#this is the shit my brain comes up with when im supposed to be actually writing
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burningcomputerpersona · 9 days ago
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second night of not being able to fall asleep since the new semester started. now im remembering why i stopped taking my adhd meds
#look im a fan of staying up late when it's done voluntarily but this is NOT voluntary#i need to get actual sleep bc i need to actually use my brain for school shit tomorrow and i only got like 2 hours of sleep last night#does my body care about that tho? noooo absolutely not no sleep for you for the rest of your life#even the benadryl isn't working anymore and I've already had 150mg#i need one of those chloroform soaked rags they use in movies when knocking someone out to kidnap them#just. im not fucking doing anything. this would be a much better use of my time if i used it to actually do shit like homework#but nooo i was too tired and wanted to go to sleep early but the sleep never came and the task is firmly stuck in tomorrow mode#and i don't even wanna do the tasks bc i never wanna do anything ever except when i take my adhd meds#but when i do take the meds i can't fall asleep. fucking fantastic#in the words of laura jane grace: i need a week long cocaine binge#wait that would probably make my sleeplessness worse tho nevermind#just. i thought this shit was supposed to be addictive. i just keep not wanting to take them#like the opposite of compulsive redosing or something#ugh ykw maybe i should just try fighting fire with fire#just keep going with the meds to see how long it takes until the lack of sleep is enough to overpower the insomnia#maybe i just need to be harder on myself. stop thinking about what i do or don't want#bc i keep getting stuck in this cycle where i try to find a way to convince myself why i should do a task#but end up only thinking of how i absolutely do not want to do the task#and decide to try being more constructive by asking myself what i do want#only to find that the one single thing i want is just to Not#and coming to the inevitable conclusion that i really just need to kill myself#except that's also a task i need to do that takes energy and i don't rlly wanna do that either so that's one bright side ig#ugh i hate this i hate complaining like if you don't like something abt the situation then fucking do something about it or suck it up#and here i am. doing neither.#i swear i need to be put down like a dog. where's that post abt getting into puppy play so you can be euthanized#welp. i guess it's a good thing i got a therapist before the semester started. he's gonna be in for a shock#mine#vent
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altruistic-meme · 6 months ago
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OUGHHH I FOROGR
#i was supposed to go to my sisters house ;;;;#in my defense i was planning to go to both of my sisters houses on the same day#except i had to wait for a confirmation from my other sister as to WHAT DAY would be good#and it is now 7pm on sunday. i had all weekend.#my sister never fucking replied to me <3<3<3 guess ill#uh#fucking uhh#NOT teach her crochet#but it's also v late to get up and go out on a work day >:(#and i couldve had this done earlier. i COULD have had this done YESTERDAY#of my sister had actually replied#but nooooo my brain got stuck in 'just wait for confirmation before finalizing plans' mode#and now it's fucking 7pm on fucking sunday when i texted her on fucking FRIDAY MORNING.#and i forgot to actually PLAN THIS OUT#BC I WAS STUCK IN WAITING MODE.#gods. im just.#hhhhhhh#and now i have to figure out a different time for this bc i cant. i cant go out and do shit at 7pm.#sigh#my other sister is gonna be annoyed about it and i know that#shh ac#edit: cus i dont feel like adding on to it#but yeah i kinda figured i would get a response like that 👍#tbf my message was a little passive aggressive but like dude. i was ALSO in a shitty space all weekend.#its sooo funny that she seems to think that shes the only one who ever gets into shitty moods. lmao. lol even.#and im not saying i dont understand not responding to texts when in a bad mental state-#hell i left my mom on read for 2 days and i still have other messages ik i should respond to#but like. when it comes to messages that are time sensitive like that like. i could accept a 'no not this week' or whatever#its just#urgh
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cetoddle-archive · 1 year ago
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therapy was interesting she kinda just out of nowhere asks if i like writing and i was hesitantly like….yes……and she got all excited she was like you should really pursue that. i think that’d be great for you. and i was like thank you but why are you saying this. i don’t remember exactly what she said cause i think i blacked out a little but basically said im very well spoken and deliberate with my word choice and she said she’d have been very surprised if i said i don’t write at all
#im trying to remember what exactly she was saying but my brain kind of short circuited#i was like oooo im being praised i think this is great -w- and barely processed what she was saying#i told her a little bit about all the work i’ve already done on some of my projects and she seemed genuinely impressed ..#but maybe she was just being nice..but then she yells at me when i say things like that#so i guess i’m going to choose to believe she was being genuine because she’d yell at me for thinking otherwise#she’s really encouraging me to continue writing and i’m stressed ;-;#she asked why i don’t consider pursuing it more seriously someday and i was like well#i just don’t think it’s realistic#she asked why and i kinda just.#well laurie i don’t actually know i just feel it in my bones i suppose#she went >:(#i told her a little bit about the kind of stuff i like to write and she got all sad cause i enjoy writing horror stuff#she’s like aw :( i’ll never be able to read any of your stuff i get scared so easily :(#that made me actually laugh for real#maybe this comes as a surprise to some of u i talk abt it sometimes but i do actually write short stories a lot#i just have literally never shared them with another living soul cause i’m fairly certain they’re SHIT. but i do it#i stay silly !!!!#sigh…#id like to have told her more about my bigger projects but whenever ppl do try and ask abt it#i just freeze up like oh it’s silly..it’s just something i do as a hobby irs nothing serious don’t mind me…#😖#i like writing but i don’t like talking about my writing#anywaysss#snow.txt
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angstyaches · 2 years ago
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Writers, what verb is predicted when you type your OCs' names into your phone?
Shayne frowned
Charlie looked
Elliott turned
Felix would
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rampant-testiculitis · 1 day ago
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the stars aligned in my personality so that everything i convey is either a warped version of what was intended something blatantly different
#based off what the earth sees you would think i have a lethargic personality#or that i dont react with extreme emotional volatility#and in the same vein that i dont give a shit about anyone or their problems#its not that i dont care about someones issues specifically#i lack that ability in general#i can look back at something i was feeling a minute prior and not relate to it at all#yet somehow at the same time#im hyperfixated on myself#almost everything that i dont grow tired of could be vaguely described as progressing a skill whether literally or metaphorically#and an overwhelming majority of my mental depends on if im progressing/have already mastered#i am self absorbed to the point of brain neglecting everything else and allocating said energy towards my shit#i really dont care about human interaction at all except for the select few that i would truly label as close which lifetime is MAYBE 3#and although rare for someone to be affected i hate when it does end up doing that#i dont want people to see me not empathizing and interpret it as not seeing their issue as valid#it is not personal i just am incapable of displaying that#if i dont feel any sort of self pity how am i supposed to feel for external issues i have no experience with#me being super tunnel visioned doesnt make it any easier#and add on the fact that i cant directly convert emotions into actual communication only thoughts#i have no idea how to genuinely compliment or express discontentment with anything#any idea my brain conjures up is some forced unnatural line like#“i really like that its so cool and awesome” “come on dude really what a bummer”#only thing i sometimes say is “i hate that” but having one reaction isnt really better than having none#not at all unexpected since i havent put any effort to gain experience doing that nor do i really want to#i cant really put out anything that i couldnt take in#the times that i have been complimented i just think ok i guess#what am i supposed to do with that i dont even agree with the compliment#as i looked at this several hours after forgetting about it i fell victim to what i said#“i can look back at something i was feeling a minute prior and not relate to it at all”#dont even really want to post it anymore but it was too much typing to not post
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vatelixx · 3 months ago
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You are the knife (I turn inside myself),
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S2!Post-addiction!Spencer Reid x afab!BAU!reader
SMUT!! (and copious amounts of angst, and like a small amount of fluff to just… balance it out), Workplace rivals, aka, enemies to lovers (who are still enemies and would rather die than tell each other they’re in love).
──── autistic spencer (as per usual), evil evil reader (im being dramatic, kinda), they hate each other so much that they have to find a new way to crawl into each others skin.
Warnings: sub spencer, brat!spencer (a man gets glasses and suddenly thinks he can be defiant) brat!tamer!reader, HUGE corruption kink (someone keeps putting that in there???? it’s not me, i swear), first time for Spencer (i love a virginal nerd), restraints (someone has to pin him down), crying— like lots of crying, degradation (and a little praise because they work hand in hand), Spencer eats reader out like rent is due, reader says thankyou by destroying him, they argue mid-sex. They actually just argue constantly.
— warning: mentions of past drug addiction.
w.c: 9k (mostly smut, holy shit how is it 9k??? their arguments hiked up my word count im positive)
a/n: i know tumblr hates to see me coming with my Spencer Reid one shots. I wrote this at 3am when I was supposed to be studying for my latin exam, it’s okay. Uni will understand I had greater things to do. I promise i’ll get around to my requests this week, i just got possessed by the holy ghost and wrote this.
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Something, something, mindless torture. Spencer holds his brain, his intellect, in high regard. Proverbial accomplishments, Stanford Binet approved genius, he’s an outlier to most. And yet, the moment you start speaking, he has no thoughts beyond the domineering urge to throw himself off a cliff.
You’re late today. Chicago, you’ve both been sentenced, discarded to create a profile from the minimal information present. Forced proximity, the team have been trying to stifle this animosity shared between you for over a year now. It doesn’t work.
Here’s the thing, each member of the BAU has their own specialised feat: Penelope could be a cybercriminal, if she so wished, a tech-genius that has no qualms in tearing down firewalls. Morgan, adroit, an expert on the field, stereotypically strong, all running lines of muscle. Who wouldn’t want to be princess-carried away from danger by him? He’s also remarkably good at kicking down doors. Gideon has incalculable years of experience, a mentor.
The list stretches on.
But you and Spencer can’t both be the brains of the team. It’s unbalanced, skewed. A clash of intellect. Scales tipped in one direction, why does he always come up short? Why can’t he just—
Why, repeats as you push through the bureau, blanking the predictable, formulaic stares of various officers, trained officials, the usual mess. Why— why profiling? Why did you voluntarily choose to suffer your way through ceaseless cases of sanguinary?There has to be an element of masochism to your career; no one with a sane mind voluntarily decides to walk into an onslaught of serial killers and death.
The early mornings are always the worst; stumbling out of bed, deriving no sleep from the night, tangled sheets and restless limbs. “Don’t,” you push, padding into the office, met with Spencer’s hardened gaze. “Late night.”
“We haven’t been here for 48 hours yet, 36 and 22 minutes to be precise, and you’ve already—“
“Get your mind out of the gutter, boy genius. Late night as in I stared at the casefiles until my mind went numb.”
“Did you take a break?” he asks, and you both know it’s not born from care. “Maybe a self-reflection period to realise that torturing yourself isn’t the most effective form of work. Your reactive skills will be delayed now, let’s hope we don’t find the unsub today. In fact, maybe I should warn Hotch—“
“Have I ever warned Hotch about your breakdowns?” that shuts him up. It also makes him spiral, because you can’t know, it’s not statistically possible that you’d be aware of Hankel’s lasting impact on his body, dilaudid, hydromorphine, and not tell someone. He assumes you’d be desperate to eliminate him from the team, to claim your win.
“Right, um— the case,” he shifts in his seat. Professionalism, tolerance, it’s all a little too much work when it comes to the subject of you.
“The case.” you agree.
You’re attuned to each other, a psychological curse he’s forced to stomach. Offices and crime scenes, analysing, competing, hellbent on one upping the other. “Look at these markings—“ his hands rifle through the files that adorn the table, searching searching until they produce an autopsy report.
The markings on the body are intricate, latin symbols prominent against the victims pale skin. You lean further forward, following the path of his index finger as it traces the outline. Perhaps there’s an element of telepathy to your dynamic; you don’t need to state the obvious, too aware that his brain has already processed the information, that he’s moved onto the nuances now.
Human sacrifice, it’s not the first time you’ve caught yourselves in the midst of cult worship and indoctrination. But it’s certainly the first time of its kind.
“Traces of wine in her bloodstream. Found in a forest. Sounds like a bacchanal.” you state, shifting to pull yourself up on the desk.
Spencer looks. At your long, slender legs extending out from a pencil skirt. Effortless, natural, situating yourself on the oakwood, hair half covering your face, with loose strands pooling over your eyes to obstruct your sight.
It’s a strange analogy, the two of you; Spencer with his tired eyes, haphazard clothes and messy desk, and you, just as dishevelled in the morning light.
Metaphorically and literally you’re higher than him right now. He fixes his askew glasses. Clears his throat. “Regina Horthorne,” the victim, “Straight A student. Honour role. What are the chances she willing went to said… bacchanal?”
“Hm. I don’t know, maybe she’s like Laura Palmer. Double life. 4.0 cheerleader by day, crazed bacchante by night.” you retort.
Shamelessly, you take a moment to observe him, just as he did you. Shirt sleeves bunched up at his elbows, hair tousled, large hazel eyes, interminably darting across your face. You wonder for a moment if he’s analysed you the way you’ve analysed him. It’s a futile question, of course he has.
Anything to gain the upper hand.
You continue, “Maybe they’re sacrificing virgins. You could go undercover as a potential victim. Certainly fit the part.”
“I’m already too old to be counted as an appropriate victim. There’s a high probability ‘they’, the dominant unsub, wouldn’t even look at me, and—“ he pauses, pretty face marred by creased features, brows furrowed, a slight pout to his lips.
“There’s a homicidal cult preforming human sacrifice, and you’re wasting time by insulting me?” Spencer is….. a perpetual scholar, a social disaster, wearing his intellect like an ill-concealed secret, outcasted for the weight of his own brilliance. “The BAU clearly made a well-informed decision when they hired you.”
“Oh, you wound me boy genius.” you respond, pressing your hand against your heart.
Endless cases. The impenetrable presence of fall. It feels like you shift through cycles, bleary-eyed and tainted from the job, damaged goods— do you struggle to sleep like I do?
You lean forward, hands, adorned with cluttered rings, braced against the table, bodies closer now. There’s a burn, something fervent that lingers between you, rivalry, opposition. Some days you feel as hedonistic as the unsubs you track and chase.
Continuing, you let out a sharp laugh. “Are you still bitter because I realised it was a bacchanal before you? Don’t worry, i’ll let you take the credit for it. I’m sure Gideon will be so impressed.”
Gideon sees everything in him, and nothing in you. Predictable.
The distance between you has become almost null. It’s intimate, and he’s not sure how he feels about that. “I’m not bitter. And I don’t care about the credit.” A lie. “Unlike you, I don’t need to prove my worth to him.”
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Spilt blood. Your hands are calloused from holding a gun. From firing a bullet straight through skull. The case closes, locked behind that inviolable wall, the one that’s installed into your mind the moment you’re employed, the moment you sign your fate over to the BAU. You’re not sure why anyone stays, overworked and undervalued, there’s no heroes in real life. Maybe it’s the sense of family, or maybe it’s just what everyone subconsciously fell into.
You can’t understand why you’re so angry at Spencer, why it extends to the next case, South Dakota— deaths of locals, but these days, all of the illogical, petty reasons just blur together. Create this tangled mess of overcompensation. ’I assumed you two would get along,’ Prentiss had stated— but what does she know? She’s been an active member of the BAU for a whole 10 minutes.
The hostility has mounted to new levels now.
It’s hard work, long hours, no gratitude and a pay cheque that can’t even begin to cover the trauma that comes with the job. The BAU is like self-sabotage: a long list of reasons to leave, and no real reasons to stay. But still you’re both stuck in this loop.
South Dakota, of course it’s South Dakota. Cold, desolate South Dakota where the wind and snow will not let up, and the team are forced to remain cooped up in a cheap motel, desperate for any sort of entertainment.
Here he is, coerced into your room to work on the case, overtime, his eyes are rimmed crimson.
You’re sprawled out across the bed while he sits at the other end, slender legs crossed. Spencer is tired with a weariness that seems to go soul-deep, shoulders slumped forward, glasses oblique.
The tension is near-palpable, stifling. “I can do this myself. No offence,” full offence, “but you’re unneeded right now. In general, really.”
You make him cruel. Or no, maybe this job does? He can’t remember himself unscathed now, fresh-faced to the BAU, unaware of what he’d endure. It’s still early days in recovery, two months since he was entirely, indomitably reliant on Dilaudid.
“No you can’t,” you retort. Maybe it’s unprofessional, disreputable to waste so much breath on insults, to dedicate specific moments to hostility— people are dead, people will keep dying. And yet, perhaps there’s justification for this; your mutual animosity is the only semblance of routine to this job, the only way either of you can seek control.
Control. All you do is reach for the blade.
“You’re just bitter that I know what I’m doing. You’re not infallible, Boy Wonder. You need my help, so shut up and read that autopsy report. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can go back to my apartment and forget you exist.”
Well that’s certainly unlikely.
“I think,” he says, and he knows this is going to be bad. He can feel the serrated edge to his forming words, his half-baked analysis too focused, too distracted, by his need to hurt. But he’s exhausted, and these days, he runs on a detrimentally short fuse. Maybe he finds a release in your dynamic, or maybe it makes everything worse. How can something be everything and nothing at the same time?
“I think you’re insecure” he continues, “because you know Gideon values me more. That, to him, you’re replaceable. It’s why you’re so fixated on one upping me. Why you feel the need to prove yourself superior. Textbook insecurity. You can’t stand the fact that he chooses me over you, that he thinks I’m better than you. That my input is more wanted, more necessary.”
This is uncharted territory now. It’s never been pushed to this extent. It’s never gotten so morbidly cruel that his words actually pierce. You’d consider yourself to be thick-skinned, bullet-proof, a mess of hardened edges and calloused flesh. But he regards you with such insignificance, in a way that’s different from your own personal view of him.
Obstinate, petty, a smart kid yet to meet his match. But never insignificant.
There’s silence, and then he’s dragging you down with him, forcing you to dig deeper, to smother wounds with salt. “Did he really choose you, though? No one on the team noticed. Not one person. After the Hankel case? When you came back different?”
Spencer falters.
It’s a vulnerable, raw spot, a laceration that never seems to heal; the worst part is that you’re right. He’d been in a spiralling decline for months, in plain sight, but everyone had been so absorbed in their own issues and god he needed a release. No one noticed. No one ever notices.
That he has no life, no prospects outside of the BAU. That his existence has been one comicotragic mess of inexperience, missing the mark, missing the joke, the punchline, the fact that everyone was always laughing at him, behind his back, to his face, present or gone. It didn’t matter? Why would it ever matter to a bunch of washed-out teenagers?
He was robbed of his adolescence. And these days, he barely gets by.
Spencer’s eyes drift back to the files, avoiding your perusing gaze, if only you had enough decency to soften your eyes. Just once.
“You don’t get to bring that into this.” He murmurs. “Shut up.”
“You started this—“
“Are you 5?” he bites back, “I was making an observation.”
When he abruptly stands up, files clattering to the floor, discarded despite the prevalent case, you’re quick to follow after him, to chase him into the cheap motel corridor. Because no, he doesn’t get to walk away from this. Not when he laid the first blow, when the first cut was drawn from his blade. Perhaps it’s perverse, to chase the hurt that comes from being around him. Maybe it’s all just an elaborate way to self-harm, to find release in the distorted relationship you both share.
“Where are you going? You can’t walk away from this one.” you state, gripping his arm. Nails pressing into skin, crescent marks that’ll stain and remind and then ache— it’s repetitive now.
“I covered for your ass.” you knew about the addiction, you knew, and even though omitting such information to the BAU could’ve lost your license, you still. Didn’t. Say. Anything.
It’s not like it took much effort to discern the truth.
“I also signed your email up to about 100 rehab centres and self-help blogs.” you’re not sure if you did that out of malice, or if it was your own, interpersonal way of minimising the damage, despite the circumstances.
You noticed. The rest of the BAU, who pressed false promises of friendship, loyalty into his shaking palms didn’t notice. Didn’t even think to humour what he became at his worst. But you did.
Furthermore, to add onto that jarring conclusion, you helped him. Admittedly in your own insufferable, (downright mocking) way. But it was help, and that’s more than he’s ever received before.
All he knows right now is that he hates you, hates the person he is, the person this job, and the intransigent presence of you, forced him into becoming.
