#this is the aforementioned something much worse btw

[iamsigningmylifeaway]

a second inextricable but rivals top-of-their-craft old men yaoi has hit the tower

[torchickentacos]

I hate it when my chronic illnesses are chronic and my disabilities are disabling and my seasonal affective disorder is seasonally affecting me

[funnyscienceman]

Ok but like WHYY did ubisoft have to insist with the one game a year thing. Why couldnt they let syndicate cook in the oven more. Why do they have THREE queer men in the same game and not do ANYTHING with them!!!

Like yes, yes, i get it, i get wanting to for once make a story in a fun setting where you dont have to think about real life prejudice and hardships and bigotry and just have characters be silly, i love that too. I do! And id be all for that if doing it just didnt waste a potentially banger study of the characters and the setting ;-;

Like god i go back and forth on this constantly. I already love syndicate as it is, i think it's fun and neat and the happy gaming vibes about it is core to its identity, it's just that simultaneous to that, three queer men in the same game!!!

like GOD im still miffed that there are only, like, two or three fics about this, and so far i havent found any discussion or anything of it, but oh my god how different all three of them are from each other. You could do so much just with having any of them in the same room — and they are often enough in the same room (jacob and either ned or roth at a time), but nothing's really done there!

we have roth who sees fcking nothing wrong with getting kids hurt, because he doesnt actually care about anyone or anything, he's just some fucking joker wannabe that yeah, sure, probably has some anger and resentment at society because he's a gay man in his 40s or 50s by now, but jesus fucking christ retaliation against homophobia does not equal rampant needless unproductive violence roth!!!

then we have ned, who — i mean he doesnt ever give his opinion on whether kids deserve any respect or anything but considering in every other department he's pretty much just Some Guy, it'd be fair to assume he also has the extremely average stance of 'dont fcking kill kids and dont blow up buildings for no good reason??' in the grand scheme of the templar-assassin stuff he has just about as much relevance as roth: roth was just the boss of the blighters, ned just finances the fryes by virtue of them working for him. He probably doesnt even know about it, and tbh i dont even know if he'd care??? But like i imagine roth doesnt care in the way of 'as long as you dont get in my way, it's all set dressing,' ned i imagine would be smth like 'are yall fckin serious? are you kidding me rn? i have to skirt around transphobes on a daily basis, now youre telling me there's a secret society on top of that with even worse ideas?? What the fuck???'

like uh, not caring about it as in 'I cant deal with this rn i need a nap'

HE'S JUST AN EXTREMELY REGULAR PERSON (besides the crime lord stuff) IS WHAT IM GETTING AT.

then there's jacob, who's the youngest out of these guys btw, fckin 21 good god he should be at the club not trying to disassemble systemic oppression— ANYWAY

(ned is 27-28 over the course of the game, btw; we dont actually have a solid timeline for anything, just the year, so tbh jacob could've also been 20 and not 21 yet during the game. both he and ned have late birthdays, just a month apart)

so, yknow, being extremely early 20-somethings, both frye twins just take a train to london completely on impulse and dive headfirst into undoing the templars that've had an iron grip over the city for basically as long as they've been alive, yknow, as you do; and throughout the game jacob has to deal with goddamn daddy issues and fighting with his sister and insecurity and trying to be an assassin — and that's a lot for a guy to handle!! Especially one who's still just a couple years out of being a teenager! That's a fucking lot and if the devs are right, then he hasnt even realized that he's bi yet! Not until roth fucking kisses him while jacob's got a knife in his throat for the aforementioned indiscriminate, unproductive violence!

i mean, granted, yeah there were gay undertones during sequence 8, but i have to admit my bias here because i honest to god cannot take those missions seriously. Roth fucking preaches this and that about freedom and whatnot and then im plopped into the mission and it's the most rule-heavy shit ive ever seen in my short life as an assassin's creed player. Like what the hell, those missions were atrocious. Apprently i need to detonate the bombs a specific way, i cant just shoot them from a distance, i have to hold a button crouching down right next to the bombs, and then run the hell away! I have to avoid THIS and THAT while kidnapping xyz! Like there's freddy's apprehend missions and then there's THIS.

at least with ned's missions all you have to do is get the shit and go… i'm still salty that ubisoft cut his questline because they fucking insist on releasing a game a year >:((

my battery's dying. All these guys are different flavors of queer on top of just being pretty different and pretty similar in various ways, and there's just… barely anything about it. Ned especially, since he's just a quest giver whose screentime totals to, like, 2-5 minutes. I just wish they really did more with the setting; not just the queerness and these three specifically, but like, evie, henry, the class conflict — like there are shreds of it, seeds, but there's not much before you kill starrick and credits roll :((

idk. im just gonna refresh ao3 again cjemddjekjx

[elpis-simps]

Okay I just found out something. So we all know Captain Marvel. (BTW this post is for marvel fans) and her movie. I've watched that movie multiple times. Love it, I think it's written fairly well, great CGI, funny script, good lore and story, love how everything ties in, overall its a really good movie; and captain marvel is one of my favourite superheroes, and one of the most badass.

WHY THE F*CK do people think she's a "bad movie and bad superhero" like it's one of the really good B.E movies! (Before Endgame)

**I'm using B.E as Befoee Endgame because A.E (after endgame) is arguably the worse marvel era. Don't get me wrong, it has some great stuff in A.E, but B.E is just better overall.

Anyways, back to what I was saying. I think k Brie Larson was a great actress and did really well portraying the character Captain Marvel. Not to mention captain marvel was one of the overpowered superheroes in the B.E era, before they started making everyone OP to defeat big CGI villains and to make their movies more action packed to get more views and stuff. She had good plotline, good powers, cool backstory, funny, and genuinely one of my favourite female superheroes.

I would love to see her as the new face of the MCU, A.E. considering they killed off what was generally considered the "face" of the MCU, Iron Man and Captain America, they haven't put much focus on one or two specific people to be aforementioned face.

Captain marvel hasn't been killed off, she has amazing potential, and she's personally one of my favourite 'Big Badass Backup To Fight Big Strong Villain" in those "No hope left" moments.

I don't understand the hate on her. May e its because she was, along with Natasha Romanff, one of the first female superheroes on-screen in the MCU. Sexism is a big thing in movies and stuff, but I have some reasons why I think she and another person- who I will mention later- should be the next 'Face of the MCU'.

1: the previous 'face' duo was Iron man and Captain America. So it sta ds to reason, along with what marvel has been doing to be more racially and gender inclusive, that we should have 2 female superheroes.

Yes I know the whole 'really overexaggerated feminist film superhero plotline new budget annoying superhero to earn more money and get higher ratings' thing is annoying; but hear me out.

Point 2: I have a few options, but to continue off of point 1; I feel like a good combo would be The Scarlet Witch and Captain Marvel. (Wanda Maximoff and Carol Danvers)

They are both powerful, badass, good storyline, great actors behind them heroes/characters. They could make for a good duo to contrast from the B.E duo of men.

Point 3: yes u know that Wanda is 'dead' BUT before the rocks fell on her, you could clearly see a flash of RED MAGIC in the rocks. After the entire Dr Strange MoM (multiverse of madness) plotline was 'Scarlet Witch has grown in power she's following us into DUFFERENT DIMENSIONS and was prophesied since the DAWN OF TIME, and has unlocked much more of her powers, I HIGHLY doubt some normal old rocks would kill her.

It's just unlikely considering how obscure some of marvels foreshadowing has been, we know that they foreshadow films that come out like 3 years later.

Point 4: moving away from Captain Marvel and Wanda, how about a new duo.

Bucky Barnes and Yelena Belova. Its similar to the old duo of Captain America (man out of time, from 1940, soldier) and Iron Man (normal human, with special training/ gear that is one of the only things that makes them super.)

This duo would be interesting, especially as we've seen both bucky AND yelena on an official marvel movie poster together.

I personally love both characters;and it pays homage to the golden age of marvel B.E.

Bucky is homage to Captain America (obviously) and Yelena is homage to both Iron Man AND Natasha Romanoff.

And it could allow for more opportunity of the old age to come shining back through the new age, in the form of two humans, who have a rivalry,

(I think it would be interesting to have bucky and yelena to have a mild rivalry at least, considering we chose them due to there similarities with the old duo, cap and stark)

Who are also enhanced in ways that gives them an advantage in fighting, and it could give a lot of opportunity to save marvel. And bucky is a fan favourite character, so considering marvels reputation going down now their movies are getting worse COMPARED TO B.E, I think this could be a great way to bring the nostalgia of the old movies back.

So my original rant was about captain marvel being hated. Sorry for making you read all this, and if you have read everything here, I thank you immensely for giving me the time and chance.

I really miss the B.E era, and hate how they kill off all the OG great characters for new, sh*ttier superheros like Kamala Khan.

So here is just some ideas in my passionate rant which I would love to see. I love Wanda and Captain marvel, but personally I think I would prefer the Winter Soldier and White Widow duo because it would need less fancy magic CGI, and give the film(s) they appear in a more B.E and better quality feel then just a bunch of CGI that takes away from the quality of the movie and storyline, and the lack of CGI ( I mean the bright magic flashy stuff they constantly use in A.E, not the general cgi they more often use in B.E)

Would give the film(s) a better, more enostalgic, more authentic, emotional, just overall better film quality and plotline.

[eric-the-bmo]

Neighborhood Watch S3ep6: So I Moved In With An Axe Murderer

WE'RE BACK BABY! HOO BOY DID A LOT HAPPEN. OH MY GOD.

[Last we left off, the Main Cast (and Lestat) had explored the basement of the casino to find they were using people from town for... something. Also, they met a devil. They're currently in a safehouse with Kenneth, Gerald, and Grayson, but John and Markus received a text from Shelby asking for help.] @gr3y-plays-ttrpgs @kentuckycaverats

[Summary: Song learns more about her mother as we decide to do something about the casino, while the rest of the Cast heads outside of the safehouse to help Shelby. We learn she has some secrets.]

------

Emergency lights flicker on in the safehouse- Kenneth, meanwhile, is both panicking and totally stoked that this is happening. Louis grabs him by the shoulders and tells him to chill out, and due to Uncontrollable Clairvoyance, Kenneth gets some visions and decides to walk away. Gerald grabs some wine for if the Main Cast wants it, and Grayson tells us some lore about Song's mother.

He explains her met Melody via an arranged marriage between two rival families, and while she had her hobbies in the occult, they got along- but she began to take long trips and invite people over, only for them to never appear again. Grayson states she went too far trying to bring Song into whatever she was doing and decided to put his foot down. While he doesn't know her goals, he knows they're much too ambitious for a mortal- he's seen some of her notes (there's something about a prophecy). Grayson had gathered artifacts and knowledge of rituals to keep Melody away from him and Song & so that she wouldn't be able to get the aforementioned items for her own gain- though with outside help (like the devil we met earlier), she'd be able to break through Grayson's wards tofinally interact with her daughter.

Grayson says he never would've accepted this security job if he knew she was here, and while he has no knowledge about the strange hypnosis the townspeople were under, Kenneth returns with a charcuterie board to tell us he might have some info- during the day at the casino he was taken to the security room and told to drink some of the water he was given; he later came to his senses when he wasn't supposed to, and the guards had tossed him into a basement cell. The Cast agrees to save the townspeople and hey, maybe we can burn the casino down who knows! But it'll be hard to sneak it again/get more info now that Melody most likely knows Song is back with Grayson, whose security team might be compromised. Markus reveals to Grayson that they have bug abilities; He tells them he's seen worse.

["You're touched by Nature, I've met a few of you before. Have you seen the guy that can control worms?"] (Cue Markus mentioning William the rat guy, and a conversation of "can he summon them or is he essentially a bunch of rats in a trench coat?")

Markus tells us they can't entirely see through their bugs, more like sense things through them, and so far there's no radius to how far out they can send their bugs- they can be good for scouting out the casino again, when we can get out of the safehouse. Gerald confirms we can last up to three days in here, btw. (Kenneth's been staring at Markus since this is the first time he's seen their bug features (the holes in their skin, the compound eyes), and Markus threatens him to keep it a secret.)

Back to the topic, Song makes a group chat for this Casino Heist 2.0, while Gerald and Grayson go "hey we can't do this now, even sending out some scout bugs can compromise this haven's protection."

