#this is supposed to be a concert with friends and theyre making it all about their soulmate business again 🙄

[gunsatthaphan]

???

[phant0mmm-jaiden]

SPNNASH BUT ITS ALL THE STUFF I GOT (check out my photo-op post too)

starting off strong, y’know that noise maker Jared used in my photo op with him?

I still have it. He just gave it back when we had to leave the pictures. Just “Hope you have a great birthday” while giving me it back. I don’t know what to do with it, I guess it’s just here now KAKDJFJ I was going to let J2 keep the noise makers because like. wtf am I going to do with them, but we just have them still

SIGNED LOUDEN SWAIN SHIRT AAAAA I’ve said it once i’ll say it again THEYRE SO NICE while the band was signing my shirt, Rob talked with me and my group about the drive to Nashville and the convention happening in our area next year. Me when people have conversations with me 🤭🤭 as someone with social anxiety any successful social interaction with people- especially people who I look up to- is the most important thing like ever. I love that they’re so nice and so social with fans it stops be from overthinking it

LOUDEN SWAIN GUITAR PICK i took of the stage after the band left. I don’t think I was supposed to take them but no one stopped me either so 🎉 I have it and I think it’s really cool. It’s used- idk by who specifically but they’re all cool so it could have been used by any one of them and i’d still be winning

SIGNED DICK JR. AND THE VOLUNTEERS SHIRTS I’m actually a fake fan because I couldn’t see his concert because we drove into Nashville that day and missed it KAKSJDN But I love them so much, I wish I saw them, but I still saw Richard play at the Louden Swain concert, up close because we were in the pit by where he was playing, and I felt really cool. This is a side note but i also really wanted the Ro-Bert (come down and squirt- some lemon on your shrimp) shirt but by the time we looped back around to get it the vendors were closed 😭 if they don’t have it at the convention near me I’m gonna crash out lol

Dean Winchester Bracelet replica, I want to wear it 24/7, unfortunately it’s a little lose and it scares me sometimes but that won’t stop me from wearing it as much as possible

The Roadhouse Game Night Keychain and Pin, the game night was so fun- albeit stressful cause social anxiety, but we won the Family Feud part soooo I feel good abt it at the end of thing WHY WASNT LAWYER THE #1 ANSWER FOR “what would Sam be if he wasn’t a hunter” HE WAS IN LAW SCHOOL it was still #3 BUT STILL. very fun 10/10 recommend

Sam and Dean Initial Blanket, it’s so soft i’m laying down with it right, my friend also got a really good supernatural blanket so now we’re twinning

Did you make it this far? Did you know I’m working on a Supernatural OC? you can find her on my page, feel free to ask question! (please ask questions I crave to talk about her)

[john-bitchester]

Bubbles watches Supernatural season 5, episode 22: swan song.

This is a 42 minute episode. It took me 2 hours and a half to get through becase I had so many feelings and thoughts. Enjoy

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON, THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DOOONEEE. LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REEEST, DON’T YOU CRY NO MOOOOORREEEEE

Ah gabe how I miss you

Not you zacharia I hate you

I never cared about a car as much as I have about a 1967 chevrolet impala

I love that Dean canonically picks out his dads car, because it is the same as his dads car, who chose it because is son recommended it to hem because it reminded the son of his dads car who...

IM SORRY

Sammy sitting on the hood like that does things to me

No no no dean youre being stupid

Wdym youre on board

AAAH DEAN LOOK AT YOU GROWING UP SEEING SAMMY AS A BIG BOY

Its still a stupid plan tho

Not normal about them

Nomnom blood

This gives a whole new meaning to milking

No poor sam look at his face he is stressed

'Angels don't sleep'

Didnt we already establish that he is humaned

WE TALKED ABOUT STAGE 2 SUICIDE IDIATION

'You go to lisa and pray to god shes dumb enough to take you in' HAHAHHAHA spoken like a true sibling

You're so silly sam you know dean would start a second apocalypse for you

SEE YA IN HELL

NO

The way I screamed

'When he gets in, keep fighting, don't give an inch'

'Yes sir'

NO SAM THATS BOBBY DONT YOU DARE YES SIR HIM

I cant tell if it's because this was how dickchester always talked to him so it's reflex, or if it’s Sam's way of saying 'youre like a father to me'

Imma go with both for my sanity

My friend bunbun: that john issues run deep with these boys

Me: The mariana trench would be impressed

'Oh I'm supposed to lie'

'Suuure... they'll be.. fiiiiine'

Cass I love you so, you are so real for this

That cannot be tasty

Or good for the stoomy

Oh my god Sam is high as a kite

Nooo not chuck going over the impala memoriessss

Noooooo

I need you to know that I'm watching this, hand clasped over my mouth, going NoOoOoOoOo

I have a feeling that the memories of the car will make sam able to grasp control again or smt

Also, dean is such a sentimental washcloth, rebuilding the car with the legos and the soldier man

Oh sam that was sexy of you (Zapping the demons by just closing his eyes)

'I live, he lives, we get our parents back'

Heres the thing, from videos and fic I know that at some point sam lives for a year or so without dean

So now im like, uh oh

I feel like this is an act

Its all an act

Ofcourse they knew the devil would know about the horsemen

Theyre his main henchmen, it would be stupid to think that the devil wouldnt know about the rings

Finally, the boy has memorised something (The spell for the cage)

aaaaaaaaahgg

COME ON SAMMY

aaaahshfhm fukb fgbukgxfubkrgxukb

NO NO NO NO NO

SAAAAM BE STRONG

......

Wtf Lucy that is so not funny

Pretend that Sam had won the fight with lucy in his brain

Only to then be like "jk"

Dean you shouldve just kicked him in the hole while his back was at you

Fidget spinner of power hihi

Why would he let dean live

Michael's vessel

NAH THE DEVIL JUST MADE A VERY FUNNY STAR WARS REFERNCE'

I suggest we become drunk' -cass

Oph my god these dumbasses really did think lucy wouldn't know of the rings

NoOoOoOo Bobby mourning his sooon

I am not well

I know what you can do, dean

You can have some gay sex with the angel

Knowing this was meant to be the end end makes it so much worse

I cant do this in my own oh my gosh

Im literally going like 'crying noise, noohoo Bunbuuun'

Them gazing th stars togehter on clear nights🥺🥺🥺🥺

Driving 2 days for a game, and a week for a concert

Heart goes auch

Nooooooo

Not okay about this

Its the Good Omens finale all over again

Chuck has grown on me

WELL THEN I AINT GONNA LET HIM DIE ALONE

Winchester pt3 you fool

I cant say i trust lucy, but hes making some good points

God is giving abusive father for sure

'You made me do this' he tells his kids

Another thougth, actually

Sam and dean where the perfect vessels because of ther lineage, cain and abel, i believe

But also bc they were representative of michael and lucy themselves

But hear me out. What if john and god are also reminiscent of each other

After all, the brothers couldn't be who they became without their father, have it be winchester or the angels

Both brothers (lucy & michael vs winchester) didnt have a mother

Had a father who was demanding

And both pairs of brothers, as established by the shwo, are the same. The loyal warrior who never doubted the father, and the fallen, who did

They could never become these people without the father, ergo, without god and john

We know john was a horrible father

So even ingoring what lucy is proposing here (god made me as I am) and my own opinions on God, the train of logic still assumes that God had to be, is, equally as abusive towards the brothers as z

John was towards the winchester brothers

Please tell me that cassete is 'Carry on wayward son' by kansas

Or no, even better, the one song by asia hahahha

WTF DEAN HAHAHAH THAT WAS NOT THE MUSIC I EXPECTED

SORRY AM I INTERUPTING SOMETHING

You know, whenever I'm annotating the episodes lke I'm doing now, it always takes me an hour to watch an episode instead of the forty minutes that it actually last

but at the speed I am annotating and thinking right now , it will genuinely take me twice as long.

like it will take me an hour and a half at least I think. (Ha! Bubbles. You fool. It nearly took you 2 hours and a half)

Youre next on my list buttercup

CASS WHERE THOSE YOUR FIRST BIG BOY WORDS! (Hey, assbutt!)

