#this is the only cephalopod of this month so far!!

[makofinz]

firefly squid!! like me!!! like meee!!! ^_^ im a firefly squid if u didnt know…. ik for a fact the tentacle # is wrong but some r like behind it or something u need to trust

[circusmania]

Can i request some fluff with platonic yandere SCP 2662 who see reader who is also immortal but doesn't really know about it that is uneffected by SCP 2662 anomalous effect as a friends?

Both of them playing animal crossing

(Platonic) Yandere!SCP-2662 x GN!Reader ──────────────────────── Notes: Tysm for requesting this. I had so much reading about SCP-2662 and writing this request! I hope you enjoy ♡. Muah Muah ✮

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SCP-2662, a Keter class anomaly, is a humanoid who's actually (surprisingly) pretty chill. Also known as Cthulhu f'UCK OFF! (we'll just call him Cthulhu here), has a pretty humanoid(ish) appearance, along with fully functional cephalopod limbs attached to his back. He possesses the ability to manipulate and put false information into humans' dreams. Although his "followers" view him as all high and mighty, Cthulhu has no intentions of being their god. Rather, he prefers to sit in his containment cell and go about his day. Be it reading his daily newspaper or playing his many video games.

Tossing the introduction aside, You, an immortal being, had landed in the hands of the SCP Foundation. Be it intentional or not, you're stuck in your cell whether you like it or not. It ain't all that bad though, you're pretty cooperative and kind to those assigned to you, earning you a lot of rewards.

Once the Foundation found out that you're unaffected by various anomalous effects, new doors opened for you. One of those doors was he, himself, Cthulhu. A kind but massive beast, you two hit it off well.

At first, Cthulhu had thought you were another of his "devoted" followers.

You found him sitting at his table, a newspaper in hand and a coffee in the other.

"Oh, Saint Alagadda... what show are you going to put on now!? Hello?! Task Force!! Another one got in!!"

You stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Excuse me?"

You cringed, and he stopped yelling once he realized you weren't stripping or yelling insanities.

"You're not going to smear your blood and/or fluids on my walls…?" He asked, warily.

"WHAT!?? No?? What made you think that??"

He narrowed his beady eyes.

"Well, can't rule you out yet... You might just be faking it..."

"Right..."

"Trust issues much…" (He glared at you).

"In the meantime, you can stay...mm... over there." He pointed to the furthest corner from him possible.

You obeyed and sat in the corner, not making your case any better, since obeying him made it look like you were following his commands as your “god”.

Whenever you were pushed into these experiments, the researchers never gave you any information on the anomaly. Normally you don't care, but you would've appreciated some info on this one. By far, this one has made it to the top of your list of "Top Ten Weirdest first impressions."

You remained in the corner for hours a day to maximize as much exposure as possible (occasionally you got breaks and check-ups from the personnel). At the 2-month mark, Cthulhu had become pretty fond of you. He was very relieved that you showed no signs of wanting to perform rituals for him.

He allowed you to join him at his table and provided you with your very own cup of coffee! (If coffee isn't up to your taste, he's more than happy to supply you with anything else. Well, anything that the Foundation will allow).

Your relationship with Cthulhu got stronger as he invited you to join him in his many video games. Be it horror, indie, action, survival, or RPG, he's happy to be able to play with someone who views him only as a friend.

"You know, I'm happy you're different. It's nice that I can finally interact with someone without them flashing their cloaca at me."

"... Do I even want to know?"

As time passed, you two got to know more and more about each other. It took Cthulhu some time to open up after the "Massy's Big Chance" incident. You found out that Cthulhu had run away from home when his dad wouldn't stop projecting his sex cult on him. Yikes. You comforted him the best you could.

However, when he really started to like you (platonically) was the time when his worshippers broke into his cell again, and he found out that you weren't just a regular human.

This time, he was in the shower, and you were the unfortunate one to fall victim.

Cue in 3 naked, sex-crazed humans.

"What the actual fuck... How did you three get in here??" You had a newspaper in your hands and were sitting at his place at the table.

They spared you no less than a glance and made their way toward the bathroom.

"Uh, the hell? You can't go in th-"

You made the mistake of grabbing onto one of the humans' arms, and they quickly pulled out a knife and stabbed your arm.

You shrieked, alerting Cthulhu. Although being immortal, you could still feel pain, and god did this hurt like a bitch.

Cthulhu came rushing out, grabbing his follower's attention.

"Oh, great one! We've come to liberate you!"

He paid no mind to them, his focus was on you and your bleeding arm. Which didn't look well in his follower's eyes.

"Oh, sweet Alagadda! Are you oka-" He started to make his way towards you when one of his followers jumped in front of him.

"But first, we'll start with a sacrifice!"

"This one will do!"

One of the humans grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head back. He raised his knife, and before he could reach your neck, he got sucker punched into a wall by Cthulhu. Really unexpected considering Cthulhu's nature.

He scooped you up in his arms, not letting anyone touch you till the Task Force arrived with medics.

"Don't worry... I just so happen to be immortal…" Your voice strained and weak as you tried not to pass out from the blood loss.

"WHAT??"

You ended up fainting anyways.

Fast-forward...

"Never thought you could actually hit someone."

You sat on the floor, leaning against Cthulhu's shoulder. Your arm was tightly bandaged, despite your protests.

He sighed. "Neither did I... Must've been the adrenaline."

Cthulhu was still annoyed that you hadn't told him earlier about your immortality.

"To be fair, you never asked."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm just glad you're safe."

He smiled in his own unique way and you returned the gesture. You two spent the afternoon playing Animal Crossing together and blabbering about anything that crossed your minds.

That day, Cthulhu promised himself to protect you at all costs. Perhaps, one day, when he's "older" you two will live together in a house. Playing all the video games possible and away from anyone that could tear you two apart. ──────────────────────── Cites: “SCP-2662 - SCP Foundation.” The SCP Foundation, 15 March 2023, https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2662. (Official info on SCP-2662)

“SCP-2662 | Heroes Wiki | Fandom.” Heroes Wiki, https://hero.fandom.com/wiki/SCP-2662. (Additional info on SCP-2662)

Bierman, Ed. “Skeeve Online - SCP Foundation.” The SCP Foundation, 15 December 2022, https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/skeeve-online. (Massy's Big Chance incident)

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[fishenjoyer1]

Fish of the Day

Today's fish of the day is the Southern blue ring octopus!

The Southern blue ring octopus, also known by scientific name Hapalochlaena maculosa, is well known for how venomous they are, and the vivid colorations that warn of it! The Southern blue ring octopus is one of the four species of blue ring octopi on this earth, the Southern blue ring octopus in particular is the only lesser blue ring octopi, as opposed to the other greater octopi, which are smaller in size but have far larger blue rings when threatened. Despite the differences between the Southern blue ring and the other, greater blue ring, they all live in the same general area. With the entirety of their genus spread out across the Eastern Pacific and Indian oceans, the Southern blue ring is no different, living along the Southern coast of Australia. In this environment, the octopus lives and hides within the crevasses and cracks of the rocky Australian reef.

Camouflage is very important to blue ring octopi, and this is the same thing that allows them the bright colors to warn off predators. Like many other species of cephalopods, blue ring octopi take advantage of dermal chromatophore cells, which respond to stimuli to create different colors on the skin of the animal. When threatened, the octopus will make an average of 60 bright blue rings across its form, taking as little of a third of a second. This is done by the relaxing and tensing of muscles around the shape of the ring. In greater blue ring octopi this muscle contraction also has layers of iridophores light reflectors, allowing for the blue marks to be projected further in the water. These are the only warning of the great venom these animals contain, tetrodotoxin, a neurotoxin which binds to voltage-gated sodium channels, preventing action signals from the brain to be transmitted to the body. This is because the body uses many cells which contain a certain voltage to them, and when sodium enters the cell in large amounts (as happens anytime you voluntarily move) when the voltage in the cell rises to the correct level, it triggers for the sodium channels to open in the cell next to it. This is how signals travel in the body, and how tetrodotoxin paralyzes by binding the chanels. We still don't fully understand how the poisoning works fully, as this toxin is stored in a small salivary gland in the octopus and is present in the bloodstream, this is either injected into the water or transmitted via bite. At this time there is no antivenom, but it is relatively easy to not be injured by this squid! So long as you leave them alone, they do not attack!

With all the coolest features of this animal covered, let's discuss the more mundane things. The diet of the Southern blue ring is made up of various curseceans and small fish, many of which they can hunt when the greater blue ring can not. This is because the Southern blue ring is the largest blue ring, with a whopping size of 5cm long mantle and 20cm arm-arm, a full 5-10cm larger than all other blue rings! Hunting is done by releasing the venom as a mist into the water, paralyzing prey before eating it. Their lifespan is incredibly short, lasting only 7 months on average, and mating only once in their lifetimes. The first 6 weeks of their lives will be spent growing rapidly, already nekton, as unlike most invertebrates blue rings have no planktonic stage. After these 6 weeks the blue rings can begin appearing when threatened, but the venomous trait is there from birth even without the rings presence. Mating will begin sometime with 3-5 months, and females will collect and store sperm from several partners, later choosing which male she will fertilize her eggs with. Then, there is a two month long period where she carries the eggs with her constantly, spending most of her time hiding, and moving only with 2 tentacles across the sea bed. Once these eggs hatch, the mother will pass away, leaving only her children behind to begin the cycle anew.

That's the Southern blue ring octopus, everybody! Have a wonderful day!

[rassicas]

We are getting playable Cuttlefish in Splatoon 3.

i dont like saying im totally certain about predictions, but the evidence is so subtle, yet so very intentional in the exact way that the splatoon team would do if they were trying to hint at something. (under the cut because long post)

I’m sure some of you have seen PandaUniverse’s tweet introducing the cuttlefish evidence. first two images are from that tweet, putting it out there that i cant take credit for those.

exhibit A: train station gates

the splatoon team foreshadowed OE before release with a blocked off train station in inkopolis square....this seems even more obvious? no entry for squids, mysterious 2 finned squid thing can enter? exhibit B: weird hat

again, two finned squid thingy like in the ticket gates. i saw some ppl saying “its just a weird octopus” but like. why would the splatoon team purposely model an octopus hat super weirdly? also @sprousprou​ sent me a better image:

that is not an octopus lol After i saw the tweet, i remembered a thing that me and my friend dodo were scratching our heads at a few months ago while we were reconning all the s3 stages for details, because... Exhibit C: that’s a fucking cuttlefish

again, 2 fins. found in Mincemeat Metalworks, it’s in the same style as the Angry Squid and Angry Octopus graffiti that’s been seen before.