["Oh, speaking of protection-"] Song asks John how Shelby's doing. He wants to leave the safehouse to go help her, but apparently aside from the metal outside, there's also magical wards that take a While to be set up again if deactivated. Song offers to set them back up again.

John makes direct eye contact with Grayson and lets him know Shelby's important to him, and so we're given an hour before Song finishes the wards. John doesn't want Shelby to see him kill Harold, so Markus offers to get her away, and to also send some of their bugs with John just in case. John also doesn't want Markus to see it either and they're like "if that makes you feel better, sure, but I've seen what you are and it doesn't scare me," and it's really sweet and they hug. ["...okay," Markus says after a while. "we should stop before this gets any longer, it's getting a bit gay now." (Cue a silly yet in-character conversation with the Main Cast joking about how them hugging isnt the gayest thing here- Louis and Lestat are literally dating- and John casually being like "yeah I don't entirely identify as a man tbh")]

Song tells the two cryptids to call her if they need any help (Harold might be supernatural, who knows), and they exit the safehouse. Louis offers to help Song with the ward rituals despite being Just A Guy, and Lestat invites Song's father to their Monday brunch event. One of them mentions Emmett, which is currently an AI, and Song and Louis are like "ohh yeah uh. he's kinda busy he can't make it" (we need to go check on him, it's been a Month since we've heard from this guy). ---

With Markus's bugs we determine Shelby and Harold are in the Doe-Water house, and John is all sharp edges as we open the door. Shelby and Harold are on the living room couch- Harold, who's suspiciously calm about all this, has his arm around her, and while she looks visibly uncomfortable, she declines when Markus is all "hey do you wanna come over to my house, i got a new type of bug." Markus senses there's something keeping her here- blackmail or a threat, perhaps?

Harold introduces himself as Shelby's new boyfriend(!?!?!), and John is being so brave for not immediately slaughtering the man right then and there; The energy is palpable as John goes "Yes... I believe we've met before," and shakes his hand a bit Too Hard. Harold says he vaguely remembers meeting him a month ago, and also mentions his katanas; he's got them with him on a belt loop thing.

Harold tells Shelby to leave for a bit so "the men can talk" or whatever, and she hurries off to her room and locks the door. Markus leaves the house and goes around the to look through Shelby's window to see what she's doing- She's going through her closet for something, and if she hears Markus tapping on her window she's ignoring it- But then Markus's sister catches them doing this through the window of their house and is like "dude i know you might have a crush on her but what the FUCK are you doing?!" Markus tries to dissuade her like "no ok listen it's okay bc she's in danger, there's supernatural stuff at play, go back to bed I'm taking care of this," but this doesn't help at all and they continue to bicker. ---

John invites Harold outside so the man can demonstrate some sword tricks; and Luck is on his side as Harold agrees, even offering to teach John some tricks and be his pupil. The entire time he's demonstrating his sword tricks (and he's not the best at it), John is digging his claws into his skin. Once that's done, John offers to show Harold some of his own tricks. He agrees. John makes eye contact with Harold and grins, more akin to an animal baring its teeth, and lunges. He starts to drag Harold to the woods behind their house by the ankle with his teeth and hands- meanwhile, Song watches from the safehouse window almost approvingly. Louis sees this and decides to follow John, just in case.

Harold sees Louis approach and begs for help, but our Crooked hunter just taunts him. John's too busy to notice Louis's there, and in fact he starts to shift into almost a bird creature; his claws are more talon-like, with some feathers growing from his skin.

Harold tries to plead for his life- if he dies, they won't know what Shelby's been hiding! John pauses upon hearing her name, and Harold tries to use the fact he has dirt on her as leverage for his life- Louis threatens him by cutting off one of his fingers with his pocketknife & making him tell us what he knows. Harold says he thought Shelby had looked familiar when they first met, so he managed to dig up some newspapers she had been trying to cover up.

["She tried so hard to run away from where she came from. Her name's not even Shelby!"]

Louis is satisfied with this and walks away, leaving the two men alone in the woods. John decides it's not his business to know Shelby's past, so the next time Harold tries to speak he rips out his throat, and our Monstrous Hunter eats him down to the bones. It's the first proper meal he's had in ages, and he's never felt better.

John staggers upright, eyes reflecting whatever light is in the woods, and starts to stalk back towards the suburb. ---

Meanwhile, Louis enters the Doe-Water household to check in on Shelby, who's still locked in her bedroom. ["Hey... Not-Shelby... We know. It's not a big deal. We've all done worse."]

....Silence.

Louis continues; he doesn't mean to put her on the spot, at the very least she can trust John and, hopefully, him as well. (Still nothing). He means her no harm, but warns her that while he quite literally has blood on his hands, just in case she decides to come out.

The lock clicks. Slowly, the door creeps open- but Louis barely has any time to react as Shelby swings at him with an axe!

Notes/Commentary:

Hey can we talk about how all of this is happening at like 2am

Obsessed with John's eye contact and how it ties into that whole "wolves making eye contact to establish dominance" thing. My hands were Actually shaking the whole time I was so excited for him to finally kill that man.

It's so funny how John and Louis's most Iconic s1 interaction was "i dont understand how you're so disregarding of human life what's wrong with you" and now they've tortured a man together in the woods ⭐

My god we forgot about the ants. They've got the command of "help John with anything he attacks" and uh. hey?? This might be an issue at the moment-

Melody's notes including dark magic stuff, including blood, living sacrifices, and torture

One of my theories is that she's going to try and sacrifice Song. Have we thought of this.

I'm choosing to believe that the axe Shelby had hidden in her closet was the same axe John used to fight the plant monster in s3

On that topic: SHELBY WITH AN AXE???!?! I'm so thrilled that's canon, I drew Axe Shelby about a year ago! Maybe I should redraw it,,,,

(hey girl why did you have an AXE IN YOUR CLOSET???)

Obsessed with John and Shelby's dynamic like yeah they both met each other on the worst night of their lives and decided to leave their pasts behind and will kill in order to keep it a secret, and Yes both of them are gonna find out anyway

John levelled up! His claws now ignore some armor ⭐

My personal theory is that Shelby had an awful ex, killed them, and fled the state before ending up in Greenville. I guess I'll see what happens then in two weeks!

[what-is-this-car]

Nope.

So let's find some!

How To Identify Cars

(even if you know nothing about cars)

I should first start by noting that I've already written a guide on telling cars apart, but that's different from identifying them - chiefly because in that context concluding "this is not any car that I know" is a success, since it means you've told it apart from the ones you do know. If you work out what car it is every time that happens, that will eventually lead to enough knowledge and experience to identify cars at a glance. But gradually learning cars as you go through life is rather different than having a specific car (or worse, a shred of it) that you NEED the name of harder than the guy from the memes wants pictures of Spiderman. Hence, this guide.

Properly going over the topic requires me to once again flaunt my studies in perceptual psychology like it isn't the one exam I failed and twice at that recapping what actually happens when you recognize something. That is, your mind analyzes the shape it's looking at, scanning it for traits and features, compares what it notices with items in its database, and identifies a match.

Experience helps with all aspects of that.

It improves analysis, because it trains you to parse the shape and scan it for distinctive traits. Where one may see this...

...I saw this.

It also may mean, with good luck, already being familiar enough with the car in question to recognize it instantly. Or without that luck, as per this case, using the aforementioned details to narrow down the possibilities. For example, the transverse engine indicates a front wheel drive car, and the round, aerodynamic but unfussy styling is clearly from no sooner than the early 90s (not that the custom shaped headlights didn't already give that away) and no later than the late 00s. This narrowed the search quite significantly, and pointed me to potential suspects, like the Ford Falcon's sixth generation (known as AU)...

...though this couldn't be it because the lower edge of the side window is rounded and much lower than that of the windshield. But hey, that's one more detail to note!

So how about the Honda Civic's sixth generation (known as EK)?

Not this either, since the top of the fender follows a gentle upper curve along with the windshield, where in our car the top of the fender's flat, and the door's frame falls beneath the front pillar of the roof (known as the A pillar), where in our car it stretches over to conceal it (trait first introduced in 1980 by the 🇮🇹Giorgetto Giugiaro🇮🇹-designed Isuzu Piazza, btw).

But that's two more details we've noticed!

Then what about the Chevrolet (/Toyota) Cavalier?

See? Now I don't even need to explain why not, because noticing the discrepancies in the cars above taught us details about the car we're looking for and taught us where to look, and thanks to that experience we spot discrepancies here!

This to say, where the experience can't manage it, sheer trial and error fills in the gaps. It's what many people will tell you about failure: try long enough and, if you'll keep learning what worked and what didn't, you'll ultimately end up knowing what you need to. So armed with all the knowledge we've gone over, I went about ruling out a lot of other cars, like the fourth generation Honda Prelude or the Saturn SL1.

But some may not know those cars to begin with. And I must assume they'll be delighted to find out that at one point I just googled "90s sedan" and just checked all images for potential fits one by one. Again, sheer trial and error. Well, not really, since I already knew to look among 90s cars, but again that could come with trial and error if you had a keen enough eye to notice older cars' lines were too flat and newer cars' were too... more.

But even then, the terms were way too wide, and even needing just a lightning's span to assess each picture still presented an insurmountable task. So I used that which is not just my greatest strength, but every single human's, even those delusional enough to believe otherwise:

my brethren.

Yep. Surprisingly enough, even despite my use of light mode the friendly people in the things-about-cars-in-posts Discord server were people willing to help me.

And it was a daunting task, largely due to the heartbreakingly cruel combination of crop and resolution. Lights and front bumper, which as I've gone over previously are the most distinctive elements of a car, are just shy of featured, and the badge on the front is just shy of sharp enough to be parsed. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that with 10 more rows of pixels I would probably have clocked it in 10 seconds. But as it was, thanks to the power of multiple perspectives and knowledge bases, theories flew in every which direction, from the Hyundai Tiburon/Tuscani (nope, exposed A pillars) to the Ford Mondeo (same as above and flatter lines) to the Escort (the Ford, not me. Neither was it.)

We stumbled in the dark for over six hours, until the legend that is friend of things-about-cars-in-posts and member of this blog @brick-enthusiast came in clutch and finally released us from the torment:

And yes, I reacted with my trademark gratitude.

In my defense, my brain kept rightly insisting it was a 90s Chevrolet but stopped just shy of remembering the Lumina.

And now you can appreciate just how mean the crop was. I think a single row of pixels would have clearly shown the wheel well to be that close to the fender crease, which would've been a useful element.

Oh well. We've made it now. It's the second generation Chevrolet Lumina.

And this is a brand new collective blog for car identification whose point is precisely that, instead of replying with behemoths like these as I do in @things-about-cars-in-posts causing me to take months to provide a simple answer, the posts will just be a couple of lines about what model the car is and, if relevant, how one can tell. And you can be part of the people involved (pretty please) by joining the aforementioned Discord and asking about the cult. Er, the cult. Er, what-is-this-car.

So for the sake of ceremony, allow me to state:

This car is a second generation (1995-2001) Chevrolet Lumina.

See: the fender's crease and its flat upper edge, the windshield pillars covered by the edge of the door, the windshield's bottom line lining up with the front window's.

[solis-angelus]

A Plea for Some Helpful Advice

(short vent? Underneath)

I'm being very mature about my gradually spiraling mental health which shows it's face in forms of sudden bouts of anger, hatred and mostly crying. I feel hatred and envy and jealousy and vengeance and whatever whatever towards almost all of my family members, each at different random moments of time. I never felt this way even a year ago. (Because i used to? idk? Really love and appreciate my family. My family has no reason to deserve hatred and anger and jealousy from me..well other than some reasons but none thats of imminent concern or a direct and expected case of family conflict.)

I don't know what's happening with me but what I do know is that it's getting incredibly difficult to not draw attention to myself, in the form of desperate on-the-verge-of-crying nagging to my mother to talk to me, praise me, pay attention to me etc, sudden shouting, or bad behavior in general. And this scenario becomes ten times worse when I count in that I am involved in a joint family structure. We are visiting my aunt's house tomorrow and I'm hoping to just wing the interactions instead of excessively worry and counterproductively predict my bad behavior with family.

So, the aforementioned (in the first line) step of solving this thing is— obviously running away from home. And that is what I'm going to do. Not in the bad connotations no, I'll be civil and behave like a normal human being and rely on my "increased college exposure" excuse to get myself a college in a faaaaaaar away state, that the family won't be able to visit often. It's gonna hurt like HELL to not be able to hug my mother in person, and I know it's gonna be sad for her as well.

