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the-rewatch-rewind · 1 year ago

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My love for this movie is difficult to express, but here is my attempt.

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind. My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be talking about number three on my list: Paramount Pictures, Guber-Peters Company, PolyGram Pictures, and Debra Hill Productions’ 1985 comedy mystery Clue, directed by Jonathan Lynn, written by John Landis and Jonathan Lynn based on the board game Cluedo designed by Anthony E Pratt, and starring Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Martin Mull, and Lesley Ann Warren.

Six strangers are invited to an ominous, secluded mansion to meet the man who has been anonymously blackmailing them. But someone wants to protect their secret badly enough to kill for it, and as the bodies begin to pile up, the butler, maid, and guests race to discover the culprit before the police arrive.

I grew up in a board game playing family, so I learned how to play Clue soon after I learned how to read. We also had a slightly more complicated version of the game called Master Detective, which had more possible suspects, weapons, and rooms and included a couple extra features, and that has pretty much always been my favorite board game. What I particularly loved about it, especially as a child who never had much hope of beating my parents at games that required any skill, was that it was fun regardless of who the winner ended up being. I just liked seeing how close I could get to the solution before someone else inevitably solved it. I remember my parents mentioning that there was a movie version of Clue that had three different endings, and that they had seen Ending B in a theater, which confused and intrigued me.

The first time I ever watched this movie was when it happened to come on TV when I was visiting my grandparents. I think I was around 10 years old, and I actually thought it was kind of scary. Watching seven murders take place in a creepy old house was a bit much for me. But even then, there was something about it that grabbed me. The characters were all kind of despicable, and yet I liked them. I wanted to see more from them. So we started renting this movie from our local Hollywood Video, over and over again, and eventually we bought it on VHS and later on DVD. Once I got over my initial fright and started appreciating it as a brilliant comedy, I could not get enough of this movie. I can’t even begin to guess how many times I watched Clue before I started tracking my views in 2003, but I know it was a lot because every moment of the movie was already committed to my memory. If I was ever bored, I could close my eyes and play the film for myself with the projector of my mind. I wrote out the entire script so I could count how many words each character spoke. I used toys to act out the entire movie, along with the only person I knew who was more obsessed with Clue than I was: my brother, who was also fascinated by these characters and their antics, although as a preschooler he certainly did not fully understand the plot. But that was fine because ultimately, this movie’s appeal is not its plot, which is basically nonsense; it’s the ensemble. And it was so great having somebody close to me who understood that the same way I did. I think the rest of our family liked this movie too, but they definitely ended up watching it way more than they would have without my brother’s and my insistence.

My need to rewatch this movie was already beginning to wear off before I started keeping track, since the whole thing already lived rent-free in my brain, but even so, I watched it six times in 2003, four times in 2004, once in 2005, three times in 2006, twice in 2007, once in 2008, once in 2009, four times in 2010, twice in 2011, once in 2012, three times in 2013, once in 2014, twice in 2015, once in 2016, once in 2017, once in 2018, and once in 2021. I think part of why I’ve been watching it less in recent years is because ever since 2016, when I’ve felt like watching something like this, I’ve tended to watch Poe Party instead of Clue. But that’s not to say that I don’t still absolutely love Clue. I’ve just seen it enough that I don’t need to actually sit down in front of a screen to experience it.

One thing that I learned relatively recently that explains a lot is that apparently, Jonathan Lynn screened the movie His Girl Friday for the cast of Clue to demonstrate the feel he wanted for this movie. Even though Clue was made in the 1980s, it takes place in the 1950s, and was intentionally mimicking the style of fast-talking screwball comedies from the 1930s and ‘40s. So while I still consider watching Singin’ in the Rain in 2002 my proper introduction to Old Hollywood, falling in love with Clue a couple years earlier really prepared me to fall in love with old movies. Characters who look glamorous and sophisticated but are actually goofballs getting involved in ridiculous situations is my jam, and Clue takes what classic screwballs did with that to a whole new level. The script brilliantly combined several different types of both old-fashioned and updated comedy, and the perfect cast brought it to life in the best possible way. I don’t know if the His Girl Friday screening had any real impact, but regardless, every member of the cast fully understood the assignment and absolutely crushed it. A big part of what makes this movie so rewatchable is that everybody is so on all of the time that it’s fun to focus on what they’re doing in the background. Martin Mull is an amazing confidently clueless Colonel Mustard. Lesley Ann Warren gives Miss Scarlet just the right amount of sass. Christopher Lloyd makes Professor Plum sleazy enough that we get the picture without it ever getting too uncomfortable. Eileen Brennan nails Mrs. Peacock’s barely-holding-it-together-but-can-still-judge-you temperament. Mr. Green is accident prone which means he brings in the physical comedy, and Michael McKean fully commits to it. Of the main characters, Mrs. White has the fewest lines, but Madeline Kahn makes her presence known, doing absolutely everything possible with what she’s given, and improvising one of the greatest, funniest speeches in movie history. Jonathan Lynn discouraged improvisation on the set in general, but Kahn going on and on about the flames on the side of her face was too hilarious not to include. This devotion to delivering the lines exactly as written meant that Tim Curry as the butler Wadsworth, who ultimately figures out what happened and explains the whole thing, had to basically memorize a dictionary, and he killed it and I love him for it. When I was younger, I used to think I had a crush on Wadsworth, but I eventually came to realize that I just wanted to be Wadsworth, with the confidence to solve a puzzle and the eloquence to explain the solution in a highly entertaining, if long-winded, way.

The supporting cast is also excellent, and I wish that we could have seen more from them. Lee Ving’s name alone made him the perfect murder victim, but I also love the way he plays Mr. Boddy as sort of a cool mobster type of guy. Colleen Camp as the voluptuous, scantily clad maid Yvette is almost a throwaway joke of a character, but Camp manages to make her seem like a real person, or as real as any of these other ridiculous characters anyway. When I took French in high school and we all had to pick a French name, I chose Yvette because of this movie, even though I never even remotely identified with this character. Bill Henderson as the cop is an excellent straight man for the shenanigans with the bodies, which is either one of the funniest or most disturbing parts of the film, depending on how you look at it. Jeffrey Kramer, Kellye Nakahara, and Jane Wiedlin barely had anything to do, but they made their brief moments as memorable as possible. Basically, as fun as the script is, this movie would not have worked without an incredible cast, and thankfully, it has that. In some ways I wish the actors had been allowed to play around a bit more because then maybe we could have gotten other moments as epic as the flames speech, but at the same time, I feel like the pressure to say everything exactly as written in long takes added to the stress the characters were meant to be feeling. And the script is full of great jokes and excellent banter; it’s just that since the mystery aspect doesn’t really track anyway, I feel like the director could have let the actors have more fun with it.

I understand that they were trying to use the multiple endings to represent how the game is different every time, and also as a bit of a publicity stunt, but it kind of backfired. Theater-going audiences found it confusing, and the movie initially flopped. Thankfully with the home video version that included all three endings, Clue eventually did gain the cult following it deserves. But the problem is, in trying to accommodate three different solutions, the mystery gets lost in the middle, and none of the endings actually track. Yvette’s death is the part that makes the least sense – we clearly see that Mrs. Peacock and Mrs. White were both elsewhere seconds beforehand, so endings B and C don’t work, and in ending A Yvette was working with the killer so what she says right before she is killed doesn’t make any sense. For all of Wadsworth’s explanations, each ending leaves many unanswered questions, and they kind of draw attention to this in two of the endings, with one character saying, “There’s still one thing I don’t understand” and somebody else interjecting, “ONE thing?” Clearly this was meant to be a comedy rather than a serious murder mystery, but I do feel like if they weren’t trying to be so gimmicky, they could have made the mystery part work too (see Poe Party). Although in some ways, I kind of love that Clue doesn’t make sense. It feels perfectly consistent to have these characters who are pretending to be serious and dignified when they’re really all very silly people get caught up in a murder mystery with three endings that don’t work. When I point out Clue’s plot holes, it’s more like gently ribbing a friend than cinematic critique. I have to analyze the flaws in the story because of who I am as an overthinker, but I don’t think the flaws make it bad; if anything, they increase my enjoyment of the movie. It’s like a game: spot all the inconsistencies, and then realize that none of them matter. Because ultimately, fans of this movie aren’t here for the story; we’re here for the cast and the vibes. I don’t really know how to describe it, but while there are certainly other fun mystery-parody-type comedies out there, none of the others I’ve seen has quite the same tone as Clue, and that’s another reason I keep rewatching it.

And from an aroace perspective, Clue is great because there really is no love story. I mean, people mention spouses and affairs, and jealousy is floated as a possible motive for murder, but none of the characters that we see fall in love with each other during the course of the movie. Professor Plum does hit on Miss Scarlet a bit, but her reaction is very, “What the hell is wrong with you? We have way more important things to worry about right now.” When the cop shows up, in order to prevent him from finding out about the murders, some of the characters pretend to be making out with the bodies as if they’re alive, which is very weird on many levels, but it’s kind of a great illustration of the ridiculousness of allonormativity. If the cop had looked twice at them he would have noticed something was off, but of course adults at a party are going to be making out, nothing to see here, moving on. I always thought this part was hilarious when I was younger, and now that I understand my identity better I can articulate my appreciation for the way this movie portrays people who are focused on romance as the weird ones. Obviously that’s specific to this situation – like, I think most alloromantic people would agree that being locked in a murder house is not the best time to pursue romance. But aromantic stories are so rare that I’ll take whatever I can find. When Clue mentions sex, it’s usually either as a punchline (“Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage”) or part of a motive, since most of the blackmail victims are being blackmailed for something to do with sex. The sexual content is mostly in the background, adding to the vibes without pulling too much focus, kind of like some of my favorite classic films noirs. And this whole movie is so silly that I don’t feel like the sexiness is really meant to be taken seriously. Asking how an asexual person could possibly enjoy a film filled with so many blatantly allosexual characters would be just as ridiculous as asking how a person who had never killed anyone could possibly enjoy a film filled with so much murder. These characters clearly weren’t meant to be too relatable. But I still appreciate getting to see them on an evening when they’re at least mostly focused on things besides romance and sex.

I know I keep going on about how this movie is just silly fun, but one aspect that I do think was meant to be taken kind of seriously is the satirical criticism of McCarthyism. The exaggeratedly horrified gasps in response to Wadsworth's revelation that his wife had friends who were socialists is funny, but also, people’s lives were legitimately ruined because of that attitude. The only line that all three endings have in common is “Communism is just a red herring,” which is relevant to the movie because characters were trying to tie the murders into Cold War-related motives that ended up being irrelevant, but also kind of describes how trying to stop communism was used as an excuse for atrocities that didn’t always have much if anything to do with communism. It’s a little odd to stick that message in this movie, and I don’t exactly know why it’s there, but I like the way it adds to the Old Hollywood connection. Filmmakers in the 1950s had to be very careful about the messages they put in their movies, and what they said outside of their movies, for fear of being blacklisted as suspected communists, so it seems fitting that this movie set in the 1950s would be calling that out. Although there were very much still Cold War tensions in the 1980s as well, which is perhaps why this message is all but buried in silliness. And maybe I’m wrong and this aspect was meant to be silly as well, but it feels rather pointed to me, so I wanted to bring it up as one of the many fascinating aspects of this film.

