#this is the most challengers content we’ve gotten in a minute

[jesuistrestriste]

ZENDAYA’S VIDEO DIARY OF THE FILMING OF CHALLENGERS?? everyone say thank you z.

[homesickwhispers]

challenge. (part 4.)

(Van X Reader.)

As you come closer to reaching 2 months without smoking, you feel weaker, but an unexpcted conversation helps you keep your balance.

warning: NSFW content.

im gonna be honest with yall i’m not ready to say goodbye to Challenge yet 😭😭😭😭

As the days went by, I felt this strange tension between Van and me. We were getting closer yet somehow drifting apart at the same time.

My affection for him grew stronger, and his endless patience only deepened that, but doubts kept spinning in my head about what our future would look like after these two months. It was hard to see past all the uncertainty.

We still talked a lot and spent most of our time together, but since my cravings were easing and my body weakening, I had entered a new stage of quitting.

And that meant I didn’t felt the same need—or have the same amount of energy—to be intimate as often as I had in the first month. And, honestly, that left me feeling a little embarrassed.

We were halfway through the second month, and my body just wasn’t cooperating. It felt like I was setting myself up everytime I got close to him.

My libido had plummeted, and it was harder to reach that same level of pleasure I had before.—basically I couldn’t cum as easily as I did when we first started getting intimate.

Every single day, we’d go to bed. But the past week had been rough, my mind was buzzing and not even Van’s kisses were capable of shutting it down.

Van was a pleaser. He got turned on by giving me pleasure. So when he went down on me like he always did and it just wasn’t enough I felt weak, like I was letting him down, like I wasn’t enough..

I was exhausted as well. Work was piling up in ways I couldn’t keep up with, and I’d fallen out of my routine, even skipping my morning runs that had helped me so much. Any free time I had, all I wanted to do was black out in my bunk.

Not only I felt tired all the time but Van’s presence became like a lullaby for me—whenever I was near him, all I wanted was to curl up in his arms and sleep.

I knew it wasn’t entirely my fault. Quitting an addiction had its effects, and I was feeling every single one of them. Tiredness, weakness, and the sharp drop in my libido. I couldn’t control it, but still, I felt guilty. Like I wasn’t holding up my end of the deal.

I started avoiding him a bit, feeling embarrassed about how low my energy had gotten, like I owed him more than I was giving. But I knew Van would notice if I kept pulling away, so one day, I decided I had to come clean.

“Hey,” I said, standing by his bunk. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Of course,” he said, sitting up. “Come in.”

I climbed into the small, familiar space, the intimacy of it making the conversation even harder to start.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his brows knitting with concern.

“I’m not sure how to say this…” I hesitated.

“Just say it, love. It’s alright. D’you want a smoke or something? We can try somethi—“

“No, no—it’s not that. It’s about you. Well, us, actually.”

His face softened. “Yeah? What about us?”

I took a deep breath. “I know I overreacted about Meredith, and I’m sorry for that. We’ve talked about it already, but…I’m honestly just…”

“What is it?” He was being so patient, but it made this even harder.

“I think we should see other people.”

“What?” His eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, I’m not exactly in my best shape right now, Van, I don’t think I can be what you need.”

“This is madness (Y/N). I don’t need you to be anything other than yourself.”

“It’s not that simple, Van. I know we are on a good place, but lately… I just feel like I’m not giving you enough.”

“What do you mean by that?” His voice softened, and I could see he genuinely wanted to understand. “(Y/N), you’ve been through so much these past few weeks. Not only are you working through quitting your addiction, but you’re keeping everything running for the band. You’ve been amazing company to me. I don’t need anything more from you than what you already give.”

I swallowed hard, trying to push the words out. “It’s not just that, Van It’s just… I’m sad I can’t give you the same energy in bed, you know?”

Van sighed, leaning in closer. “(Y/N), that’s not why I’m here. I’m not counting how often we shag or keeping score. I just want to be with you, however that looks. There’s more to us than that. Your body is going trough a lot of changes lately and I will give it the time it needs to adjust to everything.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, my voice barely a whisper as I said, “I just want you to want me.”

Van’s expression softened instantly, and he reached out, brushing a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “Hey, hey… I do want you. Don’t ever think I don’t.”

I looked away, ashamed of my own feelings. “But I’m not… I’m not as active as you are. I don’t feel like I can keep up with you…I feel like I’m not enough.”

“You’re more than enough,” he said firmly, his voice filled with that steady, comforting warmth I always found in him. “This isn’t about what you can give me, or how often. I want you—always, just as you are. Tired, messy, happy, sad… I want you, love. That’s all.”

His words hit me hard, and I felt my defenses crumble. “But what if… what if I can’t be what you need?”

“You already are,” Van whispered, pulling me into his arms. “You always have been. And nothing’s going to change that.”

I let myself collapse into his arms, my tears soaking his shirt, but I didn’t care. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and he kept caressing my hair, pressing soft kisses to my forehead until my breathing slowed and the weight in my chest lightened.

“I don’t want to see other people, Van. I want you,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “I always have. But I don’t want to hold you back, either. You deserve someone who can give you everything.”

He stilled for a moment, then gently pulled back just enough to look at me. His brow furrowed, his eyes searching mine. “Is that what you really think?”

I bit my lip, feeling vulnerable. “I just… I don’t want you to feel stuck with me. If you want to explore or find someone else, you should. It’s not like we’re officially together or anything.”

Van let out a deep breath, shaking his head. “Love, that’s not how this works. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t want some meaningless fling. I want you. All of you. Not just your body, but you.” He cupped my face, his thumb gently brushing the corner of my lips. “I don’t care if we’re not ‘official’ or whatever. You’re enough for me. You always will be.”

I blinked at him, overwhelmed by his words. “But how can you be so sure?”

He gave a soft smile, his eyes never leaving mine. “Because I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. And I’m not about to ruin that by chasing something I don’t even need. I’m not desperate (Y/N), I don’t want you to feel like you’re on a competition or somethin’.”

“So you don’t care that we aren’t… intimate as much as we were?” I asked, searching his eyes for reassurance.

“Of course I miss you,” he replied, his voice steady and sincere. “But I would never leave you because of that. We can work through this together, I know we can.”

His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, easing the tension in my chest. “Really? You mean it?”

“Absolutely,” he said, his grip on me tightening slightly. “What we have is more important than just physical intimacy. I care about you, and I want to support you through whatever you’re dealing with. This isn’t a dealbreaker for me. It’s just a bump in the road, and we’ll get through it together.”

I felt a wave of relief wash over me. “Thank you, Van. It’s just hard sometimes, feeling like I’m not enough.”

He smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re more than enough. Just being you is what I want.”

I gave him a quick peck on the lips, feeling a flutter of warmth at the contact. “Thank you. For everything.” I held his gaze for a few seconds until my phone started buzzing, reminding me of the world outside our little bubble. “I’ve got to work now, but I’ll see you in a bit.”

Van’s eyes sparkled with a mix of affection and encouragement. “I’ll be right here when you’re done. Just take your time, yeah?”

With a nod, I stepped back, taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts. As I turned to leave, I felt his gaze on me, a comforting presence that lingered even as I walked away.

After me and the band tested the stage, I decided to step down for a bit to chat with some fans who were queuing. I recognized a few familiar faces, and we had an amazing exchange.

The girls were extremely sweet, and it was amazing to talk to people who were so dedicated to the band and made our work feel even more appreciated. It’s crazy to belive that I was once in their place and now I was part of the crew that made magic happen every single night.

As I was walking back after saying my goodbyes, I suddenly felt a hand on my back.

I turned around expecting someone from the venue but I couldn’t hide my shock when I realized it was Meredith.

“Hi,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral. “How can I help you?”

“You’re the girl who works with Van, right? Do you know where he is?” she asked, a hint of urgency in her voice.

“I’m sorry, I think he’s resting right now,” I replied, keeping my tone light.

“No, he’s not. He just texted me and asked me to meet him backstage.”

My heart stopped. She couldn’t be serious.

“Well, you should ask him to come out here then. I’m not his babysitter; I’m just part of the crew,” I said, turning my back on her.

“Hey, wait!” she called after me. “Do you know who I am?”

“I don’t, I’m sorry,” I said, forcing a nonchalant tone as I lied.

She seemed frustrated, crossing her arms. “How could you not? I mean, I’m around all the time. Does he not talk about me?”

I ran my hands through my hair, feeling the irritation bubble beneath the surface. “Listen, I’m sorry but I really need to get back to work now. We always have loads of people coming in and out backstage. I can’t remember everyone.”

I turned to leave, hoping to escape the conversation, but I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew she wouldn’t let this go easily.

“It’s fucking tiring, you know,” she said, crossing her arms defiantly.

“Pardon me?” I replied, caught off guard.

“Chasing him,” she continued, her voice laced with frustration. “It’s tiring.”

I went completely silent, unsure of how to react to her admission.

“I know you think I’m just a dumb fucking groupie or whatever… I see the way you look at me. But can you even blame me? How can anyone not want him?”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I almost felt like I would drop to my knees, completely unprepared for this confrontation.

“I… I don’t think badly of you, you don’t even know me.” I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just complicated.”

“I know you, (Y/N). He talks about you.”

“What?” The word slipped out before I could stop myself, my heart racing at the revelation.

“Yeah,” she said, her tone softening slightly. “He mentions you a lot. How you’re hardworking, and how you’ve been there for him. He respects you.”

“Why would he even say those things to you?”

“I don’t know.” She said shuggring “But he does. Every time we are together, actually. That day he left early at the pub all he did was talk about you. It was like I was not even there.”

My mind was spinning. “But… I thought you two were… close?”

She sighed, frustration returning to her voice. “We were. But it’s not what you think. He’s always had a soft spot for you, and it’s obvious. I can’t compete with that.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, bewildered.

“Because,” she replied, her gaze steady. “I thought you should know. If you care about him, you need to be honest with yourself. I can’t keep pretending I’m not in the picture, but I’m not here to cause trouble. I won’t humiliate myself for Van.”

I blinked, processing her words. “So you’re saying you’re giving up?”

“I don’t want to chase someone who’s not interested in me. I’ve done that for too long,” she admitted, her voice softening again. “And I see how he looks at you. It’s different. You need to talk to him, (Y/N). Stop dancing around it.”

As much as I wanted to dismiss her, her honesty struck a chord. “I appreciate you telling me this, but it’s not that simple. He deserves someone who can be all in, and I don’t know if I can be that person right now.”

“Then figure it out,” she said, her tone firm. “Because if you don’t, you might lose him to someone else who isn’t afraid to go for it.”

With that, she turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, stunned by the unexpected confrontation. My heart raced, caught between the weight of her words and the truth of my own feelings for Van. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts.

The weight of everything was beginning to suffocate me—the insecurities I’d tried to bury, the pressure of my job, and the lingering ghost of my addiction.

I knew, deep down, I’d loved Van from the start. His presence had always been a comfort, a steady warmth in the chaos of my life.

And I knew he wanted me to stay, that he cared about me in ways I sometimes couldn’t comprehend.

Meredith had a point, even if I didn’t expect her to. I couldn’t keep dancing around my feelings, pretending everything was fine, I couldn’t let my anxiety get the best of this.

If I really wanted to be with Van, if I truly wanted him to know me, I had to come clean. About everything. The doubts that haunted me, the way my past had shaped the person I was today.

The conversation with him earlier had shown me something crucial—he was willing to listen. He was ready to work through this with me, no matter how messy it got. And after what both he and Meredith had said, I found myself starting to believe in myself just a little more.

Before the show, a quiet determination settled over me. Beneath my usual black clothes, I slipped on my best pair of lingerie. It was the only set I owned, but tonight it had to work. I wasn’t doing this just for Van—I was doing it for me.

A reminder that I could feel beautiful, desirable, and confident, even if part of me still wrestled with the insecurities that lingered beneath the surface.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. For a moment, I allowed myself to feel bold, to imagine the conversation we’d have later, where I’d finally let him in on everything I’d been holding back.

This wasn’t just about looking good. It was about showing myself that I could face my fears and trust someone with the real me.

Tonight, I’d take the first step.

After the show, I could barely breathe. My heart raced, a confusing mix of anticipation and anxiety swirling inside me.

All I wanted was to talk to Van, to let everything out. When he greeted me with that familiar smile, his presence calmed my nerves, like it always did. As we walked backstage, our hands resting lightly on each other’s waists, I couldn’t help but lean into him a little.

“You were amazing today,” I said softly, glancing up at him. “So good.”

He grinned, that easy confidence radiating off him, but his touch on my waist was gentle. “You think so? It was only cause I knew you were watching,” Van replied with a teasing grin, his voice low and playful.

I felt my face heat up at his words, my heart doing a little flip. I nudged him lightly with my shoulder, trying to play it cool, but his gaze stayed locked on mine, intense and full of something deeper.

“You’re ridiculous,” I muttered, though I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips.

“I missed you,” Van murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.

His words sent a warm shiver through me, and I leaned into his touch, even as my heart raced. We were becoming more and more confident about being physical in front of the band and crew, a natural ease settling between us that hadn’t been there before.

But still, a part of me felt intimidated, unsure about how much of us to share with the world, even in these small moments.

I glanced around briefly, noticing a few curious eyes, but Van didn’t seem to care. He never did. It was like being close to me, touching me, was the most natural thing for him.

“Yeah?” I whispered, turning my head slightly to catch his gaze.

He smiled, that familiar spark in his eyes. “Always.”

“Maybe you can show me just how much you missed me when we get back…” I whispered, gripping his waist a little tighter, feeling the heat between us spark in that small moment.

Van’s eyes darkened slightly, his smile shifting into something more mischievous. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against my ear as he whispered back, “I’d be more than happy to, love.”

The way he said it sent a rush through me, and suddenly, the tension that had been lingering all day felt like it might snap at any second. I bit my lip, glancing up at him with a look that said more than words ever could.

It was a promise—a silent agreement for later.

We did what we always used to do—waited until everyone went to sleep so I could sneak into Van’s bunk.

But tonight, the waiting felt even longer. Every minute stretched out, my nerves twisting tighter, and fear started creeping in.

I wanted to try something new tonight, something I wasn’t sure how Van would react to—a tiny vibrator that had been my companion during countless lonely nights.

I’d kept it hidden away, unsure of whether I should bring it out. But tonight, the idea wouldn’t leave me. I had to try. For me, for us.

By 3 a.m., the bus was quiet, and I was certain everyone was asleep. I slipped silently from my bunk, heart pounding, and crawled into Van’s bed in one swift motion, pulling the curtain closed behind me.

“Hi,” I whispered, my voice a little shaky.

“Hey,” he murmured back, his eyes barely open but already smiling at the sight of me. His hand found my waist under the blankets, pulling me closer.

I swallowed, trying to shake the nerves. Tonight was different. I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but I wanted to show him this other side of me.

I kissed him lightly at first, but then I tugged on his hair, pulling him closer, forcing our mouths together. There was an urgency in the way I moved, like I needed to feel the connection between us more than ever.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low and cautious, as his lips hovered near mine.

“Yeah,” I whispered, not wanting him to pull away.

“We don’t have to—” he started, but I kissed him again, cutting him off. This time, his hands found my body, tracing my curves with a slow, deliberate touch that sent shivers down my spine. I pressed myself closer to him, needing more, craving the way his touch made everything else fall away.

“I want this,” I murmured against his lips, feeling the weight of my own truth in the words. “I want you.”

As we started making out, my body responded to him instantly, every touch and kiss igniting something deep inside me. His hands explored my sides, gripping my ass and pulling me closer until there was no space left between us.

“God, I missed you so much,” I breathed against his lips, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

Van’s grip tightened, his lips brushing against my ear as he whispered, “I missed you too, love. More than you know.”

I could sense Van pulling back slightly every now and then, his hesitance palpable as if he was afraid I was only seeking intimacy to please him. But despite my exhaustion, the ache for him had grown unbearable.

“Please, Van, stop. I just want you,” I whispered, my voice trembling with longing.

His resolve softened at my words, and he closed the distance between us, capturing my lips with his in a fervent kiss. It felt like everything I had been craving was finally within reach.

“What do you want, (Y/N)?” he murmured against my mouth, his breath hot and inviting. “Tell me. I want to make you feel good.”

“Touch me”

“Can we take these off?” Van murmured, his fingers already teasing the hem of my shirt.

I nodded eagerly, a sense of impatience rushing through me as I helped him tug my clothes off. The feel of his hands on my skin, warm and sure, only heightened the anticipation coursing through my veins.

As the fabric fell away, leaving me exposed, I caught his gaze, his eyes dark with hunger.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss my collarbone, sending sparks of warmth through my body.

He looked at my red lingerie set and smiled, his eyes flickering with surprise and appreciation. “This one’s new,” he murmured, his voice laced with approval as his fingers trailed the fabric.

I felt my cheeks flush under his gaze, the nervousness creeping back in for a moment. “Yeah… thought I’d surprise you.”

Van’s fingers lightly traced the lace along my hips. “You’ve definitely done that,” he whispered, his lips brushing against my shoulder. “You look incredible, love.”

But then, just as Van leaned in to kiss me again, I gently placed my finger on his lips, stopping him. His eyes widened in curiosity.

“I want to try something new today,” I said softly, my heart pounding in my chest. “But you have to promise me you’re okay with it.”

“Yeah?” He tilted his head slightly, looking intrigued. “What is it?”

I hesitated for a moment before reaching into my jeans pocket and pulling out the small vibrator I’d hidden there. Holding it up between us, I could feel my pulse quicken. “Maybe we could try double stimulation,” I suggested, my voice barely a whisper.

Van glanced at the vibrator, then back at me. A slow smile crept onto his face. “You’ve been planning this, haven’t you?” His tone was teasing, but there was a glint of excitement in his eyes.

“Maybe,” I replied, a nervous laugh escaping.

“Alright,” he said, his voice low and steady. “I’m okay with it.” Then he leaned in, his lips tracing my ear. “I missed seeing you come for me.”

Van positioned me on my back and reached for the vibrator, running it along my inner thighs in teasing circles. As I gasped at the sensation, his eyes locked on mine, a gentle smile on his lips.

“This feels good, doesn’t it?” he whispered, pressing the vibrator to my clit.

A rush of pleasure washed through me at the touch, and I let out a low moan in response. Van’s eyes grew darker with desire, his smile shifting into something more mischievous.

“Is this what you’ve been using?” he asked. His fingers were already tracing my lips, making me tremble. “This is what you used when you thought about me?”

“Yes,” I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed as the vibrations intensified.

“I like that,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to my stomach.

As the vibrator hummed against my skin, I reached up, grabbing Van by his shirt and pulling him into me. He let out a soft groan as our bodies pressed together, the sensation of his hard cock against my thigh sending another rush of heat through me. But I knew I couldn’t have him. Not yet.

“Van..mmm” I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come out.

“What, love?”

“I want you..Your mouth.”

He obliged instantly as always my wish was his command, his mouth found my clit, and the sensation of the vibrator and his tongue on me was almost overwhelming. I couldn’t help but let out a cry of pleasure.

“Shhh, baby,” he whispered against my skin. “You don’t want to wake anyone up.”

My moans were growing louder by the second, and Van reached up, covering my mouth with his hand.

“Just be quiet. I promise you’re going to come for me soon,” he said, the heat in his voice sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded, biting down hard on his hand as another wave of pleasure shot through me.

Van chuckled, his warm breath against my clit making me squirm under him. “Be good,” he teased. “Don’t let anyone hear you. I want you all to myself tonight.”

I felt his tongue swirl around my clit, the pressure of the vibrator pulsing against my entrance. The sensation was too much—I cried out into his hand, my legs quivering as the orgasm surged through me.

Van took his hand away from my mouth and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “There you go, love. You were amazing.”

I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him. “Thank you,” I murmured, still trying to catch my breath. “That was incredible.”

“You were incredible,” he replied, stroking my hair gently.

“Let me repay the favor” I said, already pushing down his boxers.

“No, love, it’s okay.” Van tried to push me away, but I had his cock already in my hand. It felt so good, his cock warm against my palm.

“Please” I whispered.

“Fuck” Van grunted “Okay”

I started stroking him gently, watching his expression change from reluctance to pleasure. I loved seeing him like this, his eyes shut tight, his muscles tense with anticipation.

I took my free hand and stroked his balls, feeling them tighten up under my touch. His breathing sped up, and his body tensed, a low groan slipping past his lips.

“I’m going to come, if you keep it like this.” he gasped.

“Can I suck you?” I asked, looking up at him through my lashes.

He nodded, his eyes still closed. “Please.”

I leaned down, taking his cock into my mouth. He let out another loud groan, his body shaking under me. I felt his hand find my hair, gently guiding my head back and forth as I sucked him. His other hand found my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers.

“Fuck” he groaned, his hips starting to buck against me. “You’re amazing.”

I started sucking him harder, feeling his cock thicken in my mouth. He gasped, his body going rigid for a moment before he came, his cum filling my mouth and dripping down my chin.

“Fuck, that was good,” he panted, his hand finding my cheek and stroking it gently. “You’re the best, you know that?”

I swallowed his load and opened my mouth to show him it was all gone, the smile on my face, honest and bright. His eyes widened with admiration, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“You are perfect,” he said, his voice filled with warmth and awe. He gently cleaned my chin with his hand, his fingers soft against my skin, and then slid them into my mouth, encouraging me to swallow everything completely.

I took him in, savoring the moment, feeling a mix of satisfaction and exhilaration, sucking each one of his finger slowly. As I pulled away, wiping my lips with the back of my hand, I caught the look in his eyes—hunger, affection, and something deeper that made my heart flutter.

I smiled up at him, still feeling the warmth of his cum in my mouth. “You are perfect.” I replied, my voice still a little breathless. “I never knew I could feel this good.”

He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through the intimate space we shared. “You make it easy. I just want to see you happy.”

His words washed over me like a warm wave, and I could feel my cheeks flush. The vulnerability of the moment hung in the air, electrifying the connection between us. I leaned in closer, my heart racing as I pressed my lips against his, tasting the remnants of our shared pleasure.

“Thank you for doing what I asked,” I said a bit shyly, my heart racing at the vulnerability of my words. “I know it’s not…ideal, but I wanted to try this with you.”

He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch gentle and reassuring. “You don’t have to thank me. I love that you wanted to explore this together.”

A blush crept across my cheeks, and I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness.

Van smiled, his eyes sparkling with warmth. “Every moment we share like this just brings us closer.”

The weight of his words sank in, wrapping around my heart like a comforting embrace. “I’m glad. I just… I didn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable.”

“Hey,” he said softly, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. “You could never make me uncomfortable. I want to make you happy, and I want us to discover each other in whatever way feels right.”

A sense of relief washed over me, easing the tension in my chest. “That means a lot, Van. I really care about you.”

He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “And I care about you. Whatever you want, we’ll figure it out together.”

I smiled and snuggled into him, letting myself rest for a minute.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after a few moments of silence. His hands cupped one of my breasts, squeezing and caressing it softly, sending shivers through me. “With the fags and all?”

“It’s honestly been so much better,” I admitted, feeling light for the first time in days.

He smiled, a mix of relief and pride washing over his features. “I’m so glad to hear that. You deserve to feel good, to be happy.”

I looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity, and found it in the warmth of his gaze. “It’s because of you. You make everything feel more manageable.”

“Just being here with you, it makes a difference,” he replied, his thumb brushing over my skin, sending delightful waves of pleasure through me. “I want you to feel supported, no matter what.”

I felt a knot of emotion in my throat, a mix of gratitude and vulnerability. “Thank you, Van. I know I’m not easy to handle sometimes.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’re worth it. Every moment, every struggle… it’s all part of the journey. And I’m here for it all.”

“I appreciate you more than I can say,” I whispered, my heart swelling with affection.

“Just remember,” he said, leaning closer, his breath warm against my skin, “we’re in this together.”

“I had a chat with Meredith today,” I said, my voice a bit hesitant, still trying to process everything myself.

“What?” Van sounded genuinely surprised. “You and Meredith?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, biting my lip. “It was actually… good? I mean, not exactly good, but it was useful, I guess.”

He raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “How was it useful?”

I let out a small sigh, thinking back to the conversation. “She said some things that, well… made me think. About us. About how I’ve been dealing with everything. She was honest, maybe too honest, but it kind of forced me to face a few things I’ve been avoiding.”

Van’s expression softened, concern flickering in his eyes. “What did she say?”

I hesitated, not sure how to word it. “She… basically told me she’s been chasing after you. And it made me realize how much I’ve been pushing you away because of my own insecurities. She was frustrated, but it wasn’t just about you. It made me look at myself, at how much I’ve been holding back.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, absorbing what I was saying. Then he gently squeezed my hand. “You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone,(Y/N). I’m here because I want to be. With you. No one else.”

“I know,” I whispered, feeling the weight of his words settle into my chest. “But I can’t keep dancing around my feelings, Van. If we’re going to make this work, I need to come clean about everything. All the stuff I’ve been hiding from you, from myself.”

His grip tightened slightly, reassuring me. “I’m ready to listen. Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

The vulnerability in his voice gave me the courage to keep going. “I just hope I don’t lose you in the process.”

“Never, love. Never.” He said kissing my forehead lightly.

And maybe now, the 2 months coming to an end, didn’t seem that frightening anymore. It just seemed like us, getting closer and closer, and our love getting even more real.

And that was exactly what I needed.

[ariadnewhitlock]

Timing: Current (well, on Tuesday) Location: Ariadne’s apartment Feat: Ariadne and Teddy ( @eldritchaccident ) Warnings: None Summary: Teddy comes over for tea. Aria is rhyming. At first Teddy thinks it is a bit. It isn’t. :/ 

Tuesday Tea dates, something that was supposed to happen quite regularly but due to life, the existence of terrible wonderful supernatural things, and distractible ex-demons, sort of just… hadn’t. Teddy wanted to make this one special. A little buddy moment meant to break up the bleak. With arms loaded up on treats and totes filled with various teas, Teds made their way to Ariadne’s apartment. 

The doorbell was a challenge. 

For a good minute or two the caster struggled with the bags, unwilling to put them down (because that was an admittance of defeat) but unable to get something up to the level of the button. Eventually, Teddy used their nose. Poking it just enough to hear a response. Checkmate. 

__

Teddy was super cool. Like, top ten coolest people Ariadne knew. Which made sense, because, again, Wynne had good taste in people (maybe Jade, notwithstanding) and Teddy had proven themselves to be just wonderful. So the fact that they wanted to have tea dates with her was something she’d be grateful for for as long as they were in her life.

She’d just gotten cups and everything all set up when she heard the doorbell ring and she glided over to the door, opening it. “It’s really nice to see you. Nothing in here should be askew.” Or at least she hoped. Ariadne wasn’t the neatest person around, but she liked to make a good impression wherever she could. “How’ve you been? Seeing you really makes me want to grin!” __

Now, Teddy was hardly the most perceptive person around, but even they noticed the strange cadence. Or perhaps word choice was a better way to notate the change. Maybe it was a bit. Teddy loved bits. Rhyming? They could hop on that train. “Howdy hello, the Tea’s good to go!” The long limbed guest wormed their way into the apartment, but not before bop-ing Ariadne on the hip with their own. 

“We’ve got cookies and cakes, and some new flavor takes.” The bag wiggled in their hand as Teddy showed it off, a fine prize, hard won by… going to the store. “What’s new with you… Scooby Doo?” 

__

They started to rhyme too and she shook her head curiously. Well, maybe then they wouldn’t call her out. “Oh, that’s really good. We wouldn’t want to make it out of wood.” Ariadne shrugged. “What did you get? I think my palate has very much been whet.” Which wasn’t a word she figured she had ever used before. “I don’t usually talk like that. I’m not even wearing a hat!” She exclaimed.

“I’m alright. I got to try the new flavor of Sprite!” Which was at least true, so she wasn’t lying on top of everything else. “How about you? What have you been up to?”

__

“Y’know, Cinnamon is made from a bark–” Teddy pondered for a second, thinking of the next rhyme. “Perhaps we should try normal wood, on a lark.” There were probably a few other tea ingredients that were technically wood. Which of course, started Teds on a spiraling path of thought as they placed everything out on the little table. 

“We’ve got a spicy chai and a sweet strawberry cream, both are new but I hear they taste like a dream.” Two ends of the spectrum of taste. “Oh no worries, no need for sorries.” A slant rhyme at best. Honestly Ariadne was amazing at this. They knew she was quick witted, but this was on another level. 

“Ohh, Sprite’s real nice, I like it over ice.” New flavor though? How behind the times had they gotten? “Lots of relaxing and resting… Making Emilio stay still is quite testing.” 

__

“Oh, I don’t know if I knew that fact. I don’t mean to lack tact.” Ariadne watched them spread out the contents of their bag. The strawberry cream sounded especially good. “I might wanna try the strawberry cream first. Anything sweet like that’ll quench my thirst.” She’d meant to say that she just liked anything sweet, but it didn’t come out that way.

“Me too! I’ve gotten it at the zoo. The zoo’s sort is pretty pricey. But it’s very nice and icy.” Ariadne grinned. “I’ve been told I can’t stay still too well. But I guess only time will tell.” She paused. “I think I have some in my fridge over there. I can get some if you want, or even a pair.” She bit her lip. “Pair of glasses or cans, I mean. It makes for a nice scene.”

__

“Lacking facts don’t put you in the sack.” Did that count? Wasn’t the rhyming couplet structure, but ahh well. “Lemme set up that treat, cause you deserve something sweet!” Teddy grinned and headed to the kitchen to fetch the hot water. “This tea pot is so cute!” They called over, then stopped for a second and added; “–and matching teacups to boot!” The looseleaf was scooped into the little basket, the water poured and the tray retrieved. Perfection. 

“I’ve still never been to the zoo, maybe we should hang out there too.” Zoos were… a difficult thing to parse. It took Teds a long time to realize that now-a-days they were more of a rehabilitation and education center rather than a prison for animals. There may or may not have been a few places in Canada that had lost a few apex predators in the early 90’s. Oops. “Oh Emilio is the worst at it, that boy cannot just sit.” A brief silence and an incredibly fond and goofy smile later, they added. “I love him so much Jellybean, even if he’s sometimes stinky and mean.” 

A taste test could be fun. “I’ve heard some use sprite to make their tea, I dunno ‘bout you, but it sounds questionable to me.” Tea and Soda seemed like a practical joke more than an actual ‘food hack’ but Ted would try anything at least once. 

___

“If you say so. I promise that you can always say no!” Because she didn’t want them to feel pressured into anything. That was never something that she would intend to do, and never something she wanted to seem like she did. “I can never get enough candy. The fact that I have lots is pretty handy.” Ariadne grinned. “I do like to match, I guess. Maybe that’s why I play so much chess.” It wasn’t, but she was a fan of the game, and it was something that made her brain think and made her feel successful in a way that few things other than dance did.

“We could if you want. I’ve been there with my aunt.” And Chance, and her uncle, but apparently that wasn’t something she could finish that sentence with. “Except I, uh, well, animals are afraid of me. I don’t want to make them try and flee.” Ariadne frowned for a moment, but quickly shook her head, not wanting to make things sad. “I’m glad you love him as much as you do. There’s hardly any couple out there as wonderful as you two.” 

“I feel you, Wynne’s the best thing in my life. I’d love to someday be their wife.” She smacked the palm of her hand against her mouth. “I don’t mean to overshare about that. I just would do anything, even wear an ugly hat.” Ariadne hoped they wouldn’t tell Wynne what she’d said, because she didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. “Yeah, I love a good sweet, but that sounds like something easy to beat.”