Not the molotov cocktail fhrnifhhf

WHAT THE FUCJ

CASTI3L WHAT THE DU JDUCK

Holy fuck

I need a moment

No

Sammy it's okay I'm here

Bunbun I am so unwell about this

Unwell

I KNEW IT

OH MY GOD I FUCKING CALLED IT

Im not crying youcrying

I love that they do this flasback bit with jus wind, and the 'tok' sound every now and then

Makes it a very strong scene

SCREAMING

ENDING ON THE HUG SCREAMING

The fact that the actual hug removes the white noise

Unwell

oh

Oh my god

Sam is going to pull michael with him

I can feel it

Okay I think this is one of the few times the bad cgi actually kinda ruined it for me

No

Hes all alone

He cant be

No one who could possibly begin to understand left

Have I mentioned Im not okay

Cass

The relief in my voice when I whispered this out loud just now is ludicrous

And now, kiss

'Cass are you god?' Oh sweetie

BOBBY

this is making me think of john milton

'And as they walk hand in hand, slowly their way through eden"

Along those lines

Chuck quit yer bitchin

Dean really went, 'okay god, its personal now'

Peace, or freedom?

Holy fuck

Because he made a promise

My stomach is genuinly physically aching

The fact that even deans voice sounds broken

Actually crying rn

What if chuck is god

WHAT THE FUCK CHUCK WHERE DID YOU GO

NAH DONT TELL ME IM FUCKING RIGHT

SAM WTF

Sam? Lucy?

Sam

Oh im sorry it cant stop here wtf

How where they ever plannning on stopping like this that is unholy

1h 30 later:

I know i started spn on my own accord, but I hope you know what you did

I was eating with my parent just now, and during the entired meal (now still) carry on was playing on repeat in my head. Coming from someone who typically lives a soundtrack-free life

Another hour later:

Still recovering

Have been having imaginative co-star interviews with jared padalecki for about 2 hours now. It's a coping mechanisnm

Literally my whole day was spn

I woke up with fic. Ate lunch with an episode. Watched the finale, read more fic

I am unwell

[drdemonprince]

Yes, that explanation completely makes sense! And I’m quite comfortable with disappointing people. I know for sure that I do it all of the time. I’m no stranger to rejection, either. I’m just in a really effing weird situation where someone isn’t properly rejecting me (I am deeply familiar what rejection feels like, and this ain’t it) so I have to adapt and just like, disappoint in new, similarly uncomfortable ways.

To be honest, it’s such a strange situation that I’ve grown to enjoy the challenge of adjusting to it. I’d much rather it make sense to me, and I hope that eventually it will, but I have no control over that right now, and that’s fine. The lack of control used to be quite painful and emotionally damaging, but now it’s often quite amusing. Sometimes stuff just doesn’t make sense, y’know? Especially when people are hiding the sense from you, and they don’t owe you any explanations.

It’s like “I’ve grown accustomed to your face” and the face is just someone being disappointed 🙃 I know people cut other people out of their lives for that sort of thing, but I care about this person more than I care about their apparent disappointment, so instead of “I hate myself for loving you,” it’s “I love myself for loving you.” Does that make sense to you?

Sorry for harping on about this, like I said, it’s just a very strange situation so I appreciate opportunities to at least explain myself, since I can’t explain the other person.

Hi, thanks for writing again! I mean it sounds like you are coping very well with being interested in someone who sucks? Or isnt treating you right? that youre not harping too much on a situation thats pretty unfulfilling to you, which is great, but maybe you would be better off leaving it

Theres this stage in codependency recovery where the codependent is supposed to ask themselves "if [partner] never changes, what would i do? regardless of what this other person does, what do i need in my life to make that life worth living?" and then they go and do that.

maybe they break up w the person they were codependent to. maybe they dont. doesnt matter. the point is that they have stopped making the other person the center of their world, and theyre going out living their own life rather than making decisions based on how it would impact the other person or the relationship. pretty much the opposite of memory foaming.

i got to this place in my last serious relationship years before the relationship ended. i realized he was never gonna make more time for me, was never going to contribute to finances, was never gonna contribute to household tasks, was never gonna want quality time, was never going to want to go out with me to do any of the things i enjoyed, and was never gonna get good at messaging me back. i said to myself okay, if thats all true, and he is never going to change or ever give me what i want no matter how i act and no matter what i do for him, what do i want out of life then?

and i started going to conventions. and conferences. and mister international leather. and concerts. and book readings. i made new friends at support groups and book clubs and gaming groups. i invited people to the museum or to concerts in the park. i tried new hobbies. i made a full life all around myself instead of waiting for him to change and give anything satisfying to me. and so, by the end of it, when i dumped him i lost almost nothing except for a fantasy.

I dont know your situation but it sounds to me like you want to be okay with doing more for someone than they bring you in the relationship. And i think that kinda arrangement always has an end date. but i only hope that you arent like i was and dont stick around past that end date for years.

[madame-bavarian-cream]

AOT characters and music they’d listen to:

feat. Levi, Mikasa, Eren, Jean, Erwin, Hange, Armin, Sasha, Connie

But it’s really specific and not at all based off of people i know 😀 (i never ever do this but it was a thought that wouldnt leave me alone).

Eren: 

i’m sorry am I supposed to believe this dumb mf doesn’t listen to only tiktok songs w/o any awareness of him doing it???? He’ll be like “hey have you heard this new song?” 😄😄and its just an edited version of a song made by the neighbourhood years ago 😕 PLSSS sir diversify your tastes!!! he obsessively listened to that “my money don’t jiggle jiggle” song unironically. Before tiktok, he would only listen to music on that Top50 spotify playlists and the only playlists he had saved outside of it was one mikasa made for him. 😐😐 Also he hasn’t listened to the sza album and thinks the big boys song is on it (keep up 😤😤😤)

Levi:

i was so close to just saying he doesn’t listen to anything “why do u need music when you can just appreciate the silence??” BECAUSE SIR music sounds GOOD!!! 🤨🤨this is why i’d think he’d listen to shit like Kaleo?!?!?! 😭😭😭 idek just something that litterally does not evoke a single emotion . its just like . there . He probably might listen to the lumineers on occasion (ik theyre really good don’t come at me🫣🫣) poor bb would probably like heavy metal if somebody ELSE played it for him (he would never admit to it tho) bc its something Kenny used to play when he was younger but never asked him what kind of music it was to search it up himself. 🥺🥺

Mikasa: 

my sweet girl. :( she is a fiend!! she is a pinchrest, lana del rey, mitski, rina, bjork, tv girl, marina girly thru and thru🤩🤩(im not pulling this from my spotify i sweAR) shes so deadfaced about it. she shits on all those weird coquette girlies tho!! (as she should queen!!!) Never will admit to listening to it tho, and not because she’s embarrassed but because she doesn’t want anyone thinking she relates to the themes/subject matter (bbg why are you lying🥲🥲) But that’s okay because we can consume art critically! 😁😁😀

Jean:

oh dear god. save this white man pls. 😢😢ok okok he actually has pretty good taste in music. hes the type that argues “i love all kinds of music just not country” (but ya know hes singing along to 9 to 5 everytime it plays on shuffle🤭🤭) he’s also very idgaf with the type of music he listens to and for that reason he’ll put you onto amazing artists!!! I feel like he listens to a lot of Omar Apollo, Sega Bodega, Dominic Fike, idkkk. He also listens to A LOT of Brent Faiyaz, the weeknd, and Gunna.😍😍BUTT I also will die on this hill that he used to love Eminem and would memorize all the lyrics (jeanboy is the real slim shady)😙 i luv him, he burns cds for all his friends (yes eren too) but will hand them off so nonchalantly and will be so careful in making the order of the tracks (yes eren too) and everyone will mock him for being so loving (yes eren too). Anyways I headcanon that jean is very very open with giving out all his love to his friends, always hosting everyone (yes eren too), wears his heart on his sleeves, tells his mom every little detail about them, and has the entire checklist for being a good friend down. anyways this isn’t unfortunately a jean post :( i luv him so much actually. also a big radiohead fan for some reason !😝😝

Hange:

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!! hange has the best music taste and nobody expects it . (except me duh because i luv hange so so so so much 🤨) hange listens to what spotify categorizes as escape room music on their spotify wrapped. They listen to Eartheater, arca, bjork, coucou chloe, kilo kish, dorian electra, UGH I JUST CANT NOT ARGUE THIS ENOUGH!!! 👹👹hange’s dragging erwin and levi to the concerts and erwin’s grandpa ass is so enthusiastic for no reason (go white man go 🤠🤠) but like thats not all?? they also listen to artists like sevdaliza, florence, caroline polachek!!! HANGE LOVES WOMEN!!!! 😤FKA TWIGS, iamamiwhoami, kelela, kelsey lu :)))))) i feel like hange just loves :( it started out with trying to annoy levi with the weirdest sounding music ever but it turned out,,,,they really liked this kinda music (thx levi) Now he’s stuck with all their car rides consisting of hange whispering eartheater songs in his ear from the passengers seat right next to his ear. (also obsessed with any song they can gather people to dance along with #justdanceking) 🤞🤞

