#this is the tip of the iceberg for real i really do think it's their movie

[waywardted]

Believing in rom-communism is all about believing that everything is going to work out in the end... Now, it may not work out how you think it will, or how you hope it does, but, believe me, it will all work out.

[mechadria]

she's not "giving up love" or anything of the sort btw she'd be giving up polite society and connections to anyone in the ton, possible even her family.

colin talks this big talk of her trying to 'entrap' him because she didn't think to blurt out she was lady whistledown in the minutes between him chasing down her carriage, confessing his feelings, fingerfucking her, deciding they were marrying and going to announce it, but that was literally entrapment, whether he realises it or not (and i rather think he does).

if anyone had seen them get into or out of that carriage alone, penelope would have been RUINED. compromised for society. she would have been forced to marry him (which would only somewhat repair her standing) or retire from polite society for the REST OF HER LIFE (or be constantly slighted, insulted and avoided). it does not matter whether they'd had awkward talk or full on unprotected sex for an hour straight, she would have suffered the same consequences.

and she would have suffered these very same consequences had they called off the marriage. this is not a world where you say who broke up with who. or even a world where you say why. the Entire Ton would have decided that Penelope had tried to entrap and seduce a Bridgerton and he just found a way out. again, she would have been ruined and shunned from London. she would have been stuck leaving the people she knew and loved or staying in her mother's house, being mocked and disregarded ten times worse than ever before, with no prospects except maybe a disgusting old drunk (because that's what women who had rumours about their virginity fucking got).

and then, that's without even considering the fact that they'd had sex, and Colin isn't a fucking moron. he Knows there is a possibility that penelope is pregnant - that's why they hurry the wedding up, both in the book and the series. so when he accuses her of entrapping him - thus threatening her with either a life of misery on his arm or a life shunned by anyone she's ever known - he knows exactly what it would do to her if they broke the engagement and she did get pregnant.

Colin Bridgerton knew exactly the extent and violence of the threat he was making to Penelope when he accused her of entrapping him - in Several fucking Ways - and he did it because his feelings were a bit hurt and he fucking knew that he did, in fact, entrap her. he was lucky that Penelope loved him back, because otherwise exiting that carriage alone with him might have ruined her life, and he did not give her or her safety or her happiness a SINGLE thought when he entered that carriage.

the books are Not well written, lmao, don't get me wrong, but the writing on this show is somehow even more abysmal. colin's behaviour in that second half of the season is violent in a way all threats, suggestions, actions and comments men make in a society so hellbent on harming women, and you're supposed to think he's romantic and in love and just having a hard time? babes, it's the 19th century equivalent of punching the wall next to your face.

#this part almost broke me #penelope was willing to let him go #she couldn’t stand the thought of forcing him to stay married to her only out of honor #the way she says “your” instead of “our” family even though he had already referred to her as now a part of their family #she didn’t want him to feel trapped #she was willing to lose the love of her life so he could be happy #but HIS FACE says everything #he is surprised and a little pained #he almost looks amazed that she would even say it #because he never truly wanted to be without her #but i think her being willing to protect him made him love her even more #don’t look at me

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

can people please stop filming the entire fucking world around them for public consumption? and especially random fucking strangers who you did not ask???

I work at a park and man the front desk. and I'm photographed and filmed a lot. I'm talking easily 20+ times per day. most of the times, it's parents filming me swearing in their kids as junior rangers. which. they're intending to film their kids. what they get is me and the back of their kids' heads.

there's this recurring problem that like. people forget we're real people? like yeah you're filming your kid, but you're filming me interacting with your kid. I could count the amount of times someone has asked me permission to do this in the past year on one hand. and sometimes that's after they already start filming.

Like, I'm not an actor. I did not agree to this. You could be a dick and make the argument that I'm a public figure, but I'm not. This is not a persona and my uniform is not a costume. I'm a person trying to do my job and help people and teach them about science and history. And you know what makes it harder to do that? The knowledge that anything I say or do could end up shared with thousands of people. The fact that if I fuck up the wording of this kid's junior ranger pledge, or I sneeze, or make some basic mistake, it's not just a funny or embarrassing moment for me and this one family. It could end up on tiktok.

And okay, those are the people intending to film their own kids and not thinking or caring about the collateral. What's worse is the people who film everything. A few times a week some guy walks into the visitor center, phone already horizontal in front of their face, narrating what they're doing and seeing. They come up to the desk and ask me questions, phone in my face. They take wide establishing shots of the visitor center and every visitor in it. None of us agreed to this! None of these people consented to be in your youtube video! We are not the fucking set dressing of whatever travel instagram story you're making!

I don't know where I'm going with this. This is really only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes people ask us to repeat what we just did - swear in their kid, or explain a detail, or hand them a fucking map - so they can get a second take, and they're already filming so if we say no we look like the asshole. Sometimes we're asked innocuous things like to point out a landmark, and next week there's a photo of us in the 15,000 member Rangers Pointing at Things facebook group (yep, real thing). One time my entire 45 minute evening program was filmed without my permission and I was informed after the fact. This happens all the time, and I'm giving park ranger examples, but this happens to so many people in service work or public positions every single fucking day.

I guess just, next time you go to film in a public space, take a second. Think about who you're about to film, if they agreed to that, what might happen if a video of them went viral. there's a reason I'm not out as trans at work. And then, maybe. don't. or at least fucking ask.

[mychapel-004]

I think the most interesting and under-explored part of gf canon is the formation of the blind eye and I'm tired of pretending it isn't: a long post

Because hear me out here, if we really take a look at the timing of the only concrete source we have (mcgucket's video diaries), it doesn't... line up at all?

The clear implication here is that he started making the diaries after the first portal incident on January 18th 1983, so this would be our "day one"

"For the past year I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher... But something went wrong. I decided to quit the project, but I lie awake each night, haunted by the thoughts of what I've done... Test subject one: Fiddleford."

But this makes no sense. We know from J3 that the memory gun was actually invented after a series of traumatic events with Ford, months before he left the project. Further, the timeline the video diaries set up of the blind eye show that he began to deteriorate and founded the blind eye on day 22, which would be February 9th, but in J3 the blind eye is already a full blown cult by then.

In addition, where is he in this video? we know from TBOB that he isn't on good terms with his wife after Christmas of 1982 and he likely didn't leave GF after the portal incident, but he was living with Ford up until this so where is this room? If he had somewhere else to stay, why only stay there now?

Now, realistically the answer here is that the lore was changed and slightly retconned between the writing of this episode and the publishing of the book (which alex discusses in some of the commentary for this episode when discussing fidd's character), but I think a more interesting theory to solve this contradiction can be found in the source material.

If we play this all completely straight, there are two options here, both involving Fiddleford lying in his diaries. this isn't entirely new to the series, unreliable narration is a big theme, especially in Journal 3 and TBOB. the only real explanations are that:

A) Fiddleford was lying about this being the first time he used the gun, meaning this video diary takes place after the portal incident.

B) Fiddleford was lying about leaving the project, and was filming these diaries while still working with Ford.

Now, either of them is plausible, but ultimately Fiddleford is a scientist. He has dedicated his life to engineering, and it seems to be his lifelong passion considering it's one of the only character traits that he continues to practice after losing his mind. Would a man who is this talented, this dedicated, really lie about testing results in a video diary he chose to make?

If he had used the gun before, any kind of result he is trying to observe would be ruined. It would be a pointless venture, since we know for a fact that by the time he leaves the project he has used the gun on himself, Ford and other civillians multiple times. It's a complete failure of the scientific method, and I don't think it makes sense for the character we know, the man who quadruple checks his own calculations just to be sure they're right.

However, the other explanation feels like something he might do. We know he invents the gun after the Gremloblin incident likely sometime in August, and seems to use it immediately as evidenced by J3, on both himself and Ford. We know from the audio commentary that for Fidd, the memory gun is very much an addiction, it's something that he uses to curb his anxiety and appear like a better partner, to try and keep himself together until the project is over. But ultimately, he's known something is wrong with the project for a long time, and Ford mentions his tendency towards self destructive anxiety when Fidd rips out his own hair after Ford reveals the tip of the weirdness iceberg to him.

All this to say, I think it's far more realistic for Fiddleford to lie about leaving the project rather than his results. He knows that something is wrong, that he should leave and be with his family, and on the other side of that we know that Bill is using this anxiety to whisper into Ford's ear that Fidd is unreliable and will leave. He's been through a severely traumatic event with the Gremloblin, trapped for days in his worst nightmares, to the point where he is prepared to cause himself potential brain damage to un-see it.

But despite all of it, he doesn't leave. He is determined to stay, maybe out of loyalty, maybe out of fear for Ford's safety, maybe he needs the money from the project for his family. He has a wife and son who need him and we know that he feels guilt for his treatment towards them, he even cites them as his sole reason for backing out of using the gun immediately before he does it anyway, and uses it on Ford to cover his mistakes up. Fiddleford is a man who is wracked by anxiety and shame and is such a bad way by this point that he is absolutely willing to self-destruct and lie to just get through this project.