So how do I feel about this? well... not even a month ago i thought it would be weird to expect a new playable species, but the evidence feels so undeniable now. but i also mentioned in that ask, cuttlefish are pretty much the only species that would make sense with current lore. being ink-producing cephalopods in real life, unlike nautiluses or dumbo octopuses, i would expect cuttlefish to be ink-based shapeshifters like the inklings and octolings. and we have seen cuttlefish in splatoon’s canon before... albeit only once in the japan-only octo expansion artbook....and they look a lot like inklings. However i find it a bit... weird... that they’d be introduced like this with next to zero build up, unlike the playable octolings which were hinted at from the first game. i’m also deeply concerned about the idea of this truly becoming a pattern, like the splatoon team potentially introducing a new species in each DLC, leaning on "play as this New Guy” as the main selling point and not “play this cool story.” I also would prefer if they just expanded on customization for octolings and inklings and not added a new species. but i guess it’s splatoon 3, gotta have 3 species too. and ill take it any day over salmonlings also in the aforementioned ask, the only justification i could think of for a sudden introduction of cuttlefish would be that they happen to live super far away outside of inkadia/splatlands. combine that with the knowledge that the DLC is more than likely going to be a world tour of some kind...well, that’s probably gonna be the reason for their introduction: they just live far away. tl;dr im feeling 100% sure cuttlefish are coming to splatoon whether we like it or not

[tsarisfanfiction]

Shocking

Fandom: Daughter of the Deep Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship Characters: Gemini Twain, Nelinha da Silva Harding-Pencroft made sure their Leyden guns were quick and painless. Land Institute, not so much. Whumptober day 4, shock. I had a lot of fun writing this. Still getting used to the characters for this fandom, but enjoying figuring them out, one fic at a time.

Land Institute didn’t give up.

They'd known, when they let Caleb South and the others leave on the Varuna, that it wouldn't be the last time LI came after them, but they hadn't had a choice. The other option had been to kill them all, and as Ana had said, Harding-Pencroft was better than that.

They were, and Gem hadn't been fond of the idea of killing them all, either, so he was glad that when faced with the choice, Ana had chosen to let them go instead.

That didn’t make the relentless pursuit any more enjoyable, though.

With the destruction of the Aronnax, LI had lost any ability to match the Nautilus in the seas.  For all that she was old, and her back-up engine was run on coal of all things, she was also an absolute marvel of engineering that had the Cephalopods still in complete awe even months after first boarding her.  Gem, Ana, and the rest of them were well aware that LI still had the plans for the Aronnax, and that one day LI would build a new version that likely wouldn’t succumb to Romeo so easily, but until the other submarine appeared, they were safe in the water.

On land, not so much.

The Nautilus could do many, many things that completely boggled Gem’s understanding of technology and had yet to be explained by their resident Cephalopods, but she could not magic supplies out of nowhere.  Lincoln Base made up for most of the deficit, but sometimes, they had to make a run to occupied land in order to retrieve a few extra necessities that Nemo hadn’t developed alternatives for, likely because he’d never felt a need for them in his lifetime.

Land trips, when they happened, were always meticulously planned.  Gem took point on the logistics, and always made sure most of the party were fully-armed Sharks, just in case LI made an appearance, but sometimes there were things on the shopping list that Sharks wouldn’t be able to identify.

Or more specifically, that Nelinha and her fellow Cephalopods didn’t trust them to identify.

Gem didn’t know if he and Nelinha would ever be friends.  He had a lot of respect for the Brazilian girl, and a lot of remorse for his part in tarring her with the Scholarship Kid brush back at HP, and if she was open to the idea of friendship, he would gladly take it.  So far, however, their relationship was one of mutual understanding – both of them had claim to Ana as a friend (although Gem knew, understood and accepted that the Indian girl would always pick Nelinha first, if she ever had to make a choice), and had reached a point of compromise that occasionally bordered on camaraderie.

He enjoyed their banter, when Nelinha wasn’t buried in the inner workings of the Nautilus, and he hoped that she did, too.

While essential, this particular supply trip didn’t need a huge party.  There were only a few, select items on the shopping list, none of which Gem could identify, but all considered of vital and immediate importance by the Cephalopods, who had quickly persuaded Ana and their resident adult supervision (barring Luca, who had been one of said persuading Cephalopods) that the trip was worth the potential exposure to Land Institute.  After much debate, and a few near-arguments before Ana stepped in, it had been decided that just Gem and Nelinha would be enough.  Nelinha, for identification and acquisition of the parts, and Gem as the necessary gunslinging Shark on protection duty just in case.

There had been no sign of Land Institute in the area – Lee-Ann and the rest of the Dolphins, including their captain, had been thorough in their recon.

Gem dearly wanted to know where the Land Institute had been hiding, and how they’d evaded the Dolphins’ searching.

He and Nelinha were cornered, not far from the dock were the Nautilus waited, but with no clear passage back.  In their way, weapons no doubt trained on the exact point they would be forced to emerge through, Gem had counted four people wearing the hostile emblem of LI.

Behind him, clutching her precious purchases with one hand while the other held her Leyden gun at the ready, Nelinha was muttering in Portuguese.  Gem didn’t speak the language, but he suspected he didn’t want to know what she was saying.

He assessed his own arsenal, rather more extensive than Nelinha’s single Leyden gun, but not quite as much as he would’ve liked – even wearing the recognised Shark insignia, there were only so many weapons he could visibly carry in public before people started getting twitchy.  He was limited to his SIG Sauers and their comforting weights on his hips, a single bandolier of flash-bang grenades hidden under a coat, and a Leyden gun.  Nothing fatal – the SIG Sauers were loaded with rubber bullets as always – but enough to give Land Institute students a headache.

Unfortunately, they knew where he and Nelinha had been forced to shelter, and in order to get a lock on a target, Gem would have to step out and make a target of himself, first.

He fingered a flash-bang grenade, lifting it clear of the bandolier but keeping the pin firmly in place as he showed it to Nelinha.  Cover your ears, he mouthed, also miming plugging his ears with his free hand.  She knew what they did – there wasn’t a single piece of Nemo tech that she hadn’t given at least a cursory inspection of over the past few months – but Gem refused to take any chances.

He had to get her safely back to the Nautilus.  Failure was not an option.

Her eyes focused on the grenade and she frowned, but obeyed, holstering her gun so that she had her hands free to plug her ears.  It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would have to be enough.  Gem slipped wax into his own ears, giving them a moment to settle, before tugging out the pin with his teeth and lobbing it out towards where the LI were waiting.

The grenade sailed around the corner and he saw the edge of the flash a second later.  The ground beneath his feet vibrated, suggesting the bang part of flash-bang had activated as it was supposed to, and he ran out of their small area of shelter, firing at the LI students.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Four rubber bullets, four dropped students.  They wouldn’t be out for long, but it would be long enough to get back to the Nautilus.

Gem turned back and gestured for Nelinha to emerge, giving her sharp signals to stay low and move quickly, in case any of them had a particularly thick skull and wouldn’t stay down for long.  She obeyed, and Gem had a brief moment to be thankful for the fact that their relationship had improved to the point where she would listen to him without complaint when they were in a combat situation.  He scanned the downed LI students – none of them familiar, and from their ages likely freshmen – for signs of life as they started to move out cautiously, but none of them appeared to be unusually thick-skulled and showed no signs of stirring.

Neither he nor Nelinha needed any encouragement to be swift as they broke away from cover, though.  Gem still had the wax in his ears, but there was no opportunity to take them out, and as long as all four hostiles stayed down-

Something stabbed him in the shoulder.

He flinched, almost dropping his gun, and spun around to see where his attacker w-

Agony.

Gem had been on the receiving end of a Leyden gun before.  Dr Hewett’s demonstration had been all too brief in his memory, but he still recalled the feeling of his nerves tingling until they set on fire, before darkness had extinguished the flames and he’d woken up a few minutes later feeling absolutely fine.

HP’s Leyden guns were set to incapacitate with the least amount of pain.

LI had no such principles.

Gem felt rather than heard the scream that tore itself from his throat, muffled and tinny through the earplugs but vicious against his vocal cords.  Stars exploded in his vision, linking themselves together with flashes of lightning static.  The charge jetted all through his body, sending his muscles into uncontrollable spasms, and he faintly felt his knees crash into the ground, rapidly followed by his shoulders and then his head.  His pistols slipped from his fingers as his body instinctively curled in on itself, desperately trying to get the pain to stop, but it wasn’t working, wasn’t easing, and the screams still echoed hollowly in his ears.

Then it stopped.

The lightshow behind closed eyelids faded away to nothing, and the hoarse screaming died shortly afterwards.  His muscles still spasmed, but the lightning arcing through them had gone.

Suddenly, the darkness seemed very inviting as it lured him closer, a promise of oblivion and respite from the pain that still danced along all of his nerves.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he heard a whimper.  Fingers pried at his ears and he tried to recoil away, but his body wasn’t responding.  The world made a strange pop as the wax in his ears was plucked out.

“Spidey!”

Nelinha called him that more often than not, and Gem still hadn’t worked out if it was malicious or more banter.  He knew most of the Spider-Man references muttered behind his back before LI had blown up their school had been the former.

“Gem, can you hear me?”  Hands shook his shoulders roughly and he gasped as it made fresh little arcs of electricity run through his body.  “Gem!”

She sounded worried.  Gem took in a deep breath.

“I hear you,” he gasped, choking a little at the pain talking provoked.

“Good,” she replied, and the hands shifted until they were grabbing him by the lapels of his coat.  “We need to get out of here before more show up.  Can you stand?”

Gem’s legs were still twitching as the leftover electricity juddered through them and he doubted they’d take his weight without complaint.  He also knew Nelinha was right and they needed to move.

Hauling himself to his feet was difficult; without Nelinha gripping onto him and all but dragging him upright, he wouldn’t have managed it.  As it was, he was still a juddering, gasping mess of pain when she finally got him to his feet, one arm draped liberally across her shoulders.

Walking was even harder, his feet not wanting to even consider placing one in front of the other, but despite being shorter than him by a not inconsiderable margin, Nelinha was used to hard physical work lugging around heavy pieces of machinery, and to Gem’s relief it translated to being able to drag him along like a semi-sentient sack of potatoes.

“Sorry,” he rasped, as his feet tangled together and almost sent them both sprawling out onto the ground.