Erwin: 

erwin’s weird. he’s a weirdo. in case ya haven’t noticed. 😭😭 idk why his is so hard to think of??? He’s an unironic Rosalía stan and claims he luvs latina singers!! 😡😡i hate him so much. ok ok ok he’s a mariah carey, whitney houston, beyoncé, fan. He also loves like 2010s girl group music like fifth harmony, little mix, etcetera. 😫He cries to aretha franklin and nina simone. but he also knows the verses to Nicki’s songs :) i love him so much. ❤️

Sasha + Connie: 

they listen to the same music idc idc! Bad bunny, playboi carti, the weeknd. Connie went thru a bart simpson vapor wave/juice wrld phase. 😐😐😐He wouldve still been posting about XXXtentacion if Sasha didn’t smack some sense into him 😠😠(everyone say thank you sasha) Sasha also listens to lots of Britney i havta say! also loved the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, etc growing up. I luv her so much 🤭🤭

Armin: 

my sweet darling boy grew up listening to emo rock and goth rock growing up. he hid it from everyone tho! instead he listened it to full blast on his headphones for hours at night and thats why today he says “huh.” 😕after every sentence someone says :/ hes grown out of it now but he still can belt out the lyrics to black parade anyday! went crazy over King for a Day bc Kellin Quinn AND Pierce the Veil?!?!?!😳😳 Now he loves screaming along in eren’s ear! 🤪🤪

[selamat-linting]

so anyway, back to bitching again (i always bitch) yall know the women's group? the one i talked about? yeah so a little backstory first for the newcomers: this girl, she was a former member of a branch of my org. she was from another town. when she moved here, she's supposed to be helping my branch right? but no, she broke off with no warning, and started a women's group with her friends. thats the group im talking about. they focus on producing art / writing as a form of their resistance. with the occasional charity event in-between. its a very laid-back almost apolitical group. my girl plans to push her friends' left by meeting them on their own terms. doing resistance the way theyre comfortable with and hoping it would influence them to be radical.

suffice to say, it failed. my girl is kicked out of the group she founded, and when i offer her to go back here, she doesnt want to. claiming this town is too far gone for any meaningful resistance. my feelings on that loaded response is well documented on this blog but anyway. lets go to the present

this group is now doing another event, a talk show about mental health. now this would be good except the topic is this, "self diagnosis: valid or not" featuring a fucking psychiatrist.

i dont know, maybe because im a victim of (mild) medical neglect from a psychiatrist, and im firmly anti-psychiatry after seeing how lucky i got compared to my comrades with a more stigmatized disorder, but this is just wack to me. idc.

like, first of all, in what world that a discussion of whether self-dx is a special topic of discourse to be treated this way? girl look at the state of our healthcare system. look at how we lack a social safety net. look at how there's practically no help for abuse and bullying victims. we dont even have a homeless shelter in this town! look at how many mental health workers that still treats homosexuality as a disease or asks child abuse victims to forgive their parents. look at how the criminal system treats addicts!!! look at the prisons! by god look at the prisons!!! prison inmates are prime examples of men and women who is failed by the state over and over again and end up hurting and abusing everyone around them, fueling the cycle anew.

youre putting the cart between the horse, by discoursing about self diagnosis when you havent even talked about how bad society is falling apart and how inefficient and inaccessible the healthcare system is. and im not just talking about the money, i know treatment's free, but is it really treatment when you have to wait four hours every two weeks just to meet an out of touch doctor for five minutes who'd just tell you to forgive your abuser then dose you up with potentially addictive medications without telling you the side-effects or even listening to your concerns?

also wow, inviting a shrink for a self dx discussion. i would bet money their stance is that theyre against it because heyyy therapy is free and covered by national insurance uwu and its your personal responsibility xoxo. very neoliberal. i always suspect their politics is as progressive as a gay conservative since they decided not to make a post acknowledging pride month when they personally call themselves a feminist collective. how come a group of college-educated women could be this unserious? unprincipled? eugh. i expected better of them than the empty headed dumbfuck boys who made a metalcore concert for a day where at least a million people died by the hands of the state but turns out theyre just a different flavor of annoying and ignorant.

but i guess i have to act professional and nice around them since they did agree to help for the pro palestine campaign. i hate this fr fr!!!!!

[b-plus]

ok this is it but dont look okay? dont look at this post. and im going to be explaining him in depth alright?

ok so this is my dog (goat) its name is zyzzy he is a goat and an idol and an angel (insane. id say dont ask me to explain but i will anyways)

this is his bio on artfight

Zyzzy is a goat that should've gone to hell. Unfortunately, it didn't. To capitalize on the newfound divinity given to it in a freak goat accident, he decided to become an idol and ruin the lives of every single person that comes to his concerts. It takes pleasure in being ripped apart piece by piece, hiding its perverse acts from right under the eyes of God while it can still get away with it. Part of the underground idol group "Heaven's Sync", featuring Zyzzy and his "friends": Hail and BBTD (Bitter). All three of them have separate, nearly unobtainable goals, but with the power of not-so-legal means to an end and an echo chamber of enabling, they WILL do what they have to. Their fanbase isn't large, but there's more than a lot of diehard fans. Whoops!

so that explains Most of it. but theres more (obviously)

so i dont have access to my files so i cant infodump about all of the angel stuff BUT basically

1. crystal never leaves the body, kind of stays floating around the head like an annoying bug you cant get rid of

2. halo is kind of squishy but only when touched by the owner, if by anyone else its kind of like metal, cool to the touch and makes a ringing sound if you hit it. it can separate into as many small parts as the owner wants (kind of like mitosis or clay, can be pushed back together) but its always in a ring form, the outside ring stays the same size, but can be stripped vertically too if you want a thinner halo

3. wings are poised on the waist (zyzzy is wearing fake wings in the idol outfit (lmao) so theyre on the back) but wings can generally be positioned anywhere on the body but usually arent changed since they can be hidden.

4. horns, antlers, stray bones and anything of the sort are translated into wings when an animal is turned into an angel. when visiting down to the world, these are usually hidden or turned into what they were before they were wings. the resulting horns are softer and if an angel is too new, it takes mental and physical effort to keep them in horn shape

5. angels retain little to no memory of their previous life, but some still have them because of accidents or other endlessly complicated reasons

so thats like about angels but. about zyzzy. its a freak. hes a freak a little weirdo. awful person no one likes him when they actually get to know him hes super superficial and flimsy and everything bad under the sun. sucks as a person an animal an idol an angel. you name it. but everyone loves him so its okay

oh yeah all goats go to hell btw. that why its called goat hell. get it? because hes a goat. and it didnt go to hell. and it was supposed to. but okay i cant explain it because i need to design some other things first but its really funny i swear

zyzzys teeth also stick out when it has its mouth closed (super important to me) and its hair fans out at the ends (also super important to me)

so this is its idol group and friends (bitter (bunny) on the left and hail (fox) on the right)

hail is the Killer (awesome) (hes like the poisoner) and bitter is just sweaty and weird and anxious (awesome) (constantly enabled by the other two for their own amusement) but ill talk about them some other day when i have refs made for them. theyre just kind of funny to me

oh also chibo is a part of this universe. and is a super huge fan of bitter but thats besides the point

this is all just really self indulgent i just wanted to make something stupid and funny like a year or so ago and now i have it and im obsessed. obsessed with it. so thats all

so sorry if you looked at this whole thing you can look away now

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

fuck a lot of my anxiety and feeling unsupported really does have to do with covid still being a thing like I’m trying to be so normal about living my life otherwise and whatever but it just confuses me every day how out of touch people are with concerns around public health . I want to talk about it and my friends like, don’t invalidate my concerns abt it but how do i vent about my frustration that no one seems to be actually taking precautions when my friends are the ones just casually mentioning eating indoors and this and that and going to concerts like why is the train of thought not oh fuck, this thing can potentially severely disable others as well as me, or kill people, let me make sure im doing everything i reasonably can to not do that, because i like, you know value human life over not wearing a mask??

like i dont want to make another Covid Post into the void i want to talk about this in a personal way i want to feel support from my friends and i just don't and it is fucking me up so bad, its been 4 years of this and i just dont understand how so MANY people can go on about their day like this are you not fucking terrified for your friends family and yourself

i feel like i might never live out my dreams despite doing everything i can because i know and have had to live with multiple people who will just casually say they dont even notice theyre coughing and sniffling more than usual and have caught covid from both said people and what am i supposed to do bc despite everything i do im a sitting duck anyway bc i cant rely on and trust the average person to be REMOTELY covid aware and then some think and say they are but just casually show up maskless around me after flying and going to a concert????

like i have so much passion for things and so much to share with others and it feels so not valued at all, like it just feels unseen and unnurtured and who the fuck cares you can just get a debilitating virus again and again until you have early onset dementia that I was already at risk for or can’t fucking move without immense pain or get a heart attack from your 4th or 5th infection (yeah I already have heart problems going on too) and no one will bat a fucking eye about their god damn behavior. my memory is already worse and its scaring me and any time i say that no one bats a FUCKING EYE. i cant remember if i took my vitamins or not every single day and that never happened before and i cant even remember if that started after my first or second covid infection like god damn does this just not concern anyone?? how can so many people be this fucking out of touch with the impact covid has on people's lives why is the automatic response not oh fuck let me make fucking sure im not irresponsibly spreading a deadly/disabling virus regardless of what the government says just what the actual ever living hell.

