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lilhawkeye3 · 4 years ago

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This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

#ohio discourse #50 states reviews #oregon #midwest #california #texas #New York #massachusetts #deep south #midatlantic #New England #united states #the clone wars #DISCOURSE COMMENCE

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inmyarmswrappedin · 4 years ago

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The good:

Skam España set up Amira’s crush on Dani (and Dani’s crush on Amira) in s2 and, regardless of how it ends, they are following through with that storyline, instead of dropping it like a hot potato.

The bad:

Okay, so first off I have to say I’ve never vibed with Lucas Nabor (Dani)’s acting. And by never I truly do mean never, as in the first day of Cris’ season, I found the way Lucas N played Dani in the confrontation with Cris after they get home extremely cringy. This was way before I could’ve ever dreamed that Skam España would whitewash Yousef’s character and turn him into a white character.

So, for me, it’s not just an issue of whitewashing (which is already bad enough on a show with no meaningful male characters of color), but eskam pairing one of my favorite Skams character ever with the character I like the least for acting reasons.

But I figured eskam wouldn’t really have the audacity to whitewash a love interest and not give us a Yousef of color in another form. Just like the way we got that 5-second glimpse of Lucas Rubio hooking up with a boy named Iván in the s2 finale, so people could see the male Isak had also found an Even, or the way we got a full season of Miquel being the abusive boyfriend that Spanish viewers saw William as, but for Noorhelm fans, Alejandro still got to be Nora’s endgame.

And so, when Sofian in the trailer was blatantly posited as a love interest, juxtaposed with shots of Dani with the same expression and filmed from the same angle, I thought, “Okay, so Amira will have an additional love interest who is actually Moroccan, and he’ll probably be around much less (like Iván in s2 and Alejandro in s3), but he’ll be the endgame.”

Like... Never in my wildest nightmares would I have thought that Skam España would take... idefk... Lito from Skam and turn him into a full fledged character who’d play the fuck out of Amira and attempt to talk her into bearding.

When Kasim was introduced and people immediately noticed the look between Lucas and Kasim, I thought, “no fucking way Skam España would pull an Elite.” WHEN, when has Skam España looked towards Elite for inspiration before? Not even just to “fix” Elite storylines and turn them into good storylines. Elite and Skam España have never existed in the same sphere or tried to do the same things or impacted each other.

When the spoilers came out, I thought back to the time in s3 when the same hackers said that Alejandro would hit Miquel with a bottle. At the time, I heard of the Alejandro spoilers and wondered to myself, “is this something Skam España would ever do?” And I thought nah, no way, Skam España has never been concerned with toxic masculinity or romanticized it. And I was right!

So I did the same thing with these spoilers, and I was SO SURE that I had understood the show, that I had understood what Skam España had been trying to do all these three seasons, that Skam España was so disinterested in men as a whole that they’d never try something so complex with either Dani (a conversion storyline) or Kasim (a closeted storyline). Both of those storylines are storylines Skam España gives to GIRLS. Because men in eskam have always been more about what they symbolize for the girls, than their own entities. And I liked that! So, on that level I feel betrayed, because Skam España had been telling it was one thing for three seasons, until in s4 they decided Amira didn’t deserve the same treatment as all the other mains, where she doesn’t get to be by far the most complex character in her own season. (I’m not saying Amira isn’t complex - she is. She is the most complex Sana and the most nuanced.)

There are a couple things that gave me a bad vibe about this season from the start: one was the fact that Kasim wasn’t introduced in episode 1. Skam España always introduces the characters that are significant for the main in episode 1, so for Kasim to not show up in episode 1, that was a sign. The other one was that Skam España gave the bonus clips to Alejandro. This is a show that refused to give Lucas bonus clips in s2, because his experience as a gay boy just wasn’t relevant to Cris. Not in the same Viri’s experience was relevant to Nora. And suddenly, Alejandro (and not Nora) gets the bonus clips in a season about Amira? Like, it was just fucking weird. It is weird as shit that a show that has always gleefully centered the female experience to the detriment of the male experience, would decide in their Muslim woc season, that it was time for the whitest, straightest, cisgenderedest, richest character on the show to be the first one to get some focus.

Because Sana seasons across the board have underperformed compared to the seasons that came before them (because of racism and islamophobia in Europe), I thought that maybe Movistar had decided to lean on the romance a bit more heavily this season, in order to make it seem more appealing. Kinda makes sense, no? We’re tired of seeing straight white girl seasons, so making Nora’s season lean a bit more on the educational side of Skam isn’t a risk. People will still tune in. But a Sana season is a bit of a harder sell, so we have to sweeten the deal with romcom tropes and all the other couples in the show making out and about to have sex, to make up for Amira not getting those scenes. I thought I could live with that.

But like, there’s adding some background fanservice from established couples and then there’s this monstrosity that leans into EVERY islamophobic Muslim trope ever (because it’s super commercial and high stakes drama and excitingggggg). Like, in Western media, Muslim men are either oppressors (abusive, strict husbands who beat their wives and are terrorists or thugs or thieves) or oppressed (closeted gay boys who resort to extreme means, such as bearding or dealing drugs, in order to stay under the radar). They never get to be the leading love interest. I have never seen a Muslim man of color on Spanish TV be the male love interest, and especially not the love interest to a Muslim woman. And Skam España will be no different.

I also hope people understand the way it undermines literally every other thing they’re trying to do with the show. Amira already explained at length both her own stance towards gay people and Islam’s stance towards gay people, in s2 and her bonus video with Lucas. if you want to be a Muslim in good standing, you can be gay as long as you don’t act on it. But you can also be a Muslim who eats pork, or a Muslim who doesn’t fast in Ramadan, or a Muslim who doesn’t pray five times a day, because ultimately it’s about every individual’s relationship with Allah. To go back on this for a homophobic Muslims storyline undoes everything they did in s2.

It also undermines Dounia as a character. Here’s a practicing Muslim who longs for a safe space, who doesn’t want to answer questions from non Muslims, who thinks it’s better not to even open the door to a relationship with a white non Muslim, and who’s really confident in all those decisions. And if you think the show isn’t setting her up to be confronted with the fact her brother doesn’t feel safe among Muslims, who prefers questions from non Muslims over telling the truth to Muslims, who has happily opened the door to a relationship with a white non Muslim, who thinks that Dounia is a homophobe in short, and that she will be made to reexamine all her beliefs because of her brother... I just don’t know what to say to you tbh.

And also, this clip made it seem like Amira’s Muslim world wouldn’t accept her crush on Dani, undoing everything the show has done until now. Dounia didn’t disapprove when Amira told her she had a crush on a white non Muslim. She understood and shared her experience. Amira’s mother knew about her crush on Dani and never tried to stop it, nor did she discourage it when Amira told her about it. Why is Skam España suddenly acting like Amira can’t tell anyone about her budding relationship with Dani, when every anon on tumblr dot com will tell you that relationships between Muslim women and Christian men happen all the time?

