#this is the format i'll try to stick by for this
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daily-table21 · 6 months ago
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Video: Mississippi Joins the Table
Status: Public
Link: Mississippi Joins the Table - YouTube
Date Posted: September 6th 2022
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missmouse43 · 4 months ago
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Jiara Ficlet #4
Word prompt: Spider (Read on AO3)
Pre-canon so they’re just friends but JJ is still looking because, I mean… can we blame him?
Will die on the hill that Kiara is the spider catcher of the group.
Teasing, banter and humour.
391 Words
Written by an arachnophobe so trust that it’s not that bad.
Enjoy?
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“Don’t kill it.” “I’m gonna kill it.” “Don’t. Just put it outside.” JJ stared down at the floor in disgust—the "it" they were currently debating the fate of still trapped under an empty cup near his booted feet. This particular eight-legged demon was alarmingly big enough to require human-sized cup levels of imprisonment. Oh yes, there was nothing “itsy bitsy” about it. “So it can come back later with reinforcements? Right, sure. Brilliant idea, Kiara,” came JJ's sarcastic reply. Said girl, who currently had her feet kicked up on one end of the couch and held an environmental magazine open in front of her face, dropped the reading material onto her chest and eyed him with a critical glare. “It’s a living creature, JJ. Do you want to be a murderer?” The blond had seen his best friend smack enough mosquitoes over the years to know she was being a big, fat hypocrite right now, but for once he had the good sense not to challenge her on it. He'd probably find a similar creepy crawler on his pillow later tonight if he dared to try. “Besides," Kiara continued, already exasperated by his dramatics, "it’ll literally take you, like, five seconds to set it free. Stop being lazy.” “Then why don't you deal with this abomination of nature?” JJ was just as busy trying to break John B's record for how many beer cans he could stack on the dining table, thank you very much. With a roll of the eyes so emphatic it should have given her whiplash, Kiara snatched up the magazine and hopped off the couch, heading straight for him. JJ stepped aside and was immediately rewarded with an up-close and personal view of her backside in those tiny shorts as she bent over in front of him to reach for the cup. After a slight delay in brain functionality, he awkwardly averts his gaze. Kiara misses it entirely, too focused on sliding the magazine under the glass and trapping the spider inside before flipping it right side up and returning to full height.
JJ's still pretending to be interested in a mysterious brownish-green stain on the wall, his cheeks dusted a shade or two darker, when Kiara, already halfway out the front door of the Chateau, shouts one last dig at him over her shoulder.
“Baby!”
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watatsumiis · 2 years ago
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Posts might slow down a little, my computer done broke and I'll probably have to wait until after Christmas to get it fixed :c
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pride-of-storm · 1 month ago
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lmao got birth control arm implant replaced this afternoon and like. on the one hand the numbness hasn't even fully worn off yet, but on the other hand the pressure bandage is Already driving me nuts. and there is some marvelous bruising starting to peek out the top of it too, so i know i definitely can't take it off yet but-- augh
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renthony · 8 months ago
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I am begging people to use LibreOffice and personal storage devices like hard drives or USB sticks instead of relying 100% on Google Docs. LibreOffice is free and open-source, it saves files to your own computer, and it lets you save as many different file types. You can write in it, format ebooks in it, and do everything you might possibly need to do as a writer.
"Oh, but I'll lose my USB stick--" Fine, back things up in whatever cloud you use as a form of extra protection, but you should also try your absolute damnedest to also put them on some form of storage that isn't a cloud.
I know it's not accessible to everyone, but if you at all have the ability, don't rely on shit that lives on other people's computers. Especially with everything going on with AI theft and aggressive censorship of adult media. If you don't store your files on your own personal computer that you have control over, your files aren't fully yours, and they're at the whims of whoever owns the cloud.
Learn where your files are stored and how to access them. Get into the habit of backing up your files to your own personal storage. Even if you're not up for intense tech research and you don't care about how the computer actually works, please stop letting your art live in corporate clouds.
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snow-system-wol · 11 months ago
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Me getting really excited/sad over the Black Shroud/Serenity rearrangement for Baelsar's Wall dungeon
Vs
S'ria having what is surely a great time drowning in about 10 enemies
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mostlysignssomeportents · 10 days ago
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Shifting $677m from the banks to the people, every year, forever
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I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.
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"Switching costs" are one of the great underappreciated evils in our world: the more it costs you to change from one product or service to another, the worse the vendor, provider, or service you're using today can treat you without risking your business.
Businesses set out to keep switching costs as high as possible. Literally. Mark Zuckerberg's capos send him memos chortling about how Facebook's new photos feature will punish anyone who leaves for a rival service with the loss of all their family photos – meaning Zuck can torment those users for profit and they'll still stick around so long as the abuse is less bad than the loss of all their cherished memories:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs
It's often hard to quantify switching costs. We can tell when they're high, say, if your landlord ties your internet service to your lease (splitting the profits with a shitty ISP that overcharges and underdelivers), the switching cost of getting a new internet provider is the cost of moving house. We can tell when they're low, too: you can switch from one podcatcher program to another just by exporting your list of subscriptions from the old one and importing it into the new one:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/16/keep-it-really-simple-stupid/#read-receipts-are-you-kidding-me-seriously-fuck-that-noise
But sometimes, economists can get a rough idea of the dollar value of high switching costs. For example, a group of economists working for the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau calculated that the hassle of changing banks is costing Americans at least $677m per year (see page 526):
https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_personal-financial-data-rights-final-rule_2024-10.pdf
The CFPB economists used a very conservative methodology, so the number is likely higher, but let's stick with that figure for now. The switching costs of changing banks – determining which bank has the best deal for you, then transfering over your account histories, cards, payees, and automated bill payments – are costing everyday Americans more than half a billion dollars, every year.
Now, the CFPB wasn't gathering this data just to make you mad. They wanted to do something about all this money – to find a way to lower switching costs, and, in so doing, transfer all that money from bank shareholders and executives to the American public.
And that's just what they did. A newly finalized Personal Financial Data Rights rule will allow you to authorize third parties – other banks, comparison shopping sites, brokers, anyone who offers you a better deal, or help you find one – to request your account data from your bank. Your bank will be required to provide that data.
I loved this rule when they first proposed it:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/10/getting-things-done/#deliverism
And I like the final rule even better. They've really nailed this one, even down to the fine-grained details where interop wonks like me get very deep into the weeds. For example, a thorny problem with interop rules like this one is "who gets to decide how the interoperability works?" Where will the data-formats come from? How will we know they're fit for purpose?
This is a super-hard problem. If we put the monopolies whose power we're trying to undermine in charge of this, they can easily cheat by delivering data in uselessly obfuscated formats. For example, when I used California's privacy law to force Mailchimp to provide list of all the mailing lists I've been signed up for without my permission, they sent me thousands of folders containing more than 5,900 spreadsheets listing their internal serial numbers for the lists I'm on, with no way to find out what these lists are called or how to get off of them:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/22/degoogled/#kafka-as-a-service
So if we're not going to let the companies decide on data formats, who should be in charge of this? One possibility is to require the use of a standard, but again, which standard? We can ask a standards body to make a new standard, which they're often very good at, but not when the stakes are high like this. Standards bodies are very weak institutions that large companies are very good at capturing:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/30/weak-institutions/
Here's how the CFPB solved this: they listed out the characteristics of a good standards body, listed out the data types that the standard would have to encompass, and then told banks that so long as they used a standard from a good standards body that covered all the data-types, they'd be in the clear.
Once the rule is in effect, you'll be able to go to a comparison shopping site and authorize it to go to your bank for your transaction history, and then tell you which bank – out of all the banks in America – will pay you the most for your deposits and charge you the least for your debts. Then, after you open a new account, you can authorize the new bank to go back to your old bank and get all your data: payees, scheduled payments, payment history, all of it. Switching banks will be as easy as switching mobile phone carriers – just a few clicks and a few minutes' work to get your old number working on a phone with a new provider.
This will save Americans at least $677 million, every year. Which is to say, it will cost the banks at least $670 million every year.