All he knows is that he’s stumbling forward, cupping your face (taking your grip along with it), and kissing you. Kissing you hard. Like he’s Icarus and you’re the sun, worth the inevitable burn, even if the touch is only momentary, even if it’ll seal his fate as foolish.
It’s a mess of harsh, rough skin, tousled hair and sharp teeth against soft lips. It’s like trying to grasp at stardust, his hands fumbling for purchase along your body, trying to push you closer, as if the chasm of space between you is unbearable, a distance that’s impossible to endure.
He laughs when you respond instinctively, a sharp excuse of a noise, muffled by your swollen lips, and he’s just kissing you through it because he hates you, he hates you— he hates you so much that sometimes he can’t breathe when you’re around.
You crawled under his skin a long time ago, made yourself a home there.
“I think I’d rather be held hostage for a second time than kiss you again.” he says, and he might’ve elaborated further, but his lips abandon such a notion to chase your own.
The kiss becomes more languid, more desperate, like he’s trying to find an answer in response to it. There’s a brief, agonising break, foreheads pressed together, a harsh gasp of air, before the moment restarts.
God you taste good. Feel good, he thinks. He’s never been this intimate, not beyond Lila, that fleeting mess in the pool. The two events incomparable, he felt something then, small and minuscule, not enough to pursue. But right now? Oh, In contrast, he feels everything now.
“I wish you were being held hostage. It’d be quieter,” you retort. It’s muffled, and you’re moving, bodies stumbling into obstacles as you relocate, when did you get to your room? It feels like natural progression, evolution, diminutive changes that you don’t even realise are occurring.
You bite his bottom lip, draw it between your teeth, ruin him for anyone else. Because isn’t that what you’ve been doing for years now? Hurting each other so profoundly that only you can bare the scarred aftermath?
It’s sick. It’s sick, and you wonder how petty comments, trivial work-place rivalry distorted into this? How you’ve just ended up sick because of each other, and admittedly, for each other.
What is sickness without pleasure?
He whimpers. The noise almost imperceptible, but it’s there, and it’s pathetic, an unbecoming thing caught somewhere between a gasp and needy whine. He’s backed against the wall now, and he can’t find it in him to complain.
“Of course it would be you,” he says breathlessly. For all the knowledge he lacks here (physically; he’s well-versed in the hypotheticals of anatomy), he doesn’t feel pure.
People like him don’t get that.
He should feel guilty. He should recoil at the touch, at the knowledge you bear, at the reality of this. Except, for some unknown reason, he relishes in the idea of someone having him, even if the cost is his pride, his dignity, even if the cost is you.
He whimpers again as your teeth rake along the slope of his neck, shuddering at the sharp sensation, and he’s almost begging, words on the verge of being uttered.
But he can’t. Because that isn’t him when he’s with you. “Are you going to punish me? For uh, everything I said tonight? Because ah, god, I’d like to see you try.”
Admittedly, it’s not hard to break his resolve. A few more soul-crushing kisses and your wandering hand, dipping beneath his trousers, hard. Obscenely hard. Yes, he’s muttering as you unclasp buttons, as you loosen his trousers to the extent that you can palm him through his boxers. Half-choked gasps escape his bruised lips with every touch, and he’s crying now. Pretty tears streaming down his face, accentuating those doe-wide eyes of his, now glossy and warped.
“Only person who’s ever touched you, huh?” you state, and maybe you derive pleasure from that concept. That only your hands, drenched thick with staining blood, have ever scrutinised the warmth of his skin. The areas where his form curves, and the areas that make him come apart, undone at the seams. Grasping you, relying entirely on the wall, just to remain upright and somewhat conscious.
He makes another noise, another guttural, pathetic sound. Because, yeah, it’s just you. It’s only you, and the thought should be unbearable, but the pleasure of having, being touched is too much.
He has to grasp the back of your shirt, nails digging into fabric, as a distraction, a way to centre himself, while the rest of the world falls apart. His words are scattered, broken and messy, and he finds himself saying things he’ll inevitably regret. “Please, I can’t-“
He’s supposed to hate this, hate you.
“Cant— can’t take it. Oh,” he wants to bury his face into the crook of your neck, but you’re gripping his jaw, forcing him to look directly at you. Glasses discarded, the view was blurry without the added layers of tears.
“Eyes on me, boy genius.”
He complies. Gaze locked, unable to look away, entranced by the way your pupils dilate, staring at you, like you’re artwork, something to be studied and broken down and torn apart, only to be rebuilt again once he’s had his fill.
“Let’s look at you. Hm?” you state, removing his sweater, then his shirt, and there’s so many layers, and he’s acting coy now, as if he wasn’t whimpering moments prior.
Instinctively, by reflex, he tries to cover himself up. To hide planes of untouched skin from your gluttonous palms. You grip his wrists, pin them above his head, and oh isn’t this a sight: Spencer Reid, entirely bare, bound by you alone, tear track marks and swollen lips.
He always wanted to be seen.
He just didn’t expect, anticipate, being seen to this extent. He can’t fight your trailing gaze, and he doesn’t want to; it might make him flushed, a few irrational movements away from a cardiac arrest, but this it— raw uncut intimacy.
You’re softer now, as you run your hand along his dick, earning a variety of muffled noises, as your thumb brushes over his tip, taking care to touch every part of him. Everywhere he needs it. When you finally wrap your fingers around him, everything burns, fervent and collapsing, and he supposes this is what it felt like the moment Troy collapsed.
“Mhh,” he moans, hips bucking in time with your palm, steady movements.
He’s already so messy, and it should be embarrassing, but all he feels is the blunted edges of pleasure, the jagged cut of humiliation, warring against each other.
“You’re— oh.. you’re enjoying this far too much,” he manages, and it takes so much energy to get it out, his words slurring, interrupted by debauched gasps.
It feels good, so good that he can’t process the shame that’s bound to follow. He hates you, and he might be a little in love with you, and it’s not fair to process feelings, chemicals, he was never supposed to obtain.
“That it’s. There you go. That’s my good boy.”
Spencer sobs.
“Shh, shh, I know, I know, it’s a lot.” there’s always an element of condescension to your words. An undertone that rips through his defences. Destroys him in the process.
His body is receptive, ruined, because of the praise. He’s not sure how you can look at him, clearly, consciously, and dictate that he’s good. Most days he feels impure, debased. Burnt-out and wasted, the great always fall.
The same skin he pierced with needles is now reverently on show, and you should be cruel, it’s what you’re both good at, the only viable way to communicate, an undisclosed secret language. But you’re not. That confuses him to no extent.
“I can’t— cant, ‘m so close.” his arms are still bound above his head, and despite the ache, he keeps them there. It’s not the most conventional ‘first time’, but he takes it regardless.
“Yeah?” you mutter, pace picking up. The sound is obscene, his excessive pre-cum smeared across his length, wet noises with every stroke. “You wanna cum for me, hm?”
“Oh god,” he breaks, “Yes— yes, please—“
You have no interest in denying him, not when he’s this destroyed from a mere hand-job. “Go on then. Just because you asked so nicely.”
He falls apart. Dewy-eyed and blissed out, you force him to look at you as he reaches his orgasm. To keep looking as he squirms and writhes. So he does, because apparently his cognitive function has evaporated now.
Your tongue meets your palm, tasting him, pressing the excess into his mouth with an indecent kiss. Is this what sex entails? Complete submission, vulnerabilities bared wide? Dirty in that primal sense, the same one he always shied away from?
Finally, finally in the aftermath, he breaks his stare. His head falls back against the wall, eyes closed, neck exposed. Stifled gasps, it’s quiet, as if you’re both aware of your actions, the consequences of them.
“This is, uh— yeah.” he mumbles, reaching for his clothes; now the ecstasy has worn off, the shame overpowers. The sin of man, he’s starting to think you’re the personification of the serpent.
Or maybe it’s the other way around. He doesn’t hold his own body to such pure standards. He’s not sure any benevolence would look at him with acceptance. Not after everything he’s done to it.
“Hey wait,” you’re not good at this whole ‘nice’ thing, not when it comes to him. But there have been moments, in the past, small, fleeting seconds of…. you’re not entirely sure what to call them. Late hours spent scrutinising cases, your back-up points to his statements, mindless information dumps that the team can’t quite understand.
“Don’t make me chase you a second time, jesus.” You can’t just leave—“ you exhale, breathe, in and out, “Are you okay?”
He stops. He stops because you’ve never asked that question, never cared to ask that question, and maybe that hurts more than not being asked at all.
A part of him, the small part of him that’s not functional, wants to stay, wants to just stay in this bliss and pretend that it doesn’t matter, that the inevitable fallout won’t occur. But the larger, prominent part, reminds him that this isn’t right, that he needs to leave and collect his wits.
“I don’t know, im confused—“ he sighs, drags a shaky hand through his hair. “Yeah, im uh… i’m fine. “I just need to leave, I have to-“ he swallows. “I can’t. Not right now, I need to do— anything but this.”
He walks out on you and it’s fine.
────────────
Everything is fine, reality can return, and you can forget that you had his arms bound against the wall, that he fell apart from the weight of your dragging palm. You can pretend you never saw him naked, bare in every form of the word. Stripped raw, his lips burning against yours, skin on skin. It’s. Fine.
Life continues. Your dynamic remains the same, unrelenting, your biting words, just short of callous, his scathing remarks. Modus Operandi. You wonder how you’ve turned the most tender person into something sharp, and you wonder if it’s ever going to be reversible.
When the case closes, the BAU, in predictable, systematic fashion, celebrate (ease the weight) over drinks. You’re adorned in lace, a black dress that just catches your thighs. It’s late now, and by the time you arrive at the dive-bar, the majority of the team are intoxicated (you couldn’t go straight from work, there was still blood clinging to your skin).
Everything is fine. To reiterate.
It’s not.. It’s not. Because oh, Spencer finds himself staring. He’s fairly certain he doesn’t have any lingering interest. But then again, why is he fixated on the way fabric clings to your ruinous figure, the way your hair sits, slightly dishevelled, pooled over one shoulder? It’s exasperating and inebriating all at once. You shouldn’t be able to affect him to such an extent, and yet here he is, mindlessly staring at you with starry-eyes. He should look away. Leave even?
Of course, he fails. You end up squeezing in next to him, all leather seats and too little space.
And, okay, he knows he should feel guilty.
In reality, he’s not. Because, sure, he’s sat too close, and sure, he can just make out the scent of your perfume, faintly floral. But he’s intoxicated, just as everybody else is, and it’s making logic and reason seem far off, too distant to process. He looks at you once, then twice, like he can’t quite believe you’re tangible.
“You look nice, I guess,” he murmurs bluntly, looking away, feigning disinterest.
As if the ‘incident’ (as he’s taken to calling it) didn’t tilt his world on its axis.
“You also look nice, I guess.” you retort, and it’s the best you’re going to get out of each other. At least in this state (the surplus of praise that left your bruised, possessed lips cannot be justified, or repeated ever. again.)
You lean forward, watch as his face creases at the proximity. Are you thinking about the kisses? Plural, fuck, plural. Open-mouthed, desperate movements?You’re. not. Instead, you steal his glasses, slip them on. The prescription is strong, thick lenses that distort your perception.
“What do you think?” you ask, “I might go as you for halloween, it’ll definitely scare the kids.”
“They make you look intelligent. Considering you need all the help you can get, I’d take that as a compliment,”
It’s a domestic action, to put on his glasses. And the thoughts that burn through his mind stem from HR prohibited to domestic, which he argues is far worse. You, tangled in sheets, sporting nothing but his glasses. Resting against the tip of your nose, askew, as you ride him. As you tilt your head back, exposing— no.
He wants to say something about how ridiculous you look— but it’s hard to focus, you’re taking up all of his sanity, like a computer running multiple programs at once. You’re malware actually, destined to corrupt him (which you’ve already done to a painful extent).
“You can’t just touch my stuff.” he settles on, sounding more petulant than anticipated.
“Oh chill out, boy wonder. It’s a pair of glasses,” you mutter, removing them to blink blink blink, and there he is, the centre focus of your vision, now fully detailed again. It takes you a moment to render in his appearance: shirt sleeves rolled to his elbows, arms exposed, long, deft fingers. There’s heavy bags gathering beneath his eyes, dragging down those big, blown-out irises of his, wide and completely dirty (how is it that his natural resting face is so obscene?).
Focus.
You push the glasses back onto his face. Better, it’s a sight you’ve come to anticipate after he ran out of contact lenses. “There. Oh, were you just upset because you couldn’t see me properly? That’s sweet, Spence. Flattery will get you everywhere.”
He can see everything.
Every small detail of your face; strands of hair falling loose, dilated pupils, accentuated by heavy liner, obsidian that contrasts against your incisive eyes. Your lips, oh your lips, he could write a thesis on them. Stained crimson, if he were to kiss you right now, residue would catch against his own mouth, incriminate him.
He gets up. Excuses himself. Sometimes he wishes he could vanish.
But it’s not good enough.
“You,” he says between messy kisses, “Need to keep your hands to yourself.” — okay, he’s not sure how this happened. He left for the bathroom (to splash water on his face, gather his dignity, perhaps drown himself?) and you to humour the locals outside, gathering around with half-smoked cigarettes and slurring conversations.
But then, on his way back, padding through the long corridor (why is it always a corridor?), you were there, and yeah. He was screwed. Fatefully wrecked.
He had tried, in the moments leading up to his demise, to resist, but he was a man of logic and science and the science, when he was around you, simply did not apply. You’re bad for him, in every sense, he should avoid you, he should stay away.
But now, there’s no space between your bodies, no space for rationality or reasoning (god he’s tired of the thinking part. He just wants to feel).
The kiss is rough, sloppy, a desperate, messy thing. “This can’t keep happening,” he mumbles against your smeared lips.
“Do you remember last time?” you question. It’s taboo, to bring it up, to disclose the buried. But you’re fairly certain this compromising position wouldn’t exist without the lethal effects of that one night. The cheap motel and his body arching into your touch.
Rationality appears to be nonexistent now. A discarded concept.
Like last time, you guide him back against the wall, pin his hands above his head. Mirroring your actions. Well, to some ‘dignified’ extent. “Had you just like this,” you lean forward to press a series of kisses along the curvature of his jaw. “I bet you’d let me take you like this again, hm? Right here? In the middle of this shitty dive bar?”
And if he weren’t so far gone, he’d protest, he’d tell you that no, this is wrong, because you’re so wrong for him. He knows that if one good man has to fall, it shouldn’t be him.
But you don’t let good men rise, and there’s something so enticing about the depths of hell. He’s not sure he’s good anyway. It’s a complex situation. “You’re a sadist,” he murmurs, breathless, “I wouldn’t.”
Your grip instinctively tightens against his wrist, and he squirms. He’s nervous, “Could we, like… at least find a bathroom? I’d take a bathroom, even though there’s endless strains of bacteria there. Or, or split a cab. No, i’ll just pay— Anything. I’ll do anything. Just not here. This is a public space, and technically, public indecency, and—“
“Fuck,” he’s never been the type to swear, “I’ll do anything.” this time, he says it in self-defeat. Acknowledgment.
────────────
French exit. His wandering hands in the cab, and the electric pulse that burnt through his body as he kept a low profile, stumbling out of the bar, muttering thinly-veiled excuses for his abrupt departure.
The second you’re both inside your apartment, you’re clattering into things. “I love your eyes,” you state bluntly, forthcoming in every sense of the word, “Love it when you cry for me.”
You think of every harsh word that has ever escaped your lips, You think of the consequences they might’ve had. Did he ever cry over them? You know, in contrast, you never did over his. Though there was that sharp, sinking pain that felt like the embodiment of slow death. Something terminal, fated to linger, to eat and eat until nothing remained.
No big deal!
“It’s an involuntary bodily response. You’re a dacryphiliac.” he responds.
There’s not a lot he can compute right now, his brain too preoccupied with processing your touch alone. Which is so prominent, so harrowingly good that not even his genius mind can comprehend it.
He’s reasonable to believe he would kill whoever had the pleasure of experiencing you like this.
“It’s not a fetish if I only feel it for you—“
Spencer breaks.
“No-no-no,” he says, too loudly, “You can’t just- say those things. You can’t tell me you love when I cry, just because- I should be scared, of you. You’re volatile. Destructive,” he murmurs, head leaning against the crook of your shoulder. Against better judgement. But all reason has left him now. You’ve stolen it, taken it as a personal trophy to parade and boast about.
“Why am… Why am I not scared?” he asks, “It’s not like I make you cry…”
“Because there’s no reason to be scared.” you answer simply. And at surface level, it’s true. In spite of the hostility, the years of white-knuckled rivalry, you’ve always trusted him. It’s a coveted admission, considering you’re circumspect by nature.
You unbutton his shirt, let it fall to the floor, exposing his skin in the middle of your apartment. He’s standing there, and you’re not sure what to do with all of this want that perhaps you’ve misplaced as enmity for so long.
“You could make me cry,” you state, because if there’s one person out there capable of cracking you open, leaning behind fragmented pieces, it’s him. It’s always going to be him.
It’s a startling realisation. That he, Spencer Reid, of all people, can reach the centre of you in ways nobody has ever done before.
“Why would I want you to cry? That’s— i’m not even sure how I would go about it.”
You grip his hips, walk yourself backwards until you’re hitting a wall, there your body instinctively curves forward to meet his. “It doesn’t always have to be bad.” you explain, because he’s looking at it from a simplistic, textbook perspective. “Last time,” those words still feel like poison, “When I made you cry, there was no pain, right? You cried because it felt good.”
He’s staring at you clueless. Though, he might just be distracted. Either works.
Your hand catches his wrist, and then you’re hiking up your dress, guiding his touch beneath fabric. The lace panties that cover skin. He’s tentative, experimental, dragging his thumb over your clit, causing your hips to cant towards him. “Make me cry, boy genius.”
You act like this is the most indecent thing he’s capable of doing. From an unbiased standpoint, it’s up there on his list, but admittedly he hasn’t really done enough to constitute a list in the first place.
Spencer, in response, simply drops to his knees. Your panties are pulled down your legs in a disconcerting haze, and then he’s just groaning, cursing Gods he doesn’t believe in, spiting them with blasphemy, whilst also simultaneously thanking them, humouring false promises he won’t commit to.
It’s blasphemous, a prodigy on his knees, in front of you, for you. As if he’s worshiping something he can’t even comprehend, something beyond the expanse of his knowledge. And you just pull strands of his hair, pull at the strings of him.
His hands find the inside of your thighs, caressing the soft skin there and you make another noise, a noise that has him devouring you.
Face buried between your legs, he flattens his tongue against your clit, drags it upwards to catch wetness, to affirm that you’re just as affected as he. That since you touched him, all thoughts have consisted solely of you.
He doesn't think he's doing this correctly- but you're making noises, gasps that he didn’t even know you were capable of, and that's the thing about science or anatomy, whatever it may be, the brain is incredibly subjective, and the more knowledge you acquire, the less you really know.
And there's knowledge here, but it’s not utilised; no coordination, even when there should be, even when he’s got the human body memorised to perfection. Still, you seem to like him messy, desperate, drawing your clit into his mouth to pull, to tug, before shifting back to blow cold air against you.
The task was simple, at surface level: make you cry. And whilst, if you pick it apart, it becomes more complex, he seems to be efficient in following orders because right now, you’re ruined. It might not be the most meticulous head you’ve received (though you’re sure, under different circumstances he could probably surpass that standard), but it’s wanting, in a way that makes you ache.
“Oh oh, fuck— fuckfuckfuck.”
You grip his hair, twisting and pulling and using, and he lets you, he’d do anything, do this forever if he had to. His fingers, still gripping your thighs, dig into soft flesh, leaving visible marks. And he wants to see those marks, in the morning, an irrefutable fact that would force him to accept this as real.
But he can’t focus, can’t think about anything when you’re reacting like this, so undone. How can there be anything, at all, beyond this?
He lets you drape a leg over his shoulder, let’s you get off against his face, fingers sliding inside, one digit at a time, to feel warmth wrapped around him. To feel the way you clench when he curves them, when he grazes spots that he could explain to factual detail.
Your body shudders, and you’re making noises he hasn’t heard before, sounds that could only be described as obscene— and his name, you’re moaning his name, and god, he’s certain he would follow you to the ends of the earth right now. Without question.
