#this is so real i mean come on 12 LOVES punching stuff

[doctorwhoisadhd]

bdsm would fix them

....Wait because i said they definitely have gayass 6th grader playground shit going on and what i MEANT was they would flip out and punch each other with the regularity of repressed 13 year olds from homophobic areas who will realize in about 5-10 years that they were REALLY attracted to each other but i did NOT consider the idea of them having fistfights specifically as like a sex thing. which would ABSOLUTELY fix them.

also 12 physically tying jack up would definitely go some way to prevent them from wreaking MORE psychological devastation on each other

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Bunch of Stuff Coming in August

July 2023 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 2-3 of 8 - Oh good, we now know that Thailand has the same statutory rape laws as the US. Dub con is as dub con does. MEANWHILE Oh my God I love evil lawyer cutie so much. Him and his beautiful weaponized smile, maybe my new favorite character. I like the way this director is playing with noir mystery tropes, settings, and archetypes too - it’s feeling very 60s pulp, I’m getting gay Travis McGee vibes. Grandma knowing that her grandson likes boys is so sweet. I have to be completely frank here, this is what I wanted from both Manner of Death and KP. I truly love this show

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 3 of 10 - It’s a very Cyrano de Bergerac kind of narrative... If Cyrano fell in love with Christian instead of Roxanne. Mock date was fun. 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - Into the lion’s den. Investigation begins. Why isn’t the ghost acting lookout? Who are these random side characters? I’m confused. Half way through kiss is right on schedule tho. 

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 2 of 7 - The kiss was nice, but it’d be nicer if Nuea had punched Lom. Manipulative arse. A trash watch is happening!

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 4 of 12 - Meh. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 eps - The hazing has begun + secret relationship and it’s kinda like a v soft SOTUS. Dino is getting a bit too controlling and obsessive for me so it slid down the ranks. I much prefer La Cusine’s version of this dynamic. The friends protecting Dino’s interests were funny tho - boy is so obsessed he outsources his stalking. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 10 of 12 - Max is BEST BOY. I hate Kawi. Tra la la. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 2 of 8 - Our ex idol is a total FLIRT. Nice to see an uke with agency. I mean baby girl is a newbie worker bee… but still flirty, good for you, sweetie. I see your little lip bite and so does your soon to be husband. Speaking of, I love Choi Jun’s style of seme aggression: a little sleezy + a bit too handsy + ultra clever with his words. Plus tie tug!!! Also threatening to take off your TAILORED suit so baby wears your shirt and smells like you? HOT. Boy you sped right past American style and into Italian - that’s real Corinthian leather, that is. 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 5 of 10 eps - Mid series kiss right on schedule. Thank you for never upsetting me, Taiwan. Omg. Such boyfriends. Only Taiwan gets this sappy. I have to say, I watch this show after Tokyo on purpose. (I need the pallet cleanser.) Still, I’m scared that the perception will be that Bu Xia is using Jiang Chi, not in love with him, when the truth about ghosts comes out. Why doesn’t BX’s useless sister do something for her disaster brother? I guess JC likes a needy boy? Oh no, the kiss confusion. Lip touch but rejection (?). Nooooo. I suppose they have to draw this out for 10 eps. Gah, they’re so cute. But BX is a bit dim, isn’t he? Poor thing. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 4 of 12 eps - Shin is such a worrywart, over protective, over the top boyfriend. I guess we saw a little bit of give from Minato? More than usual, baby steps. This is Japan after all.

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - Japan’s favorite trope = the running of the gays. Kazama knows everything now. Ep ends on one of my few triggers. SKIP! Japan you better NOT go there.

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11-12fin - terrible ending, he turned back into a cat and the whole thing was pointless. I am very annoyed. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED 

It’s airing but ...

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

In case you missed it

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) finished its run at 7 eps. It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I did not bother. I say little to no chatter about this (that’s normal with the Pinoy stuff tho). Did anyone watch and enjoy? 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming August 2023

8/1 Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 5 eps - Yes we have had BL from Hong Kong before, but that was... before... who knows what it’ll be like now. Hayden, moves into a new apartment and starts a complicated relationship with his neighbor’s grandson, Damien, after an unexpected kiss. Meanwhile: Archie rekindles a romance with his high school sweetheart, Kelvin, who is now married.

8/11 Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps - Hyun, Minwoo and Joo-Hyuk are looking forward to their freshman year at college. But trials and tribulations of love that await them outside the classroom: from learning about maturity to being unable to forget the scars of past lovers. (All new cast from season 1.) 

8/12 My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat ????) 8 eps - hum. 

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) ? eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together.

8/20 My Universe series begins (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 episodes - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 episodes, not entirely sure on the order they’ll drop in. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, mostly fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct several. 

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, I’m thinking Viki or Gaga will get this one.  

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie domestic cinemas) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. Tong is in this one too? 

8/? Sing My Crush previously Follow The Wind (Korea ????) 8 eps - supposed to have released in the first half of 2022 this is a adaption of Myung’s webtoon, from the director of My Sweet Dear, and the Love Tractor production house, looks like Korea does About Youth.

8/? Why R U? (Korean remake)  is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags. 

We can probably expect a new BL from GMMTV too, to slot into BMF’s spot mid month. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I do love a hyung romance, and this aggressive ghost-ish thing is working for me. (Low Frequency) 

Hidden Agenda + My Ride. 

So coy

I agree with @heretherebedork​ that these two make a great side couple but I am utterly in love with...

HER. (All Laws of Attraction.) 

(Last week)

[nerves-nebula]

I sometimes get uncomfortable around arguments about if certain characters are abusive or not- obviously I see this the most with 2012 tmnt and nobody really needs my opinion but I keep thinking about it so here’s some words to chew on.

Keep in mind I haven’t seen much of 2012 so I’ll mostly be talking about the WAY I see these discussions being had here, rather than the show itself.

I doubt the creators intended for the turtles to be abusive and I kind of just assume that everything they do is within the genre of slapstick kids show. But I also don’t think people who cringe away from the way they treat each other are reading too much into it.

I’ve seen people argue that ppl who think the brothers are abusive just don’t have siblings and that’s an insane take to me. Obviously its probably hyperbole in some instances but as someone with more siblings than most of the people I know, I 100% see the abuse reading of this series. It’s a very obvious idea to latch onto for me as someone who HAS been abused by my siblings- and who’s probably been abusive too.

The main thing that really gets under my skin is when people point out how much the turtles actually care about each other as evidence against abuse. Cause that doesn’t make any sense ??? you can abuse people you love and care about deeply.

And it really rubs me the wrong way when I see a post that’s like Raph can’t be abusive because he does X nice/cute things with Mikey or something like. That’s not how abuse works. You guys have to know that right?? Abuse isn’t just a person being mean 24/7 without pause.

A bit of a tangent coming up, but growing up, I really hated Mabel from gravity falls. not because she is inherently any more annoying or selfish or anything than other characters but because the way she treated dipper was extremely triggering for me as a child with a lot of anxiety��. Like if Mabel was real and my sibling, I would’ve considered a lot of the shit she did abusive. Obviously I’m normal about her now cause I’m not 12 anymore but the biggest hurdle about watching that show when I was younger was that I would sometimes be brought to tears of frustration, imagining how scared and distressed I’d be if Mabel did that shit to me.

THE POINT of this tangent is that saying “the 2012 turtles aren’t abusive because I do that stuff with my siblings all the time/cause teenage boys are just like that” isn’t a genuine critique because abuse isn’t just about the action it’s about the relationship. Punching your sibling who’s actually ok with being punched isn’t abuse. Punching your sibling who really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW really doesn’t want you to, and who you KNOW would be genuinely upset by being punched? That is abuse.

And I find it annoying because I think we’re all aware that abuse was likely not the intent of the show. (Probably not even the text of the show but once again can’t say for sure) Maybe some dysfunction for drama, but probably not abuse, so you’re really just arguing against someone’s headcanon/personal interpretation of this show. And it’s like.. ok you have a different reading cool I guess.

In the show they aren’t treated as abusive, but fandoms are built around exploring different aspects of art that weren’t explored in canon. So I guess idk why this is a big deal.

Idk I think people have this idea that abusive = evil and always wrong. But abuse is just someone hurting you repeatedly and refusing to stop for whatever reason.

And with a show like 2012 where it’s all played for laughs it can be hard to tell if that’s how they are with each other because they’re ok with it or if that’s how they are cause they don’t know any other way. The turtles are kind of really mean in 2012, and wether that’s a familiarity kind of meanness or not is up to you in fandom, yknow?

Does Mikey actually consider Raph hitting him as like a fun part if their banter or is he coping with jokes about being physically abused? You decide! Like genuinely it can be either and I think that’s fun!

I mean obviously you all know what i’d pick, but that’s because I’m blissfully aware of what I want out of stories and what i want is nuanced discussions of abuse.

Personally, I acted very similarly to the 2012 turtles when living with my siblings, but I didn’t actually fucking like it. It was a defense mechanism because being genuine would only be met with ridicule. So I’m not inclined to agree that it’s fine because it’s just what they do.

Once again though, I doubt it was on purpose. And if you don’t think that they’re abusive then congrats! The show probably doesn’t either! So I just don’t see why people get super upset about it. Don’t you love that someone got a different story out of the same media??

Anyway obviously it doesn’t super matter and I don’t really have a horse in this race. I just got a bit annoyed with the way abuse is discussed and as a hobbyist Abuse Analyst I thought I’d weigh in.

I wrote this instead of going to sleep and it’s sooo late and also so much longer that I meant for it to be… y’all better not have bad takes in response or I’ll be annoyed as hell tomorrow morning, guh.

[adultswim2021]

Squidbillies #52: “The Many Loves of Early Cuyler” | May 24, 2010 - 12:00AM | S05E02

Squidbillies continues fulfilling its purpose of being acceptable television to watch while waiting for something better to come on. In this one, Early remarries Krystal and her equally disgusting cousin as a way to get them to have a threesome with him. This occurs via smash cut after the cousin offhandedly says that she’s saving herself for marriage. This begins a snowball effect in which Early marries many other women (including Granny, by giving her a Cheyenne Cinnamon ring), defying Squid Jesus’s wishes (Hey, Fred Armisen is still showing up for this, huh!).