HOW do i have that conversation with anyone how do i express that confusion and disconnect with anyone. what the fuck is going on

[yandere-daydreams]

you ever think about yandere popstars? i think about them all the time. its like the crazy fan & idol dynamic except theyre the crazy fan and youre just Some Guy

tw - implied kidnapping, unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, codependence, nonconsensual touching.

to be fair, celebrities are known to live lonely lives. they spend so much time writing and recording, attending fan events and photoshoots and meet-and-greets, they only have so much time to socialize, so much time to expand their circle beyond a few other idols in their sphere and the people they pay to keep them as famous (and as busy) as they are. that's why they tend to get so attached to the people they already have; old friends, managers and agents, their cute little assistant, brought in when they started running late to their rehearsals, showing up exhausted and half-dressed to concerts. you're patient with them, but strict enough to keep them in line, to make sure they're where they need to be or have a good excuse for when they aren't. you're nice, nicer than you should be, even if you pretend to be so put-together, so professional. you're sweet.

you like to say you're only doing what you're being paid to. you might be telling the truth, they're not sure, they've never actually taken the time to read your job description, but they'd like to think it doesn't include hauling them to bed after they polish off the bottle's worth of champagne at that night's gala, or running your fingers through their hair when they can't get that messy-gritty look their stylists want, or bringing a bottle of water to their dressing room when they're done with a performance they barely managed to drag themself to. you're always there for them, ready to let them rest their head on your shoulder or talk about nothing so they can listen to the sound of your voice, even if you say you don't like it when they touch you, even if you laugh whenever they offer to let you spend the night in their penthouse, even if you refuse to refer to yourself as anything more than an employee, anything more than their acquaintance, anything more than an assistant. anything more than something they're not supposed to have.

it hurts. you have to know you're hurting them. they ask for so little, try to give you so much, but you're always so cold, so distant, so set on insisting that you don't like it when they rest their hand on your thigh, try to lure you into coming closer, into letting them tend to your needs, for once. they want to try taking care of you, to show you how much you mean to them. they want to know they won't have to give you up as soon as you get tired of them, as soon as you find something bigger, something better.

and they don't want to be alone, anymore.

[zhaleys]

ACME Wildfire Tour (Constellations pt. 1) live show report

Hey guys, I was lucky enough to see Acme again after 2 years at their Constellations showcase in LA so I wanted to do a little report about it since it feels like forever since I went to a jrock concert TT A TT. It was a great time and I got a lot of cool stuff, so keep reading under the cut if you want to know more~

I was supposed to go with a few friends to this live but most of them ended up cancelling a few weeks before so I went alone. I was a little bit worried but I have traveled to that area on my own before so I knew how to get around. I arrived in Union at 5am the day of the show ;;;;;A;;;;;. I barely got any sleep but luckily was able to nap after checking into my room for the weekend. I woke up and grabbed some food/snack/shopped in Little Tokyo (Chinchikurin is so good btw I really recommend it!)

I had never been to the venue before and looking at the pictures from Maps I was a little weirded out since it looks like some warehouse in the middle of Skid Row. Once I was close I saw the line and instantly knew where to go. I walked right into the VIP line by pure chance! but then realized I had to check in at the front so they could mark my name from VIP list. It seems it was just the right time since everyone else decided to come afterwards and the lines kept stretching around the block.

After half an hour or so they started letting VIP line go in EXTREMELY FAST?! Yeah, they barely even checked our bags which was suspicious but I guess they just didn’t want to waste time or they would be behind schedule? Since it was a lineup of artists & not just ACME, there was multiple VIP lines for the other fans and the ACME line was a little confusing to get into, but i made it in by asking some people around. I keep forgetting just how TINY they look in person. They had the black suits with the crystals and glitter all over and I immediately spotted Chisa wearing red heels (you can peep in the picture). The line was not as big since I realized later most people came for Demondice (which I had no idea who they were until that night).

The photo op went by pretty quick and when it was my turn I said thank you for coming in japanese and they responded to me in english “Hiiii“ and “Thank you” It’s cute to see that theyre practicing their English for NA fans. I wish I could’ve talked to them more, but they were already signaling me to pose and I got my pictures taken. I didn’t know I could ask for individual photos until other people went after me and they got solos with Chisa, Hal etc. I was so shook LOL, but I didn’t want to make demands if I didn’t think they would be comfortable with it (that’s also why i kept my mask on too). At the other show I saw them at I also saw people getting solos but I thought that was part of their VIP pack or that it was mentioned to them. I might try that next time xDD. I also feel a little sad since I wanted to give Chisa a drawing but wasn’t able to complete it before the concert ;; so I think I will probably send it to him on twitter later. (follow here if you’d like) This is now the second time I miss out on that LOL.

During VIP line I also talked to some people and made a few friends just geeking about them. Regretting not getting their info later TT A TT. Christina and Oscar if you’re looking at this let me know! We were wondering when we would get our VIP gift as well since we waited at merch line after getting out photos. I decided to ditch it after a while so I could get to the front of the stage before GA got let in. It was a good call since the show started not much later. The first performer was Shihori which I barely knew but I vibed to their songs. There was mic issues at the start of most sets, but the crowd was still hyping them up until everything was fine.

Next came ACME’s set and I was already super pumped and little warmed up from the last set. I could tell after a few songs that most of the crowd wasn’t their fans, but a good chunk of us were towards the front and kamite end because you could see the synchronized headbangs and furi. I’m still trying to find the set list for their show since I forget the order of most songs but the ones that were most memorable were Houkago no Shiiku, Enchanted, Zesshououka, and the final song with Shihori as special guest. I even brought my fan so I could furi to Zesshououka while most people just used their hands. I caught Chisa smiling during that one since we were doing everything in sync. It’s honestly one of the most fun songs to hear live. I took a few short videos and photos but for most of the night I barely reached for my phone since I wanted to enjoy the show. I don’t know if I was enjoying myself too much but it felt like such a short set and the fact that there was 5 other people still left to perform meant that they each got less than an hour probably.

At any rate I still stayed at the front of the stage until the end of Teddyloid’s set since he was the only other artist that I knew from the line up (and he was #5 on the lineup TT A TT) He played Fly Away and Anarchy which were the most fun for me, but still wished he had done the theme for Scanty and Kneesocks ;’(. Either way, after his set I was feeling way too dehydated so I abandoned my spot and got water from the bar then also picked up my VIP signed poster and magnet at the merch table. It suddenly felt like it got way more crowded after Demondice came out because I was being pressed against the bar and my head was ringing super loud even with ear plugs on. The whole day had caught up to me by then. I just heard the Demondice set from the back since I was too short to catch a glimpse of anything. After she was done people just LEFT the venue within two minutes. At least 1/4 of the crowd stayed after since there was a  closing DJ and/or they wanted to buy merch. I caught one of my other VIP line buddies Candace and talked a bit before finally getting some rides back. It all ended around 2am like we had imagined. I kept looking at my photos with ACME on the way back like an idiot hehe. Luckily I got more sleep that night but the headache didn’t go away until almost 2 days later.

Overall had an amazing time and I was glad that I got to be in the front row for them for a second time. Hopefully this will bring in some new fans for them in the future since I want to keep catching their NA tours whenever I can. I still think about how I missed the one in 2021 but alas. I’m a little more prepared now x). I will try to come back and update this with the set list if I can find it anywhere.

Thank you ACME!

