#this is something ive wanted to write for a long time hahaha

[silvercap]

Ack those emojis don't work on my phone so: a bath for Leon perhaps? :3 up to you whether it's just him or with someone else...

Sure!! (Prompts)

‡: bath

"You look tense," Piers remarks, reaching out with his flesh hand to knead the taut muscle of Leon's shoulder where he hunches forward on the couch, glancing up when blue eyes turn to meet his own.

"Sore," Leon says, gaze flickering towards the living room window currently being pelted by autumn rain. Piers nods sympathetically, squeezing his shoulder. There's not much that helps on days like this, both of them far too familiar with the painkiller-diluting effects of past bioweapon infections. Piers has been coughing lately, too, his own achy body reminding him of its incapacity.

"Bath?" he asks. "I can go run it, set up the bath salts?"

"I can," Leon says heavily. He stands in a slow movement and heads for the hallway, Piers trailing in his footsteps with a sympathetic hum. They lull into a familiar rhythm as Leon turns on the tap and Piers finds the salts, steam filling the large bathroom as Leon gingerly pulls off his t-shirt to reveal the scarred expanse of his back. Piers runs a soft fingertip over the twisted flesh, settling his hand on the curve of Leon's hip as Leon turns to meet his gaze. He looks somehow embarrassed, a faint blush in his cheeks. "Will you... get in with me? I just, um..."

"Of course." Piers plants a kiss on Leon's cheek, pulling away to shuck off his sweater and comfortable pants. Leon's already stepping into the water by the time he's done, breaths tight in a way that tells Piers he's in a lot more pain than he's letting on.

The water stings slightly as Piers joins Leon in the large, two-person tub they'd just had installed last year, the warm aroma of bath salts and eucalyptus making him feel almost sleepy in the cool morning air. It's not often that they actually bathe together, the entangling of their legs somehow soothing as Piers sits down beside where Leon's gone limp against the slopes edge of the tub. His brow is furrowed, though his eyes are closed.

"Let me wash your hair," Piers decides, reaching for the little container he usually uses to rinse out the bathtub and dips the edge of it into the water, watching the way it streams into the sudden immersion. He helps Leon sit forwards and gently pours the warm water over his gleaming hair, smiling at the faint sigh Leon lets go of. He does it a couple more times until Leon is practically leaning against him for support, finally relaxed. The herbal scent of Leon's favorite shampoo fills the air as Piers pops the cap and squeezes some into his hand, working up a lather before he starts to massage it into Leon's scalp. Leon groans softly.

"That's nice," he mumbles. Piers squeezes his shoulder in answer, placing his palm on Leon's forehead as he rinses out the soap to protect his eyes from suds. He keeps his movements soft, soothing, taking his time to set the container aside and work a handful of conditioner into Leon's long, soft hair. Leon's body is heavy where he leans against Piers' chest, faint sighs escaping him whenever Piers kneads his scalp or gently works his fingers through the strands to keep them free of tangles. He doesn't respond while Piers pours several containers of water to wash out the thick soap, fingers floating so limply in the water that Piers thinks he's fallen asleep. His eyes are open, though, when Piers carefully maneuvers him to look---if only just.

"Here, baby," Piers says quietly, unable to resist pressing another kiss to Leon's forehead when he blinks sleepily. "Just rest for a second, okay?"

The room is warm enough that Piers doesn't mind stepping out onto the bathmat, quickly towelling himself off and throwing on the clothes he'd been wearing all morning. Leon goes easily enough, too---though once Piers wraps him in his own towel, his legs start to buckle enough that Piers guides him to sit on the closed seat of the toilet while he dries the streams of water spilling down soft skin. Leon's eyes are closed, now, torso hunched so that his abdomen bunches and his spine is tangible when Piers runs another pass of the towel down his back. He doesn't bother trying to wrestle Leon into any clothes, just wraps him up in the towel and goes to open the door, returning to cup Leon's head in his hands for a moment.

"I'm gonna pick you up," he says, to which a single eye slits open before it closes again as Leon nods and leans his head into Piers' ribcage. Piers smiles. "Just relax, baby, I've got you."

He slips his arms around Leon's back and under his knees, muscles flexing as he rises back to his full height. Leon's body is light, lighter than Piers thinks he should be, and the hardest part about carrying him is making sure his lanky limbs are tucked in enough that Piers won't slam them into a doorframe. The bedroom isn't far, either, Leon a warm, comforting weight in Piers' arms until he can be deposited atop the bedspread.

Leon blinks his eyes open as Piers pulls away the towel and shimmies the blankets out from under his heavy body, expression dazed and movements sluggish enough that Piers can tell he's more than halfway asleep. Piers pulls the covers up to Leon's shoulders and leans in to kiss his temple again, running soft fingers over his freshly-washed hair. He smiles, thick emotion running through him in a wave.

"Sleep, Leon," he murmurs as those glassy blue eyes flicker closed. "You've earned it."

[just-some-random-blogger]

Omg loved the tripled blurb !! It got me cackling thinking of Daemons smug smile hahaha Would you consider writing a follow up blurb, Daemon running after and trying to control 3 toddlers whilst Stark!reader is laughing making fun of him and his magic cocks handy work lol

✨Reality✨

[Blurb III for the Stark!Reader Universe]

Daemon Targaryen x Stark!Reader

Summary: "Yeah so, I fucked up," -Daemon (or more accurately, fucked around too much and found out)

Word Count: >200

Warnings: battered dad!Daemon (i think deserve), fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: I'm glad you liked it nonnie, and 'his magic cock's handy work' 💀💀💀 Daemon contemplating his life choices fr Tagging: @deniixlovezelda @pinksirensong @nyctophilic0vitnir Blurb II Blurb IV

"That's what you wanted didn't you," I snigger.

Daemon's ears ring as one of the crawling babies shriek in pure delight.

Two of them suddenly rip at his scalp, dangling their little arms on his long hair.

"I told you not to lie on the floor with them," I smile.

"Help."

I snort, "yeah," I rub my belly, "I don't think I will."

One of them pokes at his eye, and he cannot even pull away, as not only is his hair trapped, but then the shrieking child climbs onto his back as well.