Early eventually establishes a cult where he is barricaded inside his compound with many wives. He impulsively marries one of his stepchildren after Rusty takes a shining to her, and then marries any object that Rusty attempts to occupy his time with (a tire swing, a muffler, etc). Sheriff tries to intimidate the group by blasting a track from the album "Torture Bop" (like Kidz Bop, get it?). This doesn’t work; Early and his sister-wives simply dance to it for months on end. 

The Squidbillies wiki’s “Trivia” section fails to make any mention of most of the relevant cultural references I’ve mentioned in passing. Jim Jones is mentioned in the plot synopsis, but there’s no mention of Jonestown’s Flavor-Aid (often incorrectly cited as Kool-Aid, especially in the idiom “Drinking the Kool-Aid”), or how that music-blasting sequence is referencing a real event that happened during the David Koresh stand-off. The Squidbillies wiki opts to simply describe visual jokes as if explaining what’s going on to a blind person.

I’m not sure I should be making fun of the Squidbillies wiki’s Trivia section, because it sorta just feels like a well-meaning person trying to fill it with content in a way they are most capable of doing, and I don’t like blaming people for not knowing specific things. I guess the correct reaction, as per a wiki's ethos goes, is to simply contribute to the trivia section myself. But entries that read “Rat Poison was the drink Early pored in some punch to the party.” don’t exactly paint a flattering picture of your typical Squidbillies fan. Not exactly making a joiner out of me.

I appreciated some of the jokes in this, and laughed out loud at the part where Early proposes to Glenn’s wife via electronic message on a blimp. Glenn’s dramatic line-reading of “do you love him?” is very funny. 

MAIL BAG

In reference to the infamous Jimmy Rebel episode of Boondocks:

If I remember right, I think it only aired once. Pure speculation but I think what did them in was calling Obama the N word, I noticed TV airings of later episodes in the season would bleep it out if it was used in relation to him (even affectionately). Anyway, didn't really care for the episode. Feels like they were going for a "some people are gonna hate you no matter how much you suck up to them" moral that they only went for halfway. The scenes with grandpa are gold though.

Didn't realize how rare it was, wow! Structurally it really isn't a great episode, but I tend to forgive stuff like that if it makes me laugh. Almost any high-minded ideal I have can easily be shattered if something I'm opposed to tickles me. Boondocks is usually brilliant in it's details rather than it's whole. But that's a very valid criticism.

it's been almost six months since i plugged up your mailbag with my garbage but it looks like you are home to roost so get read to hear a lot more from me. don't mess up, I'll razz yah if I see an opening. I'll be talkin' to you REAL SOON.

Six Months is the gestation period of a baboon fetus, which is exactly what you are. Looking forward to you flinging content at me daily... to say the least

the king of the hill finale was so joke-free it might as well be a bob's burgers backdoor pilot.

LOL

[chenanigans]

Finished watching Gravity Falls all the way through. I'm gonna talk about spoilers for this 12 year old show now.

Also it came out on June 15th so basically this show is a gift to ME!!!!!!!!

First of all, that person was right; y'all couldn't handle Mabel. That

This comic is fucking accurate.

My favourite character is Mabel because I see herself a lot in me. She's just so full of joy, love, and whimsy and reminds me a lot of 12 year old me. She loves art and cute stuff and is weird and silly and I just love everything about her. When she has her moments, they really resonated with me. 🥰

The story was really sweet. I really enjoyed the themes of family, found family, loss, trust, and just everything. Sibling bond shit gets me because of how much I love my sister and how Dipper and Mabel interact makes me think of me and Nella and how silly and real we get with each other. Stan and Ford's relationship was really tragic and seeing how some things made sense for how each other acted really got to me too. 😭

The show is also just really, really fucking funny. I laughed so much about stuff in that show. Grunkle Stan and Mabel were so fucking funny. I love how the two of them just fucking punch shit. Also just saying whatever comes to their mind is just like me fr fr. Mabel and Stan just remind me of my ADHD ass whether it be hyperfocusing on specific shit or just struggling to live up to some standards while it feels like others are zooming ahead. 🥺

The villains all sucked so much! I liked them! Gideon was very ugh for me because Mabel basically being forced into a relationship she didn't want. 😑 Pacifica also just being mean to her for being weird sucked a lot because I was a weird girl and people used to be mean to me like that! 🥺 Bill sucked ass and my ass still can't understand the fuckability of him. I think I'm too ace/aro and sapphic to understand. 😅

Not enough black people in the show but I also learned from my American friend that not a lotta black people are in Oregon and also white supremacists love it there so maybe for the best. X'D

Also I don't care how gay they are, I do NOT respect the cops! ACAB!!!!!

🐸🐸🐸/5 on the frog rating scale because the only frogs I can remember were in Mabel's bubble prison and they were actually fucked up and evil after they were cute.

[azures-grace]

i give you two options

a. the entire list of questions

or

b. 2, 5, 14, 20

Challenge MCFUCKING accepted

Questions at the end

1. 4 published, but technically I worked on The Shadow of the Wicked but didn't publish anything for it.

2. One shots!

3. Fallout lmaoo

4. 2, Skyrim and Fallout, 3 if you wanna get technical and say My Father's Name is FNV and Too Much has Fallen in Mine is Fo3

5. Butchicity.... Goober n Gore......

6. Butch DeLoria and Moira Brown

7. Yeah! Started writing for Fallout, and the new ships would be Moira and Lissy and Butch and Lissy but that technically hasn't actually come up in any writing yet. There's stuff I've been writing for it tho.... But for later.....

8. TMHFIM, it was really special to me because it was like... The first thing I was able to write after being really depressed for a long ass time. God bless antidepressants.

9. Ooh... Hard question. I was really happy to work on all of them, but I think Let me hold you until I soften your hands made me the happiest because it's just. Pure fluff.

10. One of the oneshots, I'm a whore for unfinished long fics nshdjejdbd

11. Uncanny Blood, mostly because I wanted to work on later parts a lot and had to figure out travel times and then had to write a whole extra chapter even though technically I had 2 chapters after it written, so currently the fic is at a standstill because I have to write chapter 3, even though I have 4 and 5 ready to go 😔😔😔

12. None of them lmaoo. My Father's Name, probably. I know the beginning of New Vegas pretty well.

13. Shortest: My Father's Name, Longest: TMHFIM

14. Depends on when in the year I was? I've got a couple character playlists n stuff sorry for the terrible answer lmao djsjjzbd

15. TMHFIM, I was stuck between several titles, but I'm using at least one of them for a later chapter, so all is well.

16. Let me hold you until I soften your hands. Makes me emotional

17. "Evenings by the fire were always their favorite part of the evening." Or "Her father had been… distant lately." I feel like both of those set up the tone of the story pretty well. And I giggle at the sentence mistake in the first

18. Well. I've only got two of those. But it's " “I think I'd like that, blood.” " which makes more sense in context. I'm gonna go cry about it now.

19. Eheheheh my favorite part. I have 2

“Hey,” Amkar said lightly. “Even if there's no real information here, at least it's very pretty to look at. Those Nords sure were on to something…”

“Weird to hear that from a Thalmor soldier,” she pointed out, pulling out her journal and beginning to sketch the crarvings.

“Just because I'm a racist doesn't mean I can't enjoy art,” he said.

She took a long pause trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. “Are you joking?”

And

“Hey!” a voice shouted from above.

She looked up, shading her eyes with her good arm. “Hi?”

“Are you a raider?” the voice called down.

“What's a raider?” Felicity asked, flabbergasted.

“Sherrif! You should get over here, there's some weird girl covered in blood at the gate!”

20.

“Oh? Family? You're not some deranged lunatic who spawned into Tamriel with a poor haircut and a strangely lovely taste in music?” Caryalind had pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at her.

21. I don't think so...? I think what surprised me most is how terribly Bethesda's characters in Skyrim are developed, I guess? At least for the minor ones and the general factions. Too many bandits. So I gave them personalities.

22. Google docs 😔

23. Felicity punching Moriarty, no question about it.

24. Nope

25. I didn't, I guess? Just... Fell into a writer's block and then came back months later.

26. Looooots of fanart, my azure arted tag has almost all of it.

27. None in the fanfic world, but I had 2 art trades this year and that was fun! I'd love to do more in the future.

28. My friends who listened to me ramble about my characters :]]

29. Finish up Chapter 6 of TMHFIM!

30. Oughg more TMHFIM and maybe a New Vegas fic or prequel that covers Celeste? Those would be fun...

[unhingedhearties]

For Reals, How Is This Legal You Guys?

This post was so annoying to put together. Sorry to come at you all with this one-two punch of stupidity, but I want to feature these two posts together. To paraphrase the Black-Eyed Peas, it's about to get "started" in here.

First off, all that stuff about "a play, singing, directorship" comes from this interview Erin and Kevin did that's sending these people into a meltdown. I've provided a transcript. Skip to 1:50.

Interviewer: Erin, are you gonna step behind the camera and direct? I know you produced the show but are you going to direct some episodes?

Erin: I would love to. I think that would be such an interesting challenge. I'm not sure what's possible because I'm American and we shoot in Canada but, um, I think that would be a really neat new avenue certainly something I'm interested in and I know Kevin's interested in.

Kevin: Yeah.

Erin: Yeah

Interviewer: And Kevin I mean with your history, I mean on stage and I know Erin has the same, but do you miss stage work?

Kevin: Yes of course all the time yeah. *looks at Erin* Why you don't?

Erin: No I just think it's an interesting question, I mean when was the last time you were on stage?

Kevin: On stage? Probably 10 years ago. 8 years ago. I'd be terrified to go up and do it now. We saw a play last night actually, we're here in New York right now, and yeah I was baffled. I was like "I used to do this" and I don't think… it would just be so difficult it's because they're just two very different mediums, acting in front of the TV, in front of, this uh camera and then on stage but I mean long story short I would love to get up there and do it again. I miss it every time I see it and uh yeah I hope I get the opportunity to.