I think he absolutely would start documenting his use of the memory gun, even if that meant lying that he had followed his instincts and left the project when he should have done. After all, he says himself that he wants to use this gun on a wider scale as a therapy tool, assuming the gun doesn't turn his brain to mush, surely the tapes of his initial testing will need to be peer-reviewed? He's presenting the reality he wishes was true, the one where he is brave and stands on his principles and doesn't fall into step beside Ford on his path to destruction.

So, where does this leave the timeline?

Finding exact dates is difficult, mostly because the only concrete numbers in J3 are few and far between, but we do have the dates of the tapes to go off as follows. This isn't concrete but it's a fun way to recontextualise the events of J3:

Day 1:

First usage of the gun, followed by it being used on Ford

Sometime after the Gremloblin incident, Fidd's arm is either healed or on the mend from the incident as his cast is gone, so likely towards the end of August.

Note on the cast: It could also be gone as a result of him removing it too early, he doesn't seem to take a lot of time to recover from the incident before he gets back to work in fear of disappointing Ford.

The room he is in is likely his bedroom in the Shack, or whatever location he initially uses to form the blind eye, maybe a room in the museum? The "probability of failure" graph in the back is the same one that he shows Ford the night before the Portal test, albeit a bigger version, meaning he has likely been tracking the output results for a while.

Day 5:

Still exhibiting postive results, no deterioration yet.

Day 22:

First signs of mental deterioration

First mention of the blind eye, Fidd draws the symbol onto a notebook but it is already scribbled in the background over a diagram of the portal. The blind eye symbol is first mentioned in J3, when Fidd hands it to the carny who becomes the eventual leader of the cult, so this diary likely takes place after he has begun using it on other people.

Official formation of the blind eye as a group to help people forget traumatic memories.

His room in the shack is in a state of disarray, his plants are dead and there are handprints in oil or ink on the walls. Notably, he seems to be connecting the idea of a single eye and the portal despite not being aware of Bill at this point, which I'll touch upon later.

The carnival is likely in September according to the timeline by @fordtato

Day 74:

Slight physical deterioration, more physical anxiety

It seems that Fidd has been regularly using the memory gun at this point, to erase even minorly distressing images from his head, and his anxiety has taken a nosedive. Likely explanation is that this diary is after the bunker, where he had another severely traumatic experience (kidnapped by a shapeshifter and reduced to mute from anxiety) and seemed to become obsessed with doomsday planning. During the bunker arc he also used the gun on multiple workmen and Ford once again.

Likely takes place in October/November

His room is a complete mess by now, with the walls covered in papers and "Help Me" scrawled on the walls.

At this point in J3, Ford has made his deal with Bill and is allowing him to possess his body whenever he pleases. Bill has also sucessfully driven a divide between the other two by making Ford doubt that Fidd will be able to make it to the end of the project, and Ford describes his frustration with him.

According to Ford, Fidd is just as agitated and nervous before the portal test as he was during the Gremloblin attack, and obsessively checks and rechecks his calculations, causing Ford to worry for his resolve.

In between this diary and the next are the stolen pages from J3 that are in TBOB, which give us slight insight into Fiddleford during this time but not much. We see that he tries multiple times to reach out to him the only way that Fidd knows how, through invention and creation, with the snowglobe and the six-fingered gloves. Ford, however, treats them carelessly as a result of his increased attention to his muse. At the same time, he tries to visit home but is kicked out by Emma-May after he forgets to get her a Christmas gift. This is played as an example of his connection with Ford, him remembering two gifts for the man and none for his wife, but if he really is suffering from his use of the gun at this time, the forgetfulness makes even more sense and his argument with his family means he doesn't have a support system outside of Ford who is paying all of his attention to the project. After this, Fiddleford is more reclusive than ever as he spends early January compiling a thesis for Ford to publish

Day 189

Physical deterioration is in full effect and he can't hide the result of his addiction any more, even just to keep up appearances.

His arm is broken, likely due to the car accident he mentions accidentally causing, but its the same arm he broke during the Gremloblin attack and could be a result of him taking his cast off too early for it to have healed right in the first place which could explain why he wears it for so long.

Significant mental decline as he has started exhibiting signs of brain damage or swelling (decreased vocabulary, forgetfulness, loss of motor functions) however, he is seemingly lucid enough to question if the memory gun is causing negative side effects.

There are actually bottles visible in the back of the room, possbly referencing the addiction metaphor being used here

This would take place after the portal test, likely late January. Ford is at the height of his paranoia, Fiddleford has left the shack and taken every trace of his research with him except his college picture with Ford, and the blind eye is a fully established and seemingly self-governing cult.

Day 273

At this point, Fidd has relocated to a motel and is seemingly completely mentally gone, ripping out his hair and developing his hunched posture. This likely takes place after the blind eye takes his memories, or he continues erasing them himself. It's possible that the blind eye continues visiting him and taking his memories even after he is ejected as a member, or at least until they forget who he is after using the gun on themselves too many times.

It appears to be snowing outside? Which doesn't line up with either the canon timeline or this timeline, so potentially the days on the video diaries could be incorrect assuming he isn't filming them every day, or has lost so much of his mind by this point that he isn't labelling them right and has lost track of time

The final two entries are a similar story, serving only to show us the end of his decline and him eventually becoming fully homeless, retreating to the junkyard he lives in for the next 28 years (jesus, he really deserved that mansion).

Ultimately though, this timeline asks a lot of interesting character questions.

Why did Ford not realise how bad Fiddleford's decline was becoming? Maybe a mix of circumstances, he was falling deeper into his worship of Bill at the time, to the extent that he was regularly being possessed and judging by the lack of journal entries at the time, very pre-occupied. We also know that Fidd used the gun on him at least twice in canon, and possibly used it more than we know in order to convince Ford he was okay.

If Fiddleford was erasing parts of Ford's memory, did Bill know? Personally, I feel that Bill was aware but knew that ultimately it would serve him. Fiddleford, without ever encountering Bill at this point, created the blind eye symbol which is eerily close to Bill's symbolism, how would he know that when we know Ford is possessive of his muse and doesn't share anything with Fidd about it? How does Ford have visions of Fidd in a red cloak without ever knowing that the cult and Fidd are directly connected? My thoughts are that Bill, who we know has erased Ford's memory himself before when he stole the journal pages we see in TBOB, was using most of this as fodder to drive a divide between the two, mentally creating associations in both of their minds so they stop trusting the other. Chess but with troubled gay men.

All in all I think Fiddleford's decline is such an interesting way to approach a theme of addiction, particularly a high-functioning addiction. If this really is how things played out, we know that throughout his use of the gun and even 30 years later when he is considered a write-off, the one thing he maintains is his engineering prowess and his smarts. It makes sense that even when actively using the gun and hiding it from Ford he would be able to keep up in terms of building the portal, especially when we know he secretly hired workers. It's also a great example of someone drawing others into their addiction, even if it was unintentional and he didn't believe they would be hurt in the long run.

I feel like sometimes there's a lil bit of a push to see Fidd as a naive or morally good character even through his mistakes and to demonise Ford in response, but ultimately both of them are very morally grey and have their own vices that they develop and grow from.

Anyway, interested in this idea?

Well, good news if you are or my condolences if you hate it and want me dead, this is also an au I'm working on and writing at the moment! My fic link is below, the introduction is up right now and the next chapter will be coming out tomorrow with updates every few days now I've finally gotten this post out. The tag for this fic is 'Geiger counter au', hopefully I'll be able to get out some other headcanons I have for this idea because it's been floating around in my head since J3 came out.

Thank you for reading!

[starleska]

73 Yards has devastated me and i have some theories

we all agree that 73 Yards was a genre-defying, harrowing episode...and i think there's some really interesting themes and ideas going on here. tw for discussion of trauma, abuse, neglect and abandonment:

i hope we're all on the same page that the Woman seems to represent Ruby's fear of abandonment, brought to life. always present, always out of the corner of her eye, and whose primary mechanic is to drive people to scorn and leave Ruby without explanation. even people who do not know her, or people she's just met, or who are incredibly warm towards her...they speak to the Woman, and they look back as if to confirm their suspicions, and then run away, maddened and horrified. it is an unbelievable stroke of genius to make the Toymaker's breaking down of the boundaries between science and fantasy bring Ruby's abandonment into being...and for Ruby to weaponise her. but that's it - as soon as Roger ap Gwilliam was taken care of, we expected the Woman to disappear, right? but that could never happen, because Ruby's fear of abandonment will never disappear...no matter how purposeful her life is, or how much she distances herself from others. the use of the cruel, distant individuals in the Welsh pub to set up Ruby sympathetically is excellent...and then, we see people approach Ruby at all levels of emotional connection, when time and again she is considered untouchable, as if her very being is contagious. and all this time, we have the fairy circle being broken and hope vanishing...with hope being the Doctor. the one man who potentially holds the key to uncovering Ruby's deepest desires - to find out why she was abandoned, and by who. and at the end of it all...even in death, Ruby doesn't find peace. she is transported into a neverending hell-loop where she is her own abandonment. the two are inseparable, inexplicably the same, because Ruby's very existence as herself is built on the bedrock of abandonment. and i think this resonates heavily with any trauma survivor...the way that our trauma and our very real anxieties brought on by that trauma are inextricable from ourselves. i think the plot with Roger ap Gwilliam shows off a very real symptom in trauma survivors: we often daydream that our hurt and pain will be useful one day - functional. and not only does Ruby get to do that...she gets to be the quiet, unsung saviour of the whole world, protecting us from a world-ending terror in spite of the abuse and neglect she's faced. she endures menial work and constant fear, while only confiding quietly in one other person...Marti, who i believe is coded as another trauma survivor due to her response to Roger (who she describes as a monster). if Ruby can't receive love and affection from anyone else, at least she can feel satisfied that she served her purpose. on a practical level, the presence of Mrs Flood and Susan Twist in this episode AGAIN gives me pause. my theory that someone here is another of the Toymaker's Legions, and is the embodiment of Story, has only deepened. the fact that we had a cold open without the title sequence, we met Susan Twist very quickly, we seem to have flipped genres for the show and Ruby was able to embark on a self-destructive wish-fulfilment saviour fantasy in real life...it all indicates to me that the boundaries between reality and fiction are fully collapsing. when Kate says things are trending towards the supernatural lately, i think we've only hit the tip of the iceberg. on a broader level: my God Russell T Davies, what a brilliant script!!! this is one of my favourite ever episodes of Doctor Who, and is absolutely my highlight for the season. huge kudos to Millie Gibson for giving such a killer performance...i am now terribly endeared to, and protective, of Ruby, and hope against hope she gets the happy ending she so deserves 💖

