#this is such a mess i'm crying
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i've been tagged by @f1-giuki, @blueballsracing and @liamlawsonlesbian to share my nine favourite albums!! thank you loves <3 and please know i spent way too much time thinking about this. i go through phases with the music i listen to so it was incredibly hard to narrow it down to nine albums and ended up being a combination of all-time and current favourites (and honourable mentions because i cannot shut up). i probably forgot at least half of the music i know while making this.
(in no particular order)
1. favourite worst nightmare by arctic monkeys
all-time favourite. my most beloved arctic monkeys album. every time fluorescent adolescent starts playing, i feel an overwhelming sense of nostalgia for something i didn't even experience. no skips on this album.
2. rush! by måneskin
current favourite. about 3/4 of the songs on this album are currently in my most played songs on spotify. idk what kind of crack they laced this with, but it is fucking good.
3. stadtaffe by peter fox
all-time favourite. these songs were played everywhere all. the. time. when i was a kid. i remember sitting on the floor in the living room in front of the radio whenever it happened, just so that i don't miss anything.
4. on the way to wonderland by sunrise avenue
all-time favourite. my first ever favourite band that i latched on to when i was around nine because i heard fairytale gone bad on the radio so often and really loved it. went to the library and borrowed this album and out of style on cd so my dad could make me illegal copies at home lol. i genuinely still find samu haber's voice one of the most soothing i've ever heard.
5. pain remains by lorna shore
recent favourite. lorna shore has quicky become one of my favourite metal bands ever since will joined them and this album was on repeat for months after it first came out. it's so good.
6. les choristes soundtrack
all-time favourite. one of my favourite movies, has made me cry many times. thanks to the three separate teachers that made my class watch this film over the course of my time at secondary school. even more so because it really scared me after the first watch when i was 11 (i think it was mostly rachin and mondain who freaked me out lol).
7. master of puppets by metallica
all-time favourite. one of the albums of all time and that's a hill i'm willing to die on. my first metal album which my dad was very happy about. this has been in every music listening rotation since i was twelve.
8. doo-wops & hooligans by bruno mars
all-time favourite. another nostalgic one. this album and unorthodox jukebox were two of the cds my mom used to keep in her car and play all the time on longer drives when i was younger. for that reason, i also associate this music with my pediatrician (whom i love and wish i could still go to lmao).
9. gold album by lukas graham
all-time favourite. first of all, why was it so hard to find a picture for this? i got this cd for my thirteenth birthday after i heard drunk in the morning on the radio and was obsessed with it. then i spent hours and hours in my room just listening to it on repeat for the next few years. i actually haven't listened to any of these songs for a while, but i still love them dearly.
honourable mentions:
(in no particular order)
1. am by arctic monkeys
their best album imo.
2. out of style by sunrise avenue
mentioned above.
3. void by the rose
could've honestly put any album of theirs.
4. unorthodox jukebox by bruno mars
mentioned above.
since this took me an eternity, i'm sure everyone and their mother has been tagged by now so. if you see this and wanna do it, consider yourself tagged :)
#this made me realise once again that i'm not much an album person#looking at it now i also remember at least ten more albums i could've used#music#tag games#this is such a mess i'm crying
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Colin + his (many) love confessions for Penelope
#polinedit#polin#bridgertonedit#bridgerton#colinbridgertonedit#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#penelope bridgerton#otp: you're my mess#my stuff#bridgerton stuff#the fact that some people say that colin didn't really have a love confession when he so many and he kept telling everyone that he loved pe#like look at him#he such a lover boy#i prefer his soft and earnest love tbh#also sorry that the font looks so tiny but colin is a yapper and i couldn't fit the text otherwise 😭#i hope it's still legible#but if you click on the gif it should be legible#this took me FOREVER so if this flops i'm going to cry lol
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The Quite Nice and Fairly Accurate Good Omens Script Book Depiction of Gay Yearning by Neil Gaiman
#he's just like me fr#like if my ex-bsf had turned to 19 year old me like “go fight satan or i'm never speaking to u again”#u can bet your ass i would've gone “yes ma'am” and hauled myself up off the ground and towards certain death#eugh 19 year old me was a mess#like the physical embodiment of phoebe's bridge in moon song (you know the one. the dog one. the “oh and now im crying” lyric. yeah.)#crowley#aziraphale#david tennant#gomens 2#michael sheen#aziracrow#go2#good omens 2#gomens#good omens script book#good omens#queer#gay yearning#gay longing#good omens shitpost#shitpost
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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bookends !!! started with a kidnapping, ending with a kidnapping
#mr plankton#he kidnapped her so it's only fair that she gets her turn too#using humour to cope w the fact that the show's left me such a mess#not that i've been able to cry (bc i'm not alone); but otherwise;#it's going to linger for a good while after it ends#man🥲#i feel so bad for him and so so bad for her#after all of this she's going to be left alone again
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haha hey so apparently someone stole my whole fic... copy and pasted except for tiny things changed... here is the link to their """fic""" (sorry random person I had to steal the reblog from). they've since deleted the fic off their blog + deleted their ao3 + gone on a hiatus so..... that's cool and whatever....... but they have written a lot of other shit so... don't be a dick but maybe check that for funny business too...