“Don’t be,” she replied shortly, staggering but keeping her balance and yanking Gem forwards some more.  “This is Land Institute’s fault, and if you weren’t with me, I would never have got out of there.”  He felt her muscles heave as she pulled his arm further around her shoulders, and dimly noticed that she had her Leyden gun unholstered again.

The lack of continuing hostile fire suddenly made a certain amount of sense.

Gem’s muscles did not recover from their near-constant spasms on the awkward trip back to the Nautilus’ dock, although his vision slowly faded back into focus, if with the addition of white sprites darting across the world.

They didn’t recover as Nelinha all but dragged him back on board their submarine, either, to the concerned chorus of their classmates, and Gem couldn’t protest the stretcher he was bundled onto, especially as his nerves took that moment to almost fully reignite and give an agonising encore of the original attack.

“What happened?” he heard Franklin demand of Nelinha, echoed by Ana across the tannoy system.  The Cephalopod, perhaps predictably, launched into an explanation of how the Leyden-harpoon Gem hadn’t even seen before it hit him appeared to work, complete with estimates on voltage and other hair-raising numbers that made Gem feel lucky to still be alive, let alone conscious.

Semi-conscious, if he was being accurate.

The Orca prefect was clearly not impressed at LI’s new and increasingly aggressive weaponry, and Gem had to agree.

He was pretty sure that at some point between being loaded onto the stretcher and arriving in the Nautilus’ infirmary, he passed out.  His eyes only drifted shut for what felt like a moment, but when they re-opened his muscles felt sore, as though they’d had a solid workout that had gone on far too long, but no longer spasmed uncontrollably, and there was a comforting haze of painkillers lurking at the edge of his awareness – accompanied by the blissful lack of pain.

More bizarre than the seemingly-sudden shift from pain to anaesthetic was the girl sat by his bed.  Despite the similar colouring, it wasn’t the girl that Gem might have thought would drop by, Ana taking her role of captain seriously when it came to her crew – and also a good enough friend to worry about Gem.

Nelinha was tinkering with something in her hands, because no true Cephalopod sat still and did nothing when there was technology to play with, and the Nautilus would never run dry of interesting technology to play with, but that didn’t make her presence there, at Gem’s bedside, any more understandable.

“Nelinha?” he asked, pushing himself up on his elbows.  His shoulder complained loudly, and a glance showed neat white bandaging around it.  She jumped.

“Spidey!”  She made a few more twists with the unidentifiable mass of metal and solder in her hands.  “You know you’re not supposed to get hit with the pointy things with highly electric currents, yes?”

Gem winced at the reminder.  “It wasn’t my intention,” he defended himself weakly.  The girl huffed.

“I don’t care,” she said.  “Don’t do it again.”  Somehow, she got a piece of wire to materialise out of the little project in her hands, and looped it around itself.  Gem still couldn’t tell what it was, or what it was supposed to turn into once the Cephalopod was done with it.  Nelinha eyed her project critically before standing up.  “That body armour isn’t going to build itself,” she commented, and Gem wondered what body armour? but he didn’t get a chance to ask before the girl was walking away, little gadget in hand, as though she’d simply been waiting for him to wake up before returning to her main project.

Nelinha waiting for him to wake up?  That didn’t seem right, but Gem didn’t have another explanation, and a small flicker of hope made itself known, although he was careful not to let it run too rampant, in case he was wrong.

But maybe one day they could be friends, after all.

[broomsticks]

fic rec list: 15 het Remus rare ships

aka not remadora, not gay remus, but a secret third (fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh) option

okay so i totally played myself here: this started out as a cracky spite reclist, but i should have known better… i may now have fifteen new ships.

seriously, they’re legitimately good. SO many good reads.

the list: remus/hermione, remus/lily, remus/minerva, remus/trelawney, remus/poppy, remus/petunia, remus/narcissa, remus/bellatrix, remus/fleur, remus/pansy, remus/cho, remus/luna, remus/ginny, remus/lavender, remus/andromeda.

bonus: several remus HP poly ships, and several excellent buffy the vampire slayer crossovers: remus/jenny calendar and remus/faith lehane.

---

1. remus/hermione

look. i don’t just have a fic rec for this. i have a rec for a ship manifesto (original link | wayback machine) and rec list (LJ comm het-reccers | wayback machine)

Because of the slim canon interaction and the many obstacles to writing the pairing, it’s often done badly. But I think when it’s done well, it’s done very well; a writer who can keep the two characters true to the Remus and Hermione that we know and still write a convincing relationship between them tends to be a good writer. Consequently, there are some real gems among the fandom. In conclusion, yes, this is difficult to write and indeed to get your head around. But done well, it can be challenging, thought-provoking, fluffy, angsty, dark and hot. Often all at the same time. And in a fandom that ships cephalopods, this can only be a good thing.

first entry on that reclist is a ~10k E-rated fic titled after a shakespeare sonnet, and the rec begins:

This is by far my favorite fic in any fandom or ship. It's a beautiful story that depicts how these two characters slowly weave into each other.

the second entry has implied past wolfstar, and there’s fic by both setissma and musesfool on the list.

2. remus/lily

holy fuck this ship blindsided me with the angst and tragedy!! mwpp era writers, why are you Like This.

The Day After by violet_quill (1k, E). canon compliant, november the first, 1981, adultery. the repeating motif of street trash hurts me.

He doesn't think about how he doesn't like coffins anymore than he likes bars; he doesn't wonder who has the worse fate. He tries not to remember that he will be the only one left to put flowers on the graves. He doesn't think about James either.

bonus shoutouts to:

No Harm, But No Certain Good by victoria_p (musesfool) (1k, M), hogwarts era secret relationship, uhea as fuck

The Bowl Of Lilacs by copperbadge (12k, M), first war to eventual remus raises harry au, more plotty/remus-centric than shippy, but the remus/lily is both on page and significant

3. remus/minerva mcgonagall

two excellent poa fics:

The Ten Month Career of Professor R. J. Lupin by pauraque (3k, T):

He raised his hand to knock, but stopped halfway, caught in the shadow of decision. All during the long, hazy summer he'd thought of this, of what he should say, of how he should act.

god, i love this remus. the reminerva and sevinerva (yes, i did just invent these) love triangle is so beautifully woven!

A Year In The Life by copperbadge (41k, T): what a love affair! loved exploring a faculty romance through the eyes of these two, and the ending was so painfully drawn out! the Rent lyrics!!!

4. remus/sybil trelawney

two more POA with perfectly characterized dramatic trelawney, who Sees and is completely, hilariously wrong with her interpretation -- i adore this trope sm.

The Baby in the Pumpkin Patch & Other Stories by @evesaintyves: Chapter 3: The Seer, the Bell Jar, and the Packet of Crisps (~2k, G)

Black With a Tail by @paulamcg (500, G)

5. remus/poppy pomfrey

Take Care of Yourself by @patriceavril (8k, M), a lost years/pre-POA remus/poppy. so soft and tender, the little peter HC and the briefcase HC :') never gets old!

6. remus/petunia

A Different Fate by lordhellebore (6.5k, T): remus and petunia raise dudley and a disabled harry au, in 65 x 100-word drabbles. fluffy, angsty, a surprisingly wholesome take on this pairing!

7. remus/narcissa

Disparities by @puuvillaa (2.5k, M). first war fic, yummy hatesex, who is using who?

Fallen Stars by @siriusly-sapphic (4k, T): hogwarts-era alternative sorting slytherin remus au is such a good setup for this pairing!

8. remus/bellatrix

lots of intriguing takes on this pairing!

Bellatricked by Ellen Smithee (ellensmithee) (800, E): dark remus lupin, er, snuff.

What the Moon Revealed by Maria_de_Salinas (2k, E): can’t go wrong with a good first war hatesex!

Before the Veil by Donna_Immaculata (4k, E): more snuff fic hahaha. implied wolfstar, established snupin

worth mentioning that this pairing is not ALL snuff fic -- there’s a surprising amount of soft!bellatrix -- but tbh i liked these better.

9. remus/fleur

before marrying bill, fleur wants to make sure she is… Riding The Real Thing by snapealina (2k, E).

there’s also an interesting muggle art camp counselor/camper au (5k, M)!

10. remus/pansy

Pruddy's Inn by littlealex (2k, E): post-canon au, ahhh gorgeous '00s era fic.

Pansy's legs disentangle themselves from around Remus' shoulder and arm, and Remus collapses on top of her, unable to support his own weight. She sighs contentedly and threads her fingers through his hair, her eyes still shut firmly against reality. What good is reality, she muses, if I can just pretend to get what I want?

11. remus/cho

The Heart by bloodsugarlove (7k, T). teacher/student told from teacher pov is always fascinating and the prose in this one is unique and lovely! note: doesn’t warrant the underage warning, no whiff of underage sex anywhere.

It's something of a scandal that Cho is seeker for Ravenclaw; many girls appear threatened by this, though they can't deny that is is rather decent at the position. Boys think it is fascinating, and Chang herself is arrogant in the most charming way. Not that Mr. Lupin really thinks so, mind you; it's a collective opinion, and anyway he has had quite his fill of arrogance. He has had quite his fill of a lot of things. He would really rather think of something else.

12. remus/luna

Stubby Boardman and the Cacao Bean by kestrelsan (2k, G), a remix fic!!! loved the original drabble and it was so cool to see it expanded into this oneshot.

honestly this is a real quality ship! in addition to all the delicious smutty kink fic that’s all over the ship tag, there’s also:

this postwar perfection -- he was learning what was real: like Heliopaths and Snorcacks and love! -- Bearing Fruit by @paulamcg (2k, M),

this creaturehunting mission fic, with multiple pieces of fanart, created for @hpdrizzle fest 2017: The Naturists by hikorichan (9k, T)

and this lovely post-canon get-together -- Anytime by @nanneramma (1k, T) -- the seasonal pacing works so well for this nature-connected pairing!

13. remus/ginny

The Meaning of Restraint by Darsynia (4k, M): caught in a club and i’m not even underage! stellar vibes and dynamic here.

open my heart (let it bleed onto yours) by @lunapwrites (~20k (wip), E) -- a fascinatingly, wonderfully explored postwar marriage law au!

14. remus/lavender

Big Teeth/Little Red by PacificRimbaud (5k, M): oh my god this was utterly delightful. it’s a library meet-cute and a halloween party and the age differences, hahaha. a ton of age gap pairings here -- harry/pansy is the only one that is not, iirc.

