#this is so low quality but it makes me happy to see that they met at least once :)

[mr-celestial-writings]

General Relationship Headcannons (Bats pt 1)

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Richard "Dick" Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy "Tim" Drake

Summary: How do I think these characters would behave in a relationship. How I think you two would meet, their love languages, their first dates. You know the rest.

Gender Neutral Reader

DC Masterlist!

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Bruce Wayne:

You two met at a Charity Fundraiser. He literally bumped into you. It was instinct to check you out, his analytical eyes scanned you. But it was perfectly hidden with his Playboy Brucie Persona.

He immediately went to charm your socks off. You may not have any vital information, but hey, at least you'd be a good lay.

He was very, very surprised when you turned him down. You sited not being interested in him as the reason.

Well, now he's just offended.

After that Night, Bruce began stalking seeking you out more. He learned everything he could about you. He had a point to prove, alright? He totally didn't find you attractive.

The more he spent time with you, the more he learned about you from you... The more Bruce looked forward to spending time with you.

Bruce found that he fell hard and fast for you. You were just... amazing! You were like a warm blanket on a cold winter's day. You were like the few rays of sunshine that Gotham gets a year...

Bruce eventually dropped the Brucie act around you, and he was surprised when you responded positively to Bruce just... being himself.

Bruce asked you out not too soon after that. He went all out on your first date. Candles, the most expensive food, a band. Bruce did not hold back.

You went along with it, but after words you told Bruce that you were okay with low effort, laid back dates. He felt like a bit of an idiot.

Bruce's Love languages would be Acts of Service and Quality Time. He loves doing things and spending time with you.

Richard "Dick" Grayson:

Haley brought you two together. The Puppy had gotten off her leash, and run straight into you. Dick apologized so much as he collected Haley from your arms.

Dick helped you off the ground, for a 3 legged puppy, Haley had a lot of power. He introduced himself, and offered to get you something to eat an an apology.

You two hit it off right away, though! Dick was funny and charming, and you bounced off of him easily.

What was supposed to be an apology hot dog ended up in a new friend and an exchange of numbers.

Hang outs became daily events. Dick would coo over Haley with you and buy you food. You were really fun to talk to!

Some months later, Dick decided to shoot his shot and ask you out. You were amazing, and just so fun to me around!

Your first Date would be at a cafe. Dick wanted to Impress you, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable with some massive, grand gesture. Who was he, Bruce?

Dick's love languages would be Quality Time and Physical Touch. He loves being around you and touching you. He also gives the best cuddles. It's a win-win.

Jason Todd:

Jason encountered into you at the Iceberg Lounge. He was just doing his usual rounds, making sure everybody was happy, along with scrapping together any information he could.

He noticed that you were uncomfortable, being hit on by a bunch of goons. Something told him he'd regret it, but he swooped in. He gently place his hand on you hip, it was sold you could easily escape if needed. With a few sweet words and nicknames, Jason chased the guy off.

He then properly introduced himself. You two got to talking, and Jason found that he... really liked talking to you.

Your friendship blossomed, and a year later Jason was hit with the fact he had a crush on you. Thank you Roy, for that.

He took his chance, and decided to ask you out. He was super relieved when you said yes.

This dork brought you to a bookstore for the first date. After browsing around he then brought you to a decent restaurant. It was all worth it to see you happy.

Jason's love languages would be Quality time and Words of Affirmation. He doesn't feel like he deserves you, reassure him that he does.

Timothy "Tim" Drake:

220k, strangers to lovers, slow burn, coffee shop AU- Sorry. You are a barista at his favorite cafe. You were the one who usually took and made his coffee.

He once asked you why you worked such unholy hours, since you were always in when he patrolled. You looked him dead in the eyes and said that college wasn't going to pay for itself, and that sleep was for the weak.

That's when he decided to look into you. He wanted to study you and everything about you. You were just amazing.

Bruce stopped that in it's tracks and forced Tim to talk to you like a normal person. No stalking and unhealthy relationships on Bruce's watch.

He was terrified as he talked to you. He led the conversation a best he could. The more he talked to you, the more relaxed he was.

You two got along very well! Tim was surprised about how well you two got along. You two shared a lot of interests. Tim felt... seen.

It took a couple months for Tim to work up the guts to ask you out. He was so excited when you said yes.

He brought you to the Observatory. He knew no villains would attack, and it was quiet. He bought you so much from the gift shop.

Tim's love languages are Gift Giving and Words of Affirmation. He has a lot of trouble with his self worth. Love on him, assure him that he is more than his role as a CEO or Red Robin.

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a/n: I split this up, like, a lot. It was going to be a massive post with all the male characters I write for. Then I was going to do the same thing for the fem characters I write for.

But that was very fucking overwhelming. So I decided to split it up into the factions I write for. So, expect A Few of these types of posts lol.

Also Happy American Thanksgiving!

[eroticlamb]

Elliott Smith and Jeff Buckley, photographed September, 1996 ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ˖ ࣪ Unknown photographer

[pyrrhiccomedy]

This is my cat.

His name is Eddie Potato.

Eddie Potato came home with us from the animal shelter in January (so about 9 months ago, now). He was around five years old, and had been living on the street before he was picked up by the cops and brought to the state run shelter (my boy was arrested for loitering). When we met him, he was sick, mite-infested, and covered in matted fur, scratches, and bites: but he was also very sweet, and very friendly, and he was already fixed, so we knew he must have once had a home with some loving humans.

[Eddie at his first vet appointment, trying to hide behind a paper towel.]

We'll never know what Eddie's first family was like, of course: but within a couple of weeks of adopting him, we were able to make a few guesses. He was happy to be pet, and calm about being picked up: but the only way he had to let us know that he'd like us to stop petting him was to swat our hands away, claws out. He'd then watch us, very closely, a little tense; like he was either expecting to be scolded for scratching, or expecting us to try to touch him again.

This told us that he had an affectionate family, but maybe not one that respected his boundaries. Maybe it was a family with kids, or maybe just a loving but pushy owner.

He's a medium-to-long haired cat, so he needs a bit of grooming to stay hygienic around his, let's say, pants area. I bought some quality clippers and a pet grooming electric razor. The clippers he was completely calm about: he let me trim the mats out of his fur very calmly, even the ones behind his ears.

The razor terrified him. I mean, he knew what it was on sight. He was sitting next to me on the couch when I took it out of the box, and the moment he saw it, his ears went back; he crouched low and fearful; and then jumped down and ran out of the room.

Okay; so his first family groomed him, or took him to a groomer, that was obvious: and it was probably a 'hold him down and get it over with' kind of experience, given how frightened he was.

He was very sweet, and very gentle - except when he wanted you to stop petting him. This was a cat who expected kindness, who believed that the humans around him were his friends: but he'd learned that his friends wouldn't listen to him when he told them to stop unless he drew a little bit of blood.

We just thought: wow, this cat is a really good communicator. He is being, like, so clear.

Eddie Potato is a very stupid boy - uncommonly stupid, even for a cat - so we prepared ourselves for it to take a while for him to learn that things had changed. We paid very close attention to him while we were petting him for the signs leading up to that swat, and we got better and better at stopping before the swat ever came.

I let him get used to the razor very slowly: for the first week, I just set it next to his food bowl at dinner time, about a foot away, so he could see it while he was at his happiest. For the next week, I'd pick up the razor, and move it around while he ate. The week after that, I turned it on for a few seconds, so he could start to get used to the noise. The week after that, it went on for most of his meal time, and I moved it around his body while I pet him: so he could start to associate the razor sound with nice touching.

Then I groomed him. And he was - fine. A little bit antsy, but fine. Happily munching away at his dinner while I neatened up his pantaloons. I usually only had about a minute before he made it clear that he wanted it to stop, but that was okay: I just groomed him for a minute or so for two or three days in a row, until the job was done.

After four months, Eddie Potato wasn't scared of the razor at all anymore.

And it broke my heart a little bit, because his first family had clearly loved him. And Eddie is a cat who needs to be groomed! And it had obviously always been a scary and stressful experience for him. But it didn't have to be! He just needed patience! Surely, if the people he had lived with before had known that he could learn to not be afraid in just a few months, they would have tried.

Teaching him that he didn't need to swat didn't take much longer. It was so clear that this was not a cat who wanted to hurt us. Once we got the hang of stopping before he got tired or stressed out by petting, the swatting went away completely.

What was so sweet was what he learned to do instead: when he was done with being pet, he started placing his big paws on my hand, and gently but firmly pushing it away.

"Oh, okay!" I'd say. "We're done!" and take my hand away. And he'd watch me, for two or three seconds: and then he'd start to purr like crazy, and push under my hand again.

He wanted to be pet. He just wanted to know that he could make it stop if he wanted to!

It's been months now since the last time Eddie swiped at either of us. Sometimes, he likes to play his little push-away game for ten or twenty minutes at a time! He rolls onto his back for a belly rub, and I do for a few minutes; then he pushes my hand away, and watches to make sure I listened; then he rolls onto his back again for more belly rubs. The whole time purring, purring, purring. Eddie loves his belly rubs, and he loves being listened to just as much.

I'm just so proud of him! He's had such a hard and scary year: losing his family, living on the street, ending up in a kill shelter, going to a strange new home with strange new people. And he still extended his friendship and trust to us, and let us show him that he doesn't need to be scared anymore, of razors or hands or thunderstorms or the sound of traffic. He's so dumb and so small and he's had so much happen to him, and now he gets exactly as much petting as he likes, and he isn't afraid to get his pantaloons trimmed.

Like. That's my little guy. I get to make sure he'll be okay from now on.

[renthony]

On Cosplay, Fast Fashion, & Waste

Fast fashion and disposable outfits in cosplay community spaces give me anxiety. Seeing people openly talk about throwing their "trashed" cosplay away after a single con makes me sad. Some costumes are crafted with such low durability that they fall apart beyond repair if you look at them the wrong way. I've met a ton of other cosplayers whose idea of "cosplay repair" ends with a stapler and some hot glue.

I never ever ever ever want to shame people for not knowing something. Crafting is hard. Making a low-quality costume isn't a sin or a crime. If you're new and still learning and don't really know what you're doing yet, that's fine! No harm, no foul, no bruise.

The cosplayers who do make me grouchy, however, are the ones who are unwilling to try. The ones who are flippant about throwing away a cosplay without trying to mend it, repurpose it, reuse it, or pass it along. The ones who intentionally make a costume just durable enough to last a single day, then toss it in the trash with zero thought.

My sewing and costuming experience started when I joined the ren faire, and I had to make my costumes sturdy enough to survive multiple weeks of heavy use, with the durability and freedom of movement to allow sword fighting on the living chessboard. I was taught how to shop for inexpensive fabrics and materials, but use high-quality, long-lasting techniques so that my costumes didn't disintegrate after a single day of performing. I have made extremely durable, cost-effective costumes out of bedsheets and thrift store fabric, as have many of my friends.

That experience has carried over into my cosplay. I am not happy with a costume unless it can go through three consecutive days of stage combat and high-intensity walking around outside in the heat, go through the washer and dryer, and come out completely unscathed.

Again, I never want to needlessly shit on other people's cosplay. Cosplay gatekeeping sucks and is no fun for anyone. At the same time, fast fashion is just as rampant in cosplay as it is everywhere else, and it sucks to see how wasteful it is.

You can make things durable even with cheap materials. Stop making flimsy costumes that you're just going to toss. Stop making piles and piles of waste. Please stop buying fabric just to slap a costume together with glue and throw it in the trash. If you are going to invest time and money into making something by hand, make it durable and comfy and worth the effort.

Even if you only want to personally wear it once, you can sell it, give it away, trade it, do something other than toss it in the trash. Show some love to your costumes, show some love to the planet, pick one action you can take to make your cosplay a little less wasteful. Being obsessed with the myth of a "personal carbon footprint" isn't helpful, but we as cosplayers should try to at least make things that'll last longer than 24 hours.

I understand that sewing can be incredibly intimidating, but basic stitching really isn't that complicated if you have a guide and the right tools. I personally need assistive devices for sewing thanks to my hand tremors and tendonitis, but those tools do exist, and can make things easier for both disabled and newbie sewists. I use rotary cutters instead of scissors, I keep a supply of needle threaders on hand, I have multiple little gadgets that help me sew in a straight line so my shaking hands don't screw everything up. There are tons of tools available, tons of tutorials online, and if you're interested in learning, there's a whole world out there to explore.

If you don't want to do all the crafting yourself, that's totally fine, but if you are going to hand-make your costume, you should try and make it durable. It's better for the planet and it's way less stressful to go to an event when you know your costume won't fall apart on the con floor.

If you have zero idea where to start, here are some books with crafting techniques I've found very useful, both in cosplay and regular household sewing I do for my family:

Make, Sew and Mend: Traditional Techniques to Sustainably Maintain and Refashion Your Clothes, by Bernadette Banner (who also has an incredible YouTube channel)

Cosplay Fabric FX: Painting, Dyeing & Weathering Costumes Like a Pro, by Julianna Franchini

Creative Cosplay: Selecting & Sewing Costumes Way Beyond Basic, by Amanda Haas

Level Up! Creative Cosplay: Costume Design & Creation, SFX Makeup, LED Basics & More, by Amanda Haas

[k0ff1n]

Skully headcanons (both general and relationship stuff)

The parts with the reader are gender neutral, also there is a point that could be considered nsfw I think but it's really just general stuff so nothing much really.

-English isn't my first language so sorry if there are errors and other stuff that simply ain't right and I hope you enjoy :)

+So first of all we know that he isn't from the world that hosts Halloween town, meaning he doesn't dress like that... probably. Personality wise I'd say that he only has energy when he is 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 excited about something, usually a topic that he really likes, but other than that he'd probably be kind of laid back. Like the Kaworu Nagisa type of laid back, he talks and stuff, nods and smiles but doesn't really express emotions in a really... 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵��𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 (this phrase makes sense in my head please bare with me).

+Now I fully believe that he probably dresses in two ways, no in between. We can have the fancy version of him, probably on those days where he feels motivated enough to wear something nice, and those are the only times where he wears some type of goth outfit, then we have the 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 version of him, the one where he's probably wearing a random cardigan with the most hideous Halloween design anyone's ever seen in their entire live. You know those 90s cardigans, the hand knitted ones with the different patterns randomly sprinkled on the base, yeah, those beauties.

+Now let's be sincere, he's probably autistic. He seems to not really understand "standard" social cues, like when he kisses everyone's hand and they are basically disgusted, also when in Halloween town he hugs grim and Epel(?) just because of how excited he is and they are 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 dying inside but he doesn't even seem to notice lol. Now the most noticeable part is also the one where he only talks about Jack and the related festivity, it literally feels like a special interest, the kind that sticks with you for all your life and you can't really get out of your sistem. Also we know that no one really likes him or talks to him in his real world, which is unfortunately the reality of many neurodivergent people, often considered weird or annoying by others. I mean all the neurodivergent people I've met always had similar experiences, me included so yeah, I mean he also basically states that so.

+With this said I imagine him to be the type of person that tries to keep his interests to himself but fails horribly every time someone gets close enough and he thinks he can finally open himself up. Now we all know how that would end (not in a nice way) , meaning that he probably hides himself in the realities from different books and movies he likes. I firmly believe that the reason he was so happy to finally be in Halloween town was because he imagined so many times to live there without the trouble of other negative people that he felt as if he actually belonged somewhere for once.

+Now since this is getting depressing I'd say that if he had a partner he would probably need someone that either shares the same type of interests as him or simply has enough time to listen to him rant about his hyperfixations. I'd say that the first one would probably still be better because he'd feel as if someone finally understands him and gets why he likes certain things so much.

+Probably collects weird and creepy things, could be old stuff he found in a thrift shop or taxidermies he made himself or bought from some shop on Etsy lol. I see him as the type of guy to yes, love Halloween, but only a certain types of decorations, I mean the old/vintage type would be perfect but if you ever try to get him close to a basic plastic pumpkin (like the basket kind for trick or treat) he would probably start talking in an annoyed and frustrated way about how society ruined the original version of the holiday and stuff like that.