Naturally, America's largest banks are suing to block the rule:
https://www.americanbanker.com/news/cfpbs-open-banking-rule-faces-suit-from-bank-policy-institute
Of course, the banks claim that they're only suing to protect you, and the $677m annual transfer from their investors to the public has nothing to do with it. The banks claim to be worried about bank-fraud, which is a real thing that we should be worried about. They say that an interoperability rule could make it easier for scammers to get at your data and even transfer your account to a sleazy fly-by-night operation without your consent. This is also true!
It is obviously true that a bad interop rule would be bad. But it doesn't follow that every interop rule is bad, or that it's impossible to make a good one. The CFPB has made a very good one.
For starters, you can't just authorize anyone to get your data. Eligible third parties have to meet stringent criteria and vetting. These third parties are only allowed to ask for the narrowest slice of your data needed to perform the task you've set for them. They aren't allowed to use that data for anything else, and as soon as they've finished, they must delete your data. You can also revoke their access to your data at any time, for any reason, with one click – none of this "call a customer service rep and wait on hold" nonsense.
What's more, if your bank has any doubts about a request for your data, they are empowered to (temporarily) refuse to provide it, until they confirm with you that everything is on the up-and-up.
I wrote about the lawsuit this week for @[email protected]'s Deeplinks blog:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2024/10/no-matter-what-bank-says-its-your-money-your-data-and-your-choice
In that article, I point out the tedious, obvious ruses of securitywashing and privacywashing, where a company insists that its most abusive, exploitative, invasive conduct can't be challenged because that would expose their customers to security and privacy risks. This is such bullshit.
It's bullshit when printer companies say they can't let you use third party ink – for your own good:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/
It's bullshit when car companies say they can't let you use third party mechanics – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms
It's bullshit when Apple says they can't let you use third party app stores – for your own good:
https://www.eff.org/document/letter-bruce-schneier-senate-judiciary-regarding-app-store-security
It's bullshit when Facebook says you can't independently monitor the paid disinformation in your feed – for your own good:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/05/comprehensive-sex-ed/#quis-custodiet-ipsos-zuck
And it's bullshit when the banks say you can't change to a bank that charges you less, and pays you more – for your own good.
CFPB boss Rohit Chopra is part of a cohort of Biden enforcers who've hit upon a devastatingly effective tactic for fighting corporate power: they read the law and found out what they're allowed to do, and then did it:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis
The CFPB was created in 2010 with the passage of the Consumer Financial Protection Act, which specifically empowers the CFPB to make this kind of data-sharing rule. Back when the CFPA was in Congress, the banks howled about this rule, whining that they were being forced to share their data with their competitors.
But your account data isn't your bank's data. It's your data. And the CFPB is gonna let you have it, and they're gonna save you and your fellow Americans at least $677m/year – forever.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/01/bankshot/#personal-financial-data-rights
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perrigoaway · 6 months ago
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I've been trying to figure out how to format this comic forever..
Yapping beneath as per usual
My sister gave me an idea like this months ago and it took me so long to figure it out TT the initial idea is that Miles has a nightmare where he's in danger and Gumshoe basically takes the fall for him, as loyal as he is. In the morning, Miles buys him a surplus of good food lol
I think it's very sweet that Edgeworth's love language is pretty clearly acts of service, along with buying gifts for others TT like in 1-4 when Miles bails out Maya for her help, or when he.. you know, charters a private jet for Nick LOL. He's someone who pretends he's aloof on the outside and actually cares for others so thoroughly, he's willing to stick out his own neck after only being hurt in the past.
I'm not sure why I have such a tendency to make comics with Miles and Gumshoe? I guess I just really enjoy their dynamic and since the game doesn't USUALLY allow Edgeworth to be kind or decent back to Gumshoe, I'll do it myself I guess haha. Also, yes Gumshoe is sleeping at the police department cause.. idk, he's just there. Maybe he worked overnight or accidentally fell asleep on the clock TT sorry for torturing Edgeworth, it will probably happen again 👍
Hopefully my dialog and handwriting are legible TT
(If there's any rhythm heaven fans seeing this.. omg hiiii, Miles Edgeworth steel samurai slice..)
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in-another-april · 5 months ago
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spencer being a menace and distracting his s/o while they're working because he's clingy and wants attention hehe
summary/prompt + genre - Spencer misses you while you're working :( | fluff
warnings - none
wc - 505
notes - aaaaa cute cute cute :( this got so longgg, im experimenting with different formats since i got kinda tired of just blurbs and hcs but if this flops i'll stick to what i know!!
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In Spencer's defense, he really does try to give you your space. He's spent the majority of the day on the couch, reading book after book to keep himself busy, while you've been holed up in the bedroom working.
He's a few pages into his 8th (or was it his 9th?? 10th? He's lost count at this point) book, when he reads something that makes him think of you. Smiling, he turns to your usual spot on the couch to share it with you, only then remembering that you're not there. Then it hits him.
He misses you.
He quickly decides to check in on you, just to see how it's going and make sure you're not overworking yourself. Yeah, that's it. No ulterior motive there at all, he swears.
He makes his way to the bedroom and knocks gently on the doorframe, shuffling in after hearing your "come in." Wordlessly, he climbs onto the bed next to you, leaving just enough space to not distract you while also satisfying his need to be close. He places a hand on your knee, entirely self-indulgent.
You ask him what's up, eyes never leaving your papers, and he pouts at the lack of attention. A part of him knows he should feel silly for being so clingy, but another, bigger part of him is too wrapped up in his love for you to care.
He only supplies a "missed you," casually shrugging his shoulders like it's the simplest thing in the world. You bite your lip, trying (and failing) to hold back a smile. Cute. He's so cute, and you're so tired, and god, a break does sound nice...
But, you really do have to finish this.
"Missed you, too, angel." You concede, placing your hand on top of his. "Just give me a few more minutes, then I'm all yours." You offer, and he nods quickly in return, eagerly awaiting the moment where he'll have you all to himself again. Your eyes shift back to your work, continuing where you left off,
His thumb brushes along your knee, hand trailing up just slightly, and you feel your resolve crumbling. Still you make a feeble attempt to stay responsible.
"Spencer." You warn, weakly glaring at him
"What?" He feigns innocence, voice soft. "I'm not doing anything." It's a lie, you know it, and he knows you know it. As much as you'd hate to let him win, one look into his soft, lovesick eyes makes you decide that if this is what defeat entails, you guess you wouldn't really mind losing.
You sigh dramatically, pushing your books aside and opening your arms for him. His doesn't miss a beat, moving to close the gap between you almost instantly.
He falls unceremoniously into your lap, wrapping his arms around your middle and burying his face in your neck. You give in, reaching to brush your fingers through his hair. You feel his victorious smirk against your skin and roll your eyes fondly.
Your work can wait, you’re sure.
masterlist | inbox ← requests open! ♡
taglist - @lover-of-books-and-tea @maskysluvr @aurorsworld @wisteriaspencer @radioactiveinvisible @mandarinmoons @spencereidapologist @lyd14k4y @luvkatryna @khxna @flow33didontsmoke (send an ask or message to be added/removed!)
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unluckilylvcky · 5 months ago
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TMNTherapy Group: Welcome Leonardo!
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From ancient books of ninjitsu to comic books tucked neatly in the shelves, who better to confide in than the Leonardos? After all, the greatest honor a ninja could ever have is a nice cup of tea! Leonardo made sure that his comrades would feel right at home!
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What is TMNTherapy Group about?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Therapy Group, or simply abbreviated to TMNTherapy Group or TMNT Group, is a fun little comic featuring your favorite turtles from all current running cartoon iterations joining together to, well... Get therapy! Or at least, that's what the turtles from the 1987 universe say. In OOC terms, yes, this is basically a crossover au.
Currently, the AU has 5 introduction comics (including this one), 1 filler comic and many more fun and angsty comics to come! Join the '87 verse turtles as they try their best to unite these 3 VERY different turtle iterations with each other! It's gonna be an... Interesting ride, to say the least. Stay tuned!
DO NOTE THAT :
This AU is strictly for fun and is only meant to explore the dynamic of each turtle iterations with each other! Nothing more, nothing less, just all 4 generations of turtles either venting to each other or having fun. None of this is meant to be reflective of real life scenarios, anything of the latter is completely unintentional.
You're gonna notice a watermark on most of these panels, and I can assure you that that is me; my old user! I unfortunately do not have the original files to these, nor do I have the time to redraw these to my current style. I'm pretty sure I stopped watermarking it with my old user after the Raph group intro :]
This was posted on Instagram during October 15th of last year!