She doesn't want me to go. Since my father passed in 2021, we've taken in my cousin brother (whose parents are incapable of parenting). Taking care of a child at her age is no cakewalk (i help obviously). Our presence presence helps each other a lot, just seeing the other's face after a long day is the anchor to this tiring life we've found ourselves in. And I really have no reason to actually go out of city this early. Other than the aforementioned spiral into insanity. and also because if I stay in this city, I'll have to devote a lot of time to my cousin brother (aged 7, so u can understand what i mean). Both taking care of him and his academics as well as existing for his secure attachment relationship etc whatever etc. Plus there's always something or the other up with my aunts and uncle, and being the eldest's (my mother's) daughter, and being their reliable long term unofficial therapist, the duties fall on my back like they belong there. And juggling all this family, plus travel time to and fro my college and home, I won't get much extra time to STUDY (which yk, a normal 19 Yr old is supposed to do instead of taking mental responsibilities of their entire clan). Also minor sidenote: I'm tired of it. I'm tired of doing this. I don't want to do it anymore. I want out.

My family is GREAT btw, I have a great family, they've done many many uncountable good things for me since my birth to till date, so yk I have no room to complian. I shouldn't complain. But since this is a deserted alleyway in the middle of a fuck-knows-where universe— a.k.a. the internet and in a website where nothing is there and everything is there, I can say it, let my illogical words out, sometimes. screaming into the void and all that.

So, if you've reached this far, can u PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE???

Some disappointment? (god knows I deserve it), some hope? (..I kind of want..?), BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, SOME ADVICE (I NEED IT.) Reviews, criticism, I'll take anything. Please. Please please please

[hematomes]

HI as most of you know last month my genshin account was hacked and it was one of the most stressful situations of my life, essentially because I did not know what to do at first. Recently I've seen people going through that too, so I thought I'd try and help them out. Also added preventive measures in case it happens, because you need a fair amount of information to prove its your account.

This comes from my personal experience and also compiles advice from the subreddit r/GenshinHacked. I'd advise against looking elsewhere because Twitter threads are a confusing mess full of contradictory info, and this subreddit is really well-done. You can directly see other people's experiences and they answer rather quickly when you make a post so!!

Also I'm severely sleep deprived right now so english hard. Obviously reblogs are very much appreciated since it's to help the community but you know. Whatever let's get into it

1. What NOT to do

- DO NOT try to buy it back. This is actually the reason I'm putting this guide together, because I've seen people buy their account back and, seriously, don't. Buying an account is against the ToS and could result in your account being banned, which is way worse than hacked because then you most likely won't get it back. Additionally, it doesn't mean the hacker won't somehow steal it again. There's no security, you'd be depending on the asshole who literally stole your account. Do not. Do that.

- DO NOT buy accounts in general. It doesn't do any good. Like I said it's against the ToS and exposes you to it getting banned or even, in the worst case, sued by Hoyoverse. Most accounts put to sale are also stolen accounts, btw. There's at least half a dozen websites dedicated to selling and buying accounts, and a shit ton of them are stolen. It's not worth it, even if the account has your fave 5* character(s) c6r5.

- DO NOT contact the hacker or, if your account has been bought, the buyer. This will just increase the chance of it getting trashed, weapons and artifacts destroyed etc. Make sure to tell your friends not to contact them either even if they want to, it's extremely important. Even when you get your account back, just block everyone from the friendlist that you don't recognize and, if someone joins your world on behalf of the buyer, block them too. I don't co-op often but I did get like half a dozen of co-op requests after getting my account back.

- DO NOT attempt to hack it back. It could result in a much worse state, e.g your account being banned. Also if you fail, higher chance of getting your account trashed.

- DO NOT assume the worst. This is mostly for your own mental health. There's a good chance your account was bought or at least the hacker's trying to sell it, so deleting weapons and artifacts would be stupid. And even if they do (which sucks), keep in mind that you'd still have your characters. If you end up with no artifacts and are on the EU server, send me an ask or a dm and I'll help you farm them back for as long as it takes! /srs

2. What to do INSTEAD

- Allow yourself to panic. It's a really stressful thing to go through, so it's only natural to be distressed. I cried for hours, man. It's okay, you'll be fine, but for now just let it happen.

- Immediately go to the aforementioned subreddit r/GenshinHacked, specifically the menu tab, and click "Recovery Form Guide". You can also reach it directly using this link: Recovery Form Guide. It tells you how to get the form, and every step of the process. Don't hesitate to make a post asking for help, they're really sweet and understanding. However if anyone contacts you through dms or even comments about some random guy being able to get it back, ignore it. It's a scam.

- Follow each step carefully, and wait. It typically takes 5-10 working days to get a response from hoyoverse, sometimes less and sometimes more. It's hard, but you can't really do anything about it. I'd say distract yourself with something else but that shit did not work for me. Just know you're not the only one going through that and I'm mentally hugging you.

- Don't give up. It can take a few tries to get it back, but as long as you have the necessary informations and can prove it's your account, you'll get it back.

3. Preventive mesures

- Don't give anyone information on your account, unless you trust them. If someone joins your world and offers to buy you a welkin, a battle pass or even just crystals but need your info to buy it, it's a scam. There's an affiliate website to gift crystals to other players - and I think you only need their UID), so they can go through there if they're sincere.

- Only buy crystals directly from Hoyoverse or affiliated websites. Same with your info.

- Install Malwarebytes on your device and let it check it for malwares. If there's anything, even if you haven't been hacked yet, completely reset your device and change your passwords.

- Enable 2FA (two-factor authentication) on your hoyolab account AND your e-mail address. I use the app Authy, so far it's been working great. I can't vouch for any other. For the hoyolab account, you can link your phone number for example.

- Collect the following information on your account:

The date you created your account. You can verify it by logging into Genshin. Menu > Character Archives > Amber. Bottom right you'll see the day you acquired her, which typically corresponds to the date you created the account.

The device you created your account with, with information about it. The form usually says what they need, and the guide from r/GenshinHacked also help. Keep it safe!

The receipt for your first top-up, if you're not f2p. A screenshot of the e-mail will suffice as far as I know (I use Google Pay tho so I'm not sure how it works for other payment options).

Information on the device you play the most with. The form is pretty clear about it.

Additional information you can get now: 5* characters (with the day you obtained them + constellations), 5* weapons (with the date you obtained them + refinements), event weapons, which characters you picked from the Liyue Lantern Rite these past 2 years (NOT absolutely necessary, I didn't add that). You can provide screenshots of getting the characters and weapons with the UID visible, but keep in mind that these can be forged so it's not fool-proof.

I got reasonably lucky: they answered in roughly a week and my form was accepted on the first try, essentially because I provided the information mentioned above. If you can access it, keep it somewhere safe.

[mcyt-imagines-library]

Okay, but have you considered: Reader who's part of the Syndicate and has a huge crush on Techno decides to try to break him out the same exact time as Michael McChill, the canon Dream sympathizer/simp tries to break out Dream, and they two of them get put in a cell together and bond over their crushes

✋💀 i was working on a Sapnap NSFW Hcs request, but i believe this needed my attention the most, thank you for it btw

Meeting c!Michael McChill During A Prison Break

After many hours, using a netherite pickaxe and several buckets of milk, you had nearly breached the prison to the right of where Technoblade was being held.

By no means, were you breaking him out solely due to your romantic interest in him, but it certainly did help fuel your motive. No, it was because he was the driving force of the Syndicate. The amazing organization that you wholly believed was protecting people. That's why you were doing it.

Breaking the last two blocks, you slipped into the room, gracefully landing on the, somehow, cold obsidian floor.

From across the small room, Dream and Technoblade up looked at you. For the most part, the pink haired man looked content, Dream however, looked far more frazzled than you had ever seen him before.

Techno greeted you by saying your name, following it with a small nod, staying at his place on the ground, leaning and resting his head against the wall.

You always thought that your name from his mouth sounded very lovely, but now was not the time to mull over your crush.

“Thank the gods,” Dream yelled, bolting up onto his feet. "Finally I can leave this damn place!"

You stood in front of the whole you made, holding your dagger in front of you defensively.

"No, not you. I'm here for Technoblade."

Dream scoffed at you turning back to gesture at the aforementioned man.

"What, why?" His words were sharp and covered in venom. "Techno doesn't need saving. They don't torture him, they torture me. In fact, I'm willing to bet that's why he's here, to make my life inside of this stupid box hell."

Technoblade chuckled from his place on the floor. "I would argue you were already in hell, with the lava and whatnot." He gestured to the thick curtain of boiling lava in front of the cell.

The dark blond haired man made a frustrated noise and paced in the center of the room. He ran his hands through his messy, overgrown hair before stopping in front of you once more.

"Look, just- you get me out of here and I'll get you whatever you need. Just say the word and I'll-"

He was cut off by a loud yell and the flash of a figure falling from the ceiling, letting more sunlight into the cell. The sudden noise and light made you and Dream jump, Technoblade staying relatively the same.

On the ground, you noticed a man covered in dark clothing, with black hair that was pulled back in a tiny, messy ponytail, he had a mask on that was concealing the bottom half of his face.

The three of you watched as he was laying on the floor, hands tightly pressed to the back of his head. He rolled onto his side while groaning in pain.

Dream walked a few steps closer to him and stopped, leaning over his form. “Micheal?”

The man, Micheal, presumably, stopped and rolled onto his back again. He looked up at Dream and gave him a bright smile. 

“Dream! Dude, I’m here to rescue you.”

He sighed in relief and slumped against a wall and looked back and fourth from Michael to you. “Was this planned?”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t actually know what’s going on anymore.” Michael responded, standing up. He looked like he was about to say something again before Dream cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m about to be free.”

“Is that so?”

You and Dream jumped again, this time Michael was here to join you. The three of you and Technoblade turned your attention to the curtain of lava that was only about halfway lowered. Sam was standing on the platform opposite to you, trident in hand.

Dream laughed at him, his tone condescending “Yeah, because you’re all the way over there. You can’t even touch me.”

“I can’t?” Sam threw his trident, it stabbing into the thick obsidian wall next to Dream’s head. With some initial resistance, he was able recall it, it leaving three small, shallow holes in the wall.

“Okay, and?” He sped across the room, stopping at the hole you created.

“If you step out, things will get a whole lot worse for you, Dream.”

He laughed at him. “Yeah, okay.”

With a sigh of relief, Dream stepped his foot on the entrance, pulling himself up. He sheltered his eyes from the sun with his arm as he took a step outside. And then you heard him curse, quite loudly, in fact.

Almost immediately he was backed back into the cell, four guards filtered into the cell. “No. No, no, no, no, I was so close! What the hell, Sam?” He turned, looking back at him, who was on the moving platform, about half way through the lava cavern.

That had to be a form of psychological of torture, right?

"Do something, Michael, you want to be my hero, right?"

"Of course." He replied, putting his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Before he could do much more, Sam made it to the room. He shook his head as he pinned Micheal against a wall, slamming his hand against it the hardest. A loud crack sounded and his hand went limp, the blade falling onto the ground. Before anyone could grab it, another guard picked it up. Michael struggled as Sam turned him around pushing his chest to the wall and forcing his hands behind his back.

Dreamed looked at you, his hands ringing his hair, “Why aren’t you doing something?”

You shuffled your weight onto your other foot. “Uh-”

“Yeah, I’ll be honest, Asclepius here is mainly the healer, strategist, apposed to a fighter, executor, if you know what I mean.” Technoblade stated, using your Syndicate cover name. He patted your shoulder before settling his hand on you.

“It’s funny you say executor, actually.” One of the guards chimed in, rolling the handle of his own sword in his hands.

Technoblade sounded as clam as ever, “Well I think we’re going a bit overboard now, aren’t we?”

“No.” Sam started, now standing in the cell. “Michael and your teammate tried to break you and Dream out of prison. A crime with what is punishable by execution.”

You put your hands up slightly. “Well I was only here for Techno, who, technically, shouldn’t be in here in the first place.”

He nodded beside you, “That is a good defense, actually. I’m inclined to agree with them."

Sam ignore the two of you. “Michael, I need to talk to you privately. I’m really not sure that you understand the gravity of this situation or the why Dream was locked in prison in the first place.”