__

“I trust you on that, maybe we’ll see a bat!” Damn, Ariadne was really committed to this, hmm? Ah, right, Teddy thought, the mare thing. No animals unless they were… supernatural-ey. Maybe. Still unsure on that one. As versed as they were in the world of the extraordinary, the undead eluded the Jones fam. They knew enough to stay away unless it was really necessary or really fun. Though, that’s pretty much how Leviathan raised them about people too. Most if not all connections outside of the pair were for ‘necessary’ things. 

“We’ll just have to get you some more, treating you is never a chore.” It was a rhyme, but they meant it too. Teddy had a soft spot for kids, especially ones who didn’t seem like they had the best homelife or childhood. Kinda saw it as their duty to pass on the good fortune Leviathan brought to them with the adoption. Five, Twenty, did it really matter that much? Nah. She was still a kid, and deserved to be treated the best. 

“While the zoo is quite neat, it can be hell on your feet. So we could always find another fun, don’t have to stick to just that one.” They offered, not wanting to dishearten her with the sore subject. “Ah, well you say that right there, but I’ve seen how you care. You and Wynne are a great coup—” Ted’s mind skipped like a scratched record, hearing what she said and seeing the way she reacted. The words just kept slipping through, as if she had no control. 

“—wait, babes, are you not rhyming on purpose?” 

__ 

~To be continued~

[gurugirl]

Tales From the Modern Incubus Part V*

Summary: Harry gets some news about you from the watchers but it doesn't deter him. You are caught with a conundrum and have a decision to make about your relationship with Miguel.

A/N: This is dark!harry content and Harry's a demon so beware before reading on - check out all warnings in the TFMI masterlist. This is a longer update, at 8k words which means there's a lot of info to take in so pay close attention. Character List for reference

Warning: Smut, unprotected sex, dry humping, cheating (technically), mentions of spells & incantations

Part IV

Part V*

It didn’t take the watchers long to find their first bit of interesting information about you. When Harry received the call from Aim, he was in the middle of getting caught up on a few things that he’d neglected the past few days since he found you. He really wanted to stay and watch you eat your toast while you looked at your phone watching dumb videos but duties called.

Aim told Harry to wait for Tamie, the watcher who had found the important information. She would be arriving to his home in approximately thirty minutes with documents and information for Harry.

“I’ve looked over everything she’s found, and it does nothing to comfort me about the mistress you’ve selected. They are still gathering information about her but I’d caution you to keep your distance, at least a little until we know more. I’m not telling any of the apostles of the findings until necessary, but they will request information.” Aim advised.

Harry shook his head to himself, “Understood. I’ll wait for here for Tamie.” He wouldn’t be keeping his distance, that would hinder his progress with you.

Aim knew Harry wouldn’t listen, but he had to at least offer him some advice, “I know you’ll do what you want anyway, Harry. But what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t give you a warning? I’m rarely wrong when I make these calls. But, we’ve been given free will, and you certainly can proceed how you choose but it’s wise to heed good advice. Bad choices have bad consequences.”

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course he knew his friend was right and he hadn’t even told Aim of what had happened when you were startled because you could smell him in your room when you couldn’t even see him. Harry could make this so much easier on himself by selecting a different mistress. But Harry was never one to take the easy way out. He adored a challenge and you were already coming around to him. In fact, he’d gotten a text from you not long before Aim called. Even if you were supernatural, he could still complete his task with you. It wasn’t unheard of. Not conventional, but not prohibited either.

“I know. I appreciate your advice and I’ll keep it in mind,” Harry spoke before both men said their goodbyes.

Just as Aim said, Tamie showed up with a folder in hand thirty minutes later.

“Come in, please.” Harry let the watcher into his home and noted how she looked around and at everything in his space. Harry had eclectic taste. If not expensive. It might have been a bit over the top but Harry embraced his preferences and the things he liked. People, demons, and angels who’d visited him usually made a few comments about his decorations. He almost expected it every time. He enjoyed the attention.

But Tamie didn’t say anything about the space around her or the decorations and furnishings he’d selected. She was clearly in business mode. Handing him the file she spoke, “Take a look at what I have here for you.” She leans in and opens the folder, pointing to the first document, “This is a birth certificate for Y/N, but it's been altered. To someone who doesn’t know what to look for this looks fine. In fact, most state and federal entities wouldn’t blink an eye or question the authenticity, which is why she exists as a citizen today. But I have come across this a few times and the pattern appears the same so I knew just what to look for and my hunch was correct. Can we sit?”

“Sure. Would you like anything to drink?” Harry said as he kept his eyes on the document, searching for what could be off about this as he led Tamie to his dining table where they could lay the documents out.

“No. That’s okay. Thank you.”

Tamie immediately took over, showing Harry her findings about you, “This is a fake. I could go into detail and explain why I know this, but you'll just have to take my word for it, because the rest of the evidence speaks for itself. This next document, here, is a sort of contract for an adoption. This wasn’t a regular adoption. There is no certificate of adoption, there is no original birth certificate either. Y/N was adopted illegally by her current parents. Y/N’s father, Enzo and her mother Gwyn deliberately looked into false adoption options and there are three other records, which I’ve made copies of… here…” she slid out a sheet of paper with three images, which looked to be receipts of some kind, “… these are like down payment receipts, and to set up the initial meetings for the adoption. Everything was done in cash so there’s no way to actually trace this back to Enzo and Gwyn, but we have this…” Tamie’s red nails pluck out another sheet of paper and puts it on top, pointing to the copied travel document, “… travel records for the both of them, going to the same city that these three receipts are from,” she points back to the paper with the images copied on it, “… the timeline matches up. The pair stayed at a small motel very close to the location and we see that they returned home after the initial meeting and deposit made.”

Tamie puts away some of the papers, stacking them up to move them aside as she brings out another travel document and more receipts. She outlines how the second receipt matched up with the location and the timeline as does the third. Then after the third is when they would have brough you home with them. More receipts of them making purchases for things a baby would need, this time with a credit card, so it was easy to find.

“This is something I’ve come across before when on surveillance. Every time I find something like this and we are suspicious about a particular person, it turns out they are part of the unfound, the ones who don’t know they are supernatural. It usually turns out that a fallen angel or the like, mated with a human and then the heir was abandoned or something similar. It’s typically a supernatural male who impregnates a human female and leaves her behind to have the child and so adoption can tend to be a possibility in these circumstances. But sometimes, things aren’t done legally and then the heir can get lost in the shuffle. It’s hard to keep track of them all and so they can be easy to lose, especially when there’s no official record and the pregnancy wasn’t documented.”

Harry nodded contemplatively, “So did you find that she’s actually supernatural, or?”

Tamie shakes her head and frowns, “Not yet. But, Harry, we are very sure she is. We’ll find out soon enough, but we did have an issue trying to extract a small bit of blood from her so we could take a DNA test.”

“You… what? When did you attempt to do this?” Harry had been with you for most of the last few days. He’d only been away with Aim and right now of course.

“A few hours ago. I went to her home and found her in her bedroom but she got spooked. I was invisible to her but it’s as if my presence had her on edge suddenly. I attempted to touch her with just my finger, as a test, to make sure the touch binding spell was working, but she felt me.” Tamie shook her head and kept her eyes on Harry.

“Why didn’t you just try to go in at night while she was sleeping?” Harry gave Tamie a look of confusion.

Tamie shook her head again and looked down at the paper and then back up to Harry, “It shouldn’t have mattered, Harry. You know that. If she were a normal girl, I would have already had that blood and it would be out for testing as we speak. But, now that we know the extent of her perception and her resistance to certain bindings and spells, I will try an attempt to do this again tonight when she’s in bed.” She lifts her brows as if to ask if he has any more doubts.

Harry had planned on going to see you after he was done with this meeting. He didn’t want anyone to know how fixated he’d become with you and so he suggested something else, “Let me do it. She’s become familiar with me, even trusts me. It will be easier for me to do it.”

Tamie smiled and chuckled, “I knew you would say that. I’d much prefer you to do it anyway. And just so you know, I’ll be watching. I already know far more than you think but I have no plans to share that information because that’s not what I been tasked for, unless you somehow interfere with the investigation then I’ll have to let Aim know about your little fascination with Y/N.”

Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He’s such a dumbass sometimes. Of course the watchers know. Luckily it’s not terribly important that Harry is infatuated with you… yet, “Thank you, Tamie.”

Tamie stacks the paper up again and places it in the file. She tucks it under her arm as she stands up from her chair, “I’ll meet you here in the morning at 9 am to get the sample. Oh!” She stops when she’s near the front door and turns to look to Harry, “We haven’t found anything unusual with Enzo and Gwyn at this point. It looks like they went through illegal adoption channels because they couldn’t financially afford traditional, legal adoption. They seem to not be a big factor in this whole thing, but we’re still looking into it because we never know.”

Harry nodded and walked Tamie to the door, and they bid their farewells. Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. You were on his mind constantly since he’d met you. He had a few more days, give or take, left before he’d need to have intercourse and he doubted that you’d come around by then. That was too fast and as far as he’d gotten with you, he knew you wouldn’t be ready by then. He’d have to go out and find someone to fuck soon. Perhaps Tamie because she would be quite convenient.

In the meantime, he just wanted to be around you again so he took himself to your location and found that you were at someone’s house, Miguel’s house, in his bedroom.

Harry stayed back as far as he could, in hopes that you wouldn’t pick up on his scent but he watched as you and Miguel sat on his bed and chatted. Harry didn’t like how close you were sat to him and how you were holding his hand.

“Are you sure you can’t come? This sucks, Miguel. It’ll be five days at the Falls. It’s so pretty there too.”

“I have to work, Y/N. I couldn’t take off. I know it’ll be fun, I wish I could go too. But you can call me and we can talk every night and you can tell me all about it. How does that sound?” Miguel lowers his head to you to get your eyes on him.

You smile and then let go of Miguel’s hand and lean back with your palms flat behind you, “Amanda and Sarah will be there, so it won’t be bad. Would just be nice if all of us could go together.”

Miguel puts a hand on your knee and squeezes. You are immediately thinking about Harry and how he was a little touchy-feely with you. In fact, you feel like you can smell him a little and you sit up.

“Did you get a new cologne?” You ask Miguel.

Miguel shakes his head, “No. Not wearing cologne right now anyway. Just deodorant.”

You shake your head casually and look around the room. Your head stops and your eyes are directed right toward where Harry is in the room. It’s like you know he’s right in that spot. Harry is sure there’s something about you that’s supernatural. It can’t be denied anymore.

He watches you as you cock your head and squint your eyes, still staring in Harry’s direction, and then you smile and shake your head. Your thoughts are taking you to places they shouldn’t go. Harry’s been on your mind too much and you were worried about it.

You suddenly had the urge to text Harry and invite him to the five day conference at the Holy Falls Forest. Every year, in the summer, your dad and other pastors and leaders host a conference at the tabernacle at Holy Falls. It’s like summer camp for church goers. Morning meetings and prayers, a free afternoon with lunch, then a later afternoon meeting with worship and then evenings free to swim and hike and do whatever you felt like. You loved the grounds at Holy Falls. It’s beautiful and endless. It truly feels like a getaway and you always feel refreshed after attending.

“Miguel?” You suddenly say looking at your boyfriend.

“Yes?” Miguel grins at you and turns his body so he’s facing you.

“Do you want to try kissing? I kind of want to know what it feels like.” You truly were interested in how it would feel – in real life. You would never admit to Miguel that you kissed Harry, the man he thinks of as a stranger and who you’ve been texting the last couple of days, even if it was just in a dream.

“Yes. Now?” Miguel sits up in excitement. He’s been ready. He’s been dying to kiss you.

You nod and bite your lip, “Yeah. Now. Just like a little.”

Miguel scoots his body right next to yours and takes the back of your head into his hand and leans in, “Okay… I’m gonna kiss you…” he closes his eyes and puts his lips onto yours.

Harry rolls his eyes at the ridiculous scene before him. He can practically feel Miguel’s excitement from his spot in the room and he watches as you keep your eyes open and then look up to the ceiling and move your lips slowly.

Miguel moans and you furrow your brow and then push him back and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and laugh, “Okay… enough for now.” You look at Miguel and he’s clearly disappointed that that was all he got.

“Oh… okay. Well, whenever you want to try again, I’m ready.” He laughs and keeps his eyes on you, hoping you’ll want more but you really don’t. You didn’t exactly enjoy what Miguel just did. His lips were too hard and he was too eager. It didn’t feel like it felt in your dream with Harry. But you tried to shake that thought from your mind because that was just a dream.

You stand from Miguel’s bed and turn to him, “I’m gonna go home. Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll see you Sunday?”

Miguel frowns, “Oh… yeah. I mean, you don’t want to hang out on Friday?”

Your eyes widen and you just remembered that you were going to hang out with Miguel on Friday but you’d tentatively also made plans with Harry to go to see your sister’s boyfriend’s band. You’d forgotten about Miguel when you told Harry about that and he seemed interested.

“Uh, maybe… I forgot I was supposed to do something with my sister on Friday, but I’ll let you know if that changes. Maybe I can see you Saturday after you get off work?” You feel bad but not bad enough to cancel plans with the tattooed man. You kind of liked that you had a secret and that it involved Harry. And Harry was pleased.

In your bedroom after dinner you turned on the radio and walked around your room. You went to your closet and began talking to yourself, mumbling things Harry almost couldn’t hear. You pulled out clothes and laid them on your bed and tilted your head looking at your options.

You wanted to figure out what to wear to see Harry on Friday. And then you were reminded that you were going to invite Harry to Holy Falls.

You picked your cellphone up from your nightstand and texted Harry.

To Harry: Next Wednesday through Sunday there’s a big conference at this place called Holy Falls. It’s a beautiful place with a lake, hiking trails, waterfalls, and lots of nature. It’s super fun too!

To Harry: There are cabins to stay in and I think it’s like $100 for the five days and that includes food and lodging and all the activities. Do you want to join? I think it would be fun if you came.

You hit send and then turned back to your outfits. Wanting to look cute on Friday for Harry.

Taking your jeans and t-shirt off, Harry looked at the text you sent him and smiled. Of course he’d go, but he was distracted as he watched you take off your clothes and sample a few things in front of your mirror.

He wanted to get in close to you and put his lips on your neck. He wanted to land his palm over your ass as well. The little panties you were wearing barely covered your full bottom. He so badly wanted you. He would need to find a body to fuck soon. He hadn’t gone so long without having sex in quite a while and he knew you wouldn’t give in to him so soon.

You heard your phone chime and you quickly picked it up to read the text from Harry.

From Harry: Sounds fun. How do I sign up? Still on for this Friday?

You smiled and hummed with a big grin on your face.

To Harry: Yes, still on for Friday. I can meet you at the Union House where he’s playing - and if you come to church on Sunday I can get you a form to fill out so you can sign up and pay.

Harry smiled to himself. He watched as you continued trying on your clothes and talking to yourself.

“This one? Hmmm…” you turned to check out your bottom in the mirror. “Like that?” You brushed your hand over your bottom and smiled at yourself in the mirror. The scent of Harry lingered in your room still. You weren’t sure why it smelled of him so much but you also liked it. It made you feel quite excited. You couldn’t wait to see the handsome man again. You imagined yourself seeing him and what you’d say to one another. You wondered if he’d flirt with you. You wondered if your sister would like Harry or if she’d judge him. She could rude sometimes.

Your sister, Marianna, was quite protective of you. She was ten years older than you. Your mom had Marianna young, your dad was not her father. It was a little bit of a scandal some years ago when the congregation found out the truth, but your mom had been in love with a man before your father and she had Marianna but the man left them. Then your mom met your dad and the rest is history. They had you a little later in life, your mom was in her thirties.

After selecting your outfit for Friday night, you took off your bra and slid your t-shirt back over yourself and climbed into bed. You had another text from Harry you hadn’t seen.

From Harry: I’ll be at church on Sunday, then. Kind of didn’t want to wait to see you until Friday. What are you doing right now?

You felt your heart rate increase. It was past 11pm, and your parents were asleep. You could potentially sneak Harry in if he was quiet. You felt your heart flutter and your nerves peak with anticipation. Biting your lip you responded to him.

To Harry: Okay. Do you want to come to my house? My parents are asleep so you have to be quiet. I don’t think I want to leave tonight and drive anywhere.

Harry internally patted himself on the back. You were already inviting him into your house. Behind Miguel’s back. He could already tell Miguel was on his way out.

From Harry: What’s your address? I can come over now.

You squealed and fell back into your pillows with bright pink cheeks and the largest smile your face could allow.

To Harry: //location pin drop link//

To Harry: That’s where I live.

Harry watched your reaction and he was feeling quite giddy as well. He hadn’t felt excited about anyone in many long decades.

From Harry: Ten minutes away. I’ll text you when I arrive

You rushed off your bed and Harry watched you dash around your room to pick up, mostly just tossing your clothes into your closet. You slid on a pair of shorts and then put a bra on and the t-shirt you were wearing back over it.

Smoothing your hair out in your mirror, you smiled and checked out your teeth and then put your lip balm on. You did a dance-walk across your room and jumped a little at the end, only to turn and do the little walk again – your knees nearly hitting your chest as you tried to expend some of your anxious energy. Hopping around a little with a large smile on your face, you made your way to your window to look out and watch for Harry. You were curious about the kind of car he had.

Approximately ten minutes later a black SUV pulled up across the street from your house and then the car was turned off. No movement right away but you assumed this was Harry. Just then a chime from the text sounded and you pulled it up.

From Harry: here, out front

You squeaked and tossed your phone on your bed and quietly tiptoed through your house to open the front door for Harry. He was walking up to the house just as he saw you opening the door. You held a finger up to your lips as he entered and you closed the door behind him.

You gestured for Harry to follow you to your bedroom. You’d never really done anything like this before, sneaking someone into your house. But Harry was worth it. You really liked him and you wanted his attention on you. Something about him made you feel like you wanted to see him so badly that you’d risk getting into trouble. It had occurred to you, for a just split a second, that you would never do this for Miguel.

Harry was working on keeping his cool as well. His natural inclination was to just take what he wanted, because he wanted it. Desperately. But there was something about the chase for him, the challenge, that made you seem even more delectable.

In your room, with your door closed and the deadbolt in place, just in case, you watched as Harry took in your bedroom. Your room wasn’t much. A basic bedroom. You had a single poster up of the Rolling Stones (which your dad abhorred but your mother approved and her opinion always won out over your dad's) and a framed painting your mom bought you at an art fair a few years ago. You had a few little fun things around the room, but for the most part your room consisted of a bed, a dresser, a closet, a stand with books, radio, nick knacks, two bedside tables, a stand-up mirror, and a window with yellow curtains.

But Harry knew your room well at this point. He turned to you and grinned, “So, why’d you invite me over here. What does your boyfriend think about that?” Harry knew you hadn’t told Miguel. Of course you wouldn’t.

“Oh… well, he doesn’t know. And… I wanted you to come over because I can’t really go anywhere and you wanted to hang out, so…”

Harry tsk’d at you, “Liar. Are you telling me you snuck me into your parent’s house at night, into your bedroom, and locked the door behind us so no one could accidently barge in because I asked you what you were doing?”

You felt embarrassed. Harry was good at making you feel uncomfortable but strangely, you really liked it. You enjoyed him calling you out or saying things that made you squirm.

You swallowed and chuckled, looking down to your bare feet, “No. Guess not.” You spoke timidly.

Harry closed the space between you and softly placed a finger under your chin and nudged your face upward to look at him, “Then why?” He dropped his finger but continued looking at you, waiting for you to be honest with him. He knew why, he wanted to hear it though.

You inhaled his scent and it made you feel like there wasn’t anyone else in the world except you and Harry. You couldn’t get over it, how he smelled and how he spoke to you. It was like magic how you felt all these things for him when you’d never even felt this way about your own boyfriend.

“Because…” you breathed out, struggling to keep your eyes on his but determined to be open with him, because what did you have to lose? “I wanted you here. I like you.” You whispered the last sentence but Harry heard it loud and clear. His grin grew larger.

“Yeah? You want me around? Because you like me?” Harry loved this. Loved hearing you tell him that you liked him. He needed more, though. He really wanted to hear you just adoring him but he knew to take it slow. Harry was sort of eager to hear some praise from you.

You bit your lips and chuckled, looking down for a moment before bringing your eyes back up to Harry and nodded with your lips tucked into your mouth. You were embarrassed.

“It’s okay if you like me, Y/N. Sometimes you can’t control the way you feel for another person. Sometimes there’s a connection between two people that just can’t be ignored. Chemistry. That’s how I feel with you. The moment I saw you, I wanted to know you. We have chemistry. I think even Miguel knows it. There’s no denying is there? Do you feel it too?”

Harry brought one of his hands forward and brushed his knuckles against yours, looping a couple of fingers around your palm as he watched you and then let go. It was just a brief touch and you didn’t want him to let go. The touch from his fingers sent sparks of electricity through your hand and up your arm.

You grasped onto his hand that he just released from you and held on. You looked up to him and nodded, “Yeah. I do. I can’t explain it. What do you think it means?”

Harry squeezes your hand back and smiles down at you, “I think it means we try and find out what it means. Together. I don’t want to interfere with your relationship with Miguel, though. I’m not here to break up love. I just, I don’t know. There’s something about you, Y/N. It’s really up to you how we proceed.” Harry was proud of that spiel. Just emotional and dramatic enough that you were swooning.

Harry’s lips looked so pink and so plush at this moment. You’d noticed his lips plenty before, but right now, it was like… you couldn’t take your eyes off his mouth. And he noticed it too, the way you kept looking down at his lips.

“What do you want, Y/N? I know what I want but it depends on you what happens here.”

You nodded and blinked your eyes at Harry, “You’re right. I need to…” you sighed, and you knew it was the right decision, “… break up with Miguel. He wouldn’t like any of this and it wouldn’t be fair to him.”

Harry nodded and you watched as his eyes lowered to your lips and down your figure, back up to your eyes. It made you feel like you were floating away, losing balance, just the way he looked at you. He brought his free hand up to your cusp your cheek in his palm. He ran his thumb over your cheekbone gently. He looked over your face and down to your lips again. He still didn’t have you figured out quite yet but he knew he was getting close.

You could do nothing but to stand still, under his spell, looking into his eyes. Harry wanted to lean down and kiss you but he was stuck between wanting you to ask him and just making the first move. Sure he’d kissed you before, but you were under the impression that was all a dream. This would be real to you and he wasn’t sure how far you were willing to go. Fuck he was soft for you. If only you knew all the ways in which Harry has bent to your will since he met you, you’d realize he was an absolute sap for you. A complete fool. Even he wasn't quite ready to admit that to himself yet.

With Harry’s close proximity and the way he was looking at you, you thought he might lean down to plant a kiss on your mouth but he didn’t. You were a little disappointed. He seemed so forward and confident that you assumed he'd make the first move. You were a bit shy to ask him to kiss you. Even when you asked Miguel to do it, you had to brace yourself for spitting it out, taking the step to speak the words into existence.

“Harry?” You started with just saying is name. It could give you a moment to think about what you wanted. Buy you some time while you got up the courage to ask him to kiss you.

“Yes, Y/N. What is it?” He continued gently brushing his thumb over your cheek. But Harry knew you were struggling to work up the confidence to ask him what you wanted to. He brought his thumb downward to barely brush at the edge of your mouth, watching as your breath caught in your chest. He needed you to want it so bad you’d ask him. In all honesty he wanted you to beg him, that was his ideal scenario but he had a feeling that somehow you’d have him begging you at some point. You already had so much sway and power over him.

The feeling of Harry’s warm thumb grazing the edge of your mouth was the sexiest thing you’d ever had happen to you. You’d be imagining this moment for many years to come. The tall man stood before you patiently, silently waiting for you to speak.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You scrunched your face in embarrassment and looked down, but Harry’s hand on your cheek lowered to your jaw, which he titled upward. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed or take your eyes off him.

With your eyes back on him Harry smiled softly at you, his eyes looking over your face and down to your lips, “I have been dying to kiss you. Do you want to kiss me?” He leaned in closer to you, just waiting for the word. He could feel you tremble from nerves.

You nodded and looked down at his pink lips and then back to his eyes, your mouth parting slightly at the anticipation. Your heart was raging in your chest and you were shaking as if you were cold but it was warm in your bedroom.

“Yes.” You breathed out in a whisper. Still feeling the sting of embarrassment at speaking such a thing to a near-stranger. But you felt like you’d gotten to know Harry well over the last couple of days. All the texts back and forth and the conversation at the café. He was no longer a stranger.

Yes, was all you needed to say. Harry brought his other hand up to your face, cupping both cheeks in his palms he brought you closer to him as he lowered his face to feather his lips over yours. You could feel his warm breath on you and his scent was strong and unlike anything you’d smelt on anyone. It was inviting and sexy. It made you desire to do more than just kiss him.

When you puckered your lips in an effort to press them into Harry’s you closed your eyes as your world spun out from under you. Harry began to apply more pressure and his lips were now in synch with yours. You brought your hands up his back and closed the space between your bodies so you could experience him fully.

Harrys soft lips were slow and achingly gentle on yours. You didn’t have much practice but your instincts provided you with just enough understanding to open and close your mouth around his lips, pacing your movements with his.

Harry’s tongue smoothed over your lips and you opened your mouth for him. He wasted no time in showing you what it felt like to have a passionate kiss that made you feel weak in the knees. The kind you’d read about or heard about. You hummed at the feeling of Harry’s tongue licking into your mouth and your senses were fading so that there was little thought in the way you moved with him. Your hormones led you and you stuck your own tongue out to participate in kissing Harry with more feeling.

Suddenly, with Harry’s lips still on yours, he nudged you back toward your bed. When the back of your knees hit your mattress you plopped down and Harry climbed right over you, moving you up your mattress. His hands were holding at your ribs as he adjusted your position, but he kept his mouth over yours.

You put your hands on his shoulders and kept your eyes closed, basking in the sensation of being kissed, really kissed. Harry reluctantly moved his mouth from yours and he gasped. You were a natural. He loved the way you kissed him and he wanted more. It made him dizzy and horny. Harry needed badly to take care of his sexual urge and he knew you weren’t going to provide him with any relief in the way his body required. Not tonight anyway.

You watched as Harry scooted next to you and sat upright with his back to the headboard, "Climb up, into my lap.” He patted his thigh.

You were quick to comply, crawling over him and spreading your thighs around his as you moved yourself up his lap and settled your bottom down, facing him. You put your hands at his shoulders and Harry grabbed your wasted and pulled you even closer to him so your centers were smashed together. Harry’s lips found yours again as soon as he had you as close as you could be on his lap and you both continued lapping at one another and feeling lust bubble from your insides.

It didn’t take you long to feel it. Harry under your shorts, pressing into you right where you like your fingers when you get yourself off. But you were clothed and so was he, so it wasn’t that bad, right? Out of impulse you softly wiggled your hips downward over him and Harry hadn’t really expected it, but then again, maybe he wasn’t too surprised. You were a horny little thing, he knew it. And now that he was going to be around you more often he’d see to it that you stayed this way, so that eventually, you’d give in to him.

Harry placed his hands at your hips and pressed you down over him causing you moan and you backed away for a moment. All of the features on your face told Harry you wanted him. Your dilated pupils, your swollen lips, the way your mouth was parted, pink cheeks.

“I can’t. I mean, I don’t know if we should do this.” You were referring to the tiny bit of dry humping that had begun. It was just a little but it had you aching to be put out of your misery. And Harry was aching as well.

“S’okay. We won’t do anything you don’t want. Only want you to feel comfortable.” Harry was dying inside. He could tear your clothes off and fuck you right now, take your virginity and get you pregnant with his child. You’d probably like it too. He could smell you.

You nodded and smiled, sliding your hands down to his chest. You really liked Harry. He was so sweet and so patient with you. He seemed like a man with experience. You were sure of it, yet he was here with you, a virgin. You couldn’t understand what he saw in you, why he’d waste his time with you.

You bit your lip and looked up at your ceiling. You were facing quite the conundrum. You wanted to know what it would feel like to do a little more with him, but you were scared to sin further than what you already had.

“Do you…” you looked back to Harry and took a breath before continuing, “um… like me? Like, enough that you want to get to know me more?” You didn’t know how to ask him what you wanted. You were about to break up with Miguel and now that you were doing this with Harry you wanted to make things official and fast so you felt less like a slut. So it all felt worth it.

Harry, being quite observant and intuitive understood your need to confirm his feelings for you over and over again. He knew you’d want him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Normally he’d feel like this was a silly thing, a waste and he’d do it only to secure a future lay, but you were different and he couldn’t lie and tell himself this didn’t pull a smile over his face.

“I do like you. A whole lot. I already told you, there’s something about you. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same now that I’ve met someone like you. What about you? Do you like me too?”

You quickly nodded and sighed at his words, “Yes! I really do. I feel the same, Harry.” You smiled and Harry nudged his nose to yours and kissed you again, slowly, softly, with just the tiniest bit of tongue that had your panties slick and sticky and smelly (you could smell and so could Harry).

Harry released your mouth, grinning at you, “Yeah? That’s music to my ears. You’re gonna make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?” Harry was piling on the lovey dovey stuff. He knew you’d like it. And the sooner he could make you fall in love the sooner you’d allow him to take your virginity.

You giggled and shook your head, “You’re not serious.” You laughed out as you spoke.

Harry titled his head to the side and squinted at you with a frown, “Why don’t you think I’m serious? Have I not shown you how much I like you since day one? I really, really like you, Y/N. Like, more than you understand.”

You swallow and your heart is swelling at his words. He really likes you. It makes you feel gooey and melty and so excited.

“I don’t know. I just feel so, like, this isn’t real. Like you’re a dream. Like you’re too interesting and smart for me.”

Harry’s frowned deepened, “Fuck that. You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short like that. And this is real. Get used to it.”

A ghost of a smile fell over your features at Harry’s words. He was making you blush and you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

Harry squeezed at your hips and then brought a hand up to cup the side of your face again, brushing his thumb up and down your cheek, “In fact. I want you to be my girlfriend. I know you haven’t broken up with Miguel, but I want you to be mine. Do you want that too?”

This was what you wanted. A confirmation of his feelings by way of commitment. You nodded, “Yes. I do. I want to be with you. I promise I’ll break up with Miguel tomorrow.”

Harry couldn’t give a fuck about Miguel but he did want you to be his alone. He felt possessive over you and if he had the chance, he’d flaunt it in Miguel’s face on Sunday. He was quite thrilled by this idea.

“Yeah? You want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?” Harry dipped his face close to yours, his lips over your jaw and you closed your eyes.

When Harry peppered small kisses over your jaw and down your neck you panted and rocked into him. The way it felt to have warm, wet kisses drawn down your neck by Harry’s lips couldn’t be explained. And he was your boyfriend now. Everything felt so surreal and sudden but it was earth shattering. Nothing would be the same for you from now on. You knew it. There was a shift in energy around you and you were prepared for it because Harry was part of that. Harry wasn’t the kind of guy your parents would be happy about. They barely tolerated you dating Miguel. And you almost broke up with Miguel to make your dad happy, even though he never asked you to do such a thing. But, you knew it right now, if your dad asked you to break up with Harry directly, you wouldn't.

When you began to slowly shift your hips and grind over Harry he realized you really liked having your neck kissed. He gently licked your skin and nipped at you, sucking lightly and then kissing down further. You moaned and your core tingled in delight. You knew you were rocking yourself over Harry’s hard penis. He was hard for you and that sent bubbles and sparks up your body, knowing you had done that to him.

He felt so good under you and his mouth on your neck made your mind blank, your only concern was the carnal need you had for Harry. And Harry wanted you to get what you needed from him. Even if he couldn't get what he needed. He'd let you use his big cock to rub yourself over and find relief if you needed to.

