#this is such nothing anon hate it’s almost suspicious. is someone trying to make me look better /hj

[trans-androgyne]

It is honestly starting to feel like y'all using transandrophobia are actually just girls that wanted to feel extra special. Stopped experiencing misogyny so now you need a new problem. Get a life.

This is such low-grade anon hate, I was just making fun of another anon for doing the whole worn-out “you’re just girls who want to feel special” thing in my inbox. I’ll still post this for documenting purposes as well as because it’s really funny you’re saying I don’t still experience misogyny while being misogynistic to me. Thanks for the example of transandrophobic rhetoric, but be more creative next time.

[nunalastor]

Resident Evil Asks Because Goddamn There Are A Lot

Anonymous asked:

One downside to RE7: Alastor gets his hands on a grenade launcher. That feels like a weapon he shouldn’t have. 

Anonymous asked:

There’s a bit in RE7 and 8 that protagonist Ethan absolutely refuses to show his face to cameras. His face is covered in pictures, he will turn away from the camera if you go into 3rd person, and he suffered horrible damage and collapsed on his back but STILL ROLLED OVER SO HIS FACE WOULDN’T BE SEEN IN EVIDENCE PICTURES.

Yeah we picked Ethan as the RE protagonist Alastor slots into for a reason.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7

Lucas Baker appears around the hotel and if the residents thought they knew what it looked like when Alastor was on sight, they've seen NOTHING until they saw Alastor attack him with a shotgun, resulting in the two getting into a screaming match.

It's hard to make out what is being said but between "you ruined my trap, Alastor" and "you kidnapped Guy TWICE. I know you weren't controlled like your parents" they figured out this ties back to their human lives. Charlie gives up on even attempting to go into her usual forgiveness spiel when Alastor brings out the flamethrower saying he killed Lucas once and he'll do it again because come on he did not let Lucas get away like in the game.

Now they have more questions. How do they know each other? Who is Guy and why does Alastor care about him? What control are they both talking about? What trap???

Vox meanwhile wants to know who this guy is and why Alastor hates him more than Vox himself.

Anonymous asked:

Alastor stockpiling the healing items from RE7 and using them in his battle against Adam. He takes the hit and sustains all the injuries buckshot anon described but it's a mild inconvenience because he pours the weird herb fluid on his hand and is back in action and goes at Adam again.

Adam has fun with it at first, a sinner who won’t back down, but Alastor's stockpiling means he can go at this for as long as he wants to become familiar with Adam's moves and openings, and that would get frustrating.

If he does manage to sever a limb and Alastor calmly puts it back on is when that would really start to freak Adam out. And Vox would be fuming while watching because all of this proves the "almost beat" in their own fight was not any skill Vox had, instead Alastor not giving a fuck.

Anonymous asked:

Combining Alastor having the Dahlia Hawthorne thing going on and Resident Evil 7 means Alastor went to the Baker Estate at minimum armed with the sun umbrella Dahlia always has. Alastor beat the shit out of a mold zombie with an umbrella, there’s no way he didn’t.

Anonymous asked:

For the RE7 au, when Alastor finds Lucas Bake, he puts him through the same ‘tests’ that Lucas made Alastor endure in the Baker Estate. Alastor definitely makes sure Lucas’ pain is slow and agonizing.

When hotel find out he has someone captive that he frequently tortures (that Husk or Nifty didn’t even know about) they’re like,

“Why is this guy your prisoner?” “Even for you this is too far” “What could he have possibly done for you to do this?”

Charlie would even try (and fail miserably) to persuade Alastor to let Lucas go and maybe forgive.

Alastor would only give vague answers or not even give any. He would just say, “This is between me and the miserable wretch”

Also Alastor never kept Lucas in the hotel, but a secret location that Lucifer discovered. Lucifer cause he was suspicious of Alastor because he said he was going to Cannibal Town. Charlie needed Alastor for an emergency and when she called Rosie, she said Alastor never visited. That made Lucifer suspicious so he decided to follow Alastor and found him in one of his sessions with Lucas.

Anonymous asked:

Some more RE7 ideas I want to share, especially the whole mind thing. Ethan was able to communicate with the real Jack Baker because all them were infected with the mold.

So it’s kind of like a form of communication between everyone, that even souls from heaven and hell can communicate but it’s laggy and slow (kind of like low internet connection). This means they can also communicate with Roo but only if she allows it. Despite what happened, Alastor and the Bakers (exception of Lucas) became good friends. They and Guy are on board for Alastor to be redeemed.

The subject of Lucas is a sore topic and Alastor tries to avoid it the best he can. As long as he keeps Lucas’ weak, his connection is low.

Anonymous asked:

If the hotel thinks watching just Jack's section of Alastor's time in the Baker Estate was bad, wait until they get to Marguerite, Lucas, and Eveline. Eveline's section would probably be different to the game because Mia was directly involved with her creation where Guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but still terrifying.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7 

Alastor sometimes hums the song “go tell Aunt Rhody,” the song Eveline would always hum (really recommend the RE7 version), and the hotel never thought anything of it. Husk sometimes heard Alastor singing the lyrics and thought he was talking about himself based on the line “they locked me up and took my soul,” so he didn’t think anything of it either.

They have a lot of concerned opinions about that upon knowing what happened in the Baker Estate and where that song actually came from.

Anonymous asked:

Watching Alastor's time in the Baker's Estate, nobody talks much but when that cop finds Alastor trapped inside and basically says Alastor isn't right in the head and there have been missing people in this area, Charlie is practically screaming "THAT'S HIM! HE'S ONE OF THE MISSING!"

Anonymous asked:

Alastor was reasonably frightened in the Baker’s Estate, serial killer or not the creatures he’s up against would be terrifying, but the thing that truly scared him was when he found Guy locked in that padded cell, and Guy immediately had some kind of mental breakdown and tried to get them out because “Daddy’s coming.”

Angel raised an eyebrow at the Daddy title if Lucifer showed them what happened at the Baker's Estate, but that was the moment Alastor knew something was seriously wrong with Guy. Guy knows Alastor has issues with his father and fathers in general. He wouldn’t say something like that unless either that was the only name he knew for his captor (begging the question of why), or something got into Guy’s head. That's the worst thing Guy could possibly say, and Guy should know that.

He wouldn’t immediately assume Guy’s possessed by demon mold, but that combined with Guy panicking about disappearing doors, not remembering things well, and behavior indicative of hallucinations, Alastor knows he needs to watch his back. When Guy disappears and Alastor finds him again, he is much more prepared for this to be the mold-possessed version of Guy that tries to attack him. 

Anonymous asked:

Eveline (RE7) manifests herself as a child but Alastor “would strike a child” Hawthorne was in no way deterred by this. Need to defeat the demon child to save Guy? He's on his way to get it over with.

Anonymous asked:

Talks of Guy and Alastor in the Bakers' Estate got me thinking. Both would have serious trauma from that, especially Guy who was there longer, and that trauma would be even worse if he died by an illness from the Bakers' Estate.

During episode 6, Adam shamed Angel for going to a bar with friends after a hard day, and when called out for that only retaliated that "Uh, we don't have hard days? It's fucking Heaven, bitch." Nobody tried to deny this was the line of thinking in Heaven, that people don't have bad days so coping methods are minimal or shamed.

Would Guy even do well in Heaven? He was ripped from his friend he knows understands his trauma, and any attempts to process or cope with the trauma would be shamed so he would have to either suffer in silence or live in secrecy. If he died from disease, he didn't get a chance in life to come to terms with it either and his death was awful.

Anonymous asked:

For RE7, I’m scared to think about the screenshots Vox took of human Alastor. He already has a room filled with Alastor’s photos, now he has the human ones.

Anonymous asked:

Another messed-up aspect of Alastor going to the Bakers' Estate (and would terrify the hotel) is the beginning of Marguerite's section. In the game, Ethan found a video from Mia detailing her experiences that night trying to escape and being captured. In absence of that technology, Alastor is either going in blind, or managed to find Guy again and they went through the old house the first time together, hearing Marguerite’s switching between calm and enraged, yelling and chastising Guy for wanting to escape with “that boy, Alastor,” and neither of them know how she knows Alastor's name, because Alastor didn't say it and Guy insists he didn't either but has so many memory problems he can't be sure.

Especially terrifying if that means Alastor was there when Guy is captured again by Marguerite, and he has the chase after them as Guy is screaming and begging Alastor for help.

Anonymous asked:

Since we are doing RE 7, how about RE 8 with Rose being the biological daughter of Guy

After being rescued, the police force thought it was a good idea to hire a lady of the night to entertain Guy. (I still think Guy is also on the ace spectrum but he just experienced a living hell for about three years. And he was probably buzzed and without Alastor there things happened)

They didn’t know about Rose until a friend of the girl dropped her off. Apparently the mother didn’t want to take care of Rose (appearntly she sensed an evil presence in the baby) making Guy was a single dad. But Alastor decided to step up and that’s how Rose Hawthorne Winters had two dads in the 1920/30’s.

Anonymous asked:

Resident Evil 7

Alastor avoiding everyone in the hotel because they watched his past and now his photo of his human self is all over the web. Eventually he would leave the hotel for even days, choosing to stay at Cannibal Town and murdering every person that decides to go up to him talk about his past.

Charlie: Alastor I’m so sorry!

Alastor: Sorry that you invaded my privacy or sorry that most of hell know what I looked like and my past.

Charlie: Both

Alastor: Noted. But now I have to remind those stupid enough to mess with the Radio Demon.

They’re also on the lookout for Bakers. Alastor will be damned if anyone, especially the Vees find Lucas Baker.

Anonymous asked:

Susan is actually Eveline and she can change her age to little girl to an old lady, with Alastor she reverts back to her Eveline form and when she is playing with the Cannibal children.

[terraliensvent]

On behalf of someone not in the server, /what/ is the whole myo scandal going on rn? Did they hand out fake myos...? Did they revoke paid myos....? Did staff trade illegal myos to people....??? I'm lost.

OK SO im just gonna give a whole summary of the events of the past few days since it seems a lot of people are confused (also i dont have screenshots EVERYTHING what im about to say, but this is just what i remember from personally seeing it. ill link posts as they come along for context):

the other night, when staff made this announcement regarding coy, shit started to hit the fan pretty fast

this announcement came after almost a full 2 days of weird behavior from staff, like how a lot of them put almost all their terras up for trade and how there was basically radio silence with the staff questions and design concept channels going unanswered. a lot of people noticed how suspicious this was, and this anon was pretty on the money with their theory

so suffice to say everyone was pretty much on the edge of their seats waiting for something big, and after the announcement was made the entire server basically exploded. in the chaos of people trading and running around like chickens with their heads cut off, the mods said they would approve anything submitted to the site. they said they were doing this so they could make the species as bad as possible for when coy took it over, and mods were in the server being very apathetic about it and having an attitude like “idgaf what happens now because we have been getting treated like shit so this is finally the consequences.” this attitude can be seen in the screenshots included here too

during this chaos, people could also ask for myos to be uploaded to their acc for free, which mods would do. so tons of people got “illegitimate” myos. people used their illegal myos and real myos that had been purchased before the downfall to upload tons of characters and some joke characters too, like one that was just a PNG of ellen. during this huge chaos, people were also hating on coy and freely talking about things they disliked about how the species was run as opposed to the chokehold toxic positivity attitude that the server usually had. truly the most euphoric the server has ever been. some coy meat rider was also defending them, and got really aggressive about it and telling people to go fuck themselves (for which they got banned). someone else also made a branch-off server so people could stay in contact with their friends from the terra community seeing as the future was totally uncertain

after a while the “we are approving everything” stopped, and things were a bit more quiet. temul and some mods joined the branch-off server and gave some more deets about the shit coy would do. i also made my Big Post; initially this post was just gonna be positive stuff about how i has a discussion with tycho about suggesting things for the species, but after the announcement was made i was given screenshots to post here by a mod so i just threw it all in the same post. the Big Post made public opinion of coy a lot worse since now there were animal abuse allegations being talked about, but later on with further scrutiny the conclusion was reached that the screenshot was mainly coy exaggerating to try and be funny, but miserably failing. either way, public opinion of coy was and still is totally in the shitter.

the next day, mods put out another announcement that can be summed up as “lol sorry guys everyone get back to business” which is total bs to me considering the shit they were saying the very night before. so now they wanna try and reign in this species when they already did irreparable damage, and now people are switching up and acting like nothing ever happened (i assume its because mods are gonna be looking for new staff soon and they want a piece of the pie lmao)

to fix the monumental fucking issue they created for no reason, they put out another announcement (which i forgot to post here oops sorry pookies)

so basically what theyre gonna do is:

- if you uploaded character(s) that night using illegal MYO(s), you can choose ONE to unvoid (with any changes that need to be made in order to be legal if you have illegal traits and stuff, like for example eyes + mouth), the unvoided terra will be account bound and non voucherable

- if you had an illegal myo from that night but DIDNT use it, or if you didnt get any illegal myos at all, there will be a form to fill out where you can get one free MYO that will create any subtype up to modified (meaning no limited subtypes), the MYO will be account bound until designed. theyre also in the process of figuring out whether theyll give people the choice of using x amount of lim traits or having the terra be voucherable. some of it is still up in the air

- if you used a legal myo to upload your terra, there will be a process a little down the line for you to get your myo and any items back

and this is where were at now, people in the terra server are acting like everythings normal and going along with the toxic positivity mob once more, people in the branch-off server are freely expressing their grievances as they did that night, and im pissed off because i think its a little unfair that people will get to unvoid their lim terras meanwhile other people only get up to a modified. hand out lim myos instead of modified, why are we STILL doing the artificial scarcity youre all acting just like coy

[mooodyblue]

todays the day, it's your birthday | 60s!elvis x gn!reader

summary: you never really liked your birthday, but elvis helps change that.

warnings: none

wc: 1.7k

note: happy birthday to me! have a birthday fic as a little celebration, i got a list of requests from a anon awhile back and decided to put them all in one fic! enjoy!

masterlist | request | taglist

"i hear it's someone's birthday!"

you turned your head from the kitchen table to the sound of the voice, giving elvis a fake smile then going back to eating your cereal. he kissed the top of your head and sat next to you. "was gonna make you breakfast but i guess you've already beat me to it"

you sighed. "i told you, i don't celebrate my birthday." you held your hand up as elvis opened his mouth to respond. "no, don't say anything. it's fine, really. i just want to have a normal day, please?"

birthdays were never your thing. you couldn't remember the last time it was enjoyable. from growing up with nobody showing up to your birthday party and to now being an adult with just a couple of friends, it was just another pointless holiday. this was your first year being with elvis and as the day approached, you made extra sure to remind him you wanted to do nothing for your birthday, to act like it's just a regular day. but elvis wasn't going to listen to you, was he?

he placed his hand on top of yours, sitting there silently trying to come up with a way to change your ways of thinking. elvis knew you hated the day and he understood why however he wanted to change that for you. little did you know, he had a whole day planned for you whether you liked it or not. he glanced at your unpainted nails, the corners of his lips perking up as he came up with an idea. "why don't you let me do your nails?"

you gave him a look, squinting at him suspiciously. you put your spoon down back in the bowl and turned to him. "why?"

he scoffed at your response. "why what? am i not allowed to pamper you? hell, i'll do your makeup too, why not? c'mon baby, let me do something for you." he begged.

it was cute seeing how hard elvis was trying to cheer you up, you knew he wanted to do something for you for today. you almost felt bad. letting out a sigh, you agreed and finished up your breakfast as elvis went upstairs to get everything he needed to do your nails and makeup. he was definitely a little too excited, but seeing him happy made you happy at least. he sat you at the dining table, pulling a chair up next to you. "alright, little one. red or pink?" he asked, holding up both bottles of nail polish.

"hmm." you looked back and forth at both bottles, thinking hard about your decision. "pink." it was one of his favorite colors and personally his favorite color on you. although, you already knew he wanted you to pick pink anyway. he grinned as he opened the bottle, taking your hand and starting on your nails. "you gonna let me paint your nails one day too?" you joked.

"oh lord." he laughed, trying to not lose focus on your nails. "the guys might tear me apart if you do."

"do you really care if they do though?"

he held on tighter to your hand to stop you from moving so much. "baby, i'm elvis presley. laughin' at me is the last thing i'm worried about. you have to promise you'll make em' a pretty shade of pink too. now stop movin' so much."

next was your makeup. elvis wore makeup on stage quite often so this wasn't anything new to him. "please don't poke me in the eye." you said once he brought out his eyeliner.

he scoffed at you. "honey, i've been doing this for years. have you ever seen me poke myself in the eye?"

"yes!" you exclaimed.

"alright, that's enough from you."

to your surprise, he gave you some pointers that you didn't know you needed. showing you how to do some sort of smokey look to your eyes and making them pop out more. he topped it off with a dark shade of red lipstick, a color he always loved seeing you wear. he held up the mirror towards your face, proudly showing off his work. "if this music thing doesn't cut out for you, maybe you could be a makeup artist." you said, looking at your face in the mirror. "y'know that ain't such a bad idea."

elvis set the mirror back down and stood up, placing his hands on his hips. "now that that's all done, i'll let you do your hair. put somethin' pretty on too. we're celebratin' whether you like it or not."

"you tricked me!" you gasped.

"i sure did, now go get ready!" he left you in your bedroom as he went back downstairs, preparing for the best birthday you could ever ask for.

you returned downstairs to elvis holding a picnic basket in one hand and a guitar in the other. "goddamn, look at you. so beautiful and all mine, how did i get so lucky?" you felt your cheeks get warm at the sudden compliment, finding yourself fall in love with elvis all over again. "i should be asking the same thing, what's all this?"

"it's nice out, not too hot. thought, why not go for a little picnic? i had some help packing us lunch and the gardeners aren't here, it'd just be you and me." he smiled.

the love you had for this man was beyond any other type of love you'd ever felt for anyone in your life. him being so determined to make this the best birthday you've ever had just made you feel like the luckiest person in the world. "that sounds lovely, actually."