It’s when he stops, when he leans back enough that he can breathe. That he can look at you, really look at you.
You’re messy, undone. The sight could be considered humiliating from an outside perspective, but you’re gorgeous, and he’d do this a thousand times over if it resulted in this exact reaction. A reaction that he’s given you. No one else.
“I love your face.” He says, a little bluntly. But it’s true, he does.
So he returns to the task. Practically situating you on his face now to suffocate him, to let him become some sort of extension to your pleasure. And inevitably when you fall apart, tears and writhing, boundless pleasure, he can only push you through it. Allow his existence to crumble, for the second time,
And as he draws back, face covered in you, he can only stare.
His knees are bruised. That’s the first thing you notice when you stumble to the bedroom, when you’ve taken a moment to wipe away evidence of the tears, to regather and compose yourself. It’s not in your nature to be soft, no to him, but you still find yourself kissing the mauve blemishes, working your way up his body after you’ve oh so unceremoniously undressed him. Reduced to his boxers, he’s an incriminating sight.
“Losing your virginity to me is like the biggest irony ever.” you say, kissing along his stomach, watching as his body reacts, arches, contorts in search of more pleasure. It’s a hypnotising sight, to see every nerve tuned to you solely.
“Ironic, demeaning, enough to send past versions of myself into an early grave. Yes, I get your point.” he mutters.
Your hands find their way to the waistband of his boxers, and he’s lifting his hips, because he wants you to undress him, because he’d let you do anything right now, but he also feels embarrassed, exposed. Vulnerable in a way he’s never felt before. You’re seeing him, seeing things he doesn’t even know himself. But there’s nowhere to hide, not while you’re slowly pulling off his underwear, with a care that he’s unaccustomed to.
“I won’t go easy on you,” you assure. Even though that’s technically a straight-faced lie. Of course it’ll be more tender than anything else you’ve endured; he has this devastating habit of softening those around him. It’s only taken this long to affect you out of pure, unbridled spite.
Oh, he wants. The evidence is his body alone. Laid out before you, like an offering, a hedonistic one. Dick hardened, dripping pre-cum onto his stomach.
“Hands above your head,” you watch as he blindly obeys, any defiance now crushed. Well, for the most part: at least in his actions. “That’s good— good boy. Tell me if they’re too tight,” you say, binding them with his discarded tie.
You stare, and it’s like you want to eat him alive, and against better judgement, he’d let you. Serve himself up, passive as you tear him limb for limb, taste all the bad parts of his existence, the ones he keeps hidden shamefully away.
“Too tight? I’ve been held hostage, I think I can handle a little bit of fabric.” he retorts before tugging at the restraints, “Tighter.”
“Didn’t realise you were so into this—“
“Neither did I,” he scoffs, “I’ve never done it before, obviously.”
“Now you have. Congrats, i’ll give you a sticker once we’re done. Gold star, huh?” and just for good measure, you tighten the restraints further. Just a few more pulls until you’re knotting it in place. Until he’s entirely defenceless, but realistically, what would you do? It’s hard to find fear when you’ve covered him on the field for over a year (he’s prone to being targeted, an unsubs wet dream).
“Yes, thank you. I’ll put the sticker on the wall next to my PhDs.” right now, right in this moment, countless people are getting what they want.
And Spencer is being manhandled by his pretty coworker.
Ironically, that’s exactly what he wants.
You’re the perfect dichotomy. Cruel, and caring. Harsh words to juxtapose gentle hands. Soft touches, but scathing remarks that linger, leaving behind a trail of scars, the ubiquity of your cruelty.
You’re lethal, and he’s smart enough to comprehend the danger. Except he’s never been smart when it comes to people.
Your hands are acquisitive, roaming, searching, blunt nails that scrape skin as you rake them down, down towards his abdomen. He shivers, bite into that pretty bottom lip of his until he’s spilling blood, and it’s a sight. Something sick that you both want to such an offensive extent.
“Sensitive.” you murmur, like the idea of him so reactive pleases you, in a way you’ve never considered before. Because the way his body strains, bucking forward to deepen the contact is maddening.
“Are you always like this?” you wonder aloud, leaning down to run a hand along the length of his inner thigh. “Poor baby, so touch-starved.”
“I don’t know if I’d use the word sensitive.” he replies, “More susceptible to the fact that you’re touching me, and that I haven’t felt another person touch me in a long time. And of course when people touch me, it’s usually professionals poking me with needles or stitching this weeks new wound.”
Touch-starved? He has sensory issues. The lightest graze can provoke, cause his skin to crawl. Of course he would like your touch, of course the universe would torture him by finding relief in the one person who nobody should stumble upon for relief.
“Oh you’re a soldier, you suffer so much.“ you state, and it’s condescending (naturally), but there is some truth to the serrated comment. You, the team, are all bruised, mentally and physically distorted from the consequences of the job. Only he could react so reverently to your calloused hands, blissed out to the extent that it looks like you’re witnessing ascension.
It’s pretty. Pretty, in a soft, domestic way. One that demeans his bound wrists and your sharp words.
You press a few tender kisses to his thighs, the inner sections, where you’re certain, assured, no one has ever touched before. Maybe there’s something possessive to that thought, the want to own, to know that no one will ever have him the way you have him.
Your touch is like a brand. He wants it, even if it’s bad, even if it’s cruel. Because the alternative to this is nothing. A lonely existence. A life of work, of chasing shadows, knowing he had so much to give, and no one to give to.
“Stop mocking me.” he replies, it’s through laboured breath. “Just because I don’t have your proclivity for taking hits doesn’t mean I don’t suffer.”
No one’s ever touched him like this. No one’s ever cared to try. You’re his first.
“I know you suffer,” you retort, are you arguing? Is this foreplay? If it is, then you have some serious self-reflecting to do on every single past conversation. Because maybe you should’ve taken him to your bed earlier, in that case.
Oh god was your hatred of each other built solely on sexual tension?
Finally, you move. Just like the first time, your hand runs across his length, taking him slowly, easing him into it, coercing him through the pleasure. It’s not similar to before: it won’t end after he’s found his release, and it’s not frenzied and ardent. Spurred on by shame.
“And you know i’m always going to take the hits for you, regardless.” he whines when you remove your hand, and whines again, for contrasting reasons, as you spit on your palm, generate lubricant to support each stroke.
“Oh—“ he breathes out. He’s fairly certain he’s supposed to be more contained. A huff escapes his lips and then he’s retorting, “You could try a tactic other than reckless self-sacrifice every once in a while.”
He’s overwhelmed, with you. All of you. The way you look, the way you talk, all the harsh lines and scathing remarks. The way you take the hits for him, an altruistic custodian, but he isn’t worthy of being saved. Isn’t worth the effort.
“Shut the fuck up, Spencer.” you say, promptly ending this discussion; you grip his dick tighter, tilting your movements to catch him at a better angle.
“Shit— okay, okay,” he moans because that feels really really good, and he wishes he could articulate it in a better way. Something complex and poetic, but it’s just so good.
He’s always been a little masochistic. Too smart for his own good, too analytical. He wants you to take him apart, piece by piece, and see the inner workings of his body laid out before you, raw and vulnerable. Because only you can see him like this.
He doesn’t even really touch himself. There’s been nights, body flushed and wanton, bucking up against sheets, muffled noises pressed into his pillow. But they’re rare, and they usually lead to an aftermath of ignominy.
He’s a prodigy, a genius in the field of criminal psychology. So why does it feel so good like this? To be humbled, to be demoted. As if all his degrees, his awards, his intellect, mean absolutely nothing.
He’s never felt so loved. Which is ironic. Because he’d always hoped love would be slow, gentle. Soft, like a caress. The kind of love you share over meals and pillow-talk.
He realises, with a jolt to his system, that if this is love to you, he’d accept it, in its most primal form.
“You get off on this,” he analyses as you draw back, mostly to stifle the begs that nearly escape his mouth. Come back, need you here.
“Well I’d be pretty concerned if I wasn’t getting off on this right now—“
“No,” he pushes, “You like that i’m, that yeah. I have no experience. You want to corrupt me, huh?” he looks up at you with pretty, innocent eyes. Holy shit. “Ruin me for anyone else? Go on, let me have it. I’ll only come back, i’ve already done it once. Statistically, it’s going to happen again. And again. Pavlovian responses, condition me. Make my body react to no one else.”
When you kiss him again, he can only take it. Can only moan, whimper, plead against your mouth until you’re lining him up, until you’re sitting on his dick, and everything is okay.
“You’re so—“ bottomed out, wrapped around him entirely, you sigh. “Fuck, Spence, who taught you to be so fucking dirty?”
“You.” he mutters, playing coy. “But you’re a bad teacher, I think I could do with a few more lessons..”
“I think you could do with learning to shut your mouth more often.”
“It is better suited for other purposes, I suppose..”
He gags when you slot two fingers, index and middle, into his mouth. No warning, no predetermined acknowledgment. They hit the back of his throat, and he can only suck, muffling protests around the digits until he goes blissfully silent.
“Better,” you retort. Drawing them out, you press your thumb against his bottom lip, keeping it parted so that you can lean forward, spit into his open mouth. When you first met, he promptly refused to shake your hand, too conscious of the dissemination of germs, now? He’s swallowing your saliva, unprompted, with little resistance.
You know him. The way you touch is like you’re searching for something. Anything about him. It’s like you’re a bloodhound, trying to unearth every single vulnerability. And you must’ve found them, because you’re suddenly here, bearing all your weight on him, moving, and it’s all his body can do to take it. All of it. All of you.
He tugs at his restraints, because he won’t go down without a susceptible fight. Even if he knows it’s fated that he will inevitably fall. “Please—please untie me, just wanna hold your hand.”
And, oh that shatters you. Like, mentally, physically, spiritually dismantles you until you’re breathless, staring at him with widened eyes and a loss of composure. It’s such a tender request, something domestic and raw, and mindlessly you’re fumbling with the knots of his tie. Freeing them to take one in yours.
It’s against your nature, but you can’t help, can’t refrain yourself from pressing a kiss against his knuckles. “You’re doing so good f’me. Such a good boy,”
Your free hand runs across his torso now, grazing skin, admiring the sight of him, flushed, debauched, sprawled out beneath you.
He grips your hip. That’s the first thing he does once he’s sufficiently sane, well… partially, the praise did knock him entirely off balance. Tip the scales, send him over the inexorable edge.
He watches as you take the incentive to slip off his body, and the loss of friction is okay, tolerable because he’s sitting up against the headboard, drawing you closer, whining for you until you’re on his lap, until you’re sat in your rightful place.
Here, he can kiss you. Which he admits has become a very vital aspect to his existence.
The kiss is like a bruise. Not rough, he’d never be rough with you, he’s all long, languid strokes and soft movements. But it’s overwhelming, and leaves discernible, lasting imprints.
And yeah, sure, kissing you is the closest thing to worship he has ever known. Something he would like to commit to memory, every single time your lips touch, it’s like he’s seeing god in the shape of your cupid’s bow.
“Please, I need—“ he stutters over his words, “If you don’t move, I swear—“ he pauses, his head falling against your shoulder— “I swear, I’m gonna die, this has to be against the Geneva Convention, you can’t leave me like this, please—”
“The Geneva convention? Really? Is this your form of dirty talk?” you retort, unable to muffle your laugh.
“No. I’m stating my rights,” he says, “Torture is prohibited.”
“I’m not torturing you—“
You tangle your hand through his hair, tug tug tug, and then pull, drawing his head back by tousled strands, forcing him to meet your gaze.
“Ohmyfuckinggod, yes. You are.” he whimpers.
It’s indefensible how good he feels, how he sinks into you, hitting crevices you’re certain no one else has ever grazed before. Feeling full, whole, it’s new. It’s your own first, and you can’t even begin to articulate how defenceless you are to the way it makes you disintegrate, fragment to pieces of pleasure. Spencer is warm, and soft, and it makes you want to cry. To just fall, give in, transcendence of self, Burke said, and right now, you feel that entirely.
His moan is unapologetic, unfiltered as you move. At this point, you could slice him open, leave him bleeding in your bed, and he’d thank you for it.
You hold his hand, and yet, simultaneously destroy him.
“Please,” he whimpers again— he’s too pretty to be asking so nicely. “I just— I want you closer. As close as possible, I want you so close to me that I’m not even sure if my body can handle it.”
It’s not dirty talk, it’s more like he’s begging you, tears staining his skin, pitiful eyes, wide and glassy, staring at you with some form of desperation. Brows furrowed, gaze soft.
And his gaze only grows worse when you do give him what he wants, when your pace fastens.
It’s a religious experience, like he’s about to be crucified, a martyr to his pleasure. He’s almost afraid to touch you— to stain something divine, like you’re too much for him. But you’re not.
“I like this. Like you. Like you here. You’re so good for me,” he murmurs, and it’s untruthful, but right now, he sincerely believes it. “so good, so perfect, all I need, please—”
“Stop it.” you bite, preferring him defiant over this— because this opens up wounds you weren’t even aware existed. “Oh fuck, stop it.”
“So good. You’re so good,” he cups your face, presses his forehead against yours, and you might as well just die right here.
“Says you.”
“Says me.”
You fuck him harder.
“Oh,” is all he can pronounce, little oh’s every time you rock against him, and he has to grip you hips, deepen the movements until you’re bouncing against him, up down up down, exploiting his sensitivity with a torturous pace.
And it’s not fair, he needs to balance the scales, so he runs his thumb over your clit, firm halos that have you keening. “If being nice got me this, I’d be so nice to you for the rest of my life—“
Another lie. But it’s worth it. If only for the way you kiss him. The way you silence his cutting words, forcing your way into his mouth, forcing him to just squirm and sob, until you’re clenching around him, and he’s there with you. Falling apart, bodies shifting until movement ceases, and there’s nothing but bliss.
“I hate you so much,” you say in the aftermath, and it’s closest you’ve ever gotten to a confession of love.
He laughs, wipes away tears, “Hate you more.”
“Don’t leave this time.” he just nods, bordering on nonverbal now. It takes you hours to coax actual words out of him, and by then, you’re both tangled in a foreign mess of warm limbs.
“Oh i’m going to be so mean tomorrow.” you mutter, playing loosely with his hair.
He can only sigh, stare at you dreamily. “God, is that a promise?”
747 notes · View notes
hyewka · 5 months ago
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I just read your public vibrator gyu. GOOD LORD I NEED A TYUN ONE, but like in the car where the both of you were supposed to go on a late night drive and every time the stop lights go red, the vibrator goes into its highest setting this goes on until poor little tyunnie is sobbing and needs to fucked dumb in the car PLS PLS PLS I NEED IT I NEED IT SO BAD I take one look at tyun and my brain immediately goes "I need to fuck him"
im obsessed with usually composed subs that get bratty when you start to push and push, taehyuns perfect for that lol
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idk why but him specifically in work business attire, tie perfectly adjusted, black framed glasses propped up as he stirs the wheel with one hand is sooo attractive but whats even more attractive is getting him to lose his shit when hes not supposed to. i know this isnt exactly what you asked but i think an enemies with a fuck buddy situation going on would be sooo hot here, so easy to get him agitated
he shifts in his seat like it’s nothing when you turn it up a notch. “really?” he scoffs incredulously, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “you’re gonna try that again?”
you twirl the lollipop between your fingers, not even looking at him. “focus on the road, taehyun,” you say, sounding almost bored.
he barely reacts. barely. but you catch it from your peripheral vision-- the way his jaw clenches, how his fingers grip the steering wheel just a little too tight. he’s pretending—he always pretends like he can handle it, like he’s composed, but you know better.
first red light. you turn it up, and he immediately jolts in his seat, biting his lip so hard you think he might draw blood. “s-stop… i’m trying to drive—are you insane?!” he grits.
“and doing such a good job of it,” you chuckle, leaning over to trace a finger along the line of his tie. "i'm just dying to know how long you’ll last like this.”
“fuck off,” he growls, but the effect is ruined when his hips jolt as you poke at his crotch. the gasp that escapes his lips is so sudden, so embarrassing, you can’t help but grin.
“what was that?” you tease, poking him again, watching his body spasm. “can’t handle it, can you? poor tyunnie.”
it's pissing you off slightly that taehyun's still holding onto that facade, eyes focused straight ahead like he’s actually going to make it through this. he's making this tougher than your patience allows.
the light turns green, and he slams on the gas a little too hard, jerking the car forward. you snort, watching his legs tremble under the strain. “you look so pathetic. can’t even keep it together on a simple drive. how’d you even get your promotion acting like this?”
“s-shut up—” he tries to snap back, but he's barely holding it together. you hate admitting it, but he's so god damn attractive it drives you up a wall. he keeps adjusting his tie and his eyes keep glancing around the road. he’s a mess, glasses slipping down his infuriatingly perfect nose and all.
next red light. you crank it up again. taehyun’s head drops back against the seat, his chest heaving, hips bucking helplessly as he lets out a low, broken moan. “shit—please, stop, i c-can’t—”
then, as if giving in to the desperate haze clouding his mind, his hand shoots down, fingers fumbling at the waistband of his slacks like he’s going to jerk himself off right there.
before he can even start, you smack his hand away, hard and fast, making him gasp and look at you with wide, desperate eyes.
“bad, bad boy,” you chide. “don't you dare touch yourself, keep your hand on the wheel.”
he stares at you, incredulous, his breathing heavy, but he’s too wrecked to come up with a response.
you tug on his tie, pulling it tight against his throat. "bite down."
taehyun surprisingly doesn’t hesitate, sinking his teeth into the tie, his moans muffled as he tries to grind down into the seat, his hips moving on their own.
when he starts driving again, your finger circles his crotch, enjoying the taste of the artificial sweet cherry flavor on your tongue (and of course, how loud he's shamelessly being). “you act like a brat at work because you like being put in your place outside of it, right? no wonder you’ve been such a pain lately. guess this is what you’ve been wanting all along.”
he chokes on his own breath, a strangled noise escaping him, his cheeks flushing red. spit starts to drip down his chin, wetting the tie he’s biting down on. you roll your eyes. "disgusting."
third red light. you turn the vibrator to its highest setting. his body jerks violently, a sob ripping from his throat as he slams the brakes, forehead resting against the wheel. “no, no, fuck, fuck—i c-can’t—”
you reach over and slide your hand down, palming the hard length of his cock through his pants, feeling the wet spot where he’s already leaking. “so fucking wet for me,” you murmur, your fingers pressing into him, making his hips jolt. “you’re such a fucking mess.”
he’s sobbing now, still biting on his tie, completely ruined, tears streaming down his cheeks as he begs, practically shaking in his seat.
you just smirk, watching him unravel. “poor thing,” you coo, leaning closer to his ear. “so desperate to cum, but you don’t deserve it, do you? look at you, sobbing like a little bitch.”
“plthse,” he slurs through the fabric, the words barely audible, muffled and wet. “i’ll b-be good—just lemme cum, plthse—i can’t take it anymore.”
you press harder against his cock, feeling him throb under your palm. “you’re not cumming until i say so,” you whisper, your hand sliding down to cup his balls through his pants, squeezing just enough to make him gasp. taehyun’s hips jerk up, chasing your hand like a dog in heat. “but keep begging. i like it when you beg."
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slamminslamminmcgill · 5 months ago
Note
I need to be high off my ass while deadpool fucks me. That’s it. that’s the post. Wade wilson the man that you are. Hurfgghdhhhh. yeah. weed makes me horny so definitely that…… Deadpool….. save me………….. headlock….. his arms…. ehhshhhshhhhh
deadpool headlock on drugs inspired by my last dick appointment coming right up!!
warning: intox (weed), choking, oral, daddy kink, humiliation, transphobic slurs
anatomical terms: cunt/pussy
suggested listening: Gorillaz - Superfast Jellyfish (trying something new w/ poolposting!! i love the deadpool soundtrack and the vibes the music creates for each scene so im trying to emulate that. also discovered recently that this is a perfect song to smoke and get your pussy ate to 😌)
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“What was that? Didn’t quite catch that, sugarcunt. Speak up for me, will ya?”
“F-Feels so… feels so fucking gooooood…”
“Mm, but does it? If you’re still speaking in complete sentences, then my work’s not done. Go ahead and take another hit. Or two. Y’know what? Just finish the bowl. I’ll pack you another if you’re still too smart for my liking.”