+Type of guy to listen to those long ass YouTube videos with the low quality image as thumbnail that last for more than two hours but include old songs that no one ever listened to, probably including the ones that 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘥 those songs.

+If he actually had a partner he would probably be clingy af, not in an annoying way but like a cat that's always around you way. I don't think that in public he would display that much affection, probably afraid of other people seeing him and judging once again, but when in private he would probably be constantly near you or touching you somehow, be it hugging you when watching a scary movie on the couch or if he's helping cooking something and suddenly you feel him speak in you ear, scaring the shit out of you because he somehow doesn't make any noise when walking.

+Has the worst eye bags you've ever seen in your life, the type that even if you put a red base and then the green and concealer or whatever they 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 fade away. They would probably only make him look good considering that be surely (to me at least so sshhh) wears at least a little eyeliner or eyeshadow. I dont think he was dry lips, even if the og image gives that impression I have a feeling that it's like those cracked type of lipsticks that you put on in layers and stuff.

+One again, if you share interests he would probably sing various tunes with you, be it the songs form the nightmare before Christmas or things like confrontation form the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde musical. I can see him dramatically move around his room while singing a certain part and then looking at you like you hung the starts in the sky when you start singing the next part, even if you suck it doesn't matter really.

+I don't think that he's asexual but at the same time I don't think he'd be really interest in sex stuff anyway, like maybe sometime but more like vanilla things, he doesn't even look like he has the energy to keep up any fancy type of performance let's be fr. Would kiss you and whatever, sometimes make out if you have the time and actually feel like doing something like that, but generally I don't think that he would care much about there things.

+Probably has a pet, not sure which one but the possibilities are: a cat, more cats, rats (named Jack and Sally obvs) or some type of ferret. Not really a dog type of person even if he likes Zero. He probably doesn't have the energy to keep up with an animal like that even if he wants to.

[hemmingsleclerc]

Disneyland ┃CL16

summary: where the leclerc family spends a day at disneyland

It was a warm day in Los Angeles and Charles was packing the last of his little daughter's things into her mini-backpack. He had decided to take a break from the busy world of racing to spend quality time with his girlfriend and his energetic 4-year-old daughter, Emma. He had decided to take his girls to Disneyland.

When they entered the huge park, Emma's eyes opened with excitement as she saw the Disney characters, the various games and the other children dressed as their favorite characters. Charles and Y/N exchanged smiles, knowing that this day would be filled with laughter and unforgettable memories.

The first stop was Fantasyland, where they entered classic attractions such as "It's a Small World" and the Mad Hatter's teacups where even though Emma was barely 4 years old, she loved speed and laughingly shouted at her parents to turn the wheel cup faster.

Right there, Emma insisted on dressing up, excusing herself that it was to feel the magic in a better way, so they entered the store where they sold the different costumes and let Emma freely choose what their clothes would be for the rest of the day.

Now, Charles dressed as Prince Charming, Y/N in the beautiful Cinderella dress and Emma dressed as a little Wendy, strolled through Adventureland, where they met pirates and sailed through the mysterious waters of the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction. Charles hugged Emma, while Y/N captured the funny image of them dressed as Disney characters with the pirates.

Emma, now a little ahead of them, was trying to run in the direction of the car ride, eager to ride the cars from one of her favorite movies.

''!Emma Jules don't run so fast!'' Charles shouted trying to reach his little daughter.

As the day progressed, the Leclerc family ran into beloved Disney characters, posed for photos, and enjoyed treats like Mickey-shaped ice cream, among other things. Emma insisted on meeting Peter Pan and Wendy, the characters of her current favorite movie, and Charles and Y/N happily agreed, following her daughter's enthusiasm.

The highlight of their day was a surprise meeting with Mickey Mouse and Minnie themselves. Emma's eyes widened in pure amazement as she hugged the iconic characters. Charles and Y/N exchanged a proud look, grateful for this opportunity to make precious memories for their daughter.

As the sun began to set, the family rushed to see the spectacular fireworks show in the front row. Emma sat on Charles' shoulders, pointing to the sky in wonder as explosions of color lit up the night.

Leaving the park, tired but happy, Charles and Y/N , with their daughter in their arms, headed to their car. The little girl had fallen exhausted after that day.

While Y/N placed Emma in her seat, Charles tried to unbutton the collar of that costume they were still wearing.

''What are you doing Charlie?''

''I've been choking on this costume all day but I didn't want to take it off for Emma. These things are not designed for people with f1 driver necks''

''Let me help you'' his girlfriend laugh

With a little effort they managed to noticeably loosen the collar of the suit and then climbed into their respective seats to reach the comfort of their hotel to rest.

''¿Do you think she had fun?'' charles said in a low voice trying not to wake up his daughter in the back seat.

''I'm sure she had the best time, baby, plus, I got to see you in that cute costume all day. You looked very handsome''

''What can I say? Although you are not far behind, you look beautiful in that dress, did you know that Cinderella is one of my favorite movies?'' he said smiling

''Oh shut up'' Y/N covered her mouth trying to silence her laughter.

They indeed had the best time.

[white-sinner]

Seven brothers and their boyfriends

fifth born Asmodeus and male vampire reader

Smut

💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜 oh my devildom you two would be one of the most envied couples, and how can you deny it? Asmodeus and our dear M/N if with satan it could be said that it was like a fairy tale here it can be said that it is a mixture of porn and sweetness

 when you two met for the first time you realized he was a bit narcissistic but, on the contrary, he was struck by your vampire traits especially by your very sharp teeth and your very brilliant E/C

when you arrived at HOL he didn't invite you, he DRAG you into his room to make you make videos with him, skin care try on clothes now even his live chat asks for you to be present and under his posts his fans they write that they love how your two styles are so different but come together to form a perfect pair

Asmo never misses a chance to flirt with you and of course being the avatar of lust he is sure you will be his and even if you had suitors they would back down knowing they have no chance against Asmo

The brothers are gone now they can't stand hearing Asmo talk 24/7 about how you two would make a perfect match

finally when you two got together EVERYONE breathed a sigh of relief

as for appointments .. we are talking about Asmodeus what can you expect: shopping dates, parties, make overs .. baths with candles, long evenings of sex, flirting, he who sends you photos while you are in class as Simeon would say UNHOLY

Asmo loves how his demon form style matches perfectly with your vampire style

when you two fight? no one can be in the same room while you argue usually you apologize if it's minor even when he's flirting with other demons being that anyway you understand that it's his sin anyway and he can't control it but when things are more serious and you don't apologize Asmo gets worried and comes apologizing crying

during your first month anniversary you brought him some vampire clothes as a gift that he absolutely adores now it was one of his favorite items of clothing

the matching clothes you give him

SMUT

you were looking for bags of blood to buy from akuzon even though you were similar to demons you were not the same

“M/N what are you doing?”

“not now Asmo I'm looking for some blood bags to buy "

“Tck How many times do I have to tell you that you don't need that crappy low quality stuff when you can drink my sweetest blood!”

said that he took the phone from your hands

"HEY!"

“no come on you can drink mine you know I like it don't you want to make your beautiful boyfriend happy?”

"ok where do you want me to bite you?"

"here"

said Asmo pointing at the corner of the neck

"you know that point is very sensitive right?"

"..."

he didn't say anything I just look at you smiling and with shining eyes

after you reached for his neck biting his neck he moaned and when you were done he held your arm with desperate eyes saying he wanted more

your cock was going in and out of him as you kept biting him all over Asmo loved it it was one of his dirty fantasies, after a while you started to go faster making him see Belphie's dream stars and he start moaning and whine louder not giving a damn about the others who were in the other rooms after your eleventh orgasm you washed him gently and placed him on the bed and you two fell asleep

needless to say the other brothers were dead tired in the morning even belphie hadn't been able to sleep

[tmrwsuns]

xikers when you ask to tie a ribbon around their biceps

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ [ot10 x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 5.3k w. curse words fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

ᯓ the moment you even begin to suggest the thought of tying a ribbon around his bicep. minjae has already agreed. his goal in life is making you happy, and (even more importantly) he loves to see how much you adore his body. he puts a lot of  work into it a (maybe solely for that reason), so whenever you make a praising comment towards the results he can’t help but feel a pang of pride go through his chest. he saw in this situation the perfect combination of your happiness and his ego inflating, and he wasn’t going to let that go. once you both agreed he makes it his priority to pick up a ribbon at the craft store the day after, eager to try out the trend you had suggested. when it finally happened, he smiled proudly as he listened to you gush about how his bicep looked flexed only for you. 

“hey jae?” you spoke softly, looking up from your phone. minjae sat on his desk, headphones partly on as he produced new music for the group. his attention immediately went to you, turning on his chair and smiling gently at you with a questioning look. “what do you think about doing this trend?” you asked, showing him your phone where the video replayed, a flexing arm with a ribbon around it being reflected on the screen. “we can do it if you want” he smiled. you had this effect on him ever since he met you where he couldn’t say no to anything you wanted from him, and that was a big factor to his answer. however, the pride he felt for the fact that you wanted him to flex for you was even a little more of an incentive. with a small squeal of emotion, you agreed that you would do it the next day, leaving minjae looking forward to it as he turned around and continued on with his task. once the next day finally arrived, minjae found himself sitting on his bed, arm flexed as you wrapped the pretty pink ribbon on it. you had an unwavering smile as you tied it in a bow looking proudly at your job, cheeks slightly tinted at the sight. “what do you think, baby? do you like it?” minjae asked, a smile evident in his voice. “of course i do, you’re arms are hot” you answered, looking up at him through your lashes. his smile widened at your words and he grew a little closer to you, eyes scanning your face and stopping at your lips. “and all yours, too” he said, voice low as he looked back into your eyes.  “is that so?” you asked as you grew closer, eyeing his lips for a couple seconds in return. “it is” he answered before leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss. you were so down bad.

ᯓlet’s be real, no one could even try to blame you for immediately thinking of junmin when the trend popped out in your for you page. you had a boyfriend with perfect arms and there was absolutely no reason not to take advantage of that. when you told junmin about it, he hesitated at first. don’t get him wrong, of course he liked it when you fawned over his body, specially his toned arms; but the thought of you maybe posting it made him feel a little flustered. of course, you told him he didn’t have to do it, but the slight disappointment in your eyes obliterated any thought of saying no to you any further. you jumped in happiness at his answer, wasting no time to go on.

“you know, i saw this trend in the morning that made me think of you” you commented as you sat around his room, simply spending some quality time together between your busy lives.  junmin arched an eyebrow in curiosity “yeah? what was it?” you smiled and muttered a little “ill show you” before pulling up the video, facing your phone screen towards him with a smile, your eyes focused on his reaction. “will you let me do that to you?” you questioned, and he immediately felt his heart skip a beat and his ears begin to heat up.  “why?” he almost stuttered, causing you to laugh softly. “you have such pretty arms and i want to brag about them” you answered, your lips curling upwards at his response. however, you noticed the slight uncomfortability on his face, which made you immediately speak again “its okay if you don’t want to, though, don’t worry about it” the rapid way you were speaking made junmin smile softly, admiring how you always seeked for him to be comfortable even if that meant him saying no to something you wanted. “ill do it” he interrupted you, making your eyes light up again. “are you really okay with it?” you asked once again, letting out an excited hum as he nodded. you went straight for your backpack without another word, grabbing the ribbon you oh so conveniently had packed and going back to your previous position. you waited until junmin flexed, your eyes focusing on the way his muscles strained and bulged on his toned arm, letting a few seconds pass by before snapping back into thought and moving to tie the fabric around his bicep. once it was done, you stared again, causing junmin (who was looking at your face throughout the entire exchange) to smile softly. his initial embarrassment had banished, now being replaced with a surge of confidence from the way you looked at him. “people are gonna be soooo jealous” you smiled and looked up at his eyes, earning a chuckle to come out of his lips as he shook his head at your antics. “sure, baby, whatever you say” he hummed.

ᯓ the moment you told sumin about your intentions when you appeared holding the pink ribbon in your hands, he groaned like you had just said the most ridiculous thing that had ever come out of your mouth. he was used to your delusional suggestions, and to be completely honest he didn’t mind them even a little bit. but he would never tell you that, of course. you both knew knew he would say yes eventually since he couldn’t say no to you, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make you beg a little before. so that’s exactly what you did, enjoying watching you exaggerate how much you just loved his arms until he agreed, acting all defeated as if he didn’t love the idea.

the universe was definitely trying to tell you something. multiple videos of the ribbon trend had popped on your feed, which you constantly attempted to ignore in order to not create thoughts in your head. yet you understood you just had to when an edit of your own boyfriend appeared just under one of them. the way he flexed his arms on your screen made your brain (and body) tingle with feelings only sumin ever made you feel, so you gave into what the universe clearly wanted. you rummaged through your drawers before heading to your boyfriend's studio, finding him focused on the painting he had been working on for so long. sumin heard you come in and turned around, smiling at your presence and puckering his lips as his way to ask for a greeting kiss. “whats up, babe?” he asked once he got what he wanted, watching how a mischievous smile took place on your face as you held up the ribbon. “let me tie this on your arm? its for a tiktok trend” you asked, smile never faltering as he groaned. “why am i always the victim, were the hello kitty tattoos not enough for you?” he asked as he jokingly glared at you. he knew he would let you do absolutely anything you wanted with him, but that wouldn’t stop him from making you beg. “sumin, pleaseeee. i was watching the trend and then i saw this video of you and you have such pretty arms that they deserved to be shown off by your girlfriend that you love sooo much” you pressed, conjuring your best puppy dog eyes. your boyfriend sighed as he looked at you, turning around to get a rag and clean his hands from all the paint. “you know i can’t say no to you, don’t you?” he smiled, causing you to celebrate and pull out your phone. he proceeded to comply with everything you wanted him to do, watching you with a fond smile as you giggled at his toned arms. “i love you” you said once the video was taken, a smile on your lips as you watched his amused smile. “i love you more” sumin answered, stealing a quick peck from your lips before urging you to show him the video.

ᯓ look, jinsik is a complete sweetheart. he is soft hearted and can get a little shy whenever you show interest in his body majority of the time. still, he knows he’s fine and he loves that. he loves to see you fangirl over him and is completely conscious of how obsessed you are with him and his body, so he was not surprised at all when you told him what you wanted to do. he agreed fast, not having it in him deny because one, he couldn’t bear saying no to you; and two, why would he waste the opportunity to tease you when it was right there? the flush on his cheeks and rapidly beating heart had never stopped him from making you flustered, and they wasn’t going to start now.

“love?” you called out for jinsik’s attention. he was currently sprawled out on the floor of your bedroom, mindlessly scrolling through his phone as you laid on your bed. he let out a hum of acknowledgment as he put his phone down on his chest, his eyes travelling towards where your head peaked from above the mattress. “would you let me tie a ribbon on your bicep?” you asked, causing him to frown in confusion at the strange request.  “i mean, sure, but what for?” he watched as you looked for your phone on the bed, pulling up the video and giving it for him to watch. you looked for his reaction as he watched it, trying to decipher his stoic expression. “pretty please?” you chimed in, giving him a small smile. jinsik smiled automatically as he watched you, weighing his options in his head. he could either say no because of the slight embarrassment he felt at thinking that you would post that for the public to see or he could agree and spend a few minutes of his day with his girlfriend gushing about his arms while she ties pretty ribbons around them. there was a pretty obvious choice this time. “sure, pretty, let’s do it” you smiled triumphantly and leaped off from your mattress, going straight for a drawer where you were sure you could find some ribbon to carry out your assignment. jinsik smiled at the soft “aha!” that left your lips as you found a roll of the material, sitting up from his position on the floor and looking at you expectantly. you took a seat by his side and waited for him to flex his arm, smile widening impossibly much when he did. wordlessly, you tied the ribbon around his bicep before picking up your phone. “so pretty” you mumbled as you recorded and took a couple pictures, entirely too focused to notice the way he was smirking while looking at you, his heart almost beating out of his chest at the way you looked at him.