And finally, it just makes me reexamine previous Skam España seasons and wonder... Did they make Amira only start wearing hijab in the first day of s1 because they knew a character like Sana wouldn’t contemplate a relationship with a white character who makes islamophobic jokes, drinks and makes out with the Sana’s friends in front of her after specifically inviting her to a party? Did they make Amira the show’s Isak’s best friend just so they could whitewash Yousef? Was the whole purpose and trajectory of Amira on the show, everything they did with her, a justification for whitewashing one of the few positive men of color on Western TV? For refusing to show a Muslim girl in a happy relationship with a Muslim boy? To only portray and devote time to Muslim poc/white atheists relationships? (Amira’s parents not withstanding.) As if the most positive outcome for a Muslim person living in Europe is to marry a white atheist. That is what Skam España did to Sana’s season, to Sana, to the balloon squad.

#skam españa #anti damira #anti dani soto #if you are a damira or dani stan and click on this post #then you have been warned #if you come on anon to attack me for this post #do not expect me to be polite

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pathologising · 4 years ago

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the whitest white girl shit I’ve ever done is walk to Starbucks in 30-40° weather and get a pink drink and then proceed to walk back to Walmart and enjoy it while my hands slowly recover from nearly getting frostbite

obsessed with that energy tbh 💖

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teamrocketmemes · 4 years ago

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Scary Game Squad: Best of Until Dawn starters

Sentence starters from the “Best of Jesse Cox & The Scary Game Squad” video for their until Dawn Lets Play! Feel free to change pronouns / etc as needed!

“We are back to play some scary games with your sexy bod.” “It’s a story where we have to keep these people alive until dawn.” “I don’t care, because we’re here to get scared.” “Cool iphone background.” “This girl’s gonna get stabbed in the guts.” “Peter Stormare looks so much like Peter Stormare.” “Galadriel? The high elf?” “She likes squirrels! Don’t shoot the squirrel!” “Why do I feel like that squirrel’s in league with the killer and we just let him live?” “Three kids? In this economy? Well- one kid now.” “This game is like, striking you bluntly over the head with choices.” “Keep looking, I ain’t looking elsewhere.” “You know what’s never going to change? How shitty Nickelback is.” “I honestly would just turn on that tub, get the jacuzzi going, let the house melt.” “Just walking through the woods being like ‘we’re gonna fuck right?’ ‘oh yeah we’re totally gonna fuck’“ “Which means they’ll never fuck, they’re both dead.” “I’m gonna kiss you so hard.” “He’s clearly in his mid-thirties.” “I love the sexual tension, and this is usually how I communicate with normal human beings, but not while crazy dudes are chasing us.” “Last time we played one of these games I was like, effected for a little while.” “Ha! Ha! I didn’t get scared!” “A wendingo ate my baby.” “They’re really into home security systems.” “Dude, shout out to a simpler time in America when all of us were captivated by the California Raisins.” “Alright, pause. What does that have to do with anything?” “He said she was pruny, I said like a raisin, and now...I just remember, back in the day when everybody had the shirts.” “What were the raisinettes?” “Why do you guys think there’s like, wendigos?” “All signs point to wendigo.” “That is the whitest fake skeleton there ever was.” “If that skeleton fucking comes to life and chases us down this hall, I’m gonna walk out of this room.” “If that skeleton comes to life, that’s it. It’s over.” “You never fucked anything up, but you did when we needed you do.” “Just sucker punch a wolf.” “YOU-- THAT- FUCK MAN.” “I got so scared, I couldn’t breathe.” “Also, there’s like, the wendings.” “LET IT FUCKING RIDE, BOYS.” “(singing fall out boy out of stress)” “Where’s the part where I can grab it and examine it?” “Slip in a little tongue~” “We’re all the way down here, no one’s gonna notice!” “We’re at that point in the game where he’s had too much to drink.” “Fuck you guys!” “Thank god somebody kissed someone in this god damn game.” “She took like a, fucking, three hour bath.” “Oh she is SO wendigo.” “I’m just saying, I’ve seen a few instagram photos like that. Textbook wendigo.” “Does this dog speak english?” “There’s wendigos. I think the dog can speak.” “This is where we get fucked up.” “I’m more angry about the fact that I’m also calling him Indigo.” “We found out where they put the guy from tales from the crypt.” “YOU ARE THE WORST! YOU ARE THE WORST!” “We all scream for ice cream!” ”I’m sorry, I got scared!” “No shit you got scared! Everyone in the entire planet heard that scream!” “It’s that fucking squirrel again, isn’t it?” “Wendigos? Yes. English speaking dogs? Absolutely.” “We’ve gotta turtle this girl.” “I just wanted to have sex with the popular guy and now look at me.” “This is what he would have done if that skeleton came alive.” “We ride together, we die together.” “I just wanna be clear that we solved this entire god damn game in the first episode.”

#rp meme #ask meme #sentence starters #inbox meme #video game memes #★ our memes.#★ mod jessie.#★ team rocket’s queuing off again!#/ note from mod jessie: this is arguably one of my all time fave lets plays on youtube #/ 100% recommend the full LP if u need something fun

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chameli · 3 years ago

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I watched Aadmi Khilona Hai (1993) and oh boy, was it a steaming pile of shit.

Read at your own risk.

This film is about two brothers, Sharad (Govinda) and Madan (Jeetendra). Sharad is an orphan who was raised by his older brother, whom he also kind of worships as a God. Madan is married to Ganga (Reena Roy) and they have a daughter, Guddi. Ganga is also pregnant, which we only know because she randomly ends up in the hospital to give birth.

Sharad meets Poonam (Meenakshi Seshadri) at college by - you guessed it - being a complete creep. She blows him off but they keep running into each other. They eventually fall in love. Poonam is poor and lives with her grandfather and sleazy uncle. Some random guy her uncle hangs around (played by Dalip Tahil) is in lust with Poonam and will stop at nothing to get her. The uncle helps this creepy old dude, but Poonam overhears and runs away.

***MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING*** While Poonam is trying to escape these goons, their jeep runs over two homeless old men sleeping in the street. They are then shown screaming in pain while their blankets are soaked in blood. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU INCLUDE SOMETHING LIKE THIS? JUST WHY?! I know they were just acting, but that broke my heart and was really traumatizing to watch.

Anyway, Sharad magically happens to be there and saves Poonam in time. Dalip Tahil's character is never seen or mentioned again after this. Okay, literally what was the point of him anyway? Sharad and Poonam are quickly married.