Erin: We've actually talked about potentially producing a play together we thought it would be fun to, um, with another one of our castmates get together and do a play.

Kevin: Yeah.

Interviewer: That would be wonderful. We should see a musical version of When Calls the Heart.

Erin: Oh…

Kevin: We pushed for this idea well, yeah…

Erin: Oh, on screen yeah. A musical episode?

Kevin: Yeah, that would be great. A little choreographed dance number.

Kevin: Yeah. We… it might happen. I mean as… the fans love it and the seasons continue maybe we'll see it.

Interview: Erin, uh, 12 seasons of When Calls The Heart though, um… I mean your cast, your crew… this is family now.

Erin: It is. It really is, um I consider myself very lucky to have met some of my best friends on When Calls. Um, they're people who have stood by me in some of my lowest moments, they're the people that I laugh with, the people that I travel with, um that I adopt dogs with, it's just a really incredible community. I mean it's it's a lot of really good, fun, kind, talented, people. It's a great group.

Interviewer: Kevin, same question. I mean, uh, there must be people you know close to your heart that are crew members and all do you…

Kevin: Yeah, of course. I mean you're looking at one of them right now, but on top of that, you know, I met my fiancé on on the show and, yeah just, I mean everything that Erin has said it's, it's… my life has only gotten better from joining the show. Not only professionally but also personally.

------

Now, I don't want to go all "body language analysis" on them (because it's a pseudoscience with no basis in reality that only idiots believe in) but when Kevin brings up the musical episode of WCTH, the way Erin says "oh, on screen" sounds weird. Like it's just a joke and not a serious thing.

Also, wow, two actors who used to do plays and act on stage might potentially want to return and make their own play. That's literally never been done before. And how does being on WCTH give them an advantage to do this?

As for directing episodes, this is a great point to go into the second half of this post:

Johanna/Molly Director Shadowing for an entire block of shooting on WCTH during Season 11. How snobbish.

Loretta/Florence producing plays. I'm sure being on Hallmark helped her advance her career this way... some how.

Andrea/Faith, Amanda/Mei, Natasha/Minnie/, Hrothgar/Ned, Loretta/Florence together for one of Loretta's plays. Hmmm, sounds like they're all BFFs and helping each others careers. Very selfish.

Viv's own children playing his character Joseph's children on WCTH. Hmmm, sounds like nepotism.

Natasha/Minnie becoming an "Auntie" to her co-stars kids and then staring in a Hallmark movie with him. Hmmm, suspicious.

SOMEONE CALLS THE COPS! HOW IS ANY OF THIS LEGAL!?!?!?1?

But seriously, why is it that when literally ANY OTHER CAST MEMBER does this stuff, Lucas fans say nothing, but if Erin so much as briefly says "yeah maybe I sort of thought about directing an episode or producing a play" suddenly it's a government conspiracy meant to intentionally hurt Chris's fans?

And I've brought this up before, but Pascale/Rosemary is very obviously a close friend/BFF to Erin. If Erin is some bitch giving her friends perks, what is Pascale getting? I've yet to see any Lucas fans answer how Pascale benefits from nepotism. She's always conveniently left out because it doesn't fit their narrative.

Also, the idea that Ben is getting any perks from dating Erin is hilarious when you actually think about it. I like Hickam and I think he's a very funny character, but if after being on the show for ELEVEN YEARS the only perk he can get is "you can have a girlfriend, but your character is still an emasculated beta-male" then he sucks at negotiating.

[angelicyoongie]

Not to spoil anything to the readers that will wait for the 10-11 chapter here on tumblr but the amount of gaslighting by this mf 🤣🤣 never have i ever felt so infuriating and angry towards a character, never mind 7, but thank you for making me want to punch every single one of them (this is me trying to explain that the story is bomb🔥) i think that as a reader, being able to feel the character’s emotions can be complicated BUT WITH THIS DELUSIONAL FUCKERS omG!!! I felts so anxious, almost suffocated trying to imagine what would it be to being in her place.

Can’t wait for the everything that it’s yet to come in the story!! Also, im so Jimin Baised right now, as always buuuut, i really want to see more interaction w him talking about his feelings to her (being as passionate as his character is im sure he would say some really deep romantic stuff) he’s been so mean and such an ass in the past chapters that i really want to see him cry for mercy 🤣🤣 like, -if you’re going to trap me here at least please be a little more romantic? But not your pervet romantic tho- i know he’s trying his best but i feel so NEEDY to see HIS VERY VERY BEST (im sorry for sounding so insane? I may have taken this a little to personal) and also Jungkook cuz he’s really cute 😭 not that im implying that there’s not enough in the story but perhaps my mind is going nuts too like in the love sick universe 😅

Im going to stop here bc at this point it’s just me rambling, and i really don’t want to spoil anything for the other readers, so I’ll wait till they’re dropped here to tell how i felt towards certain situations. My summary of this whole ask is: ✨this story is amazing ilysm✨

Lmao thank you so much!! 🤧 They go pretty hard on the manipulation/gaslighting this time around so I don't blame you for wanting to punch them LOL. The MC is not in a good place right now and I feel so bad for her, the poor girl :(

Yup, he's been a real dick so far so he needs to somewhat redeem himself if he wants the MC to ever tolerate/like him! But I think you'll really enjoy chapter 12, because that's heavily centered around Jimin 😉 It's hard trying to balance all seven characters and give them enough "screen time" but they'll all have their little moment in the coming chapters!

I can't wait to read all of your thoughts when the chapters officially drop hehe 🙈 Thank you so much for supporting me and it makes me so happy that you enjoyed the chapters!! 🥺💖

[ghostpill79]

3/19

1:02 Am

Listing to live performance of normal love by xiu xiu.

The lyrics are so good.

I wanna make something good.

I feel like shit. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t eat real food.

I want to cry right now.

Not crying.

Chewing on my comforter like I do.

Tomorrows not going to feel great. My grammar class sucks ass. Marketing is boring and dumb. I just wish I could do creative writing classes. It’s the only one I like. But if they were all like that it probably wouldn’t be good. I have to cancel or reschedule my therapist appointment. I could do it now , I’ll do it now.

2:30 AM

Still not asleep. Can’t stop thinking about music I don’t make when I’m able to. Wasn’t most of today. Well that’s harsh I got sone stuff done. But not enough for me to feel accomplished. I don’t know if I ever have or do feel that way. Maybe the closest I get is just not thinking about feeling accomplished. I’m just not thinking. I wish I had a vice to fall back on in times like this. Should I just drop out and move back home. Focus on the music. That’s not a good idea probably. I really don’t want to move back to Charlotte. Well actually I really don’t want to move back home with my mom. I should text that girl back. She seems cool. I would like being roommates with her. I guess I should look for places. And apply to them? Fuck I don’t want to do this. I want some one to just do it for me. I want it to just be done. The thought of putting effort into things that won’t for sure work out fills he with suicidal rage. I don’t want to fucking do anything. Ever.

2:39 am

Going to browse tinder because fuck what the fuck else am I gonna do!? What the fuck else is deserving of my time. It’s definitely not sleep.

2:41Am

Fuck tinder. I don’t want any of these hoes! Hahaha. I would kneel down just to lay eyes on a pussy. Just to catch a glimpse. I’d let them spit on me. I’d let them punch me. Not into the stepping on balls and dick stuff. No not my thing at all. I guess I mean do like watching humiliation stuff but I don’t think that’s something I’d want to participate in. I think the humiliation is probably much more deep seated. Well be it’s probably much more pathetic. My hand hurts from typing.

2:51 Am

Responded to girl I messaged a week ago about horror movies. She finally responded , asking me what REC is? I of course waited five minutes to respond to someone who made me wait a week. But she’s hot as fuck so fuck it. I have no shame. Like In the song I’m working on says. Even though I think I’m not going to use that line . The song is probably not going to ever be finished if I’m being honest. Must keep at it though . Must finish something.

12:14 pm

Saw that they them again. Leave me alone, you whore! She wasn’t a whore. They weren’t a whore. I don’t know. About to sit bored in marketing again. I could read to entertain myself a bit. It’s so fucking dumb - that class. Literally for baby brained retards.

12:28 pm

The Spotify algorithm loves fievel is glauque I like them too but Jesus. Every daily mix is like a quarter them.

Listening to answer by Tyler the creator now.

3:55 pm

Shitting. “ I were you I start working 80 , 90 hours a week”. I want to write about a southern guy who’s done with his life that runs over a twink. His freedom from his life comes at the cost of some one else’s. That’s the theme. I want to blow away my fiction class. I want to make a Paul Thomas Anderson esc story.

Preparing myself to go to grocery store so I don’t just eat chocolate like yesterday.

[liopleurodean]

Season 12, Episode 1: Keep Calm And Carry On

Don't they normally do the Road So Far stuff in the finale? Kinda weird I didn't notice

Also, they named the episode after the Kansas song, and then didn't even use it. Come on, people

She has no clue what's happening?

Yeah, that's fair

She's not gonna believe that

Because he's your son

That's cute

Yeah...

Honey, it's been over three decades

Oh, Dean...

New title card!

Oh boy

Dude don't walk towards it!

Cas!

That's helpful

Awesome

Don't just ditch the guy!

Maybe the John that she knew

Yeah.

Yeah, that doesn't really make sense

With what?

It's a dude with a bullet wound

This is really not good

They're psychopaths

Seriously?

Oh boy

Yeah, I can imagine

Yikes

They're trying to show that she has a heart, and it's not working

Seriously. Psychopaths

Whatever

Don't underestimate him

If you wanted questions, you should've come in peace

It was your own fault

Doesn't look much like helping to me

I don't believe that

Yeah...

Waterboarding is a war crime

Weird

Looks like fun, actually

What, is it getting hotter?

Yup

Not exactly

Here we go

Yeah, no dip

Well, that'll clue him in

Nice

It's been a hot minute since she's hunted

I love the mini fridge among the old books

Spooky

Cas!

Hugs!

Oh yeah, I forgot that everyone thought Dean was dead

We know, Cas

Fantastic

Cameras?

Oh yeah, she died in the 80s. Wild

Awesome

Baby!

You bet she is

This is sweet

Dean.