Harry gently lifted his hips upward for you as he draped kisses all over your neck and up to your jaw. He was solid in his pants and it hurt a little to have you smashing over him the way you were. But he loved a little pain so it was no deterrent for him.

Your movements became a little more hastened as you humped Harry’s clothed cock feeling the tell-tell tingle of your impending orgasm. When you moaned a little too loudly Harry brought his mouth over yours and you felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest.

With Harry’s lips smoothed over yours and your clit rubbed at the fabric of your wet panties over Harry you felt your body begin to give in to pleasure. You were at the point of no return now. If God was watching you, you couldn’t have cared in that moment. Harry was too good and he was all you wanted.

Harry’s lips on yours caught your moans and you began to see stars as you rubbed your clit just right over his firm penis. The friction was perfect and your orgasm boiled out into your panties and over your thighs.

Harry had to cover your mouth with his hand. Kissing you wasn’t doing the trick in keeping you quiet. He knew you were coming and his own heart was pounding from the experience with you. He couldn’t come like this. Harry needed a bit more, but he was certainly pleased at how you’d given in to him, even if it was just dry humping. He realized he had quite the effect on you and that fed his ego quite well.

With his lips at your neck and his hand on your mouth you groaned into his palm at the feeling of coming like this. It was a first for you. It’d always been by your own hand in private. But this was better than doing it alone.

When you’d finally quieted down a bit and stopped your hips from moving Harry released your mouth. You lazily opened your eyes to look at the man with dark pupils and flared nostrils. He was so turned on and horny it was ridiculous. He’d need to find a way to release ASAP. Tonight.

Harry tried to be as gentle and caring with you as possible when he took a sample of your blood while you were coming. It was easy. He took what he needed quickly, completing the task for Tamie.

He also tried to be as gentle and caring with you as he made an excuse to leave shortly after you'd orgasmed. He tucked you into your bed, kissing your face all over, and told you he’d let himself out. You were nearly asleep by the time Harry was already reaching out to Tamie on his way home to let her know he’d already gotten the sample. He was also motivated to call her over early so he could have a warm body to fuck. He needed a release immediately. After having you rub yourself over him like that, your scent all over him, the front of his pants still damp with you, he was in physical pain. And for his own health, he needed it as well.

Tamie questioned Harry at first, “I can come over in the morning to get it, as we planned.”

Harry shook his head and adjusted his heavy cock, “Can you come over now? Please?”

Tamie knew the reason. She was aware of what had happened in your room and that Harry was left hanging. She also knew his health would suffer if he went too long. So, for the sake of balance and because Harry was very attractive (as incubi tended to be) she relented.

Harry didn’t take long to get right down to it when Tamie arrived. He was whining and groaning as soon as his pants came off. Tamie wasn’t a stranger to sex with incubi. She loved the feel of them. Their large cocks, the best in kingdom of Hell.

And because Tamie was a fallen angel, he didn’t need to prep her before slamming into her cunt. She could handle it, and it felt good.

Harry fucked her insides and kept his eyes closed as he drove into Tamie. He pretended he was fucking you, dipping down into your tummy and pushing your insides apart. Tamie knew what this was. Just a need to be fulfilled. Nothing more. She wasn’t hurt by it or turned off. No hard feelings. She was just a warm hole to get him off until he could get inside of you. But she was using Harry just the same. She had her own sexual needs as well. Tamie had no trouble getting her needs met, she was gorgeous and men fawned over her but it was always a bonus when the man was an incubus. Typically human men would be falling over her but sex with humans wasn't always what it's cracked up to be.

“Fuck, Harry. Yes… ohhhh…” Harry slapped his hand over Tamie’s mouth. He didn’t want to hear her voice, only yours. Hearing Tamie’s voice and not yours nearly ruined his orgasm. He began to tremble as he was about to come. And as much as he was using Tamie he still wanted her to get off (for his own ego). He was desperate to come, hadn’t been so worked up in a long time. In fact, this was the first time in many long years that he had to hold himself back from coming too soon.

“Come on my cock, Y/N. Let me feel you…” he had no shame in calling Tamie by your name and Tamie was too far gone to even worry about it. She nodded and slid her hand down to her clit to speed up her approaching end. She squeezed her eyes closed as she came and moaned into Harry’s hand loudly.

As soon as Harry felt Tamie pulsing around him Harry released into her, driving his cock deep and stilling his hips, come coating her insides. Harry could control who he got pregnant. His sperm would only impregnate when he was ready for it. This was just for sex. This was just to release. It was needed. Necessary.

Harry sent Tamie on her way with the sample of blood and he finally felt normal again. He really needed that. He hadn’t realized going five days without intercourse (something he hadn’t done in many hundreds of years) would take such a toll on his mind and body. He felt like he could think more clearly and breath a little better now. He just hoped you’d be ready for him soon. He didn’t want to be putting his cock in anyone else at the moment. Not that he didn’t enjoy Tamie’s cunt. She felt very good around him and she was pretty but he only wanted you. Only wanted your scent covering him, your moans filling his ears, your eyes on him as you came… He couldn’t wait to corrupt you.

Part 6*

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[ayamturd]

brother│sbi family

summary: y/n will always stand by their brothers no matter the hardship or challenges they should overcome in the end.

song: Brother by Kodaline

warnings: angst to fluff(?), cursing, blood/gore descriptions, death, slight spoliers for dsmp

pairing: in-game platonic!sbi family

a/n: i heard this song the other day and knew i had to give it a try (give it a listen!). also, each section/scene change is supposed to show a period of growth for the reader, both in age and confidence wise. as always, pls feel free to comment or give feedback!

wc: (4.1k) - m.list

When we were young we were the ones

The kings and queens oh yeah, we ruled the world

“Techno, wait!” 

“Keep up then, slow poke!” 

Technoblade and y/n were running through the village, laughing like madmen while jumping over the hay bales serving as their mini obstacle course. They were passing the time while Dadza finished his tradings with Wilbur, him volunteering to assist in hopes of exploring the market place. As they continued their chase, Technoblade began to gain a lead; his long limbs giving him a far unfair advantage against his smaller sibling. He was nearing the local well in the town square, and y/n knew they would have to take drastic measure before he could claim victory. 

Quickly assessing their surroundings, y/n grabbed the first product they could snatch off the closest stand. They beamed it at Techno, the potato hitting him on the back of his head, causing him to falter and trip over his hooves. Y/n leaped over him, grin wide when hearing the vendor and their brother yell after them.

“Y/n! What gives?!” Technoblade scrambled up in a hurry, rushing to meet their stride. Y/n only cackled, shouting back, “hey, it’s like you once said, ‘What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.’”

The sun beamed down in the late afternoon, yet y/n was too driven to notice. They reached the center square and rang the bell, signifying their win. “I regret teaching you the ways of Sun Tzu.” Technoblade was panting with his hands on his knees; he had tried to catch up given his fall slowing him down, but ended up running in vain to his defeat.

“Ahh you don’t mean that now, do you?” Y/n climbed up the well and jumped on Technoblade’s shoulders, forcing him to adjust to the sudden weight while they gripped his pink hair. He grunted, “I do if it means you beating me.” Y/n giggled. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll always remember your miserable loss as the origin of my success.” 

“Gee, thanks.” Despite their bickering, the two children held large smiles, snickering while spinning carefree and contently. They tuned out the world, purely existing in the moment while conquering each trivial challenge at a time.

We've taken different paths

“Come on, y/n, you’ve got to let go some time or another.” Y/n clung onto Wilbur’s side, curled into his chest while the lanky man hovered his arms above them.

“Not until you hug me back, you jerk!” Wilbur sighed, pulling them in again. “I already hugged you in the house. We’re not gonna be here for another 10 minutes, right? You know how impatient Tommy can be.”

“Alright, fine you dickhead. I’ll let you go. See if I care the next time you want a hug,” y/n huffed. They pulled away in haste and crossed their arms, turning away from him completely. 

“You’re such a cry baby, s’not like we’ll be gone forever. Can visit and shit,” Tommy spoke up, walking towards the pair with his saddle in hand.

“Shut up, bitch. I won’t miss you anyway, I was talking to Wilbur.”

“Like hell you won’t!”

Wilbur stepped between the two, hand on Y/n’s shoulder and a push to Tommy’s face. “Maybe it’s best that we’re leaving, y/n. Tommy’s obviously influenced you too much.”

“Why the hell you say that like it’s a bad thing?!”

“Ugh, God please no.”

Despite all odds, y/n was the shortest in the family compared to all the boys. They were forced to look up at Tommy while he glared down at their smug face. 

Phil came forward from the house and chose to stand besides y/n. “I’ve only just gotten them to leave, don’t tell me you’re holding them down any longer.” Y/n muttered a small no. Wilbur and Tommy looked offended at the comment, and Phil only chuckled at the sight. “You’ll see them soon, y/n. You know they’ve been waiting for the opportunity to explore, and one day you’ll take your chance too.”

“Yeah, I know,” y/n sighed and leaned into Phil’s side. They were openly pained to have their brothers leave their home, disliking the idea of their family separated, yet they knew they didn’t have the right to stop them from their ambitions.

Phil checked over their supplies once more before patting their shoulders with encouraging words. Giving them room, the brothers mounted their horses and pulled the reins to the East, taking one final glance at their home. They both waved and rode off. 

The sun laid above the horizon, strips of color spread across the sky as night began to fall. Though they were too far to hear, y/n waited a moment before speaking. “Till next time.” 

And travelled different roads

“You can’t be serious.”

“You rather I leave them to die?” Technoblade was packing, grabbing his best weaponry and stuffing rations into his satchel. Although contemplating to bring his armor, he opted out of it in favor of traveling light. Y/n was trailing behind the large piglin, eyes irritated and upset. 

“How can you say that? I’m only concerned on why you think a revolution is what they need right now!” Technoblade spun around at their words, standing above them menacingly. Any rational person would be afraid if it weren’t for the fact that they grew up together. 

“Y/n. You and I both know there’s a reason they called me and me alone. I’m going there to help and do what is ask of me. What else do you expect from all of this?” Technoblade spoke steadily, his chin still raised while his eyes looked down at them. It only angered y/n more. 

“What I expect, Technoblade, is for you to be their brother and help them! Be their brother for once and not just ‘the Blood God’!” Y/n emphasized each point with a jab to his chest. It was rare for the two to fight at all, them being considerably close and maintaining the same idealization for the most part. 

Techno only narrowed his eyes before grabbing y/n’s wrist. “We’ve talked about this, y/n. Don’t act like you don’t understand the difference between ‘the Blood God’ and myself. Don’t act like there is a difference at all.” There was a slight pause as y/n’s eyes widen at their close proximity, Technoblade having had moved closer towards their face.

“… you’re hurting me, Techno.” Glancing down at their hands, Technoblade immediately let go and grabbed his crossbow behind y/n, leaving the room as if the conversation never happened. Y/n was quick to follow him before he left the house. 

They screamed out, “This isn’t right, Techno! For their sakes, you and that tactical brain of yours should realize that at the very least!” Technoblade stopped near the exit and tilted his head to the left, a brief silence before speaking. “If you weren’t so afraid of the world, you could always go save them yourself.”

He slammed the front door close at that, leaving a still y/n in shock at his words. The night was dead quiet as y/n stood there for some time, a ringing silence impeding the air. Phil came down the hallway from his room, tired yet aware of the situation; he was admittedly awake during the argument. “Are you alright, dear?” His voice was soft as he was unsure of y/n’s current emotions, their back to him while facing the front door. Y/n turned towards him with teary eyes.

“No.”

And when you're in the trenches

And you're under fire I will cover you

“Ya’ know what, Wilbur?” Tommy was sitting on a furnace, Wilbur leaning against the cavern walls across him. They were both eating dinner together in the dark, dimly lit and empty space, the only sound coming further down the cave where Technoblade farmed until Tommy spoke up. Raising a hand to chew, Wilbur swallowed before asking a what?

“I’m getting real sick of potatoes.” They both laughed at that, temporarily finding joy in the small joke before fading back into a helpless silence. They were still reeling from their situation; no home, no friends, no government to stand with. While they were in the presence of their brother, Technoblade was focused on their main goal: revolution. Even through perseverance, the brothers couldn’t help but feel exhausted from the efforts, the previous war having taken a toll in spite of the approaching age of a new one.

“I miss home,” Tommy expressed, eyes trained to the ground. Wilbur stared at the boy before looking down at the baked potato in hand. “Me too.” 

A sudden noise came from above, as if someone broke down their stone entrance. Although Pogtopia had gained an underground support from the citizens of Manberg, their location was still undisclosed to the others, secret letters and Tubbo being the only communication. Grabbing his sword, Tommy nodded to Wilbur and headed up the steep stairway. Wilbur briefly looked up and ran to warn Technoblade of a possible intruder. 

Weapon in hand, Tommy creeped up the path determined. Footsteps echoed underground and Tommy paused to push himself against the wall. The light of a lantern glowed ever so brighter with each approaching step behind the corner above. Right as he rose to strike, a familiar voice spoke out. 

“You’re not seriously going stab me now, right?” Tommy’s gaze shot up to see his sibling smirk at his surprise. “Cause that would suck after traveling this whole way to see you idiots.”

Tommy laughed breathlessly in disbelief before shouting their name for all to hear. He ran up to quickly embrace them and pulled them down to meet the rest. Technoblade and Wilbur visibly relaxed at the sigh of the two, weapons dropping to their side.

“You’re here,” Technoblade stated, his eyebrows raised unexpectedly. Expression neutral, y/n only spared him a glance before looking to the side. “I’m here.” 

Wilbur ignored the small tension and walked forward, a soft smile at the sight of them with his arms raised. “Am I still allowed to ask for that hug?” Y/n grinned and let him engulf them in a hug. They squeezed his torso tight while they swayed slightly side to side. Tommy, elated to see his sibling for the first time in practically years, vocalized his excitement loudly behind the embracing pair.

“Are you here to help us fight?!”

Y/n hesitated before turning back to smile wearily, “I’m here to help you in any way I can.”

If I was dying on my knees

You would be the one to rescue me

“You want to be a hero, Tommy?”

The battlefield was suspended in apprehension, everyone amassed on the small platform above the caved in trench. Standing before them, separated by the broken landscape, Technoblade held large, black skulls in each hand. In front of him, two structures of sand guarding his sides. He was perched over them, eyes red in blood-like fury with tusks that pointed in pride and determination. Y/n gaped in horror at the sight, whispering a small no that fell on deaf ears. 

“Then die like one!”

A sudden light blinded the field, Technoblade having had completed the ancient ritual due for destruction. Before anyone could collet their thoughts, a small force pushed everyone back. Strong winds blew as dust covered the the terrain, and from the ashes of white fire rose two mythological beasts with holo eyes and a grotesque body of dark bones. There was a beat of stillness before chaos erupted.

Yelling and panic ensued as some began fighting the monstrosities while others worked to kill those preventing the end. Y/n felt lost as others pushed and pulled them every way. They tried looking for their brothers, crying out their names in the frantic space, but could no longer define anyone in the tumultuous crowd overwhelming them. 

By the time they were able to separate themself from the group, a building hum penetrated from above. Explosions descended around them as they became trapped by the blasts. Arms covered and crouched close to the ground, Y/n was helpless to the wither, and they stared in dread as the creature began to glow to attack once more. 

Before they met their final end, however, colors invaded the sky and erupted against the wither’s side. It roared in rage at the measly ambush and turned to find the source. Y/n was still frozen in the futile position, but was hoisted from behind and dragged up the small crater entrapping them. 

Technoblade let go of their weight once on solid ground again and stepped away immediately. Y/n, wheezing from the realization they could have died, turned to look up at their brother while still laying on the ground. Arms beneath them, they struggled to raise their head to him. 

“Why, Tech,” y/n exasperated, eyes begging for a justification for more destruction beyond that of their recent brother’s death. Tears fell in anguish of the devastation around them. “Just why?”

“Not everyone can be saved. Not everything is worth being saved.”

And if you were drowned at sea

I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe

“Come on Toms, stay with me now.” Pulling with all their might, y/n grappled the thin boy through the water as they fought to swim against the current in the rising dawn. As they crawled onto the sandy shores, the heavy weight of being completely soaked left them restless on the beach. Taking a moment to breathe, y/n gathered their strength before rushing to Tommy’s side.

“Come on, Tommy. You can’t do this to me now.” Y/n laid him completely flat and started to push his chest in rhythmic beats, shoving down as hard as they could to save him. 

He was already incredibly pale from the cold depths of the water, and y/n could only assume he had been in the water for some time before they arrived. 

Every so often they would glance to discern any movement or change but would go back to focusing on reviving their brother entirely. As more time passed and Tommy refused to move, Y/n grew frustrated and speed up their pace harshly, tears clouding their vision despite their resolution. “Please, Tommy. Please. I can’t lose another one of you. Not again.”

With a sudden twitch, Tommy jerked before coughing up water and trembling with the rush of air to his lungs. Y/n looked up to the green horizon and closed their eyes in relief, tears streaming down their cheeks before they reached down to hold the boy close. Gently bring him into their arms and caressing his long wet hair, Tommy continued to draw breaths with his arm hung limply around them. He clutched the fabric on their shoulder, whimpering in a small voice,

“Y/n? Are you really here this time?” Y/n squeezed him tighter.

“It’s really me, Toms. I’m here. And I’m never leaving you again.”

And if we hit on troubled water

I'll be the one to keep you warm and safe

“This is not a trial, Technoblade.” Quackity motioned to the anvil strung above the stage, beaming at the seething piglin through the bars of the cage. “This is an execution. We are going to kill you.” 

Hidden beneath the breath of night while under the effects of the invisible potion, y/n observed from the roof of a nearby house. Although they kept their distance from everyone in their family besides Tommy, y/n couldn’t ignore the apparent ‘Butcher Army’ when they passed through the forest where they were collecting wood, their brother strung behind them as if on a leash. 

Y/n glared at the immaturity of the young boys, despising the belief that more death will create peace in a land built on bloodshed. While their relationship with Technoblade was rough considering their last encounter, they couldn’t deny the fact that he had a right to hold his certain principles and acted out in aggression to the others’ mistreatment; though arguably to an extreme.

Their gaze shifted when the mercenary, Punz, announced his arrival with thrown snowballs and began spreading TNT as an apparent distraction. Deciding to aid in the diversion, y/n pulled arrows out of their quiver and aimed to target the boys when they tried to assault him. 

“Where the hell did that come from?!” Fundy screeched out in revelation after barely managing to dodge an incoming arrow to the leg. Despite all efforts, Quackity realized their intentions and ran to pull the level. As he let out a joyous shout, y/n dropped their bow in fear, eyes trained on the falling anvil before it was meant to strike and scrambled to their feet. To their astonishment and utter relief, a faint, green glow emitted once Technoblade was supposedly killed. The Blood God had escape death. What a surprise.

Y/n watched as Technoblade climbed swiftly out of the cage and followed a green figure mounted on his horse through a tunnel hidden beneath a stone hill. They knew from pass whispers and Tommy’s harsh words that it was the warrior, Dream, having had only seen the daunting smiling face in a blur during the war. They were aware of the torment the man had caused to their family, both in the war and in Tommy’s exile.

Sliding down the tile roof, y/n jumped off the building and maneuvered their way down, ignoring the stare of their imprisoned father on top of the nearby balcony as the potion’s effects started to fade. They noticed Quackity trace the foot steps of Technoblade’s hooves, and stalked behind him as he entered the small hole. Pausing before leaping in themself, y/n looked up to see Dream already staring down at them, arms crossed and in wait. 

He stared at them expectantly, which made y/n’s patience wear thin once hearing Quackity lowly state how he planned to kill Technoblade then and there. Narrowing their eyes in annoyance, y/n gave Dream a final glare and blocked off the entrance once entering. 

They pulled out their axe and treaded quietly down the tunnel before pausing behind the broken wall to an old vault full of chests. 

“—nd I don’t care how long it fucking takes me, or what I have to do to get you, Techno. I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“I just have on question, Quackity.” Technoblade paused as Quackity asked him to continue.

“Do you think you’re enough, to kill me? Even unarmed, with iron armor?” They both ever so slightly gripped their weapons tighter, stance shifted as they prepared to fight.

“You know what? Let’s fucking find out, you son of a bitch!” Their weapons clashed as they dodged the blow from one another. Quackity delivered each blow with blind determination while Technoblade played defense with each graceful side step. Eventually, Technoblade knocked his pickaxe into his face, Quackity yelping in pain and holding a hand to cover the wound. 

When turning his back to move further down the tunnel, Technoblade risked leaving himself vulnerable to the crazed butcher. Quackity stood despite his injury and tried to attack him from behind.

Y/n took the opportunity to run towards him, axe prepared to strike. Before Quackity could turn to defend himself, y/n swung the axe into his neck. Blood instantly pooled at the cut as he struggled to breathe, and y/n ripped their blade from his flesh. He fell to his knees while grasping helplessly at his wound, choking on his blood before falling to the side. 

While they had a distaste for violence, unlike their brother, y/n couldn’t excuse the attempted murder of their family by any means. 

Technoblade stared in reverence, eyes darting between Quackity’s slump figure and his sibling covered in an excessive amount of blood from the attack. Y/n stepped forward and grabbed a lead from their belt, having previously found it abandoned in the snow. No words were exchanged as they silently pulled Carl through the sewer system, blood casually staining the water as they walked through. Technoblade only spoke once they reach the surface.

“Pog.”

And we'll be carrying each other

Until we say goodbye on our dying day

“Are you alright, y/n?”

Broken sobs become shuddered breathes as y/n hears the voice of their late brother. They lifted their eyes from beneath their arms that held their legs together while pushed against the very corner of the room, their current position reminding Ghostbur how small anyone could look when upset. Ghostbur slightly frowned at their lack of response, floating closer to them to observe their tears, lighting the space slightly with a soft glow. 

“What’s wrong?” Despite the innocence behind his echoed voice, y/n couldn’t help the pain from hearing his concern. “Nothing that matters, Ghostbur. Nothing that anyone could fix anyway.”

Ghostbur didn’t like that response, refusing to believe that sadness could exist without a solution to bring an end to despair. He reached into his pocket, hands carefully holding some dye out towards y/n.

Y/n tilted their head in confusion, tears having stopped running but still present. “What is it?”

“It’s blue! Here, here, take some.” Ghostbur placed the colored substance into their cupped palms, explaining its significance with a gentle smile. “See, when someone is very angry or sad, the blue sucks away all your sadness and turns blue! And what you can do, is you can throw the blue away, and that’s all your sadness gone.”

Although strange and futile, y/n couldn’t help the smile form on their face from Ghostbur’s clarification. Ghostbur gasped excessively, causing y/n to chuckle lightly. “It worked! Do you feel better now, y/n? I have more blue if you need as well!” Pulling an incredible amount that began to pile on the floor in front of them, y/n giggled at the sight.

Y/n wiped their eyes with the back of their hand, breathing in and out to recollect themself. “Thank you, Ghostbur. Never change your wonderful self.” The ghost grinned brightly at that.

“Of course, Y/n! Never change your caring self either!”

Oh brother, we'll go deeper than the ink

Beneath the skin of our tattoos

“I have to ask, Y/n. Why choose them?” Y/n stood before Dream in their kitchen, the man having had shown up unannounced at their front door and began asking vague questions. 

“What do you mean?” Y/n was unnerved by his demeanor, never having held a conversation, let alone utter a word, with him before despite small, yet silent encounters. They refused to show discomfort, though they didn’t have a mask to cover every waver in their voice or their jaw visibly tighten.

“Oh, you know.”  He turned to walk around the small living space, hand skimming over a chest surface before continuing to speak ominously. “Time and time again, I’ve seen you run and fall to your knees for your so-called family. Yet as time continues on, I’ve seen them give you nothing in return.” He paused and faced them again. “What’s the point of saving something that does nothing but hold you down?”

Though we don't share the same blood

Y/n crossed their arms in defiance, finally understanding his intentions and glowered at his objective.

“You wouldn’t understand, Dream. Even if you tried.” He looked confused at their response, tilting his head slighting while his masked continued the same haunting smile. Y/n smirked.

“Your seen weakness gives me strength. I fight for everything because of them. Your lack of attachment leaves you nothing to gain.” Dream bent forward in mocking interest, though y/n knew better than to give in. “Is that so?”

“You tell me. Who will come running to your aid when your lies eventually catch up, and everyone realizes the things you’ve planned behind their backs?”

“I have my ways. Ways that insure I’ll have people on my side when I need.”

Y/n scowled before stepping forwards, leaning into his face. “Say whatever you need to say to comfort the idea of your downfall. I don’t care about you or your motives, leave my family alone or I will personally see to it you meet your expected end before its fated to happen.” Dream let out an amused breath in response. “Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise."

You're my brother and I love you that's the truth

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

[the-iceni-bitch]

Search No More

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader

Words: Guessing cuz I’m on mobile again, 1.5k?

Summary: Andy has a new job and needs you to save him from forced camaraderie.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex), alcohol consumption by adults of appropriate age, Neal Logiudice (cuz fuck this guy), SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: Another one from the WIP folder that is specifically for @imanuglywombat’s “Is that even a sex position?” challenge, week three. I figured a nice soft position would be perfect for our favorite floofy lawyer boi. Please check out the other great fics this challenge has given us and enjoy!

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!

It had been a slow night at the bar, so your staff practically insisted on sending you home early, Jesse shoving out the door as you protested feebly.

“Take a night off, boss.” He grumbled amicably as he ushered you towards your car, handing you your coat and bag as a light snow started to fall. “Maybe go snuggle with that boyfriend of yours that’s always hanging around. Where is he tonight anyway?”

“There was a new faculty mixer.” You said with an eye roll. “You’re sure you’ll be fine, Jess?”

“We’re always fine.” He said dismissively with a wave of his hand as you climbed into your vehicle.

You texted Andy as you started your car to see where he was and he practically begged you to come meet him at the party, whining about how sinfully boring law professors were. You got the address from him and headed out, arriving in the posh Newton neighborhood in a little under 30 minutes.

There were a few partygoers hanging around outside, and you cursed to yourself when you saw them wearing cocktail attire. Leave it to Andy to forget to mention a dress code. Thank god your dry cleaning was in the back.

You tried to find something relatively conservative and settled on a simple satin sheath that was probably a little shorter than was appropriate but it’s not like you had a lot of options. You started to awkwardly disrobe in your front seat, shimmying out of your jeans and pulling your sweater over your head. A surprising knock on the window made you yelp while you were bent over the console with the back of your dress unzipped to grab your emergency heels.

“Ma’am, we’ve gotten some reports of an extremely attractive woman getting naked in a 2003 Acura, any chance that’s you.” A gravelly voice said behind a blinding flashlight.

You growled and opened your driver’s side door into Andy, almost making him drop his phone in the street. He let out a chuckle at your scowl as you stepped out of the car and straightened up, starting to pull the zipper of your dress up your back.

“I would’ve changed at the bar if you let me know this was a cocktail party asshole.” You snarled at him, turning to let him help you draw the zipper up the last few inches.

“Or, you would’ve gone back to your apartment to try to find something else to wear, and I would’ve been stuck listening to professor McDrones-A-lot talk about torts for god knows how long.”

“Aww, are your new coworkers boring, babe?” You teased him as he wrapped an arm around your waist and guided you inside.

“God, they’re so fucking boring.” He murmured into your hair before turning to introduce you to some ancient man with elbow patches. “Professor Donaldson, this is Y/N.” He said, throwing you a wink. “She was just telling me how interested she is in tort reform.”

“Splendid! Are you a lawyer my dear?”

You shook your head and did your best to listen politely as you glared at Andy over the old man’s shoulder. He gave you a stupid grin before heading to the bar to grab the two of you some drinks.

“What the fuck are you doing here, sweetheart?”

You cursed under your breath and turned to glare at Neal Logiudice, the absolute last person you wanted to see.

“Hello Neal.” You grumbled.

“Get out of here, Wally.” He said, dismissing the professor he had very rudely interrupted. “Go find some other asshole to bother.”

The old man just huffed and gave you a sympathetic pat on the arm as he hobbled away.

“That was rude.” You said, your eyes roaming the room in search of Andy. You didn’t feel like dealing with Neal’s bullshit tonight. “Why are you here Neal? I thought this was a faculty only event.”

“Alumni are invited too. And you still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.” He growled, stepping closer and invading your bubble. “Cuz you’re definitely not alumni or faculty. You work your way through all the lawyer dick at your bar and come looking for more?”

“Lovely.” You said dryly, frowning at the smell of whiskey that enveloped the man. “You’re drunk.”

You felt a warm hand on your shoulder and turned your head just enough to see Andy scowling behnd you. He slotted himself beside you and wrapped his arm around you in a protective embrace as he and Neal stared each other down.

“Logiudice.” He said menacingly, and you rolled your eyes as the levels of testosterone in the room shot up suddenly.

“Barber.” The giant said with a sneer. “I see you’ve moved on to the leftover dregs of the Newton law community. I hear that pussy’s had every defense attorney cock in town.”

Andy let out an absolutely feral growl and you just managed to hold him back as you glared at Neal.

“Jesus, Neal. Glad to see you’re not bitter.” You said with little humor as your arm strained against Andy’s chest.

“No bitterness here, sweetheart. Just waiting for you to work your way to me.” He leered at you, giving you a lascivious wink.

You let out a sigh as you started to shove Andy away from the idiot, grateful for all your experience manhandling drunks as he fought against you every step of the way.

“He’s not worth it, baby.” You murmured once you had achieved a good amount of distance, your hands smoothing his jacket over his chest in a soothing gesture as Neal let out a guffaw behind you.

“I dunno, I kinda feel like punching him in the face is definitely worth it, sweetheart.” Andy said as he took some deep breaths and turned his gaze back to you.

“Maybe not at your first event for your new job though.” You teased him, tugging softly on his beard and making him grin at you. “Where’s my fucking drink?”

“Shit, I got distracted. I’ll be right back.” He said apologetically, starting to turn away from you.

“Oh no, you are not leaving me by myself again. All I need is to get cornered by some crazy professor who wants to tell me all about bird law.” You said as you tagged after him, the two of you weaving your way through the partygoers as you made your way to the bar.

“What the fuck is ‘bird law’?” He beamed at you after ordering your drinks, leaning against the bar and cocking one eyebrow at you.

“Jesus, I think you might be too classy for me, Barber.” You teased. “We’ve gotta work on your pop culture references.”

The two of you managed to have a relatively pleasant evening, even though you had no idea what anyone was talking about most of the time. But you loved watching how relaxed Andy was around you, and how passionate he got whenever he started to debate with one of his new colleagues. He was in the middle of a particularly heated discussion about the evolution of laws regarding sovereign immunity when he noticed you gazing at him, and his face broke out in a grin.

“You’ll have to excuse me, guys, I didn’t realize how late it’s gotten and I worry I’ve been neglecting my date. Let’s continue this on Monday?”

He made his way through the party, saying some quick goodbyes as his hand rested on your lower back. You let out a soft moan when you reached the foyer and he pressed you into the wall, his lips brushing against yours before he broke away to find his coat.

He returned after a few minutes and wrapped his arms around your waist, his mouth moving against yours hungrily as he guided you out the door.

“Jesus, Andy!” You whined when he lifted you slightly as the two of you made your way to his Range Rover. You bent your knees so your toes wouldn’t drag along the pavement.

“I dunno what you expected when you were looking at me like that, sweetheart.” He teased as he wrapped one arm around you tightly and brought his other hand to fumble through his coat pockets in search of his keys.

