#this is the state of things for me now
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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Beedle & Goodfellow
Goodfellow is a warforged barbarian dnd character I want to use if I ever get to play someday. Figured I'd draw his backstory even if I never do 😊
#original comic#dnd#ttrpg#oc#artists on tumblr#comic#my art#my comic#goodfellow#me: imma take a break#also me: goes into a fugue state and spends all day drawing this entire thing#i statted out goodfellow actually like months ago#i forget a lot about what I did by now tho lol
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Genuinely being a single woman in my thirties, living alone, is such a mixed blessing sometimes. I do love my house and when I'm here I literally never want to leave. But on the other hand, I do get tired of leaving to go hang out with people, even though I love seeing them. Especially because I have such a great group of friends but they live all over the place, geographically, and therefore most of them don't know each other. And I actually really love hosting? But I never have people in my house because logistically it's always more practical for me to go to them than vice versa.
But sometimes I buy new old dishes and wanna just have a little fancy wizard party, but all my guests are far away. Please may I have the teleport spell. Or a high-speed commuter rail system.
#Hazard of moving to a city where i dont have people locally i guess#a very insular city at that#and honestly i am not lonely! I have lovely freinds! But I do miss the college days of everyone basically living in walking distance#in one city#as opposed to now#where DND takes me the width of the state on a weekly basis#usually the only time there are groups of people in my house is around christmas for the family holidays#and like...in the overall balance of my life this works#me going to my people is the logical choice#and its not a bad thing#but most of my friend groups are...local clusters where I am the out-of-towner these days#which again: fine; i knew that going in when I decided to move where I did and overall its the best call#but also sometimes I want to just load up the whole crew in detroit and tell them we're heading to mine this time#dont worry there'll be fancy little finger sammiches when we get there#just give me an excuse to use the wizard plates
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projecting on luffy again. get bited.
#zolu#luzo#one piece#p.s. i claimed to maximum amount of straw hat badges but im only allowed to display them on my main account 😥 they are with me in spirit#p.p.s. have you ever bit a soft upper arm#i think zoros unflexed muscly upper arms would be the most stimmy thing in the world to chew on#me when i see the pumpkinhead halloween luffy world collectible figure. bite.#or some of the unreleased gear5 figures esp the world collectibles#okay maybe im on a world collectible figure kick i just think they are sooooooooooooooo!!!! (≧∇≦) ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡#the markup to buy them used is insane tho ;__; so i just love them from afar#honorable mention to the new 20th anniversary action pose luffy with the haki arm and the big big fighting grin#and all babygirl zoros which i what i call zoro wearing any sunglasses but mostly filmz and filmgold sunglasses zoro#and when i see any art of my boys in their cowboy fits!!!!!!!#GGAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED I bought the ao cowboy shimmer print had to get it sent to someone in the states who will then ship it to me ;__;#<3 <3 <3 soon i will hold them. need to get some sort of wall display going for them and my zolu mail#okay okay ive ranted about a million things in the tags now. hope you enjoyed the bited. byeeeee
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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Transcript:
Machine, I just got back from therapy.
I accept I am not papa's special boy, but I'm still going to kill you.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#authors note: we are not *so* back. but posting should be happening again?#but the almost daily posting will never come back#sorry for disappearing. nothing bad happened i just did not have the chance to post anything#part of the absence was cause i was out of state#and i now have someone sitting behind me most of the time at work#so i can only edit when there is no one behind me and i happen to have no work to do#also the whole uh not really getting new clips thing. i mean there have been a few. but things will run out if i kept posting daily#so it will be slow
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[through gritted teeth, with fists clenched]
When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE-
#I AM GOING TO BE HOPEFUL#I AM GOING TO COUNT MY BLESSINGS#1. got a free smore today#2. i have a backup laptop [my usual laptop charger got water damage yesterday]#3. i got sick a couple months ago so i already have all the cold + flu medicine i need from last time [am sick]#4. i have a friend group of socialist mormons who are going through the same thing as me right now#5. i have brazilian citizenship so worst case scenario i move to Acre and you never see me again#6. i have running water. i love water#7. i had a potato for second breakfast today#8. it is cold outside but i am in a warm room#9. i am going to stay alive no matter what#10. the Lord understands me even when nobody else in this Goshawful red state does#tumblrstake#lds#mormon#sparrow squawks#humor
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At rest, your lungs wish to deflate, and your ribcage expands outwards.
