#this is tame for Patrick. it will get worse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

venussaidso · 10 months ago

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𝗞𝗲𝘁𝘂 𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀 — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 1) 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏𝟎

disclaimer: spoilers for all movies or shows mentioned.

the warnings: mentions of drug abuse, sexual violence, self-harm, genocide, mental disorders/illnesses, cannibalism and self amputation.

The most interesting theme within all the Ketu nakshatras was one that was unexpected, as it is common to mainly associate Ketu with concepts of disconnection or isolation from society as a whole -- since Ketu is often linked with the 12H. But it is more about the interactions with the unseen forces within society more than anything. Because the 12H also represents the collective's consciousness and all the interconnected energies that come with that which Ketu becomes possessed by. And it is Ashwini that is the most sensitive Ketu nakshatra, as it easily becomes consumed & absorbed by these 12H energies which often leads to chaos and loneliness.

Ashwini nakshatra embodies Nothingness which is the oldest energy in the universe. It's between a space before actualized creation, and after the rise of awareness that's emerged from Nothingness (or the Cosmic Void). It is very fitting that this is the first nakshatra; but it should also be considered the last as it essentially represents the non-duality of Life & Death. This theme is further extended in Bharani and beautifully explored in that nakshatra, but in Ashwini we focus on the spirit's evolution. The energy found in this nakshatra is as undeveloped as it is chaotic, which is why evolution needs to take place -- and this usually involves extreme harsh forces to tame it. It is in Ashwini where there's confusion or lack of self-awareness of one's own identity as energies here become repressed, unconsciously accumulating. I'm going to use some films as examples to explore this point.

First, I'm going to use the most typical Ketu-coded character. Ashwini Moon Christian Bale's Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho". This film follows an investment banker who relishes in the wealthy excesses of his superficial lifestyle in which everybody else around him also revels in. His life is empty, mostly revolving around getting into exclusive restaurants, wallowing in designer suits, having a meticulous morning routine etc. There's a pressure in general for conformity and Ashwini is sensitive to these energies which they take up, driving them to compete and also go too far with this -- because it's no longer about conforming anymore. It's become an obsession, and these pressures drive Patrick Bateman into homicidal tendencies as an outlet. This film perfectly encapsulates modern-day consumerisms, and it is of course an Ashwini native who is driven into a descent of madness from this empty, superficial culture he's subjected to.

Nothing can fill up the emptiness inside of him and he knows that. This crippling, painful understanding is what continuously manifests his violent self-hatred and hatred towards others. And this is why he is forever trapped in a cycle of loneliness, as he is surrounded by the same narcissistic, self-absorbed suits who will continue to maintain this soulless, superficial culture.

The movie was adapted from the book with the same name, written by Mula Moon Bret Easton Ellis whose own experiences inspired the book "American Psycho".

Quote from an interview; OregonLive (2010);

"[Patrick Bateman] did not come out of me sitting down and wanting to write a grand sweeping indictment of yuppie culture. It initiated because my own isolation and alienation at a point in my life. I was living like Patrick Bateman. I was slipping into a consumerist kind of void that was supposed to give me confidence and make me feel good about myself but just made me feel worse and worse and worse about myself. That is where the tension of 'American Psycho' came from... It came from a much more personal place."

-- Mula Moon Bret Easton Ellis

Now, onto the movie "Fight Club", which was directed by Magha Sun David Fincher, and stars Magha Sun Edward Norton and Mula Sun Brad Pitt.

The most highlighted character from this film, played by Brad Pitt, is Tyler Durden, who plans on making a revolution to destroy the hyper-capitalistic, materialistic superficial culture that we saw destroy Patrick Bateman from the inside in "American Psycho".

(video - 🎧)

Of course, just like Ashwini Moon Patrick Bateman took his obsessive consumerism too far; Mula Sun Tyler Durden lays on the opposite spectrum -- aiming to destroy modern society by blowing up all credit card companies and ruining the world's economy. Mula is related to destruction as it is ruled by Nirriti, the goddess of destruction. The oppressive forces that weigh on this Mula character, Tyler Durden, causes him into a spiral for freedom (9H), using extremities and acts of terrorism to be rid of ego/society. Whereas Ashwini, having no solid identity and just being undeveloped in nature, is more likely to conform; but so long as Ketu is there, there will always be an emptiness in the ambitious pursuit of things. Ashwini can grant excess wealth and fame, but with no inner fulfillment or balance, you see characters like Patrick Bateman. Or Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood".

A movie directed by Paul Thomas Anderson who has Ketu in Magha, and stars Ashwini Moon, Mula Ascendant Daniel Day Lewis who portrays Daniel Plainview. Plainview is more Ashwini, as he is an extremely ambitious, capitalistic and competitive oilman.

His pursuit for wealth and power leads him to personal loneliness, isolation and emptiness -- we see how Ketuvians become so drained and eaten alive by the energies they absorb in the pursuit of things. Similarly to Patrick Bateman, he not only hates others but himself and wishes for no one to succeed in life.

(click on the gif(s) if they're buffering lmao, i swear they're cheap)

His primal competitiveness and self-loathing even drives away his only family -- his only child. His adult son means to do his own oilrig business and cuts his partnership with him. But Plainview's unchecked ambition shows that even after attaining success and power, he literally goes ahead to disown his own son as he considers him competition now. And now he extends the same hatred he has for others to him. Further isolating himself; this validating his deep sense of loneliness that was always there with his self-loathing.

The film ends in an Ashwini fashion; in which Plainview goes into a psychotic meltdown and murders someone who he has had a long stewing hatred for.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

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I wanted to provide a brilliant video from the YouTuber "The Vile Eye", who explored the dark nature of this character; because it perfectly illustrates Ashwini nakshatra in a twisted way -- especially in how Aries in this segment is influenced by Ketu forces. Everything about this character is every Aries stereotype you can think of from the top of your head, but Ketu exaggerates it to the point of extremity and tragedy.

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Amazing video for anyone who wants to understand Ashwini at its extreme which can manifest in real life of course.

Now in the series "Peaky Blinders", which I quickly wanted to mention, stars Ashwini Moon Cillian Murphy whose character faces moral dilemmas, as his relentless pursuit of power contributes to his moral ambiguity.

His ruthless ambition to become the most powerful in the criminal underworld is something I couldn't help but relate it back to Ashwini's drive & competitiveness.

The movie "Scarface" stars Ashwini Sun Al Pacino who plays Tony Montana. And fun fact, Tony Montana is loosely based and inspired by the real-life figure, Al Capone, who was literally a goddamn Ashwini Moon. So, I say Scarface is a fucking Ashwini movie.

Both Tony Montana and Al Capone had unchecked ambitions and an unrelenting desire for power. In Ashwini, extreme power can be attained, and we saw how Tony Montana quickly rose to it (as Ashwini is the Star of Transport and it is associated with Shidhra Vyapani Shakti which translates to 'The Power to Quickly Reach Things'). Similarly, Al Capone was also driven by the desire for power and he attained it.

Like Daniel Plainview in "There Will Be Blood", Tony Montana starts to experience isolation after all of his achievements. His chaotic behaviour contributes to his alienation, and he starts to feel intensifying loneliness, which seems to be a theme with this nakshatra. And this film also ends in Ashwini fashion; with absolute chaos, the psychotic unraveling of Tony and of course death.

I wanted to also add in the movie "Nightcrawler" which stars Mula Sun Jake Gyllenhaal who plays a character willing to go to the extreme lengths for success and personal achievement, to the point of exploiting others and not giving two fucks about ethical boundaries.

He has a distorted view of success and has an unchecked, ruthless ambition which is common in Ketu nakshatras. He is also a socially isolated character, behaving inappropriately as he is disconnected from social norms. He has zero empathy. In his obsessive & relentless pursuit of success, he is devoid of humanity. Had to mention this film because these themes are not exclusive to Ashwini.

But as I did mention, Mula is more likely to be aware of societal pressures and these natives often feel deeply disturbed by them -- while Ashwini is more focused on the Self, as it's ruled by the 1H. In the film "Falling Down", Mula Moon Michael Douglas plays a character who has become disillusioned and is now aware of the pressures and oppression caused by the modern-day life. This movie is literally directed by Magha Sun Joel Schumacher.

He confronts many issues such as homelessness and crime, which are heavily rooted in the greedy, capitalistic system of modern society. But he becomes violent and chaotic himself, going into a descent to madness (from absorbing the energies felt by the collective who also feel the weight of these oppressive forces within society). This movie deals with the consequences of unchecked rage, a theme shared in all Ketu nakshatras.

The film "Taxi Driver", which stars Magha Sun Robert De Niro and is directed by Magha Ascendant Martin Scorsese, depicts a man who suffers from extreme loneliness, alienation from society, and struggles with existential crisis. The film explores social decay; such as social disparities, the disillusionment of our main character to society's ills, crime, poverty etc. He goes into a descent into vigilantism, using violence as a catharsis which is a common thing for these Ketu nakshatras (mainly Magha and Mula as it looks at societal frustrations and the emptiness in life/modern culture).

The character also suffers from a possible case of untreated mental illness, and insomnia -- and this seems to be a theme with all Ketu nakshatras in general.

Another film where the main character suffers from extreme insomnia is "The Machinist", starring Ashwini Moon Christian Bale whose character's insomnia and untreated mental illness literally contribute to his isolation and alienation.

will be coming back to this film in my part 2 post

And the film "Fight Club", in which Magha Sun Edward Norton plays an insomniac character who has dissociative identity disorder. And his split personality is interestingly played by Mula Sun Brad Pitt.

Then we have the film "Insomnia", directed by Ketu in Magha Christopher Nolan, starring Ashwini Sun Al Pacino who plays an insomniac detective who faces some mental challenges.

There is a spiritual belief about insomnia, which suggests that there may be a disturbance in one's spirit; unresolved issues that have been long suppressed can be linked to an imbalance of energy within the body. This causes restlessness and more mental problems. This could make sense as Ketu and the 12H deal with what is unconscious -- and how that tends to be our deep, rooted traumas and the way in which they affect us & those around us. And not just traumas, could just be repression of one's own internal suffering from either loneliness or external pressures. We see this with Patrick Bateman, whose only outlet is literal murder, or Tyler Durden's 'revolutionary' fight club causing more destruction around him as planned. Both characters violently act out from these unaddressed decaying energies within themselves and from within society.

The series "Sharp Objects", directed by Magha Moon Jean-Marc Vallé, mostly deals with family traumas, but also shows how those traumas and unresolved energies literally cause death and chaos around them.

Camille Preaker, who is played by Magha Sun Amy Adams, is deeply traumatized and troubled. She has a history of self-harm and has many scars on her body; her self-destructive behaviour is a coping mechanism for what happened when she was young (sexual violence by a group of boys and witnessing the slow, painful and preventative death of her sister). Then we have her younger half-sister Amma, played by Magha Moon Eliza Scanlen, who has a hidden dark side that has been shaped by the family's troubled history and generational trauma. By the end of the series, we find out that Amma is the killer of the violent murders that have shocked the townspeople of Wind Gap. It is Amma who is responsible for all of the gruesome deaths of the girls whose teeth were removed. As Camille's coping mechanism is cutting herself as self-punishment for all the guilt she harbours from the death of her sister, Amma literally commits homicidal acts. All of this connecting to just how messed up, and complex, their trauma and the community they grew up in is. And then we have their mother, played by Mula Moon Patricia Clarkson, who has Munchausen syndrome and is responsible for the death of her oldest daughter. Camille was a witness to her sister's suffering and death, and she sees her mother as a monster and now her little sister is an extension of her. This series is such a good example of how our own personal unchecked traumas affect others, especially those who aren't involved. And how much destruction can be caused, as we see with Amma killing other girls as an 'outlet'. This is why I now realize how wrong I was about Ketu, as Ketu is not necessarily about isolating from society. Regarding society, Ketu will be the complex yet intricate unaddressed/rotting energies within society, and it always relates back to individuals' personal generational traumas. It makes sense that Magha relates to ancestry roots and origins of oneself, even the origins of one's trauma.

Now onto the film "Nocturnal Animals", which is directed by Magha Sun Tom Ford, stars Magha Sun Amy Adams and Mula Sun Jake Gyllenhaal.

Amy Adams plays Susan who is a successful art gallery owner. She receives a manuscript for a novel called Nocturnal Animals sent to her by her ex-husband Edward who's played by Jake Gyllenhaal. The book is extremely violent & tragic; but it actually turns out to be a symbolic reflection of their relationship and marriage. Bringing in the Ketu themes of unresolved trauma and getting to the roots of it (Mula theme). This book serves to make Susan confront how much of her actions fucked him up. The movie focuses on the confronting of one's past, telling of how trauma will still continue to shape the lives of those involved. And the movie shows that even Susan still has unresolved issues just by her repulsed reactions to extreme parts of the novel.

The movies "Split" and "Glass", stars two Ashwini Suns, Anya Taylor Joy and James McAvoy. McAvoy's character, Kevin, has dissociative personality disorder and these different personalities exist to keep him safe. His trauma is so extreme and deeply painful that it manifested into the creation of The Beast, the most dangerous and superhuman personality. Three kidnapped girls are prey to The Beast as they end up being devoured by it but there is only one doesn't fall victim to him -- and that's Anya Taylor Joy's character Casey.

The reason why she doesn't fall victim is because she, too, has suffered extreme trauma and her resilience through it is what creates an immediate connection with Kevin. It is when The Beast sees her scars that he calls her pure, implying that those who have been damaged are the ones who are truly evolved.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

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Also, "Split" is another example of how deeply repressed energies and traumas of one can ruin everything around them and victimize those close to the Ketuvians (usually uninvolved people's lives being violently taken; "Split", "Sharp Objects", "American Psycho", "Falling Down" etc.).

Ashwini Moon Zendaya in the series "Euphoria" plays a character, Rue, who has been through a significant amount of trauma, including the passing of her father. She uses self-destructive ways to cope with her deep emotional pain and grief, very similarly to Magha Sun Amy Adams's character in "Sharp Objects". Rue uses drugs to numb herself from her harsh realities. There is a moment in the series in which she has a chaotic meltdown.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

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Something I now understand with Ashwini is how explosive, volatile and scary its ungrounded energy can be -- exactly why I'd commonly associate it with hysterical meltdowns which can lead to accidental or unplanned homicidal acts or other forms of harm/self-harm. This scene of Rue is vaguely taking me back to Ashwini Moon Christian Bale's spiraling and meltdowns in "American Psycho".