Wade punctuated his order with a sharp smack to your cunt, sloppy with his spit and your need. His mask was pulled up just over his mouth so he could service you.
This motherfucker was trying to kill you. Or at the very least, give you some form of brain damage. Every consecutive orgasm reduced your cognitive functioning. To his credit, though, it sounded like a generous offer when he first proposed it.
“You need to relax, honey-boo. How’s about you smoke up while I go down, if you catch my drift?"
He was lying on his stomach, his chin resting in his hands, his legs in the air kicking back and forth, watching as you took rapid fire bong hits. You tried your best to burn through the bowl as quickly as you could, and you got about three solid clouds out before you started coughing. Hard.
“That’s it. You got it,” Wade cooed, stroking your inner thigh, “Just cough out all those neurons for me, good boy. Daddypool’s stupid little boy, I’m so proud of you!” He used your coughing fit as an opportunity to sneak two fingers inside you, and gawked at how you hard you clenched them. “Ooh, yeah, you got some good grip strength in you, cupcake. Squeezing those fingers like a hug from a church-going grandma. 'Am I gonna see you next week at the bake sale, honey?' Oh, yes, you will, Miss Nancy!"
What? What in the actual fuck is he yapping about? Was that supposed to be a joke? You had no mental bandwidth left to even speak, let alone dissect Wade's meandering, confusing, drawn-out metaphors for your pussy. "Wh… Wha-a-a?"
"Oh, that’s sounding much dumber, baby! Good boy!" He said cheerily, sliding his fingers out and wiping them on his suit. "Seems like you’re just about ready for Daddy."
--
"Oh my god, look at you! You look so cute pinned down like this! Aw, you can’t move, can you, dummy? Nowhere for you to go, huh? Except back onto Daddy’s cock where you belong."
Wade had you on your back, your ankles on his shoulders, his hands gripping your thighs as he pounded into you, over and over, deeper and deeper. So deep, in fact, it was as if he was shoving your womb up into your throat. Choking on that and a mouthful of drool, you cried out for him, pawing at his arms just to feel him close to you.
“Daddy—Da-! Daddy, Daddyyy-y-y~!”
Wade could see the desperation on your face, that yearning for closeness, and dangled it over your head. “Aw, poor baby, you need a hug? But you’re already hugging me so tight, with that—f-fucking wet honey-pot cunt you’ve got there—ah! Fuck! Ah… shit, I got’cha, come here.”
Wade withdrew his hips, leaving you gaping and empty without his cock stretching you out. He leaned down to wrap his arms tightly around you, though before you could hug him back, he flipped you onto your stomach. He pressed a firm hand onto your back to keep you lying prone on the mattress. With you trapped beneath him once again, he pushed back in.
“Ooooh, that’s it, babyboy, that’s the ticket.”
You sobbed into the pillows, keeping your sounds timid and muffled, and your dignity somewhat intact. But Wade wouldn’t let you off that easy. He hooked his arms around your neck and yanked you up into him. The pressure on your windpipe turned your moans into weak gasps and sputters. The lack of oxygen set your nerves alight, burning with hypersensitivity. And to make matters worse, he wouldn’t stop growling filth right into your ear.
“God, I can feel my balls smacking your tiny little tranny dick like this… Can feel you twitching… So fuck—so fucking wet… Mmmm, I’m gonna shoot the biggest fuckin’ load into you... Not… not yet though… No, I’m not done with you, yet, slutter-butter. I can just… mmm, edge myself inside you… keep you nice and full… All. Fucking. Night.”
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youvebeenlivingfictional · 10 months ago
Text
Impressions
Pairing: Will Miller x Reader
Notes: Idk y'all my brain spit this out. I haven’t written Will in, like…..100 years?
Rating: Mature - mostly for language
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, angst, fluff. Not beta-read.
Length: 7.5K
Summary: Your first two impressions that you get of Will Miller are pretty stellar. That said, they don't actually involve meeting the guy.
The day you do, well. That's another story.
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GIF by charllehunnam
Your first impression of Will Miller is technically...Good.
It's from Benny, is the thing.
You hear the sweet and the sour, the grumbling when Benny is training at the gym alone in the mornings—"He's a hard ass, but he means well."
It's said with a little smile, with sibling love and familiarity that tells you that Ben and Will have told each other to go fuck themselves just as much as they've said that they're proud of one another.
Your second impression of Will comes from Terry.
Terrence Owen McLowery is your best friend, your informal trainee, and is currently ranked in the Middleweight division, just a few spots behind Ben Miller (but gaining, and fast). He's one of the few openly gay boxers in your area and in his division, something that he might get more hate for if he couldn't kick the shit out of anyone slagging his name off behind his back.
Terry gets to as many matches as he possibly can, even when he's not fighting in them. You try to join him as often as you can, but there are times when you just can't swing it. He likes to scope out the competition.
"I'm gonna be in there, kickin' their ass one day," He tells you, "I should clock their weaknesses now, not then."
He spends more time ringside than he does in the ring for the sake of observation. And he's seen the Miller brothers at fight after fight.
"You oughta see 'im," Terry says, a dreamy look in his eyes—and you don't know if he's talking about Ben or Will, but you kinda figure it's both. Look, you've met Ben, you wouldn't be surprised if good genes ran in the family.
"He's real level-headed, ringside, even when Ben’s in a jam," Terry adds, and you realize that he's talking about Will, "Kinda like you, but without the taunting."
You roll your eyes a little bit, "You told me the taunting makes you try harder."
"Hmph."
"And I told you a real coach wouldn't do that,” You tack on.
Terry doesn't hmph at that one. He doesn't like it when you point out that you're not a professional coach. You taught him the basics a long time ago, back when the two of you needed to have one another's backs on the playground—and you keep him honest when he's training up now. But Terry needs a coach that'll actually help him in the ring, not do what you do. And sure, you don't do the worst job, but Terry could go further with a professional.
--
Your first two impressions that you get of Will Miller are pretty stellar. That said, they don't actually involve meeting the guy.
The day you do, well. That's another story.
--
You’re at the gym early. Terry is supposed to be there, too, but he took a late shift at work and couldn’t drag himself out of bed. You don’t blame him—a body needs rest if you’re going to put it through its paces. You’re striding past the ring at the center of the gym when you spot Ben sparring with another contender in the middleweight division. You spot an error, one that Terry makes frequently himself, and call out,
“Pick up your right shoulder, Miller!” 
The advice incurs a nod from Ben—and a glare from a golden-headed man standing ringside. Something in his cool gaze chastens you, and you hurry on toward the class you signed up for. 
--
“What was with that guy?” You ask Ben later as you’re stretching. 
“What guy?”
“Blonde, bearded…Glaring?” You remind him. Ben’s eyebrows shoot up.
“You mean Will?”
“That was Will?” You ask in a hushed whisper. 
“Yeah. Glaring?”
“He looked like he was trying to melt me with his laser vision.” 
It makes Benny’s laugh boom in the gym, and you glance around to see if you’ve attracted any attention. Sure enough, Will’s not too far off, his arms folded across his chest as he speaks to someone. His gaze darts between Ben and you, and his eyes narrow. 
“Aaaand there it is again,” You mutter, drawing your legs back from the stretch. 
-- 
“Hey,” You hear. You frown, turning back to the source, and find Will striding toward you. You’re about to offer your hand, to introduce yourself—in relation to Ben, or Terry, something—but he speaks again before you can get a word out:
“Ben’s got a fight coming up. He doesn’t need any glove bunnies distracting him.” 
Your mouth was opened to speak, but now your jaw drops, a scoff of indignation flying out. 
“Glove bunnies?” You repeat, stunned. Will waves you off. 
“Whatever Ben does in his own time is none of my business, but when he’s here, and when he’s in the ring, he needs to be focused.” 
Will doesn’t let you get in another word before he’s turning and walking away. You watch him go, stunned. Asshole. Asshole. As you turn to head into the locker room, you remember Ben telling you that he’s a hard ass, but he means well. 
Well-meaning or not, Will Miller is a dick. 
--
“There’s a man outside who’s looking for you,” You hear.
You glance up from your laptop, brows raised at your coworker. It couldn’t be Terry; he’d call or text you, not ask for you. And it can’t be…Actually, you can’t think of any other guy that would come looking for you at work. 
“Did you tell him I was in here?”
“I said I wasn’t sure anyone by that name worked here and that I’d check,” Molly relays. You nod a little bit, muttering, “Solid,” before adding, “He say who he is?” 
“Will Miller?”
You freeze, then, hands hovering over your keyboard. What the hell is Miller doing there? And how does he know where you work?
“Okay,” You nod, “Okay, tell him I’ll be out in a...A minute.” 
“Sure.” Molly starts to drift away from you before she turns, half-jogging back to your desk. 
“He is so hot,” She hisses. You can't help your grudging smile. 
“Yes, he is.” 
Asshole or not, you can agree that Will Miller is annoyingly, startlingly attractive. 
--
The man that meets you outside is a far cry from the one who accosted you at the gym just a week ago. In a well-fitting polo and a pair of khakis, he looks more like a suburban dad than a hardened drillmaster. You stop just a few feet from the door to your office, arms folded tightly over your chest. He clears his throat, approaching you slowly and stopping just a couple of steps from you. 
“Ben had a fight this weekend,” He says. Him starting that way makes your stomach swoop with fear. You immediately worry that something’s gone wrong, that Ben is badly hurt. But Will goes on: 
“He kept his right shoulder up. That little tip saved his ass a few times.” 
Your brows raise. You didn’t expect him to admit it, even if it did help. 
“I saw Terry, too,” Will adds, “And realized precisely how and where I fucked up when he showed me a picture of you.”
Will doesn't look like he's trying to melt you with his heat vision anymore. In fact, he looks...Genuinely remorseful.
“I see,” You nod a little. 
Will pushes a sigh out through his nose. 
“I’m sorry for approaching the situation the way I did. And for calling you a, uh—”
“Glove bunny?”
He winces with the reminder. “Yeah. I didn’t have all of the facts. Even if I had, it was still the wrong way to approach the situation, and I apologize.” 
You take a moment to drink in his face again, as if you’re seeing it for the first time. His blue eyes are soft where they were icy, and the once-harsh press of his lips is replaced with a regretful, almost contemplative pout. And then you nod a touch.
“I appreciate and accept your apology.” 
Something akin to relief seems to wash over him, and he holds his hand out. 
“I’m Will, by the way.” 
“Will?” You repeat, screwing your face up in mock confusion, “Will...Will...That certainly sounds familiar.”
A smile tugs his lips up just a touch as he pumps your hand up and down. 
“I train Ben Miller. I'm his brother,” He adds. 
“Oh, that Will. Right, of course.” 
You let his hand drop and folded your arms across your chest. 
“Blank slate,” You add softly. 
Will’s brows jump. 
“Completely?”
“Well, Ben says you’re a hard ass and Terry thinks you’re dreamy, but I’ll try not to let their impressions color mine.” 
“Pretty mixed reviews.”
“Mhm.” 
The two of you exchange curious smiles before you nod over your shoulder. 
“I’ve gotta get back to work."
“Of course.”
“See you around, Miller.” 
--
“Seriously, Terrence!” You call out as Terry spars with one of the other gym members, “Is this prep or are you trying to waltz him into tapping out?” 
Terry groans, reeling away from his sparring partner. 
“God, you’re a bitch,” He grunts as he walks toward you, bending over for his water. 
“And you’re a dumbass, Billy Elliot. Get back in there.” 
“He’s holding his breath,” You hear. You turn back to see Will Miller coming closer.
“When he punches,” He clarifies. 
“You can tell him,” You offer before you whistle sharply, stopping Terry from stepping more deeply into the ring. You nod toward Will and listen as he offers his tip. Terry takes his time listening, nodding, leaning against the ropes.
“...Think you got it?” You ask.
“Loud and clear,” Terry agrees before turning back to his sparring partner.
You glance over at Will, nodding your chin up. “Thanks."
“Sure,” Will smiles before walking away. Ben’s not too far away, working at a punching bag. You watch Will for a long moment before turning back to Terry in the ring. Terry ducks out of the way of an oncoming jab, and finds time to shoot you a wink before he turns back to his sparring partner. 
--
“Terry—” 
“Come on—” 
“I can’t tonight, I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow!” 
“Just a few rounds! Come with me, see Ben in action—and see what I mean about Will ring-side.”
“You just want me to go because you think you’ll be much less conspicuous drooling over them if I’m there.” 
“Maybe.”
“And for the record, you’d be just as conspicuous.”
“We don’t know that.”
“Yes we do.” 
“Come with meeee," He whines. "If you’re not there, I’ll curse out a redneck bigot and I’ll get in trouble for beating him up in the parking lot.” 
“Well then you and the Millers can tag team.” 
Terry groans loudly, tipping his head back. “Don’t. Don’t even think about putting ‘Miller’ and ‘tag team’ in the same sentence. My mind just went to about eight filthy places.” 
“Just eight?”
“Alright, nine.”
“Terry. Sweetheart. Angel. Not tonight.” 
“Four rounds.” 
“No.” 
“Two rounds.” 
“Terry—”
“Ben’ll probably take ‘em down in one.” 
“I’m sure he’d love that you have so much faith in his skill, but we’ll have to get through the matches before his, and that’ll already be way late.” 
“I won’t make you come to the gym with me tomorrow.” 
“Probably because you won’t make it to the gym tomorrow.”  
“That’s not the point.” 
--
You didn’t always love the atmosphere around the fight. You used to hate the screaming, the overpriced beer, the rednecks. It used to make you wary, going with Terry. People knew him. It's not secret that he's gay. He used to catch more shit for it before he bulked up and started fighting. Even after he had, the slurs hadn’t stopped. It used to raise your hackles—but Terry’s got more of a handle on how he approaches those incidents, and he’s made a lot of friends that frequent the ring, both as spectators, and in the Middleweight division.
You wouldn’t say that you like going to fights now, but you don’t find it as daunting as you used to. Now, the atmosphere is exciting—it zips through you like lightning; it makes your fingers tingle, and your heart pound. 
“Here,” Terry calls out, pressing a beer into your hand. 
“I told you I’ve got work tomorrow!” 
“I got two for myself, you’re just holding that one for me.” 
“Bullshit,” You laugh, looking up at the ring as the bell sounds. 
By the time the first two fights are down, you know you should leave. It’s late, and it’s only going to get later—you’ve had three beers, and Terry’s coming back with another one. 
“Terry, I really shouldn’t—”
“Ben’s coming down the hall,” He half-yells into your ear, and you have to stop yourself from muttering, ‘Fucking finally,’ when it bubbles up in you. You push it down with a gulp of beer, glancing back and trying to catch sight of the Millers. You see Benny’s chestnut hair; Will’s bright head bobs into view just moments later. You and Terry begin to cheer almost on instinct as they come more fully into view—as Benny heads into the ring, and Will rounds the corner. Will looks around, and his eyes catch on you and Terry. He raises his hand to give Terry a pat on the shoulder, and meets your eyes dead-on. 
It’s a half-second, that’s all, but it seems to last for far longer. If anyone asked you what happened in that half-second, you’d tell them that you nodded to him—you know that for sure, because he nods, too. You’re not sure if it’s the beer, or the crackling of the air around you, but your skin feels hot. You don’t even know if you’re smiling. But Will’s gaze holds on yours for a long time, even as he walks on. When he finally looks away, you can feel your heart thudding in the vicinity of your throat. 
Terry leans over, his shoulder nudging yours as he speaks into your ear:
“Distracted much?” 
“...What?” You manage, tipping your head back toward him as you watch Benny climb into the ring.
“Uh-huh.” 
When you glance up at Terry, you find him grinning smugly, and you reach out, shoving his shoulder as you grumble, “Shut up.” As the bell sounds, you yell out, “Let’s go!” and vaguely register Will’s yell of, “It’s time to work!” 
--
Ben is a hunter in the ring.
You can’t help but compare the way he fights with the way Terry fights. Terry prefers to hold back, to let his opponent dance around and tire themselves out. Terry is a slow-burn; Benny is a wildfire. Will is as much wind to guide his brother as he throws gasoline on Benny’s flame, honing his path and stoking his focus on the rare occasions that Benny takes a hard hit or seems to flounder. 
You plan to only stay for a couple of rounds, but before you know it, you’re cheering Benny as his opponent is knocked down, and stays down. The ref takes hold of Benny’s wrist, holding it up as he proclaims him the winner, and you and Terry crow with excitement. As the crowd begins to flow—as Benny is led out to be checked over by the ring doctor—you turn to Terry, ready to insist again that you have to leave. But you feel a hand land on your shoulder, and turn your head to see Will leaning in. He gets close between you and Terry, and asks over the hum of the crowd, “What are you guys doing now?” 
--
You should be more concerned about the fact that tomorrow morning (well, later this morning) is going to be absolute hell for you. You should be concerned about the fact that when you get home, whenever you get home, you’re probably going to need to have a couple of pieces of toast and a few glasses of water. Your head is buzzing with the beers you had at the fight, and now with the two that you’ve had at the bar. But the zipwire-tense feeling that had ripped through you is ebbing as you watch Benny return from the bar with a massive basket of fries and a fresh round of beers.
Oh, man. You’re really gonna regret this tomorrow. 
You push the thought away as you reach out, taking up a precariously full beer and leaning back in your seat. 
“Surprised you’ve got such a sedate after party,” Terry comments as he takes one of the beers. 
“Fewer glove bunnies than I expected,” You add, eyes sliding to Will’s, where he sits across from you. He appears to bite back a smile, eyes dipping to the table. Benny’s eyes dart between the two of you, brow furrowing, and you give a small, reassuring shake of your head. 
“I have a question,” Benny declares, leaning against the table. 
“Has it got anything to do with that swelling cheek?” Terry asks, waving a finger toward Benny’s face. 
“No,” Benny huffs, “I know how all about that. How’d you two meet?” He asks. You glance at Terry, arching a brow as he turns to you with a grin. 
“School,” Is your short answer. 
“I moved in around, like…Fifth grade-ish?” Terry’s brow furrows. 
“It wasn’t fifth-grade-ish, it was fifth grade,” You correct. 
“I wasn’t the most social kid, and that caught me a lot of shit. I got picked on, and this one,” Terry pushes his shoulder against yours, and you sway with it, bobbing back and forth, “Taught me how to keep from getting my ass kicked on the way home.” 
“Seriously?” Ben asks. You shrug a little. 
“It started with short-cuts to get him home, but when other kids caught on, things got a bit more…Physical.” 
“Did you already know how to fight?” Will asks. 
“I wouldn’t say that. I knew how to swing a fist, I didn’t really know how to fight. We both learned to, though, because we…Had to.”
“She’s been stuck with me ever since,” Terry sighs dramatically. You roll your eyes, turning a fond smile up at him. 
“He’s like my taller, irritating younger brother,” You add.
“I know all about that,” Will pipes up, and you can’t help but turn a laugh at him. 
“So what about you two, how did you two meet?” You tease, waving your finger between them. 
“Oh, man,” Ben mutters. 
“Well I came home one day and my mom said, ‘We have a surprise for you’,” Will says, “And then six months later, this dick shows up.” 
“And he’s been stuck with me ever since,” Ben smiles, glancing at Will. You reach out, plucking up a couple of the fries and dipping them in ketchup. 
“Did you guys get along growing up?” 
“We don’t even get along now,” Ben teases. Will chuckles, shaking his head. 
“Not always. We butt heads as kids, and we do sometimes now, but…We get our shit done.” 
“He’s a hardass,” Ben cuts in.
“And he’s a dumbass.”
You grin. “So you complement each other is what I’m hearing.” 
--  
“Haven’t seen you in a couple of days.” 
You’re taking a long pull from your water bottle, fighting the dryness in your throat when you hear Will. 
“What can I say,” You manage as you lower it. “I only just recovered from going out with y’all the other night.” 
Will chuckles, leaning against the pillar beside you as you wipe down your treadmill. 
“Didn’t mean to tire you out.” 
“I’m out of practice. Terry hasn’t had a fight in a couple of months, so I don’t stay up that late anymore.” 
“No?”
“Nope. I’m in bed at 9:30 and I like it.” 