[weare0ne]

𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘂𝗺’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝘅𝗼

𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍- 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇 ! -> @bigbrainenergytingz

suho (sureum):

you KNOW the nation’s leader takes care of his girl

she IS baby in his eyes and it will remain that way even when she's an old woman

they're close and she's lowkey his favorite (because she laughs at his jokes)

she relies on suho a lot and he does all he can to support her and care for her

it's hard being the only girl in EXO of all groups because they're literally royalty

so suho HYPES HER UP

was super clingy when he enlisted (she visits them all when they do) but god it’s CONSTANT texts shes crazy

lots of love with them

sureum things !

-> suho making sure she gets water first at concerts/shows/schedules

-> areum rubbing his back reassuringly when they clown him (even tho she does it too)

-> each other’s biggest cheerleaders

-> walking/biking together

xiumin (xiureum):

they have a really chill friendship and cute ass moments

she's his fan and they have lots of inside jokes

she was nervous around all of the members when she joined the group, but she found xiumin very approachable

she's Tiny and xiumin thinks it's so cute and looks at her with big, big love

Must Protect Them because they're so sweet and wholesome

areum didn't like coffee until xiumin made some for her .. to this day, she only drinks it if he makes it

SHE KNOCKED HIM OVER WHEN HE CAME BACK AFTER HIS ENLISTMENT SHE MISSED HER BAOZI

cuties !! best boy and best girl !!

xiureum things !

-> cleaning together, because theyre the best at it

-> café dates

-> picking each other for everything just to spite the others

-> maknae and fake maknae

lay (layreum):

no one, and i repeat NO ONE, should ever say that lay is no longer apart of exo

areum gets scary sometimes. she has and will still yell if someone dares to say that

she is the biggest fan of his solo work !! number one lay zhang stan

she thinks he is SO MF FUNNY. BUT whenever he says something dirty she hits his arm

he thinks she's adorable and always pats her head and tells her that she looks nice

before lay went to china they always had fun and went out together

always says hi to lay whenever exo is on a show or something and always mentions him in speeches

she's gone to china multiple times to visit him- he's one of her best friends, and she misses him so very much

layreum things !

-> random sightings of them walking around in the city

-> hugs and hugs and hugs

-> areum thinking lay is the funniest person to exist

-> lay being a smiley doofus because areum is so sweet and precious with him

baekhyun (baekeum):

they tease each other constantly and are always very involved with each other's lives

he got sad when she turned down the offer to be in superm, but he understands her desire to develop her solo career and be devoted to solely exo

makes it KNOWN that they all love their girl to death and that exo wouldn't be exo without her

so much pda !! they cling to each other a lot and there's lots of cheek kisses

they clarified, though, that they're purely best friends and baek told everyone sternly that it's not kind to be jealous or rude to areum just because they love him

vocal LEGENDS and he always hypes her singing

SHE hypes his solo career- name a bigger baekhyun stan. i'll wait.

besties, legends, the best

baekeum things !

-> being clingy and holding on to each other a lot

-> laughing fits and being a comedic duo

-> baekhyun being her actual embarrassing big brother

-> always going out of their way to promote each other

chen (reumchen):

the godmother of his baby

chen is the nation's dad, and he dads areum all the time

she got SO pissed when people were blacklisting him for his marriage and the baby

jongdae’s like. a dad figure for her but also her big brother

she’s VERY defensive of him and vice versa- he HATES areum hate

really really close with his wife too!! they’re besties nd hang out

they play around a lot and have background moments that fans notice and it’s SO funny

she makes sure to visit his wife and daughter a lot since he’s enlisted :(( tears were shed nd she misses him

reumchen things !

-> chen ruffling her hair

-> randomly harmonizing or singing

-> yelling when they talk it’s a problem

-> chen being a protective father

chanyeol (reumyeol):

chanyeol has been in love with her since he met her like. for nine years now. he’s been in love with her

chanyeol is a PUPPY he is SOFT he is A BABY when it comes to areum and E V E R Y O N E can tell that she’s the love of his life

SHE. DOESNT NOTICE. AT ALL. even lee sooman HIMSELF is like “get it together smh areum just love him already”

meanwhile shes like !! wow chanyeol is the sweetest he’s such a great friend !!

but he loves her so much he’d take friendship over just not having her in his life

yeah he’s pure asf when it comes to her .. for the most part hehe

they’ve gone on so many dates and hang out SO much it’s maddening

she’s the one who started calling him loey

and yes she cries/gets sad SO MF MUCH EVERY DAY because her best friend is enlisted and she can’t imagine spending that much time without him

reumyeol things !

-> cuddles and affection (a LOT more off camera)

-> areum refusing to leave him in the studio at night and falling asleep while he’s working

-> chanyeol being WHIPPED and going everywhere with her/helping her whenever he can

-> so many collabs/covers

d.o. (kyungreum):

the most popular ship (aside from reumyeol)

wbk kyungsoo is a gentleman and he showcases it when it comes to areum

protects her in public situations

he always makes her laugh and the way he laughs at her is !! so mf SWEET !!

they also were in be positive/positive physique together and had those kiss scenes 😳

chanyeol is convinced he’s secretly in love with her and vice versa

BUT the truth is that they’re just friends. the kiss scene made them laugh nd weirded them out but it looked good because it was ACTING

these nerds are just besties they have long talks and it’s 🥺 she cried so much when he enlisted and visited him and texted him lots

kyungreum things !

-> escorts her at events, gives her his coat to cover her, making sure she isn’t harassed in public

-> very comfortable with each other, especially after their kiss scenes

-> kyungsoo teaches her to cook

-> areum gives him advice about ✨girls✨ or helps him out when he needs it

kai (kaireum):

jongin and areum .. think of the SEXY ! on stage anyway

IRL THEYRE SUCH LIL PISSBABY NERDS. they’re just. teddy bears. softies

when they dance together it’s BEAUTIFUL it’s AMAZING it’s SHOW STOPPING their charisma on stage!! unparalleled!!

she’s said that kai’s voice is her most favorite in the group and that it has a pretty color to it

adorable playful sleepy buds

he wishes she had chosen to join superm with them :( but like baek, he gets it

she’d rather him wear crop tops than her (she hypes him in them when he gets shy)

she went undercover as one of the backup dancers in mmmh because he wanted her to and it was ICONIC especially because fans were just freaking out trying to put the pieces together

kaireum things !

-> linking pinkies

-> helping him to keep his relationships PRIVATE + areum shipping jenkai (which is still currently happening idc)

-> jongin being her stylist

-> LOUD HAPPY LAUGHS

sehun (sereum):

sehun never fails to make her laugh

but quite frankly even tho she is the youngest HE is still the maknae because he Just Is and everyone can agree

he will pout if she’s getting treated like the maknae he’s lowkey salty because he was SUPPOSED to be the maknae however he still loves her and they’re iconic siblings

they exchange lots of looks and gossip like crazy

areum LOVES dogs she loves the group’s pets but pretends to not like vivi because sehun has made him spoiled

they just sit and clown everyone and don’t give a single shit about it

they know all of each other’s business and even tho sehun thinks she is THE Dumb Bitch she’s HIS dumb bitch

if areum has to act cute or sexy he bursts out laughing

sereum things !

-> they expose each other on the daily

-> exo’s resident sassy mfs

-> lots of public dates

-> sehun shipping reumyeol but also thinking they’re dumb and he is very tired of it

[bopbopstyles]

Best friend y/n taking pictures of H in a field of sunflowers 🧐😇

i made this a theyre in love with each other but no one wants to talk about it/quarantine situation and it kind of spiraled quickly

Harry had signed on to do the cover of GQ long before quarantine started, the cover supposed to coincide with the beginning of the tour and a bit of press. Quite honestly, he was excited to be doing it--the excitement from doing a big magazine cover never quite faded no matter how many he did. 

But now that quarantine had happened, he couldn’t go into the studio to do the photos, the original photographer having an immunocompromised family member, so the team had asked if he had someone he was quarantining with who could do them. They’d send out some gear, give some directions, but he’d have more creative control. 

Which brought him to you. The two of you were best friends, and so the minute he crossed back onto British soil you had decided to quarantine together. You were tired of being in your cramped London flat all alone and Harry hated being in his big house in Hampstead all alone. So naturally, you ended up at his in the guest bedroom. (Most nights. Sometimes you had sleepovers, all tame of course.)

You had been a photography student in college, and since then you worked at a couple of local London papers and magazines freelance, sometimes covering concerts, other times doing portraits, building a portfolio for when you could get a full-time gig somewhere. You weren’t 100% sure what you wanted to focus on yet, so the breadth of experience was to your liking. 