He did not want to know that

Nope

Yeah

They didn't see you helping

Hi. Let me introduce you to the United States of America, which is TOO BIG TO WARD THE WHOLE COUNTRY. You have an entire organization dedicated to a country that's smaller than 80% of our states! HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO COMPETE???

Well I'm SORRY that the ENTIRE AMERICAN MEN OF LETTERS CHAPTER WAS WIPED OUT. You know, maybe you could've HELPED US OUT A LITTLE??? Hunters are all that's left! They thought the MoL was a myth!!! So sue them if there's not enough people to keep up with a space LARGER THAN EUROPE

Absolutely not.

Hah! There's no such thing

Good luck with that

I doubt you'd last a day

Seriously???

WHY DO YOU THINK THATS A LEGITIMATE OPTION???

They're insane!!!!!

Lucifer is burning through vessels

They are

I think you are

Sure

It'll happen

They had it coming

And Moe!

Dude.

Surprisingly, he's better than the others

Yikes

Ha! That's what you think

Awesome.

LADY. YOU ARE A PSYCHOPATH YOURSELF

That won't work either

Eugh. Yeah, that would look pretty bad

Yeah, I'll bet

But generally not 30 years later

I mean. It's doable, but not fun

Fair

That's so real, actually

Liar

Nice

That's gotta hurt

Creepy

Mm. Maybe

He's a horrible liar

It didn't stick

Taken

You think???

That was unnecessary

I don't think that will work

Oh, dang

I feel like this should be illegal

Whoa!

Definitely should be illegal

Hey!

Aw, come on!!!

Lady, you are in for some fun times

You're gonna regret that

Oh, that's not good

I want to punch her so bad

What is in those things?

Well crap

Come on Sam, you're okay

Nice!

Sam...

She wildly miscalculated

He didn't actually go for the throat, right? It was just a ploy

Yup

I don't know what she was expecting

He was so close

I have seen. So many gifs of that

I don't think so

Yeah.

Oh, Dean...

The family business

He has to believe that

Oh, I can't look

Awesome

This is not a great place to be

[jacksazrael09]

Tw: Self harm, love,vent

I kinda hope you read this and kinda understand…

You wanna know why I act like act? Why it seams like I haven’t interest in you? Why I don’t write about my feelings or myself? Why I always look and seams so fucking angry?

Okay.

6 am : I wake up

7 am : I take a shower

8 am : first cigarette while making food for the cats

9 am : I probably make me food

10 am : I clean up my apartmant

12:45 am: I go to work

11 pm : I come home

12 pm : I clean the house and cats

1 am : I make myself something to eat (if I eat)

1:15 am : I fall asleep

I work from 8 to 9 hour shifts a hole week long. I don’t have time for myself or others or family. Not even to eat.

For the first time in my life I’m left alone with so much responsibility’s.

I feel alone since moved here together. Since then.

Before that I hade you a year and a abusive best friend, your ex. Before that I had Nobody.

I felt so alone after a long fucking time. But I wasn’t brave enough to talk about. I saw you dying slowly before my eyes. I saw how much you struggle with everything then and now. I didn’t want to be a burden even when you told me I’m not.

For the first time I saw you having fun and feeling alive and I didn’t want to mess this up. Then you moved back and I was alone again. We saw each other not often I was alone again.

Yes you got people that annoyed you and still do. Yes you got C and P. I got Nobody left here! Nobody can come over Nobody spends a minute with me I haven’t made real friends Cause when?

My family ist there for me. They mean nothing to me. All I had is down there where you are.

I need to watch over two cats. Over myself. I try so hard to be strong for you I try to support you I’m working on solutions so your life gets better I work so hard to send you money to survive.

Everything I did or do is for you. I spend time looking for stuff for you.

Yes I don’t show much affection at the moment I know, and I feel very bad for it. I hate myself for it.

A big part of me is very a-romantic and I try to focus on feeling love to show you.

Yes I forgot every second sentence. But it’s just something my head does. If I can’t remember it it didn’t happened and it didn’t hurt. Sadly I forgot to much.

I’m working my ass of for you.

I try to protect you from my world at the moment.

When you feel sad, hurt, angry, happy I can feel it without even having contact with you. So I try to control my feelings. I push them away till I can’t really feel them so you don’t have to feel them

I feel so good damn empty and alone like walking alone on the train tracks waiting for the train

To arrive and never knowing when it will come.

I get so angry all the time Cause my body DOSNT allow me any other emotions. My body does this for safety.

I try to show it but I’m so exhausted.

I try to be there but it’s so hard.

I’m so fucking scared of N/E that I get angry. She hurt me so fucking bad and I’m scared of here. Cause I know she can give you what I can’t. I know I don’t look as good as here. I have not that much time as here. I’m not Living near to you as she is.

I’m scared she takes you away from me. Cause she is flirting with you. She is trying so hard to get you. And I’m sitting here not be able to stop her from that.

It’s hard for me to see and feel you slowly dying.

So I try to look strong.

I have no one left except you.

I feel so lonely.

All I want is that it end. I’m so scared of losing you. I’m so scared all the time and also alone. Everything I do is for you. I’m not leaving this places for you. I’m working to make money to move to you. I watch over your cat for you even he is a dick to me and hates me.

I have no problem with you doing what you want but it feels like you step on everything what can hurt me at the moment.

I try to be there for you but also to protect you.

Yes I want someone who punches me so hard in my face so I can focus on important things again.

I’m waiting for you

I don’t sleep with everyone for you

I don’t kiss anyone for you

I don’t take drugs for you

I clean up for you

I go shopping for you

I stay alive for you

Everything I do is for you and still it feels like I do something wrong

You said we didn’t talk much. So I start talking more. You said it was the wrong way so I Troyes another. You said I didn’t tell you about my feelings. So i Troyes and scream for help texting you. You said you will answer later so I waited. Then I saw N/E again on the rave where you where and felt so fucking betrayed so I try to fix it by calling you before i do something stupid and you hang up Cause I got loud. I really try not to be rude or angry but I’m hurt and alone and haven’t felt anything real at the moment except trying to help you

I just rewatched a lot of traumata and re lived them and I didn’t cut. I retired to be strong for you I’m so done with myself I’m a walking death shell with no soul.

I try everything to fix it. I want I give your every time Right. But at the times where I need you to listen to me and not interrupting me you don’t listen or interrupt me

What did i wrong I don’t understand all I do is for you. For us.

I don’t break up Cause I feel sad for you. I don’t break up Cause I love you I need you in my life Caus I’m selfish and don’t want to exist even more with out you but I got the feeling you don’t see me struggle right now.

And I don’t know how to show you I’m struggle.

I try to foil myself by telling me :

“He just said he can’t come so he can surprise me. He is waiting at home for me on my bad with roses or a cigarette a hug anything”

Even i knew it wasn’t real I drove home and had hope till i saw my appartmant empty and then I remember I betrayed myself so I drive home and don’t just get missing in the sea where i was walking.

I love it and hate it at the same time

I just want it to be fixed I’m scared and alone and broken so good damn broken i can’t even hurt myself Cause I can’t get up or do anything except breathing.

As i screams for help in that text I was so terrified you will break up with me or your Reaktion that my heart started tu hurt so much that it stoped beating for a while and I got a heart infact

I just really need you right now here by my side

Pleas help me help us…

I love you more than everything.

[wiypt-writes]

Rawhide

Chapter 13: Put On Your Red Shoes And Dance The Blues

Summay: It’s the clash of the titans as Hydra and Shield finally face off, but as Rumlow and Steve come to serious blows, you realise that the only way to end it all might be to sacrifice the thing you value the most…

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, angst, language…more angst…death…ooooh but who???

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction. I do not own any characters contained within, bar the reader and any other OCs that may be mentioned. I do not give consent for my work to be reposted/translated to any other site. Please comment, like and reblog.

W/C: 5.4k

A/N: So here it is, the penultimate chapter! Thanks to @spectre-posts for reading and adding in her thoughts...

Main Masterlist // Rawhide Masterlist Chapter 12

Rumlow blazed around the office he was in, kicking the chair over as he went. Langley, long used to his friend and leader’s temper tantrums, merely took a deep breath as he waited. 

“I will not have your Omega sister and her weakling pack get the better of me!”

“Look, if it wasn’t for Carter…”

“How the fuck did you not spot that she was a double agent?”

“Well, technically she was kind of a triple agent.” Bryce’s nostrils flared. “I mean, if she’d been Hydra pretending to be Shield, that would have made her the double agent, wouldn’t it? But she was Shield, pretending to be Hydra pretending to be Shield I mean…” He was cut off as Rumlow gripped him round the throat. Langley automatically landed a punch to the side of Rumlow’s face, and the man dropped him, recoiling from the blow a little. “Know your place, Brock…” he hissed, massaging his neck. “My family put you at the top of Hydra, remember that.”

Rumlow snarled before he sank down into the chair. “And we have no idea where they’ve gone?”

“If we did, you think we’d be here?” Bryce scoffed, “We’ve spent the last two weeks searching. Problem is, Shield have mobilised now they know that we’re gearing up for a fight. Up until your…experiment on my sister, they had no real proof. Now they do. Blue states up and down the country are taking up arms. Even those people that maybe hovered between accepting some of our views but not all of them are swinging to their side because they don't support another war. Montana is now basically impenetrable thanks to Odinson and Stark…”

“They won’t be in Montana, that’s too easy.” Rumlow shook his head. “Locking the state down…that’ll be a diversion.”

“I know that!” Bryce snorted.

“Boss?” 

Both men looked towards the door, where Rollins stood, an excited look on his face.

“What?”

“We might have a lead. One of our sources has seen two people, matching the description of Y/N and Rogers, in Bristol. Church Street Wharf to be exact.”

“Is it legit?” Rumlow demanded.

The guard nodded, “he’s a solid source, and what’s more so, he’s taken a recording on his phone so that we can verify it. He’s sending it through now.”

*****

The more you tried to pull your arm away from Steve, the stronger his grip was. The tears were now pouring down you face.

“Steve…let me go…”

“I can’t do that Omega, I need to keep you safe.”

