#this is so specific and I would like it to stop happening please

[theamazingmaddyas]

I will gladly talk to anyone about Kayla and Austin, or basically anyone in the Apollo Cabin.

My hc about Kayla starting camp was that her satyr was Coach Hedge, since, in The Last Olympian, Percy reads a letter from Coach Hedge saying he's in Toronto and the power of pan wasn't working. And who do we know was from Toronto, Canada? KAYLA! So, if this is true, she would've literally just came to camp.

As for Kayla's age, unlike Austin, it isn't specific. The first time I read it, I took "younger" to mean "younger than Will" though I'm not sure why. I think part of younger me's reasoning is that Apollo doesn't compare her age to Meg's, as you said. Rereading it does point me to say she could be younger than Austin, as his age was stated between Will and Kayla's, but I'm stubborn and since I decided when I was like 12 that Kayla was like 13, 14ish in THO, I have thus used that age ever since in my own fics.

But that being said, I also love bringing up that Kayla and Austin were there at the battle, and survived! That doesn't negate the fact that like ¾ of the cabin kicked the bucket in that battle.

I also like pointing out that in The Lost Hero, there is said to be six Apollo campers leading the sing along. We can assume that 3 of the 6 are Will, Austin, and Kayla (while Will is not musically talented, he is counselor and would have to help lead sing alongs). What happened to the other three? Since we can assume Will is the oldest (since camp counselor goes to a) oldest or b) seniority, and if we take Will's backstory from TSATS he came to camp at around 9, meaning that he'd've only been at camp 3-4 years by The Battle of Manhattan, which I don't think could give enough time for seniority unless the other three came to camp older). (If anyone wants a side tangent about Annabeth's counselor status at 12, please ask, I don't wanna go too far off topic here), that means they couldn't have gone off to college, or to the work force, and while we see more people at camp in TLH than in THO (since TLH overlaps with the beginning of Winter Break in the northern hemosphere and Summer break in the southern hemosphere) it is possibly they could've gone to school or to live with their mortal parents, but we know there's been no contact with Apollo since the battle against Gaea, and communication shut down a few months after, so is it too harsh to claim that I doubt an Apollo camper would be in the mortal world when their father (who we know from Will and Michael is one of the most active mortal parents, as for evidence if wanted, because I have it in my head, I just don't feel like flipping through the books to find it unless someone needs it) is not answering and then IMs stop working?

Based on this, I've concluded that the other three must've died in the Battle against Gaea, because we know there are casualties (because Nico's been doing funeral rights between when the battle ended and Will seeks him out to get checked up on, which has been about 3 days) but the only named one is Octavian.

In my own 3 days fic, I worked with this idea that three Apollo kids died during the battle—by having Will have to a) call the parents of the dead kids as their counselor, and b) when one of the mortal parents asks if they could bury her instead of doing a traditional Greek funeral, go help the satyrs bring the casket to the rented hearse—again, it is not too out there to believe Chiron would have the counselors call the dead kid's mortal families, despite being young themselves, because he had no qualms about Percy telling Nico about Bianca, and Mr. D (if he were here, which he isn't) honestly wouldn't care except with Castor.

from how people talk about Will, i always thought he was like, the sole survivor of cabin 7 after the battle of manhattan, WAS NOBODY GONNA TELL ME AUSTIN AND KAYLA WERE THERE???

if kayla is around 15 as of now, and austin is like around 14— THEY WERE LIKE 13/12 AND 12/11 WHEN THE BATTLE OF MANHATTAN WAS GOING ON IM GONNA CRY 😭😭 they were just babies, they watched one of their siblings get dragged off by a hellhound TWICE, had to search for michael’s body and so much more oh my god why does nobody talk about them

[esote-rika]

Once Upon a Dream | Spencer Reid

i. parting is such sweet sorrow | prev chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

Contents: mentions of sleepwalking, spells and potions, infidelity A/N: This is set after season 15, so no real cases, but it will make references to certain plotlines so be careful with the spoilers if you haven’t made it that far! Please leave a comment, I love reading them and interacting with you guys! Thank you for reading <3 bisous.

For as long as she can remember, Jet has shared a bed with her little sister. It had never been discussed or contested. From the moment Lenore was old enough to be out of her crib, she slept next to her big sister. 

Nobody batted an eye, really, because despite the age gap of four years, the sisters moved almost like twins. They used to do everything together, went to the same schools, got the same teachers.