Oh, and Ganga also has this really horrible aunt who always comes over for some reason. Bua (Sulabha Deshpande) is trying to get her daughter married to Sharad, but the daughter ends up falling for Sharad’s friend (played by Laxmikant Berde). However, their romantic subplot literally goes NOWHERE. This couple, for some reason, even have a weird song together. Anyway, Bua likes to talk mad shit about Poonam any chance she gets, despite being constantly told off by the entire family. Like...why are you even here, lady? Gtfo.

Poonam soon finds out that she can never have biological children. She goes on a huge spiel about woman who can't bare children are incomplete, how God made her a defective woman who can't even do the one thing she was made to do, blah blah blah. I was rolling my eyes so hard at this point.

Suddenly, Ganga gets this genius idea to GIVE HER SON AWAY WITHOUT EVEN ASKING HER HUSBAND ABOUT IT FIRST. Because who cares about the father, it’s not like it’s his child too or something. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? What kind of mother gives her child away to her sister-in-law, just because the SIL is unable to have her own? A child this woman carried, gave birth to, and is the actual mother of. This isn't even about being selfless, it's a very cruel thing to do to a little baby. Madan comes home and Ganga tells him what she's done. And guess what this mf does? He cries tears of joy and thanks God for blessing him with such an amazing partner. BRO THAT'S YOUR SON, WHAT THE HELL? DO YOU NOT EVEN CARE A BIT ABOUT YOUR CHILD?

I can't even at this point. That's like me telling my sister "Hey, I can't have kids so give me your baby!" I'm sure there are many orphaned kids out there Sharad and Poonam could have adopted, buuuut THEY ALL GO ALONG WITH IT BECAUSE BHABHI IS SO PURE AND SELFLESS. Who cares how much trauma and confusion this kid will have when he's older, right?

Five whole ass years later (aka the very next scene), the kid, Suraj aka Munna, grows up into the whitest looking child I’ve ever seen. Sharad and Poonam are visiting the older couple when Suraj shows off his brand new, expensive video game. Ganga chastises Poonam for wasting money. She then asks Sharad to give her about 10-15,000 rupees so she can replace the temple floor with marble. Sharad casually says it's a waste of money and Ganga is FURIOUS. Literally, she takes this soooo personally. Oh, and to make matters worse, Suraj somehow wins the lottery. This makes Ganga lose her shit even more.

That's when Bua starts to emotionally manipulate her by turning her against the family. Ganga starts acting like a huge bitch and even takes Suraj (her own son) away from Poonam and Sharad. Madan finds out and he’s angry. He tells her it's over, rips her mangalsutra off, and leaves with the kids. Ganga freaks out and starts destroying everything in sight. She tells Bua to fuck off, then injures herself and faints.

Madan arrives at Sharad-Poonam's house and tells them he's left his wife. Sharad's all, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? If you severed ties with your wife, then you've also broken our bond! Excuse me? Bros over hoes! They all quickly go back to the house where they find Ganga knocked out. After gaining consciousness, she apologizes to everyone and begs for their forgiveness. Of course, they instantly forgive her. Madan also arrives and takes her back, but I didn't bother to listen to whatever crap he had to say. Then everyone is happy again and the film ends.

THIS ENTIRE FAMILY NEEDS INTENSE THERAPY!!!

Govinda always plays the pure, holy, golden-hearted devar (younger brother/brother-in-law) in every single one of these campy family entertainers. I confess, these type of films are my guilty pleasure but sometimes they're too much. He played the same role in Bhabhi, another dumpster fire.

Meenakshi Seshadri is one of my favorite actresses, but she didn't have much to do except cry and look pretty. Reena Roy's bright green contacts were really distracting and Jeetendra was just there.

It didn't make sense how Ganga, who always told Bua to shut up, was suddenly so easily manipulated by her. And this was only about 30 minutes before the ending, so it made NO sense whatsoever. A more powerful actress like Aruna Irani or Bindu would have made this situation more believable.

The editing was terrible. We literally go from a scene where Suraj is a newborn baby to one where he's about a year old. And in that same scene, Madan comes back from a business trip...bro, how long were you gone? Outfits were repeated constantly. Reena Roy woke up and wore the same outfit/makeup/jewelry that she was sleeping in the night before. Some scenes end abruptly and random things happen which aren't mentioned again.

And now for the pros - the soundtrack was really good. I LOVED Bahot Jatate Ho & Mehndi Lagane Ki Raat. Those are such underrated gems.

If you read all of this, you may be entitled to financial compensation 🤭😂🤣

#bollywood #review

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grimbeak · 4 years ago

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The whitest white middle school boy thing I’ve ever done was pretend that being in heat and being in cold had the opposite effects on me for over a year straight

So basically, every once in a while I go to this day camp where we go on hikes, make stuff (like knives!), eat food, etc. It’s cool as shit. It’s once a week (unless you wanna go more than that), and I usually go on Fridays.

So I was in 6th grade or smthn, and I had a group of friends. I have literally no idea what their names were, but there were 4 of us and we were all girls (lmaoooooo not anymore fucker). This entire experience was probably a big hint towards me being genderqueer /hj.

So, basically, if it was hot asf, I would put on a jacket (dangerous!) and say I was cold. If it was cold asf, I would take off my jacket (also dangerous!) and say I was hot.

I’m really confused at how I didn’t get hypothermia or heat stroke.

When I stopped was when I was at 1 of the girl’s b-day parties. It was a sleepover (my first one!) and both of the other girls were gonna be there (though only 1 could stay for the sleepover).

We went on a hike, and then it started raining.

All four of us went with a few other ppl and our adult to go on the hike instead of just heading back (we were at the gate literally right next to the house lmao).

It was cold as fuck. I think it was also hailing a bit. Yeah, it was.

...So, that was the thing that ‘switched’ my temperatures back to normal. I also couldn’t talk for a few hours because my mouth was numb.

Yeah.

wait at the sleepover i think i kissed a girl on the lips

#did i???#idr #might have just been on the cheek??#we all did #we were playing a weird version of spin the bottle or smthn like that #Genderqueer #trans guy #white boi things #don't try this at home kids

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exquisitedeadpanda · 2 years ago

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Assam dikkum with oat milk. I also added cinnamon, nutmeg, and local honey to sweeten it a little. Delightful!

#real life #high posts #tea #tea latte #self care #vegan #vegan treats #vegetarian #vegetarian treats #organic food #organic foods #learning to make tea lattes at home is a goddamn game changer #this is the whitest shit i’ve ever done #white people shit #cottagecore #tradwife #queer shit #I had it with paneer tikka masala #Indian food

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borisbubbles · 4 years ago

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17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

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So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism.

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got.

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

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Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

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Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

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Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

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I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo! Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc.

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3 God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!!

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2020 #Eurovision Song Contest #Czech Republic #Czechia #Bohemia #Ben Christovão #Benny Christo

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j0hn-deacons-perm · 4 years ago

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Thank you for the tag @ourladylennon !