“You can’t!” You sobbed, “I’m sorry, I love you, I really do but…Rumlow, that stuff he shot me with…”

“Was fake…” His voice was desperate, and you shook your head, sadly.

“I wish it was, but he did something to me…there’s something going on and all I know is I can’t fight the Omega part of me anymore…it’s wants him and it disgusts me! Why do you think I ran? Huh? I can’t trust myself!”

“Please, baby…” Steve’s face broke and a piece of your soul did too, and he released his hold on your wrist. “Just please, ‘Y/N get on the ferry… Banner is working on it as we speak, we can fix this. I know we can. We’ll go back until he figures out how to reverse whatever it is that it’s done. You don’t need to leave!”

“You know he ain’t gonna be able to,” you shook our head. “This is breaking my heart and it hurts so much because I love you…I know I do, but…it burns inside…every time you kiss me it really burns because my body is telling me I’m his now, and…”

“Don’t…don’t say that…our bond…” Steve’s eyes were full of tears.

“It’s fading…” you swallowed, hand pressing at the mark on your neck as you cast your eyes down, “don’t pretend you haven’t noticed…” At that your fingers moved your collar aside to show him. Steve studied the once prominent infinity bond on your skin, and he felt his chest ache and throat as he studied it. You were right, it did look a little lighter.

He took a deep breath, his voice cracking.  “Please… just please, come back. Give it a month, or a week. Let Banner try…”

“You have Hydra to…”

“Fuck Hydra!” Steve snapped, his hand running through his hair, before both his large palms covered his face. With a groan, he dragged his fingers back down through his beard and shook his head. “I don’t care about them, not anymore. I love you, I can’t live without you…you gotta give us a chance…”

“You know what the awful thing about all this is?” You whispered, wiping the tears from your face. “You haven’t once tried to Alpha Command me to do as you say.”

“I don’t want to…why-“

“And we both know why.” You smiled sadly, “you don’t want to because you’re scared it won’t work. Scared that I won’t answer to you anymore.” From the look on Steve’s face, you were right. You looked around, your arms hugging your chest, before you took a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll…I’ll come back..but…I can’t…I can’t promise…”

“I know…” His lips brushed your forehead, “but we gotta try, huh?”

You nodded, and looked at his hand as he held it out. Tentatively, you slipped your palm into his, fingers twining together. Steve pulled you into him a little, casting what he hoped was a surreptitious look around, before he led you back towards the ferry.

Neither of you noticed the man a few yards away, with his phone out, pointing the camera in your direction…

*******

As the video cut off, Rumlow scoffed. “Pathetic. He’s actually begging her…”

“Where does that Ferry go?” Bryce looked at Rollins.

“Prudence Island. Secluded enough for a safe house.”  He smirked.

There was a pause as Rumlow and Langley digested that news, before the latter broke the silence. “It could be a trap.”

“I don’t think so.” Rollins shook his head. “They were taking great pains to hide from the CCTV, if it hadn’t been for our guy being there, right place right time…”

“Rogers ain’t that smart.” Rumlow shook his head, “and it aint his style. He’s a soldier, like me. But he’s also persistently blinded by his need to do the right thing, the honourable thing, meaning he doesn’t always see the bigger picture.” His fingers drummed on the desk as he mused through his thoughts. “You know, I’ve been waiting for his Alpha Challenge for the past two weeks, fighting to defend his little Omega Whore’s honour, but it never came. And now we know why.” Rumlow then chuckled. “He’s had bigger issues, because the serum worked.”

“Looks that way…” Langley arched a brow.

“So there’s nothing to make us assume the Alpha one won’t.” Rollins cut in, and Rumlow pointed at him, nodding.

“Guess not.” Langley spoke again, his voice flat.

“What is the matter with you?” Rumlow looked at him.

“I don’t know, I’m just not sold…”

“More like you want to take the serum yourself, because you can’t stand the fact that soon you’ll have no chance against me in a fight.”  Rumlow rose from his seat as Bryce scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, neither will Rogers. I almost had him beat last time, and that was without the serum. If it hadn’t been for his guard dog… “ he trailed off and looked at Rollins. “Tell everyone to ready the lab…I want it doing this afternoon. In the meantime, get some of our troops out undercover, see if we can locate this safe house.” He moved out from behind the desk, stopping as he smirked once more. “Shouldn’t take too long, Prudence Island ain’t that big… “

******

“You think this plan is gonna work?” Clint asked from his vantage point in the tree that sat on the boundary of the property. 

“Not if you keep talking.” Bucky mumbled back. 

"Not for nothing, Steve's thrown it together quick and our girl in there seems a bit...."

“She’s nervous, wouldn’t you be?” Natasha spoke over the comms. “Stop talking and keep your focus. They could be anywhere.”

"Yes, ma'am, Widow ma'am." Clint snickered.

“Amateur.” She replied sardonically

Sam cut through, "knock it, we've got incoming."

Clint scanned the horizon, his sharp eyes licking up t hee movement of a vehicle. The headlights off. “I see it. Can’t tell if it’s  them…”

“Who else is it gonna be?” Bucky snarled.

“A lost civilian…” Clint replied.

“Quit stalling, light ‘em up Hawkeye.”

"With pleasure."

Clint reached for one of his arrows, clicking the small button on the side to arm it. He took aim, and let it fly. It landed perfectly, five foot or so in front of the vehicle, exploding upon impact with the ground.

The car swerved and came to an abrupt stop. Two men exited, armed and scanning the area.

“He he he,” Sam chuckled, “I love it when they do that.”

Clint selected another arrow, “let’s see if this gives them the message…”

This time, upon hitting the ground, it sent off loud crackles of gunfire. The two men were quick to duck and dive back into the car.

Bucky sent a round of ammo their way, watching as it pinged off the bonnet of the car as the driver put it hastily in reverse. It down round, and Bucky continued to shoot until it was out of sight.

“Well, that saw them off…” Sam stated.

“They’ll be back, that was just the scouting party.” Bucky sighed, “I’m gonna head up to the house. Natasha, Clint, any more trouble holler.”

"You got it," Nat replied, her comms giving a crackle as she did so.

Bucky made it back within ten minutes. Steve and yourself awaiting news. "Scouting party cracked through, I'm estimating we'll have about thirty before enforcers show."

Steve didn’t miss the spike of fear that shot through you, your hand instantly moving to your bond mark, but it stopped short of touching it.

Rather, you rested your fingers against your collarbone and tucked your other wrist under your bent elbow. "We should be ready. Rumlow will send everyone, then he'll follow. I don't doubt Bryce will be by his side. He's not the enforcement type."

"Well it's taken them longer than we anticipated." Steve looked at you then to Bucky. "How far out s Fury and the rest of back up? "

Bucky called it in, "Hill says ETA thirty."

"Steve..." You whispered.

"I know. But it's a fight we have to take."

You stood numb. You knew that Steve was right. Rumlow wouldn't stop at anything not until he had you. "Stick to the plan." Steve looked at Bucky then turned to you. “Please, stay hidden in the storm shelter. Banner will be there…”

Your breath shook as it left your lungs. "I..."

“Omega…”

“I’ll take her.” Bucky said, “c’mon, Doll…we don’t have much time.”

Your pleading eyes looking at Steve for a final chance, but he just stared. A snarl to his features. You steeled yourself and turned away, following Bucky out the back door.

*****

The sound of gun shots, the unmistaken yells and grunts of fighting rang out in the air in the grounds surrounding the safe house. Hydra had come, and come in numbers.

For the most, Shield held their own. Fury, Hill and Coulson directing their troops, as Steve commanded his. 

But he had one person on his mind, Rumlow. And so far, he was nowhere to be found.

Fury's team had wounded and casualties. Steve and his team, few scratches, close calls and oh there would be bruises. But it was no longer just a battle, this was an all out war. The open fields gave little cover. The tree lines smoked and burned.

Steve dispatched two agents easily, Bucky to his left as they charged through the ranks.

“Where the hell is he?” Steve yelled, “where is Rumlow?”

“I haven’t seen him…” Thor replied, swinging his arm as he took out three agents at once. Steve then raised his shield and sent it flying in an arc, the familiar whoosh and clang almost soothing to him as it flew back to his arm having ricochet off numerous soldiers.

"I'm getting a little tired of," he paused to throw his shield into the neck of a goon, "playing these games."

“Yeah, as far as games go I’ve played with better odds.” Tony’s voice cackled on the comms.

No sooner had Tony spoken, a loud rumble sounded and Steve instinctively looked up to see a large black and red helicopter approaching from the distance.

“Hydra?”

“It ain’t ours!” Fury yelled back.

"It's about time," Steve growled.

The Hydra troops seemed to pull back and part as the chopper circled. Fury and Hill yelled at their soldiers to fall in as Steve stood still, watching as it touched down in the middle of the field.

Steve's steel gaze stared as Rumlow exited the doors, fourth in line. Bryce preceded him as did two armed men. Sam's comms broke the deaf air.

"I got three more this way," he grunted as others piled out from the other side.

“I see them…” Steve muttered. His eyes then turned back to Rumlow.

There was a snide, almost prideful smirk on his face as he stared back at Steve.

“Where’s your little bitch?” His voice rang out across the battle lines.

Steve wasted zero time sending his shield in reply. He wasn't in the mood for talking.

Rumlow managed to grab one of the soldiers to his side, pushing him into the shields path. He gave a yell and a grunt as he fell to the floor, the shield bouncing back to Steve’s arm.

“Oh, okay…well, doesn’t really matter. Once I’ve killed you, she’ll be mine anyway. That is, if she isn’t already.”

At that Steve audibly scoffed. “What do you mean by that? Course she isn’t yours, she’s mine. We share a Soul Bond.”

Rumlow scoffed, “cut the shit, Rogers, we both know that’s a load of crap. Her mark is fading, I know all about it!”

Steve’s face visibly faltered, even if his stance didn’t.

“Guess that serum I injected her with worked better than I thought.” Rumlow continued to goad Steve. “But, how about we put the one I took to the rest, huh?”

Steve sent his Shield in Bucky's direction, the former soldier catching it quickly. He cracked his neck and his knuckles, "let's dance."