“No, Sam, he knows exactly what he’s doing, you should just kill him already!” Dream yelled, through clenched teeth. He looked absolutely pissed, like he wanted to throttle his would be savior. 

You and Technoblade glanced at each other, sharing a raised eyebrow look. At least the dude you had a crush on didn’t want you to crash and burn with him.

"Not right now, we need to question him first."

In response, Dream made another frustrated noise and threw his back to the wall, slumping to the floor.

Sam gestured for another guard to grab you and they did, positioning your arms in the same way.

You were both carried out and placed on the moving platform. When you looked back, you noticed that Dream looked utterly defeated and Technoblade was biting at his bottom lip, something he'd do in very rare situations where he was stressed.

...

You and Michael were put in a small jail cell before being stripped of all of your equipment, the room being tense between the two of you.

"I would've gotten Dream out if you didn't scramble in first and ruin things."

You laughed at his words as you crossed your arms. "Yeah, okay, and that's why you fell on your ass, right."

“My landing was a bit rocky, so what?”

You groaned in frustration. "Why do you even want to get Dream out?"

"I just think he's great."

"He literally told Sam to kill you."

"Yeah, it's how he shows he cares-"

You cut him off, “Oh, yeah, how he cares? He must have really cared about Tommy then, and about the citizens of L'Manburg. He really must be all for that 'tough love' sentiment, right?"

The room was quiet again.

“Well why’d you want to save the other guy?”

“Technoblade?”

He nodded.

You shrugged, “He’s a friend and... coworker, I guess.”

Michael raised an eyebrow at you. “That’s it? Are you serious?” 

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck. You might be killed in the next few hours, so you might as well tell someone, right?

"Yeah, uh, about that. I like him, I guess."

Michael laughed. "Seriously? You tried to help a convict escape because you have a crush on him?"

"Oh my gods, that's literally the reason you're trying to break out Dream, shut up."

"Yeah, that's why I'm laughing."

You accidentally cracked a small smile at him.

Calling it a friendship would definitely be a stretch, but you were both on calm water with one another now.

Hopefully now you two could pull what little resources you both had together, rescue your respective love interests, and figure a way out.

[thesuperduckling24]

I posted 20,106 times in 2022

That's 17,731 more posts than 2021!

22 posts created (0%)

20,084 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aikogumi

@hyenaskill

@kvetchcore

@nil-the-glitch

@the-ruler-of-rabbits

I tagged 1,724 of my posts in 2022

#save - 137 posts

#neverafter spoilers - 52 posts

#lmao - 36 posts

#i love this - 33 posts

#holy shit - 17 posts

#owo - 17 posts

#ough - 16 posts

#neverafter - 15 posts

#cackling - 14 posts

#technoblade - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#she’s a girlboss she’s a manipulator she needs to be liked by everyone she’s actually super awkward but doesn’t show it i love her so dearly

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

girl help the animatic i have for sun and moon to will wood and the tapeworms’ “dr. sunshine is dead” is incredible but it’s a) in my head and b) out of my artistic rangge

11 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#4

SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING YOU SHAMING Y---

*does my silly little dance of shame*

12 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#3

Tell me more about Del? :0 btw I support womens wrongs 💖

HELLO HI YES

oh my god i love del she is so beloved to me she is my first dnd character i ever made and she is so good and somehow she is still alive, she’s a water genasi swashbuckler rogue (level 7)/hexblade warlock (level 1) except she got that hexblade level from the literal fucking kraken to help protect her Actual warlock friend who also serves the kraken

her girlbossing comes from lying directly to various people’s faces. one time a shopkeeper was vaguely racist to her (she’s blue and they were in Barovia) and so she got a nat20 to intimate him into giving her all the shit she wanted for literally nothing. she also lied directly to strahd von zarovich’s face a couple times and while that made me as her player So Fucking Nervous she bluffed her way through like no one’s business. she did it again recently when the literal head of the mage’s guild was found out to be corrupt and she went to confront him about how her alchemist friend got cursed when he was supposed to be watching the wards. she’s also a constant poison hoarder she’s got like 6 different poisons at all times (never know when you need to assassinate a noble)

the rest of her party includes:

aforementioned kraken warlock who sucks at Everything but magic shit (lovingly) - @melchoinsassy

Big Sister Rogue Mentor/Friend - @aikogumi

forest druid/green dragon sorcerer who’s kind of oblivious and is also a fucking wereraven somehow - (don’t remember her blog sadge)

coast druid who was also somehow related to strahd and also is ingratiated into the feywild and can also cast fireball if she’s angry enough (spoiler: she always is) - @b0redt0wn

way of shadows monk/bloodhunter who worships the stars and also kicks ass in combat - @musical-in-theory

cult survivor paladin #1, former neverwinter royal guard but now a full-time mom (both for the party and for the construct child she found in Barovia) - @4everinvideos

cult survivor paladin #2, former bane loyalist with a brother still embroiled in the cult who is actively working against us, she also refuses to practice self-preservation - @the-ruler-of-rabbits

18 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#2

ok but something that’s eating me alive is the fact that we know. we know. we are almost 100% certain that the wolf transformed ylfa into a werewolf herself, right? (or werewolf adjacent). like that’s the whole thing. that’s not really the question here.

the question is: when was she turned?

cause i can see Two possibilities here, and i don’t know which one is worse:

a) ylfa strays off the path, wastes too much time, and goes to her grandmother’s house, only to find the wolf there already and her grandmother dead. as she tries to escape, she’s bitten and turned, and she runs back home to her mother

OR

b) ylfa strays off the path, and runs into the wolf. bitten, turned, and frightened, she runs to her place of comfort, her grandmother’s house, but turns completely and kills her grandmother. she awakens, and horrified by what’s she’s done, she runs home to seek answers

141 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

holy shit

14,866 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thisdreamplace]

Hi, what would you (or a general person) think/feel/act like if they were happily employed with a major paycheck?

I'm asking coz i feel blockage when I try to imagine living in the state of this manifestation. Fears of being incompetent at interviews and unable to answer questions properly or rambling crop up when I try to even imagine having that amazing job

Worse, I mean not worse, coz ik circumstances shouldn't matter, thing is idk idek the specifics of the ideal company or ideal job post of my desire

Ik I want eg:

an exorbitant salary (financial independence), even tho I fear I won't be able to negotiate at all (I'm not exactly a bargainer)

a role of responsibility where i can learn from the higher ups while inspiring those below, with a level of autonomy

Work that's not tedious or repetitive

So on and so forth

Even tho I don't have much job xp (again, Im prolly invalidating myself here, coz the fact is, I've come to realise even if I win a Nobel Prize, I'll keep feeling I haven't done 'enough'), I do have amazing, hard-as-hell-to-get qualifications (and again... I feel I'm not enough like wth whyyy? ;_; I've met so many people who've got half of these qualifications yet they're more confident and can actually flaunt that while I feel, not like an imposter, but ig worthless when compared)

The worst is Ive always freaking felt it in my bones I'm worthy of a higher role than my current self can achieve (by current self I'm referring to the fact that I do have issues eg nightmare interviews in the past hovering over me, beliefs of being incompetent or unqualified or being unable to answer difficult questions (since I was a child, I've been told, disparagingly alas, that I'm only 'book smart' and could only ace studies by 'rote learning', which is untrue. In fact thanks to that, I actually developed a memory issue whereby I'm unable to memorize stuff easily (btw one of my secrets to academic success has been understanding concepts, mind mapping it all mentally, having a solid grip over foundations etc. Ok I digressed) anyhow, I really do feel unprepared to answer questions (in fact one of my fears is being asked an intrusive question (like hey, why are you eg so pimply? (Btw I'm not, this is just an example) in front of everyone and being at the center of attention in that way 😱) so yeah, I hope you can sense the myriad of beliefs holding me back (and sometimes I feel nauseated to even think of 'facing' these beliefs or fears. Like, it's as I wrote to u rn that I realised I fear looking incompetent, except this case is so severe coz I feel like it's worthless if it's not done perfectly (or as near perfect))

So how do I manifest here? Hell, my mind starts hurting if I assert: okay, let's at least prepare, no, at least LOOK at a job interview question

Ik the Law says I can assume anything and that'll work. So how do I assume I'm, y'know, a confident gal who does not have the aforementioned state of mind? Or how do I defuse the root issues linked to childhood/past stuff? Or better yet, what state should I focus on assuming/taking on? I have no idea how to start. And thanks to analysis paralysis (it took me years to acknowledge this even) I'll end up prolly doing nothing then another month will pass by with me doing nothing and then I'll type another frenzied ask

PS: yep, Im aware of the self concept topic, but I hope u can shed some light on this specific matter at hand, kinda customized?

Ty

😰

So to begin with, scratch everything and literally focus on your self-esteem and your concept of self. No, you don't need a good self esteem to manifest, but I'm really passed pretending like it should be optional. Every one of us deserves to feel good about ourselves, for ourselves. And you're holding yourself back so much by not allowing yourself to feel good about who you are. I mean, you list how accomplished you are and yet it's still not good enough for you?

It's confusing because if you felt in your bones you were worthy of something better, how can you sit there and but yourself down so easily? Your reality is giving you what you actually feel worthy of. And it's not what you desire.

You're the only one holding yourself in this story. You know the law says everything is happening now, meaning all desired experiences and versions of yourself are available to you now. You tap into them by using your imagination and dwelling there. So, stop sticking yourself to this story that doesn't help you. You feel unprepared because you keep saying so. You keep replaying this memory of things going badly, when in reality there's not even a past. You're the one keeping it alive by being so consumed by it and thinking it's so real. But see, the past only exists in your mind. It doesn't exist elsewhere. And just like with everything else in our mind, we have the power to decide what is and is not so.

Plus, the comparison game has got to come to an end. Everyone is you pushed out anyway. A win for one person, is a win for all. Who are you comparing yourself to, besides a reflection in the mirror? There's no point. The more you let go of the old way of thinking and allow yourself to remember more and more who you truly are, the easier it'll be to let go of wanting to compare yourself all the time. It's literally your reality. It's your world and everyone else is just living in it. Seriously. You're literally at the center of your world. You're at the heart of it all, there is no one else but self.

Self concept isn't something to push to the side. I notice a lot of people know about it and then go, "ehh but what else is there?" Like, I did the same thing. And that's why my journey was full of detours when I could have just went straight to my destination.

How do you do this? Well, you do have some idea of who you want to be. I mean, I'm guessing you want to be the opposite of every undesirable trait/experience you mentioned? So therefore, (if you want to write it down, please do), you need to decide the mindset you want to focus on manifesting within yourself. Let the outer world be for a bit, it's time to focus on you and only you. Here's an article that gives an example of how to get clear on the version of you that you want to embody.

And then once you get clear on that, really, the only task you have is to wake up everyday and thrive to focus on keeping that mindset. Sure you might slip up, sure some days you may not do well keeping it at all, but it doesn't matter. You keep persisting and it gets easier and becomes your new normal.

You see, I like how Dylan James says manifesting is not a trying process because it makes sense. For example, you didn't try to end up with the experiences you have surrounding career right now. However, you manifested it due to your concept of self. Change your conception of self and without trying, that perfect career you desire will find you. It can be that simple. But we have to allow it to be. Plus, you really only need to focus on yourself. You don't need to have a list that consists of your must-haves in a job, or anything. (Unless you truly like to make lists like that.) Because the truth is, our desires are from God. Therefore, we never need to worry about telling our Godself what we want. Our Godself already knows. So if you are unclear, you can trust you'll be lead exactly where you want to go. Being specific or being general makes no difference and it's okay to approach manifesting with either one. You'll always come out successful no matter what. But the change begins within. There is no one to change but self.

