#this is the stupidest thought I've ever had

[trojanteapot]

Scrabby may have Orbo but Prismo has his Blorbo

[bipolareffigy]

i woke up at 3a in a cold sweat bc i'm going on a cruise with one of my sisters in march and i had the stupidest thought:

i take my deadpool and wolverine funkos ON the ship with me

because i SHIP them

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

in which trent and roy make up earlier in a slightly less public setting and then make the completely hinged decision to use this opportunity to fuck with everyone

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

i'm waiting for the day where someone can finally just have an entire cheerleading squad make a chant/cheer routine that involves chanting the lyrics of "cigaro" by system of a down.

like, imagine a bunch of stylish, pretty girls dressed like normal cheerleaders, and then you got the innocent-looking blonde one in the middle smiling as she raises her pom-pom and yells: "MY COCK IS MUCH BIGGER THAN YOURS~!!!!"

followed by a bunch of elaborate dance moves as they all yell the rest of the chant

[normalcannibalism]

i am putting so much thought into the stupidest character i have ever made. God this is one hell of a thing

[allthegothihopgirls]

i am pretty sure i just speedran my record for fastest post i've made to hit 1k notes.... literally under 24 hours what is wrong with you people

[sleeepydraws]

.... just gonna put this here without context...

kthxbi

[stellacendia]

Actually I've decided I'm sick of being cis people's only irl experience with genderqueer/nonbinary people

[verdiesque]

Ughhh

[nasa-is-shaking]

why are you pregaming, we’re going to a baby shower??

[chaos-and-sparkles]

?? You mean Vi, the child that died, the child who grew up protecting her sister the best she could until her sister BLEW UP THEIR FAMILY and later Piltover and kicked off everything bad that happened in the series (the double standard of blaming Vi but not Jinx is insane btw, you cannot blame one without blaming the other, tragedies are literally built because of multiple characters being in shit situations and making decisions that were never gonna end any other way)?? Vi, who was just as much a victim of Piltover's oppression as everyone else in Zaun?? Vi, whose death didn't change the timeline because she was Vi but because she was a child and her death made Piltover realize how dangerous hextech was and how bad they messed up, as confirmed by the creators?? And Jayce sure invented hextech but he was far from the core of the problem with Piltover.

"nothing even needs fixing" did we watch the same show??? The one that's about systemic oppression and classism and violence that cannot be caused or fixed by any one person and are very much not "peachy"?? Be ffr lmao XD

Can’t believe that the alternate reality that Ekko visited literally confirmed that everything was Jayce and Vi’s fault. The two biggest himbos get removed from the timeline, and everything turns out peachy. The world’s biggest “I can fix this” people get removed and it turns out, nothing even needs fixing without them there to cause the problems.

[fullyanimated]

i have a very talkative cat and when he needs something or is looking for me it often sounds a lot like "mamma" (mum in norwegian)

that's very cute and funny how it sounds like he's calling for me but sometimes there are very small children outside actually saying "mamma" and sometimes they sound just like my cat. it's a big fear of mine, telling my cat to "stop yelling" and the yeller being a toddler calling for their mum

[cheyisagirlkisser]

・゜゜Gamer Ellie Headcannons ・．

NSFW CONTENT BELOW, MDNI

✧.* Gamer Ellie wears those plaid boxer-shorts around the house adorned with some random t-shirt she often sleeps in. When she's out and about, she loves her classic flannel or white wife-beaters, sports bra peeking out of the fabric when she moves just ever so slightly. Converse and doc-martins all the way. You'll beg her not to wear it in public, but Ellie's got this one black Call of Duty t-shirt that is she is obsessed with.

✧.* Gamer Ellie ismore introverted than anything. She likes staying inside with you and watching movies with you rather than going on restaurant dates. Speaking of movies, gamer Ellie would be more into comedy and sci-fi than anything. I've mentioned in previous headcannons Ellie would be a huge Jurassic park fan, but some other movie / shows she'd be begging you to watch with her are Airplane, Star Trek, and Pulp Fiction. Anything with action or on her level of dumb humor, and Star Trek for when she's geeking out. It's her guilty pleasure.

✧.* Gamer Ellie's favorite type of physical touch is having your fingers running through her hair. She likes to feels your touch in such a light, vulnerable way. Sometimes when she's playing a game, you'll approach her from behind and massage her scalp with your sweet touch. "Babe, you're distracting me!" She'll complain with a dramatic but playful groan, but her freckled face will melt like ice on a hot day from your touch.