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

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Ketu, especially with Magha, seems to cause erratic behaviours when its natives aren't purified of their long-accumulated baggage in their unconsciousness -- exactly why the 8H is also ruled by Ketu as Scorpio shares this particular theme. As long as there is deep disturbance and imbalance in the body, there is no rest for the soul -- even for future incarnations to come.

But now, I want to touch on the senseless harshness of Ketu. Remember, this energy embodies the eternal sucking void. Mula nakshatra relates to the center of the cosmic void and goes straight into the roots of it. Ashwini has already risen from it, while Mula is centering itself back into it. Mula is where we seek an awakening to the truth of what is behind reality. What is on the other side of the cosmic void? Truth is searched in Mula, but it seems that it is Ashwini that understands that chaos is the absolute truth of reality. There is no meaning to anything, which sounds nihilistic, but it is what makes life beautiful.

In the film "The Pianist", written & directed by Magha Sun Roman Polanski, starring Ashwini Sun Adrien Brody, starts out quite warm with a well-put together family and a handsome talented Ashwini man who dreams of being a pianist. But things take a drastic turn. We see a once bright-eyed boy turn into the shell of the person he once was after going through such harrowing events, and things just keep getting tragically worse and worse until there is not even a sliver of hope anymore. The majority of the film is literally just despair, senseless cruelty, and the protagonist's soul slowly becoming annihilated.

I've never watched a film more Ketuvian than this; surrounded by genocide, death and being completely isolated while being eaten by one's own lonely misery.

One moment you think one character is going to make it out alive somehow because they have the conviction and drive to survive, but the film immediately takes that idea away as they helplessly die. You think the protagonist is going to see some light, and the film even makes you slightly comfortable in some moments given the harsh realities, but you witness just how everything remains tragic. There are no answers to any prayers, as suffering is just ongoing. This tonality creates another layer of feeling trapped, and you watch as the character just lets life do whatever it wants to him as he is trapped in a world where he is helpless anyway. With Ketu, you realize that there was never any security or answers to this senseless chaos in this world to begin with.

But his survival at the end makes you question why he even went through all of that. There was no lesson to be taken from such a tragic, horrifying experience. Why did his other friends and family die but not him? In the end, he became a successful pianist as he dreamt of from the beginning. He was exceptionally talented from the start; these events took everything away from him except his passion for the piano. What he went through was senseless, as Ketu has no prime motivation. Saturn will push you through the worst so that you can reach a level where you can now attain all of your reaped rewards, Ketu doesn't care for what you get in the end -- that's Rahu's objective, as Rahu deals with ego; Ketu deals with the evolution of one's soul and that usually involves its annihilation.

The kdrama "Save Me", stars three Ketu natives; Magha Moon Seo Yea-ji, Mula Moon Woo Do-hwan and Mula Sun Ok Taec-yeon. It follows Seo Yeah-ji's character, Sang-mi, and her family after moving into a new town. They become influenced and entangled by a religious cult. Sang-mi becomes aware of just how oppressive and dangerous the cult is when she & her family literally lose all control to them. Sang-mi's attempts to escape become futile, as she remains trapped under the oppressive abuse of the cult, turning her more into a shell of the person she once was.

(The Mula male characters are the ones who find out about the Magha girl's whereabouts, and they plan to save her and her family from the clutches of the cult.)

She witnesses extremely harrowing events, and the drama makes you feel the sense of hopelessness that she's feeling -- trapped and completely helpless no matter how much she tries to save herself and family. There is a similar sense of hopelessness and lose of one's own identity found in "The Pianist", but in this drama it's more about extreme involuntary isolation from society (which I will be expanding on in part 2 of this exploration).

The film "Society of the Snow" is literally directed by Ashwini Moon J.A. Bayona, based on real life events. There's a documentary based on these events as well, "Stranded: I've Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains", directed by Magha Moon Gonzalo Arijon.

Now, in the "Society of the Snow", there is a tone of hopelessness set in the film because of the gruesome reality that these characters (based on real life people) experience. And never in their lifetime did they think that everything was going to change so drastically from just living the average life of normal teenage boys. These characters, who were in a rugby team, get on a plane that would soon crash onto glacier surrounded by endless cold harsh mountains -- with just a piece of the wrecked plane remaining in which they take shelter in. The protagonists are surrounded by the dead bodies of friends who did not survive the crash, and now they must spend the first night in harsh coldness while many are severely injured. They couldn't even sleep, the first night being spent with many of them crying and wailing out loud, nearly freezing to death. One day after, a rescue helicopter searches for them, and they all scream out for help. But the helicopter misses them as they're barely noticeable under all the glacier that surrounds them. This is when the sense of hopelessness and despair kicks in and intensifies as the story progresses. Now that chances of being rescued have completely fallen to zero, they realize that they can't ignore their growing hunger anymore. They all have no choice but to eat the flesh of the dead bodies after running out of chocolates. We see how these decisions mentally challenge some of the characters. It is truly tragic as they were stranded, isolated from the world and completely in despair in every waking day, for a span of 72 days.

After being rescued, we see just how malnourished they were from the looks of their bodies. They come back home bone-skinny and weak. And the monologue in the ending scene tells us how the survivors wondered; "Why didn't we all get to come back [home]?" "What is the meaning of it all?" These are the questions asked when we observe these raw Ketu events.

Ashwini Moon J.A. Bayona also made the film "The Impossible", which is about survival and resilience -- based on real life events. Much like "Society of the Snow", it also has a sense of complete despair and there is an involuntary separation of a family (which reminds me of "The Pianist" in which Ashwini Sun Adrien Brody's character is also separated from his family in the story).

"Nothing is more powerful than the human spirit" it writes on the poster.

"Nowhere", is directed by Ashwini Moon Albert Pintó, a survival thriller about a pregnant woman who finds herself isolated from society as she's drifting in the sea trapped inside a container. Because of her newborn baby, she is forced to survive and protect her child even when there is no hope. The reason why she's even in the container is because she was fleeing a society of a dystopian future in which women & children are caged and murdered (Ketu's oppressive forces and her attempt to run away from them leads her to total isolation which is another manifestation of Ketu).

And we also have the film "127 Hours", directed by Ashwini Moon Danny Boyle, starring Ashwini Sun James Franco who plays Aron Ralston whose right arm becomes trapped against the canyon wall when he was on a solo canyoneering trip. When he is unable to release himself, we realize the severity of his situation. He is completely isolated and alone. His own supplies running out and he's losing his mind. The struggle for survival and one's own helplessness is a theme of Ashwini nakshatra as this eventually drives one into taking extreme measures for freedom -- as the audience sees him resorting to cutting his own arm off.

These themes seem to speak of the power and resilience of the human spirit, as emphasized in "The Impossible" and "Society of the Snow". Our ability to survive even just our own personal traumas must be a testament to our spirit being an extension of the Higher Power which is behind the happenings of all of these senseless yet significant experiences and events we go through.

It is in Ashwini that one's experience through harsh forces contributes to the spirit's evolution after total annihilation, which leads us on the path towards moksha. This is particularly why I state that Ashwini must be the last nakshatra, in my opinion of course.

Ketu is very pure by nature, and it wants to destroy impurities. The repression of one's accumulated dirt can manifest in destructive tendencies, this being a misdirected flow of Ketu energies wanting to express the very raw forces we're wired to run away from. By facing one's true inner self and embracing your entirety is how you embrace Ketu in general. But one must go deep and inward. All three Ketu nakshatras deal with getting to the roots for this reason.

Ashwini is ruled by the Ashwini Kumaras, gods of medicine and healing. Also known as divine physicians. In order to heal, one must get to the root of all disturbances in order to create the perfect medicine to heal. As Ashwini is ruled by the 1H, this does involve getting into the roots of oneself for self-liberation. Magha, on the other hand, is about tracing your own existence back to the consciousness of others -- usually family members and ancestors. Magha relates to generational trauma and shining light on that in order to be freer. Mula is symbolized by the roots of a tree, and 'mula' translates to 'roots'. It signifies ancestry roots as well, but mostly the truth. Mula is where disillusionment takes place as one gets directly into the roots of everything; going right into the galactic center -- which can also signify going right into the roots of our demons and letting all of that rotting energy burn from your body. And after this purification process, one's consciousness raises by default.

Ashwini has strong, undeveloped energies which can be tamed and grounded to be properly channeled -- in order for this to be achieved, one must let go of poisonous impurities so that they're no longer controlled/possessed by unseen forces. It is in Ashwini that we expand on the interconnection of the collective consciousness being tight, as this was secretly discovered in Uttara Bhadrapada and remembered in Revati. Ashwini nakshatra is extremely sensitive to outward energies, as are the rest of the Ketu nakshatras. Every individual's consciousness is affecting the whole world somehow. This being a Ketu theme in general describes the whole energetic field of the world and how we each play a part in it and affect each other's lives. As all Ketu nakshatras deal with getting into the roots of things, we must get dirty by digging into our own roots which are connected to the reasons for our layers of repressed emotions such as rage, numbness, resentment, hatred and grief which are commonly harboured in Ketu natives. These unconscious emotions, which form our Shadow Self, contribute to how we interact with the world and other people -- and there's always that capacity to harm or further traumatize others because of our own unchecked, hidden troubles. Mula also perfectly shows how all of the complex, interconnected traumas of everyone else are intertwining and creating more chaos and confusion in society; and the disillusionment to how the oppressive systems of society are just breeding more of these pains & troubles -- which in turn, in Ketu fashion, demonstrates just how trapped everyone is.

Continued in Part 2

#ashwini #aries #magha #leo #mula #sagitarrius #1st house #5th house #9th house #vedic astrology #astro observations #astrology #sidereal astrology #nakshatra series #vedic observations #sidereal observations #Youtube

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artdcnaldson · 1 month ago

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bsf!artrick saving you from creeps! going to a party or club with them and this one guy won't stop staring and following you. he starts getting closer and trying to talk to you, touching you.

if you're more of the conflict avoidant type, patrick would have to swoop in and save you. putting an arm around your waist and pulling you in close. asking, "what's wrong honey?" and he just slips into the role of your boyfriend so easily that the creep has no choice but to believe you're taken. maybe keeping up the charade for the rest of the night "just in case he's still watching"

i imagine running up to art, looking behind your shoulder warily because some asshole keeps following you. you're like "kiss me" art thinks he heard you wrong but he's blushing. you're like "hurry he's coming, i need you to trust me! just kiss me!". you're practically begging him and when he finally does kiss you, you can't stop. you're not even sure if the guy is still there, but now it just looks like you and art are making out in the corner of this party.

i hate white knight bullshit from a feminist perspective but sometimes i would really like to watch art/patrick punch a guy for touching me and then i can clean up and take care of their bruised knuckles and wipe at their bloody nose and chastely kiss their split lip...

MMMMMMMM yummy <3

Patrick is the type to take the first swing at a guy who’s been messing with you. He sees the asshole in a stupid fucking hollister polo and puka shell necklace reach under your skirt and grab your ass and he decks him without a second thought. Follows him down onto the sticky dance floor and punches him again and again, until Art has to pull him off. Patrick walks away with bloody and bruised knuckles that you ice back at your apartment. You call him stupid for punching that guy for you, because now he’s going to lose at least a few days of tennis while his hand recovers. But he’d do it again, if it lost him a week, a month, years of tennis. He tells himself he’s just being a good friend, because he doesn’t know if he can face the reality of loving you more than tennis. That’s never happened before.

And then there’s Art. Art Donaldson, who takes the first few punches after he yells at the douchebag who won’t leave you the fuck alone at the bar while you’re waiting for your drink. He starts off tame, just politely reminding the guy you aren’t interested, which escalates into a yelling match, and soon Art’s slumped against the bar with blood pouring from his nose, holding the impact zone on his cheek that’ll be a shiner by the morning. When the guy comes to get another blow in, you pull out your pepper spray and unleash chemical warfare on him, which gets you and Art a one way ticket out of the bar. Art finds it amusing that you ended up saving him from getting his ass kicked even worse, but he’s mortified that he couldn’t even win a fight for you. But then you’re sitting in his lap, holding ice to his cheek and combing bloody mats out of his pretty curls, your face so close to his that he could kiss you… and he doesn’t think it’s so bad.

#NEED MY STUPID LITTLE WHITE KNIGHTS BADLY!!!!!!

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sparklingcid3r · 24 days ago

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Do you have thoughts on Darry's pov about Pony getting jumped

If you guys ever want to just have a terrible night, go back and reread the way Pony describes Darry in the first chapter. It’s actually brutal and I can’t believe he let Darry read it😭🙏 He wanted that A bad

Because I swear, yall don’t need my thoughts on Darry’s pov because Pony is pretty much gifting to us, it’s just that it’s muddied by his own personal bias/narration that you miss just how much characterization Darry gets. If you take out Pony’s internal thoughts, you’d think Darry was the tamest/most thoughtful of the bunch through actions alone, even if he comes off a little heated.

I’m gonna go ahead and do it here anyway to show you what I mean. We’ll go in order from Darry’s first appearance to the end of the chapter, but I’m only giving you his actions and his dialogue. Toss up a prayer now bc Darry is done FILTHYYYY

(ignore my highlights, i j started annotating lol)

Immediately we’re introduced to Darry as the person who’s literally getting Pony back on his feet. He’s shaking Pony by the shoulders to get him to respond because he doesn’t always realize his own strength compared to Pony’s. This is probably the relationship he has with most of the gang since he’s most likely the one working out the most consistently of them all, what with his job and gym runs.

But when Pony tells Darry to stop, it’s not like Darry glares at him and says “I’m just checking on you.” Instantly, he recognizes he’s being too rough and apologizes.

This is a few lines later, after the description of Darry and their father, but Darry’s still the only one talking at this point. I thought it was interesting that he jams his fists into his pockets, and my thoughts are that he’s physically restraining himself from Pony as to not hurt him worse, especially since he’s asking Pony how badly he’s just been hurt.

This is Darry’s reaction to Soda calling Pony an okay kid and Pony grinning in response and calling Soda crazy. It’s the most sibling thing I’ve ever seen idk, especially when Darry just grins at Soda’s teasing and lets it go. It’s literally Darry being a softie in front of Pony, but it just doesn’t click for Pony yet give him a minute he’ll get there🙏 in two hundred more pages

I was pretty surprised when I went back and read the book. For some reason I misremembered Darry as being completely hypocritical whenever talking to Pony about school smarts vs street smarts, but he’s pretty much going out of his way to compliment Pony here.