ᯓ as we all know and love, hyunwoo is a little shit (affectionately.) he loves being smug whenever you express your love/desire for him in any way, shape or form because that’s his way of coping with how much it affects him to have you outwardly gush about him. he ignores the pounding of his heart and the way his ears are heating up and acts out to make you feel like that instead; so when you told him about wanting to do that trend with him he took it as the perfect opportunity to tease the living shit out of you. of course, he agreed, but just because it gave him a perfect excuse to make you flustered. (definitely not because his ego grew about three sizes.)

“hyunwoo” you called out, attempting to grab his attention from the videogame he played on his computer. nothing. “hyunwoo” you spoke a bit louder. nothing. you knew he was doing it on purpose. he always left one of his ears uncovered when he gamed if you were around as his own little way to show you that he was still listening and paying attention to you. you sighed as you noticed why he wasn’t answering “babe?”  “yes, doll” he turned around on his chair, a smug smile on his lips as you rolled your eyes.  “would you do this tiktok trend with me?” you asked as you looked at him, your previously “annoyed” expression erased by the sight of your boyfriend's pretty smile. “depends, which one?” you looked for the video and pointed the screen at him, watching his reaction as the video played. “why would you want to do that?” he questioned, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “you have hot arms” you shrugged, attempting to maintain your cool and not give him what he wanted. hyunwoo raised his eyebrows at your response, taking out his headphones and rolling his chair towards you, now closer to your body. “do i? you’ve never said so before” he teased, making you groan. “never mind, i dont want to do it anymore” you stuck your tongue out to him, causing him to chuckle. “it’s okay, babe, i get it. i would want to show my super hot arms too” he smiled as he jokingly flexed. “we can do it, come on” you smiled amused at his antics, standing up to find the ribbon you carried in your bag for your hair. once you had it you walked back to his chair, waiting for him to flex his arm so you could tie it around him and get the pictures you wanted. “i'm just irresistible, aren’t i?” hyunwoo gloated as he watched you. “and only yours, isn't that crazy?” he loved the way your cheeks tinted as you glared at him, sending his heart on to its own frenzy because he couldn’t even fathom how insanely beautiful his girlfriend was. he wouldn’t tell you that right now, though.

ᯓ junghoon is so incredibly unbothered that you had no idea of what he would answer when you asked him to let you do the trend with him. don’t get me wrong, when it comes to you he is anything but uninterested. you are everything to him and he would do anything you asked him to, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea. that was what scared you, you didn’t want to push him to do anything he didn’t like, so you approached him with a bit of more shyness than he usually would. surprisingly, he was very on board with the idea. he liked the idea of you liking his body enough to think of him when you watched that trend, and he was more than happy to participate in it.

“hoonie?” you called out softly as you looked up from your phone, looking at your boyfriend who laid next to you as he read. he looked up from his book and tilted his head in question, making your heart melt into a puddle because of how much he had resembled a cat just then. “have you ever seen that trend where they tie a ribbon around their partner's bicep?” “i think i have, hyunwoo did it with his girlfriend i think” he nodded, the book he was reading now completely discarded as he gave you his full, undivided attention. “why?” “uhm, i kinda wanted to try it out with you” you explained, struggling a little to maintain the eye contact he so diligently held. “sure, do you have any ribbon?” he asked, agreeing as if it was nothing. you were a little surprised at how quickly he had complied, your heart melting even more than it already had. “i think i do, let me check” you smiled and hopped off the bed, not before leaving a sweet kiss on his cheek that left him smiling softly. junghoon watched you move around your room, rummaging through your drawers until you found the roll of ribbon you knew you had. you approached him with a big smile, waiting for him to sit up and flex his arm for you. once he did, you couldn’t help but giggle like a flustered little girl, watching your handsome boyfriend flexing his arm just for you.  junghoon watched you tie the ribbon around his muscle with a soft smile on his lips, waiting for you to do whatever you wanted to. “you’re adorable, did you know?”  his voice made your eyes travel back to his, light tinting on your cheeks. “yeah?” “yeah” he answered your question before laying back down and opening his arms towards you, his smile never faltering.

ᯓ a little shit (affectionately) pt 2. seeun absolutely adores making you flustered, he lives for it if you will. the capacity he has to make you get shy is outstanding, even when most of the times his insane confidence played into making you annoyed rather than flustered. you have a very playful relationship between you, which consisted in humbling each other most of the time, reserving the praises and affectionate words for special moments.  when you approached seeun with the idea of doing this trend he just knew this was his chance to get you to admit he was the most handsomest man alive (which you had no doubt about, you just liked humbling him.) so he made it his goal to hear those exact words come out of your mouth, even if he achieved it through annoyance.

you had been thinking about asking seeun to do that trend with you for a while now. naturally, when you had seen it for the first time you knew that you had to do it with your boyfriend or it would be a waste of his efforts at the gym. the only issue was that it wasn’t easy to ask seeun to do these kind of things. he had the tendency to tease you about the littlest things and you asking him to do something with his biceps was basically asking to be driven insane. nevertheless, your love for your boyfriends arms was stronger than his annoyance could ever be, so you asked him. “can we do this?” you asked as the video had conveniently popped on your screen. you were laying on the bed, your head resting on his arm as you watched your saved tiktok videos, a little ritual you had started doing when you were bored. “aww, you want to coquettify my muscles?” he cooed, a teasing tone present in his voice as he looked at you with a sly smile. “it sounds gross when you say it like that” you wrinkled your nose at his words. “but i just really wanted to do that trend and i couldn’t think of anyone else to do it with”  “of course you couldn’t, because you’re so incredibly in love with me and my hot body” he pressed further, incorporating his body onto his arms so he could look at you better. the sheer beauty of your face would never seize to amaze him, but that’s a topic for later. “sure, whatever. now, will you do it or not?” you tried to hide your smile, clearly enjoying the lighthearted nature of your banter. “i will if you admit I'm the most handsomest man alive” his words made your eyes roll and a groan escaped your lips. “i should’ve known you would act like this, so annoying” you teased back, acting as if you were to move on and look at your phone again. “don’t be like that, come on, let’s do it” he nudged you, eliciting a smile from your lips. you sat up and kissed his cheek rapidly before grabbing the ribbon you had brought in your bag and sitting in front of him. you waved at him to hurry, smiling about the opportunity. seeun rolled his sleeve and flexed his arm, allowing you to tie the piece of fabric on his bicep. you grabbed your phone to snap a couple of pictures, smile unwavering. “you’re the most handsomest man alive, seeun” you looked back into his eyes, just in time to watch him erupt into a cheer, causing you to laugh loudly.

ᯓ it’s no secret to anyone that yujun melts to putty in your hands. he loves making you happy, and that leads him to be the object of your silly little desires more often than not. he absolutely adores the fact that he is who you think of first when it comes to things like these, so the moment you tell him you want to do it he has already agreed. he is so happy and excited about it that he makes it into a full blown date to go find some ribbon you both liked, leading to a long walk to the craft store full of smiles and silly stories about his day. despite his cutie patootie nature, he can’t deny he is a gym rat through and through. he is proud of his body, he enjoys working towards his good shape and loves to see the results of all of his hard work. so when his pretty pretty girl also allows herself to fawn about his beauty outside of his cute demeanor? he could have a heart attack.

“yujunnie?” you called, earning a hum of acknowledgement from the boy. “have you seen the trend where they tie ribbons on guys' arms?” you asked as you laid next to him on your bed, his arm lazily draped over your middle as he rested his eyes, completely relaxed in your company. “i have, why?” he speaks, opening his eyes to be able to see your face, one of his beautiful smiles immediately taking place on his lips as his eyes found yours. “would you be okay with doing that? you have such pretty arms” you asked, voice relaxed as you caressed the arm around you, the sleeveless shirt he wore allowing you to see the entirety of his toned limb.  yujun couldn’t help but smile as you spoke, finding it adorable how you did little to hide your adoration for his body. “of course, we can walk to the craft store to get some later” he smiled “not right now though, im too comfy” he muttered and brought you back tighter to his chest, eliciting a cute giggle to come out of your pretty lips.  “sure, prince, whenever you want” you smiled and cuddled further onto his chest, relaxing as you took in his scent. hours passed before you finally went to the store, taking the long way there as you walked hand in hand with your boyfriend. your laughs could probably be heard from the other side of town as you listened to his stories about practice; bashing on his teammates bad habits as he quickly skipped past his own, making you roll your eyes in amusement. once you finally got home with a few strands of different color ribbons, you sat back on your bed. yujun flexed his arm for you like you had instructed, watching the way you ogled at them with a sly smile. “see? i told you so much time in the gym would pay off” he teased as you finished tying the ribbon, causing you to roll your eyes. “i never said it didn’t” you answered, grabbing your phone to take pictures as well as to record the video you wanted. “i forget sometimes, though” “what?” yujun couldn’t keep your eyes off of you for a second, too enamored by the sight of your pretty face to even consider looking away. “that you’re ripped, you’re so squishy” you smiled, taking your hands to his cheeks and squishing lightly. he chuckled at your action, taking your hand in his to bring it to his lips and kiss your palm. “i’ll have to remind you more often, then”  “keep going with the sleeveless shirts and I won't forget for a second.” you laughed, stealing a quick peck from his lips. “i knew the plan was working” he muttered all smiley before joining your lips again.

ᯓ let’s be completely real for a second. there was absolutely no way that this trend could exist without you dragging your boyfriend into it. you know it, his members know it, he knows it. in complete honestly, hunter was waiting for you to ask him if you could do that trend for a while now, knowing that you wanted to by the amount of times he had seen one of those videos play on your screen while you mindlessly scrolled. he wasn’t going to bring it up, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t hint at the fact that he would be more than happy to partake in the video if that’s what you wanted. with that said, when you asked him if you could do it, he agreed immediately and with no objections. he tried hard to contain his smile and not show you just how much he had been waiting for you to ask, but he could never keep a secret from you.

you were sitting down on hunter's lap as you laid on the couch, watching tiktok on your phone in hopes to cure the boredom of a rainy day when a video of the trend appeared on your screen. hunter smiled as he waited for you to speak, knowing that you couldn’t see him because of the position you found yourselves in.  “i always wanted to do that with you, you know” you mumbled, letting the video play. “really now?” he mumbled, doing his best to contain the humor in his voice. you shifted on his lap, looking at him with a soft smile. “yeah, can we?” you asked, doing puppy dog eyes like he didn’t immediately say yes to anything you ever asked for. “of course, princess. i think i have ribbon on one of the drawers” he smiled and kissed your forehead. what he didn’t say though, is that he had bought it the first time he had seen you look at the trend, knowing you well enough to know that the question would be asked eventually. you let out a small “yay” before climbing away from him to rummage through his drawers, looking for the ribbon until you found the small pink roll of it. you went back to your prior place one you had cut a long strand of it, waiting for hunter to flex his arm so you could get to work. once it was done you couldn't contain the small squeal at the sight of your boyfriend’s arm with the bow around it. hunter chuckled as he watched you take pictures and the video, enveloping you in his arms again when you were done. “wait… why do you have ribbon just laying around?” you asked curiously after a couple moments of silence. “let’s just say i know you well enough” he chuckled, making you smile and cuddle further into his body. 

ᯓ oh, yechan had been waiting for this one. the truth was that he had seen these videos before you had and he really really wanted to do it. he had even begun exercising his arms more often so he would be in his prime when the moment came. the only issue is that you didn’t seem to want to, because it had been weeks and you had not asked him nor even hinted at wanting to do it. spoiler alert, you whole heartedly did, you were just too shy to bring the idea up to him because you thought he would laugh at your face at the mere mention of it. so imagine your surprise when he was the one to bring it up, more as a whine than an actual proposal to do a simple little tiktok trend.

yechan had noticed that the trend had been spreading like the plague throughout the group. the way all the boys were flexing (see what i did there) about the videos their respective girlfriends had posted was driving him a little insane at this point, because he hadn’t been asked yet. he knew it was not an issue with his body, of course. he had worked his ass off to get to where he was today, and he deserved to have a pretty, girlie little ribbon tied to his bicep too, but it seemed like you didn’t think so; and he had had enough. you were sitting on your respective chairs in front of his monitor (yes, he got you a chair too), playing videogames as you normally did when you were bored. you were seconds away from winning when the screen froze, indicating that yechan had paused it and eliciting a whine from your lips. you turned to face him, about to complain about him being an absolute baby before being interrupted by him voicing his own complaints. “i think i have great arms, you know?” he spoke, causing you to frown in confusion.  “what?” you questioned, moving his chair as well so he could face you completely. “i have great arms, i work out a lot” he pressed, his eyebrows creased with what seemed like annoyance. “i know you do, babe” you answered, watching his face full of frustration, so very confused. “then why haven’t you asked me to do that stupid trend?” he asked, and then it clicked on your head. “the ribbon one?” you asked, your confusion slowly morphing into a slight smile. “yes! i’ve been waiting for you to ask and you haven’t and i don’t get why” he frowned, and you almost cooed at how incredibly adorable he looked. you stood up wordlessly, going towards your bag as yechan looked at you intently. were you really walking away from him right now?  his concerns dissipated as you sat back down, a long piece of ribbon in your hands. “i’ve been meaning to ask you, but i was too embarrassed” you explained, your smile a little shy, “i thought you thought it was dumb, by the way you talked about the other videos” yechan’s facial features relaxed immediately, overtaken by sheer softness. “i would never think anything you want to do is dumb, baby” he smiled, grabbing your face as he caressed your cheeks. “cute, will you let me do it now?” you smiled and kissed the palm of his hand before moving away, waiting for him to get into position. he rolled up his sleeve and flexed his arm, causing your smile to widen as you began tying the ribbon around his toned arms. when you were taking the pictures, inwardly giggling because of how good he looked, you realized something. “have you been working out more?” yechan’s face tinted a light red at your question, but he nodded sheepishly nonetheless. “maybe.. i wanted to look good on the video”  his words made you laugh, shaking your head as you moved forward to cradle his face, peppering kisses all over it “how cute.”

★ blue's corner ;; i took so incredibly long to write this its not even funny. anyways this is for my two pookies ILY. ★ taglist ;; @tiramisumin @astrasng ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!!

© tmrwsuns, 2024

[jackiepackiee]

Not your Typical Confession

Chuuya x Reader

Gonna edit in the morning

Chuuya Nakahara was an enigma to all of those lucky enough to have met him and live to tell the tale.

Stronger than stone, a certain kind of elegance akin to nature itself. Brilliant as blossoms off the trees of spring. Loyalty bleeding throughout every vein. Onto vines of care and protection he let grow to only his closest companions.

One of which was you.

So when you see him kick back his motorcycle stand before walking towards the entrance of the port mafia, you feel intrigued.

A tug on your heart that seems to physically pull you in his direction.

Mouth moving faster than your feet.

“Wait up!”

“Hm?”

He hummed in his usual late night tired tone.

Stars barely visible from the city lights blowing the scenery up in a warm glow.

Rain just having calmed moments before, when he turned you could see the contact his boot made with a little puddle.

Dreary was the night.

And dreary were his eyes.

“Hi! Just me.”

God, was your bright tone infectious.

“I noticed that.”

Something was off. A lack of sarcasm that his words always held. Mean in textbook, but humorous in tone.

This was cold.

“…no need for attitude.”

Suddenly that stupid little puddle was really catching your eye.

“Yeah, well no need to be a nuisance. And we still stand.”

Did his voice always have such a desolate tone? Maybe with his enemies on harder missions, or when Dazai said something that seriously made him upset.

“…”

“I need a drink, so read the room and scram.”

Oh wow, maybe his tone is just this cold. And maybe he did need that drink.