[divasae]

yandere male manipulator x reader

desc: manipulation, dubious consent, intoxication, sleazy best friend, male yandere, etc.

note: may or may not have realized that the beginning sounds like the start of an essay halfway through but it gets better later TRUST.

word count: 1.2k♡

We can often classify a typical “yandere” into two categories in both fiction and the real world. There’s the yandere that will unabashedly control your life as if they were a puppeteer, hoping the person they dote on will adjust to their needs. Well, there’s about a 50/50 chance this could work in favor of the yandere, depending on the person's mindset.

However, the success rate for the second type of yandere would arguably be significantly higher, due to the sneaky nature of this type of yandere. These are the type of yandere that will conceal their every move, while actively manipulating you to bring you closer to them. This manipulative behavior can stem from financially abusing you to even cutting off close relatives in your life who can see through their facade. 

The reason why their success rate is much higher is due to their skill in manipulating and gaslighting individuals, making them very conniving and shady. However, they tend to be charming as well, keeping a smile on their face while actively engaging in destructive activities that will tend to affect you. 

Unfortunately for you, this was the category a certain admirer of yours happened to fall into as well. He was a very close friend of yours, in fact! You were just such a naive person, practically letting just about anyone into your life, with no warning radars blaring off in your head. When he would place his hands on your shoulder, you wouldn’t even think anything of it! Well, a hand on your friend's shoulder is a pretty normal thing, is it not? What was not normal however was that leering gaze he had while looking at your body, as well as that roaming hand that seemed to be getting a bit too bold as it traveled further below your back. 

Indeed, he was quite a sloppy yandere, but it worked in his favor that you were just so unsuspecting, and so unaware of your surroundings. Well, fear not, he was here to protect you from the sleazy guys that eyed you (never mind him, that's different). However, he knew from the start that you weren’t going to fall into his arms just like that. You were so horrible to him really, giving the most unworthy men a chance, while completely sidelining him. It bruised his ego substantially, but he knew how to get you to come his way. 

You were just so stupid, it made the chase as easy as a cakewalk. All it took was a few drinks at a party for you to stumble into a room and get on top of him. It may seem underwhelming, when there was all that buildup about him being a manipulative yandere, only to do that. Well, he’s quite used to getting underestimated, but unfortunately for you, that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

As you dozed off while clinging onto him, he carefully took your hand off of him, to disappear into the night, leaving you to rest. He felt like a madman just leaving you there, after getting exactly what he had wanted. He wanted to ravish you over and over again so badly, but there was a process to everything, and he needed to stick to it.

When he woke up the next day, he immediately felt giddy all over, just calculating what exact moment he should call you. Once you had picked up his call, he listened to your sobs as you recounted last night, with no clue of who you had slept with. With no shame, he immediately began to say it would be all okay, and how he didn’t even have the slightest hunch, or else he would have stopped you. He consoled you with a sweet voice, saying he should have kept a more watchful eye on you, and that he’d never let it happen again. 

It was only natural for you to be so upset. Despite what it seemed, you were quite inexperienced and considered sleeping with someone to be a sacred act of love. It was so sappy honestly, it could give him a toothache. But he knew exactly how he could twist it to his own advantage. With that, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he cunningly consoled you for what he had caused. 

So you trusted him. You trusted the very guy that got the both of you drunk with the intention to sleep with you. They say that the shame would be on the trickster for tricking you once, but the next time they do it, the shame would be on you for being so gullible. Oh, it played out almost exactly how it did last time. However, you would be in for a sweet surprise once you went back to your own house. 

This time, he made sure to take snapshots of your body, littered with his love bites and grip marks at your waist. As he printed out the photos to leave at your doorstep, he laughed to himself as he thought of how you would react. To say you were terrified was an understatement. The very first thing you did was call your friend in tears, distressed about the nature of these pictures, as well as the person’s intentions. 

He consoled you even further, wiping your tears with his thumb and saying it would all be okay. Oh, if only you had taken a second to take in a good look at his face. He was saying one thing with his mouth, but his facial expressions were saying another thing entirely. He was in glee as you cried into his arms, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. 

Perhaps it was how he was there during your very worst, that made you start to see him in a different light. He was so caring, so engaged with your life, to the point where he would know exactly who in your social circle was not good for you. He even moved in with you when you felt paranoid, and comforted you in the wee hours of the night. 

Slowly, but surely, you did come his way. As he made you cut off absolute nuisances in your life that tried to get in his way of making you his, you began to depend on him much more than you used to. So, when he had finally made a move, you didn’t protest this time and simply let it happen. After all, he was the only person that genuinely wished the best for you, and would never take advantage of you. 

He previously thought that the best way to make you come to him was to entrap you in a cage like you would a bird. However, if you put a bird in a cage, it will always be intent on escaping, running the moment it can seize an opportunity to escape. However, if you clipped that same bird’s wings, it would never be able to escape. You would make it solely dependent on you, as it knows it could never survive without you. 

Genshin Impact - Ayato, Tartaglia, Kaeya

JJK - Gojo, Geto

JJBA - Dio

[transvampireboyfriend]

Had this “Steve only hates impersonal nicknames” idea in my notes for a while and then after seeing @cholvoq​ ‘s wonderful art I had to turn it into a real thing for Valentine’s Day. This is 2.4k, i’m SO sorry edit: you can now read this on ao3 :)

Eddie’s a nickname guy. It’s always Dusty this and Gare-Bear that and JeffJeff here and Bobbie there and it’s Mikey and Maxxii and Nance-pants and Johnny and… big boy?

Him being a nickname guy makes it near impossible to hide his crushes. Thankfully, Steve had been really cool about it. Sure, he seemed a little stunned, but Eddie still had all his teeth in place by the end of that interaction, so he had called that a win.

He hadn’t known then that Steve was… different. Or he was starting to see it but what he thought was shocking then had really been just the tip of the iceberg. He hadn’t expected Steve to be nice. Or funny, or caring, or protective, or understanding.

He had learned all of that after everything. During chats on Hellfire nights while the kids cleaned up after themselves, during hangouts at the diner with Robin and Nancy, during Saturday afternoons when he went to pick out a movie only to end up talking with Steve, their conversation flowing until it was cut short by Steve’s shift ending.

After some time, Eddie had gotten to know Steve even more during long weekday nights when one came over to bring the other something they left behind, or to share a record, or to demand the beers the other owes or to show the other a stupid article in a stupid magazine only to end up making dinner together and watching a movie afterwards.

They stopped making excuses about two weeks ago.

Eddie had asked “do youuu… wanna come over?” on Saturday night, while nervously twirling his keys as Steve locked the front doors of the Family Video.

The evening chill had cut right through Eddie’s leather jacket as his keys clanged against his rings. But Steve had nodded with a smile and asked “pizza?” on their way to their cars, and Eddie had forgotten all about the cold.

Point being, Steve had been just fine with ‘big boy’ when it happened. Eddie’s a nickname guy. Him and Steve are hanging out more now, and so, Eddie’s been calling him more nicknames. Some of them are very intentional, others come completely without thinking, and it turns out, Steve takes issue with a few of them.

The first time it happens, Eddie’s underneath his van trying to get the damn thing to cooperate, the recent winter was tough on it, and it keeps dying out on him.

Steve sits nearby perched on a little stool, wearing his Family Video vest since he came by right after finishing his morning shift to see if they could make plans for lunch. Eddie suggested they grab something at the diner if and when he finally gets the van to start back up and Steve had agreed to wait.

He’s been telling Eddie about tonight’s basketball- game? match? super bowl? Is there such a thing as the major leagues of basketball? Eddie’s not sure, but he adores the sound of Steve’s voice and he’s kind of invested in the drama of players switching teams and retiring and whatever else Steve wants to tell him about. So, he’s been listening, not really bothering with asking for clarification for what he doesn’t understand yet. He’ll figure it out as they go.