And I mean, these are pretty tame bites at Pony, overall he’s being pretty lighthearted with his words. I wasn’t reading this with an angry Darry in mind, just an exasperated one that wishes his brother thought about his own safety more often so Darry didn’t have to do it for him.

Y’all probably remember this from the movie lmao, I love Patrick Swayze’s portrayal of Darry, I think he nails the character completely. Darry’s so obviously not angry at Pony here, especially not when he’s laying off when Soda tells him to.

Dally is figuring out who’s going to the Nightly Double with him, and I was surprised by Darry’s reaction. Canonically he doesn’t even like movies, Pony literally said it a few pages ago, so he’s either faking his disappointment (lmao) or would have actually gone for Dally, which was wild to think about.

So this was also pretty interesting. Even when I was a kid, my parents let me go outside and play with the neighbors for hours at a time, pretty much until it got dark. Things were veryyy different in the 60s, where it was normal for parents to go to sleep with their kids out in the night and wake up with them home, weekends especially. When considering that their parents are yk, dead, Darry wanting Pony to keep his grades in check on the weekdays only and handing off the reins on the weekend is pretty cool of him imo lol

And this was just adorable

But that’s it, the rest of the chapter is Soda and Pony talking about Darry, and then Pony’s internal monologue about how much he doesn’t need Darry and doesn’t care about him, but that he knows he lying to himself :(

Their relationship is one of the single greatest things in the book and honestly, Hinton makes it clear from the beginning what Pony realizes later: that Darry never once “didn’t care” about Pony or thought of him as a burden. Maybe he’s overbearing sometimes, but for someone who has so much pressure on him nearly all the time, he does a pretty good job with what he’s given 🤷‍♀️

His biggest flaw is his inability to communicate how he’s actually feeling to Pony, who he should know by now doesn’t take well to visual cues. But other than that, gold star for Darry Curtis!⭐️

#the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #the outsider movie #the outsiders darry #darry curtis #the outsiders ponyboy #ponyboy curtis

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killerlookz · 4 months ago

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sorry if u don't want to talk about it anymore but--

I'm amused by the fact that joostwt people act like this fic trope with blood is the most insane thing ever. like. ik they would not survive on tumblr and the dark fics side. no offense, but fic was really mild about this topic. so it seems they would be severely traumatized by the more extreme things people write and read on here. idk, it's just funny to me lol

honestly… and i also like the “dressing someone’s wounds” trope is HUGE in literature / media in general. even outside of dark fics this is a very romanticized trope- and it’s usually done out of care or love … (which my fic was like reader is just taking care of their injured boyfriend… being that close in a confined space is just bound to cause some tension) i wasn’t intending it to be like a full on blood kink fic (not that there’s anything wrong with that 😗)

i thought maybe they were upset about the “how could your mind go to joost getting hurt” like in that case have you ever been in a mosh pit? i’ve sustained worse injuries than a quick bloody nose in a mosh pit , this is a very common concert-related injury 😭 so idk

also like i used to write patrick bateman fanfic? 😭 so like even in my own catalogue is little blood is tame

#my inbox 💌

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lafcadiosadventures · 1 year ago

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Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XXVIII

Under the shade of a Rousseaunian forest, Patrick stops to rest after fleeing the petit-trianon. This chapter is a twin of the previous one, where we got to see how Pompadour dealt with unexpected negative emotions. Now we get to see Patrick’s side. Last chapter we also saw Pompadour and Patrick both had a tendency to dwell in their own misery, this chapter is all about what sets them apart. So, while Pompadour lies in her luxuriant palace bed, Patrick the Rousseaunian man rejects the civilized comfort of an inn in the village (because he wouldn’t find one open so late, it’s true, but this is still heavily rousseaunian romanticism coded) and wanders aimlessly from the farms to the dark forest.

Hartmann Schedel, Man with a dog head from the Nuremberg Chronical

Patrick has some lycanthropic features as we have seen back in Ireland when he fled Cockermouth Castle. However his wolf side is not a threat to the beasts of the forest, who feel at home with him, his stillness is such they continue their lives as if he weren’t there or as if they accepted them as one of their own. Deer, hares, symbolic animals in fables surround him, and he looks like one of those illustrations (allusion to a familiar and industrialized art form, relying on stereotype for characterization) Aesop, Phaedra (there's a scene in Seneca’s Phaedra where she claims that even the wildest beasts can be tamed by love) or La Fontaine.

The forest seems enchanted even to Patrick who is part dog, part wolf and completely used to spending nights in the woods. Even he is tricked by the moonlight filtered through the moving foliage and thinks he’s seeing sprites. The woods in this novel might be the only place that cannot become a prison and that cannot become a place of comfort, no matter how familiar you are with them, they are eternally surprising and destabilizing.

Consequently Patrick cannot relax and sleep, but in the moments of stillness he is invaded by a deep sorrow (while Pompadour felt rage, wounded pride/thwarted lust, all emotions that lead her to acting, rathern than contemplation and resignation) Patrick looks back at his life so far and defines it as a painful pilgrimage. He considers his past is awful, not even thinking of Deborah as an exception (perhaps because they both think of each other as extensions of themselves, twin souls sharing in this dark fate)

In this relative calmness, Patrick expresses regret for having rejected Pompadour now. (in my opinion, because he fears her retribution. Correctly so.) It’s strange because, as he thinks back to what happened, he attributes his rejecting her not to his spontaneous disgust over her trying to drug him and take him by force and coerce him with her power, which seemed like his chief motivation, but to a kind of dogmatic goodness linked to religion.

The deeply religious Patrick dares question god, wondering what kind of reward is reserved for him in heaven to deserve so much suffering in the earthly plane... (hi theme of the sadistic god who punishes his most loyal followers to test their faith) Patrick already knows via Fitz-Harris’ experience what is Pompadour’s preferred method of chastising, so he knows exactly what awaits him, -an underground cell-as expressed in his inner monologue.

The narrator tells us Patrick was able to calm himself by thinking of others who had it much worse than him. What is curious* is that Patrick, a man who has grown up in a country ravaged by colonialism, who has served as a soldier, who has definitely seen a lot of sorrow in his young life, can only think of a literary example (*it is not curious, it is nota Romantic book if we don't have a moment where the protagonist compares theirself to a work of fiction) and it is no mere work of fiction but a landmark of protoromanticism, (protonihilism, proto absurdist theatre and mooore) the tempest scene in King Lear. The tempest rages on outside, reflecting Lear’s inner turmoil and madness and there’s no resolving this Sublime with the balm of reason. (it is interesting how it seems like people in France during this period -1830's-40's- understood Lear as a kindly old man? Balzac’s narrator in his King Lear adaptation Le père Goriot also attempts to portray its Lear figure as a benevolent man-the "christ of paternity"- wronged by his children. I wonder if the balzacian narrator attepmting, sometimes against what we see happen in the action of the novel, to protray Lear/Goriot as a saintly old man represents this contemporary, simplistic reading of Lear as a saintly old man and his two daughters as sadistic villainesses)

Another interesting instance of this Lear scene is that he strips himself of his clothes and with them of all social status, anything marking him as the king of England he can no longer be. It is a gesture of refusal of civilization, he wants to be wild and live in the forest. But it’s not even wanting to be wild, he cannot be anything else anymore. It seems fitting with Borel’s interest in lycanthropy and his mistrust of civilization.

However like a pawn of fate, Patrick returns to the musketeer garrison, and sleeps for some minutes before being awoken by the man who comes to arrest him (secretly and clandestinely and without being informed of any cause of his arrest)

Why doesn’t Patrick attempt to run? If he is afraid of vigilance posts at city gates, etc, he is capable of laying low and surviving in the forest for a while. (if he is afraid of abandoning Deborah, well, his arrest won't help her either) Unlike Lear, he cannot break away from civilization and returns to the garrison as a lamb to the slaughterhouse.

His fatalism is completely negative (allow me a comparison with Diderot’s Fatalist, whose own sense of lacking free will and any agency in the choices of his life, both due to a kind of secular life philosophy and to his own status as a manservant and a soldier, drove him to acts of courage and boldness because everything he did was written on the Great Scroll in the Heavens anyways. In his turn, Patrick is rendered dull, passive and apathetic. Is this (also) a critique of Catholicism?)

(@sainteverge @counterwiddershins )

#madame putiphar #long post #text post

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georgiapeach30513 · 1 year ago

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Nobody is unproblematic lol. And yeah Patrick was apparently fired from greys and his own fans say there’s drama of affairs and cheating. LOL

If you look hard enough you will find something.

IMHO, Chris is pretty tame compared to a lot of celebs. He more or less falls under the radar and minds his own business. I get some fans really cannot handle his personal life stuff but if timbaland is out here saying Britney needs a muzzle on her??!! And Justin Timberlake getting exposed for bs left and right why is Chris getting married to a super annoying and useless chick have to be the be all end all?

He’s not the first or going to be the last guy who marries someone that his fans don’t like. Idk…I just feel like ppl are too cruel and I don’t think all of this is his fault or doing. I really don’t. And I don’t think his fans who cannot let shit go and cannot handle being called crazy are innocent of blame. They are crazy - he does have terrible taste in women and needs to make better choices. Both things can be true imo. But I don’t think he’s some devils spawn now and that all he does in life must be condemned. It’s just silly to be this mad over something this trivial in the grand scheme of things. Ppl are dying and wars are being fought for the wrong reasons

Idk i hope I’m not sounding like I’m downplaying some ppl’s upset at this whole thing but the guy did not commit a crime by marrying someone ppl don’t like. There are worse things in life…idk just me tho.

Well nobody is perfect. So pretty unproblematic is a plus. There’s always going to be some form of drama. And it’s Hollywood and his a white mean 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think people have been ridiculously cruel. I think people have went beyond what was necessary with comments on pages. And honestly, I’m going to leave this here. I’m tired and this is bringing down the fun.

I hope everyone has an amazing evening and if you’ve never seen a Patrick movie watch Enchanted!

#sma chat

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theabstruseone · 1 year ago

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I did grow up with Dragonball Z and watched it regularly in my high school and college years.

I prefer Dragonball Z Abridged as well.

Now, DBZA wouldn't exist without DBZ. Not only because it uses DBZ as source material for parody, but because DBZA is very specifically a deconstruction/reconstruction of Dragonball Z once it gets going. It is a direct reaction to not only DBZ but to the discussion around DBZ in the fandom for the series. And not just in referential jokes like "IT'S....1006. Kick his ass, Nappa." but into the essays and writings and discussions that have been had about the plot. The entire "Goku is a negligent father to Gohan and Piccolo is far more of a father figure to him" did NOT originate with DBZA even if it was where many people first heard of that take. Nor were the discussions of power levels and pretty much all of the alternative characterizations TFS gave the characters.

Let me talk for a moment about the 1990s teen romcom 10 Things I Hate About You. I swear this has a point.

This film came out around the same time as Clueless and Romeo + Juliet where it was trendy to do adaptations of classic literature for a modern teen audience. 10 Things I Hate About You is a retelling of the Shakespeare play Taming of the Shrew. It is universally considered one of Shakespeare's worst plays and the blatant misogyny of the plot was ridiculed throughout history all the way back to when Shakespeare was still alive and "sequel" plays were performed calling him out for how disgusting the play was in its treatment of women.

10 Things I Hate About You could not exist without Taming of the Shrew. It also could not exist without all of the history of academics and fans deconstructing that story and pointing out all the sexism of the play. And all of the attempts to "fix" the play through adaptations over the centuries with different takes on the material. 10 Things I Hate About You flipped the dynamic of Petruchio and Kate's abusive relationship to all but literally beat the rebellion out of Kate to turn her into a submissive and docile wife to the Grade A dipshit Petruchio. Instead, it is about the abrasive and spiteful Kat being pursued with ulterior motives by the slacker asshole Patrick and, together, they tame each other with Patrick showing her the affection she doesn't know she needs in her life and Kat forcing him to get his shit together and realize how big of an ass he's being so they can both grow and change by the end.

See where I'm going with this now?

Dragonball Z is nowhere near as bad as Taming of the Shrew, but it does have a lot of sloppy, lazy writing with themes that come through that were obviously unintended. This is made even worse in the anime with the padded episodes and filler arcs. Then compounded often with some odd localization choices made by the various dub studios who worked on the American English language release.

ALL of this plus over a decade of discussion and discourse and headcanons and analysis led to the writing in Dragonball Z Abridged to be far stronger for the wealth of material to draw on. So of COURSE it's a better product. It has hindsight in its favor.

I find that a bit interesting because, IIRC, the guys at Team Four Star don't really want people to "prefer" DBZA over the original because, at the end of the day, it's just a parody. Maybe I'm biased because I am a Latino who grew up with Dragon Ball (and we Latinos take Dragon Ball REALLY seriously lol), but I totally understand that sentiment, especially when I see people saying that DBZA is "superior" to the original show.

And of course they can say that! And I get the attitude and why they encourage people to watch the original. But I didn't grow up with it like they did - I don't have the same feelings Dragonball inspires in them and how important it was and honestly watching clips from the actual show just does nothing for me. The DBZA crew have a great sense of comedic timing, editing, writing, and just in general talent for creation that extends into their other projects and it gels with me. I like TotallyNotMark describing stuff that happens in the bits that DBZA never covered like GT, Super, and the Buu saga, but I just don't see myself ever sitting down to watch it. I'm sure that's the case for a lot of people when it comes to certain shows and movies - they like hearing them being TALKED about, but the investment to watch them is just not going to be there. It's often like that with Night Mind, too - there are a ton of Unfiction projects that are phenomenal... but I don't know if I have the patience to watch them (especially huge, years-spanning ones like old Slenderverse stuff) since a lot of the investment requires paying very close attention to the material and these days with how I work I don't have the free time to watch a lot of stuff purely for my own enjoyment (I'm mostly watching stuff while editing or eating).

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #dragon ball z abridged #team four star #dbz #dbza #10 things i hate about you #taming of the shrew #shakespeare

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bmodiwrites · 2 years ago

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(For You) I'd Break These Walls

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Rating: Explicit (E) Notes: There’s no excuse for this one, y'all. Word Count: ~11.8k Warnings: There’s a tiny bit of smut in here, but it’s me writing, so when is that not the case? Other than that, it’s pretty tame! Summary:

What if Steve was there the night Jason found Eddie in Rick’s boat shed? Steve makes a late night food run out to Eddie only to see that Jason has finally closed in. He’s there to see Patrick die, taking a cold dip in the lake, too. He’s there that night at Skull Rock and in the morning when Max finds them spooning - but that’s not the first time Max’s caught Steve with Eddie.