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Friday the 13th!#This is scientific fact btw!#Ventilation operates through a series of active and passive forces#The active forces being muscular contraction with inhalation and exhalation having their own set of muscles.#but the interesting part is the passive forces at work:#The lungs have a certain level of elasticity to them - meaning the more they expand the more the those elastic forces are functioning-#-to try and return the system to rest (exhalation passive forces). Your diaphragm is the main force - pushing against the lungs at rest.#Your ribcage on the other hand is under a state of being pulled outwards. It *wants* to be as open as possible.#These to contradicting forces create a constant push and pull which assists in the ebb and flow of air. Most significantly with exhalation.#Now that being said - the primary action of inhalation ventilation is through control centers in your brainstem.#If you lose connection to that due to trauma you're going to need ventilation assistance.#Small note: Respiration is the cellular event of chemical exchange in the alveoli. Ventilation is airflow and pressure.#They are both important but also very different things. Sadly used interchangeably.#My anatomy nerd brain is screaming over the inaccurate ribcage...but its...recognizable. I will get it right one day.#Okay nerd rant over (I cut out a lot of stuff about pressure gradients. They are cool. To me.)#This is a redraw of an mspaint doodle I made back in april. I yearn to make the Yiling Laozu eerie as he deserves#Tear that bitch (affectionate) apart!#Been playing around with hatching for a while and its amazing how many styles there are! Not sure I'll stick with this one (but it was fun)
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Got inspired by this and had to
#shinji ikari#kaworu nagisa#kawoshin#neon genesis evangelion#nge#toma draws#managed to set up my art stuff in the place we're staying at and immediately used it for evil#love how after kawoshin week i was like 'yay i can finally get to non kawoshin wips ^_^' only for it to be the first thing i draw after 😭#in my defense i also didn't get around to drawing for a while and kawoshin kept me going during the fuckass flood situation in my state#(i'm doing ok btw :3👍we have a nice place to stay while we wait it out and our house seems to be mostly water free despite water around it)#btw i forget if i mentioned it but i started posting art on twitter for kawoshin week and ended up sticking around after#so i'm also there now :] (i'm tomaturtles there too)#worry not though.... i may have been quiet on here lately but tumblr is still my house
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I've been with [Joe] for a long time now and I ain't never seen him fall off, feel sluggish about himself you know? I don't know if he does but I always pick him up too, doesn't matter if he's seeing it or not, I'm picking him up, he's picking me up...
x
#FASCINATED by the 'doesn't matter if he's seeing it or not' statement here#does he mean it doesn't matter if joe is actually feeling down on himself or not?#ja'marr will always be around to pick him up just in case he does?#(which goes back to a lovely conversation i had with annie about how much ja'marr may or may not really understand joe!)#like ja'marr is always observing joe and trying to take care of him. and there are moments where he's like#'yeah he probably needs picking up now! but who knows! i'll do it anyway!'#(and he's probably right!)#OR does he mean 'doesn't matter if he is noticing my efforts of trying to take care of him'#'i'm taking care of him for his sake and i don't care if he notices'#which also makes me feel MANY things#and then of course stating that joe is always picking him up too <3 <3#joe may not be the easiest to read but he's reading everyone else#especially ja'marr#and he knows ja'marr's been struggling and he's been there for him too!#(which is why he was the FIRST to get to ja'marr last sunday during the Incident. no one else even tried!)#anyway! boy oh boy lot's of feelings about this#also the automatic agreement of 'he's an interestingly intense cat' lmao#ja'marr chase#joe burrow#joe'marr
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they all know my shit hot!
#mike nesmith#the monkees#edit#.mp4#im being so fr when i say this thing has had me in a fugue state#but its done now. my magnum opus
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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Omg, is there any more about Odonii battlefield performance?
Faiza giving a full battlefield performance, which includes grimacing, sinister looks, letting out terrifying war cries, and banging on her shield with her dagger's pommel. She's wearing a full set of armor, which is functional but highly decorative. A squire will be present somewhere nearby to carry the rest of her weaponry.
As mentioned in the other post, Odonii generally do not actually Participate in fighting. Their perpetual armament and training to correctly Use this armament has predominantly symbolic functions, with their bodies as vessels for state and military empowerment and integrity.
Their normal role on the battlefield is:
a) Spiritual protection for their associated warriors and intimidation of enemies.