I truly believe that Clue is a great movie that has something for everyone, and highly recommend it to anyone listening who hasn’t seen it, but at the same time, I am incapable of separating the movie from my own nostalgia. I can’t imagine what I would think of this movie if I watched it today for the first time because I would be a fundamentally different person if I hadn’t seen Clue a zillion times when I was young. Not only did it inform my taste in movies going forward, but it also shaped my understanding of the world, in a way. I think like most children, I once assumed adults knew what they were doing, but this movie showed me a bunch of adults who didn’t have the slightest idea, which was simultaneously terrifying and comforting. It also changed the way I talked, because I used to quote this movie constantly. I do it less now, but there was a time when instead of “I wasn’t talking to you” I would always say, “I was asking Miss Scarlet!” Or when somebody was looking for a key, I’d go, “Never mind about the key; unlock the door!” If anybody said, “Maybe…” with a long pause, I’d have to follow it with “Mr. Boddy killed the cook!” And similarly, “Oh who cares?” always had to be followed by, “That guy doesn’t matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The police will be here by then, and there are TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY!!!” And if anyone got confused about numbers, I’d helpfully chime in, “Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one.” I could go on, but I’d end up quoting the whole movie, because I’m pretty sure I’ve managed to work every single line into a non-Clue-related conversation at least once. Often people just stare at me blankly, but it’s fun quoting it to my siblings because they usually respond with the next line, and we can go through whole scenes if nobody stops us. I have so many fun memories of reciting and analyzing this movie with them, arguing about things like whether Mr. Boddy says, “It’s only glass” or “It’s hunky glass” about the conservatory wall – it’s definitely “only” but my sister will not be convinced. Memories of my little brother adorably misunderstanding lines, thinking that Mrs. White’s husband had a “big fair” with Yvette, or that Mrs. Peacock said, “Oh I got a horse!” instead of “Oh my god of course!” or that blackmail was what those dark brown UPS trucks delivered. At one point, I wrote a script for Master Detective, which had the same basic premise as Clue – a bunch of blackmail victims congregated in a house to confront their blackmailer and his accomplices – but made even less sense. I didn’t back it up so it disappeared when that computer died, thankfully, but I still remember enough of it to cringe about. Since all the suspects had color names, I decided all the murder victims needed themed names as well, so I named them all after body parts to go with Mr. Boddy and thought I was so clever. I don’t remember most of them anymore, but I know there was a Mr. Elbow and a Mrs. Toenail. I also remember at one point I wrote in the directions something like, “It’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. In fact, Miss Peach drops a pin” and again was delighted by my own cleverness. My brother and I used to act it out with toys, and one time, after the dead body of the butler had been thrown out the window for some reason right before somebody else was arriving, my brother was being silly and had the new person pick up the dead body and say, “I brought your butler back!” seemingly without realizing that the butler was dead, and I thought that was so hilarious that I added it into the script, and it’s still my favorite part that I remember. It was a bad script, but in my defense I was very young, and anyway my point is, Clue inspired me to be creative in a fun way, without worrying about taking my work or myself too seriously, which is the attitude I’ve tried to take into making this podcast.

I feel like there is so much more I could say about Clue, but it’s hard to find words to adequately express how deeply I love this film. It feels wrong to call this a “comfort movie” when there are so many murders in it, but somehow it does feel comforting. It’s like an old friend, whose jokes I’ve heard a hundred times but still make me laugh, whom I love in spite of, and in some ways because of, their flaws. I know not everybody is into movies the way I am, but I think everybody needs at least one story or piece of art that they feel that way about. Not that experiencing art is a substitute for real friendship, but art is a form of human expression and connection that I think we all need in addition to relationships. And yes, I consider Clue to be a work of art. It’s a frickin masterpiece.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched movies. I fear these episodes are becoming less coherent as I get into my top films that I can’t even with, but I hope they’re still enjoyable. Next up will be my second most rewatched movie, which I have seen 37 times in its entirety even though it is by far the longest movie in my entire top 40. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Shelves in the closet. Happy thought indeed.”

#clue #clue movie #the rewatch rewind

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 1 year ago

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Hey, it’s been awhile since I last did this, but I decided to go for as returning to Tumblr felt like a bit of a small nostalgia trip for me, so why not get back to one of my favourite MHA fan writers for old times sake and beside, a lot has changed since last time so why not….

Well anyways, as for the idea I’m going with, I am thinking of going with a remake version of my first Match-Up of an My Hero Academia and Genshin Impact Match-Up, if that is cool with you?

Things That Remained The Same: Of course, my name is still Mason, my zodiac sign is still a Taurus, as well as I still consider myself as He/Him and Straight, along with me having dark brown hair and brown eyes. I also still consider myself as a full blown nerd towards the things I am interested in, although now I am a mix of being a Marvel and DC fan as of currently, I’m still a fan of My Hero Academia though I left the fan base altogether because “MHA Fanbase being MHA Fanbase,” currently I’m looking for different shows that could peak my interest (Such as Zom 100 and maybe RWBY, although that’s because of one RWBY character I like and ticked that the writers killed her off kinda got me into the whole “I like this character, now I’m obsessed,” that being Penny Polendina.) I still do Graphics Designing although I mostly post on Deviantart rather than Tumblr lately, I still have trust and communication with my autism although thankfully it isn’t as bad now of days, as I am a bit more confident with my social skills but mostly towards the people I considered as friends. As of currently, those are all the things I would say that mostly remained the same, as while I get curious with different series and all that, the basic tropes I have such as being a Nerd who loves to do Graphics Designing remained the same. (Oh, and I’m also still doing the best person I can be, though now there are times when I questioned about the goal, but I still follow it as I believed it’s the right thing to do.)

Things That Changed: Alright, now we are getting to the nitty gritty on the things I considered to be pretty changed, I retook the MBTI Personality quiz and I ended up getting a mix of ISFP and ESFP due to the “E” and “I” being 50/50, and while I consider myself more as a ESFP lately, it could depend on my mood depending on the day. I unfortunately shrink down to being a 6’2, I’m planning on trying to get back to doing Voice Acting though I am planning on getting my main PC fixed before I pick up the prices for the plan, while I’m using my laptop to do the graphics designing while I’m waiting til I get the computer fixed up, as well as taking a similar path to trying to get back to writing. I’ve also been watching a lot of Instagram Reels just for laughs, as well as opening a new Instagram account for my graphics designing uploads, as well as moving to a new Photo Editing engine with more features that helped improve on the way I work on my Profiles and Thumbnails. I am also currently doing a bit more hard work to lose some weight, as someone I know personally ended up getting health issues and I didn’t wanna become like him, so I’m trying to be more active and trying to eat a bit more healthy, though it’s hard since I’m someone who likes food in general. And lastly, I am actually planning on growing out my hair to bring out more style to it, with a hairstyle similar to Diluc’s ponytail from Genshin Impact being my go to style if I reach to my satisfied length and width.

Overall, I think that is all the info I have for this one, this might be my biggest info dump I have ever given, as there are some that remained the same along with new things added and somethings changing in my life. I hope you enjoy and remember that you’re always a beautiful on the inside and outside!

Hi Mason! It's good to hear form you again. Getting an updated mutchup is something I think more people should do. Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

The first matchup change. Although Uraraka would still be a close second, I think Tsuyu would better match you now.

I see Tsuyu as someone who would be surprisingly good at voice acting. It’s not so much that she can do lots of really different voices but she’s passionate and really good at putting emotion into her voice.

Enjoys working out with you. She always finds it more enjoyable when she’s got someone with her. That way they can hype her up and she can hype them up.

Very supportive of your efforts in trying to be the best person you can. Whenever you have moments of doubt, she’ll listen to your worries and give you her honest opinion.

Tsuyu is a firm believer that everyone should be the best person they can be. And she’ll do whatever she can do to support you in that.

Absolutely has one of your graphic designs as her phone’s lock screen. She likes how it looks, as well as how it reminds her of you.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Yes, both of your matchups have changed! Collei is pretty similar to Amber so there not a while lot of difference in your relationship.

The main change is that Collei is significantly more reserved than Amber. While she opens up around people she knows, she’s pretty quiet around those she doesn’t know well.

You can both work on your communication problems and social skills together.

Modern au Collei definitely watches anime. I can see her as a fan of classic shows like Sailor Moon but she would also be into newer shows like RWBY.

Sends you so many Instagram reels. She’s on there all the time and loves watching anything you send to her.

Really good at knowing dietary tips and tricks so Collei is definitely the person to go to for information about eating healthier. If she’s not sure about something, she’ll ask Tighnari, who is sure to know the exact benefits of almost any kind of plant or animal you could ask about.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #tsuyu asui #genshin impact #collei

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cepheusgalaxy · 6 months ago

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The OC Masterpost (2.0)

A while ago, someone asked who were my ocs, so I made a big post introducing them. Since then, the post became outdated so i decided to make a new one. They are separated by wip.

main wips

1. Meine

2. Totsuka e Ola (updated with Ola's new new name!)

3. Snow White

secondary wips

4. Trisaster

5. Ein

6. Little Red Riding Hood Cyberpunk

7. The War Of The Human Throne (now with picrews!)

8. Unchosen One

9. Across Time and Odds

10. 9 Gates of Hell

11. The Witch's Paladin

12. Rumplestiltskin's Child

coming out eventually

13. Clou & Venera

14. Elysium

15. Gate

16. Redrose

wipless ocs (they need a whole other post)

Petrichor - (he/him/it) Witch guy in witch uni. He is a stoic and playful dumbass who thinks he's funny (x <- link to his design sheet)

Jake Valentine - (he/him) You will never hear about him from me but here he is

Jesse Valerie - (they/them) Jake's fuckbuddy

Michael Mia - (he/they/any) Ask me about him ask me about him

Yohann - (he/him) He's just a little guy, really

links:

OC Gallery [to be made] - Old OC Masterpost - WIP Intro - My Silly Selfsonas Intro [to be made] - OC Trivia Bingo (original ask game) [to be made]

Feel free to ask me about any of them! ^^ I love talking about my ocs, and I also have a bunch of ask games saved you can pick an ask from.

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sticher30 · 7 months ago

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🎀 list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! get to know your moots or followers <3

-@letsgoricciardo

Ooh ok five things that make me happy.

My friends I got from this year. I've always had a slight FOMO and a little bit of an imposter syndrome in relation to friends. This is defininetly been actually nice for me, I actually haven't felt anything related to an imposter syndrome this year since I left for university. So I'm really happy to have made the friends I did.

Editing. Editing has always been a form of art that I love to do. I'm still on the newer side of things (like I'm about to hit 5 years now). I've actually made insta moots with editors that I like looked up to. One of them I even got slightly close to and did a lil animal crossing prom thing in a discord with them which was insane. I mean it's crazy when these people you've watched make edits and aspire to make edit slike them, suddenly become mutuals with you on instagram. I started on insta and now I'm on tt. I started with RvB and I went back to RvB after the era we do not talk about but I'm also doing f1 and fe edits.

Motorsports. I've always been a sports jumper. I started with MLB then went to NBA and then NFL. I like to say that the more I get into a sport is based on the funny videos of them. MLB is obvious, I've seen all the old funny videos that I could tell you what happens in the clips. I've seen so many that I've seen so many repeat clips. NBA was more Luka for some reason, I think I liked his trick shot stuff. There isn't a lot of funny moments without involving someone in the negative light, which is different from MLB. Which I loved MLB funny moments that occured between the two teams. And then NFL just happened somehow with some funny things but not a lot. And then I found motorsports through a Brocedes edit. And I just fell in love through the funny moments. My parents sometimes ask me, how do I know so much f1 stuff, and I say it's because I consumed a lot of videos. Which I did, but majority were a funny complimation. And then suddenly formulawah made a guide to formula e, and there were quips in there that made me interested in watching fe. And suddenly now I'm watching all the lil funny montages they have up on the fe channels. And so yeah, f1 and fe make me happy.

Gaming. I play a lot of different genres of games (OXENFREE is my favorite totally recommend try playing it AAAAAAAA I could go on a whole ramble about this). Right now I have a fixation on Stardew Valley (especially with the new update) so I'm gonna binge play that. But I just love gaming, especially games with character designs and stories). And gaming just makes me happy.

Red vs Blue. It's like slightly also making me sad because it's ending (also everything Project Freelancer makes me sad (THERE IS LITERALLY A SONG THATS KINDA HAPPY AND VIBES ARE GOOD CALLED "We'll be coming back" BUT I GET SAD EVERYTIME BC SOMEONE ONCE COMPARED IT TO WASH AND THE FREELANCERS AND I JUST SCREAM) ahem anyways, yeah it can also make me sad). But it also makes me laugh a lot, and I love the characters dearly. Even if I scream in frustration when a fic on ao3 may not update in a month (bc the fandom is like half dead there ngl and that usually means discontinued sometimes). But I love Red vs Blue so much. I bought the fanbook, I bought some like slap bracelets. I just love it and it makes me happy. I could literally anaylyze every single character.

#yeah thats right i had to explain my answers #bc its my blog i do what i want

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thesmollestnerd · 2 years ago

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Star Wars Clone OC || CT-1598 “Beacon” [She/Her]

Legion: 187th Attack (High General Mace Windu), “Misfit Company” Rank: Sergeant Position: Heavy Trooper

Bio:

“CT-1598″ created of the 1.5.9.A. This batch designed to be more physically suited towards the demands of heavy artillery. CT-1598 showed exemplary marksmanship, team-collaboration, even temperment, and leadership aptitudes during cadet training. Upon graduation and assignment to the 187th, she began publicly transitioning. This was a non-issue as bigoted views about gender did not make it into the Kaminoan education as there was too fucking much else to fit in the timeline. Jedi, similarly, don’t give a fuck and General Windu reminded everyone else that they’re in the middle of a goddamn war, now go flank with your sister.