Find out what happens when Max opens Steve’s eyes to something he never considered before. Sometimes, the best shit happens when it’s least expected.

Or - a sorry excuse to write Max & Steve interactions!

Find it on A03

Taking up space in the local Hawkins grocery store felt entirely too odd when the world was close to ending. As Steve made his way down the snack and chip and booze aisles, he contemplated what it’d be like to usher in the end of days from a supermarket. Aside from having ample choice on supplies, Steve figured the tall shelves and sharp objects falling from above would make survival difficult. Nonetheless, Eddie Munson had to eat and Steve was on food run duty.

He'd been practically shoved out the door after dropping Dustin off for the evening. His young friend was obviously strung out and worried for their banished comrade, though the pushy attitude he treated Steve to wasn’t all that necessary; he already had the food run in mind, anyway. Steve could read the room well enough to know that the kid didn’t mean it, however – they were all on edge, creeping closer to it with every passing second. It was the least he could do; Eddie had no ability to move or change locations or even breathe without worrying for his safety. In the long run, Steve buying him beer wasn’t nearly enough to make up for Eddie’s predicament.

Since he was there and half-assing a snack run made little sense at all, Steve picked out all the best stuff. His cart was filled with salty goodness and non-melting types of candy that would fill Eddie with sugar for days if push came to shove. The lady behind the counter shot him the briefest judgmental look as Steve unloaded the cart, though her sweet old cashier mask was back on when Steve pushed said cart forward to watch each item pass across the belt. Steve met her fake smile with one of his own and proceeded to bag his own stuff, pay, and get the goddamn hell out of there.

He played his music loud throughout the drive, hoping the thump of the bass behind his seat would drown out some of the vividness of the day. Steve’s mind was still reeling from Max’s levitation act and the slim margin in which they were able to save her. Not for the first time, Steve was incredibly grateful for Dustin’s incessantly annoying behavior – they never would’ve gotten the information from Nancy and Robin in time if it weren’t for that little habit. And while Steve had no desire to step into Max’s shoes, he was pretty certain that watching something like that happen in real time was almost worse. He suddenly understood Eddie so much better now – that sort of fear, it changed a person.

Thinking of Eddie and the need to be stealth as he approached, Steve turned off his headlights after turning onto the road leading to Rick’s place. He drove slowly down the long gravel driveway, trying to make as little noise as possible. It looked like that didn’t matter, however – Steve didn’t need to be a genius to know the car parked haphazardly at the end of the lane was Jason’s. The doors were left wide open, like all the people in the car flew from their seats without a care in the world.

Steve’s heart started to beat hard against his chest; if Jason was there, that meant Eddie wasn’t safe.

Putting his car in park, Steve walked around to the trunk to grab the backpack he stuffed all his purchases into. It’d be stupid to have put forth the energy without following through – no matter what happened next, having a little food on hand never hurt anyone. With the straps securely on his shoulders, Steve started the trek down from the main house towards the boat shed where Eddie took cover over the last couple of days. There wasn’t a sign of Jason nearby, so Steve didn’t hesitate to quietly open the large wooden door.

Eddie, the manic boy that he was, swung his entire body towards the door from his spot by the window. His eyes were wide when they met Steve’s, almost like a scared raccoon caught out by the trashcan. Steve tried to smile as his hands came up in supplication, but the sound of loud shouts and harsh voices stopped him. Without thinking, Steve made his way over to Eddie where they both stared out the window.

The sight of Jason flanked by a handful of guys wasn’t all that terrifying until Steve noticed the weapons in their hands. He turned to look at Eddie, who was already nervously glancing around the shed looking for a way out. Steve watched the group get closer with panic setting in. Blinking, because standing transfixed to the spot wasn’t going to help anyone, Steve joined Eddie in his fruitless search – from the looks of it, they were sitting ducks.

Steve grinned at the thought, nodding eagerly towards the empty boat still covered by that blue tarp Eddie hid under earlier that day. Ducks made their getaway in the water and lucky for them, they had the means to do that, too. “Get in the boat, Munson,” Steve whispered hurriedly. His long legs were already carrying him that way when Eddie finally kicked into action. By the time they were both settled into the empty body of the boat with the engine running, Jason and his gang were in the water too, swimming after them.

Everything looked peachy for about a minute before the boat’s engine decided to kick the bucket, stranding them lifeless in the middle of Lover’s Lake. The little bit of a head start they got at the beginning was quickly narrowed down by powerful athletes that were on a head hunting mission. As Eddie got up from his spot to kick and complain at the water logged engine, Steve looked around the hull for oars he figured would be there. Though he only went to camp one summer, Steve vividly remembered the water safety training. He became a lifeguard because of it.

He let out a triumphant whoop when he found both oars pushed up against the side of the boat. Without thinking, Steve grabbed the back of Eddie’s leather jacket, yanking him away from the motor that was useless and getting more so by the second. “It’s flooded out, Eddie. Leave it!” Steve exclaimed. “Take this and paddle.” He threw the second oar Eddie’s way.

Between the two of them, the boat started to move again on the water. Steve let out a breath of relief as the figures behind them got smaller. Though, that was short lived. All of the sudden, a loud scream echoed off the water. Both he and Eddie stopped what they were doing to turn around and investigate. Immediate regret flashed across the forefront of Steve’s mind – the scream wasn’t a scream at all – one of Jason’s teammates was floating in the air like Max was earlier, quivering, and full body shaking under Vecna’s manipulations. Unlike Max, this victim didn’t make it.

Steve was so preoccupied by the flashing memory of Max in that same position that he didn’t notice Eddie getting up out of fear or the subtle shift in the boat until it was well past too late. The wooden boat capsized quicker than Steve could brace himself. Getting pitched into the water was like that first time being thrown in the pool – the surprise of the cool lake hitting his back made Steve breath in, which flooded his lungs with water. Scrambling to remember his training, Steve got his legs under him and pushed, propelling himself back towards the surface with a few fluttery kicks. When he crested the water, gasps and choking coughs echoed across the silent lake.

He waited until Eddie surfaced too before even attempting to get back into the boat. Looking in the other’s direction, Steve started babbling off instructions on how to heft themselves into the boat without pitching the other out in the process. Surprisingly, Eddie listened to him without adding any commentary, which made getting out of the water much easier.

Steve went first, using all of his still lingering strength to pull himself up and over the edge almost flawlessly. He would’ve given the whole thing a ten if it weren’t for the faceplant finishing off his landing. Taking a second to get his legs under him, Steve then turned back to the water, bracing himself for the unsteady rock and shift of the boat as Eddie climbed up. Thankfully, the brunette was nimble and shockingly fit; it took minimal effort to get him back on semi-solid ground. For a time after they were seated again, the only thing that could be heard were harsh breaths drawn in and shaky exhales. Though the immediate threat Jason and his gang posed was no more, what they’d just seen was a cold reminder that safety in any form was fleeting.

“Do you know anywhere we can go?” Eddie asked after quiet minutes of attempting to dry his hair and wringing out his vest. The thick leather of his jacket was done in for the time being, though Steve wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that. Instead, he focused on the question.

Looking around felt silly, fruitless, even, but Steve did it, anyway. He turned his head, trying to remember what the edge of the water looked like. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off – if they went all the way across the lake, Skull Rock wasn’t that far of a walk from the bank. With a smile, Steve said, “ever heard of Skull Rock?”

With a little discussion, Eddie was eagerly on board – they both were looking for any excuse to get off the water. It was surprisingly easy to find a rowing rhythm that was both mindless and successful; the old wooden boat moved like new as they worked in tandem. Steve hadn’t noticed it before but Eddie was strong and well built. His forearms flexed and tightened with each pass of the oar, giving just as well as Steve was. Not for the first time, Steve wondered if the charade Eddie made out of himself was hiding something more complex beneath the surface.

It took quite a bit of effort not to drop to his knees and kiss the dry land when they settled upon it. Steve knew the display would be extensive and overdramatic; still, the desire remained.

Dragging the boat the rest of the way out of the water took up his time and strength when all was said and done, easily erasing those thoughts of grandeur. He wasn’t aware of how tired he was until they were done with that task and facing a couple miles worth of walking. “If we go straight in that direction,” Steve started, pointing at a path butted alongside a giant gray rock flattened at the top, “we’ll be there in about an hour.” He smiled as he leaned over the boat and pulled out the backpack that brought him there in the first place. “At least we’ve got some beer for the trip.”

They took long enough for Eddie to produce a bottle opener from the keys belted onto his pants before taking off down the dark path. Steve made quick work of popping the cap off two beers to tide them over while they walked. When he handed Eddie’s his, their fingers brushed – that small touch sent a wave of heat to the center of Steve’s belly, making his face flush. Lucky for him, the woods around them were dark and Eddie’s stare was otherwise occupied. Without a light, everything looked a bit more eerie and unsettling.

Which meant navigating their path was slightly more difficult than Steve first imagined. During his other trips to Skull Rock, Steve was only half paying attention and the sun shone brightly to guide the way. In those instances, Steve was worried about one thing and one thing only; the important parts of his brain were already checked out. Sometimes, a small pang for those carefree days made Steve miss that old life.

That nostalgia always lasted for a second or two before Steve remembered how truly shitty living like that was. If he continued down that path, Steve wouldn’t have met Dustin or Robin or even Eddie. Despite the ease of sloth and gluttony, bigger, better pastures that were much greener caught Steve’s attention, keeping him in a chokehold that made his life so much better. Remembering that made it easy to brush away stupid desires when they managed to crop back up.

Nonetheless, Steve’s recollection of the rock was hazy at best and even harder to draw up in the pitch black. Never mind the fact that every dark shadow looked like a Demogorgon waiting to pounce. Eddie must’ve felt the trepidation because he moved in a little closer to Steve the longer they walked.

“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” Eddie asked after the third time Steve stopped them on the path to take a look around.

Nervous and a bit discombobulated, Steve reached up to run a hand through his slowly drying hair. Without the hairspray, his fingers sailed through the locks easily, making the move all the more tactile. He did it again and again until a cropping of large bushes caught his eye. He was so sure he’d have to admit to getting them lost, too. “Yeah, Munson, I do. Look over there,” Steve answered, pointing at his latest discovery. In his excitement, Steve grabbed Eddie’s elbow and used that grip to pull him along.

Eddie spluttered out a “what” and “Steve, wait – “ before getting his feet under him and following along on his own accord. In another time, Steve would’ve been embarrassed by his aggressive behavior, yet the thought of finally being in a safe place softened that urge. Being in the woods in the dark in the middle of the night was a recipe for disaster – Steve figured survival by any means outweighed politeness.

Especially when they were finally standing in front of their intended location.

Steve whooped in delight as Skull Rock towered over them, casting it’s large and eerie shadow. He forgot, just for a second, that he still had Eddie’s arm in his hand – in his excitement, Steve drew the other boy closer. That same heat from that touch earlier came racing back and Steve, ever the emotional expert, did his best to bat it away. It wouldn’t do for something unexpected and silly like a crush or feelings to come into play. At this point in the adventure, Steve was stranded, cold, and planning to spend the night sleeping on the ground. Wants were useless when surviving was the name of the game.

It didn’t take long for either boy to settle into the hidden spots behind the rock. With the wind picking up, their wet clothes were starting to add another obstacle to their evening. Ducking under the larger side of the rock took a bit of the wind’s bite away but didn’t eradicate it completely. In an attempt to forget about the cold, Steve turned to his one reliable source of comfort, settling the backpack between them. “I got all the best junk food.” He shot Eddie an attempt at a smile as he spoke and spread out his shopping haul. When beer and chips and cupcakes and the best candy were before them, Steve opened his arms out wide, silently inviting Eddie to dig in.

Eating kept the chill at bay for a while. Between the two mile walk, treading water for their lives, and a collective adrenaline crash, both he and Eddie were hungry and tired. The sound of chewing, crunching, and soft sighs made that very clear. And while Steve wasn’t opposed to conversation, he was glad for the silence kept up between them. It almost felt normal in those quiet moments, even.

The cold quickly became too much, however. There wasn’t a magical number of Pringles or Snickers bars that would take it away, either. Little by little, Steve’s limbs started to get heavy, like they were weighted down. His socks squished when he moved at all yet felt stiff and hard against his skin all the same. The thin long sleeved polo he put on after his shower provided zero protection from the wind, especially as soaked as it was. The worst part, though, was the sound of Eddie’s teeth chattering. Despite what his body was going through, Steve’s main worry was the scared boy sitting in front of him.

Without saying anything, Steve started to move a little closer. He made his intentions apparent by moving the empty wrappers and other trash out of his way. The clear path made it easy for their legs to brush, then their arms and sides, too. Eddie’s eyes stayed wide the entire time, watching Steve’s every move. A flash of surprise overtook them when Steve settled against Eddie’s side and got bigger still when Steve wrapped an arm around him. Steve only noticed because they were so close (not because he too had been cataloguing Eddie in return).

Eddie’s “Steve, what – “ was very quickly drowned out by the immediate warmth their closeness provided. It seemed hard to argue with body heat and protection from the wind. So hard, in fact, that Eddie relaxed easily into Steve’s side without so much as another word uttered. Of course, that might’ve been because he fell asleep within those first few minutes, but Steve wasn’t complaining. He gave himself over to the comfort and allowed his own eyes to grow heavy, too, eventually following Eddie into dreamland.

There were a couple of things that became apparent very fast when Steve woke up the next day. The first and most important thing was Eddie Munson’s weight in his arms. While they started the night butted up against the rock, they were now on their sides, spooned up together chest to back. Steve’s arm was wrapped tightly around Eddie’s middle, keeping him close. Not wanting to disturb the sleeping boy, Steve didn’t move, though he kept processing the oddity of his position. Next, Steve realized his hips were pressed precariously close to Eddie’s ass and his typical morning problem was mere millimeters away from being Eddie’s issue, too.

That all became obsolete when the bushes surrounding the area started to rustle. “Eddie, Eddie – you gotta get up man,” Steve whispered hurriedly as the arm already around Eddie’s middle tightened. He opened his hand and tapped on Eddie’s sternum lightly, saying his name again. Brown eyes peeked open right around the time whoever was there made their way through the greenery.

Since they weren’t in a direct line of sight, Steve figured they had a minute or so before they were found. Instead of trying to spring apart and draw attention to them, Steve moved his hand from Eddie’s chest, putting a finger over his own lips in hopes that the gesture would keep Eddie quiet. The other’s eyes were big and wide, gorgeous in any other setting, looking desperately at Steve. Footsteps and further sounds of the bushes moving was the only thing that could be heard until an all too familiar voice echoed around them.