“I- well… umm.”

“Spit it out. You can’t seriously ha-”

Fuck his tone, and fuck that stupid puddle.

“I’m only ever nice to you, but tonight you’re so mean!”

One drop of water falls from a leaf, then two, then…

“I’m always mean.”

“Not to me.”

Drop three.

“Well I’m not always nice. So the point you’re making is? You can’t make me happy, so give up.”

“…what happened?”

You could feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. It was faster than normal, as if you were in some high intensity fight.

“Just work. So forget about it.”

His eyes rolled back, the kind of thing a child would do when they didn’t get what they wanted.

“…no.”

“What? I said for-“

“No! You’re being a total dick to me as of late and for that I think I deserve to at least know why.”

Rarely did you stand up to your friends. Stranger or enemies, sure? But this was out of imagination for your actions.

Had the world stopped spinning? Maybe it had, because time definitely stopped for the both of you.

Air was even still. Not daring to bother your outburst.

“It’s not fair, I hate it. I hate this, I hate us! When we are “friends” one day but the next you act as if you want me gone.”

Not a single part of him reacted. On the outside, at least. Every stab wound he’d ever obtained could not have been this painful combined.

To see you break.

“Maybe I do care too much. Maybe I do overthink your every little action, but there isn’t anything else good for me to focus on.”

His voice had changed, for a quality you could notice. To something soft. One he always used after a tough mission of yours while comforting you. Soothing you with gentle words and petting your hair.

But something new was there. A sense of desperation.

“Am I all you have here?”

“…”

Never had silence felt so haunting. Slowly carving the scene into a sculpture of perfect stillness.

“I have these beautiful thoughts, and a world that fascinates me. Societies I can look in on and be a part of. Ideas that I may only ever understand in the moment, and actions that I make knowing I’ll regret them even after I die. But people? You’re the only human I can actually trust.”

…

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Fuck, I didn’t mean to swear, wait. Shit- wait! Damnit…”

His hat tipped low so you couldn’t see his eyes.

“…huh?”

“I hate to swear around you.”

His arms crossed over his black suit. Red shirt still visible from underneath his arms and jacket.

“That’s not my confusion.”

“I know. Just… I can’t bring myself to stomach the idea that I’ve been neglecting you.”

He spoke with a hesitation on the words of confession.

“Neglect is a bit much.”

“Not when you’re the only thought I like to have on my mind.”

Brown/blue eyes flickered up to you. He fiddled with the cuffs on his suit sleeves.

“I think too much, but for so many thoughts you’re the only positive one. And I’m sorry for neglecting you.”

“Chuuya…”

“I don’t have anyone else either.”

He was vulnerable. Never had he ever willingly showed that side of himself to a single person he’d ever known. He’d cried, he’d screamed, but never once had he put down his strength and displayed his feelings in such a way.

Ready for whatever punishment you could cause. Taking those now exposed feelings and plucking each heart string until they all wore down. Snapping at a delicate touch.

And this was his reality. That he hated caring for you.

And yet he’d die before he’d stop caring.

Only now was he aware of all this.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why now? Why now have you been getting further away from me?”

“Because I can’t admit to myself that I need you.”

There it was, the hideous truth. A truth that he only just now came to terms with.

“I need you, because I love you. Well, at least I think I do? You make the world so bright. Every morning is worth while, and work is worth the fight. I have to stay healthy so I can protect you. See that smile every day. And when- when you call me human. It’s all there. All I need, you.”

If Chuuya wasn’t human, then what could explain this intense urge to pull you close and tell you all that’s good within you? What he loved.

So he did just that. Pulled you into a close hug, down into his red work shirt that smells of cologne.

“I love you too, Chuu. More than I ever realized.”

Maybe this wasn’t the perfect confession, but perfect isn’t irrelevant when you’re in his arms.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕀𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕠𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hope requests aren't closed. Could I request Gepard, Argenti, Dan Heng, and Jing Yuan with a s/o who is an excellent inventor? Toys, machines, they can make anything.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ They weren't when you requested so you're good! Also, I don't write for Argenti so hope you don't mind me changing him for Serval! She just suits here so well and I need more of the girlies so you can say I kinda took the opportunity there~ Anyway, hope it's still up to your liking!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Dan Heng probably knows both a lot and a little about subject of inventing

✧ he read about it and even saw few constructions due to adventuring from planet to planet, but he also never really did it himself

✧ you'll have to introduce him to all the shortcuts while inventing something because he knows just the long and boring way, like instructions said, he'll do the exact steps

✧ he doesn't really mind and find it actually quite interesting to help you around

✧ but if your workshop is loud... he may not be big fan... and if you're trabilazer like him and all the noise is coming from the next room? Yeah, he'd loose it...

"Y/N. How about we go grab some sweets and you finish your work later? I need a break..."

✧ don't get him wrong, he's happy you're working on your skills but he just doesn't like the noise and would much prefer go on a walk while you work

✧ but at least he helps you with cleaning and quieter parts of inventing!

✧ tho if you live on planet and he rarely visits you we it is... he may not mind the noise as much. He's simply more focused on spending some quality time with you than that

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane @toyaswif3y - come get your quiet but scary trabilazer!

✧ Gepard is honestly happy for your achievements and you probably met each other through Serval

✧ but... let no one ask him who's better inventor... he's not gonna be able to choose between you and his sister so he'll end up with basic answer, simply saying you're both great which he's not lying about

✧ but if we can avoid that, he knows quite a bit about it so he'll often drop by and see how you're doing

✧ and if you need help, he wouldn't mind doing so we long as he's not busy

✧ if he won't know something... he can always ask you or Serval if you'll need some professional advice too!

✧ this boy is so busy and now he also has 2 inventors to help... he often leaves you or Serval mid day to go to another one, so he won't seem like he's playing favorites because he loves you both equally, just in different ways

"Hey love, I'll go see how Serval's doing, okey? I'll come back later so I can help you more since I know you're busy. I'll be back in 1 of 2 hours."

✧ but... Serval often kicks him out to help his partner, she's like tou cupid if you think about it...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Serval is too!! You guys either met through work and bonded OR became close and just later realized you're both inventors

✧ when you were far enough into relationship, she definitely wanted to combine your two workshops so instead of "competing against each other", you could work together

✧ and lemme tell you... if you do it, your business is going CRAZY since you're both one of the best inventors in Belebog

✧ if you ever struggle with idea, fixing or making something, she's the one you should go for!

✧ she knows you're a bit better than her and will often mention it, not because she had low self-esteem but because she's proud girlfriend and wants to compliment you

"Hehe~ C'mon, you're the best at it! You need to teach me your trick someday, alright? In exchange... I could take you on a date next week! I'll clear my schedule so we can spend entire day with each other."

✧ expect her to be a little flirty from time to time when you work, sneaking little notes between not important machines so you'll wonder why it's not working just to find love letter there, or send some flying little robot with hear or chocolates on it... many can happen when she's in the playful mood!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Jing Yuan most likely knows every citizen of Xianzhou Luofu, some worse some better... so he definitely knew you even before you got into relationship

✧ but your relationship either developed by him hiring you one day or him getting w little crush and visiting you often

✧ and when you're together, he'll often drop by to see how you're doing and he'll you around

✧ and when he can't come check up on you because of his work... he'll simply send someone to you! It can be either Cloud Knight on patrol or Yanqing passing by

✧ he loves seeing how much you can do with just the idea and materials. So he'll sometimes sit down next to you and watch you work

✧ his favorite thing is to see the project developed all the way from simple scratch to finished product

✧ he'll also remind you of breaks, taking you out for something sweet or to restaurant whenever you finish project you've been working for days

"It looks great, my dear. Now let's go eat something. My treat. Trust me, you deserve it for all the good work you did there."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane - come get your soft general~

[wrenreid]

Hands-on Learning

synopsis: Spencer Reid’s best friend pays him a visit in DC. She meets his coworkers and they spend quality time together while she’s in town. But their friendly dynamic changes with he asks her a question she was not expecting. (season 2 glasses reid)

word count: 4k

content: 18+ MDNI, oral (f receive), penetration

Spencer has been begging me to come visit him again since the last time I was in D.C. six months ago. And I won't admit it to him, but I've been dying to see him again so much it physically pains me. Going six months without seeing your best friend is the worst feeling in the world, but I'd take the emotional turmoil any day because it's for him.

And I suppose he's worth sitting on this plane, lodged between a sleeping old woman and a man who has gotten up to pee ten times since take off. I must really love him because I'm only an hour into this five hour flight.

Spencer and I met when we were 18. I'd just started my freshman year at CalTech and was in an advanced class with a bunch of 22 year olds. My eye caught his immediately. He was the only person my age in the lecture hall.

I sat next to him and told him my name. I knew I had to make him my friend because he was the only other freshman in the class.

Or so I thought. I didn't know until a month into our friendship that he was indeed not a freshman, and he was taking the class for fun while he worked on his second PhD. A small part of me hated him that instant, but I had already fallen into the Spencer Reid charm. I couldn't get rid of him, no matter how hard I tried (which was not very hard at all.)

We became close pretty fast. Almost every moment we weren't in separate classes, we were together. I was pretty much his only friend and he was the first person I met in uni, and probably the only one to accept me a hundred percent as I was. Being so far from home was hard, and he made it worth it.

Usually we'd do homework or watch scary movies in his single dorm room, which I totally took advantage of. I'd spend the night with him instead of my over-sharing roommate who thought I needed to know every detail about her and her long relationship with her boyfriend Kyle, specifically the phone sex. TMI.

My other friends would joke about how we were in love, but the truth is, we weren't. Not in that way at least. He was my best friend, and I was his. We were there for every big moment in each other's lives.

Well, not every big moment. Spencer was not invited when I finally lost my virginity during spring break of freshman year. But he was there when the guy I'd hooked up with broke my heart. And he bought me ice cream and told me stupid facts until my lips broke into a smile.

I was there when he got his second and third PhDs far quicker than any graduate student should. And he was there when I graduated with my masters in psychology and cognitive science.

"You're a nerd too," Spencer said, his voice teasing as he bumped my shoulder. "You can admit it now that we're done with this place."

I told him to shut up, but a wide grin was plastered on my face. We'd made it through the highs and lows of college together.

However, that grin was soon replaced with tears. Spencer had gotten a job offer with the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia. He was going to the academy, and I was starting my research job. He was going to the east coast, and I was staying in California.

"You're leaving me," I said through tears, knowing me guilt tripping him was wrong. But I needed him to stay.

"I'm leaving California, not you," he said, his eyebrows knit together with worry. I could tell it was eating up at him, but I couldn't stop hating the situation. Losing my best friend was the absolute last thing I wanted.

The day he left, I drove him to the Las Vegas airport after he said goodbye to his mom. I didn't help him get his bags, instead I stood there moping. As I watched my best friend walk away, I realized I needed to be happy for him. He was excited about this opportunity, and my bitchiness was ruining that for him.

It wasn't romantic movie-esk the way I ran after him. It was more of an anxiety filled scene where snot ran down my face as I chased him down. Honestly, I probably looked like a stalker.

"Spencer," I breathed out, looking up at him.

He smiled softly. "I knew you wouldn't let me leave without giving me a proper goodbye," he teased.

I shouldn't have taught him teasing and sarcasm. It's bitten me in the ass so many times.

I wrapped my arms around him, ignoring his comment. My face pressed against his chest as his arms held me close. My eyes were closed and I steadied my breathing. Even though he was going what seemed like a million miles away, he'd always be my best friend.

And that's stayed true even three years later. We've kicked this long distance shit in the ass. Of course, we don't talk as much as we'd like, but we still talk. And whenever he can, he visits me in LA after seeing his mom, or I take a visit to the nation's capital just to see my favorite FBI agent.

——

"Every time I see you, you look different," I say with a chuckle as Spencer helps me get my bags into his guest room.

"Is that a bad thing?" He questions, eyebrows furrowed.

"Take it as you will," I say, plopping down on his couch.

He joins me shortly after. He really does look different. He's gained some weight, changed his style up just a little, his hair is parted at the side almost neatly, and he's finally wearing glasses again. Except these ones are far different from the ones he wore in college. These ones are kind of hot, but I won't tell him that because I can't feed the genius's ego any more.

"So," I say, wiggling my eyebrows. "Tell me about your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," Spencer says, his cheeks already turning pink.

I roll my eyes. "Tomato, tomahto."

"Y/n," he warns.

"Fine, fine. Topic for another time. Don't forget, I'm here all week, Dr. Reid," I flash him a grin.

He sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes.

"You know you've missed me," I say, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He shakes his head, but a small smile creeps up onto his lips. He's missed me. But rather than admitting that he asks, "What would you like to do tonight?"

"Food. What's the best restaurant in the city?"

"The best or my favorite?" He asks. "Because they're different."

"Your favorite," I request, a soft smile on my face.

Spencer nods. "Alright. I'll let you nap off the plane drowsiness, then we'll have dinner."

The smile on my face grows wider. He knows me so well.

After my way-longer-than-I-intended nap, we get ready for dinner. I don't dress up fancy because Spencer has seen me at my worst, drunk, crying, and throwing up.

That was the one time I've ever seen him drink. I drug him to a party that we both ended up hating. We left early and instead bought our own liquor. He'd just turned 21, and I used that to my advantage.

Spencer and I ended up drunk in his dorm room. Surprisingly, he handled his alcohol much better than I did. I got wasted and threw up in his sink before making it to his toilet to repeat the action. He held my hair back as tears streamed down my face from the burning in my throat. Then, he threw up from the sight of me vomiting. It was not our finest moment.

"Ready to go?" Spencer asks, coming into the restroom where I'm touching up my makeup.

"Sure am, doc."

The dinner is amazing. He catches me up on all things BAU cases before asking me how my promotion has been, which is, in simple words, pretty damn great.

——

"Oh you're not Spencer," says a way too handsome black man as I open the apartment door.

"Nope. I'd like to think I'm prettier," I joke.

"Yes, you are," he flashes me a smile.

The footsteps behind me halt. "Don't even think about it, Morgan," Spencer says, a warning tone present in his voice.

The man in front of me holds his hands up in defense, the charming smile still on his face.

"This is Morgan? You did not describe him this hot," I turn to my best friend.

He glares at me. "You also don't even think about it."

I laugh softly and offer my hand out to Derek.

"Y/n. Nice to finally meet you."

His firm grip shakes my hand. "So you're the competition I have as Reid's best friend."

"In the flesh," I grin. "And it's no competition. I've got years on you."

"Ooh she's bold. I like her," he says.

I haven't had the opportunity to meet all of Spencer's coworkers because of both of our busy schedules and us making sure to spend every second together while I visit. I've met his boss one time and friend JJ. I liked them. I know enough about everyone from Spencer's stories to know that he's in good hands.

"Did you need something?" Spencer asks his friend.

"Oh right. Yeah I was just going to see if you wanted to come out with us, but I see you are occupied," Morgan says, looking to me.

"Go out where?" I ask, not letting Spencer respond.

"Bar. To drink and play games."

"That sounds fun! We'll be there," I say.

Spencer fake coughs behind me, and I turn to my best friend. He gives me a look.

"C'mon, Spence. It'll be fun. I want to get to know your team."

He can't say no to me. "Fine. But let's not stay out too long, okay? You know you can't handle your alcohol."

"Hey, I've grown up since college," I chuckle.

——

“Have you two ever...?" Spencer's gorgeous dark haired friend asks me as she takes a swig from her glass. She cuts her eyes to Spencer, then back to me.

He's currently at the bar with Morgan who's attempting to flirt with the pretty bartender.

"What? No! God no," I laugh, shaking my head.

"Hm," Emily hums. "I just thought I sensed something."

"Nope. He's my best friend. Why mess with that?" I smile softly.

"So you've thought about it?" She's nosy. I can't blame her, I am too.

"No," I answer.