Able to live authenticly, she thrived, described as a friendly, welcoming to shineys, and warm, a ‘Beacon of Sunshine’ thus her name became Beacon. during the Battle of Dantooine she lost her left leg from the mid-thigh down due to injuries sustained by a seismic attack by the Separatist forces, it has since been replaced with a cybernetic leg that she’s painted to mimic the purple hurrikaine crystal of General Windu’s Lightsaber and has returned to the front lines.

Additional Notes:

Soft-Butch Transfem

Is very q u e e r™

Not a fembo, just strongk.

Eternally in the long hair vs short hair struggle with herself.

She has pursued some more aesthetic procedures such as full-body tattoos that give the illusion of a softer silhouette and makeup. The boys sometimes bring her cool makeup presents.

Always has hair-ties and snacks.

Club Mom™ and Mommy™ when they go out off shift.

Tends to pull more ass than her brothers.

Is an A+ wing-woman tho.

Company’s dedicated New Shiney Specialist.

Will absolutely waste most of the company in arm wrestling.

Doesn’t mind being referred to in the plural of “Brothers/the Boys” but if referring to her specifically, her brothers use “Sister”.

Is the reason there’s a feral colony of Tooka cats in the hanger. You’re welcome Commander, you have pest-control for the low-low price of some kibble and old blankets.

Does not understand Jetti-stuff to save her life but thinks General Windu is a fantastic fighter and that’s what matters.

While she has completely socially transitioned as well as has her marker updated in her legal documentation, she does not wish to pursue medical transition until after the war as she would like to not add additional stress while serving.

ooc: I’ll probably add more to this later. I just love her. She’s the first of my Clone Trooper OCs

#clone wars oc #clone oc #clone trooper oc #star wars oc #sw oc #my artwrok #smols art

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delugguk · 2 years ago

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[4] In the soop | JK

welcome to domestic, soft boyfriend, mini or not so mini jungkook in the soop episodes! ft bam

ㅡsince my mind can't stop spinning with every episode + jungkook's finery,,, I decided to do this! I'll be updating this once in a while so don't be afraid to come and check from time to time ♡.

ㅡI'm not sure how many scenarios I'll write since it really depends, this doesn't have a specific end because I can still write in the future but n-e-ways!! hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think on my lovely ask~

WARNING: 18+ CONTENT.

pair: jungkook x reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut, stand up doggy, peepee slaps pusay, it gets sticky and lowkey messy *wink wink*, creampie?😳 jungkooks so cute :( bam my beloved <3

[more episodes]

EPISODE 4. "fuck, listen to me. I wouldn't like him to wake up."

"ah.. I'm so hungry." jungkook sighed as he rubbed his naked stomach.

tattoos in full display at the very first hours of a saturday morning.

you were used to it.

finishing brushing your teeth, you meet jungkook who's now walking around the counter table cleaning up some trash from yesterday.

"Is bam sleeping now?" you murmur as you quickly approach him but not without affectionately wandering your hands around his back and waist first. It was a must.

"eung." he softly hums. turning his body around so he could have a better focus of your face as you're met with a very adorable puffy face, plump lips and a very messy hair. the way jungkook managed to still remain so pretty in the mornings was a total mystery to you but.. now that you're thinking about it, maybe he's just that gifted. sighs. he must really be, once again, the universe's favorite.

well, he doesn't have whole galaxies in his eyes for nothing, am I right?

"really, that easily?" astonished, soft horizontal wrinkles paint into your forehead as you place your chin upon his chest. "no crying this time?" you ask while pressing your fingers towards each side of his waist, thumbs caressing his skin.

..to shed some light into why you're asking these questions, jungkook doesn't like when bam wakes up earlier. if not, at the same time as him.

jungkook has been waking up extra early these days just to get everything ready for bam as soon as he wakes up. you know, being the good dad that he is. but the thing is.. that whenever he does, bam also does and it's a problem because each time bam follows him, it completely ruins his natural sleeping schedule. not only that but it also makes him develop hunger at such random hours of the night and that's... well, not very convenient for jungkook or.. you.

so like every good dad, he wants bam to rest and wake up at his designed hour. but... with the random times he gets to wake up at night, it's either because he wants to play or go to the bathroom. - jungkook and you were confused at first. asking why was the cause of this but after giving it some thought, you both realized It was because of him waking up at the same time you both did. his schedule was getting so messed up that he even started waking up alone at three or four of the morning. like how crazy is that?! - it was getting hard for the both of you because of course you also wanted to sleep well...

so because of this; you've been trying to help your boyfriend into getting bam his old sleeping schedule's back. but the process of that, mostly consisted on something like this;

jungkook putting all of his super gentle and caring energy into him, only for bam to take advantage of that, giving him those pretty light brown pleading eyes that make jungkook's heart crash every time, but because he knows he can't let his very handsome son to keep living like this collecting these bad habits, with all of his will, he needs to ignore bam's super adorable powers. - but then, that's when he starts crying and jungkook doesn't know another way other than to pretend to sleep just so he could do it too. It worked most of the time but as time passes, bam gets smarter and so he wasn't buying it as much anymore. turns out, bam just loves his dad so much he wants to be with him 24/7 so yeah.. it was also getting hard for jungkook to come up with new ideas but honestly... can you blame him?

so that's why everytime jungkook's plan or yours worked, you both always tried to stay as quiet as possible and it usually worked so it wasn't something very hard to keep butㅡthere were still some days like today where things could get a little.. let's say, complicated.

"mhm.. well," he lowly chuckles. "not that easy. I had to promise him to give him lots of snacks as soon as he wakes up this time." with a silly smile on his face.

poking fun at what he said, you take your chin off his firm naked chest. "of course you said that." followed by a playful slap to his shoulders, turning away from him. or well, trying to because jungkook doesn't let you escape that easily as he tugs your body back into his.

"hm.. where are you going?" he says in undertones, face closer to yours.

"...out?" nonplussed, you proceed to ask him, "aren't we.. making breakfast?"

"eung, you could say so." he says blandly enough, nodding his head very brightly in a unbothered manner. "but first..." just to suddenly change his whole demeanour as he takes you by the waist, pulling your body closer to his. "let me do some things." with one hand traveling down your ass. very softly, very.. delicately.

oh god.

"ohh, hell no!" you scream-whisper, trying to get out of his trap as soon as you remember bam's sleeping.

but jungkook only smiles. wrapping his super strong arms around your waist. "why not?" mumbling with his head buried onto your neck and you can swear you feel him lick his lips.

"what do you mean why not?" you blink, muttering back at him with an expressionless face. "don't you see how hard it is to put bam back to sleep? like do you really want to get through all of that again and lose aaall of your hard work?" with your palms trying to push him away but you just keep on failing. miserably.

jungkook pauses for a few seconds, only to say. "..you know what else is hard?"

but you roll your eyes. "jungkook!" slapping his muscular chest. "weren't you super hungry?"

"super horny too.." he says.. quickly. way too quickly.

you fake cry. "you're insufferable."

jungkook chuckles at that. "come on babe.." with a low tone on his voice, murmuring against your neck once again. just this time leaving slow kisses as he speaks. "I'll make it fast. I can make it fast.. we can make it-"

and you closed your eyes. he was turning you on. not only by his kisses but his hands that were now palming your ass.. "jungkook.. I really don-"

"I know baby but we can keep quiet.." he purrs as he takes one of your legs up and when he has both of them, you're already straddling his waist and It inmediately makes you feel his growing bulge. you can't help but release a gasp that he catches to hear.

slowly grinning to himself, jungkook takes you back to the counter table placing you on top of it. opening your legs as he adjusts his body in betweenㅡmaking no room for you to close them.

his hands start roaming around your soft skin, going up and down your legs as he sensually starts kissing your neck, you're trying not to let any moans out but it's kinda hard when he's touching and teasing you like this.

"can you keep quiet for me, baby?" he purrs against your ear. "or you don't think you could take it.." kisses travelling alongside your lips now. "..is that It?"

with a whisper that lingered pass your lips, you could feel the way his increased breathing drubbed on your skin. he looks irresistible and so because of that, you can't help but take the nape of his neck, leading him in onto your lips. wanting to kiss him so bad, feel him so bad..

you've once again fell into your boyfriend's dangerous trap. fuck.

but he stops, just before you start doing anything.

"If you want to kiss me, I need you to say it." he pauses. "you know how once I get to kiss your pretty lips, this won't stop here."

he lowly says with lidded eyes and you know he's right. knowing him for many years, you know how much jungkook enjoys to just.. kiss. It is something he really loves as it is very intimate for him. It turns him on like no other because he has such a strong connection with you so when he feels it.. he really feels it. very strongly.

so with him not being able to control himself whenever this happened.. you immediately knew the right answer because, damn. you were also as much as a mess, if not the same, for this.

you look deeply into his eyes, taking your lips closer to his. "I want this." then pausing, smiling a little. "very badly." placing a quick peck into his lips.

and as soon as you say that, jungkook's mouth searches for your lips and so you both start kissing very deeply. tongues clashing against each others as they move in sync, jungkook's lips travels below your jaw painting butterfly kisses all over it as his kisses and hands get needier and you can't help but open your legs wide to give him more access and closeness into your body. his hands stroking your bare legs very softly yet so needy.. it's something you loved about him.

always touching you very gently yet deadly.. you swear those little moments always made you get wet so fast.. and you're pretty sure he knows it too by the way his hands slided up your legs the same time he gingerly bits onto your skin and shoulders. a smile always formed along jungkook's face everytime a little moan escaped from your lips and for the way you seemed to clutch your hands over his big body. it makes him know just how much you also want him.

softly touching the hem of your shirt, he takes a step back pulling it off from you as you put your hands up. skin totally bare, you're only left with a cute little white panty that it actually marked how wet you were, given to its (now) transparent fabric that helped expose yourself the more you opened your legs for him to see.

"fuck.." he exhales. "no bra and a soaked panty?" he mischievously stared at you. "you must like me a lot.." he teases.

"no shit, why do you think I've been with you this long?" you found the way to fight back. but that just makes jungkook's smirk grow even more.

"Is that so?" he bites his lips as he slowly moisturizes them with his tongue.

pulling your legs by your ass so you could feel how hard his evident growing dick felt like, he wanted to tease you. cause some sort of friction because oh yeah, he was enjoying this a lot. "you make me crazy, but it seems like you want me to really lose it." he groans between your lips.

but it doesn't last long as soon as he's already leaving traces of kisses to your collabones down to your chest. - finding your cute boobs, his lips meet your very erect nipples. warm lips closing around it; licking, pulling and flicking.. his tongue went crazy with it as one of his fingers played with your clothed, still very wet clit.

you couldn't help but want more from him so what you do isㅡstart swinging your hips back and forth every time his fingers moved.

you were getting desperate and so was he.

watching you move like that made jungkook wrap his teeth against his lower lip. wanting to kiss your pretty lips once again and so that's what he does.

feeling up his body while kissing, jungkook hands weren't any different from yoursㅡthe moment getting so intense, both of your breathings deteriorated by each passed second.

so just before you could say anything to your very horny boyfriend, he said. "turn around for me." with a very deep, raspy moan that resonated through your whole body the very moment his words reached your ears.

his soft steamy kisses, burning your skin as he says so, you feel like you could explode. feeling so wanted by him. - you inmediately knew what he wanted the moment he opened his pretty mouth and to be honest? you can't fucking wait.

"are you sure?" but first, you breathe while looking down on his swollen red lipsㅡyou still want to make sure because you know how messy or loud this could get.

but jungkook doesn't respond. decided into just taking action of his desires, he kisses you one more time before making his own way to manhandle you back into putting both your legs down to turn you around. ass exposed to him, god damn it he adored this view.

"if I say I want you to turn around, that's exactly what you do, princess." he deeply purrs into your ear. sliding a hand below the fabric, gripping your bare ass with a tiny, little slap on it with his hand still lingering beneath it so he wouldn't cause too much noise.