“Holy shit, you guys! It’s Eddie – and Steve – “ Max stood there with a curious expression on her face, the necessary headphones down and around her neck, though Steve heard Kate Bush loud and clear. She looked triumphant somehow, like seeing them this way was some big deal. If it were anyone but her, Steve would’ve been able to quickly shake off the oddly intuitive knowing Steve saw in Max’s eyes. No one else knew things about Steve that made his precarious position with Eddie seem like more than it was.

A couple months earlier –

Steve never meant to start smoking weed again. It reminded him of a time and place that he was happy not to revisit ever again. Most of his memories were wrapped up in Tommy and the piece of shit Steve used to be by his side. He wanted nothing to do with that part of himself again. And while that was a beautiful thought, it was entirely much easier said than done. Steve also remembered the flighty feeling and the way he sort of left himself behind when under the influence. His life was an odd little messy whirlwind and a little weightlessness was unfortunately exactly what he needed.

Up until he decided to seek Eddie out for his drug services, Steve made a point to avoid walking onto school grounds when Dustin talked him into giving the party rides home from the Hellfire Club. He already struggled with feeling pathetic, hanging around his old stomping grounds didn’t help alleviate that any. Nonetheless, Steve had no other option and the urge to lose himself was quickly becoming all consuming.

At first, Eddie was skeptical of Steve – and who could blame him? In all the time they went to school together, Steve could count on one hand the words shared between them. And while it wasn’t purposely done, Steve understood the way that part of the world worked – people automatically disliked others existing outside their bubble. Eddie was trained to watch his back around people like Steve. Knowing that helped, though; Steve took a page from Robin’s book and talked his way in the door.

Their first exchange was basic and stiff. Eddie waited for Steve outside of Family Video on a night that Robin didn’t work. When all the closing duties were done, Steve welcomed Eddie into his car where they swapped goods and went on their way. It would’ve been sketchy if it weren’t for the parting nod Eddie left him with. His ringed finger pointed at the radio – “your taste in music is trash, Harrington. Come by my place next time, instead.”

Steve thought the quarter he bought would be enough to get the itch out of his system, so he nodded politely without promising a visit in the future. He wanted to prove to himself that the weed was just as much a part of his past as the people he used to smoke it with. Too bad the weightlessness was better than he remembered.

So, heading to Eddie’s place eventually became just as much a part of Steve’s routine as washing his car once a week. He’d go over, share a bowl or two, and leave with his goods. Sometimes the high drive was filled with music from cassettes that Eddie would give him with the little baggie of green, and sometimes, Steve let the silent night air do all the talking.

Things changed when Steve started to ask about the music Eddie was always pushing his way. A couple of bowls together turned into joints shared; they’d pass the jay back and forth as Eddie showed him records and talked about bands Steve had never heard of before. It was easy to fall into the sort of hazy openness being with Eddie brought about. While Steve started out wanting to lose himself, he was quickly coming to find other, newer pieces of the Steve Harrington package, instead.

He never meant to strike up a friendship with Eddie Munson, though it happened all the same.

It probably would’ve stayed between just the two of them if it weren’t for Max. She’d always been a little more curious than the rest of the group – Steve shared an emotional acuity with her that no one else really had. Her eyes were bright and wide and always open, watching the world around her for clues and tells and answers to the bigger, more important questions. Never mind the fact that she moved into the trailer right across from Munson’s at the beginning of the year.

Steve didn’t remember that fact until he spilled out of Eddie’s place close to midnight one Saturday evening. They’d been balls deep in a collection of Van Halen tour video tapes Eddie wouldn’t shut up about, so Steve was leaving much later than usual. One joint turned into two and the night sort of melted away. He was happy and floaty and ready for a good night’s sleep when Max’s voice sobered him up so fast his head ached from it. Stopping in his tracks, Steve looked up to find her leaning casually against the wooden beam of her front porch. She stared at him for a long second before waving a hand with a flighty smirk on her face. “Having a good night, Steve?” Max asked then, the grin remaining.

Too high to deal with her quick wit, Steve threw back his customary dad question – “shouldn’t you be in bed, Maxine?” And like most of the kids, she scoffed and threw him the bird, dropping the question and the topic and Steve for that matter as she walked back through her front door with an annoyed huff. Steve stood there for an extra minute or two staring at the closed door – he wondered how much of that exchange would make it back to the rest of the party.

Yet, in the weeks that followed, Steve never got any grief about hanging out with Eddie Munson or spending long hours in a space that no one would ever really expect him to be. He didn’t stop going, which meant he didn’t stop running into Max, either. Steve wasn’t all that sure why she decided to keep his secret or what she was getting from doing so, but he appreciated it, nonetheless. While he wasn’t even sure why he was keeping Eddie’s influence in his life from others – hell, he didn’t know that he actually was, even – Steve was grateful to have something that was just for himself. All he knew was the hours spent in the Munson’s trailer were some of the best he’d experienced in a long time – selfishly, Steve wanted them to continue.

Max must’ve picked up on that because the last time Steve saw her before all the Vecna bull shit began, she looked at him with the sort of understanding that was too big for a fifteen year old. She took in the soft smile on his face and the easy slope of his shoulders that were otherwise pinched in worry and fear. Steve knew what he looked like, had seen it in the mirror he tried to pull himself together in every time he left Eddie’s. It was happiness he saw there and that scared him most of all. Especially because Max recognized it, too.

Instead of staying on her porch like she usually did, Max came down the stairs, meeting Steve at his car. She leaned against the driver’s side door, crossing her arms like the sassy teen she was. “No one is going to care, you know,” Max declared, seemingly out of nowhere.

Steve was taken aback by such a forward statement, and slightly confused by what she meant. “Who’s not going to care about what? It’s too late for riddles, Max.” He shuffled his feet in the dirt like he was annoyed or antsy, though he more than likely came off stoned and uncoordinated. The look on Max’s face when Steve glanced at her told him it was the latter – she even rolled her eyes at him for good measure.

“The party. They’re family, Steve. No one will care that Eddie Munson makes you happy.” Max shifted her posture, loosening up her arms so she looked more approachable. Steve immediately felt comforted by the gesture and cursed himself for being so easily manipulated. Though she was smart, Max didn’t know everything.

“It’s not like that, Max – “ Steve started to say, but was hastily cut off.

“It wouldn’t matter if it was. I haven’t seen you smile the way you are right now since I met you. You take care of us all and pretend like we can’t see you slacking when it comes to yourself.” Max paused for a second to run a hand through the ponytail over her shoulder. “With all we’ve seen, balking at genuine chances for something good just doesn’t make sense.”

Max didn’t let him say anything back, despite the fact that Steve wouldn’t have been able to, anyway. She reached out to pat his bicep a couple of times before turning back towards her trailer. After taking a few steps, she looked over her shoulder shooting him a smile. “Happy Saturday, Steve. Try not to think too hard.”

He spent most of his drive home doing exactly that, playing her words over and over again in his brain, trying to puzzle them out. It was no surprise that Max understood the unspoken parts of Steve that he tried so hard to keep from everyone. In his makeshift family, Steve served a purpose that left little room for tangible insecurities and feelings that lacked confidence. Each kid felt like one of his own and their safety was all that mattered. Even in the quiet times where nothing was causing any danger, Steve took on the caregiver responsibility.

Most of the crew was young enough or too preoccupied with their own shit not to notice that Steve put all of his energy into everyone else, purposely leaving none in the tank for himself. It was so much easier to do that than worry about silly shit like his own happiness – Steve had been in the driver’s seat of that runaway train his entire life without navigating it anywhere good. Why waste brain bytes about it when there were many other, much more important things and people to worry about?

So why did Max’s ability to see Steve make him feel so out of place? He wondered that for days until Dustin came barreling into Family Video freaking out about Eddie Munson and the problems he was facing. It was easy then, to let go of the wonder and cling to the fact that Eddie was his friend and that in the end, helping him meant way more than understanding the poisonous little ideas Max put into his head. Steve couldn’t continue to worry about his so-called happiness if the source was behind bars or in Jason’s clutches, or even worse, taken by the real monster doing the killing.

Max still looked like the cat that got the cream by the time the rest of the party joined them. She didn’t take her eyes off Steve as he got up from the hard ground, pulling all of his limbs away from Eddie. She watched Steve brush off the sticks and dirt clinging to his shirt, and even when he leaned down to help Eddie up from the ground, too. It wasn’t the brunette’s fault that Steve was having a silent battle with their redheaded friend.

Thankfully, there were bigger fish to fry than Steve and Eddie tangled together, so no one even thought to ask about the spooning they all were unfortunately privy to. Dustin spent a bit talking about magnets and electromagnetic waves, but Steve couldn’t keep up. He was dead tired and disoriented by the way Max still wouldn’t stop looking at him. She kept at it until Eddie was muttering about Mordor and the Shire (still shit Steve had no idea about) – then they were moving and Steve hoped to whatever was up there that Max had better things to look at.

It quickly became impossible to do anything other than work to save all of their lives, which really meant that the group split up and Steve no longer had to worry about Max’s all-knowing stare. Instead, he climbed back into the boat from last night (who’s engine suddenly worked just fine), watching the kids get smaller by the second. It was crazy, to be revisiting the scene of the latest mania, but Steve had no better ideas and the clock was ticking.

Testing Dustin’s theory meant stripping down to his jeans and diving into the icy water, though not before Eddie’s hand shot out to grab his wrist. Steve had already been cheeky, throwing his shirt at the older boy in the most teasing way possible. He was unsure what got into him but Eddie wasn’t – he looked at Steve clearly, all hard eyes and concern on his face. “Be careful, Steve.” Eddie spoke with such conviction that Steve was at a loss for words. In all the time they spent together, Eddie never put himself out there like that before. They stayed to neutral topics and kept as far as possible away from personal shit like feelings. This, however, had the look of care smothered all over it. Steve tried to smile, to acknowledge the shift.

Not knowing how successful he was, Steve did his best to shake the thought away as he turned from the people in the boat and dove into the water.

In all honesty, Steve was certain he was careful up until the point where something was tugging him back under the water. He’d been alert and aware of the way the Upside Down worked – he swam down, got the information, and swam back up. As far as he was concerned, the job should’ve been done. They had the information they needed to turn around and better prepare for a trip to nowhere. The hive mind itself had other plans, however.

Steve tried not to panic – his ride through the Upside Down was much different than any altercation with the Demodogs or Mind Flayer. It was almost peaceful until the terrifying screech of something dangerous sounded in his ears. All of the sudden, Steve was on his back and defenseless in a place where the whole damn world thought as one. Never mind the fact that he realized what made such a loud and intimidating noise as a hoard of them flew right to him.

The actual fighting was a blur of an oar swinging and sharp teeth digging into the soft flesh on his sides. With the thick tail wrapped tightly around his neck, Steve was losing oxygen (and hope) faster than he was able to squirm away and fight back. His death looked imminent, though he fought hard against the weight progressively weighing him down.

After the tense moments that followed, it was a pleasant surprise to feel the Demobat tail start to loosen around his neck enough to climb to his feet. Steve never expected any of his friends in the boat to chase him down into the unknown, let alone wield weapons in his defense. Steve was taken aback and impressed by the quick and easy handle of the remaining predators that might’ve snatched Steve’s life if things were different. Getting his hands on the one that tried to strangle him was so satisfying that he didn’t feel done with it until he’d ripped the damn thing in half.

As he spat out blood and took in oxygen and tried not to think about the hamburger meat that was his stomach and sides, Eddie watched him, taking Steve in until the invisible string they’d both been ignoring tugged. All of the sudden, Steve had an armful of Eddie Munson who was clinging to him desperately, wounds be damned. “Jesus Christ, man,” Eddie muttered, ducking his head into Steve’s neck. Despite the burning sensation and the tug of his sides, Steve dragged Eddie against his chest, returning the hug. It was the only thing he could do when Eddie whispered – “I thought we lost you.”

Steve didn’t miss the way Nancy and Robin looked between each other – the rise in Robin’s eyebrows had always been hard not to catch. He subsequently ignored it, though; Eddie’s arms were tight around him and after what just happened, Steve needed the grounding. Never mind the fact that Steve was certain trying to move Eddie would be a big mistake. They stayed in that tight hug for what might’ve been hours before Eddie finally pulled away. He tried to swipe at his eyes quickly, but Steve saw the tears caught in long eyelashes. Since Steve had already thrown caution to the wind, he didn’t think twice about reaching up to wipe at the lone tear still tracking down Eddie’s cheek.

It was surprising that everyone let it go long enough to get out of the open – thankfully, all of his friends had decent enough survival skills and self-control. They wandered into the Upside Down’s version of the woods Steve spent the last twenty-four hours in, taking cover under the canopy of trees and branches that would make flying difficult for any bat. Only then did they stop long enough to get Steve’s wounds covered.

Robin took the torn piece of fabric Nancy handed to her, getting a kick out of wrapping it tight enough around Steve to pull a low, pained moan from him. “Take a deep breath,” she demanded as the fabric tightened even further so the edges could meet. She waited until the bandage was in place before grabbing his cheeks in both of her hands. Robin looked at him for a second, like she was trying to read into his soul, then slapped his cheeks playfully. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Reaching up to pull her hands away from him, Steve took the opportunity to locate Eddie, who was quietly talking to Nancy a few feet away. His heart settled down enough to return his attention to Robin, who seemed to be getting more impatient by the second. Her cheeks were red by the time Steve finally spoke. “Eddie’s my friend, Rob.”

She looked like she might spontaneously combust by Steve’s lack of answer, but the haunting screech of the Demobats echoing around them made it difficult to express her upset. “We’re not done talking about this, Steve,” Robin huffed under her breath before turning around to face the rest of the group. For the time being, the subject was dropped.

Except, Steve was stupid and reckless and feeling like the world might end, so he grabbed at Eddie’s hand when they started walking, like the gesture was a normal one and not something that was completely off the wall. Eddie took it in stride, though – his hand was warm wrapped up tightly in Steve’s. They walked hand in hand silently for a while; if it wasn’t for the hazy darkness and overall shitty feeling of the place, it might’ve actually been nice. Nevertheless, nothing that nice was ever so easy.

“You’re confusing your friends,” Eddie said, breaking their tentative silence.

Steve looked ahead at Robin and Nancy who were currently talking with their heads together, completely ignoring whatever was going on between himself and Eddie. Though, Steve wasn’t naïve enough to think Eddie’s words weren’t the least bit true. “I know,” Steve answered, giving Eddie’s fingers a squeeze. “It’s not what you think, either. My not telling them about you.”

