#this is super long sorry

[livingandthriving]

A year ago today I went to see my doctor, hoping to get some answers (and treatment) for my increasingly severe respiratory issues. She ruled out asthma and sent me to the ER to get some tests done. Little did I know I'd end up hospitalized for 3.5 weeks.

(This is going to be long, sorry.)

They tested me for Covid and allergies, and when those came back negative they did a CT scan, and that was when they saw I probably had some type of lymphoma. They did not tell me this right away, just that there was a lot of fluid build-up around my lungs, among other things. Getting that drained was Not Fun (I almost passed out). I was admitted to the hospital proper after that, and spent 10 days in the Pneumology ward hooked up to O2 and getting the pleural effusion drained every few days while waiting on an official diagnosis. They did tell me on day 2 that they'd found what might be tumor and needed to do a biopsy to confirm, so when the diagnosis turned out to be Hodgkins lymphoma I was not completely surprised, but it still felt unreal. (Mind you, when the hospital psychologist came in with the doctor to break the news, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be good.)

The doctor was quick to reassure me that my prognosis was good, but there was clearly no time to lose since I was promptly transferred to Lyon to start chemo. I got my first helicopter ride out of the deal: they were concerned about potential traffic jams on the highway and didn't want to risk it while I was still on oxygen. My best friend's response when I messaged her to tell her this was to suggest I hum the Mission: Impossible theme while in the air. I didn't, but the crew found her suggestion hilarious. 😂

I made it to Lyon without incident, and my parents arrived shortly after I did (traffic was fine after all) to find that I was already something of a celebrity: apparently they don't get many patients come in by helicopter. Upon learning this, Best Friend's sister requested my autograph. (There's a reason I'm good friends with this family.) 😆

The next day was a blur of procedures, culminating in getting hooked up to my first round of chemo that evening. I was a little concerned about potential nausea, but thankfully the anti-nausea meds they gave me beforehand worked beautifully. I was still exhausted afterwards, though. That would be my default state for the next few months.

A few days in, it was determined that poking a new hole in me every 3-4 days to drain the pleural effusion was highly impractical, especially since it was going to take a while to go away, so I got a drainage tube put in. It was Supremely Uncomfortable (I was on morphine for several days), but within a few hours they were finally able to take me off oxygen! Being able to breathe normally never felt so good.

I got to go home in between rounds of chemo, which was very nice, even if I wasn't back in my own room (I had twice-daily nurse visits and it was easier for me to be in the guest room downstairs).

Going back for the second round was definitely different: no helicopter, I was able to walk in, and I knew what to expect this time - well, mostly. I didn't anticipate having to stay a couple of extra days because getting a new Picc line put in proved challenging. It's always something, isn't it? 😅

Thankfully that was the last time I had to stay at the hospital for more than a few hours: the PET scan I got a few weeks later showed that I was in remission, and I was able to do the rest of my chemo as an outpatient at my local hospital. Aside from two sessions getting postponed due to illness/low white blood cell count, that all went smoothly and I had my final session in January.

Early February I got another PET scan which confirmed that I was in complete remission, at which point I could focus on recovery. This is definitely going to be the longest part; I was told it can take up to 2 years to get back to normal. The fact that I'm already back at work, albeit part-time, is pretty good, all things considered.

So, how did all this affect me emotionally? The first few days in the hospital were probably the hardest, because something was obviously very wrong, but I didn't know what. In spite of that, I had a sense of peace and that God was in control (the song The Goodness of God was stuck in my head for days). That peace persisted even with the diagnosis, which is definitely a miracle because I'm generally prone to anxiety and jumping to the worst-case scenario. Instead, my reaction was, "Welp, this is gonna suck, but I'm going to make it." It helped that I had lots of people praying for me.

Even so, there were some rough moments. Losing my hair a few weeks in was especially difficult. I knew it was going to grow back, but I think that was when everything really started to sink in. Having to cancel my travel plans for the fall was another hard pill to swallow. Not being able to go to church was probably the hardest.

How am I doing now? Well, I'm still processing everything (hence this post), and likely will be for some time. It still feels a little unreal to tell people I had cancer. It's not one of those things you ever think you'll have to deal with, at least I didn't think I would. But here we are. I will say the fact that I'm starting to really process it all now is a good sign since it means my brain is no longer in survival mode. Hopefully that will continue.