"perfect, let's head out then." you linked your arm with his as the two of you walked outside around graceland to a specific spot elvis had set up just for you.

the atmosphere was perfect. there was a slight breeze in the air, the birds were chirping along as they hung around the garden and the roses he let you plant when you first moved in were at full bloom. elvis had laid out a large checkered, blanket in the grass and even set out a couple wine glasses just for the two of you. he set down the guitar to the side along with the picnic basket in the middle as you both took a seat on the soft blanket. you were in awe of the perfect setting in front of you. it reminded you of a scene from frankie and johnny, if only you were both wearing yellow.

elvis brought out his guitar after you both ate and had a few drinks, singing happy birthday to you in the most heavenly way possible. you clapped excitingly, smiling from ear to ear. "who knew you could make happy birthday actually bearable?"

"you gonna sing it for mine?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

you let out a loud laugh, "that's funny." you said, taking a sip from your wine glass. "elvis, you've heard me sing. i can't even play the guitar."

"hmm." he moved over to you and took the glass out of your hands to set it on the sheet. placing the guitar in your lap, he sat behind you and positioned your hands around it. "follow my lead." and with his hands on yours, his fingers adjusting yours, he made a quick attempt at a guitar tutorial. to be fair, everything he said went a bit over your head. but it was sweet that he tried, at least you got to sit in his embrace for a little bit. he played you a couple more songs afterwards, giving you a mini concert right in front of you. "how'd i do?" he asked, setting the guitar back to the side.

"not enough gyrating." you joked.

"i'll show you gyratin'" he growled, crawling over to you and flopping his body onto yours, attacking you with kisses.

you let out a yell, attempting to push him off. "elvis! my hair!" you whined. elvis only showered you with more kisses, tickling you softly in the process. "stop!" you laughed. "baby! i'm serious!" elvis gave you one final kiss and grinned at you, taking in your beaty. "i love you, darlin' i really do." he sat up and pulled you up alongside with him, letting you sit in his lap. "i love you more. thank you for this. you made today a little more enjoyable."

"oh baby, it ain't over yet."

elvis took you around to the many go karts him and his friends often ride around in. personally, you aren't the biggest fan of them. they scared you a little and you were always nervous when elvis was out riding them. "c'mon honey, let's have a little fun. three laps around the house, bet i can beat ya!"

"oh i don't know, these things scare me a little." you chuckled nervously.

"come on! i promise you'll be okay, i'll be right behind you. or in front of you, however it goes." he begged.

you let out a huff, caving in. "alright, fine."

elvis taught you how to drive them, giving you a quick run down and giving you the safety talk. he strapped you in before getting in his own kart, strapping himself in. "you're on, presley."

elvis smirked at you, "whatever you say!"

he counted down and off you went, speeding around graceland with elvis right behind you as the wind flew through your hair. it was a new experience for you, almost a little scary. but you laughed and yelled along with elvis, enjoying the ride. elvis loved seeing you happy, full of excitement. he turned a awful day into a good one. when he's with the guys, he'd play dirty. but because it's you and it's your birthday, he was gonna play nice. even if that meant letting you win, which he did. you pulled into the front where you both first started, hopping out of the kart and jumping up and down as elvis pulled after you. "in your face! i told you! who's the winner now!"

elvis stepped out of the kart, shaking his head in defeat. "goddamn, you're crazy." he laughed.

"it's my birthday! im allowed to brag." you crossed your arms.

"okay, tone it down a notch." he pulled you close to him, kissing you. "lettin' you get away with it cause it's your birthday."

"best birthday ever." you grinned. "maybe i don't hate my birthday anymore."

"now that's what i wanna hear." he wrapped his arms around your waist, gazing into your eyes with all the love in the world. "happy birthday baby, let's go have some real fun now."

taglist: @aconflagrationofmyown @butlersluvbot @arianatheangel-girl @steph-speaks @vintagegirl50s60s70s80s @annoyinginternetgirl @flwrs4aust

[eldritch-spouse]

same anon here who sent the "what if their obsession's nonchalant" ask (and also the "morning routine blog check" ask, it really does feel like reading the daily news paper in a way). that last bit about Patches broke me, so i wanna add on to that ask. didn't have a lotta brain juice at the moment, but i tried.

the longer you're around someone, you're eventually gonna grow attached or form some sort of fondness. especially if you don't really hate them, or feel too negatively about them. so after some time if the guys haven't given up yet, their obsession starts to reciprocate, little by little. at first they think it's just their imagination, it can't be real, this person doesn't really care they're just resigned to their captivity, but then their obsession does something to change that thought.

Morell is irritated and tired; maybe his recent catch was very tedious, maybe the humans were particularly difficult to handle or maybe they're somehow a poor fit to make a good meal out of, but of course he's not gonna waste anything. his piglet comes around the corner into the kitchen and notices his sour mood. they seem conflicted with something for a moment, and as they approach there's a look of...is that a smile? it's small, but it's definitely a smile. Morell obviously doesn't have anything prepared yet so why are they coming into the kitchen? and why are they smiling at him like that? they stand in front of Morell, seeming to admire the many spots littering his body like it's the first time they're seeing them. there's...a light to their eyes, they don't seem so dettached and aloof like usual. they fidget with their hands, almost like they want to reach out and touch him. Morell feels a flicker of hope in the back of his mind, ready to be snuffed out the moment they return to their usual apathetic behavior, ask when the food might be ready and walk back out of the kitchen to their comfy sleeping spot to wait. their eyes finally look up to Morell's face, and their expression softens. "you look tired," they state the obvious. "maybe the food can wait this time. think you have enough time to cuddle with me for a nap?"

Nebul just returned from whatever important business he had to attend. he'd been so busy as of late and couldn't seem to find the time for his pearl...not that he's too upset, to be perfectly honest. their empty expression unsettled him at times. Nebul comes back to his room to find that some of his things have been rearranged. nothing broken and nothing particularly priceless was touched, it was only items that be easily replaced. there's even a bottle knocked down onto the floor, somehow unbroken and unscathed. Nebul feels a bit annoyed and there's the thought of his traitorous pet finally attempting an escape, this being some sort of distraction. he turns around to go catch them, only to be met with the very person he was thinking of. they...look upset. a moment passes and they rush towards Nebul, not to attack him, but to...hug him, burying their face into his chest. how odd, and uncharacteristic of someone usually so apathetic. a bit suspicious. Nebul is about to ask them what are they trying to pull, but they look up at him and speak first. "you've been gone a lot," they pout. "i don't like it. i'll start misbehaving if you keep going away so much." a small "i missed you" is heard from them as they smoosh their face back into Nebul's chest.

Santi feels a bit down, more so than usual since finding his one. Santi finally finding them was supposed to be wonderful and everything he's ever dreamed of, but they appeared so unethusiatic and uncaring. they just went along with it, not seeming to understand how important this was to him. Santi's done almost everything he could think of to get their love and affection, sometimes they reacted positively and other times they seemed confused or apathetic. he wants a genuine relationship with them, but they just seemed so...cold, most of the time. it gnaws away at him, and he almost wishes he had never met them. the two not-quite-lovebirds were in bed, it was very early in the morning. Santi had technically been half-awake for a few minutes, but he didn't want to leave his bed yet. he felt his partner began to stir. they groggily sat up and looked towards him, taking a moment to sit there to reflect upon whatever their first thoughts were, and then laid themselves upon Santi's chest with a sigh of contentment, wrapping their arms around him. that was new. they usually stick to their side of the bed, unless it was after sex when they were too tired to move. they weren't trying to touch him in any other way, so they couldn't be in the mood this early. instinctively, Santi wraps his own arms around them. "you awake?" they mumble. Santi hums in acknowledgement, curiosity getting the best of him. "i...i'm gonna make more of an effort with this," they position their head to look up at him, their eyes tired yet determined. "i do see what you've been doing, i just...was never in a relationship before, so i don't know how to go about it. it's all very new and...to be honest, it's overwhelming." Santi's staring at them intently now. where are they going with this? should he even dare to hope? "with that said, i...really do wanna be your partner. i don't know how to be a good partner cuz, again, i've never had a relationship before, but i'm gonna really try. i wanna make this work."

Patches has been feeling stressed and emotional. they haven't been around him as much as they used to, ever since he brought back some art supplies they asked for. are they finally bored of him? annoyed with his pathetic self? was he truly unwanted? horrible thoughts buzzing around in his mind, each one worst than the last. he's angry at them for tugging him along for their amusement, he's sad that he was never enough, he's paranoid that maybe they somehow have eyes for someone else, he's feeling a lot of things and strongest of all is the heartache. Patches just wanted their love and attention, was that really too much to ask for? was he really that pathetic to them? he's brewing in all these terrible thoughts when he hears their voice. Patches whips around to face them, their arms behind their back. they're hiding something from him. "you alright, Pumpkin Patch?" Pumpkin Patch, it had been his nickname since their first meeting. despite his anxieties still plaguing his thoughts, it warmed his dead heart to hear it again. Patches stutters out that he's fine, it was barely a sentence but he can't help that they had startled him. "okay, well...if you're sure you're alright. anyway," they move the object from behind their back to hold in front of them. it was a canvas for painting, Patches notices, with the back facing him. they weren't revealing the painted picture just yet. "been wanting to do something special for you. i didn't mean to avoid you so much, just wanted to surprise you with something." they flip the canvas over to reveal a painted portrait of Patches wearing old Victorian attire—they actually remembered him gushing about that kind of clothing—holding a dimly lit lantern, a beautiful dark horse with white striking eyes standing near his side with the reins in his other hand. his expression in the portrait looked mischievous. in the far background, Patches could make out a small town that looked rundown and abandoned. overall, the picture looked dark and foreboding, and his painted self looked intimidating. "i was—i was gonna paint you being in a pumpkin patch cuz, y'know, that'd be cute, but i wanted to also paint something like this, cuz you're a dullahan and that's pretty cool and maybe you'd like this one more instead of the pumpkin patch idea, cuz you look really cool in this one, um—" they were flustered, fidgeting in place and looking everywhere but at Patches' face. "you've done a lot for me, and i really wanted to make something for you. i hope you like it, it's...like a declaration of my feelings, i guess? not—not that i see you as something for me to be scared of! i just thought it fit you being a dullahan. i, um—i'm not great at being romantic, i don't know if i'm doing this right. i'm not great at expressing how i feel, so...this felt like the best way i could, if that makes sense?"

Anon, my heart- 💗💕💖👌

This is fucking adorable.

[curseofaphrodite]

Guide to Run

Regulus Black x fem!reader (fluff, a bit angsty)

Summary: Why’s the reader sneaking away to Forbidden Forest in the middle of the night? (Another version of this fic) | warnings: swearing | the reader is muggle born btw! requested by anon | masterlist

"Just where do you think you're going?" Regulus asked, sounding amused and a bit too curious.

"Enjoy the party, Reg. I'm sleeping early tonight." You said to your best friend with a tired smile. The tired part was real, but you needed the lie to work.

"Okay." Regulus put off the dread from his mind. Technically, he was only there in the Halloween party because you had asked, and now that you are leaving, so could he.

But why did he feel like she was meeting up with someone? Even if she was, that's none of his business, but why was he worried? Okay, see, she's completely fine, Reg thought, sighing. He saw a scarf lying on the place she left. Even if it wasn’t hers, he didn't care. He just needed a reason to follow her.

Regulus mentally called himself stupid at least 20 times, because not only were you sneaking out of Hogwarts, you were going inside the freaking Forbidden Forest. A part of him was hurt too, because he told you almost everything, but it seems like you have secrets.

Just last week, he was telling you about his mother and he never talks about his family to anyone. He even told you how they were pressuring him to join the Death Eaters.

Well, the war was always a tough topic. Before this, he could pretend nothing was happening in his family, that he wasn’t crying in random nights because of Walburga.

Now, it wasn’t so easy. Whisper followed him through the corridors and even if he didn't say anything to Y/N, the rumors reached her first and all the lies didn't even come close to what he was actually going through.

Y/N wouldn't question anything, just hold his hand and ramble about nothings, knowing that he’d come around if he wants to. 

He was so focused on his life that he hadn't noticed what was going on with Y/N’s. If he thought hard enough, he could see that she was acting suspicious the entire week. Didn't she go to bed early quite a bit? 

Regulus fastened his pace, determined to figure out what was happening once and for all.

You disappeared into a small clearing, and he sneaked up behind you. He was initially planning on surprising you but of course, he was the one who was surprised.

“What the hell?” He said quite audibly, and you let out a startled yelp.

There was a whole damn lot of things there, and his eyes couldn't comprehend most of them. Two bags with their zips unlocked lay to his left, and it had clothes and trinkets overpouring from it. Plastic boxes were lined up with food, and there was a suitcase just for books. A familiar photo album was on top of it and he didn't need to come closer to know it was Y/N’s — the one they filled up with pictures over their years at Hogwarts.

“Why the hell did you follow me?” Y/N asked, looking like he strangled her.

“Why me?” Regulus felt annoyance building up in his chest. “I told you all about my family and the coming war, and you promised you’d be by my side — all the while packing up bags to flee the fucking country?”

“You don’t understand,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m a muggle born, you don’t know what it means for m-”

“Of course, I bloody hell know what it means for you!” His voice echoed off the trees, and he felt ashamed to feel the angry tears running down his face. His voice cracked. “When were you going to tell me?”

“I hate it when you interrupt me.” You sighed, though you were shaken yourself. This wasn’t how you planned you’d explain. “You don’t know what it’s like for me or you.”

“What?”

“Don’t try to play dumb, Reg. Voldemort doesn't just go after muggle-borns. Your closest friend is me and that makes you a blood traitor.”

“He doesn't know about you.”

“Yet.”

“He won’t.”

“I know.” You bit down your lips. “I know exactly what's going to happen, Reg. You’ll cut me off, won’t you?”

“If that’s what it takes to keep you safe.” There was not a drop of hesitancy in his voice.

“And you know what you’ll do then? You’ll feel bad, hate yourself, and try to take down Voldemort all by yourself,” your words were calm but Regulus felt the storm behind it. You had thought it all out. “It will end up with you doing something stupidly heroic and you’ll die.”

She said that so bluntly, as if she had dreams of it all every night and she couldn't care less about it now. But the way her hands were shaking told otherwise.

“Dying doing something is better than living as a death eater,” he whispered. 

“I won’t let you,” you said firmly.

“By running?”

“Yes. and dragging you with me.” 

His mouth slightly parted, looking at you like you went crazy. He looked at the bags again and drew in a determined breath.

“No. No. That’s crazy—”

“Just hear me out—”

“No, you hear me out! I can’t come anywhere, okay? It’s better to infiltrate the death eaters than being the one who runs. They’ll know I’m not loyal if I fucking run!”

“That’s the point!” You were yelling now too, and you didn't care. “All your life you were asked to be something. You always said yes to everything even if you didn’t mean it. Maybe you can’t literally say no to being a death eater, but you can say yes to me. Come with me.”

He looked like a sad painting, the kind a museum hangs just so someone can pass by and say, atleast I’m not going through whatever this dude is going through.

“Dumbledore is creating the Order of Phoenix,” you weren't supposed to let out that piece of information, but what was out was out. And you trusted him with your entire life. “It’s to take down Voldemort. You want to help? Join us, tell us what you know. And when we run, there’ll be safehouses. I promise you, we won’t be caught.”

“If we are caught, they’ll kill you first, just so they could watch me beg and cry.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a better-don't-get-killed-because-I-love-you.” He said patiently and waited, his nervousness well tucked in behind his mask of secrecy. 

It was funny how even with the war and a lot of dangerous things happening in the world, Regulus’s heart was hammering like a teenager’s because he finally confessed.

“If any of this wasn't obvious,” you smiled, gesturing to all the bags. “I love you too.”

Regulus smiled. Genuinely smiled. He’s had enough of the Dark Lord and he was going to take him down, and if he dies, he’ll die knowing that perhaps he wasn't so lonely like he always thought.

[therenlover]

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs Chapter One (A Three Chapter Helmut Zemo/Reader Fanfic)

(Thank you to the wonderful anon who requested angst and smut between Zemo and the reader because Zemo had to be away from her on the run!)

Synopsis: A year after working together with Zemo in the events of Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Sam and Bucky seek him out once again in need of shelter from John Walker. Meanwhile, Zemo’s wife resents his absence and prepares for guests.

Tags: Flashbacks, Depression, Alcoholism, Separation Anxiety, Arguing, Struggling Marriage, Reunions

Rating: T (E in future chapters)

Warnings: Guns, Swearings, Reader shows signs of alcoholism/alcohol abuse, Reader uses a hot shower as a mild form of self harm

Word Count: 5000~

This fic has been crossposted under the same title to my AO3!

----------

Helmut Zemo was not often a man backed into a corner.

He was smart, resourceful, and had nothing left to lose. If it came down to the line, he would do whatever had to be done within his morals to achieve his goals, even if that goal was simply staying alive. The Baron bowed to no man, and made his enemies, no matter their size, fall to their knees with sheer wit instead of brute strength. That’s why, when he stood backed into an alley with the barrel of James Barnes’ gun to his forehead as the Falcon watched on, it was strange that he didn’t try to weasel his way out.

“We need answers,” Sam said, hands in the pockets of his dark hoodie. Bucky wore a similar one, only he wore a baseball cap instead of keeping his hood up. “How the hell did you break out of prison for a second time?”

Usually, Zemo would have replied with a clever quip. He had never been one to back down from a fight. This time, though, he looked almost frightened as he raised his arms in defeat. “I got in contact with friends on the outside during our short adventure together. They decided to help me out once I was re-incarcerated, willingly I might add. I had no part in the plan, but who would look a gift horse in the mouth?”

“And I guess I’m just supposed to assume you had no part in getting my pardon revoked?” Bucky spat.

“If you hadn’t noticed, James, I’ve left you alone,” A hint of his usual mockery slipped into Helmut’s tone, but he quickly pulled it back, “Believe what you want about me, but I’ve had some time since last year to… re-evaluate my feelings on the world. You had no choice but to do the things you did as the Winter Soldier, and as long as you pose no threat to society now I have no qualms with you,”

Despite the strangeness of Zemo’s response Bucky remained unphased. Sam, on the other hand, was less stoic.

“Man, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the government is looking for Bucky and I harder than they’re looking for you, and it’s kind of all your fault, so excuse me for not giving a shit about your supposed sudden change of heart!”

“Can we get to the point? I’m afraid my flight leaves in an hour and I would hate to be late,”

“Cut the bullshit!” There Bucky went, pushing the cold metal closer to Zemo’s furrowed forehead.

“Bucky...” Sam warned.