You take up your water bottle, and the two of you start drifting away from the treadmills.
“Why hasn’t Terry been in the ring?” Will plies. 
“His rotator cuff’s kinda fucked up. He’s been taking it easy—Well. As easy as he's willing to take it. He has a check-in with his doctor in a couple of weeks.” 
“That must be driving him nuts.” 
“Oh, he’s losing it. He’s trying to go to as many fights as he can, though.”
“I’ve seen him at a few lately—Besides, Benny’s, you know. I was wondering why you didn’t go with him.” 
You stop at the door to the women’s locker room and turn around to face him. 
“Bed. 9:30,” You reiterate.
“Well I know that now.” Will tucks his hands into his pockets, smiling. “I wanted to ask: Do you think you could see it in yourself to duck your bedtime again?” 
“Depends on what for.” 
“There’s a fight down in Fernsworth this weekend. There’s a new kid on the bill, he’s apparently pretty vicious.” 
“Oh yeah? When this weekend?” 
“Friday.” 
You consider, lips pursing, and Will chuckles at your expression.
“What is it?” He asks.
“Terry’s got work that night.” 
“So’s Ben.” 
Your gut swoops in surprise, a brow lifting and falling quickly, but Will’s face remains as calm as ever.
“So?” Will presses. If you were reading into it, you’d think he was batting his pretty eyelashes. Before you can overthink it, you hold your hand out and order: “Phone.”
Will rifles into his pocket and pulls it out, passing it over. You add yourself as a contact, your heart thudding in your chest, ears going hot as you double-check that it’s right. You pass it back to Will, meeting his eyes again. “You can send me all the details.”
“Don’t feel like talking to me anymore?”
“I have to go to work, Miller,” You laugh, taking a couple of steps back. “Text me—And keep an eye out for those glove bunnies.” 
“Always.” 
You get one last look at Will, at his sweet, amused smile, and you turn, heading in to take a shower (and maybe to silently scream into your hands, a little). 
--  
You don’t dress up, and you do not tell Terry where you’re going, or with whom. It’s been bad enough that he clocked your swell of interest when you’d gone out with all of them, and worse still that he’s encouraged it. You’d been pressing your hands down onto the tops of his shoes, ensuring that his feet stayed flat as he worked on his core.
“At least—fuck him,” Terry had insisted as he’d come up from reps of crunches. “Do you—have any idea—what’d I’d do tuh—Phew—Have those pretty—blue eyes pointed at me—like that?” 
You’d raised your brow, casting a wary eye about to ensure that neither of the Miller brothers were anywhere nearby before you’d insisted, “Nothing is going to happen between me and Will.” 
“Why—the hell—not?” Terry gasped, finishing out his reps. He groaned, sweeping his hand across his sweating brow before planting both hands on the mat behind himself. “He’s leaps and bounds better than the other assholes you used to fuck with.” 
Like it or not, you knew Terry was right.
For your rough and real first impression, Will is actually kinda sweet. You still don’t know him all that well, and maybe tonight could change that. But you insist to yourself that you’re not going out to flirt with Will, you’re going to see this new fighter (Charlie “Shredder” Klein: 5’9, 194 pounds, rookie, southpaw) and gather some info for when, inevitably, Terry winds up fighting the guy. You dress…Comfortably, in one of your nicer pairs of jeans and one of your favorite tops. You feel cute, and you feel cute for you. If Will thinks that you’re cute in the outfit, well…That’s just a bonus. 
You don’t think he would tell you, though. Will Miller seems like the type to keep his cards close to his chest. 
The ride down to the venue is filled with polite small talk. The feeling in the cab of his truck is almost like the same nervous air of a first date. Your stomach is twisting like a nest of garter snakes; your skin is hot with nerves; you rub your sweaty palms nervously against your jeans. The two of you stick close together at the fight—though you don't exactly have an alternative; the venue is packed. Now and again, if you get nudged too roughly by someone else, or pushed one way or another, Will cuts a sharp, warning look at them over your head at the perpetrator. The third or so time it happens, you reach out, resting a hand on his arm.
“Don’t worry about them,” You say into his ear, cutting over the noise, “The fight’s in the ring, not with these dickheads.” 
Will’s lips twitch with a smile as he leans in to speak into your ear in turn. He says, “It’ll be here if they’re not careful,” But you almost don’t catch it. You’re too focused on everything else—on the press of his warm and firm body against your side; on the way his hand rests on your lower back; on the whisper of his beard against your cheek; on the brush of his lips and breath against the shell of your ear, and the way his voice seems to drown out the clamor of the spectators around you. It makes your heart tick up in your chest, a shiver tripping down your spine and stopping right where his hand sits. 
When your mind catches up with what he’s said, you laugh, nudging his hip with yours.
“Eyes on the prize, Miller,” You urge.
“They are,” He answers without missing a beat. It makes your stomach flip, and for a moment, you can’t bring yourself to look away. You finally force yourself to, and to clap as the announcer brings in the first contender, looking around to try and catch a glimpse of them—and not to overthink the way that Will’s hand is still resting on your back. 
--  
“Weak spots?” Will asks. You consider for a moment, running your finger along the side of your beer bottle. The buzz from the fight is wearing off, and the bar that you've gone to is far more quiet compared to the venue.
“He doesn’t go in…With a plan,” You say after a moment.
“His coach was calling plays.”
“Yeah, but Klein wasn’t listening. I mean when you tell Ben to back the fuck off or get away from the ropes, he backs the fuck off or gets away from the ropes, because in that moment, you see things in a way that he doesn’t. He trusts you to steer him. Klein’s coach can yell whatever he wants, but it’s not heard. Klein’s in the fight, he’s on the inside, he thinks he knows best, and that…That got him fucked up tonight. Might not always get him fucked up, but today’s outcome, you know. Not so much.” 
“Strong indictment.” 
“You asked me what I thought.”
“And I got it. I appreciate that.” 
You raise your brows at Will’s calm, honest expression.
“What about you?” You ask, nodding to him, “What do you think his weak spots are?” 
“He’s a brawler, not a fighter. He likes to go in for little…squirrely swiping matches. He wants excitement, not wins.” 
You shake your head at the assessment. “That just spells trouble for our boys.” 
“Less trouble if we go in with a plan.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
The two of you lightly clink your beers together, sharing a smile before you take sips.
“I’m surprised you came tonight,” Will admits as he sets his bottle down. 
“Really?"
“Little bit.” 
“Why?” 
“We didn’t exactly have the nicest start.” 
“No, we didn’t, but…I don’t know, I thought we were on a more level field now.”
“I think we are.”
The two of you watch one another for a long moment, considering, and before you can say anything, Will adds: “I’m glad you came with me.” 
“Yeah? Didn’t wanna brave the hillbilly circus alone?” 
“I have before and it’s never fun.” 
“It wasn’t so bad tonight.” 
“I had good company.”
You smile a little bit, eyes sweeping Will’s face as flattery wells in your stomach.
“...You knew Terry had work tonight, didn’t you,” You accuse softly. Will shrugs a shoulder, raising his bottle to his lips again. You can’t help your flattered smile, and you force yourself to keep your eyes on him.
“Ben might’ve mentioned it,” Will finally concedes. 
“Interesting.” 
“Is it?”
“I think so.” 
“Good interesting or bad interesting?”
“I'm still sitting here, aren’t I?” 
Will’s smile widens, and your stomach flutters. “You could’ve just asked me out,” You add in a mutter.
“Well, now I know that for next time.” 
Next time. Your face goes hot; the beer in your stomach feels like it’s bubbling. 
“Yes you do,” You agree, nodding a little.
“When I do,” Will adds, leaning against the table, sending another burst through your chest at his use of ‘when’ where you'd expected 'if', “You alright with it being this sort of thing?”
“What, a fight and a beer? Hell yeah—Long as it’s before 9:30.” 
Will laughs, tugging his sleeve back and glancing at his watch. 
“You have any idea what time it is?” 
“No, and I do not wanna know.” 
-- 
You fold your across your chest, eyeing Terry’s form as he pounds the punching bag in front of himself. 
“How are you feeling?” You ask as he leans away from the bag, swiping at the sweat dripping down his face. 
“‘Bout what?” He asks a little blandly between pants. 
“The fight.” 
“You asking me because I got a fight, or does it have to do with who I’m going up against?” 
You purse your lips, eyes sweeping the gym for any sign of either of the Miller brothers. Finding neither, you answer, “Both?” 
Terry chuckles, turning back to the bag.
“I’m not gonna go easy on Benny just ‘cause he’s a friend, and he ain’t gonna take it easy on me, either—”
“I know—”
“I mean, we always knew this was gonna happen—”
“I know! I know, oh my god, I get it.” 
“I’m just sayin’,” Terry mutters, punching viciously at the bag again.
“I’d be a bad coach not to ask, you know half of the fight’s in your head. And speaking of bad coach,” You add, “You found anyone else yet?” 
Terry casts you an irritated look out of the corner of his eye.
“Are you really talkin’ about this right now?”
“...Okay, letting it go,” You sigh before tacking on, “And you’re holding your breath again.” 
“I was about to say the same thing,” You hear from behind you. You turn to see Will just a few steps away. You smile almost involuntarily. You haven’t seen Will since your not-quite date, but you’ve thought about him and texted with him plenty.
“Shouldn’t you be mindin’ your own fighter, Miller?” Terry asks, straightening up and raising his hands to stop the swinging bag.
“Don’t worry, McLowery. The second he needs minding, I’ll be on it.” Will takes a few steps back from you both, shooting you a wink before he turns away. Your stomach twists, and you carefully smooth your smile away before turning to face Terry again. 
“Alright, c’mon,” You wave him toward the bag again, “Let’s go, we got half an hour and then we gotta get going. I can’t be late for work again.” 
-- 
It’s odd, finding yourself on the opposite side of the ring as Will. As nervous as you are—for the way your body feels like it’s buzzing, a tingle in your fingertips—you know that the boys’ll take this seriously. It was going to happen sooner or later; you just didn’t think it would be so soon. You hope that they come out of the ring with their friendships (and their bones) intact.
You shift from foot to foot, drawing a shaky breath in through your nose as Ben and Terry begin to circle up. Your eye catches on Will’s for just a moment. You trade nods, then turn your eyes back to your respective fighters. It’s a heady moment. The room seems to quiet around you for a moment as Ben and Terry approach one another, each with one fist out and one by their cheeks. You hardly blink as they get closer and closer—
--
“I almost had you.” 
It’s a gravely mutter, the first thing that Terry’s said since leaving the ring. He’s got a fat lip, and his right cheek is going to make it look like he’s part chipmunk in the morning. It’s a moment before Ben offers a grumbled, “...Almost.” Then, “Didn’t, though.” 
Terry takes a swipe at his head. Ben ducks it, raising his arm to push at Terry’s shoulder. You shake your head, leaning against the bar and watching them teasingly grapple. 
“You think they’d be too tired to do that by now,” You comment, shaking your head. 
“Adrenaline’s probably still pushin’ em. They’ll crash later.” 
The both of you are speaking a little more softly than usual; you had yelled your heads off at the match, and you're not sure about Will, but your throat feels so fricking raw. You nod, smile widening as the guys scrap a little more. 
“Hey—Alright, alright,” You finally raise your voice as they knock back into a stool. “If your sorry asses get us thrown out, you're paying.” 
“Drinks are on me, anyway,” Benny turns to give you a grin, teeth bright beneath the shiner developing on his right eye. Still, it’s a relief to see the boys settle. You shift on your stool and lean back against the bar, twisting your seat back and forth. 
“How are you feelin’?” 
You glance over at Will, brow furrowing in confusion at the question. 
“I didn’t just go five rounds with those numbskulls,” You point out, nodding toward them. 
“I know. You seemed…Tense.” 
“I was worried about ‘em.” 
“Terry?” 
“Both of them.” 
Will nods, eyes sweeping across your face before he glances around to the guys. 
“They’re doing alright.” 
“I know. I’m—I’m calming down, I just…” You trail off, shaking your head. “So many of Terry’s other friends in the ring are in different divisions. This is the first friend he’s, like, fought-fought.” 
“He did alright.” 
“No, I know. Nothing too broken. And Ben’s fine, too, so. Like I said,” You raise your hands in a slight pushing motion. “Calming down.” 
Will smiles, taking a step closer and sliding his arm around your middle, bracketing you against the bar. Your stomach flips at the closeness, at the weight and warmth of his arm. 
“Glad to hear it.” 
“You’ve just been completely chill the whole time?” 
Will shrugs. “I trusted the guys to handle it. They handled it.” 
“Alright…Knowitall,” You mutter. You smile as Will takes a step closer. He seems to glance toward the guys again before he lowers his head, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Your stomach bursts with butterflies, and you gently lower your head, resting it against his. You turn your head as you hear the bartender’s, “Here you go,” behind you. The two of you straighten up, turning to the bar fully and reaching for your beers. 
“So,” Will clears his throat, “You busy this Friday?” 
You smile, trailing your finger along the side of your glass. 
“Is there another southpaw you wanna get a look at?” 
“Nope, just dinner. I thought maybe I could cook at your place—that way I won’t interfere with your bedtime.” 
You can’t help your grin, or the slight tip of your head as he crowds close again.
“That is so considerate of you, Miller.” 
“I do what I can.” 
-- 
You try to chip in for the groceries, but Will won’t hear of it. He won’t even tell you what he’s making. 
“You know that I can probably mentally tally up whatever it is you bring and, like, Venmo you that amount, right?” You ask. It’s a little huffed as it leaves you, your gaze and focus on the swinging punching bag in front of you. When Will doesn’t answer, you glance over, and do a double take at the sight of him.
He’s watching you with a warm, sweet look, his hands tucked in his pocket as he slouches against the wall beside you. You raise your hands to steady the bag and keep it from swinging and hitting you in the face, stomach fluttering at the way this man is looking at you—like you’re dolled up and wearing a goddamn ballgown, and not sweating in the middle of a gym. 
“Besides, what if I have an allergy or something?” You add. 
“I’ve already run the ingredients by someone.” 
You frown. “Who?” 
Will doesn’t answer, just shrugs and holds his gaze steadily on yours. You narrow your eyes slightly, turning to look around the gym. Terry’s not too far off—and he’s pointedly keeping his focus on anything but you. 
“...Terrence,” You call out. 
“Busy!” He yells back, plucking his water bottle and phone and hurrying to another machine. You roll your eyes, turning back to Will with a mutter of, “Spy.” 
His smile widens.
“I can be there by six, that alright?” He asks, pushes off of the wall. 
“Uh-huh.” 
“If I see any kind of calculator when I’m cooking…”
“Oh, you won’t. I’m like a phone ninja.” 
Will chuckles, leaning in and murmuring, “See you tonight.” 
The closeness of his murmur and his breath brushing against your sweat-slicked skin sends goosebumps skittering down your arms. 
-- 
Your plan to stealthily tally everything up disappears as Will unpacks the groceries. You blink, stunned, before you pick up a jar of sauce, turning it around in your hands. 
“Are you fricking kidding me?” 
Will doesn’t answer. He just backs off, an amused smile on his lips and his hand on his hip as you reach into the grocery bag and rifle through it before reeling back, screeching, “You took off all of the labels?!” 
“You thought I was just gonna let you look through everything and tally up how much this cost me?” He turns and reaches into the bag again, continuing to unpack. “Amateur hour.” 
You bite your lip, watching in silence for a few moments as you think. What sort of 3-D dating chess is this man playing? 
“You are…Frighteningly tactful, Miller.” 
His smile widens, and he seems to duck his head to unearth something from the bulging grocery bag, but you can see the creeping flush of flattering rising up in his cheeks. 
“I can still guestimate, you know,” You warn. 
He stops then, bracing his hands on the counter.
“Would you just let me do something nice for you?” His brows raise, his lips on the edge of pursing in disappointment. You’re stunned into silence as he adds, “Nothing has to be owed. I just…I just wanna make you dinner.” 
You pause before you nod a little. Will’s brows raise further, and you nod again, watching as he turns back toward the bag. You hesitate before nervously sidling up beside him, pressing yourself against his side and eyeing his steady hands. 
“Can I at least help?” You ask. Glancing at him, you find Will’s annoyance smoothed away, replaced with a somewhat serene consideration. He nods, concedes: “A little.” 
--  
Will designates you two things to chop (red and green peppers), and one thing to stir (vegetable stir fry). He keeps his back to you as he adds seasonings to your chicken (“It’s a secret recipe,” He insists before he shoos you away from the counter. All you get a glimpse of is the garlic salt).
You don’t know exactly what he puts on it, but when you take your first bite, it’s perfectly moist, and damn delicious. You don’t even bother to hide your groan, or the way you close your eyes to just savor—and try to work out one or two of the spices. You get hits of chili. Chili and…Cumin? Little pops of cumin—
“I’m not telling you,” Will’s mirthful warning floats across the table to you. Your smile widens, shaking your head and opening your eyes. 
“No idea what you’re talking about, Miller.”
“Uh-huh.” 
“Is this your secret recipe?” 
“My mom’s.” 
“Did she make it a lot growing up?"
“In the summer, mostly, for barbecues and stuff.” 
“Tastes pretty good from the oven.” 
He grunts, nodding. “Better on the grill,” He admits, “With a little char on it.” 
“Mm, noted. Are you and your mom close?” 
Will quirks a brow as he reaches for his drink, and you realize that you’ve been bombarding him with questions. Before you can apologize, he offers: 
“Pretty close. I try to see her at least once a week. It used to be more, but she said I was smothering her.” 
You smile, chuckling. 
“That’s kinda precious.” 
Will shrugs a touch, pushing his veggies around his plate. 
“My dad passed a couple’a years ago and I think coming around as much as I used to might’ve helped, but mom’s got her own life, you know. She’s got a book club…She’s apparently a bingo assassin.” 
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. Some people think she’s cheating.” 
“...Is she?” You tease. 
“I wouldn’t put it past her. What  she lacks in subtlety, she makes up for in sneakiness.” 
“Is that where you and Ben get it?” 
He chuckles, ducking his head and poking at the food on his plate. 
“Some of it, maybe.” 
“And the rest?” 
“Training.” 
“Do you think Ben would agree?"
“Do you always ask this many questions?” 
You lean back, poking at your food in turn and fighting the embarrassed churning in your stomach. 
“Not always,” You mumble. You hear Will huff a soft laugh, and smile as he reaches across the table to take hold of your hand.
"I don't mind," He insists, thumb sweeping along the side of your hand. "Long as I get to ask a few, too."
--
"This was nice," You offer, almost woefully trailing Will to the front door. You've wanted to make a move since he put you to work in your kitchen—you've been thinking about it as the two of you were at your sink, doing the dishes; since you were sitting on your couch, talking about work, and the gym, and who Ben and Terry are facing next. You've been so close so consistently—arm to arm, hip to hip, knee to knee. The tiny touches have made you crave more, and Will's sweet smiles have made you do whatever you can think of to seek them out.
When he'd told you that he ought to get going, that he was meeting Ben in the gym at five the next morning, you were pretty sure that he was telling the truth—but you were already mourning the loss of the moment, and his warmth in your apartment.
"It was...Once you stopped pestering me about paying," He teases as he pulled on his jacket. You rolled your eyes.
"Well, how about I bring a bunch of labeless groceries over to your place, make you dinner, and see how you like it."
"I think I'd like it a lot," He insists, straightening his collar. "How's next week?"
And it's so swift and so smooth that you're certain you look more than a little gobsmacked. But you nod.
"Yeah. I can do next week."
"Friday?"
"Sure."
"Okay." He opens your door. "It's a date."
Just like that—so easy and open, and such a far cry to the first time he spoke to you at the gym.
"Good," You agree, leaning against the wall by your front door. "Let me know when you get home."
"I will." He leans in, and your breath catches in your throat as he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You bite your lip at the gentle prickle of his beard against your skin, eyelids fluttering as Will stays close. He raises his hand, gently sweeping his thumb against your lower lip and tugging it from your teeth.
"Don't do that," He shakes his head. "Don't bite your lip."
"Why?" You mumble, leaning into the flirty urge that's rising in you. "There someone else that's supposed to do it for me?"
Will breathes out a groan, resting his temple gently against yours.