"Ah, how sweet," I grin, watching from the edge of the bed, "I know. I shall call the royal painter to immortalize this."

Daemon calls my name as he attempts to unhook the fingers in his hair.

One of them slaps him.

"Good form!"

"Not helping!"

I sigh, "lucky for you," I pat my belly, "I might only be carrying one child this time."

Daemon sighs, contorting his hand behind him to rid of the babe on his back.

He feels something hot spread on all over him.

"Oh," I pinch my nose, "although the maesters say it is too early to tell- that is not going to come off your shirt- BELIDEA! PREPARE A BATH FOR MY CHILDREN AND THEIR FATHER."

"Fuck."

[mostlymaudlin]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

[wonuyun]

orv main story epilogue spoilers under cut

ch 517 (epilogue 1 - i)

i'm screaming into my fist as i write this. the moment kdj said yjh had a pale face... my heart dropped... no way...

and it was. orz (the 0th turn that wasn't even written but only briefly mentioned in flashbacks...)

get me out of here... i'm going to cry good bye

ch 518 (epilogue 1 - ii)

SCREAMING. oldest dream wasn't yjh's sponsor until the 3rd turn...

yeah okay... i know who it would be then...

and abfd being one of the constellations he could choose??

DKOS *thumps fist* i'm done. i'm done bye

the yjh glare is always there when kdj is present hahaha

ch 519 (epilogue 1 - iii)

HAHAHA yjh was really about to choose abfd

and he called kdj's modifier arrogant aksjdhfjskd

OH MY GOD

hsy my hsy my sooyoungie

they were so happy ToT can't even have half a chapter of bliss

she was testing him... oh my god...

ch 520 (epilogue 1 - iv) wo ai ni :hearthands:

okay here come the tears

han sooyoung... i want to give you the biggest hug ever

i don't even know how to explain what i'm feeling anymore

i just love this story and i love kimcom so much

ch 521 (epilogue 1 - v)

WHAT

okay i had a feeling sangah knew something

the confrontation... han sooyoung ;-;

fricking what. what the heck was that at the end

??? i'm scared. what (is this when he falls into the coma...)

ch 522 (epilogue 1 - vi)

GROUP REGRESSION.

GROUP REGRESSION??

GROUP REGRESSION

the kids talking to kdj :')

i'm punching my pillow (figuratively)

ch 523 (epilogue 1 - vii)

"Kim Dokja's world couldn't be found anywhere now." okay??? thanks so much... i will be so normal about this...

kdj telling bihyung he's here to repay his debt... you hear my heart breaking? yeah that's what that cracking sound was

jung heewon is still alive and with the original main team huhuhuhu

yoo mia is here too!!

fudge biscuits... kdj is literally disappearing... for good?? (edit: okay so his fingers regenerate, but they'll always be smaller than before)

he's sacrificing himself to "personally write the story that didn't exist in the original"

"eventually, yoo joonghyuk of the 0th turn had reached the final pages of the scenarios." <- this is hitting me so hard. ough

ch 524 (epilogue 1 - viii)

pacheonmaeng is such a fitting name -> 破天盟 literally translated is breaking sky alliance

*slams hands on table* WHAT ARE THESE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN DKOS AND-

oh wait no it's still 0th turn yjh, just a timeskip...

i'm so unwell

yjh has grey hair!! this man is getting old?? (edit: omg "life lived to its fullest" attribute... he won't live long...)

he married lee seolhwa *wipes tears*

wait- no- yjh don't say that...

he got to see his protagonist, his hero, his saviour, his role model grow old *sobs*

ch 525 (epilogue 1 - ix)

wow i'm full on sobbing now

he asked those questions in the end... he's perfectly happy but curious about who this mysterious constellation is

and since dkos can't pass on fourth wall to him, he has to regress... he has to regress 1864 times in order to meet kdj

the kdj from the beginning of orv :')

"just because i will forget about them, that doesn't mean they'll suddenly stop existing."

"they definitely continue to live in this world."

OTL i'm not recovering from this woo

"tell me, you fool. if i continue to regress, will i ever get to meet you again?" OH

oh...

oh

the quote is from this context????

omg this quote that has plagued me for so long. it's from this chapter. this scene.

HA. he remembers now?? his memories came back. i repeat, his 0th turn memories returned!!!

this group regression... will they ever find him...

[joesalw]

I personally think he is a lot more authentic and passionate about music than Taylor, and I think he threatens her to an extent.

You should read this. This anon made a good observation. On a later ask, they also mentioned Olivia Rodrigo over there. It was an interesting convo.

https://www.tumblr.com/ventbitch/733881434603913216/appreciate-the-welcome-something-is-so-clearly?source=share

@ventbitch

Anonymous asked:

Appreciate the welcome. Something is so clearly very wrong with a woman who has nothing better to do with her life but write about exes that she clearly has been picking herself. It's sad and very concerning to find a woman like her exalted in such a way when obviously she's the toxic one of all her relationships. This woman is so void of life experiences she can't think of anything to write about but revenge over exes. Like what on earth?!?!?! She just sang about it too. Like, she's a joke atp. And I didn't wanna believe it but her obsession of Harry Styles is insane. Oh my... I needed to let that out. Sorry. Oh my...

I realized this because I became a Harry Styles fan just recently (not a stan, just a regular fan) and while he had the Olivia-Venice fiasco, I realized that his PR game for Harry's House - just one album - was so good. It didn't seem PR but it was. With just one album, Harry was able to conquer all aspects of the industry which, I think, was something Taylor Swift didn't realise could happen.

He conquered music, charity, concert scene, movies, even his lovelife all at the same time. He broke a lot of records. His third album came as a shock to many because it was very different from his previous works but it also is really really really good. If you'll notice, Taylor just followed his PR game. And she suddenly became obsessed with breaking every record too. 17 years after she's been in the music industry. She's putting everything in everybody's faces that she broke some record or two or three or whatever. And most of it is because she's really pushing her fans to buy everything which Harry never did. Her rerecords should be a way for her to thank her fans but instead she keeps telling them to buy more and more and more. The greed and shamelessness is unbelievable. She really wants to prove how bad her talent is. Even with his charity works, Harry gave unprecedented donations but Taylor couldnt stand that so she had to give cash to her drivers and have that shoved in all of our throats dominating Harry's numbers for her charitable works. When I was seeing all of this, I was shocked.