Their role is partially to be the ‘guardian lion’ figure in human form, their presence and performance in of itself is considered metaphysically protective. This guardian lion nature is played up and reinforced with their dress and behavior- they wear lion skins over their armor, paint their faces red to obscure human features, perform war cries tailored to sound inhuman (not like lions, just a very shrill and frightening sound). They perform ‘frenzied’ movements that intend to evoke an enraged animal- pacing, banging on their shields, biting their weapons/shields, baring teeth, exaggerated glances that emphasize the whites of their eyes, etc. This can be a disturbing sight- reassuring to their allies who know a frightening spiritual guardian figure is on their side, and demoralizing to an enemy (the latter especially in conjunction with common beliefs that Odonii are witches/shapeshifters)
b) A motivating factor to get the men to fight more bravely.
This is partly out of religious belief (you will probably be a little bolder if you feel reassurance that God is very much present and on your side, via Its priestesses), partly out of esteem for the order (you are highly motivated to perform for their recognition and protect them from harm). In a way, their role on the battlefield is the Least masculinized aspect of their performance- they are in part there to remind men of their mothers, wives, and daughters, who they are supposed to be the protectors of and whose benefit they are ultimately (at least deemed to be) fighting for.
In some cases, this is taken to a (cultural relative) extreme wherein they will expose their breasts towards their own men as a part of battlefield performance, in the form of a supplicatory gesture (bearing the breasts and thumping on the chest with a fist). (The Odomache’s nude body should never be publicly seen under any circumstances, limited and controlled exposure by Odonii Can be appropriate). Breasts are not sexualized in this cultural sphere, but are not treated as neutral body parts either, instead having values of motherly nurturing and feminine vulnerability projected onto them. Odonii showing tits will be a DISTINCT reminder of the ‘vulnerable female’ elements that the men should be protecting, and can be highly motivating (especially in the context of a figure who is otherwise behaviorally ‘masculinized’, it’s jarring and can have useful emotional impact).
c) General spiritual leadership (in connection to a & b).
Weapons dances are an aspect of military training and the kagnoma odo dance is always performed prior to conventional battles, Odonii lead these dances. This has multifacted functions- it is believed to spiritually bless the troops, it is a means of practicing with weaponry/limbering up, it is a psychological rallying point and good for morale, and it may intimidate your enemy who can see it happening from a distance (by displaying readiness/eagerness to battle, good discipline, unity, and physical might). Odonii also perform personalized blessings of soldiers, weapons, and armor.
c) Filling gaps in the command structure or acting as commanders
Odonii are involved in strategic meetings, and ones who receive battlefield roles are very well studied in military tactics. As a matter of technicality, their commands to the body of Imperial Wardi troops do not override those of generals or other ranking soldiers (though they will often be deferred to regardless), but they can fill in gaps in the command structure in case of death of high ranking soldiers or if lines become scattered and communication breaks down.
Additionally, there are two elite warrior orders presided over by the Odonii priesthood (the rest answer directly to the Usoma's court appointed general), with senior Odonii as their commanders and the Odomache as their general. (This is one of many political tension points between the priesthood and monarchy, given that the Odonii have managed to get themselves about 200 high skill, firearm'ed warriors that are separate from the normal military structure, only as loyal to the Usoma as their current general is, and Very beloved among the public so you can't just like, outright kill or disarm this very obvious threat.)
d) A strategic flexing of eastern seaway honorable combat norms
Conventions of honorable warfare have broad commonalities across the eastern seaway peoples, one of which is that noncombatants (by default- women, girls, prepubsecent boys, unarmed elderly men) are not legitimate targets in the normal process of open war (but are fair game in contexts like sieges when a foe has refused to surrender on behalf of their population). Odonii being armed throws a wrinkle into this - they are still effectively ‘noncombatants’ by virtue of being women, but if they actually Engage in fighting they do present a threat that could be justifiably neutralized.
If they do not actually Use their arms they are not legitimate targets, and an enemy concerned with honorable combat will have to work around their presence (or risk social/retaliatory consequences if he does not). They are thus effectively human shields- at the very least introducing an additional layer of difficulties for an opponent to navigate, and sometimes actively putting their bodies between their men and their opponents.
e) as a factor of D, potential mediator figures.
When in conventional battles, Odonii on losing sides are usually expected to allow themselves to be captured without resistance. They stand a very high chance of being taken alive and remaining unharmed due to a combination of factors- baseline honorable warfare practices (which are ABSOLUTELY not always followed, but at least Influence behavior), fears of material consequences in retribution for harming the priestess, fears of spiritual consequences for harming a potentially powerful witch, knowledge that releasing an Odonii unscathed may give the captors a better negotiating position down the line, or knowledge that an Odonii is a very valuable hostage and can make for a good bargaining chip.
