi's cracking, and she shows Sua when she pulls back her hair. It's an interesting contrast between MiziSua and IvanTill, when Mizi and Sua smile, they look happy to be in love, even if it's twisted and hurts each other, because they only rely on each other, and Ivan and Till look inconsolably pained.

[rawwithlove]

✨GROOVY✨

✌🏻❤️😘

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

they put all the budget into this one shot of my golden boy …….. feeling very pleased :3c

[gerardway-is-my-babygirl]

post the renfield doodles‼️

FEAST ANON FEAST

[lunallamaloveshuntlow]

ACKK i just love your art so much it’s so sweet and detailed and awesome!!! i wish i had a prompt in mind but i’ll give you one later!!!!

EEEPPPPP THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! (I'm totally not freaking out rn, nope, not me!/LIE THIS IS A BIG LIE, THIS IS A VERY BIG LIE I AM THE FREAKIEST OUTEST RN!!!!) This means so much to me!!! (you are famous. You are great. Your art is great. You saying this to me is crazy and I'm literally trying to rope in my joy so I don't appear insane. ... I don't think it's working. Also I'm kinda self conscious about my art sometimes so you saying this... ARGHHHH!!!/pos!!! Gutteral growl of happiness and joy. Thank you thank you thank you!!!)

I know there's no prompt but I just haveta include a lil Huntlow cuz they're great :)

The squishies 💚💛

[munchboxart]

DOROHEDORO SEASON 2 IS COMING I'M GONNA THROW UP I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AIKAWA & KAI(?) IS GONNA SHOW UP AND DOCTOR KASUKABE WITH HARU though probably not long(er) haired Risu BUT!!!! THE CROSS-EYES. I MISS THEM. THEY WEREN'T EVEN THERE TO BEGIN WITH YET BUT IDGAF WAAAA

[royalarchivist]

Luzu: Alice says, "Hi Luzu! I'm new to your streams, I come from Philza's community, so I do enjoy a bit of Hardcore. Hope your world will last as long as his."

Alice, spoiler alert: it's not going to. [Laughs] I'm- any second, I'll die.

[aletheialed]

Right now, wine glass in hand and staring vacantly into the dark corners of the room in which he dwells - Barok can't help but think about his brother. To think about Klint during hard times, the man who he's always admired so much, has always come naturally to him - but it can't bring him any comfort now.

The truth is, Barok doesn't know what he should feel more betrayed about. The fact that the brother he'd wanted to emulate all his life was nothing but a killer, who's actions resulted in the ending and ruining of so many lives, including Barok's own? Or... is it that, until the very end, Klint was too afraid to share that horrible truth with him, even when that fear allowed him to be controlled into committing the most heinous acts imaginable?

It makes him want to laugh with a bitterness he hasn't felt in years. It makes him feel ill; desperate and angry and like a fraying rope about to snap. Perhaps it's sinful, and a sign of Barok's own weak character, that Klint's lack of trust in him might be what hurts the most. Had he thought Barok would break under the weight of the truth, and sought to protect him from that fate? What's worse is that Barok doesn't know how he would've reacted deep down. What's the scarier thought - that Barok would've turned away in despair and been unable to carry on just as his brother feared, or that he would stand with Klint, perhaps even turning a blind eye to his crimes...?

...There's no point in thinking about it now. But if he doesn't think about Klint, then there's no shortage of other things to take his place at the forefront of his mind. Such as the true identity of the Reaper, and how Barok had been complicit in his crimes for the longest time - allowing himself to be used and manipulated like a puppet on a string, even when he didn't see the full extent of it all.

His whole life, these past ten years in which he thought he'd endured so much, all for the sake of the people of London... what were they all for?

When he hears the knock on the door, it's tempting to ignore it entirely - he barely has the energy to stand, anyway. He doesn't know who it could possibly be, considering everything, but... in the end, he rises like a man possessed, and finds himself walking to open the door as if in a trance. What he sees when the door opens is the last thing he expects.

"Mr... Naruhodo...? You... pray tell, what are you doing here at this hour?"

@tenacquity ( starter! )

[nadhie]

my hair is finally long enough where my curls are starting to form again :D!!!

[illlbebetteronsaturn]

WHY NOBODY TOLD ME THAT 911 IS ESSENTIALLY FINAL DESTINATION.

I LITERALLY JUST WATCHED A GUY PROPOSE AND IN THE SAME SECOND GET SPONTANEOUSLY EATEN BY AN ESCALATOR.

[jeysbvck]

i want naomi to win so bad mannnnnn

[takethebodymarc]

team panda i love you so damn much

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Hii!! For the ask game 🐸🌿

Have a lovely day!!

hey!!!! thanks for the ask!!!!! ask game

🐸 - Describe your aesthetic.

I wear too much black to be normal. I'm not as bad as I used to be in high school (because I used to wear skinny jeans EVERY day) but usually it's a cross between anime weirdo and repressed regressed emo kid who still has all of their old band t-shirts from ht.

🌿- Describe your favorite outfit.

My favorite outfit... I have a pair of camo woman's army jeans I found at a thrift store a long time ago with my mom. Those with a random band or anime t-shirt tucked into it (bc I literally habitually tuck in all of my shirts). Put this chain I bought from spencer's when I was 14-15 in the loops, then my vintage red wilson leather jacket that my dad found (also from a thrift store) that's from like 1987... black regular socks ig idrc bc they aren't notable... but with my red and black Chucks. (they're super weird. I've never seen another pair like them. My dad thinks they're vintage too but idfk. Doesn't matter yk yk.). Maybe a beanie too- Depends on the day.

Anyway random, right? Cause the camo print clashes hard with the red jacket but like I feel cool, and I don't get to wear my leather jackets enough. Thrifted clothes just hit different though. If I had more confidence, I'd post a picture but maybe another day, hopefully that doesn't sound SUPER incoherent though.

Hope you have/are having a good day!! :]

[sesamebri]

im going to play a little botw before bed and just trot around with my horse and listen to the music as a send off for now smooch to the game. i haven't played botw for a hot minute but it's always been the game i could return to and instantly feel at home 💕 looking forward to my new adventure with link tomorrow morning!!!!!!! (after my stoopid dentist appt grumble grumbleeee)