Harry had always been your favorite model, ever since you met him when you had ended up covering his London show. You’d become friends, despite your expectations, and he ended up liking you enough to continually reach out, and other the few years you two had become best friends. 

So when he had to get someone to take photos, you were the natural choice. He was comfortable with you and you were insanely talented, something he told you all the time. 

The only problem was, he was also head over heels in love with you and every time you took photos of him his crush got deeper and more intense. After spending weeks with you constantly, he didn’t know if he could take the intensity of a photo shoot with you.

But he didn’t really have a choice. 

When Harry asked you, you beamed at him, excited to not only be able to add Harry Styles, GQ to your portfolio, but also to have the opportunity to shoot again. You had missed it during quarantine. 

Which was how you ended up in a field of sunflowers a little ways out of town, your camera slung around your neck, the one GQ had sent as back up looped across your back. It was dusk, your favorite time to shoot, and you had abandoned all hope of using and additional props to capture the light. It was impossible with just you, and frankly Harry was so gorgeous he didn’t need it. 

You’d helped him get dressed, and he was in a simple soft pink button up, unbuttoned low, his chest exposed, and a pair of linen trousers that were tight around his strong thighs stretching down the length of his legs. His necklaces, the cross and his signature pearls, adorned his neck, filling the space the shirt exposed, and his tattoos littered his arms, the sleeves pushed up to expose his forearms. His hair was tousled and soft, a bit of product you had worked into it before you left the house helping hold the curls. Rings littered his fingers, glinting in the setting sun. 

You were trying to work, directing him on how to pose and trying to find the right lighting, but he was staring at you. His gaze trained on your face, eyebrows scrunched as you messed with some settings on your camera. It was moments like these when he nearly burst out his feelings for you, the shreds of self-awareness falling away. 

“H, shift your right leg slightly more towards me.” He blinked, refocusing, and followed your direction. He was leaning back on his hands, one leg bent, the other straight, you straight in front of him. “Now don’t more, squirmy.”

He wouldn’t dare. Music was playing from your phone, which was tucked into your back pocket, and he tried to focus on the lyrics. But instead he ended up watching you again. Watching as you shifted, getting different angles, shutter clicking. Usually he felt nervous in front of a camera lens like this, but with you, he was at ease. He could just watch you and his anxiety settled. 

“Laugh for me?”

“Didn’t say anything funny.”

You rolled your eyes at him, and he just smirked. “Just pretend?”

He did his best fake laugh, and you gave him a terse glare. “H.”

“‘m tryin’! Hard to laugh when there’s nothing to laugh at.”

You huffed. “Try laughing at me then. How sweaty I am out in this field, laboring away to make you look good, while I look like a mess.”

“You don’t look like a mess,” he mumbled. 

“Liar.”

“You look beautiful,” he said, the words falling from his lips with ease. “Always do.”

It was moments like these when being in love with Harry was really fucking frustrating, because he’d say things like that and how could you not fall for him immediately? “Shut up,” you told him, trying to disguise the blush rising to your cheeks. “Now laugh for me, you idiot.”

Harry followed your directions, dropping the act. You shifted closer, coming to your knees so you were at even height with him. “Pretty close, love.”

“I’m trying to get some close-ups. Now shut it and let me do my job.”

You could tell he was getting bored and antsy--he always did. Only took him like fifteen minutes of sitting in one place before he would be itching to move, moaning about his bum going to asleep. His head fell to the side, and you sighed. It was hopeless when he was like this. 

“H, please, just a few more and then we’ll take a break.”

He nodded, picking his head back up to resume his former position. You moved a few inches closer, knees landing on either side of his, your body hovering over him. The camera was tilted down, getting an angle from able and he adjusted, eyes following the lens. 

He could smell your perfume mixed in with his laundry detergent, the hint of the cantaloupe you had both snacked on before you left on your breath. Sweet. He absentmindedly wondered, and not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss you, to run his tongue across your lip. What your gasps would sound like. 

Wrong idea. Fuck. Harry could feel his dick plumping at the thought of kissing you, the prospect making his blood race. He tried to think of anything else, tried to get it to go away, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want his fucking dick up in the photos, for Pete’s sake. 

“Y/N,” he mumbled, sitting up. You leaned back, your bum falling to his shins, which didn’t help one bit. “Can we stop for a sec?”

“Why? Just need a few more, H, please. Don’t want to miss this lighting.”

“I--fuck,” he fumbled with his words. 

“What is it?” Your voice was soft and gentle with an edge of frustration, a hand reaching up to brush a stray hair from his forehead. The sensation made his eye flutter shut, trying to keep his emotions in check. 

“i’vegotahardonandIdon’twantitinthephotos,” he rushed out, his words falling between you two, landing with impact. 

You blinked at him. “Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Um...what happened?”

Good lord, you were going to make him die of embarrassment. You two usually danced around conversations like these, both uncomfortable talking about the topic for the same reason but not knowing. The idea of talking about sex with the person you were in love with wasn’t exactly at the top of your list. Did he tell you?

You were watching him, a. blush on your cheeks. You looked so fucking gorgeous, sitting there with the sunset behind you, your hair blowing softly in the wind, your camera in one hand. 

“....you.” He didn’t mean to say it. But then he did. 

And he couldn’t take it back. 

Your mouth opened, then closed. “Oh,” you said for the second time, the word hushed. 

“YN, I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, fuck I’m so sorry--”

“H, it’s fine.”

This time, he was the one blinking at you, eyes wide. “What?”

Your head bent, eyes falling to his dick. He could tell thoughts were swirling in your head, your hand reaching up to brush a hair behind your ear, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip like you did when you were thinking hard. “I--I could help you.”

“What?” He sputtered, brain unable to process the concept. 

But you just shrugged, as if it was no big deal. In reality, your blood was racing at the prospect of having him in your mouth, at tasting him finally. And for him, he couldn’t quite keep his thoughts in a coherent string. “If you want,” you said.

“You sure?” You nodded, and Harry cursed under his breath. “Then, um, yeah.” 

You placed both the cameras on the ground next to him, clasping the lens caps over the lenses, before looking back up to him. Then, your hands were coming up to his waist and Harry thought he was going to melt into the ground at the feeling of your fingertips on his lower stomach as you brushed over the button of his pants. You were narrowly avoiding his dick and he couldn’t bear it. 

Your hands tucked into the fabric once the button was popped, and pulled, the zipper moving down smoothly. You pulled off his pants and underwear at the same time and Harry groaned hotly at the fresh air on his sensitive skin. 

As he panted, you studied him. Red, weepy tip, desperate and hard. You had caused this? You chewed on your cheek, the thought crossing into your brain that maybe you had the same effect on him as he had on you. 

You decided to give him all you had. You shifted on his body, moving so your knees were pressed to the ground in between his legs. Then, you leaned in and as ladylike as possible, let spit fall from your lips and onto his dick. 

Harry moaned wantonly above you, one of his hands moving to your hair and pulling it together, making a tie of sorts to keep it out of your face. Then, your hand moved from his hip to his dick, your fingers wrapping around his wide girth, and tugging softly, the slick of your spit making it smooth. 

You watched in rapture as Harry’s head fell back, his hips bucking slightly at your touch. He was more sensitive than you had thought. You pumped a few more times, taking immense joy in the pants and whimpers falling from his lips as you worked him. When you decided you had teased him enough, you shifted your head back down, and wrapped your lips around his tip. 

The groan that ripped from Harry’s throat had you moaning onto his skin, the vibrations just making more sounds echo between you. Harry’s voice was low and heavy and you loved the sound as you bobbed your head once, your spit and his pre-cum mixing in your mouth as you moved your lips down the length of him. 

It was sin, he thought as he watched you. Having you on him like this, letting himself feel you like this. It was pure, unabashed sin. He was going straight to hell for the thoughts of you that were floating through his head. Of you on your back, of you moaning his name, of your hands on his skin as he pushed in and out of you. 

He was definitely going to hell. 

Then you pulled off of him and licked a hot stripe up the underside of him and rolled his balls in his hand, the combination making him buck his hips again, unable to control himself. But you didn’t seem to mind. You just smiled softly--he could see your face slightly from the angle--and then took him all the way into your mouth. 

When he hit the back of your throat, he thought he might die there and then. Or perhaps he was already dead and this was heaven. Or hell. He didn’t really care, as long as you were there with him. 

You loved the feeling of him inside your mouth, the taste of him salty and perfect on your tongue. You loved the sounds you caused him to make, the ripple of his abs, the soft hold he had on your hair. You loved when he pushed into you and then apologized under his breath. You loved him. 