She can't act properly because she doesn't have that talent and instead of working on it, she had to get past SAG strike just to get her concert tour film out and make lots of money. The ticket prices were astronomical is what ive gathered. Because DWD made good money, she had to make a good one too. And My Policeman received its own accolades also. And then the Matty Healy stupidity. There was an article that came out about Matty Healy going against Harry Styles that even I, a new fan, didn't appreciate because I don't even know who Matty Healy is. After that, something must have happened because she let Healy go asap. Then looked for another guy. Kelce. His latest photo from Argentina leaving seemed he's beginning to realise she's no fun at all. This is considering they just kissed very publicly.

You see my desperation? Hahaha! This is long now. I was beginning to enjoy Harry styles and learning about PR powerplays and she comes along to show what her money can buy and how cheap she really is as a person. That little girl in her 34 year old body is insane. She's like that horror movie, i forgot the title. The girl who is really old? She needs therapy, I think. I hope her money gives her the right help she needs because she's making me vomit now.

[shadesofdeviant]

For the fanfic asks … all of them? 😁

HAHAHA Ginger! I mean...you said you'd ask for all of them XD So...I guess I'll answer them all XD.

🍄How do you come up with ideas for your stories?

A variety of ways, sometimes I get inspired to write an AU based on an episode of a show, or a novel etc. Or sometimes my brain just pops ideas into my head.

🍉Are you a pantser or a plotter?

I am very much a plotter. It's also why I don't often get much written because I need SO much to be planned before I can write.

🍒What genres/tropes do you find yourself using most often?

Fluff, 5+1, Domestic Slice of Life, AU's - I am an absolute sucker for AU's.

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

As much of a problematic person as they were, Anne Rice's first 3 vampire chronicles books were the books that got me thinking...oh I really wanna do this kind of thing. J R R Tolkien's descriptions very much shaped my own (i used to write horrifically long paragraphs). Neil Gaiman inspired my shorter style, quirky dialogue with inside jokes aimed at the reader.

🥕What's your favorite fic you've written, and why?

My favourite fic is a toss up between "Your Arms Are Like Corset Strings" (9-1-1, Buddie) and "Rainbow Coloured Monstrosity" (9-1-1: Lone Star, Tarlos).

The rest I'm gonna put under a cut haha or this post is gonna get SUPER long.

🥨How do you overcome writer's block?

When I work it out I'll tell you haha. I don't think I've ever managed beyond just pushing through and hate-smashing at the keyboard, or just waiting for the inspiration to come back by itself.

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

Honestly as cliche as it might sound, all comments I get are my favourites. I couldn't pick any specific ones, I enjoy comments so much.

🌭Do you have any writing rituals to help 'get in the zone'?

I use a lot of notebooks, I also get really sad and make powerpoint presentations of planning. Then I either listen to music, or put on some series that Ive seen enough times that it can be background noise.

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

I HC a few things for different people but they're not exactly huge things, but have a few examples. I headcanon that Alec Hardy is a huge fantasy novel fan. I headcanon that Eddie Diaz has chronic pain in his shoulders. I headcanon that Aziraphale hates the scent of pine.

🍭What's been your most challenging story to write, and why?

I'm writing a huge multi-part reincarnated soulmates AU, in which the soulmates meet each other throughout history and have different names etc. and it's...taking me soooo long. And honestly it's just because it so long and has so many historical points I need to research hahaha.

🍬What's a genre/trope you've never written, but might in future?

I'm...not sure tbh. Theres a lot of genre's/tropes I don't like or I'm not comfortable with so won't ever touch. But the ones I do like, I've attempted or I am in the process of attempting.

🍩What advice would you give to aspiring fic writers?

Just go for it. Find something you really, really want to see written and write it, because at the end of the day you write for yourself first and foremost. If you try to write to please everyone you'll stress yourself out too much.

🌶How dependent are you on feedback, good or bad?

Bad feedback is never warranted. I do not write for profit so therefore do not need amazon style reviews. Nor do I ask for constructive criticism. I appreciate if someone wants to tell me they like what I wrote though.

🥑What are you currently working on?

I am currently working on a bunch of things: Doctor Who x Good Omens crossover - The events of "The Giggle" with Crowley tagging along. Broadchurch Whump - 2 entries, poor Alec is getting tormented. Broadchurch x Good Omens x Rab C Nesbitt crossover - Alec, Crowley and Davina are identical triplets. Shenanigans ensue. Buddie birthday gift for someone dear to me. Buddie soulmates AU.

🍹How do you decide a story is ready to post?

I finish writing it haha. I let it come to a natural stopping point and then try not to over think it.

🍊What's a story that changed significantly from its initial idea to the final draft?

My reincarnated soulmates AU. I've changed so many historical points and condensed some and completely scrapped a whole half of it haha.

🥠What's your approach to world-building?

Powerpoints. Powerpoints and mind maps haha. If I'm going AU I will plan it like I'm Tolkien creating middle earth haha XD.

🍎How do you prioritize which stories to work on when you have multiple ideas?

I don't. My brain goes brrr and tries to plan all of them at once to the point I can't work on ANY of them haha.

🌮How do you balance the desire to write for yourself versus the desire to write for an audience?

I have been writing on and off since I was 13, and I used to write entirely for the audience and it stressed me out. Whilst I enjoy audience responses and like to receive comments confirming that they enjoyed what I wrote, if I don't like it, I won't post it, but if I enjoyed what I wrote I will love it regardless.