That's the first lie I've told to Spencer's friends. Of course I've thought about it. I don't think anyone has been friends with an attractive person without thinking about what would happen if the relationship dynamic changed. My best friend's kind of hot. I know that. Before we were close, I debated on asking him out. But we're just friends. We're best friends. And nothing is going to change that.

I get to know Spencer's friends a little more, get slightly tipsy, and start a game of darts with Morgan.

After he beats me, not by much I'd like to add, we're just about to start a rematch, but a hand touches my back lightly. I turn around to face Spencer, and a soft smile creeps up onto my lips.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Can we head back? It's getting late," he asks, checking his watch.

I nod, brushing my hair behind my face. "Sure, but tell Morgan I totally could've beaten him in a rematch."

Spencer laughs softly. "She could've," he says to Derek behind me who rolls his dark brown eyes.

"Getting old, doc?" I ask Spencer as we walk to his car. He's 99% sober, so he drives us back to his apartment.

I sit in the passenger's seat, hands folded in my lap. My eyes are on him.

"Hm?"

"Why'd we leave so early?"

"10:30 is when the guys in the bar start getting drunker and handsy. I didn't want you to get dragged into some asshole's grasp while dancing," he explains.

"Oh," I nod. "I can handle myself, you know that right? Just because you're a big federal agent now doesn't mean I need you to protect me." My voice is thorough, but a small smile is on my lips anyway.

"Just returning the favor, Y/n," Spencer says. He knows I protected him all throughout our shared college days.

My cute going-out clothes have begun to get uncomfortable. I unclasp my bra, keeping my somewhat sexy shirt on and slip it off from underneath the blouse, letting it fall to Spencer's floorboard.

"Much better," I breathe out an exasperated sigh.

He's silent in his seat, eyes on the road. I see his hands grip the steering wheel a little harder.

"I missed you a lot," I say honestly. Usually I'm not one to say what I'm feeling or be mushy gushy, but the two shots of tequila have opened me up.

His eyes flick to me, his lips formed in a soft smile. His face is being lit up by the passing cars' headlights. I can see how sharp his cheekbones are, his jawline.  "I thought you were heartless."

"I take back my previous statement."

"I missed you too," Spencer says.

"Of course you did, I'm a delight," I gloat.

The sound of his soft laughter fills the air. It pulls on the strings in my chest.

"How is it possible that I leave in three days already?"

"Shh," he shakes his head, eyes still on the road ahead of him. "Don't mention that right now." Spencer's hand pats my knee before squeezing it comfortingly.

——

"I have a question," Spencer says, coming into his room where I'm currently laying on his bed, reading a book I grabbed off one of his many shelves.

I look up from the page I'm on. He looks nervous, cheeks red, his hands fiddling with themselves.

"Hit me," I say.

He sits down at the edge of the bed. "I don't really know how to ask this... It's a weird question. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and..."

"Spit it out, Spencer,” I eye him.

"Could you... would you tell me how to please someone. Specifically a woman. During sex."

A huffed laugh releases from me, and his cheeks burn redder. I think I'm blushing too. "What?"

"I'm sorry. That was weird. Forget I said-" he starts softly.

"Have you never...?"

Spencer shakes his head.

I didn't really think he had, but I didn't ever expect him to tell me when or if he lost his virginity anyway. He's reserved, even with me with some things.

"Wait," I sit up straighter. "Is this about your girlfriend?"

"Not my girlfriend," Spencer corrects me. "But yeah. We have a date the night you leave, and I think she's going to expect it. I mean, this is our fourth date."

"Well, if you don't want to have sex, don't have sex," I say sternly.

"It's not that I don't. It's just that I've never done it. I don't know what to do. I've read, and I'm good at anatomy. But what if I'm bad at the physicality of it all?" He presses his lips together, his teeth gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip.

"I don't really know how to explain it," I chuckle nervously. The blood is rushed to my cheeks, they're probably scarlet. "It just kind of happens."

"I shouldn't have asked," Spencer says.

"No, it's just that... like with anything, practice helps people get good sex," I tell him.

He looks up at me, his eyes asking what his lips won't. I feel my heart pounding against my chest, faster than usual.

"Do you want me to... show you?" I ask. He has always preferred hands-on learning.

"Would you?"

I nod slowly, hesitantly.

He moves toward me slowly, hesitantly.

"Kiss me," I tell him, hoping this won't get too weird.

Spencer and I have been best friends for years, we're extremely close, but this may bring us too close. This could ruin everything, but for some reason, I can't stop it.

He presses his lips to mine gently, his hand cupping my face. My eyes flutter closed. I reciprocate the kiss, and it's a lot easier than I imagined. Not that I've entirely imagined it.

My hands trail up his arms slowly. He's gained muscle. I guess that's a part of his FBI agent glow up. His tongue roams my mouth, and I'm pleasantly surprised by how good of a kisser he is.

He pulls away after a few minutes. He's breathing heavy. "Are you sure this is okay?"

I nod, then lean in to kiss him again but he leans back.

"Say it."

"It's okay, Spencer," I tell him. This time he lets me kiss him again.

I lay down, my back against his bed. He hovers above me, his hand on my waist now as he kisses me. He's good at this, and that thought comes to my mind again as his lips suck on my neck.

"Keep doing that," I whine softly.

He obliges and nibbles my skin gently. "Is this okay?" He whispers.

"Mhm," I noise.

I let him take the lead for now, do what he's comfortable with so far. His hand trails up a little further. I tell him he can touch me, and he does, though hesitantly at first. His fingertips graze against my breast before he finally gets comfortable enough to take hold of it through my shirt. He squeezes then pinches my nipple. He knows more than he lead on.

A soft moan releases from my mouth, my back arches just a little. His hand slips beneath my shirt, his warm touch on my belly. Spencer takes ahold of my shirt then lifts it up. I help him take it off me. I'm completely bare hips and above since I wasn't wearing a bra anyway. His eyes widen a little, and he smiles softly.

"Stop staring at me," I laugh a little.

"We're about to have sex and I can't look at you?"

I roll my eyes. "Let's just continue."

Spencer nods. "What do you want me to do?”

"Well, most women like to do other stuff before actually getting into the sex. Penetration alone doesn't do it for most of us," I tell him.

"You included?"

"Me included."

"What do you like?" He asks.

"What are you comfortable with? Do you have any ideas?"

Spencer thinks for a moment. "I want to learn how to-I want to give you... oral."

I burst into a laugh. "Spence, never say oral to a woman. Just say head."

"Head. Noted," he nods.

He's adorable when he's nervous and nerdy. Which is pretty much always.

"Kiss me first. Anywhere," I tell him.

He chooses the soft flesh of my stomach. I smile down at him. I reach down, pushing down my shorts, my underwear too. I'm growing needy.

Spencer slips them the rest of the way down and tosses them down to the ground. After slipping off his glasses, he kisses the inside of my thigh. God, I need him to do something right now.

His big hands push my thighs apart. Then he pauses. The clocks in his brain turn.

I feel like he's just about to call this whole thing off, but then I'm hit with a shock of pleasure. His tongue licks in between my folds.

“You’re really wet,” he says, more like an observation that a tease. Then he attacks my clit with his lips after taking a second to find it. Fuck. He definitely knows more about sex than I was led to believe.

Spencer's fingers leave marks on the inside of my thighs as he grips onto them. His lips suck on my clit, tongue flicking back and forth often too.

Soft moans spill from my lips. I'm trying to be quiet. I shouldn't be enjoying this as much as I am.

The sudden shock of Spencer's mouth removing from my clit makes me whine in protest, but his fingers sliding inside me make up for it.

I groan, my head leaning back into the pillows.

“Do you like this?”

I bite my lip, “Mhm. Curl your fingers.”

He does as he’s told.

When Spencer both fingers my cunt and sucks on my clit, I'm a moaning mess. "Holy fuck, Spencer," I whine. My legs are shaking within minutes, and even though he's still sloppy and new at this, my body loves it. My hands grip into his hair.

"Just like that, Spencer. So good."

A loud moan rings out from me as I finish. I couldn't even warn Spencer before my release pours from me.

My breaths are heavy and loud. Spencer pulls away, looking up at my eyes.

"Was that okay?" His breathing is heavy too.

"No," I say. "Spencer that was fucking amazing. You've seriously never done that before?"

He shakes his head.

"Wow."

"Told you, I'm good at anatomy," he smiles bashfully.

"Take your pants off," I command. "I want you inside of me."

I find a condom in my purse as he shrugs his clothes off. I sit up and find myself staring at his bulge with wide eyes. He's bigger than I expected. Not like huge to where it's unnatural, but big enough that I will probably need a minute to adjust once he's in me.

I tell him to lay down, and he does. He's a good boy. I like it.

I help him get the condom on, then swing a leg over his lap so that I'm straddling him. "Are you ready?" I ask him, my hand holding his face gently.

He takes a second, processing that he’s about to lose his virginity. Probably freaking out a lottle that it’s to me. “Yes ma'am," Spencer nods.

"Just a gentlemen," I grin.

I lower myself onto him, and once he's inside me, I do need a minute to adjust. Moans come from both of us, and I love the sounds we make together.

"Fuck," he groans, his voice raspy. He repeats my name over and over as I start to roll my hips.

"Oh my god." My eyes shut, and I bite my lip to keep me quiet.

"Don't do that," Spencer tells me. "I want to hear it."

I give him what he wants. I bounce up and down on him, his length hitting me in the right spot every time.

Both of our sounds fill the room. Spencer holds my hips down, stopping me.

"Wha-?"

"I want to do it," he says softly. "Please."

"Do what you want with me, doctor," I tell him, nodding.

He flips our positions, and he's on top of me. Spencer's lips crash into mine as he enters me again.

I bite his lip, causing both of us to moan into each other's mouths.

Spencer doesn't last much longer since it's his first time, but I don't even mind. He rubs my clit until I come again, and I feel I'm floating.

We lay on his bed, heavy breaths morphing together. "I think you're going to blow her mind, doctor Reid," I chuckle softly.

"Who's?"

"You're girlfriend that's not your girlfriend," I say, eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, right. I don't think I'm going on that date. Okay, actually I canceled that date when you got here."

"What?" I chuckle, confused.

"There's no date,” he says, point blank.

"Did you just trick me into sleeping with you?" My eyebrows are still furrowed, but I'm smiling.

He presses his lips together. "Well, if you put it that way... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, no. I admire the hustle, doc," I laugh softly, my fingertips circling on his bare chest.

Men and women can be purely platonic friends, no romantic feelings involved. But maybe Spencer and I aren’t that type of friends after all.

tags: @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @kylakins88 @jazzerbelle14 @cynbx @yazzyu @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @sebs-oxygen @jolotta @booktvmoviefangirl @nevielei @pauline5525mgg @necromaniackat @r3idsp3ncer

[thaliagracesgf]

i hail a cab with a goat, and make some questionable decisions at a party

next

author’s note: i want to make it, like, really, really, clear that this is not a fic glorifying sa or being a victim. what the reader goes through here is a horrible experience, one that’s happened to me and countless other women (and other people!!). this fic is for anyone who, in the words of rachel sennot in bottoms, has been “gray-area-d,” and felt completely lost afterwards, not knowing how to feel or what to think. this is one example of how you deserved to have been treated, and i’m sorry if this or something similar wasn’t your experience. 

content warnings: sexual assault (not graphic and not by luke! r is sort of tied down and has their shorts undone), violence (luke is not happy about this situation), alcohol (r is drunk), talking about it afterwards?, talking about monsters (on a regular pjo level), swearing. 

word count: 6.6k. i had a lot to say. so sorry.

this is the first fic i have written in a while, i hope you enjoy it!

⭑

seven a.m. in the camp half-blood dining pavilion saw the same faces every morning. you, silena beauregard, clarisse larue, and annabeth chase. your little group of friends spanned six years, at seventeen, fourteen, thirteen, and eleven, and your best friend, who had been off at college all year, made it eight. 

you didn’t remember becoming friends with silena and clarisse, although you figured hannah, your best friend and silena’s older half-sister, must have introduced you, and clarisse came along with her. 

you had met annabeth and hannah when you were just thirteen, when you had followed a friend to connecticut in the middle of pre-algebra. 

“do you understand any of this?” you whispered to grover. he gave you a look as if he had never seen a fraction before last week, and you sighed. your teacher, a kind old woman named ms. lucy, gave you a look. when she gave the class a new problem to work through, she came and knelt by your desk, looking over your shoulder at what you had managed so far. which was a whole lot of nothing, unless you included a sketch of grover that would make picasso proud. you shrunk sheepishly in your chair. 

you looked to your right, as if trying to see how bad it really was compared to your model, but he was gone. you turned back to ms. lucy. 

“did you see grover leave?” 

“hmm?”

“grover. did he go to the bathroom?”

“i assume so, dear. if you convert the decimal—" but grover’s things were gone. you felt terrible. you knew you were a terrible student, and ms. lucy was so kind to you anyways, but it wasn’t like grover to walk out of class like that. he was terrified of authority.

“i have to go,” you mumbled to ms. lucy, throwing your things in your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “stomachache.” 

she looked genuinely concerned. “would you like me to let the nurses know you’re coming?”

“no… no. that’s okay.” and you ran out the door. 

it wasn’t too hard to find grover. he was sitting in an empty classroom just a few doors down, but what was weirder was that he was watching a video on the projector. weirder still, he was talking to it. you knew it was rude to eavesdrop. it didn’t stop you from doing it. 

“chiron, i can’t just leave. she’s here, and she’s in danger. she needs a protector. anything could come for her at any moment—" was he talking about you? 

a deep voice over the projector, whose face you could hardly make out through the low-quality image, answered: “i will inform her mother and she will go home. she will stay there until we can send gleeson to collect her and—"

“why can’t you send gleeson for these kids?” 

“he’s too far, it would take him a day at least to reach them. i already told you, this was a request from hermes himself. he wants his son and his friends collected as soon as possible, and—" 

who the hell was gleeson? and hermes… who names their kid after a greek god? at least choose one with a better name than hermes. it sounded like a disease. your mother had named your brother after some greek hero, but he didn’t go by it. and at least it was, like, a human name. 

“he’s the god of travelers.” you were starting to worry that grover might be on drugs. what on earth had they put in those enchiladas at lunch? “can’t he get him, like, a car? a day could be too long for—"

“grover.” the voice boomed. that shut him up. “you will go. you will escort the son of hermes, the daughter of athena, and the daughter of zeus to camp, and then you may return to the city. this is not up for discussion.” you were really starting to think that the booming voice might have been two booming voices, but the door was closed and the audio was already crackly, so you decided it didn’t really matter. 

you heard grover’s voice say, “alright,” defeated and almost mournful, and then the message cut off. your eyes widened as you realized that grover would probably step outside any second, and you would have no excuse as to what you were doing with your ear to the wall. you turned slowly, and winced as your shoe squeaked on the linoleum floor. you started speedwalking. no sense in trying to hide anymore, you were just interested in getting as far away as possible before-

“oh, gods.” grover’s voice echoed between cinder block walls and metal lockers. “how much did you hear?”

you turned, your fingers nervously twisting the straps of your backpack. “i mean. not everything. just. you know.”

“almost everything?”

“yeah.”

“this is not good. this is really not good.” grover wasn’t talking to you anymore. he was pacing the short ways of the corridor, head in his hands, muttering to himself. “my first mission and i’ve already messed it up completely.” 

“how could you have messed it up completely? you haven’t even met these kids yet.”

“oh, gods,” grover groaned.

“woah, dude. are you like, hindu or something?”

“what?”

“you said gods. plural. i read this book—"

“okay,” grover interrupted. “you need to go home.” 

“okay. that was rude. also, it’s like the middle of the day. my mom’s at work and my stepdad will kill me if i come home early.”

“your stepfather. perfect. just climb in the back window of your room, and when your mom gets home, tell her that chiron says you need to go to camp immediately.”

“what? what the hell are you talking about? who— is that who you were talking to on the phone?”