“No, Sam, I can do this. Did you or did you not actively attempt to get my pardon revoked when you took us to Madripoor? Because thanks to you, a worse symbol than Sam is now standing unchecked with the title of Captain America AND he has access to the last of the new super soldier serum AND he’s trying to get us killed so we can’t tell the world about the awful shit he does,”

“I-” Zemo went to speak and, for the first time since he had met him, Sam believed he was being genuine. There was a tremble that made its way through him, all the way to his raised hands and even his voice. It was enough that Bucky even lowered the gun minutely. “I understood that by following my lead, the both of you were risking a lot. I didn’t intend any specific malice with my actions though, no. If I may… the two of you have attracted a lot of attention here in the past few days. I assume Walker is very close to finding you?”

Sam and Bucky shared a look before Sam responded. “Maybe, why?”

“I have a safe house,” he continued, “I don’t stay there often so the location isn’t compromised, but it’s my next stop. Might I suggest we take this conversation on the road? I would hate to host your reunion with Mr. Walker in an alley over my corpse,”

There was a moment of complete stillness. Zemo remained, face dark with that strange deer-in-headlights look, a perfect statue, as the barrel of Bucky’s gun remained pointed firmly in his direction and Sam shared what seemed to be a completely silent conversation with Bucky. It was true that they had been burned before. Zemo was a man with his own agenda who did what it took to fulfill it. That being said, he had returned willingly with them back to prison before he was broken out, and without his help, the band of freshly minted super soldiers would still be running around Europe causing chaos. In the end, Bucky lowered his gun slowly before tucking it away into his boot holster.

Zemo grinned.

“Don’t think this means we trust you,” Sam groaned, pointing a finger at the man.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Now, gentlemen, I believe we have a plane to catch,”

As the trio began to make their way out of the alley Bucky and Sam fell to the flank of the group. “Do you really think this is a good idea?” Bucky asked, eyes darting between his two companions. Sam shrugged.

“At this point, I’m doing whatever it takes to get home to my family in one piece. If that means I have to ride in Zemo’s stupid private jet again and lay low for a while, then that’s what I’m gonna do, because Sarah and those kids don’t deserve to lose me all over again,”

“But don’t you think he’s acting a little… weird?”

“Don’t worry, I have my eye on him. If he tries anything we can just throw him out front when Walker tries to shoot us,”

“You’re doing a very poor job of concealing your conversation,” Zemo shouted.

Bucky stormed ahead as Sam laughed.

“Oh, shut up!”

Surprisingly, the drive to the airstrip was mostly uneventful, as was the relatively short flight from Zurich to Avignon. There was, of course, the usual cutthroat banter and tension so thick you could feel it like a fog hanging over the group, but in an unusual twist of fate, the baron did very little to initiate. Of course, he wasn’t fully innocent though. He never was. That being said, even as his chauffeur carefully navigated the stone roads to the dropoff point he was strangely quiet. He had texted someone earlier to have the house prepared for their arrival but he kept looking down at the phone as if a response would come. It didn’t.

Sam appreciated the break from the noise. To him, it was a moment of peace after a few months of constant opposition. For the duration of the trip, he had chosen to shoot a few choice quips Bucky’s way before taking a long nap. Bucky, on the other hand, was only growing more suspicious of Zemo by the minute.

After his time with Hydra, Bucky had become intimately acquainted with the type of man that Zemo was. He was ruthless, driven by ideals that couldn’t be changed by any amount of debate or theory read inside a prison cell, and willing to do whatever it took to fulfill those ideals no matter the cost. There was remorse but no regret. A man like that doesn’t just stop believing in the thing that led him to kill dozens if not hundreds of people, because once the impetus is gone so is the only thing upholding their sense of self.

In basic terms, he was hiding something. Bucky was intent on finding out what that thing was, a thing important enough to make Zemo of all people shut the hell up and tell his enemies exactly where his safe house was, and he wasn’t going to rest until he did. The answer came easily enough in the end, but not before Sam and Bucky were forced face to face with the strangest thing they had ever seen, even when including aliens and wizards. That thing was Zemo buying flowers.

The trio had gotten out of the car somewhere around the center of the city and continued towards the safe house on foot. A few minutes after they started, though, Zemo had spoken.

“I apologize, but I’ll have to stop for a moment,” He said, holding up a hand to alert the two men trailing him to the fact that he was about to stop. Sam quirked up an eyebrow.

“At a flower shop?”

There, to the right of them, was a small fleuriste. The window was a burst of bright color. Pinks, reds, whites, purples; a certain bunch of spring blooms had caught Zemo’s eye. He shrugged. “It’s rude to arrive at someone’s house asking for a favor without a gift, Mr. Wilson. Excuse me,”

With a comfort that said he had been into the shop many times, Zemo walked through the door and began conversing with the shop owner in perfect French, even referring to her as tu instead of vous as he made his purchase.

“Did he just say someone’s house ?” Sam asked Bucky, eyes widening.

Bucky gritted his teeth. “Yeah, I think he did,”

“So, we’re just showing up at someone’s door,”

“Yup. Not to mention they’re someone who aligns themself with him,”

A groan escaped from Sam as he ran his hand down his face in disbelief. “I didn’t expect much from Zemo, but damn,”

“It’s your fault for expecting anything from Zemo in the first place,”

“For once, you’re right,”

They dawdled for a moment. As their conversation stilled, Zemo returned, now burdened by a sizable bouquet from the window. Around them, the city was starting to get off of work. Families walked together as businesses had their 5 o’clock shift change. Somehow as the world around them came to life it didn’t look at Sam and Bucky with anything more than a passing glance. They were tourists, nothing more. For a moment Sam understood why Zemo would go to a place like this for safety and anonymity.

Without ceremony, the trio began walking towards their destination once again.

“I apologize for the delay,” Zemo said, keeping his pace brisk and remaining about a foot ahead of his companions, “I suppose it’s become a bit of a habit that I buy Y/N flowers whenever I come back. We shouldn’t be long now, though, the house is just a few more blocks away, maybe 3 minutes by foot,”

“Y/N?” Bucky asked. The name felt heavy on his tongue, familiar. That had to be a coincidence though. Zemo would never align himself with anyone who had worked for Hydra, and there was no other place he could have heard that name and had it hold any significance. Right?

Zemo chuckled. “Y/N is our host. I’d appreciate it if you tried to maintain some semblance of respect when we arrive, she tends to have quite the temper and it would reflect badly on me if she believed I was asking her to indefinitely house two people who would happily send her to prison,”

“About that,” Sam chimed in, “Who the hell are we about to be staying with? It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t, and by extension, I also don’t tend to trust people who trust you,”

“I assure you, Sam, Y/N is more trustworthy to you than I will ever be,”

“That doesn’t answer my question, nor does it make me feel any better,”

“She’s American, and like you, she is seeking shelter from the government. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“Man, at this point I feel like you’re not telling us because she’s actually some sort of crazy Sokovian sleeper agent who’s gonna stab us in the back while we sleep. Am I crazy, Buck, or am I right?”

Bucky, who had been trying his best to stay out of the conversation, replied. “You are being unnecessarily evasive, Zemo, though that’s nothing new…”

“Right? Like, I’m really grateful that you’re lending us a hand, but I’ve gotta be honest, if I think for a second things are going south-”

Sam never got to finish his sentence.

Suddenly, Zemo stopped short, turning around and looking Bucky in the eye with a madness neither he nor Sam had ever seen before. His whole body was stiff, rigid. The hand that wasn’t cradling the flowers delicately was gripped in a fist at his side. He looked angry, but underneath the anger, he really just looked scared. “You will not touch her. Do you hear me? Do what you’d like with me, I have made choices worthy of punishment, but you will not touch Y/N. If you so much as think of it, all bets are off. Do you understand me?”

Bucky nodded, sharp. This was certainly interesting. Sam just smirked.

“Is there something else you want to tell us?”

Zemo walked up a small set of stairs towards a home to their right. “No, Mr. Wilson, I don’t believe so,”

The building was a nice one, all tan stone with dark wrought-iron fixtures on its many windows. It looked, for all intents and purposes, like a normal midtown manor-house for some upper-class member of the community. The normalcy of it all hid its true purpose in plain sight. It was genius, really. Over a dividing wall made of the same yellowing stone, Sam could see a small sliver of vibrant green garden space and a pool at the side of the building.

With a steadying breath, Zemo knocked on the door.

“You have to knock on the door of your own safe house?” There was a hint of incredulity in Bucky’s voice as he crossed his arms. This was going to be a disaster. Why had they agreed to this again?

“A little etiquette goes a long way, James, especially when you’re already in the doghouse,” Then, the door opened.

Bucky froze. There, standing in the doorway with a pistol in her hand and a fire in her eyes, was a woman he thought long dead: you. This couldn’t be right! He had killed you back in ‘02 with the rest of the AAHR...

You quirked up an eyebrow at Zemo.

“Give me one reason I should let you in and not shoot you on the spot,”

They were so fucked.

________________

The day, on your end of the world, had gone by much slower.

It started off like any other, with the alarm on your bedside table blaring as you opened your eyes and your arms reached out into the emptiness in the sheets beside you. Sometimes, when Helmut’s flight got in late enough, you would wake up and reach to the side only to find that he had appeared beside you in the night. Those were the best kind of reunions. They were free of pretense, no bitterness or resentment clouded your sleep-heavy brain when you opened your eyes to his peaceful resting face, and you could simply fall into the comforting rhythm of husband and wife. If you reunited with a clear head things tended not to go as well.

You groaned. It wasn’t as if there was even a guarantee he would come back, especially not after the way you’d left things last time. The philosophy of attendre et espérer, waiting and hoping like an Edmond Dantés type, wouldn’t do you any good, at least not anymore.

Maybe it was time to start moving on…

Tomorrow. You could start thinking about the next steps tomorrow. For today you’d enjoy what you had.

Getting out of bed was difficult but you managed. The sun streamed through the curtains that billowed gently in the breeze near your balconette, brilliant gold beams illuminating the dust that danced in the air. The first thing you did was shuffle along to the corner and pour yourself two fingers of brandy from Helmut’s private collection. It was like a morning ritual these days, a numbing agent against the loneliness. Once the drink was downed you moved on to the closet to get dressed.

Dressing yourself wasn’t of much importance these days. You couldn’t exactly leave the house, and nobody was visiting, so more often than not, it was easier to just wear the same pajamas for a few days until you knew Oeznik would be around to drop off groceries. Today, though, you felt… filthy. Not dirty in a physical way, just sticky and filthy and unclean under your skin and in your very heart. Maybe a shower would help.

You looked around the closet with a clinical eye. It was difficult to be in there, surrounded by lavish dresses and expensive suits that you and your husband had worn arm in arm while plotting the downfall of the Avengers before your unsteady alliance had turned into so much more. Everything still smelled like his cologne. In the small, often-closed, walk-in closet, the scent had only intensified, covering every article of clothing with a fog of cedarwood and sage. It made you sick, choked the air from your lungs and left you gasping for even a single breath that didn’t sit heavy on your tongue with the bitter taste of that familiar musk.

The alcohol had helped. It always did. The remnants of its burn in your mouth formed a sort of guard against the scent of the closet as you searched through a pile of shirts for something soft and easy to wear. Your hands suddenly stilled.

“Zemo, I’m gonna be honest, this is the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen in my entire life,”

“I’m hurt! That’s one of my favorites,”

“Where did you even get it, a 90-year-old grandpa’s closet? Jesus Christ, it looks like something out of a shitty 70’s flick about family values,”

“I’ll have you know that I thrifted that sweater. It’s very eco-conscious you know,”

Your heart hurt. Well, no, your whole body hurt, but your heart ached a little more prominently as you carefully picked up the sweater and held it to your chest. It was terribly ugly, 4 sizes too big even on Helmut and covered in an olive and forest green argyle. Somehow he was always able to pull off the oversized thing no matter how ridiculous you had always insisted you found it. When was the last time he’d worn it again?

The memory evaded you.

Still, it was a happy relic, happier than most of the monuments to a failing marriage that lined the shelves of your beautiful personal prison. It wouldn’t hurt to hope that by wearing it, you might rub just a little bit of that lost happiness off onto your present-day, right? With one last forlorn glance around the closet, you gathered up the sweater and a pair of jeans before getting out as fast as you could. With the scent of cologne clinging to you, the shower wasn’t just a good idea now, it was necessary.

So, you showered. You took the stupid foot-long exfoliating brush Helmut loved so much and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed yourself under the near-boiling stream of water until your skin was pink and raw. Disappointingly, even the new skin felt filthy. It was better, though, less intense. With some lotion and a little bit of Neosporin on the fresh patches of blotchy red, you were able to feel okay. Not good. Not clean. Just… okay. At least you didn’t smell like him anymore. The clock read 12:14 when you finally made it out of the bathroom in search of some real food.

Lunch, if you could call it that, was a silent affair. The fridge was almost empty and the pantry was only a little less bare, so you threw together a cheese sandwich, not even bothering to waste butter and grill it. You ate it plain with another glass of brandy out on the pool deck. It was gone sooner than you hoped it would be.

Oh well.

You finished your brandy with a sigh. Only seven or eight more hours until you could finish your day with a few more drinks and pass out in bed until nine or ten once again. Ah, dreamless sleep. That sounded divine. Now if only you could fathom any non-depressing way to spend the time between sleeping and waking. Swimming was out, the chemicals would burn your freshly eviscerated skin. Playing solitaire for the fourth day in a row sounded like absolute hell on earth. Even watercolors, a usual calming respite from the torturous and neverending monotony of life trapped alone in a house you had no help in stocking, were off the table ever since you’d run out of paper.

Somewhere inside the house, your phone dinged.

The second the sound hit your ears you jumped, dropping your glass and letting it shatter into a thousand tiny shards on the stone of the patio.

Phones were a difficult thing to own for someone who was trying to stay out of the eyes of the government. They were too easy to track and could tip off enemies to your location with very little error needed on your part. Even searching the internet for innocent things was too risky. If your search history was too similar to that of the alias you had used before Helmut went to prison, it would have been easy for them to find a connection and send someone to track you down. Still, you kept a cell phone charged and ready on the kitchen counter despite the risk for one reason and one reason only: Emergency contact with your husband.

He never texted from the same number on more than one occasion, always switching from burner phone to burner phone as he flew across the country doing god knows what, but if he was ever in a situation where emergency contact with you was needed, he was able to reach you at your number immediately. It had only happened a couple of times, and each time he had been in a considerable amount of danger. So, when you suddenly heard the sound you dreaded more than anything else in the world, you were quick to rush inside, even ignoring the shattered glass at your feet as you shoved through the doors and found the phone.

The small, LED display was lit up with the notification. It made your heart both soar and sink.

Flying home with two guests. Prepare the two rooms for their stay. We will be there by 5 at the latest - B

You read over the message several times before letting the phone fall from your hand and back onto the counter with a dull thud.

That absolute asshole.

Three months. Three months you had spent sitting alone. Three months without a call, or a text, or a letter, or even a word of when he was coming back by way of Oeznik. Three months! And after three months of loneliness and sleepless nights and empty bottles on the drink cart he reaches out through an emergency line of contact that almost certainly means he might be dying only to tell you he’s bringing two strangers into your safe house, the place even he refuses to stay in too long in order to not give its location away. The scar on your spine was starting to burn as you leaned up against the counter and cried.

It was ridiculous to think you had ever believed him capable of more tact than that.

Really, it was your fault. From the beginning, you’d had too much faith in a man incapable of being trustworthy, even to those closest to him. You knew that, and yet you had married him. Maybe the soft touches and sweet lies he had spoon-fed you had made you weak. Maybe you always had been.

“I’m not a child, Helmut, I know what I’m doing!”

“I don’t think you do,” he shouted. He was a few drinks in now, you both were. The nights before his departures never tended to end well when you both drank. “Because no matter what I do to protect you, you have the need to disobey me! Have you considered that I do the things I do for your own good!”

“Oh! Oh yes, the things YOU do!” You slammed your glass down on the table as you stormed over to Helmut, “I sit here all day like a fucking dog in a cage while you fly to fucking Ibiza and flirt with supermodels, but YOUR story is just so fucking tragic! I’m your wife, Helmut! I’m not an animal or your property, I’m your goddamn wife! You can’t just order me to sit and stay like a dog,”

He glared down at you, eyes hawkish and glinting in the low lamplight. For the first time in years, he looked threatening, “You may not be a dog, or a child, or my property, but you are a weapon! It’s my job to keep you here, away from the-”

“Excuse me?” You interrupted. The two of you stood, inches away and yet miles apart. Slowly, the drive in Helmut’s eyes faltered. “Say that again. I dare you,”

“Schatz, I-”

“No, Helmut, you meant it so say it again. Call me that again. I fucking dare you,” Tears were streaming down your face now. He took a step towards you, hand extended to wipe them away, but you were quick to take a step back out of his reach.

“You misunderstood me,”

“I don’t think there was anything to misunderstand,”

You swept the shards of your glass tumbler into a dustpan, hands still shaking even ten minutes after you’d read Helmut’s message to you. As you worked, your last conversation before he’d left echoed in your mind.

How had it all devolved into that? It wasn’t hard to remember Helmut before prison, jaded and broken and lonely. He had been so much like you and yet so different. Each of you seemed to be the perfect balm for the others' wounds. In the end, despite all of his flaws, you had found yourself in love. Now that he was a different man, was that love gone? You couldn’t say. All you knew for sure was that you weren’t nearly drunk enough to be facing the confusing feelings in your brain. With the last of your energy, you emptied the dustpan of glass into the trash can and returned to the house, sweater itchy against your irritated skin, to ready the guest rooms.

The job wasn’t a long one. You had never used the guest rooms in all the time you’d spent at the Avignon property, so the sheets were already clean. There was just a thin layer of dust on the furniture that needed to be swept away as you checked to make sure the dressers were bare and the bathrooms were stocked with amenities. Then, when that was done, you were left to your thoughts as the hours ticked by.

Most of the time you spent sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing. It sounded terrible, and in all honesty it was, but what else could you do? The house was already spotless so cleaning wasn’t an option, and you didn’t quite feel like doing much of anything as you stared at the clock and tried to remember a time when your life was less of a disaster. As it got closer to five, though, you started to get antsy.

You had tried your best to not think about the obvious issue of the guests. Zemo was not the type to threaten his home, even if he wasn’t happy with you, so usually having anyone who wasn’t Oeznik or another paid lackey aware of the location of your safe house would be a big no in his book, but then you started thinking of the implications of him bringing people into your home. Your home, not his. Was he on his way to kill you? It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Or maybe he was bringing your replacement.