“He’s mine!” Rumlow yelled out, as he advanced, “kill the rest of them but leave him to me!”

The private protection spread out, leaving Rumlow alone; including Bryce.

“I’m gonna enjoy this,” Rumlow picked up the pace as the rest of the Hydra army also began to rush forward once more.

Like a clash of titans, the two came at one another. Steve made first contact, his right hook sending Rumlow a step or two back. Rumlow cracked his neck as he went in with a punch of his own. Steve was quick to duck, flying in with a left hander to Rumlow’s gut.

Rumlow bent forward and Steve's well padded knee met the Hydra head's nose. He dropped down to the decaying grass with a thud, his back finding no cushion. As Steve drew his hand back for another punch, Rumlow rolled to the side and the captains fist connected with the floor where seconds before, his opponents head had been.

It gave Brock the opportunity to get to his knees and wrap a forearm around Steve's neck. But with his fast reflexes, Steve flung Rumlow over him and onto his back again.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, you son of a bitch."

Not even winded, Rumlow cackled and fixed a hooked knee over Steve and pulled his right arm through for an arm bar in defense.

With just a split-second of freedom before his arm was straightened, Steve grabbed onto his lapel with his trapped right arm. He slid his left elbow under Rumlow’s right leg and began shuffling his own legs around to the side. His hips under Rumlow’s foot, he began to twist and roll, eventually turning his entire body inwards which allows him to sneak his head out of the vice like grip. 

Rumlow lost his grip entirely on the Shield Captain and he flexed his back and popped right up. He dove at Steve's midsection but, his tackle failed and Steve was able to suplex him again to the ground.

"Serum's a fail, you fuck."

Rumlow laughed, “shows what you know.“

"I'm waiting."

Rumlow stood straight, grinning as he seemed to be weighing something up. And then, Steve saw the flash of a blade as it slid down the mans sleeve.

“So much for a fair fight…” Steve arched his brow.

“Fuck fair,” Rumlow gripped the blade in his right hand, “I came to win.”

Steve knew his hand to hand combat was already top game, but he knew how quick Hydra could train with a blade. But Steve did as Steve always did, and didn't back down. Instead, he stuck his arm out and extended his hand. He opened and closed his fist, inviting Rumlow to come at him again.

Rumlow slashed at the air in front of him, causing Steve to jump back. Again and again the blade swiped him, Steve dodging in what felt like some kind of perverse dance. Left, right, back, forward, twist…

But, a stray bullet hissing by caused Steve to dodge that ultimately setting himself up for a prick to his side from the blade. He hissed, jumped backwards, and as he did so he heard a yell to his right.

A familiar voice.

Despite himself, he turned and saw Natasha crumpled on the floor, blood pouring from a wound in her neck.

"Nat!"

He saw a whirl as Bucky flew past, diving at Langley who had administered the blow, taking him down in a tangle of limbs. The two men began to grapple, flashes of metal arched through the air, Bucky using Steve’s shield to deflect the blows from a now rabid Langley.

Steve stood, watching his friend for a split second, but it was a split second too long. It was the distraction Rumlow had needed, and before Steve had time to realise what was happening, he felt a searing pain in the back of his thigh.

Rumlow had taken advantage and plunged the blade into his leg.

Steve dropped to one knee, and then the blow to his face from Rumlow’s foot caused him to crumple backwards. “You know, that’s always been your weakness, Rogers. Your friends. Loyalty. You care too much. It’s the reason you could never be a ruler, never be as great as Hydra has made me.”

Steve spat the blood out of his mouth. He moved to get up when another blow hit him in the face. 

“You can’t see the bigger picture, can’t see that sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the greater good…” Rumlow leered over him as Steve lay, the blood from his nose trickling down his throat.

Then he saw the blade as it moved in Rumlow’s hand. And the he gasped as the man’s knee pressed into the middle of his chest.

“Imma enjoy this…almost as much as I’m going to enjoy breaking in Y/N. My only regret is you won’t be there to see it.”

Steve swallowed, attempting to buck Rumlow off, but it was no good. His eyes tracked the blade as it moved towards his neck, and then your voice filled his head.

“I got you, Alpha…”

Before he could even scan the area for you, your shout rang out loud and clear.

“Enough…Brock! Enough…”

Rumlow's head snapped in your direction, distracted and amazed.

“Call them off.” You swallowed, “let Steve go and…you can have me.”

Steve's eyes went wide. "No!" He argued.

A sadistic laugh rumbled Brock's chest, "Oh, 'Mega, I'm gonna enjoy this."

A final harsh blow to the side of Steve’s head left him seeing stars as you felt the tears prick your eyes. Your gaze then flicked to Natasha. Bruce (who you’d arrived with) was now tending to her, attempting to stop the blood flow.

Everyone seemed to have stood still, Hydra and Shield alike. Bucky and Sam took the opportunity to head over to where Steve was laid, unmoving on the floor, whilst Pete, Tony, Thor and Clint all gathered round Natasha and Bruce, shielding them from any attack which may or may not be oncoming.

“Little Bird…” Thor began but you shook your head.

“This isn’t worth it…I’m not worth it.” You whispered, your eyes flicking from him, to Natasha who was thankfully conscious, and then to Steve. Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath, and looked at Rumlow as he advanced towards you. “You got what you wanted. Just call this off. Please.“

As he stood in front of you, his hand gripped your wrist painfully and his eyes studied your neck. “Well, well…not so infinite, huh…”

The way he pronounced the word, like it was something dirty, made you choke a little as you licked your lips. “Oh, it was…until you…you injected me. It’s been fading ever since. If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t have stood a chance. And you’ll always know that, no matter what you do to me. That you couldn’t ever have taken me, or defeated Steve, without that Serum. Because you simply weren’t strong enough.”

A stinging blow landed to your face and you heard a roar from Steve, who was now staggering to his feet. He swayed, as Bucky and Sam held him up.

“Rumlow…I’m…”

“You’ll what?” Brock laughed, “I have her, she’s here. Begging for me to take her and save you.”

Steve looked at you, and you blinked back the tears. “Steve…”

“Please don’t…” he whispered.

“Please don’t...” Rumlow mocked, “God, you really are fucking pathetic. That all you got, ‘please don’t’? You can’t even stop your Omega from sacrificing herself…” He looked down at you, then to Bryce, and finally to Steve. “I mean…one Alpha command from you would stop this but….oh, yeah, silly me…I forgot. Your bond…it’s worthless now.”

Rumlow yanked you closer towards him. Steve made a move, a snarl rippling from his chest but Bucky and Sam were quick to hold him back. They knew that they were beat, and Steve wouldn’t make it two steps towards you before being gunned down.

A hand gripped your hair and your head was yanked painfully to the side, exposing your mating gland and the faded gold infinity bond. Smirking, Rumlow’s  gaze on the defeated faction, his tongue fell from his mouth and laved up your neck.

You winced, your eyes filling with tears as they locked onto Steve’s face. His expression was sheer devastation.

“I’m sorry…” you whispered, those blue eyes you knew and loved were swimming with tears and you couldn’t look anymore.

With a sigh, you closed your own. And then, as Rumlow’s sharp teeth latched onto your neck skin, the sound of your beloved Alpha’s bellows of distress were the only thing you could focus on. You waited with your eyes screwed shut, every nerve in your body was on fire, the adrenaline coursing through your blood as you fought the instinct to scream.  You could hear nothing but your pulse thudding in your ears, Rumlow’s pants and groans of delight as he laved up the blood on your neck.

And then, you felt him pull back, a frown on his face.

“What’s the matter, Brock…” you whispered, as you opened your eyes, “don’t I taste good?”

For a moment, he merely blinked, and then he moved his hand, pulling the thin, flesh like strip from his mouth. “What the…”

“One of Erskine and Banner’s inventions.” You spoke softly, as he looked at the two puncture marks where his teeth had bitten into the curious item he now held in his palm. “Still in the prototype phase, doesn’t have a name yet but…oh, and speaking of Erskine… the serums were both fake. Shield switched them out before you raided the lab.”

You saw his gaze slide to your neck, and his features slid from puzzlement, to shock, to anger in a matter of seconds as he saw your Soul Bond was there, as bright and as vivid as it always had been.

“Gotcha,” you smirked.

****

24 Hours Ago…

After your little scene at the ferry port, you and Steve made your way back to the safe house. You followed your alpha to the door, where it was opened from the inside. Bucky, Sam and Clint waiting for the pair of you.

“Banner not here yet?” Steve asked as you headed in.

“No, he’s still putting the finishing touches to the, well whatever you wanna call it. As soon as he’s done then he’ll be on his way with Tony and Thor.” Sam informed.

“And he’s confident it’ll work.”

“It’s a potent neurotoxin.” Bucky nodded, “the only reason we’ve never used it before is because there’s no known antidote.”

Steve took a deep breath, “well, let’s just say I’m very glad Hydra didn’t get their hands on that…”

Client's eyes drew up, "how'd it go? Play the part?"

“Oscar worthy.” Steve smirked, and despite yourself you grinned.

“Think they’ll find this place?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, we made sure our vehicle was noticeable.” You nodded.

"Now, we wait." Bucky nodded.

As you waited, you went through your plan, over and over again. The first part was already in play. By pretending that the serum had worked, that you were feeling its effects and as such, your bond to Steve was fading, it would give Rumlow false confirmation that the Alpha serum would make him stronger. This, you hoped, would cause his arrogance to win out, have him mobilise and break cover, and more over leave him complacent on the battlefield.

Whilst Steve was still intent on ripping Rumlow’s head off, he had acquiesced and listened when you’d pleaded with him that you needed a plan B. And, after days of deliberation and plotting, that plan was finalised. Should Rumlow get the drop on Steve, then in you’d come, acting the part of the subservient Omega, all the time having a deadly poison concealed on your body. Concealed in plain sight, a small invisible pouch right over your mating gland. You knew Rumlow wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taunting Steve, that he’d try to bond you there and then, and when he did, his teeth would pierce the pouch, unleashing a fast acting, deadly neurotoxin, that would leave him dead in a matter of minutes.