✧.* Gamer Ellie isn't good at multi-tasking. She loves having you all up in her lap while her fingers are punching keys, but she always seems to lose when you're touching her, let alone near her. Why? Her thoughts are filled with the night before when the two of you were about to fall asleep, giggling in bed about some video on your phone, and specifically she's thinking about when you forgot all about sleep and had a late-night make-out session with some 90's movie tuned out on the television. It's so hard to remember to reload her virtual AR when all she's feeling is the way your warm fingers slid down her back and how your breathing turned into soft pants when she got all greedy and latched her filthy mouth onto your neck. Still, she'd never tell you to get off of her lap so she could focus. You were worth every aggravating respawn.

✧.* Gamer Ellie, in bed, isn't some huge dommy-mommy or whatever you're thinking. She's really touchy, sure. But she's honestly just your average lesbian who is absolutely obsessed with her girl, and she blanks at time. You'll be on top of her, and she's got this cave-woman aura going where she's just staring at your pretty face, focused on chasing your lips for a kiss. Her hands are awkwardly perched on her sides because she forgets how to even touch you: you're such a fucking goddess, and she's kind of a loser. You're a savior, though; guiding her hands to your waist with a sweet, patient smile. Ellie will get the cue and her fingers will spread across your waist to the top of your hips, and she remembers how desperate she is. (This one was inspired by me with my gf, you're so real gamer Ellie)

✧.* Gamer Ellie is also a switch! If you want her to be the top, she'll do it, but like I said she's going to be all cute and embarrassed about it. She'll be eating you out and her thoughts will be going at 100 miles per hour: "Am I doing this right?" "She's moaning Ellie, stop overthinking it." And sometimes the only thought she can really be having is "I love pussy." Cute. When she's bottom, which is most of the time, she isn't really all submissive and whiney but more like, defensively flustered like how she got with Dina when Dina threatened to bite her on the couch. Gay panic type of bottom. She does get pretty loud when you use a vibrator on her, though. That's a personal favorite in the bedroom.

✧.* Gamer Ellie did have a Fortnite phase. She hates talking about it but she spent like an ungodly amount on the stupidest skins. She used to make you watch her play at first, and then it was you having to create a whole Epic account so you could be her duo. Ellie's favorite season? Chapter two season seven. Why? Aliens. She got the battle pass and unlocked the alien skins, too. A little after she got super obsessed with it, like yelling at some 12 year old boy telling him his mother wishes she swallowed him, she moved on to a game that wasn't making her yell at at her screen. You were thankful.

✧.* Gamer Ellie is a huge night owl. While your sleep schedule is pretty average, she will blink and it'll be four in the morning. She'll groan and pop her back before stripping down to underwear and a t-shirt and then crash on your shared bed, making you stir from your rest. She sleepily curls her body into yours, peppering the warmest smooches wherever(probably with her eyes closed or half-way, at least) and muttering out apologies for waking you in the most ethereal voice known to woman-kind (it's raspy and the one she uses during sex when she's attempting to be a good top).

A/N: Thank you everyone for over 500 followers! I hope to post some longer fics this week or at least some more arcane fics. I promised some Jinx content, hopefully that'll be soon. Love you all.

[starboye]

starring: pornstar!johnny cage x male reader

request: HIHIHI I physically need this for my soul, I've been giggling my ass off with my friends ever since we thought of it, I need a pornstar!johnny cage fic w drool Pretty please

warnings: smut, rough sex, drinking, drool, jerking off, ass slapping, daddy kink, dirty talk, overstimulated slightly, creampie, unprotected sex

directors note: while making this i did base it off a certain twitter pornstar, can you guess who it is

you first got in the porn industry after some friends said you had the perfect face and body for it, so you did, starting up your own onlyfans where you quickly gained traction, people started wanting to see you collab with other stars in the porn community so you did, collaborating with more and more until you got a dm from a certain popular fucker.

the johnny cage dmed you asking if you were down to make a video with him and you were quick to agree, meeting up with him one day at his rather lavish apartment that over looked the city "i hope the drive here was good" he said from the kitchen making drink for the both of you "it was okay" you chuckle "well i hope a cocktail can calm your nerves" he hands you a glass and down his before you do the same.

now im gonna be real taking a shot of liquor might be one of the greatest ideas or stupidest because in no time he had you arched in front of the camera fucking you like there was no tommorow, you see why the others in his videos always moaned so loudly, he felt so good sliding in and out of your hole.