[1d1195]

IF YOU WANT TO ONLY PLAY 1D AND THEIR SOLO WORKS AT YOUR WEDDING YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT IN THE WORLD i heard an orchestral version of “falling” once and wowwwwwww that thing was BEAUTIFUL ikkk it’s not really a love song 😭😭 BUT STILL i could totally see someone walking down the aisle to that. (potential orchestral songs: sign of the times, and infinity; also ‘black and white’ and ‘i want to write you a song’ were made to be played at a wedding) but seriously if i ever heard abt someone only playing one direction band and solo songs at their wedding i would think they’re the coolest person in the world

I LOVE HOW YOU POINTED OUT MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE SONGS OMG totally real abt going off the grid if that song was about you, i said that about “the smallest man who ever lived” by taylor swift because omggggg😶😶😶 when i first heard it i was SHOOK😭 i was watching tv the other day and this song started playing and it reminded me sm of you !! it’s called “Big Jet Plane (Acoustic)” by Angus & Julia Stone

GIRL I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MOST RELAXING & DETOXING SUMMER OF ALL TIME YOU DESERVE IT🫡🫡🫡 spending time with your friends sounds great !! even if it is dinner on weeknights (which sounds like a blast to me idk) IVE BEEN READING YOUR POSTS ABT YOUR BOYFRIEND GETTING INTO WRITINF AND ITS SOOO FUNNY TO ME HAHAHDAHABAH “i don’t think you like writing that much.” SIR ???? HAVE YOU READ PROTECTION !:!;?3??—?-?-? OR ANY OF YOUR WORKS FOR THAT MATTER BABDJSHAH and the whole dialogue thing 😭😭 girl how do you not bust out laughing ???😭😭

things have been quiet on my end too, after the wedding i’ve literally just been home at the time lol one of my closest friends broke her phone so i haven’t even been talking to anyone much butttt im hoping to hit the bookstore over the weekend so do you have any recs ? what are your favorites ?

hope you have a great weekend sam, love you !!!! <333

~🎶

In case my blog wasn't obvious I Want To Write You a Song is one of my FAVORITE songs of 1D I think I would cry like a baby if I heard it at a wedding. But I also think I can only reserve it for my marriage to Harry (it's a song for us). My funeral is also just everyone going to be sitting there and listening to 1D and solo albums. It's how I want to be honored. I think I would spontaneously catch on fire if I heard one of those songs at a wedding--Black and White especially.

Taylor is so real for that--good for her. I've been listening to Big Jet Plane for the last twenty minutes or so! It's really sweet. Very love at first sight of them 👀 I think I could do something with it! 💕

my bf hasn't a CLUE that I'm a "writer." It's really hard to keep a straight face sometimes. I have to tell him things like I took a creative writing class in high school (I didn't) when I want to suggest ANYTHING to help. But honestly, I think he's a really good writer on his own. Prone to overthinking it. I usually just reference some of my favorite books and such. I would kms if he read one of my stories tbh. This is like a diary for me. I don't want anyone I know in my personal life to know about it 😂

I like to do NOTHING on my weekends. But other people don't feel that way I guess. Idk hahaha I'm just a little different I guess heheheheI just hit the bookstore myself! For once I didn't buy anything--a miracle really. But I do have some suggestions. I made this post when someone asked about book recs before. I stand by this list COMPLETELY. But I can add a few more as well!

Normal People by Sally Rooney -- the actual way the book is written is a little confusing tbh (no quotation marks during dialogue) but it really holds up to the show as well. Not sure if you've seen it but I would highly recommend both.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow -- a little long at times but I overall enjoyed it! Cool premise and I thoroughly enjoyed the relationships between the sisters and such.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey -- one of the hardest books I've ever read, but actually really good. The movie was pretty accurate to it as well if I recall correctly. It was pretty sad though so don't read it if you're having a good time.

That's all I really got right now. I probably have more to recommend but I've been bringing books I finish that I don't plan on rereading my work and leaving them for other people to take to clear room on my bookshelf. I also give the ones I DO want back to my sister to read so we have something to talk about hehehehe

Hope you enjoy the bookstore! Let me know what you get!

xoxo

P.S. it's a guilty pleasure of mine but I read this book My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick the MC's name is Sam and she falls in love with the boy next door and there is a LOT of drama as well but the falling in love part is... 👌 it's a YA and came out in like 2012 and I'm putting it here in the P.S. because it's been years since I've read it, but I've never read a book where my name was the MC's name. But I think about it a lot. It's in a box under my bed along with other favorite novels of mine from my YA adventures that I can't part with. (Also, a quick Google Search says you can't buy it in Barnes and Noble--at least not near me) but I wanted to recommend it anyway.

[kaebedom-me]

Im not sure if you're open for requests rn but i am so inlove with your stories with the poly bois haha, (youre actually the only one ive seen really write for it and youre also the one who dragged me into liking it so thank you hahaha)

BUT anyways would it be alright if you could write something with childe and kaeya in a modern!college! au where perhaps the gn!reader has been secretly bullied for yknow, taking the two, most sought after, bois in the uni? But the readers stubborn and keeps it to themselves till maybe the bois notice a bruise of sorts or smth? 👁👁

sorry if this was long but have a good day!!

i lOVE this overused trope and aaa I'm so glad you enjoy they!! i think they're the best to this day they're my strongest main :')

if i were reader i'd honestly be thriving and be rubbing it in people's faces like hah sucks to be you bitch

maybe reader is like that uwu i also get that sometimes it's hard to deal with constant mean things being said about you uwu

i kinda see you not wanting to tell childe and kaeya about it because they won't let it slide so easily, they are protective over you after all

also you wouldn't put it past them to not do anything stupid drastic about it so you kinda just keep it on the down low hoping it'd pass you know

but boooy were you wrong, for the sake of plot I'm saying these people are relentless and lifeless and have nothing else better to worry about in their busy college life and the bullying just kept coming LMAO

it started out small, people not wanting to be in groups with you then maybe acquaintances started exclude you from activities the verbal bulling didn't come til after a while

the boys arent stupid they aren't blind and oblivious about it but you never made it out to be a problem so they don't want to risk making you upset by interfering

childe would call out someone for being mean to you though and that usually steers people away for a while

kaeya doesn't try to bully people back but he can't help the things his silver tongue spits out sometimes, ain't no one is gonna disrespect his s/o in front of him

hates that you're bummed about it for a while so will try to make it up to you by bringing you out of dates outside of the town do other uni goers don't see

til one day these high school bullies started to grow some balls, saw that the boys were protecting you a lot and just had to jab at you when they weren't around, some were brave enough to make a passive aggressive comment around them too v rude

i feel? they'd try to interfere like subtly? like want to deter the attention from you but somehow made it worse for awhile HAHHAHAHA

like leaving hickeys on you was not a good idea because you were tripped over by some fucking bitch when they saw it. they even made a comment about how humongous your insect bite was

you'll prolly try to stop them from doing anything weird to you for a while

it really started something when the tripping happened. maybe you still try to be meek about it and hope it'll go away but people are just that free you know? power trip or whatever

they just took it as encouragement and started to corner you while you were going around uni

that's when things became physical enough for childe and kaeya to notice

they'd hate themselves for letting it come to this because you are miserable and they could've done something much sooner and maybe they should've umu

will make you cough up names of the people who have been physically abusive and if you don't they'd be a lil frustrated and disappointed

i see it mostly being like them interpreting it as you don't trust the two of them enough to share your troubles with

they'll think they haven't been attentive enough or maybe they haven't been doing anything to let you know that you can lean on them for support

(but it's actually your brain that's stupid and stubborn umu)

but it's ok because it's time to fix everything so you can be happy again

childe and kaeya have enough friends and intel to know snuff out the morons that's been bothering you

and if it happened to be someone they used to associate with they'll prolly going to be chewed out by kaeya and beat up by childe

i wanna say they gather evidence and send it to the bullies' respective profs but i think they're more the type to settle this on the down low and make people really regret what they've done to you

they do gather evidence and send it school and put the info public to ruin people's lives but that's not until they got their revenge uwu

they type to go and confront the bullies uwu what you can't take what you dish out? childe and kaeya can be even meaner bullies too if they chose to but instead they use their charm for good smh

will scare bitches into never wanting to set foot outside of their room again

but won't do anything drastic enough to draw attention to them, they're better than these people ofc

childe and kaeya can be a very scary combo and you wouldn't want to piss them off. they're both schemers and nasty

one will break your bones while the other would break you emotionally uwu all for shits and giggles because that was what seemed to get them off when it was you

when all is said and done and they've completely ruined your bully's life they'll come back to you for a long talk

wants to know whats up and wants to make sure you don't feel like you have to carry something like this alone again

pampers you a ton

if you're like sdfalfgh about them handling it their way you're gonna have to deal with it because it was the only way

(it wasn't they were just in a bad mood because you were sad)

they'll!! reassure you a ton too!! and talk enough to uncover why you handled it the way you did

they want to be there for you and want you to rely on them for things like these!

also you made them worry a whole fuck ton so you better apologise!!!!!

soft make up and reassurance sex tho :bottom emoji: because you three were really hurt during this time

[wifiwuxians]

quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

[taelme]

heyy, how's life treating you these days? i just wonder what you're up to bc it's been so long since your last update

ive been pretty busy actly!! more than that i think its just been a period where writing hasnt really been a top priority for me! i'm not sure when i'll get back to it, but i do wanna take my time with it cause ultimately i want it to be something healing/enjoyable for me too :) but every now and then i've been refining little plot points for my johnny wip! cause i decided to restart on it n take a diff direction with some of the scenes :) but i hope u guys dont think im never gna write again HAHAHA just bear with me! just wanna enjoy what i have going on for me rn too :)

[victoriousscarf]

sorry if this is out of the blue, but i was wondering how you come up with your fic titles? they're always so excellent

Aw, thank you! This is so sweet!

The basic answer is I spend a lot of time muttering to myself and writing multiple lines into the title until I have one I don't hate hahaha but usually I like starting with either a couple of words or images I want to try and use, and put them together until something looks right. (I joke I used to write poetry and now I get those instincts out in fic titles lol). Sometimes I'll pick out a line or image from a poem or quote and mess around with those, sometimes it's just a single word or two I want to have.

Longer answer with examples/thought process below.

For example, for "covet not the feel of gold or taste of blood" I wanted the words "covet" and "gold" but not together. (Not the least because this image). Then I was like oh let's toss in a third main word and see how it feels when arranged. I think that one only took me about 3 tries, which isn't too bad for me. Sometimes I'll take a few goes at like the first half, and then the second half takes longer but that one got pretty cohesive once I figured out "blood" was the third word.

"leave your secrets and kiss the whiskey from my lips" was the same: I wanted secrets and I wanted whiskey and I played around until I got it. Then the second one "Secrets are in the Whiskey and the Barrels are Rolling Out of Bound" was the same idea, using secrets and whiskey to tie it together.

Then there are some quotes that are pretty straight forward, like "Starlight from the Gutter" is a play on Oscar Wilde: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Other times I just straight up quote a play or poem but usually I try to do a play on it instead.

"Amethyst Should Not be Set in Gold" was perhaps one of the most straight forward too because I knew I wanted gold and amethyst and the negative in there so it was really easy to be like oh that. And of course the story prominently features exactly what it says should not happen lol.

How lyrical I'm trying to be also depends. Some series are pretty basic titles and some are like well I've started being all dramatic on them so I have to keep it up.

For "the forest is dark and deep and ive seen you here before" I based the first story off a Robert Frost poem+the imagery of "seen you before" to reference the time travel bits, (the second time I've used "stopping by the woods on a snowy evening" actually) so I also used Robert Frost (with a side of Jean Rhys' alternate title for Wide Sargasso Sea because I had just read that book the first time and was feeling obsessed) for the second story, "the ancient sea returns to where we have wrecked upon the weeds." I knew I wanted ocean imagery for the 2nd story for symbolic reasons after using the forest for the first one, and that was probably the longest it took me to come up with a title because I have a whole page of alternate versions.

However for all the side stories in that series I'm winging it, though I'm trying to capture the same sort of rhythm as much as possible. "there's tumbleweed in my heart where love was supposed to be" might be my favorite because I was trying to capture the way Fenris feels in Act 3 right after "Alone" and have that really melancholy longing. That his heart feels like tumbleweed, alone and unmoored across the great plains sort of feel. But also that where there is one thing of tumbleweed, there's often a whole pack of it just over the horizon and you're not quite as alone as you think--

So yeah, it's basically image, line, or word, and playing around with rhythm and combination! Reading a ton also probably helps. Shout out to the poetry teacher in the art camp I went to in 7th grade for making me obsessed with that all.