"I'm trying to be good," He warns. You sweep your tongue across your lower lip, letting the tip graze his thumb, and grinning as he swallows thickly.
"This feels good to me." You reach up, cupping his cheek.
"You realize if we do this, you'll be up past 9:30?"
"I'm willing to risk it."
You think for a moment that he'll draw away, that he'll call it—
Your stomach drops as he pulls away and you hear the door shut, but grin as he crowds up against you, lips pressing warmly to yours. You sigh, looping your arm around your shoulders and keeping you close. His hands slide over your hips, drawing you into his chest. You slide your hand up, gently teasing your nails against the nape of his neck.
"Remind me to apologize to Ben the next time I see him," You mumble.
"Why's that?"
"You're going to be very late tomorrow morning."
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love-anddeepression · 5 months ago
Text
White Lily-Umemiya Hajime
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a/n:This is actually so shit im so sorry, it was supposed to be something else but it became this. please comment and reblog if you like it i love feedback :3
Fluffity Fluff, ume being clueless and whipped, tsubaki and hiragi are besties i love them sm
It was cold, when you'd first met him. He must've been around fifteen, flung to the ground after a brawl. He had seen you in his peripheral, his vision was blurry.
Like a movie scene, you had entered his line of view, the sun shining behind you as you knelt down beside him, holding his head up and saying something he couldn't hear.
He woke up in his bed later. Sensei was sitting on a chair to his right, and to his left, you. The both of you were chatting animatedly and Sensei was soothing your worry, In fact, it was quite normal for Umemiya to come back to the institution beaten up and bloody.
He coughed and your gaze fell on him, your eyes widening, "You're alright!" you exclaimed.
'You have a goal', his mind provided, he couldn't be distracted by frivolous things like partners and love.
But gosh, you were so pretty. You were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
Your wide eyes sparkled when he smiled, "I am, aren't I. Thanks to you."
Sensei huffed, "Damn right, Ume. She shouted for help until one of the girls ran back here to get me. She was about to carry you on her shoulders."
Now his eyes widened, and he looked at you in surprise.
"Please, as if I would be able to carry him. He's really strong." you scoffed.
Ume had been called strong by many people, and it was a fact that he had accepted. He needed to be strong to change Furin.
So why in hell was he feeling so warm, all of a sudden?
He looked down, focusing on the pattern of his blanket. Bruised knuckles brushing against the soft wool.
"I am glad you're okay." you smile, "And thank you for having me, sir." you nod at the smiling scruffy-haired blonde opposite you, "I'll take my leave."
"Wait!" the words fall out of his mouth before he knows what he's going to say next.
You turn around and he freezes. He freezes like a little rabbit.
"Uhm." he looks away, a deep flush on his cheeks. He doesn't see Sensei trying not to laugh, "I don't even know your name! How will I see you again?"
You laugh, and it's like wind chimes. You give him your name and it sounds like it belongs in his lips.
'That is so cheesy', his fifteen year old brain mocks, 'What is wrong with you?'
"I'll see you in town, Umemiya-kun."
The next day, the boy looks for you like a panting deer in search for water.
When he finds you and you smile at him, he realizes two things.
He likes you :D
Shit. He likes you.
-------
He kisses you on his sixteenth birthday a day after you hand him a potted flower and a handwritten letter.
"Take care of it, Ume!" you had said on the messy, dirty rooftop of Furin, "It holds my feelings for you." The flower is a white-lily to match his hair and the letter smells of your perfume that he has grown to love.
He races to you after he reads the letter, a letter that says nothing about your feelings for him, but contains all the hopes you have for him.
'I hope you achieve everything you desire' He runs down the steps, two at a time, his hand burning as he scraps it on the rusty railing.
'I hope you never lose the fight in you. The resolve I admire so much.' his lungs burn, he's always hated running, but he presses on.
'I hope that you know that you are loved by so many.' he can see you from one of the windows, waving goodbye to Hiragi at the gate.
'I will never forget you as long as I live.'
"Wait!" he shouts again, like the younger boy on the bed, desperate to know you.
You turn again, your eyebrows raised at his panting form.
"Wait, " he groans, god he hates running, "Give me a second." he coughs and you giggle.
Hiragi slowly backs away with an eyeroll, he doesn't hide the small smirk on his face.
A moment later, Umemiya takes your hand in his, "I, uh. Your letter."
"Yes? Did you read it?"
He nods frantically, "Thank you. For everything."
You tilt your head, "Do you know what White Lilies stand for?"
He clears his throat, "Um, not really?" he winces.
"THEY STAND FOR LOVE, YOU IDIOT!" Tsubaki shouts, Hiragi standing next to him, covering his face in embarrasment.
He looks to you, his eyes a little wide.
You smile at Tsubaki and he winks at you.
"You love me?"
You look away, "I have, for a while. And-"
Whatever words you're about to say never come to light because Umemiya holds your face in his hands and brings your lips to his. Goal be damned, he was a fool for ever thinking that love was frivolous. Fool, his mind cackles, how could this ever be stupid? How can your hands in his hair be stupid? how can your smile when he pulls away be stupid?
It is love that makes him live, he realizes, Love for the town, for the people, for you. It makes every punch worth it.
----
Umemiya plants the white-lily you gave him. There are still white lilies, two years later, along with your favorite flower, planted side by side in the garden he grew on Furin's rooftop.
He tends to them in the mornings along with Sugishita and he takes a picture and sends it to you.
"I can't wait! Sugishita!" he exclaims as the younger boy nods, his eyes sparkling. He looks up to you as well, you are always so kind to him.
"It's our two-year anniversary!"
212 notes · View notes
diorsluv · 10 months ago
Text
casual , part 3
“ i’ve heard so many rumors ”
series m. list previous chapter next chapter
( socialmedia!au )
yourusername
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liked by mackie.samo, jackhughes, and 259,226 others
yourusername post workout glow 🙈
view all comments
vivianliu mommy
→ yourusername whaaaaaat ⁉️⁉️⁉️
→ _quinnhughes …
→ rutgermcgroarty 📸📸
→ edwards.73 wtf
→ jackhughes no absolutely not
→ luca.fantilli HUH
→ dylanduke25 WHAT
→ vivianliu stop acting like i’ve never said ts before 🙄
edwards.73 you’re really fucking hot
liked by yourusername
→ lhughes_06 FUCK NO
→ jackhughes STEP THE FUCK BACK
→ _quinnhughes hey man what the FUCK
→ vivianliu GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GIRL
username14 ETHANS COMMENT?????!?!?!?!?!?!
markestapa pretty girl 🫣
→ yourusername that’s so unnatural stop
→ markestapa just doing what the homies do
→ lhughes_06 did the lack of my presence fuck with your heads because i explicitly told everyone to NOT mess w my sister.
→ markestapa suck it up lil bro
mackie.samo GODDAMN
→ yourusername LMFAOOOO
→ jackhughes back the hell up dude
→ _quinnhughes this is a literal fever dream
username54 rumors aint rumors anymore
username38 ethan’s practically screaming their relationship status to the world rn
colecaufield i’m not a part of this in any way but you genuinely look really good rosie
→ yourusername awwww thank you ☺️
→ jackhughes if you ever fucked around with my sister i would punch you in the face
→ colecaufield I HAVENT AND I WONT I SWEAR
→ jackhughes YEAH U BETTER NOT CUZ IM READY 🤺
sidneycrosby_87_ looking great kiddo!
→ yourusername oh my god sidney crosby.
→ lhughes_06 OH MY GOD SIDNEY CROSBY???
→ jackhughes this isn’t fair
→ vivianliu HI SIDNEY
rutgermcgroarty 🥴
→ yourusername 🤭
→ lhughes_06 i can’t tell if you’re flirting because you’re best friends or if you’re flirting to fuck
→ rutgermcgroarty whaaaaa i would never do such a thing and you know that luke (my door is open yourusername)
→ yourusername we’re flirting AS A JOKE because you’re gone now and you can’t dictate shit anymore 🙄 lhughes_06
username45 LMFAO did ethan ask everyone to say shit to cover his comment
mackie.samo i see you’re working out without me now 🤨
→ yourusername YOU LEFT ME. what was i supposed to do 😔😔
→ mackie.samo YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON
→ yourusername IM HAPPIER NOW 🤬
→ markestapa what is this 😟
adamfantilli woha
→ adamfantilli owah
→ adamfantilli woah
→ yourusername are you malfunctioning
→ adamfantilli yes (i was told to)
jackhughes did you redecorate your room??
→ yourusername yes my man helped me redecorate 🥰
→ jackhughes YOUR MAN????
→ lhughes_06 WHO THE HELL
→ yourusername guys it was a joke..
→ lhughes_06 your life is a joke
→ yourusername ?!???!????!
_quinnhughes i know who it is.
→ yourusername no u dont
→ lhughes_06 TELL ME
→ jackhughes WHO IS IT
→ trevorzegras congrats to the only hughes brother with a brain 🥳
→ jackhughes HEY
→ lhughes_06 NOT COOL TREVOR
→ rutgermcgroarty the fact that it took you this long is concerning
→ markestapa okay she ACTUALLY told you rutgermcgroarty
→ dylanduke25 fr the rest of us had to find out DIFFERENTLY
→ edwards.73 you guys are kinda slow
username55 i know someones gonna come back for this post tn…
→ username97 LMFAOOO
→ username21 STOP DONT EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT
username38 UR SO PRETTY
username30 GIRLLLL give us the workout routine please 😞🙏
username88 body goals hello????
trevorzegras ur bed was not in that corner last time i was there
→ yourusername i redecorated we already said so 🙄
→ jackhughes since when were you in my sister’s apartment??
→ trevorzegras i was in town for a game
→ jackhughes but detroit is 45 mins away????
→ trevorzegras WE WERE THERE FOR THREE DAYS
→ yourusername jack he was helping me set up my ikea dresser 😭😭
→ vivianliu i know someone’s absolutely LIVID
dylanduke25 WOW SO PRETTY
→ yourusername THANK U DUKER
→ dylanduke25 YOU’RE WELCOME
username96 help i audibly screamed when i saw this post
yourusername
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liked by markestapa, _alexturcotte, and 153,256 others
yourusername some of the guys invaded girls night at 12 in the morning and then literally kicked us out of my own room ⁉️⁉️
tagged: vivianliu, markestapa, g.brindley4, rutgermcgroarty, dylanduke25, luca.fantilli
view all comments
edwards.73 why was i not invited
→ yourusername u didn’t come idk i thought u were busy like always
→ edwards.73 but you know i would never be too busy for you
→ yourusername lmao doesnt really seem like it tho
vivianliu and they burnt our fucking cookies
→ yourusername FR almost burnt the apartment down 🙄
→ dylanduke25 THAT WASN’T EVEN US
→ vivianliu U KNOW DAMN WELL THAT WAS U AND RUT
→ rutgermcgroarty WHY ARE U BLAMING ME???
g.brindley4 oh my god i’m on the main
→ yourusername YOU’RE ON THE MAIN ‼️
username38 mark wearing sunglasses in a dark ass room 😭
dylanduke25 rut’s ass was in my face and i swear he fucking ripped ass like three times
→ yourusername HELLO WHAT??? I DONT REMEMBER THIS
→ rutgermcgroarty I LITERALLY DIDNT THO??
→ luca.fantilli i could smell that shit from the other room
→ g.brindley4 the absolute STENCH
username32 luca could not have been comfortable sleeping in that position 😭
→ username80 men are weird
username67 AHHH PINK COOKIES
luca.fantilli cuddling with the homies 🥴🥴
→ yourusername oh my god
→ markestapa 😘
→ dylanduke25 im blushing ☺️☺️
→ g.brindley4 best couple!
→ rutgermcgroarty 😝
→ vivianliu you’re all so weird
trevorzegras marky lookin kinda cute tn 🫣
→ yourusername STOP
→ markestapa yes i’ll go out with you!
mackie.samo um. i facetimed him and hes kicking, screaming and crying?!?!?
→ yourusername oops
→ mackie.samo yeah what a big fucking oops 🙄
→ vivianliu HES THE TOXIC ONE
username77 getting kicked out of your own room is crazy
username48 ethan’s definitely punching the air rn
_alexturcotte what happened to the boyfriend
→ yourusername technically he’s not my boyfriend cuz he doesn’t like labels!
→ colecaufield 😭😭
→ yourusername HIS WORDS NOT MINE
→ trevorzegras imagine what’ll happen when your brothers find out 😂
→ yourusername 1. for the love of god stop using that emoji and 2. they wont find out!
→ _quinnhughes i found out
→ yourusername besides you 😒😒
username79 ethan’s definitely regretting not putting a label on them
username92 do luke and jack never check the comments 😭😭
→ vivianliu they did but rosie gaslighted them into believing it’s not ethan and they barely pay attention to what the others say anyways
→ username60 LMAOOO
lhughes_06 WE NEVER HAD SLEEPOVERS WHEN I WAS THERE WHAT??
→ yourusername i’m the better sibling
→ vivianliu correct
→ rutgermcgroarty correct
→ edwards.73 correct
→ colecaufield correct
→ adamfantilli correct
→ trevorzegras correct
→ _alexturcotte correct
→ markestapa correct
→ luca.fantilli correct
→ mackie.samo correct
→ dylanduke25 correct
→ _quinnhughes not correct????
→ jackhughes INCORRECT TF
edwards.73 I CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN’T INVITE ME
→ yourusername IM SORRY I GEN THOUGHT U WERE JUST BUSY AGAIN
→ markestapa there’s no way you’re still on this
→ edwards.73 inv me next time 😔
next chapter notes ) happy april fools dayyy!! hope yall got some good pranks in 😈😈 and guys HE DOESN’T DO LABELS 😓
tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood
310 notes · View notes
veryberryjelly · 1 year ago
Text
tangled in lights
pairing : theo nott x reader
🎃 - pillow forts
👻 - " stop playing around with the lights, it's not funny "
𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞
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never had you been so bored on a saturday.
with your friends all studying and theo not arriving at school until tomorrow after the summer holidays, you were truly bored out of your mind.
to the point where you had made a pillow fort onto of your bed.
with your curtains drawn around your bed you had draped a sheet over the top to truly enclose yourself and had strung fairy lights around the bed frame.
it took ages.
and by the time you were done with it you were actually very proud of yourself.
when you were younger your pillow forts never looked like this, mainly because you didn't have the skill to accomplish it, but it just made this one all the more impressive.
you had been curled up in it all day with a cup of coffee and a book that you had been meaning to get to for weeks but never found the time.
it was a truly lovely day.
and you had been undisturbed until the lights in your dorm room started flickering.
" stop playing around with the lights, it's not funny " you called out, assuming that pansy was just trying to get you out of your fort for something.
which really wasnt going to happen.
when the flickering of the lights didn't stop, you set your book down on the bed and balanced your coffee down ontop of it before popping your head out.
" what the hell is w-" you started but immediately cut yourself off when you didnt see pansy or any of the girls at your doorway.
instead, stood in your dorm was your 6 foot boyfriend still damp from the rain outside. he must have just gotten in.
" holy shit " you said, jumping out of your fort, catching yourself momentarily on the string lights around your four poster.
the lights stopped as theo made his way over to you to stop you from falling over.
the minute you were free you launched yourself into his arms, a bright smile on your face as you embraced the man you hadn't seen in weeks.
his arms wrapped tightly around you, lifting you from the floor as he did so, your legs instinctively wrapping themselves around his waist.
" what are you doing here? you weren't supposed to get here until tuesday " you questioned, not daring to move your head from the crook of his neck, instead choosing to continue imprinting his scent in your brain.
" i used the floo. my parents were being pricks and i just wanted to come and see you " he replied, his breath warm against your neck.
its as the mention of his parents that had you pulling back to look at him.
" are you okay? " you questioned, knowing the crap with his parents got to him quite easily.
" im perfectly fine, darling. but i'm here now, and i just want to enjoy some time with you before classes start next week. "
his reply caused your smile to widen even further.
" well then... " you started, lowering your legs from around his waist and taking his hand in yours.
" let me show you around my pillow fort "
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471 notes · View notes
spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 8 months ago
Text
Orange Blossoms
Pairing: Buck x Y/N
Word Count: mmmmm I forgot to check and I’m lazy
Notes: Lets see if I actually write this!! I’m literally in the middle of Strawberries and Cream rn, it’s 5/15/24 (now) and I’m just…. Testing the waters with releasing the first chapter P.S I DID NOT EDIT THIS BEFORE POSTING I HATE MYSELF IM DOING IT RN
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Chapter 1: Eddie is a Traitor
It was just supposed to be a normal Thursday. Go to work, fight some fires, harass Eddie, go home. Do it all over again the next day. That’s how it was every day and he liked it. Especially the people he worked with, that was his family. 
He’s putting on a different work shirt when he looks up, a girl is standing there with her back to him holding a helmet in her hands. It’s sleek and pink. It’s got the most adorable cat ears on it too. He’s gotta take another look at it. As he walks she turns around, her hair flying over her shoulder. 
It’s like he can hear wedding bells going off in his brain. He shortcircuits immediately as she starts walking towards him. He can hear the soft thud of her shoes, he’s surprised he thought angels had wings. She smiles pleasantly at him, the California sun creating a little halo behind her. Or he’s having a stroke he can’t tell. 
“Hi I’m-” He sticks his hand out and Bobby suddenly steps in front of him 
“No, you aren’t” 
He knew that look. “Come on honey, I’ll introduce you to the others” you waved shyly at Buck as Bobby turned you around by your shoulders and steered you upstairs
Buck stood there, his hand still out as he watched Bobby march you up to Hen and Chimney. You giggled a little at the top of the stairs when you saw him still staring, a dumb look on his face
“You good?” Eddie gave him a high five as he walked by and Buck blinked slowly 
“I think I’m in love” 
Eddie snorted and bumped his side, pushing him out of the way so he could get to his locker 
“Isn’t that like the fourth time this month you’ve said that? Who was it this time” 
He melted on the spot, sighing dreamily and tilting his head to the side 
“It’s…”
Eddie looked at him expectantly 
“It’s uh…”
Eddie put his head against his locker, snickering into the metal 
“You don’t remember?”
“I don’t think she said. I don’t think she had the chance” 
“Why wouldn’t she have had the chance?” 
“Bobby took her upstairs” 
Eddie turned to look at him again. “Are you talking about a girl, about this tall” he holds his hand up midway to his chest “curly pink hair? Skin tanned to the gods” 
“That’s my angel”
“Dude. That’s Athena’s niece” 
It’s like he gets hit by a train and his entire world comes crashing down and really what even was the point in living anymore if he couldn’t have you? He might as well do a sweet flip off a cliff. At least he could go out in a cool way 
“You do know how to backflip,” Eddie says as he shuts his locker 
“Huh?” Buck looks at him now, a little dazed. A weird look on his face
“You were spiraling right? Because you think your life is over now” 
“My life is over now!” 
“No, it’s not.” He takes him by the arm and jogs upstairs, tapping the railing when they get up there. It catches your attention and you turn your head, your hands clasped sweetly in front of you.
Honestly, everything about you was sweet. From your soft pink hair, down to the white platform boots you had on. He liked the purple plaid skirt you had on. With a little purple beret and the matching purple cardigan. You looked like a doll, a very sweet, very cute, doll. God, you were too sweet for him 
“Oh my god. Evan!” His name is shouted at him and he flinches back. Your hand is out towards him, and Eddie is standing behind you with his hands on your shoulders. Bobby has his arms crossed over his chest and Hen and Chim are looking at each other 
“I said this is Y/N” Eddie sounds stressed and that makes Buck blush. He’d gotten lost in you all over again. 
“Oh-oh. Uh Hi I’m, Bevan- no shit Barkley no-no god. Buck. I’m- my name is Evan I- I go by Buck. Hi.”
You’re giggling as he stumbles over his words and god he wishes you wouldn’t do that, it just sounds so cute and you’re making him flustered. Fuck usually he’s so smooth and flirty, what the hell gives??
“Hi Evan” You smile up at him and he swears he’s never seen anything or anyone so pretty 
“You have pretty teeth,” He says dreamily as he’s shaking your hand. Eddie curses under his breath and you laugh, still shaking his hand 
“T-thank you? Um. I brush twice a day!” 