Name/nickname: Melissa/Mel/Nanna

Gender: Female (Uses She/Her pronouns)

Star sign: Sagittarius. Apparently my sun and moon signs are as well. I had a friend who’s into star charts see that and be like ‘well shit’ so that’s comforting! 🤣

Height: 5'8"

Time: 1:48 PM as I’m about to press the post button

Fav band: The Beatles have been my boys since I was a kid but I really love Queen as well.

Fav solo artist(s): IAMX (Chris Corner), Chelsea Wolfe, Roger Taylor, John Lennon, and Grimes.

Song stuck in my head: ‘39 by Queen.

Last movie: It Might Get Loud. It’s a documentary around Jack White, Jimmy Page and The Edge talking about their guitar playing, how they got into playing and them just jamming. It was really interesting!

Last show: I’m not sure...might have been the Great British Baking Show

When did I create this blog: I think September 2020? What great memory I have, huh?

Last thing I Googled: The name of the last movie I watched LMFAOOO

Other blog: My personal/whatever blog is @nanna-melissa

Do I get asks: Normally? Not really. I wish I did since I want to interact with more of you tbh

Why I chose my url: Dead ass, it popped in my head and thought it sounded cool. I was expecting to delete this blog in like two days and nothing will come of it. Now it’s just my little cave where I thirst over John Deacon, Brian May and John Lennon 🤣🤣

Average hours of sleep: About 5

Lucky number: I don’t really have one?

Instrument: I used to be able to play a couple songs on bass a few years ago but now? Nope. I can play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder with my nose if that’s anything.

What am I wearing: a Queen a Kind of Magic shirt and black skinny jeans.

Dream job: artist of any sort really; graphic art or writing would be ideal

Dream trip: I’d like to visit the UK sometime. Or just anywhere that’s not the US tbh.

Favourite food: This is going to be the whitest thing I’ve ever said but left over, cold veggie pizza dipped in ranch. Namely onion and mushroom.

Favourite song: I know you probably wouldn’t know this since I talk about it all the time but Cool Cat by Queen. Also You Won’t See Me by the Beatles.

Last book I read: Read more out of Substance: Inside New Order by Peter Hook (the bassist). Nearly 2/3rds done with that bad boy. I’ve also been reading Queen Unseen by Peter Hince (aka Ratty, John and Freddie’s Roadie). They’re really interesting reads.

Top three universes I’d like to live in: pffffff, I have no idea. I can’t really think of any one that I’m a fan of like..Silent Hill? hell nah. Resident Evil? nope. Uhhh...yeah. I don’t know.

For tagging...I think Joane tagged me in this before a while ago but on my main blog so I won’t tag her...let’s do @george-fangs @casafrass @moodysunflowergirl and @littledarlingwellaway

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moviediary · 4 years ago

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Grease 2

So, this movie kind of slaps in the worst way ever. You have to watch it with the knowledge that it’s terrible, it makes it a lot better. The songs are pretty underrated, a lot of them are low key bops and I would probably listen to them without watching the movie. It’s a product of its time so of course it’s aggressively heteronormative even though the main guys are very queer coded just like most 80s movies. The main girl is a fine singer, but her character is kind of boring and really just an ass most of the time. She also has no business being in a movie about the 50s (or maybe the 60s it’s not very clear) she is so obviously a quintessential 80s chick from her hair to her leather pants, she’s basically Sandy’s makeover as a person. In my opinion the main love interest could have done a lot better. He spends the whole movie doing the reverse of the first movie, going from geek to biker??? Yeah, they all ride motorcycles now, but they’re still called T-Birds which really doesn’t make sense but nothing in this movie really does. Oh! And Frenchy is in it, she came back to high school to complete her chemistry credits?? The whole movie is a mess but honestly, I enjoy watching it. I’ll watch it again, I already have.

Basically it’s the first movie but gender swapped and with a talent show and biker gangs.

The T-Birds really make this movie, they’re the most interesting characters in it. Their leader Johnny is funny and likeable despite being a dick, he has very obvious vulnerability and growth during the film which makes the audience not hate him. His goons are hilarious, they have some of the best lines in the movie and I actually laughed out loud at some of the shit they said. I could do without the gratuitous sexualization of high schoolers but what can you do. I don’t really understand why they have beef with this 20-person biker gang of full-grown adults that apparently have nothing better to do than antagonize 4 teenagers but hey I get it they need a common enemy. I also get that they were going for anger and jealousy when Johnny looked at Michael every time he was being his sexy mysterious biker persona but maybe they should have told him that because that definitely isn’t what’s coming across in his face. He has the biggest man crush I have ever seen I swear.

Michael, who is apparently Sandy’s cousin even though he’s British and she was Australian, really drives the story; everything happens because he wants to date Stephanie even though the only real conversations, they’ve had are just him being nice and her being a dick the whole time but I guess she’s pretty? So he becomes a biker to be what she wants because she wouldn’t date a hot smart guy with a British accent, no way he’s a loser. I guess. So instead he spends the whole movie trying to live up to her standards which is more than a little infuriating but lets be honest the plot isn’t really why you watch this movie. It really only starts happening in the 3rd act anyway, most of it is taken up by talent show hijinks and motorcycle themed music numbers. And a surprising amount of bowling. I wasn’t expecting the coolest kids in school to have their own bowling league but that bold choice did lead to a very confusing but fun musical number in which we see that Johnny sings high sometimes because he’s basically Danny in even tighter pants (somehow) and Paulette (a pink lady played by Judy Garland’s daughter) has an amazing voice that doesn’t get used enough in the songs.

There’s a lot of odd running gags in the movie that really don’t need to be there. Rhonda’s obsession with her “huge nose” even though it’s really not that big. The random teacher that had a nervous breakdown and keeps almost dying. The teacher whose whole gimmick is that she’s hot and maybe sleeping with her students? But definitely sleeping with the substitute teacher. The fact that Johnny’s right-hand man’s name is Goose? A reference to a movie that hadn’t even come out when this movie take place? I think anyway, like I said it’s really hard to pinpoint when this movie is supposed to take place. Also the T-Birds are on the football team I think? Or they’re running drills during PE which also doesn’t make sense with their characters. I don’t know man the whole movie is so strange they say stuff and then never bring it up again.