Hopefully this is helpful! You got this! 💖

[safetytank]

long-ass floral drama ahead

after the roaring successes of my Anders DragonAge Did Nothing Wrong & How To Dungeons And Dragons Good presentations, the host of the original had a follow-up DTL night and u KNOW a bitch is incapable of not doing Way Too Much while simultaneously leaving everything to the last minute

so here u go, customers i interacted with while working at one of the local florists between 2017-2018, organized and ranked for ur entertainment

commentary added bc most the slides were just a visual component to a textual joke & i won’t make u all sit through a 10-minute video rendition, u got shit to do

every single older guy cheating on his partner follows exactly the same script, it’s like they were made in a lab

some did manage to break away from the mold tho, usually younger guys asking sheepishly if we had “i’m sorry” balloons (we did) or the following 2 honorable mentions for bringing innovations to the field of cheating on ur wife

imagine using a BIBLE VERSE to try and convince your girl she should take u back bc something something FORGIVENESS

the audacity

the second honorable mention is the very first customer complaint my manager handled after he was hired on back in like 2012, which was a guy whose girlfriend had looked at his credit card statement the day after Valentine’s Day and saw he’d sent 13 other one-dozen rose arrangements so he tried to convince her it must have been a credit card glitch & that he’d call and get it sorted out and my manager was like “lmao fuck no you’re not getting a refund, u made ur bed now lie in it asshole”

number 4 is the time a customer wanted an order wired to chicago for a loved one’s birthday and have it be sent to their job and i was like “oh how nice where do they work” and they were like “the leather museum” and me, internally, thinking “wow like cowboy stuff :)”

it was not cowboy stuff

number three i don’t even give a shit about censoring the name on bc if you know Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life there’s no punishment u could enact upon me that would be greater than having to put up with Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life

this slide is an example of a normal message someone might write on a card that comes in a floral arrangement, like 4-ish lines of text on a little plastic fork that says “happy birthday, love NAME 1 and NAME 2″ or “sorry for your loss, love THE LASTNAME FAMILY”

Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald does not know how cards on floral arrangements work

like damn bitch just send a letter at that point jesus christ

fun fact this was also a wire order so the other florist called us on the phone to be like “uhhhhh is this....correct” and we had to be like “yeah” and they went “ok, cool, just checking, uh, so we had to staple 4 different message cards together to fit all of it” and we were like “yeah bet u did lol”

vickie fucking fitzgerald was a million billion years old and if u saw her name pop up on the caller ID you learned to fear it bc it meant you’d be trapped on the phone for between 10 and 20 minutes listening to her entire life story in between trying to take a gd floral order

one time she wanted a funeral basket sent out of state to FUCKING ALASKA and we’re on the east coast of the united states so we were like “ok well there’s a 4 hour timezone difference and it’s 8am here so they’re not even open yet, we’ll have to wait til 12pm when they open up at 8 and then we can wire it for you so we’ll take down your order and call u back when it’s time to wire it”

yall wanna guess how many times this bitch called back to waste our time before 12pm

VICKIE YOU WENT ON FOR CUMULATIVE HOURS ABOUT HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS DIVORCING YOU AND I’M BEGINNING TO SEE WHY HE MIGHT WANT TO

#2 is of course the dumb horny bullshit, bc it turns out if u order online and the quality control manager isn’t paying A Lot of attention u can slip all kinds of shit into ur card messages (just don’t do the entire fuckin Iliad like VFF up there)

this one gets put in horny jail because of the sheer AUDACITY of contacting someone who has either 1. been broken up with/divorced recently, or worse, 2. THEIR PARTNER FUCKING DIED, and THEN TRYING TO THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING WITH THAT “I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, CATCH ME ON THE REBOUND BABY ;)” HORSESHIT

no comment

this one haunts me in the depths of night and will absolutely be the last thing i see when i close my eyes to slough off this mortal coil

this one yall get every single slide for bc the only reason it lives on in as much detail is due to me hopping on twitter immediately afterwards to preserve the memory while it was still fresh (the caller was not the ghost btw, she was a middle-aged acquaintance of the aforementioned Gay Nigerian Royalty Ghost)

shout out to every stock website i skimmed off for this presentation btw

we stan one gay ghost king (THIS JOKE WORKS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS)

WHY DID HE HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, YOU ASK

i cannot confirm literally any of this information please do not ask me to i was just paraphrasing what was told to me

here’s where we got into the really wild shit

if u ever worked retail u know this feeling

SO THE DELIVERY MANAGER COMES BACK IN THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL

and he’s like “so i walked in there to deliver the orders and the place was DECKED OUT in traditional fabrics, masks on the wall, everyone was dressed very traditionally, and i was like wow cool guess this guy was important” (he did not know about the International CIA Prosecutor stuff) and someone at the funeral home told him “oh yah we had to go all out bc the deceased’s family WERE A BRANCH OF THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY THAT HAD FLED TO THE UNITED STATES SOMETIME IN THE 80′S so obviously u can’t have a royal funeral and skimp on the decorations :)”

artist’s rendition

thank u for enjoying this little trip down memory lane also if u recognize urself or someone u know in any of these stories i blocked ur names out for a reason so don’t fuckin come at me ok

[jadedbirch]

There's also the aspect of this entire scene/novel being from WWX's POV and WWX in the novel has the EQ of a turnip. He was essentially still teenaged when he died, if you take into account the fact that the trauma of war would have halted his brain development, and then, while everyone had over a decade to ruminate on what happened and evolve from it, he just comes back to life in a smaller, gayer (read - more feminized) body and spends the entire novel acting like a teenage girl (see: aforementioned tree leaping scene which is the most disgusting thing in the novel in my not so humble opinion).

So yes, the scene is a hot mess. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian love each other very much, but Wei Wuxian IS in the wrong here by trespassing on something sacred that he walked away from before, just as he was in the wrong in performing the golden core transfer and then lying to JC about it. WWX fucked it all up, and then he makes it worse by throwing that talisman.

(The same scene in CQL is far more nuanced and the entire drama makes WWX a million times more likable and less irritating btw but that's for a different post.)

Do you have any feelings opinions or analysis of the golden core reveal or just how the scene in the ancestral hall went down?? Because I have a lot of feelings about it but I can't quite put them together into words and I love your analysis of the story and jiang cheng

thank you for the ask!!!! and thank you for your kind comments!!

god i have so many opinions about the golden core reveal, and the ancestral hall scene that precedes it. i don't quite have all my thoughts in proper essay order right now, but i will probably write another long-ass post about my Hot Takes some day soon.

unorganized thoughts as of right now:

for the ancestral hall scene, i am almost purely on jiang cheng's side. jiang cheng was rude as hell and he did verbally escalate instead of peacefully allowing wangxian to leave, yes. however, they are in his house. they are in front of his ancestors. they are in his ancestral hall, which they entered without permission. to me, it seems like wei wuxian wants to have his cake and eat it too: he wants to avoid jiang cheng and all the anger the jiang cheng of the present has at his (very real and rather devastating) mistakes, but he also wants to freely come and go in jiang cheng's own goddamn house, like he used to be able to when he still had a positive relationship with jiang cheng. if wei wuxian is going to act like jiang cheng and yunmeng jiang are nothing to him anymore, then he should properly commit to being a full outsider.

it's also interesting how wei wuxian focuses his retorts in his argument with jiang cheng on "how dare you be cruel to lan zhan!!! i'm protecting lan zhan!!!!" when in my view the vast majority of jiang cheng's verbal abuse was directed towards wei wuxian himself. jiang cheng calls lan wangji "riffraff" and "an outsider," but that...is incredibly mild language to me. jiang cheng is ruder to wen ning (by calling him a "wen dog") for heaven's sake. instead, jiang cheng is much nastier towards wei wuxian himself: wei wuxian is shameless, wei wuxian's idiotic hero complex got all his family members killed, wei wuxian is why jin ling is an orphan, wei wuxian is a heartless ingrate, etc etc.

wei wuxian, defend YOURSELF! jiang cheng is barely being nasty at all to lan wangji, but he IS being nasty to YOU! compared to all the horrid shit he yells at you, he barely even brings up lan wangji at all! at the very least, tell jiang cheng not to call wen ning a "wen dog"!

i haven't fully thought this out yet so i'm not sure how fully i stand by it, but the fact that wei wuxian gets that heated "defending lan wangji" when jiang cheng barely even insulted lan wangji that much, is very interesting. it implies to me that, while wei wuxian thinks he does not have the right to properly rebut jiang cheng's criticisms of himself, that he truly is guilty and therefore should just take jiang cheng's verbal abuse of him lying down - deep down, he is still upset about jiang cheng blaming him specifically. when jiang cheng calls wei wuxian an ingrate who got all of jiang cheng's family members killed, wei wuxian is in fact upset and does in fact want to protest. however, he is unable to openly do so because he also feels incredibly guilty himself about the role he played in jin zixuan and jiang yanli's deaths, and therefore thinks he does not have the right to defend himself against jiang cheng's rage on the same issue.

but wei wuxian is still upset and still wishes to rebut jiang cheng's fury. therefore, "defending lan wangji" becomes an excuse for wei wuxian, a pretext to find issue with jiang cheng's arguments and therefore fight back. it's somewhat similar to when someone writes an incredibly effective counterargument to your post, so you hyperfocus on mocking them for a spelling error instead: you can't think of a way to properly rebut their rebuttal, so you jump on the first thing that gives you an excuse to disagree with them and poke holes in their argument. wei wuxian believes (accurately or not) that he does not have the right to defend himself against jiang cheng; however, he is fully justified in defending lan wangji from jiang cheng, which gives him an excuse to argue back when jiang cheng insults wei wuxian.

this is evidenced by the fact that, in the ancestral hall scene, wei wuxian does not defend wen ning from jiang cheng at all. jiang cheng also gives wei wuxian shit for "let[ting] the Wen dog wander around in front of our gates," but wei wuxian just fully lets that comment slide in favor of defending only lan wangji. while this could be because lan wangji is present to hear jiang cheng say this while wen ning is not, for me, another reason comes to mind as well: in wei wuxian's mind, wen ning is also involved, however tangentially, in the deaths of jin zixuan and jiang yanli. wei wuxian's guilt extends to encompass wei ning as well. therefore, wei wuxian feels that he also does not have the right to defend wen ning from jiang cheng. it is only lan wangji out of the three people jiang cheng insults that wei wuxian has the right to defend, because lan wangji alone was not involved in the jiang family tragedy of wei wuxian's first life.

also, it was wei wuxian who first escalated a verbal confrontation into a physical one.

regarding the golden core transfer scene.....first, i find it absolutely hilarious that wen ning of all people spilled the beans to jiang cheng, and got so mad about it to boot. king, you helped operate on him. king, you helped lie to him about it. king, there is no shortage of things you have the full right to be angry with sect leader jiang about, but him believing the lies you actively chose to tell him and not figuring out that you were lying is not one of them. as someone else put it, one person between wen ning and jiang cheng had a free and active hand in removing wei wuxian's core and putting it into jiang cheng, and that person was not jiang cheng. wen ning helping violate jiang cheng's bodily autonomy and then weaponizing said nonconsensual surgery later in an argument against the same jiang cheng is kind of crazy to me, honestly.

imo (and i'm stealing from an analysis i read somewhere), wen ning was this harsh about the golden core reveal despite being one of the surgeons who nonconsensually operated on jiang cheng and then lied to him about it for similar reasons as i described for wei wuxian above. wen ning is also deeply angry with jiang cheng for a lot of things: jiang cheng repeatedly calls him a "thing" and kicks him around like he isn't a human being; jiang cheng also led the first siege of the burial mounds, which killed all save one of wen ning's family members. that is a completely reasonable thing to be mad about. but wen ning, having seen firsthand the wrongdoings of qishan wen, probably has a guilt complex of sorts about being a wen; more importantly, he feels incredibly guilty about his "role" in killing jin ling's father. therefore, wen ning probably does not feel he has the right to defend himself from jiang cheng.

but deep down wen ning is still angry. he is still incredibly angry with jiang cheng for the things jiang cheng did to wen ning. and, while wen ning may not feel like he has the right to defend himself from jiang cheng, defending wei wuxian from jiang cheng is a different matter. in wen ning's eyes, wei wuxian did no major wrong and always had good intentions. therefore, jiang cheng has no right to be angry with wei wuxian. therefore, if wen ning absolutely wrecks jiang cheng's shit defending wei wuxian (and not wen ning himself), then wen ning would be entirely justified.

second - and my thoughts on this haven't fully baked yet - there's this undercurrent in both the golden core transfer scene and the guanyin temple scene that, because wei wuxian gave jiang cheng his core, jiang cheng does not have the right to be angry with wei wuxian for the pain wei wuxian's actions caused jiang cheng. that jiang cheng is now permanently indebted to wei wuxian, which therefore voids all of jiang cheng's right to say that wei wuxian hurt him.

i don't like this undercurrent. i don't like this idea at all. if someone - even accidentally - caused you a lot of pain, the fact that they also once sacrificed themself for you does not negate the pain they caused you. you should be grateful for what they did for you, but that doesn't mean you no longer have a right to your pain.