“Oh it shows!! it- it shows. You know that you uh-you take care of yourself and I mean- I could have said I liked your nail polish cause I do!!…it matches your clothes but no! No… I had to- I had to say your teeth” 
You cover your mouth, trying to keep from laughing any harder. He’s so flustered and his cheeks are so pink and you feel a little bad. And he’s literally still shaking your hand. Eddie pulls your hand from his and slaps Buck’s down, giving him a “wtf” look over your head. Buck clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets 
“Well! I gotta go fill the truck! You know gotta make it all nice and full of stuff that we need I’m just. I’m gonna go” He points down the stairs and goes running, you wave awkwardly at his retreating figure with a little smile on your face 
“Uh bye! It was nice meeting you!!”
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Buck walks out of the station, dumping the bucket of water out onto the pavement. He hadn’t seen you for most of the day and he was glad. 
Okay not that glad, he wanted to stare at you all day, but at least he wasn’t acting like a dumbass anymore 
“Sabrina Carpenter was right. I cannot find my chill. God her teeth?! Seriously??” He mutters to himself as he watches the water soak into the ground. 
“Talking to yourself?” 
You ask as you walk towards him, he spins around watching you walk over. God, even the way you walked, with all the confidence in the world was sexy as hell. 
“Yeah” his voice cracks and you giggle when he lets his head fall back in embarrassment. Fuck was he actually 15 again 
“Whatcha talkin' about?” He notices you’ve got a white mini backpack. It’s cute. God of course it matches your outfit
“Oh you know, your teeth” He visibly cringes and you slap your hand over your mouth trying to control your laughter 
“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad” 
“Yes. Yes, it was. You’re just being nice” 
“I think it was a genuine compliment!” you protest as you stop in front of him. You’re so much shorter than he is, he just wants to put his hand on your head and ruffle your hair. He bets you’d hate that, but god it would be cute 
“It was. A stupid one, but you know, you do have pretty teeth…and nails!” He smiles at you, his cheeks are pink and he’s flustered again but he’s outside and the sun is shining down on you and you’re glowing 
“You have pretty teeth too,” You tell him, smiling and giving him a little wink “and a cute butt!” 
His mouth drops as you walk past him with a smug little smirk “There! Now we both said something embarrassing!” 
He watches you walk over to a pink motorcycle. It’s sexy and sleek and clearly customized. He watches you climb on and start to put on your helmet 
“That’s yours?!” He asks as he jogs over. It’s a little big for you, but you obviously know what you’re doing 
“Of course it is, what do you think?”
“Uh I think I want to be a passenger Princess one day that’s for damn sure” He gives your helmet a little tap with his knuckles 
“Hope you have two of those” 
You giggle and pick a couple pieces of fuzz from the inside of it and toss them aside 
“Actually my white one is coming in today! Maybe I can come pick you up from work sometime and we can mess around” 
“Really? That sounds so cool! He says, he’s forgotten a lot of his nerves now. Now you’re just a pretty girl on a pretty bike 
“Yeah here, gimme your phone!” 
He takes his phone from his pocket and you add your number, you hand it back and flip your hair over your shoulder 
“Here, take a contact photo of me while I look cool” 
He laughs and takes a few steps back while you put your helmet on and do a cute little pose, your head tilted with peace signs 
He snaps the photo and sets it, and then he secretly sets it as his wallpaper too. He gives you a thumbs up and you make a call me sign. He fumbles his phone for a second before calling you 
“You look so freaking cool” He says as soon as you answer, his cheeks flushing again.
“Why thank you”you giggle “Send me a picture of you later so I can have a contact photo for you!” 
“Oh yeah okay sure! Uh-yeah” 
“Can you do me one more favor?” 
“Anything” He says it way too fast 
“I forgot to get Eddie’s number, he invited me for drinks tonight but Uncle Bobby pulled me away too fast to get his number” you’re rolling your eyes at Bobby as Buck’s heart is shattering 
“Uh. Yeah. Yeah sure I can do that. I’ll send it now…I gotta go finish mopping, I’ll see you whenever I suppose. Uh- Bye”
He hangs up before you can say anything and he awkwardly waves bye before running back into the station. He can hear your bike start up, he doesn’t stop hiding behind the doors until he hears you leave. 
He’s not sending that number. 
Ever. 
Okay yes he is because he said he’d do anything but he’s gonna kill Eddie first so you two can’t go out. 
He mopes all the way upstairs, stomping his feet until he gets over to the comfy chairs and flops down in it. He sinks down far into the seat and crossing his arms over his chest. He’s not talking to Eddie for as long as he lives 
“Hey man you got a second” 
“No” 
He turns away and curls up his legs. He barely fits in the chair anymore and Eddie chuckles 
“You poutin’?” Eddie pokes at his thigh
“No” 
“Okay. Anyway have you seen Y/N I need to talk to her”
“No” 
Eddie raises an eyebrow, walking over to stand in front of Buck 
“Hey what’s goin on buddy?” His voice is softer this time, worried that something happened to him. 
“Nothing” 
Buck tries to curl up even tighter but this chair was not built for a man his size throwing a tantrum 
“Buck come on just tell me what’s going on, please?”
“Leave me alone, Judas” 
Eddie’s mouth pops open and he whacks his legs “What did I do?!” 
“I said I didn’t wanna talk about it!” He snaps and Eddie rolls his eyes, he pulls Bucks legs and they fall easily. Now he’s just weirdly slumped and still not moving 
“Buck. Just talk to me, you big fat baby” 
“Why? So you can call your girlfriend?!” He gives him double middle fingers 
“What girlfriend?!” Eddie asks, his eyes squinting 
“Y/N! She wanted me to send her your number!” 
“And have you?”
“No,, I hate you”
“Can you just do it?” 
“Can your mom just do it” 
“Okay you know what-“ Eddie attacks Buck, tickling his sides and Buck shrieks, falling off the chair and laughing as he and Eddie tumble to the floor, Eddie rips his phone from his pocket and opens it
“Oh my god does she know you made her your screensaver?”
He pins Buck and sends you his number, Buck fights his way from Eddie’s hold and punches him in the side, it’s not hard at all but knocks him off 
“How dare you tickle attack me Edmundo Diaz! I thought we were friends”
“You called me Judas!”
“Because you are!!” 
“No I'm not! Asshat! You didn’t even let me talk you just hated me!”
“Yeah because you asked my girl on a date!”
“She’s literally not your girl?? And also it’s not a date dumbass! I was going to ask you if you could come and if not reschedule with her! So you could have some time with her, and I could cover for you sounding like an idiot” 
Buck gasps and slaps his cheeks, his eyes huge 
“Eddieee” he whines and Eddie rolls his eyes, getting off the floor, Buck stands up with him and jumps on him, wrapping his arms and legs around him like a koala. He nearly knocks them over again
“You did that for meee?” 
“I will drop your ass over the railing” 
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Buck isn’t sure what to wear so he brings a small mountain of clothes over to Eddie’s house in the form of a large suitcase. He heaves it onto Eddie’s bed and it pops open easily when he unzips it 
“Do you know what she’s wearing?” Buck asks as he watches Eddie go through the suitcase 
“No…” he mumbles distractedly as he sets aside a couple of shirts “But I can call her” 
“Does she know I’m coming?” He twiddles his thumbs nervously, chewing his bottom lip. Eddie flicks his cheek and he stops, frowning at him 
“Yeah she knows. But if you call her it’ll seem like you want to match”
“But if you call her it’ll seem like I asked you to ask for me” 
“Damn you’ve got a point” Eddie sighs, holding the edge of the suitcase 
“Is it just the three of us tonight?” 
“Yeah…but I’ve got an idea” Eddie grabs his phone and texts Hen. He and Buck spend a few minutes going through the suitcase and organizing it before she calls 
“Let me get this straight,” She says on speaker “You want me to pretend like I’m coming for drinks tonight, to find out what color Y/N is wearing so Buck can match her? And then I say oh Karen wanted to go on a date instead whoops can’t make it”
“Yes,” They say in unison 
“...I’ll call you back” 
Buck fist pumps and Eddie chuckles at him 
“You really wanna impress her huh?”
“You know she said I could ride on her motorcycle?” Buck falls back on the bed, holding a pillow tightly to his chest
“Oh god she was so sexy when she got on that bike Eddie, I swear to god I nearly creamed my pants”
“Ew” 
“She looked so, so badass. Which is crazy considering what she was wearing because at first I thought she looked like a doll you know-“
“Buck?” Eddie stares at his phone 
“-And she still looked like a doll even on the bike but she went from a super cute doll to a-
“Buck” he looks up at him, waving his phone in front of his face
“-Super sexy doll. You know what I mean? God, she’s so versatile”
His phone pings and he picks it up “I wonder what she’s gonna-” He stares at the picture Eddie just sent him. You’re standing in front of a mirror with your little peace sign. You’ve got a black mini skirt on with a high slit on the thigh, a black strappy tank top with a corset front and a set of black platform boots. There’s a leather jacket hanging over your arm and a black heart shaped purse. 
“Hen says she said she’s just gotta accessorize and then she’s done” Eddie’s voice is quiet, his jaw would still be on the floor if Buck’s wasn’t already. He starts going through the suitcase, trying to find something. Buck has good options. It’s just hard to be on your level. But they’re both gonna damn well try. 
“I- I think I-“ 
“Buck I swear to god if you creamed your pants I’m gonna throw up”
They show up “fashionably late” to the bar. But really it’s just because after Buck finally recovered he changed at least seven times before they finally decided on the right outfit. He’s wearing a tight fitting black button down with a few of the buttons undone, because Eddie says it showcases his muscles the best and because having the sleeves quartered drives the ladies crazy. He’s got dark black jeans on and his work shoes, which are shined to the gods because in his rush to grab clothes he did not grab shoes. 
They walk in together, with Eddie purposely wearing a little bit of a loser fitting and more relaxed kind of outfit, nice blue jeans, and a flannel. He wore his work shoes so it looks like they rushed but also didn’t rush. Effortlessly putting together a flawless outfit. 
Nailed it. 
“You think she’ll be mad we’re late” Buck’s voice cracks again and Eddie snorts 
“No, she seemed perfectly fine. She’s over there” He points to the booth where you’re sitting, sipping on a fruity-looking drink. 
He leads Buck over, they practiced this so Buck could sort of be revealed. It made sense when they did it at home 
“Hey Y/N! Sorry we’re late” Eddie slides in on the opposite side of the booth and takes off his coat, putting it next to him so Buck is forced to sit by you…oh yeah it’s all going to plan 
“Oh it’s okay! I was a little late myself so it all worked out!” You scoot over a little, patting the bench next to you. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes roll over his body, you bite your lip a little and look away, feeling your cheeks get hot 
“You guys picked a cool place” you clear your throat as Buck sits next to you, putting his arm on the back of the booth to get comfy. He smells good, like the ocean and summer and a little smokey and god does he look good too. 
“Actually it was Bucks's idea. You know what I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna order our drinks at the bar and bring them over” Eddie excuses himself, and the two of you are left alone. You turn your body to face Buck’s, and now it’s his turn for his eyes to roam over your body. You looked stunning in the picture but in person? That was a whole other ball game. 
“You uh- you look pretty Y/N. It’s a really different style from earlier” 
Your cheeks flush and you smile at him a bit shyly “Thanks, I like to wear a lot of different styles actually! It’s fun!” You scoot a little closer to him now, your knees touching 
“You look super good to you know, you um-you clean up pretty well” 
His heart is practically beating out of his chest as he watches you reach for your drink, taking a long slow sip. He notices your hands trembling and frowns 
“Hey, are you okay?” He takes your hands, holding them gently “You’re shaking”
“Uh- I’m, I’m good I’m- I’m so” you pull your hands away quickly and reach for your drink again, he pushes it away a little and hooks your chin with his finger, making you look up at him. He’s staring into your eyes, but he looks worried as his firefighter's brain turns on 
“Have you eaten anything? Your drink seems a little strong for an empty stomach, maybe I should go order you something”
You put your hands on his chest to make him sit back down “No! No that’s okay I’m fine! Uh- I’m- okay” you take a deep breath “Can I be honest with you?” 
“You can tell me anything Y/N. I’m here for you” he turns your palms and kisses them before holding them to his chest to warm them up. 
“Y-you’re making me nervous” you gulp and his eyes widen, his cheeks flush and he lets go of your hands 
“Oh” 
You cringe and he chuckles, scooting closer to you and putting his arm over your shoulders. His scent is intoxicating as it washes over you, the close proximity not helping the tiny buzz you’re getting. 
“So what you’re saying is…I have pretty teeth” 
You laugh loudly, your head falling back against his arm and you smack your hand over your mouth. He leans into your neck laughing with you and giving you a sweet kiss on your cheek 
“Maybe I’ll make you flustered now” He winks and you roll your eyes, the light blush on your cheeks giving you away. 
“You made me flustered when I met you this afternoon. You were just too in your head to notice. I could barely talk to you” 
“I wish you’d made me shy like you were. But instead, you just make me stupid” 
You giggle and lean into him “Sorry about that” 
“S’okay doll, we ended up here together anyway right?” 
Eddie comes back over with a tray, he’s got two drinks and a basket of cheese curds
“Hope you’re not lactose intolerant” he jokes and hands Buck his drink 
“No actually, couldn’t keep me away from cheese even if I was though. Especially fried cheese” 
Buck takes one from the basket and holds it up to your lips
“Let’s soak up some of that alcohol” he watches the way your lips part and your tongue comes out to accept the bite…he can just imagine it wrapped around something else other than a delicious cheese curd. He grunts and turns his head away when he feels Eddie kick him under the table for staring. He knows Eddie knows exactly what he was thinking 
The rest of the night carries on wonderfully, you get to know both men as they tell stories about each other, trying to one up the other and it’s funny as hell. You’re hanging off of Buck by the end of the night just trying to keep yourself from getting kicked from the bar for how loudly you’re laughing. Eddie is laid on the seat, snorting into his coat and Buck is holding onto you tightly as he makes no sounds, trying to start breathing again. 
Eventually you all catch your breath, and just lay there for a bit, still giggling. It’s amazing you’re the only one that’s slightly tipsy, the other two are just idiots and that makes you giggle more. Especially Eddie who was the designated driver. Buck gets up from the booth, helping you up. He catches you as you stumble into his chest, his cheeks burn red when you look up at him, a playful little look in your eyes. He can practically see the little devil horns on your head 
Actually. He can. 
“Have you been wearing these all night??” He pats the little headband and Eddie falls back in his seat laughing again. You crash into Bucks's chest, your face smooshed against the soft material of his shirt as you laugh
“Buck that’s the 6th time you’ve asked that. They came with her drink, the specialty of the month. Devil MAY care?? Remember the one the bartender came up with” 
Buck and Eddie drop you off at Athena’s house and Buck walks you up to the door with his arm around you. He takes the keys from your hand and unlocks it for you before dropping them back in your open palm. He takes a few steps back and puts his hands in his pockets, you turn to look up at him, your hands clasped behind your back 
“I had so much fun tonight. Maybe we can do something else this week? If you’re not busy”
“With just me?” He teases “I’ll see if Eddie is free! Maybe we can go bowling or something” 
“If he’s not that’s okay- I mean. I wouldn’t mind being alone with you,” 
Oh Eddie is definitely not coming. 
“Alright Doll, sounds fun to me. I’ll call you and we can plan something with or without him” he wiggles his eyebrows as you giggle, and the way you giggle makes him want to kiss you. But he knows for a fact Athena’s got cameras. 
“Well, I uh- I should go…Eddie is probably gettin' tired. You know him, big ole sleepy guy” 
You shake your head, smiling at him “Yeah okay… I’ll see you soon?” 
“Yup…soon” He walks backward carefully, watching you stand there “Go on, get inside cutie”
Hopefully, the cameras didn’t have sound. 
You blush and give him that little wave of yours before turning around and going in 
“Night Buck..”
“Night Doll” 
He’s about to turn around when the door opens and you come running back out again, you pull him down to your height and kiss him on the cheek. 
He was stunned, to say the least. He melts for you, his body going all jellied and limp. He hurries down the walkway as soon as you’re in the house safe and sound. He’s definitely got a skip in his step as he dances his way back to the car. 
The next morning he’s just as happy as he was when he went to bed, he’s humming as he pours everyone a cup of coffee. Setting them all out on the table with the breakfast Eddie is setting out too. He’s just putting the silverware down when Bobby comes up the stairs, narrowing his eyes at him. 
“Did you call my niece “cutie”
Okay, so the cameras did have sound. 
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jinkiezzsstuff · 11 months ago
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Rivalry To Romance
velvette x f!reader
Summary: You worked in cosmetics at the Vee tower alongside Velvette, unfortunately you’ve never gotten along. You found her obnoxious and she found you to be a pest. However you struggle with yourself on whether you truly hate her or just can’t accept your true emotions.
Warnings: Fem reader, reader throws things again so does velvette, valentinos presence yuck, suggestive but nothing serious. No mention of readers hairtype, bodytype or skin colour, shorter than i originally wanted womp but I think that’s it but lmk
Word count: 2.5k
we need more velvette i love her so much and there’s like no info on her character or back story at least that i could find woomp womp im trying clear up what i have drafted but sheesh im so picky and a perfectionist about it i wish i was a writing machine that it could come directly out of my brain like i see it y’know?
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“I fucking hate her!” You screeched tossing make up across the room at your assistant. “Please, calm down, my head hurts.” Angel whined from your couch as you paced around him, your assistant booking it after the second thing, that being a vase, was thrown.
“I can't, she's intolerable, seriously. A brat.” You grit plopping down onto the cushion beside him. The two of you were in the Vee tower, you being what Velvette would call ‘the shadow of the vees’, you got in on the triangle based on accessibility; for the Vees that is. You were a cosmetic creator and produced varying products for demons of all kinds, not only was it beneficial for Valentino's pornstars but Velvette’s models.
When you were a self employed business it was still very lucrative, and getting around quickly. Gaining the opportunities to work with overlords, sinners you never expected as well as selling and gaining quicker than you could’ve imagined. It wasn’t long until Velvette had caught onto the rage, and that’s how you ended up in the tower working alongside her.
It was terrible from the start; you weren’t some meek little demon, yet Velvette treated you like you were some Imp! You hated her bratty, disrespectful loud mouth and you never failed to let her know.
BIting your nails down too low without realizing, Angel grabbed your hand successfully stopping you, and leaned forward. “Hey listen I know how it is to have a sucky boss. Heh, literally.” Angel snickered to himself while you muttered that she wasn’t your boss. “But if i’m being honest, it sounds like sexual frustration,” He twiddled his fingers at you while a sly smile pulled at his lips.
You gaped at him, head falling forward in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me, hah, no fucking way dude!” You exclaimed, leaning back, you sighed frustrated at the conversation. “Oh shit, gotta go toots, boss is calling. Thanks for letting me up, see ya later.”
You waved by to Angel watching him go. Sitting with your elbows on your knees you stared off into space. Sure you suppose you admired her, sure, she was pretty, occasionally sure you’d check her out admiring how the clothes fit her, but that was purely platonic! Velv was a fashion designer, of course she knows how to accentuate her natural beauty.
And perhaps there were times when you couldn’t quite decide what you felt for her questioning your intentions second guessing your actions. Sometimes as you gazed at her while she worked, you wanted to ease her up a little, relax her from the stress whether that be from praise, a gentle rub or kiss, or something a little more promiscuous; you simply wanted to be her relief.
Other times you wanted to fight her and bitch her out, and then fuck her? You actually didn’t know and it drove you insane, but Angel was the first to spot the way you acted, overly aggressive.
You groaned, frustration emitted from you very clearly as you tugged at your hair. Standing you walk quickly toward Velvette’s and yours’ work sections on the tower's mid floor. Velvette stood at a table when you walked in, she only barely turned her head to you, too busy studying fabrics and colours.
“What’s the pretentious brat got cooking today?” You say walking up beside her looking down at the table. Rolling her eyes she turned to you hand on her hip. “Can you piss off? I’ve got shit to do, real work, not lazing around with a whore.”
Rolling your eyes right back at her, you looked down to the table. “Angels no more of a whore than that filthy moth.” You muttered fingering the fabrics, eyes dancing around the blueprints for an outfit.