Now that thought made anger bubble up in your throat. You were no stranger to the idea that when your husband was away, he could be doing anything. There was no guarantee when he slept in lavish hotels or drank the night away in elite lounges that he kept his wedding ring on. The fact that there were two guests meant it was unlikely he was bringing two mistresses, but never impossible. Nothing was impossible when it came to Helmut.

No, it was more likely he had finally decided it was time to end your suffering. The shouts and boisterous laughter that started to sound directly outside of the front room window only confirmed the for you. Slowly, you crept towards the door and grabbed a small pistol from its place in the umbrella stand. If he wanted you dead you weren’t going to go without a fight.

Through the curtains on the front door, you could just barely make out the trio. When you saw them your blood ran cold. It was one thing if he needed help to take you down, but getting the Winter Soldier on board? Your rage only grew by the minute.

Helmut said something, probably planning the best course of action to catch you off guard, and you sneered. Two could play at that game. When he knocked on the door you opened it calmly and held the gun with your finger just barely ghosting over the trigger.

Everyone froze.

“Give me one reason I should let you in and not shoot you on the spot,” you said, rage coursing through every nerve in your body. You may have been in retirement for quite a few years, but you still knew how to handle a gun. Everyone there, except maybe the Falcon, knew that. As Zemo went to open his mouth, you prepared for a firefight.

“Because I brought you flowers,”

-------------

a/n: Sorry that only one chapter is out! The fic is just getting very long and complicated and I wanted to make sure you got as much as possible before the next episode drops lol. I’ll be working pretty much nonstop from now until then, though, so the next parts should be out soon!

TAGLIST: @tatestripedsweater​ , @elaineygrace​, @multiyfandomgirl40​ ,  @lovelymischief​ , @rami-malek-trash​ , @dazzlingseb​, @avgravy​ , @sarahsilver , @wh0re-4-techno​ , @forcebros​ , @sugarsweetkiss​ , @grandmuffinsharkbailiff​ , @killsandthrills​ , @novasstudy​ , @thnksfr-ptrkstmp​ , @inmate-marmalade​, @alanathedeer​ , @mossybank​ , @simsiddy​ , @xxspqcebunsxx​ 

Please do not post my work on other sites, thank you!

[blisschi]

i've been blessed bliss' requests are open 👁️👄👁️

would hurt-comfort with kaeya be ok? maybe them saying something they don't mean to reader/reader thinking he was gonna hit them? (because he's tired or they're arguing?)

- 🔪 (at this point i might as well be known as the karya simp anon)

Hello 🔪 nonnie! There's nothing bad about simping for Kaeya, I do the same with Zhongli!

I'm not quite sure if all I wrote in the scenario makes sense.. but I went a little overboard with it and it turned out way longer than I expected.👉👈

Either way, I hope you like it! 🌼🌿🍃

🌱Trust me🌱

Pairing: Kaeya x GN! Reader

Warnings: Hurt to comfort, jealousy,,

Notes: Reader just wants time with their lover, okay?? QwQ

Lately it's been pretty hard for the cavarly captain. Kaeya all of his days spent at work, either training knights or doing paperwork in his office.

It's only natural that you became suspicious because of the time he was getting home, usually after midnight.

Kaeya could see that you are being irritated, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. Coming back home from work, exhausted, all he could think about was just laying down with you and resting.

But you didn't really believe any of his words when he tried to explain he's been all day at work. Some time before, you caught your partner sneaking at night to Angel's Share, and from that time it was difficult to believe he was doing anything else. Even when he swore not to do it again without your aknowledge.

You just didn't want him to get in trouble, was being honest in a relationship that much to ask?

The other reason you were worried about, was of course that he might be meeting with someone else. You wanted to trust him, you really did, but how can you when Kaeya is avoiding to answer?

He is a handsome man, you were sure that many girls/boys dreamt about being in your place. You knew Kaeya, he liked flirting with people. You hated it, even though he assured you any of the words he's telling to others isn't true, you were scared.

Scared of losing him. Afterall, it's normal in a relationship.

You were at the edge of snapping when on the streets, you saw your partner with a girl, that seemed unusually affectionate towards him.

You wanted to walk up to him right then and there, but you decided to wait for him at home, giving him a last chance for explanation.

It was already far past midnight, yet you didn't feel like going to sleep at all. You needed to know, what exactly is Kaeya doing all those days.

You were sitting in the living room, arms crossed as you stared in front of yourself, repeating the words you wanted to tell him.

In few minutes, you heard the door opening, and you were more than ready to finally confront your partner. You waited for him to enter the room then got up and blurted out a simple question.

"You have five minutes to tell me what are you doing so late at work for almost a month now."

Your glare cold, concentrated on his face, as he let out a loud sigh and lifted up his hands in defense.

"Darling, I told you I'm having a rough time right now-"

"Don't call me like that!" You raised your voice, earning a surprised look from your lover. You were beyond mad at this point. You were ready to just tell him to pack his stuff and get out off your vision. "I saw you with a girl today. Do you perhaps call her 'darling' too?"

Kaeya looked surprised. However, after few seconds he smiled lightly and took a few steps towards you, shaking his head.

"You're jealous.~ Honey, the girl I was talking today was a knight-"

"I don't care if she was a knight or not! Do you think I'm stupid?!" You snapped, tears appearing in your eyes as you couldn't keep the calm expression anymore, no matter how hard you tried. Your heart ached to believe him. "Give me one good reason not to end this relationship right now and here."

His smile disappeared as fast as appeared when he realized that the situation is more serious than expected. He sighed once again and closed his eyes, visibly irritated by your behavior.

"We already talked about this, didn't we? You still don't believe me, do you?" Kaeya asked, his gaze more intense than usual. He was tired of always being accused by you. "I was working. Jean gives me a ridiculous amount of paperwork lately, and om top of that I have to train the newbies-"

"Of course! I'm sure that 'work' you're doing must be way more entertaining than me!"

"Are you even hearing yourself, [Y/N]?!"

You flinched when you heard your name. He never really called you like that, as he chose to give you cute nicknames. You just weren't used to being called differently.

He grabbed your wrist firmly, earning a gasp from you as he pressed you against the wall, glare cold as ice.

"What do I need to do for you to believe me?! Do you want me to lose the rank because of your fucking jealousy?!"

"N-no! I-I just want you to be a little more honest with me-"

"Quiet!" This time was Kaeya's turn to raise his voice. He really didn't wish to argue with you, but he was just so tired after this day. He was tired of your endless accusations towards him.

You lowered your head and sobbed quietly as you couldn't hold back your tears anymore.

"I-I'm sorry.." You whispered quietly, avoiding the eyecontact.

Kaeya widened his eyes and let go of your wrist quickly, coming back to his senses.

"I-I just miss you so much.. I don't want someone he steal you.." You continued, making him sigh and cup your cheeks softly, examining your expression. Eyes full of tears, lips shaky as if you wanted to hold back all the sobs held inside for a month of his absence.

Kaeya sighed softly and wrapped his arms around you, embracing you. Your face pressed against his chest as he stroked your hair carefully.

"My apologies.. I'm sorry." He said after a while, kissing the top of your head. "I'll try taking a day off or two, hm?"

You sniffed quietly and pulled back a little, to look up at his face before letting out a quiet 'really?'

He smiled softly and placed a kiss against your forehead.

"Trust me."

[stargazing-dreamer-girl]

You & I

Requested by anon: ��Could I get a Luke Patterson x reader where the reader is able to see Luke, Reggie, nd Alex. The only difference from julie is that she can make contact w/them.”

A/N: I rewrote this a bunch of times actually because it never really worked out but here is this xD just some Luke fluff

Pairing: Luke Patterson x female!reader

WC: 1.6k

“Luke!” You spun around with your hand on your chest begging your racing heart to calm down. Luke had scared you by just appearing behind you. “What the fuck?! You can’t scare me like that, it’s bad for my health!” you complained, turning back to your locker. There were already people looking at you because of your outcry and you didn’t want to raise more attention.

“I just came to see you. Is it really that bad that I missed my amazing, beautiful girlfriend who I haven’t seen in way too long?” He leaned against the locker next to yours dramatically, his gaze never leaving you. He gently reached out to your wrist playing with the guitar charm on your bracelet. It had been a gift from him. Well, he asked Julie for help since he couldn’t purchase anything given the fact that he was a ghost, but he was the one who chose what to get you and Julie bought it for him. Now, you never took it off.

You chuckled at his theatrics. “We just saw each other yesterday,” you reminded him. You had been over at Julie’s to help her with some homework which resulted in the two of you spending time in the garage with the boys and not getting a lot of stuff done. Instead, you had talked, played some music and joked around. A good alternative to studying in your eyes.

“That doesn’t count!” He pouted. “You were there for Julie, not for me. When was the last time we spend time together, just the two of us?” The question caught you off-guard. It had indeed been a little while ago. Way too long, you thought. Somehow someone was always around, whether it be Alex and Reggie, Julie, Flynn or even your parents. Although your parents were oblivious to Luke’s presence, it was like they knew when he was in your room, so they would barge in to interrupt. Or they would call when you were out, needing you to come home immediately or do something for them right away. Whenever you tried to do something together, someone always seemed to intervene.

“You’re right.” You sighed, looking over at him, but you turned right back towards your locker when you realized there was another person at their locker right behind to Luke. You wouldn’t want them to think you were talking to them. Luckily, they didn’t pay you much attention. You tried to look busy by reorganizing your books. When you spoke again it was in a quiet voice. “I hate that we weren’t able to be together without anyone else around. It feels like the universe is trying to keep us apart or something.” You laughed, playing your statement off as a joke, but it was a thought that had occurred to you many times before. Being in a relationship with a ghost was… It was great, actually. You loved Luke and he loved you and there wasn’t a human alive on Earth that you had a similar connection with than you had with Luke, but there was always Flynn’s nagging voice in your head reminding you that he was a literal ghost. He was not alive. And how could this ever be something real, if you were alive and he was not?

But it didn’t feel like that to you. You were able to see Luke, to touch him. He was just like any other boy to you in those regards. Sometimes when you were alone with him you even forgot that he was a ghost. You’d be harshly reminded of it again when someone would walk through him or he would walk through something or when he would teleport out of wherever you’d be. Your logical brain, backed up by Flynn, would tell you that it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right to be in a relationship with a ghost, but your heart? Your heart told you that you loved Luke. It didn’t care about what the future would hold. It cared about the here and now, the moments you shared.

Luke could read the troubling thoughts that were on your mind from your face, your furrowed brows and pursed lips a dead giveaway. He leaned towards you. Determination written across his face. “Let’s get out of here!” He grabbed your hand and pulled you away, closing your locker in the process. You tried to keep up with him, so it wouldn’t look like you were being pulled by thin air. The idea of skipping class and spending time with Luke instead actually sounded great. You’d rather do almost anything with him right now than stay in that building and fight your way through three more classes. And the chance was slim that you’d get interrupted since Julie and Flynn were still at school, your parents at work and what Reggie and Alex were up to you didn’t know.

“Studio or my house?” you asked to check where you’d be going.

“Reggie might be hanging out at the studio, so let’s go to your house,” he answered. His hand still firmly held onto yours. “What’s on your mind?” he followed up when he noticed your focus on your intertwined hands.

“I’m just grateful, I guess, that I get to see you and touch you.” You gently squeezed his hand. You did that a lot, especially with your friends around. It was a subtle way to show your affection or to reassure each other of your presence. “I don’t know how it came to be that it is this way, but I’m really glad.” You smiled at him.

When you arrived at your house Luke immediately went to your living room couch and made himself comfortable while you put your bag away in your room. “Do you want to watch a movie?” You asked when you joined him. Without waiting for a reply, you grabbed the remote to pull up a movie on Netflix as you sat down next to him, but that wasn’t good enough for Luke. He always held back around the others because he knew it might make them uncomfortable, but he loved holding you, touching you, having you close, so he pulled you in to lie against his side, an arm securely wrapped around your waist. You rested your head on his shoulder still looking for something to watch. “What kind of movie are you in the mood for?”

“Just put on something you like. I probably won’t know it anyway.” That wasn’t a big help, but after a bit more contemplation decided on one. It was a movie you already knew by heart and thought Luke might like as well. But what movie was playing wasn’t of much importance anyways. The way Luke was holding you close, pressing kisses onto the top of your head from time to time, that was what mattered. His thumb kept caressing your side. With the noises from the movie playing in the background your eyelids grew heavy and it wasn’t long until you fell asleep.

Luke noticed it immediately when you fell asleep. You were leaning further into him and your hand had fallen from where it was lying on top of his. He carefully moved to lie down on the couch so as to not wake you up. When he was done your eyes were still closed and your breaths even, still, you seemed to cuddle into him even more in your sleep. Luke couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you at the sight. He was aware that you thought it was creepy when he watched you sleep but he liked doing it. There was nothing to disturb him from taking in all your features, to memorize every little thing about you.

He let you sleep for an hour before he decided it was time to wake you by pressing kisses all over your face. You scrunched up your face at the sensation, your sleep-induced mind barely registering what was happening. When you finally opened your eyes, Luke was smiling at you. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he whispered before he bent down again to connect your lips.

“What time is it?”, you asked him, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you slowly sat up.

“Almost 2pm,” he answered after checking your phone.

“Already?!” you exclaimed, now awake. “Why did you let me sleep? You gotta go to practice soon! I thought we wanted to do stuff together today.”

“I do. And I let you sleep because it looked like you needed it. Anyways, technically we did spend time together.”

You eyed him suspiciously. “Did you watch me sleep again?”

He already moved away from you, bringing some distance between the two of you in case you would resort to chugging a pillow at him at his answer. A cheeky smile appeared on his face as he pulled his shoulders up. “Maybe.”

You sighed frustratedly. “Please, don’t do that. It feels so weird to know you watch me sleep. Like, what if I drool?”

“You do,” he laughed, moving closer again. He leaned over the back of the couch to gently grab your chin and wipe over it with his thumb. “But it’s cute.” The grin never left his face while you swatted his hand away, pouting.

You groan. “You’re the worst.”

“But you love me,” he continued with a cocky grin which had you roll your eyes.

“I do. Even though I do wonder why sometimes.” You pulled him back towards you to kiss him again, smiling into the kiss. “And now come cuddle with me until you have to go to band practice.” You opened your arms. Luke happily accepted the invitation, jumped over the back of the couch and lay down beside you. With his head resting on your chest and your fingers carding through his hair he let out a sigh and relaxed into your embrace.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled lazily.

[thebadboyfanclub]

That’s My Girl (Emmett x Reader)

This was requested by an anon and it did hit home a bit since I’ve struggled with body image issues since I was 13 and it does take a lot on finding a balance and it’s a long and painful process. Enjoy!

T.W+ Statement. I am in no way, shape or form taking lightly the case of body image issues that will be mentioned on this imagine, it is a real struggle and so many people suffer because of it, I’m just trying to bring some light and show what I think the said character would do at this particular scenario

(Y/n) was always the bigger one of her family, weighted more than her sisters and wore two sizes bigger than her sisters, yet her sisters were the only people that had her back. Her own mother made it a mission to bring up calories and carbs every time she saw her eat something.

As she entered her teen years, things started to change and grow bigger and in her classmates eyes... uglier, fatter. She was bullied a lot and also quietly, she felt like even if she did speak to her parents they would take their side and tell her to do some extra workouts.

Eventually she did, she worked out more and counted calories and fasted, even had a few trips to the bathroom, anything that would work and get the weight of her body and her shoulders. It became a vicious cycle, she would gain and lose and do the same stuff all over again. Until she met Emmett, his face was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes after fainting in the schools parking lot. Edward had warned him about your thoughts of feeling dizzy and thinking “get to the car” over and over again.

“Welcome back pretty lady”

It sounded corny, yet it was one of the sweetest things she had ever heard. She smiled at the best of her abilities and started looking around, slowly realizing what had occurred

“Don’t worry, no one saw”

“Except the entire school, this is so embarrassing”

As she got back up on her feet as fast as she could, darkness engulfed her for a second, a second was enough for her knees to go weak and fall into Emmett’s arms, who was more than lucky to have her there, her short and delicate human body brought him anxiety he hadn’t felt in... decades.

“Sorry about that”

“No don’t  apologize, you are my damsel in distress”

“Really? then how should I repay you?”

“A date might make up for my heroic act”

-

Since then they had been a couple, she didn’t really have a choice since Emmett would show up everywhere and help her do anything and everything, he had even endured 2 hours waiting at the hair salon for her. 

(Y/n) was on cloud 9, finally a man that treated her like she had only seen in her movies and cared for her. Also the fact that he was extremely handsome was a big bonus, as well as a source of anxiety for her appearance, she was so overwhelmed by her new relationship that she had not seen that she had gained a bit of “relationship weight”, for her though this was a disaster. In her mind she was already overweight, this just was the cherry on top to her maliciously rude mind.

“Babe are you ready yet?”

“5 more minutes”

Emmett was getting a bit suspicious. She had been in there throwing clothes around the room, groaning and grunting for almost 2 hours, (y/n) would usually be ready once he was there, she hated not being on time. 

She hated this, nothing fitted her the way it was supposed to, she looked fat and ugly into every single outfit, nitpicking herself apart in every single piece of clothing. She was basically tip toeing around a mental breakdown, just as she was about to zip up yet another pair of jeans she heard her bedroom door open and reveal a concerned Emmett.

“Get out I said I’m not ready”

As he closed the door he looked around and took in the chaos that was her room right now, (y/n) was usually very tidy so this couldn’t mean anything good.

“I know that’s why I came in, what’s going on baby girl?”

“I have no clothes that’s what’s going on”

“Weird, I could swear I see some right there on your bed”

He tried to make a light joke that didn’t really get a great crowd reaction out of it. As (Y/n) ran around to find a shirt Emmett stood there looking at her, trying to piece things together and maybe find a way to help her.

“If you want maybe I can Alice to bring you a few pieces”

“Alice is s literal model, I will tear anything she has”

She snapped back at him. He was stepping on shaky ground and felt helpless, something that (y/n) quickly realized that she had created. She let out a deep sigh and placed her fingers on her temples, slightly massaging them

“I’m sorry, I’m just... stressed”

“About what? talk to me”

Emmett took a step and sat down on her bed, waiting for his girlfriend to come and take a seat on his lap. As she instinctively did exactly that she tried to keep some of her weight by keeping herself on her toes. Emmett didn’t even think twice about placing her entire weight on him and bringing her close to his chest.