to flip the script, jiang cheng in reality also sacrificed himself for wei wuxian: he only lost his golden core to begin with because he drew that wen patrol away from wei wuxian. it is factually correct to say that, were it not for jiang cheng, wei wuxian would very likely be dead. but if anyone were to say: "jiang cheng once sacrificed himself for wei wuxian, meaning that wei wuxian owes his life to jiang cheng; therefore, wei wuxian does not have the right to be angry with jiang cheng for the first siege of the burial mounds," that would be fucking stupid. because that's not how it works.

i hold this to be true even though there is a cause-and-effect relationship between each person's sacrifice and their later actions. wei wuxian not having a golden core explains a lot of his later lying and other behavior, and jiang cheng having been tortured because he saved wei wuxian in turn explains a lot of his later resentment and other behavior as well. but neither of their fates were set in stone. both of them still had free will and still could have made different decisions afterwards.

the above is all a lot of blaming, refutation of blaming, and morality wank, so here are some assorted non-morality opinions:

the gift of the magi esque dual-sacrifice wei wuxian and jiang cheng pulled for each other is my favorite part of the story. like holy shit.

wen ning did phrase the golden core reveal to be as hurtful as possible. i find the idea of a sacrifice performed out of love and care for the recipient later being weaponized against that same recipient to be a very interesting idea.

wei wuxian absolutely did not give up his golden core out of only a sense of duty. there was quite a lot of duty, obligation, and guilt (spurred on by jiang fengmian and yu ziyuan's last words to him) mixed into his reasons, but i think wei wuxian gave his golden core to jiang cheng because he loved jiang cheng and didn't want to watch jiang cheng suffer.

jiang cheng, meanwhile, led the wen patrol away and thus got captured in place of wei wuxian purely because he loved wei wuxian. in doing so, he specifically failed his duty to his dead parents, his ancestors, and his sect.

wei wuxian's internal narration about how he later conceptualized the golden core transfer as "his duty to the jiang" is interesting because it is written to be a post-hoc justification. as in, he came up with those reasons and that line of thinking after he already gave up his golden core, and was trying to make the outcome acceptable to himself.

jiang cheng postcanon is in a position to start healing. this take is also stolen from an analysis i read somewhere else, but the one question that's been cooking jiang cheng for the past 13 years is Why. why did wei wuxian do all that? did wei wuxian ever truly care about him, about his family, or was wei wuxian lying from the start? wei wuxian consistently accomplishes the impossible, so how could wei wuxian allow this to happen? but now that jiang cheng knows wei wuxian gave his golden core to him, suddenly all these questions have answers. the cause and effect relationship between A and B makes sense now. and now that jiang cheng has answers, he can let the questions stop cooking his brain and begin to heal and move on.

thank you again for the ask and the kind comments!

[stonyiscanon]

socially awkward! peter parker x oblivious shit! reader

read: peter has a heart attack every time he talks to you because you’re too pretty and nice oof

lmfao just experimenting some new head canon//writing styles lmk what you guys think 🥺

it’s essentially a crack fic i have no regrets.

Warnings: an excessive amount of exclamation points used, overload of fluff, it might be little TOO crack-y if that’s even possible for me, a confusing amount of POV switches. ok it’s just shitty writing would you please read it.

Words: 4.8k this be a baby fic

Genre: fluffity fluff, idiots to lovers, high school! reader, god just read the title.

my masterlist is here if you want more shit

talk to me! be my friend please im lonely

 peter first meets you when you’re new to midtown and you get sorted into his science class.

you sat in front of him your very first day and yeah he’s been soft™ for you ever since

like no joke the first time he saw your face he freezed up and choked on his banana

‘oh nO NED!!! she’s PRETTY!!’

‘like, REALLY pretty!!! S H I T’

‘um,,... okay ain’t that a good thing you sit behind her in class!! maybe you can ask for her number or something—‘

oh hohohohoho ned my friend,,

N O

ABSOLUTELY NOT

peter parker has spoken to you a total of twenty-two (22) times within the whole year that you’ve been... acquaintances?? classmates?? ….. friends???

and his fat secret crush on you will STAY A SECRET THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

he’ll die before he asks you out or makes a move because there’s no way in hell peter has a chance with you, the beautiful new girl.

‘i mean, she’s not just beautiful too! she’s so smart, and i know that because i can literally see all her notes from behind her and she gets like, basically all A’s, but she doesn’t even know she’s smart and beautiful?? like, she never raises her hand in class even though i know she knows all th-’

you would think ned would be tired of peter’s ‘shit I’m in LOVE’ rants by now, he’s not because we stan supportive friend ned.

hehe little does he know his big fat secret crush may not be,, totally unrequited

👀

oKAY so maybe you have a humongous tiny crush on the dorky cute guy who sits behind you in science class

WHAT ABOUT IT not like he likes you back anyways.

that one time you asked him for a pencil he looked like he was having an aneurysm!! like okay, are you that hideous or—?

(yeah it totally doesn’t hurt at all that the cute guy you like is repulsed by your presence and seems to ignore you and tense up whenever you’re around)

(t o ta ll y) 🤡

yeah y/n kinda dumb in this because the entire student body knows about peter’s (not so secret lmFAO) crush on you

everyone lOwkEy ships it

ned is president of the petery/n shipper fanclub

that may be because he’s the only member in aforementioned fanclub but you two have many supporters outside the fanclub

ned hypes peter up everytime science class comes around and peter gets kinda confident when he walks in the classroom

‘yeah! i got this!! maybe this time i won’t stare at her hair creepily and then run aw-‘

‘hey peter!’

asjkdjejnxHAUXINENEIAIRJBSJS

ABORT NEVERMIND I DONT GOT THIS ASKXISNNDKSN

peters brain has left the building

and he kinda stares at you for a sec and runs off to his seat at the back

hm, yeah he definitely doesn’t like you

you sigh as you take your seat in front of him, trying to ignore how your love for this dork is completely one sided

the entire class wants to throttle both of you

so then for the sake of the cliche and the plot (did you heart that fourth wall break?? nvm i didn’t hear nothin)

gasp group project time??!?!?!?!

dang who could have saw this coming

totally unexpected

wow

peter is half hoping to get you and half DREADING to

because he knows if he gets you he’ll be able to spend time with you but 300% won’t be able to function and will most certainly fail this project

but i mean who cares about grades.

in a plot twist that literally no one saw coming,,,

‘betty and liz, you’ll be doing yours on atomic structure,

and peter and y/n are partners! you’ll be doing...’

oh nO

you’re partnered up with peter!

i mean this is great news you get to stare at his precious face more but you’re basically forcing him to spend time with someone he doesn’t like!!

so you turn around and you give him an apologetic and (cute as FXCK) small smile

meanwhile, peter combusts

one look at your smile and he just knows he’s completely fucked

like he physically uwus so hard he slams his head on the table

‘oh! are.. you okay? i mean, is working with me really going to be that bad?’

awkward laugh to hide the pain,, quick y/n!!

‘nO!! i mean, no, absolutely not that’s not what i- it wasn’t my- i didn’t m-‘

you smile a little sadly this time and say,

‘don’t worry about it, i know you don’t like me. it’s only two weeks anyway. i promise i won’t take much of your time.’

wait. hold up. back up here. wha-? wHO doesn’t like W HO??

‘wait what do you mea-‘

‘don’t worry about it. wanna meet at the library after school to get a head start on this?’

‘uh, yeah. i mean- cowabunga…!’

wat

shit peter has never wanted to die more in his entire life

so he does what any other normal person would do and yEEts out the classroom full speed

leaving you slightly hurt but mostly just confused

peter strolls in the library casually attempting to strain his neck 360 degrees to look for you

he looks like a chicken and also that’s humanly impossible but leave him be he’s iN LOVE

he spots you on one of the study tables. he takes a deep breath,, and walks over

‘hey!! sorry i’m a little late, uh, something… came up haha’

acting like the poor boy didn’t stand outside the library for fifteen minutes thinking about what he was going to say to you

‘no worries!’ you shoot him another one of those painfully adorable smiles and peter wants nothing more but to give that smile a smooch because damn that is a face that deserves smooches

but he also has a tiny feeling that maybe you might not appreciate it if he randomly kissed you out of nowhere

(you would not mind at all but he doesn’t know that)

‘so yeah! ready to compare the wonders of chemistry and motion physics?’ peter says, bending down to snatch his backpack up to the table (effectively hiding his red cheeks)

you snort as you prop your elbows onto the table, resting your head on your hands.

‘the wonders? hm, i really can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not. guess you really are a dork.’

you giggle a little bit before you catch sight of peter looking like a gaping fish. you immediately slam your hands down, perhaps a little too loudly considering you’re in a library, and blurt out,

‘uh, I was.. joking! making a joke, in case, you know, that wasn’t obvious.’ You awkwardly hide your face between your fingers and squeak out a small apology

‘nO! no, no, don’t worry about it. yeah, I am a dork, so… yeah, i’m not offended, or anything. uh- just, yeah, don’t worry about it.’

well, that ruined the flow of conversation peter was so desperate to keep up with

none of you speak for a bit, opting to look around the very interesting library walls instead, until peter clears his throat and brings up motion physics again

yeah! this will be fine. all you have to focus on is science, and NOT peter’s very soft kissable lips and how good he looks in his light green coloured sweater

huh

oh no

 desperately attempting to clear your mind, you try and focus on what he’s saying instead

it’s just SCIENCE, y/n. focus on the SCIENCE.

this distraction just-concentrate-on-the-work technique works for about the next hour or so as you guys study and work on this project

everything is going great!

you two have an organised google doc full of research and a finished introduction! you’re being extremely productive!

both of you are doing an amazing job at hiding your mutual (except none of you know it’s mutual) attraction!

so as you walk out the library beside peter some time later, you’re smiling softly, because even if your massive crush isn’t reciprocated, you and peter can maybe at least be friends by the end of this, right?

he didn’t even look like he detested you as much as usual today

maybe that’s because he was pretty much forced into cooperating with you because of this project, but you even caught him smiling at you today, so he must be warming up to you

which is great news, of course

peter swallows down his fear and the excessive amount of spit that is coating his tongue and turns to you

‘so, this was really fun’

you tilt your head, mildly horrified at his words

‘we need to stage you an intervention if a science project is something you classify as ‘fun’’

‘no, i mean, the science was kinda boring. spending time with you was really fun. ….right?’

oh good, he isn’t actually a complete monster who does science for fun

(he totally is but you don’t need to know that)

‘yeah! hanging out was really fun, even if we had to spend that time doing work’

you shudder and cringe when you mention ‘work’, because there are much more interesting things you’d rather be doing with peter

👀

‘yep.’

‘yeeep.’

‘so, we should meet up again to work on this… project. right?’ you’re shifting your weight and darting your eyes across the floor, desperately avoiding peter’s gaze.

‘yeah!!’

oof maybe that was a little too enthusiastic. maybe you didn’t notice?

‘i mean, yeah… yeah, totally. sounds… chill.’

oh god that’s worse isn’t it

‘great!’

cue awkward silence

‘so… um… can I maybe have your number?’

you stare blankly at him trying to conceal your excitement because did PETER PARKER just ask for YOUR number?!?!?!

oh no why aren’t you saying anything crapcrapcrap this is peter’s first time asking for ANYONE’S number did he mess up oh no he messed up didn’t he.

‘you know, for the project!!!!! haha!!!!’

oh. of course he wouldn’t actually want your number

*sigh these oblivious fucks I stg i’m the one who’s actually writing this and I want to throttle them*

‘oh… yeah, no problem! um, here’s my number’

‘cool! i’ll text you then!’

from peter p [12:48]

Hey y/n!! Um this is Peter btw. Peter Parker. From science class.

to peter p [12:49]

hey peter!

from peter p [12:49]

So if it’s cool w u do you want to meet up at my place? For the project haha, just figured a change of scenery might be nice. The library can get a little bit boring sometimes.

to peter p [12:49]

yeah sounds cool just send me ur address and i’ll be over after skl tdy if that’s ok

from peter p [12:50]

Yep awesome see u then

to peter p [12:50]

see u! :))

 that smiley face almost makes his heart burst god he’s so whipped for you.

then the panic kicks in.

‘OHMYGOD Y/N Y/L/N IS COMING OVER.’

peter spends like three hours making sure the apartment is SPOTLESS.

spends like half an hour trying to decide whether he should take down all the Star Wars memorabilia down from his walls

like, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a DORK.