He's blindly patting the floor around his legs for his rag, when he feels Steve put it right in his hand.

Eddie’s relieved. "Thanks, bud!" he says, the nickname just rolling off his tongue effortlessly, no meaning attached.

It gets kind of quiet all of a sudden. After about five seconds of Steve not talking, Eddie comes out to check on him, and finds him frowning at his legs.

"Don't call me ‘bud’" Steve requests, looking up at his face, his tone just a tad harsh. Eddie would think he ran into King Steve if he didn't know any better.

As it is, Eddie gets Steve probably thinks the nickname is childish or patronizing, so he doesn’t think twice of it, just gets a little sheepish and says "sorry, Stevie".

Steve smiles at that, a little cocky. He does his little mean girl shaking his head thing like he just got exactly what he wanted. Eddie feels his face twist a bit in confusion, but he likes it when Steve gets a little mean so he doesn't say anything about it and just dives back under his van as Steve resumes their conversation.

 The second time it happens, they’re outside the supermarket. The kids shot out of the van as soon as it rolled to a stop, Steve calling out a warning after them while still listening to Eddie explain why Star Wars and Star Trek are actually very different but really good in their own way. Their conversation carries on as they hop out of the van, lock up and walk to meet at the front.

“I’m telling you, Star Trek is great. You would love it,” Eddie says, “you just have to give it a chance”.

Steve rolls his eyes at him, but Eddie can see his smile.

“Ok, alright,” Steve answers, “you can show me tonight then”, it’s almost too nonchalant. Eddie has to hide his grin.

Steve’s been suggesting they hang out more and more lately, and he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful. They clearly enjoy each other’s company, their time together is never dull, Steve seems to be really comfortable around him and maybe, just maybe…

“Should we get beers then?” Eddie asks, excited at the prospect of some more time alone with him.  They haven’t had a weeknight hangout since Eddie fixed his van last week. He kinda misses the very specific color of Steve’s eyes in the Harringtons’ yellow living room lamplight.

“Yeah,” Steve says, his eyes get soft in a way Eddie only started noticing a couple of weeks back, “we can watch it at my place” he adds. Eddie thinks he definitely hasn’t seen him look at anyone else like that.

To shake himself out of the spell of the prettiest boy he’s ever met making the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen at him and ONLY him, Eddie grabs Steve by the wrist and starts marching them towards the supermarket’s front doors.

Without thinking, Eddie says "c'mon man," as they go.

Steve, who started easily following him (like he always does these days), suddenly stops in his tracks. Eddie gets pulled back and almost stumbles on top of Steve. He'd get flustered if Steve wasn't frowning at him like he’d just said the most insulting thing he’d heard this month.

"Don't call me ‘man’" Steve says. Eddie feels his eyebrows raise a bit.

He debates asking why but doesn't question Steve in the end. He’d rather offer understanding than judgement to him any day.

So, Eddie takes advantage of Steve's wrist in his hand, and squeezes there a bit, says "I'm sorry sweetheart" sincerely, looks into Steve's eyes so he can see Eddie means it.

Steve blushes a bit then, not really used to the nickname yet, Eddie just got the balls to start using it last week. Eddie himself is not really used to seeing Steve blush, and at something he says? It’s too much power for one metalhead.

But he gets distracted from Steve’s blush because it happens again, Steve basically preens like a peacock once Eddie switches nicknames. Looks smug, like he has Eddie wrapped around his finger and well, Eddie guesses he does, so, no arguments there either.

He just smiles back at Steve, really, has no other choice, it’s not like he can control how he reacts to the most gorgeous fucking face the universe could ever come up with. But he tugs him along again, Steve happily following this time.

The next time it happens, Steve’s leaning against his kitchen island, with Eddie leaning across from him against the counter.

The party is watching a movie in the Harringtons’ living room and at some point, Eddie got up to get himself another soda, Steve not so subtly followed after him, taking the empty popcorn bowls to the sink. He struck up a conversation and there they stayed.

Eddie’s been turning the small gesture around and around in his head. Clearly Steve’s not shy about seeking him out, and he’s obviously good with the party knowing, which means a hell of a lot because those are Steve’s people, that’s his family.

Eddie’s honestly running out of excuses to not ask him out. Seeing him reaching out to bump his sneaker against Eddie’s boot when he says something funny, laughing just a little too hard at Eddie’s dumb joke; seeing his eyes widen a bit when Eddie compliments him; seeing him notice when Eddie is holding back from talking too much, and not letting it go until he thinks Eddie’s shared all of his opinions on the subject; Eddie thinks maybe he can be brave, when it comes to Steve.

And this week might be the perfect time.

Here they are still, the movie long ended and several easy conversations floating from the living room to the kitchen, where they’re still engrossed on their own.

“I mean I taught the kid how to do his hair for god’s sake!” Steve is saying, Eddie’s laughing easily, and he has a slight suspicion Steve’s acting way more annoyed than he really is because he knows Eddie dies laughing every time Steve roasts the kids.

“Just, if he’s gonna give me hair advice, he should work on that goddamn tone. At the Very Least.” Steve finishes, Eddie giggling all the while at his Annoyed Mom tone.

"Yeah, dude!" Eddie agrees, wanting to egg him on, but Steve's face suddenly falls and whatever remark Eddie had locked and loaded just fades away.

Eddie blinks perplexed; he’s getting déjà vu.

Steve frowns at him, says "Don't call me ‘dude’".

It’s eerie, only he sounds a bit annoyed this time.

Eddie thinks, maybe someone called Steve ‘dude’ before in an unpleasant way, so he doesn't pry.  Instead, he takes the chance to call him a nickname he likes more, and says "Sorry, pretty boy", his heart fluttering in the milliseconds he has to wait for Steve’s reaction.

And it happens one last time: Steve absolutely beams at that one, his smile so bright it makes Eddie want to jump in place.

He leans further back on the counter returning the smile, not noticing the common thread in Steve’s reactions to him switching nicknames.

But then the glint in Steve’s eyes suddenly brightens a dim corner of Eddie’s brain. He gets this feeling that reminds him of a perfectly set up riddle or finding that one perfect note for his latest song. It’s like everything suddenly just makes sense.

Eddie feels realization dawn on his face as he pushes himself off the counter to walk right into Steve’s personal bubble, grabs both of Steve's hands.

"Steve" Eddie says, not even caring that he sounds like the name is dripping in honey when it comes out of his mouth. With how sweet Steve is, it might as well be.

Steve just looks at him a little stunned, but doesn't say anything. Eddie draws circles in the back of his palms to reassure him.

"Why don't you want me to call you ‘dude’?" Eddie asks, trying to find out if this whole thing is what he thinks it is.

Steve looks down at their joined hands,.

"You call Nancy that sometimes..." Steve mumbles.

His answer would sound inconsequential to the unsuspecting, certainly would have to Eddie as late as last week, but Eddie thinks he’s finally getting it, and he hums his understanding.

"How ‘bout ‘man’?" he asks

Steve replies "You call Robin that sometimes..." his eyes still on their hands.

Eddie nods his agreement.

"I call everyone those things" he points out.

Steve agrees. "Exactly" he says, finally looking at him again, sounding annoyed and confirming Eddie’s suspicions.

Eddie feels his face split into a smile. He wants to grab Steve’s beautiful freaking face and just plant one on him.

"Can I still call you sweetheart?" he ventures instead. The nickname brings the hint of a smile to Steve's face but then he seems to realize something not so pleasant.

"Do you call someone else ‘sweetheart’?" Steve asks in return.

"No one" Eddie says, shaking his head, his tone vehement.

"Then yes" Steve finally answers. Eddie's heart wants to beat right out of his chest.

He interlocks their fingers to ground himself, Steve looks down at their hands and smiles at the sight.

"So, you don't want me to call you something I call someone else?" Eddie states, more than asks, calling Steve’s eyes back to his again.

"Anyone else" Steve confirms, holding his gaze.

Eddie lets out a small shuddering exhale and feels his heart fluttering in his throat, he really cannot believe this boy.

"Steve" Eddie drawls, dripping in honey again, his hands coming up to cradle Steve's face because he really can't resist anymore "Sweetheart" he says.

Steve's eyes grow a little wide and he starts blushing so much that Eddie can feel it in his palms.

"Steevieeee" Eddie sinsongs, squeezing Steve's face a bit "Pretty boy" Eddie calls him. Steve just keeps looking at him and a small smile blooms in his pretty, pretty face.

"Would you let me take you out to dinner this Friday?" Eddie finally asks him, his fingers curling to the back of Steve's head to play with his hair there. Steve's eyes get even wider.

" 's Valentine's this Friday" he points out. Eddie knows.

"Mmhm. Want you to be my Valentine." Eddie tells him, tugs his hair gently, "How's that sound?" he asks, bold in a way he never has been before. Steve blushing does things to him.

"Sounds nice" Steve answers. He smiles and nods while his hands hook on Eddie's belt loops.

"Then it's a date?" Eddie asks, trying not to sound too eager. He thinks he fails spectacularly but Steve beams and pulls him in to kiss his cheek.