I could go on, but this is already very long (kudos to you if you made it this far) and it's late, so for now I'll just say I'm grateful to still be here. Oh, and if you start having weird symptoms, don't wait to see a doctor.

[egophiliac]

so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!

god I hope this reads properly

[vellichorsdesire]

f/o who doesn’t know they’re touchstarved until they meet you.

the heavy want grows in their chest and is absolutely undeniably there whenever you two even just briefly touch. when you’re so close that they’re so desperate have you closer, wanting to feel their body pressed against yours in a tight embrace, that the thought of your hand in theirs is barely enough. when you two finally hug, or whenever you do, they sink into your embrace almost immediately, a deep sigh of content heard as they wrap their arms around you to return the tender hug. it’s a little hard to get their arms off you afterward, with those small mumbles of “just a little longer” and “i don’t want to let go yet.”

maybe they’re super embarrassed about feeling so at first and are so glad whenever you indulge in their desire to have you, to feel your warmth. or they’re incredibly stubborn about it but their actions always say otherwise, finding every little chance to have their skin touch yours, to quietly tug on your sleeve or any other sign that you immediately know what they want with it.

eitherway they’re forever thankful that you’re so understanding. with the little touches you guys end up doing like from simply pushing a strand of hair behind an ear or running fingers through each other’s hair, they’re absolutely addicted. smitten, even, so incredibly much that they can’t put their love for this, for you into words.

[shawtuzi]

let’s talk men who love to satisfy your oral fixation!!! after telling him your embarrassing secret that you almost always have to have something in your mouth he was moreee than obliged to meet your needs—whether it was buying numerous lollipops for you to suck on or shoving his semi hard dick in your mouth while he mindlessly scrolled on his phone. but your favorite? his fingers. they were so long and slender it was impossible for you not to get addicted!!! normally lollipops would satisfy you but on days where you were stressed and overstimulated what you really needed was his fingers shoved down your throat while he told you how pretty you were :((( and that’s exactly what he’d do!! he’d have you on his lap, chest to chest while his thumb gently traced your plump, glossed up lips. “‘nother rough day sweet thing?” he’d whisper slowly inserting his thumb into your awaiting mouth. he didn’t need an answer ever—he just knew by the pout on your face and the way you’d pick at your clothes that you needed some extra lovin’ from him that he was more than willing to give. after a few moments of you sucking his thumb he’d whisper a soft, “ready for more angel?” to which you’d nod your head quickly. in a flash you’d be cradled in his arms, his index and middle finger halfway inserted into your mouth meanwhile praises would be flying from his mouth left and right. “such a pretty girl….smart too. i’m the luckiest man in the world aren’t i?” ah how you loved to be called his pretty girl. usually you’d end up falling asleep due to him playing with your hair but, on days where you were feeling even needier than usual the same fingers that were in your mouth would be knuckles deep in your pussy while his mouth was pressed against yours and you’d be sucking on his tongue ofc bc ur insatiable.

— eren, JEAN, reiner, toji, GOJO, CHOSO, rindou, izana, HANMA, DRAKENNNN, rengoku, tengen, AIZAWA, and yk what i’m gonna put hange too bc they’d definitely pamper you to the fullest extent >:(

[funsizedcrow]

Link is Hylia's specialist little boy (this is not a good thing for him)

(stills under the cut)

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

sun doodle from that one scene in the new music video

[tenaint]

Rose 1.01 / Empire of Death 14.08

[emmyrosee]

I’m so late, I JUST saw your post 😭 but if you’re still in need of ideas, how abt an absolutely disgustingly sappy diagnosis of lovesickness for our dear atsumu? teasing him for being down horrendously and he doesn’t even bother to fight back bc he’s just like “well yeah” ☹️🫶🏻

I AM FROTHINF AT THE MOUTH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED HIM I COULD KISS YOU FOR THIS MWAH MWAH MWAH ☹️🩷

——

“Bro, you’re so in love with me, it’s craaaaazy.”

Your tease falls from your lips as Atsumu passes you a steaming mug, a smile on his face as he does.

He offers you a shrug, “so what if I do? If you were in my shoes, so would you.” He gently lifts your legs from where they’re curled on the couch and slips under them, resting them back on his thighs for you to continue to rest comfortably. “And don’t call me bro, we’ve been together for 3 years.”

You smile and sip your warm tea, “I’m just saying you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look goofy. Just do it, bro.”