Thought I should mention: The lineart quality for this AU is LARGELY inconsistent. I really just wanna have fun with this au so sometimes you're gonna see some clean and cool lineart, but mostly you're gonna have to deal with my sketchy lineart like in this comic haha
Seeing as Instagram is my main platform, you'll have to keep in mind that this format was made with the square format in mind. Stick with me here hehe :^))
Gonna start introducing Bonus Comics! These are just short disconnected comics that I usually include out of a whim. Just click on Keep Reading and you should see it! This will be the only time I'll mention these on the notes section.
<<< Previous: Teenage Mutant Ninja... Therapy Group?!
Next Up: TMNTherapy Group: Welcome Raphael! >>>
Bonus Comic:
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withleeknow · 7 months ago
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how he would take care of you during shark week. ⤷ chan / minho / changbin / hyunjin / jisung / felix / seungmin / jeongin
pairing: jisung x f!reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, mentions of periods bc duhhh erhm note: ok so i'm REALLY not sure what this is lmao but i switched up entirely compared to the first installation (with minho) and i think this is the format i'll be sticking with for the rest of the members. i'm still just experimenting and trying to figure how i want to approach doing drabbles/drabble series like this so pls bear with me a little for now lol
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
main masterlist / blurb masterlist / ko-fi
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jisung, who can't be trusted with even the simplest of tasks. you should've known better. (and honestly? you did know better, which probably makes the whole thing so much worse.)
jisung, whom you ask to run to the store just because you were too lazy to brave the evening chill yourself and get the shit you need.
jisung, who texts you what size pussy u wear? while he stands in the middle of the aisle, feeling like he's illiterate as he's surrounded by products of different colors and shapes and sizes and wings.
jisung, whose eyes catch a specific pink packaging with pretty flowers that makes him pull out his phone and snap you a picture. this one looks better. yours is boring, he'd text you, to which you'd replied with a dozen question marks before calling him an idiot and telling him to leave the fancy pads and hurry home with the ones you usually use.
jisung, who returns about thirty minutes later holding two large bags in his hands, which definitely contain a lot more than what you had sent him out for - just a pack of overnight pads and some sweets.
jisung, who kisses you in greeting as your eyes narrow suspiciously, then he'd proudly show off the goodies that you didn't need - an assortment of sour candies and chocolates, chips, ice cream bars, your favorite cookies, and lastly, a random purple pouch.
jisung, whose love language looks a lot like making you get diabetes whenever your time of the month rolls around.
jisung, who beams like a kid in a candy store when you ask him about the pouch with a brow raised. "look!" he'd beam, holding the little thing up like it's the most magical invention he's ever come across in his entire life. "it holds your pads! and it has unicorns on it!"
jisung, who doesn't deflate at all when you tell him that you already have one, but instead, he'd tell you to ditch the one you have because it's too "boring" (re: it doesn't have unicorns.)
jisung, who volunteers to carry the pouch for you the next time you go out together, musing to himself about whether or not he should add a little strap so he could wear it like a crossbody bag, not even batting an eye when you stare at him and gape in disbelief.
jisung, who really uses your shark week as an excuse to buy dumb shit for himself and stuff you full of treats.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 25.04.2024]
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fairuzfan · 1 year ago
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im trying to ask all different kids of accounts bc i can't get one solid answer - how would u specifically define zionist? do you think the people who are currently israelis (and are not west bank settlers, may they all be tried for their crimes) should be able to live in a decolonized palestine?
I had to take a couple of days mostly because I was trying to find a single concise answer for you in a citation. Before I give you a definition of a Zionist, I must first describe what Zionism and it's implications are. Here is Ismail Zayid's "Zionism, the myth and the reality" (click).
The very first couple of paragraphs of the book, he says:
Zionism, as a modern political creed, grew in close association with three interacting major forces which exercised a profound influence on the character and nature of the Zionist movement, resulting in three basic qualities characterizing this movement, namely: settler colonialism, expansionism and racism.
The first of the three major forces was the growth, in the nineteenth century, of European colonialism and imperialism and the expansion of the colonial settler regimes. The alliance made between Zionism and European colonialism is clearly attested to by both sides, identifying reciprocal benefits in the alliance. Herzl, in his "Der Judenstat," expressed clearly both the racist nature of Zionism as well as its role as a settler colonial outpost: "We should, there, form a portion of the rampart of Europe against Asia, an outpost of civilization as opposed to barbarism. We should, as a neutral state, remain in contact with all Europe, which would have to guarantee our existence."
There's more in the book that I can't type up lol, but in essence a Zionist subscribes to the idea of Zionism itself, and insists on the establishment of a settler colonial entity whether passively or actively.
Zionism is a settler colonialist movement, as stated by the founder of the movement for Zionism, Theodore Herzel (quoted above in the smalltext). It modeled itself after much of the European colonialist strategies, enforcing borders and nationalities on a previously border-lose world. I mention the making of borders as a fundamental part of colonialism because by rejection of those borders as a concept, we start to imagine the world in a post-colonial universe. Sherene Seikaly makes this point in her book "Men of Capital" in the introductory chapter:
But in such a search, it is almost inevitable that nationalism—its “lack,” its “strength,” or its “weakness”—will stand as a metonym for politics. In some renditions, the weakness of normative nationalism—a “political deficiency” and a lack of a national “spirit”—resulted in, as the leading historian of collaboration continues to argue, the catastrophe of 1948. In response, scholars have documented a national project among the Palestinians. This work is invaluable and has shifted the terms of debate as well as our understanding of the social and cultural geography of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries in Palestine. However, to continue reveling in the marriage between national consciousness and politics reifies colonial epistemologies. Moving beyond nationalism as both the means and ends of politics is long overdue. Certainly, nationalism was one aspect of subjectivity formation, but it was not the only way to make politics. What I seek to destabilize here is not whether Palestinians were sufficiently national, but to ask why that sufficiency and/or its lack continues to be the measuring stick for whether people can remain on the land they resided on for centuries. Must people’s investment in the random and shifting borders that imperial and colonial officials drew determine their status? Are there other ways to think about politics outside, beside, underneath, and alongside this national prism?
I've said this multiple times before on this blog in different ways, but I'll state outright: I reject the notion of nationalism as a way for us to authenticate Palestinians' claim to the land they've lived on for centuries, as Seikaly mentions. Zionism's core goal is the establishment of such borders is aligned with European colonialism's core goals: division of the world so that they may categorize itself within the world's hierarchy.
Now, the core saying in the Free Palestine movement you often hear is "From the River to the Sea." This, basically, is a rejection of the establishment of those borders as a necessity for the Palestinians to be recognized. Zionism relies on border-making for it to be an actual thing. Without borders, Zionism would not exist. Which is why the "Balfour Declaration," that had essentially districted and redistributed Palestine is often referenced by both Zionists and antiZionists. Balfour, a well known racist and antisemite, had advocated for the establishment of a "Jewish State" not because he really cared what happened to either party — but specifically so that he could get the Jewish people of Europe.... out of Europe.
Seikaly mentions this in "Men of Capital":
However, we should qualify its meaning to get at the specific condition of Palestinian invisibility in colonial epistemologies. Zionists of the late nineteenth century did not imagine that there were no people on the land of Palestine, but rather that they were not a people. Theodor Herzl described a set of caricatures that inhabited what he called the land of Israel: the wealthy effendis who could be had for a price and the remaining impoverished peasants who could be smoothly removed without incident. These people were a motley crew without anything defining or unifying them. Zionists from various political leanings did not share Herzl’s confidence that the people who lived in Palestine would not be attached enough to its land to resist their displacement.  However, the Zionist emphasis on the lack of a politically coherent and distinct people in Palestine who deserved to make claims to the land on which they had resided for hundreds of years would continue apace. The caricatures of the effendi and the peasant, as well as the depiction of the Palestinians as insufficiently rooted, continue to have currency. In the meantime, Zionists were hard at work shaping a cohesive settlement community around a new ethno-national understanding of what it meant to be Jewish. They called themselves the Yishuv. Zionism promised Jews who had suffered religious, political, and racial persecution for centuries in Europe that they could finally become European but only by leaving Europe. Anti-Semitism and Zionism had one thing in common: the belief that Jews could never assimilate in Europe. The process of becoming European by realizing a settler colony would be an abundant source of persecution: For the Palestinians it entails ongoing erasure; for the eastern (Mizrahi) Jews who did not fit the Ashkenazi (European) mold, it has meant decades of marginalization; and for the Ashkenazi, it required killing centuries of tradition, language, and culture to fit the template of the new Jew.