"It's a date" Steve tells him, his breath ghosting on Eddie's cheek and making him shiver.

Steve pulls back, lets go of Eddie’s belt loops and tugs on a strand of his hair gently, smiling like the cat that got the cream as he walks back out into the living room.

Eddie’s gonna make this the best Valentine’s Day date Steve has ever been on.

[tarotwithdanise]

WHAT IS YOUR REPUTATION ONLINE?

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

PILE ONE

Pile one, it can be that you are someone who has a large base of followers and people enjoy watching over you. They may keep you on their tabs, there's something about your post? or you in general that may leave a very good impression to these people. They think you are goal-oriented and a dreamer. If you are someone who likes to post motivational quotes well expect them to get inspired, these people do like your mindset. They want to get you to know better but you only show the tip of an iceberg on your social media. It can be that you frequently receiving compliments, love and appreciation from these people. Some of these people may think you are dark and seductive individual which makes them feel intimidated somehow. These people believe that you guys have an ability to heal them, jeez.

PILE TWO

Hmmm, a very interesting energy. Because of your mysterious nature on social media, people may often wonder who you really are in real life. They may not often see your posts but they do frequently catch you online perhaps they may know a little about you but these people think you are trustworthy and cool based on what they viewed you online. As well as having a secret admirer that may enjoy stalking you online since they know a little bit of you, i also see this person may be a little bit of obsess with you and i think you already have an idea who this is. On the other hand, few people have a good opinion about you online like they like this low-key vibes you are giving in. The colors red, black and grey are important to you as well as the numbers 4, 7, 28 and 18.

PILE THREE

You guys, people online viewed you as someone weirdo and someone who is living a lavish life. They think that you come from a rich family and well, there's 2-3 people here showing that they want to offer a genuine friendship to you but remember there's a wolf in a sheep clothing, one of these people actually don't have a good intentions perhaps one of the reason why they wanted to be close to you is that they think they can benefit something from you. Some people viewed you as mentally unstable person and someone who does not take crap from anyone, has a calm assurance about themselves, and isn't obnoxious or harsh to anyone. For few of you, people think that you have poor eyesight because you tend to wear eyeglasses on most of your pictures online. They also think you really like yogurt a lot.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work with or without my explicit permission.

[forwards-beckon-rebound]

random dick grayson hcs bc i said so!!!

warning: usage of the metric system

got banned from club penguin for making his username dickg0320 and he had no idea why

bruce didn't have the heart to break it to him so he told him it's because you can't use your real name

so he changed it to therealrobin0320

and really they're just very lucky that nobody has ever thought that they could figure out robin and therefore batman's identity from club penguin

(and yes, he did cry when the game shut down)

has the lowest spice tolerance out of everybody in the batfam and he will be bullied for it

his biggest fear is one of those games where everybody eats a spoonful of sugar but one of them is salt or smth

but like the ones where it’s like pistachio cookies and one that’s full of wasabi or smth

jason, tim, and steph conspire to get dick to eat the cookie

terrible at mini golf

i will not be elaborating on that, but let’s just say he thought that would be a great first date idea…

has the most random t-shirts that he wears to sleep and around the house?

i don’t mean like weird weird but like random corporate freebies…

why does he have a boston marathon tshirt from 2008?

canada post merch (very niche but the shirt gets a little extra love during the strike)

he’s never even been there

he probably has a random bing mug somehow too because why not i guess

went to damian’s parent teacher interviews when bruce was too busy and let’s just say he was quite popular with the parents

he genuinely gets so invested, idk if it was just my school but sometimes the parents could volunteer to supervise during recess

dick likes to pop in and make sure damian has friends and check in on his beloved brother

but he’s also so good and sweet to the other kids there

he’s pretty used to cleaning up wounds after missions, and the kids always come to him

like a kid will scrape their knee playing soccer and he’s already there, helping them off the field while he disinfects the wound

he starts bringing those character bandaids (he somehow manages to find nightwing and batman bandaids) because he realizes it distracts the kids from their injury and makes the pain a bit more bearable

he’s already so good with his siblings, especially damian, i just know he’s so good with kids your honour

he is so incredibly confused by the slang though

kids will be like “are you skibidi toilet?” and his brain stops working because what the heck are they saying? what does that even mean? is that good or bad?

he will try to search up the terms and then he will use it in the most cursed way possible

“hey guys, stop being sigmas to each other, that’s not very rizzler of you.”

get this man off the internet and into a nursing home

i think his knowledge of pop culture ends with like 2016 millenial slang

of the recent stuff, i think he knows slay and that’s it

he gives me like tip of the iceberg disney adult…

in the most respectful way possible

like he doesn’t know every single disney world employee by name or like go disneybounding

but i feel like he watched all of the movies growing up and knows the songs by heart

like from when his parents were still alive

sometimes they get to town when a movie has just come out and they have some free time before their show

they go to a diner for breakfast, explore the new city, dick gets to choose what they do before they head back to the circus

one time he sees an ad for dumbo and they go in

and he was hooked (it hurts to even think about the movie now though, after everything that has happened. it’s the one movie he’ll never watch)

sorry that was kinda sad! anyways, i feel like he would like the coming of age leaving home stories, especially when he gets a bit older and can relate to them more

mulan, princess and the frog, tangled (one time he joked that bruce was acting like mother gothel and when bruce searched up who that was, he was…not happy to say the least)

he will ugly cry too but what’s annoying is his “ugly” is unfortunately still quite good looking

and he has indeed forced all of the batfam to watch the movies with him during family movie night

like if you think you’re going to get through a road trip without him blasting i’ll make a man out of you or i see the light, think again

a big fan of the disney renaissance classics

but like any pixar movie will also have him bawling

if he has a kid, he’s sitting them down and making them watch the whole catalogue

i feel like he wouldn’t love the new remakes and sequels as much, part of it is the lack of nostalgia for him, but he’ll still watch it opening night

drives like an old man

hunched over, both hands on the steering wheel, completely straight stare

and he refuses to go over the speed limit, even on the highway

but he’s a MENACE in the passenger seat

lovesss being on aux, i feel like he would love the pop girlies

like taylor swift, sabrina carpenter, he’s cried to casual (so real of him ngl)

but i feel like as an older sibling he can’t help but backseat or i guess passenger seat drive a little bit

“oh, watch out for that stop sign” “the one 5 km from here? how can you even see that?”

drives jason up the wall

A KPOP FAN

i feel like being a gymnast would make you at least a semi competent dancer

dude is vibing to kiss of life, twice, le sserafim and learning the choreo too

eldest son of billionaire bruce wayne spotted at local kpop random play dance

imagine him playing music while he’s getting ready for patrol

he’s singing to what is love while he’s making sure his escrima sticks are fully charged

like are we seeing the vision

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Part 3, chapter 3- running with a bullet in my leg

Series masterlist

“Little change of plans, they did it. They sent Kiara to the wilderness camp.”

“Oh, no.”

“So, uh, I’m gonna need about eight hours for liberation.”

“Eight hours? I don’t have eight hours! We’ve got a jet here, we’re all waiting!”

“I know, dog. I know the clock is ticking. Look, my sister was sent to the camp for like a while, she knows it better than anyone. I’m gonna need to talk to her. If you have to go, we’ll meet you there.”

You got put into the wilderness camp when you were 12. JJ was 10. You had gotten into yet another fight, and the cops had busted you with a pre-roll or two in your bag. You were 12, smoking. They forced you to go, basically kidnapping you as you screamed and shouted against the workers hold.

You were there for almost a year, until your dad finally decided he couldn’t live on his own and take care of JJ by himself. Like an actual father should. But you have learned over the years Luke maybank was no actual father.

“No, we can’t… we can’t. No, JJ, listen, we can’t wait for you.”

“I know! I’m working on it, dude. Luckily I’m a problem solver, just stay in the Matrix, okay? I repeat-“ JJ paused, hearing the tire explode out. He looked out the window.

“Jj?”

“Damn-“ he shouted, the line suddenly ending.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Yo, what’s going on?” Pope asked John B.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧🩶.

“God!” JJ stepped out the car, going to the back and grabbing a spare tire and some tools. He grunted, and suddenly heard a car engine behind him.

He turned around, heart racing as he realized who it was. He swallowed the lump in his throat, seeing two men get out.

“Okay, fine.” He turned around, going over to them. The other man pulled out a gun, pointing it to JJ.

“Really?” He realized, looking at the gun and back to the tire. He had shot out the tire.

“After everything you just put me through, you shot my sister, and now you shoot out my… my friends tire! That’s not even my van!”

“You lost the load, JJ. Now instead of me getting paid, I owe them. Which I guess means you owe me, right?”

“I thought my sister getting shot in the leg was perfectly enough tor you.”

“Get in the car!”

JJ paused, thinking for a moment. “As much as I would like to, I kinda got a date, so…”

“You heard him, get in the car.” The other man spoke.

“Okay. If that’s how it’s gonna be. Look, I know you’ve heard the stories. About me, my friends. A little something called the royal merchant. A pile of gold. Is that ringing any bells?”

“I heard some bullshit.”

“Well, that bullshits real.”

“Yeah?”

“And yeah, we found it.”