The ending is where I think the movie really lets you down. After a very weird talent show scene Where Steph has a very boring song and is all sad because she thinks Michael is dead, they have a party. And the party is a Luau and it’s quite possible one of the whitest things I’ve ever seen its so embarrassing. They have a long song about how they’re having a Luau and then they have a bunch of shirtless guys carry Steph and Johnny into a pool on a big throne/raft thing? And then the biker gang bursts in because they have nothing better to do and everyone’s screaming and throwing things it’s very chaotic. The continuity errors in this scene are absolutely outrageous. Then Michael shows up out of nowhere and Johnny literally quivers when he sees him (yeah he’s straight) and he singlehandedly kicks out all those hardened criminals. Then there’s a very long and awkward moment where they initiate Michael into the T-Birds even though school is basically over at this point and then Steph and Michael make out. One of my most hated scene tropes in movies, the very intimate confession and make out in the middle of a crowd. And then finally we have the last song of the movie in which Steph and Michael start off with a duet and their voices sound terrible together (it’s a sign and I refuse to believe otherwise) and then everyone else joins in and they try way too hard to tie up all the character’s storylines even though as the audience you weren’t really all that invested in greaser number three and pink lady number three’s sex life and most of these things didn’t really need to be sung out loud they were pretty minor parts of the movie. And oh, okay, everyone now ends up in a relationship even Paulette’s younger sister who I thought was in like, middle school but now I guess she’s dating the dumb guy from the T-Birds but they’re all seniors?? Okay…yeah, the ending fucking sucks it’s the worst part. The song is long and boring, and the choreography is bad but then they recap a bunch of the better songs during the credits and it’s all fine again!

Overall, the movie isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve heard other people say, I’ve seen much worse. And the thing is, the bad parts are kinda what makes it great in the first place. It’s kind of like when they made mean girls 2. It’s not really a sequel because non of the actually important characters are in it (except for Frenchy but she’s only there for like 10 minutes tops). It’s a cash grab but not the worst one. The songs are fun, and the characters are pretty fucking funny if you ignore how weird it is that they’re all like 30. I’d say watch it if it’s free to stream, don’t rent it. I probably get more out of it than a normal sane person because I read into character’s and their emotional connections way too much I basically am rewriting it in my head. I doubt anyone would be interested but I definitely broke down all the characters and their motivations and tried to figure out their actions, also known as me trying to create queer characters off of very unstable reasoning. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, the people in this movie are pretty hot and most of the songs kinda slap so even if the plot is questionable other things make up for it.

As of now this movie is available for streaming on Amazon prime.

Final Verdict:

On my scale 7/10

Actual good movie scale 4/10

#grease #grease 2 #movie review

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gold-and-rubies · 4 years ago

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In It For The Long Haul - Chapter 2

I’m going to be posting these twice a day until I catch up. This is in MacCready’s POV. Warnings for violence and language.

MacCready sighed inwardly. Winlock and Barnes had tracked him down in an attempt to harass him out of the Commonwealth… again. He would not give in to them; he had too much on the line. He was just getting really tired of this.

“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you in a dump like this, MacCready,” Winlock said far too smugly for MacCready’s liking. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a girl slip into the room behind them. Great, he thought, I’m gonna lose another fucking job to these assholes.

“I was wonderin’ how long it would take your bloodhounds to track me down, Winlock. It’s been almost three months… don’t tell me you're getting rusty,” MacCready said nonchalantly, “Should we take this outside?”

“It ain’t like that I’m just here to deliver a message,” Winlock said. MacCready narrowed his eyes at that.

“In case you forgot I left the Gunners for good.”

“Yeah, I heard, but you’re still taking jobs in the Commonwealth. That isn’t going to work for us.”

MacCready was quickly losing his patience. They were getting on his last nerves, so he tried to get on theirs, “In case you forgot, I don’t take orders from you… not anymore. So why don’t you take your girlfriend, and walk out of here while you still can.”

That managed to rile Barnes up, who had otherwise been silent the whole time. “What?! Winlock, tell me we don’t have to listen to this shit,” he said angrily.

Winlock’s attitude changed from smug to pissed. “Listen up, MacCready,” he said threateningly, “the only reason we haven’t filled your body full of bullets is that we don’t want a war with Goodneighbor. See, we respect other people’s boundaries… we know how to play the game. It’s something you never learned.”

“Glad to have disappointed you,” MacCready said sarcastically.

Winlock scoffed, “You can play the tough guy all you want. But if we hear you’re still operating in Gunner territory all bets are off.”

“You finished?”

“Yeah… we’re finished. Come on, Barnes.”

As they left the room the girl, who MacCready had almost forgotten about, watched them warily. MacCready eyed her. Although she was not wearing the trademark jumpsuit, everything about her screamed vault dweller. From the nervous look on her face to the pip-boy strapped to her arm. From what he could see she lacked any real scars, and the damage she had was recent. She was also paler than almost anyone he had ever seen showing a lack of sun exposure. Her chin length red hair was neater than the average wastelander. Although her short height did not help her look older, she had to be somewhere around his own age, making her lack of scars all the more telling. He wondered what could drive her from her vault to look for help in a bar. The only one he heard of in the Commonwealth that still had people in it was 81. The vault that apparently had no experiment.

“Look lady,” he said, bringing her attention to him, “if you’re preachin’ about the Atom, or lookin’ for a friend, you’ve got the wrong guy. If you need a hired gun… then maybe we can talk.”

“It’s a good thing I do then… but who were they?”

Her voice caught him off guard. It was far lower and slightly raspier than he had been expecting, and even more shocking to him, it practically oozed confidence.

“Just some moron Gunners. Idiots couldn’t hit a squirrel with a rocket launcher. Nothin’ you need to worry about. What about you? How do I know takin’ your offer won’t come back to bite me?”

She did not answer his question. Instead she asked, “Do you take long term jobs?”

The longer she stood there the more intrigued he became. What the hell is she planning? He replied, “Depends. How long the job is, compensation, and what the job is all matter.” He tried to not be too picky about jobs, but some were not worth it. Especially the longer ones.

She nodded, “I… I lead a rather dangerous life. I need someone who can watch my back, and is willing to go take down raiders, Gunners, and anything else I’m sent to take care of. I’m also… I guess you could say new to the area, so I don’t really know my way around.”

Although it was nice to know what he was going to have to do, her description of the job just raised more questions. Was she also a mercenary? Who was sending her to do this stuff? Who was she?

She continued, “As for compensation… I’ll pay for all your ammo, food, water, alcohol when clean water isn’t available, and medical supplies. Any loot we find and payment we receive will be split equally. Along with any initial payment you request.”

The more she talked the more confused he became. So far it was a hell of an offer, but he wanted to know why she wanted his help so badly. The way she spoke also confused him. The way she worded things made her sound like some pre-war holotapes he had found once.

“As for time… I don’t know how long the job will last, just that it will be a long time. You can leave whenever you want though,” she finished.

This was probably the best offer he had ever gotten. He normally did not try to care about the boss’s personal life or who they were, as long as they were not a raider boss. He had some standards. This girl though was just so damn enigmatic, too much for his liking.