Hope that helps at least answer my thought process a little! A ton of people also use song lyrics instead of poetry, which I will sometimes do too ("Only Break What's Yours" from Apres Moi "You can't break that which isn't yours/I (uh) must go on standing/I'm not my own, it's not my choice") so it's just I think about finding what sort of vibe or words you want to use and trying to act like you're writing a free verse poem with them.

[coiled-dragon]

sage, edelweiss 💜

Random Get-To-Know-Me Asks!

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

That's a really hard question because all mediums of art are so impactful and play a role... I think I'd have to lean towards Music though. Despite the fact I draw and that fiction writing is a very close second, music has just... Always been so important. Something about audio stimulation and how its always always been necessary for me to really Do Anything, and how broad the variety of music there is.

Ive always said even as an artist and a writer, I would rather go blind that deaf haha. I wish I could really explain it, but maybe its because I can take in and admire music more easily that illustration or writing, or how sometimes I can play an artist and feel every pure emotion drag me to the floor... I love music.

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

Haha honestly? It was a rebrand for my art! I had been going by the name 'Kialish' everywhere (a name I had plucked from a novel in high school and loved so much that I carried it for near a decade) but I wanted something to be more like... 'this is my BRAND this is my STUFF you will see this name and KNOW' and it was around the time a lot of my other friends were rebranding! I noticed a trend tbh how we veered from whatever our old names were and moved towards names that fall under this equation: [action OR adjective] + [noun/typically an animal].

I truly don't think we all did it on purpose, but it was so funny to see how it played out. I wasn't even doing it on purpose when I chose mine.

But I chose 'CoiledDragon' because Dragons were what I started drawing with the intent to improve, and one of my older characters was a water/sea dragon who is very long, and I thought of her coiling like a big snake. And thus, my new alias was born hahaha

[goodfully]

kinda just wanted to ramble about "the idiot" by dostoyevsky before i actually start reading it! ive only read the introduction by the translator (richard pevear) at the moment but ahh my goodness. most of this is probably obvious and known facts about the book, but since i havent read it nor know much about dostoyevsky, im genuinely just really excited hahaha

the painting "the body of the dead christ in a tomb" by hans holbein the younger was mentioned to have really impacted dostoyevsky.. and ofc also for the book. i hadnt seen it, or heard of it actually, until then, and goodness.. its.. intense. idk if thats a good word to describe it, but i get why dostoyevskys wife thought he was about to have another epilepsy attack after staring at it for a long time without moving.

i think the big thing to dostoyevsky about the painting was "can you still believe in god if you saw the disfigured corpse of christ? can you still believe hed resurrect?" i mean, as someone who isnt christian, thats such a crazy and interesting thing to think about. like the contrast between our social reality and our beliefs about the divine. for dostoyevsky tho, considering what (i think) he believed in, this makes it even more interesting... like to write a book that discusses that painting, that had confronted your beliefs with something so extreme it leaves you pale and shocked. but getting over how youd feel seeing that painting would make your beliefs even stronger right?

anyway, i kinda already knew that the protagonist prince myshkin was to be a christ-like figure. like what if god were a man, just a man who would die like depicted in holbeins painting, and stay dead? even if he was perfect and ideal, but powerless?

the introduction also said a few things about rogozhin and ippolit and how they are defined in relation to that painting (along with prince myshkin), as well as how they are prince myshkins doubles? i dont know anything about the book and its other characters so far ofc, but im excited to meet them both!

unfortunately am still really busy for quite a few more days, or maybe for months? it was a nice break, but im excited to start grad school soon! ive just been packing these days... everything feels messy and im exhausted, but i should be able to start reading the book soon! ive had the copy in my hands for a few days already but have had too much going on to sit down and read it, however, i should be able to read it during my flight tmr! im excited to read this book hahaha i dont know why, i feel more excited to read this than i did for the brothers karamazov.

speaking of grad school... my old philosophy professor emailed me stuff to read (just intro philosophy things and about spinoza hahaha), which honestly made me really happy! but goodness, theres so much to read... and i know once school starts, ill be needing to read a lot for my classes too. part of me hopes to finish reading the idiot before my classes start.. but its unlikely hahaha

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

I want to write a post about how I hate that you have to dress up to go to the doctor to be treated like a person, but because this is the internet I know how this goes ("well ACTUALLY, you don't! dress how you want! it doesn't matter!") and it is tedious.

Also very America centric but hey. remember that I live in an affluent part of a conservative state.

There is no nice way to say this. If you dress kind of alt-y, be that alternative fashion or subculture or gender identity or sexuality, most of those markers don't set off the bigotry you might assume.

it's that the professional class thinks that you're poor. And if the doctor thinks you're poor--HAHAHA, healthcare?!?! you think you get healthcare, PEASANT?! you don't!

A long time ago I was 23 and very obviously dying and the ER would not take me. A more adult-y adult in my life sighed, took out all my piercings, fished a button up out of her trunk. she put my glasses back on my face even though my head hurt and my vision swirled so bad I could barely see. she took off my rainbow wristbands and my skull rings. she hid my cool bi girl haircut under a hat. my ataxia ridden ass had to be button upped in that shirt by my beloved (my fingers didn't work) and half carried back to the ER. I might have been bridal carried back to the ER. I don't really remember.

this whole process took maybe 20 minutes.

but then! guess who looked like a respectable college student?! guess who got admitted into the ER because she has having OBVIOUS STROKE SYMPTOMS?

I spent two weeks in the neuro ICU. I had emergency brain surgery.

I want you to understand: I was just a little too punk and maybe a teensy bit maybe gay to live. A little bit too probably poor. They would not even admit me to the ER before my lil parking lot make over.

When I say my symptoms were obvious, I mean they were OBVIOUS. cross eyed, couldn't walk--worst fuckin' headache of my entire life, as you'd guess.

and just.

it was bad.

so anyway. I'm salty.

And the problem is that this is one of those liminal spaces, walk between worlds thing. I know that it's the poverty markers because I am always looking unlike the thing I was raised as. My father is a retired ambassador--this does me no good. It does my stepsister much good. My beloved's family is well monied and he refuses to accept a cent from them, so the house we live in is more modest than the one his sister lives in.

Our friends are mostly people we met either in undergrad or during that age and of a certain SES. Which we also are--mostly--which we look like we are, because we are, except for how we're also not because there's something about the upbringing that you never lose, something in how you talk no matter how good your code switching is.

That is: if I "dress up" to go to the doctor, I am treated like an affluent person. I am treated kindly and respectfully, offered prescription drugs with no suspicion, referred to other departments for testing, and verily, my complaints are valid.

(rx drugs including painkillers! including my ADHD meds! including a variety of ADHD meds, where if you don't look like a respectable upper middle class or above person, the pharmacist treats you like a criminal!)

If I do not dress up to go to the doctor--and I mean if I roll in wearing my batman tee and some jeans; I don't even mean dressing like the slutty goth tramp I love to pretend to be--I do not get referrals or prescriptions. Everything is assumed to be my fault, if it's acknowledged to exist at all. Ear infection? Nope. You're making up. Stroke symptoms? It's all the drugs you obviously did. Crippling ovarian pain? You're just trying to scam us for more drugs. Oh you're allergic to morphine? Liar. You're just trying to scam some GOOD drugs.

[here I projectile vomit over the poor nurse who put an IV with a morphine derivative in my arm like 30 seconds ago]

[my body may or may not also break out into hives]

and it's just so tedious and it's such dystopian garbage. it's absurd and obscene and actually evil that we have such marvelous medical care that's so fucking IMPOSSIBLE for most people to access while it would still do them some good.

Mine is the guilt of the shapeshifter. If I play the game, it works. I have the ability to play the game--up to a point.

(But I am playing, and it is not natural. I don't have the right done hair, the right mani-pedi upkept nails, the tailored to fit wardrobe, the luxury by default shoes. that hasn't been my life for a long time and it was never my life as an adult so I don't know how to do it habitually. It's ridiculously resource intensive and even if I do my best there's only a certain threshold of respectability I can hit. There's so much of it that I just don't understand.)

(I want you to understand that I am not even particularly good at this game, and it has layers.)

What about everyone who can't play the game? Who are also frankly lied to, continuously, that the game doesn't exist? What about them? What about my fucking friends, actually? What about literally everybody else? Why do they have to be treated like shit and then literally fucking die if something goes wrong?

But at the end of the day, also, what can I do? I put on the pale pink high neckline dress. I put on the modest shoes. I use the correct type of voice, the right accent, so rigid in my mouth I can't slip into my mother tongue when I hear the custodians talking as they go down the hall. I go get my knee looked at. I explain I do Important Athletic Sports at [Brand Name Bougie Ass Gym]. I get the x-rays and the painkillers instead of a lecture on my weight or my activity choices. I have a lovely and pleasant experience. I am treated like a human being.

A grand and lovely time until I make it back to my car and collapse in a heap, exhausted and angry because this is all such BULLSHIT.

(what about my brother, halfway across this big country, who can't play the game?)

And so many people still think the game doesn't exist.

I don't know, you guys. I dunno. I don't know what my point is. I am sorry it is like this. I don't know what to do about it. It should not be like this. I don't use the word lightly but I do think it is actually really fucking evil that it's like this.

[just-some-random-blogger]

oh hello love! hope you remember me) it's been a pretty long time, sorry. happy new year, btw! how are you? how are your mental state? what about "Waiting For A Lifetime", i absolutely LOVE it! (no it wasn't inspired by that moodboard. i just wanted to see something like modern daemon but with the undying love? and added something to make some plot but your sexy brain made something so much more greater. thank u sm) i really can't describe everything i feel right now in english? it's just SO MUCH more than love and purest adoration! you made something bloom inside of me. i cried and for me it's the mandatory criteria of a good story. you made it feel so real? (if it makes sense) maybe the idea is cliche and cringey but you made the most fascinating fic out of it!! this inner conflict when the reader finally meets daemon? my soul of a person who works with analysing literature a lot is crying. this drama with aegon and him being a really pretty boy? my 'pretty boys lover' soul is crying. this soft daemon who's so eager to save his wife in the beginning? my 'desperate for love' soul is crying. it's the real masterpiece. and how daemon didn't remember the reader but (idk if you were inspired by my ask or it just felt right for you but) felt and this bond that just was felt?? i want to kiss your sexy sexiest brain and praise your writings and you for everything you do. (yes every writing of yours is soso beautiful i'm choking) i was going to ask if you've thought about writing part 2? but realised it's somehow works just like it is? yes i'd still be really happy to read part 2 but it's totally your choice. depends on your mental state, your will and just you? i'd be just glad to know that you've received it and know how much i love this, your sexy talented brain and you! thank you! for writing it! thank you if you want or not to ever write part 2! thank you for just writhing! thank you for you! stay hydrated, eat well and sleep tight! take care <3

NO BUT WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS SO EXCITED AND SO TOUCHED AND I HAD TO HOLD MYSELF BACK FROM HUGGING MY SCREEN LEST I BREAK IT AND NEVER GET TO WRITE FICS ON PC EVER AGAIN

HAPPY NEW YEAR I AM WELL THOUGH ANNOYED BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HAVING ACNE BREAKOUTS EVER SINCE I MOVED AND I HATE IT I THINK MY DAD WAS RIGHT I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM 😭😭😭

MENTALLY i might be sharpay ^^^ but thats just cause im dramatic though lovely loves like you come around and make my heart go

(which is a good Squidward scream btw)

NAH LIKE I HAD TO GRAB MY PILLOW AND HUG IT AND SQUEAL INTO IT AND HUG IT SOME MORE, I WAS IMAGINING IT WAS YOU MODERN!DAEMON NONNIE 😭😭😭

Like you have no idea how invested I was in this prompt of yours when i saw it. Its neither cringey or cliche to me (ok maybe it is cliche but that's fine haters gon hate) You have absolutely no idea how invested I AM in it now i nearly wooshed through the second chapter bUT IT JUST WOULDN'T END and now ive trapped myself into writing a p3 i think 😭😭😭😭 not that im actually complaining im g

Im surprised you weren't inspired by the mood board i reblogged lololol HAHAHA thats cool i was a bit inspired by it so 🫶🤣

Im so so glad you recognized the inner conflict 🫶😭 not to be that person but as a writer, i always assume my readers are dumb, just cause ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ WHAT IF THEY ARE AND NO ONE GETS IT AND IN TURN IM ACTUALLY THE DUMB ONE FOR MAKING SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY NO ONE GETS 😭😭😭 I TAKE I BACK NOT DUMB JUST SLOW NO ONES DUMB HERE so yeah i appreciate that it was clear or evident there was an inner conflict and not that she didnt want to see him idk idk i mean reread the fic again (which made me fall in love with that world all over again) and thought i did a pretty good job explaining everything but like 😭 idk man u never know

IM ALSO SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED MY PRETTY BOY AEGON 😭 to be completely honest with you, he was so crusty inside and out in the show i didnt think much of him, but then i found out his actor was an absolute babe inside and out and i was like HELLO HUBBAHUBBA AWOOOGAAA

Im also really glad you liked soft!daemon. Idk i have been writing really darkly for him that i feel like i have shaved a lot of his humor and his wit and the fiery love he has for his family. Idk idk daemon is not a good man but hes also not necessarily bad thus the morally grey hottie we absolutely simp for. I felt a bit apprehensive with making him so vulnerable but i was like, yeah fine its a fic whatever i am the law here 🤠

I was definitely inspired by your prompt to make daemon not know who reader is!! I actually pondered deeply on whether or not i would go through with that and i think i even spun a wheel for it lol HAHAHHAHA IDK I DON'T REMEMBER. But yeah, they have a magic connection, literally, so Daemon had to at least recognize the feelings his past self had. That'd be too cruel i think to not add lol

So yeah if it wasnt clear, already i definitely am writing (almost finished with it in fact) a p2. I hope you come back to read it. Not to overestimate myself but i might be done with it tomorrow lol.

I am so so happy you came back to tell me your thoughts on my fic. I would love it if you did the same for the next chapter 🥺👉👈 pretty please.

ALSO ITS SO FUNNY THAT YOU SAID YOU WANNA KISS MY BRAIN COS I MEAN ACTUALLY DOING IT IS SO WEIRD I IMAGINED YOU KISSING MY JELLY BRAIN SJSJJSNSN ITS LIKE WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE'S EYES COS THEY WERE SO PRETTY BUT THEN I IMAGINED KISSING AN EYEBALL AND JSJSMMSMSMAMS

I am honored you took the time to express yourself to me at all and in english. I appreciate it sososososo much it was clear enough for me i hear you loud and clear.

I am glad you came around though it has been a while since your request. I dont mind at all. Come back as often as you want my love.

Im also so happy you cried 🤣🤣🤣🫶🫶🫶 i love making people cry 😈😈😈 it means i did something!!!! You and i are alike!!! Crying is a good indicator for.... Enjoyment 👁️👄👁️ ... Lets not unpack that here lol

Also the fact you seem to like all my stories 😭😭😭 my genius brain is crying over the love im such a genius arent i? I love you so much

Gosh this reply is so all over the place i hope it makes sense 😭 im on mobile and woke up early and now its late and my brain is frazzled but i hope i went through everything you said and i hope you know i love you

xxx

[eowynarchives]

guess who’s baaaack >:3

i was lookin back thru my activity and saw that most recent tag game and i was reminded of how intrigued i am about one of ur answers

you’re makin a dnd show??? like video production and such??? that’s so frickin cool dude!!! i’d love to hear more if you wanna infodump about it :D

best of luck!!! i’m sure it’s not the easiest but i fully believe you can do whatever you put your mind to

knowin you you’re gonna put your all in it and the end result is gonna be incredible and so worth the effort im so exited to see what your amazin brain comes up with :DDD

i’m so fuckin lucky to be friends with someone as talented as you mads, and you know i’m always gonna be your number one fan!!!

love ya more than you know mads <3333

WHAAATTT HOW DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU OMG (╯°□°）╯

yeah dude!!!!! IM MAKIN A WHOLE SHOW!!!!! or at least im going to try hahaha. i’ll message you some of the secret details since nothing is finalized yet butttt i’ll happily infodump the rest of my idea here tehehe-

so yes! i am going to film and produce a d&d show. im sick of waking up every day and dreaming about the future i want. im finally at the point of saying fuck this!! im gonna do the work and make my dreams a reality. im past the fear of not doing it perfectly on the first try- being afraid to start is never going to get me anywhere. what matters is to just go. i believe in my ability to learn and improve as i go.

and thankfully i won’t be totally alone! my sister and her boyfriend have experience working in film and media production. ive asked them both if they would be interested in helping me make this dream of mine a reality and they’re absolutely in! my sister is going to spearhead sound engineering/recording and she’s working on a final version of the logo i’ve created. her boyfriend is going to help me with video editing and social media marketing/advertisement. they are 2/4 of my players that have been playing through my homebrew campaign for the past 8ish months, and i trust them completely.

im planning on having a minimum of four but hopefully six players! im actually going to run a homebrew one shot sometime in the next month or so with my desired cast. i have to see if theyre interested and make sure they know what level of dedication they need to have, and i need to make sure the group actually meshes well together when playing! fingers crossed it goes well, but if not thats okay- it just means i haven’t found the right players yet.

as for me, i’ll be the dm so i will be responsible for pretty much all of the writing, which is intimidating when i think about people watching my stories unfold. but even if people don’t watch it or don’t like it or think it’s stupid, i don’t care because i want to do it for myself. yeah, it would be a dream come true if the show took off and i could do it full time. but at the core of my motivation, i wanna do it for me. i wanna step back after and be proud of something that i made. i wanna look at it and think “i created and molded my dreams with my own hands. i did that!”

i am so lucky to have lovely friends and family that are cheering me on and willing to throw their lot in with my wild dreams. i am so grateful for your kindness lux, you don’t even know. you have inspired me more than anyone else has to be brave and shoot for the stars. ever since you encouraged me to post chapter one of ylc really! i truly treasure the comment you left- at the end you said “im so excited to see where this goes!!! i’ll be here every step of the way!!” and you have, and i love you endlessly for it. i could never express the depth of my gratitude for you, i love you so much you wonderful human being you. im so happy that we’re friends <33

this has been really long hahaha but im very very insanely excited to be working on it!!!!

chase your dreams kids, and don’t be afraid to start. crush fear under your feet as you walk towards the horizon.