While he tugs at the cap, he wonders at the audacity of living one’s life as Sirius Black. What must it be like: to understand the line between being a man who has bad ideas, and being a bad man? To gleefully ride along the edge of it, to toss away all but your own discernment, to simply do what you would like to do so long as no one’s being harmed, to not worry about what your desires say about you, to call your godson’s half-dressed former girlfriend a bad idea to her waggishly smiling face at your kitchen table and to let yourself bask in the fallout, sated like a wolf that's helped itself to a lamb. A— …big bad wolf…

15. remus/andromeda

Shelter at Your Door by starfishstar (13k, T): an andromeda doesn’t elope, marries and later leaves lucius au. the r/a relationship in this au is so well-written, their compatibility is so lovely, and although tonks is never born in this au, the r/t echoes are deliciously haunting!

"So," she said softly, pressing down against him, and Remus, following instinct at last, arched to meet her. "Are we doing this?" "Yes," Remus agreed, a whisper in her ear. "We're doing this." Careful not to sound judgemental about it, Andromeda asked, "Have you done this before?" With Remus and his insistence that everything about himself was dangerous and not to be allowed, it was difficult to know. He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Yeah. Couple of times." "Oh?" she teased, still gentle. "What happened to being too dangerous for anything beyond friendship?" Remus' mouth made a wry twist. "It found itself on a collision course with being nineteen years old and horny, that's what happened to it."

---

a bonus: if anyone's taking notes, i couldn’t find fic for:

remus/olympe maxime,

remus/myrtle warren,

remus/the grey lady

remus/parvati or remus/padma patil,

remus/rita skeeter in english,

remus/angelina aside from the remus x gryffindor chaser sandwich,

remus/millicent bulstrode that was not a crossover,

remus/rose weasley or remus/victoire (there's a bunch of remus/lily luna all written by one author)

not to mention literally any creaturefic at all -- remus/basilisk? remus/nagini? remus/mrs norris? remus/hedwig? y’all, i’m disappointed. there was one remus/crookshanks [chapter 21].

---

bonus recs:

remus/hermione/ginny/luna, a nice lovely fluffy fun (E-rated) romp

remus/pomona/hagrid: "You see, I was thinking if you fucked this plant in werewolf form, we could get a beautiful crossbreed for dear Ru's birthday next month."

bonus bonus recs:

+1. remus/jenny calendar from buffy the vampire slayer

Weighed Down With Good Intentions by Thistlerose (8k, M):

"And your friends? Come on, Remus. You had to have had some. Outgoing, personable guy like you." Her tone was light, the kiss she pressed against the corner of his mouth playful. "They're dead too," he said, his smile fading. "All of them. There were never many," he added when she looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "Three. Four. One turned out not to be a friend after all." "And he – or she – " "He." "Is he dead too?" "Prison," Remus said. He closed his eyes and saw Sirius's face instead of Jenny's. Rough black hair, storm-colored eyes, lightning smile. Grease under fingernails. How many different kinds of lightning had he discovered that summer?

jfc this is GENIUS. the references to both BTVS and HP, the intertwining of both stories — it’s canon compliant to both, afaik, except for the bit where remus survives the second war to have that very last conversation — and holy shit that very last cameo!!!

+2. remus/faith lehane from btvs/ats

The Intent To Be Lost by voleuse (1.5k, T), post-Chosen, an encounter with a stranger.

"You could meet me again." She raises her eyebrows, leers a little. He rises from the floor, his body casting a lean shadow on the carpet. "Perhaps," he murmurs, idly running his fingers around his wrist. Faith shrugs again, but pauses before she exits. "You should," she hesitates. "You should be careful out there. At night." He's strong, but she's not sure if he's that strong, and he's starting to look a little pale. "It can get rough after dark." "Indeed," Remus says, but he smiles almost politely. "See you," Faith replies, and she tries to shut the door quietly behind her.

impeccable characterization sells a good crossover every damn time.

[splatoonpolls]

SPLATOON OC TOURNEY ROUND 2 BATTLE 10

Keen Eye For All That Glitters, Hand of the Storm Surge (or Surge for short) by Shadowlugia711 @shadowlugia711 vs Coralie “Coral” Gill by @salt-pile

PROPAGANDA/BACKSTORY

surge

A Salmonid Snatcher, who is notorious for bringing back many eggs safely from battle. It is also an avid collector and horder of shiny objects, filling it's home with all sorts of trinkets. Some are "borrowed," others stolen, and still more bartered for.

This is Surge! (Full Salmonid name - "Keen Eye For All That Glitters, Hand of the Storm Surge") It is a Snatcher known for being great at retrieving Golden Eggs, but it has a penchant for taking just about anything shiny. Its home is filled with all sorts of trinkets and scraps, collected from all sorts of places including Runs, scrapheaps, and just about anywhere where stuff isn't nailed down. Surge isn't just a kleptomaniac though, and enjoys art. The various sheets of metal its obtained are etched with designs it carved itself. Driftwood is similarly whittled into small statuettes. The Horroboros tattoo circling its arm and shoulder was done by another Salmonid, but Surge drew up the design itself. If you like little guys with a penchant for mischief and that make art out of abandoned bits and bobs, you should vote for Surge!

coral

Grew up in a small harbor town roughly an hour south of Inkopolis with her mom (a historian/archaeologist who commutes to Inkopolis twice a month for her job), her dad (a salvager), and her younger sister (who I will be getting to in a different submission). When she moved to Inkopolis, she was too shy to directly interact with most people and too engulfed in her studies to listen any music besides Wet Floor. Once she joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon, however, Marie encouraged her to be more open to other people (and introduced her to other music artists, so that Coral wasn’t stuck listening to the same 3 songs over and over). After saving the Great Zapfish and Callie, she was far more bubbly and even offered up the idea of having Agent 8 live with her once Cap’n Cuttlefish, Agent 3, and Agent 8 returned from their mission in the Deepsea Metro. As what she’s doing in the events of Splatoon 3, she’s attending college in Splatsville to pursue a career in the medical field, working shifts at Grizzco for income (she used to tolerate working there due to the good pay, but she resents it after finding out just how shady her boss really was), and playing Turf Wars with her friends and younger sister when she has free time.

- Arrived to Inkopolis Square as a shy, nerdy, and uncultured cephalopod. - Approached Marie to ask her if she was lost, ended up lured into Octo Canyon to retrieve the Great Zapfish (and also Callie). - Coral began to come out of her shell a bit more as she completed more missions as Agent 4. - Views Callie and Marie as the older sisters she never had. - Becomes the New Squidbeak Splatoon’s Medic shortly before the events of Splatoon 3. - Is Nixie’s older sister (and is the sister who was convinced to move to Splatsville with her). - Mained the Foil Flingza Roller, the Kensa Splattershot, and the Krak-On Splat Roller. - Other weapons she has used include: the Jet Squelcher, the regular Splat Roller, and the Custom Splattershot Jr. -Goes to college during the events of Splatoon 3 to pursue a career as a physician. - Didn’t mind working for Grizzco until the events of Splatoon 3. Now she only is working there for an income until she is out of college.

[neovenatorgirlteeth]

I posted 19,598 times in 2022

That's 13,345 more posts than 2021!

118 posts created (1%)

19,480 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@strawberry-crocodile

@catwaifuwu

@goldenvicious

@emotionalmilkshake

I tagged 1,672 of my posts in 2022

#ingo and emmet - 43 posts

#anthem posts - 30 posts

#morbposting - 26 posts

#walking with dinosaurs - 24 posts

#chased by dinosaurs liveblogging - 23 posts

#jerma moment - 23 posts

#submas - 21 posts

#dinovember - 13 posts

#transfem hunter - 12 posts

#dinovember 2022 - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#his name is asac shrader (its hank) aaaasac shraaadeeer (his name is hank) aaaasac shraaadeeer (its time for you to leave me) fuck yourself

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I can assure you this Edaphosaurus that I drew in the corner of my notebook is going to be 10 times better than anything I’ll do for Dinovember next month (ft. Pterygotus)

Also this is the first time I’ve posted art to tumblr for a while; as I’ve said, I’m going to be doing Dinovember next month so you’ll probably see more of my silly doodles in the future. Stay tuned!!

19 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#4

DINOVEMBER DAY 1: 520MYA, STAGE 3 OF THE CAMBRIAN; YUNNAN, CHINA

It is the Cambrian period, and the warm sunlit seas of Southern China are home to a vibrant sponge-reef brimming with life. The creatures of the Cambrian are strange to us in the Holocene, as this period of time is a time of great experimentation in bodyplans thanks to the evolution of a very special type of organ: eyes. Predators can now see their prey, and vice versa, so the pace of life has sped up considerably, and everyone has had to adapt. Many organisms now have hard shells, spiny defences, or increased mobility to protect themselves from these new sighted predators.

One such predator is this Lyrarapax, cruising through a small group of Haikouichthys. You might be more familiar with her Canadian cousin Anomalocaris. At around half a metre long, Lyrarapax is one of the top predators of the Chengjiang biota; her strange arm like protrusion are derived from the filter feeding appendages of her ancestors, and she uses them to grab prey such as trilobites and pass them to the crushing wheel-like mouth on the underside of her head.

Arthropods like her dominate the Cambrian seas, and along with cephalopod molluscs, will rule the Ordovician as well. Primitive chordates like Haikouichthys will remain in their shadow… for now.

21 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

#3

Hawks can commit arson

23 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#2

OH MY GOD GUYS????? NEW PREHISTORIC DOCUMENTARY FEATURING NIGEL MARVEN????

Seriously though, Agate looks to be an amazing project, with three 15 minute episodes taking us on a tour of Miocene Nebraska. It’s a crowdfunded project, so if you can spare the change, go and check out their kickstarter!

35 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This person is trying to publish their paper on Daspletosaurini! I'm helping the only way I know how to.

