#this is such a stupid fucking post

[saturn-scribbles]

pov: you're crying and neither jane remover nor stephen malkmus are being particularly helpful

[lolipoptheclown]

Who will be the "From mall security to every enemy we're on your property standing in V formation" to my "Na na na na na na na na na na na na"

[the-nefarious-vampire]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[emmafaeru]

miorine: you wouldn’t leave ariel and me behind if your mother told you too, would you?

suletta: it might seem crazy what I’m bout to say

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[heartorbit]

MWAH!

[xpupslxtx]

i cannot stop thinking about roughhousing. i want tickling and laughing that turns into wrestling that gets a little more serious and heated, until one of us is pinned down, both breathing hard and making out and thighs pressed in between each others legs and hickeys and bite marks all over and trying so hard not to be the one that cums first and failing, ending up getting fucked hard by the winner until you’re so drunk on all your orgasms you couldn’t fight back if you tried

[arcane-gold]

hello rookanis nation. can i present rel and lucanis’s dynamic. sun and moon trope, one with boundless energy and one who gets 2 hours of sleep a night, guy i pulled by being an idiot, etc. they’re special to me

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

[stump-not-found]

A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

---

bill, babygirl, the red flags get outta there

[haunted-pool-noodle]

I couldn't stop laughing at this absolutely terrible joke so now I have to inflict it on you. sorry?

[Image 1 ID: Bolded text that says, "Stripping for edible flour in Tijuana," then in unbolded letters below it, "Please don't make me elaborate." End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: A 4-image comic of Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. He's floating in front of one of Stan's memory doors, which is labelled as "KEEP OUT." Bill looks at the door and says "OHO, DEEP, DARK, SECRETS? DON'T MIND IF I DO!"

There are then three panels shown, from the perspective of the door looking at Bill. Across the first two, Bill opens the door, eye closed and other hand on his hip. In the last panel, Bill's eye is open, looking deeply unsettled, and he slams the door shut.

Bill turns from the door, staring downwards, haunted by whatever he has seen.

Bill looks back at the door out of the corner of his eye, putting a hand to the top of his angle. He says, "OH GOD, HE AND SIXER REALLY ARE IDENTICAL." End ID.]

[keferon]

Guess who spent two days trying to understand how to draw a kiss

Based on amazing incredible gut wrenching Mistakes on Mistakes until..

[personwholoveschocolate]

they dont do fucking guys like this anymore. not in this economy

[haveuevermetme]

Grown women who mock 10-year-old girls on tiktok for using too much makeup and skincare are so ironic and painful to watch.

Acting like these girls didn’t get their ideas from you. They were listening when you were telling them how you should start your retinol treatment as young as you can. They were listening when you told them 30 step routine is a game changer. They were looking at you, at women on the billboards, magazine covers and in the TV shows with perfect skin, perfect eyeshadows, perfect hair and realised they should do the same, they should start as young as they can or it would be too late.

These girls are present when you mock other women for their age. Young women ages 20-30 get bullied for having normal faces. “Oh my god i thought you were 50” at a woman who is clearly in her thirties.

These “helpful tips” how to not get wrinkles which include don’t lift your eyebrows, don’t emote in general, use anti-wrinkle straws, don’t forget to get botox on time.

Red light therapy, sleeping with your mouth sealed, in one position on your back so either side of your face won’t get squished and swollen.

But these little girls are funny, yeah, let’s mock them. Why don’t you mock the promoters of these ideas? Why don’t you mock billion dollar industries? 10-year-olds at Sephora are funny, I wonder if you find the absence of women with real faces on screens as funny

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Me when I really want to draw fanart for a fandom because it looks so cool, but I haven't the slightest idea about any deeper lore than surface level plot and symbolism