#yall I am literally#I don't even know what to say LMFAO#their fic before they deleted it had more notes than mine....... like what.....#I've never had this happen before so I'm just.... in awe........#is leon similar to aki or something I don't know this man. who are you#it sucks so much too because that fic of mine#is probably my favorite fic I ever wrote#I poured so much love into it#so many little aspects of aki's character that I enjoyed fleshing out#and to just have it stolen#like if you stole a shitty drabble I wouldn't be as wounded but to steal 20k words of love.....#that's messed up man........#I'm laughing at this but also. crying inside a little#thank you to the person who told me about this because since they deleted it it would be really hard to know otherwise#yeah........... yeah.....
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I am SO grateful that ed and stede exist as characters exactly as they are. I'm so grateful for these two men who are traumatized and messed up and struggle to even like themselves, who are terrible at communicating, who make enough mistakes between the two of them to fill an entire ocean. I am so grateful to watch them struggle and be seen and be loved and reach out for the things they want and are maybe starting to believe that they deserve. I'm so grateful that the show lets them fall in love and get together exactly as they are, that it doesn't say they need to wait until they've become some unattainably perfect version of themselves before they have permission to have that. i am so grateful for ofmd
#ofmd#there are no other shows like this one#I'm so tired of media that repeats the same idea that you need to hit a list of predetermined therapy milestones (determined by who???)#before you can fall in love#I'm honestly tired of fic that does this with ed and stede too#because guess what#you can live in the 21st century with access to therapy and dsm diagnosis and a bunch of different medications and you can be doing all the#right things and still be a trainwreck!!!#putting in the work doesn't mean you're gonna become perfect and never have problem again any more than falling in love doesn't mean you'll#never have problems again#I'll forever be crying on my knees levels of grateful for the unique writing on this show#for saying that it's okay you can be a mess you can take one step forward and three steps back and you'll still always be deserving#of love and grace and forgiveness#you don't have to do anything to deserve you deserve it just because you exist#i love this show with my entire heart#alex watches ofmd
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Times they had to say goodbye — [4/4]
Pocahontas (1995)
#FINALLY part 2 of the final goodbye scene WOO!!#pocahontas (1995)#pocahontas x john smith#pocajohn#pocajohn so long and farewell#pocahontasedit#pocahontasgif#fyeahpocahontas#disneyfeverdaily#disneygif#disneyedit#disney pocahontas#disney john smith#pocahontas#john smith#queso*edit#queso*gif#now i could be wrong#i'm no expert on lip-reading#but i'm reasonably certain that john is saying ''adieu'' up there#and tbh that is messing me up a Lot hello why would you do that to Me specifically?#im not crying you're crying
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Oh, my love when will you come to look for me?
Tom McRae, Still lost | @catws-anniversary
#stucky#stevebucky#CATWS10#happy anniversary to the most epic love story in all of history <3#this is an absolute mess but asgdajshakd#i've been staring at it for too long#can't even tell where the mistakes are anymore but i'm sure i'll see them all once it's posted lmao#i just wanted to make a little something for my bois#eh#when in doubt: cry directly into the nearest pillow#*screams into the void*#rillers has feels
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Fanart for a certain scene in chapter 3 of Servant to a Different King by @tossawary that smacked me upside the head and said 'DRAW' (I am having such a good time, it is such a treat to read!)
#if tumbrl eats the image quality I'm going to cry but also if I size it down any further I will cry about THAT so we're gonna try this#and see what happens#plz fullview if the squished version looks like a mess#like it IS a mess I did not fully render everything because I got done with the faces and then like#remembered why I don't do full figure drawings ever#the reason is that I hate finishing things because it is Work and I have SO many ADHD brainweasels#sometimes I draw things#moshang#svsss#servant to a different king#by#tossawary#living a fanfic appreciation lifestyle#shang qinghua#mobei jun
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MHA didn't create some miracle way of helping others. It was never promised to be this way. And when it came to villains...