“What’re these for?” You ask, meeting her gaze, a bored look plagued her face, but she loosened up slightly at the mention of her work. “These are the new blueprints for our outfits for the upcoming broadcast Vox has planned. He wants to market tech, pornos, clothing and your cosmetics so everything’s gotta be right.”
Velvette looked down harshly at the things laid out in front of her, you could see the gears working in her head as her eyes flicked around the different blueprints, fabrics and rough drafts. You hummed, flicking through a particular set of blueprints that caught your eye. “I’m sure you’ll do great hun, always do.” You muttered absentmindedly, barely focusing on the praise that came from your lips.
Velvette’s head jerked back a bit, eyes watching you. She wasn’t expecting such softly said words to come from you so suddenly, but she definitely didn’t mind it. “Do you want something specific?” Looking toward her you shrugged, trying to ignore the yearning you had to be nearer.
“Just a dress, suppose the only request I have is that I look the part.” You didn’t mean for it to come off sad however, it did, and Velvette felt the rare sting of guilt ping past her heart. She was in fact the one who fought with you the most on who was worthy in the tower, but she always felt you were trying to replace her as “the guru”.
The fight you had earlier was present in your mind as you stood there, it was dumb another thing that sent you spiralling. You stomped off and straight into Angel, thank goodness for that because his presence calmed you surprisingly. The fight was about time slots with models, mainly because one model had been held up by Velvette because she was being a snooty princess again about what the model wore, meanwhile time was ticking on how much time you had to do said model's makeup.
Which ended up spiralling into a screaming cat fight, where you tossed things at her and she tossed them back slinging a slew of colour insults at you as she did so. Normally you and Velvette never apologised but as you stood there beside her looking over stuff you felt as though the moment of peace was close enough to an apology.
“Do you really wanna go to this?” You asked breathing in deeply, catching hints of her perfume that left a warm familiar feeling in your chest. “Hm not really, but we have to.” Picking up navy blue colours, she stacked the square fabrics together.
Swallowing you ask; “What’s your favourite colour?” Stunned Velvettes hands stalled their actions, her eyes meeting yours. You were waiting looking neutrally at her, you simply wanted to know. It was easy to see Voxs was arrays of blues, Val’s pink and red, you fancied emerald and sea greens, and her.. you didn’t know, hot pink?
“I fancy whites, purples, plums…” Trailing off finger to her mouth in thought, she nodded one sternly. “White and plum.” You smile ever so slightly it was a decent conversation for sure. But it definitely didn’t help you inner fight about your feelings for her.
~
Today was the day of the broadcast, the lot of you ventured to Valentinos floor of the tower, doing it up for a big show. There were tons of tables set up, lighting, cameras; the porn stars were done up thanks to you and Velv, they sat on a plush couch their section was going to be an ‘interview with the stars’ no doubt being entirely fake lies. Angel was a part of the cast, much to your dismay, you’d rather him be far from Valentino, but that wasn’t possible. Another area was new improved tech, with tech nerds ready to present and push the new models Voxtech had made.
Off to the back was Velvette’s section where various manikins stood cladded in Velvette’s best work, there were also models present around waiting to pose with the manikins. Your area felt blander than the rest, your cosmetics sat on varying different platforms that lifted them aesthetically, and you had a few head models with you, cameras focused in on only their eyes and lips for the occasional shot. In the middle of the room was where you, Velvette, Vox and Valentino would be.
The lot of you were going to be standing tall with wide smiles, the only one who was set to talk was Vox, the rest of you were just their to claim name to your things. Velvette was running around taking Sinstagram stories and pictures of everything around, building anticipation and hype for everything to come.
You watched her bounce around every now and again yelling at a worker or model about their place here, before getting back to puttering around. She wore a white dress with hearts at the bottom, and her hair was done up in a classic poof instead of her straightened pigtails. “Admiring the goods?” Angel asks, scaring the shit out of you, gasping you grabbed your chest in shock. “Fuck Angel don’t do that to me, and ye- wait what?”
Angel cackled an accusatory finger pointed to you. “Oh cmon! Even Val knows you’re into her, and that’s him.” You stared in disbelief before shaking your head no rapidly. “How would he even know? We barely spend time near each other, I hate him more than Velv.”
Angel scoffed, crossing two sets of his arms he leant against the wall next to him. “Please Velvette’s always ranting about how annoying you are over the phone, telling Val when Vox is probably too sicka her to hear it! Then she goes off saying how you can’t be nice and how you always make it a mission to come and pester er’ and Val said it’s because you wanted to fuck her!” Angel exclaimed slyly leaning forward into you and than backward away.
“That’s not true, we just can’t get along.” Like the devil heard your words, Velvette skipped up to you three, pulling the two of you into her. “Alright! The bitches! That’s more like it!” Velvette shouted, snapping a picture, Angel defaulted to his actor ways posing lustfully at the camera, meanwhile you just smiled unbelievably at Velvette. Once the picture was taken she wasted no time stepping back and sending off the post with a series of different hashtags.
“You look happy today?” You ask more than say watching Velvette smile around the room. “Of course people have stayed quiet, and not been a dickhead all day. Not to mention Vox and Val aren’t in moods.” You nodded in agreement, eyes casting briefly over to the TV who walked around checking the different cameras while Val smoked in the back.
Angel not so subtly snuck off giving your back a shove closer towards Velvette. Even if you could admit to yourself you felt more than platonic emotions for her, it would be extremely hard to accept it or attempt to make a move when you didn’t even know her sexuality.
She’d never seemed interested in Vox or Valentino, but you’ve not seen her eyeing women either. It made you more uncomfortable to ponder the future of accepting your feelings when you could just be cruel and ignore them. “What’s up with you spacey?” Velvette suddenly asked her phone off facing toward the floor.
You anxiously fiddled with your short dress wondering if now would be a good time to start something. “Nothing Velvette, just nerves i guess.” Velvette rolled her eyes, shaking her head disapprovingly. “You’ll be fine, always are anyways. We don’t do shit, it’s all Vox.”
Fair enough. Although that’s true it didn’t really matter considering it wasn’t what was really bothering you. “Are you straight?” You blurt suddenly, hand jerking upward to cover your mouth. Velvette’s eyebrow raised a ‘huh’ falling from her lips.
With a decision in mind, you couldn’t deny it, knowing that even Val saw something you know how you can’t hide it. The daydreams you have of her warm skin next to yours in the morning, the friendship you wish you had, the desire to have her lipstick smeared against your lips, wanting to post cheesy couple pictures together all over Sinstagram.
“Uhh, yeah, are you straight because I haven’t ever seen you around anybody, like, ahem, that.” You stutter out staring at her trying to gauge every little emotion on her face. “Suppose I could be considered, but i fuck who i want no matter the package.” She finally replied, returning to herself after spacing out, looking calmer than you.
“Would ya fuck me?” Scratching the back of your neck as her eyes scanned your face rapidly, trying to read you, trying to tell if you were serious. “Yeah, if you weren’t such a bitch.” You hum watching her once more, this time she looked a little meeker, shifting from foot to foot, her gaze casted downward.
“And what about love? Y’know not just wanting to have a hook up?” You asked a little apprehension evident in your voice, you craned your neck back trying to distance yourself subconsciously.
Softly you felt Velvettes gentle hand on your shoulder, focusing all your attention on her, you watched as her face turned out to the side, only looking at you through her peripheral. Her other hand crawled up to your other shoulder, before drifting softly to your neck, sending shivers down your spine and straight to your toes.
Velvette was still at fully extended arms length, so you stepped forward, cupping her cheeks gently like she was made of the fragilest material. Now eye to eye the two of you simply stared waiting, while invading eachothers space. Cautiously you leaned forward thankfully being her height, you hand your eyes closed already hoping she’d get the message, and either pull away running or indulge.
You were more than shocked to feel her lipstick covered lips meet with yours, soft yet eager. You kissed her back slowly, trying to convey the emotions and feelings you felt without speaking, the apology you wanted to say but didn’t know how.
Pulling you closer by the neck, you fell into her slightly, wrapping your arms around her like she was your world, fully absorbed in the passionate kiss you were sharing. Just as the kiss turned slightly heated, tongues introducing and slipping past the barrier of eachothers mouth Vox screamed. “You’ve got Velvettes makeup on your face, FUCK, why?! Why?! Five minutes before we’re live!” Jumping apart the two of you looked toward Vox who was already glitching out, meanwhile Val just stood smuggly sucking his pipe.
“Don’t worry he’s just mad that he now owes me one hundred dollars, losers weepers,” Val breathed his smoke wafting around the TV’s head. Velvette threw the bird at Vox before turning to you pulling out a handkerchief. “Weren’t you calling someone geriatric, now you’re pulling out handkerchiefs?” You teased, her hand coming up to wipe her black lipstick that stained your face.
“Oh piss off, or we’re both fired,” She scolded but there was no malice in her words like before making your heart flutter. “So how long before this gets out, our little before the air make out sesh?” You inquire as she handed the cloth to you, you wiping her smeared lipstick just as she did for you. “Based on the vibrations from my phone, not long.”
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lanabuckybarnes · 10 months ago
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Brain rot, Brain rot.
18+ Minors DNI
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(I do not own any photos used, credits go to the original owners)
A little piece I’ve created about my favourite roles that Seb has played (the ones I’ve watched so far) because Mr Lee Bodecker and Nick have got me in a literal chokehold.
( I know about their red flags but girlies im colourblind).
Just wanted to try something a little different, Warnings are under the cut.
Pairing: Lee Bodecker x reader, Nick Fowler x reader, Steve Kemp x reader, Bucky x reader
Warnings: Spoilers for the movies, mention of Cheating (It’s Lee being unfaithful per usual), Dark Lee, Manipulation, Throat fucking, Size kink, Breeding Kink, Mentions of Pregnancy, Daddy Kink, Overstimulation, Teasing, Cock Warming, Pussy Eating, Mentions of Cannibalism, Biting, Dry Humping, Dark Steve I suppose (Steve being Steve), Voyeurism. DO NOT READ IF THESE TRIGGER YOU, if I’ve missed any warnings please let me know.
Whew Lordy.
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Lee bodecker is a filthy man, with 100+ glaring red flags and you still peruse him?! It’s a wonder the townsfolk don’t have you sent to the looney bin. He absolutely loves it when his little mistress (you) wraps herself in his leather coat, just the thought of you wearing it gets him all possessive.
He loves a lady he can manipulate— bend and train to his will. A girl that when he comes stomping into her little cottage she’s there with a steak on the table and her mouth open for him. Not only does a sweet little lady appeal to him because of their naivety but because of just how shy and innocent they really are.
If you in a pretty white frock while he fucks your face is the last thing he sees as he closes his eyes on this world, he’ll die a happy man.
Also size kink demon, loves when his thick hand engulfs your thigh or when you have to go onto your toes to kiss him, loves it when one of his big ole palms can hold your wrists above your head while he pounds away at you. It’s like a ritual now for him to sit his fat length over your pussy just before he plunges in, he loves imagining just how deep he’ll be hitting you when he fucks you.
Talks about getting you pregnant A LOT. You never knew it was a kink till you were talking with some of the older ladies about your ‘mystery man’. When you brought up the fact that he’s constantly moaning about swelling that little belly up, giving you his son, they all confirmed what he was experiencing was a thing most ‘manly men’ felt. They assured you it would be a great honour to have a man’s son but you played with the hem of your dress in guilt and shame, he wasn’t your husband and he thought of you as nothing more than his little side piece to make up for his boring wife.
Please ride this man while wearing his hat, he will not survive.
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Nick Fowler, I don’t really know much about him— I mostly watched clips of him on YouTube but I just imagine him with a phat daddy kink. When you whimper daddy for the first time he just about spurts right then and there.
Loves teasing the shit outta you, how many times have you came on his fingers and tongue? You don’t know but you feel fucked out— you don’t think you could handle another, Nick just scoffs.
“Come on baby another for me” he encourages, his sopping fingers circling your sensitive bud and all you can do is lie back and take it.
When he’s had a real bad day all he wants is for you to get those fucking clothes off and sit on his cock, you don’t have to move he just wants to feel your warmth and how you squeeze against him.
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Now if you think you were insane to go after someone like Lee you must actually be crazy to let Steve near you, even after finding out his little ploy, how you were nothing more than meat to him— you still let him fuck you. This man knows how to eat, he’s down there for every course, slowly spreading your folds with his fingers and liking a strip up from your hole to your clit before diving straight in. He’ll have you loosing your voice over the way you scream when he drags orgasm after orgasm out of your pretty body
Constantly talks about eating your flesh while he kisses you, occasionally biting down nice and hard leaving teeth marks all over the meaty parts of your body. Even before you found out he was a cannibal he’d be biting and licking on you, he called it sampling the meat before he bought in.
Dress up nice and pretty for him, he loves it. He loves nice light colours and lacy material, the way it makes your skin look all flawless and doesn’t clash with the dark marks he’s given you has him hard in his pants quicker than you could imagine. Another man who loves being fully clothed while you’re practically naked. Has cum in his pants an embarrassing amount of times when you’ve straddled him, grinding your lace covered kitty against his bulge.
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Although I write about him all the time I can never fully flesh out one of the fantasy’s I think of him in. This man, although awfully shy about his sex life with others, will and has absolutely ruined you in public places. A restaurant, he’s played with your little clit under the table and fucked you in one of the bathroom stalls, in a car while you, Sam and Steve were going on a road trip. Even once in Tony’s house during a party— Tony had almost caught you two bumping and grinding in his laundry room, the thought of how close you two were to being caught had Bucky biting on your shoulder and coming all up your back quicker than he’d ever done before.
I have no idea where all these come from but I’m loving it.
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monosanimegenericzone · 4 days ago
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Hunter x Hunter: chrollo vs hisoka round 2
ok i need to yap about something
dude hisoka is so fucking smart it actually pisses me off.
now i do like the idea of hisoka. he is a great antihero/villain and has had so much thought put behind his psyche that i put him under the microscope and still dont understand him.
but i came here to talk about the mind games he pulled on chrollo after the heavens arena fight. (shout out to @helenisaweirdo for putting chrollo thoughts in my brain)
so we all yell at chrollo for leaving his crew basically defenseless on the ship while he goes and tries to steal an ugly pot. yes its stupid that he's leaving these very vulnerable members by themselves with a killer clown on the loose. yes its stupid that EVEN AFTER deducing that hisoka is already on tier 1 to leave bonolenov on the upper tier alone. and yes its stupid that way way way back before even getting on the ship he left shal and kortopi alone.
but i raise you the idea
what if chrollo never heard hisoka's declaration.
hisoka told machi that he will kill all of the other spiders on sight. and he never said to chrollo's face that his new goal was to wipe out the troupe.
based on those two very careful choices, hisoka has effectively created an out for himself, because chrollo doesn't know that his troupe is the main target.
and this is coming after some major mind fuckery where chrollo perfectly predicted hisoka beat for beat in the heat of combat and STILL somehow lost.
so EVEN IF machi told chrollo what hisoka told her (i dont think she did, we'll get to that later), he would assume that hisoka's main target is still chrollo and that chrollo just has to get to him first.
[explanation below]
this yap gonna be long. im rolling up my sleeves
ok so let's set the scene. chrollo has just beaten the ever loving shit out of the murder clown, blown off two of his limbs and half of his face. he probably stayed long enough to see the corpse, hear the diagnosis and then he dipped
chrollo outside of missions travels alone. during hisoka's explanation of chrollo back in yorknew we hear "when on the battlefield he'll travel with two or more spiders at a time" (loose paraphrasing) "but after every job, he'll disappear." the heavens arena fight wasn't a job. it was just some petty beef. a loose end chrollo had to tie up before moving on to his next big move (black whale 1). so after the fight, he was supposed to "disappear"
so here comes the speculation: we don't know if its actually possible for users to reclaim powers from skill hunter. chrollo was going to return shal's phone but that's all we hear about 'returning' something. shal even says that he won't need the antenna anymore.
that being said. there was no reason for anyone to want to attack shalnark or kortopi. their faces were wiped from the mafia databases and most, if not all, eye witnesses to any of the troupe's crimes have been killed. there is NO ONE that should be targetting shalnark and kortopi at this point in time. (except kurapika but i think chrollo took preventative measures)
and we know based on the hunter exam, people without nen can be extremely skilled in combat. we can reasonably assume that shalnark is one of them (kortopi is kind of an ehhh?? bcs we have seen zero feats from him that didn't involve his hatsu). so they can handle themselves in terms of mortal combat with normal people.
and here comes an observation that i think gets constantly overlooked (i do it too) in favor of viewing the troupe as a "found family". nobunaga himself said it: they operate exactly like the hei-ly. that means they will usually operate solo within their own set of skills. chrollo gives them a task on a job and they decide individually how they want to handle it.
and up to now, they've never failed. so there is this powerful 12-17 year build up of trust in each other's abilities.
so even though i am mad about chrollo leaving his members alone, i also can't be mad because THERE is my hidden phound family moment.
ok going back to the point
hisoka comes back to life and machi is the only one to witness it. we assume that no one else saw hisoka return from the dead (or at least not anyone significant) since he was listed in the official casualties. he imprisons her and tells her to send a message that she refuses to relay.
he could have killed her. but he doesn't. and i think there is a very good reason
he kills shalnark and kortopi and makes sure that they are easy to find. and of course chrollo finds out. we don't know the details of how it happened but i bet it's something along the lines of "chrollo tries to call shal and he doesn't pick up dun dun dunnn"
now here's where it can go two ways.
machi can either tell chrollo hisoka's threat
or she could keep it to herself.
the story works either way, but it works better if she stays quiet. now why would she stay quiet? because she doesn't want to do anything hisoka says and/or is protecting her dignity. regardless there is a very real chance she just said "hisoka lived" and that was enough to get the message across.
at this point chrollo has only so much evidence to go off of: hisoka killed shalnark and kortopi, but he spared machi.
logically, this is because shalnark and kortopi were a) vulnerable and b) part of chrollo's plan that is THE ONLY thing that has made hisoka struggle in his journey so far. in chrollo's mind, hisoka is seeking ways to strip chrollo of his power to weaken him in their due rematch. he spared machi because he was making a point.
therefore. hisoka will only target chrollo's troupe if chrollo attempts to use them for his own personal gain.
of course we, the readers, know this isn't true. hisoka is going to on sight any troupe member.
but, chrollo thinks that this is a much more focused threat.
he thought he knew how hisoka worked. when he was betrayed in yorknew he learned that hisoka never wanted to be part of the troupe and was only using the position as a way to get close to chrollo. he learned about hisoka's powers through studying heavens arena fights and most likely spent a lot of time listening to hisoka's reports on the troupe and the exorcist during greed island.
so, reasonably, he HAS to know hisoka's pre-death mantra: hisoka wants to find ideal fight partners to "love to death." he'll ignore everyone and anyone else until he gets who he wants. so when he dodges death, chrollo realizes that he is such a horn dog for battle that he will literally use every technique in the nen book to win.
ive heard the argument that chrollo put the idea of post mortem nen into hisoka's head which caused him to create the resuscitation move. but i dont think that's true because hisoka has never been pushed to the brink of death like this. he's of course aware of post-mortem nen because we see him get tight when chrollo talks about sun and moon, so this was always going to be his endgame if the situation ever called for it.
minor point
ANYWAY.
MY ENTIRE POINT IS
hisoka has successfully convinced chrollo that chrollo is his primary target.
which is probably why he had the troupe split up in the first place. on jobs he would usually travel with 2 or more troupe members, as stated above, but this time he WILLINGLY goes alone. shizuku and bonolenov followed him of their own free will.
he probably sent them off SO HE CAN DIE ALONE.
SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A HUG AND SOME HEAD PATS S T A T.
fr tho he probably sent them off because he doesn't want them becoming collateral in a brawl with hisoka where he assumes hisoka will predict that he stole their abilities.
chrollo is so bent on this idea that he is changing the entire flow of the troupe, putting both himself and the rest of the troupe at an even greater risk. he would be much safer being with two other troupe members like he would usually do things. BUT NOOOOOOO he is changing his entire flow to throw hisoka off the scent and buy himself time.
like it is crazy. i dont know how much sense this makes but i am. losing my fucking mind.
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