“I couldn’t help it.” You murmured in his ear as he pressed you against the driver’s side door, working to open the door to the back seat. “All that law talk does things to me.”

“Yeah?” He muttered around a grin, finally getting the door open and setting you down across the back seat. “You didn’t find it boring?”

“Not when it was you, Professor Barber.” You said in a husky voice, winking at him as he climbed on top of you and pulled the door closed behind him.

“Fuck honey.” He growled as he tossed his coat in the front seat before burying his face in your neck. “You’re gonna need to call me professor more often.”

“Mmm, professor.” You hummed as he ran his teeth over your throat before sucking a bruise over your collarbone. “I had some questions about affidavits I was hoping you could help me with.”

He gave a dark chuckle against your chest as his mouth kept moving lower, his lips brushing over the swell of your breasts as his hands moved under your back to unzip your dress. Once he had it open he yanked it off you and tossed it aside, bending over you again to nip at your skin as you dragged his suit jacket off over his shoulders.

“Why do I feel like you just want to hear me say affidavits?” He teased as you drew his tie off and started to work on his shirt buttons. He wrapped your thighs around his hips and ground himself into you, making you whimper as a fresh rush of arousal flooded your panties.

“Fuck, say more lawyer words, professor.” You whined as he drew the straps of your bra down your shoulders, drawing your breasts out of the soft lace and wrapping his lips around one of your nipples.

“Amicus brief.” He teased as his tongue laved over your nipple and you felt your pussy clench around nothing.

He moved to give your other breast the same soft attention as you worked on undoing his belt, your breath coming in shallow gasps as he worked you over. You finally drew his belt off and he sat up to remove his slacks, his lust blown eyes never leaving yours as he dragged his pants and boxer briefs down over his legs, tossing them on top of the rest of his clothes in the front seat as his cock bounced up against his abs, making your mouth fill with saliva at the sight.

You didn’t give him a chance to dive on top of you again, instead climbing into his lap as he knelt there and sucking his lower lip into your mouth. He groaned against your lips as you brought a hand down to wrap around his dick. You dragged his length through the slick that had soaked your thighs before shoving your panties aside and guiding him to your entrance.

Andy let out a deep sigh as you sank onto him, taking his full length in one smooth motion until he was fully seated in you. His tongue pressed between your lips and curved against yours as you wrapped one hand around his neck and the other around his bicep.

“You’re so goddamn perfect, baby.” He muttered against your lips as he started moving his hips at a languorous pace. “So fucking warm and wet for me.”

“Mmm, Andy.” You moaned as you nipped at his lips softly. “I love having you inside me.”

“Yeah, pretty girl?” He murmured as he started to move a little faster. “You love feeling my big cock in that tight little pussy?”

“Fuck, I need this cock, baby.” You hissed, resting your forehead against his and staring into his eyes. “Nobody fucks me like you do.”

“Shit. You’re squeezing me so good, honey.” He muttered as he ground against you. “I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

“Fuck, I’m so close, Andy.” You whined as his hips thrust against you even harder. “God, right there. I’m gonna cum”

“Do it, I wanna see that cream all over my dick.” He buried his face in your neck and gave one last violent push of his hips.

You let out a cry as every muscle in your body went rigid, your fingers digging painfully into his neck and shoulders. Your pussy clenched around him for a beat before fluttering in your release as your torso rolled against his and a wave of intense pleasure washed over you.

“Jesus, baby.” He murmured as you came down, straightening his legs one at a time as he held you to him tightly.

You were still kneeling and the new angle had him hitting you even deeper than before, making stars burst behind your closed eyelids. Andy bent his knees slight behind you and leaned you back to rest against them as he moved his mouth to your breasts, making you whimper as his tongue brushed against your nipple.

“God, I could spend all night like this.” He murmured as he started pulling you down to him over and over, making you devolve into a mewling, whimpering mess. “My face buried in these perfect tits and my cock buried in that perfect pussy.”

You felt yourself clench around him at the praise and dug both hands in the hair at the base of his skull, pressing his mouth to your chest as you arched into him. His cock twitched inside you in response as he let out a deep groan, his hips meeting yours desperately.

“I’m gonna cum again, shit. You close, baby?” You felt him nodding between your breasts as his hips stuttered. “Fuck, I wanna feel it fill me up. I love when your cum inside me.”

“Goddamn it.” He hissed, and that was it for both of you.

Your knees squeezed his hips painfully as you tugged at his hair, a moan coming from deep in your chest as your orgasm ripped through you. Your cunt fluttered uncontrollably as your muscles spasmed around him, milking his cock for everything he could give you. He shouted your name against your chest and dug his fingers into your waist as his spend filled you up, painting your velvety walls in hot ropes that mixed with your own release and seeped over your thighs in a thick mess.

He collapsed back against the seat with a groan, taking you with him as he still held you tightly. You nuzzled into his neck as aftershocks still shook through you, your pussy clenching around his softening cock at random intervals.

“Well, fuck me Professor Barber.” You teased as he buried his face in your hair.

He let out a groan and grinned at you as he brought his face to meet yours, his tongue slipping between your lips as he kissed you deeply.

“God, I fucking love you.” He whispered without thought as his hands ran over your spine. His hands stopped suddenly as he realized what he’d said and his held his breath as he waited for your reply.

You just buried your face in his chest hair and sighed before whispering “Love you too, Andy.”

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[omniscientwreck]

Hi🖤 Omni! If you're looking for a fic request I've got one.

Okay so Essek is Feeblminded by remaining Volstrucker at his tower. Verin came to visit later that day and has been taling care of Essek, as they both would be scared of the Umavi's wrath should someone find out.

Well Caleb comes to visit a few day's later and Certainly gets a surprise.

Fluff ensues.

I'm talking the Unicorn from Despicable Me level Fluffy😁😁😁

Hi Umbra! Sorry I'm incredibly late answering this, life is weird but I hope the length makes up for it! I know I said drabble but like this just turned into a whole fic so I hope you enjoy!

Verin had worried when Essek’s door hadn’t opened of its own accord, usually he knows when he’s arrived. Deciding something was certainly wrong he barges his way into his brother’s tower. He finds it silent which is normal but unnerving and the unnatural stillness as he calls for Essek has his hackles up.

His knuckles pale as he grips the hilt of his sword and searches methodically throughout the tower. Finding the main floor empty he heads up the stairs to the library. There’s a shuffle, a falling book, a whimper. He draws his sword, adrenaline coursing through his veins. The door is ajar and he can hear shuffling. He thrusts it open is momentarily relieved to see his brother. His hair is tousled and white is stained with flecks of red, his robes are torn and his mantle is askew.

He’s never seen him like this before and his heart lurches. Surprise and fear are plastered across his features, far more freely than Verin’s ever seen him feel. He doesn’t talk and he seems to not even recognize him. Checking the rest of the room, the sword is returned to its sheath and Verin crouches, reaching a hand to Essek.

“Brother, what happened?” Silence, a whimper. “Essek? What’s wrong? It’s Verin, your brother.” His brows unknot, and the tension in his jaw slackens. There’s a looseness to his demeanor and as he stands he waves his hand as if to float, but nothing happens. He tries again and again. The first try was decisive, after watching him for so long Verin knows what it looks like when he casts it. The second time it’s not quite right, the third time it gets looser still. By the time Verin has stopped counting and Verin has grabbed Essek’s hands to calm him it seemed like Essek didn’t know what he was attempting to do.

“Is this some kind of spell? What happened?” His brother looks up with the face of a stranger. His eyes are open and sad, his ears fall just a touch and Essek leans in to hug Verin. He’s never wanted to do that before.

Verin hugs him back. “Oh Essie, what are we going to do?”

Caleb approaches Essek’s tower and is struck by immediate concern when the door doesn’t open for him. Essek always lets him in when he arrives, and with everything that’s happened he immediately panics. Caleb tries to tell himself Essek must be busy and has missed him tripping the wards. So, he lifts the knocker and gives the door a few raps.

He’d asked Caleb to meet him here to assist in the transport of his most important items after their trip to Aeor. He needs to run, he knows it and Caleb knows that turning himself in to the Dynasty would mean certain death so he’s agreed to help. No amount of good will from the Bright Queen would let them bargain for his favour. Selfishly, Caleb won’t allow him to get caught, so he will harbor Essek for some time, helping him stay out of the eyes of the Dynasty.

Eventually he knocks again, beginning to hold a firebolt just in case. “Uh, just a minute,” calls a stranger’s voice from behind the wood. “I’ll be right there.”

The door opens just a crack, “Who is it?”

“I am Caleb Widogast of the Mighty Nein, who is this?” His hand is up and encircled in flame.

“Oh thank the Light, one moment.” Whoever he is, he’s clearly relieved. Caleb’s firebolt stays held.

As the door opens Caleb is greeted by a tall drow, muscular with long braided back hair. He looks familiar but Caleb cannot place him. His features are slowly fading into relief from what must have been a deep concern. “Hello Caleb Widogast, I am Verin Thelyss and I am so glad you’re here. Your the wizard yes?”

Nodding, bewildered as he’s being dragged into Essek’s home by his brother, Caleb can hardly remember to respond, “Uh ja, that’s me. Where is Essek?”

“Well so I came by a few days ago and he didn’t let me into the tower which was weird. There have been some rumors going around and when our mother said he was back I had to ask. I don’t know if you know but… well it’s bad.”

He’s leading him upstairs as he explains and the back of Caleb’s neck is on fire. Verin doesn’t know, but there are rumors that are most likely true. Is he too late?

“So, I’m hoping since you also practice the arcane you might know what’s happened here and how to solve it.”

He leads Caleb into the library and Essek is seated on a chair idly flipping through a book far too quickly. It doesn’t even look like he’s reading, Caleb knows what he looks like when he’s reading. The quiet concentration and the tension it brings his jaw is completely missing. When Essek looks up at him there’s recognition but no words and when he rises to make his way to Caleb, he walks.

He’s wide-eyed and has a sweet smile across his face, it’s difficult to look away but if he doesn’t the heat rising in his cheeks will show. “Essek, what is it mein Freunde?”

No words. Why can’t he talk and why isn’t he floating?

“Essek?” A gentle hand reaches up to rest on his cheek and the heat takes over at the abrupt contact. Especially with Verin standing over his shoulder observing them. “Verin how long has he been like this?”

“About 2 days. I didn’t really know what had happened and if the Umavi found out well… I’m unsure what she would do.” Verin is a little more easier to map out than Essek had been initially and he’s been told enough stories about Dierta to understand the undercurrent of Verin’s words.

“Ja, I understand.” Verin starts at that and Caleb just continues past it, “I believe he has been affected by the spell Feeblemind. I - ah - have experience with this kind of thing. We have friends that can cure him but I will have to contact them, which I will not be able to do until tomorrow.”

Essek’s hand has wound its way into Caleb’s and he tries and fails miserably to contain the blush that he knows is spreading to his ears. Memories of little touches in Aeor flood back and Caleb pushes away thoughts of conversations he’d promised they’d have later, after Essek was safe. To call to attention this thing between them and get it out in the open before it drives him mad. Even if Essek’s feelings do not align with his it will be better to have it in the open.

“So this isn’t hurting him?”

Caleb turns to Essek, “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He remembers a blur of time, when his mind had failed him. He remembers terror, looking down at his hands and not knowing whose they were. He didn’t have an anchor, nothing but his own thoughts, with someone there it might be different. Essek can’t understand him but the tone of voice seems to elicit some positive emotions and Essek squeezes his hand, a contented smile across his face, “He seems alright to me. It is unpleasant to be cut off from your casting, but he isn’t in pain and he isn’t alone.” It’s difficult to mitigate the emotion bleeding into his voice.

He pushes down memories of the years he’d been locked away and squeezes Essek’s hand back, reassuringly. “Have you gotten him to eat?”

Verin nods, “Occasionally. Probably not as much as he needs. I’m not exactly an excellent cook and nobody can see him like this so I’ve sent his staff away.”

“Alright, well I’ll just do this then.” he begins casting the tower, “I understand if you want to stay but if you need to go I can care for him.” he wants Verin to leave, he wants him gone so badly, to just take care of Essek properly without the shadow of somebody who doesn’t know hanging over them.

“I should be back to Bazzoxan soon. They’ll begin asking after me.” Caleb finishes casting the tower and leads Essek in. Just before he enters, Verin stops him, “You mean something to each other. I’ve never seen him act this way before, granted there’s an arcane influence but genuinely he has never smiled like he did when he saw you. I trust you with this because I think he would. Do not betray that.”

Caleb nods, “Of course not. We’ve faced the most difficult challenges of my life together and with our friends. I will care for him.” Verin seems satisfied with that and makes to leave, and Caleb enters the tower to find Essek waiting in the centre of the tower. He has an idea of where he wants to go. As the tower door closes behind Verin, he and Essek begin to drift upwards. Essek opens his mouth as if to reflexively murmur ‘up’ as had become their custom in their long travels together and his brows knot in distress, as if he’s realized again that his voice will not come. Caleb reaches for his hand, to comfort him and says it for them both, to which Essek smiles.

The drow releases Caleb’s hand and begins to swirl around, never leaving the central column and Caleb is forced to mirror his motions lest they collide. He flashes back to a moment of levity when they’d first come to Aeor. They had showboated then, dancing around each other as their works often did. This Essek is less restrained and his eyes and nose crinkle into a genuine smile when Caleb joins his frivolity.

They stop at the ninth floor which Caleb had known to be Esseks’ destination and immediately Essek lays on the pillows he always places in the corner. Usually, on their research expedition, he tranced in his room but on particularly emotional days they both preferred an expanse of stars above them as they rested. It became tradition and over time they’d drifted closer and closer together, until they would sometimes come to consciousness to find that through the night Essek had curled into Caleb’s side or that their hands had wound together unknowingly.

Now, Essek’s eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open in wonder as though it’s his first time seeing it all over again. Caleb stands over him, following his gaze up to the idly shifting starscape above. Caleb is quickly distracted by the versions of them that traverse different paths. Sometimes in each other’s company, other times in solitude. In a few they hold hands or make contact at the shoulders. Those are the ones he likes the most.

When his gaze is pulled back downwards, Essek stares up at him with a tenderness that quickly turns to expectation. He’s arranged burgundy cushions across the floor beside him for Caleb and so he obliges. As he stretches out across the crude bed slender, cool fingers interlock his own and he lays back and tells Essek of the constellations he’s hidden among the stars.

When Caleb himself was in this state he remembered lacking familiarity. Nothing around him made sense and the upheaval of his life only moments prior had only amplified the disorientation of the magic that kept him prisoner for 11 years.

Essek has someone to watch over him, he’s in a place that evidently brings him much joy and in recent months he’s found himself halfway to peace. Caleb finds his heart swell at the idea of making this experience bearable.

The silence was always the worst so he points to guide the elf’s eyes as he tells them the stories behind each constellation. He tells him of Nila, gentle and fierce. Of Twiggy, ever optimistic and wholly delightful. He tells him about Reani who Essek has spent some time with. Brief recognition flashes across his face, though it’s quickly replaced with frustration. Caleb remembers. He remembers knowing that someone was there who he should recognize but not having the words to know he had forgotten their name. He was in terror and treated everyone as a threat. Essek treats everything with wonder and discovery. The innocence is sweet and a syrupy feeling pools in Caleb’s throat as he’s again confronted with the way his heart swells when Essek looks at Caleb with that same contented smile.

He scoots closer and this is entirely too much. The idea that this version of Essek may curl into his side willingly, while they were fully conscious where the other version cannot unsettles him. Instead he stands, offering his hand, “Why don’t we get you something to eat ja?” There’s a momentary droop of his ears, much more pronounced than any movement he’d seen before before he lifts Essek and they go down to the dining room.

If there is to be anything significant between them it cannot be spurred under these circumstances. Caleb has to know he means it. As they wait while he cats prepare what had become their usual fare while traversing Aeor, he defaults to telling stories. First he tells him of the tunnels they traversed to reach the Dynasty, crafting an illusion as well as he can of the crystalline caves they made camp in. Food arrives and he continues weaving story and image as Essek picks at the well spiced soup comprised mainly of squash and potato. As he crafts an illusion of the dragon turtle they’d fought just after the peace talks out of amber and morphs its shape to a smaller turtle and then a sea slug, laughing to himself at the absurdity, he notices the clink of Essek’s spoon has long subsided.

Glancing over electric eyes focus on him instead of the illusion, so he drops it. “Ah, Es tut mir Leid, I know I tend to get carried away.” A little contented noise bubbles from Essek’s throat and his heart squeezes. In a desperate attempt to try and get Essek to eat more he turns back to his own soup and looks expectantly over to his friend.

Giving him a look of exasperation, he mirrors Caleb and eats most of the soup. Caleb rips up bread and encourages him to dip it in what’s left of the soup and finally, the bowl is empty. They leave the cats to clean up and Essek’s hand grasps Caleb’s again and squeezes. He knows he shouldn’t draw conclusions or let himself be taken by these gestures that the man wouldn’t make if he’d had the presence of mind, but it’s turning into a losing game.

With the time spent on the ninth floor and the prolonged battle of coaxing Essek to eat they only have a few hours until sleep. Essek takes his customary seat on the couch in the study and Caleb withdraws some of the lighter fiction that now populates the shelves. Lying back on the sofa, feet resting on the armrest, head by Essek he holds up the copy of Der Katzenprinz to show the illustrations. “You seem to like hearing me talk so why don’t I share this with you? Either way you won’t understand what I say so I will read it to you as it was originally intended.”

He begins, in Zemnian to tell him the fairy story that had brought him so much joy as a child, and the cats bring them hot chocolate as instructed. Warm mug in hand, Essek sits patiently through the story and as it turns to a close, picks up another of the books Caleb has gathered and thrusts it upon his chest. A real laugh bubbles up at that and he obliges.

As the night winds on and the mugs are emptied, Essek’s hand winds its way through Caleb’s hair, gently combing. When he looks up at Essek he’s met with soft, drooping eyes and a plain smile laced with nothing but care. He tries to stop Essek over the course of the book but finds that the drow always goes back to his hair so eventually, he leaves it. When Essek’s breaths even and elongate and he’s having trouble keeping his eyes open, Caleb sends him to trance.

He’s met with a slightly mournful look as Essek settles into the cushions he’s provided for trancing, but Caleb squeezes his shoulder, “If something goes wrong the cats will know to come get me. This is for the best.” Looking not at all reassured, but staying in place, Essek lets him leave without protest.

In the middle of sleep, dreamless and warm, there’s pressure. Then a caterwaul cuts through his subconscious followed by several more. He awakes with a start and immediately the cats gather around his feet as he pulls on slippers. They lead him to Essek’s room, where through the closed doors he can hear the sounds of furniture being disturbed.

Barging in, heart pounding, he finds Essek with tears streaming down his face. “Essek Schatz what’s wrong?” He kneels, abandoning any sense of propriety or boundaries and as he collapses into Caleb’s arms with nearly silent sobs he’s struck by how small the other man is.

“It’s alright Essek, whatever it was it cannot hurt you. I will keep you safe as you have done me.” They’ve never talked about the nights when the cats would do the same to Essek as they’d done to Caleb. When he’d been awoken from nightmares with angry red scratches down his forearms and a friend to bandage them. They’ve never quite discussed the comfort in Essek trancing just beside Caleb’s bed on difficult nights and he’s tried to stifle contemplation about the safety the man brings to his subconscious. The timing wasn’t right and despite his own longing he couldn’t make that step towards Essek. Not then.

Now, however, the elf shudders in his arms and he brings him into his lap, lighting soft amber globules of light to examine Essek. When he finds no physical harm he puts them out again and draws him in tighter as Essek clutches at the sides of his nightshirt and curls into his chest. He sings gentle lullabies his mother had once used to soothe him, voice cracking slightly as he flexes it in a long forgotten way. Eventually the shaking stops and breath becomes more solid, but hands stay grasped into his shirt so, with assistance from the cats, he maneuvers them into an easier sleeping position. Ever determined, Essek stays in his arms the whole time and when he tries to encourage him to trance beside him, arms wind around his waist.

“Okay, okay. If this will help.” Caleb resigns himself to creaky joints the next morning and sleeps with Essek in his arms, pushing away any indulgent thoughts of future nights spent with him in the same orientation.

When he awakes Essek is gone from his lap, though their fingers are laced and his head rests atop the drow’s on his shoulder. “Guten Morgen Essek.” He startles and smiles over at Caleb. Open, honest, vulnerable. They need to fix this. “I just need to prepare and then we will see Jester ja?” He receives a blank stare in return and nods to himself. “I will be back in a few moments and then we will go to Nicodranas. Just wait here.” He leaves and dresses quickly, returning to find Essek essentially where he’d been left. He takes a moment to glance over his spellbook and concentrates as he casts Sending, “Hallo Jester, I need your assistance with a pretty big restoration. Can you help today?”

She sounds half-asleep as she responds, “Caleb? Oh hi! Yeah I can help, just come to mama’s, we’re in Nicodranas. Oh my gosh I have to tell you, the dragon turtle-” her word economy same as ever.

“Okay Essek, Jester can help. I don’t know where you kept your parasol but I’m sure she can make you another.” With that they head out the door and Caleb transports them safely to the Lavish Chateau. Essek’s hand never leaves his.

Upon arrival they’re beset by a shouted greeting and Jester crushes Caleb in a hug before even realizing the other man is there. “Ohmigod Essek hi! I missed you!” Instead of awkwardly patting her back as he usually does, he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in. “Hey Caleb, what’s going on with Essek?”

She pulls back and sees his broad smile and dancing eyes and looks at Caleb distinctly concerned. “Ah- I’m afraid he is a victim of the Feeblemind spell. It’s what they used against me in… well.” Her face clouds with understanding. “He’s okay physically though, whoever attacked him clearly just needed him out of the way. If you can use Greater Restoration that will undo the effects. He’s been ah - rather clingy.”

She waggles her eyebrows at him, making suggestive noise, and gets out the required diamond dust, sprinkling it delicately over Essek who watches in wonder. She puts both hands on her shoulders and green radiant energy emanates from her and passes to him. Before long he’s shaking his head and stepping back, voice hoarse from disuse, “Where- Jester? Thank you oh my gods thank you.”

She grins back at him, “I’m glad you’re back Essek! It’s a good thing Caleb brought you here you were acting so weird-”

She’s cut off as he chokes out, “Caleb.” and looks over with a deep violet flush and wide, apologetic eyes. “I ah- I am sorry for putting you through that. I-”

“Nein, do not apologize. Maybe we should get back to your tower to try and piece together who did this to you and what they were after ja?’

Essek nods and casts his levitation cantrip, shoulders sagging with relief when it works. “Yes, of course. Thank you Jester, I’m sorry we can’t stay but-”

She hugs the both of them again, “It’s okay, you have lots to talk about probably I don’t know bye!” she gives Caleb a wink as he begins casting the spell again and to his surprise Essek’s hand winds itself in his as they vanish.

They’re back in the tower and Caleb looks down, Essek’s hand still in his. Essek drops it and there’s a flush set deep into his cheeks and it spreads to his cheeks as their eyes meet. “Caleb I-” he swallows “I remember most of what happened, though not very clearly. I um-” his eyes are downcast and Caleb braces for what he believes to be coming, “Thank you for your patience. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable it is very difficult to explain but I think you’re aware of the feeling. I didn’t exactly have my full faculties and I fear I broke boundaries that may have encroached too far on your hospitality and our friendship.”

It’s difficult to see him so apologetic for the affection displayed. This thing between them has gone unspoken quite too long and before he realizes it he’s speaking, “Don’t apologize for that Schatz, I ah- I didn’t mind. There’s something I think we ought to discuss fairly plainly because I do not want to mince words about the way I feel anymore, it’s tiring.”

Essek looks up to meet him, steeling himself and as Caleb is about to speak he cuts him off, “I am aware enough of how I acted to realize I cannot properly hide my feelings further.” He takes a deep breath, the back of Caleb’s neck is burning and time has all but frozen, “I care deeply for you Caleb. It is difficult to bring myself to those words for I know this is the last thing I deserve but here I am, a fool for you. I know that there were moments in Aeor, I hold them close to my heart as precious things in a life of solitude. If you do not do the same, if you do not feel the same I will remain your friend if you’ll allow it, your research partner, anything. But-” he looks down almost sheepishly, “I owe it to you to be forthright and so I will tell you that if you’ll have me, I would very much like to see where this takes us.”

A smile breaks across Caleb’s face as their eyes meet, “May I kiss you?”

Essek draws in a sharp breath, eyes wide, and nods. It takes Caleb only a moment to close the gap, hands sliding around Essek’s waist and over the back of his neck as he leads them together. Essek’s hands hold his shoulders and his eyes flutter closed as their lips meet, electricity and heat mixing. When they finally pull back they’re both flushed. Essek lets out a huff of a laugh and Caleb wraps him tightly as he brings him in again, smiling into another kiss.

[jessikahathaway]

Into Eternity - FINAL

So, oh my gosh this is actually happening???

I have been writing this story for three years and it honestly has gotten me through so much? I love these characters and to give them an ending has brought me so many emotions. Thank you to everyone who has read and has loved these characters as much as I have.

Now buckle up, for the finale.

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Royalty!AU

Words: 8,877

Warnings: Attempted Suicide (it isn't graphic, but it's there so please be aware of that), Explicit Sexual Content, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Unprotected Sex (She preggie, but y'all be careful), Creampie, Dirty Talk. Birthing Scene (Not terribly graphic but just be aware), the fluff we've all been waiting forrrrr! (If I forgot anything please do let me know!)

It had been a week since the fight with Morgana and your death.

Jimin hadn’t been coping well at all.

Taehyung entered the bedroom where they had set you after the fight. Father Jin redressed you and washed your hair, but other than that you hadn’t moved or breathed. Nothing to note that you were alive. Father Jin had resigned himself to his room and hadn’t come out. Jungkook was training for hours on end and Taehyung was too busy trying to keep Jimin alive to do much else.

Hoseok had sent for more guards and they arrived soon after. Although they weren’t allowed inside the palace. No one was to come near, Jimin would have them beheaded.

Taehyung saw the same sight he’d seen for the last week. Jimin, at your bedside, waiting.

“Sire,” Taehyung announced his entrance.

“Taehyung,” Jimin answered softly.

“I brought you something to drink and a bit of porridge, will you eat it?” He asked, looking down at the small mugs in his hands.

“Yes, I’ll eat,” Jimin answered.

Turning around Taehyung sighed as he saw the dark bags under his eyes. The look of exhaustion that filled his frame was overwhelmingly sad. Taehyung knew his friend, and he was a shadow of himself. As if he were slowly dying without you with him.

But Taehyung pressed on, a smile coming across his features.

“Here you are,” Taehyung said, setting the mugs in his hands.

Jimin ate slowly, methodically. As if it was a chore to be doing so.

Taehyung wondered if he tasted it, his eyes were so devoid. It was like he was a skeleton walking around. No joints or ligaments, just bones clacking together. The way he moved was awkward and ungraceful, nothing like the Prince he knew. One thing was for certain.

He missed you.

“Jimin, do you want to take a bath?” Taehyung asked, looking at his friend’s appearance.

“No,” he said quietly.

“It’ll take a few minutes, please,” Taehyung urged.

“I’d rather not right now,” Jimin almost whispered.

“It’s okay, perhaps later,” Taehyung gave in, knowing that it wouldn’t happen later either.

“Taehyung,” Jimin’s voice was stronger this time.

“Yes, sire?”

“Do you think she’s really dead?”

“I don’t-”

“Perhaps this is what they wanted for me. To suffer without her,” he said bitterly.

“Don’t think so lowly of your ancestor, he tried to do what he could for you both,” Taehyung admonished.

“Perhaps I should die as well, join my beloved where we can be free together,” Jimin said, laying his head down on the bed, and gazing at you with misty eyes.

“Jimin!” Taehyung yelled.

Jimin flinched but didn’t move.

“I don’t think this is what Y/N would’ve wanted for you. She wouldn’t want to watch you starve yourself. She would want you to lie here and wait for something that might not happen. She’d want you to go out and live your life. To go out and be happy. Jimin, please listen to me. The way you’re treating yourself isn’t anything like what Y/N would’ve wanted for you. She loved you so much, and wanted nothing but the best for you. So for you to disrespect her wishes like this... It makes me sad, Jimin, truly it does.”

“So you do think she’s dead,” Jimin whispered.

“Jimin,” Taehyung said.

“Get out,” Jimin demanded softly.

“Jimin listen.”

“Get out Taehyung!” Jimin screamed, standing up.

Taehyung didn’t waste anymore time, slamming the door before he left.

--

It was the day of your funeral...

Jimin had fought tooth and nail to make sure he never saw this day, but here it was. It had been two weeks since your death. And Father Jin said it was time to lay you to rest. Jimin had denied it at first, but now, there was an eerie calm that settle over the palace. Jimin was silent, save for the few words he spoke to Taehyung. But other than that, no words left the man.

“We are here today to lay to rest a soul who has touched all of us in many ways,” Father Jin began.

You were laying in your coffin, beautiful as the day Jimin first saw you. The maids had braided gorgeous ribbons in your hair, and graced your face with the smallest amount of makeup, enhancing that natural beauty you had. Jimin’s eyes were filled with tears as he looked at you. His beloved bride, going so soon. And it was his fault you were dead. Because he couldn’t protect you.

“Jimin,” Taehyung whispered, nudging his friend.

“I’m fine,” he whispered back, wiping his eyes gingerly.

“Lady Y/N was a tender soul. Someone who wanted nothing but to share love and happiness wherever she went. I had the pleasure of knowing her, and I will forever miss her and her laughter. She is with God now, and I will take comfort in knowing that. May God rest her soul.”

Father Jin stepped away from the casket, Namjoon taking his place.

“Lady Y/N was fearless, and bright. Always willing to lend a hand to those in need. I failed her a guard and I will forever be unworthy. But as I continue on with life I will live for her, I will live with her in mind so that no one will ever suffer the same fate. I will protect the Royal family for the rest of my days, and will forever ask for forgiveness that I wasn’t able to protect them this time. Lady Y/N, I am so sorry. May you grace us with your love and kindness, so that we may forgive ourselves as well. You will be missed, dearly,” Namjoon said.

The rest of the proceedings went on, yet Jimin felt numb.

You lay there before him, so close yet out of reach. His soul yearned to reach out for yours, longing to touch you, to hold you. To bring you into his embrace and care for you as you did for him. When it was finally his turn to save you, he failed...

“Y/N was a beautiful person,” Taehyung began.

“She was smart, funny and a true joy to be around. I remember the first time I met her. She was outspoken, yet, in the best way. She challenged all of us to be better. To think more, to be more. She challenged me to be the best version of myself, and all I can say, is that I will continue to be the best person I can be. I will remember her fondly, and I will always be grateful for what she has done for me and my friends. May God rest her soul,” he repeated.

Yoongi spoke next, saying little but it was enough. Although Jimin still felt as though something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

Soon, it was Jimin’s turn to speak.

He felt awkward as he went to the front to speak. He took a deep breath in and imagined you, holding his hand. The warmth that suffused him gave him the strength to speak.

“Y/N was... everything to me. Never have I loved like I loved her. She was beautiful, caring, sweet and... maddening. She challenged everything I knew about myself. Everything I ever thought I knew, and she changed me. Y/N changed me for the better. She made me believe that I could do anything, be anything. No matter what I thought about myself, she always believed in me. More than I did. Y/N was knowledgeable. She loved to read, I promised her a library. That way she could read without me getting in her way, I had a way of interrupting her at the most important part of the book she’d tell me...” Jimin laughed, tears coming down his cheeks. “I love her so much, even now I love her so dearly and so fiercely that this all feels wrong. To be burying her feels like a foreign concept to me that I cannot accept. I-I... don’t want this to be it.”