You added your hand back to his shaft and in quick motions, moved your hand and head together, meeting in the middle and working his length in perfect rhythm. When Harry moaned your name you knew he was close, his grip in your hair tightening and his fingernails scratching at your scalp. 

“’m close,” he mumbled above you. 

You kept going, not wanting to let up for a second, and Harry thought he was going to lose it. Were you going to let him come in your mouth? The thought had him nearly letting go immediately, but he wanted to check. 

“You can pull off,” he said, voice rough.

But you didn’t move. You just stayed stayed, taking him as deep as you could and tonguing at his tip with soft licks that had his eyes squeezing shut, teeth digging into his bottom lip.

And then he was coming, in long ropes in your mouth, coating your tongue. Your only movement was your hand moving from his base to his thigh, gripping the exposed skin to encourage him. 

“Fuck, Y/N, holy shit,” he breathed out, mind whirling at the feeling of you warm and wet around him. 

When you pulled off, there was a small smile on your face, and a hint of his cum at the corner of your lips. He let your hair go and swiped at it, taking it and pressing it back to your lips, watching in awe as they parted and accepted his finger. 

“You,” he murmured, “are incredible.”

You giggled and Harry couldn’t stop the next three words from falling from his mouth, no matter the fact this wasn’t the time. 

“I love you.”

Your eyes widened again, his finger still inside your mouth. Your jaw dropped, releasing it, and he watched your expression absorb his words. “You--what?”

“I love you.” He was more emphatic this time, showing you he was serious.

The words settled in your mind, rolling backwards and forwards in your thoughts. Could it be true? Could he actually feel the same way about you? Maybe so, you realized. Maybe he was telling you the truth. You searched his face for any sign that he was lying, but couldn’t find one. He looked like Harry, the one you knew well, the one you trusted with your whole heart. 

So you said the words back. “I love you too.”

The grin that ripped across his face rivalled any other in existence. “Yeah?”

A giggle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Yeah.”

Then his lips were on yours, and you leaned into him, hands moving to the back of his neck. He was delicious--tasted like minty toothpaste and the grass he had been lying in, the edge of a watermelon popsicle he’d eaten on the drive over. 

You shifted closer, but something stopped you. You glanced down and chuckled--his dick was pushed between you. 

Then he looked and he groaned. “Fuck--lemme--love can you move so I can pull up my pants?”

“Don’t want it in the way?”

He huffed, tugging at his pants once you shifted. “God, it really does have the worst fucking timing.”