“I wouldn’t want people to know I was friends with the freak, either.” Eddie sounded so dull when he spoke, like the words were something he’d repeated time and again. They were hurtful and Steve knew Eddie enough to know the pain wasn’t only felt by Steve.

“You’re wrong, Eddie.” Steve stopped their walk so Eddie could meet his eye while he spoke. “I spent a lot of time becoming this person that everyone wanted at the cost of everything good about me. I let popularity and being known rule my life when all I really wanted was to be liked enough for someone to genuinely get to know the real me.”

He scoffed at how silly he’d been, thinking anyone in that group he ran with could see further than their own noses. “It took work and meeting the right people to find a version of myself that I could live with. Even still, my reputation followed me around, sticking to my back like glue. There’s no happiness available when everyone is looking at you like you’re still the person you’ve been trying so hard not to be.”

Eddie’s eyebrows were pinched together, his expression confused. Steve trucked on, hoping he could get rid of that look. “When I met you, my reputation only followed me for a second. You weren’t afraid to tell me my music sucked without blinking an eye. You silently gave me suggestions and willingly told me about them when I came back to know more. From the beginning, you’ve been a source of freedom and – and – happiness that I selfishly didn’t want to share with anyone else. Because once it’s out there, it’s everyone’s to talk about and dissect. It was nice, to have something that was just mine for a while.”

Once again, Steve found himself with an armful of Eddie Munson. He leaned into the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around the older boy. Eddie said nothing as they stood there, pressed together from toe to chest. Though they’d never been so close before, Steve wasn’t about to fight the rightness of holding Eddie. Steve never gave a second thought to the reason why being with Eddie was such an easy thing to do but it all kind of made sense. Maybe the person to accept him for who he was and love him just the same didn’t have to be Nancy or some faceless girl. Sometimes shit like that just happened and the person standing on the other side was one that was least expected.

Steve tried to pretend that his profound discovery wasn’t a game changer, he truly did. As they made their way through the Upside Down first into Nancy’s house and then into Eddie’s, Steve’s mind was filled with what if’s and maybe’s he always kept locked away. It seemed like a completely shitty time to be thinking so existentially, but the thoughts were there and unmoving. The only way to deal with them was to process, act, and hopefully be around long enough to move on.

Never mind the fact that Eddie looked much livelier since their little conversation. Steve hadn’t noticed how droopy the other was until his shoulders came up and the smile on Eddie’s face became a real one that Steve actually recognized. Despite being back in Hawkins proper, where Eddie was a wanted man, things felt like they were looking up. There was a plan in place with the right characters on the gameboard. As long as things went to plan, they’d be golden on the other side.

It took quite a bit of preparation to make sure every phase of the plan went off without a hitch. While the kids put together weapons and survival equipment, Eddie, Steve, Robin, and Nancy worked on compiling a speaker system they hoped would provide a good enough distraction to allow for undetected movement throughout the Upside Down. When Eddie proudly presented his plan, everyone looked at him like he was insane, but the more the group thought about it, the better it started to sound. Steve, Dustin, and Max stood up in support, which made it impossible for everyone else not to go along. The other alternative was leaving Dustin and Eddie to fend for themselves and nobody wanted that.

It was difficult to leave Lucas, Ericka, and Max behind. Steve turned around to make sure they knew the plan at least a half dozen times before Robin got sick of it and pulled him away. If anyone could handle themselves, it was that trio of humans, even Steve knew that. Regardless, he worried until they were falling onto Eddie’s mattress in the Upside Down. There, they made quick work of setting up the sound system and all the speakers they collected to maximize the effect. If they made it out on the other side, Steve was certain he’d be hooking up something similar in his room in the future.

They ran through the plan one more time before Nancy gave Eddie the signal and the Metallica tape started to play. It was quick moving, getting onto the bikes and down the street to get out of the trailer park before the bats could see them. For the distraction to work, the group needed a pretty decent head start. Seven miles on a bike was still seven miles.

Thankfully, the route wasn’t a difficult one and they made it to the Creel house without any real trouble. In their battle gear, carrying weapons galore, Steve had the smallest feeling that maybe they were ready for what they were heading towards.

Which, of course, meant that they absolutely were not. Dustin was the first to get dragged against the wall, yelling for Steve, for Eddie, for anyone to help him. Steve was quick to start stabbing at the tentacles wrapping Dustin up, but that only worsened the problem. He ran to Dustin’s side, yanking at his arms, tugging at the tentacles tightening around him, but nothing worked. One by one, they were tightly pinned to the wall.

Steve held onto Eddie’s hand for as long as he could.

When Vecna overwhelmed him, Steve was thrown into a memory of his parents leaving him behind for the first time of what he now knew to be so many trips. He remembered the isolation he felt watching their car drive away. Even at thirteen, Steve understood the concept of abandonment. Every second he spent in that cycle, Steve found it harder to call out Eddie’s name, to think about Robin and Nancy and Dustin and the safety they weren’t guaranteed. Then, he thought about his earlier conversation with Max and his attitude changed.

Minutes before Eddie brought up his idea of grand theft auto to get their needed supplies, Max pulled Steve out onto the porch. “I think I should ditch the music, Steve. It’ll draw Vecna to me so you guys have a chance to take him out physically.” She looked immovable when Steve spluttered and caught her eye.

“Max, you can’t be serious.” Steve’s voice was borderline desperate, the fear he was feeling tangible within it.

In true Max fashion, she rolled her eyes at him. Though, she softened a moment later. “When you guys realized the music would work, to help bring me back, I figured something else out along the way. If I think about the things that make me happy I can sort of block him out.” Max smiled as she continued. “You guys have made my life so great these past couple of years, Steve. I have more than enough ammo to keep him at bay.”

Steve had been perplexed by her strength at the time but now he understood. Vecna was slowly feeding on all the bad memories he dragged up from hidden depths of minds riddled with them. For most individuals with trauma, that sort of thing would have isolated them, making an easy target out of each carefully selected victim.

Too bad Steve and his pieced together family had more than trauma to cling to. Calling up times with Dustin gave Steve the strength to wiggle a wrist free. Times with Robin made him able to blink back to the here and now where his friends were facing their own demons. Small details of Eddie with a joint in his mouth and a smile on his face had him yelling out, begging for his friends to think about happier times where Vecna could never truly reach.

When he thumped to the ground, Steve wasn’t certain whether it was ‘his think happy thoughts’ trick or El finally touching down for battle. It didn’t matter, either, because Steve was on his feet running to each of his friends to help them out of the tangled web that almost got them all. He tugged Nancy into a hug and rested his forehead against Robin’s. Dustin clung to him, whispering thank you over and over again. When Steve managed to escape his grasp, he stepped to Eddie, pulling him in by a hand on the cheek. Though it was the worst time for a first kiss, Steve couldn’t help the way their lips found each other’s.

Steve kept Eddie close to him for as long as possible, but there was still work to be done. They shared a meaningful look before turning back to the group as if nothing had happened. Three sets of eyes on them said otherwise, but Steve refused to be worried about it when there were bigger fish to fry. A shake of the house had everyone remembering that, too.

It was dumbfounding to watch Nancy tap into a part of herself that was both badass and brave as she wielded a gun she’d filed down on her own. Steve, Dustin, Eddie, and Robin took a willing backseat to the knowledge Nancy Wheeler had acquired over years of taking on parts of the Upside Down that trickled and leaked and caused havoc. Steve was certain she took great pride in getting to finish off the true villain of their story.

Their work looked to be done when the house suddenly started to shake and the black tentacles made one last push to secure some kind of leg up. They looked between each other before the flight urge kicked in – Steve was sure they were in the clear when all the breath in his lungs left him. He didn’t need to reach down to know that something had gotten him. There was the faintest recognition of voices as Steve first hit his knees, then ground, though distinguishing who and what they were saying was impossible. He looked up at frightened faces just long enough to recognize their worry. Then, blackness set in.

Steve’s slow return to reality started with a bright light in his eyes. It took a few blinks to clear the haze enough to realize that a window was open, letting natural sunlight into the room. He squeezed his eyes shut against the relief that washed over him – Steve hadn’t believed in any of that white light shit until that very moment. Thankfully, the room he was in just had great lighting.

As he slowly started to recognize more things around him, Steve heard a rustle and shift from the other side of the room. He gingerly turned his head to see Robin and Max sitting by the side of his bed. Despite the effort moving demanded, Steve smiled at the sight. He wasn’t all that certain how long he’d been under or what actually happened, but he eventually made it out on the other side. For the time being, that’s all that really mattered.

“You guys are a sight for sore eyes,” Steve said, testing out his voice. It was gravely and rough, yet still usable.

Robin straightened up in her seat, the move bringing her in closer to Steve. She used both hands to grip onto Steve’s forearm – her fingers lit up nerves there Steve was glad to see still working. If he had enough energy, he would’ve turned his hand over, locked it with hers. Instead, he soaked up her warmth and enjoyed the touch.

Max was a little tougher to break. She stayed in her chair for the first few minutes as Steve asked Robin questions about what happened and where they were. Steve waited patiently for her to move in closer until her hands were on Steve’s arm, too. By then, tears were tracking down her cheeks – the easy feeling in the room was quickly replaced by overwhelming relief best expressed by three people crying their eyes out while holding each other. It was a catharsis that Steve was sure Robin and Max needed much more than he did.

It was a lot easier to talk after that. Steve was still trying to orient himself to the fact that three weeks had passed by and more than half of the party wasn’t there. “Where’s Dustin? And Eddie for that matter? Are they okay?”

The look shared between Max and Robin immediately set him on edge. He tried to sit up a little but the thick bandages on his side stopped him. Robin’s hand was on his chest so fast, Steve wondered where she’d been keeping that kind of coordination. “I’ll tell you, but you have to relax. Popping a stitch isn’t going to change anything.”

Taking a deep breath, Steve let Robin’s words calm him down. Now that his head was a little more clear, Steve understood he missed a lot in the weeks he was down. The only way to make up that ground was to stay calm, and while that almost seemed impossible, Steve remembered those last moments of triumph with Eddie and Dustin before the world went black. He could buckle down the panic long enough to get to the bottom of things.

Or so he thought, anyway. The second Steve heard Robin say “Eddie’s been arrested,” the resolve to be calm crumbled to pieces.

“Arrested? He’s innocent!” Steve felt his heart rate increase and the machine he was attached to further proved that by starting to beep loudly. They all looked at the screen with wide eyes. If it went on for much longer, they wouldn’t be alone and Steve would be shit out of luck. Thankfully, Max was perceptive enough to stand up from her chair and settle by his shin on the bed.

She placed a hand on his leg, then proceeded to quietly tell him everything that happened from the beginning. The Hawkins’ police were waiting at the hospital when Steve was brought in. They followed Jason’s hunch that Eddie would be with Dustin, who called 9-1-1 in the first place. Eddie didn’t fight or try to argue, he simply let them cuff him and walked silently to the car. Hopper and Joyce didn’t get there until a couple of days later, so Eddie spent some time behind bars. And while the secret organization working with El was able to get rid of all the criminal charges, the public still wanted someone to blame. The civil suit trial was currently a day or two from being finished and things looked okay for Eddie. But –

“He doesn’t want to see you.” Max looked pained saying the words, like they tasted gross in her mouth, or something. Which made sense because Steve’s entire body prickled upon hearing them.

Steve squinted as he processed what he heard, though it still didn’t make any sense. He remembered Eddie’s smile and the soft press of his lips. What in any of that precious memory caused the older boy to withdraw? “He doesn’t want to see me,” Steve repeated, hoping the statement coming from his own mouth would lessen the blow. It didn’t, but what else was new?

For the next little while, Max and Robin tried to distract him by talking about the massive exit of more than half of Hawkins’s citizens and the Byers’s return from California, but it was all moot. Steve was wrapped up in the thought that Eddie refused to see him. He found it difficult to believe that the moments they shared were a byproduct of trauma bonding, so there had to be something else.

Steve continued to think on it after Robin and Max left to catch the tail end of Eddie’s court proceedings for the day. He searched and replayed all of their time together before the realization that Steve’s worry over his reputation following him around probably played a huge part in why Eddie pulled away from him. With so many eyes on the metalhead, Steve would be thrown in the mix of that, too, simply by being in Eddie’s orbit. Though he appreciated the gesture, Steve couldn’t deny his own frustration with it all.

The second he could, Steve checked himself out of the hospital. The doctor recommended continual bed rest that he could do from absolutely anywhere else. He made a couple of calls before stepping into a pair of scrubs the nurse gave him. His own clothes were beyond ruined when he came in. They took him on the customary wheelchair ride out to the front of the hospital where he slowly limped into Jim Hopper’s truck.

“Thanks for picking me up, Hop.” They were already well on their way by the time that Steve spoke up, though Jim didn’t seem to mind. His silence was a lot like Eddie’s, smooth and easy to exist in.

“You bet, kid,” Hopper said, taking his eyes off the road long enough to nod Steve’s way. “I’m glad to see you up and about. Everyone was worried for a while.”

Steve was positive of that, too. Robin talked about the first few days that were touch and go. Between his instability and Eddie’s fight with the law, the party didn’t have it easy. Vecna’s defeat was nothing compared to Steve almost dying. Eddie in handcuffs was just the cherry on top.

They made a bit more small talk as Steve tried to fish for things about Eddie’s case. Hopper was ever the cop and evaded him seamlessly, however. He was nice about it to the point where Steve wasn’t even sure what he’d been fishing for to begin with. By the time Steve was walking up to his front door, he was well aware that the only way to get information was to go to the source. Slowly, Steve limped through the door just enough to grab his car keys and turn right back around.

It was harder to drive with a stomach wound than Steve first figured. Turning meant bracing his core, which caused a pain so sharp Steve almost drove into another lane of traffic. It took him most of the drive to Eddie’s to figure out a breathing pattern that worked enough to allow him to move the wheel without succumbing to the desire to faint from the subtlest shift of his stitches. He drove so slowly through the trailer park’s dirt road that a small child on a bike passed him in annoyance.

With a pained sigh of triumph, Steve parked his car out in front of Eddie’s. He couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face at the sight of Eddie’s van. He’d been occupied enough throughout the day with trivial shit not to think much about missing the older boy, but now that he was close, Steve’s brain was stuck there, making him ache even more.

Slowly, Steve got himself out of the car and up Eddie’s stairs. He was about to start knocking on the door when it opened to produce the single best vision Steve had seen to date. Eddie was there, all in one piece. Without thinking, Steve stepped forward so he could lean on the doorframe, right in Eddie’s space.