“Do you think I’m fat?”

“What? what are you talking about?”

“I just... I am so much bigger than Alice and Bella and let’s not even go to Rosalie, they are all like... stick status and I’m just this cow that’s dating a body builder”

Emmet was left stunned, speechless. He could not believe what he was hearing, his true mate, his little delicate human, his short girl that he loved to bring into a hug and feel her getting lost in his big form, was thinking of herself as fat? They couldn’t be talking about the same girl he would pick up like she was a feather and the girl he would worry about eating and being healthy.

“(Y/n) don’t ever say that again, you are beautiful and why does it matter if you are bigger than Bella, I’m bigger than Edward too... are you calling me fat?”

“Noooo”

“Yes, yes you are. I knew it that you would leave me for someone thinner”

“Stop, I’m being serious”

“Look baby as long as I can throw you over my shoulder I will see nothing wrong with you”

His response did make her feel better but it wasn’t all fixed up, it didn’t work like that. Although it did feel nice to hear him say those things. Emmett leaned in to steal a sweet little kiss from her lips in hopes to make her feel better and comfort her the best he could.

“You are my perfect small girlfriend, I bet you look like a toothpick standing next to me. In all seriousness I have never and I will never see anything wrong with your body, you are perfect”

She smiled at him as she let her head rest on his shoulders, letting his words sink in and process them. He truly embodied everything she wanted in a boyfriend, he respected her and appreciated her to the max.

“Now, what to do you think about wearing a nice outfit and going to the movies with me?”

“Alright”

“That’s my girl, I’ll wait outside”

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially. 

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in. 

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us. 

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before. 

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself. 

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it. 

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me. 

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges. 

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he’s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good. 

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS. 

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there. 

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it. 

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job. 

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to. 

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about. 

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life. 

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that. 

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this. 

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Trouble ~ J.V.

A/n: I see my Jerome peeps are HERE and I’m LOVING IT! Prompt list here so y’all don’t have to scroll ;) Feel free to request as many as you want for commission or when requests are open again. I LOVE using prompts!!

Request: “...6, 8 with Jerome Valeska” by anon

6: “You are actually Satan, oh my god.”

8: “Wow, I am so in love with you… just wow.”

MASTERLIST

You know how you see someone, and it’s so obvious where they’ll end up that it’s like a scene in your head? It’s never good when this happens, so usually it’s a sad story and you kind of just frown and shake your head and pity the person, but you know that saying anything won’t do you any good so you just sit back and keep your mouth shut and wait for the inevitable end.

That’s how everyone saw Jerome Valeska.

People had never cared about Jerome, though. If they ever had, it was wiped away pretty quickly. Brutally murdering people with no care for who was on what side, who had helped or hurt, or without even a little remorse or pity or hesitation or regret... it was one of those things that most people found to be a bit of a turn off. Those who didn’t were seen to be just as unhinged as Jerome was, so they were dismissed as well.

The thing was, people HAD cared about Y/n. She was one of the most intellectually promising in her entire high school, maybe in all of Gotham. She was the kind of teenager that seemed so very adult. She was respectful and poised and very well controlled. She was pleasant to be around, and even much older people didn’t mind talking to her if they happened to be in the same place. She’d even made some pleasant relationships.

Like the friendship she had with Bruce Wayne.

Through him, she had come to learn about and meet and even get along with everyone Bruce knew. She could get along with anybody she wanted to, without threats or intimidation or groveling. She simply existed, and she had a sort of comforting, approachable presence about her. She wasn’t the least bit threatening, but she was... nice, I guess. Even dangerous people liked her, because she was the only person who didn’t seem to care about power or advantageous interactions or anything like that.

She was just nice to talk to.

This showed most prominently when she talked to people like Edward Nigma, or Oswald Cobblepott, or Silena Kyle. She’d even found herself in situations to talk to Barbara Gordan. Victor Zsasz.

People usually chalked it up to her being quite unlucky.

Because she was so unsuspecting and unproblematic and calm, she turned out to be a really good hostage. She didn’t talk back or lash out, she just sat and behaved and looked at you with a very calm, calculated expression.

Zsasz had run into her when he’d worked for Penguin and had been guarding her so that Oswald could make a deal without worrying about his bargaining chip being compromised. After a while, Y/n had asked how Zsasz’s day was going. They’d had a short, pleasant conversation, leaving the assassin intrigued by the girl when she’d been let go.

Barbara had a similar experience, except it had been when she was in Arkham of all places. Everyone had a weird thing, and very few if any people knew Y/n’s, but even she had one too. Her weird thing was visiting Arkham Asylum every once in a while visiting random people inside it, and then talking to them with the most easy normality. Like they’d been life long friends, or the person she was talking to was completely sane. She never judged or snapped, she just had a neutral expression with a sort of interest in her eyes. She was polite enough that Barbara had entertained the visit, and found herself not totally regretting it afterward.

Oswald had met her when he was mayor. She had dropped by as an errand for Jim Gordon, and had started a casual conversation when Oswald had expected her to leave when thing were handled. At first he’d been suspicious, and he still was if he was honest, but she hadn’t asked any prying questions or tried to get at him from any angle. If he drew a line, she respected it immediately and moved onto something else without missing a beat. When he got uncomfortable, she apologized and wished him a good day before excusing herself. After she’d show up several more times, sometimes sent by Jim, sometimes just to say hello, Oswald eventually relaxed. He didn’t trust her, and she didn’t expect him to, but when she stopped by to say hello he’d have someone bring them tea and they’d have a little chat. He was a little surprised when she didn’t visit him in Arkham, but when they ran into each other a little later, she nodded to him with a little smile and he got the impression she wasn’t angry with him.

As time passed, more and more people who were considered to be Gotham’s worst were coming up with more and more stories of Y/n. The girl who didn’t scream when she walked into a store and saw a dead body, but who’s neutrality wasn’t unsettling as much as it was kind of calming. She had all the makings of a twisted, demented villain, and yet she was the most normal person ever. It was confusing and intriguing, but never distinctly a bad thing. She was well known, and no one had anything bad to say about her. 

It was only a matter of time before Jerome found her.

Not long after he did, he was as taken with her as everyone else. She wasn’t annoying, or unnerved by him. She was in fact endlessly interesting. He thought eventually he would get bored of her complete lack of response to even the most terrible things he told her in an effort to get her going, but found instead that the sort of sparks of interest in her gaze and the small smile that sometimes almost touched her lips was enough to keep him engaged.

She was the exact opposite of him, but in a way that didn’t drive him to want her to be gone. He didn’t WANT to kill her. It was weird, and he was living for it.

Slowly, Y/n stopped showing up in public. She stopped visiting Arkham, and the police department. She stopped running into dangerous people who never seemed to mind seeing her around, even if they weren’t supposed to be seen by anyone. She graduated high school but never talked about college. She just... slowly started to disappear.

It wasn’t as suspicious as it was disappointing. No one could tell where she was going or why all the accidental bump ins were being so carefully removed, but it was leaving the idea in everyone’s head that they might not have been accidents to begin with. Not most of them at least. That was the only thing that it could be, after years and years of her being so very unlucky, only for her to quite suddenly not run into a single soul ever. Even when people sought her out, they couldn’t find her unless she wanted to be found.

She appeared rather suddenly at Jerome’s side one day out of the blue.

No one noticed her behind the line of people in chairs. They were distracted by Jerome talking about his terribly sad past, and the people with explosive collars locked around their necks. Most importantly noted: Bruce Wayne and Jerome’s twin brother, Jeremiah.

It wasn’t until Jerome drew attention to her that anyone even registered her at all. She was so still and quiet that behind all the chaos, she might as well have been invisible.

Jerome was only too enthused to rub it in everyone’s faces.

“You know you don’t like me, and that’s fair. I’m not like any of you, am I? I don’t smile right, and I act weird. Then there’s the whole killing people thing.” He giggled, but the crowd in front of him only looked disgusted. “But is that why you really hate me, Gotham? Because I’m a big ol mean bad guy? Do you hate me because I’m a little unhinged? Because I’m a little loud and hysterical and I scare you? Or do I scare you because I have no problem being very honest and very open with all of the things you people LOVE to push under the rug and hide away and pretend no one can see.” He shook his head. “Because I’ve come to realize there is someone who’s exactly like me, but so much better at playing all of you. So much better at playing innocent and harmless and friendly, and with no real intentions other than to prove how easy you all are. How transparent.” His eyes drifted toward Y/n, and he motioned her forward. Without hesitating, she did take a few steps forward, into the light and right behind Bruce Wayne.

Gasps echoed in the crowd. To everyone’s stunned silence, Y/n stood there with the same calm and reservation she always did. She seemed perfectly unbothered by the dead body inches from her, or the people she had always seemed so close to being in danger. She didn’t look around, trying to gauge a way out, and nothing held her in forced obedience. She just looked at Jerome, that same nice, almost-smile and curiosity dancing in her eyes.

“What-” Bruce looked around, mouth dropping open when he saw who was behind him. “Y/n?”

“Ah yes,” Jerome purred. “Gotham’s little angel. Friend to all. Unassuming and nice and calm and wonderful. Aren’t you just a pillar of perfection, Y/n?” He giggled again, and Y/n tilted her head, her smile growing a little,

For the first time ever, Y/n was unnerving. Seeing her of all people look dangerous was so upsetting that the crowd started to step down from their anger towards Jerome and were edging toward true fear. If she could end up being bad, who else could? If even the bets of them could be corrupted, and even the most deranged mind could act completely normal, how could anyone ever tell when people were dangerous anymore?

It could be anyone. Anyone they trusted. Anyone they knew. Anyone they’d talked to long enough to decide they were safe. Because Bruce Wayne had known Y/n best of anyone in Gotham, and even he looked as stunned as everyone felt. He had spent copious amounts of time with her, including for hours straight during school hours, and even he had not on any level or in any way seen anything like this coming.

“Y/n?” Bruce whispered.

Y/n met his gaze. “Yes?”

He wasn’t sure what to ask her. “What’s going on?” is what he settled on.

She shrugged, as if they were catching up after school. During tea time maybe, after having not seen each other recently. “Nothing much. I’m observing and learning. People are so intriguing Bruce, have you ever noticed? I’ve learned so much. All I ever had to do was be polite, and everyone would let me sit there as long as I wanted and observe them. You learn so much by watching people, but even more from talking to them. And they always let me. All I had to do was let them talk. I never lied. I never pushed. I was respectful and curious, and they responded so well. I’ve come to learn that even the most suspicious people feel the loneliness of humanity. They crave to be wanted. To looked at. All I had to do was show interest, and they thrived under that attention. You really have to do so little for people to like you. It’s so interesting.”

Bruce’s eyes had been widening as she spoke. She said it all like she was observing humanity in a way that she wasn’t apart of it. “You’re like us, aren’t you?”

“Oh of course,” she agreed. “That’s the thing. I wanted to understand myself, so I looked at those like me. And those unlike me. To see what was and wasn’t me. To see what was similar and what was so very completely different.” She chuckled softly and Bruce felt sick to his stomach. “I never expected to find someone so very similar to me to be someone seen the eyes of everyone else as exactly opposite. Jerome and I? Very much the same, except I’d rather learn than act. I never really cared about people’s opinions or if they didn’t like me or if they were mean. I was too unassuming for bullying or abuse. I didn’t care if people looked over me like Jerome does, and that’s really the only difference. I just wanted to learn, and people were always willing to let me.” She shrugged. “But people are so simple. So easy to understand. MUCH more straight forward than any of them would like to admit. I think I’m going to be staying with Jerome from now on. He’s interesting. He understands.”

Jeremiah knew who she was only by association, and even he was surprised, despite having known Jerome very close up for so long. He supposed it wasn’t fault, but watching Bruce, he wondered if he’d even been able to tell her true nature. Even now she looked completely normal and safe. Her eyes were full of life, and she was fairly attractive. The way she stood was relaxed and the way she talked was completely normal. What was upsetting about her was not that she was obviously messed up. It was that she was so painfully normal in even a situation that should have been quite upsetting.

“You’re a sociopath,” Jeremiah offered in a sort of leveled voice. Her eyes turned to him and he realized that her calmness was contagious. She had the look of someone you could just... fall into. So easy to trust. Even now he found himself a little lured by her. She was honest about who she was. She didn’t hide anything. She was just quiet, and people forgot to ask. That wasn’t her fault. Maybe she could still be saved from his deranged brother.

“Yes,” Y/n agreed, and her complete acceptance of that didn’t sit well with Jeremiah. “Would you like me to show you? I have come to learn that everyone wants some sort of proof of it. They have a hard time believing me.”

“No that’s okay,” Jeremiah rushed to reassure just as Jerome squealed, “Yes please!”

Between the two opposite reactions from the two very opposite twins, Bruce got the idea of what her kind of proof might mean. “Don’t worry Y/n, we believe you.”

She nodded, and the two boys thought that’d be the end of it. But then she pulled an actual gun out of seemingly nowhere, pointed it at the crowd, and shot without even hesitating. There went up a scream as people scattered, revealing the body of a woman bleeding out on the ground. The bullet had hit someone around her neck and no one could do anything other than give her and themselves plenty of room away from her.

Jerome squealed with excitement.

Bruce looked at Y/n with horror. “I said we believed you! You didn’t have to kill her!”

“But I did,” Y/n decided. “Because they didn’t believe me.” Her lips turned up into a stronger smile. There was no regret or hesitation in her eyes, and Bruce felt dread slowly settle throughout his body. She WAS exactly like Jerome and the only reason this was her first kill is because she’d decided to wait until now to kill someone. They’d all been at her mercy this entire time, like a mouse held down by a mouse trap. Except they’d been perfectly fine just sitting in her trap and letting her watch with mild interest as they died.

She was just like Jerome.

One of the other people in line spat, “You’re actually Satan, oh my god.” His eyes were wide and Bruce got the idea that if he hadn’t been held by the explosive collar, he might have bolted. “You let all of us trust you and welcome you and be around you. You gained our trust, and you don’t even care about us?”

Very calmly, Y/n simply shook her head. “We’re all just meat. Do you care about the animals scientists test on to give you your makeup products and medicine? Do you care about the pig killed for its meat, or the dogs that rip each other apart in the streets for entertainment and money? We’re just animals. You guys have just gotten the idea stuck in your head for some reason that we’re special animals. You won’t admit those animals will eat you just as quickly as you will them. Pigs have high intelligence. You think you’re gods because you have the highest intelligence and then ignore how you so easily ignore what you know and do what you want instead. You give into nature just like any predator. I have simply stopped being either. I’m not villain. I’m not a hero. And you think the people who watch the villain are a different category, but they’re not. They do nothing, and bad thing happen, and that’s it. A woman died, and people didn’t do anything to stop it. There’s a whole crowd of people not held here by anything other than a secret, sick fascination with the terrible things happening here. You are just as bad as Jerome. Just as bad as me. You just refuse to admit it. I don’t. That’s all.”

Grinning, Jerome sat forward in his chair. “Wow I am so in love with you.” He giggled and everyone in the area cringed. The idea of Jerome Valeska being involved like that with Y/n... And the way she seemed to not mind it either. On top of everything else that had happened here, it was so viscerally upsetting. Jerome stood, moving behind the people in chairs to gently grab Y/n’s face, pulling her lips against his. When he pulled away, everyone’s face had gone scaringly pale. “Just, wow,” the red head whispered. 

Y/n seemed to consider that. “You know, I think I have some sort of care for you. Like... like how someone explained a pet to me. Is that how affection feels?” She still looked only curious. It made sense that in a world who didn’t care to learn about people like her, and after a lifetime of holding back her questions and lack of understanding, even after all this time she still would be confused about the different way she experienced relationships with other people.

Jerome shrugged. “I think not, but I can be your pet if you want.”

Y/n smiled. “I think I do want that.”

A victorious smile adorned Jerome’s face. “That’s all I needed!” He turned to face his brother and Bruce Wayne again. “See, I was so stuck on you two. I died wanting to kill Brucie, and I’ve lived my entire life wanting to kill my dear brother, so I lived for nothing else. I thought of nothing else. I existed to end you two. But now, I have a different purpose. There is nothing like looking at someone you find so very interesting and them returning that back to you.” He giggled. “Mom always said I’d never find love. Aren’t you proud of me for proving her wrong?”

“This isn’t love,” Bruce snapped. “It’s demented. You can’t feel love. Neither of you can.”

“Maybe not,” Y/n agreed. “But it will be fun testing that.” She turned and walked off the stage, heading back and disappearing.

Jerome sighed. “And that’s my cue.” There was a gun shot and a sharp pain in his hand as the detonator fell out of his hands. He could no longer explode the necklaces. He made an ‘oopsie’ sort of expression before ducking away as another gunshot run out. “See you around, you two!” His laughter echoed as he disappeared after Y/n, fading away too quickly.

By the time Jim Gordon chased after Jerome, it was far passed too late. Whatever Y/n had done to ensure their escape, it had left no traces. They were gone.

Behind them, they left death and the lingering feeling in the air like this was only the beginning to a very, very terrible love story.

[opaljm]

not gonna lie, but i liked you better when you were just doing your own little thing on tumblr. youre hybrid stories were so good and your hades!taehyung story was so promising. but now instead of writing and posting fics- literally where is eye of the tiger it's been more than a year since you teased it and where is turbulent part three?! your becoming a shooter for people that dont even like you as much as you like them. why do you hype up hantaev and chateautae when they never hype you up naia. i dont think they've ever read a single thing by you either. naia their never gonna become your bsfs and its pathetic to see you keep trying 💀 you should just write and post your fics (you know the ones that we ACTUALLY WANT) why did you even release yours truly. just give us eott youve had more than a year to work on it i dont get it. the more you draw it out the less people will care when you finally post it.

Um wow. Okay so, my readers know I have a policy of not answering hate asks and in general the treatment I get from my readers is so good and so pure and I'm always grateful for it but it seems like this motherfucker wants to ruin that relationship, but you know what? I have thick skin and I don't even know if you're actually one of my readers or you're one of those toxic anons that @hantaev and @chateautae have, that decided to come over here and bother me now.