Steve wasn’t completely happy about it, and you knew that he would do his absolute utmost to not even let it get to the point of needing to use you, but you also had no intention of letting any of your friends die. No matter what, you’d be walking onto that battle field and offering yourself up. Because, for some reason, you knew it had to be that way. You knew it had to be you.

A few hours post your return, Steve’s phone went and it was Natasha.

“They’re in the area, just picked two of their goons up. Following the route your car did.”

“Alright, hang back…” Steve took a deep breath. “Inform Parker and have him call me when they pass his watch point. Then we’ll know for sure they’re following the trail.“

"You got it, Cap," she said.

Steve sensed the smirk in her voice.

With a scoff he cut the call, then looked at Bucky and Sam.

“You know the plan. The scout party needs to escape, notify Rumlow they’ve located us.”

"Got it," Sam replied. Bucky merely nodded. 

Clint picked up his bow and smirked. "'Bout time."

“Wait for my signal. As soon as Parker calls I’ll let you know.”

"Yup," Clint followed Sam and Bucky out.

You eyed Steve with a look of major worry. "I hope this works.

“Well, if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain…” he shrugged, “I know it’ll work.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Steve looked at you, before he smiled softly and pressed his lips to yours. “It’s your plan.”

*****

“You fucking bitch…” Rumlow snarled. Those Omega skills you’d been honing with Nat kicked in as you saw the blow coming a split second before he went to make it. You ducked under his arm and twirled around, backing up quickly towards where Steve was stood. Rumlow advanced on you but only made it three or four steps before he stopped, his eyes widening, as he struggled to take in air.

He grasped at his neck, clawing at the collar of his uniform as his face was rapidly turning a puce colour.

“Pretty potent neurotoxin.” You stepped back towards him. “I estimate you’ve got about thirty seconds left.”

You watched as Brock fell to his knees, scratching at the skin on his neck, and you looked down at him, your eyes locked on his, relishing the fact that his pupils were now blown with fear.

“Wanna know the really, really funny thing about all this?” You looked at him. “When I came up with our little plan, it was Thor that had the most faith in it working. Because he’s always said that it would be Hydra’s inability to embrace things that you cannot understand, those which you simply refuse to believe that would eventually be your downfall. And here we are.” You smiled, “I bet you never in a million years would have believed that a lowly Omega could even dream of such a plan, let alone enact it like I did. And, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have been able to had it not for those extra little abilities my Soul Bond seems to have given me. You know, such as shielding my mind and emotions from you. Had you done your research, give any sort of credence to the fact that this-“ you ran your fingers over your mark, “-might actually be what the myths and legends say, you might not be about to die.”

At that point, Rumlow began to foam at the mouth, his body convulsing as he lay back. Blood was trickling from his nose and his eyes, as he lay looking up at you, the veins in his neck and temple popping. A gurgling noise rose from his throat, before he suddenly stilled, his head lolling to one side. Unseeing eyes looked out of his head, around at the Hydra troops who stood motionless, looking down at their now dead leader.

It was as if time had stood still, no one moved, no one said a word, that was until you heard a familiar voice screeching at you. You wheeled on the spot sharply, as you saw Bryce raise his gun in your direction.

And then it all seemed to happen in slow motion, Steve’s shield arched through the air, knocking the gun from his hand, as Bucky, Sam and Tony ran forward. Whilst Fury barked orders, you watched as the three men surrounding Bryce pushed him to his knees.

“I’ve told Hill and Coulson to clean up.” Fury spoke, as you kept your eyes locked onto your brothers, eyes that were so like your fathers. “They’re beaten, they know they are. We can get the back to our camp and then contact the World Security Council. We’re going to need their help if we want to unite the states…”

“Hydra will never be beaten…” Bryce shrieked his voice almost hysterical, “cut off one head…”

“Shut up.” Sam groaned.

“He has a point.” Steve spoke, looking at Fury. “As long as Hydra have someone to rally around, someone spouting their bullshit cause, they’ll never be gone. And, as such, neither will Shield. We agreed, neither faction can survive. This blue vs red…it has to stop.”

“Then we get rid of him.” Bucky stated, “what was it Rumlow said, you have to make sacrifices for the greater good…”

“Buck, we can’t…”

“Can’t what? Kill him? I assure you, we totally can…”

A heated debate then broke out, the phrase war crime being uttered once or twice, all the time you kept your eyes locked on your brother.  In that split second, a hundred memories from your previous life flooded your mind. The cruelty you'd suffered at his hands, the pain and anguish you'd felt when he had killed your first Alpha.

As you saw Colin's face flash to the forefront of the metaphorical slide show, all you could see was the fear in his face as he told you to run, before he turned back to what he knew would be his certain death, to give you chance to escape.

With a slow movement, you reached out your right hand…

Moments later, a loud bang echoed around the field, causing the arguing party to jump. Bryce slumped to the floor, a perfect shot landed right between his eyes. You were aware of everyone staring at you as you tossed Natasha’s gun to the floor and took a deep breath, simply staring at your dead brother’s body.

“Fuck Hydra, and fuck him.”

**Chapter 14**

[dreamsgazer]

Day 3 - Holiday Food

12 Days of Christmas

Warnings: Some minor swearing, mention of sex but no smut or anything graphic.

I wasn’t exactly surprised when Lemon told me that most of the Twins’ Christmas meals used to come out from a frozen plastic tray, when they were children. 

I was more surprised however, that things haven’t changed much now that they can definitely afford food worthy of its name.

Lemon grabs an apple from the Murano fruit bowl Tangerine and I bought in Venice for him during our last romantic gateway “I guess the holidays are not really a huge thing when you risk to be abroad during them because you have a mission.”

He bites the fruit, shrugging “I mean, we put on the decorations and all the stuff, but we never know if we will be in London to enjoy them during the actual day. They are still nice, though,” he adds, looking around with pride. I let my gaze take in the decorations he has picked during one of our longest shopping trips earlier in December. While my Tangerine definitely likes the more traditional - and obscenely expensive - decorations, carefully arranged with measure in the halls of his penthouse, Lemon is... eclectic.

If I must find a theme, I will definitely go with Winter Wonderland Candyland & Glittering Stuff that Lemon randomly liked. It works, though, in its own way. Exactly like Lemon.

I stop staring at a glittery tree decoration shaped like Thomas the Tank Engine –  one of the many, many Thomas ornaments spread around us ”Well, since this year you both are going to be around to enjoy them, how about we organize a proper Christmas lunch?”

”That’s a good idea,” his face lights up with sheer delight “we can have turkey and festive punch and all the good stuff! We can phone a restaurant and see if they deliver on Christmas day!”

“Or I could do it!”

Lemon looks at me, his eyebrows lifting in surprise “You mean you are willing to cook us a meal?”

“Not a meal,” I tut with fake annoyance “but a full, complete, hopefully tasty Christmas lunch.”

He seems at loss for words, but not displeased. I shrug “Listen Lem, you guys always do nice things for me, all the time, so it seems only natural I want to reciprocate.”

“Well, you are banging my brother and you are a sweet, fun person to have around,” he interrupts me with a huge grin “It’s no big deal to be nice with you!”

I hope I’m not blushing at both the brotherly teasing and the sweet compliment “Uh, thanks I guess. But that’s my point: it’s no big deal to cook a nice meal for people I care about. Especially for Christmas!”

He still seems reluctant to accept my offer so I insist “If this makes you feel better, I can let you help me. Tangerine is out of question,” I quickly add “I love him to the moon and back, but I would like not to set my kitchen on fire! Or having the turkey thrown in frustration outside the window! Or-”

“Yes, point taken, darling, thank you very much.”

We both turn on our tall stools in time to see Tangerine entering Lemon’s kitchen with a pouting expression, back from his tailoring session for a new suit. 

“Already back?” Lemon asks.

“Yeah, just in time to listen to the two of you trash talk my cooking skills”

”What skills?”

Tangerine flips him off, making his brother laugh “C’mon mate, do you remember when you tried to make us a Crisp Sandwich and you somehow destroyed the packet and then smashed the crisps?”

”I was fucking ten, Lemon!” is the indignant reply.

”So was I, but my packet didn’t look like a T-rex had gone through it.”

I try not to laugh, gently grabbing Tangerine’s tailored jacket and forcing him to bend over where I’m sitting. I kiss him lightly, the familiar tickle of his moustache a welcomed and well-known added sensation “Sorry, T, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

I’m aware that while he’s not annoyed for real, some cuddles are not going to hurt. He likes them too much even if he won’t ever voice that out loud. 

Tangerine huffs against my lips, wrapping an arm around my shoulders “Kiss me again and maybe I will consider buying you a nice Christmas present, you naughty little thing.”

Lemon pretends to gag in the background, and I laugh pushing my lips against Tangerine’s. He lingers a moment longer, then straightens himself “So, Christmas Lunch, uh? Do you think I have enough culinary skills to help you at least with the groceries?”

I want to reply something sweet and warm, but Lemon interjects with a devilish grin “I fear not. Do you remember two years ago when I asked you to buy some custard and you came back with a jar of mustard?”

My snort is covered by Tangerine’s frustrated groan “Oh, fuck off, would you?”

”Don’t worry, love,” I pat his arm affectionately “We’ll let you pick the wine. Maybe.”

[adrianasunderworld]

Mc gets turned into a child trope via some magic bullshit. We know it, we love it. But usually Mc is turned into a baby or a five year old. You know, small,cute, squishy. Imagine instead if Mc got reverted back to their middle school self. An edgy little 11-12 year old running around the House of Lamentation.

Paranormal fiction had Mc by the throat at that age, so they are perfectly ok with being surrounded by demons and think this is the coolest thing ever. "Lucifer can you fly with those wings? Can you take me flying? Can I pet Cerberus? Can I, can I, pleeeaaase?"

They go back to their hardcore weeb phase and are in Levi's room at all hours of the day. Levi has his noise cancelling headphones on so he can game while Mc is sitting in front of his TV watching their childhood anime. Or has YouTube pulled up watching AMVs. You can hear the beat of Cascadas Everytime we Touch on repeat all the way on the other side of the house.