"your heard me, baby?" he pecks your neck and you naturally arch your back into him. slightly opening your legs.

god, you just wanted your panties off right now. the urge and ache on your clit getting unbearable. you just wanted him to touch you.

noticing your little movement, jungkook chuckles to himself. but no after you start rubbing your ass against his joggers. feeling his clothed dick that way, you were actually trying to take your panties off that way.

"if you want to take this.." jungkook starts speaking while pulling the soaked fabric aside. rapidly touching your folds with his bare middle finger to then close it back again. "..off," gifting you a little slap on it that makes you actually jumpㅡhe proceeds to hug your body with his dick pressed against your ass as his head lays to your side. "just say the words, baby." purring back again into your ear with a sensual tone this time.

"fuck me-" you moan, with a plead.

"uh-uh, angel.. does aren't the words I want."

trying to move your hips back at him so you could tease his dick and hopefully calm your very pulsating cunt, jungkook is in so deep close to you that is almost impossible to move. mostly because all you have in front of you right now is this stupid table.

little did you know jungkook could actually feel the way your cunt pulsated for him everytime...

defeated, you decide to answer. "take my panties off."

"hm.." jungkook hums. "see how it wasn't so hard?" smirking afterwards.

too bad you can't see.

"shut up" it's all you say and he chuckles.

the moment he removes your white panties, his mouth is left with a gasp as he narrowed his eyes with his eyebrows furrowed and the word 'O' forming on his lips. the sight making him want to destroy you here and there as he mentally cursed himself for not going to another place to fuck you properly but he was so horny and you were so wet that the moment he pulled it off, the thread of arousal was so visible it was hard to tell where did so much liquid came from. having a fight on which thin strand could get unattached first from the cotton fabric.

"fuck, all of this for me?" he croaked, Immediately taking off his black joggers aswell. he did not had anything under it so yeah, dick was jumping the moment he took it off.

teasing your entrance felt like heaven to him. your walls feeling so soft against his length, dick getting soaked so easily.. he swears he could die by how heavily turned on you make him feel. "my fucking demon is always so ready for me." he rasps, giving a few consecutive slaps to your clit with the tip of his bare dick. "guess you'll always want me as much as I always want you huh?" keeping sliding his hard dick between your folds, slowly. teasing to enter but it never does. he was insane.

"don't get too loud, okay?" he stated with a kiss to your neck.

grabbing your waist with one hand he squeezes you very gently to let you know he will penetrate your slit now.

the moment he does, you try hard not to moan letting out a loud sigh instead. legs already shaking, you were waiting for this so bad and like as if it wasn't possible, you also started to get more wet with strands of arousal dropping down your thighs and jungkook wasn't even fully in yet.

yeah, it's been 7 days of you without having sex. It was about time.

"agh- shit. relax baby, you're squeezing me so hard."

"eugn- s-sorry babe, I- I just-" you lean on the counter. chest plastered on it.

"I know angel. open your legs a little more for me hm? I promise I'll give it to you good." he murmurs while taking your ass back into him making you yelp.

"sshh baby, bam.." he warns you.

"I know-" you mutter back to him.

jungkook starts fucking you with slow strokes. noisy, wet strokes and you can't move for the way his hands are grasping into your hips. - pressing both your legs together now, jungkook thrusts into you as you feel him so full and deep inside of you. your back couldn't stop arching to him, your moans were slowly increasing the moment jungkook started heightening his speed. It wasn't much of him going fast, but more like going hard. the way your pussy sounded everytime he slammed his hips towards you turned you on even more, he feels so good, so hard, so big.. fuck. he was truly perfect.

"fuck- baby, can't you keep quiet?" he groans while taking your torso up to him, covering your neck with one of his hands, arching your back, placing your head onto his shoulders, perky nipples bouncing as he tries to play with them with his other hand and one of your legs resting on top of the counter as you could feel the way his balls slapped against your clit as he pounded into you.

"maybe if you weren't fucking me like this I'll wouldn't be making so much noise to wake up bam." you manage to say.

"as if you weren't loving it." he responds with a hard thrust and a mischievous look on his face.

"can't fucking deny It." you moan back at him. pushing your chest back into the counter so you could move with him.

jungkook's so horny he also moans but it's still not so loud for likeㅡto wake up bam and to be honest at this point, you just wished bam was having a good ass sleep given to how horny the both of you were because it was also getting harder and harder to keep quiet.

grabbing both your buttocks, jungkook opens them up just so he could watch the way your pussy swallowed his juicy dick and indeed, you were taking him so well..

"pussy so good, fuck. I'm in love with you." he exhales and that makes you breathlessly chuckle, he was just saying whatever at this point even thought that was.. very much true.

"fuck.." he hisses. "best fucking pussy in the world." too far too gone, jungkook whispers to himself.

"I'm gonna fucking cum if you keep fucking me back, princess." he forewarn you.

"then do it." but you love to dare him.

"hmm.." he groans. "I really don't want to." he cries.

"then why do you sound so desperate?" you tease, turning your head back glancing at him with a smug face when you know damn well you shouldn't because he can't do anything about it and because jungkook tends to get almost insane when you get like this.

so if you continued.. you're afraid bam will definitely wake up.

so for your.. pussy safesty and bam's sweet dreams, you stop your teasing games (for today) and start moving back for him. still wanting to make him cum.

"come on baby.. don't you want to cum inside of me? hm?" you moan with a very needy tone. the one that makes him weak.

"fuck. stop it right now." he pants.

"huh? you said this will be quick and I really can't stand being in silence anymore." you cry and this time you mean it as in youㅡnot trying to provoke him. "all I want is you cumming hard in me." you continue as your hips push back at him everytime he slammed back into you. "d-don't you want it?"

"you know well I fucking do."

and with that, jungkook takes your leg off the counter, pressing both your legs together again as your cunt tightens around his dick and suddenly your whole world started spinning.

fingers grasping the counter's edges, he pounded on you hard and messy, his big dick glistening, his mouth slightly biting your shoulders connected with sloppy kisses everytime he got closer to you. - your legs were almost floating above the counter with each one of his thrusts, one better than the other.. your stomach and core carrying all of the weight and it's all because of your tight grip.

your moans were starting to sound loud so jungkook wraps a hand around your mouth, shutting them off.

"I'm gounna cium." you mumble against his palm but jungkook surely understands. giving you just what you want.

"shit, shit-" jungkook starts hissing as soon as you do with your walls pulsating around his hard dick. he cums too and he cums hard.

his cum makes a mess round your hole as he keeps thrusting passing throught the euphoric feelings.

pulling out, a waterfall of cum falls down your thighs and jungkook lazily smiles to himself.

both feeling completely out of breath, go one by one in order to clean up. cringing at the sticky feeling once you both were cold enough. - when you're still on the bathroom, jungkook uses this moment to check up on bam, finding him soundly sleeping like the angel he is. jungkook endearingly smiles to himself.

"I can't believe we did it." jungkook whispers as soon as he approaches you.

"huh?" you hum, drying up your face. "what'd you said?"

"bam." jungkook smiles, taking you onto his arms. "he didn't wake up." pinching both of your cheeks very gently.

"really?" you gasp. "we.." then pause. "oh my god we are so good?" crunching your nose, you inmediately laugh. taking care of still not doing it so loud.

jungkook follows your laugh while rolling his eyes.

"you're so silly." he stated as he softy flicked your forehead.

"hey! why are you like this!"

"because I love you."

"ha! I know." you laugh. "you just fucked me before eating first. can you believe that?" you tease him. "like when in all occasions have you ever denied food over a good fuck?"

jungkook rolls his eyes once again, faking being annoyed as he searched for his sandals.

"for that exact same reason." he says. "you are that good fuck. my one and only." he grins, glancing up at your face as he signals you to follow him.

and you do. "you didn't had to get all cheesy now..." you bleat.

he laughs. "why? are you embarrased, huh?" sliding your arms around your chest as he back hugs you walking towards the glass door.

as you don't respond back, he leaves a quick peck to your cheek, before opening the door. "come on, let me make you something delicious." holding your hand.

"suddenly?" you say, entralacing fingers.

"eung." he quickly nods his head. "at the end of the day, you're still one of my best clients when it comes to my food." with a bright smile on his face.

"just one?" you tease, arching one eyebrow. "who's the other one?"

"myself." and he laughs to himself.

you swear you could never take him seriously. but even when he said lame things like these.. you still loved him very much and it's just.. that if he wasn't like this, you wouldnt think you'll be as in love as you are of him.

so that's why you punch his chest. "now you're the silly one."

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eliographics · 3 years ago

Text

//abuse tw, suicide tw, addiction tw

Hi! I'm Lux and I'm an 19-year-old non-binary transmasc person.

Due to the problems listed below, I'm opening writing commissions.

For years, I've been stuck in a toxic household with an emotionally and psychologically abusive mother that frequently indulges in neglect and/or gaslighting.

I need to absolutely escape this because as a result of this bullcrap - I have been developing different mental health issues: I struggling with anxiety attacks, depressive episodes, problems focusing/memorizing/staying motivated, as well as social anxiety.

(I have also happen to have a crippling tech addiction since I was 6)

I have been getting cognitive behavioral therapy for these but recovery is being a bit rockier than anticipated as I can only contact my therapist exclusively online, as well as in secrecy because for my mom has some weird gripe with mental health experts that I have to frustratingly dance around.

My body also doesn't really co-operate either, with scoliosis and scoliosis-related symptoms (muscle/nerve weakness and headaches) giving me hell everyday and physicaltherapy being expensive makes matters worse.

Even though I frequently breakdown thinking about the situation I currently have to live in and on rare occasions even think of suicide but I do know full well that my problems largely pale in comparison to others who have it much worse, so I have decided to offer some service in exchange for money, putting my writing skills to use to put your ideas out there and help scratch any creative itches you may have, so to speak.

I humbly request you to be gentle and reasonable with your orders as I happen to be terribly out of practice at the moment and this is my first time opening writing and translation commissions.

--WRITING COMMISSIONS--

PRICE:

-€1 per every 100 words, all the way up to €10 for 1000 words

GENRES:

They're more like "flavors", to be quite honest.

- Fantasy

- Romance (I prefer LGBTQIA+)

- Comedy

- Slice Of Life

Or any combination of the four

PLEASE PROVIDE:

- Characters and characterization

- Plot/Plotpoints

WILL DO:

//nsfw and kink ment

- Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic.

- Slice of life

- Familial, Platonic, Romantic

Sex and NSFW are allowed as well!

Just DM me and:

1. Give me adequate age verification in DMs.

2. Describe all the kinks and fetishes you'd like. I'll let you know immediately if there are any I feel uncomfortable with.

- OCs

- school/college settings

WON'T DO:

//incest ment, pedophilia ment, abuse ment

× Incestous, pedophilic, abusive/toxic relationships and sex scenes (includes paraphilias)

I'm also gonna have to ask you to not ever interact with me or any human being ever if you support any of these things in any way shape or form, fictional or not.

× Heavy quantities of bigotry and discrimination.

They are very important but I'm not comfortable consistently unpacking such themes in every single order.

× Grimdark

× Dystopia/Bad endings

× Huge amounts of worldbuilding and lore

EXTRA TERMS:

1 commission/week, with frequent communication on status any possible updates

- Personal use allowed, just give credit

--TRANSLATION COMMISSIONS--

PRICING:

- 1€ every 100 words, up to 10€ for 1000 words

TERMS:

- Please provide the source material you want me to translate

All the commission info is on my ko-fi:

PayPal and Ko-Fi:

(COMPLETELY OPTIONAL, think of it as a tip jar)

Emergency/Relief" MoneyPool:

#writing #writing commissions #commissions #mental health #recovery #kink mention #ko fi link #ko fi account #ko fi promo #ko fi donations #ko fi support

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unpopularly-opinionated · 3 years ago

Link

I don’t play WoW but I used to play Overwatch and Diablo and this touches on just the general issues that are inside of Activision Blizzard right now regarding the major decline of World of Warcraft and how they’re losing to Final Fantasy XIV, how if the latest WoW expansion or Overwatch 2 flop as they’re projected to do then Blizzard’s most definitely going to pivot almost entirely to mobile games, and how the differences in age demographics are actually dividing the company into multiple camps.

It’s important to note two things: 1) this could be fake but also 2) the link came from Grummz, a former team lead on WoW and producer on Diablo II and Starcraft. It still could be fake despite this, but if he’s sharing it then I feel like there’s at least some measure of truth in this.

Transcription below in case this gets deleted and/or you don’t wanna click the link. Warning, it’s fairly long.