The reasons why I'm suspicious whether or not you're even one of my followers or just fine combed my blog to find ways to hurt me is because I have actually explicitly stated why there is no Turbulent part 3 yet (It's a drabble series that I work on when I have inspiration for it or when I am not working on other works. But I literally have so many WIPs right now. All my readers know that Turbulent is the least of my priorities and they're so respectful of that).

And when it comes to Eye of the Tiger, I've literally stated that I've lost over 20k words of the fic when the file got corrupted and that actually put me into a slump and not want to write that fic anymore. Since then I've decided to completely rework the plot into something that I would want to write again. I had made it into a chaptered form before changing it back to a one-shot. It's even on my list of WIPs for this year. But let's assume for a second that you actually have read my stories and you're not a random anon from the depths of hell. Congratulations! You have delayed Eye of the Tiger for everyone. I was going to work on it next month but now it looks like everyone is going to have to wait until August at earliest. I also don't care if you think that Eye of the Tiger's anticipation is going to die down and no one ends up reading it when I finally do post it. It's not like you have clairvoyance and can see the future.

Now moving onto you insulting Yours, Truly and saying no one wants it. Anon, just because you love Taehyung to the alarming degree that you keep harassing creators for their Taehyung fics just cuz it's not set to your specification or whatever the fuck does not mean that everyone else is such a rabid crazy Taehyung stan. It literally makes no sense for me to put more importance onto your opinion of Yours, Truly over the hundreds of people who have reblogged and hearted it and even asked to be on the tag list. Not to toot my own horn but I really like Yours, Truly and I wish you would open your eyes so you could enjoy it like everyone else. Except I don't know that I want someone like you on my page so 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you don't like Yours, Truly and won't be able to bother me about it in the future.

I left this for last because it's literally so stupid that I even have to address this. Anon, I don't think you realize this but Hads and Sammy are friends in real life, they are the type of friends that talk every day, facetime and text, and send each other presents. Not only that but they are also the same age. IN contrast, I am... get this... their online friend. I am not as deeply involved in their lives as they are in each others lives. And you know what that's perfectly fine and I'm okay with it, maybe one day it'll turn into something IRL maybe not, it's cool we're chilling either way. Also, I can't believe I even have to say this but anon do you realize that Sammy and Hads are both 19 and I am 23? I'm actually rubbing my forehead right now because there is literally no situation where it's normal or acceptable for a 23 year old to be jealous of a relationship that two 19 year olds have with each other. I just treat them like my little babies that I'm so so proud of.

If you think I'm trying too hard to be their friends, I feel like you genuinely have never seen people act kindly towards others without expecting anything in return. It literally costs me nothing to interact with them and brighten up their days. Also maybe it's my age but I'm not insecure about whether or not my mutuals read my fics or constantly reblog and promote it. We are all so busy I'm never going to ever demand that from someone. Sammy and Hads don't demand anything from me either. How can you say Hads as never read anything by me when she's listed as the beta reader of Yours, Truly (yet another reason why I think you have never read it but are just insulting it because you can)? Sammy has given me private updates of how much she's enjoyed my work. Just because she or Hads never posted a review for YOU to see on multiple works doesn't mean that they don't read and support my stuff. And it's so weird that you're claiming that about them but you're not holding me to the same standard? The last time I reviewed one of Sammy's Maybe I Do chapters was probably for chapter 4 but I've privately been keeping her updated on my progress with reading her fic. I haven't even read Hads' Before Dawn yet. But you know what? It's fine. We're all okay with it and we don't have insecurities like that, we understand that we will all read and support each other's fics when we can and when we're free. I feel like as you get older you realize that friendship is not just what you can physically show off to others its more so all the ways you can be there for someone. I thank Allah that Sammy, Hads, and I are all so much more understanding than you are and that there is not even an ounce of toxicity in our relationship.

Lastly, maybe I'm not jealous of Sammy and Hadiyah being best friends because I have my own best friends? @vivian146 is literally the light of my life and we're going on strong for almost 7 years 😭😭😭

[sserpente]

A/N: I’m baaaack! This Imagine was requested by @procrastinatinglikeabitch, @fandom-rpblog, @sparxgal and three anons!

Words: 4003 Warnings: smut, more or less, angst and fluff

Your heart leaped into your throat when Loki entered the room, the empty space between you instantly filling with sexual tension and unspoken words when his blue eyes met yours. He gazed at you intently for a moment before making his way over to the large dining area where Thor was already sat drinking a huge pint.

Disappointed, though you could not put your finger on why, your own eyes wandered back to your phone. It was better this way, you kept reminding yourself. Loki was too much of a distraction. Sooner or later, you would get yourself in danger—or worse, you would get him in danger. Being a SHIELD agent, or a member of the Avengers or whatever the hell it was you were, you could not afford loving the God of Mischief. Who were you kidding? Breaking up with Loki, even though he had despised you calling him your boyfriend, had not changed your feelings for him. Your relationship had been but a secret, the adopted Stark girl attracted to mischief, malice and tricks.

When you closed your eyes, you could still feel his cool fingertips ghosting over your skin, leaving trails of goose bumps behind. You could still taste his soft lips on yours, stealing gentle but demanding kisses. You were the first one to understand him, he had said. But you had not been the first one to break his heart. He had snorted upon you asking to remain friends—and you had not properly spoken since. It was better this way. Well, in fact, you had been avoiding him, dismissing any looming conversation and keeping safe from the way your body reacted to his.

You knew that when your vision became blurry and your phone screen transformed into a bright dot before your eyes that you should excuse yourself and barricade yourself in your room to cry. Perhaps you had no right to mourn what you had had, despite it being an utter secret. You had hurt him. You had pushed him away for seemingly no reason. It was better this way.

You still remembered how you had met. The reason Loki had bothered to take a proper look at you. Your parents—your real parents—had been historians who specialised in the Viking Culture and Norse Mythology. They had named you after Sigyn, Loki’s wife; and when Tony Stark, the man who had adopted you after your parents died in a tragic accident, introduced you to the team—among them Loki, who had been brought back to Earth as punishment for his deeds to support Thor—his stunning blue eyes had, almost unnoticeably, widened.

You did not actually go by the name Sigyn anymore. It was too complicated to spell, let alone pronounce. But ever since then, Loki had been drawn to you and you… you had been drawn to him. You would never know what kinds of secrets your parents had kept from you or what meaning there was behind your name. There was magic between you—and now, you had ruined it.

For a few precious minutes, it was utterly quiet, with only your clock on the wall ticking away peacefully and letting you sulk pathetically, your face against the pillow. When someone knocked on your door, you elected to ignore it—right until the intruder simply let himself in.

“Go away!”

“Last time you were mesmerised by that trick.”

Your eyes widened. You turned over vigorously to find Stephen Strange standing before your bed, seemingly having floated right through the closed door. His red cape was flowing behind him like a red river. You waved back at it when it raised a corner to say hello.

“Stephen! Oh my God, when did you get back?” Growing up, you had loved sci-fi films and of course, Doctor Who. Travelling to different dimensions and universes wasn’t just exciting, it was breath-taking. Needless to say, you had soon taken a liking into the New York-based sorcerer. His magic was nothing compared to Loki’s but Stephen had quickly become one of your best friends—it was a notion Loki wasn’t particularly fond of. It would be even worse now that you both… no, in fact, it had just been you who had decided to break up for good.

“Just now. Are you gonna tell me why you’re acting like a teenager?”

“I… rough day. Tell me everything. Where did you go? Did you bring me a souvenir?” It would be a little unfair to use Stephen as a distraction from your misery. But you were desperate. And desperate times called for desperate measures.

-

Two and half hours later, Stephen became too hungry and thirsty to keep telling you his tales. You both made your way back to the kitchen to grab something to eat, hoping you would not run into Loki. He hated the ‘second-rate-wizard’ as was—and there was no reason to tickle a sleeping dragon.

Fortunately, you only ran into Tony instead. “I was looking for you,” he stated, opening a coke can he took from the fridge, “We have to talk. There has been another attack in New Jersey.”

“Another one? That’s the third one this month.”

“Yep. Thor believes it has something to do with the Chitauri… at least that’s what the damage looks like their weapons left behind. We are meeting in the living room in ten minutes.”

You sighed, nodding defeated. Another mission then. As long as you didn’t have to spend time with Loki…

“And you? What have you been up to lately?” Stephen asked as soon as Tony was gone.

“Nothing at all.” You replied. He raised an eyebrow.

“That answer came a little too fast. Are you sure everything is alright?”

“Hmm. Yes, of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

You gave him a fake smile—one which froze on your face when, a few minutes later, you strolled into the living room and spotted Loki already sitting in your favourite chair. You swallowed thickly, remembering this one time the Avengers had been out at a party somewhere in Hungary and Loki and you had stayed home. You had ended up on his lap naked after taking a shower, fucking right there and then on that bloody black leather armchair.

He remembered it too. The corners of his thin lips barely moved, his smirk invisible to everyone but you. After a few heartbeats, he acknowledged Stephen’s existence.

“Loki.” He said politely.

“Strange.” Loki snarled in response.

Tony took twenty minutes to explain the situation and fill you in on the details and then proposed the plan he had been working on with Thor and Bruce.

“…who will bypass the security system and get us inside.“ You were barely listening, only stealing quick and furtive glances at Loki. “In the meantime, (Y/N) and Loki give themselves access from the south side of the facility and make sure we’re not running into a trap or a handful of soldiers.” Your eyes widened.

“We can’t! I mean… why me and Loki?” Tony frowned.

“Why not? I hate to say this but Loki actually listens to you, besides, the two of you have always made a good team on missions. You help us get inside safely, we take care of the rest. And I don’t want you in the line of fire, (Y/N).”

Growling, you leaned back and crossed your arms before your chest. This was a bad idea. You certainly did not want to endanger anyone because you would be unable to concentrate in his presence. Not to mention that Loki was rather resentful. He would make use of the opportunity and try and lure you back in only to pounce once you felt safe enough, knowing exactly about the impact he made on your body and mind. Perhaps he even knew how much you still loved him. Either that… or would show you the cold shoulder.

“I can take care of myself, Tony.” And regardless what had happened between us, Loki would risk his life to save mine. You could tell by the way his eyebrows rose ever so slightly whenever he laid his eyes upon you. You were still on his mind then, as much as he was on yours.

Suddenly, Loki chuckled darkly, making you blush. You could tell he was oddly amused by this whole situation. Mischief was sparkling in his blue eyes when he looked up, seemingly unaffected by what was happening around him. Thor frowned. It was not unusual he had no clue what was going on.

You sighed once more. It was pointless to argue with him. Tony Stark had developed a strong protective instinct ever since he had adopted you. “Fine then. Can I go to sleep now, Dad?” You asked him scornfully. Tony nodded, overhearing your tone.

“I’ll have FRIDAY wake you up. We’re leaving before dawn.”

Flight. That was your first instinct. Stephen was already suspicious and you would do good to avoid any more nosey questions. If only you could throw yourself into Loki’s arms and show them just how much you loved working with him. You scoffed to yourself as you marched through the dark hallway.

“It seems you have already found yourself a new sorcerer.” Loki snarled with a start, appearing behind seemingly out of nowhere. You froze, your hand only inches away from your door knob.

“W-we’re just friends, Loki, you know that.” Your heart began to pound. Shit, after all, this was the first time you were properly conversing again after weeks. Your voice was shaky—and you were certain it did not go unnoticed. Loki knew you, your body and your reactions better than you did yourself.

“Yes,” he retorted mockingly. “I know that.” He paused. “It must be unbearably terrible then to work with me instead of him.”

“That’s not… you know that’s not why.” Loki snorted bitterly.

“Of course it isn’t. Tell me, have you been suffering since you ended our relationship? Have you been missing me, my touch… our conversations?” He would never say it, never out loud—never admit in how much pain he was. Instead, he decided to show you. “Do you miss this?”

Cornering you, he stepped closer until your back hit the cold wall, forcing you to lift your chin up to meet his blue eyes.

“Loki, stop. We ended this. We can’t…”

“We can. You need this as much as I do, do you not?” You could practically taste his breath on your lips by now. Loki inched even closer to you, pressing you against the wall. Any moment now, another Avenger could turn around the corner. It was dark but still…

“N-no…”

“No? Why are not pushing me away then?” You could feel his erection against your pubic bone. Loki bucked his hips, demonstrating you what you were missing out on. Your body was ablaze, every cell longing for his touch and the sweet release only he could give you.

“Please don’t…” Don’t what? Don’t continue? Don’t… stop?

“Hmm… that sounds awfully like this one time you begged me to play the evil villain capturing a young and innocent maiden… the perfect toy to make an even more perfect little pleasure slave.” He purred.

Your walls clenched upon his seductive words. Unceremoniously, and ignoring your half-hearted protests, he slid his hands under your thighs and lifted you up so you were trapped between his strong body and the wall, your heated centre resting snugly against his crotch. A moan escaped your lips when he rubbed himself against your lips, his forehead coming to rest against yours.

Loki knew exactly what buttons to press. Biting your lower lip, you stifled another moan when he cupped your left breast and squeezed it lightly, applying just enough pressure to turn you to putty beneath his touches all the while his other hand wrapped around your threat to remind you, in the most seductive and delicious way, who was in charge. Every blissful thrust of his against your most intimate body part, albeit still clothed, drove you closer and closer to orgasm. If he kept going like this… he would make you come undone for him right here in this hallway. God, where there any cameras nearby? Tony would get a heart attack if he decided to view the footage tomorrow…

But you did not get a chance to protest. Loki’s lips came crushing down on yours, capturing you for a passionate kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth, tasting you until you gave in and dug your fingernails into his shoulders. Faster and faster, he kept rocking against you, desperate, not only to bring you relief but also to quench his own thirst for a numbing peak of lust.

You wanted, no, needed to feel him without clothes, needed to feel him deep inside of you… “Loki…” You whispered. “Please…”

He shushed you in response, kissing you once more to shut you up. His breathing quickened as he picked up speed, thrusting against you and pampering your sweet nub of pleasure through the disturbing layers of your clothing until you burst into millions of tiny shards, pleasure rippling through you like lightning bolts. Your walls clenched around nothing as you came, soaking your already wet knickers. Panting, you buried your face in his neck, his raven hair tickling your cheek as Loki followed you suit and stilled as his orgasm grabbed a hold of him, shutting down and heightening his senses all at the same time. You could feel him twitching against you, his warm seed, instead of coating your tight walls, staining his leather trousers.

For a few heartbeats, you simply leaned there against the wall, breathing in each other’s presence.

“I am returning to Asgard.” You suddenly heard him say softly. Your head shot up in surprise and shock.

“What? You’re leaving?” He nodded weakly.

“Tomorrow night.”

“You can’t… you can’t just leave m-… What about Odin, what about Thor… what about your punishment?”

Loki scoffed. “My so-called ‘punishment’ ended over two months ago. I stayed because of you. But now, with nothing holding me here… I see no point in spending any more time among a group of meagre mortals who all desperately wait for the day I will not return from a mission.”

“Loki…” You wanted to tell him how this was not true, wanted to tell him that there was something holding him here on Earth. With trembling fingers, you reached up to cup his face. Loki moved back as if stung by an adder. You almost landed on the floor when he let go of your thighs.

“What do I need to do to stop you?”

Back to Asgard. It was in this moment that you realised that you had made a huge mistake with pushing him away from you like that out of worry for what your future might look like; realised the moment his blue eyes full of hurt and longing met yours that you loved him so much you could never possibly imagine a life without him anymore. You only feared that by now… it was too late and Loki had shut you out for good.

“Nothing,” he spat. “Not anymore. This is goodbye, (Y/N).” I just needed to feel and taste you one last time, he, unbeknownst to you, added silently.

You sank to the floor, sobbing, long after he had left, spending what was left of the short night crying yourself to sleep and mourning the loss, probably of the love of your life, which was entirely your fault.

-

You did not want him to leave. Being apart from Loki within the Avengers’ compound was hard as was… how would it feel once he was back on Asgard, lightyears away from you? What if he found a beautiful princess from another realm who would marry him? What if he forgot you?

Needless to say, you were unrested the next morning, your eyes swollen from your endless streams of tears. You did not join the others in the kitchen for breakfast, instead, sulked about in your room until they were all ready to leave.

How would you ever survive this mission, knowing that after, you would never see him again? What could you possibly say to him to make him stay? Loki had made it very clear to you last night. There was nothing holding him here anymore. He had shut you out just like you had shut him out, kicked him when he was already on the ground.

The only one to blame was you… and you wished for nothing more than to mend his broken heart. Tearing up yet again, you suited up and boarded the helicarrier. The journey would take you to Thailand, to a “secret” facility delivering weapons and armour of alien origins to a few thugs in New Jersey.

No… you would fix this. You would win him back. Loki was positively the best thing that had ever happened to you. You had been naïve, no, stupid to end the relationship because it might distract you from saving the bloody world. There was no world without Loki, was there?

Like the last couple of days, he was avoiding your gaze when you approached him standing next to Thor, observing the rest of the Avengers preparing everything like they were getting ready for a camping trip.

Finally, his blue eyes met yours—and for just the fraction of a second, longing flashed in them.

You looked away quickly when Tony noticed, blushing furiously. But… yes. That was exactly the problem. You kept hiding him, repudiating him. Your heart skipped a beat. Even when you had been together, you had, painstakingly so, kept him a secret out of fear of what the Avengers might say or do to separate you. Truth was, no one would ever be able to separate you from Loki anymore—no one but Loki himself.

Before you could stop yourself and reconsider what you were about to say, you took a deep breath and clenched your fists all the while marching straight towards the God of Mischief. Loki frowned in a confused manner.

“I have something to tell you guys.” You said loudly—loudly enough for everyone to stop doing whatever they were doing and face you to listen curiously. Loki’s frown deepened.

“Loki and I…” You paused. Loki and I are in a relationship? No. That was not powerful enough. “I love him.”

“Huh? Love him how? Like you love nachos and cheese or like playing house?” Bucky commented unimpressed.  Beside him, Tony froze. Loki’s lips parted in utter surprise. You had never caught him off guard like this before.

“What did you just say?!” Your adoptive father finally snapped, earning him a reproachful look from Doctor Strange—who looked equally displeased. You couldn’t care less.

“I said I love Loki.” To your left, Thor began to grin.

“So that’s why you decided to stay with us, brother,” He stated, patting him on the shoulder. “You fell in love!”

“I did not fall in love.” He spat. His soft gaze when his blue eyes met yours, however, spoke a different story. You couldn’t help it, giving in to the urge to be close to him, comfort him, kiss him. So you did. You practically jumped into his arms, digging your nails into his armour and kissed him senseless. It took him only a heartbeat to reciprocate the kiss and wrap you in his arms. Behind you, Tony was about to explode, if such a thing was possible.

“What have you done to her, Reindeer Games? What kind of spell is this?”

“I’m afraid it’s not a spell, Stark.” Stephen tossed in—still displeased but somewhat… amused. The rest of the Avengers appeared to be equally shocked. Well… that was their problem now. Even though there were a lot of things still unsaid between you two, Loki would be yours again; and you would never ever hurt him again like this.

“Okay, stop it. Stop it now! (Y/N), have you lost your mind? This is Loki.”

Eventually, you broke away from him, if anything to catch your breath. Loki was panting too, still not quite believing what you had just done. He did not, however, pull away from you. Quite on the contrary—he held you close as if he was worried Tony or one of the others would snatch you away from him.

“You don’t really know him, Tony.”

“I don’t know him? I don’t know him, (Y/N)?! This man brought an alien army to New York and killed innocent people!”

“That’s not how it happened and you know it.” You spat sharply, unwilling to mention Thanos’ name.

“I forbid it.”

“Forbid it? You can’t forbid it.”

“I can, you’re my daughter!”

“That’s not what it says on the adoption papers. I am a grown up woman, Tony. I can make my own decisions.”

It was Steve who stopped the Ironman from lunging at Loki without even wearing his suit.

-

“What does it look like back there?” Steve’s voice came through the waterproof earpiece you were wearing.

“We’re facing a cliff.” You replied matter-of-factly.

“Is there water down there?”

“Yes. Deep enough for a ship to pass through and deliver deadly ammunition.”

Tony might have hated would he had had to say about you but Loki but you were indeed a very good team, even more so now that… you smiled at him when he reached for your hand to pull you back into him so would not accidentally fall off the cliff.

“There is a… well, it looks like a cave. It might be what we’re looking for. Do you reckon that’s where they are storing the weapons?” You asked, turning to Loki.

He nodded. “Possibly.”

“And do you think there is a safe way down?”

“Of course there is a way down.”

“You teleport us?”

Loki grinned—maliciously. “You do recall how I told you back on the helicarrier that this barrier we saw on Stark’s digital map will not allow any form of teleportation? Given that I no longer have the Tesseract at hand…”

You raised an eyebrow and suppressed a grin—and the urge to just kiss him again and have him make love to you there and then.

“So?” Ignoring the fact he had made a subtle suggestion the space stone be returned to him, you looked at him, expecting the worst. He did not disappoint.

“We jump.” He stated, seemingly unaffected. Your eyes widened.

“What?!”

This time, he laughed. It was honest, blithe—and it warmed your heart. This man… is yours, a happy voice in your head whispered.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, reaching for your hand. You took it with a deep breath and nodded.

“I do.”

Loki’s smile was still genuine when he took your hand and squeezed it gently.

“Together.” You whispered. Next thing you knew you had your breath taken away as you fell, holding on to the God of Mischief for dear life. The moment you had to let go was the moment you broke through the water surface effortlessly, sinking deeper and deeper. Surprisingly, it had barely hurt, still, the sudden darkness and masses of water around you put your body on alert. Resisting the urge to take a deep breath, you ripped open your eyes.

Loki was grinning at you smugly even though you could barely register it due to the saltwater, instantly making you feel safer. He’d never let you drown. Your eyes were already burning. Quickly, you closed them again, only to feel him wrapping you in his embrace and pulling you close to ensure you made it back to the surface safely.

And before you even knew it, he captured your lips for a passionate kiss underwater. Loki became your oxygen. But no, you corrected yourself. In a way, he always had been. And perhaps… just like in the Myths… you would become his wife and he would take you to Asgard with him.

-

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my first (to be) published novel! If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[slowly-writing]

The Blink of an Eye

Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 2532

Requested by anon: Can I request a nat x daughter!reader where r is adopted and discovers she has powers but tries to hide it from nat because she doesn’t think she’d be a good avenger? love your writing ♥️

“Y/n, come on!!! We’re gonna be late!” Peter’s voice startles you as you’re brushing your teeth. You glance at your phone and your eyes go wide. If you don’t leave in the next five minutes you’re totally screwed.

“I’m coming!” you yell back, sprinting out of your bathroom. You stumble a bit and somehow end up halfway down the hall. You pause for a second, looking between the bathroom door and the place you’re now standing. It’s a solid five yards but you don’t have time to try and figure out what the hell just happened. You have to get to school.

“Finally. You’re gonna get us detention,” Peter grabs your hand and tugs you to the door.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, Peter,” Wanda is trying to stifle her laugh as the three of you make your way to the garage.

xxxxx

“Romanoff, that was amazing. It may even be a new school record,” your gym teacher tells you as you finish running the mile.

“Wait what? What was my time?” You’ve never been the fastest kid in class. You probably could be, but you hated running so you never really tried. You normally just keep it to an easy jog, or so you thought as you glance over your shoulder and notice you’ve left Peter in the dust. That shouldn’t have happened.

“5:32. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a high schooler run that fast, what’s your secret?” he asks, leaning closer to you as if you wouldn’t want the class to hear you, but they’re all still trying to finish their run at least a hundred yards behind you.

“It must just be all the training I do with my mom and her team,” you say with a shrug and a fake smile. You don’t train with your mom’s team. This doesn’t make sense.

Over the next few days you have more of what you can only describe as glitches. Random bursts of speed when you run that put you on the opposite side of the room faster than any human should be able to move. Now that you know what to look for you can see the world blur by you as you run. It doesn’t happen all the time and you have no idea how to explain it. People don’t just magically obtain superpowers. In your experience it was usually with the assistance of hydra, and the occasional radioactive spider but you haven’t gotten any bug bites recently and you don’t like the option that leaves you with.

Your memory of life before being adopted is hazy at best, a few flashes of people whose relation to you you can’t place and some doctors offices. A four year old found alone half a mile outside of a recently destroyed hydra base is nothing too suspicious. It was in a crowded community full of individuals who got caught in unfortunate circumstances. It wasn’t rare to find people living on the streets but when Natasha found you all alone she knew she couldn’t just leave you there. It seemed innocent enough at the time, but if you find out you came from within that hydra base? Well they might not see it as a coincidence anymore. Besides in your opinion, you’d be a crappy superhero so it’s better if nobody finds out. Yeah, you’ll just hide it. That’ll work.

xxxxx

It did not work.

Every day that passed you found it harder and harder to keep your secret. It seemed your powers, if you could even call them that, just kept getting stronger. And let’s just say you weren’t getting the hang of them anytime soon.

“Y/n, dinner!” you hear your mom call from down the hall and you jump up from your desk, you’ve been starving recently, maybe it has something to do with the new powers. You run for the kitchen, momentarily forgetting how bad of an idea that is. You see Clint walking in front of you and you panic. The world starts moving in slow motion as you realize you can’t stop. You turn a bit so you’ll miss him, digging your heels into the floor to try and slow down. It isn’t very effective and rather than you stopping yourself, you stop when you slam into Tony’s bookshelf, knocking it and all the books to the floor as you skid across the common room with them.

“Oh my god!” Tony yells, jumping several feet in the air at the noise

“Y/n are you okay?” your mom asks as she quickly makes her way over to you. You pull the books off your chest and sit up, smiling sheepishly at the group of avengers standing in front of you.

“Yeah. I just uh...tripped. Sorry about your books Tony. I’ll clean them up,” you wince as you look at the mess you caused.

“We don’t care about the books-”

“I care about the books!” Tony cuts in and Steve rolls his eyes before continuing.

“We care about you,” he finishes with a pointed look at Tony who nods.

“Oh uh, yeah. We care about you more. But I also like the books…” he trails off quietly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m clumsy,” you say with a shrug, pushing yourself up and stacking the books out of the walkway. Your mom looks at you and you can tell she doesn’t quite believe you, but she lets it go for now.

This isn’t gonna work for much longer.

xxxxx

“Y/n wake up! We have to go!” you wake up to Tony’s screaming and you jolt upright. The first thing you notice is there’s a haze of smoke throughout the room and it’s really warm.

“What’s happening?” you ask, wiping your eyes and trying to make sense of what’s happening.

“There was an explosion in the lab. The fire suppression system is down and the whole place went up, it's spreading and we need to get everyone out now,” he pulls you up from the couch and starts leading you out of the compound. As you’re both hunched under a cloud of smoke you can’t help but think for the hundreth time how stupid the floor plans of this building are. Tony wanted his lab close to the living quarters so he could get there quickly when he got inspiration in the middle of the night. You’ve lost count of how many times his lab accidents have woken you up at 3am and now your room is about to go up in a cloud of smoke.

“Thank God,” you mumble to yourself as you get outside. Glancing around you see Clint, Steve, and Bucky all doubled over on the lawn.

“You guys good?” Clint calls over.

“Yeah, you? Where’s everyone else?” you get nervous seeing less than half of the residents outside.

“Peter’s at home. Wanda, Sam, and Thor are on a mission. Banner’s still out of town, right?” Steve lists off and your blood runs cold.

“Where’s mom?”

“She’s not with you guys?” Bucky asks and you turn to Tony who shakes his head.

“No, I just grabbed the kid and got out. I figured those with military grade training could look out for each other!” Tony yells and you run through your moms schedule. You can hear them arguing about whose responsibility it was to look for her as you realize it’s Wednesday. It’s laundry day meaning she was here, and it’s the afternoon so she’s probably folding it in her room. God, you were ten feet from her and you didn’t notice.

“She’s in her room.”

“Tony suit up and get her!” Clint yells, he sounds almost as desperate as you feel.

“My suit is in the lab, send one of the super soldiers in!” Tony screams back. You can feel the heat from the fire and you don’t even want to think about what it’s like inside the building right now.

“We don’t have time for this! I’ll go,” you step forward but Bucky grabs your arm.

“We’re not letting you go in there. You’ll die!” He yells and you rip your arm out of his grasp.

“If I don’t my mom dies!” With that you take off, at a normal speed at first, but quickly speeding up until you’re a blur. You stumble a few times, running into walls and fallen support beams scattered through the walkway. You haven’t quite got the hang of this yet. Every time you hit something you can feel your clothes start to burn and char, the heat making it all the way down to your skin. You ignore the pain and keep running, you need to get to your mom. After a few more mishaps and no more than three seconds you’ve made it to your moms bedroom. When you look around you see her coughing and trying to pull a fallen dresser off her leg, but she can’t quite get the leverage. Her eyes widen when she sees you.

“What are you doing? Get out of here!” she yells, desperate to keep you safe.

“I’m here to help, push on three,” you tell her, grabbing the dresser and counting down. After struggling for a few seconds you get it off of her. “Is your leg okay?”

“I’m fine, you need to go. I’ll catch up, just run,” she tells you as you help her up but you’re not leaving her.

“This is gonna be really weird, I’ll explain it later. I’m gonna pick you up,” you wrap her arm around your shoulder and reach down to lift her.

“What’s going on. What are you-” you cut her off.

“Mom! Just trust me. And you might want to close your eyes.” you pause for a moment, taking a deep breath before taking off. There’s so much adrenaline surging through you you barely feel like you’re trying. Despite the seeming lack of effort on your part you weave your way out of the building quickly, stumbling towards the assembled group and setting your mom down.

“What the hell just happened?” Tony is the first to break the silence and you cough a few times, trying to get in a breath that no longer wants to enter your lungs.

“Is-is everyone out?” you stutter out. Your vision is starting to tunnel and you're not sure why.

“Yes. Everyone is out. Now tell us what the hell is going on!” To anyone else your mom may sound mad, but you recognize that tone of voice. She’s worried. You want to reassure her but standing is getting harder by the second.

“I’m really fast,” is all you manage to get out before your knees buckle and your vision goes dark.

xxxxx

“You couldn’t have picked another part of the compound to destroy? Our med wing is a lot comfier,” you say as you’re opening your eyes, you can hear Tony whispering to someone so you know he’ll hear you.

“So sorry to inconvenience you, your highness,” he teases back and you smile, pushing yourself and surveying the room of worried gazes.

“By the looks on your faces I’m going to assume my secret’s out?” you ask and they all nod, varying degrees of annoyance, anger, and concern appearing as you try to lighten the mood. “Great. What’s the damage?”

“You have some burns that are healing way faster than they should. You were pretty malnourished. We think whatever your powers are make you require more food. How long have you known?” your mom asks and you look at your hands. She has her face set in an emotionless mask and even after all these years you can’t tell what that look means, and that worries you.

“A month or so,” you tell her and she sighs.

“What’s the first time you remember something happening?” Bruce’s voice is gentle, ever the calm one in the storm and you replay the memories of appearing in different places in your head, trying to remember the first one.

“Five weeks ago. I was late for school and running down the hall and it was like a glitch. I blinked and I was on the opposite end. I just brushed it off as being tired or something,” you explain with a shrug.

“When you crushed everyone in the mile, that was this? Coach has been trying to get us to explain your training routine for weeks. I guess we’ll have to tell him it won’t help,” Peter says and you chuckle.

“I don’t train. Especially after I found this. Running has had some...unfortunate consequences.”

“You mean besides you being in this hospital bed?” your mom asks cooly and you wince.

“I don’t think I’d call saving your life an unfortunate consequence but to each their own I guess. I kinda meant running into book shelves and seeing everything move in slow motion. It’s pretty disorienting,” you explain softly.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Wanda’s voice is gentle. She can feel the stress coming from you and she desperately wants to calm you down.

“How would I even start that conversation? ‘Hey guys remember that random rescue mission where you picked up a civilian? Turns out it wasn’t a civilian. Please don’t arrest me. I swear I’m not trying to infiltrate the top secret government organization you all work for, I was just created in a lab by your enemy whose sole purpose is to destroy you by any means necessary. Haha so fun, anyway what’s for dinner?’ That didn’t seem too appealing.”

“What did you think we were gonna do? We know you y/n,” Steve says and your head snaps up.

“No you don’t! None of us know anything about me anymore! What we do know is what hydra is capable of! Who knows what kind of shit they did. For all I know I have a fail safe set up in my brain to make me do their bidding at the drop of a hat! They’re your greatest enemy, and I’m just some kid you found in an alley. There’s really only one choice here,” you start off yelling but by the end your voice is barely above a whisper.

“You’re right. There is only one choice,” your mom speaks up for the first time in a while and you feel tears collecting in your eyes. “We start running tests. We see what they did to you and we find out if we can reverse it. We find out if you even want to reverse it and then we go from there. Either way you’re not alone. We’ve got you, no matter what.”

As soon as the words are out of her mouth you’re throwing yourself into her arms and holding on for dear life. It feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted off of your shoulders and for the first time in weeks you can finally breathe.

tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff

[choco-mark]

A Marriage of Inconvenience (6)

overall pairing: mafia!jeno x mafia!oc

overall genre: angst | smut | fluff

warnings: language, mentions of violence + death, jeno threatening to kill hyuck, mentions of sex, explicit sex, angry/rough sex, choking, manhandling (kinda), unprotected sex (be safe!!!), somnophilia, oral (fem. receiving), overstimulation, praise kink (kinda), moaning kink, crying during sex, i literally wrote fucking filth okay??

summary: when two mafia gangs decide to end their family feud after decades, your mother decides to give your hand away to marriage of their son, lee jeno. he seemed to hate you from the moment he laid his eyes on you, but could the resolution lead to something much more than a bride and groom?

words: 4.7k

masterlist

requested by 🤡 anon

27 April

Despite your threat to leave nearly a week ago, you hadn’t left the palace since that moment—well, you hadn’t really taken a step out of your room other than to go to Jisung’s room, and Mark had so nicely guided you on a pathway from your room to his. You also hadn’t talked to Jeno since then, also considering that he was being a complete asshole to you from the moment you had even entered the house nearly two weeks ago. He was just that—an absolute asshole.

Jisung had been taken back to the Park mansion two days earlier, leaving you with a tight hug and a promise that you would indeed see him again, just to be ripped from your grip one more time. At least he had healed enough for the Parks to...not be completely suspicious to the point where they declared some war on the Lees, and it was good enough for him to be sent back. It wasn’t easy, staying in your room with absolutely nothing to do other than to sit by the window and enjoy the air, or listen to Mark talk about virtually nothing for hours. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy his company, he was just so talkative to the point that you would zone out to the sound of his voice and focus on how your life could’ve been if you didn’t ever leave your home.

You didn’t know what you expected for Jeno to do, however: come visit you? apologize to you? maybe tell you that he’s sorry for being the main cause of your misery? But you hadn’t seen that handsome face of him for the past week, and only when you had briefly mentioned him to Mark, he had told you that Jeno’s birthday had passed on the twenty-third. And he hadn’t celebrated it in the least. You didn’t expect him, or any of the Lees to be celebrators of their birthdays, but Mark had insisted that this was just a Jeno thing: he never wanted to take note of the fact that he was born on that day.

Jeno, however, felt like a complete failure of a fiancee when he saw you storm out of his bedroom with tears and a broken voice, and he couldn’t even bring it up to himself to ask why the fuck he decided to explode on you as if everything was your fault. It really wasn’t, not even in the slightest, but he also couldn’t find anyone else to blame: his father? your father? both families? But he knew that he had fucked up when he saw someone as strong as you cry with real tears streaming down your face the way you did when Jisung lunged himself in front of a week earlier. And the worst part was, he wasn’t really much different from Taeyong, being the reason that you were shedding tears and being the cause of your pain. He felt like shit.

And maybe he deserved to feel like shit when he hesitated in front of your door every single time he built up the courage to actually go up to your room, and maybe he felt like shit when he sent Mark in there instead, to see how you were doing. Were you eating right? Were you feeling better? Were you recovering properly the way you were supposed to? He didn’t know why he wanted to know how you were doing, but he felt obligated in a way, obligated to keep you—safe.

Mark told him that you were—softer. Softer than the way you were when you first came to the palace, and he said that it was because of your brother; that your brother made you softer on the inside and messed with your emotions. Taeyong was smart in that way, emotionally manipulating you with your core weakness, family. You knew that you went soft whenever it came to Jisung, but you couldn’t help it anyway, seeing him hurt meant that it hurt you more, mentally and physically.  