“I heard you didn’t want to see me,” Steve stated, not waiting for Eddie to greet him or protest his presence.

Eddie tried to avoid his eyes, but Steve was insistent. “Don’t avoid me, Munson. You can’t kiss a guy like that and disappear. Regardless of his three week coma.”

Steve could see that Eddie was still trying to cling to his resolve, but the joke was too much – the smallest of smiles broke across Eddie’s lips. It was enough to bring down the poorly patched up dam Eddie tried to build in a sweet attempt to protect Steve.

This time, Steve was the one walking into Eddie’s arms, tucking his face into the warm spot between shoulder and neck. He buried himself in the firm hold of arms that Steve was certain were sturdy enough to fight against anything that might come their way. Steve clung until words started to claw their way up from his chest.

“I choose this, Eddie – to fall, to cross all the lines.” Steve pulled back enough for Eddie to see him, for their eyes to meet. “No matter what, okay?” His hands trailed up from the clutch on Eddie’s back to his neck, where Steve tangled his fingers into the locks of hair there.

Eddie muttered back an “okay” but Steve already knew. The look in Eddie’s eye and the way he was pulling him closer said more than enough. Though, the eventual “why are you in scrubs?” certainly didn’t hurt, either.

Huffing out a laugh, Steve nodded towards the inside of Eddie’s trailer. “Invite me in and I’ll tell you all about it.”

It was easy to sprawl out onto Eddie’s couch like old times as the awkwardness of three weeks apart started to melt away. Eddie rolled a joint and caught Steve up on all the stuff happening with the trial. Dr. Owens hooked the Munson’s up with a great lawyer that was making Eddie’s experience as a suspect into the unjust torture that it truly was. Steve was awake just in time to see the ruling that very next day.

As talk of the case trailed off and the marijuana haze started to kick in, Steve lost track of time and space. The meds he’d been giving at the hospital and the joint they smoked were a perfect combination for true weightlessness. Steve gingerly shifted on the couch until he could lean his head on Eddie’s shoulder, then relaxed completely.

Wayne found them that same way early the next morning.

The court room was surprisingly packed when Steve walked in with Eddie a little while later. It suddenly made sense why the rest of the party wasn’t there when he woke up the previous day, each of the kids was packed into the front row on Eddie’s side, looking around anxiously. Steve left Eddie at the door with a gentle squeeze to the hand and hobbled down the aisle to join them.

He was bombarded with whispered hello’s and a sideways hug from Dustin, who fought to get to the end of the bench to be next to Steve when he sat down. “Sorry I wasn’t there yesterday.” Dustin turned his head to look at Steve with such genuine sincerity that Steve couldn’t help but throw his arm back around the kid and pull him close.

“I’m glad you were here. He needs you, Dusty.” Steve nodded over at Eddie who’d taken his seat next to a well-dressed older man. They were graced with an Eddie Munson smirk before his lawyer was leaning in to whisper last minute plans and words of advice.

Dustin was smiling when Steve turned his attention back to him. “He needs you, too, Steve.” There was something in Dustin’s glance as he spoke, but Steve brushed it off as the boy continued. “It’s all going to work out now. It has to.”

Steve was at a loss for words and thankfully interrupted by the bailiff calling court to order. He slowly stood for the judge and listened impatiently while both lawyers made their closing remarks. Though he paid little attention to the prosecution, Steve was blown away by the narrative Eddie’s lawyer managed to create. Since no one would believe the truth, the defense attorney created a story about an innocent boy hunted by a town that condemned him without any evidence or reason to do so. When the jury came back with an innocent verdict, Steve wasn’t the least bit surprised. While Dr. Owens couldn’t get him off on his own, he definitely equipped Eddie with the best person to do so in his stead.

Everyone anxiously waited for Eddie to come through the court house doors after they were dismissed from the room. There were more than enough people who weren’t happy with the ruling that it was nice to get out of shared air with people that still wanted to curse Eddie’s name. For some people, a label was all they saw and would ever see. Steve had enough hands-on knowledge to understand that fact. Yet, the group of kids that stood next to him made it clear that the right people, who took the time to look, saw through that casing into the something more underneath.

Life was gloriously slow after that. Steve took the needed weeks to recover before making his way back to Family Video. Eddie covered his shifts in the meantime. Days went by without the threat and overt terror of an alternate dimension trying to tear Hawkins apart. Like most things, their little town healed and slowly forgot all the mayhem. Graduation came and went with Nancy, Robin, and Eddie walking the stage. And while everyone was there, Steve was certain he screamed the loudest for all of his friends.

Steve and Eddie spent the summer getting to know each other in all the ways possible. Since Steve’s parents weren’t going to sell the house, they spent most of their time there, slowly filling in all the empty spaces Steve learned to ignore over the years. In the mornings, Eddie woke Steve up with coffee. In the evenings, Steve carried Eddie to bed when the weed and tv became too drowsy of a combination. Things were simple, making the choice to be there with Eddie easier by the day.

He wasn’t all that sure how they’d done it, but Steve lived in the sort of domestic haze he thought could never truly exist. Walking in the door at night was something Steve looked forward to every single day.

Especially when Eddie had the day off and spent most of it wrapped up in writing a DnD campaign. His hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, showing off the long curve of his neck. Glasses, which Steve wasn’t aware of until they started sharing space together, sat on his nose, enhancing the look. Never mind the fact that Eddie had taken to walking around the house in only cut off jean shorts and a cropped Hellfire Club t-shirt. While Steve knew the organized chaos that was Eddie Munson in that moment wasn’t really for him, he appreciated the appearance greatly, nonetheless.

So much so that he snatched the pencil out of Eddie’s hand to capture his attention. He was met with an annoyed look for about a second before Steve had an armful of Eddie Munson, instead. Ever since that first embrace in the Upside Down, Steve liked the way they just sort of fit together.

Eddie shifted onto the balls of his feet to kiss Steve, pulling him away from that thought. His lips tasted like Mountain Dew and the specific pretzels Eddie liked, drawing a soft moan from the depths of Steve’s chest. He loved the little reminders that Eddie was Eddie, that the person he came home to every day was still the glorious human Steve unknowingly fell for in those quiet, in between moments.

Tilting his head to deepen the kiss, Steve chased that flavor. Their tongues tangled in a well-known dance. An empty house left to two twenty year old’s made way for lots of exploration and Steve was a willing adventurer. They fought and succumbed and shifted themselves in the battle of wills until Eddie was puddy under Steve’s ministrations.

It was easy then to make the trip up the stairs to what Steve liked to call “their” room. When they got there, Steve pressed Eddie up against the door and made quick work of the black jean shorts that always drove him crazy. He nosed at the prominent bulge pushing up against boxer briefs Steve was sure were his own. Eager fingers peeled Eddie out of those too so Steve could have free access to all of him.

His lips were eager, wrapping around the head of Eddie’s cock with only a brief look between them. Steve was originally surprised to learn that Eddie got quiet in the more intimate moments – Steve took that fact as a challenge to be good enough to draw those little noises from Eddie’s mouth. In the time they’d spent together, Steve got better at doing that each and every time. He’d never been that great of a student in school, but he loved learning about Eddie. What got him going, what drew him to the edge, what dragged him over it and what had him jumping to that finish. It was much more interesting than English ever was.

A hand in his hair stopped him before Steve really got to work on Eddie’s cock. Steve looked up to see Eddie staring down at him with the brightest eyes. “The bed would probably be better for this,” Eddie panted out with a smirk. Though he was half dressed with his dick out, Eddie oozed confidence that always got Steve going.

It was all hands and mouths and clothes hitting the floor as they made their way over to the bed. Steve found himself on his stomach with Eddie between his thighs the next time he bothered to look up. His hand was fisted in the comforter, the muscles in his thighs shaking. Eddie’s tongue had a magical way of finding all the right spots within him.

Steve was brainless with want when Eddie eventually dug into the side drawer to snag a condom. He didn’t remember much of the prep, aside from the wicked fingertips playing so knowledgably over his prostate. As Eddie sank inside, Steve hung on for dear life.

With whispered words and hard thrusts, Eddie took him apart. His fingers knew all the right places to touch and press so Steve could do nothing but push back to meet each of Eddie’s thrusts. No matter how many times they found themselves like this, Steve could never quite grasp onto the overwhelming passion that colored their time together. And maybe that’s what made it so damn good.

Steve happily gave the entirety of his being over to their connection and the knowledge that when he chose to fall, Eddie would be right there with him, experiencing the free fall by his side. It wasn’t about being caught, Steve realized that every time Eddie brought him over the edge. What existed between them would always be a safe place to land. All the fun and exhilaration came from the choice Steve made to step off the cliff and let gravity do its thing.

Lucky for him, Eddie always thought the risk was worth it, too.

#steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #steveddie #steve/eddie #steddie fanfic #steddie fics #steve harrington #eddie munson #bobbie writes #(for you) i'd break these walls

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alltherecs · 4 years ago

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hi! do you take requests for lost fics? because i was reading this one where johnny was the omega + patrick was the alpha but i can't find it anymore?

hi babes! sure, absolutely! i’m going to compile a list of alpha!patrick fics that i know right off hand, but if these aren't the one you’re looking for, let me know!

O4A by anon | E, wip, coming in just short of 20k

Jonny's not in heat. He's not looking for a boyfriend or more than one rough fuck from an alpha in rut to get him through the week. He didn't know it'd be Patrick Kane on the other side of this app.

Between the Pipes by sorrylatenew | E, oneshot, 4k

Jonny’s never spent a heat with another guy, alpha or no. Never had an honest-to-god-dick-attached-knot inside him. Never been with someone he used to daydream about lifting his ass up for, even on suppressants.

How to Tame Jonathan Toews by aseaofwords | E, oneshot, 3.5k

The one where Jonathan goes into heat unexpectedly, and Patrick learns his secret.

I'll Be The Cure by thefourofswords | E, oneshot, 19.5k

Patrick always tells him that when Jon’s First Night comes he doesn’t have to go through with it. Nobody can make him. They’ve come a long way in the last fifty years. But it’s easy to just say that, Patrick wouldn’t be failing everybody in his life to simply say no.

Jonny's an omega with an arrangement with an alpha for his first heat. Patrick is not that alpha.

how the heat can beat beat beat (series: how the heat) by allthebros | E, oneshot, 3.7k

Jonny's heat comes early and unexpectedly strong. Pat is there, on the other side of the locked door, to help him through it.

to break and swell (series: how the heat) by allthebros | E, oneshot, 3.7k

Pat's rut isn't going well. This time, it's Jonny's turn to help him through it.

Rattle Your Walls by hatrickane (dandelionwhiskey) | E, complete, 12.6k

Patrick really enjoys being an omega. He's good at it. He's learned how to hone his skills enough to not want to climb every alpha who gives him the time of day. That's why it's really, really uncool when he wakes up one day as an alpha with no control over his instincts. To make matters worse, his alpha best friend is in the opposite boat. If Patrick can't handle being an alpha, Jonny definitely can't handle being an omega.

#lost and found #1988 #kazer #anon anon #a/b/o dynamics

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evendeadlmthehero · 5 years ago

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The Keepers (1/10): “Trick or Treat”

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Based on after the events of Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: FFH

Summary: The Keepers, they call themselves. Little children know them as Santa, The Easter Bunny, Leprechaun, Jack O’ Latern and you. You’re Valentine Cupid; a seducing-angel who’s good with arrows. The Keepers have been a secret for centuries, but when one member goes rogue, this forces The Keepers out of hiding and needing the help of The Avengers.

Warnings: swearing, brief mention of suicide from a family member

‘The Keepers’ Masterlist

You hummed to yourself as music played faintly against the pristine white walls of the kitchen. Your foot slowly tapped to the rhythm of the bass, your hand gently moving the strand of hair that had befallen against your face.

Today was Halloween, meaning tomorrow was Thanksgivings day. Although there was no Keeper for Thanksgivings day, as it was created by humans rather than an ancient beings, you still wanted to celebrate it with your fellow members.

So you marinaded a turkey with exotic spices before placing it in the fridge as the song ended. You smiled to yourself, wiping the sweat off your brow before checking the time.

6:42pm, the clock had read. In ten minutes, it was sundown. This had also meant Jacko would have to leave the house and come back when the clock strikes twelve.

“Time to scare some children,” you heard Jacko speak as he entered the kitchen, buttoning up his black shirt. Yes, it was Jacko Latern himself, the Keeper of Halloween and mischief. The once man probably had it the secound worse out of all of you guys.

See, Jacko was a simple man before. He was a French farmer in the 1370’s. He had died from the Black Plague at the age of 32. When he had woken up, it had came to a shock that his whole craniofacial area was a pumpkin head rather than a human one. It had taken him a while to finally accept that he will never have his human face again. You had seen photos when he was still a human, and no one could deny his irresistible boyish looks.

The person who had it the worst out of all of you, even Jacko? Osterhase Spring. Also known as the Easter Bunny. He was also a simple man, living in the poor outskirts of New York when the Great Depression hit during the 1930’s. His daughter had then fallen terribly ill so Osterhase was forced to steal medicine, but was caught in the process.

This had costed him his life. And when he had woken up? He was a two-foot tall bunny. In normal circumstances, this would have been hilarious. But his daughter had died from the illness causing his wife to take her life. The poor women thought that not only her child was dead, but so was her husband. Not knowing her husband was a full, grown rabbit, too afraid and embarrassed to show his face to his own wife.

See, none of you guys chose to be here. All of you would give anything to go back to the previous lives you lived. The one where you worked a $10 an hour job and came back to your lover waiting for you at home. But it was fate. Fate had brought you guys together. The Keepers were a family that looked out for one another. It was a family you never asked for but was glad you had.

“Easy there big boy,” you spoke with your velvety voice. You were the artist of seduction and love, of course you had an alluring presence. “You can’t just scare them. You have to give candy as well.”

“You’re always the sweet one, aren’t you Valentine?” Jacko smirked at you, his carved eyes lighting up with flames. You were always fascinated by his facial structure. How fate had given him such a detailed carved pumpkin head that was lit up with fire. It was almost poetic, really. “But then again, what did I accept from the most gorgeous women alive?”

“Stop your flirting Jacko,” you heard a gruff voice speak. Nicholas Santa entered the the kitchen, a sour and tired look in his face. This wasn’t something new. This man had been alive since light first touched the earth. He was grumpy the day he realised he was the only original keeper left. “Keepers aren’t allowed to date one another.”

