#this is such a stupid fucking post

[saturn-scribbles]

pov: you're crying and neither jane remover nor stephen malkmus are being particularly helpful

[lolipoptheclown]

Who will be the "From mall security to every enemy we're on your property standing in V formation" to my "Na na na na na na na na na na na na"

[lightboundhellhound]

is your man FAT and HAIRY?

are your man’s cheeks RED and ROSY?

when your man laughs, is his belly like a BOWL full of JELLY?

if so, that’s not your man, that’s SANTA CLAUS

[wintergrofyuri]

"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.

namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.

ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.

marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.

Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.

marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.

chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.

and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!

im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.

if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.

take this

thanks

[the-nefarious-vampire]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[greelin]

it feels like it’s fucking 11pm. and it’s not even 7

[emmafaeru]

miorine: you wouldn’t leave ariel and me behind if your mother told you too, would you?

suletta: it might seem crazy what I’m bout to say

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

[stump-not-found]

A Lifetime Served in a Little Cup

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4

---

bill, babygirl, the red flags get outta there

[haunted-pool-noodle]

I couldn't stop laughing at this absolutely terrible joke so now I have to inflict it on you. sorry?

[Image 1 ID: Bolded text that says, "Stripping for edible flour in Tijuana," then in unbolded letters below it, "Please don't make me elaborate." End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: A 4-image comic of Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. He's floating in front of one of Stan's memory doors, which is labelled as "KEEP OUT." Bill looks at the door and says "OHO, DEEP, DARK, SECRETS? DON'T MIND IF I DO!"

There are then three panels shown, from the perspective of the door looking at Bill. Across the first two, Bill opens the door, eye closed and other hand on his hip. In the last panel, Bill's eye is open, looking deeply unsettled, and he slams the door shut.

Bill turns from the door, staring downwards, haunted by whatever he has seen.

Bill looks back at the door out of the corner of his eye, putting a hand to the top of his angle. He says, "OH GOD, HE AND SIXER REALLY ARE IDENTICAL." End ID.]

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Me when I really want to draw fanart for a fandom because it looks so cool, but I haven't the slightest idea about any deeper lore than surface level plot and symbolism

[hyukqi]

size training with soobin !!! 😵‍💫

(lawd help me im lightheaded just by imagining it)

soobin lying back against the headboard with one hand brushing his messy hair back and the other with a loose grip on your waist. sweat dripping down his forehead while he has an cocky smile across his face scanning your body up and down as you straddle his hips. whimpering quietly “b-bin…” while he coos softly “shhh.. come on pretty girl, you can take it, can you?” >_<

lifting your hips to align his cockhead with your sopping entrance, feeling overwhelmed with his intimidating demeanor that turns you oh so subby for him !!! gasping with short “ah”s and “hnn..!!”s while you sink down on him feeling his thick, long, girthy cock scrape your insides… he’s too big you can barely take his tip in!!

“too much…” with sobs pouring from your mouth and tears pooling in your eyes before they drip onto his toned body. “so good for me baby… it can fit ‘m promise, tight pussy ‘s sucking on it so well…” soobin murmurs enamored by how fucking hot you look forcing your pretty pussy down his massive cock. god he’s so soft with you but at the same time you want to wipe off his stupid smirk that revels in your desperation.

going so dumb on his cock shuddering once you sink down completely, moaning loudly at his girth rubbing against your gummy walls and tip resting right against that one bundle of nerves <33 god you might as well see his bulge protruding your stomach. “fuck… good girl… my good girl.. so small and tiny” lips pressed against your neck, behind your ear, and trailing to your jaw..

hah… he’s such a boob guy so soobin would definitely massage your breasts mouthing at your nipples while you ride him !! sloppily rutting against him and lifting your hips just to slam down on his huge cock leaving you both in shambles but only one grows increasingly desperate “nnnghh~~!! b-bin… soobin… p-please just ah!” soobin softly biting your nipples with his hands guiding you down and him thrusting upward at the same time making you arch back in sweet pleasure @_@

what a stupid baby you are… babbling incoherent whines and moans while he puts in all the effort into molding you into his personal cocksleeve. so so dumb for him and his big cock that you end up cumming too quickly with your juices gushing out from under, coating him with your sticky mess <333 and if you thought you were done, you are so wrong !!!

“came so fast already.. you can give me another, mm?” soobin suddenly pushing you down and hovering over with your legs hooked on his shoulders. sounds of skin smacking fill up the entire room while he deliciously ruts his dick against your pussy with eyes closed to concentrate on fucking his girlfriend dumb.

he still has yet to cum too yknow?

[cloudysarts]

this is what the book of bill was about right

(og image under the cut)

[haveuevermetme]

Grown women who mock 10-year-old girls on tiktok for using too much makeup and skincare are so ironic and painful to watch.

Acting like these girls didn’t get their ideas from you. They were listening when you were telling them how you should start your retinol treatment as young as you can. They were listening when you told them 30 step routine is a game changer. They were looking at you, at women on the billboards, magazine covers and in the TV shows with perfect skin, perfect eyeshadows, perfect hair and realised they should do the same, they should start as young as they can or it would be too late.

These girls are present when you mock other women for their age. Young women ages 20-30 get bullied for having normal faces. “Oh my god i thought you were 50” at a woman who is clearly in her thirties.

These “helpful tips” how to not get wrinkles which include don’t lift your eyebrows, don’t emote in general, use anti-wrinkle straws, don’t forget to get botox on time.

Red light therapy, sleeping with your mouth sealed, in one position on your back so either side of your face won’t get squished and swollen.

But these little girls are funny, yeah, let’s mock them. Why don’t you mock the promoters of these ideas? Why don’t you mock billion dollar industries? 10-year-olds at Sephora are funny, I wonder if you find the absence of women with real faces on screens as funny