It was around eight in the evening when Jeno decided for about the hundredth time that he had the courage to storm up to your room and apologize to you about being—a shitty person to you. He stood in front of your door again, a hand raised to knock but it never actually meeting the wood, hesitation going through his blood. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? Obviously she wouldn’t, you were a fucking idiot towards her.

“You’re not backing out this time,” Jeno jumped from the sound of a familiar voice, double-taking on the owner of the sweet voice behind him. Donghyuck was standing behind him with his arms crossed, a slight smirk painting his face as he nodded towards your door. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you chicken out on actually going into her room for like—the past fucking week. Don’t be a pussy, Jeno...”

“I haven’t been chickening out,” he answered quietly, looking at the intricate door and then back to Donghyuck, his voice lacking any real confidence. “I just don’t want to be—rude or anything.”

“Rude? You’re worried about being rude, now?” He asked incredulously, the one eyebrow with a perfect slit raising as he leaned against the wall, the sound of voice increasing slightly until Jeno gave him a look. “Okay, okay. Just—get over yourself and apologize to her. She deserves it, you know. She’s a pretty one.” Donghyuck hummed thoughtfully after that, making his brother give him a pointed look. “I mean, just stating facts. She’s pretty, she’s got a pretty voice, and everything about her is—pretty.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” he growled softly, and Donghyuck put his hands up in mock defense, shaking his head. “She’s mine.” The words tasted familiar on his tongue, like they were meant to be there as he gave him another cocky look. “Don’t look at me like that, Hyuck. I’ll kill her if you even lay a hand on her.”

“Feisty, okay,” he punctuated the last word with a smack of his lips, pursing them carefully as he rolled his eyes. “Just listen. You were an ass, and she probably still thinks you’re an ass because you’re the only one here that can’t get over his massive ego. She’s not stupid, either, so don’t half-ass your apology. Get it over with and then eat her out, simple.”

Jeno could’ve spit out his water if he had any in his mouth. Donghyuck just shrugged after his words, as if he hadn’t just given his older brother some—sex advice? “She’ll definitely forgive you if you suck on her clit, okay? You’ve stressed the pretty girl out enough, so go make her cum a few times. Oh, and you might wanna close the door, these servants just walk in on their own accord these days.”

“Hyuck, if you don’t fucking shut up right now, I’m gonna choke you to death.”

“Kinky,” he wiggled his eyebrows, dodging Jeno’s hand as he lunged for the collar of his shirt. “Yikes! You might not want to show her that side yet, it’s a little too early. See ya!” He backed away from his grip, swaying down the hallway till the end turn, giving him a small wave, and then disappearing.

Suck on her clit...make her cum a few times. That doesn’t sound...that bad? His eyes fell back on your door, the one that he had been standing in front of for the past few days, never having the actual courage to give it a sharp knock and see your face again. But she probably doesn’t want to see me anyway. Hyuck’s right. I was an ass...and I kinda still am. Jeno raised up his hand again, resting it softly against the wood so it wouldn’t make a noise. Okay, on three.

One.

Two.

Three.

He left a sharp few hits to the wood, regretting it almost immediately with every single cell in his body. Shit, shit, shit, I should leave. Okay, fuck. You already knocked on the fucking door, Lee Jeno, you can’t leave now, she’s just gonna hate you even more. Fuck, did she hear it? Maybe I should—

“Mark?” Your voice was euphonious, the name of his older brother ringing through the room, though it was muffled from the distance that he heard it. “I said you don’t have to knock anymore, just come in.” His pursed his lips at your words. Mark’s been coming in without knocking?

Even though you were basically inviting him in, his feet didn’t move to his mind, staying planted. Suddenly, the ground looked very appealing to it. He never really seemed to realize how nicely the expensive wood floor looked against the walls and the door. Maybe he’d end this mafia business and just become an architect instead.

The door swung open, revealing your unsuspecting figure as you focused on Jeno’s face, your face falling as you realized who was finally outside of your door after what seemed like decades. “Oh...” You sounded disappointed to see him, which wasn’t necessarily the case for you. You were just—surprised. “You’re not...Mark,” you trailed off, looking away from him.

“Can I come in?”

He didn’t sound as harsh as he did when he spoke to you last, but you couldn’t let it deceive you this time. Your hand curled around the doorknob, getting ready the slam the door in his face eventually. “No.” You weren’t as firm as you wished to be, but that’s what the flat piece of wood of a door was for. You swung it forward, but Jeno’s foot stopped it first, halting it halfway through it’s motion.

“Please? I just want to talk...” He sounded desperate, your heart twisting at the sound. You shook your head in denial. Nope, I’m not letting him in again. I can’t let him in any longer. “Y/N, please.” There it is again, saying my name like that.

“Stop saying my name like that,” you muttered, still trying to close the door on him but failing. “Just go. Leave me alone.” You realized that you were sounding like a child, but you didn’t really care at this point. “Just go!”

Jeno already had a short temper, that was something that was obvious to almost everyone in that entire palace, and your stubbornness was annoying him by the second. All he wanted to do was set things right, apologize to you properly for being an asshole the entire time, but you weren’t quite making it easy for him. Well, he couldn’t really blame you, if you had done the same thing, he probably wouldn’t want to see you either. But it was prickling his nerves intently, annoying him from the way you were even refusing to hear him out.

“Y/N, just listen to me for one minute,” he tried to keep his voice level, to sound sane as you didn’t budge. “Y/N! Just listen to what I have to say!”

“Why should I listen to you?!” You snapped back, and you knew that you had hit a nerve of his when his tongue poked at his cheek, darting out to lick his lips shortly. For some reason, it made you oddly satisfied to piss him off, the urge to push him further down the road fueling you as you bit down on a smirk of pride. “You’re such a fucking prick, Lee Jeno!”

That did it. The foot that was holding the door with such patience was removed for a brief moment, only for him to kick it back with so much power that it startled you. He made his way in, nearly making you stumble backwards as he slammed it shut with a loud sound, grabbing your body and pinning you to the wood in less than a second. Your breath hitched as tried to squirm away from the tight grip he held on your wrists, but his eyes were pouring into you, bright will a newfound anger and...lust?

His hand went to cup your core the same time he attacked your lips, basically crashing them together so hard that you thought your mouth would bleed from the action. “I’m a prick?” He asked between kisses, nipping at your lip with his teeth as his eyes never left yours. “What? You like that?” The hand that was over your clothed pussy rubbed with an increasing friction, your strong demeanor falling as he did so. “You like it when I touch you there? Huh?”

As much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, you nodded your head, panting as you did so. “You are a prick, so fucking—selfish, fuck...” His hands had dipped past your jeans and panties, fingers roughly caressing your folds that were growing wet by the second. Your hands were grasping his forearms as he continued the fast paced motion, making you double over. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...”

“You’re a brat, Y/N,” he snarled, stopping momentarily to basically rip off your jeans, throwing them behind him as he yanked down your panties, leaving you bare to him. “You can’t even listen to me when I ask you to, so disobedient. I was trying to be fucking nice for once.”

“Shut up,” you pierced him with your gaze as you watched him kick off his own boxers, taking in the sight of his fully erect cock. “What? Is this why you came here? Because you fucked up with your words and now you’re so fucking hard for me?! You deserve it...” He thrusted into you, hard and raw as you let out a yelp of pain, your fingers digging into his arm as he started a brutal pace.

“Deserve what?” He mocked, grabbing you by the jaw to push your head back, moving forward to suck at your neck. “Deserve to be called a prick? You think you can talk to me like that?” You fisted a hand in his hair, pulling at the locks hard enough to elicit a moan from him. “You’re the one dripping all over the floor for me.”

“You’re not my father,” you scratched at his chest, trying not to let him know how good he was making you feel. “Fuck off, Jeno.”

He groaned at the sound of his name, pushing you even harder against the door as he thrusted impossibly deeper, making your entire body go limp as you wrapped your legs around his hips. You were trying to get ahold of yourself, to keep yourself grounded but the way he was fucking you so desperately made you lose your mind.

Jeno noticed your fucked out expression as he pulled back from your neck, feeling the hot skin under your shirt as he raked it upwards, grasping onto you tightly. You looked so good like that, so drunk on his cock that you couldn’t focus on anything but it. Oh, it just felt that good. “At least you‘ll fucking listen to me now,” he continued, hitting your sweet spot with such a force that had you crying out. “Oh, baby, does that feel good?” Good? Good was a fucking understatement of how it felt, the way his cock was dragging across your tightened walls, clenching over him every time his gruff voice hit your ear. He could tell you liked it—no—loved it, and he took it to his advantage, stilling with his cock buried deep inside of your pussy that your eyes fluttered open in response.

You tried bucking your hips, but his strength held you to the wall, driving you crazy. “You gonna listen to me like a good girl, now?” He asked, a little softer as his hand cupped at your cheek for a moment. You tried shying away but his grip was still there. “Answer me.”

“Just fuck me, Jeno,” you said breathlessly, arching your back to get him to move again. “Come on!”

He could’ve sworn you fucking whimpered when he thrusted deeply into you again, hitting your sweet spot as he stilled once again. “Don’t be greedy, princess. Listen to me.” The pet name caught your attention, the weakness of it seeping through as you nodded slowly. “Good girl, you like that? You like it when I praise you, don’t you?” You nodded again, this time falling completely into his hold as his fingers caressed your skin.

“I came here because I wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a fucking prick. I’m sorry for treating you like shit from the literal moment I saw you. I’m sorry for trying to kill you, and I’m sorry for your brother getting shot. I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m really fucking sorry.” His breath fanned your face, bringing you back to reality for a moment to see his sincere expression. “And I’m not just saying this because you’re letting me fuck you against the door.”

You let out an unhumorous chuckle, “Yeah? I don’t believe you.” Now you were just trying to push his buttons. You could see how his eyes had changed from their sparkle of lust to something else as he spoke to you, but they changed back, and the hand on your cheek moved down to your neck instead. His fucking was hard as his fingers pressed at the sides of your throat, your moans now coming out choked.

“You’ll believe me when I’m done with you, princess,” he whispered into your ear, removing his hand just to slam you against the door again, the action knocking the breath out of you. “Look at you, so fucking helpless for my cock. Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?” You couldn’t even answer his taunt, holding onto him for dear life as he pounded into you to your orgasm. You scratched down his back, letting out a loud moan as he drove you into overstimulation. He took you harder, his cock causing you oversensitiveness as you felt him chase after his own high. With a groan, he came, filling you up with his milky liquid as you threw your head back at the feeling of his cum inside of you.

Jeno pulled out his already softening dick, watching as his essence dripped out of your hole down your thighs, even decorating the wood underneath the two of you with the liquid. As he unwound your legs from around his hips, he set you back down on your two feet with ease, even though you stumbled into him anyway, clutching at his shirt desperately as he held you from falling. “That good, huh?”

“Fuck off, Jeno.”

28 April

“She came once?!” Donghyuck asked incredulously, pointing at Jeno accusingly as he rolled his eyes at his exaggeration. This was probably the third time he asked him with the same tone, completely baffled to the point where he was scoffing in disbelief. “What about ‘make her cum a few times’ did you not fucking understand?!”

“She pissed me off, okay! I just got—too into the moment and took her against the door, but I think she liked it...” He trailed off, remembering how you had looked at him with those huge gleaming eyes of yours, begging silently for him to fuck you into oblivion while he was attempting to apologize. “But, er—I did apologize.”

“And? How’d she take that?”

Jeno blinked, the only memory coming back to him being your answer in order to rile him up into stuffing you with his cock again. He looked sheepishly over at his brother, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, well. She told me she didn’t believe me so I just made her cum.” Donghyuck didn’t seem impressed. “What?! Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” He crossed his arms, sighing dramatically. “Like you just fucked your fiancee after I told you to act like a sane person and apologize with your mouth?”

“No! Like I did something wrong!”

“Uh, um, well. You fucked your fiancee after I told you to act like a sane person and apologize with your mouth, and you left her to an empty room in the morning to come and fucking talk to me?! How do you expect her to forgive you after that? Or worse, how do you expect her to let you fuck her after that?!”

“Wow, priorities,” Jeno rolled his eyes at his brother’s words, leaning back against his bed. “And I didn’t leave her like that! I did the aftercare shit and I was there the whole night, you know, and I like hugged her and shit. It was cute...you know?”

Donghyuck massaged his forehead. “Cuddling, Jeno. It’s called cuddling. Get your endearment terms together and maybe you can work this thing out with her. Have you ever dated before?”

“Er—no?”

“Yeah, that explains a lot.” He shuffled forward, crossing his legs as if he was about to start lecturing Jeno about the theory of relativity. “So, rule number one. You don’t fuck for forgiveness. It doesn’t work like that. Two, you can’t just fuck her all the time. And three, if you don’t go back to her room and make her cum at least three times, I’ll do it myself. And yes! That’s a fucking threat, brother!”

“You just said I shouldn’t fuck for forgiveness, Hyuck. And I already told you that I’ll kill you if you even dare to touch her—I’m gonna narrow it down to look at her.” Donghyuck didn’t seem fazed by the weak threat, but slapped his thigh instead, startling him. “What was that for?”

“Do you like her?”

“I’m engaged to her.”

“That doesn’t answer the question, jackass.”

“Yes, fuck. Yeah, I like her.”

He grabbed Jeno by the arm, pushing him off the bed as he continued to move towards the door, eventually throwing him out of the room. “So go fucking tell her that, you idiot. And don’t come into my room until you’ve made her cum three times.”

You woke up with a tingling sensation from between your legs, your entire mind in a haze as a wave of pleasure crashed over you, sending too many signals to your brain that you were flooded from the feeling. You didn’t understand what was happening, but as your eyes finally fluttered open to a sight of bright hair between your legs, oh, you knew exactly what was happening.

Jeno was lapping at your folds like a small dog, his tongue swirling over your skin slowly until he noticed you were waking up. He didn’t stop, however, his hands moving to throw your legs over his shoulders before he sent you a silent wink, burying his tongue into your heat again. Your heart jumped, jumped out of your fucking chest when you felt the wet muscle at your most sensitive area, your body responding so quickly with an arch of your back. If this was Jeno’s first time ever giving oral, you wouldn’t have known, considering it was most definitely the first time someone had ever put their mouth on you in such an intimate fashion. He didn’t quite know what he was doing either, considering that he actually hadn’t done this before, but your responses were fueling him to continue.

He stopped momentarily to rub your inner thighs, looking at you with widened eyes as he saw you biting at your lip, your eyes barely open as he moved his finger against your clit instead. “Good morning, princess,” he wouldn’t have found the moment any hotter if you hadn’t came from the sound of his raspy morning voice, a cry ripping from your throat as you felt yourself flush in embarrassment. Jeno, however, was impressed. “Oh my god. You just came. Did you just cum from my voice?” He asked with curiosity, but he knew the answer was yes when you tried to close your legs. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

Jeno felt his ego soar from that, noticing that you were so affected by him as he pressed his lips against your core again, watching as you cried out from the sensitivity. Though he hadn’t ever tasted a pussy before yours, he was sure that it couldn’t get any sweeter. You tasted so good, so wet and fulfilling for him as he practically made out with your clit. The sparks going through your body were way too much, nearly sending you out of this world as you laced your fingers through his hair again, grabbing on something to keep you sane.

Yet, it didn’t keep you sane in the same way, not from the way you heard the lewd sounds coming from between your legs, filling up the entire bedroom along with your voice. He was doing so good, his jaw moving so rapidly that you couldn’t even think about anything else. Nothing but Jeno, Jeno, Jeno. He paused to move down to your hole, teasing his tongue at the entrance before adjusting his grasp on your thighs and easing himself inside. You swore loudly, his name tumbling from your mouth without a second thought as you came again, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

You’ve never felt this good in your entire life before, that was absolutely sure, and you especially knew it when Jeno didn’t even hesitate to continue fucking his tongue into you, making you writhe in the sheets. He was groaning from every time you cried out his name in desperation, the vibrations making you go feral as you came for the third time, tears streaming down your face as it happened.

His hands held a tight grip to your thighs as he didn’t even stop, and you cried out loudly, “Jeno, I can’t, please!” Hands ran up your body, soothing you with sweet nothings as he gave you a small break. You felt him press wet kisses to your lower abdomen, feathering them back down to between your legs once again.

“Just once more, princess,” he cooed, the voice sending shivers through your whole body as it he let out a breath against your clit. “Please? You taste so good, I can’t get enough of you. Just one more time, okay? Once more? Please?”

You fell into his grasp again, his tongue sending you into another universe as he drew soft circles of comfort into your inner thighs. The motion just had you ten times more sensitive than earlier, so much more responsive that you were when he decided to wake you up with that pretty mouth of his. That was it, his mouth was absolutely pretty. It worked so well, bringing your over the edge without a doubt, his lips turning swollen but pleasurably so as he looked up at you every so often to see your reaction. Your folds were still glistening from his saliva and your reoccurring arousal, and the amount of times that he had heard his name fall from your sweet, sweet mouth were uncountable.

You bucked your hips into his mouth as you came for the fourth time, soft sobs filling the room as you felt the wave pass over your body in an overwhelming crash. It was too much, way too much at once but it felt so good at the same time. Jeno finally removed himself from his position, letting you take a good look at him with his face covered in your juices. You threw your head back again, your chest heaving as you sobbed in absolute pleasure, the sight of your fiancee sending your emotions sky high.

“Oh my god,” he settled down next to you, pulling the comforter over both of your bodies before he wiped the tears from your face, his own expression during concerned. “Did that hurt? Please tell me that I didn’t hurt you.” You shook your head immediately, raising your hand to grasp his wrist weakly. “Did you like it? Did I do good?” He asked, his eyes searching yours as a way of needing approval. “Did I make you feel good?”

You didn’t know why you were crying, maybe it was the way you felt so intimately connected with him, maybe it was the way that his mouth had made you feel, maybe it was the way you felt so vulnerable under his control, or maybe it was the way that you felt your heart leap with just a simple glance to Jeno’s pleading eyes. But you took a single chance, leaning forward and pressing your lips to his.

“Yes.”

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I LITERALLY WROTE THIS IN A DAY, anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed that because it was f i l t h and i don’t think i’ve ever written so much fucking smut in one post. anyway, there is only one more part after this and an epilogue!! :) love you babes <3 don’t expect...to much angst after this, but i can’t promise anything ;))