“I’m dropping this here after getting chewed out for three hours over shit the chewee did at work so fuck it. Assume larp and let me vent.”

>Shadowlands is a shitshow. Critical response, Player drop off and just about every engagement metric outside of cash shop have been catastrophic. No higher up expected this because of their “we are too big to fail, if we built it they will come” mentality. They refuse to accept their focus on the world being a begrudged mechanic to funnel players to raiding is not appealing to the player base at large because it appeals to them. They have spent the last 4 months trying to course correct but there is no solid direction and the response to 9.1 has only made things worse.

>Sylvanas is planned to replace the Arbiter despite so many people in the company and god knows how many online saying this would be a total replication of Kerrigans storyline in Starcraft 2 that killed none competitive interest in the brand entirely and you can only go “no, no they WILL like it eventually” for so many real world years before its time to change course. Thus far that has not happened.

>The elephant in the room is FFXIV. To the people in charge they are acting like this came out of nowhere and don’t even seem to understand why its drawing players away in their tens of thousands. We have all tried to highlight things it is doing that are clearly appealing to an mmo audience and not, in my opinion, focussing more on mobile game style retention traps to keep MAU users and habit forming personalities logging in. Its not that they don’t care. They just seem so pig headed and digging their heels in with their fingers in their ears thinking all the problems will go away because WoW is “too big to fail”, there will never be real competition and “they will keep coming back”. But they aren’t coming back anymore. Not in the numbers they used to.

>The people making the spending choices know this. The new model for WoW is market the hell out of a expansion pack for a huge quarter then use 6 month lock ins to pad numbers for the quarters after that. Even if corona had not happened 9.1 still would have been dropping after the initial 6 month subs expired to “keep the chain holding”.

>The mood in the company is tense but also very much “its just a rough transition period”. Activision has been pushing hard for Blizzard to release more regular product and to generate more income per user. As far as i know this is going to be a transition over the next 5 years to a much larger mobile/tablet gaming focus. By all accounts not just WoW but Overwatch was intended to be the moneymaker in the interim but once again someone had the bright idea to kill a game casual players loved on the alter of e-sports hoping for another Brood War. From what i hear the “told you so’s” were loud and a lot of people walked beyond Kaplan.

>The sentiment that was shared quietly in private but being spoken more often is simply that the leadership at Blizzard are not bad people, nor incompetent people but people who had to fill seats left when the old guard jumped ship wether they were suited for it or not. Brack is a genuinely good man out of his depth, Ion is a fantastic raid designer put in charge of designing a virtual world he has no interest or real ideas for and so on. They have been taking form the roles they excel at to be put in positions where they get to do far less of that purely because there is nobody left with the experience to do so and the trickle down is a lack of concrete direction, ambition and focus.

>2021 has seen the playerbase, media and gaming at large “turn” on WoW to a degree i don’t think the leads in their “positivity dojo” bubble considered possible. Its gone from people going “This is how Blizz needs to fix WoW!” to “WoW is no longer salvageable, time for greener pastures” and i think on some level this was never considered as a possibility so there have never been any major plans beyond the usual “try and minimise player drop off by arranging releases around competitors launching updates/products”. The official forums being filled with talk of FFXIV and worse “why do we actually pay a sub?” hasn’t helped.

>There have been some testing the waters lately from certain higher ups if we can remove the line “No King Rules Forever”. Read into that what you will.

>There are still arguments going on about the Kael’thas Voice actor shitshow. I don’t know much about it but i know its heated, wouldn’t be the first time a knee jerk reaction only seemed to generate bad press. We lost a noticeable amount of pvp engagement after the Swifty thing.

>The Preach interview was treated as a disaster and there was talk of more strongly vetting interviewers for “bad actors” and only engaging with a list of questions Blizzard provides. Some pointed out that could just be used to create some form of Fireside Chat akin to the FFXIV “Live letters” but that fell on deaf ears.

>The two sentiments right now among the team are either “we really need a win” or “theres a dedicated cabal of internet trolls out to kill WoW”. Right now we are crunching hard to get 9.2 ready to wrap up the jailors storyline so we can get an expansion out early 2022. If that doesn’t happen there are talks of major shakeups coming down from Activision that have been threatened for a few years now. Its an all hands on deck feeling thats been around to some degree since the “Is this an out of season April Fools Joke” Blizzcon. A make or break deadline is coming closer and things like Diablo 4 were not planned before then. Blizzard needs a significant win not just in initial profit but consumer goodwill. Nobody likes working at what the public now seems to see as “the bad guy” of the mmo industry.

>This has also made new hires decline. Not significantly but the “you WANT Blizzard on your resume” line doesn’t seem to have the appeal it used to. This has lead to more hiring via friend of a friend, to some rumblings about nepotism, and people severely lacking in experience “because they get great twitter optics”.

>On the topic of Twitter we are not being told to “disengage” from it. Multiple employees like Nervig and Holisky publicly attacking paying customers because they got too heated and couldn’t keep quiet is bad press that could have been avoided. A email reminder has gone around more than once lately stating “if you are not customer relations you should not be representing the company to customers, especially if you cannot remain professional”.

>Lastly the biggest elephant in the room is “yo’ boy” Asmongold. The newer hires cannot stand him. They have used terms like “toxic masculinity” and “dogwhistles to dangerous males” while some of the oldest crowd still remaining have called him “based” or “telling it like it is” which has lead to friction to put it mildly. People are told not to talk about him and the recent FFXIV stuff only made it all worse. The idea that an outside element can have such an effect on the product genuinely upsets people. Like Zach is engaging in some malicious act of cyberwarfare. Many of us have point out the now famous quotes by Naoki Yoshida about understanding that players will drift and we need to make something worth coming back to because they want to but some people for lack of a better word see out customers -or “consumers” as they refer to them nowadays- as some kind of antagonistic relationship where the goal is not being an entertainer putting on a show for a crowd but some kind of game hunter trying to trap a large, profitable kill. I wish i could blame Activision but this is a sentiment from more of the younger crowd than the “tech boomers”. Which personal opinion is probably why so many folks like Metzen and Morheim left.

>Before you ask, yes the topic of “wokeness” has shown up in group talks. Its not all some grand sjw conspiracy, people really do want to feel welcome and represented. However the “we need everything veto’ed by people not working on it to see if its inoffensive and bland enough” rubs some of us the wrong way. Like anything in life you can take something too far and lose sight of the core ideals and with everything gone on since Blitzchung it feels like people are forming little factions to pull people in different directions to decide “What Blizzards identity is now” and how to appeal to new players. There has been some drop offs with “go woke go broke” as the only answer in the survey when unsubbing but honestly we are losing subs in unforseen numbers anyway and still making more money than ever through cash shop “heavy users” so it honestly doesn’t make an impact.

>All in all things are rough right now. Blizzard doesn’t have the love of the customers anymore, is no longer treated as an industry giant and while D4,D2R and Immortal aren’t going to kill Diablo even if they fail the sentiment for World of Warcraft and Overwatch 2 are a lot more tense and stressful. The phrase “it might be good to brush up on your mobile development portfolio if we get another underperformer” has been doing the rounds a lot. If Shadowlands continues its stark decline and Overwatch 2 is looking to underperform like its current projections suggest i think the Blizzard of a few years from now will be imitating King a lot more than trying to learn any lessons from Square Enix’s mmo division.

#random #video games #Blizzard #Activision #WoW #World of Warcraft #Diablo #Overwatch #Starcraft #Activision Blizzard

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anightflower · 4 years ago

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Come and Find Me

Chapter Two: Paint It Black

Hello Loves! Just to let everyone know, my chapters go from flashbacks to present day! Thank you all for sticking with me and I am sorry this chapter is posted a bit late!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Gore, violence, swearing

Read Chapter One Here

He had spent several hours outside your window, trying to figure out the next phase of his plan. But once the Doctor had arrived and swept you into his arms, he had decided to go home. Not back to his apartment, that was the place he resided. His home was a place nobody could know about.

It was a place for only him and his mentor Drew.

He walked into the kitchen to find Drew cleaning up his knives. “Hey little brother, out with your girl again?” Drew asked with a mischievous smile.

Little brother was Drew’s nickname for the boy, they weren’t blood-related, but being 7 years younger than Drew, he had taken the boy under his wing.

“Yeah, until her stupid fucking doctor came.” the boy replied.

“Don’t worry about the Doctor, your time will come.” Drew reassured. “Come, sit, I just finished up making dinner.”

The boy sat down, pushing aside Drew’s papers so he had space to eat.

“Ah, ah,ah, you’re going to want to look at those. Those papers contain all the fun things you need to know. I’m not teaching you all of this for nothing huh?” Drew smiles, placing the papers back in front of the boy, alongside a bowl of stew.

“Do you really think this will work?” The boy asked, glancing over Drew’s explicitly written notes.

“Don’t worry little brother, this whole thing is trial and error.” Drew reassured. “Don’t be intimidated I’ve had this whole thing planned for a while and she won’t be the first, she can be our finale-” Drew was interrupted by a scream. He rolled his eyes. “Goddamnit, this bitch just never shuts up. I wanted to surprise you with her, but now she spoiled it.”

The boy gave Drew a curious look. Drew chuckled. “Come on little brother I will show you.” Drew led the boy down to their basement. “After she’s gone, I’ll soundproof the basement better. I just needed an idea of how loud these whores will scream.”

The color drained from the boy’s face as his gaze fell on the woman. She was tied to Drew’s metal table, she looked like one of the frogs that the Boy had to set up for dissection for Professor Irving’s class, except she was very much alive, and slightly bloodied.

“Meet trial number one little brother, she looks quite like your girl huh? I think all of em’ should just so you can be prepared for your finale with her.” Drew turned to the Boy. “Surprise.”

“How long has she been missing?” the Boy asked, panicked. How could Drew not warn him? “Relax, like I said she’s trial one. Just a corner whore, no one will even notice she is gone. The next one will be the real challenge, I want to find one exactly like your girl and I already found her, this one we will just pump and dump. Did you get those chemicals from your professor like I asked?”

The Boy nodded “It all in my backpack.” The Boy couldn’t drag his eyes away from the girl on the table. Yes she had your hair and eye color, but she was a hideous thing compared to you. A mere whore could never compare to you. “If she’s a whore I don’t want to touch her. I’ll try the next one.”

Drew huffed. “Fine, you only have to watch this time virgin boy. But next time, I expect you to be hands on. I’m not doing all this work for nothing.”

The Boy’s face was emotionless the whole time he watched Drew, even when the blood spurted, even when the girl looked at him, pleading for help. Even when she stopped breathing and the chemicals he brought were used to melt her flesh.

The Boy felt nothing.

________________________________________________________________

There was an extra flounce to your step as you made your way to your favorite cafe. Maybe it was because you had successfully hired a few new employees to help your company flourish, maybe it was because one of them had already settled a new deal in Ohio, or maybe it was because you knew Spencer was coming back from a case today.

Hell, you had just had a fantastic day and you needed to update Ava and grab your favorite mocha latte to top it off. And maybe it was your 4th coffee of the day, but so what?

Your face lit up even more when you saw Ava. “Hello my darling best friend.” You said causing Ava to grin.

“Hey there babe, what’s got you so preppy today?” Ava asked.

“Well, let’s see; I hired 3 new employees who already are fantastic, one of which already booked us a design job in Ohio. Oh and my superhero hot boyfriend is coming home from a case tonight.” You grinned.

Ava rolled her eyes. “I still can’t believe you told him I call him that. I wanted to dissolve into the floor and simultaneously kick your ass.” She laughed. “As for the new employees, are any of them hot? Single? Oh and Ohio is good I guess.”

You giggled. “Well Thomas is incredibly handsome, but I am afraid his soon to be husband might want to have a word with you if you try anything. As for the other two, Aiyla and May, I think you’ll find them stunning and single.”

Ava wiggled her eyebrows. “Don’t tempt me girl, you know I swing both ways. Anyway, grab a seat, I’ll grab your coffee and bring it out to you. I get off early today so we can actually talk to each other rather than me hopping back and forth between the counter. James gets to hold down the fort with Emma and the newbie Jane today.”

“Well, maybe Jane will help him get out of his shell.” You hoped. Ava shrugged.

“Maybe, anyway, Ohio?” Ava questioned.