If this is a fem!Mc, Asmo is going to have to drag her kicking and screaming to go clothes shopping. Because she was in too deep with the "I'm not like other girls" phase. She's going to awkwardly stand around Majolish while Asmo tries to find stuff in her size.

"Mc, I don't want to hear anymore whining. You need clothes, and that's that. Now what about this shirt? I think it would look so nice on you, and it even comes in your favorite color. Thoughts?"

Mc shrugged. "I don't know...."

"What do you mean you don't know? Either you like it or you don't."

"I don't know, it's fine I guess. Can we go now?"

Lucifer finds them with a magic book and a goblet and he sees a passage requireing blood and snatches the goblet out of Mcs hands.

"What do you think you're doing!? This is way to- this isn't blood."

"it's ..." They mumble something incoherent.

"What was that?"

"I said it's fruit punch because no one would give me real blood."

[edsbacktattoo]

I was tagged by @epersonae to discuss my writing process and strap in because it’s fucking strange! 💕

Do you write in order?

100%. Unfortunately I am rather stupid, so my brain can’t maintain coherency if I need to go back and revisit something. It needs to be completed in order. This has in fact led to more than one frustrated breakdown about fic. I will go from Point A to Point B if it kills me. If I don’t know what to do next, I can’t just do the vague -insert short line here about what they’re doing and come back to it later-. I will sit there, completely stuck, until it occurs to me. I do not recommend this and I am also insane.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

About 85%. Once I have that first draft, I look it over and find typos or missing words, etc. Once it’s cleaned up, I start to fix things that don’t flow right or sound strange in my head.

How many drafts do you go through?

Usually one. I will use a second draft if I get really really stuck and have to start again. But I don’t tend to use a whole bunch of drafts, I just keep tweaking the first until it’s in a place I’m happy with.

Tell me about your process.

Please keep in mind that I am very deranged so this almost completely does not make sense.

I usually sit down in bed with a cup of tea or some ice water and start writing. Usually I will have music playing out loud because if I’m using headphones - even though I love them usually - they will make me feel overwhelmed. I play music out loud very very quietly or, if I need to concentrate real hard, I write in silence. And then I just go.

After I get that first word vomit onto the page, I fix it up until it’s legible. I read it over paragraph by paragraph and fix each one as I go.

Then! This is the weird bit!

I have all of my work saved to my microsoft 365 account, which means I can access it from any device that has the app. So! If I’m inspired through the day — usually at work, I can add to it from my phone. In fact, I also do a lot of my writing first thing in the morning straight from my phone. Don’t ask why that happens, I haven’t an answer.

Anyway! After a shift at work, I will sit in my car on the rooftop parking lot of my building, and read my stuff aloud to myself.

I was talking to @skysofrey about this yesterday (while I was sitting in my car and talking to her lmao it’s a safe space <3) but, I used to think doing this was strange. Like 12 months ago I would have punched myself in the throat for even thinking it. But they taught us about this method at uni (thank you, Ursula K. Le Guin I love you forever and ever) and now I can’t finish a piece without reading it aloud first.

Once it’s been read aloud, the wonderful and amazing @tisziny beta reads it for me (I owe them my life) and then I make according adjustments. And then it’s done! :D

I will (no pressure ofc) tag @blakbonnet @wearfinethingsalltoowell @chocolatepot and @abigailpents and also anyone who feels like joining in!! This was fun!

[obeymeluv]

The Baby Assignment [Lucifer]

I have a list of actual headcanons for demon baby behaviors, but this is not that post.

You and the boys have a baby! (sort of). 

You should’ve never told Diavolo about how high schools used to have practice baby classes.

Note: most of the genders and children come from “The Bros as Dads” post.

Cut me some slack on the names. I didn’t really have them planned, haha.

Lucifer:

Extremely skeptical. This whole assignment depends on you two standing in a summoning circle and--in a flash of light there’s a KID in the middle of the floor.

It’s a GIRL! 

This triggers his demon form on reflex because he’s startled and can’t help but have flashbacks of Lilith. You’re cooing to the little girl and Lucifer feels breathless as he takes in her hair (it’s his) and those big eyes (they’re yours)

His wings flap a few times before pressing close to his body. This has caught the baby’s attention and she’s staring at him with more intelligence than a child should have.

The professor says the child will grow exponentially over the next week or so and she should be able to deliver a report on how competent you are as parents. Their developmental age will be assessed and factored in as part of the grade.

You walk carefully over to Lucifer, eyes shining and a tiny fist in your hand and oh Diavolo, he wants this child to be real right then and there!

The naming doesn’t happen until you’re back at the House of Lamentation with a massive magical trunk that will spawn child necessities. You sit in his study as the baby looks around and points to things. You name them off.

You’re in the middle of walking her over to look at his records and watching her slap things on the shelf, trying to feel them with her fingers, when he gets the idea to name her after one of the human composers he knows (”Marianna.”)

You honestly thought the addition of a literal child would throw Lucifer off but he’s prepared. It’s only then you realize he’s been alive for thousands of years and helped raise the other six people in the house

Enjoy your view of Lucifer wearing a baby sling for the first three days because unless you have a real kid together, this is the only time you’ll see it

The two of you work on a schedule and carve out time to teach the child on top of your other duties. Sometimes you’re hooked up to the sling, sometimes it’s him. He gets a kick out of seeing you tote the kid around and usually catches you tickling her feet.

Diavolo graciously lightens up on Lucifer’s paperwork load (BY A LOT!) in exchange for seeing the child and playing with them

Most of her facial expressions take after Lucifer’s and Diavolo is BEYOND amused

After day 3, Marianna gets distressed seeing Lucifer sit so long, so she’ll toddle you to Lucifer and just points until you do something about it

100% a daddy’s girl and Lucifer has a hard time keeping his pride in check. It’s coming off of him in waves

She says her first words between day 4 and day 5 and Lucifer wants to cry (he does) because the first one is “daddy”

From day 5 on it’s a constant fight to keep her close because the bros want to smother her for being so cute and are bugging her to say their names

Marianna is partial to Satan and Lucifer is secretly glad. Satan acts all smug about it.

She has Lucifer’s insistency for perfection. Mammon was messing with her tea party set up and she bit him for moving her plate in the wrong spot. That was day 6 and she had her pointy baby demon teeth. Marianna got a little whisper scolding that Mammon would’ve died for BECAUSE SHE GETS KISSES WHILE SHE’S GETTING SCOLDED? FOR REAL?! HE GETS STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN!

Marianna hates being fussed over and likes to dress herself. Whatever you or Lucifer fix, she undoes when your back is turned.

One of her favorite hobbies is sitting on Lucifer’s lap and practicing her handwriting. She also likes to brush his feathers. Marianna asks to sleep in them and will try to hide from you in them. The giggles give her away.

By day 7 she has the intelligence of (at least) a 6 year old and has velvety nubs for horns. You learned that demons like to rub their horns against hard surfaces (or loved ones) as scenting and for their growth.

She accidentally scratches you up, not quite understanding you’re human, and goes into an absolute meltdown. She didn’t mean to hurt you.

Goes into a freaking rage when anyone tries to fix you up. Wants to do it herself. This kid is a literal puddle of apologies, please hold her.

She cuddles you for the rest of that day and officially gets her own little desk beside Lucifer on day 8. Marianna pretends to write her own letters but mostly draws. Bugs Lucifer with the random stuff Satan and Levi teaches her but he doesn’t mind.

You’d bring them snacks every now and then and sometimes you’d hear them singing together (ever so quietly). You didn’t know Lucifer could sing. 

Lucifer has woken up with a fist in his face, accidentally been punched in the eye, and has been kicked away at least once since she was big enough to sleep in the bed. She takes after Lucifer in the way that she needs you behind closed doors. Marianna doesn’t sleep unless she can feel both of you next to her. 

Lucifer officially has bragging rights about sleeping with you (even if he won’t pull that). Secretly gets the best sleep of his life. Really starting to feel the parent thing. A kid with you would be nice.

Marianna gets little fluffs for wings on day 9 and they “air box” when she’s angry. She demands back scratches for how dry and itchy the feel and you figure out she purrs like Lucifer.

She doesn’t always prank Lucifer but when she does, she hides his pens and makes him play hide and seek with her to get them back

Marianna likes to help out in the kitchen and loves setting the table. She gets mad if anyone messes with the napkin folds you guys practice. She makes a tiny Lucifer screech when Asmo gets obnoxious with taking pictures for Devilgram and Mammon nearly breaks his chair trying to run out of it. She laughs like you.

Around day 10 she insists on a family day and Lucifer has this sinking feeling in his gut that she knows she won’t be around much longer. Maybe it’s a side effect of the spell. The two of you spend the day running around the Devildom taking lots of pictures. Diavolo crashes a few of those pictures.

She spends day 11 burning the midnight oil with Lucifer. Around 9 PM he’s trying to send her to bed. Marianna just drags a blanket back into his study and snuggles down. He notices all her old pictures and some new ones she’s drawn. “It’s my book,” she tells him.

“Your book?”

“Yep.” she colors in the lines carefully, the finished pages pushed away and much better than her older ones. “It’s for you guys, for when I go away. And for your school.”

On day 12 you bring her back into the class, she’s dressed in similar colors to Lucifer. She wanted to look good for her presentation and she said ‘dad always looks nice’.

Marianna talks through her book, calling back memories of building blocks and playing hide and seek. She’s very proud of the pictures from two days ago. They’re her favorite. She shows off her horns and the “dad roar”.

You and Lucifer walk her to the circle. She stands in it as the spell determines her final age. She’s about 10, pushing the limits for growth as determined by the spell.

“I wasn’t here a long time, but I had fun.” she hands him the book and gives you a much longer hug than Lucifer. You wonder if it’s her way of apologizing for having a favorite even though she was good to both of you. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” she looks up at Lucifer as she hugs him, her chin pressed into his stomach.

“Perhaps.” Lucifer takes on his demon form as the circle starts to glow, flapping one wing at her. She “air boxes” back before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

It’s a quiet, lonely silence. Very cold. There’s a subtle warmth in Lucifer’s embrace as he guides you back to your desk. It was brief, but you see why she likes his hugs.