With that, he leans over to press a kiss to your lips, “don’t.” Kiss. “Call.” Kiss. “Me.” Kiss. “Bro.”

“One more, just to be sure?” You mewl, which he immediately provides to you. This time, his lips linger longer, a hand gently resting on your knee and soothingly rubbing his thumb over. You part slightly to put your mug down, relishing in the noise of protest he pouts out. You giggle and turn back to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him close. “I love you.”

“I love you. So much.” His arms wrap lowly around your waist, tugging you impossibly closer. His lips move down to your neck, sponging wet kisses there before moving up to your cheek. You angle into his touch, fingers toying with the stubbly hairs of his undercut, and you smirk at the gasp and shiver he gives in response.

“You get so drunk on me, oh my god,” you continue to tease. He snickers against your skin. “One ‘I love you’ and you’re down for the count, aren’t you?”

“You know I am,” He mumbles, face lingering in your warm neck. “You would be too, if you were me. You’re just irresistible. Really, this is your fault.”

“No,” you assure. “I’m built different. I’m no softie like you bro.”

Immediately, his fingers spider up your sides and to your ribs, and your arms dart down in defense from his tickles. “What did I say?” He snaps, but his lips are curled into a smirk. “What did I say about calling me bro? Huh? What did I say?”

“Don’t tickle me!” You plead, trapping his strong fingers under your elbow.

“No, I don’t think that was it,” he hums. “I think it was something like… oh! Don’t call me bro! Isn’t that wild? Isn’t that crazy?” He peppers little kisses on your neck, and you toss your head back in laughter.

But you can feel the love emanating off of him. The happiness at hearing your squeals and squirms, coupled with getting drunk from kissing your warm skin truly is enough to get his heart beating, so loud you can practically hear it.

And hey. You’ll take some revenge tickles if it means you get to indulge in this side of him.

[zuko-sokka]

The Thrilling Saga of the Missing Lotus Tile, featuring Uncle Iroh and Prince Zuko

+ bonus:

[cutie-lumi]

Cosmic 💐🌟

[heliopixels]

UPDATE - RUBA AND IYAD (VETTED)

A lot of you will know that I have been trying to get more eyes on Iyad's fundraiser and encourage donations for the past few months. Now I want you to pay attention to this too:

Some of you may know Ruba from her previous fundraising attempts @rubashabansblog (now shadowbanned). Iyad and Ruba are neighbors who live close to each other in the tents. They are like family to each other. Both of them have run into major trouble both with GoFundMe and Tumblr (and in Ruba's case GoGetFunding as well) and have had to restart fundraising from 0 multiple times.

Iyad's family lost a total of 11k due to GFM deleting his fundraiser, Ruba's family lost a total of 27k due to GFM withholding funds. (overview of Ruba's troubles with fundraising here)

Ruba was recently injured badly and had to be taken to the hospital. Treatment was expensive and since they couldn't possess their funds from gfm, they weren't able to pay for it themselves. Iyad took Ruba to the hospital, helped her, and payed for her treatment. Since Ruba's family has no other way to access their raised funds, her family and Iyad's family are now sharing this same fundraiser:

Iyad's and Ruba's fundraisers have both been independently vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein and are on their Vetted Gaza Fundraisers Spreadsheet. Iyad's is no. 177/173 and Ruba's is no. 94/90. Please keep in mind that these are their previous GFMs and have not been updated to their current situation.

$2,583/$60,000

Only 4.3% of goal raised.

Both their families are exhausted and have faced uncountable losses. Donations to this fundraiser have been slowing for a while now and it is important now more than ever to share and donate since this is now supporting 2 families instead of just 1, especially with the spread of even more diseases in Gaza and the scarcity of clean water, food, and medicine.

PLEASE SHARE + DONATE

Things you can get for donating:

-art wallpapers

-art commissions

You can read my previous posts on the developments in Iyad's situation on my blog in my tag #iyadsobhe and you can keep up to date on Ruba's situation on her current blog @rubashsblog and @neptunerings who has adopted her fundraiser. I also reccomend following @iyadsobhegaza, Iyad's personal blog, though he is currently not posting there due to being shadowbanned.

[startistdoodles]

I played a new game recently ⌛️✨

[queenlucythevaliant]

Teams are vibes-based. Please tell me who you chose and how you think it will go in the tags!