“Oh! Yes. My new minions are sketching our designs as we speak. The company is called Ohio technological, a very original name yes-” You said as Ava snorted. “But they’re trying to create an office space like Google, however I am going to one up that and add my own spin to it. Also your girl has a fantastic budget from this company and I am being paid bank!” You squealed.

Ava squealed with you, grabbing your hands and squeezing them tight. “(Y/N) that’s fantastic! I am so proud of you girl, you’ve been working so hard on this and I am so glad it’s all working out.”

“There is one downside though.” You said with a sigh. “I have to get my plans to them by next week and once they approve of them, I have to head to Ohio for three weeks. After that I will just have Thomas overlook the project and tie up any loose ends. Either him or I will have to fly down and check in on the progress every couple weeks until then.”

“Could be worse though.” Ava shrugged.

“That’s true, but Spencer and I have been dating for almost 3 months and half the time we can’t see each other. I’m worried that the distance will ruin us.” You confessed.

Ava's face went completely serious and she grabbed your arm gently. “(Y/N, I have never seen a boy more in love with you. You have never seemed happier in your life. You two will make it work I promise. You’re both so in love it makes me sick.” You snorted out a laugh and Ava smirked.

“Like I said, if he has a brother-”

“AVA.” You groaned.

_______________________________________________________________

The boy burst through the door, startling Drew.

“Yo, what the fuck man?” Drew hissed.

“She’s leaving. Fuck, fuck, fuck Drew. She’s leaving.” The Boy slammed the door shut, he leaned against it and slid down, hiding his face in his hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey little bro, take a breath, what happened?” Drew came over and pushed the boy’s hands away from his face.

“She’s leaving me Drew. For three weeks! She’s going to Ohio for THREE WEEKS. 21 days, almost a month! I won’t see her and when I do she will probably be with that goddamn doctor! What do I do?” The boy cried.

“That fucking whore, it’s like she knows she’s making you suffer. She’s probably reveling in it. Don’t worry. While she’s gone, we will perfect our craft and get you ready. Then when she comes back you’ll strike.”

Drew reassured the Boy, pulling him in for a hug.The Boy pulled away, dragging an arm across his tearful eyes.

“You promise?”

“I swear it.” Drew growled.

________________________________________________________________

Present Day

“Garcia what did you find?” Reid asked, pleading that it would be a reliable lead.

“Something that you won’t really like Reid.” Garcia said seriously, her usually bouncy personality was flat. “Something about your gift irked me, I couldn’t put my finger on it at first, but then I remembered; the Curtis case.”

Spencer’s heart fell into his stomach. The Curtis case had happened a few months after Spencer had started dating you. It had happened right here in Quantico, which terrified Spencer, especially since you fell perfectly under the unsubs victimology; 20-30 year old females with (Y/C/H) and (Y/E/C), successful middle class women who lived alone for one reason or another. You had luckily been out of town for a business trip at the time, working on an office design for a company in Ohio.

Spencer remembered a phone call he had with you one night during the case. He had called you after finding yet another dead victim, raped and torn to pieces, whore scribbled all over their wall in their blood. It had made him sick, because all he could picture was you in their place.

It was late when he called you, but he had just needed to hear your voice and know you were okay. “Hi baby, are you alright?” Your voice was sleepy, but concerned, you had kept up with the news and had heard about the horrible murders going on while you were gone.

“Not really, but I just needed to hear your voice. There’s a sick selfish part of me that is so glad that you aren’t here (Y/N). All of these girls look so much like you-” Spencer paused, you could hear the tears in his voice. “I just am so glad you are safe, I don’t think I could focus as well on this case if I knew you could possibly be in danger.”

“Aw Spencer, I am so sorry baby. You aren’t sick or selfish for wanting me to be safe, everyone focuses on the safety of those they love, it’s only human. I know you are going to catch this guy, you are the most brilliant man and agent I have ever met. Just don’t tell your team I said that, I don’t want a bad reputation before they even meet me.” You teased, trying to lighten his dark mood.

It had worked slightly as you heard him let out a small laugh followed by a sniffle. “Listen Spence, I can stay here a bit longer if it will help you focus, but when I come home I am taking self-defense classes and such. I want you to have a sane mind knowing that your girlfriend actually can handle herself. I honestly think it will help me keep sane too, after hearing everything about this case.”

Spencer paused and thought for a second, part of him wanted you as far away as possible, while the other part just wanted you in his arms. “I appreciate you considering me, but I want the ultimate decision to be made by you Princess, I trust your judgement and I don’t want you living your life based on my fear.”

You breath caught in your throat at the sentiment. “I love you Spencer Reid.”

“I love you more (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” A true smile beamed across his face, you guys had never said that to one another before and it meant just as much over the phone as it would in person.

Spencer flashed back to the present. “Andrew Curtis is in jail right now with three life sentences, how could this have anything to do with his case?”

Garcia cringed a bit, “His calling card.” The words hit Spencer like a ton of bricks, how could he have not seen it before?

The gift box, the red bow, the eyes scratched out of the picture, that was exactly what Curtis had sent to his victims before they were attacked by him. Most of the women had thought it was a prank, a way to scare them into submission, they were incredibly wrong.

“So what could it be, a copycat?” Emily asked.

“That is a possibility, they are using the exact same delivery company Andrew Curtis used, I found this on the security footage.” Garcia pulled up an image of a man wearing a uniform; it was a hideous orange color with the words “Swiftly Delivered” on it, khaki shorts, and white tennis shoes.

“You think the company would have shut down or at least redesigned their hideous uniform after all the association with Curtis.” Emily mumbled.

“Well, I think in this case it’s lucky they didn’t, that way we could easily find the connection.” JJ said.

“How could something like that have gotten cleared by security?” Rossi wondered aloud. “You think someone would have possibly recognized it, the case is still pretty fresh.”

“Well, the box had no threat, no weapons, they must have just scanned it and sent it through. Alyssa was the one who brought it up with the rest of the mail. She said nothing seemed off about it when she brought it up, she just thought it was someone who was sweet on our pretty boy.” Morgan explained.

“Everyone is just so invested in my love life that we miss obvious clues.” Spencer growled frustrated.

“Well, at least we have a lead.” Hotch interrupted. “JJ, Morgan, I need you guys to head over to Swiftly Delivered. Ask them about their past customers and see if they can remember our unsub. Emily, you and Reid head over to (Y/N)’s apartment and see if you can find anything. Rossi and I are going over to talk to Curtis.”

“Hotch, I need to talk to Curtis.” Reid protested. “If he knows anything about (Y/N)-”

“No Reid. You know (Y/N)’s apartment better than anyone. You will notice if anything is wrong.” Hotch explained sternly.

“Hotch-” Reid argued.

“No. I don’t trust Curtis, he seemed too interested during his original case. If he knows something, I can’t have him getting under your skin. Reid’s head fell in defeat. “But-” Reid’s head shot back up. “If you guys finish before us. Meet us at the prison.” Hotch ordered.

Hope filled Reid’s eyes.

TAGLIST

@andiebeaword @haylaansmi @parkastoria @possessedjoker @amronsparty @generaltheoristexpert @sierraraeck @coniumalces @tamedbyafox @anotherr-fine-mess @adoregin @rainsong01 @canyonnmoonn @mggshoe @boxofsparklingmuses @richardpapensmuse @deanlenaz @rainsong01 @goldentournesol @annesauriol @itsametaphorbriansblog @secretpickleprofessordean @shameleswhorehourstm @stepsofthefbi @iifloweringnightsii

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #come and find me #anightflowerwrites

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destiniesfic · 4 years ago

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i hate everybody (but maybe i don’t) 1/3

This is my @jurdannet & @jurdannetrevels Secret Snusband gift for @sevenfreckles-for-sevenloves! You tapped into a story I’d been wanting to write for ages, so you get three parts and three POVs (Vivi, Cardan, and Jude). Happy Holidays, I hope you like it. ♥ Thanks to @xdarkofthemoon for betaing!

This fic is rated E. Content warnings this chapter for excessive alcohol consumption, references to alcoholism, and (prescribed) antidepressant use.

Read on AO3 or read below:

Bars in Barcelona are not especially different from bars in the US. It’s a discovery Vivi has made over the course of her study abroad tenure: everything is different on the outside, but on the inside, not so much. She does like the outsides, though. She likes the tidy streets, the way the buildings don’t rise to blot out the sun as they have a habit of doing in American downtowns. She likes the cozy sameness of the facades, broken by the whimsical surprise of the odd Gaudí contribution. Like a lot of the European cities she’s visited there seems to be some unifying design principle, some common understanding. At home it’s anyone’s guess what the next office building or apartment complex might look like, a mishmash of styles as the cities clamor to reinvent themselves, modernist or postmodernist or deconstructionist or whatever.

Heather could name them all, if Heather were here.

But Heather isn’t here. Tonight, Vivi is out on the town with her two younger half-sisters, Jude and Taryn. Her twin baby sisters, although they hate it when she calls them that. The twins’ spring breaks overlapped by happy accident, so their adoptive dad, Vivi’s biological father, had sent them off on an all-expenses-paid Barcelona trip for a mini family reunion.

Taryn had been thrilled to go out. “I’m so excited that we can drink here,” she’d exclaimed, as she touched up her makeup in the AirBnB’s living room mirror. It’s a two-bed, two-bath apartment with an updated kitchen and certainly beats the dorms. Vivi was forced to give a silent, resentful thanks, Dad, but not out loud.

“You drink at home,” Jude reminded her from the bathroom, where she was trying to wrangle her hair into some style Taryn had sent her from Pinterest. “We have fake IDs.”

“It’s not the same,” Taryn had huffed, applying another coat of mascara. Vivi got that. It had not been the same when they came to Europe before, either, because they had been with Madoc, Oriana, and little Oak. Somehow parents at the table makes the glass of wine with dinner much less daring.

Jude had eventually settled on a high ponytail, and off they went.

Now they’re out at a bar not far from the AirBnB, with each of the twins perched on stools and Vivi leaning against the bar between them. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t seen them for so long except over FaceTime, but Vivi is shocked to notice that her little sisters aren’t kids anymore. They haven’t been little for a while, not since they overtook Vivi in height when they were twelve, but it’s one thing to not be little and another to be an adult. Taryn, who’s been yearning for adulthood since her tweens, finally looks more at home in the role. And Vivi doesn’t know how Taryn got Jude into that dark purple halter dress, which dips low in the front and lower in the back, but the way she wears that and her lipstick is a stark reminder that Vivi’s sisters are in fact nineteen, and no longer chubby, soft-faced children. It’s weird, and Vivi doesn’t like it.

Vivi gets hit on sometimes—with her undercut and piercings, mostly by “alternative” men and curious women—but the novelty of good-looking twins means Jude and Taryn shouldn’t need to pay for their own drinks. And they wouldn’t, except anytime a guy gets too close to Jude or Taryn, Jude adopts a laser-eyed glare and says, “No,” which is thankfully the same in both languages. Otherwise she might start speaking with fists.

“I don’t know why you won’t let us get free drinks,” Taryn pouts.

“The drinks are on Madoc,” Jude points out, nodding to the credit card Vivi puts back in her pocket. “They’re basically free.”

Taryn mutters, “It’s the principle of the thing.”

“You guys are such sisters,” Vivi says, taking a swig of beer.

“What does that mean?” they demand in unison.

Vivi grins and closes her eyes, shaking her head. For a second she just stands there, between the twins, and lets everything wash over her: the sibling bickering, the pungent smell of beer and whatever syrup is in Jude’s cocktail, and the music. Music is a strange experience in bars here. First there’s a Spanish song Vivi’s never heard, and then there’s Halsey, crooning over a Chainsmokers beat, and then back to Spanish with perennial favorite “Despacito.” It’s total whiplash. Vivi loves it.

It’s only because she’s listening so hard that she hears Taryn give a tiny gasp.

Vivi opens her eyes. Jude has gone very, very still. Her shoulders, which had been hunched up around her ears as she leaned over the bar, roll down her back, and the muscles there tense. Vivi is not sure Jude is remembering to breathe. She and Taryn are both staring at some fixed point across the bar, so Vivi looks too.

“Oh, hell,” she says.

On the other side of the bar—of the small space they are all crammed into—are four familiar figures. Three boys, one girl. Vivi has to blink to place them, because it seems absurd that four kids they went to high school with would show up in Spain while they, the Duarte sisters, are also in Spain, and also because they weren’t in Vivi’s grade. She knows them, though. Everyone knows Cardan Greenbriar and his trio of hot, mean friends, but Vivi knows them particularly well because of how her sisters have tangled with them over the years.

Taryn whispers, “What are they doing here?”

“I can go ask,” Vivi sighs. That group of kids has no quarrel with her. She and Cardan were friendly back in the day, meaning “ten years ago when Vivi would go hang out with Cardan’s older sister.”

“No,” Jude says, voice firm. Without taking her eyes off the interlopers, she picks up her cocktail and downs the rest of it.

Vivi doesn’t know exactly what happened, but Jude shed her fight-or-flight response sometime in high school. Now, she only has a fight response. Maybe Vivi took her flight response, because it was Vivi who was the terror until she turned eighteen, when she got the hell out of dodge. Taryn has always been in the middle, trying to keep the peace.

“We can go somewhere else,” Taryn suggests.

“No,” Jude repeats, setting her glass down on the bar a little too hard. “I’m not going to let those jerks keep me from having a good time.”

“Which I respect, and more power to you, but also, like, there are plenty of bars in Barcelona,” Vivi points out.

Jude glares. “I’m fine.” And then she holds up one finger in the bartender’s direction.

“You know those are really alcoholic, right?” Taryn says. Worry begins to seep into her voice like melting snow through cracks in a sidewalk.

“I know my limits.”

Vivi and Taryn exchange a wary glance. Jude might know her limits, but she has no problem blowing past them. Jude may not think Vivi remembers the tae kwon do tournament she sat through when Jude was eleven and Vivi was thirteen, but oh, Vivi does. Vivi remembers how her sister volunteered to spar until she had tired herself out to the point where she could no longer stand. Vivi also remembers Jude driving to school on a single hour of sleep after staying up to finish an extra credit essay in a class where she already had an A. Jude somehow didn’t crash her car, but she had been unbearable the entire day. Jude is a danger to herself and very occasionally a menace to society.

But Jude is also an adult and it’s not Vivi’s business.

“Suit yourself,” Vivi says, with a shrug. “It’s dear old Dad’s money.”

A few minutes later, Jude is nursing her second cocktail, and Vivi and Taryn are trying to carry on a conversation as though everything is fine. Any normal person would be well loosened up by now, but Jude retains that unnatural stillness like a dog who’s noticed a squirrel on the other side of a yard. Or, more accurately, maybe like a deer who’s spotted a human hunter approaching over the ridge.

Jude is no defenseless herbivore, but Vivi knows half a lifetime of being bullied has made her feel like a target.

“Hey,” Vivi says, jostling Jude with her elbow.

“What?”

“Tell me about your freshman year misadventures. Taryn won’t open up.”

Jude snorts. “What misadventures?”

“You have to have a few,” Vivi says. “I didn’t raise my sisters to be boring.”

“You didn’t raise us at all,” Jude mutters at her cocktail.

Vivi has never seen her sister anywhere near drunk before and is not sure she likes her like this. “What about boys?” she asks, gently elbowing Jude again. Then she raises her eyebrows. “Girls?”

“No. Nobody.” Jude finishes her second drink and, glaring across the bar, apparently makes the decision to switch to shots. “Vivi, is vodka still ‘vodka’ in Spanish?”

“I’m not answering that.” Vivi sighs. “What about you, Taryn? Anybody?”

“Huh? Um, no.” Taryn had been looking at their erstwhile schoolmates too. One of the boys, the redhead, is looking back. Locke. Vivi exhales. Bad news. There’s history there, the kind of history that shouldn’t repeat.

“Reeeeally?” she asks. “Nobody? Not one boy?”

Taryn blinks back to herself. “Vivi, I go to school for fashion design. They’re all gay.”

“Well, that can be fun.” Vivi gestures at herself. God, she wishes her sisters had brought Heather along. The hot lady bartender with the gorgeous tattoo sleeve keeps trying to catch her eye, and Vivi and Heather had established a “what happens in Barcelona stays in Barcelona” policy before she left, but Vivi doesn’t want a hot lady bartender. She wants her girlfriend.

“Yeah, they’re cool.” Taryn glances back across the bar. Now the blue-haired girl—Nicasia, Vivi recalls—is looking back, along with Locke. Not good.

Since Jude is negotiating for a shot of vodka with hot lady bartender in competent enough Spanish, Vivi lowers her voice and asks Taryn, “Are you feeling especially homesick?”

“We’ve kept in touch.” Taryn doesn’t meet her eyes.

Vivi would hold more of a grudge if someone had tried to sleep with her and her sister, but that’s very much not her circus or her monkeys. She asks, “Did you know he’d be here?”

Taryn shakes her head. “He said they were doing a European tour for spring break, but, like, it’s a big continent.”

“Good news,” says Jude, holding up a shot glass. “It’s vodka in both languages. Cheers.”

“You are going to be sick,” Taryn says.

Jude gives her a sarcastic shrug and then downs the shot. She coughs a little, which somewhat ruins the impression she’s trying to make, but swallows it all down.

“Jude,” Vivi says, beginning to worry, “we really can just leave.”

But Jude is looking at her old high school nemeses again. Cardan had been a particular thorn in her side, or he in hers; Vivi never made sense of that conflict, of who had started what. What she does know is that they’ve definitely been spotted now. The blond boy—Vivi doesn’t quite remember his name—seems to make a move to walk over to them, but Cardan reaches out and grabs his arm, shaking his head. Valentine? Valentino? looks sour, but doesn’t approach. Jude stares them both down.

“I have to use the bathroom,” Taryn announces. “El baño.” Taryn had taken French in high school.

“But—” Vivi begins.

Taryn has already vanished into the crowd. Vivi puts her elbows on the bar and cradles her head in her hands. “This is all going great.”

“Not how you pictured our night out on the town?” asks Jude, who has obtained another shot of vodka from God knows where.

“Yeah, not really.”

“Well, I can fix it.” Jude drinks her second shot and does not cough this time. “I’m going to go talk to them.”

Vivi picks up her head. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“So what?”

“Dad’s going to hold me responsible if anything happens to you.”

Jude fixes a level stare on her. “Dad never holds you responsible for anything,” she says. She slips a little when she gets up off her stool. Vivi wonders if she’s really thinking about fighting someone in those heels.

“You’re mean drunk,” Vivi tells her, trying to grab her arm. “Don’t go.”

“I’m mean sober, but nobody notices,” says Jude, which doesn’t make any sense. She shakes Vivi off. “Besides, I have a few things I want to say.”

And for the second time that night, Vivi watches as one of her sisters pushes her way into the crowd of people, unsure if she should follow or not. Maybe it’ll be good for Jude, in the end, to get some of this out of her system.

The guys across the room are watching Jude approach. Cardan especially. The blond guy is sneering, but Cardan watches Jude with the same strange stillness with which she’d watched him. Like he’s holding his breath until she gets there. Unlike Jude, he doesn’t seem that drunk at all, which Vivi notices because, well, it’s a rare day that Cardan Greenbriar isn’t drunk.

But he is too busy watching her and not his blond friend, who decides that he’s going to intercept Jude before she can even reach Cardan. He pushes over to her first and bars her way, and although Vivi is too far away to hear what’s said between them, she notices the squaring of Jude’s shoulders and the widening of the blond guy’s sneer. Because she is watching closely, she sees that Valerian is the one who shoves Jude first.

Valerian. That’s his name.

It clicks right before Jude punches him in the face.

The bar erupts. Cardan springs to his feet and tries to pull his friend away from Jude. A couple of nearby patrons try to save Jude from herself—Vivi could have told them it was a fool’s errand—by holding her back, not knowing Jude has sharp elbows. Valerian struggles hard and manages to break away from Cardan, only to find himself being grabbed by more pairs of hands. There is shouting in Spanish. Even the hot lady bartender is drawn away, trying to signal her coworkers.

The most Vivi-like thing to do would be to leave Jude to it and keep her nose clean. But Vivi remembers asking Madoc on the day of that fateful tae kwon do tournament, while they revived Jude with sips of Gatorade, why Madoc hadn’t stopped Jude when it became clear she was flagging. “Your sister needs to learn for herself when to stop fighting,” he’d said. “If I make those calls for her, she never will.”

Vivi has a lot of qualms with Madoc’s parenting style, and Taryn is nowhere to be found.

“Oh, hell,” Vivi says again, and she dives into the knot of drunk brawlers to pull her sister from the fray.

---

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out,” Vivi says.

Jude, drunk, hapless Jude, is sitting on the curb with her head between her knees, presumably trying not to barf. There’s still enough anger left in her to flip Vivi off.

“Unbelievable.” Vivi folds her arms and looks left, then right. It seems like a good quarter of the bar spilled out onto the sidewalk with them, a crowd of people chattering about what just happened. Forget kicked out, Jude’s lucky she wasn’t arrested. “Do you see Taryn anywhere?”

“What do you think?”

Vivi pinches the bridge of her nose. Taryn will be fine. She has the AirBnB address and a phone she can use on WiFi. Besides, as far as Vivi knows, she ran off with Locke. Vivi hasn’t seen the two of them come out of the bar yet, and she would not be surprised. She knows a bad decision when she sees one.

“You keep sitting down,” Vivi tells Jude. “I’m going to figure out a ride home.”

“Your face should keep sitting down,” Jude mumbles spitefully.

“Hey, guys? Vivi?”

Vivi cringes as soon as she hears the voice, because she knows the voice, and because in this situation the owner of that voice will only make things worse. Vivi doesn’t have any personal grudge against Cardan Greenbriar—they’ve even sometimes been friends—except for how her sister feels about him. Taryn’s always said he was kind of a dick, but Taryn doesn’t hate him like Jude does. Nobody hates anybody the way Jude hates Cardan. Vivi wonders if Jude has something to prove.

Sure enough, Jude’s head swivels at the sound of his voice like the kid’s head turning around in The Exorcist. “You,” she snarls, and then stumbles to her feet.

“Jude,” Vivi says, trying to catch her sister’s dress to pull her back, but Jude is already out of reach. With another sigh, Vivi stands too.

“What are you doing here?” Jude demands of Cardan, openly hostile. It would be funny, because Jude is a full head shorter than him, if Jude was anybody else’s sister. “We were all having a great time until you showed up.”

“It’s anybody’s city,” Cardan says, but he doesn’t seem to be mocking her. He holds up his hands to show her they are empty.

“Go the fuck home!” Jude yells, and shoves him, sending him back a couple of steps.

Vivi shouts, “Woah!”

“It’s okay,” Cardan tells Vivi over Jude’s head. “She’s not hurting me. Let her get it out.”

With a little cry, Jude pushes him again, and this time he only stumbles back a half-step, but he keeps his hands up and his stance somewhat grounded. The next time Jude shoves him he doesn’t budge at all, and Jude lets out a grunt of frustration, fisting her hands in his jacket.

And then she bursts into tears.

“Oh,” says Vivi, but Cardan doesn’t seem that surprised. She wonders if he’s used to people behaving badly while drunk or just being drunk himself.

“You’re so a-awful,” Jude says between sobs. “Everything’s awful all the time.”

“I know, Jude,” Cardan replies. He gently pries the jacket out of her fists so he can remove it and drape it over her bare shoulders. Jude grabs onto his shirt instead.

“Why do you hate me so much?” she asks, with a small hiccup.

“I don’t,” Cardan replies. His hand rubs circles between his shoulder blades. “But I hope you’re too drunk to remember that.” He looks up at Vivi, and Vivi feels a brief flash of embarrassment, like she’s intruded on something intimate, before she remembers that they’re in public and, also, she has no shame. “Were you going to get a taxi? I can keep an eye on her while you do. I don’t think she should walk back.”

“Oh.” Vivi blinks. “Yeah. I’ve got it. Where’s your ‘friend?’”

“Sent him packing. He’s back at the hotel, or he should be.”

“Well… good.”

But Cardan isn’t listening. He’s already looking down at Jude again.

It turns out Vivi has, carelessly, let her phone die. She isn’t anal about things like that. Taryn’s the one who keeps a charger in her purse at all times, but Taryn has vanished, and Jude’s phone only works on WiFi outside of the States.

So they hail one of Barcelona's bumblebee-like taxis the old-fashioned way, and Vivi is the one who climbs into the passenger’s seat and tells the driver where to go in Spanish that’s fluent, if definitely not Spain-Spanish. It is deeply ironic that Vivi, the only sister without a drop of Duarte blood in her veins, is the one who speaks Spanish the best. But Jude and Taryn were only seven when their parents died. Vivi had been nine. Two years makes a big difference with these things, especially because memories are shaping and re-shaping themselves in the minds of children that young. As far as the twins’ brains are concerned, they only had their parents for a short time.

Vivi remembers more. She remembers sitting on the counter in the old kitchen, legs swinging, as her dad cooked on Fridays—the special day, the end of the week day—and pointing at things in the kitchen so Justin could tell her their names in Spanish and she could echo them back. Cebolla, onion. Queso, cheese, of course. Cuchara, spoon. The words had a favor of their own, different from the English words she learned in kindergarten. She remembers the smell of toasting coriander seeds, the bright songs her dad would hum, the vibrant melodies bursting from the CD player Vivi leaned her elbow on. When she got far enough along in school, she threw herself into Spanish, hoping the words would pave a road that would lead her back to the man who shaped her.

Sometimes Jude gets in a sulk about their awful twist of fate, or Taryn gets weepy, and Vivi just wants to yell Justin Duarte was my dad, too! She feels like her throat is raw from screaming it her entire adolescence. It was easier in the end to just move away for college.

She ended up in Spain because Madoc and Oriana weren’t keen on her going to Mexico. Oh, sure, they’d been before on vacation no problemo, but as soon as Vivi wanted to go alone it was game over. No matter how much Vivi told them it was very racist of them and a total double standard. Apparently Oriana didn’t want her getting kidnapped. Vivi, who has in fact seen the movie Taken, knows she can get kidnapped in Europe just as easily, thanks very much. That had not been a persuasive argument with Madoc.

So here she is, in Barcelona, where familiar words can have entirely different flavors, and that’s even before getting to Catalan, which she can now speak a little but not well. Most of the time, she’ll be honest, she does love it here. At this moment she’s not feeling charitable toward anything.

Cardan helps load Jude into the backseat of the taxi. The driver, looking in the rearview mirror, asks, “¿Su novio?”

“¿Qué?” Vivi asks reflexively. She cranes her head around to see Cardan sliding in next to Jude, his arm around her shoulder. She switches to English. “What the hell, dude?”

“She won’t let go,” Cardan says simply. It’s true; Jude is clinging to him like a very weepy barnacle, her shoulders still shaking.

“Alright, well.” Vivi turns back around. It’s good to have the extra pair of hands. She wishes again that Heather was here. “You’re the official Jude wrangler now.”

“Copy that. I just—” He sighs, and in the rearview, Vivi sees him rub his face with his free hand. “It’s my fault.”

“Sure is.” The taxi begins to pull away from the curb, and Vivi checks her anger. She amends, “Actually, no, it’s not your fault that my sister’s a lightweight and an angry drunk. But from what I hear, the years of prior psychological damage are totally your fault. So, credit where credit is due.”

Cardan nods. Jude sniffles forlornly. Vivi is intrigued by how gentle he’s being with her, how tolerant. His shirt looks like a regular cotton tee, but knowing him it probably costs about the same as a single night in their very nice AirBnB. He doesn’t seem to mind that Jude’s getting snot and tears all over it.

“Hate you,” Jude mutters, pressing her face into his shoulder. “Hate this.”

“I know.” He pushes a lock of hair that’s escaped from her ponytail. “What are you on?”

“Huh?” There’s a pause. Vivi is watching the road now, but she can imagine Jude’s confused blinking. “I don’t… drugs.”

“Meds.”

“Oh, um, fuck.” Another pause. “Zoloft. I switched this year.”

“You’re not supposed to drink on that stuff,” Cardan says, but it almost sounds like he’s teasing. “It messes you up. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

Jude sniffs. “It’s not like I’m operating heavy machinery,” she says, slurring slightly.

Cardan chuckles. “I did the Zoloft thing, too. I’m not on it anymore, though.”

“‘Cause you couldn’t drink?”

“Like anything would stop me.” He pauses, and Vivi looks into the rearview mirror to find him biting his lower lip in an exaggerated way, so drunk Jude is sure to get the joke. “No, there were... personal reasons.”

Jude is utterly nonplussed. “What?”

“Ah, you know…” He leans over and whispers something to her. Her eyes widen, and then she lets out a small, nervous chuckle. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I was like ‘If I can’t have sex, won’t that just make me more depressed?’”

To Vivi’s great surprise, Jude giggles. A totally surreal sound. She hasn’t giggled like that in years, if ever.

“There we go,” says Cardan, weirdly indulgent. “No more crying. Or, well—oh, okay,” he adds, as Jude turns her head and begins quietly sobbing into the sleeve of his shirt. “I guess some more crying.”

“You seem very sober,” Vivi remarks.

“Yeah, I’m trying it on. Just club soda for me tonight.” He leans over to rest his head on top of Jude’s. “It, cómo se dice, sucks.”

“Like your accent.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Vivi is beginning to get vaguely suspicious. She says, “But you are handling this well. Just used to dealing with a lot of drunks?”

“Huh? Oh.” Cardan’s dark eyes flick up to meet Vivi’s in the mirror. “This isn’t the first time. Jude got wasted at prom, after the stuff with Locke and Taryn came to light. Completely trashed.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“You were finishing up sophomore year, right? In like, Massachusetts? And it’s not like she would have told you. If she’s lucky, she doesn’t remember it. I loaded her into the Uber that took her home.”

Vivi’s stomach twists, but she channels the newfound sister guilt into suspicion and narrows her eyes. “Decent of you.”

“Yeah, I was trying that out, too. Got puked on for the trouble.” Cardan leans his head back against the headrest now. Jude’s sobs have quieted down. “But I still remember the Four Phases of Drunk Jude Duarte.”

“I’m glad somebody does,” Vivi admits. “What are they?”

“Angry, weepy, horny, sick.”

She snorts. “Basically Snow White’s shittiest dwarves.”

“Basically,” Cardan agrees. “But you’re not in danger of her getting sick yet, because we haven’t hit—ah. Um. Well.” He clears his throat. “Never mind.”

Vivi looks up into the mirror again to see Cardan plucking Jude’s hand off of him and returning it to her. “Did we just hit horny?”

“We just hit horny,” he says, his voice strained. Jude has her face buried in his neck again, but this time for entirely different reasons. The hand he had returned to Jude is already sliding back down his shirt. “Okay, hands above the waist. No, above—”

“Oh my God.” Vivi covers her mouth to stifle her laughter.

“Great. Very helpful, Vivienne,” Cardan says, grabbing Jude’s wrist and holding it still. It speaks to their relationship as nearly family friends that he can use her full name without invoking her wrath. “Your sister is outright molesting me and you can’t even tell her to knock it off?”

He doesn’t sound totally panicked, though. “I think you might want my sister to molest you,” Vivi guesses, turning around in her seat to look at him. Somehow, Jude has managed to thoroughly drape herself across him, but Cardan is showing admirable and frankly uncharacteristic self-restraint by keeping her from doing anything that can’t be undone. “Just a little.”

“When she’s sober. Jude, don’t bite my ear. Jude—”

Vivi snickers. The rest of the short ride passes like that, with Cardan deflecting Jude’s advances and Vivi deflecting the taxi driver’s questions about what exactly is happening back there and whether Jude is going to be sick all over his floor mats. They are lucky enough to not hit “sick” until Jude is out of the car and walking up the five stairs to the door of the apartment building. With Cardan’s warning in mind, Vivi is able to jump back in time.

Cardan, who is nearer to Jude, is not so lucky. She leans against the railing and doubles over it, but his shoes and the bottoms of his jeans are still caught in the splash zone. “Okay, great,” he says, gathering her back up. He does not sound entirely tolerant now, but he also doesn’t sound as angry as Vivi might expect. “That’s over. Feel any better?”

“No,” Jude mutters.

“You might in the morning.” He moves them both so Vivi can pass and open the door. “Man, is this really only the second time this has ever happened to you? I have to say, I’m jealous. Not of you in this moment, of course. Just in general.”

“We can’t all be charming teenage alcoholics,” Vivi says, propping the door open so Cardan can help her through.

“You hear that, Jude?” Cardan asks. “Your sister thinks I’m charming.”

“Uh-huh,” says Jude.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Vivi warns. “She’s almost out. Let’s get her upstairs.”

Jude doesn’t make it into the bedroom she and Taryn are sharing. They put her to bed on the couch, on her side, with Cardan’s jacket draped over her. There’s no laundry machine in the AirBnB, but Vivi finds some detergent in the cabinet and they fill the bathroom sink with lukewarm water so Cardan can wash his jeans. Vivi is not sure the right time for the conversation she should have is now, when Cardan is standing in his boxer briefs and Jude is passed out in the next room, but on the bright side, there probably isn’t a worse time.

“You know, I didn’t think we had this level of friendship,” Cardan remarks, dunking his jeans in the sudsy water. “Dealing with your sister must really be a bonding experience. You always liked Rhyia best.”

“Well, Rhyia’s cool.” Vivi folds her arms and leans in the doorway. She kicked off her boots when they got in the door, so Cardan now looks even taller, although certainly not very intimidating in his underwear. “Calvin Klein. Nice. You always struck me as more of a boxers guy, I have to say.”

“Sometimes. These jeans are pretty tight, though.” He looks over at her. “Do you need something?”

She shakes her head. “Oh, nothing. I just can’t believe you’re trying to fuck my sister.”

“I’m not trying to fuck your sister,” Cardan says, massaging his jeans in the sink in such a way that Vivi is forced to wonder whether he’s ever done his own laundry. “She’s wasted. And she hates me.”

Vivi frowns deeply.

Cardan asks, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Vivienne Leigh—”

“Don’t you pull out my full name for this. You’re playing some game here and I will figure out what it—oh.”

“What now?”

Vivi squints at him. “Are you in love with my sister?”

Cardan lets out an exhausted sigh. “Taryn isn’t really my type.”

They both know they aren’t talking about Taryn. “What the fuck. How long?”

“Like a year. Or maybe my whole life. I’m not sure.”

“Does she know?”

“I really hope not.” Cardan grimaces at his reflection in the mirror, and then looks past himself to see where Jude sleeps on the couch. “She’d never let me live it down.”

“Okay, well…” Vivi pauses. This is more older sibling responsibility than she signed up for. “What are your… intentions?”

“I don’t have any.” Vivi purses her lips, and he adds, “I really don’t. I wasn’t expecting to see her tonight. I kind of thought I’d never see her again after we graduated.” He pauses and looks down at the sink. “I think, someday, I’d like to be a person she likes. That she’s capable of liking.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Huh.” He has it really, really bad. Vivi can’t imagine what Jude said or did to make him feel that way about her. Maybe it was her total lack of regard for him? “Is this why you bullied her for years?”

“I hope not!” Cardan exclaims, in a way that suggests this thought has occurred to him before, and moreover, that it actually bothers him. “I don’t know! I don’t want to be that fucking cliché, Vivi.”

“We’re all cliché in our own special ways,” Vivi says, glancing back at Jude. A vague plot is beginning to take shape in her brain. Jude is the plotter, Taryn the planner—there is a difference—and Vivi the pantser, normally. But there is something here that she thinks she can exploit. “Seeing as you have no pants, you should probably stay over. I don’t think any of our clothes will fit you.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You can have one of the twin beds.” After a beat, she adds, “I’m not telling you which one is Jude’s.”

“Darn,” Cardan deadpans. “Now I don’t know which one to jerk off in.”

Vivi pulls a face. “That’s the idea.” And then, because Cardan is hopeless, she reaches forward and yanks the plug from the drain. “Rinse off your jeans in clean water. Otherwise they’ll dry all stiff and soapy.”

“Thank you for the advice, oh wise one.”

She rolls her eyes and leaves him to it. After checking on Jude, whose coloring and breathing are both normal, she heads back to her room and looks at her phone. Nothing from Taryn, even though it’s later than Vivi thought, but Vivi isn’t worried. Taryn’s kind of like a cat in that, somehow, she always manages to land on her feet. Vivi fires off a quick text to her, then stares at the glowing screen, thinking about the way Cardan had rested his head on top of Jude’s in the back of the taxi.

She texts Heather: sisters are a lot of work

And:

i wish you were here

It’s much earlier in New England. When the three dots pop up to indicate that Heather is typing a reply, Vivi smiles.

#jurdan #judecardan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jurdannet #jurdan fanfic #the folk of the air #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #the cruel prince #mine: fic #fic: i hate everybody

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