“what?”

“the phone call. the one you were mad at me for overhearing…”

“okay. first of all, that was not overhearing, that was eavesdropping. second of all, i’m not mad. this just complicates things slightly. third of all—"

“dude, you need to—" grover glared at me, and i shut up. 

“third of all,” he repeated, “that wasn’t a phone call. it was an iris message.”

“a what?”

“nevermind. not important. ask about it at camp.”

“why do you keep talking about a camp? i haven’t been to camp since music camp in second grade, and they don’t want me back. i was really, really, bad at the recorder.”

“you played the recorder?” grover looked suddenly very interested. “nevermind. you need to go home.”

“dude. i’m telling you, i. can’t.” 

“you have to—"

“take me to connecticut,” you suggested. 

“what?”

“isn’t that where you’re running off to?”

“you can’t come to connecticut with me—"

“why not? you seemed pretty adamant on the phone—"

“iris message”

“that you needed to be with ‘her’. based on how insanely you have freaked out, i’m guessing that was me. so take me with you.”

“i know you have no idea what is going on right now—"

“thank you for finally acknowledging that important part of this conversation.”

“- but taking you to connecticut would be an astronomically bad idea. like i-would-get-fired kind of bad idea.”

“you’re twelve. how on earth would you get fired? child labor laws are—"

“i’m nineteen.” 

you laughed at that one. “yeah, sure.” 

grover rolled his eyes. “look, i really, really, wish i could explain more, but i need to go. and i really, really need you to go home.”

“ok.”

“like really, really need you to listen—" he paused. “okay? great!”

“if it means that much to you, i’ll go home.” grover sighed with relief. 

he was eating his words. and a tin can he had picked up off the street. you had followed him out of the building, watched him call a cab, and then, at the last second, jumped in after him, slammed the door, and told the driver to drive before grover could figure out what was going on. 

after your initial panic, when you realized you were hurtling up fifth avenue at three-hundred miles per hour with three old ladies behind the wheel, you had straightened yourself out, and made grover explain everything. he had, reluctantly, when he came to terms with the fact that you were in too deep to back out now.  

he explained camp, the greek (not hindu) gods, and the ladies in the front (who had one eye between them) were very helpful about filling in the details. so, so many details. he explained that he didn’t know who your parent was, just that you were powerful, and that he was planning on asking your mom before everything went up in flames.  

he explained that he was going to connecticut to escort three (now four) demigods to camp half-blood, and that they would likely be tailed by monsters the entire way back. four demigods as powerful as you, and one forbidden child — a child of zeus, poseidon, or hades, as he had mentioned — would attract a lot of attention. 

and you did. it took you a month to get to camp after you found thalia, luke, and annabeth, constantly being thrown off course by monsters, over which you got to know them better than any friends you’d had in your life (with the exception of maybe grover and your little brother). your mother was worried sick, but you iris-messaged her (grover finally got through on that one) every so often, letting her know you were okay. she was surprisingly understanding about camp. she apologized that she hadn’t been the one to take you herself, and that she had been forced to hide the truth from you for so long. the calls always ended though, when she tried to tell you who your father was. the water would shut off suddenly, the rainbow disappearing along with your mother, so you learned to avoid the topic if you wanted to continue talking. 

when thalia died, you were in shock. you sat at the edge of long island sound at camp for three days, staring into the ocean. you didn’t speak, even when you were claimed, as you sat, by your father, poseidon, and shuffled your things from the hermes cabin into cabin three. it was just another loss — you could no longer sleep in the bed next to luke’s. there were no familiar faces in cabin three — no faces at all. you were completely alone. 

eventually, an older aphrodite girl came by the cabin. she introduced herself as hannah, and she showed you around camp, forced you to sit with her and her siblings at dinner, dealing with chiron and mr. d’s disgruntlement herself, and at the campfire. she dragged you to the center of the amphitheater, dancing slowly at first, and then faster, until you were laughing and finding luke and annabeth in the crowd and dragging them to dance as well. 

you missed hannah so much. she wasn’t that far, a first year at barnard this fall, where you would hopefully be in a couple of years. you weren’t ready for college yet, you thought, so you would take a gap year (though you hadn’t been in school for years) and stay at camp, while chiron would help you convince the admissions committee (using the mist) that you had a perfect gpa, excellent extracurricular activities, and a stellar recommendation letter from a highly admired ancient greek scholar by the name of professor c. brunner.  

sitting at breakfast with you was probably miserable, you could admit. you were counting down the days until hannah came back, and your friends were definitely tired of it. but for some reason, this morning silena was practically jumping up and down with something. 

“will you stop?” you asked. “you’re shaking the entire table.” 

“i can’t, i’m sorry.” she seemed sincere in her apology. “i just— oh, you’ll see.”

you didn’t see, in fact, as someone jumped out from behind you and wrapped their arms around your head, their sweatshirt covering your eyes. “who—" you started, before you got a whiff of lavender-vanilla perfume and jumped up from the table. 

hannah. you shrieked, probably waking up half the camp. you spun around and tackled her to the ground, hugging her so tightly you would probably cut off her circulation. 

she pushed you off, laughing, and got to her feet. “it’s good to see you too, babe. what’s up with all of you? you never call, i feel like i’ve been completely cut off.” (you had iris-messaged her last week for five hours). 

“your sister is still absolutely obsessed with beckendorf,” you said, sitting down.

“hey!” silena protested.

“but of course he has no idea that he likes her.” silena turned pink. “no one here is good enough for annabeth, obviously—"

“i never said that, clarisse doesn’t let any boys near me.” you stick your tongue out at her. 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” clarisse said, feigning obliviousness. “you hang out with luke all the time.”

“he’s always hanging out with that new kid.” she grumbled. “or—"

“speaking of, clarisse definitely thinks this hermes boy is so cute— you haven’t met him, he got here a few months ago, but his name is chris, and i think they would be so cute together. she’s out of everyone’s league, obviously, but if anyone would be good for her—" 

“gods, you would think you’re the aphrodite kid, listening to you.” hannah smiled. she stole a bite of your french toast. 

“i’m just excited to see you,” you said, laying your head on her shoulder. silena and clarisse smirked. 

“she’s leaving somebody out here,” silena said, smiling. 

“i know, it’s weird, she never shuts up about him otherwise,” clarisse added, narrowing her eyes at you teasingly. 

“oh, who could you possibly be talking about?” hannah twirled a piece of hair. she hasn’t even been here, but one doesn’t forget their best friend’s crush of four years in a few months. 

“i do not,” you protested meekly. 

“you knew who we were talking about, though” 

“i spend a lot of time with him, that’s all. there would be a gaping hole if i told you about my day and didn’t bring him up.”

“would you stop pretending as if you aren’t in love with each other, please?” annabeth interrupted. “you’re worse than them, at least they can admit it.” she gestured at clarisse and silena. 

“i am not in love with him, annabeth.”

“you’re always starting at him.”

“i’m in conversation.”

“with your eyes. that is literally textbook romance.” 

“i could so admit if i was into him,” you say, cutting her off. “i admit things like that all the time. i told you i thought jack was cute. you know that kid from demeter?”

“we all know you made that up,” annabeth said, crossing her arms over her chest. silena gave her a light push. 

“don’t be so quick to accuse, annie.” only you and silena ever called her that. “i don’t think she made it up. i just don’t think she’s as into him as she is into him.”

“would you drop it, about luke, please?”

“hey, you said his name, not me,” silena smiled. “but sure. i don’t believe that you’re not into him, but i’ll drop it if you can prove that he isn’t into you.”

your heart sank. you weren’t sure why, but you suddenly felt nauseous at the thought. hannah’s hand rested on your knee, as if she could sense it. 

“how am i supposed to do that? i can’t read minds.” 

“hook up with jack at the campfire.”

“what?”

“flirt with him! you were just talking the other day about how you’re eighteen and you haven’t even had sex yet.” hannah covered annabeth’s ears, to which she shoved her off and glared. “jack’s, like, really hot. i saw you staring the other day.”

“when luke wasn’t around,” annabeth added, one eyebrow raised.

“you want me to have sex with jack?” 

“i’m not saying that. just flirt with him. see what happens. we’ll— she gestured between herself, clarisse, annabeth and hannah— see how luke is doing.” 

“okay, he isn’t going to be doing anything,” you said. “i don’t see what this accomplishes.” but even as you were saying it, your mind betrayed you. you thought for a second and conjured an image of strong arms holding you, soft lips kissing yours with the bonfire light in the background. maybe you were near the beach.

“we’ll see,” silena smiled. 

you didn’t want to go all the way, or anything. you knew that. but… jack was really hot. and sweet. he was always catching little kids falling off of obstacle courses with soft bushes, and growing them flower crowns. it couldn’t hurt to talk to him, see what happened. maybe he’d ask you out, or something. bring you flowers on a date. and you guessed you wouldn’t mind making out with him. 

the campfire roared in the middle of the amphitheater. the only people there were the older campers, and some counselors trickling back in from tucking kids into bed. you had helped luke with the hermes cabin, because he had so many kids to take care of, and you had none. 

you pulled the covers over katie, a girl a little younger than annabeth, who had gotten to camp a few months ago. she was still unclaimed, but with the way she spent all day in the strawberry fields, and the plants tended to shoot up around her, you were fairly sure where she belonged. 

you kissed the top of her head, and stood up, looking around the dark cabin for luke, seeing him kneeling beside a little boy, probably about the same age as katie. the boy sounded like he was crying. 

 “hey, connor,” luke whispered, rubbing circles on the kid’s back. “it’s okay. it’s okay. i get them too.” you realized that the boy must have been afraid to fall asleep. “travis is right above you, he’ll protect you, okay? nothing bad can happen to you here.”

he looked over at you, before turning back to connor. “and we can play poker tomorrow, you’re getting pretty good.”

“are you leaving?” the boy whispered, choking a bit on his tears.

“just for a little bit, kid. i’ll be back soon, i promise. i’ll be here when you wake up. i’m not going to leave you anytime soon.”

“okay,” the boy mumbled. luke pulled the covers over his shoulders, and ruffled his hair before turning to you. 

“let’s go,” he mouthed, gesturing at the door. the two of you crept outside, luke much more stealthily than you, closing the door silently. “god of thieves,” he shrugged, but he didn’t grin as he usually did when he bragged. you didn’t have to ask why, but you played along. 

“yeah, yeah, i know,” you said, rolling your eyes. “can we go now?”

“yeah, ‘course,” he said. he slung his arm over your shoulder, pulling you into him as you walked, and you couldn’t help but think of silena’s words as you rested your head on his chest.

arriving back at the campfire, you pulled yourself away from luke, walking over to hannah. she smirked at you, pulling you in for a hug. 

“you don’t have to do this, you know,” she said. 

“i know,” you replied. “i want to. he’s cute.” 

and he was, you thought, as he led you away from the campfire. you’d sat for an hour, letting the flames dance over your skin as you talked with him. he made you laugh, even blush when he grew a flower out of the stone to tuck behind your ear. when he grabbed your hand and pulled you to your feet, you felt dizzy, though that might have been the alcohol. 

as you walked further away from the amphitheater, you spun around in the grass, laughing, and he laughed with you. or at you? you couldn’t really tell, and you didn’t really care. you just wanted to kiss him. you didn’t notice that you weren’t heading near the cabins until he stopped in a little cove at the edge of the forest. 

“why are we here?” you asked, a little dazed. 

“come on,” he said. “you know why.” 

and then he was kissing you. it was messy, and made you kind of uncomfortable, but you told yourself to get over it. you couldn’t expect it to live up to the time luke had kissed you, on a dare, when you were thirteen. nothing would ever live up to that, because you couldn’t have him. he hadn’t even cared when you had left him at the party, talking up some girl you couldn’t really see on the other side of the fire.

you blinked, pulling away from jack. you hadn’t realized as you were thinking it, but you had admitted to yourself for the first time that yes: you did want luke. really, really, wanted him. you pushed back on jack lightly. 

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i can do this right now,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth on the sleeve of your hoodie — luke’s hoodie, that he had given you that night after he kissed you, when you were shivering outside, staring into space because you couldn’t understand what you were feeling. 

“come on, it’s fine,” jack replied, pulling you back into his arms. they weren’t like the arms you were picturing earlier. no, you could admit to yourself new that those had been luke’s. your mind was reeling— you knew that you couldn’t have him, that he would never like you like you liked him, but kissing jack felt wrong. not that you had really been kissing him back. 

“i want to go home,” you said, and you weren’t sure where you meant. back to the campfire, to luke and hannah, back to your cabin? maybe even back to your mom on the upper east side, who you missed every day but couldn’t live with during the year for the sake of your little brother, who was too young to know that he, too, was a son of poseidon. 

“really? you were flirting with me all night,” jack mumbled into your lips. “stay a little longer.” it was true, you had been flirting with him. you figured you could at least make out with him for a bit. you resigned, letting him lower you onto the grass, and reluctantly letting him run his hands along the hem of your shirt. 

hannah was getting worried, and luke could tell. he had forced himself off when you were clearly interested in that demeter guy, who luke knew and was friends with but suddenly hated with all his guts. he had forced himself to be interested in getting the details on silena and beckendorf, which he didn’t really realize he was getting to share with you later, resigning to glancing too often through the flames of the fire at your face, and the way the flames made you look like a goddess. no, he thought. you always looked like a goddess. 

but hannah, who had just arrived back at camp for the summer that morning, was biting her lip, and looking around with a bothered expression on her face, and luke had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, that he needed to know you were safe immediately. 

he walked over to hannah, probably too quickly, and didn’t waste time asking how she was, or how college had been. “where is she?” he demanded, too forcefully. he would have to apologize to hannah later, but he only had one thing on his mind.“what’s wrong?”

“oh. hey, luke,” she said, still in a sort of trance. he snapped his finger away from her face, shaking his head.

“hannah? where is she?” 

she shook her head and widened her eyes. it was clear to luke that you had picked up that habit of staring out at nothing when you were deep in thought, usually not about pleasant things. “she’s with jack,” she said. “they left a little while ago. i just… i don’t know. i should go check that she’s back at her cabin by now.” 

“yeah, yeah we should,” luke grumbled, and started taking the steps out of the theater two at a time in an effort to get out. hannah followed— you had told him that his stress could be contagious. 

you weren’t in your cabin. you weren’t in the demeter cabin either, and the pair of them woke up a bunch of kids as you barged in, which he was sure mr. d would have a lot to say about in the morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

he ran across the basketball court, hannah close behind. 

“i have an idea of where they might be,” hannah said, pointing in the direction of the woods.

“how do you know?” 

“because i showed jack that spot when we were fourteen,” she said, grumbling. luke clearly wasn’t the only one who cared about you. 

“i thought you were gay?” luke questioned, not slowing down. 

“yeah. like i said, fourteen. people explore things, figure themselves out.” gods, she thought, men could be so incredibly stupid. 

they ran faster than ever to the edge of the woods, where sure enough, they found you, lying on a mossy stone with jack hovering over you. luke wanted to run to you immediately, but hannah held him back — no easy feat, but she managed. 

“hold on, romeo,” she strained. “you can’t just barge in there and—” then she heard it— the unmistakable sound of your voice, and the word stop.

“jack…” you mumbled. you were so drunk. you weren’t sure where you were anymore, and you didn’t really remember walking over here, though you knew you had. “jack, we can do this later, i’m tired—” 

“you’re fine, it’s fine,” he said quietly, starting to undo the zipper of your shorts. you reached down to stop him, but he pushed your hand away, and as it hit the stone, moss started growing over it, holding it there. 