“That’s a heck of an offer, but I’ve gotta make sure it’s not too good to be true, so I’ve gotta ask. Who are you exactly?”

Her back straightened, shoulders went back, and she held her a head a little higher. A pose of confidence. “Claudia Flynn. General of the Minutemen… and survivor of Vault 111.”

He had assumed she was a vault dweller from the get go, so that did not surprise him. He did not recognize the number, though, which concerned him a little if he was being honest. Dwellers could be down right insane at times. He decided not to ask about it. Instead he focused on the fact that she claimed to be the general of the Minutemen.

“Minutemen? I thought you guys were destroyed in Quincy.”

“We’re rebuilding,” she said simply.

“But what’s the general doin’ hiring a merc?”

“There aren’t very many of us right now, and I want to help as much as possible, but I’m sure you know it isn’t exactly safe to travel alone. I will also have to… deal with more… personal matters. I don’t want to use Minutemen resources where they aren’t needed. Especially now,” she explained.

That was the first time she had said something that actually answered more questions than created them, although the "personal matters" were cause for some. He mulled over all the information or a moment. He'd taken far, far worse jobs. He’d be crazy to not act on the offer, even if it meant being more altruistic than he was used to. If she wanted to spend all her caps on him, who was he to say no? Besides if she really was the general of the Minutemen it would be a great way to get back at the Gunners for harassing him so damn much. And maybe, just maybe he could get her to…. He cleared the thought from his head before it gave him too much hope.

“Alright, hotshot. Sounds like a good deal, so if you pay the hiring price, you’ve got a new gun on your side.”

“How much?”

“Two-hundred fifty caps. No room for bargainin’.”

“Fair enough,” she said before setting her pack down on one of the ratty couches. She produced three leather pouches, two larger and one smaller. As she handed them over she said, “One hundred each in the bigger ones. Fifty in the smaller one.”

He held the bags in his hands for a moment, and looked at her before saying, “You just bought yourself an extra gun. Where to first boss?”

She started fiddling with her pip-boy before she said anything. He had always wondered just how useful those things were. She held out her arm when she was done, so he could see the map depicted on the small screen.

“We need to get to here,” she said, indicating the marker on the coast, “Can you get us there?”

“Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Alright,” she said. A look of determination and confidence took over her face. “Is there a hotel or something here? We should rest before we head out.”

He was taken aback by her liberal uses of "we" and "us." Usually there was a strict dichotomy of "you" and "me." Maybe it was just the Minuteman in her.

“There’s the Hotel Rexford. Not great, but it beats sleeping on the street by a long shot.”

“Then we’ll stay there for the night, and head out in the morning.”

“Whatever you say boss,” he said. He tried to hide his excitement, but it had been a while since he had slept somewhere other than the back room of the Third Rail for a while. He was eager to see his new boss act on her promise of free boarding.

***

The next morning he met his boss in the lobby of the hotel. She had paid for two separate rooms, allowing him to have more privacy than he had had in a while. He used it to sleep as peacefully as one could in Goodneighbor.

He walked up to her as she messed with her pip-boy. Now that he could see her in proper lighting, instead of the neon red at the bar, it was even more apparent she was not some random wastelander. Her face, neck and hands had minimal grime on them. She had a few blemishes here and there, but they were hardly noticeable. She lacked the gauntness and weariness that everyone seemed to have. She was so focused on what she was doing that she did not seem to notice him until he said something.

“Boss,” he greeted.

“Hm? Oh MacCready!” she said, finally looking up from her arm.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about me,” he joked. Well, he hoped it came across a joke. When it came down to it he did not care whether his bosses liked him or not, but it certainly did not hurt if they did.

Luckily for him, she smiled. He tried not to stare, but he could not help it. They were not perfect by any means, but she had the straightest, whitest teeth he had ever seen.

He knew that vaults could be some of the most terrifying places in the world. Having grown up just outside of Vault 87 solidified that knowledge. But he wondered what could have driven her away from her own. She looked healthier than anyone he had seen, so there must have been some sort of luxury there.

Her voice shook him from his thoughts, “Ready to go?”

“Whenever you are, boss.”

As they made their way through Goodneighbor she asked, “Do you want to stock up on anything before we leave?”

He did not hesitate to take her up on her offer. "Could always use more ammo."

"Anything else?" she asked, friendlier than he was used to and that he liked.

Must be the first time she's ever hired a merc, he thought to himself. Her friendliness was better than the way he has been treated by other people, but he had found that when people you did not know well were this nice to you they were up to no good. Then again who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Nothing else that I can get here," he said.

"What kind of ammo do you use?"

".308."

He watched her as she walked up to trade with KL-E-0. The boss had a funny look on her face when she introduced herself. When she was done with the trade she handed him one of the boxes of ammo. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"How many caps do you have?" he half whispered. Bullets were not cheap.

"Doesn't matter. Besides I didn't just pay with caps. Threw some .38s in there too."

He decided not to press the matter further. If she was loaded and knew how to barter, he was not going to complain.

When they finally left Goodneighbor he took point, remembering part of his job was guiding her through the ruins. It felt odd taking point, since he was a sniper. He was used to hanging back, not leading the charge.

It was not long before they encountered a small pack of mongrels. Normally he would just try to skirt around them, not wanting to waste his ammunition on them, but that was not the case this time. His strong suit was long range, but he was still decent in close quarters. The boss on the other hand seemed to have no issue fighting so close. She took them down quickly and easily, despite the frown she wore as she did so. MacCready was not an easy person to impress, but she got pretty damn close.

He led them to the docks. He hated the ocean, but it was safer to travel along the water than to try to navigate the city.

They were quiet as they walked. Realization struck him. He had no idea what they were up to.

“So, why exactly are we heading to South Boston?” he asked. It was common knowledge that there was nothing but trouble there. It did not help that the only settlement that was there had been rumored to be wiped out by institute synths. When it came to threats, he took them very seriously, no matter how far fetched it seemed. He had learned that the hard way.

“I… I didn’t tell you, did I?” She sighed in frustration, seemingly towards herself, “We’re heading to what… my second in command called The Castle. Apparently it used to be the old headquarters. We’re going to take it back.”

He simply nodded. He noticed how her voice kept trailing off, like she was unsure or lost in thought. He tried to not put too much thought into it. It was best to not to get too invested in who the boss was. No matter how interesting a person they seemed to be. All he needed was the basic information to make sure he was not risking too much.

When they got to the end of the dock she stopped, and stared into the distance. She checked her pip-boy, then turned to MacCready, and asked, “Can I borrow your binoculars?”

“Sure, boss,” he said, handing them over.

When she was done she handed them back and pointed towards a squat, grey building, barely visible in the mist. She said, “You see that, in the distance?”

“Yeah,” he said, holding the binoculars up to his own eyes.

“Pretty sure that’s where we need to go,” she said.

They weaved their way through the buildings. Here following the water line would take too much time, and he had heard rumors of ferals infesting the factories in the area. They managed to avoid the raider camps. Their spotlights acted more like beacons, signaling to stay away.

He stopped in his tracks when a horrendous smell hit his nose. It was the smell of decaying flesh that had been sitting in the sun. He signaled to the boss to stop. She gave him a quizzical look as he brought up his rifle. He looked through the scope, and found the source of the smell. Super mutants, and their disgusting bags of meat.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in a low voice.

“Super mutants.”

“What’s a super mutant?”

He turned to look at her like she had just insisted the sky was neon pink. “What the fu- what do you mean, ‘what’s a super mutant?’” he asked. He knew vault dwellers were sheltered, literally, but surely they knew a super mutant was.

“I mean that I don’t know what it is,” she explained.

“How do you not know what they are?”

"No one's told me," she shrugged.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Her friendliness had been one thing, not knowing basic knowledge was another. He began to wonder just how naive she was. He reminded himself of all the benefits of the job before he said anything else.

“They’re big, green, dumb, and ugly. And very dangerous,” he explained he sounded harsher than he had intended, but he did not care at the moment.

“That’s what they’re called?” she gasped.

Ok, so she isn’t totally fucking clueless, he thought. MacCready could be surprisingly patient, he was a sniper after all. The majority of his time spent sniping was waiting. But he had very little patience when it came to a lack of basic knowledge. For adults anyhow. He could understand a five-year-old not knowing everything about the wastes, children required patience, but an adult? Even if she was a vault dweller he felt like she should know the very basics. Fuck, am I in for a long ride, he thought.

He looked around them for a route that would not bring them too close to the mutants. He spotted a path that strayed away from them, but would wind up bringing them awfully close to a raider camp. He would rather deal with raiders than mutants any day.

“Follow me,” he whispered, “we’re gonna have to deal with some raiders, but it’ll be an easier fight.”

“Don’t need to convince me,” she said.

Together they quietly made their way closer and closer to the raider camp. It was still early in the day, but the raiders were already drunk and high off their asses. Better for them.

Just as he had suspected they noticed them, but before they could do anything the boss reacted like lightning.

“Cover me!” she ordered over her shoulder. She shot down one raider before she slammed the butt of her gun into the next one’s face. She ducked and dodged the one with a switchblade. The two of them took down the camp in no time. The fight against the mongrels had been one thing, the way she handled the raiders was something else.

He watched her as she patted down their bodies looking for loot. She handed him exactly half of the caps, stimpaks, and radiation medications she found.

“You weren’t fu-kidding about splitting everything equally,” he laughed.

“I mean what I say,” she shrugged, “let’s get going if there’s nothing you want.”

“Let’s get goin’ then, boss,” he said, leading the way.

When they got to the road that led right up to The Castle a man standing outside an old diner on the side called to the boss.

“General Flynn! Over here!” he called.

“Hey, Garvey!” she called back as she walked toward the diner.

Inside they were greeted by three more people. The man who had greeted the boss, Garvey, said, “Everyone’s here, General.”

He fought himself to keep his mouth shut. They were only going to attack this place with six people? Were they joking?

”This is Scott McNiall, Serena Martinelli, and Leon Whittle,” Garvey said introducing them, “Everyone this is General Claudia Flynn, and…”

“This is MacCready, he’s a mercenary I hired along the way. I don’t want to spread resources too thin,” she said.

“I see,” he responded, clearly not particularly happy about the decision, but he did not say anything more about it. Instead he turned around towards the stone building.

“Impressive isn’t it? It’s real name is Fort Independence, but the Minutemen always just called it the Castle. Now you can see why I wanted to take it back.”

“Definitely. For a six hundred year old, Revolutionary era fort, it’s in pretty good shape.”

How does she know what this place is? MacCready thought. He tuned back into the conversation just in time for him to hear the boss decide on a plan.

“Let’s split up and flank them.”

“Alright then. Let’s go. Try not to draw their attention until we’re in position.”

As they took their positions the boss turned to him. She asked, “So, what do you think?”

MacCready raised an eyebrow at her. A boss had never asked what his thoughts were on the job. He usually had to interject if he wanted them to know what he thought. The most anyone ever really asked was if he could do the job.

“Why do you care?”

“Uhh… because you’re a person? A person I’m asking to fight with me?” she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You aren’t asking me to fight, you’re paying me to fight,” he corrected.

“Still a person. And given that we’re going to be traveling together, I need to make sure you’re doing alright. Can’t do your job if you aren’t focused.”

He sighed, “Fine. Even though this place could use some work, it’s a pretty good lookin’ stronghold. Better in the hands of the Minutemen, than raiders or Gunners. Anything else you wanted?”

He winced internally. He had not meant to sound that harsh.

She rolled her eyes, and shook her head with an incredulous smile. He was surprised that she took it so well.

They settled into their positions. MacCready, the boss, and Garvey took the main gate, while the other three waited for a signal. Once the fighting began, it did not take very long. Mirelurks had tough shells, but with good enough aim and some distance they were ridiculously easy to take care of. When all that was left in the courtyard was their eggs, the group headed in.

“Ya know, it would have been nice to know how big those things are,” the boss said.

“Crabs weren’t that big?” Garvey asked, a little shocked.

She shook her head no.

Before he could ask what that meant, he changed the subject, “Damn. Looks like they’ve been nesting.”

McNiall chimed in, “‘Lurks like to hide in old buildings. Walls are probably full of ‘em.”

The boss nodded thoughtfully. She looked at the group before turning to MacCready, and asking, “You any good with a pistol?”

“Better with my rifle, but yeah. Why?”

“MacCready, Major Garvey, and I will clear out the walls. The rest of you take care of the nests and any remaining Mirelurks,” she said handing him her pistol. Her orders were met with a chorus of ‘yes ma'ams’.

She took her shotgun from it’s handmade holster on her back, and headed towards the building. The two men followed closely behind. Lucky for them it was mostly softshells and hatchlings inside the walls. They were easier to take down than the average mirelurk. When they reached the old general’s quarters they were not only met with what ended up being a face full of mirelurk slime, but also a missile launcher.

MacCready let out a low wolf whistle as she picked it up.

“Now look at this beauty,” he said.

She looked at Garvey with confusion. “How did they lose this place when they had this thing, and all these missiles?”

“Beats me. Like I said. They lost this place before my time.”

Just then the ground shook with a loud rumbling. The Minutemen outside started yelling.

“The hell…” she wondered out loud.

One of the Minutemen yelled for them to come see whatever was causing the chaos, and the boss took off like a rocket, missile launcher in hand. He and Garvey quickly followed suit. MacCready grabbed some extra missiles before leaving, just to be safe.

Outside they were met by what could only be a mirelurk queen rising out of the water and over the rubble. He had never seen one before, but he had heard about them. It was one of the most terrifying things he had ever seen, and that was saying something. It was only slightly shorter than the intact walls of the fort. It made a god awful clicking noise as acid spewed from its mouth. He was almost completely paralyzed with fear, though he would never admit it.

The boss on the other hand had more resolve. She shouted at everyone to get out of the way as she took aim with the launcher. The first missile did decent damage, it only caused the monster of a creature to recoil. The second missile caused it to go careening back into the water where it came from.

He looked at her in amazement as the others whooped and hollered around them. She stood there with a fire in her eyes as she spoke to them. It took a lot to impress him, but this certainly did the trick. After a show like that he was more willing to put up with her lack of knowledge of the world. Not many people could hold their own in a fight like that, and traveling with someone like that was worth most downsides, even if that downside meant there was a long road ahead.

Chapter 1 Read it on ao3

#violence warning #language warning #fallout #fanfiction #fanfic #fallout 4 #maccready #fo4 #sole survivor #minutemen #claudia flynn

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

Text

November 8: 1x22 Space Seed

I’m really tired right now for some reason... I mean it’s definitely the hour a normal person would start to feel sleepy (or already be asleep) but not me lol. I probably didn’t pay enough attention to this episode, which is a shame because it’s a good one, but I tried.

That’s a weird opening shot, from the back of the bridge. It makes the space look really small.

Uhura reading Morse Code!

“An emotional Earth weakness of mine”

I can’t believe Kirk and Spock are having a nerd competition.

The 1990s!

“Or an old earth ship being used by aliens”--this is such a cool idea!! That should have been a story line at some point.

I love when they find old space stuff.

Great shot of the two ships together--the Enterprise is so beautiful!

“The records from that era are fragmentary.”

Kirk hearing Spock and Bones banter: “uh this is great and all but we have stuff to do.”

Kirk hates that there’s a historian on board like ugh, useless historian.

Bones and his hatred of transporters again. “This gadget.”

“You’re an old-fashioned boy, McCoy.”

Scotty’s nerding out about the old ship.

2018!! They had to use cryo sleep before 2018! We were supposed to have warp by now, I’m so cheated.

I can’t believe no one knows what the Botany Bay is a reference too; don’t you know your history at all, nerds?

Then they just push a random button and wake some guy up!

McGivers isn’t paying the slightest bit of attention. This is probably why Kirk doesn’t like her.

Guess the casting department in 2012 didn’t get the part about “Northern India.” Must have thought they said “whitest part of England.”

And after all that work, traveling all that time and space, he’s almost killed by some dust.

McGivers is really distracted by his hotness I guess.

When Kirk needs to think, he goes to stand by Spock. Who happens to be bending over whatever.

Finally someone remembers the Botany Bay!

Earth was on the verge of a dark age...that’s actually pretty true.

Spock is wrong about a lot of things today.

Kirk’s not even mad or frustrated by Spock’s whole ‘I have no emotions, I don’t know what irritation is” thing. He just loves him so much and accepts this about him completely.

“I’m good but I’m not that good.” Oh Bones, yes you are.

Kirk sharing his opinions on men with McGivers. Yet again the gender dynamics in this show are... a thing. But I’m zeroing in on bi!Kirk anyway lol.

“A fair psychologist? Bones, come on--I’d be great.”

“Well either choke me or cute my throat, but make up your mind.” McCoy is the BEST. So brave.

Kirk isn’t fooled at all by this “I’m tired” crap. Tired? I thought you were a superman.

I find Khan fairly annoying but I do admit he has a certain gravitas...

The events of 1993... only 90′s kids would understand.

I feel like Kirk’s hand is sitting all the way over there just begging to be held by Spock.

So the 80-90 escapees weren’t even everybody?? How many supermen did they create?

McGivers is an interesting character but she makes me really uncomfortable.

Khan did a really bad job styling her hair lol. He just pulled out a few strands of her hair and then said he was done. Also I don’t know what she’s talking about, that hairstyle is not “comfortable.” (A man wrote this.)

Lol where did Khan find those clothes?

Spock comes to formal dinner, ready to start shit.

Ironic that Spock is so against the idea of a singular ruler for all of Earth when every last person on his planet follows the same quasi-religion/philosophy.

“You have a tendency to express ideas in military terms, Mr. Khan.”

This scene with McGivers and Khan has more intrigue and tension than ALL of STID. He makes STID!Khan look like a little boy. That version was always declaring his strength, but this one just projects strength. The way he manipulates McGivers is so succinct and so creepy and so effective.

Absolute ruler from 1992-1996.

It’s weird how so much of this episode seemed to be allegedly built on this “who is this person” mystery but like....did anyone ever NOT guess he was one of the strongmen they keep referring to?

Spock does not like the romanticization of dictators.

Kirk is so strong, too, though. His demeanor is really powerful. Another mistake of STID was pitting such a young Kirk against Khan. There’s no interest in that.

“They’ve thrown away their own worthless vessel.” Someone’s angry that the Enterprise got stolen from him--again.

Plus side, he gets to dramatically give commendations while struggling for air.

This fool trying to give Uhura orders lmao nice try.

This is such a classic super-villain error: “oh I am so confident he must be dead, I’m not even going to check.”

McGivers wants to play both sides.

I can’t believe that for all that, Khan was defeated by a bit of plastic.

“I’ve regained control of the Enterprise, nbd, now time for the actual hard stuff.”

Of course Kirk has not only read Milton, he IMMEDIATELY know exactly what part of Paradise Lost Khan is referring to.

The ending of this ep is, of course, classic... Truly wild. I mean weirdly I remember it as like a compromise, kinda, like Kirk shows mercy at the same time as he exiles Khan to a barely habitable planet, but actually in the context of just this ep--kinda seems like Khan got what he wanted. Like he didn’t get a population to control, but he was set free on a planet all his own to conquer so...

I mean obviously it went badly but still.

Weirdly, I remembered some stuff wrong about this ep. I thought that the Botany Bay criminals were exiled on purpose, probably because of the name of the ship, but the ep implies that actually they escaped and went off on their own, on purpose. What with the “unaccounted for” language and Khan as the leader.

Also, I remembered criticizing STID for stating that the other criminals were Khan’s friends, even as close as family, when really what I remembered from Space Seed was that all the supermen were out for themselves. But he does go through the effort of waking them and so on. That said, I don’t think they’re friends. I think the others are useful to Khan, and he’ll keep them around as long as they’re useful and deferential to him. I think he wouldn’t hesitate to kill any of them if they stepped out of line.

Anyway. I am so exhausted right now. I wish I’d been more... into and aware of this ep tbh. Next up is A Taste of Armageddon, which I remember being a very good ep.

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

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