“Yeah, I saw. That why you got a bunch of dudes throwing your furniture in a dumpster out back your house? Thats why your sisters homeless?You’re living high off the hog, bro-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re talking about the house that’s being foreclosed? The cover? The one to throw off the scent? Rule number one, don’t do flashy shit like pay off a mortgage when you’re cashing in.”

“Stop. Let me guess. You, uh… got the gold. It’s buried somewhere in a barn, right? And if I just let you go right now, you’ll run right there, you’ll get it, we’ll split it, right?”

“Not exactly. Actually, it’s a little sweeter than that.” JJ looked over to the other man. “May I?” He asked, going over to Mike now.

“Look, let’s just forget about the Merchant gold. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. We’re going after the main course right now. All right? We’re going after the mother lode.”

—————

“Oh, God.” Sarah mumbled when she heard a car pull up, noticing it as Toppers.

You sat down with Pope and Cleo, feeling like it was better to maybe get out the plane for a little. You’ve been sitting for hours, but it felt better when you sat outside.

“Oh God.”

Topper got out the car, walking towards Sarah.

“Hey, Sarah. What are you doing? You just seeing John B off or what?” He asked, glancing at John B who stood behind her.

Sarah paused, looking at him.

“I’m sorry I, uh… I didn’t call. I meant to call you last night.”

“Oh you meant to call me last night? Okay.” He scoffed. “No, it’s all good. I was actually asking around myself and heard your dad’s plane was here. And I was like, oh, that’s.. that’s interesting.”

Sarah looked down.

“So, are you leaving with him?”

Sarah looked back up at Topper now.

“Are you leaving with him? Yes or no, Sarah.” He spat.

She nodded slowly, he scoffed again and his face fell into a crooked smile.

“You’re just… you’re just a f… a damn liar, Sarah Cameron. You’ve always been a liar. After everything we’ve been through? This… this is what you’re gonna do to me?” He laughed. “I’m done. Okay? You literally just promise John B would go away, you’d stay here with me. I can’t keep doin this..” he rambled on.

“Hey, Top. You got a little something right here, man.” You guffawed at the man, motioning to his black eye.

“Why don’t you shut up? How about that?” He looked at you, going over to John B now. “And oh, buddy, john B. You better be glad I didn’t swing back at you at the wreck cause I think you know what would’ve happened.”

“And your lucky I didn’t shoot your ugly ass on sight!” You shouted from afar, Pope hiding his face while he laughed.

“No one was talking to you, Maybank.”

“I’m not taking the bait, Top.” John B shook his head, looking at Topper. “You’re right. You would’ve kicked my ass.”

“I, um, heard they’re remodeling the Chateau. That’s tough man, how’d that happen?”

John B stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh shit.” You mumbled.

“What did you just say?” John B asked him, Topper backing up. “No, topper what did you just say?” Sarah held John B back.

“Hey, you guys have a nice life, all right?”

“That’s what you call a kook?” Cleo asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“Big time.” You nodded.

Everyone watched as topper drove away.

————

“Okay, so the office should be straight ahead. There’s a little wooden dude with a welcome sign at the door. And then, I think the lady there loved cats. Make up some bullshit story, like her cat passed away. Then, I would just wait and see where they go if they fall for it. That’s where Kiara would be.” You explained, sighing.

“Okay, thank- thank you. I’ll call you back when I’m on my way.” He hung up the phone, you sighing and putting it down.

It was getting late, hours passed and JJ was nowhere to be found.

“Has he called?” Sarah asked, they were running out of time.

You shook your head.

“Nothing.”

“We have to to go. We don’t have eight hours. And topper might’ve already called the police.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll try again.” John B said, you nodding.

“Wait. That might be JJ right there.” Cleo spoke, you guys suddenly hearing a motorcycle pull up.

“That is not JJ.” You recognized that helmet as soon as he pulled up.

“Rafe?” You asked him, furrowing your eyebrows as the tires screeched. Ward groaned behind him.

“Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay, dad. C’mon.” He mumbled to his dad, helping him off the bike, he had fallen off with a loud groan.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Rafe went to his side.

“Come on, help! Help!”

You were faster than the others to help him, it had been in your blood at this point. Muscle memory.

Ever since you were young, you couldn’t stand seeing people be hurt. It hurt you, you hated it. For as long as your dad could remember, you were always helping someone or something. Whether it was a hurt animal or a dying man like the one before you right now.

If it wasn’t someone you loathed or had beat in a fight before, you cared for them, tending to wounds. And as much as you didn’t like Ward, Rafe did.

He called it your mother’s trait, although you never really knew her, he saw her in you. Because luke knew that you were nothing like him.

And if you didn’t drop out, you would have loved to become a nurse or something. Something to help someone.

Despite the shooting pain in your leg from the bullet nudged in it, you pulled the helmet off of Ward and helping him up with Rafe.

“Fuck.” You muttered, helping him onto the plane.

“We gotta get him off the island right now.”

You let Rafe take over as he pulled him into the plane, through the doors and inside.

Sarah exhaled as she paced. “Shit, this cannot be happening.”

You sighed, hesitating before following Rafe and Ward inside the plane, helping sit him down onto the seats that already had your blood on it.

It was then that he took a glance at your bloody leg, wrapped in an also bloodied shirt. His focus was back on his dad when he let out a low groan.

“It’s alright dad.” He mumbled, more so to himself that anyone else. He took a glance down at his shaking hands, the blood of his father stained on them.

He looked back at you now, hands slowly finding their way to your face.

They trembled against your skin, you put your hand over his.

“Watch after him for me. Please.” He told you quietly. You nodded, and he pulled you into an embrace.

“He’s safe with me.” You nodded against his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked you, looking down at your leg again.

“Got shot by some dude I owed money to. No biggie.” You shrugged it off nonchalantly, he laughed quietly and you both got off each other, just staring at each other again.

He leaned in, and your heart picked up as his lips ghosted over yours. He spoke against your lips.

“When you’re back, promise me we’ll talk?” He mumbled quietly.

“Promise.” You held out your pinky, like you would when you were together. He smiled and interlocked your pinky with his, before putting his lips on yours. When he pulled apart, he turned to his dad again.

“I gotta go. But you’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine with them.” He told him again.

“He’s gonna be alright.” You told him as he began to step down the steps of the plane again.

The corners of Rafe’s mouth twisted up, nodding he walked over down to the pogues.

“We’re not done.” Pope said, putting his hand on Rafe’s shoulder. Rafe ignored it, and walked over to Sarah.

“Please take care of him.” He said, Sarah walking up the stairs to the jet. You were already tending to his wounds, wincing while you did so. They were bad.

John B turned around, going up to Rafe and putting his phone down.

“You do anything to him, anything, I swear to God I’ll find you.” Rafe spoke menacingly, quietly. It was a warning. “If anything happens to her…” he let the words linger in the air, as he heard sirens get closer.

“Wait, where’s JJ?” You asked John B, looking up from Ward, who seemed to be doing better somewhat now.

“We have to leave without them…” John B said, you furrowing your eyebrows.

“Are you serious-“ you began.

“He’ll find a way. He always does.” Pope told you.

Ward suddenly stood up, you just watching as he went over to the steps again.

“Wait, Rafe! Rafe!” Ward said, stepping out.

“Dad, hey! Get back on the plane!” Ward shouted. “They’re coming right now!”

“I gotta talk to you. Come here real quick.” He began to step down.

“Dad, you gotta- you gotta go!”

“Rafe, now!”

Rafe walked over to his dad, who held his thigh.

“Thank you.” Ward spoke, putting his hands on Rafe’s shoulder, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.” He mumbled as Ward pulled him into a hug

“Yep, yep, you’re a good boy.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Look.” He grabbed his son’s face.

“Doesn’t matter what happens in the middle, it’s how you come out in the end. Look at me! Look at me!”

Rafe looked up at him finally.

“I know what you did, okay? I don’t care, cause you came back for me, right? You’re in control now. You’re the man. All of it is yours, everything here. It’s yours, son. You’re the man now. You proved yourself, okay? You’re the man. And I take back what I said about her.” He laughed quietly.

Rafe nodded slowly, tears in his eyes.

Ward pulled him into another hug.

“I love you, buddy.” Those words he waited all his life for.

“Oh god. All right. Come on. I got it.” He turned around, going back into the plane.

“You good?”

“Goodbye, son.” He said, giving him one last look as the door shut.

The plane began to move and the sirens got closer. Rafe stood, accepting defeat as the cops got out the car.

Rafe turned to Shoupe, hands running down his face.

“Well, shit Rafe. Looks like you got a story to tell.”

Ward sat back down across from you, you looking back at him.

“That looks bad.” You nodded to his thigh that he held, still bleeding.

“It is.”

“Uh… fuck.” You mumbled, rummaging through your bag. You pulled out a bandana, one that you had stolen a while ago as a kid.

“Can you… put your leg up?”

He did so, you kneeled down in front of him.

“This is gonna hurt like hell, so… you can do what I did and bite on a stick or something.”

You grabbed a bottle of alcohol, pouring it over the wound and putting the towel back over it.

He groaned, wincing and breathing heavily.