Spoilers for manga all the way to chapter 423.
The only way to get anything in life in MHA was to be born "normal" like everyone else and that way of thinking never left Izuku with Toga getting the same treatment she did before from everyone from her family to her "normal" classmates. It was Ochako who helped Toga even if just a little by lifting the weight of all the feelings that Toga had.
She couldn't save Toga the way one could save a civilian by saving them from harm. If it worked that way Dabi would've saved Toga even before Ochako could apologize for failing to notice Toga. She was so lazer focused on saving everyone else, that she was just another villain to stop, not a human.
Even if by the end of it Ochako helped Toga to deal with her grief, acceptance as it was wasn't something possible when a quirk makes you want to drink someone's blood from jealousy.
We got a bittersweet ending with Toga, in which she probably died from blood loss just like her double did in MVA. If it wasn't for Twice she would've died back then.
Giving away her blood for Ochako wasn't a redemption or a way to save Toga in the end, more as it was her being true to herself until the very end.
Just like Twice chose to stay with the League even if Hawks offered him a way to survive that battle. He refused and died protecting his friends who accepted him instead of choosing to betray them and accept Hawks' offer.
After Twice's death... It was a matter of time that more 'active' LoV members would join him as well. As sad as it is, we now can return to Izuku.
Who, after his time OFA-AFO quirk space, now wanted to help a "crying boy" he saw in Tenko just as before with Katsuki in chapter 1. He didn't forgive Tomura and didn't excuse the way he chose to solve his problems.
It didn't mean that Tomura would survive in their battle, even if Izuku didn't see killing others as a way to solve problems. He didn't understand Tomura, but he still wanted to try, and try he did.
The rest of this post was nothing more than a contextual prologue to understand that it's not the first time a hero failed to save a villain and in Twice's case we know that he died and his death was the reason Toga started thinking about her own possible death and Dabi finally revealed himself as Toya.
The goal of saving a "crying boy" never was an end-goal for Izuku in the Final arc, since helping Tomura deal with his feelings just left him hollow with a goal that clashed with Izuku's. As being a hero for villains meant destroying the world for them to help them live freely.
But that was before AFO resurfaced.
Sadly after that Tomura who was talking about making his own choices for a while now stopped doing that. Even if he still had a goal of helping villains and only villains, Tomura was almost gone. And his goals were now unreachable.
Izuku helped Nana who in turn kept Tomura from fading away entirely. In MHA there were countless situations where Izuku's help affected people by helping a different person to keep hope, All-Might being the first one and Nana being the last one at the moment.
Hollow after Izuku helped him to get rid of his hatred Tomura could do the only thing he did - accept the situation as it was.
Accepting AFO as his Sensei, accepting Stain's ideals and Overhaul's deal was the way he solved his problems. Just like Izuku had a problem of understanding something outside of his norm, Tomura was accepting too many things, which lead to his downfall after accepting AFO's quirk.
Just like Twice could've given up everything that he had for his friends so did Tomura.
With Izuku helping as much as he could let Tomura to finally rest as he wasn't really living ever since waking up in the hospital. With his body now affected by AFO's wishes instead of his own until the end.
In a way Izuku didn't succeed in his wish for Tomura to stop ever since PLF war arc. As he "kept fighting to destroy" no matter how hard Izuku tried to stop him.
The only thing he succeeded in was changing Tomura's mind about himself, instead of viewing himself as a monster he accepted that he was a human just like Izuku said. A "crying boy" who couldn't really destroy Izuku's hands in the end.
For a group of Villains who weren't supposed to get profiles of their own at the start of the series, League is slowly fading as the most memorable group that there was in MHA, getting backstories, their own Villain themed arc all the while being as human as anyone else.
As sad as their story is they were not "unlucky", they didn't need a happy false ending where they would need to change to be normal - they chose to live this way and they lived it to it's fullest.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#bnha analysis#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#toga himiko#mha twice#midoriya izuku#ochako uraraka#todoroki touya#dabi#spinner#shuichi iguchi#not art#While writing this I've been rewriting it time and time again#But by the end of it I just started crying because god... I didn't want them to end like this#Also I finally found the tracks that connect to the scene of Twice's death#Which may or may not have been a reason I started crying#Anyway the reason I wrote this was as simple as that - I read Twitter got sad and needed some way to cope#Because I'm getting sick from all 'oh they'll survive' yes HEROES might survive all of this VILLAINS would not#Magne died Twice died wnd Kurogiri literally became a cloud in the sky#I do hope that Spinner would be at least alive because leaving Mr. Compress alone with no sushi too is just too cruel#While writing this I suddenly found myself so frustrated with Izuku that my last tries to write this ended in a trashcan instead#it's so fucked up#To be a LoV stan and see how Class 1-A is getting the best ending they can with so much hope while LoV is... Dead :(#this is a mess
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I let the brain worms crawl around, so here's an art dump
#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#cole brookstone#ninjago geo#lostshipping#nya smith#lloyd montgomery garmadon#ninjago#my art#everytime new episodes come out I watched them and I'm just an emotional mess for the whole week#okay first I'm a strong beliver that Cole got hurt when he first arrived at the land of lost things#so at first he stays because he needs to rest/heal#and then he discovers about the hoarder so he decides to stay to protect the finders#and in the meantime you know geo andc ole discover that they kinda like each other#I don't think this vision of the events is any way shape and form controversial#you knon when you watch a character and you just start to cry?#this is me with half the cast#BUT ESPECIALLY COLE AND GEO#my fave actually got a boyfriend I'm emotional
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i love fingon so much just. he's so good and so reckless and he loves so fiercely it makes him do the most stupid shit, and in turn no one ever quite puts him first. I'm going to eat glass
#*mine#tolkien#the silmarillion#silm#fingon#turgon and gondolin. fingolfin and his despair. maedhros and his oath. aredhel and turgon. and so on and so FORTH. and YET#god. godddd#i'm fine it's fine I just need to lie down in traffic for a hot second#not even FINGON puts fingon first. he survives the helcaraxe and goes rescue maedhros#and i don't even mean he handles it gracefully i LOVE the idea of a fingon with a bit of an edge. who jumps head-first into danger#/because/ of all this. no one quite cares all that much cleary so why should he. he just wants to feel something so he might as well do som#unhinged fucking shit. move move move then at least you don't have to think so much#just. do you GET IT#screaming crying pls ignore me#these tags are a mess but this is what my brain has been like for a week straight so. yk#just. my guy :((
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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“You know where to find me… and I know where to look”
#Oh my god tv girl reference!!!!!!!1!1!!1!!1!1!#I started this SO LONG ago#but hey at least I finished it at some point#It’s not the BEST but. I refuse to keep messing around and overthinking it#I’m struggling man. AURGH#actually very proud of the hands can we all talk about the hands. Yeah. Let’s focus on that!!!!!! /j#I MISS THESE ASSHOLES EVERYDAY I HATE THEM!!!!!!!#tv girl#gruesome playground injuries#doug gpi#corey gpi#MILO ART#fanart#btw can we please ignore the terrible image quality.#yes i know it's like 5 pixels big BUT SHUT UP OKAY I'M GOING TO CRY GOD
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just. came across this panel and got unexpectedly and wildly emotional about aizawa becoming a dad. because like. he cares about his students, he's shown time and time again that he'll push them and fight for them against villains and the media and he'll go to his last breath to protect them but like. they're hero students and he's their teacher and he's tough and strict because he has to be to keep them alive. but then like--
it's morning and he's doing her hair. he's got the hair ties with the little baubles on them and he's doing her hair and she's been through so much crap and aizawa's never shown being demonstrably affectionate or enthusiastic around her the way that izuku and mirio are but like. he's been her dependable quiet shadow every time she's shown up in the manga so far, and he doesn't have to be strict or tough with her because what she needs isn't someone to teach her how to save others, it's someone that she can trust to be there when she needs, someone she can trust to do her hair with little bauble hair ties in the morning.
#i'm rambling i'm like incoherent#i'm sorry i literally just got to this panel and started? crying??#it's FINE i have more thoughts but they're all wrapped up in oboro and eri and how they both underwent experimentation that#remade them so much that they can't remember how to want things or like things or smile#and. how both of them are tied so inextricably to aizawa and aizawa doesn't even know about oboro yet at this point#but like. i want those two to meet#and i also want to explore how aizawa's survivor's guilt intersects with this whole mess bc like.#him becoming a dad--like everything else--is in some way tied up in that trauma#i jsut don't have words for it rn#aizawa shouta#eri bnha#tt reads bnha
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