“jack, stop it,” you said, more forcefully this time. you realized that he didn’t even know what he was doing, and for some reason that scared you more. he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but he wanted it— he wanted you held down, and he didn’t care that you didn’t. 

he shushed you, but looked up at a rustling in the trees, and a familiar grunt. 

luke broke out of hannah’s arms, but it didn’t really matter, because she had been letting him go anyways. he stormed across the clearing, and while you were still dazed and confused, you couldn’t miss the entirety of jack’s weight being ripped from on top of you, and you thought you saw a fist collide with his face. 

hannah, however, rushed to your side. she didn’t particularly want to see luke end up bloody and beaten in the infirmary, but she had bigger fish to fry right now: namely, you. she tore up the moss, no longer strong as jack’s focus was elsewhere, and redid your shorts for you. there were tears on your face as she pulled you to your feet. 

there was so much noise. jack was shouting at luke, but you couldn’t make out the words. you could hear the music and the gleeful sounds of counselors from the amphitheater, but it seemed worlds away from you. 

as hannah led you out of the woods, much faster than you could really manage, your head began to pound behind your eyes. a splitting pain hit your forehead, and your vision went black and spotty. you stumbled forward, relying entirely on hannah to keep you upright, but one stray tree root took you down. you swam between consciousness and a dark, dark sleep. there was screaming, it was hannah, and then the familiar deep voice of clarisse, barking orders. you thought you heard annabeth’s name, and then two strong sets of arms lifting you up, and carrying you away. 

you woke up at the bottom of the sea. no. that wasn’t right. the bottom of the sea was soft, covered in mud and sand. you tried to stretch your body, hitting plastic walls. as your eyes focused, you could make out cartoon fish swimming entirely too close to your face, and you sat up with a start, splashing water all over a corner of the infirmary. 

a kiddie pool. they had filled a kiddie pool with salt water, and left you in it overnight to soak, like one of those colorful dinosaur toys that grew in water. and the worst part was that it seemed to have worked. you felt brand new, like you had slept for a hundred years, and at the same time followed a very strict workout regimen, taken a juice cleanse and eaten like a king. you groaned, and slipped back under the water. 

you stared at the ceiling, watching wooden beams ripple with the surface of your personal ocean. you wondered if your father ever felt like this is in the pacific, if he could be that big if he wanted to. your camp necklace floated up before your face, crossing a familiar face lurking over you. 

you sat up. cara fletcher, hannah’s friend, held out some nectar. you shook your head. 

“i’m okay.”

she raised an eyebrow. 

“fine,” you sighed, taking the flask and drinking. it did help. you felt like you could take on the minotaur. 

“your friends were here all night,” she said. i kicked them out around ten because they were falling asleep on each other, and i didn’t need any more cracked skulls when they fell off the stools. 

“more?” you asked. she sighed, looking over her shoulder. 

“your boyfriend beat that kid up pretty bad last night,” she said. you didn’t see jack lying on any of the cots, but a head of dark curls lay a few beds down, and the body attached to it did not look to be in great shape.

“he’s not my boyfriend.” you answered quickly, not taking your eyes off of luke. “is he okay?”

cara seemed to make out which he’s you were referring to. “i wasn’t talking about him,” she said. “hannah told me what happened. if you ask me, luke didn’t do nearly enough damage.” 

“don’t tell him that,” you said. “and he’s also not my boyfriend,” you added as you processed her words fully. 

“not yet, he’s not.” hannah said, strolling in with three bagels in hand.

“i thought i told you to go to bed,” cara scolded, taking her bagel. “you’re going to drop dead one of these days.” hannah smiled, ignoring her as he sat down next to her and put her arm around her shoulders.

you glance between them, ideas churning in your mind, but they were quickly interrupted by the bagel being shoved in your face. you had always thought that the harpies must have spent some time in the city— they made a dam good bagel.  

“so.” hannah started. “you are going to tell us everything you’re thinking right now, because i see you looking over at him every two seconds, and don’t think you’re getting out of any of it.”

“i’m eating,” you grumbled. hannah reached to snatch the bagel away, but cara swatted her hand back. 

“she’s recovering.” you stuck your tongue out at hannah. 

“i don’t care,” hannah said. “spill.” 

“look, i don’t even know what happened last night—” 

“because you were really, really, drunk,” she interrupted. 

“do you want me to speak or not?” you demanded. 

“okay. fine. but just so you’re aware, he swooped in and defended you, and beat the shit out of that little asshole, who, just between us, mr. d is fucking fuming with.” trust hannah to get distracted two seconds in. demigod adhd was no joke. “he dragged him to the big house this morning himself, severe concussion and all, and according to lee, chewed him out for about an hour. something about the sanctity of drunkenness and how it is not to be weaponized… even chiron was surprised.” she paused for breath. 

“anyways, the point stands— he,” she nodded her head at luke, “was quite literally your knight in shining armor, and if you still don’t think he is absolutely enamored with you—” and you were pretty sure you heard a cot creak— “then i swear on my mother i will call her down and force her to do something about this because i cannot take it any longer.” 

“he was just being a good person, hannah,” you muttered. “he’s just like that.” 

hannah looked as though she were about to scream, but cara rubbed her hand along her thigh, calming her before she spoke herself. 

“there’s something more than that, isn’t there?” she asked softly, and you thought she was staring directly into your soul. “there’s a reason you don’t think he likes you.”

you hesitated, splashing the water around in your pool and making eye contact with a cartoon fish as you worked up the courage to say what it was you knew you had to get off your chest.

“before last night,” you started, your voice cracking as you spoke, “it was just me thinking i wasn’t pretty enough, or good enough for him. that he wouldn’t look at me because there are so many other girls at this camp who are obsessed with him. and i don't think i realized that i liked him either. but now…” a sob came from the back of your throat, and you looked up at hannah, tears streaking your red face. 

“why would he want me now?” you sobbed.

“hey. stop that,” hannah started. “what jack did to you wasn’t your fault, and everyone knows that.” she was trying to make you feel better, but the news that your pathetic love life was the talk of camp wasn’t exactly reassuring.

“it was, though,” you said quietly. “i led him on. i never told him no that strongly, and i was flirting with him all night. what reason did he have not to think… not to…” you were hyperventilating now, your words coming out in broken syllables. 

“i’m a fucking slut, and now everyone knows it,” you managed. you sank back into the water to slow your breathing, but tears still streamed down your face. 

“that’s bullshit,” came a voice from elsewhere in the infirmary. you could have thrown up then and there. you pulled yourself up by the walls of the kiddie pool, looking down the aisle as luke castellan limped towards you. his scarred eye was bruised and bloodshot, and he had a massive scrape running up his left arm, and that was just what you could see. the tears began to fall faster. 

“luke…” 

you were thirteen years old again, at the top of half-blood hill, holding grover upright. you were watching desperately as he stumbled upward, through the pouring rain, carrying a screaming little girl who was trying with all her might to run back and help her friend. all four of you were sobbing, exhausted and beaten. seeing them all like that was ten times more painful than the gash in your side. 

“that’s bullshit,” luke repeated. you got up from the pool and held his face in your hand, inspecting the bruise. you took the rest of the nectar cara had given you, holding it to his lips, but he pushed it away. “you’re not a slut,” he said. suddenly everything about your conversation came rushing back to you, and it hit you that you had just admitted to him that you were in love with him. 

you turned your head. hannah and cara were gone, slipped out the back door. you turned back to face luke, face red and tears pouring over your skin.

“that wasn’t your fault. you didn’t owe him anything. he‘s disgusting, and deserves to have his fucking dick cut off.” you laugh, despite everything. 

“i think mr. d may have actually taken care of that,” you whispered. 

“good.” you looked at him for a while. his eyes were so beautiful, a deep, deep, brown that reminds you of the otters that hung mysteriously around your upper east side apartment when you lived in the city.   

“why did you have to fight him?” you asked, reaching up to his face again. 

“you were in trouble,” he said. 

“luke.” the tears were threatening to fall again. “you could have seriously hurt yourself. i just… why? why not just pull him off of me?” you needed an answer. you needed to know why, why on earth he had put so much of himself in front of you, in front of jack’s fists.

he looked down at you, a pained expression on his face. “you know why,” he whispered. 

he looked down at your lips, and you shook your head softly. you looked down at your feet. you were so afraid, afraid that he wouldn’t be interested now that you didn’t want… that. from him. yet— that you considered looking up and letting him kiss you.

he shocked you when he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him, holding the back of your head into the space between his chest and his shoulder. 

“okay,” he whispered. “that’s okay.” then, softer. “i love you.”

you couldn’t say it back. not yet, not now. but you held him tighter, holding on to him like he was the only thing stopping you from falling into tartarus. 

“i’ll be here forever,” he spoke into your hair. and you believed him. 

the hermes cabin hosted a movie night that night. you were watching the incredibles two, at a request from connor stoll, who was currently involved in an intense argument with annabeth over which installment was better.  

“i think i’m going to start calling you that,” luke whispered in your ear. “jack-jack.” you glared at him. “‘cause, you know, your last name’s jackson-” 

“yeah, dude, i got the joke,” you said. you rolled your eyes, nuzzling your head into his chest. you could stay like this for a while, you thought, and as you closed your eyes, you felt him press a kiss to your head — something you had told him was okay. you couldn’t wait to bring him home for a weekend. maybe annabeth, too. you couldn’t help but think she would get along great with your brother.

⭑

a/n: hello loves! i hope you enjoyed this, please please leave any feedback or anything, and let me know if you would like me to continue this story/write more of luke and the reader's past. i hope people enjoyed the little hints at percy! so excited for this reader and to explore all her relationships.

[rin-and-jade]

Accidentally Setting Off Bombs?.. : A Post on (system) Triggers

What if you're on a fine day, nothing's going wrong, only to be met with a specific phrase or experience that throws off your balance for the next few days?

Well, it seems like you got some landmines in your mental territory with it's uninviting presence--but triggers are more than just a trauma mechanism. As basically, we all (singlet and systems) operate with many, many, different types of triggers that makes us act the way we are.

This post will cover different kinds of triggers, educate the nuance of its purpose, as well as how they operate--or respond like, and how to handle the typical destructive and bad triggers! There's even bonus info. CLICK ME!!

TLDR section: gotchu covered! Scroll to most bottom.

Trigger? What trigger?

Uhhm.. Hold for a sec guys-- *googles awkwardly infront of you* Alright, found it: "to cause something to start" -Cambridge Dictionary

To cause something, you say? Okay, i see now, try bringing yourself back to past experiences for a while and observe how some responses/conversations had made you feel: sad? happy? confused? angry?

That's a general example of triggers, as they spark an emotion to you within a brief moment after you've finished registering and processing an information.

When it comes to system topics, the word "triggers" are often used to describe any informational/sensory input that caused/starts a switch between two parts. This usually takes more than sparking a fuse that will cause emotions to do that though.. here, let the chief explain some types for you:

Types of triggers.. (and as bomb names)

Internal - Dynamite Caused by: Thoughts, memories, experiences Combustion power: High

Details: Due to high sensitivity, any internal pressure can cause it to detonate and land a strong impact, giving way for strong emotional reactions to hit fast and strong, or a sudden switch to happen.

External - Landmine Caused by: Stimuli from external environments (scents, people, places) Combustion power: High

Details: Due to its ability to detect pressure on a proximity, rearing too close to one would cause a detonation, no matter how unexpected or aloof.

Physiological - Grenade Caused by: Heart rate, pain, hunger, fatigue, etc Combustion power: Moderate high

Details: Being exposed to a stimulus causes the safety pin to be pulled, which gradually causes a build up of chemicals before reaching to the shell's threshold, causing a defined space of explosion.

Psychological - Time bomb Caused by: Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, etc Combustion power: Moderate

Details: Set with a special timer, after being triggered, it has a defined length of time before it detonates, this can be from a couple of seconds to hours. Failure to diffuse, would mean the prolonged exposure and effects will inevitably, turn into an explosive mess.

Behavioral - Smoke bomb Caused by: Routine, certain repetition, engaging an activity Combustion power: Moderate

Details: They're not apparently harmful, but when deployed, it causes a fog of confusion, causing dissociation and detachment from a certain part to notice or be fully aware of the situation. Unlike other previous bombs, they may cause a more silent/subtle or temporary switch or shift.

Emotional - Firecrackers Caused by: Negative, or positive emotions Combustion power: Low to moderate

Details: Although small, they're very loud and explosive. They do not have any destructive capabilities within them, yet capable of causing a temporary reaction of emotions or myriad of things. Possibly close to a partial switch/influence. Unless strong, it could cause a switch.

Symptom - Flare gun Caused by: Presence of specific symptoms from illnesses/health Combustion power: Low

Details: They don't have any explosive or destructive qualities, rather, it's akin to an SOS signal, alerting possible parts to come by as an aid to the situation, responding and taking the wheel from the distress call, tanking discomfort/symptoms.

Meaning of terms: "Caused by" - To convey what it detects that started the trigger "Combustion power" - To convey how strong it facilitates a switch, and/or how destructive the reaction would be if it sets the fuse off

Okay, but how do they work??

Explosives devices such as dynamites, landmines, or grenades pack a lot of charged emotions or reactions that is strong enough as a signal to your brain to perform several brain modes and complete a switch that is necessary to the heat of the situation.

While less destructive ones like crackers and flares do not hold enough pressure or combustion, which explains partial alter influences, or just enough to call them into the co-conscious proximity.

--

The idea of how triggers facilitate switches is from how these inputs are taken account into brain modes as cues, and depending on the cues and learnt patterns, it will bring forth an associated alter that fits for the situation.

In short, parts have their own memory banks of experiences and triggers, which is why dangerous or stressful situations bring forth protectors or why seeing cute videos or toys bring forth littles.

Are we ever free from triggers?

No, not really--but that doesn't mean its bad!

Generally, triggers are just the mediator to initiate certain steps, actions, emotions, or learnt behaviors to navigate our life. It's what puts us into work mode, or when to joke--when to not. We're made of different sets of modes, and these triggers made sure we act and think correctly within specific situations.

The issue here is when traumatic triggers are ruining other benign types of triggers, which i will address next.

When bombs are planted with trickery:

The complexity starts here. Why? Because triggers also works in stacks and combos. Especially the traumatic ones. A trigger only can shift/affect a mood or state, but combo'd ones does a rollercoaster of reactions, where most damage is done.

They're capable of stacking or performed in combos due to how each activates another trigger, one after other, i'll give an example:

You got insulted by someone (external trigger) -> Caused you to feel sad (emotional trigger) -> Makes you remember all the other times you've disappointed people (internal trigger) -> These past experiences slowly overwhelm you and cloud your judgement (psychological trigger) -> Which causes a breakdown and perform unhealthy coping mechanisms, like isolating or substances (behavioral trigger)

Oof.... yeah no one would like that. Right? Right??..

Alright, and that's how easy it is to get caught up to a reactive state. And you'd love to know ANY. FRICKING. WAYS. to diffuse that annoying pattern.. which i do know--if not this post won't even be released if it doesn't have the advice section.

Chief, spill your CIA files on this!

I am, i am!!..

Oftentimes, these triggers hit you big and hard,, because once ya lose your cool? Thats game over. Now, here's a lil cheat sheet:

Identify the device Which is why understanding and identifying the name of the bombs is the first important step to counter the detonation. Did you snap a trigger for defensive behavior? Or the one that makes you feel lots of things?

Do not run, attempt to diffuse instead I mean, we all want to escape from potential dangers, but that doesn't stop the explosion, which may or may not hurt you or other people within the process. Once you start feeling finicky or a little panicky--immediately assert yourself to recognize your build up pressure, that'll muffle it good and helps you and control from the reactive bursts from affecting you emotionally and mentally.

Cut the wires off (get out of the negative thought loop) Take proactive steps to solve or manage your emotions. We often assume the worst would happen, and thats when.. you leave the bomb as it is. Get going and prevent the worst possible scenario. Craft a plan on how you can manage,, are there pliers? Do you have enough time to cover with a shield to avoid its impact? I don't know, smash it!

Understand consequences (additional info) When you realize that there are various ways to react after a trigger is activated, you might see which can make the situation worse, or can make the situation lighter. This buys you a little more time to reflect and choose the outcome you truly want to achieve.