They could even be mistaken for twins, with their matching dark hair and round, girlish faces. The only noticeable difference is Leni's blue eyes in comparison to Jet's dark brown ones.

However, even as they grew up, even as the differences between them grew more pronounced and Jet began to fry her hair with bleach (at first it had been a dare, but then she had grown to like how it looked) which further distinguished their appearance from each other, they continued to share a bed.

It’s one of those things that just is. 

Like the way Jet can pinpoint someone's exact mood and temperament, or the way Leni always knows if it's going to rain. 

The practice was partly for practical reasons. It helped with their sleep talking—somehow, whenever one of them starts talking in their sleep, the other wakes up and puts a stop to whatever words are being mumbled in that hazy, subconscious state. 

—Stopping the sleep talker is important, for whatever they utter in their dreams, in this state of in-between, might be made manifest in the real world. The girls had almost a sixth sense for each other in these moments. 

Admittedly, this made sleepovers awkward; Jet's peers didn't always want to hang out with a younger girl, and without Leni to put a stop to the sleep talking, it’s difficult to explain why sometimes the group having the sleepover would wake up covered in chicken feathers (Jet had a phase of dreaming about flying, specifically flying with wings, and her childlike magic manifested that into different sorts of feathers.)

Jet took matters into her own hands; she simply stopped going to sleepovers where Leni isn't welcome. 

Their sleeping habits only strengthened during the death of their parents, an unfortunate car crash that left them orphaned. Sent off to live with their eccentric aunts in a small town in Massachusetts where everything is new and baffling, the girls found solace with each other. 

Unfortunately, their small haven only lasted so long. At eighteen, Jet got accepted into a university in the city, with a scholarship offer that was too good to pass up. And so she packed her bags, armed with a citrine crystal and a sleeping concoction of chamomile and a secret ingredient Leni refused to name in order to make sure Jet sleeps deeply. 

Without sleep talking.

It was difficult, being so far from each other, but Jet was diligent, always, always telling Leni where she is, so that in case something happens to her, there would be a trail to track. Leni, for her part, lit Jet’s favorite candle every night, the one that smells of cinnamon and amber, and mutters a few words of safety for her older sister.

The year is 20─ and Jet has finally learned how to use Uber. And by that, it means she’s found a way around the protection curse. In the past, she had tried to book a ride, but her location just would not show up on her phone, as it had always done for basically her entire life.

Until recently. The idea had come from a colleague at the law firm she works in, who had been (rightfully so) paranoid about putting her address out into an application. Instead, she would pin a location at least two streets away, and when the driver is nearing that street, she’d walk the short distance to meet her ride there.

Jet is a little annoyed she herself hadn’t thought of that sooner. 

But she did learn it at a perfect time, because on the 18th of August, she had driven to this penthouse party with Lucas, but she was going to be leaving without him. 

Because, you see, decent people will stop flirting once they find a partner. Especially when they declare exclusivity.

Jet had thought she and Lucas were exclusive.

That is, until his wife had cornered her at this penthouse party, screaming bloody murder.

Jet had been too stunned to even defend herself, even though she’s been working around enough lawyers to know exactly what to say during a confrontation like this. But the complete betrayal of the situation had rendered her completely speechless. He made her the other woman, the rat bastard.

She couldn’t explain that she didn’t know because the wife had grabbed the bowl of cheese dip and hurled it straight at Jet. It spilled everywhere, even got in her left eye which promptly watered and gave off the impression that she’s crying. As if she would ever cry for a man. The last time she did was for her father, several months after the funeral. But it looked like she was crying on that night, the 18th of August, cheddar flavored tears burning down her face in ugly streaks.

What a humiliating affair. 

Jet had run down the stairs as fast as she could, and Lucas, the treacherous rat, had run after her. Go back to your wife, she had wanted to scream at him, don’t chase after me, I’m not taking you back. And for her sake, I hope she doesn’t either.

It only took her hiding in the fire escape to lose him. (Or perhaps he gave up quickly; Jet isn’t sure if that’s the work of her curse, or Lucas’ own pitiful attempts.)

With trembling hands, she had managed to book a ride. The Uber driver had been sympathetic, but he also eyed her cheese stained blouse warily. 

“Just don’t get it all over my seats, all right, miss?” the man had said with a chuckle, as though the whole thing was a joke. Jet certainly feels like it is. The universe playing a long, cruel joke on her for six goddamned months. 

Okay, so maybe her favorite candle had refused to light whenever she invited Lucas to her apartment, and she had always dreamed of him with another woman. But he’d said she was just paranoid, and Jet had to admit she had a tendency to be paranoid. And that she liked that he knew she was paranoid. 

She liked that he knew her, from the specific shade of blonde dye she used to the sizes of her shoes (it was a women’s six in open sandals, but a 7 in closed shoes and boots.) And so she had ignored the signs, and continued to date him, liking the fact that finally, a man had taken enough time to get to know her.

In the meantime, she didn’t know him.

She isn’t sad about the revelation; sadness would have ached in her stomach, made her chest feel hollow. But that night, Jet had felt as though she would burst. She was angry. So angry that the car’s speed would not go below 20 mph, despite whatever attempts the Uber driver made to slow down.

No, she didn’t want to slow down. She wanted to get home as fast as she could, open up whatever book of curses she could get her hands on, and begin one for Lucas, the fucking rat’s asshole.

When they had arrived at her building, she had thrown a crisp bill at the driver, apologizing for her rudeness and telling him to keep the change, then rushed all the way up to her apartment on the third floor. Jet had every intention of cursing Lucas at that moment, but when she reached her bed, the emotional exhaustion of the night finally took a toll.

Instead of finding the spell book, she had stripped off her cheesy clothes, murmured a spell to make sure the dip and color didn’t stain, and crawled under the covers, missing Leni. Leni would have stayed up and cursed Lucas for her. Something silly and inconvenient, like Lucas never finding his matching socks. He had a perfectionist streak, and liked things to be orderly, and mismatched socks would have made his everyday life miserable.

But she was so tired that she promptly fell asleep even without drinking the tea to keep herself from the habit of sleep talking. She wonders if she’d see her sister in dreamland.

Instead her dreams are filled with mismatched socks and a pair of scruffy converse.

[skylarstarlight]

Okay so kinda rant incoming-

Let me start this off by saying that I'm not putting this out there to be hateful or anything, it's just a personal pet peeve, my opinion if you will. If you disagree with me, good for you for having free will, I'm proud of you. I don't hate anyone who does this, and I don't mean to sound hostile, but English is my second language, I already have no sense of tone in my native language, and also I'm overly passionate about shit that just doesn't matter. Take it with a grain of salt please.

Disclaimer out of the way, can I just say how much I hate when in fic Jouno's blindness just gets erased?? Specifically when there's just like an authors note saying "yeah I didn't make them blind" with no plot event to justify it? Specifically in a fic taking place in "present day" BSD where Jouno very much is blind, because I know they canonically became disabled later in life rather than being born like that. Fics exploring how they became blind? Muah, chefs kiss, intriguing. But I'm not talking about those.

It very much feels like it's just a cheap way to make Jouno impressed with how attractive their assigned love interest is (usually x reader but I've seen suegiku guilty of this too). As if that's the only thing that could possibly draw them to that person. Like screw personality, behaviour, idk- sound of voice or something, let's go the easy route! They see a hot person and immediately fall for them because that's easy! That's the only thing that could ever matter when being attracted to someone! /s

It's also erasing a pretty integral part of their character. Because as much as I don't like it, Jouno is a side/background character. They don't have many defining traits, and you're just throwing one of the few ones they do have out of the window for convenience. At that point it's not Jouno anymore, you just stripped off their name and appearance and pasted it onto generic anime boy template 3.

And if you're going to go through the trouble of writing an entire fic about them, am I wrong to assume you'd at least like them a little bit? Please? Why would you want to change them?? Even AUs and stuff keep the character intact in the context of how they happen. This isn't even usually an AU, it's just canon universe except idk the magical eye fairy "cured" them. ("Cure" in quotations, disabilities shouldn't be seen as something to be cured)

Of course, write whatever you like. Your fics are yours and you should write whatever you want to and not feel stopped by what I, random person on the internet, have to say about it. Write what you want to write, and I'll keep reading what I want to read. I just had to get the disbelief and frustration out my system.

[aro-pancake]

How you doing? :3

So, yes yes yes!!! My original thought was just the engineering people, because it's either hate or love with gambiarras. There's no middle ground. But... That's amazing! I love it!!! And, yes! They would!

Sisko's "Please don't tell me because I'd rather have plausible deniability" made me laugh so much!

Janeway's replicator never gives her problems again, but please don't put stuff to cook and go take a shower. However, as soon as they're finished, the Brazilian (let's call them Malu, and make her, for ease of future reference?) looks at her and goes "Just... Don't... Oh. Not because it'll burn. No. That will cut off main power to the whole section." Until one day, Janeway forgets, puts something to bake and goes "well, a quick shower won't hurt" and the second she turns on the shower? There's this big explosion noise and half the ship loses power. Janeway laughs about it for weeks. Chakotay thinks that's a nightmare scenario. Janeway has Malu running TED talks for the engineering crew (and anyone who wants in) about "Gambiarras, or when MacGyvering takes some advanced college classes and hits the gym, and how to make them", tho she can't figure out how to explain the second part, other than in practice, so they'll have some old broken things and random stuff so the crew can fix it anyway they can. There's a point system, and whoever gets the thing to work the longest by the end of the week, makes the best looking (because it's not just about the functionality), and most unnecessarily complex ones with just the stuff before them will get some replicator credits.

Kim would appreciate her, I think, after a couple years when he stops being so by the book.

And Data loves her as long as they don't touch him. They say "yeah, no. I wouldn't dare to do that. I have respect for (my) life and it would be very risky." Tho, in an away mission that [insert something that happened to Data here], they were the only engineer available and the transporter was offline (of course it was), they had to.

I also think that outside of engineering situations she would rather get along with Worf. Tho, her bestie in the Enterprise would be Troi.

Barclay would also appreciate the gambiarras, as any good engineer would, he says, and often ask about how they work (when he starts to mingle with the crew).

Riker lines to have her on away missions, because "you never know when you'll have to do a comm badge out of bubblegum, some unrefined ore and a piece of cardboard" (his exact words to Picard)

They also transferred her from Enterprise to DS9 at O'Brian's request. He needed that finesse and expertise.

For Enterprise... I'm still rather early in the series, so I don't know the characters very well.

As stated before Trip/Tucker just loves her and the gambiarras so much. They're keeping that ship running and not giving him trouble? That's amazing! (He also took a liking to Caipirinhas after a few late night shifts)

T'Pol can make Tuvok look messy, so she hates them with a burning passion (although hate is a human emotion). She didn't care if no one knows how it's working, she'll demand it be taken off and fixed even more than Tuvok, even being as bold as trying to remove them. Unless they're the aesthetically pleasing ones, so Malu and Trip make their best to make sure all their gambiarras look pretty, lest T'Pol destroys them for "not being standard practice".

Hoshi spent some time in Brazil, so she understands. She likes the coffee and will often join with Malu for meals while chatting in Portuguese and discussing stuff they miss about there. We don't talk about São Paulo, tho.

Chef... Hates her. The pickiness about the food, the odd requests for specific local food that he has no idea how to make (namely feijoada and pão de queijo), the meddling in his kitchen to make everything just the way she likes it.

Mayweather also likes spending time with her (we're a charismatic people! :3), and he can appreciate a good gambiarra, after growing up in cargo freighters with no way to easily get help, they often had to improvise and there was a Brazilian in his ship, who taught him some basics ("you don't need to be an engineer to know the thing is broken") and he even can speak a little Portuguese, tho he has a heavy Rio accent when doing do.

Reed. Reed doesn't like the gambiarras. He understands them. He knows they work. He's even done a few himself (remember the episode he and Trip were stuck in the shuttlepod?) But he doesn't necessarily like them. Not to this degree, and because these are permanent fixtures, instead of a bandaid. And by consequence, he didn't like Malu. Tho, a couple gifts of his favourite fruit, "from Granddad's farm", he starts to warm up to her.

Archer adores her. He is the son of an engineer. He knows what goes on in that engine room in a pinch. And he once said "if my dad had someone like you on his crew..." Before looking away and deflecting the subject. He will often call her to try and get a new perspective on things, especially when traditional methods didn't work.

Their doctor? Not a fan. He's got one too many calm days interrupted by one gambiarra exploding, only to find out that now it was fixed Mitch the same way but "this time it won't blow up!" But, he rather enjoys the Brazilian cuisine and will try to tag along with her for a couple meals a week.

That's who I can think of right now... And it's 8am, and I haven't had coffee yet...

So, here we have a saying that goes "Brazilians need to be studied by NASA". It's due to many things, but mostly because of our passive skill: Gambiarra, aka, Advanced Red Neck Engineering.

So, I was thinking, how would the head of engineering of each Star Trek series react to having a Brazilian engineer (because an engineering degree can't stop the Gambiarras. They'll actually become better with it.) in their territory?

Scotty would drink with them, and creates a policy of "if I can't fix it, bring in the Brazilian". He doesn't touch the Gambiarras, and actually likes some of them better than the way the ship was originally designed. When questioned (most likely be Spock), he just says "we're light years from anything else, laddie. You expecting an inspector or something?" Then proceeds to take a swing of a bottle of cachaça.

Geordi, the perfect By-the-book engineer, would be running after them, trying to "fix" their Gambiarras, only to be told not to touch them or something else, that is completely unrelated, will explode. He learns that lesson the hard way, and never again touches anything with a clear Gambiarra. He's still surprised that some have lasted so long (irl, it's normal to find some that are 10+ years old because they just work better)

O'Brian loves them. Living in DS9 and having to engineer a way to make Cardassian and Federation technology work together? They're besties. They're often at Quarks (who disgruntlely learnt to make an actually good Caipirinha), and trying to figure out how to make things work out. The one time O'Brien freaked out, was when his pet Brazilian went on a space walk to fix a docking port, and their suit was 80% tape. They were grounded after that and O'Brien got Keiko to give them a "disappointed Asian mom" glare, the one thing capable of stopping them, in the lack of a Latina mom holding a Havaiana (/Chancla)

B'Ellana is kinda like Geordi, but she's not intimidated by the eventual explosion. She tried to fix every single one "the right way", and only stopped when removing the Gambiarra that was, somehow, keeping the Holodecks working also, somehow, disconnected the sonic showers. After that, she gave them a deadline. Any Gambiarra should be gone within the week. They were actually there for months at a time, and she didn't exactly complain.

Trip is happy to have them there. Someone who can fix a ship with nothing more than a wrench, some bubblegum and tape? That's his dream come true. They keep the shuttlepods functional, and have put a recipe for Brazilian coffee and Caipirinha on the drink replicator. Somehow, the coffee always tastes better when they're the one ordering it, and they have a collection of a specific kind of glass that they'll drink everything from. However, they're the chef's worst nightmare, because they're extremely picky on how their food should be prepared Brazilian style (aka, lots of onion and garlic, well salted and with rice and beans for their lunch every day.)

[evolve-rat]

If I had a nickel for every time I watched a gothic tv show and found out the source material had weird incest stuff involving the American protagonist’s blond Euro husband, I’d have two nickels. Which is TOO MANY NICKELS WHAT THE FUCK

[hylianane]

And when OPLA calls back to Zeff telling the crew to read stories to Zoro so he can hear their voices and recover faster, by having Sanji sit by his bedside on Thriller Bark and read him a book about the All Blue. What will you do then?

[witchqueen]

Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?

I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice

[miyamiwu]

@protect-namine oh no, no, no, I am NOT letting you hide this in the tags:

#would it be an unpopular opinion for me to say. i think they have a healthier dynamic right now than shiguang lol#maybe “healthy” isn't the right word#but i think it's interesting how lg is very adamant about keeping cxs in the dark#vein and xf kinda know what's up with each other. flaws and all. and they're aware of the power dynamics of their relationship#it's a bit vague how much vein knows about xf's side gig with lx but he DOES know both of them individually so#like i don't think he's unaware that lx is scheming or whatever and he's roping xf in it. he knows lx#actually it'd be interesting if it was like. he knows how lx is and he trusts that xf can take care of himself. he told lx xf's birthday#like there's an interesting contrast to me with how when xf is in danger he can just ring up vein any time#cxs never knows when he's in danger and lg never lets him know. lg is the one who keeps has to keep tabs at all times#i wouldn't say veifei is wholesome or whatever. i like the mafia boss x model thing they have going on. there's still a power imbalance#but there's definitely a more open trust communication thing going on with them right now that's highlighted#specifically because shiguang can't do that with the secrets#truly me learning that vein hates lies has done wonders for how i view veifei. it's key to them

Welcome to the VeiFei club, dearie. And yes, you are so right <3

And you know what, I’m gonna stop calling them the toxic yaoi couple for funsies. Canon has NOT showed them as toxic at all. People were just jumping to conclusions based on their PVs, which aren’t even completely true!

And replying to @pastorfutureletthembe‘s reblog here just to keep it one place:

Fandom saying a ship is toxic when all that happened in the canon is Vein saving his life at least twice and knowing his birthday and protecting his pretty face while Xia Fei is making heart eyes at his “big bro” and praising him to strangers he was sent to stalk (but not by Vein)

Yeah! Vein may be a little freaky (based on his PV and the language he uses), but so far he’s been very good to Xia Fei. Xia Fei doesn’t even fear him at all, and from the little snippets shared by Liu Xiao, Vein seems to genuinely care for Xia Fei too.

There may be some power imbalance due to Xia Fei being Vein’s employee, but please, Xia Fei doesn’t give a shit about Vein being his “boss.” He’ll summon him like a pokemon and talk back at him if he wants to, and Vein will just confiscate his snacks and flick his forehead in “punishment.” It’s like… Xia Fei calls Vein 老板 lǎo bǎn (boss) in the same way one would call another as 大哥 dà gē* (older brother). With affection and admiration/respect. Not really out of corporate courtesy.

*I’ve explained the nuances of dage two times before, but in case you guys missed it:

大哥 (dà gē) = actual term XF used to refer to Vein in YE3. meaning is literally eldest brother, but it’s also just a more respectful term than 哥哥 (gēgē, general older brother). However, it could also mean boss/gang leader—which can sound a bit crude on our princess Vein lol, but he technically is a 大哥

I don’t know why, but I have very strong faith in VeiFei

majority of fandom is saying they’re toxic. that Vein’s abusive. that there’s manipulation or exploitation involved. And I myself acknowledge that they’re the “toxic yaoi couple” to contrast the domestic, fluffy ShiGuang

Yet at the same time, I believe in them

I believe that Xia Fei is not just an abused 受 to the 渣攻 Vein, although they’ve been heavily coded that way so far*. I even think that, between the two of them, Vein is actually the one who cares more.

I know this sounds ridiculous. But as I was already preparing to put on my clown makeup way before VeiFei even debuted and the rest of the fandom saw what I saw, then what’s wrong with me being a little “delusional” once more. Who knows, my manifestation powers might work again. If not…well, the clown makeup is right there.

*I’m only referring to the tropes here. I don’t care what their bed positions are. They could be 互攻 or 反攻, and I’ll still ship them

[aemiron-main]

me, watching people post the edward stuff to twitter literally copy pasted from my posts & act like they came up with all of it like

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

I've Been Losing You by a-ha

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[obnoxiousarcade]

I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

[huyaoxiaozi]

       Zane knew what was coming the moment Matt had let out that sigh, but he tilted his head slightly into his touch anyway. He couldn't have stopped himself from melting into Matt's kiss if he'd wanted to, even if it was brief. He felt a fluttering sensation in his chest and it reminded him that he hadn't known if he'd ever get to feel any of this again. Matt's lips against his, his hand in Zane's, cupping his cheek, buried in his hair ... the chance to tell Matt everything he'd always wished he'd said out loud but never did. Or, at least, some of it.

       Surprisingly, Zane felt the painful ache of tears at the back of his throat with Matt's words, but he swallowed it down and briefly averted his gaze. He'd been so angry during their first encounter at the start, when it seemed like Matt had simply accepted Xiao Dan's version of events without questioning them. It was clear now that, of course he'd questioned them. He'd still wanted Zane to return to him, no matter if what he'd been told was true or not, but ... he'd hoped it wasn't true, deep down where those feelings stubbornly persisted. How could he ever think Matt would willingly be involved in what had happened? Even after their brief encounter, he'd protected Zane, regardless of the dire consequences he'd suffered for it.

       He loved Matt so much that it hurt.

       ❝I don't want to argue,❞ Zane conceded, his voice sounding tight with emotion and he cleared his throat softly — he knew if he persisted blindly, that was what was going to happen. But he couldn't just completely drop it without at least asking Matt to consider his words. He reached up and, this time, he cradled the others face in his hands, smoothing his thumbs over soft, warm skin. ❝Just because you can endure it doesn't mean you have to. Just ... try to keep that in mind for me. Please. That's all I'm asking.❞

       Zane leaned in then and, simultaneously, one hand slid back to cup the back of Matt's head whilst his other slid down to loosely settle against his waist — but instead of seeking Matt's lips again, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead. He desperately hoped that someday, a conversation like this wouldn't be difficult. That someday, Matt would agree wholeheartedly ... and that he would stop putting himself at the mercy of those who inflicted nothing but pain and suffering on him.

       ❝I've never been able to get the thought of you, how I feel about you, out of my head. While it felt necessary for survival to consider that you could've been involved in ... what happened, I couldn't make myself believe it. And I'm damn glad I didn't. I want to make the best out of all of this, too.❞ Zane let his other hand drop and he softly, idly, slid both of his hands up and down Matt's back ... maybe curious if he could elicit another shiver.

       ❝But ... on the subject of us specifically ... if you'd like to think of me as your boyfriend this time ... I'm all yours.❞ I always have been.

 “It’s not that I’m worried about being uncomfortable.” What a lie. “I just— We’re no longer teenagers sneaking around. If we have a day or two in this place… I’d just rather take my time and enjoy things, like normal people would.” Sure, they were everything but normal people, a normal couple. But it would be nice to pretend, even just for a day or two here and there. They might not ever have a future together, might not ever spend more than a few days together at a time, but it was still so much more than Long Zhi had ever imagined. He’d resigned himself to loneliness a long time ago, had even resigned himself to a loveless arranged marriage like his parents had so he, too, could produce an heir someday. But this? He would’ve never even dared to dream he’d ever get the chance to kiss the only person he’d ever loved ever again. “We no longer have to sneak off into a dark corner somewhere to get a few minutes to ourselves. So let’s make the best of it, yeah?”

 Then he watched Zane consider his one condition, and let out a heavy sigh when he recognized that look. He’d seen it plenty of times before, though never this intense. He remembered how it used to make him feel; all warm and fuzzy and special. But now it wasn’t some kid at school that made fun of his accent, or a kid on the street that had hurled some kind of insult at them. It was his own people Zane attempted to protect him from.

 Shaking his head slightly, Long Zhi caressed Zane’s cheek, then rested his hand underneath his chin so he couldn’t turn away. “I don’t need your protection, Zane. I can handle myself, my clan, my family. I’ve been doing this for as long as I’ve been alive. There’s nothing they can throw at me that I can’t endure.” The ‘especially if I know I deserve it’ remained unsaid, very well aware it would only fan the flames. And that wasn’t what he wanted. “I need your help so we can have more time. That’s what I need. More time. With you. Because I’ve already lost years worth of time with you, and I don’t want to lose a second more.”

 Moving his hand from his chin to the back of his neck, Long Zhi pulled him into another kiss, although a very brief one. “So stop wasting our time talking and thinking about them, or anything that doesn’t have to do with us.” Resting his forehead against Zane’s, he closed his eyes and let out yet another sigh. “For years I’ve forced myself to hate you, and the things I thought you’d done. I’ve buried everything I felt for you as deep as I could, hoping it would somehow vanish and leave me alone so I could finally live in peace and focus. It never worked. No matter—” Long Zhi paused, then cleared his throat and sat up straight. “It never worked. I think, deep down, I still held out hope that you’d come back someday. I still held out hope that there was a chance of mending things, regardless of what you had or hadn’t done. I was never ready to hate you, not truly. So now that I have another chance, I want to make the best out of every moment we have.”

[8lah8lah]

"both sides of shipcourse are wrong" says person about to not bat a fucking eye when someone on one side gets chased off the fucking internet and doxxed and told they deserve assault for liking ships that are abusive in a way they dont immediately understand/relate to. "shipping discourse is just sooo dumb and immature" says person about to fucking gasp and scream and tell all their mutuals and post "STOP putting ***** on my dash in 202_" vagues like A Gross Drawing Existing In The World is going to singlehandedly groom and traumatize and enable and Normalize everything for everyone on the planet simultaneously for simply being put out there and it being out there is a category 10000 mental safety hazard that they must bravely defend people from. "youre stupid if you care about ship discourse lmao" posts brave tumblr user about to get really upset publically over One person they saw shipping a like, 4-year age gap between two fictional chars that's there if you Squint, an opinion that Clearly has NOTHING to do with very specifically one side of the discourse

[dbphantom]

I figured it out

You haven't done shit

I figured it out

[artemisdesari-blog]

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[phagodyke]

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