So now you know that Zionism is, at it's core the establishment of borders to reinforce itself as a colonialist entity — thereby enforcing a separation between the colonized and the colonizer that can seem material, but is, in fact, immaterial. Zionists are people who ascribe to the ideology that a Settler Colonial "Jewish State" must exist, and that its establishment is necessary for whatever reason, thereby enacting those borders and displacing the indigenous populations. But what does a post-colonialist society look like if we no longer have these regional borders and nationalism as we've come to understand it?
Palestinians argue for the Right to Return to their homes. I have family members that cannot see the places they were born in because they were kicked out and not allowed to return. I think, for these people especially, it's only natural that they be allowed to return.
You ask if people who are currently live in Israel should be able to live in a decolonized Palestine. Short answer: yes. Of course. There is no reason to reject these people who are willing to live in a decolonized Palestine.
Long answer: still yes but I'm going to re contextualize it a little.
We've established that a decolonized Palestine is one in which borders are irrelevant, as is the current version of nationalism, and no need for categorization. In a decolonized Palestine, as long as you are not a perpetrator of a "crime" (I put that in quotations because of the current colonial implications, but I lack a better word for it) that makes you — and not your grandparent/parent — directly responsible for colonization — like as you mention, settlers who violently expelled Palestinians — and willing to participate in a Palestinian society in which there is equality of all peoples regardless of race, ethnicity, economic status, or religion, then it is possible to become Palestinian.
Israelis are all, to a certain extent, culpable in colonization. There are antiZionist Israelis, but nevertheless, it doesn't change the fact that they are settled on land that was acquired violently. Of course, the same can be said for many USAmericans. To a certain extent, I am a settler in Turtle Island despite being a refugee. I willingly participate in a colony, whether I actually agree with it or not.
I think from hereon, to live in Decolonized Palestine as well as a Decolonized Turtle Island, we must make the reparations necessary to the communities who have suffered systematic violence at the hands of the colonial entity to truly live in a post-colonial world. You might be asking how I think that's going to be conducted — I am not sure. But what I do know is that living without borders — or in other words living without colonialist labels and all sorts hierarchies that arise — will require a reframing of the understanding of our world as well as how we interact with each other in it.
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queenimmadolla · 2 years ago
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𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃
(dad!eddie x mom/pregnant!reader)
*NOT Mature, SFW — incorrectly flagged
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 • more of the pennyverse here.
Summary: . . . After almost losing you in a scare related to your preterm labor, Eddie is reluctant to meet his newborn son, whose life still remains on the line, until some convincing from you. warnings: angst, a whole lot of angst, near death experience, difficult pregnancy, early labor, preterm birth, talk of loss of infants, birth defects, happy ending.
a/n: congrats on making it to part two! we still have quite a bit of angst to get through but we're almost through the storm! this part (even though i wrote Wayne's World as a whole) was my favorite to write, and i'm sure you'll be able to guess why. word count is 6k. good luck and happy reading! and for the people mad about the long post, sorry, had the 'keep reading' tab on but it kept fucking with the format and eating chunks of it. you're gonna have to scroll. let me know what you think? ◡̈
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Hours passed by, Penny had fallen asleep in his lap again and so had most of his friends with the exceptions of Jonathan who looked like he could really use the sleep, Eden and Wayne. Steve would snap awake every once and a while, careful not to jostle his sleeping girlfriend. Nancy was asleep on Jonathan’s shoulder while Argyle used Eden’s lap for a pillow. Barb and Robin were hanging off chairs in the most uncomfortable looking positions, Robin’s snores almost painful sounding. The ‘kids’ (teenagers) had been picked up by their parents, only agreeing to go home if they could come back to wait with him first thing in the morning. 
  Eddie didn’t rest for a single second, mind torturing him with horrible, horrible thoughts. One played in his mind on loop; he was holding Penny as he walked out of the hospital. They were on their own.
  It held him captive, he hadn’t even noticed your doctor approaching him until she gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
  “Mr. Munson?”
  Wayne and Eddie traded quick glances and he handed Penny over, trying not to disturb her too much in his rush but she just curled up to Wayne.
  Eddie stood up, already feeling lightheaded. That voice in his head that had been torturing him whispered something cruel to him, enough to make him want to cease existing: maybe you, somewhere in this hospital, already gone and he didn’t know it. Was she about to confirm his worst fears?
  “I apologize for the fright we gave you. Your wife started hemorrhaging and she lost a lot of blood.”
  Yeah. Eddie’s world was ending. It was over.
  “But we were able to stop the bleeding and get her a transfusion. She’s stable and she’s going to be just fine.”
  The relief was almost crippling, the heaviest weight he’d ever felt on him was lifted. Eddie wanted to cry, he squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to compose himself before he broke down in front of another doctor.
  “We have her in a room, probably hold her for a couple of nights, depending on her recovery. Would you like to go see her?”
  “Yeah, yes, please.” He nodded rapidly, wiping furiously at his eyes. 
  Dr. Eisenberg nodded and began walking down the hall, “If you’ll follow me.”
  Eddie turned, ready to ask Wayne to look after Penny when Wayne cut him off, “Go. I'll let ‘em all know she’s okay and send ‘em home. They probably won’t be able to see her tonight or in the mornin’, but I’ll stick around. Let me know when I can come on up.”
  Eddie wanted to hug him, but he really needed to see you. 
  “Thank you, Wayne. For everything.” Then he was scrambling after Dr. Eisenberg, who had stopped to wait for him.
  The walk to your hospital room had Eddie ready to tear his hair out, he’d wanted to just ask your doctor for your room number so he could sprint the rest of the way because her pace was much too slow. He was desperate to get to you, to make sure you were really still alive.
  “Here we are,” she stated, pushing your room door open. “Hello, again, Mrs. Munson. I brought someone who’s been waiting for you.”
  Eddie’s breath hitched as Dr. Eisenberg stepped to the side and he finally saw you, eyelids heavy from whatever sedation you were still trying to pull yourself from, and a smile on your face that only widened when you locked eyes. 
  “Hi, baby,” you slurred, sleepy little smile not going anywhere. And neither were you. 
  The rush of emotions he was experiencing was too much, he burst into tears where he stood as Dr. Eisenberg closed the door behind her on her way out. 
  “Eddie…” you mumbled out, reaching the hand lacking an IV out to him. 
  Of course you were trying to comfort him, you were the one confined to a hospital bed, having just barely survived a traumatic birth and you were still trying to comfort him because you were perfect. 
  He slowly approached your bed, hot tears—he was surprised his body could even still produce more tears given how much he’d cried in the last few hours alone—streaming down his cheek. Eddie really did collapse when he reached you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
  You wrapped your arms around him, holding him to your chest as best as you could, though you had no idea why he was crying, brain too hazy.
  Eddie didn’t sob, just silently shook as he wet your neck, inhaled your scent, felt your warm skin and pulse beating beneath his lips. He hadn’t lost you, you were still here.
  Ideally, he’d be holding you and squeezing you hard enough to ensure you’d never leave his arms again, but even in his emotional hysteria, he was mindful of your condition.
  Eddie pulled away, large hands framing your face as he pressed desperate kisses all over your face, making sure every inch was caressed with his love before he focused on your lips, mouth meshing messily against yours.
  You could taste the salt of his tears, feel a couple of stray ones catching where your lips met. While he may have been feeling a mixture of emotions, all you could feel right then was content and still a bit sleepy from the anesthesia.
  When Eddie felt he’d conveyed his love for you sufficiently, he pulled away, a wet and hoarse chuckle escaping him when he realized you could barely keep your eyes open.
  “You sleepy, baby?”
  “Mhmm.”
  “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Eddie’s thumb stroked over your bottom lip before resting over the center of it, “just, please wake up.”