41 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yayforocs]

sorry i dont have a particular question but is it ok to ask abt code: click (the splatoon ocs) and what the characters are about? I saw bennet a while ago and thought he was pretty neat but figured id ask abt the team itself

yES IT IS ABSOLUTELY OK \o7o/

yEAH OK SO!!! so!!!! so bennet was an oc originally made for a big group rp run in a splatoon rp discord i'm in; it was in a similar vein to octo expansion except it was like a whole group of cephalopods were abducted to do group testing and instead of kamabo co it was nabemo co! they all woke up without any memories and, in octo expansion fashion, would have to progress through various tests to earn their memories back :V it was a very interesting rp and you can actually read it here! or at least you can read as far as we made it before replies started spacing out too much that we just couldn't keep the rp going ^^;

i didn't actually have his team designed when i originally made him, just knew that he had one

wasn't til a few months later when the rp started to wind down (i think it was around then anyway?) that i began coming up with other team members. nyla was the first, because i wanted a white-inked 'hacker' character! not only a hacker, but also a very big risk-taker, or at least usually. she's got octo armor that she definitely stole from the canyon, but now that her team captain has been kidnapped, she's kinda freaked out about taking risks again- til bennet assures her that whoever kidnapped him and whatever situation that was (he's yet to elaborate on it to anyone) was taken care of and nobody needs to worry about it happening again. she's very self-confident and loves seeing how much she can bend rules before they break, and is a tad of an adrenaline junkie. she's been on bennet's team since day one.

i don't honestly remember if anything in particular led to me making theodore and tobias; it was honestly likely just me throwing together outfits and seeing what looked nice and also if they happened to work with a weapon lksdgjs bUT

theodore is a very quiet inkling that can tend to let himself be a bit of a doormat ^^; he's workin on it tho! with nyla especially, who's not afraid to mince words when letting him know that hey, you need to stand up for yourself more. he's fairly self-conscious and people-pleasing and often puts himself down without even meaning to. i didn't get to develop him in the splatoon 2 rp arc as much as i wanted to, so he's gonna get his development in 3 \o/

speaking of characters who didn't get their development i wanted, tobias! he's. depressed. he and his siblings moved up to the surface a little while ago (they're octolings), and he just didn't deal with the change very well. everything was way too different, and yeah he had his siblings, but his sister was always out and about exploring the place and his brother was too phlegmatic to really get him out of his shell much. he tried, to his credit, and he ended up actually helping by getting him to sign up for a team, which turned out to be code:click! tobias is the newest addition to the team, and while he's very good, he's yet to really open up to his team and actually let himself enjoy what he does. he kinda feels like it all might change again soon anyway, so why bother getting attached? give him some time, he'll settle in eventually and learn that it's ok to grieve the loss of where you came from, but you can't let it affect new opportunities to live your life in an enjoyable way and that it's ok to let yourself enjoy new things, even if they don't last a while. so he's kinda like. dead just a little bit and going with the flow most of the time since he's also quite the phlegmatic :0

there's also a couple other teammates i made as well in the vein of what-gear-and-weapon-combo-looks-nice-and-also-somewhat-works-in-game ocs :y i don't think i've posted any pics of these guys anywhere yet

wade and jerome i don't really have much on yet, but i know wade would get a tad too competitive and his anger at losing battles was getting to a point that the team just wasn't able to deal with it anymore. he caught onto it though, and bowed out gracefully instead of it blowing up into a huge argument. he keeps in touch with the team and is on good terms with them!

jerome is also an adrenaline junkie, but splatsports wasn't filling that spot for him well enough, so he just simply moved on to traveling around and seeing what thrills he could get himself up to.

holly is my tentative new agent 3 actually!!! she was the most recent teammate that left bennet's team because she was originally sent up to the surface on a mission to gather intel and so was integrating herself into inkling society to better fit in. what she didn't count on was actually getting attached to her team, and when she realized she was and could no longer really commit herself to going against them, she ran off after spouting some excuse about moving to do some school studies. her goal changed at that point to go back to the canyon not to rejoin the army, but to try to convince the rest of her octo squad to go up to the surface with her- the squad members that were left, anyway. her squad lead had poofed after the first dj octavio fight (he's a friend's oc named matt), and his right-hand was declared MIA after a mission to investigate an old outpost went awry once the squidbeak splatoon showed up (right-hand is lotus, my agent 8!). anyways she doesn't keep in communication at all with bennet and co, and she currently is unaware if any of her squad is even still in the canyon or not, but she's gonna try her best to 'save' them if she can.

the angle i've for her possibly being new 3 is that the junker vibe fits bc she's trying to find parts to make something to combat hypnoshades, which, while not everyone wears them, she's now paranoid that with three squad members having possibly run away, the rest of her squad might be under suspicion of treason and be given their own pairs. or if she's caught trying to cause soldiers to defect, she might be given her own pair. so she's doing all the planning and building and collecting she can think of to get ready for her own journey down into the canyon.

but the old creep in the sewer muttering something about octolings caught her suspicions and she followed him only to get a title slapped on her she didn't really want and an... actually decent set of armor. maybe she could play along for a bit and use this for her own purposes. well, then dj octavio showed up and. he's missing his soldiers. and now holly doesn't even know if the rest of her squad is ok or not, so now she's determined to find the dj, find out what happened with the soldiers, and find out if the zapfish disappearance is connected to it bc if it is then hey maybe she could help both her old squad and her old team, and that'd be Pretty Darn Neat.

anyways lksgjs this turned into a wAY longer post than i thought it would oops buT YEAH TYSM!!! defo lemme know if u want me to elaborate on anything/anyone 👀 i love bennet's team sm like his and nyla's friendship is something that can and will make me emotional Immediately they're great

[norcalbruja]

On the lines between "people" and "animals," with a tangent on the lines between "superheroes" and "people."

What's up folks, here's my EXTREMELY delayed post about animal-spirits, now that Tony Stark fixed my laptop!

--

Feb 23, 2024

What's up folks, both my eyes still work!

Turns out that minor surgery was VERY minor. It took me like an hour from checking in to scheduling my followup appointment for next month, and generally the only sign I've even gotten laser surgery is that my left eye is kind of red and sore.

The worst part of the laser surgery was how they had to beam a VERY BRIGHT LIGHT into my eye for 10-20 minutes, and it wigged me out so much that the doctor commented on my breathing.

-

Anyway, here is my long-delayed post about how Cernunnos sometimes looks like "a stag walking upright" instead of his more common "human with deer-horns" form.

It's weird when he drops by and visits.

UNCANNY VALLEY AHOY.

I've noticed a theme in my gnosis where sometimes animal-deities/spirits act/look "normal" because... you know, they're ANIMALS. But sometimes they're "part-human" or "trying to be human," and they can't really manage it.

And the ones "in-between" like Cernunnos can REALLY skew things.

I mentioned that the Bruin is a grizzly/brown-bear spirit who just sheds his bear-skin and walks around as a stark-naked human. If he remembers that people get weirded out about nudity, he just wraps his own pelt around his waist and calls it a day. His eyes tend to either stay a bear's (dark brown with no whites around them), or they're technically brown human eyes, but they have No Sapience/Understanding in them. I often see caves and dirt in the Bruin's eyes instead of my reflection.

-

A Fox-Spirit comes around sometimes, and they just look like a damn fox walking upright. Fox looks almost like a cartoon or children's book of "an animal walking and talking like a person," but in (spiritual) real life when you see a fox walking upright, they just look SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL.

Fox just Does Not Act Right in addition to "not physically looking right," and they are firmly on the mad oracle/seer side of the "trickster" scale. They CAN shapeshift into a human form, but they just... DON'T. Partly because they aren't aware enough to do it; Fox doesn't always know what time it is, and they don't seem to know "how far along" I actually am on my spiritual wandering, because sometimes they're confused/upset that I'm still stuck at my mom's place.

Other spirits have mentioned that Fox sees A LOT OF SHIT (the past, the future, and reincarnations or "potential" lives) and that makes them really unpredictable, even though they often call me "little sister" and they seem to care about me as deeply as they can manage.

This one time Fox tried to "help" with my overwhelmed spirituality by shoving a stick in Spirit-Me's ear, which naturally freaked out the OTHER SPIRITS as they restrained the Fox and explained why rupturing someone's (spiritual) eardrum is NOT A GOOD IDEA.

One of my friends commented a while ago that Fox sounds terrifying.

Regarding their pronouns, Fox is gender-fluid and MOSTLY has a male form, but when they first arrived and I called them a "he," they just laughed and went "you think I'm a boy because I turn into one??? Lol nope."

--

Recent stuff, from early March:

This makes me wonder where exactly the Water-Spirit fits in on the "animal or human" scale, now that I know he turns into a giant squid / kraken. His eyes ARE sapient, at least when they look like EYES instead of the ocean abyss. Even if his eyes have squid/octopus pupils, they still have AWARENESS in a way that some animal-spirits don't. Was his ability to "go undercover" as Haik for years a manifestation of his cephalopod camouflage abilities?

He said a lot of times that he had to "learn how to be human," but I just wonder HOW MUCH this dude even needed to learn.

--

And speaking of that "animal to human" sliding scale, my next post will talk about Tony Stark again, and how very LIMINAL he and the other superheroes are.

One day he told me, "Look honey, we're not really 'people' anymore, but we also can't be gods. We are what people WANT TO BE, and that is a very finicky place in the spirit-world."

He just swings so wildly between "I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS, BUT THIS IS A FUCKING SPIRIT. HE IS NOT A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION. HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE THINGS IN THE ETHERS" and "goddamn it, Tony, you are an alcoholic mess."

[cumulations]

Thoughts on Tools, AI and the Realities of Using LangChain

The use of tools, both in the realms of science and philosophy, is often considered a defining characteristic that separates humans (and a select few non-human species) from other life forms.

From a scientific perspective, tool use signifies advanced cognitive abilities, including problem-solving and planning, which are generally associated with higher forms of life such as primates, birds, and cetaceans. These species demonstrate an understanding of cause and effect relationships, a prerequisite for tool use.

For philosophers, tool use is seen as an embodiment of our capacity to manipulate our environment and shape our destiny, a testament to our unique consciousness and self-awareness. It is a manifestation of our ability to conceptualize, innovate, and transcend physical and biological limitations. It thereby distinguishes us from other species.

The discovery of tool use in some non-human species challenges the notion of human exceptionalism, prompting a reevaluation of our understanding of intelligence and consciousness in the animal kingdom. The game gets wilder when the same communities must consider the implications of tools, their development, and use by AIs.

I’m not sure how I missed Toolformer: Language Models can Teach Themselves to Use Tools in February/March, but it’s as good as this kind of research gets. It’s not a ‘how to build your LLM in a weekend’, but rather a serious work that demonstrates the advantages of tools in the next wave of offerings. It is fascinating to think about the adoption of tools as a determinant of LLM advancement. It’s also apparent to me that a good deal of the tool-building being taken on (and likely over-hyped) by the LangChain community has been using this paper as a ‘northstar’.

And, after spending hours in my own (mostly unsuccessful) attempts to use tools like LangFlow and Flowise, all built on the ‘foundational’ tool LangChain, I had to wonder whether my abilities and skillsets left me in the category of ‘beings who aspire to use tools, but can’t quite pull it off.’

I ran into this post, The Problem With LangChain, which I’ll admit is pretty harsh in its treatment of LangChain’s authors and the ecosystem that has quickly formed around it.