“Thank you.” He told you, you ignoring and it continuing to wrap it with the bandana. “Thank you.” He repeated, you nodding and standing up, going over to sit by yourself, propping your legs up and sighing.

You had fallen asleep against the window, and stirring when your new phone rung out with a notification.

“We made it out.” It read, it was JJ.

———

Tag list.

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow @saintnourah @calmoistorm

[tombfreak]

ASPD and being a "bad person"

the backhanded support for aspd

There's a very backhanded type of support for people with ASPD. In attempts to get moral highground and fight against the demonization/stigmatization of the disorder, it's almost entirely watered down to "Oh you just lack empathy and have mean thoughts :)". It's entirely infantilized to the point where people who actually exhibit their real symptoms are just "bad people", or "using their disorder as an excuse for their bad behaviour" because "that's not what ASPD is actually like!!"

Moralizing disorders does nothing but cause harm to people suffering from mental health issues. You cannot cherry pick which presentations of ASPD are deemed acceptable when the whole disorder revolves around being and doing socially unacceptable things.

"It's ok if you lack empathy!" Is the only support I really see for ASPD, which is true, but only if we don't have empathy in ways that they think is acceptable.

I don't have empathy for people of colour, or people with disabilities, or trans folk. My empathy can't just turn on for people who I know deserve it. I can't relate to their struggles, I can't feel for them, I can't even really care. And lacking the empathy required for me to feel these things towards others is exactly what causes me issues in my life. It's socially unacceptable. It's dysfunctionally anti-social.

But thats very much the tip of the iceberg. Lacking empathy isn't even in the DSM-5 criteria for ASPD, and a lot of people with ASPD do experience empathy in their own way.

There's also the issue of "it's ok to be angry, it's ok to have mean thoughts, as long as you don't act on them" or "it's ok to not care, as long as you pretend you do" or "it's ok if you lack empathy as long as you're compassionate"

The issue is that people with ASPD are only supported and accepted if they're in a place where they can conform to prosocial behaviour, which is incredibly difficult to do and does require a degree of recovery. And not a lot of people are willing, or able to, get to that point in recovery.

If you say you support people with mental health issues, then you need to accept the part that actively causes problems as well, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You can't just love the "antisocial personality" and hate the "disorder".

People with ASPD will act in ways that makes them a morally "bad person". That's the entire premise of the disorder. If you water it down to the point where the person suffering has to be good and follow your social standards, then that's not an anti-social disorder anymore.

And I know it's hard to stomach people with ASPD sometimes, especially if they're not in recovery at all. We can be mean, insensitive, aggressive, insulting, morally skewed, or just a complete asshole in general. We can say unacceptable things, we can do wrong, and we're prone to it. You don't have to like someone to support them.

Supporting someone with mental health issues doesn't mean you have to like what they do, or who they are, or be friends with them. You're allowed to remove someone from your life if they're causing issues in yours. Supporting someone with mental health issues means you are able to leave them alone, and not go out of your way to shame them for things currently out of their control.

Yes, recovery is very important, but trust me as a recovering addict and someone with ASPD, you cannot force someone to be better. All they need is to know that they have room to breathe and grow. Support is giving people the space to do that. Backhanded 'support' is saying that you'll let them have that space but only if they currently fit in to your personal standards.

[eternity-death]

Okay… 2.1 thoughts (mostly revolving around Sunday bc I am obsessed with him)… SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT COMPLETED THE QUEST!!!

PART 1

"You got to prove your worth to Sunday before you can speak with him." MEOOOOWWWWW

Aventurine pointing out Sunday's need for control and calling him insecure made me laugh out loud.

Also, the slipping into Sunday's collar... tee hee...

Do you guys think Yan Sunday puts you in the sand pit when he's upset with you...

It's either time-out in the sandpit or a "nice walk" through the real dreamscape. You obviously choose the pit. And now you're stuck with the creepy Oak family puppets for the foreseeable future. It's unnerving and lonely, and despite your shrunken size you start to feel a little claustrophobic.

When Sunday feels you've had enough time to... reflect on your actions... he approaches the sandpit and asks if you're ready to behave.

And yes, he does expect a sincere and lengthy apology.

"Breathtaking view" more like BREASTtaking. We know what you were really looking at, Aventurine.

These are important because in my endless list of drafts I have some hc’s of Sunday being a neat freak and I was correct!!!

Further reinforcing my hc that Sunday would like to help you get ready in the mornings.

Part of it is to satisfy himself and the other part is to make sure you look acceptable and appropriate.

SCREAMED… SUNDAY MIND CONTROL POWERS CONFIRMED…

We now know that he can take away one’s ability to lie… though this is probably just the tip of the iceberg.

THIS SCENE IN PARTICULAR AIWHEGRHWHHWHWHEHAGHW… SCREAMED AGAIN… WITHOUT THE S….

THAT SMILE… WHEN HE KNOWS HE HAS AVENTURINE RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS HIM… INSANITY… MEEOOEOOOOWWOWOW….

[intermundia]

If you start with "I dont wish to be a hater or judge someone else's tastes but" I am sorry to inform you that you already are 🤷🏻‍♂️ Answering more seriously, ignoring all the canon examples that can be given for the appeal of this ship, let's address what could possibly motivate someone to consider it to begin with, regardless of the canon reasons. I assume you're implying some immoral issues that you personally take issue and cannot understand how we all just overlooked them, so— Historically, power dynamics between a Master and their Apprentice, would often include sexual tones and tensions that were explored or not. There's intrigue and interest in seeing how being raised in such an environment, when your main and closest bond, physical and mental, is also the one who raises and trains you, the one with whom you mature and develop (sometimes mutually, as one grows out of apprenticeship, and the other becomes a master). Some cultures saw this as being part of educating a young man to become a decent adult, showing them how to love and make love correctly, and modeling the correct behaviour. We can also address the fact that Anakin is a slave, phycologically, children with trauma tend to imprint on their saviors (hello Padme, hello Obi-Wan) and more than a few times, that leads to inappropriate and sometimes sexual fantasies, too. Not to mention that teens, even such without a trauma, but especially with one (those who lack one of the parents, double the chance) would develop a deep attachment, sexual fantasies and resentment and complex about their idol. And this is just the tip of the iceberg, only addressing Anakin's side. If we speak of Obi-Wan, a man raised in a cult-like organisation with strict codes, no modelling of healthy father-son relationships or any sort of real family structures and give him a boy who does not know how to not love with his whole ass heart--- anyways. It's interesting. It's intriguing. It's fun to explore and untangle. If you think that shipping Anakin with Padme is better by a lot, given their type of relationship and attachement style, as well as their communication and how anxious Anakin is-- well, you're just judging the ship based on the fact that it feels yucky for you to imagine irl. But well, isn't it lucky this is fictional? Anyways, if you don't want to be a hater-- just don't be. Plenty ships out there that are no everyone's cup of tea, what you do is block them and don't read them and forget about them, rather than come to ask someone a question under the guise of actually wanting to know the answer. If you have, you would have worded the question with a curiosity that would have prompted OP to give you a real answer. But you intent was not pure, therefore :)

thank you so much, i really did NOT have the spoons to put any of it into words today. usually i just block similar message but i really hated how that one was phrased in particular, like i really have always been happy to explain the million reasons why i think they love each other in every possible way... i've written so much meta and 750k words of stories about it. but they're just "asking" as a shame tool bc they think it's icky, and they don't want to actually consider the myriad complex reasons why people sometimes love each other in inappropriate situations and where those situations might arise inside the world of the gffa lmao

[prodbyton]

🚨TONIISWRLD NATION GET THE FUCK UP WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PERV!SUNGCHAN🚨

Sungchan is a fucking evil genius! he planned out from the start how to make you okay with the shit he does. on your first date, he asked you what your love language was and told you his was physical touch. you never thought anything of it. after that, he was always holding your hand, giving you hugs, and giving you the sweetest kisses. once you two made your relationship official, he got even more touchy (which you were shocked was even possible).

his hugs started to get longer and his kisses started to get deeper. whenever he picks you up for a date, his hand goes straight to your thigh. Sungchan's hand always slowly creeps up to your skirt the closer you get to the restaurant. if you're at a party talking to your friends, he's standing behind you with his arms around your waist, giving you little kisses on the side of your face. your friends thought his clinginess was so sweet, but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Sungchan's touching started to get a lot less subtle. at his friend's party, his arm was draped over your shoulder with his hand "accidentally" grazing your boob. you get in the car with him and his hand is already on your inner thigh inching towards your pussy. he takes full advantage of the darkness of the movie theater to fully grab at your boobs. you still never batted an eye at his behavior.

you thought it was fairly normal for your boyfriend to want to touch you. But most boyfriends don't press their hard cock against their girlfriend's ass in the middle of a party. And most girlfriends don't take that as a sign to blow their boyfriend in the bathroom.

yeah so perv!Sungchan is just the #1 gf groper, but we love him for it 🫶🏾 Cumming Coming next: some other horny shit from my depraved mind :D

Toodles! ✌🏾😙

-🎀 (this message was brought to you by drunk 🎀 anon and heavily edited by sober and shockingly not hungover 🎀 anon)

when i tell you i jumped out my seat when i saw this notif…

perv sungchan just being #1 gf groper is so real, he makes it seem like its completely normal for him to touch you like that in public and take you into any public bathroom to fuck you in just bc he’s your boyfriend, and he’s so sweet about it that you don’t realize how icky he really is :3

and if i said sungchan is the bf who asks you to send him nudes even if ur out w family

sungchan who loudly talks about your sex life when you’re with him and his friends, the rest of the boys not giving too much details into their own but brags about how well he fucks you and just smirks at how everyone gets silent and watches you bury your face in his shoulder out of embarrassment.

he feels like he needs to grope you in public to let other men know you belong to him, because if he fantasizes about you what would other men be thinking about? he wants them to know you’re off limits.

because he’s so tall he can press his hard cock onto you easier and basically hump your back in public and no one would notice, but you do, and it makes your whole body heat up and makes you lightheaded, because you know he’s going to find the nearest bathroom to bend you over in, or push you down to your knees to get him off, and he wont make you cum until you two get home, but he’s gonna stuff you full of his cum and make you walk around with your legs clenched tight so it doesn’t leak through your underwear.