For first-timers, it is hard to fight off the bombs because you never had a plan or experience to handle them, if so, this is your call to create a plan or strategy whenever triggers will topple your balance. Most importantly, self confidence and trust in managing a difficult, bomby situation would do you wonders.

If you failed to deactivate the bomb:

Salvage the situation If the damage was inevitable, then you can attempt to ground yourself back, and empathetically apologize to the people who got hurt in the process. Explain to them what just happened, and etc.

Log them in What pattern did you see? What can you implement next time to manage the situation better? This is a good moment for reflection/evaluation and planning.

Give yourself some grace (most important) You're just learning, punishing or shaming yourself won't get you anywhere far. It's okay, you can still practice to deflect another future trigger if you do failed a bunch.

Bonus Information

Triggers are also connected to the polyvagal theory, i'll share you a bit on it!

When brain modes has the job to pull out the right alters for the right situation then... who opens the gate for a switch to happen? Thats right, its your big brother: Mr. PV .

Hyper-aroused vagus:

Switches happen within the sympathetic state--which is all about action and fight/flight. Being in a sympathetic state makes certain alters with active roles be more alert, and also signals an urgency to be flexible or adapt to the situation. The threshold for triggers to feel 'moderate' emotions also lowers (means more sensitive), which also make sense why you are easier to be irritated or emotional in a heightened state.

Often times, if too many alters are co-conscious, and variated stimulus are presented, this causes multiple switches at short successions in attempt to upkeep the demand of which alter is needed within the ever-changing moment. Like when you're trying to juggle some balls with your hands, it's akin to multitasking.. but juggling alters around.

Oh right, sounds familiar huh? That's what rapid switch is.

Hypo-aroused vagus:

But, when you're too overwhelmed or had exerted alot of strain/energy, you might crash into a mental exhaustion.

This exhaustion is the dorsal vagal state, where your body attempts to conserve and hide away when active fighting doesn't work. triggers are harder to facilitate switches as it puts the threshold bar up high.. rendering normal triggers obsolete.

Felt like you've been there? Well, that's the process which made you front-stuck, which you might recognize.

-- clarification -- Rapid switch and front-stuck also involve other factors such as stress tolerance and emotional resilience, take this as a piece of pov to learn how these two mechanisms works.

Takeaway

Alright fellas.. that's all you get from the hands on education on my bomb camp. What kind of bomb do you often experience? Which one is the most annoying to you so far? Let me know!

Also.. it would be awesome if you start mentioning triggers as bomb names as they almost perfectly depict what they feel like.

AND REMEMBER. Do not attempt to intentionally trigger a bomb without a professional or a trusty friend. Doing so alone would cause unwanted effects. If you want to un-learn your triggers, contact me,, the master of bombs,,, i'll be able to curate a personalized step by step on how to tackle them!

(and... uh... i write my posts differently after final fusing, i hope you guys are okay with this forever now)

-- TLDR --

Triggers in DID they are cues (internal, external, emotional, etc.) that cause a specific reaction or switch between alters, depending on the situation.

Triggers vary in impact: some are like dynamite (internal triggers from memories), others like landmines (external stimuli), grenades (physiological states), time bombs (psychological stress), smoke bombs (behavioral patterns), firecrackers (emotional responses), or flare guns (symptom-related).

Polyvagal Theory explains rapid switching between hyperarousal (fight-or-flight state) and hypoarousal (shutdown state), contributing to feeling "stuck" or experiencing frequent switches.

Not all triggers are negative; they can play an adaptive role, bringing forward the most appropriate alter for a situation. Learn to manage and "diffuse" these triggers by identifying them, using grounding techniques, and developing strategies to mitigate their effects.

Key takeaway: Triggers are a natural part of life for everyone, but managing traumatic triggers is essential for those with DID. Understanding and handling them effectively can help maintain balance and well-being.

- chrono

[azrielsmate87]

Small Dilemma

Azriel x reader

(I live in the Uk, the average height for women is five three here. Ive googled it multiple times 😂)

Sneaking out of bed proved to be a challenge. Especially when the bed was warm, cozy with your mate that had his arms wrapped tightly around you. Usually you’d revel in these moments with him and the pea full look on his face, but Az treated you to a surprise date last night, knowing you had a rough week at work. He wanted to see you relaxed at home, and selfishly spend some quality time with his mate. Neither of you made it home however. You both decided that you should stay in the town house as it was closer then your cabin on the outskirts of velaris and Az didn’t have the patience to winnow you home but rather his old room.

After the wonderful events of last night you decided to make him some coffee as he’s usually grumpy without it, bless him. It was the least you could do. You wanted to do something nice even if it was small compared to the wonderful evening prior. After what felt like forever you managed to carefully wiggle out of his arms and quietly make your way to the kitchen. It was different to yours obviously as yours was small but cozy. The one at the town house had servants preparing an array of foods for breakfast that seemed to all scatter at your arrival.

“Forgot Rhys had kitchen staff” you mumbled not deterred by your mission to make your mate some coffee while you make yourself from tea. One other small thing you forgot about….. the height difference.

Being on the verge of average height meant you were a little on the small side. But you had read all the height statistics you could find in the library to attempt to stop the short quips from the inner circle. Key word being attempt. If anything they found your stubbornness / annoyance funny, frequently comparing you to an angry kitten. Even though you were a solid 3 inches taller then Amren, even more so in heels.

The mugs were located in a cupboard above the worktops, this place was clearly designed for those who where over 5’5 5’6 so you couldn’t exactly reach. Jumping up onto the counter top you could reach the handle. Relieved that it was only a small jump needed and not some manoeuvre you’d have to think off. However your moment of relief was short lived as your stupid mate interrupted you.

“Need me to get that for you love?” He smirked leaning against the door frame shadows dancing round him, some slithering up your arms and into your hair. Distracting you from your task ay hand. No! You came this far! You’ve done it all by yourself! Why now does he have to ruin the nice thing you’ve been trying to do for him for the past ten minutes!?

“Are you insulting the vertically challenged?!” You yelled. Ok so maybe it wasn’t Az who was grumpy in the morning without caffeine….

He smiled and let out a small laugh holding your gaze for a couple moments before holding his hands in surrender and retreating to the living room.

Happy that he left you finally opened the cupboard, you froze. “I could of sworn the mugs were on the bottom shelf” you mumbled looking at the mugs that were on the back of the top shelf as they looked back mocking you. Looking at the width of the counter you swung your feet up and tried to find footing to stand. Determined to do this for Az. Slowly standing with one foot in front of the other you quickly realised this was a stupid idea and that you’d loose your balance the minuet you added weight to a side.

“Dammit!”

After hopping down, you slowly made your way towards Az. Head hung low as you acknowledge defeat. He knew you were there, you could see his shadows whispering in his ears. After a few moments he met your gaze quirking an eyebrow, smug look on his face. Bastard.

“Help meeeee” you whined. He smiled and walked into the kitchen with you trailing after him. “I just wanted to do something nice for you after yesterday” you confessed into his chest while hugging him tightly as he grabbed the mugs. He put them down to return the hug murmuring a sweet “I know” into your hair giving you a soft squeeze.

He then felt bad for getting his shadows to move the mugs when you weren’t looking.

[anjumstar]

anjum's bkdk recs 20

Ten more (complete) sfw bkdk fic recs. If you read any of these and enjoy them, lmk! And, more importantly, let the authors know with a comment! Plus, send me your recs, and maybe they’ll make the next list!

Legend

hyperlinked title by author | word count

Genre warning(s): where relevant Summary/review

💚🧡 = fave

Recs are under the cut, organized by word count, low to high.

61. notebook by delicate cherry, sobashouto (snowandfire) | 2.3k

romance, general A really short and sweet fic that’s kind of the moments just before bkdk start dating. The boys aren’t quite seeing eye-to-eye, Baku isn’t communicating exactly what he’s feeling, but that’s what makes it feel really in character. They’re not great at this, but they’re just starting to try.

62. Hey, I’m Fine by majjale | 3.2k 💚🧡

angst, romance Angst with a happy ending! I didn’t trust this author, though, haha, I really thought I was about to get staked through the heart. (I don’t always read tags…) Lovely characterization, especially for Deku. It’s tender and domestic meets pro hero life. Love that intersection, as it’s basically all I want for bkdk. Pro hero canonverse action with soft domesticity. Perfect.

63. Diversion Tactic by garbage_dono | 7.5k 💚🧡

romance A cute take on UA bkdk getting together! Feels grounded in canon with good characterization. And it’s somehow fresh in its initiating event, with following gay panic from our beloved Bakugou.

64. Not All Heroes Wear Capes by vulcanhighblood | 11k

romance, fake dating, get together Fake dating fic! Bakugou has the brilliant idea to fake date Deku to get paparazzi off Deku’s back. Maybe not brilliant, lol. The fic has good doses of Baku’s brand of immaturity, it feels age appropriate, and Deku surely has a backbone against Baku’s silly scheme.

65. half drunk, happy by froggenbie | 13.2k

warning: drunk (non-explicit) (bkdk not dkbk) sex romance, get together Bkdk are roommates after graduation, and they start having drunk hookups. Then they’re not so drunk. I knew the writing would be quality right at the beginning of this fic. Sometimes you just know. Bkdk have their horrible communication skills but natural chemistry and deep need for each other and it was a great take on a familiar story.

66. Go Get Your Man, Young Bakugou! by red_sneakers | 16.6k

comedy, romance This one is pretty silly. Not quite crack, because I can kind of believe it for these losers XD They need a bit of help and extra guidance to get together, but it’s nice to see the boys being stupid together while falling in love.

67. Voicemail by raeryn | 20.7k

angst warning: MCD If you wanna cry on the train like I did, read this one. I’ll go ahead and tell you, since it’s clear from early on—Deku is dead and Baku isn’t handling it well. The story is his long journey to reaching some level of closure with some help from his friends. Unhappy ending isn’t usually my fave genre, but idk, this one ends nicely, even if the sad doesn’t fully go away.

68. Walls I Didn’t Know I Had by Elisa Jaded | 21.5k

hurt/comfort, romance Post-war, Katsuki wakes up from his injuries to find that Deku isn’t in the shelter with everyone else. Turns out he’s somewhere else, in desperate need of Baku’s support. They find happiness again together, good balance of realistic angst to romance!

69. Healing Pains by lurethegalaxy | 23.2k

romance Pining Bakugou and oblivious Deku is such a delicious flavor. Bakugou having done some level of emotional work on himself—but still being constipated to heck and gone—while Deku just avoids avoids avoids feels so correct to me. I liked living in that take with a fic recent enough that it feels really grounded in what the directly post-war aftermath would have felt like.

70. The Night We Met by majjale | 37.3k

angst, adventure, romance Another painful one. Baku is immortal and Deku keeps dying. AU. Now, you know I hate AUs, (and I had the same issues here I always do, tbh…) but the prose is magnificent. I wish I’d been highlighting as I read. Even if I imagine these as OCs, it’s worth the read because of the writing quality. The brief, cryptic author’s notes add to it. If you’re okay with a pretty heavy dose of angst, please give it a go. (I linked the series, as there are 2 very short sequels)

more recs can be found here 💚🧡

[seikilos-stele]

Izzy, Ed, and Saying “I’m Sorry”

I saw a post recently that said Ed’s apology (“sorry about your leg”) was fine actually, because that’s just how Ed and Izzy are, it’s just how they talk.

So I wanted to stress: that’s how Ed is. That’s not how Izzy is.

When Izzy apologizes, it’s: “I said some things I regret last night. I don’t think you’re a shell of a man or a twat.” And: “Ed, I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible to you. I fed your darkness. Blackbeard. For years I egged him on even though I knew you’d outgrown him.”

In S1 and S2 we see how izzy apologizes. He acknowledges his wrongdoing in specific “I” statements — “I did THIS, and I regret it,” “I did THIS, and it was a terrible thing to do.” When Ed apologizes it’s “Sorry about your leg.” Not “Sorry for what I did to your leg,” and no eye contact.

Some people think that Izzy’s response, “Fuck off,” is evidence that he doesn’t accept Ed’s apology, but I disagree — I do think Izzy accepted. I think it’s the most he’s ever gotten from Ed and he knows he’s not going to get anything better. Ed himself says he’s never apologized before, and only does it (not to Izzy but to the crew) when Stede makes him.

It’s worth analyzing how the two apologies are treated by the narrative as well. When Ed apologizes, all is forgiven; he gets his crew (“Ed, they love you”), he gets his lover and his happy ending. For Izzy, the narrative isn’t so kind. In one case, his apology is met with deceit from Ed — to prevent Izzy from further apologizing (by leaving the ship) Blackbeard lies to Izzy and says he plans to kill Stede, then maneuvers Izzy into doing it for him. Only to let Izzy be banished, because he never really wanted Stede dead in the first place. To recap, Izzy is mean to Ed in private; he gives a sincere, unprompted apology the next morning and tries to repent by leaving the ship; he is narratively punished with a humiliating duel and banishment.

In S2, Izzy apologizes to the crew by protecting them from the Kraken, and he IS narratively rewarded for this. His wordless apology results in love from the crew, acceptance, and support. It’s worth noting that we never see Ed make the same concerted effort to change his behavior. Stede tries to push Ed into it, but Ed resists — he rolls his eyes, he treats it as a joke, and he tries to convince his crew that they actually enjoyed being tortured. This is very different from Izzy, who quietly changes his ways without being forced or prompted.

In the finale, Izzy apologizes for feeding Ed’s darkness and absolves Ed for the way he mutilated Izzy in the S1 finale and first two episodes of S2. These mutilations are physical acts including multiple amputations and forced auto-cannibalism; Izzy still bears the scar from his suicide attempt following the final and most severe amputation. Izzy gives a high-quality apology for his mean words (“namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend,” “I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward better watch his step.”) Ed doesn’t apologize for choking Izzy, for cutting off his toes and feeding them to him, for shooting him or for goading him into suicide; he certainly doesn’t apologize for lying to him back in S1 about Stede. As we all know, while Izzy dies, Ed doesn’t apologize at all. Izzy gets only one apology from Ed in S2. It’s a low-quality apology vaguely referencing Izzy’s leg, without taking responsibility for it. Ed’s apology is the same distant statement of pity that we might hear from Lucius or Black Pete upon noticing that Izzy is disabled. “Sorry about your leg” — not as in “I’m sorry for what I did,” but as in, “Wow, it sucks that that happened to you. And it has nothing to do with me.”

It’s made worse by the fact that Ed can’t just apologize to Izzy. It’s Izzy who approaches Ed, awkwardly extending the olive branch. Ed rebukes Izzy for avoiding him and makes a judgmental comment about Izzy’s recent uptick in drinking, then seeks out Izzy’s reassurance/comfort (“It feels like a storm’s coming…”). Izzy refuses to give Ed the comfort he seeks, and it’s clear that this bothers Ed; it’s a departure from their usual dynamic.

Ed has to work up to an apology over the course of a brief conversation where the first thing he does is subtly reprimands Izzy for avoiding him. Ed’s priority is not to say he’s sorry; it’s to make sure Izzy knows Ed is upset about the silent treatment and then to seek comfort for Ed’s own emotional turmoil. Contrast this with both Izzy’s apologies: in S1, when Ed approaches him, Izzy squares his shoulders and apologizes right away. There’s no waffling about it; it’s clearly been weighing on his mind, and he needs to say he’s sorry before the conversation veers elsewhere. In S2, Izzy is literally dying; he asks Ed to stay with him, and then launches directly into his apology. There are no insults; there’s no cattiness; he doesn’t try to make Ed feel bad for being hurt.

Conclusion:

There’s a world of difference between Izzy’s apologies and Ed’s. The first difference is in the quality. The second difference is in how the narrative treats them. Ed’s low-quality apologies are rewarded. Izzy’s higher-quality apologies are punished with banishment and death.