LangChain was by-far the popular tool of choice for RAG, so I figured it was the perfect time to learn it. I spent some time reading LangChain’s rather comprehensive documentation to get a better understanding of how to best utilize it: after a week of research, I got nowhere.

…

Eventually I had an existential crisis: am I a worthless machine learning engineer for not being able to figure LangChain out when very many other ML engineers can? We went back to a lower-level ReAct flow, which immediately outperformed my LangChain implementation in conversation quality and accuracy.

In all, I wasted a month learning and testing LangChain, with the big takeway that popular AI apps may not necessarily be worth the hype. …

Max Woolf, the author, goes on in detail that resonates only with those of us who’ve gone through the process of trying to design and prototype intricate LLM-based apps using LangChain and related tech. The examples are instructive, and I’ve now gone through three of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) and am writing this post having reached the ‘depression’ stage. The good news is that I’ve learned a lot, and am feeling better about generating my own collections of code blocks that utilize old school python or javascript without the simplifications and time savings promised by some of the super-tools. I’m hoping soon to pull even with cephalopods on the “tool users” leaderboard.

[ohfugecannada]

Glukkon Biology Headcanons

Hey guys! Sorry if I’m like, a month late on posting these, I’ve been busy with my animation coursework and general life stuff. Thanks for your patience.

Anyway, here’s… the stuff I wrote...

Back when glukkons were a more spiritually oriented society, they used to walk with their actual legs

Being shorter then an average mudokon and with long arms, they had a similar body plan to gibbons and other long-armed apes

After industrialising, thousands of years of relying too heavily on technology and having other races they enslaved do their work for them made the glukkons rapidly evolve to walk on their hands. Leaving their legs to become completely vestigial

Pre-industrial glukkons also had the ability to change their skin colour in a similar manner to octopuses and other cephalopods

They used this ability to express emotion non-verbally (sort of like the mudokons in Abe’s Exoddus) and sometimes for camouflage

Thousands of years of living underground in perpetual darkness, as well as other environmental factors such as thier industrial lifestyle and diet, have caused the colour change trait to become stunted in most of the glukkon population

Some Glukkons also had bioluminescent patterns on their skin that were only visible in darkness. Though, like the colour change, this trait has become stunted in most modern industrialised glukkons. With bioluminescence limited only to the eyes or irises

In one concept piece by Frazard, we can see glukkons have gill-like slits on their lower mouth palette. I imagine this is a leftover from their very early history when they were a more aquatic/amphibious species.

Given how most of the glukkons we’ve seen in the games so far appear to live on land or underground, it’s fair to assume these gill slits are either vestigial structures or have adapted to fit another purpose.

Another trait hinting at glukkons ancient primordial past in the water is their tongues. Which appear to be a remnant of their primordial ancestors tentacle arms, covered in octopus like suckers used for grabbing prey and, in modern glukkons, sensing taste similar to human tastebuds

Speaking of evolutionary throwbacks; the octigi-like, ocean dwelling ancestors of Glukkons were once able to spray an inky substance from glands near their mouths in order to get away from predators. While most modern glukkons have de-evolved this trait, there are some glukkons born with an adivistic condition that makes them puke ink when experiencing moments of extreme anxiety and stress.

Glukkons have always been a mostly carnivorous species. From when they swam the oceans preying on crab and clam-like creatures for food, to when they transitioned to living above water and began to hunt larger land-roaming prey.

In early glukkon civilisation, this came in the form of a Hunter gatherer-esque system where certain glukkons (mainly workers or non-breeding queens) would go out to hunt and bring back meat for their respective tribes.

Tribes that lived near costal regions also still swam and hunted fish.

(These same coastal glukkon tribes also still retained some of their amphibious traits such as being able to breathe underwater with their gills)

Glukkons later tamed herd and flock animals like meeps, only killing certain individuals when meat supplies were running low. All in all, a surprisingly sustainable diet. Until somebody during or after the schism had the bright idea of abandoning spiritual heritage, becoming an industrialist, authoritarian capitalist society, increasing consumption of oddworlds resources and killing more animals on mass then could possibly be needed for survival for the sake of profit. So yeah.

Like how certain humans have different eye or hair colours depending on thier genetics, glukkons eye structures can vary wildly in populations and individuals depending on thier genetics and certain environmental factors. Hence why some glukkons like Molluck and the other pre-soulstorm glukkons have bioluminescent eyes Better suited to subterranean darkness while the new Glukkons we see in soulstorm have eyes like nocturnal predators, with a tapetum lucidum visible in some shots of cutscenes.

And now; eggs!

Glukkon eggs are very soft and squishy, like big water ballons. The shell starts of very thick and rubbery when first laid, but slowly becomes thinner and more delicate until transparent. At which point the eggshell rips from the baby glukkons weight or their struggling in the egg, and the baby glukk slips out

To keep the eggshells from getting damaged or drying up, glukkon eggs are kept in a wet medium such as water, or a thick, watery slime like substance. In some cases, clusters of glukkon eggs are suspended in vertical walls of slime. such as the walls of eggs we see in Lady Margaret’s chambers in some concept art.

The thick, sticky slime also prevents newly hatched baby glukkons from falling to the floor below the egg walls. When a baby glukkon hatches they’re usually left suspended in the wall until someone like their mother, a guardian Angel or servant comes to fish them out and clean them up

Some baby glukkons have the habit of using their hands to touch or grab objects or people. Worker or drone glukkons using their hands for anything other than walking or pushing pedals is heavily frowned upon in glukkon society, and such behaviours are usually “corrected” very early on in worker glukkon’s life

glukkon foetuses have almost completely translucent skin while in the egg. It’s not until they hatch from their egg and take their first few breaths that a baby glukkon’s skin begins to take on colouration. At first through freckle like pigment spots on their face and chest that slowly grow larger and expand to the rest of their bodies

There are several genetic and environmental factors that can determine a glukkon’s skin colour, but generally, most industrial glukkons take on a muted or pale skin tone

When it comes to the glukkons born from Lady Margaret, she ascribes to the belief of “survival of the fittest”. she is incredibly strict with which of her eggs are allowed to hatch. Even going as far as to inspect each one herself. If a glukkon foetus’s physical characteristics don’t measure up to her standards of “perfection”, she crushes the egg and throws it in the garbage. (This headcanon I borrowed from the youtuber Frouch Marx and his lore/speculation video on Lady Margaret, which seems to have unfortunately been taken down along with the other videos on his channel for whatever reason…)

Of corse, being a ruler queen as well as a breeding queen, Margret is likely too busy with other royal duties to practice eugenics on her unborn offspring. So most of the time, she leaves the egg inspections to her personal Guardian Angel unit, who Margret has had programmed to watch over and protect the “perfect” eggs and terminate any “undesirables” while she tends to other business

Due to the fact Lady Margret can be seen smoking, holding a cigarette between her fingers or with tobacco stains on her mouth and fingers in many pieces of concept art, It can be inferred that many of the glukkons we see smoking in the series like Molluck (and other glukkons in the old quintology who may presumably be her children like Dripik, phleg etc), inherited their smoking habit from her

Also, as you can imagine, Margaret’s habit of smoking while pregnant doesn’t exactly have the best effect on her young and their development

It is not uncommon for Margret’s eggs to be laid/hatch prematurely or even for eggs to miscarry or hatchlings to be still born

Even when Margret’s hatchlings do survive to term, often times they are born severely underweight, suffer respiratory problems and a myriad of other health complications in their early lives

Cleft lip is also a common condition in foetuses laid by lady Margaret. Of corse, she makes sure eggs containing such foetuses never have the chance to hatch on her watch

Like mudokon litters, each glukkon litter is nursed by thier mother queen for the first few weeks of thier lives (usually kept in special pouches under her robes), after which time they’re each separated and taken to be raised by a foster parent. For glukkon workers, this is either in the form of one of their much older siblings or cousins acting as their legal guardian or, in rarer cases for a glukkon, a foster slig.

Similar to mudokons and sligs, glukkons are a eusocial race that can be sorted into three main castes: workers, queens and drones

Workers are, so far, the caste we’ve seen the most of in the games. They are the sexless (and, usually, aromantic and asexual) caste that in glukkon society are mainly placed in roles as bosses to lower ranking slave species like Sligs and mudokons. The ones that run the factories

According to some height charts and what can be inferred from their game appearances, an average glukkon worker’s adult height ranges from around 7 to 10 feet tall

Queens, along with drones, are the ones that do all the breeding. Along with laying all the eggs that provide the glukkon population, many queens also hold powerful positions in glukkon society as politicians and rulers similar to royal monarchs of earth nations

Queens are probably the largest of the three glukkon castes. Even before developing into breeding queens, most adult glukkon queens can grow to around 10 or 12 feet tall

There are historical accounts of some breeding queens being even larger then that. With some individuals being described as 50 or even 100 feet tall. It’s not clear if there is any truth in these accounts, or if they were fabricated claims, designed as propaganda by the glukkons writing them to make their respective queens seem more powerful and godlike then they actually were in life…

Glukkon drones are the males. While most of them are born into high society and financial wealth, (and maintain it as such or gain it through marring a queen) its extremely rare for glukkon drones to hold anywhere near as much power or influence in glukkon society as their queen counterparts or even some glukkon workers.

By contrast to queens and workers, I imagine Glukkon drones being pretty short. Especially when compared to queens. Much like the Argonaut octopus, who’s males are 600 times smaller then the females

While the size difference isn’t quite as extreme as that, glukkon drones are still the smallest of the glukkon castes. With the tallest adult drones usually only being about 7 feet tall at most and the average drone being just taller then a regular mudokon worker by a few inches

There also appears to be a form of sexual dimorphism with queens and worker males when it comes to the shape of their heads. With workers (and possibly drones) having pointy, upward facing, ovular shape to the backs of their heads while queens have a flatter, circular shape to theirs.

This possible dimorphism also appears to extend to other members of the octigi family such as the Gloktigi, as seen with Lady Margaret’s personal Gloktigi bodyguards (which would make sense, given how Gloktigi are hybrids of Octigi and Glukkons and would likely carry traits like this from thier glukkon side)

Of corse, much like physical sex characteristics and classification in the real world, such things are never as quite clear cut as this. There are plenty of glukkon queens are same size as a worker or as small as drones, workers who are as short as drones or almost as tall as queens or drones that are as tall as workers.