🎀 anon youve done it again… cant wait for what you come up with next 🤭

[jumpscaregoose]

tss is kind of a weird manga if you think about it. I've been doing that a lot

its main goal is to be a sequel to flowers, and in that a sequel to the original shaman king, but then you read it and that's. really just the tip of the iceberg. tss is already a confusing, messy story if you know what it's doing, but if you go into it only having read og shaman king and flowers (like I did the first time around) you are going to be so lost

takei has this habit of reusing characters and concepts in his work, he's been doing it literally since the beginning. if we're counting each one separately (including alumi), he's written five anna the itakos. the anna that shows up in butsu zone is almost identical to anna from the original oneshot. he does this reduce reuse recycle thing in shaman king too, most obviously with anna and gandhara. and of course this continues into the mainline sequels.

flowers is interesting in comparison to tss, because it is a shaman king sequel in the way you'd expect. it repeats many of the same characters and plot beats as the original (apathetic main character, itako no anna fiance, edgy rival with a goth older sister). hana even mentions a few times that he doesn't want to relive the same beats as his father. compared to tss, the prior work flowers draws on the most is shaman king. for a few chapters. because then we get yahabe.

yahabe is probably the cleanest copy paste into the shaman king universe, excluding butsu zone. it was a oneshot that wrapped itself up after clearly defining its premise while leaving room for the story to continue. except, instead of this continuation being a full yahabe serialization, we just get yosuke in shaman king. yahabe!yosuke and mankin!yosuke could exist on the same timeline, and with how the flowers anime reuses shots from the yahabe manga and ova, that feels like what's supposed to be canon. any deviations from the shaman king canon in yahabe itself can easily be explained away by yahabe being from yosuke's perspective as a non-shaman who doesn't know what the hell is going on. he integrates so cleanly into flowers I didn't even know he was from something else until earlier this year. the same thing applies to death zero, because I fully forgot that was a different thing while writing this.

so flowers has shaman king, and yahabe, and death zero, and it sets up the main plot. and then there's tss.

tss is completely incomprehensible if you haven't done at least 30 chapters of external reading.

or, it's comprehensible, but it's also bad. the reading experience is made so much worse if, for example, you haven't read ultimo and don't know how terrifying not-stan lee actually is. or how important the themes of ultimo are to tss itself. ultimo is a conversation on the objectivity of good and evil, in the same way tss is a battle of ideologies between gods. if you haven't read ultimo, the dong family comes out of absolute nowhere and make even less sense then they do with context.

and then there's senju. the page where senju, when asked what he's learned on his 40 (20 in real actual life) year journey, smiles and says he "can't save people after all" is probably my favourite moment in anything takei's ever written. the weight of that statement means nothing to the reader who's only come from shaman king, because the senju we see in shaman king is sati saigan's spirit ally and nothing else. "I can't save people after all" is an answer to the main thesis of butsu zone, an answer given decades after that manga was cancelled to a collection of readers who might not even know what that is. it's an impactful moment if you've read butsu zone, if you know how it was cut short before takei could take the story where he wanted, if you know the creator has been writing about the same things, about the state of the world and doing what's right and how there are no bad people who can see ghosts, for decades. it makes you think about the thing you're currently reading, the sequel to the one story that author told that made it, that got to say its piece.

because takei's work is kind of cursed. his manga are frequently cancelled, his oneshots never picked up for serialization. the magazines his sequels run in getting cancelled themselves, leaving his stories in limbo. even shaman king, his most successful work, only got its true ending years after it concluded. there is so much in takei's work that has gone unsaid.

when senju stands in front of daremoine and says he can't save people, it's satisfying. it may have been what takei set out to write in 1997, or maybe it was something he thought of in the years between, but either way. this is the ending of butsu zone. this is how its theme's conclude. in the sequel to the sequel of a manga from which its original protagonist was a side character, and underdeveloped plotline. and when you've read butsu zone, it feels good, it feels complete. it hits you like a ton of bricks

this is why I think flowers and super star lose people. because they aren't sequels to shaman king. they're sequels to everything takei has ever written.

to get the most out of super star, you need to have read not only shaman king and its spinoffs, not only flowers, but butsu zone and ultimo and yahabe. hell, to understand shaman king you need to have read mappa douji, or the entire ending falls flat on its face

if you lean into it, this creates an interconnectedness to takei's work, a sense that what you're reading right now is a part of something bigger. whatever is being contemplated currently ties into a much larger conversation about society and morality spanning one man's entire career.

if you don't, you get... a bunch of messy stories. tss makes no bloody sense half the time. ultimo is insane enough on its own, and you're supposed to keep track of that and all the little changes that fit it into this timeline? not to mention the flaws in takei's writing itself, how he tends to pace things weird and leave gaps in his stories, all of it makes tss specifically pretty inaccessible to the average reader.

what is there to take away from this?

I'm not sure, really. I love tss, a lot actually. I enjoy the sense of discovery that comes with engaging in this twisted knot of a story. I think that if you tried to read tss with only shaman king and were frustrated, you should check out yahabe and ultimo and especially butsu zone and try again. you might still think it's a mess, but I think it's worth it to see if that's what lost you

but I know that's also a big ask, that's over 80 chapters of manga to read just to have the backstory for the insane stuff in tss. not everyone's up for that, and that's fair

do I think tss would be more accessible if it only drew from shaman king? yes. do I think it would have been better?

no

[crepezinhos]

A quick story of my most recent experience about how this image literally JUST repeats itself infinitely.

Long time ago I read this cool Kazuha smut where he was drunk and was absolutely in-love with reader’s pussy. Ok, right? Yeah, it was fine with me, that’s why I opened the comments to leave my own opinion and read others’ too, until I found this person questioning the validity of that fanfiction, arguing that Kazuha couldn’t have consented because he was drunk.

Totally fine argument… if we were talking about a non/dub-con fic or a real actuation.

The fanfiction was literally just Kazuha praising reader over and over. The tags didn’t imply assault, the fic didn’t imply it too. It was just fluff. The author even argued that they never had the intention of making an assault fic too. After all, I personally didn’t see anything malicious in it until this person pointed, and you probably didn’t see it too until I mentioned it.

I responded that person and we begun arguing because she got mad at me when I said drunk people can still make conscious (or good) choices in the early stages of being drunk, but that person (who I later found out to be a minor, which explains her lack of experience) just… told me this in response:

Yes, an accusation of me being a potential assaulter because I defended an author.

If it isn’t enough that she’s treating Kazuha like a real person who genuinely went through a traumatic experience, she also treated me like a fictional character. How, you may ask? By straight ironizing with what would be a scenario of me being assaulted.

It is soooo disgusting that people go this far to defend a fictional character but also so interesting to see how that tweet above is so… real.

We basically went over and over the argument and they eventually got mad enough and blocked me because they couldn’t understand what I was trying to tell them the entire time.

I couldn’t print it but they also mentioned that the person liking it doesn’t make less abusive but personally (and probably you too) I’ve never seen a victim of assault treat their experiences like it wasn’t a trauma or something that they liked, like “Yeah I was drunk and he abused me but I was ok with it but I reported them to the police.” Like no? There are so many more layers in assault, consent is just the tip of the iceberg.

People like this are soooo funny to watch. They try making a point about assault, but minutes later are ironizing with what would be a scenario of it just because she doesn’t like the person she’s arguing with.

Remember! You can’t solve war with more war, folks!

And to clarify myself in case my argument isn’t really clear, I don’t think having sex with drunk is overall something “ok”. I personally wouldn’t do it with anyone unless I was drunk too and I think it might be a red flag depending on the situation and person, but that fanfiction was literally the fluffiest thing ever and I never said anything harmful to that person that could’ve triggered them into saying those to me (nor did I say anything harmful back to them after it). I don’t think it’s anywhere ok to ironize with someone’s possible experience of assault at any point of an argument. It is genuinely dehumanizing and in this case it was literally useless because Kazuha is totally ok.

Anyway, the author already deleted it all and thanked me for trying to reason with that person, so you can’t go and look at it yourself, but I had to share this somewhere, it was just too funny lol. 😭

Hope this feels like a lecture or a funny story too in a way.

See you soon ❤️