Then he pulled you back in, re-claiming your lips. He never wanted to let you go. 

~~~

WELL THIS BECAME LONG SUDDENLY! ENJOY!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

[maariarogers]

random plot bunnies from my seojun x sujin brainrot on a fic that i might?? or may not write. based primarily from k-drama, following the webtoon plotline:

so, this is set in the future, maybe about five years in?? so theyre all 25 years old at this point and seojun’s a well-established idol (singer)

seojun’s nutritionist provided by the agency is going to resign because she's six-months in into her pregnancy and wanted to focus on raising her children

seojun feels a little disheartened at this point; a lot of the time, being an idol, the few constant things he could rely on was the same faces of the team that took care of him - because in other aspects of his career, he has to meet new people a lot, and his scene and environment changes so much

so this was lowkey a blow for seojun, who just wants every sense of familiarity, regardless how little, to sorta stay?? the same??

but he can’t really have much say on it too, because a lot of the team members who took care of him which he has are provided by the agency, and he knows the agency will be doing placements for that too

but then his nutritionist sorta knows he’s a lil sad (she’s become like a surrogate older sister for him) and she’s like, “i have someone in my mind. she’s... a little rough around the edges. she’s been through a lot. but - she has a good heart. like you.” the nutritionist smiles, “i think the both of you could get along well!”

so the new nutrionist? that’s our badass girl, kang sujin.

now sujin has already known that her senior wanted her to replace the position for han seojun’s nutrionist because her senior trusted her to do a good job, but sujin’s a bit queasy about the entire arrangement if she’s honest

she wants to say no, but her senior has always been supportive and strict in ways that’s got her shaped up to her best ability, and she just didn’t have the heart to say “no” in the end

so on the day they met, seojun recognised sujin immediately, and sujin, at first, pretended that she’s only met seojun for the first time

seojun consecutively tries to trigger some sort of reaction in sujin, but she deflects pretty well? every time he tries to confront her, she’s like “hi mr. han seojun” and “what can i do for you today?”

even during their private sessions while sujin goes over seojun’s daily food and nutrition intakes and adjusting new set of schedules for him, sujin’s all serious. she’s gotten close to snapping at him - but then she quickly just, “noooo :) im not mad :) what do u mean”

after a while, seojun sorta lets it go and focuses back on training

his team is planning a tour, maybe even concerts outside korea, and seojun’s lowkey scared because even though he’s toured and flown to various countries to perform at this point, he still has the anxiety

he wants to be so good to his fans, wants to do his best now that he’s come so far to the point he essentially sacrifices a chance at a relatively ordinary life

but then, he starts overworking too

seojun’s never been the best dancer, you know; he could always make up for it with singing, but he still?? doesnt feel like it’s enough???

and then one day sujin just comes barging in at his apartment, mad, because seojun’s had a fever and couldn’t train for two days now and turns out?? he hasn’t really been eating as much as he should, or he’s not drinking as much as he should

that was the first time sujin showed any sense of familiarity from their high school days

she gave him a good whip, talks to his doctors, and adjusts his diet according to his schedules and for the next week, she sorta comes quite frequently to make sure even when he’s training, he’s doing okay

seojun comments that she’s “scarier” than his last nutrionist, and sujin’s like, “good. it means you’ll listen to me.”

one day, he starts asking her to stay just a while instead of just leaving, which she always does, and he’s like “have a beer. what, you have a strict diet too?” and sujin reluctantly stays? even tho she’s awkward and quiet

finally seojun’s like, “why did u pretend u didn’t recognise me?”

and sujin’s just.... “didn’t you hate me?” referring to what she did to jugyeong (implying the k-drama events i assume?? but imma keep this vague as hell) and she just, “i did something horrible to the girl you love.”

and because this is seojun, esp their dynamics dkjhksdhf, he’s just straight up, “yeah. you were a bitch.” because to him, that was the facts, you know

sujin sorta stays quiet, but then she puts the beer down and like?? “i don’t have to explain anything to you.” but seojun’s like!!!!! thats not what he meant!!! and hes just, “hey no! sit. you just started relaxing, right?”

but after a minute he comments under his breath, “i didn’t know you were this sensitive.”

but then sujin quietly replied, “she was my friend. i loved her too.”

and that sorta got the two of them quiet, but then seojun decided to change the topic because its Its_Too_Awkward.jpeg, “last i heard u were gonna be a doctor. your dad’s professor Kang right? he treated my mom.”

and that sorta??? causes sujin to tense up, but then she deflects with a snappish, “why are you so interested in me?” “i’m not! i’m just asking questions.” “i should be asking you questions - why the hell did you think it was a good idea to pull the shit u did now that your touring schedule is in the talks? how are you supposed to perform if you can’t even stand?” “aish, didn’t you already nag me?” “you’re so stupid, i’m scared you’ve forgetten”

they started bickering again but that night was really what triggered for sujin to be a little more relaxed with seojun, and for seojun to sorta - try a bit harder to?? not be friendlier, no, but he likes that he’s known her from an era in his life where he didn’t have to always be a face in the screen.

more and more, seojun asks sujin to stay and have dinner after she’s done evaluating his weekly meals and they have a better comradeship

he starts anticipating her more when she comes to evaluate another idol or something at the agency and he’s just!!!!!!! “you’re here? why are you here? did u miss me already? what do u mean i’m not the only one you’re treating”

and then slowly we also found out why she didn’t become a doctor (she didn’t wanna follow her dad; and she still carries the guilt of what she did to jugyeong and admitted, more than the result of her father’s anger, she likes the version of her who always wants to help others - and, she can memorises easily, so... nutritionist didn’t seem bad)

sujin starts bringing in board games or sometimes she sneaks a few of supermarket-brand goods since seojun’s been behaving with his meals and vitamin intakes, and the one time seojun’s invited to a tv show where it has quizes, she tutors him the whole night so he “doesnt make a fool out of himself”

she also starts to keep up with whatever show he’s in, and she’s always texting him that she’s watched him with this horrible washed-out screenshot because she takes the photo on her laptop with her phone. and her texts are all “the dance was good” and “you’ve improved that move huh” and then sometimes “idiot. why did u answer like that”

sujin makes fun of her for not being able to take a clean screenshot, but he never really leaves her un-replied

and they started talking about relationships - how they were both so enamoured with suho and jugyeong respectively, and for sujin specially, how she can’t wait to be loved by someone who can make her feel like suho’s not a big deal at all

but then she admits she doesn’t think she deserves to be loved, and sorta has this sad smile, and seojun confesses that he’s scared if he loves someone, he has to lose them due to his career

and they’re really sad about it, but the night also isn’t as bad cause they had each other

and ok i have a LOT more i think - and i honestly dk how nutritionist actually works BUT. yes. them.

[trylobite]

i am fookin fewmin

ok so im going to break the post off but i want to set the scene so u guys can decide if u wanna read all of it 

so this band i like, greta van fleet, announced tour dates the other day. one of the stops is literally my city, so obviously im going. but,,, as i go to speak to some old friends drama ensues........ oooohhhhh *ghost noises*

i have been to a greta concert before in november 2021. it was atlive in atlanta and they performed with cage the elephant and metallica. at the time i was on greta van fleet (GVF) twitter and had a lot of friends i was meeting up with at their concert. we were in group chats on twitter, and talked daily. this was at the peak of greta van fleet getting attention on tiktok and as someone who had been a fan of them for a while but never pursued like... their stan accounts,,, i was in for a big surprise okay like it was a lot!!!

a year or so prior i had left kpop twitter simply because i felt that the drama was too much for me, and i felt as if i was too old to be getting into these fucking high school level arguments. 

but for the first few months of gvf twitter and tiktok i had a blast getting to know everyone and make friends, and i met this girl on tiktok's named maggie  (fake names for privacy lol) when i posted about getting tickets to atlanta show. 

and so maggie put me into an iMessage group chat with her friends sadie and kendall (again, all names r fake) and we were going over where we were staying and all of that shit. so eventually we came to the conclusion that i would be riding to atlanta with kendall and maggie and staying in their airbnb. i was at one point supposed to stay with sadie, but plans just changed, so keep that in mind for later. 

so the time of the concert rolls around and by this point i was 3-4 months into a friendship with these girls, as well as the twitter group chats of 10 or so additional people we were meeting at the show. i had formed relationships with these people and had a pretty good idea of their characters. most of them were, admittedly, kinda snooty kendra scott girls. (i hope someone understands this) and i am just not.... that kind of person. like greta van fleet is a very rock n roll band, very led zeppelin sounding so its been said, so i never expected for their fans to be simply southern girls ok?? sue me. 

but i never said anything about it and i was always civil, even when they were borderline stalking this poor band. they just seemed so fake nice to the point of being kinda mean? if that makes sense (all except kendall , we to this day love kendall she's an angel.)

ok ok ok so i meet up with maggie and kendall and i drive to atlanta no biggie. i am kind of uncomfortable bc im on my period, with ppl ive never met irl, in an unfamiliar city, and this was my first time going out of state without my family so i was just on edge the whole time. 

the night before the concert we go out to eat with this person from the gc and their family which was so uncomfy, and eventually more people from the gc come rolling into the restaurant and i am so anxious and its so loud so me and kendall walk to the gift shop and wait for maggie to be done so we can leave. it takes over an hour for us to leave btw

so eventually we go back to the airbnb and sleep. blah blah then we go line up at fuvking 3 am... and sit there in the freezing cold on my period until 12 am the next night... no just no... i

anyways i meet the nicest bbys in line : kelly, terry, nicole, and ray (fake names r hard pls) who i basically hung out with the whole time since i had vip passes and maggie and kendall didnt. however, sadie did have vip. remember sadie? yeah she sat w me in line ,,,, allllll day. 

so the concert happens blah blah it was terrible btw the metallic fans were like punching teenage girls in the face it was... a nightmare....

afterwards i watch cage the elephant perform bc theyre my favorite band on the planet (which everyone in the gcs clowned me for bc somehow no one knew who cte were ??)

and then,,, we had all decided to leave before metallica the day before, and since i was on my period and the venue didnt allow me to bring in my tampons i wanted to fucking go home like we PLANNED. but no. they wouldn't leave. so i left alone in an uber and no one ever called to see if i made it back alright which i thought was crazy, bc id never let a woman wander out into the night in a new city. but they did. and they got to see gvf walk out and met the leader singer of cage, which no one facetimed me for even though they were aware of how much i loved him. they also talked so much shit art how weird cage’s performance was but then all but sucked his dick when he came out to meet them ok lol but i have photos of me crying alone in the airbnb after i found that out lol 

anyways the rest of the trip is pointless to explain so im gonna fast forward back to the current issue. 

about a week or so after the concert in november, gvf twitter erupted in fucking flames with drama, and i simply could not handle it. i was on the verge of a mental breakdown, which i did eventually end up going thru, and i just could handle the extra anxieties being out on me by fucking middle school drama 

so i delete twitter, i deactivate my account. i just leave. 

and so now, march of 2022, greta has released new tour dates, and theyre stopping in my hometown so i AM going. the only girls i talk to regularly are kelly terry nicole and ray. theyre the only ones i still follow on instagram besides kendall. there was no other reason i unfollowed the others besides cleaning up my following list bc we didnt interact at all. 

so me, kelly, terry, and ray all have tickets to the upcoming show in my city and tay told me that SADIE also had a ticket so i was like omg!!! sadie i haven't talked to her in forever lets make a gc, so i did. 

and this is the outcome of that

and so being confused and worried that sadie left for no reason i messaged and her and this is what happened

so…. as u can see she FUCKING LIED TO ME and then blocked me after my final message.

i was admittedly kind of a bitch in my last messge but heres my reasoning.

you can say i was a bad friend, you can say i cut everyone off on social media… but the thing is ALL OF U HAVE MY NUMBER !!! NONE OF U ARE BLOCKED ON IG U COULD HAVE MESSAGED ME IF U FELT ANY KIND OF WAY

and ALSO U FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!! WHEN U DEACTIVATE TWITTER IT REMOVES U FROM ALL UR GCS!!! AND NONE OF U NEVER MESSAGED ME ABOUT IT!!! EVER !!!’

why is it, in her head, up to ME alone to support a friendship. all i did was delete twitter and explained it was for my own mental health and i got blocked… i just dont get it. i genuinely apologized that i made her feel that ways because im well aware i go mia for months at a time and most of my friends understand im just that way.. it’s healthiest for me to be that way…

idk if i even explained this completely or like… well??? i just need u guys to read it and tell me in not crazy and should t have just assumed anyone would be pissed at me when THEY havent reached out either like holy fuck

[jaerie]

I'm curious to know why you think concerts are not going to happen in 2022. I think it too (especially with all these variants and 3/4 of the world not getting vaccines) and also, a singer i know cancelled his 2021 tour and decided to do it another one in 2023. 2022 was never an option for him, but didn't explain why. I'm honest, i bought a Louis ticket today for 2022, knowing that i will be terrified of attending and with lots of doubts about really happening. Hoping for the best of course!!

I suppose a huge part of it is just me being salty and my plummeting depression giving me subzero hope. haha.  I laugh because there’s nothing else I can do.  

They probably will happen at some point.  But as we get closer, the more I feel like theyre going to be postponed/cancelled again.  With artists announcing new shows that haven’t been on sale yet, they can cap the numbers of tickets being sold and put together “safety” measures.  For example, a venue here is only selling tickets in spaced out pods throughout the theater for new shows.  These shows are already sold out at capacity or close to so I don’t really know what areas of the country or world are ready for that.  I want to have hope that they’ll be able to go ahead... but look at Canada.  They’re still in a FULL lockdown.  It’s hard to rationally think there are going to be full arena shows in a few months when they can’t even buy underwear at the store right now.    (I have tickets for several Harry shows in Canada.  As of right now, my best friend can’t even cross the border to come to the shows we have tickets for in the US)

I just have a feeling that especially bigger venues are going to err on the side of caution to protect themselves from liability and potential bad press for events coming up in the near-ish future.  

Also, not to start this convo, but we still don’t know how long vaccine effectiveness lasts.  There’s nothing we can do but gaze into the crystal ball and make hopeful predictions.  

THIS SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A DOWNER RESPONSE!!!  I’M SORRY!!!  I really want to come on and be like DON’T WORRY, WE WILL SEE OUR KINGS SOON!!! But I did that this spring and set myself up for epic let downs all year.  Soooooo I’m trying to think more “realistically” which I have to admit probably sounds extremely pessimistic.  

I’m not an expert on anything here.  These are just some of my thoughts on the topic.  Let’s all hope everything will work out!!