Head shapes can also very wildly in individuals and say next to nothing about their caste. There are Glukkon workers who have flatter or rounder heads and some queens who have pointier, ovular heads etc

In truth, the constructs of castes in glukkons, even in the physical or biological sense, are far more complicated then the idea of the trinity glukkons have been led by their own society to believe

Much like certain Mudokons, some glukkons aren’t fully fixed to the castes and caste roles that were assigned to them at infancy

For instance, there are workers who are able to develop strong emotional or romantic attraction to someone, queens or drones who were assigned as such at hatching yet feel no sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, queens who were drones or workers at hatching but realised later in their lives this label didn’t reflect who they are, among so, so many others…

Most notably, although it is rare within the glukkon cartels, there are some cases of glukkon workers, in a similar case to certain mudokon workers changing from workers to drones, changing caste from worker to queen

Very little is known by industrial scientists of what causes this metamorphosis, and not much research is dedicated to dormant glukkon queens compared to dormant mudokon drones. As the phenomena is much less frequently occurring (or more accurately, only appears to be)

It’s likely that the strict, antisocial environments and extremely wealth-beaded social hierarchy system that encourages glukkon individuals to act in their own self interest and become more socially isolated are one factor that disrupts whatever biological systems create a self sustaining number of queens

There’s the possibility as well that certain drugs provided to glukkon breeding queens to lesson the pain or exhaustion caused by the egg laying process (among some individual queens other habits and addictions, such as Lady Margaret’s aforementioned smoking problem) have a negative effect on their offspring’s fertility

- Though this varies from cartel to cartel, one other reason for the rarity of dormant queens is them being highly persecuted against by their cartel, due to their respective ruling queens either seeing them as a threat because: A) they believe dormant queens are unneeded competition in thier already competitive struggle for power and inheritance in thier respective royal families, B) some ruling queens believe if any workers were to think they could just abandon their assigned caste roles, it could very well lead to the ruling queens losing the hold they had over the workers that keep them in power, and/or C) some ruling queens see dormant queens as unworthy of being queens, in either the ruling or breeding sense. Believing their status as former workers makes them, and any possible offspring they may have, ““impure””

- As a result of this, some cartels purposefully try to snuff out any dormant queens in their work force. While there are more strict rules about straight up murdering glukkons compared to killing mudokons or Sligs, cartels have other means of suppressing or controlling dormant queens, such as through threat or blackmail, blacklisting, or far worse such as chemical castration or forced sterilisation

Because of this, many dormant queens either remain deeply closeted their entire lives, try in vein to have who they are ““cured””, or, in some tragic cases, take their own lives…

- Of corse, it wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t always the case glukkons were so cruel even to their own queens. There was a time back in glukkon civilisations past where dormant queens aren’t seen as anything unusual, let alone seen as a threat or something to be abhorred. Dormant queens weren’t just accepted, Dormant queens just… were. Some glukkon tribes even hand special cultures coming of age rites and constructed tests for glukkons to transition from worker to Queen properly. Though, much like so, so much of glukkons deep spiritual heritage, these practices of unambiguous acceptance towards dormant queens were purposefully erased by future glukkon historians, and lost to the sands of time…

Now, the best case scenario for a dormant Queen would be escape to and live in the very fringes of industrial civilisation. A bittersweet existence where they could exist as they are and nobody could hurt them… but they’d be completely alone…

…unless, of corse, there’s someone just like them who had the same idea of running off to save themselves.

…maybe they aren’t as alone as either of them thought…

(Sorry if the end but feels a bit sloppy/rushed, I just wanted to get this done already and not keep you guys waiting lol)

@magicalgrimm @boopwyrm

[ribbondee]

"Ink Is Thicker Than Water", a Splatoon AU Oneshot

WARNING: MAJOR OCTO EXPANSION SPOILERS BELOW

One. There was just one left. Heather was sliding along the ride rail, Octo Shot in hand. She raised it, jumped, and fired. Spurts of pink ink came flying out of the gun and... nothing. She had missed, and there was only three seconds left.

Heather could feel her head beginning to spin, and she fell off the ride rail from shock. She had failed.

She fell down, down down down...

"EIGHT!"

Heather awoke with a start. She was in Cuttlefish Cabin, laying inside the hammock. The one who had awoken her was Pearl, gently shaking her awake. "P-pearl?"

"Oh good, you're up. It looked like you were having another bad dream..."

"Thanks Pearl..."

A month. It had been exactly one month, and a long miserable month it was. A month since the disaster, a month since many had succumbed to the goo's green, zombifying depths. Our heroes and some survivors had since taken up shelter at Octo Canyon, and were currently doing their best to warn the rest of the world of what happened.

All because she had missed just one of the bombs. One. That was all it took for the end to happen. Luckily because the statue was already mostly covered so it couldn't achieve a full charge, but that didn't stop it from being able to destroy Inkopolis and almost everyone in it. But if she had just managed to hit that one last bomb, all of this could have been avoided.

That damn phone had managed to take control of the affected areas, mobilizing the sanitized Inklings and Octolings to spread the disaster to rest of the world. Thus began the Great Turf War II. It didn't seem likely that they were going to win, as they were drastically outnumbered.

Black inky tears filled Heather's eyes as she thought about all of this, and she blamed herself for all of it. She buried her face in her hands and whimpered, recieving pats on the back from Pearl. "Hey Eight, it'll be okay... once the rest of the world knows, they'll come to our rescue and make everything right. Come on out and get some breakfast with me and 'Rina!"

"I'm not hungry..."

"Ok. But still, don't go beatin' yourself up. See ya."

Pearl left the cabin, leaving the Octoling alone to her own devices.

Outside she could hear the chatter of everyone else. Some of them were Inklings and Octolings who had survived the onslaught, others were non-cephalopods who were unaffected by the goo.

Heather got up and stretched, and decided to step outside. The campsite (it has been named Inkopolis the Remix for some reason) was bustling and lively as usual. Some were chatting and playfully squirting ink as if nothing was wrong, while others sat around all sullen faced.

Overall, the current population of ITR was 200. Some camped out at Tentakeel Outpost, while others took shelter within the domes below. Every single one (that was an Inkling) had been drafted into the New Squidbeak Splatoon whether they liked it or not, as every single extra set of hands was helpful. As for Octavio, he was taking command of his own troops and making them help combat the new threat. He and Capn' Cuttlefish had been forced to forge a truce, as they now shared a common enemy that threatened everyone's existence.

Over in the far left corner of the enterance area, Capn' Craig Cuttlefish himself was trying to get a signal to tell other countries about what had happened, and what was coming. As for the leader of the Octarians, he was beside the captain looking angry as usual.

"Aw fishfingers", Craig muttered, "still nothin'. For all we know that weird phone might have done something to block the signal... got any ideas old friend?"

"..." Octavio said nothing, his eyes just slanted downward more signalling that he was still mad.

"Fair enough. Let's take a break, I'm sure everyone here would like somethin' to munch on. Sure you can't spare even a single morsel from down there in the domes?"

"I've told you, our food supplies were already low enough before this happened."

He wasn't wrong, and knowing this broke Heather's hearts. She honestly felt kind of bad for abandoning her own kind while they suffered underground, but now things were even worse. She walked over to the squabbling old men, and meekly said "hello."

Capn' Cuttlefish turned towards her, as did Octavio. "Ah, Agent Eight! Look who decided to join the living! Come on and help me convince this old coot to share some food."

"Look who's talking", Octavio grunted, "You ain't exactly young yourself."

"Your Majesty", Heather began, "please."

"You dare address me like that, traitor?"

"That's not important! If the people here aren't fed, we won't have any strength to fight the enemy!"

"There isn't enough to go around for everyone even if I wanted to share it!"

Heather sighed. Good ol' Octavio, as stubborn as a brick wall as always. She decided to just walk away, despite being called after by the captain. She decided to go see the other agents, 3 and 4 (1 and 2 were out with 50 of ITR's residents trying to make sure nothing got in or out of Inkopolis). What were those two's names again? Right! Clara was 3, and Sophie was 4.

Clara was a serious and tough sort of Inkling, while Sophie was the polar opposite- bubbly and childlike.

Sophie was sitting on top of one of the kettles, playing Squid Jump on her shellphone (she tried to call for help, but her phone had no signal as well). "How can you play games at a time like this", Clara snapped.

"Can't be sad and sulky all day", Sophie replied. Clara walked over there and snatched phone out of her fellow agent's hands. "Hey", Sophie whined. "You need to be training to fight the enemy, NOT PLAYING AROUND!"

"C'mon, give it back!"

"Not until you start training. The whole world is at stake here!"

Their fight was interrupted by someone clearing their throat- lo and behold, it was Heather.

"Hey... let's not fight..." Clara's previously angry face began to soften. "It's just", she said, "we've never dealt with this kind of threat before... it's... it's..." Clara looked down, pouting. "A lot", Heather said. "We can do this. I know we can." Heather only said that to make Clara feel better, as even SHE didn't know if they could.

"Hey guys cheer up", Sophie chirped, "Eight's right. We can DO THIS."

Heather smiled weakly. Sophie's boundless enthusiasm made even the hardest days bearable. She walked away from the pair and sat on the edge, legs dangling down above the gorge. She looked down, and observed the water moving below. The thing that once gave cephalopods life, was now fatal to them. How ironic.

As she stared down, a thought crossed her mind. It was her fault. SHE had doomed Inkopolis and possibly the rest of the world. For a moment she considered leaping off the edge, knowing that she wouldn't be able to respawn if she fell at such a distance. She felt like she was the one responsible for the millions of deaths (or worse, sanitizations) and didn't deserve to live another day. Then, as quickly as these thoughts came, she literally shook herself out of it and stood up. Sure she was the one that got everyone into this mess, but by Cod she was gonna help get them out!

She clenched her fists, not only angry at herself, but at that damn phone- or Tartar, as it called itself. Someday, somehow, she'd make him pay for everything.

[carnegiemuseumnaturalhistory]

A Head Above the Rest: Unearthing the Story of Our Leatherback Sea Turtle

When you think of BIG sea creatures, you probably imagine great white sharks, huge blue whales, or ginormous cephalopods like the giant squid (or, for the more imaginative, the Kraken!). But would you believe me if I told you that the ocean is also home to a reptile that grows far larger than a human? Many people are familiar with the “typical” green sea turtle (Chelonia mydas) or even the hawksbill sea turtle (Eretmochelys imbricata), known for its beautifully patterned shell. However, these species are dwarfed in size compared to the leatherback sea turtle (Dermochelys coriacea). Adult leatherback sea turtles are usually 6 to 8 feet long and 550 to 1500 pounds. To put that into context, imagine 3 to 8 adult men of average height and weight huddled together or 8 to 24 Labrador retriever dogs playing about in a group (now THAT would be heavenly!). An animal that big takes up a great deal of room, which is fine in the expansive ocean but is rather problematic if such a turtle is to become a museum research specimen. That is exactly the case with CM 44460, the famous leatherback sea turtle housed in the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s Section of Amphibians and Reptiles.