“Relax Christmas,” Jacko scoffed as you awkwardly walked around them to place the spices back into the cabinets. “It’s harmless flirting. We don’t see each other like that.”

“Awe Jacko, you really broke my heart,” you looked back at him with a pout, closing the door of the cabinet. “Am I really not pretty enough for you?”

Nicholas scoffed, grabbing milk before leaving the kitchen. You laughed at the old man and his tendencies of taking jokes way too seriously. Out of all the people here, Nicholas probably was most reserved one. He didn’t get today’s customs and norms. He didn’t want to. He was still an oldie by heart.

“Well,” Jacko spoke, walking over to you before placing a kiss on your cheek. He gave you one last final look before walking backwards slowly. “It’s time for Halloween to begin. I have a feeling this is will be the greatest holiday yet.”

“That’s what you always say!” You yelled back at him as his figure started walking towards the door. “But Valentine’s Day will always be the best holiday!”

“You guys both know it’s Easter, right?” Osterhase spoke as he walked into the living room, jumping on the couch. He grabbed the remote before turning on the TV. “Kids love their chocolate eggs.”

Jacko shook his head before opening the door of the house and leaving. You walked over to the couch, stealing the remote off of Osterhase. “Hey! I was watching Grey’s Anatomy!”

“That’s boring,” you replied back, changing the channel before it landed on the news. You were going to switch channels until you realised who it was on the news.

“Many of you have been asking for months now about the status of the Avengers. I am here today to introduce the members,” a dark-skinned male had spoke into the mic. “First member is of course myself, Sam Wilson. We also have Wanda Maximoff, James Rhoudes and Bruce Banner.”

You bit the inside of your cheek as you saw Bruce Banner stand behind Sam with the other Avengers on-screen. You disliked the Avengers, especially Bruce Banner. Osterhase felt your anger and grabbed your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Hey, it’s okay.”

You heard a ringing in your ear as you quickly ran. To where, you do not know. All you knew is that Earth was under attack and you needed to get out of the centre of New York City before these aliens could kill you.

You cried as you heard a loud shuttle above you, as you collapsed on the ground, letting out a scream. You were desperate to leave. You just wanted to go home. Home to your fiancé. You look up to see that it was Iron Man who had flown above you. This had gave you the hope that the Avengers were here to rescue you.

They were here to rescue you, right?

You heard footsteps near you, making you look to your left. Aliens had growled at you, pointing their weapons at you. This was it, you had thought. This was how you died. You closed your eyes, accepting your fate until you saw a green giant scream as he grabbed them and chucked them against the wall.

It was the Hulk. He had saved your life. At least, in that moment, that’s what you had thought. You had thought that the Hulk understood right from wrong, evil from good. But it turns out the monster was filled with rage, rage that cannot be tamed. Rage that had caused blindness to the eyes. The Hulk was never a hero. The Hulk was anger.

He turned around and looked at you. You had wanted to thank him. But the Hulk let out a blood curdling roar before chucking a car your way.

It happened in slow motion. You felt all the bones within you break, one by one, splinter by splinter, before you were nothing but a number on the death toll. ‘The Battle of New York’, they had called it. ‘The Avengers’ they had called them. And you? You were death number 53 out of 74. Only a hashtag on twitter for 23 days.

Your eyes had fluttered open as you took in your surroundings. You were in a little cottage home, a blanket wrapped around you. Four men surrounded you, faces grim as they had to tell you the worse news of your life. That you had died and now must claim the mantle of Cupid. That you must learn the arts of seduction and precision with arrows. That you had to leave everything behind, including the love of your life.

“Now I will introduce new members,” Sam continued to speak as you ignored Osterhase and continued watching the screen. “Here we have Peter Parker, Ant-Man, The Wasp, Queen Valkeryie, Black Panther, Carol Danvers, Dr Strange and Bucky Barnes. We will be opening a new building in San Fransisco that will generate 5,000 new jobs and decrease traffic by approximately-“

You changed the channel until you reached some random reality show. You placed the remote down as you crossed your arms together out of frustration. You didn’t get it. How the Avengers could kill so many and still be celebrated. Still be able to have their own building worth billions of dollars. How their salaries come from the pockets of taxpayers. “Hey Valentine? Are you okay?”

You nod your head yes, your tongue against your cheek. You were snapped out of your thoughts as Saint Patrick walked in with a smile on his face. “Anyone wanna play UNO?”

“Fuck off,” Osterhase spoke, grabbing the remote back to change the channel to Grey’s Anatomy again. “You always cheat.”

“I do not!” Saint spoke, his hand against his chest as if he had been offended.

“Ah yeah you do,” You spoke back, making Saint let out a scoff. “Your powers are literally to increase your odds at things going your way. You’re literally the embodiment of luck.”

“That isn’t cheating!” Saint argued back, but his small stature had not aided him in anyway. He then sighed, throwing the packet on the table. “Fine, I just wanted to spend some time with you guys.”

You watched the Leprechaun walk away, a pang of guilt consuming your body. You let out a sigh, grabbing the packed of UNO cards before chucking it on his head. You were the god of precision, of course it landed directly on his head. ��C’mon Lannister, go deal the cards.”

Saint smiled excitedly, running over to deal the cards. Osterhase let out a sigh, tired of being interrupted from Grey’s Anatomy but happy to be apart of this social bonding despite not showing it. Saint dealed the cards to everyone, making sure everyone got the same number of cards before placing all the rest down.

You guys played for hours. Of course, Saint had won them all. You tried not to bring up how his powers were cheating, just happy to see him get excited and to get some family quality time with you and Osterhase. At some point, Nicholas Santa had come down to see what the fuss and yelling was about.

Only to come down to see you guys laughing and playing games. It brought a smile to the old man’s face, reminding him of the first group of Keepers. He wish he could have joined you guys, but he didn’t have it within him to suck up his pride and join in. So he left.

“Okay I think that’s enough for today,” you laughed, shaking your head as Saint had won once again. “You’re obviously the King of Uno.”

“And cheating,” Osterhase replied back, his ears falling down in dissapointment as he always came last.

“I think next game you have a chance to win,” Saint suggested, trying to lure you into another game. Osterhase scoffed, chucking the cards at Saint’s face, making you laugh. You eyes unintentionally made their way to the clock, filling with confusion when you realised that it was late and Jacko still wasn’t here.

“Guys, it’s 2AM and Jacko’s still not here,” you told them, your heart dropping to your stomach. You were worried. The person who were closest to still wasn’t home, leaving you feeling queasy. “Maybe we should look for him?”

“Awe c’mon Valentine, you know Jacko,” Osterhase spoke, leaning back on the sofa as he put one leg on top of the other. “He’s probably just showing off the little fucker.”

Osterhase then got off from the sofa and yawned. “Alright kids, I’m off to bed.”

You nodded at him, watching his retreating figure. You felt a hand grab yours as your eyes met the green one’s of a certain leprechaun. “Hey Val, maybe you should get some rest. Osterhase is right, Jacko is probably trying to make this Halloween the best holiday of the year.”

You nodded him, giving him the best smile you could muster. He smiled back, before getting up to head back to bed as well. Your smile faltered as you looked back at the time, realising how late it was. You had a bad feeling and you could tell that something wasn’t right.

So you stayed up. You stayed up all night trying to wait for Jacko to show up. 3AM, 4AM and 5AM passed, and there was still no signs of him. Your eyes were desperate to shut, but it couldn’t outweigh your desperation to ensure Jacko had made it back on time.

The sun had begun to rise, and still no sign of the pumpkin carved faced. The hope that Osterhase and Saint had enstalled onto you had begun to dim down until it was nothing but a flicker every now and then. You watched outside the window, seeing the clouds pass by slowly until they went out of your line of vision.

You heard a small bang before quiet footsteps. Out of fear, you grew your wings that hid inside your back. They were around 3 meters wide each and were covered with white feathers. Your normal clothing was also replaced with body armour, which was a white, short-gladiator-like dress. Your hair also self-braided in a way that Daenerys Targaryen herself would be jealous of.

You then pulled out the arrow and quickly pointed it towards the source of the sound. You let out a sigh when you realised it was just Saint standing there, his hands up in surrender. “You scared the hell out of me Irish.”

“I just wanted to check up on you, didn’t realise you’d armour up and try to shoot me,” Saint spoke as he watched your wings motion back inside your back and your normal clothes adorned your body once again. “And plus, lets be real. Your the best aimer in the world. But with my luck, you would’ve missed.”

“I never miss,” you spoke back as your hair fell perfectly against your face after de-suiting. You then sighed, falling back against the sofa. “You lied.”

“About what?”

“Jacko never came back,” you whispered as you felt tears well up in your eyes. They didn’t fall though. You didn’t want them to. “You said he would.”

“Valentine I-“ Saint started before he stopped himself, his eyes stopping at Osterhase and Nicholas figures. Osterhase looked disappointed whereas Nicholas was shocked as this was the first time he was hearing of Jacko’s disappearance.

It was a day of mourning. Because it was the day you lost a member. A member who did not die, because if he did there would be a new Halloween keeper, but rather just left. He left you guys without a word.

He left you without a word

1 Month and 10 Days Later

Bucky felt his phone buzz under his pillow. Groaning, the soldier pressed the power button twice to decline the call. Not even five secounds later, the phone started buzzing again. This time, Bucky picked up his phone and chucked it far away from him so that the buzzing did not disturb his sleep.

“Incoming call from Sam Wilson,” F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke, making Bucky groan once again, chucking the pillow at the wall. He was trying to get F.R.I.D.A.Y to stop talking so he could get some shut eye, obviously forgetting that F.R.I.D.A.Y is an inanimate object who cannot be hit with a pillow.

“Decline!”

“I’m afraid this is urgent Mr Barnes,” Bucky let out a sigh, brushing his now short hair back as he rubbed his eye. He was frustrated that he was deprived of sleep.

“Tin man you have 5 minutes to suit up!” Sam yelled into the phone. This had awoken Bucky, as Sam’s voice was laced with urgency. “It’s a possible Level 7 threat.”

At this news, Bucky quickly suited up. For a while now, Bucky had been dealing with Level 3-5, nothing major. Drug cartels, human trafficking and the threat of a new emergence of a disease from some wacko with an IQ of 250, is what Bucky had dealt with.

But level 7? Level 7 is a worldwide threat. The ‘world is at stake’ threat. It deals with crazy aliens from outer space, gods who think they should rule earth and robots who believe in the extinction of mankind.

Bucky quickly ran out of his room in the new San Fransisco Avenger’s tower and bolted towards the office where they usually talk battle strategies and threats. When Bucky had finally made it, Wanda, Bruce, Sam and Peter were already there.

“Now that Bucky is here, let us begin,” Sam spoke with the leadership quality that had been bestowed to him when Steve had given him the shield. “Just a minute ago, our radars detected strange weather patterns, high energy readings and a great deal of movement from civilians. Bruce and I then proceeded to look at what’s going on with satellite images.”

Live footage started playing. Bucky squinted as he saw a man in a pumpkin head, fighting with a 2-foot rabbit, an old man in a red suit, a very short man in green clothing and women in a short white dress who had wings attached to her back.

“Who are they?” Wanda spoke confusedly as she watched on. The pumpkin-headed man was shooting flames at the four individuals as civilians were desperately running away, looking for shelter.

“We don’t know,” Bruce spoke, folding his arms up. “But we shouldn’t take chances. We have a quinjet set up outside to take us to New York. We will have to arrest them and take them into questioning. Be prepared. We don’t know them. They could have powers beyond belief. We are going in blind.”

“Wait a minute,” Peter spoke, his eyes widening in realisation. “Don’t you guys get it!”

“Get what?” Sam spoke, looking at the screen to the five individuals. The women with the arrow flew up, flinging an arrow towards the pumpkin man who just used his fire to disintegrate the incoming threat.

“The old man! In a red suit! Who’s making snow!” Peter yelled, getting up from his seat. “That’s Santa! And the two-foot rabbit is the Easter bunny! Guys, everyone in this video is part of some holiday.”

“Peter you are way too imaginative for your own good,” Sam spoke, making Peter slowly back down to his seat. Sam looked back at the screen at the old man with the red suit. “You’re trying to tell me this man goes around the whole world once a year while fighting a pumpkin for the rest of the 364 days he has off?”

“I don’t know Sam, the kid’s onto something,” Wanda spoke to Sam. “I mean, aliens flying in from outer space? Magical stones? Greek gods our mothers used to read to us when we were kids? Is it hard to believe that the tales of Santa and the Easter Bunny didn’t have some truth behind it?”

Bucky’s eyes fell back onto the screen when your face had popped up. He watched as you flew and landed gracefully on two feet before trying to successfully land an arrow on the man attacking you.

His mind was on a whirlpool as he couldn’t decipher how one can be this beautiful, this elegant. You were a beauty beyond compare and your face was one that Bucky will remember for the rest of his life.

“Cupid,” Bucky whispered to himself, making all the Avengers turn towards him. He shook his head, before looking at Sam. “She’s Cupid. She’s got the blonde hair and Roman clothing. She’s got wings and her choice of weaponary are arrows-“

“And she’s hot!” Peter chimes in, but instantly quitened down as everyone started at him. His face went red as he looked down at his hands. “Sorry. Continue Mr Barnes.”

“When she shoots her arrows and it lands on the dude shooting fire, it doesn’t kill him or even cause him pain for that matter. But it does make him less inclined to kill her. And what is a Cupid’s known activity? To shoot people with arrows and trigger attraction between people,” Bucky finished before looking back at the screen. “Peter, as annoying he is, might be right about this.”

“Well whoever they are we have to arrest them,” Sam spoke, grabbing the remote to turn off the screen. “So we’re leaving now. Wanda, you’re going up against Pumpkin head and Santa Clause. Peter, you’re going up against the large rabbit and Bucky you’ll go after Miss Universe while I go take on the Mr Cabbage patch kid. Bruce, you come in if things go out of hand.”

Bruce nodded before all of the Avengers stood up, ready to leave to room and fight a battle in New York. Bucky remained in his seat, smiling at Sam. Sam looked at him confusedly as all the Avengers left the room but him. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Oh nothing,” Bucky teased, getting up from his seat before giving Sam a light punch on the arm. “Great job today Captain America.”

Sam smiled to himself as Bucky had left the room. He had a serious weight on his shoulder after being given the Mantle from Steve himself. He had faced a lot of criticism and racism from the public and the higher rank officials. But one things for sure. Sam was glad he had Bucky through all of it.

He was just hoping this mission goes smoothly and he doesn’t fail. That the Avenger’s don’t fail.

TAGLIST (CLOSED)

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