  “Okay,” you mumbled, eyes already shut. Still, you managed to press a kiss to his thumb before you slipped into a blissful slumber.
  While you slept, Eddie had one of the nurses phone up the waiting room and sent Wayne. The poor man looked exhausted, but the relief on his face was evident when he saw you sleeping peacefully. 
   He looked like he wanted to cry, too. Instead, he just cleared his throat, blinked to keep the tears away and spoke low so as to not disturb you or the sleeping toddler in his arms.
  “Everythin’ alright?”
  “With her?” Eddie’s red rimmed gaze drifted back to you, focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Still breathing, “Yeah.”
  Wayne nodded once and they both stood there in silence for a few minutes as the world began to turn again. Something still wasn’t right, felt wrong. He could tell by the tension his boy still had, arms crossed as he crouched in the seat next to your bed. 
  “And the baby?”
  Eddie flinched as if Wayne had shot a gun off in the air rather than mention his son.
  “I don’t know.”
  Wayne watched him with a careful eye, Eddie looked almost like he was vibrating from the force at which his leg was shaking, even your hospital bed appeared to be affected by it, though not nearly enough to disturb you.
  As much as he wanted to comfort him, for once, Wayne didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say and he had an inkling that anything that came out of his mouth wouldn’t be heard by Eddie. He was lost in the dark crevices of his own mind. 
  The most he could do was offer to give him some alone time, he was sure his boy wasn’t keen on others sticking around right now, even him. 
  “I’ll take Penny home, me and Maude’ll watch her.” 
  Eddie shook his head, a look of panic flashing over his face, “No, that’s alright. She can stay with me.”
  Wayne was reluctant, mouth set in a frown. Penny was a good girl, usually, but he didn’t know if Eddie could really handle her along with processing everything going on around him.
  “Really, we wouldn’t mind─”
  “I need her.” 
  That shut Wayne right up, he and Eddie shuffled to exchange Penny from his arms to her dad’s without waking her. She stirred momentarily then shoved her face into Eddie’s neck, her little body falling slack once more.
  Wayne gave his shoulder a good squeeze, ran his hand gently over Penny’s back before he leaned down—and in a rare show of affection—pressed a brief kiss to your forehead.
  As he was walking out of the room, Eddie felt the panic crawling down his throat again. He croaked out a broken, “Wayne─”
  Wayne paused in the doorway, turning to acknowledge Eddie but his nephew didn’t continue, just looked scared. For a moment, Wayne was caught off guard, sucking in a breath as his boy looked young for the first time in a couple of years. 
  Now, he knew you and Eddie were young. He’d been aware of it when you got together, aware of it when you told him you were pregnant with Penny but sometime after that, he stopped seeing your age, stopped seeing Eddie’s as the two of you grew up for her. Now, right then, he remembered with startling clarity that Eddie wasn’t even twenty-five. He looked so young because he was.
  Eddie didn’t have to say anything else because Wayne knew exactly what he wanted him to say.
  Wayne nodded slowly, mouth pressing into a firm line of determination, “Everything’s gonna be alright, kid.”
  Eddie choked up, held Penny a little tighter and Wayne went on his way.
  He found himself settling back into the seat he’d dragged near your bed, cradling Penny as she remained blissfully unaware and drooling on his scrub top.
  Wayne wasn’t wrong, she’d probably be a little too much for him but she was his kid, it wasn't like he could just hand her off to people when life came at him like this and he really did need her right now. Again.
  You were here and whole, but somewhere else in this hospital, a member of his little family was still slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t let the other one out of his sight, couldn’t lose her, too.
  Once more, Eddie remained restless as the hours passed. He sat in mostly silence. He’d turned on the tv near your bed, the volume high enough to drown out the sounds of the hospital outside of the room but much too low to wake you. Rain trilled against the windows, much more gentle than it had been earlier. The storm had also passed, and if there was even an ounce of humor in him, he would have been amused with how this storm seemed to fester like a black cloud looming over him. 
  It’d been a normal day up until he’d gone to Lucas’ birthday party, but he’d been skeptical about leaving you, worried something would happen. The metaphorical little black cloud formed over him, as a result, and so did the actual black clouds, quickly calling for wind and rain at high speeds. 
  And when Eddie had found out you were okay, you were alive, his black cloud disappeared, though it left behind damage and a cold atmosphere. The real storm had also run its course, leaving behind weather that reflected exactly how Eddie felt.
  Penny squirmed in his grasp, and he realized he’d tensed up so he quickly relaxed, shifting her into a more comfortable position in his hold. 
  “Why don’t you give her to me?”
  Eddie’s head snapped over to you, surprised to find you awake, somewhat lucid and watching him with a small smile on your face.
  “Because you just had your insides removed and put back in,” He smirked, another wave of relief washing over him. You’d woken up, you really were okay. You weren’t going to leave him.
  You rolled your eyes, making a vague hand gesture to brush the subject off, clearly the surgeons hadn’t removed your sass.
  “She’s tiny and there’s more than enough room on here for both of us.” You hissed as you slowly shimmied your way to the side of the bed and Eddie frowned.
  “Okay, how about you don’t move so we can limit the amount of heart attacks you give me today, yeah?” You knew Eddie must have been worried so you didn’t take the lack of humor behind his words and the tension on his face personally. 
  A quick glance at the clock confirmed your suspicions, “It’s three in the morning, Eddie. New day, but I’ll keep my antics to a minimum.”
  Insistently, you patted the spot next to you, perfectly Penny sized and high enough to guarantee she wouldn’t accidentally move against your incision.
  With a sigh, Eddie complied, gathering his daughter up. Tensing up disturbed her but full on moving her didn’t, most likely used to being carried into your home after she’d fallen asleep in her car seat or on the couch.
  She didn’t stir when he laid her down, either. You both had to rearrange her limbs into a more comfortable position, one that didn’t make it look like she was possessed. Once Eddie tucked her in, he let out another sigh and cast you an apologetic look, big brown eyes wide, glassy and full of sorrow.
  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” It was the last thing you deserved after what you’d gone through.
  The sincerity in his voice almost hurt you, it was heavy, as though it carried more weight than just a simple apology for his tone. 
  You held out your hand and Eddie immediately slipped his over it, locking his fingers with yours, squeezing as his breath hitched. 
  Your hand was so warm and soft. At one point in the last twenty-four hours, he’d thought he’d never get to feel it again, never get to hold your hand or see your pretty face. Never get to say…
  “I love you,” he blurted out, the panic he’d felt earlier when he couldn’t remember the last time he’d said those three words to you climbed right out of his belly, trying to claw its way out of his chest. Eddie took in a shuddering breath, head shaking as a hot tear escaped its confinement, trailing down his cheek. He moved to the other side of the hospital bed, so he wouldn’t crush Penny, and took your face in his hands, pressing a passionate kiss to your lips, hoping he was able to convey just how much he loved you.
  He needed you to know.
  “Eddie,” you mumbled as he pulled away, only to hide himself in the crook of your neck again. You could feel his tears against your skin and it alarmed you. “I love you, too, baby. What’s wrong?”
  “I thought I was going to lose you,” he confessed and you felt your heart seize up, “I thought I was gonna lose you twice in the same damn day. I was so fucking scared, sweetheart.” 
  When he’d been driving to the hospital, there had been a moment when he wondered if you’d still be breathing when he got there. It made him want to throw up so he quickly squashed it and forced it to the back of his head. It hadn’t been ideal when he’d entered the operation room, he didn’t like seeing you get cut open but it was comforting to see he’d overreacted. You were getting a c-section, you weren’t on your deathbed.
  Until you had been. 
  And for the second time that day, he thought you were going to die, thought he’d somehow cruelly manifested this for you and himself.
  “I’m alright, Eddie.” You freed your hand, grabbing his to cradle your cheek with. 
  “See? I’m okay. You didn’t lose me, you’re not going to.” Eddie pulls away from his hiding spot to stare down at you, the wounded puppy look still firmly in place so you add a little humor, hoping to get a smile out of him, “There’s no way I’m checking out this early, I can’t risk you moving on when you look this good.”
  Eddie’s hand was so big his fingers were tucked into your hair, his palm alone took up most of your cheek. His fingertips lightly massaged the area of your scalp available to him as the hurt on his face morphed into an earnest look, somehow more vulnerable.