Because of this element, captured Odonii are expected to perform mediation roles, negotiate the release of hostages, carry messages from their captors, or bravely tolerate hostage conditions (ideally while gaining intelligence on their captors)
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Odonii very, very rarely actually participate in combat (and are in fact not Supposed To in the vast majority of circumstances).
They are, however, fairly well equipped for it. Their perpetual armament is symbolic in nature, but its intended function of empowering their bodies and the state by proxy additionally requires them to know how to Use It. They are trained and regularly drill and engage in mock battles in each of their key weapons/defensive combinations (sword, sword and shield, spear, spear and shield, longgun, handgun) and are expected to be adept at their use. Odonii who attend battlefields, while not being directly engaged, are still in very high-stress and dangerous environments and will have to learn to stay calm and collected under duress. All this doesn't mean every Odonii would be a skilled warrior in an actual combat situation (given that most will have no experience fighting someone who is actually trying to Kill Them), but it does mean they have enough technical skill and mental fortitude to stand a decent chance.
The only times where they are SUPPOSED to actively engage is when a battle is deemed as an existential struggle and is being lost (in practice, the main context for this is a siege), or losing against a foe deemed so thoroughly depraved that they won’t even slightly follow wartime conventions. The idea in these situations is that they are most likely already doomed, and that they should die protecting their people in battle.
Wardi history is filled with stories of Odonii fighting and dying in desperate conflicts (particularly against Imperial Bur), but this is at least Partly historical revisionism (there WERE some women in proto-Odonii roles involved in these conflicts, but these retellings project the modern Odonii order onto its multiple progenitor practices).
Odonii are frequently present on battlefields, but there are only two major instances of modern era Odonii participating in battle as full combatants, both involving conflict with Finnerich
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The fully modern incarnation of the order can be defined as starting in the late period of Burri occupation, in which multiple Wardi city-states and kingdoms allied against a common foe, and the separate progenitors of the Odonii tradition began to coelesce into a single practice. These alliances were mostly dropped after Burri withdrawal, and the immediate post-withdrawal period was a chaotic scrambling to politically stabilize and assert old territorial claims- thus most Wardi states resumed hostile or indifferent relations with one another. (The one exception is that Wardin and Ephennos remained allied, which shortly would become a Big Deal). Forms of early Odonii now existed throughout most of these states, just not united under a single banner.
The city of Godsmouth was blockaded and besieged by Finnerich during this period (taking advantage of its historical rival’s weakness in the political chaos of de-occupation and hoping to capture or at least maim the city), and some of these early Odonii were involved in this conflict and are known to have engaged.
Godsmouth was a rival to its neighboring states more than anything else- there was little reason for others to send aid in the conflict, and it was left to fend for itself. It was and is a heavily fortified city, and thus the siege lasted for months, with the strategy turning to starving the population out rather than the risky maneuver of throwing troops at well-defended gates to force entry. The Finn forces never managed to breach the inner walls, but were very successful at starving the city's population, raiding its farmlands and villages, and destroying its ports and capturing or burning its ships, all with minimal casualties on their side.
The strategy of the siege finally turned to a risky push to breach and capture the city (due to Finnerich’s own dwindling resources and logistical difficulties in restocking due to storms at sea, and news that an allied Wardin and Ephennos had, in an unprecedented move, been persuaded to send reinforcements (in return for Godsmouth's sworn fealty and absorption into their alliance)), and Finn forces succeeded in breaking through the outer walls. This developed into a very dramatic standoff in which the remaining warriors and/or civilians of Godsmouth attempted to fend off the attack long enough for reinforcements to arrive (which would take days by sea).
Odonii are very famously known to have fully engaged in this stretch of the conflict on the front lines, as it represented an existential threat to the city-state (it’s a fortified settlement, if it was captured, reinforcements would not matter). Some of the recountings are distinctly fanciful (describing Odonii and noblemen leading Siege Of Helms Deep style khaitback charges into masses of enemies, or SWEARING that one of them actually did turn into a lion and ripped apart a hundred Finns before she succumbed to her wounds). An At Least Partially True Story With Exaggerated Elements of the final days of the siege describes the Odonii priestess Hibrides Odiboe rallying a group of elderly men into battle by baring her breasts and scratching deep, bleeding wounds into her chest, declaring herself as 'your mothers, your wives, your daughters, and look how I bleed while you hide behind your walls and wait to die.' While accounts have fantastical elements, it is factual that Odonii priestesses fought and died defending the city's inner walls, notably filling command positions left vacant by slain or starved leaders and rallying citizens to the front lines.