Head and esophagus of leatherback sea turtle CM 44460. The esophagus is so large it needed to be split into pieces— the two circles at the lower left and right corners of the tank and the large mass in the top left corner. Leatherback sea turtles lack teeth, and instead rely on spikey protrusions present in their mouths and esophagi to keep down their favorite prey item, jellyfish.

Cast of CM 44460 hanging above visitors in Discovery Basecamp.

When people tour the Section of Amphibians and Reptiles, we make it a point to open one of the first metal tanks our guests see, tank 156. This tank houses a single impressive specimen – the giant head and esophagus of a leatherback sea turtle. I started as the collection manager of the section just under two years ago and, until recently, the only information I had for this specimen were the scant details noted in the section’s database and on a printed sheet attached to the lid of the tank: a fisherman had found the specimen dead when it washed ashore in Maine in 1965. That was it. I knew the entire animal (not just the head) had washed ashore since a cast was made of the body and that replica is now hanging in Discovery Basecamp. I also knew ecological and herpetological information about the species in general, but nearly every specimen in a natural history collection has a story, and I knew this one had to be good... but I didn’t know what it was…

… until I began digitizing the section’s archives.

Let’s take a step away from our leatherback sea turtle specimen to understand what “digitizing the section’s archives” really means. Carnegie Museum of Natural History is over 100 years old, and the herpetology archives date back to the museum’s inception. That means we had, at the time I became involved with the digitizing work, nearly 125 years of correspondence, field notes, specimen data, and collection-related events to clean, scan, and properly organize and house both physically and electronically. (For a more in-depth dive into this archiving process, see section archivist Ren Jordan’s post here.) It took a team of about 10 people (part-time and full-time interns, work-study students, and staff members) over a year to complete this daunting task. The treasure trove of information we unearthed in those archives is priceless, and CM 44460’s story is a treasure worth sharing.

Images from archives showing how staff members prepared CM 44460 to be accessioned into the herpetology collection and displayed to the public. Clockwise from the top left: Herpetology staff members C. J. McCoy and Arthur Bianculli lift the shell onto a cart for transport; Herpetology curator Neil D. Richmond and museum preparator Otto M. Epping measure out the cast of CM 44460 created from the shell and body measurements; Preparator Otto M. Epping and Exhibits staff member Forest Hart removing the shell from a cargo van upon arrival to the Carnegie Museum; Herpetology staff members C. J. McCoy, Arthur Bianculli, and Neil D. Richmond examine the head of CM 44460 in a large potato chip can; Herpetology curator Neil D. Richmond shows the head to museum director M. Graham Netting as another staff member looks on.

Herpetology staff members C. J. McCoy, Arthur Bianculli, and Neil D. Richmond examine the head of CM 44460 in a large potato chip can upon its arrival to the museum (A). The complete description of the image as it appears affixed to the back of the image (B). 

During the digitization work, the archival material I processed included the field notes of past-curator Dr. C. J. McCoy, and among his papers was a crumbly old folder labeled “CM 44460” that required rehousing. The number lacked any context for me at the time because the section has over 180,000 catalog (or CM) numbers and, try as I might, I don’t yet have them all memorized. When I pulled out pictures from the folder, though, CM 44460’s identity instantly became apparent, for I found myself looking at the images of our famous leatherback sea turtle. One picture showed the creation of the cast and another depicted the shell being carried by two men due to its size. Another image showed Dr. McCoy crouched with two other men near a huge open tin can labeled “Potato Chips” with, shockingly, the head of dear CM 44460 peeking out of the top. A note affixed to the back of the image read “C. J. McCoy, Arthur Bianculli, & Neil D. Richmond examining head which filled 7-gal. can. 27 Aug. 1965. Leatherback Turtle caught 16 Aug. 1965 off Swan’s Is., Maine by Lobsterman Robert Joyce. Presented to Carnegie Museum by Dave Shelton, Aqualand, Bar Harbor, Maine” (Image 4B). Suddenly pieces of the story were falling into place. This specimen was transported from Maine to Pittsburgh in pieces, with the head arriving separate from the body and shell in a 7-gallon potato chip container!

A couple months later, I unearthed another folder in the archives with data from the specimen. The documents recorded the preservation process of the turtle, including measuring and weighing different organs (knowing that they would be too large to properly preserve and store), and how long it took the head to become fully and properly fixed in formalin. Through these notes, I learned that the turtle was a female measuring 7’5” from the tip of her tail to the tip of her snout, and that her ocean wandering was powered by a flipper-span of 8’4”! Based upon her carapace (the top part of a turtle shell) measuring in at 5’5”, this turtle was likely sexually reproductive and, therefore, rather old. CM 44460’s story is so much clearer now and really goes to show how each specimen in a collection has its own unique history just waiting to be investigated.

Stevie Kennedy-Gold is the collection manager for the Section of Amphibians and Reptiles at Carnegie Museum of Natural History. Museum employees are encouraged to blog about their unique experiences and knowledge gained from working at the museum.

[waywardfangirl]

I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

 

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean. 

 

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

 

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

 

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

 

“What?”

 

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

 

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

 

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

 

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

 

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

 

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

 

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

 

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

 

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

 

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

 

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

 

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

 

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

 

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

 

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

 

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

 

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

 

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

 

"Save me from what, exactly?"

 

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

 

"This!"

 

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

 

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

 

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

 

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

 

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

 

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

 

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

 

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

 

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

 

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

 

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

 

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

 

"But, couldn't they-"

 

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

 

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

 

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

 

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

 

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

 

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

 

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit. 

 

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

 

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

 

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

 

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

 

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

 

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

 

"Simon. I'm Simon."

 

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

 

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

 

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

 

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

 

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."

[monster-huntologist]

Monster Ecologies: Namielle

Entry 38 - Namielle

Name: Namielle

Aliases: Neromyēru, Abyssal Dragon, The Sea God

Classification: Unclassified, Elder Dragon

Biology: Discovered only in the past few months, Namielle are extremely unusual Elder Dragons. They possess traits of numerous species, such as having an overall reptilian body structure but their skin being more like that of an amphibian, or its wings being reminiscent of manta ray fins while ending in tentacles akin to those of a cephalopod. Due to this extremely puzzling biology, Namielle may very well be in a Phylum all to itself. Its wings are extremely large, colored black on top and blue on the underside, with a multicolor bioluminescence that pulses almost constantly. They are also capable of producing electricity due to specialised organs throughout their body, releasing it from both its legs and wings when angered enough. Its head is primarily red with multiple long whiskers extending from the lower jaw while the rest of its body is colored with multiple shades of blue alongside the same bioluminescence from its wings. When its body becomes dried out, it instead has a milky-tan coloration. Like many other Elder Dragons, Namielle possesses unparalleled control over an element and are notable for their mastery with water. A major component to this ability is its skin, which is made of a flexible and highly absorbent tissue that can easily take in moisture from the surrounding air. It then combines the water with saliva produced inside its body, making it so that the liquid will stick to surfaces and be present for longer periods of time without sleeping into the ground.

Behaviour: Namielle are rather pacifistic monsters, often preferring to simply use their hydrokinetic abilities to wash away any intruders in their territory but is content to leave them be as long as they do not disturb it. Their bioluminescence has somewhat of a calming effect on other Elder Dragons, so fights rarely break out if they ever encounter each other. That being said, they will not shy away from a fight if the initial deterrent fails. They are noticeably quite intelligent and strategic when in battle, using the very area itself as a weapon while agiley dodging attacks and manipulating the movements of their opponents.

Habitat: Namielle are primarily aquatic, spending the majority of their lives in water. Many live out in the depths of the open sea, but it is believed that some inhabit the waters surrounding the New World. They are fully capable of surviving on land, but only choose to surface for a few months or so before returning underwater. In the New World, they have so far only been spotted in the Coral Highlands and the corresponding region in the Guiding Lands. It often causes heavy rain to occur whenever they are in an area, which often results in a boom in plant growth once it leaves.

Diet: Namielle are primarily piscivores, feeding on a wide variety of fish found throughout the sea or in lakes and rivers inland. Other aquatic species such as jellyfish and crustaceans are also eaten. They will sometimes feed on Grandfather Mantragells or Flying Meduso in the Coral Highlands, likely due to them being aerial counterparts of their usual aquatic prey. Previously unidentified bite marks on Plesioth carcasses washed ashore have been noted to bear resemblance to the teeth of Namielle, so it is believed that the Piscine Wyverns are an occasional food source for the Elder Dragon.

Attack Method: While they are no slouches in the physical department and are powerful enough to momentarily resist the overwhelming strength of a Savage Deviljho or momentarily stagger a Rajang, Namielle tend to favour using their elemental abilities. They shoot water out of their mouths as either globs that form puddles on the ground, released in large amounts as a surging wave, or focused into a high-pressure beam. If the beam makes contact with any puddles, they will explode with bursts of water. This is used in conjunction with its electricity, which has a high enough voltage to cause the water to explode into steam. It can manipulate these puddles to cause Hunters standing on them to lose their balance or be pushed and pulled around to its whim. The water can also be reabsorbed back into its body to form a protective membrane around its skin, cushioning against attacks. However, it has to be somewhat wary with its abilities. If it drains too much of its water supply, it becomes dehydrated. Not only does this make attacking much more difficult, its skin becomes soft and easier to damage. This can be remedied simply by absorbing more water, whether from an outside source or from its already created puddles. The most powerful attack of a Namielle, the “super move”, involves it draining all of its water at once and then pumping the resulting giant puddle full of electricity until it violently explodes. Due to the danger of dehydration this presents, it is a hit-and-run tactic and the monster must replenish its water supply afterwards.

Place in the Food Chain: Namielle are separated from any normal food chains due to being Elder Dragons. The only thing that they have to fear is a Ruiner Nergigante hunting them, which even then is a rare circumstance due to them only occasionally coming on land. While out at sea however, they would often have to fight Nakarkos and adult Gobul. The bioluminescence of Namielle deters fights with Abyssal Lagiacrus and Ceadi, relaxing and calming them as it matches their own respective bioluminescence. Some believe that this ability would also allow them to be one of the only creatures that Alatreon willingly interacts with, as it is theoretically possible for the two species to meet on the ocean floor.

This has been a report on the Namielle. Thank you for reading.