  “There’s no moving on from you, you’re taking my soul, my heart, all of it with you when you go. You’re the love of my life, my everything. And that—fuck, it terrifies me because I’d still have Penny to take care of and I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to pull myself out of it, if it’d even be possible and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to fucking find out.”
  Eddie was more than happy to have those types of questions remain unanswered for the rest of his life.
  “You’d be able to do it, I know you would. You would be able to take care of Penny and the baby.” You knew he would, your husband would pull himself out of his depression to make sure your children were okay because of how much he loved them, despite his grief.
  Eddie flinched, something you were quick to clock. You didn’t need to ask, he could see the question reflecting in those beautiful eyes of yours. 
  He had to break the news. You were already in a frail condition and he had to tell you the baby you’d almost died to have, your son, might still die.
  “Honey, the baby—he—fuck, he’s uh…there’s something wrong with his heart.”
  The way your face plummeted shattered something inside of him. 
  “What?”
  “He’s got a hole in his heart, the doctor said it was pretty common amongst heart defects but since he was born so early, it’d be difficult to medicate him or perform an operation. All they can do is keep him under observation, he still might not make it because of how young he is.”
  You squeezed your eyes shut, head dropping back to meet your pillow as you tried, and failed, not to cry. Why was this happening? You blamed yourself, why hadn’t you been able to keep him in your belly? Why had your own body betrayed you? Why had you failed your baby?
  “This is all my fault,” you declared, eyes and cheeks growing wet with your tears.
  “No, no, sweetheart.” Eddie was not about to let you take the blame for something out of your control or even allow you to believe any of this was your fault. “You can’t possibly believe this is on you. These things happen, it obviously isn’t ideal, but it’s just circumstance. It’s not your fault and it’s not the baby’s fault. You did everything you could and more. Okay?”
  He leaned in, finger stroking gently across your cheekbone as he caught a tear. You sniffled, nodding once as he pulled you back together.
  “What does he look like?” You asked, snuggling back into the pillow as Eddie coddled you.
  He hesitated for a moment before he answered, “I—I don’t know.”
  That elicited a small frown from you, “You haven’t seen him yet?”
  Eddie swallowed hard, gaze moving away from you, “No.”
  You waited, watching a series of emotions pass over his features. Eddie often tried to keep his internal struggles to himself, a habit you noticed once you became friends with him (ironically, through some trauma bonding) and even into your relationship. You hadn’t expected him to confide everything in you right away, though you had let him know should he ever need someone to talk to, you’d be there.
  Now, it wasn’t a matter of if he would, it was when. It didn’t take him long. 
  “I don’t know—I guess,” he pursed his lips, eyes squeezing shut as he felt the all too familiar burn of fresh tears. How many times had he cried in the last twenty-four hours? He felt ridiculous to be so emotional, then again, he’d never thought he’d find himself in this tragic situation, so he was due for a couple of breakdowns, “I know if I go down there and I—I look at him, I’m gonna fall in love with him and then what? He dies. I can’t do that, not if I’m gonna lose him forever. I can’t.”
  Eddie was leaking tears, not yet sobbing but well on his way as he made his confession. He couldn’t stomach seeing his baby boy if he was going to be taken away from him, if the two of you would have to put a tiny little coffin—a size that should never have to exist—six feet into the ground. He’d been put through the fucking ringer but Eddie couldn’t do that. It would break him.
  Eddie’s confession had you crying as well, you shared his pain. You didn’t want to lose your baby, either. You couldn’t remember what he looked like through the haze of your fatigue when you’d given birth to him, but if you tried to think hard enough, you could remember how it felt to have him in your arms in the passenger seat of Wayne’s truck. The first time you’d held him and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 
  Even if it was, you were grateful you’d had the chance to and you knew Eddie would never forgive himself if he didn’t get to see him, didn’t get to meet him.
  “I know you’re terrified, Eds. It scares me, too.” You grabbed his hand just as it slipped away from your face, encouraging him to look at you. “I don’t want to lose him, either. I want to take him home. I want to cuddle with him, nurse him, take tons of pictures of him with Penny and with you, but most of all, I want to make sure he knows I love him.”
  It killed you to imagine your baby in an incubator, small, helpless and with no one but the nurses, who could make the time to check on him in between all their other patients, offering him comfort. Human contact. And if he did end up passing, he could do so alone in there, not knowing how loved he was. 
  “I know you love him, Eddie, and you don’t want to lose him. But you can’t lose him if you don’t have him, baby. I hate that this is even a possibility for us, but I’d rather have held him and lost him than to never have picked him up at all. I’ll be okay with whatever you decide, but do you really want him to die without having gotten to meet his dad?”
  Eddie let out a choked sob as he shook his head. He didn’t want his baby to die at all but you were right, if he did lose his kid, he’d spend the rest of his life agonizing over the same thing Eddie had been upset with himself for when he thought he’d lose you. He’d been unable to recall the last time he told you he loved you. Only, he’d know he never told his son. 
  “I’ll be right back,” he swore and you nodded just as he leaned down to give you a kiss. He wiped away his tears, inhaled a particularly violent sniffle and you watched as he left your room to finally meet his baby.
  Eddie felt almost disorientated as he navigated his way to the NICU. He’d been there once, briefly, to check on Penny when she’d been there for a few hours, but that was a couple of years ago and he’d needed the assistance of several nurses and staff to direct him, but he finally made it.
  The entrance room, where the viewing window was located, was nearly empty. There was a woman further down, gazing through the large window.
  Eddie approached it with caution and his heart racing a mile a minute. It wasn’t too difficult to find his baby. His son was in an incubator, close to the window and labeled ‘MUNSON’. For the first time, Eddie got to take his son in. He had been right, he fell in love with him at first sight.
  He was smaller than some of the other babies, bigger than others as well and surprisingly well developed. Kind of calmed Eddie’s nerves, just a little. He had a couple of monitor pads attached to his tummy with an additional one wrapped around his tiny foot. Other than the nasal cannula, baby Munson didn’t have a whole lot of tubes attached to him like Eddie had imagined and he could see a smattering of hair on his head, somewhat light in shade but he had a feeling it would darken soon to resemble his own. 
  It was hard to tell if Wayne and Penny were right in their description of him, Eddie couldn’t tell if he was still pale since the baby was cloaked in blue light, but he assumed his son had gained some color by then. Eddie also couldn’t make out his eyes, those were covered by some sort of eye cloth, most likely for protection. He looked a little odd, obviously resembled a baby and while his features were almost indistinguishable, appearing a little generic, as his face still needed to develop a little more, Eddie could see hints of familiar features. 
  He looked like newborn Penny, well, so far. Her features had obviously changed since then, and still were, but he was promising to look almost exactly like she had when she was born. And Eddie thought Penny looked a lot like you, so it got a smile out of him, regardless of the fact his son was bound to resemble his family.
  Eddie watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest with concern. Was he supposed to be breathing that fast? Was he okay? 
  “Which one is yours?”
  Eddie turned to peer over at the woman who’d asked him the question, “Munson.”
  Eddie watched as her gaze moved over all the incubators until they found the correct one.
  “Oh, he’s a cute one. And his breathing looks incredible.”
  “Really? It’s not too fast?” He asked, the worry in his voice obvious.
  “Considering it’s his first time pumping those lungs, I don’t think so, no. Looks like he’s breathing real good to me. Mine needs a little help.” She pointed through the glass to an incubator that housed a baby with a tube in its mouth as well as individual ones in each nostril unlike his son’s nasal cannula. Eddie felt horrible.
  “I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize but she waved him off, a smile still on her face. 
  “Don’t be, that’s all mine is here for. As soon as she figures out how to keep doing it on her own, she’ll be back with me and my wife.”
  Right on, Eddie thought. Before he could continue their conversation, a nurse knocked on the window.
  She gestured down to the baby, “Is he yours?”
  Wow, this glass must have been thin, he could hear her pretty good.
  For some reason, Eddie still assumed she couldn’t hear him and only nodded. She disappeared for a minute and emerged into the room through a large pair of doors. 
  “Would you like to hold him?”
  Eddie glanced at the other occupant and she gave him a nod of encouragement. 
  “Yeah,” he rasped out, turning to look at his son through the window once more, “Yeah, I would.”
  Eddie was nervous the entire time as she prepped him with instructions. While they were concerned about the hole in his son’s heart, he was well developed, had strong vitals, good reactions, even for thirty weeks. He was so good that had it not been for his heart, he probably would have been sent home at the same time as you, given your longer than average stay due to your c-section and preeclampsia.
  And when she placed him in his arms, the love he had for his son almost overwhelmed him. He couldn’t believe he almost denied himself this. 
  “Can I touch him?” He asked, after he’d stopped marveling at the small face—eyes still hidden—in his arms. 
  “Mhm, we’d encourage it. Babies, even born preterm, are still very much so human. He craves the contact, it might even encourage him.” 
  Eddie didn’t hesitate, fingers gently stroking over the soft fluff of hair on his son’s head. This close, he could see it all pushed towards the middle of his head, like a mohawk. His baby was already metal straight out of your womb, it made him chuckle. 
  The nurse stepped away to tend to another baby, giving him a little privacy. Eddie maneuvered his son so he was resting on his chest, little head pressed against the spot just over his heart.
  “Hi,” he whispered down to the baby in his arms, “I’m your dad.”
  Much to Eddie’s awe, the baby nuzzled his head against his chest, making him still. He didn’t know why, but he’d believed his son wouldn’t be able to move for some reason. It was nice to know he was wrong.
  “It’s nice to finally meet you, too,” he laughed, the sound soft, “I’ve been looking forward to it, you must have, too. You sure know how to make an entrance, huh? Couldn’t wait in your mom any longer?”
  Eddie ducked down to kiss his little head, lips remaining there as he moved to sit in one of the few chairs of the NICU. 
  “It’s okay, though. I’ve got you, daddy’s got you.” Even if the outcome wasn’t okay, right at that moment with his son in his arms, everything felt like it would be. And if his son needed encouragement, Eddie would give it to him. 
  “I’m sorry it took me so long to come find you, your mom had to talk some sense into me. She loves you a lot, you know? Probably jealous I’m down here and she isn’t, but only because she physically can’t just yet.”
  Eddie’s hand went to support the back of his head as he moved the baby down to hold in his hands, staring down at his little face. 
  “I’ll bring her down to see you again as soon as I can, though. So you gotta keep fighting, okay? I know things are hard for you right now, not as easy as the other babies in the hospital, but I know you can do it. I love you so much, your mom and I just want to take you home, so you gotta beat this, okay?”
  Eddie rocked his baby, gentle swaying motions as he pressed kiss after kiss to his head. 
  “I see you’ve made it down for a visit,”
  Eddie glanced up at the face of Dr. Houseman, she didn’t look as intimidating as she had when she’d first approached him in the waiting room.
  “Sorry to disturb you, but I’m very glad I caught you. I heard your wife is doing well.”
  “She is,” he confirmed, with a relieved grin. 
  “Good, I’m glad. Have you been given an update on your little guy?”
  Eddie recounted what the nurse had told him and Dr. Houseman looked pleased.
  “Well, I have more news for you. He’s proving to be much stronger than we’d initially anticipated, and while his vitals were already good on intake, they’ve improved tremendously in the last few hours and so have his responses. I think he’s figuring out what he’s capable of doing; how to breathe, how to move, how to eat—we introduced him to a rubber nipple to check his latch response and it’s good, not quite there yet, we’ll have to get creative with his feedings but I think he’ll be able to latch onto his mom soon.”
  She must have caught the way Eddie perked up at her use of the word soon. That meant his baby had a fighting chance.
  “These first few hours after a birth such as his and with his condition are crucial. While he’s still significantly weaker than an average full term newborn, your baby seems to be a fighter.  Should he survive this next night, I believe he’ll make it. He’d just need some time in here while the hole closes up, but it just might not be too much for him.”
  She left him with that news and a parting smile.
  Eddie held his son for a few more minutes before a nurse returned to put him back in his incubator. He hadn’t wanted to leave him, but he’d promised him he’d be back.
  When Eddie got back to the room, his heart was a little lighter and he was able to smile when he saw you giving Penny, who was now wide awake, kisses. He pressed his back up against the door and watched for a few moments as you leaned in and gave her a loud kiss. She’d go into a fit of giggles before demanding another with an again!
  “Daddy!” Penny beamed the moment she saw him and Eddie grinned as he made his way over, lifting her into his arms when she held hers up to him.
  “Hi, pretty one. You sleep good?” 
  “Uh-huh,” it was clear she was distracted and didn’t care about his questions, no, she had some of her own. “You see my baby?”
  Eddie raised an eyebrow, trading an amused look with you.
  “Oh, he’s your baby now?”
  “Ya, he’s—he’s my baby.” She nodded with a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned down to press his forehead to hers.
  “Well, then yes. I saw your baby,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her nose.
  “Wha’helooklike?” Penny blurted out, eyes wide as she waited for his reply. 
  “He looked a lot like you.” 
  “Nooooooo,” Penny laughed, shaking her head against her dad’s, “He is my potatoes, not anoda Penny.”
  “It’s true!” Eddie laughed with her as he put her back down by your side and leaned in to give you yet another—he’d never stop giving them to you—kiss.
  “He looks like her?” You asked, after you’d returned his kiss.
  “Mhm,” Eddie fell back into the seat he’d occupied hours earlier. “Looks like she did when she was a newborn. He’s not pale—like a potato,” he directed that part to Penny who just laughed into her little hands, “anymore, at least. I don’t know whose eyes he has, they were covered.”
  Eddie was right about you being jealous, you were practically green with it. 
  “I wish I could see him,” you stated sadly, frown on your lips. You knew, realistically, if he started to decline, they’d most likely let you out of bed to see him or bring him up to you, but still. You’d rather it not come to that.
  “Ran into his doctor while I was there, she said he’s got a better chance.”
  Your eyes lit up, “Really?”
  “I was just about ready to kiss her.” He nodded and you made a face, nose doing that adorable scrunch he loved so much.
  “Okay, well, don’t do that.”
  Eddie snickered, “It was a figure of speech, baby.”
  “I know, I’m just saying it on her behalf,”
  “On her behalf?” Eddie pouted, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
  “Yeah, I want to kiss her, too, but—uhm, Eds, you might need some sleep ‘cause—you’re hot, you really are, but you also look insane right now.”
  Eddie got up to make his way to the bathroom so he could see himself in the mirror, nearly jumping once he’d turned on the lights.
  His eyes were beyond bloodshot, his eye bags were dark and very apparent, his skin had an interesting almost gray like tinge to it and his hair was a wreck. Eddie looked like he belonged in a psych ward.
  “Jesus,” he shouted loud enough to be heard by you.
  “It’s okay, Eds. You’re still beautiful to me!”
  Eddie did end up sleeping. Turns out the chair he’d been sitting on was also a pull out bed. You insisted that he get some rest, and while he did, you changed Penny’s diaper and got some hospital room service for the two of you, you’d even picked something out on the menu for Eddie to eat once he woke up. 
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islandofsages · 10 months ago
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Hey ! Can I ask for the Diasomnia boys reacting to a male!Ignihyde!reader who join the gargoyle club (idk if it's name) ?
Like, the reader is really just interest in the gargoyles, and isn't scare of Malleus (or anyone, really. Man is too tired for being scare.)
Ignore it if you don't want to write it.
Have a good day/night ! And happy new year too.
characters: diasomnia boys x male ignihyde reader
tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format; mentions of malleus in literally everything, lilia being a dad
warnings: none
author's notes: reader is so idgaf energy i love it. also i just remembered the small font feature exists LMAO do tell me if it's too small, i'll change it back to the original size!! if not, i'll change my previous posts to the smaller font. also you have a good day/night too anon ! and happy new year :D
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Malleus Draconia
Oh? You want to join the Gargoyle Studies Club? You’re being serious? Oh!
Words cannot describe how happy he is about a fellow gargoyle appreciator though his expression doesn’t really show that
And to think you see him as just another dude… such honor was bestowed upon him…!