The end of the siege was ultimately a pyrrhic victory for Godsmouth- the city was never actually taken but its population was starved and riddled with disease, its farmlands were burned, and its ports were destroyed. Finnerich forces retreated before reinforcements arrived after failing to break through the inner walls in time, but had succeeded in most objectives of severely wounding their historical enemy. It has been a source of collective trauma in Godsmouth since that point (it is now out of living memory, but vivid stories remain of seeing the dead eaten by dogs and the starving eating the dogs that ate the dead, watching family members succumb to disease and starvation, all while hearing the sounds of fighting draw closer and closer with no reason to believe that any help would ever come), but ultimately recontextualized as a victory, a turning point in the arc of modern history. (The Wardin-Ephennos-Godsmouth alliance, which formed in full as a result of this conflict, would become the triple state that conquered the rest of the region and formed Imperial Wardin).
The direct participation of Odonii in this conflict is heavily played up in the narrative as the order in its purest form as sovereignty incarnate, the priestesses bravely fighting for (what would turn out to be) the beginnings of the Imperial Wardi state. The 11 Odonii who died fighting in the siege have been bestowed sainthood and are memorialized in a series of guardian lion statue-shrines overlooking Godsmouth’s ports (in which their ashes and bones are stored).
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The other instance of modern era Odonii engaging in conflict is significantly less romantic, occurring in the context of the Extremely failed second invasion of Finnerich.
During and after the rout that resulted in the Odomache's capture and killing, it became exceptionally clear to the Imperial Wardi forces that They Were Fucked. The conflict veered with REMARKABLE speed from being an attempt end the state's civil war between the Imperial Wardi-loyalist provincial puppet government and its rebelling northwest population, to a desperate struggle for Wardi forces to get out of Finnerich Alive. At this point it was assumed (fairly accurately) that any defeated party would be summarily executed, so most Odonii present ended up directly engaging in battle. Two are known to have died leading soldiers in a bid to retrieve the Odomache's body, others fought and/or died while defending the retreat.
A few Finn Odonii (women appointed as a local sect of the priesthood after the initial takeover) remained in the capital after the Wardi forces fucked off overseas, and were executed along with the rest of the installed loyalist government and priests (though it's unlikely that they were involved in any fighting, as the provincial government surrendered after the withdrawal).
Odonii veterans of the invading force have not fared well in the aftermath. Most of those who survived the ambush in which the Odomache was captured have ended up committing honorable suicide due to breaking vows in abandoning their leader in retreat, failing to retrieve her body, and/or being assaulted in capture. More have committed (ostensibly ritual, probably emotionally driven) suicide in the years that followed, with the knowledge that their leader's death and defilement and this severing of God's spirit has brought doom upon their land in the form of an unbroken drought and famine, and that they failed to prevent this. The priestess who was captured alive to witness the Odomache's death and released unharmed to report it was the first.
All this has opened some vacancies in the order's leadership, and given things a very somber tone. It is currently in debate as to whether the ones who died on Finn soil (particularly those who died attempting to retrieve their leader's body) should be canonized as saints or if it's a little too soon for all that.
#As usual this veered off but likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whatever. It's technically all Sort Of about Odonii battlefield performance.#Just like. Imagining if Imperial Wardin was an actual historical state whose written language was never decoded. There would be SOOOOOOOOOO#much debating on whether they actually had 'warrior women' or not. So much.#And it would probably end up wildly mischaracterized in pop history circles who base their estimates of a historical culture's#level of gender egalitarianism almost entirely upon Can Girl Fight??????? Did Girl Fight In Epic Battles Though?????????? With Sord????#Almost completely unrelated but I'm downgrading the gun tech. Kind of severely. I'm okay with a little anachronism because it doesn't#follow an earth timeline but it's Too anachronistic for the rest of the setting.#Like I need the use of firearms to be VERY limited and not widespread so they need to be in basal stages. The main reason I originally#had much more advanced firearms was due to old lore that is now obsolete anyway.#They're gonna be a lot closer to hand cannons. Like a transitional form of hand cannon closer in shape to a conventional#rifle but without a mechanical firing method.#This means a lot of things I've drawn recently are now obsolete and the joke of Couya having terrible trigger discipline doesn't work#but it has been bothering me way too much I can't do it anymore
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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