(too late peter)

but then ultimately keeps them up, partly because shit you’re coming in like 5 minutes he doesn’t have time for this

but also, you’re a nice person! you surely won’t make fun of him for having a knockoff replica of the death star in his room.

hopefully

oh god if you make fun of him for being a Star Wars nerd he will break down in tears HE HAS TO TAKE THEM DOWN

*ding*

fuck

peter stands up from his spinney chair abruptly and scrambles towards front door.

he spent some time this morning with Aunt May for girl advice and nothing really came out of that except a very traumatizing safe sex talk and some teasing that he will never be able to erase from his memory.

he takes a fast detour and quickly stops in front of the bathroom mirror on his way to open the door, desperately trying to tame the mop of curls and his head.

did I put on deodorant this morning? crap I brushed my teeth right?

*ding*

FUCK

peter stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath and-

‘hey!’ a strangled greeting comes out of his throat but hopefully you don’t notice how nervous he is.

you don’t, because this is oblivious shit!reader

‘hi peter!’

peter is suddenly very aware of how long you have been standing outside.

‘oH! sorry, um come in!!’ he says, opening the door wider and welcoming you in with (overly?) enthusiastic arms.

‘yeah! make yourself at home and everything. you want a drink or something?’

‘water would be nice.’

peter sprints to the kitchen to get you some ICE COLD water in his favourite mug.

peter parker’s apartment is covered with cosy furniture and photos of him and another middle aged woman. half those photos are him and that woman smiling brightly into the camera.

there’s a photo that’s nicely framed above the mantle that shows a young peter beaming in front of a birthday cake, with that same woman and another unknown middle aged man smiling down at him. the photo is clearly old and crumpled, even with the frame around it.

peter looks so happy in that photo…

huh. baby peter is just as adorable as he is now.

you jump away from the photo when you hear his footsteps coming back into the living room. something about the photo seemed emotional, personal. it just didn’t seem like something you should be looking at.

peter comes back clutching two mugs and hands one to you.

‘nice place!’

‘oh, thanks… yeah my Aunt isn’t home right now, she’s downtown meeting some friends, so we have the place to ourselves……’

‘so we can study uninterrupted.’ he says.

oh of course, studying!! yep that’s exactly where your mind went when peter said the apartment was empty aHaH.

peter’s room is a little less adult than the rest of his apartment, flooded with polaroids of him and Ned, with Star Wars posters on the walls.

you ignore the pang of jealousy that you feel when you spot a photo of MJ and peter grinning in front of a bowling alley.

so for the next two hours you two are in peter’s room… studying vigorously.

you would be 100% lying if you said you weren’t disappointed only studying happened.

the weird thing is???

every time you would look down at your textbook to explain something about periodic motion peter seemed to be looking at you when you looked up?

well, looking at you isn’t very weird, looking at someone while they’re talking is just basic manners. but when you looked back he would snap his eyes straight back to his own textbook, nodding and wordlessly agreeing with whatever you had just said.

maybe it’s just your imagination but the way he looked at you, it’s almost a loving, caring gaze.

oh god who are you kidding, it’s just your brain and imagination playing tricks on you.

you’re alone with peter parker in his bedroom!! these things are going to happen!

‘hey you want to take a break? we’ve been going at this for a whole hour now.’ peter says, craning his neck to take a look at the clock on the wall.

‘has it really been a whole hour?’ you lean back in your chair looking up at the ceiling.

‘yeah okay. let’s have a small break then.’

peter picks up both of your mugs and heads off to the kitchen, groaning slightly when he stretches his legs out for the first time in an hour.

*a/n: apologies in advance to those with nut allergies*

he comes back with both your mugs refilled with (water for you, gatorade for peter) and a small bag of almonds for you to snack on.

‘oh hey! almonds are my study snack of choice too!’

‘yeah, i know’ peter says carelessly, scrolling down his phone.

‘i don’t like almonds all that much, but i bought a few packs this morning on the way to school.’

hm,, wHat

‘if… you don’t like almonds why would you get them for me?’

‘because you like almonds.’

blink.

b l i n k

it takes a bit of time for peter to realise what just came out of his mouth.

‘i meAn! I’M NOT A STALKER I SWEAR. i just see you at school sometimes and you always have a small pack of these to snack on whenever you’re doing work so i thought,, you know, since we’re doing WORK, i should buy some for you… so you won’t get hungry!!!’ he’s wailing nonsensical excuses and apologies by now.

huh.

peter parker knows that you snack on almonds when you study, and bought a pack for you even though he doesn’t like them at all.

maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

you tear apart the packaging and stuff an almond in your mouth, your traitorous lips slowly threatening to curl into a huge smile.

(despite how much you fight against it, you end up with a slightly demonic looking huge smile on your face, which you attempt to hide by stuffing more almonds in your mouth)

(you now look like a chipmunk)

(but a cute one!!!!)

meanwhile peter is trying to hide the feeling of humiliation by resting his face in his hands, because he literally just exposed himself. he will not be able to take it if he looks back up at your face and you’re laughing at him for this stupid crush.

to his surprise, he does not look up to find you mocking his love for you, but instead, he finds you with a mouth full of almonds, struggling to chew and swallow them all without looking like a disgusting fool.

oh.

that’s kinda cute.

after a good five minutes of you trying to force like 10 almonds down your esophagus,  you clear your throat and awkwardly blurt out a ‘thank you’

‘for the almonds! it’s cute how you bought them for me because you knew how much i like to snack on them while i study. that’s really sweet of you. i guess you really don’t hate me all that much, huh?’ the last sentence comes out teasingly, a playful smile gracing your lips, but instead of uwu-ing over your cute smile, peter’s just confused.

‘why would i hate you?’ he says, his eyebrows laced together in confusion.

‘well, i always kinda got the impression that you didn’t like me… all that much? i never really knew why. hey, why did you hate me so much before this? if i accidentally did something at the start of the year that pissed you off, i’m sorry.’

your playful smile fades a little bit as you see peter basically collapse on himself just due to sheer GRIEVANCE.

‘WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HATED YOU?’ peter yells out, probably annoying the neighbours with how fucking loud he is, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care right now.

‘you… didn’t?’ you say, now becoming just as confused as peter.

he shakes his head aggressively, bringing his fingers up to his temples.

‘but… you always seemed so jumpy around me! and you would never really talk to me, and that one time i asked you for a pencil, you looked like you were dying or something! i always just thought you didn’t like me!’

oh

my

god

peter doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.

‘that’s not because I HATED YOU!! that’s because- i mean- i always thought-’ he’s still yelling and at this point one of the neighbours are definitely going to come knocking to complain, but peter still doesn’t care, because he’s currently having an existential crisis.

ohmygod all this time my CRUSH thought I HATED HER because I couldn’t function like a normal human being in front of her because of how much I liked her until i gave her some ALMONDS what is wrong with me? what kind of entity that controls the universe could hate me so much to pull THIS kind of sick prank on me?

‘wait if you didn’t hate me why would you always act so weird in front of me?’

‘BECAUSE-’ peter tangles his fingers into his hair, and he kicks his chair, sending it halfway across his room from frustration.

‘how could you possibly think I hated you??? how could you possibly think ANYONE could hate you??? you’re single handedly the only good person in this godforsaken school full of IDIOTS and BULLIES! nobody could ever hate you, y/n, and certainly not ME!’

perhaps he is using an excessive amount of hand gestures, but it gets his point across.

‘wha-? what do yo-?’

‘wHat are you TALKING ABOUT?’ you say, slowly turning just as frustrated as peter.

‘if there’s ANYONE that’s decent in this ‘godforsaken school full of idiots’ it would be YOU, peter parker!! nobody would just pay attention to what I EAT so I wouldn’t get HUNGRY during a study session oKaY!! you’re so CONFUSING! every time I accept the fact that you don’t like me back you pull this bullshit, essentially making me rethink ALL MY FEELINGS!’ you say, going through the room (stepping over the toppled chair), just to jab a finger onto peter’s chest.

suddenly both of you are aware of your flushed cheeks and your close proximity.

‘wha- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?’ peter basically shrieks, and you would not be surprised if all of New York managed to hear that scream.

your cheeks darken as you awkwardly step back from him, realising that you accidentally outed yourself.

‘um- i mean,’ you stumble on the fallen chair as you desperately walk backwards with your hands behind your back to avoid peter’s piercing gaze.

*you’re not good at confrontation okay*

‘you like me?? wait wait, you like ME?’ you frown a little as you look at peter’s incredulous expression.

‘well yeah, you don’t have to rub it in like that, I know you don’t like me back.’ You mumble, looking away.

‘don’t like yo- OH MY GOD!’

this time peter stalks all the way across the room, looking you dead straight in the eye.

‘you better not be joking with me, y/n.’

you squeak out a small ‘no’ or something like that because you can’t really focus with peter looking down at you like that.

‘you mean to tell me, my stupid fat, nervous crush on you was mistaken for HATRED, and all this time I’ve been thinking I have no chance with you, but you’ve been crushing on me too all this time?’ his words come out jumbled, and a little fast, but you can decipher the general meaning.

peter parker likes you… too.

oh GOD WAT

he clears his throat, biting his lip and you can just tell he’s about to apologise, because peter’s a complete angel who probably doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable.

‘um- uh, y- oomph!’

and in this shocking turn of events, you execute the only spontaneous thing you’ve ever done in your life and pray that it ends up well.

you lean forward and press your lips to peter’s, hoping to whatever superior being there is that this was a good decision.

spoiler alert: it was

peter.exe has shut down because all of a sudden your lips are against his and oh wow this is so much better than all those times he’s imagined it happening because it’s actually happening now.

your hands find their way to peter’s curls that he was trying so hard to get under control an hour ago but now he can’t remember why he doesn’t like his hair if it’s just going to be tugged on by you like this from now on.

he grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer to him, pretty much pressing his body against yours.

not that you’re complaining.

and god if peter died from suffocation right now that would be a heavenly way to go, and he would be a-ok with dying if it meant finally being in your arms.

you pull away from peter, both of you slightly panting before you burst out in giggles, resting your head and letting it fall on peter’s shoulder.

‘oh my god, we’re such idiots, aren’t we?’

peter hums in agreement before lifting your chin up to kiss you again.

 bonus: boyfriend! peter

definitely still stares at you in science class except now whenever you catch him staring he just shoots you a lazy grin

because yEa he has FULL RIGHTS to stare at you now because you’re his GIRLFRIEND.

you find out he’s spiderman pretty much immediately let’s be real this boy is not the best at hiding secrets

especially from his GIRLFRIENDS whomst he loves VERY MUCH.

this boy also gives you anxiety attacks whenever you see spiderman on the news saving people, getting hurt and shit, but he understands.

sends you a text before and after he gets in the suit whenever he can.

most certainly uses his spidey-powers for things they were not intended to be used for.

to visit his girlfriend so she can give him cuddles at any time why what were you guys thinking about hMmmMMMmmmM?

likes to show you off but also gets very blushy and shy about PDA

pretty much had a seizure the first time you held hands.

ned almost fainted when he heard the news (aka peter rushed to call him the second you left that night you kissed because these bitches are very gossipy)

peter parker is the ultimate clingy boyfriend.

……

and you love it.

your science teacher no longer puts you in the same group or partners you guys up now though.

because now you can’t study together, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other.

sometimes when peter is feeling ~particularly clingy he just nuzzles into the crook of your neck during lunch, and pulls you to him so you’re pretty much on his lap.

and MJ is just like yall r disgusTING

right in front of my salad.

in conclusion, peter parker loves you and you love him.

it’s honestly kind of sickening,

but you love that too.

[dolphiana]

People’s statements concerning Corona...

You know what time it is? Rant time! Because I spent waaaay too much time on Facebook and Twitter and read SO much ( excuse my words ) bullshit, that I need to talk about it. A disturbing amount of people still think this whole Corona mess is fake, a conspiracy, „just a flu“ or a bioweapon attack. Of course a random Youtuber, influencer or guy on Twitter is smarter than all scientists, doctors and politicians combined because they „woke up and see through everything that happens“ right now.

I guess they inhaled too much toxin while making their tinfoil hats, but let's take a closer look at those statements.