He’ll excitedly bring you to every gargoyle he’s found on campus and infodump about them - and you’d write them down somewhere if you’re in the mood
Sometimes you’d find new gargoyles and bring him to them and you start to do likewise
Even outside of club activities you two geek out about gargoyles at times which has earned you two the title of nerds
“Have I told you about the time I’ve met talking gargoyles? I never thought I would see such a day…”
Gargoyles aside, he has times where he confides his personal daily life in you and in turn, he’ll ask you what’s it like being in Ignihyde, etc
After being around each other so much, it feels weird when you guys aren’t together - some people would ask where Malleus is whenever you’re on your own, and vice versa
People found it weird how close an Ignihyde student is to someone from a different dorm too and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or not
But in a sense, Malleus really is your other nerdy half.
Sebek Zigvolt
You?????? Join the club where Malleus is president and is the only member of?????????
“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE WORTHY OF JOINING SUCH A CLUB?”
Well, for one, the fact that you’re unfazed by his constant yelling and therefore probably too tired to be fazed by anything, consequently making you the perfect companion to Malleus because you wouldn’t react inappropriately to Malleus’ conduct
And that you actually are interested in gargoyles. That too. You tell all this to him
He clutches his head with one hand, debating your logic. You don’t know how and why but he accepts your argument
That doesn’t stop him from monitoring you two’s activities from afar but, again, you couldn’t care less. A sixteen year old’s fanatics is just part of the growing process
Outside of club activities, he interrogates you on what you’ve discussed with Malleus and you just tell him the truth: gargoyles
At some point, he gets so engrossed in your infodump about gargoyles his eyes shine with a new light
Of course, he mentions something about Malleus obviously liking something so interesting and befitting of his status - but he also thanks you for enlightening him on the topic and that he’ll go to you for more information if need be
You’ve converted him. You sometimes see him clutching a book about gargoyles around the school. It’s filled with notes sticking out of the pages. And a portion of that sometimes he’ll run to you to confirm about a fact or two
Maybe it’s safe to say you two are kind of friends now.
Silver
He doesn’t think too much of it other than being glad that Malleus finally has a fellow gargoyle fan he can geek out with
He’d see you and Malleus chatting it up around campus and he can’t stop the tender smile on his face from making an appearance
Sometimes he himself will try to strike up a conversation with you and gargoyle geek aside, he finds that you’re just a pleasant person to talk to and be around
He admits he’s not too close with any of the folks from Ignihyde aside for the Shroud brothers but you brush him off by saying that nobody is really
He also admires how you don’t really let anything get to you. Again, you shrug it off by half-joking that you’re too tired to be scared by anything at this point
He somewhat empathizes with you on that point, grieving over his narcoleptic tendencies with a heavy sigh
You try your best to cheer him up or if you have experience with such things, you give him advice on how to manage it
You then jest that he can tag along with you and Malleus’ club activities whenever he’s free if he wants. The more, the merrier, right?
He ponders it for a minute and nods. You didn’t think he’d actually accept the offer
“I don’t see a reason to refuse. Sebek and I have accompanied Malleus on his trips before. I’m sure this time around will be more fun with you here.”
And so you all do. You all have a royal time together - and the joy on Silver’s face is especially princely.
Lilia Vanrouge
He sheds (crocodile) tears at the thought of Malleus finally having an additional member in his one-man club more friends
Since you’re chill about it, he is too! As long as you get along with Malleus, everything will be fine and dandy
If anything, he’s a bit impressed by how it takes more than the average amount to gain a reaction out of you 
…and a bit concerned. Are you sure you’re getting enough nutrients? His paternal instincts kick in when you tell him you’re too tired to have a reaction to anything
He knows that Ignihyde students are mostly shut-ins but he still advises you and makes sure you get a balanced diet
It’s like he’s adopted yet another son
“Oh, (Y/N), you really ought to take care of yourself more.”
You grow a bit annoyed at him sometimes but you know his intentions are good so you don’t protest
You do feel very loved though. You didn’t expect this much from just joining a club for a topic you’re genuinely interested in
But you have to admit it is kind of hard to come by people who aren’t intimidated by the Malleus Draconia, even if you don’t see it as anything special
What’s special, though, is the affection Lilia holds for you.
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dandp · 2 months ago
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As promised, here is the tit preshow masterdoc!
I'll do my best to keep it updated regularly. It'll probably get dicier at some times when the shows are more frequent but I'll get to everything eventually (or may also ask for help down the line if needed and if anyone would be interested, I'll see how it goes)
For now the general plan is to do questions verbatim, then generally summarize the answers. I was gonna try to do it more barebones rather than a full transcript and it landed somewhere in the middle, so there's a decent overview of what they say included here but definitely still watch the videos if you want the complete picture!
I also was debating whether to include some unrelated anecdotes/tangents/random moments/etc. to help from an archival standpoint if people are trying to look for specific moments. I can't decide if I like that or how to format it if I keep it so please give me feedback!
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afyrian · 4 months ago
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☀️🏠 + post brazil shoyo please !! any format
hope uve been good <3 waited on the event since u posted about it im so excited to see what u write
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sunburn soulmates hinata shoyo x fem!reader (fluff) synopsis: sunburn + next door neighbor word count: 720 warnings: sunburns masterlist
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   rapid knocking rattles the paintings by your front door, your apartment walls thin and weak. your eyebrows furrow curiously at the extreme noise. it takes you a few seconds, but you can recognize the rapid knocking, the heaviness of each knock attributed to one person. it has the same melody every time, even if it’s unintentional on his behalf. 
  you shake your head, smiling to yourself, wondering what your next door neighbor needed. tying the string within your shorts a little tighter, you open the front door, eyes peering at the man in front of you. there your neighbor stands, his skin a deep pink color and some tan lines around his eyes, "shoyo? what happened?"
  the obvious answer pops into your head, but with how burnt he is, it's hard to wonder how this could've happened to him, "we had some beach volleyball games today. do you think you could help me with some aloe vera?"
  "sho.. this looks terrible!" you bring your hand up to your cheek, covering some of your mouth as you shake your head, "i mean i can help, but shoyo this is absolutely terrible! and dangerous, gosh you really have to worry about this kind of stuff!"
  he waddles into your apartment, careful not to bump anything in the fear of feeling the painful sting. you purse your lips as you watch him make his way over to your couch, sitting on your floor in front of it. very rarely has he come over for help like this. however, in those few times, you still found yourselves giving it a certain routine. his legs are crossed, waiting patiently for your help.
  following him over, he hands the bottle of aloe vera to you, it nearly empty from his accidental burns. "your concerns are absolutely valid! we were just out for so long and forgot to check the time," shoyo frowns away from you, yet you feel like you can hear it in his voice. 
  even if neither of you have said it, he always feel bad whenever you worry for him. the anxiety in his heart building equally with yours, not for his own health, but for you. for the stress that he unintentionally causes within you. 
  "next time set a reminder or an alarm or something!! doctor's orders," you dump some of the aloe vera into your hand, stamping it onto his back in different places, trying to get it spaced evenly.
  "ma'am yes ma'am, i'll even call you every time i reapply just so it keeps me accountable," he looks back at you, wincing a little as his neck twists with his head, a smile still somehow making its way to his face, "if you're okay with that, that is."
  you roll your eyes to yourself, leaning forward to spread it across his back. he turns back around before he can see it, unable to see your reaction. however, he can tell that you won't say to no to him, not in a million years you'd say no to him. and he's correct, you mentally preparing yourself to take him off of do not disturb. 
  "yeah it is, you know it is sho. besides, i like having you as my neighbor. you're dependable, kind hearted," you run your hands up his neck, just barely feeling the short hairs right under his hairline. 
  goosebumps run up his back and you can see him shiver a little. the aloe vera creates a cool coating on his skin, rivaling that of the heat that the sun added to his epidermis. "you do? well then i'll have to stick around for a little while longer. plus it seems that msby black jackals is looking for players," he mentions, indicating that he wouldn't be moving back to argentina anytime soon. 
 "you'd stay for little old me?" you question, running your hands down his sides, nearly finished covering his back with aloe vera. 
  "yeah, yeah, i'd stay for little ol’ you," he turns to look at you, unaware of how close you are to him now, nearly off the couch as you lean forward. 
  you stare into his brown eyes, unable to look away from them. there's always been something about your next door neighbor that you couldn't quite escape. particularly the love that he feels for you.
a/n: i’ve been great!! thanks for this prompt, i loved it <33 and i hope i did your idea justice!
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