“Y/N, I love you. Please forgive me,” Jimin said, taking out a vial.

It was poison. Jimin had planned to end his life here. Perhaps that was what had felt so wrong the whole time. The fact that he knew he’d be ending his life in front of his friends brought him no comfort. He only felt guilt, but he couldn’t bear another day without you here. It wasn’t feasible to him. It was everything he could do to stand right now.

“Jimin no!”

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, bringing the vial to his lips.

“I love you too,” a soft voice answered.

Before Jimin could turn around, Namjoon and Jungkook tackled him to the ground, taking the vial from his hands.

“No!” Jimin fought back, thrashing around like a child.

“Sire please!” Jungkook said, reaching for the vial.

“Jimin?”

Everyone froze.

Jimin looked up to see you, his beloved bride, sitting up in your casket.

“Y/N?” he whispered. Unable to believe his eyes.

“Jimin? What’s going on?” you asked, looking around. From your standpoint, you felt like you’d been asleep for a very long time. As if you’d be put under a sleeping spell or something along those lines. But now, you felt better than ever, as if you were refreshed for the first time in a long while.

“Y/N...” Jimin said, looking at you in disbelief.

“Jimin, what am I doing in here?” you asked, placing your hands on the side of the coffin.

“My love,” Jimin said, standing up and coming to your side. You looked up and smiled, so glad to see him.

“Hi,” you said, placing your hand on his cheeks. He’d been crying, you could tell.

“Y/N,” he whimpered, wrapping you up in his arms and cradling you to his chest.

“Jimin?” you asked, trying to push him back so you could look at him. But he held you firm.

“My darling, I thought I lost you,” he said, tears falling down his cheeks so freely.

“I don’t understand, the last time I saw you I was... How am I here?” you asked, looking around.

“It doesn’t matter, my love, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re here now,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around you.

“But Jimin,” you started.

“Shhh,” he shushed, tangling his fingers in your hair. “I love you, so much,” he said, tilting your head up.

“I love you too,” you said back, but before you could say much else his lips were on yours. Jimin wasted no time, pulling you from the coffin without much difficulty. Jimin had you in his arms and like hell he was ever going to let you go again.

Slowly he pulled away and let his head rest against yours.

“Can you stand?” he asked, placing your feet on the ground.

“I think so,” you answered. Carefully, you took a step, almost falling to the ground if it wasn’t for Jimin’s strong arms keeping you up.

“Maybe not just yet darling, let me carry you,” he said, sweeping you up into his arms.

“Jimin!” you gasped, hanging onto his neck, not wanting to fall.

“I’ve got you,” he said, starting to carry you back towards the palace. The rest of the men there did nothing but watch as Jimin carried you in his arms.

“I never thought that this marriage would work out,” Taehyung said softly, looking at the disappearing silhouette of you and Jimin.

“Well, never say never I guess,” Namjoon said back, crossing his arms.

“I’m glad it worked out, Jimin deserves to be happy,” Jungkook commented.

“They both deserve it,” Father Jin said, smiling.

--

Your coronation was creeping up on you.

You and Jimin both would be crowned King and Queen of Arcane Kingdom. The people would be yours to govern and yours to care for. They were now your responsibility and duty. It weighed heavily on you, the stress of being a Royal. But you didn’t let it show, because you had been given a second chance at life another try.

No one gets that lucky.

But you did. And you weren’t going to waste it.

After everything that had happened, you were still so glad that you were with Jimin. Able to call him yours. It made your heart sing knowing he was your partner in all of this, your husband and truest love.

A knocking at the door shook you from your thoughts.

“Lady Y/N,” Father Jin said from the other side of the door.

“You can come in Father,” you said, putting your hairbrush down as you turned to face the door.

“I’m here as you requested,” he said, holding his bible and other various things you’d requested.

“Wonderful, I need your help,” you said, moving towards the bed.

Father Jin looked at you with confusion.

“It’s been two months and I haven’t bled yet. I-I was hoping you could find out if I was with child?” You said softly.

Father Jin almost fainted on the spot.

“W-With child? My dearest Y/N are you sure?” He asked coming forward.

“I’ve been having symptoms, the nausea in the morning, wanting weird foods and of course not bleeding but, I just wanted to know. I know if I have the palace physician check and I am pregnant he’ll run and tell Jimin. I want to tell him myself, it’s our possible child,” you said.

Father Jin beamed at you, quickly getting his materials ready.

“It would by my absolute honor my Lady,” he said. You smiled.

He busied himself with usual questions and looking at your stomach.

Finally Father Jin smiled brightly at you.

Biting your lip hard you heard his answer.

“My dear Lady Y/N, congratulations. You’re with child,” he said. Tears burst from you quickly, unable to handle the emotion of the whole situation.

You had been so worried that perhaps Morgana killing you would ruin your chances at having a child with Jimin. And considering you two had been having plenty of intimate moments, it was starting to become a fear.

But now...

Now you’re pregnant. With Jimin’s child.

Everything you’ve ever wanted and more.

“Father Jin,” you cried, hanging onto him so tightly. He pet your head gingerly, making sure you were alright before pulling back.

“Your timeline is correct, you are around two month pregnant,” he said, looking at your stomach with nothing but sheer adoration.

“I’ve been so worried,” you hiccuped.

“It’s alright Y/N, you are pregnant. And may the Lord bless you and your unborn child,” he said softly.

“Can you please keep this between us?” You asked.

“I won’t tell a soul,” he agreed.

“Thank you Father, truly, thank you so much.”

—

You were incredibly giddy for the rest of the week. Everyone had taken notice of your spunk and lively attitude. The stoic Yoongi even asked what had you all excited.

You just brushed it off, telling them you’d read a really good book or just ate something delicious. You wanted to tell Jimin so badly. But he was nowhere to be found no matter how hard you looked. The only time you were with him was when he crawled into bed with you early in the morning. Wrapping himself around you and keeping you close to him.

But he was always gone before you woke up.

You knew he was getting ready for the Royal coronation coming up soon, but it still made you a little sad. The distance.

However, you had planned it perfectly.

Jimin’s favorite lace night dress was wrapped around your body. A soft pink dressing gown over top. The man enjoyed unwrapping you like a present.

It was everything you could do not to just run to him in his study and proclaim your pregnancy to him then and there. But you oh so loved the look on his face when you gave him surprises.

Teasing little hints.

It was already late into the night, but you were determined to stay up and see your husband. It was moderately boring in your bedroom, alone, but it wouldn’t be lonely for long...

Just as you thought about going out on the balcony for some fresh air, you heard Jimin enter the room. You hadn’t seen him awake in a few days so you rushed over immediately to see him.

“Jimin!” You said, rushing to bring him into your arms.

Jimin smiled, looking exhausted, but happier now that he got to see you.

“Y/N, it’s late. What are you doing up?” He asked, kissing the top of your head with such tenderness it made your heart ache.

“Wanted to see you,” you mumbled, cheek pressed against his shoulder.

“Well, you’ve seen me. But I think it’s time for bed,” he said, removing his tunic and draping it along the chair of your vanity.

“Can we talk first? There is something important I have to tell you,” you said, taking his hand in yours.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

“Just sit down,” you said, moving him towards the bed. Jimin sat down heavily, looking up at you with a gentle smile.

“Alright my love, what did you want to discuss,” he said, rubbing his face.

He was utterly worn out, and you could see it on his face. But you knew what you were about to say would make it all worth it. It would be okay.

“Jimin, I want you to know something,” you swallowed hard. Trying to keep your emotions from becoming too much.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m fine Jimin. But, I want you to know how much I love you. How much I adore waking up in the morning next to you. And how much I love being your wife,” you said, bringing your hand to his cheek softly.

“I love you too,” he said, a smile appearing on his weary features.

“Jimin, I-I...” you stammered, trying to find the words to get them out. Jimin frowned at your flustered attitude. Normally you could tell him anything, he wondered what had gotten you so worked up.

“Jimin,” you said, walking closer. His sparkling eyes looked up at you and you so hoped the babe in your stomach would inherit those beautiful eyes.

“Jimin I’m with child,” you said, bringing his hand to your stomach.

Jimin’s whole demeanor changed instantaneously.

“What?” He croaked, looking up into your eyes with so much hope.

“Father Jin confirmed it,” you said.

“Y-You’re really pregnant?” He asked, looking at your stomach with a multitude of emotions running across his face.

“Yes,” you said.

“Oh my God, Y/N,” he cried, bringing you into his arms. Big fat tears were rolling down his face, catching in your hair and dressing gown.

“It’s okay, Jimin it’s alright,” you said, holding him tightly.

“I’ve waited for so long to hear those words from you,” he whimpered.

“I was worried that... possibly I couldn’t after-you know. But, I-I know they’re healthy, I can feel it,” you said brightly.

“I know they are too, my love. You’ll care for them so well, they’re going to be so perfect. You’re perfect,” he said, bringing his lips to yours gently.

Smiling into the kiss you attempted to deepen it, longing for your husband's touch. But Jimin quickly pulled away.

“I’m so exhausted my love, would it be okay if I just held you tonight? Both of you?” He asked, looking down at your stomach with so much love it made your heart stammer.

“Of course, Jimin, that’s always okay,” you said.

You both went to bed, sharing innocent pecks and warm words of love for each other.

It was so perfect.

—

Being pregnant was rather grueling task, you’d found out.

There were the weird food cravings. The palace chefs could hardly keep up with you. Then the constant nausea that had plagued you and often made you miss out on certain meals. And the aching of your back and feet was another problem.

But the love you felt for the being inside of you right now, was more than you could’ve ever dreamed.

Although, there was another symptom of your pregnancy that had been particularly hard to handle.

You were ravenous for your husbands touch.

Except, he hadn’t really wanted to do anything like that with you for a while... the last time you two had been intimate was when you made this baby. And that was five months ago.

Now that you were coming into a different stage of your pregnancy, everything was getting harder. Clothing yourself, putting on shoes. It was all so taxing and you mainly wanted to rest.

Unless Jimin was there.

In which case you wanted him to ravish you until the morning came.

But, for some reason, he didn’t feel the same.

Of course he loved you, this wasn’t something you doubted. But he was very busy and you were already pregnant so what was the point in engaging in those kinds of activities if the end goal was achieved... right?

You knew Jimin loved you, he said it and showed it often. But you wished he would take you to bed and pleasure you. Let you have as much of his cum as you wanted. However, something was stopping him.

And you were determined to find out what.

Walking through the palace halls you found your husband admiring the gardens out in front of the castle. Jimin loved seeing the flowers blooming and flourishing with colors. Made him feel light inside.

You came up beside him and looked at the flowers with him. He smiled at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and bringing you close.

The two of you stood like that, in silence for a few moments before you decided to speak.

“Jimin,” you said, keeping your eyes trained outside.

“Yes my love?” He answered, looking at you with pure joy.

“You seem distant lately,” you said, wrapping your arm around his waist.

“Have I? I thought we’d been spending quite a lot of time together... although if you’re feeling neglected I can see if I have more time to spare-”

“I-uh... I’ve noticed that we haven’t been... intimate since we conceived and I was just wondering, if you simply weren’t attracted to me being like this? Or if it’s because we’re already pregnant so there’s no need to try anymore or, um, something else maybe?”

Jimin’s face looked mortified as he tried to gather his scrambled mind and unprepared thoughts.

“Y/N, love no! Of course not! I absolutely adore being intimate with you! And not attracted to you? I-I can’t hardly control myself when I’m around you. Pregnant and swollen with my child,” he said, almost growling out the last part.

“Then why Jimin? Why haven’t you been touching me? Letting me touch you! What’s going on?” You asked, wondering what was causing the distance between your husband and you.

“T-the palace physician warned me about being with you like that, I don’t want to hurt you or the baby,” he said softly.

“But it’s not dangerous-Father Jin was encouraging me to, well as much as he would encourage someone to be intimate...” you said. “He said we should be... with one another as much as we can. It’s good for us to relieve the stress and I’ll never complain about you showing your love to me and my love for you.”

“But, what if I go too hard? What if I, I don’t know, make the baby come early? Or what if-”

“Jimin, my love, these are a lot of what ifs. Not a lot of what will... Nothing will happen to me or the child. That I can promise you,” you said, holding your distended stomach with affection. “You’d never hurt us.”

The young King looked so torn. Like he truly didn’t know what to do.

“I’m just... I’m worried about you,” he said softly, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m tough,” you said, squeezing his hand gently.

“I know, God I know how strong you are. More than fit to be the Queen of this Kingdom, my wife, my equal... But, carrying a child is no small feat,” he said, brushing your hair off your face.

“It isn’t but I’m not doing it alone,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’ve been with me every step of the way. We had rocky beginnings, but look at where we are now. Look at how much we’ve overcome and how much we will overcome in the future. It’s incredible, Jimin. You are the ruler that destroyed the witch Morgana,” you said.

“Actually, you’re the one who dealt the killing blow on that one, I just get all the credit cause I’m the King. Unfair if you ask me,” Jimin laughed lightly.

“What I’m saying is, you’re so brave, stubborn and wickedly smart. Surely you can think of a way in which we can be intimate and it not harm me or the babe?” You said, biting your lip.

“Don’t do that, I’ve been having dreams about your sweet mouth,” he groaned.

“Mmm, have you? Perhaps I should give it to you then, hmm?” You teased.

Jimin was a rather dominant person, but you’d discovered that sometimes he likes to be pushed around in bed. Told what to do and to be praised. It wasn’t something you’d been entirely good at to start, but, with a little practice you’d gotten the hang of it.

“My love,” he croaked.

“Jimin, I know you. I know how careful and gentle you can be. I’ll tell you if anything hurts or if I’m uncomfortable. But please, please take me to bed,” you begged.

Finally, it seemed you broke through. Because soon, you were being practically dragged down the hallway. Jimin’s grip on your wrist was tight, but not enough to hurt. You smirked as he hauled you into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind the two of you.

“God, look at you,” he murmured, coming forward to place his hands on your swollen belly. “So beautiful, so perfect carrying my child.”

“All yours,” you agreed, humming as his lips touched your neck.

“And I’m yours,” he said softly.

“Take this off,” you pleaded, tugging at his shirt with disdain. Giving you a coy grin, he pulled the shirt off and threw it on the floor. You ran your hands over his beautiful body, teasingly pinching his nipple, causing him to flinch.

“Little sprite, I’ll teach you to tease me,” he growled. Wetness pooled between your legs. Jimin came forward, finally connecting your lips.

Kissing Jimin was something you’d never tire of. You were certain. The way his plush lips moved over yours with reckless abandon make you squirm. His mouth captured your own, pulling you into a romantic embrace as the pair of you shared your breath.

“Jimin,” you whispered as he pulled away.

“What is it my love? What do you desire?” He asked, moving his lips along your jawline.

“Whatever you’ll give me, I want it all,” you pleaded.

“My my, so greedy. What a greedy Queen I have,” he tutted. You whined at his tone, wanting nothing more for the clothes between you to be removed.

“I just want you, only you,” you pleaded.

“You have me my love, all of me,” he said, kissing you softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, cradling his head. You felt the back of your bed against your knees, forcing you to sit down while Jimin kissed you with such ferocity it made your poor core clench tightly around nothing.

“And you have all of me in return,” you smiled. Jimin pushed you onto your back, making you stare at the ceiling. Your heart was hammering so hard in your chest, you could feel it in your throat.

“I-Is it okay if I pleasure you? With my mouth?” He asked, looking at you beneath his long lashes. You smiled and brushed his hair from his face gently, but this was not without difficulty, you swollen tummy proving to be an obstacle.

“Mmm, that does sound nice. But, you have had me wait five months for you. I’m slightly tempted to skip the foreplay and go right for the main event,” you mused, watching as Jimin’s eyes inflated slightly. You smiled at his obvious desire for you, before you sat up and undid the ties at the front of your gown. Jimin watched as your chest relaxed, breasts bigger than they were before you’d gotten pregnant.

“I-If you’re wet enough,” he said, licking his lips.

“Why don’t you check?” You said, peeling your dress from your shoulders and easing the fabric down. Jimin moved so you could wiggle out of the offending material and lay naked on the bed. He was astounded and slightly concerned that you hadn’t been wearing any undergarments underneath.

“Oh my beautiful wife, how lucky am I to have someone like you...” he trailed off, gazing at your center with wanton desire.

“I’m just as lucky, if not more so,” you smiled, tugging on his ashy locks, earning you a warning grunt in response.

“A husband who neglects his wife for months on end? Surely you jest with me,” he chuckled sadly.

“You are more than attentive. Sometimes smothering, but never neglectful. Jimin listening to the palace physician isn’t wrong. He just happens to think he knows everything while Father Jin has had actual experience with pregnancy and birth. By the way, he will be delivering our child, not that ridiculous palace physician. I’d rather not have him near me when I’m giving birth,” you huffed, pouting slightly.

“Oh? I see, who else did you want there while you deliver? I know I should’ve asked this but-”

“You, Father Jin to deliver and Jungkook as well as Taehyung. Yoongi and Namjoon, and... Hoseok,” you said pondering for a moment.

“Those are all men, Y/N,” Jimin reminded, pouting from above you.

“And? Hoseok is our Godfather for the child, I believe he should be there. Jungkook is good in a crisis and also has knowledge of pregnancy and birth from his mother. Taehyung is such a dear friend, I certainly want him there. Yoongi is always calm and collected, and Namjoon would just feel left out if I didn’t include him!”

“You missed one,” he frowned.

“Of course I want you there silly. It’s your fault I’m like this, so you’re going to be there for the whole thing, no stepping out and no leaving me, understood?” You asked, raising a brow at him. Jimin just nodded.

“It’s not just my fault you’re like this, I don’t ever recall you saying no,” he snarked.

“I’m also not saying no now, if we could get back on track?” You asked, bringing his hand to your throbbing center. Jimin seemed to get the message as he rubbed his fingers along your slit, collecting your slick between the pads of his fingers and your skin.

“My love, so ready for me,” he murmured, coming in closer to kiss your neck. You let out a sigh of pleasure, running your hands down his back, scratching along the skin gently, causing goosebumps to rise in your wake. He groaned as you gripped his ass in your palms, causing him to rut forward like a pup in heat. You smirked at his enthusiasm, squeezing once more before he whined against your skin.

“Oh!” You gasped as he entered one finger inside your tight heat. A soft groan came from his cherry red lips, causing you to clamp down on the digit inside of you. Jimin moved his finger gently, stretching your hole out carefully. Everything he did, he did with purpose. It made your heart stammer in your chest as you could feel another finger slipping in next to the first one.

“So tight,” he growled, pumping in and out of you with a delicious tempo that had your hips grinding down against his hand. “You’re soaking the bed my darling.”

“I-I can’t help it, you feel too good,” you moaned.

“Mm, you sure I can’t have a taste? Just a little bit wouldn’t hurt,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. You wanted so badly to encourage his devilish mouth, but you gripped his wrist and forced him to stop moving those dangerous fingers inside of you.

He looked worried for a moment. But you smoothed your thumb over his brow.

“I can’t wait any more, please don’t make me wait,” you whined, humping against his fingers. “Give it to me, please. Fill me up.”

Jimin’s eyes turned dark as he pulled his hand away from your center. Watching with rapt attention you saw him take his sticky digits and put them in his mouth, sucking lewdly on your arousal. Jimin made a show of it. Licking and sucking on his fingers, trying to get every last drop of your essence off of his fingers. He was also proving that he could pleasure you with his mouth if you’d only let him.

“You want my cock? Want it so bad huh? My beautiful Queen, you want it? Huh? Tell me why I should give it to you?” He said, eyes glazing over as you presented yourself on all fours for him.

“Because, I’ve been so good for you. I’m carrying your baby, so pregnant and full, but not full enough. I need more, more of your cum Jimin. Want more of it leaking from me, please, remind me how you got me pregnant. Please, won’t you give me your cock? Your cum? Please, I want it so badly,” you pleaded.

Jimin’s eyes darkened further. He knew you were good at begging, it was one of his favorite things to teach you, because you learned so quickly what he liked. And he would never be able to deny such an earnest request.

“If that’s what you want my love, then you’ll have it. Have me,” he agreed, moving off the bed to push his pants and underwear to the ground before coming back to the bed. You felt his presence behind you, smoothing over your back gently. “Is this position okay? Or do you need something different?” He asked, kissing your shoulder.

“This is okay, I’m comfortable,” you encouraged. “Now, fuck me.”

Jimin needed no further words as he sank into you slowly for the first time in months. The pair of you breathed out heavy sighs as you finally felt the fullness you’d been craving for weeks. Jimin choked on a moan when you flexed your walls around him, making him buck into you a little harsher than expected.

“Sorry! I haven’t-Since we haven’t been doing anything I haven’t even pleasured myself, I haven’t had the time, you feel so good around me, fuck,” he moaned out, gripping your hips firmly.

“It’s okay, I won’t last long. I’ve missed you so much,” you moaned, your fists tightening in the bed sheets beneath you.

“Oh shit,” he growled, bucking into you again, building a steady rhythm that had your chest jolting almost painfully. Your core was soaking, and Jimin wasn’t letting up. He was fucking into you so hard some of your arousal was falling down your thighs.

“Jimin, harder,” you pleaded, head falling into the mattress. Your husband didn’t have to be told twice as he started rutting into your wet heat with vigor.

“I’ve been thinking about this everyday since you told me you were pregnant,” he snarled, pulling all the way out just to force himself back in once more. You cried out when his fingers found your clit, causing you to grind back against him. The air rushed from his lungs as he watched you practically use him for your own pleasure.

“Everyday? Then why didn’t you do anything?” You whined, bouncing back against him harshly. Jimin swallowed hard as he tried to stave off his looming orgasm.

“Because the physician... I was worried I’d hurt you or the baby, like I said earlier. But now that I know this is safe, don’t expect to be able to walk for a while,” he warned, pulling on your sensitive nipples gingerly. You cried out into the mattress when milk started to leak down Jimin’s hand. He watched as the pearly white substance soaked the sheets beneath you like your arousal had earlier.

“Fuck! Jimin, keep going please!” You begged when he got distracted by your chest practically flooding the bed.

“Have you not been expressing the milk? Doesn’t it hurt?” He asked.

“Yes, it aches so much during the day and I’m so sensitive when I try to sleep. Sometimes I wake up and my nightdress is soaked from milk,” you whined, trying to reach for him so he would keep pounding into you.

“Mm, since I didn’t get to have a taste of your pussy... Maybe you’ll let me have something else instead,” he teased, licking the milk off of his hands and groaning when it hit his tastebuds.

“More, please more!” You begged. Jimin noticed your frantic bouncing and eased you into a spooning position. He was still throbbing inside of you, but you could feel his head come to your shoulder, placing soft kisses against it.

“Let me drink from you, it must hurt my darling. So full and heavy with milk for our child, but they can share, surely?” He teased, kissing the side of your breast while giving shallow thrusts to your womanhood.

“You can have it, whatever you want as long as you keep fucking me. Please, Jimin, I’m so close,” you whimpered. Sensing your urgency Jimin started his brutal pace back up. You cried out in bliss when his mouth met your sensitive nipple. Jimin gently suckled at your chest, causing more milk to enter his mouth.

He groaned at the flavor and gave a few sharp ruts into your clenching pussy. You were besides yourself with pleasure, almost in tears at all the stimulation.

Jimin wasn’t doing much better. Five months without even masturbating was proving to be his end far too quickly.

“Y/N, I’m going to cum. Are you close?” He asked, reaching down to push at your clit gently.

“Yes! Right there, pleasepleaseplease! Jimin,” you cried. Your walls tightened beyond belief, causing Jimin to freeze in his thrusting. He watched your face as you fell apart for him, causing him to reach his end as well. A cry of your name on his lips as ropes of hot cum painted your walls milky white. Jimin shuddered in overstimulation as you continued to clench yourself around his spent cock.

The pair of you lay there, clutching each other in the afterglow as you tried to catch your breath. Jimin decided to move first, pulling his still twitching length from your abused center. You watched as he stood on wobbly legs and came back with a towel to clean you up with. A soft smile took over your features as you spread your legs easily for him.

After he was satisfied, you opened your arms for him. Jimin moved forward without hesitation, wrapping your exhausted body with his own. He kissed the top of your head, then around your jaw and finally a firm kiss was placed on your lips.

“I love you so much my darling,” he smiled, resting his head on the pillow.

“I love you too, we both do.”

—

You’d never thought that giving birth would be a pleasant experience.

But never in your entire life did you imagine it would hurt this much.

The contractions had started early in the morning. Making you wake Jimin with a frantic push.

“My love what is it?” He asked, sitting up in the bed with a bewildered look on his face.

“Get Father Jin right now,” you demanded, leaning forward to hold your severely swollen stomach. Jimin was out of bed and quickly called the guards to get the Priest from his room as fast as possible.

They yelled back their confirmation before they hurried off. You felt the distinct cramping from your groin and moaned low in pain. Jimin came back over to you, looking at you with worry etched onto his features.

“Do you want anything? Anyone? I’ll call for whatever you need,” he said, taking your shaking hands in his.

“Good morning,” you whispered, giving him a weak smile.

“Good morning,” he smiled back, kissing your knuckles gently.

Soon you were in a different room entirely, getting settled into the blankets and all the people close to you had been summoned.

Jungkook and Taehyung had gotten there first, both excited and ready for the proceedings.

“Lady Y/N! It’s really happening? Oh my gosh! I’m so excited for you,” Jungkook said, coming over to place a gentle kiss on your hand out of respect.

“Thank you Jungkook, how is training the new recruits going?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from the pain.

“Oh that’s all boring! We don’t want to hear about that!” Taehyung said, coming next to you and also kissing your hand.

“Maybe she does my Lord,” Jungkook sneered. You knew the two of them had always had a friendly competition going on. But, right now you shushed them and told them to go sit down.

Hoseok and Namjoon were next, coming in shortly after Taehyung and Jungkook.

“My lady,” Namjoon said, taking to his knee in front of you.

“There’s no need for that right now, Namjoon. How are you? We haven’t had tea in a while, and I fear if this babe comes now we might not for a long while yet,” you teased and Namjoon just smiled as he stood up.

“We can sneak some tea in soon my Lady, leave the child with the King to see how he fares,” he smirked. Jimin was pouting. You knew it without even looking at him.

“I might have to do that,” you smiled. Hoseok came over quickly after, kissing your hand a few times before looking at you with excitement.

“Is there anything you want? Anything you need? I know you’re not supposed to eat anything right now but maybe some water?” He asked.

“It’s so sweet of you to offer, but right now I’m just tired and a little cranky,” you laughed, trying to keep yourself in good spirits.

Hoseok seemed to understand, giving your hand a soft squeeze before walking over to talk with Namjoon and Jungkook.

“Where’s Yoongi? And Father Jin?” You asked, looking around.

“We’re here!” Father Jin said, a bright smile on his face as he escorted a grumpy looking Yoongi through the doorway.

“Yeah, here,” Yoongi said, yawning and scowling at the older man.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” you whispered, reaching out for the stoic man. His resolve quickly melted as he came by and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand.

“I’m sure you’d rather be sleeping now too, but I’m fine. Are you alright?” He asked, looking at you with an intensity you always forgot he possessed.

“Yes, just some contractions right now. My water hasn’t broken yet,” you said. Yoongi nodded and looked at Jimin with a soft smile.

“How are you faring, feeling okay?” He asked, looking at the father to be with kind eyes.

“Nervous, but happy,” he confirmed, taking your hand in his.

“Wonderful,” he yawned, going to sit down and hopefully doze off while you were still in the early stages.

Father Jin gathered everyone up and they all listened attentively to whatever he had to say. The day progressed and your water hadn’t broken yet, but the men all stayed, asking if there was anything you needed, holding your hand if you felt a particularly rough contraction.

But most importantly, Jimin was right by your side the whole time.

When your water did finally break, it was like hell also had broken loose.

It was later, probably afternoon when you felt it happen.

Father Jin was suddenly on his feet demanding towels and hot water for you, as well as some herbs that would help numb the pain as much as they could. Jimin looked panic stricken when you clutched onto his hand.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, brushing your hair away from your face.

“I’m scared,” you whispered, another wave of pain crashing through you without remorse.

“I’m scared too,” he confessed. “But I know you can do it. You’re already the perfect wife, now you’re going to be the perfect mother... Our child is almost here,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“Jungkook, Lord Taehyung each of you grab a leg and hold them please,” Father Jin said as he sat in front of you. Both men looked shocked at the idea, but you and Jimin both nodded, giving them permission.

Jungkook gently placed his hands on your calf and pushed your leg back holding it in position for you. Taehyung did the same, each of them keeping their eyes respectful.

“Why do we have to hold her legs?” Taehyung asked, looking at Jungkook.

“Gives her more leverage and relieves some of the pressure on her back,” Jungkook answered.

“The only problem is it can close off the birthing canal at an awkward angle, but for now this is the best position to give her a break,” Father Jin said.

When you started pushing, you felt your lower back ache with how much strain you were under. Jimin could only watch as you cried out in pain when Father Jin urged you to keep going.

Everyone in the room was tense with worry.

Your health had always been fragile, even after coming back from the dead you still fell sick easily and had trouble with your lungs. But Father Jin was focused on the baby, while Jimin was focused on you.

“I never expected it to hurt this much,” Namjoon whispered, watching on in horror as his Queen and dear friend struggled to keep conscious through the pain.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” you wailed. Hoseok was quick to grab a bucket that was formerly filled with water and held it as you threw up. Jimin smoothed his hands down your back, trying to keep himself from crying. Jungkook and Taehyung had given you a break with your legs so you could turn as you emptied your stomach.

“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, kissing your shoulder gently.

“Sit back straight, Y/N, you need to keep pushing,” Father Jin said. You were delirious with pain and exhaustion. You needed something to keep you grounded. The one thing you knew would always keep you grounded.

“My love, talk to me, just keep talking to me,” you pleaded, voice hoarse with how much you’d been crying.

“Y/N, it’s alright,” Jimin soothed, kissing your sweaty forehead with worry. “They’re almost here, we’re so close to meeting our baby. We’re so close to being a family.”

“Alright your Majesty another big push on the count of three, one... two... three!” Father Jin said, you pushed hard and felt nothing but sheer agony as the child started crowning.

“I can see the head!” Hoseok said, standing behind Father Jin, now hanging onto Yoongi tightly.

“Oh my God,” you cried, head falling back on the pillows.

“Keep pushing Y/N!” Father Jin said, preparing a cloth.

“I can’t, I really can’t, I’ll die if I keep going please,” you stammered. Taehyung and Jungkook shared an anxious look. Namjoon looked at you with fear written all over his features.

“My love, look at me,” Jimin said softly, bringing your eyes to his.

“It hurts, I can’t... Please don’t make me, ah!” You cried out as you felt another contraction.

“Y/N you need to push! Hard as you can,” Father Jin said, looking at your situation.

“Keep going Lady Y/N,” Jungkook said, looking up to your weary face. He’d seen several women give birth in his village, his mother being a midwife. But, to see someone he cared about going through this was difficult.

“You’ll be alright, you will. But if you stop pushing you’re putting you and the baby in danger,” Father Jin warned.

“How much longer?” You cried, giving another hard push.

“You’re so close,” Yoongi said, watching you with concern.

“You’re doing great!” Taehyung chirped, watching on in amazement.

He couldn’t wait to have his own family...

“The head is almost out, come on Y/N, keep going,” Father Jin said.

“Jimin,” you whimpered, clutching his hand as you gave the hardest push yet.

“I love you so much, keep going Y/N, I love you,” he whispered into your ear. You pushed again and finally, finally there was some relief.

“Oh my God!” Hoseok yelped, gripping onto Yoongi’s arm so tight he was certain that he was going to break his limb.

“You’re going to rip my arm off! Father Jin is a little busy right now!” Yoongi growled.

“Can you give me one more push? Just one more,” Jimin asked, kissing your shoulder. Looking at him with tears in your eyes you nodded, giving another strong push before soft cries filled the room.

“It’s a boy!”

“A prince!”

“Congratulations your majesties!”

You slumped back onto the bed, breathing heavily when a small bundle was placed on your chest. Looking down you saw your son, wiped off haphazardly and clutching your nightdress tightly.

“Oh Y/N,” Jimin whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“He’s so handsome!” Hoseok cooed, looking on at you and Jimin both. Father Jin had you push a few more times to deliver the afterbirth, but nothing was as intense as giving birth to your son.

“Ji...min...” you breathed, eyes growing heavy.

“Can she rest Father?” Taehyung asked, looking at the little prince attached to his mother with tear filled eyes.

“Not yet, Y/N, stay awake,” Father Jin warned.

“Why...?” You asked, slowly taking in deep breaths.

“I need to check you and the baby over, and he needs to feed,” Father Jin said softly, cleaning you up still. Your eyes were still heavy, but you heard your baby crying softly on your chest.

Instinctively you shushed him, bringing him to your chest so he could latch on. After a little struggle, he was feeding eagerly. You brushed his hair gently, watching with sleepy eyes as he ate his fill.

Father Jin came over, congratulating you on a wonderful delivery. He did tell you everything you needed to do for the coming days, encouraging you to stay in bed and keep the baby close to form a relationship. He also told Jimin to take the baby and have time as well.

“It’s important that you two stay together for this coming week, I’ll make sure that the advisors and everyone just leaves you alone unless it is absolutely life or death,” Father Jin said, looking at your babe with a tenderness that made your heart swell.

“What’s the baby’s name? Hmm? What do we call our new prince?” Namjoon asked, raising a brow.

“Jihoon?” You asked, looking at Jimin for confirmation.

“It’s perfect,” Jimin agreed, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“Prince Jihoon, I’ll let the advisors and everyone know,” Taehyung said, running into the hall.

“Lord Taehyung! Just hang on a second!” Namjoon yelled, chasing after the excited noble.

“We’d better go and make sure they don’t get into any trouble,” Yoongi said to Jungkook, patting his shoulder before guiding the younger male out the door.

“As much as I’d love to spend time with my Godchild, I have to make sure that my brother and friends don’t cause a scene,” Hoseok said. He came up and gave your hand a gentle kiss. “Congratulations Lady Y/N, I’m truly happy for you.”

With that he left the room, followed shortly by Father Jin.

You and Jimin were alone with your baby, the soft sound of his gurgles filling the room. Jimin looked down at you, eyes watery as he kissed your child’s head. You brushed the tears away from his face, even though exhaustion was flooding your aching body, you wanted to make sure he was okay too. He had also been through a lot today.

“I love you,” you said, watching as more tears fell from his eyes.

“I love you too, both of you... So much,” he whimpered. “That was the most beautiful and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to experience.”

“Heartbreaking?” You wondered out loud.

“To see you in so much pain, and there was nothing I could do about it,” he said, looking at your child, hands shaking.

“It’s alright, I’m okay now,” you said, holding his hand in your clammy one. Jimin pressed a delicate kiss to your wrist, looking up at you with so much love and adoration.

“I’m sorry you hurt so much, if I could take your pain I would,” he said, brushing your hair back.

“Doesn’t hurt anymore,” you mumbled, eyes closing slowly. “Just tired now...”

“Sleep my love, we’ll be here when you wake up.”

And they were.

And they always would be.

Forever.

[reverielix]

hellooo, since i am very into astrology as well, i’d love if you could do a lee know as boyfriend based on his chart^^ i know we still don’t know about his venus sign (if libra or scorpio), so just choose which one you think suits him best, thank you in advance!

Ooo this sounds fun👀💕

First of all, I’m pretty convinced he’s a Gemini rising (8pm), which means he has a Scorpio Venus. His voice (2nd house) sounds more like Cancer (calming, rather comforting, not very high) than Sagittarius-like (high-pitched, loud, mood-maker) and he just gives me Gemini vibes haha He gives off a playful appearance more than an intense aura (though his glares send Hyunjin running, I think that’s more his inner Scorpio stellium coming through). If he’s a Gemini rising, his chart ruler would be in Scorpio, which could give him that more round face, and in the 6th house, which could give him a youthful appearance paired with those eyes🥰. Lastly, his rising’s decan would be Libra, which could also contribute to a rather round face than the typical Gemini rising’s rather slim appearance (+ Libra rules the butt lol and we all know Minho‘s shameless liking toward the members’ butts haha) He’s also pretty outgoing and chatty, which his mc in Aquarius and Gemini rising can also point at. I do want to point out that guessing any celebrity’s placements is like trying to guess their mc persona chart’s placements because their image is very controlled and what they do is extremely calculated/regulated.

So now that we’ve settled that, let’s get started!!💫

⇢ confession/beginning stages

I feel like he would be really flirty and straightforward because of his rising and Mercury as well as his Venus. His flirting style is versatile and adaptable to the person (Moon in Sagittarius in the 7th house, Gemini rising), and at first he’d try to keep it less intense, smile/smirk a little (his smile also contributes to my tendency to view him as a Gemini rising rather than a Scorpio rising😌).

When he’s gotten more comfortable around the other person and they seemingly are comfortable around him as well, he’d start letting his intense aura and Scorpio stellium come to shine as he’d enjoy making the other person feel flustered, though his Scorpio Venus suggests that he’d love for somebody to do that with him as well, seeing as his Sun-Venus conjunction doesn’t only indicate confidence, but also that he’s attracted to people who are similar to him.

His confession would be overall heartfelt, genuine, romantic and intense. His way with words (moon in 7th since he’s talking about his emotions here, Gemini rising, well aspected Mercury) would allow him to talk without stuttering too much or at all, though I can see him being nervous (his emotions are strong, and when he loves, he LOVES).

⇢ overall behavior in relationship

Once he finds himself in a relationship with somebody, he’d be pretty dedicated and loyal, which he’d expect from his partner as well. Other than Jeongin for instance, he wouldn’t be really big on personal space, instead he would be keen on skin ship and always want to touch his s/o’s butt 🤭.

His Venus lies in opposition to his Saturn in Taurus (no orb), which suggests feelings of insecurity and unworthiness which stems from criticism by authority figures and lack of affection (especially from a father or father-figure). Here, the planet of relays and restrictions can indicate a late recognition of that he deserves happiness instead of pity and love instead of loneliness (this aspect also indicates a feeling of unworthiness of financial success, so he may feel like he doesn’t deserve his place as an idol). Loving himself can thereby be a challenging road that he for a long time didn’t even know he had to take. This can result in insecurities being projected onto the other person or a detachment from his s/o as he is scared to show them all of him out of fear of rejection or not being accepted. Just like with all Saturn aspects, with hard work and age comes a great deal of contentment and what he’s understood he deserves (money and love in regards to Venus and Saturn).

Meanwhile, Neptune is in a square with Venus, (1° orb) which points out a deception and inability to draw a clear line between judgement and his gut feeling. In this case, he can take things his s/o says very personally, though he might act as if nothing’s wrong (Scorpio stellium,...). People with this aspect typically dream to escape reality as well as are languid and messy (missing/coming late to dates although he’s strongly dedicated to the relationship, he may just forget or feel secretly hurt about something that wasn’t really offensive but he made out to be). This sensitivity toward what others say feeds into the Saturn-Venus aspect and a feeling of inadequacy and dishonorability. Overall, his Venus (love style, behavior in relationships, desires, attraction) is badly aspected in his chart, though his s/o and their personality is a key-point to look at in any relationship.

As a boyfriend in general, Minho may be extremely emotionally invested, possessive, devoted and sharing. Once he’s with someone, he gives himself to that person. Additionally, his Venus in the 5th along with his Sun in the 5th and conjunct his Venus suggest a very present and, again, dedicated lover who loves with his whole heart and all he’s got (meanwhile he makes an effort to look especially detached and funny/playful in public or in front of cameras, which, among other placements, his mc in Aquarius hints at). Lastly he may be excellent at boosting his partner’s confidence, yet may also need validation back. (Can I just say that his Sun and Venus in the 5th make his chart the one of a born performer, which obviously shows + his love for art shows here as well🤓😊.)

⇢ dates

His Scorpio Venus in the 5th makes me think of spontaneous, grand-gesture dates that take place where he’s granted privacy with his s/o and everything’s only about the two. He may wants to move around, like go to an abandoned park where the grass is a little too high and play games/teach them a dance before they watch the stars when the night comes🥺💫. I can see him being very romantic and bold, so he may just sneak kisses here and there (5th house suggests spontaneity and the thrill of surprises). Here are brief moments of how I imagine a date with him:

“I’m bored. Let’s go somewhere.”

he walks toward his room’s red oak panel door

“Where do you want to go?”

your naked feet follow his to the cold stone floor behind the door

“Let’s decide on the way.”

over pine trees and bushes his reflection distracts you

eyes are narrowed when he’s concentrated, wrinkles adorn his cheeks

“5 minutes.”

“Huh?” you turn your head

“I’ve figured out a place, we’re only gonna need another 5 minutes.”

“Want a kiss? Come and get it then!”

he trips over dandelions and grass, smug-smiling, and doesn’t slow down

your feet stomp the grass, your determination takes over

after two breaks of resting your arms on your thighs, he gives in, lets you win

“I did that on purpose.”

“I don’t care.”

right legs cross the lefts and knees buckle while arms swing up, fingers fold out and eyebrows are raised

dancing is way harder than it looks, you’ve just figured

behind gracious twirls hide strength and control, something the slippery lawn hampers

“No, the feet need to be pointed in a different angle.” Minho held his hands out flat.

amidst your ambition to strech your arm “elegantly”, sunset hugs your silhouettes around the shadows

distant stars create a pattern in everless darkness, the waning gibbous moon sheds light

“Do you ever think of death?” your eyes dart the distance

“Like how? Don’t we all?” his trace the sharp shadow of your nose cast on your cheek

“We’re just such a small fragment of the universe. Gone before it even noticed us.”

“No, I believe we’re here for a reason. I think we have a big presence in the universe. Life is so magical, and so is death. It scares most, because it’s unpredictable. But so is tomorrow.”

Existential conversation with Minho™️

⇢ kisses

Ooooooo his s/o is in for something😳 The Scorpio stellium and 5th house Sun conjunct Venus suggests passion and bold, unexpected actions. He doesn’t just kiss for fun. If he kisses, he KISSES. The Virgo Mars also adds a feeling of security. I can see how he likes “crossing lines” and being bold, though it feels comfortable and safe. A lil types of kisses list...

obvi the passing food one lol

a sudden one that takes the other’s breath away

one in which he holds the other’s waist/cups their cheeks and forgets about everything around him

salty ones after a reunion or fight

one in which breaths are shared

a combination of kisses he thought of the night before when he couldn’t sleep (very unusual, but if anyone can pull it off with confidence, it’s Minho)

It was so much fun making this haha💞 hope u like it!🌫

[sadachmesarthim]

coercive notions - stucky

content: semi-graphic violence, blood, minor character deaths, emotional manipulation and abuse, false imprisonment, kidnapping, torture in the form of nonconsensual body modifications, stockholm syndrome.

dead dove: do not eat. steve sucks big time in this one. i’m not really sorry about it. 

note: happy 6k followers to @sweeterthanthis​ !!! i love the idea of these prompts, they definitely did their job !! i was thrilled when i saw i got my quote of choice. this one’s based on ”i wish i knew how to quit you” from brokeback mountain (my favorite angsty husbands) 

if the timeline is nonsensical in this - think 2 years post engame but no one's actually died! there is also some background starker but it's only mentioned twice. this is my first time writing for steve and bucky, and my first ~dark~ piece. it was definitely the challenge it presented itself as, and i’m super thankful for the opportunity to participate alongside so many talented witers!! 

word count: 4.2k ; read time 15 minutes

Steve'd survived because of Bucky. 

Bucky was the one that kept the fevers at bay, bought him medicine, nursed him back to health even when neither of them thought he'd survive through the night. Bucky was the one that dragged him out of the river, and left him alive on the bank.

Left him to wake up. 

Bucky was the one that welcomed him with open arms when Steve was abandoned by the Avengers. Steve'd lost his home, his family - everyone and everything he had - when the world rejected him (the millionth time). Bucky was the one that came back. He'd lost his arm, his identity, everyone and everything he remembered - but he still ran to Steve without hesitation. No matter how far away they got, no matter what separated them, they always came back to one another. 

They got together right after the fight with Tony in Siberia. 

They'd found each other, and suddenly gained a future. 

Steve had never... really pictured himself having a future. When he was younger, he accepted that he'd die young. A fever that wouldn't break, a cough that wouldn't leave, pneumonia he couldn't beat... Then he joined the army. He suddenly... had possibilities.

But there was still war, he was still fighting, and he was still in the line of danger every single day. It didn't matter if he was fighting Hitler, homophobia, Hydra, - someone was always gunning for him. Someone was always trying to get him killed. And it worked! He died! Crashed straight into the ocean and froze, for seventy fucking years!

Until someone had the audacity to defrost him, and yet again force him into the line of fire. Without really consulting him first. It was something Steve was slowly coming to terms with - he’d always be fighting, always be serving, always be protecting. 

He’d been failing his job as a protector, lately. 

+//////+

They all thought it was a bit weird, but then again, so is living with two men that look seventy years younger than they actually are. So is living with your coworkers. So is being a superhero. So of course none of the other Avengers said anything. 

Not when Bucky started asking Steve permission for things - to get up from, and leave, the table after meetings. If he could get seconds during breakfast or dinner. If he was allowed to come on patrols or missions. Everyone just assumed it was a forties thing, or that it was just Bucky getting more comfortable around them. The dirtier minds of the group (Tony, Peter, Natasha) chalked it up to a kinky sex thing. 

Steve saw it as devotion. 

Bucky saw it as a way to keep him appeased. 

See, Steve'd gotten more... irritable, lately. Every time Bucky got hurt on patrol, was in a bad position during a mission, needlessly volunteered to do something dangerous  - it pissed Steve off to high heavens, for no reason. It'd gotten significantly worse over the course of a few months, to the point where Bucky could barely breathe without Steve getting upset. 

It came to a head one day when Bucky got pinned during a fight with New York's latest nuisance. He wasn't even supposed to be there, it was his day off, for fucks sake. But he'd heard the call go out, and suited up before following a few minutes behind the rest of the crew. 

This particular species of big nasty™ (a xorrian dog? Thor had called it?) had an... upsetting taste for live, warm flesh. He popped up outta nowhere over Manhattan during the Friday morning rush, apparently scouting Earth for the next course in their Milky Way Dinner Service. 

Bucky, self sacrificing moron that he is, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as Steve laid down the final blow, narrowly avoiding the alien's jaw, Bucky slid underneath it, shoving his hand between the soft plating of the monster's stomach. He reached in, single-handedly gutting the thing while Steve put a shield-sized dent in its skull.

Their foe dropped almost instantly, crushing Bucky beneath several tons of dead weight. None of them would have known he was there, either, if Tony hadn’t programmed life-sensing protocols in a new combat arm he’d gifted the soldier for his second anniversary home and Hydra-free. A signal went to Tony’s suit the instant FRIDAY sensed structural integrity issues, sending him a precise location.

“What do you mean he’s here, babygirl? We didn’t call him in.” The worry in Tony’s voice was apparent, calling the attention of the rest of his team. They were all intrigued, prematurely pulled from their celebrations of a fight well won. 

“It seems that Sergeant Barnes is approximately twenty paces northwest of your location, and his elevation is slowly decreasing. Would you like a map of the area?”  

“Uhh, no Fri. I think I know exactly where he is. Cap, get your ass over here!” His heart rate was increasing by the second. If he thought correctly (as Tony almost always did), Bucky was... underneath the alien. “We need to pick this fucker up, or flip it, or something. I think Bucky’s stuck under it.” 

Steve’s blood ran cold. “Tony, what the fuck are you talking about? Bucky wasn’t part of the group today.” 

Steve didn’t hide his anxiety well when it came to Bucky. Their team knew that he was Steve’s whole world. One more life threatening situation, and Steve might actually die from old age with all the years Bucky’d stressed out of him. FRIDAY sending a detailed ping with Bucky’s combat arm location didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety, either. He knew it was just like Bucky to do something like this - jump in without word, all act and no think. Try to help his team out and wind up crushed by an alien pet the size of a 787.

Peter was next to them, soon, ready to help get this thing off their friend. Together, they managed to drag Mister Beast-of-the-Week far enough down the street, revealing a very unconscious, very bloody Winter Soldier nestled in the asphalt. 

Steve was on him in a second, picking Bucky up with both hands. Tony already had FRIDAY doing preliminary scans and sending them back to Cho and Strange. Initial reads weren’t terrible, all things considered, but he still looked like shit. He might be five hundred times stronger than the average man, but no one’s prepared to be stuck under 200 tons of pure xeno-reptilian mass. Not even Bucky Barnes. 

His head rolled back freely as Steve picked him up, exposing an already bruised and swelling jaw. Steve’s breath caught in his throat, choking him on his own shock. Saved by the bell, Cho called Tony back immediately, sending for one of them to bring him to the tower surgical site immediately. 

“We have to go, Steve. Let us take him, we’ll get him fixed. We’ve done it before. We can do it again. But you have to let him go.” Steve’s upward glance brought him Tony’s exasperated face. He was dizzy, everything felt like slow motion. 

He didn’t register the movement until he saw it, watching Peter’s hands as they held him back. Tony took Bucky’s lifeless form, carrying him toward Stark Tower and away from the wreckage. 

The wreckage he shouldn’t have been anywhere near in the first place. 

The wreckage he wouldn’t even have known about if he didn’t beg Tony to be included in all mission alerts. 

The wreckage he would have avoided if it weren’t for the martyr complex he’d had since birth. It might not be nearly as strong as Steve’s, but it was still there. Bucky’d always gone to obscene lengths protecting the people he loved. 

Steve had a track record of doing a piss poor job of repaying the favor. He couldn’t save him from the war. He couldn’t save him from the train, or from Hydra. He couldn’t save him from Thanos. He couldn’t even save him from a stupid little skirmish downtown. No, from where he was standing, Steve’d fucked up. Big time. 

He promised that day, he wasn’t going to let anything like this happen again. 

+//////+

It was weeks before he was back to normal, and even then - Bucky wasn't entirely sure he wanted to leave. Not because he was still sore, or not feeling up to par. In fact, he'd been antsier and more ready to get back into the field than ever. He missed his friends, he missed the people he fought evil with every day. He missed sparring with Sam and going on runs with Peter, listening as Thor regaled stories about Old Asgard no one.. could quite follow. Missed the twice weekly calls from Shuri. But most of all, he missed his freedom. 

Steve wasn't ready to give it to him. 

When he woke up after surgery, Steve was right next to his recovery bed. He almost looked like he did back in the day - sleep deprived, worry lines forcing their way to the surface of his face. Vague frustration enveloped him, even when he met Bucky's conscious form for the first time. 

Their first few conversations were tender, loving, but it didn't take long for them to sour. 

Steve'd insisted on bringing Bucky back to their shared floor immediately after he woke. He allowed Cho to look him over, FRIDAY to scan him, everyone to come say hi - but he never let Bucky out of his sight. Not while Bucky was awake, anyway. 

He slept a lot in those first few days. He was still healing, and while it might have been much faster than anyone expected, he was also recovering from what should have been several deaths over. He spent most of his time in bed, asleep, or talking to Steve. 

Most of it was lecture, some was praise. How stupid he was to get involved on his day off. How much Steve loved him. How he wasn't allowed to go being a martyr like that again. How much Steve loved him. How Steve was going to do a better job of watching over him from now on. How much Steve loved him. 

There was a lot of that, after Bucky woke up. How much Steve loved him. How important Bucky was to him, how much it meant to him that Bucky was alive and breathing and conscious and okay. Every time he got a lecture, or a reminder, Steve's hand was on him somewhere. His shoulder, his wrist, his face. His throat. Every time he spoke, he squeezed, just the tiniest bit. Not threatening, not even to force acknowledgement. Just.. Because he could. To the untrained eye, it was just physical contact. 

Bucky knew better. 

Bucky knew conditioning when he saw it. When he felt it. 

Bucky also knew he was significantly more susceptible to conditioning than most people. 

Bucky was fucked. 

+//////+

Tony didn't think anything of it when Steve asked for handcuffs that could hold a supersoldier back. He, too, was a pervert with a genetically enhanced super-boyfriend, who was he to deny the Captain a little fun? He'd designed restraints Peter could use without breaking (or hurting himself!), why not share the love?

No one thought anything of it when Bucky stopped joining them on missions. Trauma has a different effect on everyone, maybe Bucky just needed time to process almost dying (again). No one would blame him for it. Hell, most of them encouraged his staying home. 

None of them... really thought anything of it when he quit leaving altogether. They trusted Steve's judgement, and if he didn't think Bucky was ready to leave, then he wasn't. Bucky knew better than to defy him, too - just kept his mouth shut around "yes, Steve"s and "okay, Steve"s.

The conditioning didn't stop as he got stronger. He'd been back to 100% weeks ago, but Steve was still babying him. Carrying him to the shower, not letting Bucky bathe himself, or brush his own teeth. He couldn't dress or eat without help, go anywhere without asking. "I just want to keep you safe. I need to know that you're not going to get hurt." Steve's words remained calm, level, but his face betrayed the threat behind them. If you don't listen, you won't be able to leave at all. 

Bucky'd learned the hard way that if he didn't listen to Steve, he wouldn't have a choice. He'd attempted to leave their floor by himself while Steve was out on a mission with Tony, Nat, and Thor - he got up early, showered, got dressed. His first taste of freedom in a long time, he was so excited to go see everyone again. 

He was downstairs and halfway through breakfast with Bruce and Peter when Steve got back. 

+//////+

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the sun. It's a familiar feeling to him, one he thought he'd never deal with again. The isolation. The lack of control. The fear. 

Steve initially hadn't looked mad. He let Bucky finish his meal, kept a distant but watchful eye over the group until the two others finished and moved on to their lab work downstairs. 

Bucky knew he was fucked. He'd broken rules. He'd left their room without permission. Steve might not have looked it, but Bucky could feel the anger and disappointment radiating off him. 

After that... He wasn't allowed to do anything. 

No workouts, no missions, no patrols. No leaving their room. Steve'd used the restraints Tony made - had him thoroughly tied down to the floor below their bed. No internet, no phone. Not a single book or movie or boardgame in sight. Good boys don't require entertainment to behave. No eating - Steve'd placed a gastric tube down his sinus to provide nutrition. His muzzle, the one hydra'd used... Steve'd locked it over his jaw, and left it there. Good boys don't need to use their mouths - not to drink, not to eat. Not to talk back or call for help.  No using the bathroom on his own - he had a catheter replaced once a day, and Steve changed his bag as needed. Good boys don't get to leave the bed, not even if it's an emergency. 

He learned to wait for Steve. Learned his schedule - early morning meetings with Wakanda, check ins with Fury and Maria, patrol a bit after lunch. Then, he'd come back, make sure Bucky's bag was empty and his feeding tube was flushed and clean before feeding him. 

Steve allowed him to use the bathroom and shower at night, under incredibly watchful eyes. The restraints Tony'd made were long enough to stretch the entire perimeter of their room, but Steve kept him on a short leash. Bucky had five minutes total - shit, shower, shave. If he didn't finish in time... There's always tomorrow. 

If he did, he'd get rewarded. 

Steve'd wrap him up in a large fluffy towel, carry him to bed. He'd bring back the sweet little reminders, with his hand around Bucky's throat. How much Steve loved him. How this was all for his protection. How Steve wasn't going to let anything happen to him, ever again. How proud Steve was of him, for letting him return that favor, even decades later. How well behaved Bucky was, how good he'd been for Steve.

Steve was so different from Hydra, too. That's what made it so fucking difficult to resist the love bomb-type conditioning. He wasn't the torture type - didn't like the idea of doing anything he didn't have to. Steve didn't want to hurt him, and Bucky knew that. He found it harder to reject Steve's advances the longer he was locked in that fucking room, found it harder to discern whether or not he... wanted... to reject it.  

He was Bucky's dialysis, and his drinking problem. 

He was Bucky's oxygen machine, and the cigarettes he'd smoked to earn him one. 

Steve could ask Bucky to do anything, ask him for anything... and he was powerless to say no. He'd tried. 

+//////+

It'd gotten him a flick to the mouth, for his hesitation. 

"When I ask you a question, love, you need to answer me. Do you understand?" The tears in his eyes nearly spilled over, sharp pain from his lips radiating into his nose and the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to answer. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run, to get the fuck away from Steve and the compound and everything. 

"Yes."

"Yes what, angel?" Steve might've been good about keeping his emotions checked in public, but Bucky could tell he was smug. Gloating. He enjoyed this. What'd happened to the sweet kid from Brooklyn that could barely hold himself upright? Bucky missed him. 

"Yes, Stevie. I’m sorry Stevie." Saying his name was painful. This wasn't his Steve. This wasn't the Steve he'd fallen in love with. Wasn't even the man that'd dragged him out from underneath that alien... How long ago? Months? Years? 

Bucky didn't know anymore. 

Didn't know why his friends hadn't saved him yet. Didn't know how his absence went unnoticed for... however long it'd been. Didn't know why he was struggling to be upset about it all. 

Steve, observant as he was, could practically see the gears turning in the other's head. He cradled Bucky's face in his hands, drawing him into calculated eye contact. Bucky felt sick. There was something... wrong, there. Something Bucky'd never seen before. 

"They don't love you like I do, Buck. They don't want you. They don't love you." 

Bucky flinched at the words, physically recoiling from Steve's grasp. He knew it wasn't true, he knew... He thought it wasn't, right? 

Steve's laugh pulled Bucky out of his own thoughts, bringing him back to the room in front of him. He had a display up, with various recordings of the rest of the Avengers. He flipped through them, muting and unmuting seemingly at random. 

"... I mean, he's probably ditched us for Zemo again. Would that really shock you?"

"he almost died again. I don't blame him, i wouldn't want to be found eith-"

"-e can take care of himself, let's just give him time."

Steve waved the holo display away when he saw the first few tears fall. "Don't you see, Baby? They don't care like I do - they don't love you like I love you. No one will ever love you like I love you." Steve's words stung, but Bucky couldn't deny that they made sense. Of course no one was looking for him. He was unpredictable, still kind of an outsider. Why would they try to come find him? Why would they care?

Bucky's mouth moved before his brain could stop him.

"'m sorry, Stevie, please, I'm so sorry! I-I- I thought they cared, please, please don't leave me Stevie! I was so wrong, Steve please! Wish I knew how to stop, Stevie, but you know I can't. You gotta help me stop Stevie, I've been so confused, been tryin' to quit you Stevie but I can't. Wish I could quit you but I can't, I can’t be left alone anymore. Please, you can take my arm if you want it, Stevie. Take anything, take whatever you want from just please, please don’t leave me alone anymore!"

He was in hysterics at this point, unable to believe what was coming out of him. Was he really okay with Steve taking his arm away? Did he really love this Steve back? Was he just scared?

The worst part was that he couldn't tell. 

+//////+

The smell of fresh coffee woke him before he was ready. His eyes burned, still dry after Steve refused to close the window before they went to bed. 

Bucky would have closed it himself, but he couldn't actually reach that far. 

They'd moved out to the cabin a few months after Bucky finally broke realized how wrong he was. It was a cute little place, big enough for the two of them but small enough to not draw attention if someone came upon it by accident. Not that they really could. Steve'd installed motion sensors five miles out, and had fully automated... solutions, in place, should any threats or issues arise. 

They went entirely unused. 

It really was a beautiful plot of land - they had a few animals, a cute pair of kittens to dote on and play with. He had enough room to move around, to sit in the sun or curl up in bed. He had plenty of books, games, anything and everything he could want to occupy his time, really. He had Steve. 

And breakfast now, apparently. 

Steve set the plate on the bedside table, gently sitting next to his lover and planting small kisses on his still shut eyelids. Bucky looked up and smiled, blushing at the hand that'd wrapped around his neck. He reached out, gently thumbing at the inside of Steve's wrist. Oh, how he'd missed this. Missed contact with his Steve. 

He opened his mouth, accepting the bite Steve offered him. Steve always made the best pancakes, he thought, appreciating the hot meal hitting his tongue. He hadn't eaten this good in weeks. It was hard for him to cook without his arm, but Steve always provided. Steve cooked for them, cleaned up after them, made sure Bucky was sated. Safe. 

He'd taken off for a mission nearly a month ago. A dangerous one, he'd said. One he might not return from for a while, he'd said. Bucky worried. He always did when Steve left, especially since he couldn't know where or why he was going. But Steve always came back to him. Sometimes, he was back in one piece. Once, he'd come home with an arrow in his stomach and several gunshot wounds. That'd been a... scary night. Another time, he came home with half of his hair singed off and his clothes in tatters. 

Last night... Last night he finally came home, and he looked like shit. 

He was covered in bruises, nearly 40 pounds lighter than he was when he'd left. There were holes in the shield, too large to be bullets but too small to be anything else easily recognizable. Some were through his suit, too - puncture wounds littering his chest and stomach. They were already partially closed, but he was still bloody. 

There were still webs in his hair, too - Bucky brushed them away after Steve closed (and locked. always locked.) the door. He knew better than to comment. Steve was just protecting him. Steve loved him, he was doing what he needed to keep Bucky safe. 

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. That each time Steve left for a mission, Bucky cried himself to sleep. He thought, eventually, that the pain would go away. That the death of each of his friends would get easier, somehow. That the fear, the hope, of losing Steve would stop consuming him. 

He'd just smiled, kissed his husband's cheek, and helped him strip down. He'd mouthed at the graze left on the side of Steve's neck, reverent in the presence that was his protector. Bucky'd developed quite the complex, in their time of isolation. Every time Steve came in - from cutting firewood, picking food from the garden, feeding the animals, or from nights like last... Bucky just couldn't stop talking. 

About how he wouldn't be alive without Steve. How he'd still be a mindless slave for Hydra, killing innocent people under everyone's noses. How he owed Steve his life, a thousand times over. How he'd've been taken by Ross or Stark or Clint or someone, and locked away miles under the sea. He'd pressed them into Steve's jaw like kiss-coated secrets, like no one in the entire world knew these things but Bucky & Steve. Like they were bits of information to cherish, to chew on and savour before swallowing. 

Steve just laughed, picking Bucky up and bringing him to bed. He followed shortly after, cleaning and patching himself up before snuggling right up to Bucky. 

Sleeping was interesting, initially, but they'd adapted. It was easier to cuddle Bucky without his arm, but sometimes Steve woke up with his legs tangled in loose chains by the footboard. It was an easy enough trade, in Bucky's opinion. Give up his arm, give up a bit of freedom, and get a loving, devoted husband in return? One that would make him breakfast in bed, one that would hold him and kiss him and praise him whenever he needed? One that would kill for him? Die for him?

Bucky saw it as a fair enough trade, and if that meant their friends needed to die... He tried not to think about it.

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Seven: Stolen Moments

Series Masterlist

Plot: Good, bad, lighthearted, heavy. Laughter, tears, passion and fear. Battles are only a part of the war, but the lives of the people who fight are where the true stories lie. 

Warnings: language, night terrors, anxiety, fluff, angst, suggestive activity, we do it all in this chapter...

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Here lies a collection of oneshots of our favorite pieces of rebel scum. Savor it because this is the last piece of lighthearted content you’ll be getting for a while...We’ve got one last chapter before we head into TROS...Enjoy! (Apologies to scrollers, I posted this from my mobile!)

————

“Black Leader to base.” “Base to Black Leader,” I said into my headset, “This is Commander Solo.” “Commander Solo? What are you doing on comms?” “Hello to you too,” I laughed softly, “I’m filling in.” It was the middle of the night, the only time where the base was fairly quiet. There were always people on duty but for the most part, there was rare silence in our corner of the jungle. The comms officer assigned to Poe for his mission had fallen ill so I immediately volunteered to take over. It wasn’t a difficult task, I never slept well when Poe was away anyways so at least I was being productive. 

“Are we alone, Commander?” 

“Yes, so stop calling me Commander,” I ordered, shifting in my uncomfortable seat, “You’re the one that likes that.” Poe chortled slightly, “I’ve never heard you complaining about it or anything that follows…” I was glad no one was around to see just how quickly my boyfriend could make me blush. The only reason I wasn’t indulging him was purely because of how tired I was. “It’s far too late for that kind of talk, Black Leader.” “Why’d you volunteer to take over? You sound exhausted.” I shrugged as I leaned back further in my chair, “I don’t sleep well when you’re gone.” “Still…” Poe trailed off, a loud yawn crackled through the headset, “Go to bed now, I’m gonna be landing in the next few minutes. Highly doubtful I’ll run into any trouble.” “I’m not ending this comm until I see your X-Wing on the ground,” I stated in a tone that left no room for argument, “If I left, it would end up being the time that Hugs and his armada of star destroyers would be waiting for you to come out of hyperspace and blow you out of the system.” “...Have you like thought this through or something? You came up with that scenario a little too fast…” I snickered to myself, “Just fly faster so I can stop missing you.” “You want me to fly faster than lightspeed?” “If anyone can do it, it’s you…”I smiled, fiddling with the cord of the headset that ran to the computer. “That sounds like an admission that I’m a better pilot than you are…”

“Where did you hear those words, Dameron? Cause I sure as hell didn’t saying them.” “Oh, you said enough,” Poe chuckled, “And you’re right on both counts.” I smiled lazily, “That’s right…” I hadn’t registered that my eyelids were beginning to shut, shaking myself awake I returned to the conversation, “Wait, what was my other count?” “I would break every principle of flying just to get home to you quicker.” A second blush heated my face as I let the sentiment seep into my veins. “You’re a charmer, Black Leader. Whoever your girlfriend is, she’s a lucky lady.”

“Trust me, I’m the one who’s lucky. She puts up with way too much shit from me.” “Something tells me that you’re worth it,” I said softly, unable to keep the lovestruck grin from my face.

I heard the distant sound of a ship and caught the long-awaited sight of Poe’s X-Wing coming onto the scanner. My body relaxed as I could finally sense Poe’s presence again. He was home.

“Permission to land, Solo?” 

“Granted,” I lazily smiled, “Welcome home, Dameron.”

————

It was a stupid fight that we shouldn’t have been having. 

Date nights were hard to come by, especially for people like us who were working constantly. But by some miracle, Poe and I had found a block of time one evening to have dinner together for longer than ten minutes. I’d set it up in our room, dimming the lights and arranging the table till it met my approval. I’d even changed out of my work clothes to the one pair of fatigues I owned. Everything was going to be perfect.

Till Poe didn’t show up.

I sat at the table with tears of anger pooling in my eyes, my gaze flicking between the door and the ever-changing clock. Just as my anger couldn’t possibly grow any further, the door slid open and in came Poe. Sweaty, stained with oil and curls completely out of place. Some of the new recruits had asked Poe to give them a few tips on their flying techniques and he’d gotten caught up in it. What started as discussion had climbed to practice dogfights above base.

Soft spoken anger quickly turned to raised voices until we were yelling at one another.

I accused him of caring more about the Resistance than about me.

He accused me of not placing enough importance on the war.

He could’ve reached me over the comms to tell me.

I could’ve not overreacted over missing one dinner.

I stormed out of the room.

He didn’t follow.

That was how I’d ended up on the Falcon. I didn’t want to shed tears in front of Poe, so I’d saved them for the privacy of my ship. I was all cried out as I sat silently in the captain’s chair, absentmindedly flipping a switch on the control board on and off. Poe and I didn’t fight often, not like this at least. So on the occasions it did happen, it wrecked both of us until someone conceded because they simply couldn’t take the separation any longer. I knew I’d been a little dramatic in my accusations, but I’d looked forward to the night for days. But that was only a piece of what was bothering me about the whole thing. I had operated purely from anger, the thing I’d been striving so hard to purge from me. It was reopening every fear I had about myself and my powers. I felt the resentment towards Poe swirling inside of me and there was a part of me that wanted to let it fester. It was eating me alive that despite all the training I was going through, I still didn’t have a handle on my emotions. 

“Hey…” I turned around at the voice to see a sleep deprived Poe standing a cautious distance away from me. His hair was in further disarray, his eyes wearing dark bags from lack of rest and his gaze focused on the ground. I didn’t want to speak first, I was too afraid of what might fly out of my mouth. He hesitantly looked up at me and met my eyes, even after a fight he still looked at me with a softness in his stare. Unable to stay on the receiving end any longer without feeling worse, I turned back around in my seat. His footsteps moved closer until he came to sit next to me in the co-pilot’s chair. We sat in silence for a moment, readjusting to one another’s presence before voicing our thoughts.

Poe was the first one to speak, “I’m sorry, I was an asshole.” “No more so than me,” I said, still unable to look at him without feeling a thrum of anxiety run through my body.

“You were justified in your anger-“ Poe leaned forward and reached his hand out toward my knee.

“No,” I jerked my body away from his loving touch, “Poe, I’m not. I mean, yes, I’m mad at you but I didn’t even hear you out. The only reason you got your explanation in is because I ran out of breath berating you. Yes, I’m right to be upset but not to this extent…” Poe sighed and hung his head down, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He didn’t see me like this often, but the times he did hurt him almost as much as they hurt me.

“Y/n,” he said softly, “That was a pretty standard fight. I missed a date, you yelled and now we’re talking it through. Your reaction’s no different than anyone else’s.” “That’s the point,” I leaned on my knees and pinched the bridge of my nose, “I’m not supposed to be like everyone else. I’m a Jedi, I’m supposed to have a better grip on my emotions and not fly off the handle every time we have a fight.” “Y/n, Jedis are human too,” Poe challenged with a hint of a smile, “You don’t have to be as perfect as you think you need to be.” I rubbed my hands over my face nervously and scooted forward in my chair. Poe’s hands were already waiting to take hold of mine, the rough calloused tips of his fingers from years of flying stroking over my palms gently. 

“I know you know you messed up, and I’m sorry for trying to make you feel worse about it,” I said quietly, sliding one of my hands up to hold the back of his neck, “I don’t think my expectations were realistic for what a relationship looks like in the middle of a war.” “I think we both are finding that out,” Poe agreed, stroking my knee with his free hand, “Sometimes I catch myself acting like I’m still single. I schedule my day without leaving any room for time with you and like tonight, I majorly screwed up.” Our lives were changing along with the war and we needed to find our middle ground. It required constant adjustment and work, but it was worth it. And we’d been through too much to let our relationship suffer at the hands of our own carelessness.

“So we try harder,” I suggested, running my fingers through a few runaway curls, “And we try to have a little more understanding towards one another. Our priority is each other but this fight,” I turned my gaze to the cockpit window, “It’s going to have to come before what we want sometimes.” I turned back to Poe who was watching me with a soft intensity that only he could possess. The hand I had on his neck pulled him down to lean our foreheads against one another. His warm palms slid up my legs to my sides, holding them loosly. We leaned into one another’s lips at the same time, moving together slowly and softly to make up for the harsh words spoken earlier in the evening. Even after we pulled away, Poe pressed several featherlight kisses to the corners of my lips. “I love you more than anything else,” Poe whispered, his hot breath hovering over my lips, “You know that right?” “I do,” I replied quietly, in no need to disturb the tender quiet we’d found, “And I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

————

There was an unofficial day in the Resistance that had been going for quite a few years.

Prank Day.

One day where we played harmless practical jokes on one another. As long as it didn’t endanger anyone’s safety or get in the way of doing our jobs, anything was fair game. The higher ranking officers, including Mom, knew about it and had never made any effort to put a stop to it. Privately, Mom actually enjoyed seeing what people pulled off.

“Finn, I’m his girlfriend, I don’t know if I can go along with this,” I told my friend as we carried recently delivered cargo through base.

“Y/n, c’mon, you’re the only one who has access to the room,” Finn urged, “You don’t even have to do it, just conveniently leave your door open and if I happen to wander in…” My friend was trying his hardest to get me involved in whatever prank he had planned for Poe. He hadn’t even told me what it was, only that it was too good to not be a part of.

“If I say I’ll consider it, will you leave it alone?” I asked.

“Yes,” Finn adjusted the crate to carry it with one hand, pointing his finger at me, “But only if you actually consider it. I swear, you’ll love it…”

I didn’t actually consider it, Prank Day was the furthest thing from my mind. Between training and my duties as a commander, I had enough on my plate.

Until I woke up on said day unable to find my lightsaber. 

Poe had left our room before I’d started my day so my only option was to comm him. It wasn’t until my fifth attempt at reaching him on the comms that he answered…

“Maybe you left it hanging around outside…” His cryptic answer resulted in me standing underneath Tantive IV craning my neck to stare at my lightsaber taped to the underside of the ship. How he had gotten it up there, I didn’t know and didn’t care. All I knew was payback was well and truly deserved.

“I’m in,” I plopped down next to Finn as he sat eating lunch in Rey’s corner of base, “What do you need from me?” Finn pumped his fist before filling me in on the details of the prank. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Rey asked, she’d had her head buried in one of the Jedi texts and had only heard a few words of Finn’s plan. Once he had explained it to both of us, she was practically snorting with laughter. “Oh, please let me witness this.” “I’ve got a little something extra to add to it, but I’m gonna need your help, Finn...” I said with a sly grin.

Later that day, I was sitting in my and Poe’s quarters awaiting his return. He waltzed through the door casually, a hint of smugness in his smile. 

“How’s your day been?” he asked innocently.

“Nothing new to report,” I shrugged, “Still haven’t found my lightsaber though.” “I’m sure it’ll turn up,” he responded plainly, leaning down to kiss the top of my head, “I’m gonna shower then we can grab dinner. Finn and I were working on something earlier and he got some oil in my hair.” “Well, we all know how protective you are of your hair…” I sighed, earning myself a chuckle before he headed into the refresher.

As soon as I heard the sound of water, I bolted for the door. As I ran down the hall, I raised the comlink I’d been hiding in my hand. “He just got in,” I reported. “Copy that,” Finn replied, “On our way.”

I hurried toward the exit of the ship just as Finn and Rey sped in the opposite direction.

“Hurry,” Rey urged as we passed one another. “On it.” I bounded for the spot where Poe had taped my lightsaber, standing directly under it. It didn’t take much effort as I extended my hand and broke the “foolproof” seal, the weapon flying into my palm. As I sprinted back into the ship, I peeled off the tape until it was restored to its proper state. I made it back to the room with Finn and Rey already standing outside. I punched in the code quickly and the door flew open. 

“He should be almost done,” I breathed, listening to the sounds of the sanisteamer still going.

After a moment, the noise stopped and was replaced with Poe humming some song to himself. The three of us waited with bated breath for the explosive reaction that was surely to come.

“What the hell?!” 

We tried to stifle our giggles to no avail knowing what Poe was seeing right now. He flew out the door calling my name with a towel wrapped around his waist, only to be met by Finn, Rey and I laughing hysterically.

Poe’s hair was bright blue. 

“Did you three do this?” he cried, still clutching the shampoo bottle in a hand and pointing to his head with the other. Our shrieks of laughter and nods were the only answer he received. 

“I have a late meeting tonight and I have to go looking like this?” Poe asked, pulling on his damp curls to amplify his point. “I’ve always thought you looked good in blue,” I said as I tried to catch my breath, still clutching my stomach.

“You’ve always had the best hair in the Resistance, Poe,” Finn replied, gesturing to the blue mop in question, “Now you can wear that title with extra pride.” “I’m serious, guys,” Poe said frustratedly, “This comes out, right?” “Yes, it comes out,” I answered with another small laugh, “I’d help you wash it out but,” I held up my lightsaber casually, “I really need to get some practice time in.” Poe gave a sigh of defeat and took a step towards us, “Okay, that’s fair. It’s pretty good actually. How’d you pull it off?”

Finn took the reins, “I snuck Y/n the dye and she-“

We were interrupted by Poe squirting the remains of the blue shampoo on our heads. Finn, Rey and I shot down the hall and out of his range as he chased the three of us down the thankfully empty hall.

————

Supply closets, as I quickly found out, were not built for two people. 

Poe had been away on a weeklong mission and had just returned. Making it back to our room to welcome him home properly wasn’t going to happen so he’d pulled me into the nearest room. Our lips were currently battling for dominance as our hands found purchase in the others clothing.

“I missed you,” Poe mumbled against my mouth.

“I missed you too,” I whispered in between kisses, “I hate when you’re gone this long.” “Yeah, but you gotta admit,” Poe breathed as he trailed his kisses across my face till he hit my jaw, “It makes our reunions all that sweeter.” My breathy laugh turned to a soft groan as his lips travelled down to my neck. My hands moved frantically against his flight suit, internally cursing whoever had made them so damn complicated to get off. All actions ceased as Poe began to suck a mark onto the delicate patch of skin, I threw one arm around his shoulders and reached a hand up to grip his hair. With each ministration of his mouth, a gentle moan escaped my lips that would encourage him to keep going.

“I’m gonna be wearing high collared shirts in a jungle for days thanks to you,” I breathed, still holding his head to the juncture between my neck and shoulder. “You want me to stop?” Poe teased against my skin, his voice low and husky. His hands had found their way under my shirt and were rubbing circles against my hips. 

My hum of pleasure was all the invitation he needed to dive back in, pressing me back into the wall and aggressively attacking the skin again. I wrapped a leg around his back to push him further against me, needing to feel him as close as possible. I reached down blindly and found the zipper to his flight suit, tugging it down forcefully and slipping it off his shoulders.

Suddenly, the dark room flooded with light. Poe and I broke from each other to see a maintenance worker standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Uh, sorry, Commanders…” he sputtered, “I-I just came to get something but, uh, I’ll come back later.” Before I could protest and come up with an excuse for our suggestive position, he’d quickly shut the door in embarrassment. I threw my head back against the wall and groaned while Poe snickered to himself.

“You do realize the entire base is going to hear about this right?” I asked, unable to see him clearly in the darkness but picturing his smug smile. 

“So?” Poe said, I felt him shrug his shoulders, “Every couple’s snuck off like this, trust me.”

Just as I began to push him off me, he tightened his grip on my waist and eased me back against the wall. One of his hands left my body and I heard a click of the door’s lock before the pressure returned. I felt his hot breath against my collarbone, pulling me back down into his orbit and surrendering to the sensation. “Gotta finish what we started, sweetheart…”

————

Mine and Poe’s schedules exhausted us enough that sleep almost always came easy to us. But sound slumber was a gift neither of us typically received.

I woke up to the sound of distressed moans and the absence of Poe’s arms wrapped around me. Sitting up and blinking my eyes in the darkness, I caught the silhouette of Poe from the soft light we kept turned on. He was rolled over onto his side, clutching the blankets in his fists and whimpering.

“Poe,” I whispered, shifting to kneel beside him and gently gripping his shoulder, “Baby, wake up.” “Mmphf,” he moaned, “No, no, get out.” “Poe, wake up,” I raised my voice slightly, “You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”

“No, get-get out of my head,” he breathed, his voice saturated with desperation, “Don’t hurt her.” I knew exactly what nightmare he was having.

“Baby, I’m okay,” I urged, shaking his shoulder with both hands, “Wake up.” His eyes flew open and he shot up in bed with a cry, I could make out the single tear trail down his cheek. Unfortunately, this was nothing new to me. Much like myself, Poe suffered from the same horrible dream night after night. 

“Poe, you’re okay,” I said soothingly, running my hands down his arm, “It was a nightmare.” His chest rose and fell as he fought to catch his breath, he ran a hand over his face and sniffled. He turned to me and gripped both my wrists gently, looking me over to make sure I was real. “I’m okay,” I assured, turning my hand over to lace my fingers with his.

He breathlessly nodded, his eyes frantically searching my face for reassurance. “He was in my head, Y/n, he went in and the first thing he saw was you.” “I know, I know,” I hummed, pushing myself into his lap where he usually needed me on the bad nights, “But he didn’t get me. I’m here, he can’t hurt either of us.” As Poe’s racing thoughts slowed down and he processed what I was saying, he surged forward and collected me in his arms. His grip was tighter on nights like this, in his nightmare he faced the reality of some horrible fate befalling me. He needed more than my verbal reassurance, he needed to feel me to quell the lingering panic. Whether he needed to be held, to be kissed or to lose himself in me, I gave him whatever would return him to me fully. This particular night, all he needed was to be close. We fell asleep with Poe’s head resting on my chest as I soothingly ran my fingers through his curls.

The next night wasn’t any easier.

The thickness of the smoke had decreased since the last time I’d visited the familiar nightmare. Things were becoming clearer, metaphorically and literally.

I stood amidst the flames, finally able to make out where I was. After so many years, I should have been able to recognize the location. Perhaps I’d been in denial…

It was my uncle’s former training temple.

The wound I continuously tried so hard to close threatened to open up again. For once in the years of being plagued by the dream, I kept calm. Even at the sight of the location where through the cruelest circumstances, I’d been set on my path to become a Jedi, I held firm to my peace.

“Y/n,” a familiar voice called, I turned around to see a face I’d never seen before. Not in this form at least…

Obi-Wan.

He’d been the figure clothed in brown all these years.

He was so much younger, his white head of hair and beard a sandy shade of brown. His tan robes shorter than that ones I’d seen him in, but his dark brown cloak the exact same. Just like the soft expression on his face as our eyes met. 

He’d been calling out to me this whole time.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said, “You’re stronger than you know.” “Of what?” I asked as I walked with urgency towards him, “You’ve been saying that to me for years now and I still don’t know what it’s meant.” My grandfather’s gaze was no longer on me, but something behind me. I didn’t need to look to know exactly who stood firmly planted in my subconscious state, just as he did in my conscious.

“Don’t be afraid,” Ren said, his voice cool and balanced, so unlike him in reality. He spoke with a knowledgable authority that send a chill down my spine. “There’s more darkness in you than you know, just think of what you can do with it.” I was prepared to verbally strike him down and wield my Jedi status over him. I was ready to tell him he’d lost, till I turned to see bodies strewn across the ground. Soldiers. Resistance soldiers. Pilots. Maintenance workers. Strategists. Seemingly everyone that made up our band of rebels was strewn on the ground motionless. Worse…Taking one look at their wounds told me they had not died by blaster, but by lightsaber.

My hands trembled as they flew to cover my mouth, tears trailing down my cheeks as if they’d been waiting to fall. I was overcome. “Y/n,” my grandfather came to stand next to me, “Don’t listen to him. You know who you are.” Any other time I’d have listened to him. But at the sight of my comrades dead, I couldn’t be reasoned with. I fell to my knees with a shriek of horror, ignoring as Obi-Wan dropped alongside me and placed his hands on my shoulders. It didn’t matter how far I ran or how hard I tried, the fear I’d fought my entire life would always find me…

“Y/n, wake up. Sweetheart, you’re dreaming!” I startled awake with the same wet cheeks and thin layer of sweat across my brow that I’d gained in the nightmare. My chest heaved as I struggled to regain a normal breathing pattern. I turned onto my back and fell against Poe’s arm, he was caging me in and staring down at me. “You’re okay, it was just a dream,” he whispered, one of his hands coming to stroke a strand of hair out of my face.

I scrunched my eyes shut and nodded, trying to erase the image of so many good people dead at my hand. It wasn’t reality, I knew that, but it didn’t change the simple fact that my fear was. There was no escaping my mind.

“What do you need?” Poe asked softly.

“You.”

I gripped his biceps and pulled him down on top of me, our lips melting together blissfully. As hard as Poe would try if I asked, he couldn’t fix me. He couldn’t erase my anxieties, couldn’t go back in time and change my journey to where I’d ended up. But just him being there, willing to try and see me through the bad nights was enough. It was so much more than enough.

————

Cantina trips had always been something to look forward to. Shots and cocktails would flow freely and bring an immense amount of regret the next day, but we’d still repeat the cycle the next time around.

We never went in with the fear of possible death or capture.

Rey, Finn, Poe and I had been dispatched to Coruscant to a high end bar. We were supposed to meet an informant who had information on the First Order’s most recent weapon dealings. It was too good a chance to pass up, assuming he was even telling the truth. 

“I feel ridiculous in this get-up,” Rey’s voice whispered in my ear through the hidden comms device.

“Be thankful you have pants at least,” I chuckled softly as I sipped my drink, sneaking a peek across the room at her table. She was dressed in the tightest leather pants I’d ever seen and a long sleeved top with a plunging neckline. A stark contrast from her usual beige and white Jedi robes. I had been sewn into a strapless dress that only covered what it absolutely had to, including my lightsaber. “But we’re all in agreement that I look great, right?” Poe chimed in, he was seated at the opposite end of the bar. He’d exchanged his worn leather jacket for a sleek new neon colored one, a sheer shirt and pants just as tight as Rey’s. We weren’t supposed to be acknowledging each other’s presence but I’d snuck a few quick glances at his ass. 

“How’d you fit that ego through the door, Dameron?” Finn asked, he was nursing an ale near the entrance to the bar. His stylish jumpsuit, even with a few buttons undone, was the least revealing outfit out of the four of us. 

“Just fine, thanks for the concern, buddy,” Poe replied dryly before clearing his throat, “We know what this guy looks like?” “Nope,” I said with my lips to my glass, “All we know is that he’ll be carrying a cane. Not a very common feature so he shouldn’t be hard to spot.”

“Excuse me?” a voice from behind me spoke up, I turned to see a groomed gentleman gesturing to the stool next to me, “Is this seat taken?” I scanned him quickly, no cane. “I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for someone.” 

“A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be kept waiting,” the man said as he defiantly took the seat, “I pity whoever decided they had better things to do than have a drink with you.” I had to stop from laughing at the lines he was using, coming from the right guy would’ve made them sound smooth. But this one just came off sounding like a cocky asshole and not the kind that I had a penchant for. “Do I need to come over and kick that guy’s ass?” Poe’s voice rang in my earpiece. 

“Trust me,” I smiled politely at the man, “Your pity would be better spent elsewhere.” He nodded and smirked, his eyes drinking in my exposed body so intensely that I started to squirm. My senses were telling me that he was bad news. “I haven’t seen you around here, what brings you to Coruscant?” “Business,” I replied evenly, trying to figure out how to get him to leave.

“Let me guess,” the guy rubbed his chin before snapping his fingers, “You’re a model.” “Something like that,” I said with a small smile that he wouldn’t understand, “My face is all over the galaxy.” “What a lucky galaxy,” he responded, I had to physically stop my face from scrunching into a cringe.

“What a charmer,” I chuckled before taking a final sip of my drink, “It’s been lovely chatting with you but I really am waiting on a friend.” The man held his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I understand. But you can’t blame a guy for taking a shot. Hope you have a fun night.” He stuck his hand out as he rose to his feet, I foolishly took it and shook it. As soon as we touched, he whipped out a blaster and pressed the barrel of it to my neck. 

“Lovely to make your acquaintance, Miss Solo,” he smirked.

Other patrons were shrieking at the scene that had been started. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to get any better where we were concerned…

“Let her go!” Poe ordered, he’d made his way from across the bar in a flash and had his blaster aimed in record time.

“Guys, we’ve got stormtroopers headed our way,” Finn announced in our earpieces, “This is about to get ugly.” “Y/n has been made,” Rey reported, “It’s about to get uglier than you think.” “This is your lucky day, Miss Solo,” my wannabe assassin said cooly, “The Supreme Leader has been looking for you. He’ll be so happy to hear that we’ve found you.”

“Do me a favor and give him a message,” I smiled, my eyes flicking to Finn and Rey whose hands were ghosting over their hidden weapons. Poe gave me a nod to signal they were ready. “He’s going to have to try harder than this.” Poe used the butt of his blaster to hit the guy’s head, instantly knocking him out as he dropped to the ground. I unholstered my lightsaber from under my dress just as stormtroopers flooded through the bar’s doors. Rey launched herself off of her table and activated her saber while Finn was already shooting troopers down. Screams erupted from all around us and the innocent bystanders were taking cover underneath tables and behind the bar. Poe and Finn joined them in seeking cover but never stopped firing shots. Rey and I deflected the trooper’s attempts to take us down, some of their shots bouncing off our lightsabers and hitting them.

“Ready?” I raised my voice so she could hear me over the gunfire.

“Ready,” she replied, making her way to stand at my side. 

We extended our hands at the same time and used our combined power to send the group of troops tumbling through the doorway and crashing through the glass windows.

“Everybody out,” Poe shouted, sliding back out from behind the bar with Finn. The customers listened and began flooding out both the back door of the building. The remaining stormtroopers were scrambling back to their feet to search for us, but we blended into the crowd easily. We pushed our way out into the chilly night air with the fearful people who were regretting their decision to go for a drink.

“That went well,” Rey breathed as we ran through the alleyway behind the bar. “Either the contact was lying the whole time or they got word of the meeting and killed him,” Poe theorized as we navigated our path with only the neon lighting of the building fronts as our guide.

“Chewie, get the ship ready to go,” I said into the comlink, receiving an agreeable roar in response. Luckily the bar was located on the edge of the main part of the city. The Falcon was too easily recognized to land in a hanger so Chewie had it parked on the outskirts of the city, anxiously awaiting our return.

As the Falcon came into sight, blaster fire flew past us. I spared a glance behind us to see a few stray stormtroopers chasing after us. Finn, who was an exceptional shot, took care of as many as he could and succeeded in protecting our group as we hurried aboard the ship.

“Finn and Rey on guns,” I directed as we sprinted down the hallway, “Chewie, I need you to keep an eye on the hyperdrive. It gave us trouble getting here. Poe, with me.” Poe and I dashed to the cockpit and settled into our seats, I gave him credit for not taking the pilot’s seat. He knew it was my ship thus, I was calling the shots. “How you feeling about this?” he asked as I lifted the ship off the ground and flew us above the city. He already knew what trouble we were going to be flying into.

“Considering the hyperdrive is on the fritz meaning lightspeed is a question mark and we’re almost definitely going to have First Order ships waiting for us,” I said, giving him a quick smile, “Never better.” I didn’t have time to see the smirk I know I’d earned as I maneuvered us out of the atmosphere where surprise surprise, there was a small fleet of TIE Fighter’s awaiting us. 

“We’ve got company,” I reported into my headset, “I’m going in.” Poe adjusted the necessary controls as I flew headfirst into the center of the group of ships. They started firing, shaking the ship every few seconds when they actually managed to make a hit. There were six TIE’s that I now had following me in a neat line.

“If you swing around,” Rey said over the headset, “Finn and I can handle it from there.” “You read my mind,” I replied, hanging a sharp left so us and the line of ships were parallel. I watched as Finn and Rey perfectly executed the idea and took out four of the six. 

“Chewie, how we looking?” Poe shouted to the back of the ship, a barrage of muffled wookie roars coming in reply, “I have no idea what he just said. “Not my fault you haven’t learned Wookie yet,” I said as I dodged what would’ve been a critical shot if I’d been a second late, “He said he thinks he’s almost done.” “Think?” The remaining two TIE’s had managed to get in front of us and were flying straight towards us. Instinct, and a bit of the signature Solo recklessness, took over my body and I flew faster toward them before turning the ship on its side.

“Guys, I’m gonna set you guys up,” I called to Finn and Rey first, “Chewie, you better hope that hyperdrive works. Poe, get ready to take us to lightspeed.” “When do you want me to do that?”

“You’ll know when,” I said before slipping between the two ships. Quick as I could, I turned the Falcon upside down and dove straight down. As the fighters turned and made the mistake of flying parallel to one another, I timed it perfectly and pulled back up while underneath them. Like we were functioning as one body, Finn and Rey took their shots and blew up the ships simultaneously seconds before Poe took his cue to successfully send us to lightspeed.

As soon as I’d set our course for Ajan Kloss, Poe and I sunk back into our seats. “Will you do something for me?” “Anything,” Poe replied, brushing his fingers against my hand.

“Will you admit that I could give you a run for your money at the title of ‘Best Pilot?” 

Poe retracted his hand immediately and stood up, “Except that.”

I laughed out loud as he retreated from the cockpit, “I just saved your ass, Dameron.” “Thank you,” he called from the hallways, I snickered as I got up to follow him.

————

Days after the failed mission, I was settled in mine and Poe’s room buried in my data pad. It had been raining all day so Rey and I were excused from training which gave me a chance to catch up on my clerical work. Everything was as normal as normal could be. 

I crossed the room to retrieve something. 

I stopped in my tracks.

Someone was there, but not in the room.

In my mind.

Y/n.

The data pad fell from my hands, the glass screen shattering around my feet.

Ren.

————

A/N: Did you honestly think I was going to let this end on a happy note? 😂 We got angst for days coming up... Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you’d like to be tagged! ✨

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[yehet-about-it]

I Like Me Better | 10 - An Evening Interrupted

~ A Wayv Social Media AU Series ~

< Prev || Series Masterlist || Next >

Synopsis: You’ve just moved into a new apartment with your best friend Yangyang, but you’re immediately faced with a problem: your incredibly noisy upstairs neighbour Xiao Dejun, or to friends, Xiaojun. You spend the first few weeks of your acquaintance hating his guts, but after a sincere apology and a fascinating revelation about his passions and motivations you slowly begin to see past his cold exterior to discover the real him. What will happen as you get closer to this troubled boy and how will those closest to you react?

Pairing: Reader x Xiao Jun

Themes and Warnings: Explicit language, mild sexual content, mild violence and references to drinking/alcohol. Deals with themes of toxic masculinity, insecurity, gaslighting (sort of), and jealousy…

A/N: Sorry it's late today! I forgot to schedule the post for today and it took a while to edit!!

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Word Count: 1.9k Summary: This is literally just Kun being a badass dad friend... Not my best writing, but enjoy! ;)

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You sighed contentedly as you washed up the last of the dishes, draining the sink as Kun folded the dish towel, neatly hanging it on the towel rail. You’d had a pleasant evening cooking with him, making a number of Chinese dishes you’d wanted to try, like hot and sour stir-fried napa cabbage and beef noodle soup. You’d originally wanted to do all the cooking yourself and surprise the boys, but seeing as though now it was just the two of you, you’d thought it probably best to make use of Kun’s culinary skills. Having thoroughly tidied the kitchen and boxed up all the leftovers for Winwin and Yangyang, the pair of you made your way to the living room, dropping down onto the sofa which had become your pride and joy of your apartment. “Ahh I’m so full,” you said, exhaling heavily. “That was so good!” Kun chuckled. “Yeah, it turned out quite well,” he said, shifting the cushions behind him. You internally fist-pumped, secretly a little bit pleased that Kun enjoyed your meal. To be complimented on your cooking skills by chef Kun himself was the highest honour, although you couldn’t take all the credit since he’d actually done half the work. “Mainly thanks to you,” you said, smiling at him appreciatively, to which Kun chuckled dismissively. “Ah, you did most of the work, I was just your assistant,” he said. “A very helpful assistant,” you replied pointedly. “Wanna watch a movie then?” you asked as you reached for the remote control off the coffee table. “Sure, what were you thinking?” “Hmm, I’m not sure,” you said, wearily switching on the TV and xbox. You spent the next few minutes browsing Netflix to find something to watch and once you’d settled on a film you shifted closer to Kun, reaching for the blanket which had been lying haphazardly at the end of the sofa to keep you both cosy.