"keep looking at the camera for me pretty" he grunted pulling your hair to keep your face from falling into the pillows constantly while his other arm flexed at the camera, his hips constantly snapping into your aching ass.

"you like this dick" he asked "yessss" you whine out feeling your eyes roll back further "yes what" he growls smacking your ass "yes sir i love your fat cock so fucking much" you moan, a little bit of drool falling from the corner of your lips as your mouth lolls open unable to stop the slew of moans and other profanities.

"good boy now throw that ass back on my dick" he stops thrusting, desperate for more you start slowly moving your ass back and forth but with a few slaps on the ass from johnny you're quick to speed it up "yeah good fucking boy" he smirks, turning you over to start making out with you.

his hips starting to move on their own, fucking you while he jerked you off, edging you just to the point of cumming just to stop, getting you right there to cum with him "please joh-" you beg "ah ah that's not my name baby boy" he tuts correcting you "please daddy i wanna cum so bad" you weakly moan through messy wet kissing.

"just a little longer for me" he coos kissing down your neck and all across your chest, tongue flicking your sensitive perky nipple making you jolt up a little, his grip tightening around your cock a little before he cums in you, painting you tight gummy walls white while you came in his hand.

"shit you fuck good" you laugh coming down from your high "thank you, and you know how to take a dick damn well" he drops his head next to yours before looking up at the camera and cutting it "now how about we have a fuck sesh to ourselves" he suggests "im down" you smirk, you'll def be limping out of here by next morning.

taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @znerac @inhumanshadows

[sematarygirls]

can you do rafe and reader matching Halloween costumes?

🎃 ⊹ᡣ��₊⋆ ─── you make rafe do a couple's costume !

   "This is the stupidest fuckin' idea you've ever had," Rafe grumbled begrudgingly as he stood in the bathroom, looking at his reflection in the mirror to aid him in tying his tie.

"We look so cute!" you beamed, ignoring your grumpy boyfriend's dramatics. You had the bright idea that since it was your first Halloween together, it would be so cute to do a couple's costume. Of course, Rafe vehemently protested this idea because he thought he was too cool for Halloween and that dressing up was stupid and childish. The only part he liked of the season was the copious parties with scantily clad women in their sexy-fied costumes and free booze.

It took a great deal of begging and pleading (and a promise of lots of sex to make up for his trouble and lost street cred) for him to finally agree to dress up with you, but when he did, you were over the moon.

You had tons of different ideas. Rafe insisted on the whole cop and prisoner costume, but you shut him down, knowing he had ulterior motives. He just wanted an excuse to put you in handcuffs and have you at his side the entire night. You also considered Ghostface and Sidney Prescott, but you pocketed that idea for another time when finally, you thought of Morticia and Gomez Addams.

You knew Rafe would be more inclined since the costume mainly just consisted of a suit, which meant he wouldn't be dressing up as much as the other costumes demanded. Plus, you knew he'd never pass up the chance to see you in a black dress that hugged you in all the right places—he was a man after all.

His gaze flickered over to your reflection in the mirror, roaming your figure appreciatively. That dress was working for you, and the makeup you'd done to complete the look just made you look all the more sexy. "Why don't we just stay home, yeah?" He proposed. As good as the costume looked on you, he knew it would look better on his bedroom floor.

You rolled your eyes at his entirely predictable suggestion. "I did not get all dressed up just to stay inside all night," you told him, pulling at his arm to turn him toward you, so you could fix his tie. "Besides," you glanced up at him, a smile tugging at your lipstick coated lips. "I want to show all your friends how whipped I've got you."

"I'll take this shit off right now," he threatened, but you knew he wouldn't dare, not when he was betting on you putting out tonight.

"Oh, cmon, don't be like that," you grinned, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He tried to pull you closer and deepen the kiss, but you pulled away. "Ah ah ah," you scolded, using your thumb to swipe away some lipstick that had transferred onto his lips. "You're gonna mess up my makeup."

"You just wait till tonight. I'm gonna mess up your makeup alright," he smirked, his eyes glinting with promise as his hands went to your hips, tugging you closer.

"Mhm," you giggled, planting your hand on his chest and pushing him away. "Keep it in your pants, pretty boy," you told him, turning back to the mirror to fix your smudged lipstick. He crossed his arms watching you intently, thinking of all the things he was going to do to you when you two got back from the Halloween party.

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.