[daily-odile]

AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

[groovyangelkisses]

hi my sweet baby suse :') love you sm n'just wanna know your thoughts when it comes to sitting on jax's lap <3 would he pet your hair? call you sweet little pet names? just wonderin' <3

anything for you clo, my pretty girl ! 🫶🏻

this became super long-winded, i just think he's neat :')

cw: jealousy, slight! innocence kink, potential 'opie yearning for reader' moment (who's shocked?) slightly nsfw

personally, i think jax is constantly pulling his girl into his lap. whether it's because tig is getting a little too friendly, or you've been talking (gazing) at opie for a tiny bit longer than he'd like, it's like you make a movement & you're in his lap. he's very "hey, where you goin' sweetheart, hm?" all teasing and smug and smiley, pulling you by the wrist to sit on him.

while jax loves having you in his lap to see you get all blushy and shy "c'mon darlin' they all know you love sittin' on me" (never letting the opportunity for innuendo pass him by,) he also loves the sense of pride that he gets from having a pretty, sweet thing like you perched in his lap. while jax is all leather and dirty t-shirts and baggy jeans, you're sweet pastels and soft fabrics— the warmth that jax is slowly starting to feel in his heart again.

and he'll take any form of lap sitting, by the way. if you're sitting directly on him, after you deliver some comment about jax bein the "comfiest, cleanest chair here!" he'll laugh, and wrap his big arms around your tummy, his face in your hair, whispering dirty jokes and funny comments about juice and chibs in your ear.

and if you're sitting sideways? legs spread across his lap and dangling over his thighs? his hands never leave them. one hand protectively holds your ankle, fingers lightly fiddling with the cold "J" anklet he bought just for you. his other hand slides up and down your leg, pausing to lay his palm flat on your knee, or to slide his extended hand up the sides of your thigh. and jax knows nooo personal space with you, by the way. so you two are face to face as he talks, his strong nose brushing against yours, and when he leans over to tell you a secret, his beard brushes against your cheek. eventually, his hand starts to slide up the center of your thighs, and his lips get a little too close to the sweetest spot on your neck, and he notices opie looking at the smooth skin of your face too long, and suddenly he can't help himself. nights like those usually end with you happily skipping behind jax as he leads you to his clubhouse room, trying to supress a smile at your obvious affection and excitement for him.

that being said, jax is a veerrrryy jealous person, so whenever he senses a prospect gettin' a little too close for his liking, he'll give you the look and you'll know where to go. of course, jax never tells you exactly why he'll suddenly stop your conversation with happy and ask you to come (essentially) straddle him in the clubhouse— he never wants you to know the true, horribly corrupt fantasies of the other male bikers.

so he'll take you in his lap, hooking your arms over his shoulders and pulling you together; chest to chest, him pressing against your panties in a comforting way. jax will pull the hem of your dress down and hold it still (he saw them trying to take a peek, and if he's being honest it took everything in him not to flip the pool table and start screaming) and start the sweetest little whispers in your bejeweled ear "my sweet girl, you know how pretty you are, hm? you know everybody here wants you? but they can't have you right? can they?"

and like clockwork, this same song and dance you get into everytime there's a meeting, you nod happily. and jax'll smile, a nice, wide, shit-eating grin aimed just as much at you as it is at the other samcro members looking onward; always yearning for a girl like you— loving, loyal, only having eyes for the blondie they all yearn to be.

his hand will move to your hair, softly running his fingers through it, soft applogies leaving his lips as your hair gets tangled in his rings, and he'll always kiss the corners of your lips to make up for it. he'll press your head to his chest, a big, protective hand sprawling across the back of your hair, holdin' you to him "just rest your eyes a little darlin', i gotta talk to the guys abit, kay?"

oh and he will. his hands running up and down your back and hair, in lulls of the conversation he'll kiss your cheek and ask quietly "still with me, babe?" and wait for your comfortable purr of "mmhmm" and continue on with the conversation. and he knows no one will ever say anything, they wouldn't dare. you're his little "doe in the headlights" and beyond jax's admittance, he needs to feel you in his hands just to get through the fear that he battles with everyday— the fear of disappointing the club, trampling his father's legacy, losing you. the thought makes him tighten his grip on you, hugging you like a child hugs their teddy bear, and the pressure, the sheer weight of his love is so fulfilling, you'll happily flirt with juice if it means it'll always end with jax holding you like this.

[zuiz41]

Au where people call them The Power Couple 👁️