A few minutes into the movie, you felt the ceiling begin to vibrate and the heavy echo of pounding bass surge into the room. Kun turned to you to give you a look that seemed to say ‘what on earth?’ and you leaned your head back, letting out a frustrated groan realising that yet again it was your neighbour’s ridiculously loud music interrupting what was supposed to be a relaxing evening. “Is it always like this?” Kun asked, frowning. You shrugged. “I mean, it’s not everyday, but it’s pretty much always this loud…” You pouted sinking lower under the blanket. “I didn’t realise it was this bad. I’m surprised you get any sleep at all. I mean how can people be so inconsiderate?” You could hear the irritation in Kun’s voice. You were pretty angry about the constant noise emanating from upstairs, but you were generally quite passive whereas you could clearly tell Kun was starting to get pissed. “Yeah, I don’t know. It sucks, but I guess we’ve kind of gotten used to it now,” you replied. “How are you supposed to get used to it when you can barely even hear your own TV over it? You shouldn’t have to put up with it.” Kun said matter-of-factly. You groaned in response, burying your face in the blanket. “Aghhh I know, but it’s not like I can do much about it, I already tried asking him…” you whined, looking up at Kun in exasperation, but he met you with what can only be described as an unsympathetic look. “Of course you can do something about it! Why don’t you just talk to him again? And actually assert yourself this time? Or if that doesn’t work just talk to the building manager or put in a complaint or something. Honestly, you and Yangyang are hopeless…” He did have a point. There was plenty you could do but you just didn’t have the guts to do it. You were rather non-confrontational and didn’t want to end up in a nasty row with your neighbour after only one month of living there, but it seemed Kun had other ideas. “Ughh Kun, you know I don’t like confrontation. I don’t want to end up with a neighbour that hates me,” you said. Kun sighed. “So you’d rather have to put up with this everyday for the foreseeable future than have some asshole who’s not worth your time potentially dislike you?” You looked back at Kun sheepishly, almost as though you were a student who’d just been caught acting up by their teacher. You knew he was right, and you were being irrational, since Dejun’s music caused you problems daily, not to mention reducing your nightly sleep to an average of 4 hours, but you just didn’t have it in you to confront the issue. There was a pause before Kun pushed the blanket off his knees and stood up. “Well, if you’re not going to do anything then I will,” he said, before taking off toward the entrance hall of your apartment. “Wait what?!” you shreiked, panic bubbling up inside you at the thought of what he was going to do, and leaping to your feet you scurried down the hall after him. Kun swung your front door open as you caught up to him, and marched out of your apartment, turning to go up the stairs to the next floor. Now realising his intentions, you halted at the door, too embarrassed to also make an appearance at your neighbours door. Instead you stayed in the doorway peering round to the stairs and watching as Kun ascended. “Kun!” You squeaked. “What are you doing?!” Kun barely paused to look back at you before continuing on upwards.

As much as you wanted to chase after him and drag him back down the stairs, by the determined expression on his face you knew there was no point, so you stayed put, but after wedging your door open with one of Yangyang’s shoes that was cluttering up the entrance, you moved a little closer to the bottom of the stairs so as to try and hear what was going on. Soon you heard the clunk of a door opening, but clearly the walls were too thick, or something like that, as all you could hear was a faint mumbling, and you could only pick out one or two words. Nonetheless, you decided to stay there and listen, waiting in anticipation for the outcome of Kun’s abrupt disturbance of your neighbour’s evening.

~ Upstairs – Kun’s POV ~

“Yeah?” Xiaojun answered the door wearing a black long-sleeved t-shirt and sweatpants, his dark brown hair flopping softly down over his equally dark eyes. His expression was one of disinterest, Kun thought, which only served to fuel his irritation. “Hi, I’m Kun. I’m a friend of y/n downstairs?” Kun faltered a little in his conviction. Confrontation wasn’t really in his nature, however his years battling to make it in such a competitive industry as his had taught him to take control and make a stand when he needed, so after taking a split-second to recompose himself, he spoke again, this time his voice much firmer. “We were wondering if you could possibly turn your music down. It’s incredibly loud and right now we’re trying to watch TV and it’s quite distracting. And actually y/n said it’s been a problem before.” “Huh. Why doesn’t y/n come ask me herself then since she’s the one who actually lives here?” Xiaojun challenged. Kun growled internally. The cheek of this guy. “I believe she already did, but apparently you didn’t listen, so I thought you might need a reminder,” Kun jabbed, becoming a little passive-aggressive. Xiaojun raised his eyebrows, sensing the frustration in Kun’s voice and scoffed. “What, you her boyfriend or something?” With every passing second Kun grew to dislike Xiaojun more and more, and that remark certainly didn’t help one bit, thus, deciding that he’d had enough of the shorter man’s attitude he decided to throw all pleasantries aside. He was done being nice. “So what if I am?” He said, standing taller, but to Kun’s displeasure, Xiaojun just chuckled darkly looking at the ground before lifting his eyes and smirking at the older man in front of him. “Heh, pretty bad boyfriend if she’s still using Tinder…” Kun clenched his jaw. Clearly that Lucas guy had been talking, making his tactic completely useless, but who the hell did this guy think he was? This level of antagonism was completely unreasonable, and over what? Turning some goddamn music down. “Look,” Kun said. “I don’t want any trouble, but could you please just turn the music down? Y/n’s tired all the time these days because your music keeps her up all hours and she has to get up to go to work early in the morning. Just because you’re a failed musician or something doesn’t mean no one else has jobs to go to.”Kun hadn’t intended on saying the last part of his speech, since he knew himself how hard an industry it was to break into, and it wasn’t really his style to shame someone like that, but something about Xiaojun’s attitude just made him annoyed beyond reasonable reaction and boy did his outburst hit a nerve. “Excuse me?” Xiaojun replied, his voice much louder than before and his posture much more aggressive compared to the casual position he had been in just seconds ago. But Kun wouldn’t be intimidated, and glared at Xiaojun, looking him directly in the eyes to make one final comment. “Just keep it down, or we’ll be putting in a formal complaint”. “Yeah, whatever,” was the only reply Xiaojun gave, before stepping back and shutting the door in Kun’s face. Could’ve gone better, but it certainly got the message across.

~ Downstairs – Your PoV ~

You stood in the stairwell fidgeting your hands and straining to listen to the exchange between the two men upstairs. It had only been a couple of minutes but it was making you tense nonetheless. You were silently willing Kun to waltz down the stairs saying everything was fine but suddenly you heard a voice from upstairs much more clearly. Your eyes widened and you cringed as you heard Xiaojun’s raised voice rhetorically asking “excuse me?!”, realising the conversation wasn’t going as pleasantly as you had hoped. You weren’t sure you wanted to hear the rest of it, but you kept on listening. Luckily for you however, the voices returned to the same muffled humming as before, until you heard a door slam, Kun emerging on the stairs a moment later. “Kun! What happened?!” you whisper-shouted, as though you were afraid Xiaojun might hear you, moving out of the way as Kun strode past you before following him back into your apartment. Kun stopped in the hallway briefly to look at you. “Lets just say I don’t think he’ll be bothering you anymore.” You wanted to ask what on earth had gone on, but clearly that was all Kun was willing to say on the matter, so you simply followed him back to the living room where he flopped down onto his place on the couch. “Come on then, now we can actually watch the movie,” Kun said, stretching his arm out to you as you wandered towards the couch. Obediently, you took his hand and he pulled you down next to him so you leant against his shoulder, throwing the blanket that had earlier fallen to the floor over you both, and with that you spent the rest of the evening watching the film in peace, but with the niggling thought in the back of your mind that your neighbour Xiaojun may very well have just put you on a vendetta list.

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[karasuno-chaos]

Resolutions (Daichi x Reader)

Hello!  Happy New Year!  I’m just popping by to offer this little blurb in honor of Daichi’s birthday (Dec. 31) and the new year!  Enjoy some Karasuno third years bonding and the blooming of possibilities. -Giz

Genre: fluff

Word Count:  1,917

Warnings: drinking (but not excessively)

When Daichi pulled the cheap wig out of the bag, his face contorted into something between humor and horror.  Suga cackled at the reaction, apparently pleased with the response to his gift.  Asahi and Kiyoko laughed as well.  Even though you were confused, you cracked a grin.  You didn’t get the joke, but your friends’ amusement was infectious.

“This is terrible,” Daichi said with enough mirth to be half-joking.

“I think you mean perfect,” Suga grinned.

“Is Daichi going bald or something?” you asked in a whisper, leaning across the couch to Kiyoko.

“No,” she chuckled.  “It’s referencing that time the vice principal’s toupee landed on his head.”

“What?” you cried, looking around at the others in demand of an explanation.

“Y/N, you never heard about that?” Asahi asked.

“No!  I mean, I knew the vice principal had a toupee, but I didn’t know Daichi wore it once.”

“It was not intentional, I assure you,” he grumbled.

“So what happened?”

They recounted the event from two years ago.  Daichi’s face twisted ruefully at the memory.  You were amazed you’d never heard this story when it still affected him so strongly.  You and he had been friends through high school and managed to grow closer after graduation, but evidently there were still things you could learn about him.

“I can’t believe you never heard about it,” Asahi said once you had all of the facts.

“We were sworn to secrecy,” Kiyoko recalled.

“Daichi was very strict about enforcing that rule,” Suga snickered.

“Even now I get the sense that the vice principal is going to appear out of nowhere and lecture us.”  The former captain shuddered.  “It used to give me nightmares.”

“I still get nightmares,” Asahi groaned.

“You weren’t even there!” Suga laughed.

“That’s probably for the best,” Kiyoko chuckled.  “I’m not sure he would have survived living through it.”

“I can’t believe I never knew about this,” you said, directing your words to Daichi.  He gave you an apologetic smile and shrugged.  “What other stories did you keep from me in high school?”

“Nothing important,” he promised.

“HA!” Suga snorted.  Daichi gave him a look that you weren’t sure how to interpret.  You glanced at Kiyoko who shrugged and hid her smile in her wine glass.  You huffed out an exasperated breath before taking your own sip of wine.  You could guess at what they were implying.

By graduation, you’d figured out your feelings for Daichi, and so had your friends.  Despite their encouragement, you’d decided not to act on those feelings.  Navigating jobs and post-graduate plans was challenging enough without including a new relationship or a broken heart.  Besides, you were comfortable in your friendship with Daichi.  Yes you wanted more, but you could wait until your lives settled down a little.

Over the past year, though, you’d started noticing a shift in your dynamic.  There were more late night conversations or meet-ups for coffee.  The way Daichi behaved didn’t change, but you’d catch his eye more often, and he’d look at you with softer expressions than he used to.  Suga started teasing the both of you, saying you were behaving like Kiyoko and Tanaka.  You usually brushed it off like you did with most of Suga’s teasing, but your other friends were starting to drop hints that you should start dating, and Daichi managed to dodge their leading questions without denying the possibility.  You figured it was only a matter of time before you talked and made it official.  You just hadn’t had time to have that conversation yet.

You promised yourself to do it this year, but for now, you would enjoy this evening with your friends.  It was possibly the last time you’d get to hang out like this.  Kiyoko was engaged, and by the next New Year’s Eve, she and Tanaka would be happily married.  Asahi was starting to make his way onto the fashion scene in Tokyo, and while he wasn’t the most adventurous person, you knew he was excited about the possibilities before him and would run forward into whatever opportunities he discovered.  You, Suga, and Daichi were finishing up schooling and certifications, but then you’d be settling into careers of your own.  A lot could happen in a year.

You looked around Daichi’s living room at your friends.  Tonight you were celebrating Daichi’s birthday and the end of the year.  Tomorrow you’d make your New Year’s shrine visit and celebrate Asahi’s birthday.  You had two whole days to reminisce and joke around with your favorite people.  You thought it was the perfect way to kick off the next year.

You must have closed your eyes, content with the friendship and wine flowing through you, because the next thing you knew, you were bolting upright as something brushed against your shoulders.

“Whoa!”  Daichi flinched away, surprised by your sudden movement.  You blinked, taking in the blanket in his hands and the dimmed lights.  “Sorry, I thought you were asleep.”

“I think I was,” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes.  “What time is it?”

“11:30.”

You looked at your other friends who had also fallen asleep.  Suga and Asahi leaned on each other, a blanket draped across them, and Kiyoko was curled under another blanket at the other end of the couch.  Everyone’s wine glasses had been carefully moved to the kitchen, and pillows were close at hand if anyone woke and wanted a comfier place to rest their head.

“Look at us,” you said with a grin.  “We can’t even last until midnight.  We’ve gotten old.”

Daichi chuckled.

“I debated waking everyone up, but I think we’d all agree that sleep is more exciting than midnight on New Year’s Eve.”  He caught your eye with a smile.  “I guess we are getting old.”

“Why are you still up then?” you asked.  He shrugged.

“Someone has to tuck you in.”

“Not me, not anymore.”  You hauled yourself off of the couch, letting the movement hide the fond grin that pulled at your lips.  “I’m staying up until midnight.  Want to keep me company?”

“Sure.”  He tossed you the blanket in his hands and grabbed one for himself.  “Let’s step out onto the balcony so we don’t wake the others.”

The apartment balcony was barely a balcony, but there was enough room for both of you to lean against the guardrail and take in the stars and streetlights.  Even for the end of December, it was mild, and you were comfortable wrapped in the blanket next to your best friend.

“Did you have a good birthday?” you asked after a moment, gently bumping him with your shoulder.

“It was great.  Thank you for making it happen.”

“No need to thank me.  Everyone was in as soon as I proposed the idea of this get-together.  I think we’re all getting something great out of it.”

“It is nice to have everyone together for a while.”

“Next time will probably be Kiyoko’s wedding,” you mused.

“Crazy,” he breathed.  “Who knew Tanaka’s persistence would pay off?”

“I did,” you chuckled, “but we’re not all gifted with foresight, so I won’t hold it against you.”

“Well did you predict that we’d be the only two awake to welcome in the new year?”

“No,” you admitted.  “But I’m not complaining.”

You smiled, and he grinned back in that slightly soft way he was showing you more and more often.

“I’m not either,” he said quietly.  You felt butterflies and anticipation in your chest.  You turned away before the feeling overwhelmed you.

“Do you have any resolutions for the new year?”

“A few,” he admitted.  “You?”

“A few.”  You checked your phone for the time.  “There’s only a few minutes left.  Care to share any before the new year arrives?”

“If I share them now, doesn’t that mean they might not come true?” he asked cheekily.

“I mean, they might not come true regardless.  Besides, you’re thinking of birthdays and shooting stars.  Those are different.”

“It is my birthday, though.”

“For another three minutes,” you said, checking your phone again.

“Well I’m going to keep my resolutions and wishes to myself, just to be safe.  If you wanted to share any, though, I’m all ears.”

“I think, to keep it fair, I’ll keep my resolutions to myself too.”

“I thought so,” he said with a grin.

“Oh, you think you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Maybe.  I’m pretty close, at least.”

“Bold words, sir.”

“You’re not denying it,” he challenged gently.  You looked at him, studying his face for traces of intention and seeing only understanding.  You felt your face warm under his gaze.

“Alright then,” you said, “if you know me so well, what are my New Year’s resolutions?”

“I’m pretty sure I know one of them.”  He took a step forward, unwrapping an arm from his blanket and reaching for you.  You were sure you were blushing deeply when his fingers reached your cheek and cradled your face, but you didn’t pull away.  You were excited more than embarrassed or nervous, even if your emotions had your head buzzing.

One of the nearby apartments must have been hosting a party as well because you heard a faint chorus of voices start counting down from ten.  You didn’t bother to check your phone.  You didn’t want to look away from Daichi or break this momentum.  You were on the brink of a new year and a new level of your relationship.  A smile spread across your face as the countdown reached zero, and he returned your grin.

“Happy New Year Daichi.”

“Happy New Year Y/N.”

Then, because it was the most natural thing you could do, you leaned forward and met his lips with yours.  The kiss was gentle yet firm, a question and answer and promise all in one.  You didn’t linger in its warmth, though, not wanting to overstep.  This was just the beginning, after all.  You stepped back, and Daichi let you, though his hand held your cheek a second longer.

“Well it’s about time!”

You startled at the unexpected exclamation, and Daichi’s hand retreated to his blanket.  Suga, Asahi, and Kiyoko were crowded in the balcony doorway grinning at the two of you.

“When did you wake up?” Daichi asked.

“A few minutes ago,” Kiyoko explained.

“So are you finally official?” Asahi asked, leading the others onto the small balcony.

“Well, we haven’t actually discussed anything,” Daichi said, and you caught a trace of uncertainty in his voice.  You understood the hesitation.  It was New Year’s, after all.  Sometimes kissing at midnight was just an act of celebration.  But the confidence you’d felt when you’d held his gaze in that second after you broke apart was something different.  You didn’t want this chance to slip away, so you reached for his hand and squeezed it gently.  He glanced at you, and your grin chased away his remaining uncertainty.

“But yes,” you answered, turning back to your friends, “I’m pretty sure we are.”

“I called it!” Suga whooped, slapping Daichi happily on his back.  You laughed, letting go of your new boyfriend’s hand to accept hugs and congratulations from your friends.

As you wished them a happy new year, you couldn’t contain the smile spreading across your face.  This was a new start.  The new year was spread before all of you with its possibilities and adventures.  You caught Daichi’s eye, and from his expression you knew he was just as excited for everything you would get to experience together.

[annerbhp]

Lucky

- part one

- part two

- part three

- part four

- part five

- part six

- part seven

- part eight

- part nine

Part Ten

As they settle in for their first weekend in the Burrow, Ginny is pleased to see that Ron is behaving himself for the most part.

Soon enough he and Harry seem as chummy as ever. And, no, she is not warmed by their ridiculous friendship and how happy it clearly makes both of them just to be around each other. Mostly because Ron has also done everything he can to ensure that Harry and Ginny are never alone for even a minute.

Though it’s Molly who puts a ward across Ginny’s door.

“I’m very happy for you too,” she says, patting Ginny’s hand. “But there will be no nonsense under my roof.”

Ginny bites back the impulse to ask what she means by nonsense. Or more importantly, just what kind of things Molly herself got up to her fifth year to make her so suspicious.

Ron seems to have restrained himself from teasing Harry about the ward, probably rightly realizing he would be mortified if he knew. No, Ron saves the teasing all for her, the git.

But no one is mad or upset or making Harry feel bad, so not being able to find a minute to kiss him again the last 36 hours seems a small enough price to pay. Or so she tells herself.

Ron and Harry are currently at the sink, trimming sprouts, while Ginny sets the table. Harry is filling Ron in on everything they overheard Draco say the night of the party.

Ron glances back at her near the beginning of the recitation—though whether because he isn’t certain she should hear this or because he’s questioning her loyalties, she doesn’t know, because Harry says, “Ginny was there too, she heard it.”

Harry seems glad to have someone to back him up, especially since Ron seems dubious. Not that Ginny doesn’t have to correct Harry a few times when he overstates things.

“It’s definitely suspicious though!” Harry says.

“Yes,” Ginny agrees. “It is.” She still intends to give it the proper thought it deserves, though she’s still not sure what business it is of hers, what Draco may or may not be getting up to. If he’s a Death Eater.

“I take it Malfoy isn’t shouting about his evil plans in the Slytherin common room then,” Ron says, looking back at her.

“No,” Ginny says. “He’s rarely there from what I’ve seen.”

“See!” Harry says, grabbing onto the tidbit with typical zeal. “Suspicious!”

“But I’m not there much either,” she feels the need to clarify. “So maybe I’ve just missed him.”

“You aren’t?” Ron asks. “Why not? I mean, it’s not my favorite place, but I don’t remember it being that unpleasant.”

Ginny’s eyes narrow. “When have you ever been in the Slytherin common room?”

Ron and Harry share shifty glances.

“Uh, never,” Ron says. “Just guessing, really.”

Ginny looks at Harry, daring him to lie to her as blatantly as her brother just did.

He glances uneasily between the two of them. “Our second year,” he says, Ron immediately groaning and shoving at Harry’s shoulder.

“Whipped already,” Ron mutters.

Harry glares at him. “You want me to lie to her?”

“Fine,” Ron says. “We made polyjuice to get in. We thought maybe Malfoy was the one opening the chamber.”

Ginny feels something cold slide down her spine. “Oh.” She shoves the feeling down and away. Away, away, away. When she can breathe again, she says, “Right house, wrong person, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Ron says, having the grace to look uncomfortable. “Guess so.”

Harry’s looking at her too, but she can’t quite get herself to meet his gaze. “Well, what I’m hearing from this new tidbit is that this is hardly the first time you’ve suspected Draco of some evil plot.”

Ron snorts. “Harry pretty much suspects him of an evil plot every year.”

Harry scowls. “That’s not true. And besides, this year we already have proof!”

“One conversation is hardly proof,” Ron says.

“What about Borgin and Burke’s?”

“We all agreed we didn’t clearly see anything there. And you told Dumbledore, didn’t you? He didn’t think it was anything.”

“Which is stupid!” Harry exclaims. “I mean, the thing with Katie too!”

It does seem like a lot of suspicious things happening around Draco. But hearing that Harry spoke with Dumbledore and was dismissed is just as interesting. Unless he’s exaggerating that too. “Maybe they’re already doing something about it,” Ginny says. “The teachers. And they don’t want you getting in the way.”

Harry turns, opening his mouth with clear outrage, but she cuts across him before he can speak. “I’m not saying that’s right or okay, I’m just saying maybe it’s what they think.”

He gives her a mulish look, taking it out on the poor sprouts.

The conversation doesn’t go any further, the twins bursting into the kitchen a moment later. They come up behind Ron, arms thrown over his shoulders. “What is this we hear about you and a certain Lavender Brown?”

“What?” Ron sputters.

Fred leans in closer. “Sucking face every available moment?”

Ron’s ears burn an alarming shade of red, craning his head around to look at Ginny. “I can’t believe you told them!” 

She lifts her hands. “I didn’t.”

“Oh, no,” Fred confirms. “Our slippery little sister has failed us on that account. We heard it from a very reliable source. A Gryffindor source.”

Ginny rolls her eyes.

George nods. “Third-hand from someone who witnessed it first-hand!”

“Though from what we’ve heard,” Fred adds, “there is no one at Hogwarts who has not witnessed it first-hand.”

Ron pushes them off him, beginning to look desperate. “I think you should be a bit more concerned with who Harry has been snogging!”

“Wow,” Ginny says. “I thought Gryffindor were supposed to be brave. Way to throw your best mate to the skrewts.”

But Ron’s desperate ploy pays off immediately, the twins off and running, and nothing in the world to stop them as they turn on Harry instead.

George looks delighted. “Has little Harry caught himself a paramour at long last as well? What a bumper year for Gryffindor year six!”

Fred leans into Harry. “Has the Chosen One been chosen?”

“Tell us, Harry,” George says.

“Someone slip something into your pumpkin juice?” Fred asks.

Harry scowls. “Of course not.”

“Ah, a bit touchy,” George says, looking over at Fred. “He must really like this girl. It is a girl, isn’t it?”

“Does she know what a scrawny git you are?”

“Hopefully she doesn’t assume the Boy-Who-Lived is suave and cool.”

“Maybe she’s impressed by his Quidditch skills.”

“Likes a bloke who can handle his broom.”

Harry may look like he wants to die and sink into the floor, but Ron is the one looking more and more miserable the longer the twins talk. Serves him right.

Ginny just leans back, content to let them dig a hole as deep as possible for themselves.

“Tell us, Harry,” George insists.

“What’s she like?” Fred asks.

“Easy on the eyes?”

“A scintillating conversationalist?” Fred wags his eyebrows.

“Yes, tell us, Harry,” Ginny breaks in, feeling inexplicably perverse. “Is she a good kisser?”

The twins crow in approval, giving her proud looks as she appears to jump on to the ‘give Harry shit’ train.

Harry’s the one to turn and look at her in surprise, but she just lifts her eyebrow in challenge.

“No need to be bashful,” she says, fighting hard to keep a smile off her face.

He regards her a moment, like he’s trying to figure out what game she’s playing. “A gentleman never tells.”

The twins groan.

“Nice save,” Ginny says, rather pleasantly remembering their leisurely afternoon on the train.

“Pathetic,” Fred accuses.

“Well, it’s all I’ll say about it,” Harry says, even as a slow grin curves his lips like maybe he’s thinking about it to. Ginny gets stuck staring at his mouth for a moment.

Fred hoots with laughter. “From the look on his face, I’d say that’s a strong yes.”

“A very strong yes,” George agrees.

“You guys—” Ron tries to interrupt, looking more and more pained. But Ginny has no intention of letting him help the twins out of this before she’s good and ready.

“Ron,” she cuts across him. “Don’t be a spoilsport. We all want to know about Harry’s mystery woman.” She leans forward on her elbow, propping her chin up on her hand. “Go on, Harry. Enlighten us.”

“Yes, do tell,” George says.

“We want details,” Fred agrees.

Ginny settles back to wait, more curious to hear what he’ll say than she probably should be.

“Well,” Harry says, once he realizes Ginny has no intention of rescuing him from this, “she’s definitely got a wicked sense of humor. Downright depraved some might say.”

Ginny fights hard to keep her countenance, and Harry can clearly tell, a small smirk on his face, like maybe he’s settling in to enjoy himself. It only makes her want to kiss him more.

“Good, good,” Fred says. “It’s important to find someone capable of taking a joke.”

Harry nods. “Yes, well, she doesn’t take shit from anyone either. Especially me.” He pauses, his eyes lighting up with mischief. “Best of all, she’s almost as good as I am at Quidditch.”

“Almost?” Ginny says, forgetting herself.

“Also,” Harry continues, clearly either not recognizing or just unmoved by the murder in her eyes, “even though she would deny it with her dying breath, she is just as competitive as any Gryffindor.”

“You take that back,” she says, eyes narrowing.

Harry leans against the sink, grinning at her as he crosses his arms over his chest, clearly proud to have gotten a rise out of her. “Make me.”

Ginny pushes to her feet. “Oh, it’s on. You, me, brooms, the paddock. Now.”

“Wait, what?” she hears George say, but she’s far too focused on Harry to care.

“It’s nearly dark!” Ron tries to reason. “And cold!”

“So what?” Harry says, clearly just as keen. 

“Yeah,” Ginny says. “Fred and George will help you finish up the sprouts. Won’t you, brother dears?” Crossing over to Harry, she grabs the front of his shirt, tugging him towards the back door. “Harry and I have a few things to take care of.”

They are walking out the door when she hears George says, “What the hell?”

“You mean Harry and Ginny—?” Fred starts to say, voice incredulous.

The door shuts, cutting off any further conversation.

Harry shakes his head as he follows her out into the garden. “I meant it. Depraved.”

“You had just as much fun with that, admit it,” Ginny says, leading him around towards the front of the house until they are out of view of the kitchen windows. 

“Depraved,” he repeats, even as he reaches for her waist, like it’s also occurred to him that this is the first time they’ve been alone since they arrived.

“And a really good kisser?” she asks, her hand sneaking up behind his neck, Quidditch already forgotten. Or rather put off for another day. She has no intention of forgetting it.

“Yeah,” he says, “not a competitive bone in your body.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“I should have added bossy,” he says, not giving her a chance to respond before he’s kissing her. 

And god, it’s almost better that she remembers, her entire body tingling as he kisses and kisses and kisses her, brothers and mysteries and competitions all completely forgotten. Neither of them even paying any attention to the two soft cracks nearby as more people arrive.

“So was anyone going to tell me that Harry and Ginny are together?” they hear Bill ask loudly as he wrenches open the front door to the Burrow. “Or was I just supposed to walk by them snogging in the garden to figure it out?”

[devilsskettle]

i think nearly half the time i have a problem with a movie, it’s because of the pacing, and unfortunately i think that’s the most difficult part to get right while also being the foundation for the whole movie. this is definitely true imo of the fear street movies. it’s not just that the overall pacing in fear street is pretty rough, it’s also the pacing of the scenes, especially when they try to have an emotional moment but don’t seem to know how to transition smoothly back to the main plot so the ends of certain scenes are choppy and abrupt. like both of alice’s big emotional moments seem shoehorned in to try to get the audience to care about her without really thinking about working in that dialogue naturally. it’s probably bad to say this but the first time i watched that scene where cindy confesses to snitching on her and alice tells her about her s*lf h*rm, i literally laughed out loud not because the content of the scene is funny obviously but because the first time alice shows emotional vulnerability and expresses herself genuinely, they don’t even try to wrap up the scene - the next line of dialogue after “we all have our ways of dealing with shadyside” is cindy recognizing the red moss from camp lol it’s like the writers were like oh, we actually need to make alice an emotionally compelling character, so they spun a wheel of generic teen drama issues and landed on s*lf h*rm, put it into their madlibs for dramatic teen dialogue, and were like okay that’s enough of that, moving on. (for the record i’m not making light of s*lf h*rm, i know it’s a serious issue and it’s one that i deal with myself, which is why i have a problem with how carelessly they threw it into the story as a cheap tactic to try to get you to care about a character they didn’t even care about enough to actually give any character development, without thinking about it with any nuance or sensitivity imo. i know other people were fine with it so maybe i’m hypercritical and hypersensitive but whatever that’s just my opinion).

then when she makes her big speech about standing up and fighting the curse, she’s immediately axed in the face. like i’m sorry but what is the point if there was going to be no suspense at all between her climactic character development moment and her death. i’m not saying i need them to write a novel but i think we need at least three minutes or so between then and her death for the speech to have emotional resonance or else it seems like either a poorly executed (no pun intended) joke or sloppy writing

(much like simon’s death - again, i literally laughed out loud the first time i watched it but it really does seem like they just. ran out of time and didn’t know how to kill him but needed him dead for plot purposes lol, it also cuts short the potential emotional impact of kate’s death since neither he or josh have a chance to react beyond the initial shock).

then there’s a couple moments in part 3 where i thought they were setting up some kind of moment of emotional connection between ziggy and the other characters, but they just didn’t follow through at all. first of all, she was criminally underutilized in the 1994 part of the plot line, but we might’ve gotten a little bit better of an idea of her life and personality as an adult if she had just been given any meaningful dialogue at all lol. like when she sees the tree at the mall and has flashbacks to the camp nightwing massacre, deena comes up to her and they have a moment together looking at the tree and deena goes “this is it” and ziggy just says “yup” and walks away so deena can have her own tree-related flashback and i just??? i really expected them to have some kind of little exchange since they’re really similar characters who have gone through difficult curse-related challenges and have lost people they’ve cared about as a result and they’re both risking their lives to try to break the curse and help each other and they haven’t really had a conversation with each other about any of that and you’d think at some point they would at least from a writing perspective as narrative parallels and they had this little moment all set up to do that and they just decided to show us shit we’ve already seen again? then abruptly cut back to the main action? and then later when josh is like “i can’t lose my sister!” you’d think that’s a big emotionally climactic moment for josh but also it’s something that maybe would resonate with ziggy since her sister also was murdered by the same killers they’re fighting but she and martin just stand there looking at him like  ._.  then it cuts away to the main action again like they really could’ve done more there i don’t know i just find it so hard to stay emotionally invested in movies that don’t really know what they’re trying to do with their characters in the first place