- „Corona is fake, people are not dying from it, they die from the panic that is caused!“

So hundreds, no, thousands of people are suffocating and their lungs are giving up because of media information? They hear that they are not allowed to go shopping at the mall anymore and gasp for air? They realize that restaurants are closed and that they have to cook meals themselves now and drop dead from the shock? Seriously?

- „It's a conspiracy, THEY want to control us, THEY want to change the system and distract from other things!“ None of those morons ever mentions who exactly THEY are. Lizard people? Illuminati? Toilet paper manufacturers? We'll never know.

Anyway, someone who seriously thinks that should think further. Why should THEY do this? The global economy is crashing, borders are closed, tens or hundreds of thousands have or will lose their jobs, people have to stay at home, governments have to invest billions to save their countries. Newsflash, governments usually want to earn money, not spend it.

More unemployment = less tax revenues.

Basically it's like someone usually earning $2000 per month, then suddenly they have to pay high bills for their broken car, get a new computer to continue working and help their sick parents while suddenly only earning half of their income.

And seriously, can you imagine all leaders of the world sitting down on one table in a secret Fortress of Evil and scheming a plan to terrorize and enslave humanity? Most of them only care for their own country and why would anyone risk driving their own country against the wall?

- „It's just a flu, lots of people die from the flu, it's normal.“ The flu  doesn't affect the lungs that badly and people's bodies often simply give up and they die at home. Corona directly attacks the lungs and many of those who catch it badly need to be taken to intensive care unit and be intubated. It's way more contagious than the flu and the dangerous part is that most people will never know they actually had it, but ran around and infected others who could die from it. The death rate is higher than the flu. Flu : roughly 0,1% Corona : 2-10% ( Numbers vary from source to source, but it's definitely higher than the flu. )

- „In Germany 25000 people died from it in 2017/2018, the country didn't shut down because of that either.“

I checked those numbers. 25000 is a rough estimation, including deaths where flu was assumed to be involved in the deaths. The cases that were actually tested and proven were less than 1700.

By the way, a flu season lasts 5 months and the Corona craze merely started a few weeks ago. Just saying.

The main problem here seems to be that people can't think ahead. Exponential increase is too complicated for their simple little minds. Corona spreads like crazy, so with the aforementioned higher death rate, if more people get infected then more will die. The only reason we don't have more deaths yet is because governments took action and everyone tries to keep the number of infections low.

So what do you want? Every country waiting for the number of Corona deaths to surpass those of the average flu first and only then starting to do something against it? I'm convinced those people would be the first ones to scream „Why did no one do anything sooner!?“

-“It's a bio weapon from China which they used against us!“ Nevermind the fact that a team of international and independent scientists examined the virus last month already and assured it's natural. Even if it spread from the Wuhan Institute of Virology accidentally, that's what it was, an accident. Why on Earth would they want to endanger their own people? Their economy? Everything?

-“The average age of the Italian people who died from Corona is 79. The average lifespan there is 83. It's all normal, nature and such.“ Wow, just...wow. I wonder if they would still be as cold and heartless when their own parents or grandparents died a painful death from lack of air. „Well, sorry, Mom, you're 67, no one lives forever.“ Average means that there are older and younger people. Some are in their 90s, 80s, 70s, but some also are far younger than that. My grandma, for example, is 93 and still pretty healthy for her age. Someone who died because of Corona in their 70s could have lived for another decade or two.

-“There's only a risk for old and sick people, I'm young and healthy so I don't care. Survival of the fittest. I still wanna go out and have fun!“ Oh, so you risk the health/life of your parents, grandparents and lots of others just because you can't keep your damn ass on the couch? Survival of the fittest, natural selection....you're lucky that intelligence and empathy don't have anything to do with it or you'd be screaming bloody murder and begging for someone to finally end your suffering already.

Btw, there are numerous cases of young people ( we're talking around age 30 here ), who never smoked, are athletic and never had any health problems.

-“Corona is the revenge for those old white people causing climate change!“ Does anyone else get the urge to slap those who seriously said that? I do. Those old white people are your and your friends' parents and grandparents! The people who worked all day to afford your lifestyle, to buy you smartphones, computers and nice clothes, put food on your table, drove you around the town, took you on vacation, spoiled your ungrateful asses! For months young people went on the streets demonstrating for change, for realization what's happening around us, for actions. And now many of them ( not all of course ) prove that all they care about is themselves and that they're not an inkling better or even much worse than the „old white people“ they see as the ultimate enemy.

-“I keep hearing about hospitals being overcrowded, that's new, never was a problem before so why is everyone locked at home now?“ You probably lived under a rock for the past years, but hospitals are understaffed everywhere. Keep in mind that there are not only Corona patients needing medical help or a bed at the intensive care unit. Think of all the other reasons why someone needs to be at the hospital. Illnesses, cancer, tumors, heart attacks, strokes, pregnancy, broken bones and the normal flu. Those don't suddenly stop because Corona showed up. If hospitals are overcrowded because of Corona patients then people who have something not Corona-related will also be in danger because if they don't get the medical help they need then they could die as well.

Imagine you or someone close to you has a car accident and there's no hospital that can give the help which is needed, resulting in death. Taking the situation more serious now? China didn't quickly build 16 emergency hospitals just for fun.

There's probably more I wanted to mention, but I guess this journal is long enough already. To anyone who read it, thank you. Please feel free to use this against everyone who still doesn't take this situation seriously.

Be safe, everyone. We're in this together. *virtual hugs*

[calford91]

Racism is real.

Excuse me for this, but I need to say something about what’s going on concerning these issues like that Karen and George Lynch. I will be real blunt here. If this offends you, don’t read it. First, Imma say this, there’s no such thing as post-racial America. Racism has always been here, but why? One if you think that racism exists because people talk about, you’re stupid af. Does Firemen talking fires create more fires? No. So stop that.

As said by the quote, racism is about power, not morality. That’s why racism stays afloat in this country because it actually benefits it. Racism is privilege/predujice plus power. You must have power to be racist. Racism is about a system that favors one race over others. Racism is about targeting marginalized races through institutional violence or discrimination. Lynchings, blackface, segregated buildings, gerrymandering, racial violence and killings, gentrification, not serving marginalized races, workplace discrimination, persecution of immigrants, police violence, assimilation, economic/income inequality, mass imprisonment, racial profiling, sacred land being disrespected, poor environmental/economic/working conditions are examples. Our government is responsible for keeping racism alive, from the beginning to right now. They either supported it, let it happened, or did nothing. The 13th Amendment never ended racism nor did integration. I’m all for desegregation, but the push for integration was a waste because it did nothing to protect us (Black people) from racism, it just assimilated us. You can’t integrate without any social or economic justice. MLK warned us about it.

If we’re living in a post racial society, why are there still, KKK, Neo Nazis, and all types of fascists and white supremacists running around? Why are there still places that are segregated? I see this a lot in my home state Mississippi, and other southern states. And it’s not just there, it’s everywhere. There is just as much racism and segregation in other regions like the Midwest and the Pacific States. For example, progressive cities like Portland, Seattle, Austin, San Francisco, NYC, Boston and yes Minneapolis have racism. Why are worshipping racist imagery like the CONfederacy (it’s dead and no more), plantations, famous people that we known racists this includes politicians and presidents? We still have the issues of racism like the aforementioned ways of institutional violence and discrimination still going on and our government (alluvem) did nothing. They’ve let the beast grow stronger and it’s gonna continue until we stop it.

What I need to add about racism being still alive is that its been normalized and/or no one gave a damn about it. Racism is more than just hating on skin color or calling people racist slurs, stop looking at the Webster definition. Racism is also about ways how to support the racist system. Examples: Falsely calling the police, supporting a reason why a Black person or POC should get killed, policing Black people/POC on racism, denying racism, fetishizing us and our culture, complaining about us winning awards and pageants, getting roles that are usually reserved for whites, stereotyping, and moving on up in the workplace, All Lives Matter, what about Black on Black crime despite every race doing some crime, okaying removal of Indigenous land, supporting racist politicians, branding nonChristians as terrorists, supporting that immigrants should be treated terribly because they crossed the border despite the fact that this country is originally Indigenous land, angry about the kneeling protests, putting MLK in yo mouth, wisecracking jokes about us like something about welfare or unemployment, saying words like thugs, animals, ghetto, criminals to describe Black folks, issa lot. Here’s a pyramid too.

But what about racism by Black people? Don’t be silly. We can be douches to y’all, but we (along with Indigenous people) can’t be racist to y’all because we don’t have the power to actively discriminate against y’all. If you want reverse discrimination, then look at Planet of the Apes. The apes are rulers of their planet, while the humans are oppressed. That’s what it looks like.

Now on the Karen (Imma call her on that) and George Lynch. So the Karen had the audacity to call the police on Christian Cooper because she couldn’t control her dog. This is a historical problem. Women like her have accused Black men of harming them, when it was a lie, and it got Black people killed. Emmett Till, Tulsa riots, Rosewood, Scotsboro Case, the Central Park Five are examples. On George Lynch, it was murder by the police. Police violence is institutional because it’s made to target marginalized people especially Black and Brown people, women, poor people, immigrants, LBGT people especially trans people (the ones y’all treat like garbage, despite the fact that all they wanna do is live life), and it’s not a few bad seeds, it’s a majority. There are cops that are good people, but that don’t mean anything. And the riots that happen, it’s not an act of recklessness, it’s a rebellion. Riots been happening since ever. There were riots when MLK was killed, the Vietnam War happening, when Black people were getting killed or brutalized by the police like Rodney King (LA), Mike Brown (Ferguson), Freddie Gray (Baltimore), and now George Lynch (Minneapolis). If you can’t put 1 and 1 together, then you’re the problem. These riots are because they’re angry at the system that keep targeting people like them. Keep in mind that these people are targeting corporations and the state not people. It really shows that you care about property than human lives. BTW, where’s all that energy for Tulsa and Rosewood, the KKK, Rioting over sports, Rioting over that creepy coach from Penn State, and those anti-quarantine protestors with racist imagery who’s armed with guns and been blocking ambulances? I don’t see y’all saying anything bout them. This also ties into other issues. Y’all have a problem with rebellious violence, but not a problem with going to another country and destroying it?

I’m so dang tired, y’all and stuff like this happens not just the people who do it, but the people who refuse to acknowledge it or do nothing about it. Look at the quote above. If y’all ain’t gonna do anything about it, you’ve chosen a side. Lemme tell y’all something, your ignorance, apathy, apologism, colorblindless tone policing, and reactionary behavior contributes to stuff like this. If ain’t gonna be anti-racist, then sit down and shut up. Stop with this crap like I don’t see color or we’re the same. Our race matters. We ain’t the same as you. We’re different from you. We don’t have the same luxuries and lifestyles as you. Stop thinking we can make it far as you. We got blocks in our way. You don’t.

All the things that I’ve mentioned about concerning racism is why we kneel (I see nothing wrong with it). Y’all upset with people kneeling, but y’all think that all types bigots and reactionary trash should have free speech. Rioting happens because of injustice against marginalized people. If you can’t see that, you’re lost. As Malcolm X said, the chickens are coming home to roost. What about all that stuff they’ve taken? Screw dat stuff. These multi-millionaire and billionaire companies got the money to save themselves. Property can be replaced, not human lives. Speaking of that, why ain’t you mad that these corporations have doubled, tripled their wealth during this crisis?

Now to allies because Imma see who y’all riding with. One of the worse things you can do is center yourselves or one of your kinfolk into issues like this. It’s not about you. If y’all are all talk, no action then you fake as hell. If you doing this cuz you saw the video, then it’s not genuine because you had all time to do so. If you see someone being racist or just being a huge reactionary ass, CALL THEM OUT ON IT! It’s time to hold these people accountable or if they can’t comply, cancel them. If you see someone doing something to Black people, stop em. There’s Google, y’all need to look up the history of Black people not only in America, but the world, because anti-Blackness is global. This includes Indigenous people too. Understand how colonialism work because that’s how stuff like this happens. Support Black people financially such as Mutual Aids, helping out when they’re down financially, and sending money to Black owned anything. The founder of Little Ceaser’s helped paid for Rosa Parks’ living. Fight for better working, living conditions for us. If you see something wrong, speak out. Don’t be a white savior. You ain’t doing this for validity. You’re doing this because it’s what you’re supposed to do. Don’t listen to the media, because they’re full of lies (alluvem). I’m finished y’all. Here some more quotes: