#this is so good i'm cryyyy

[spittingspite]

I'm still shaking I can't believe this I just can't believe it. God after all these years. I've been watching people's reactions on YouTube for at least an hour I'm so jealous of everyone who got to see the reveal live on stream. I cannot believe my eyes I keep expecting to wake up because this is a dream come true for me. I've told just about everyone I know. Everyone who definitely does not give a shit. And it's not enough it's not enough I need to tell the whole world about it I need one million videos of people whose reaction to the trailer is just screams. God I have stuff to do but all I want is to go home right now and play okami I want to watch one thousand streamers and let's players play okami I need an okami drug injected directly into my bloodstream no one will ever know how much this means to me I'm sick I'm hysterical I'm going to dig to the centre of the earth I will never be normal again knowing a sequel for okami is in the works

[karmaajr]

in the car rn right after my sister had another fucking breakdown (shes a bit mad lol) n tried to beat the shit outta me LOLLLL 😭😭✨️✨️

[wimbledonstrawberry]

*sobs* this is really hard to watch

[cult-of-the-eye]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHF

[koka-mi]

I had a dream about me being in a collab cover with some guy from good omens and two other ppl xD we sang overmaster from idolmaster and I was pretty young (around the time I started covers sooo 11-12??)

Weird tho idk anything about good omens I've never watched the show nor do I plan to—at least the cover got popular bcz the guy from good omens was in it BAHAHEJA

[aromanticasterisms]

the anecdotes are very fun!! i like seeing characters out in the wild :] but. feels like when everyone asks for "characters in the open world" this is not really what they had in mind

[evidenceof]

and roll credits for webgott valentine's week! long-ish post but i don't think it can be anything but saur...

haguenau is for lovers was me deciding to shoot for the moon after 1) meg wondered out loud about a webgott week (after injecting webgott into my brain), 2) i zoomed in on lieb reading sunday comics, feverishly tore through the stars and stripes archive only to realize that easy was in haguenau during valentine's week 3) caoimhe said, "haguenau is for lovers" and it sticking into my brain permanently.

that is to say, i am so very lucky to be friends with people whose thoughts are so infectious and always brilliant. would like to take this time to thank the people who held my sweaty hand all throughout my first stab at organizing a fan event.

tierney @kbsd my beloved!! thank you for literally putting up with my anxiety through all this and for reading (and proofreading) walls of text on gdocs to make sure i still sounded sane. putting up with wips for queueing and scheduling posts when i'm asleep even if you've had a Long Day of Moving houses. i would literally be in the trenches without you. thank you for never doubting me and for genuinely matching my (control) freak.

meg @ww2yaoi head webgott babe (let's all acknowledge that) for the really kind messages. they helped me more than you'd know!! licherally hilf wouldnt even be alive if i hadn't seen you post theee Webgott Wednesday Locket way back last year, and if you hadn't written lippenstift, down in the valley, no ghost looms (tbh all ur webgott) and made me spiral into this for good.

caoimhe @randlemartin. this'll sound weird but just trust ok. thank you for writing both text posts and fic that compel me to no end. the germ of the idea wouldn't have grown into anything good without it being fattened by your thoughts and words!! haguenau is for lovers <3 ik it isn't webgott, but reading delichon while prepping for this over the holidays kept me going fr.

karina @markedfordead and julia @joe-fuckingtwice-toye. your tags and everything you made throughout the event made me wanna cryyyy. they were all so sweet and genuinely, when i'd be fidgeting over the event day ahead, seeing that you two took the time to make something so lovely nearly every single day literally pacified the gnawing self-doubt hahaha thank you i mean it so much.

to everyone who participated!! wrote fics and drabbles, made web weaves, beautiful art that made me want to chew my screen because of how beautiful they all are, thank you so much!!!!!!! to everyone who rb-ed and liked, made valentines, my heart feels a lot bigger thanks to all of you.

shoutout to my laptop, photoshop, my secondhand wacom tablet that's been roi-ed the fuck out since november, my two hands, and futura condensed (1940s print would be NOTHING without you). thank god none of them decided to give up on me during event prep and proper. (and to my bubs who had to literally listen to me scream and yap about this from beginning to end. you are a saint. idk how i got so lucky to be with someone who supports my being a fujo wife with dead ww2 vets)

really wanted to keep my modding this on the down low, largely cos idk!! i just wanted the focus to be on webgott and the event, but also bc i knew this whole thing couldn't have come together because of a singular person, or even moreso, a singular interpretation of the ship. so i felt the distance was necessary. though i am proud, in a small way (im allowing myself a lil' bit of it), of being able to create a bunch of things for a pair i've fallen in love with, and for a group of people who hold so much affection for them.

all that to say! im glad to have made things with love, and (tw: cheesy as fuck) im only really able to do that bc im surrounded by people who love so beautifully. thank you all from da bottom of mi heart. if u read up until here. thank you for that too. ♡

♡ happy webgott wednesday. haguenau will always be for lovers. ♡

sorry this is literally too many scrolls down lmfao

[blackidyll]

@qserasera I AM HERE TO RAMBLE!!!!!!!!

first prefacing this by saying MASSIVE 2.2 TRAILBLAZE QUEST SPOILERS! in case anyone random is reading this! but also i played it over like 9 days just chipping at the quest in bits and pieces so my memory might not be the best (i wish we could replay quests! there was so much going on!!)

I have two big thoughts about jingheng/hengjing this patch

1 - dan heng is just constantly itching to use that jade abacus huh. first, he uses it to prove a point with boothill. then in the first part of the quest, he actually does use it (with a sweet astral express family moment, saying that he's willing to use this once-in-a-lifetime item because his companions are once-in-a-life-time people who are important to him). then when he is awoken from the Order's Dream and told that they need A Lot of Other People to introduce chaos into the harmony/order of the dreamers, he goes -obviously it means we have to call in the luofu!!-

like, i cannot get over the fact that he was just willing to drag the entire luofu's army into this thing with penacony. everyone else has to talk him out of it? dh without the astral express family holding him back just goes feral? on the one hand it's endearing that his first thought is always to turn to jing yuan for help, but also this reinforces something he has in common with dan feng, and it's that they make Very Extreme and Illogical Decisions when their friends are threatened. like, it's funny from our perspective but had he really used the jade abacus, i don't doubt that jy would honour his promise. he would bring the luofu's armies to penanony. and what would happen if they all get absorbed into Ena the Order's dream? it's clear that brute strength alone (other than acheron's nihility) cannot break the dream (even welt who has a herscherr core and trailblazer themselves with a stellaron couldn't do it on their own), like there's no logical reason to expose so many other people to Ena's influence when the chances of them getting trapped is so high.

i enjoy all the memes about dh and the jade abacus but i like digging into the implications behind his thought process more ヾ(•ω•`)o

2 - the whole sequence with dhil and jy fighting together back-to-back is entirely a dream. this is really funny to me. like at first i was a bit disappointed that it wasn't real, but like. outside the game, someone at Hoyoverse decided that they HAD to bring jing yuan into the story. they couldn't go two patches without giving him an amazing animated cutscene. they couldn't logically write jy going to to the charmony festival, so they decided to port him there in a dream instead. someone at in charge at HYV ships jhj and i love it.

inside the game... it's never clear whose dream we're experiencing during that first fight with sunday. is it trailblazer's? because that means in their eyes jy and dhil are a unit that cannot be separated. (like, they could have just dreamed dh coming to the rescue alone, clearly the azure dragon was enough to smash into sunday's harmonious choir). is it dan heng's dream? even more amazing, he dreams of saving his astral express friends fighting back to back and absolutely in synch with jing yuan.

(is it just sunday/ena subliminally pulling things from people's mind to manifest the most ideal dream? which means most of the astral express believed dhil and jy to be the most ideal rescue team for it to be the dream that is created. and also they believed jy to be the best person to mediate between the IPC and penacony? they really admire jing yuan, huh).

--

anyway. i remember thinking how weird jing yuan's presence in the quest was, like it felt like someone high up in the HYV team wanted it so the writers were forced to write him in... and then we get that ending credits and black swan telling us the story as we fall asleep........... and then, the twist! all my weird instincts were RIGHT... this trailblaze quest was a trip.

PS: i love dan heng and boothill's friendship, they are hilarious. i want boothill to meet jing yuan so badly. i just think their dynamic could go in so many directions, also with boothill being a galaxy ranger which jing yuan had wished he could be so he could travel the stars and help people on the way... many things to chew on here!

i kno they likely didn't mean to frame it this way, but i loveee the cdrama overtones of 'are u threatening us? my boyfriend has status and power backing him, and gave us this specific seal to use if we ever need to call on him. do Not test me.'

[ariart0]

Hello!!! Well first off I just want to say, your art- holy. Shit. It’s AMAZING. Seriously, I could genuinely gush about it. The proportions!? The stylization!? The colors!? THE POSING!? UGH. So. Damn. Good. Especially the comic you did a while back, “Hospital Visit,” DUDE. I keep coming back to that one. The expressions were so damn visceral. How Katsuki looks down, not expecting Izuku to reciprocate, The shock and hope and love when Izuku DOES kiss him. BRO. SO GOOD.

Anyways, if you were ever looking for a rather niche sport with some awesome aesthetics, I do Cowboy Mounted Shooting. I think it’d make an awesome AU if you were down for it. Anyways, love from Texas!!! 🤠

You're making me cryyyy!!! thank you so much I'm really happy that you liked the comic!

Side note: I'm also coming up with a new one slowly 👀

And WOAH that's such an amazing idea! And such a cool sport anon! Horses and Western are my all-time fav things so it's probably a sign to draw something in this setting finally! And combine it with bkdk ? Perfect ✨ 🤠

[hxgrl]

I can't believe I saw red vox live I'm gonna cryyyy 😭😭😭😭😭 they were so good

Shoutout to bill telling Vinny he "drank that water reeeeeealll pretty" and Vinny being like bro. what

[z0mbieparty]

Hey! you probably don't know who I am lol. But I'm here to say that your art is wonderful! one of the prettiest on tumblr (I'm usually I'm shy to talk to famous people but I'm here heh). So I came here for that reason heh anyway, have a good day/afternoon/night ♡

Ps: You know...your Oc is very similar to mine, so I made this :3

HAHA OH MY GOSH HII!! ☆☆ I'VE SEEN YOU AROUND HELLOO! Thank you so much, oh my gosh aww... I'm like totally not famous but I'm so flattered.. I get shy when talking to people tho so I completely understand <3 BUT PDFPDFSP HAHA I LOVE THIS!! I saw this when I got home from a late shift yesterday so I was too eepy to draw smth in return.. BUT I DREW SMTH AS SOON AS I GOT UP!! SO!! Slaps art in ur face and skitters away.. (SORRY IF IT'S KIND OF BLEH I GOTTA GET READY FOR WORK IN 30 MINS CRYYYY) Distant cousins 4 life..

[sombra7567]

ASMR Rant pt. 4: Thoughts after binging FernVA

First ~ Previous ~ Next

Guess who's back~

Back again~

... No, not you V, get out of here-

FernVA: Ok I don't know what counts as "underrated" in this community- BUT FERN IS UNDERRATED CUZ WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT-

Mental state: @itzscribz Scribz, thank you Scribz, Scribz you're amazing, thank you for the suggestion-

Favorite audio: Break of Dawn, Reuniting with a Forest Demon

Audio I thought I'd dislike but ended up loving: Reuniting with a Forest Demon (I'M GOING TO CRYYYY)

Random thoughts:

*searches up Fern's channel* *sees how many videos are on it* *takes deep breath* "Ok we're not gonna get attached, we're going to enjoy their work but we are NOT going to get attached like we did with the others-"

Once again, starting with the oneshots- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S AN SCP AUDIO ON HERE-

The Skyrim readings were lovelyyyyyyyyy, the narration was perfect... *staring at the screen after Tamriel Tales* OK THAT WAS AMAZING WOWWWWW- bro that's like one of the stories I'd read when I was younger!

The forest demon is about to make me sob on campus HAVE MERCY ON MY POOR HEART OMG-

Ok, Break of Dawn time, a lot of people like this I think...

So it's related to one of Good Boy's series so I should probably get into his channel (for some reason I am nervous to start watching his audios, I don't know why, just something about the 72 horses XD)

OK SO FAR EVERYONE'S REALLY CUTE, I LIKE THEM.

This is seriously the type of sci-fi story I adore-

I GOT ATTACHED, GOSH FREAKING DARN ITTTTTTTTT-

I really like how Fern's voice sounds... gentle at times, soothing, which makes it all the more intimidating when listening to the SCP audios- and then YARGWYNNNNNNNN, listen I would absolutely join that crew in a heartbeat, they all sound so cool-

[livelaughlovesubs]

If a higher power didn't want me to lovingly babygirlifying objectifying men then why make all these men so fuckable breedable and kissable and wifeable???? 🤔 The math ain't mathing

If I'm not supposed to do all this then why does he look so pretty on my strap???

Why does he look so cute during aftercare?

I don't care if he's some big strong intimidating warrior/general/assassin/etc because in the bedroom he's the goodest boy and getting pampered and not allowed to have a coherent thought in his head for a few hours 😤 no thoughts, only thots

Then he's getting spoiled and pampered and praised for being so good ong

-🐇(I'm sorry the voices won😔 I love ruining powerful men, they deserve a little treat for being responsible good boys aka a blowout ba-)

KAISJJAHAI THATS SO CUTEEEE I love love looooveeee rendering men to nothing but incoherent babbles

Pls this is giving Mydei URGHHHH I NEED THAT MAN CARNALLY I love shy and blushy guys so much, I wanna see em’ cryyyy I’m seriously suffering because the desire is so strong wtffff

How I’d love to take care of someone like that <33

[hms-tardimpala]

So, about last night's promo

I've been getting my literary analysis groove back lately so I'm gonna sit down and rewatch last night's CM Punk and Seth Rollins promo on Raw and dissect it here. Because I'm conflicted. This is gonna be long.

Context: been watching wrestling for 6 months, Punk's my favorite wrestler, I've learned all I easily could about his career, but I'm not the scholar many older fans here are. I know the circumstances around his WWE and AEW departures but I wasn't there then to gauge the public mood.

So far, I've been unconvinced by this feud, I think Seth's arguments aren't solid enough for the level of hatred on display, and I think Punk has forked no lightning with his promos. Like, three weeks ago he was saying he didn't give a rat's ass about Seth, and it made sense because it was in the continuity of everything he's said since his return (here to make money, after a title and WM main event so not interested in a guy that lost his title, focused on the future, etc). So I'm struggling to believe that he's become interested so quickly. That's where I stand.

Now, the promo.

As much as I love Seth's energy and his command of the crowd, I don't get the "revolutionary" thing. He's painted as the company man in this feud, how on earth would he be that and a revolutionary? Why this talk of revolution? I'm just accepting that it had sense when he got the nickname and I just wasn't there to see it.

"The biggest fight in our sport, ten years in the making"

It feels four weeks in the making, is one of my issues here.

Seth saying that he's gonna be here the next monday and the one after that etc, is good. It's fair game to take a shot at Punk for being a part-timer, it's a callback to Punk's own issues with WWE in the 2010s. It would be hypocritical not to address it.

"He's gonna cryyyy about it, he's gonna whiiiiine about it"

I just want to point out that I love his delivery there. Seth does have an obnoxious whiny voice, but he knows how to use it ^^

I like that Punk is straining kayfabe by calling Seth an industry plant. It's good to push on the fourth wall from time to time.

It's clever of them to blame Vince, and I didn't think they would do it as much. You can't really show the full importance of CM Punk if you don't get into the reasons why he didn't fit the WWE mold back then, what held him back, and how he changed the culture (even indirectly) when he left. CM Punk without his opposition to Vince McMahon (and the WWE's past way of working) is not the controversial legend they've been presenting him as since his return. So, good. And it feels in character for him to see Vince (and the old WWE) in Rollins and to dislike him for that.

"I haven't seen The Man around these parts in quite some time. Did she take her ball and go home too?"

I actually don't have a problem with that, because we've seen the netflix trailers, and we know Becky's coming back. So she'll be able to defend herself, give Punk a piece of her mind and tell him a public (and deserved) fuck you. It's not classy, but this is wrestling. Okay so far.

"In reality, you just want to cry because I abandoned you."

It starts going wrong here for me. They were going somewhere interesting with Seth and Punk's different professional philosophies here, they were grounding their feud in something real and believable. And now they're going back to this big brother/little brother thing that looks plain childish. Did they really have a big and little brother vibe back in the day? One that was visible to the audience? Or was it a backstage mentorship that the audience didn't know about? If it's the last one, this feels like an excuse invented a few weeks ago to bolster a feud they don't want to explain the real roots of.

"We both made our choices. We both made our decisions. I have no regrets."

That sounds like the reasonable Punk from a few weeks ago, who said he didn't think about Seth and was turned toward the future. Which is good for continuity and characterization, but in contrast, because Punk sounds so reasonable, it makes Seth's already feeble arguments look even weaker. It makes him look like a child kicking a wall during a tantrum. It's not good stake-building if Punk doesn't have a very personal reason to care about this feud ("that dude won't leave me alone" is not a good reason. With Drew, there was insult and injury.).

The part when Punk asks about Seth's injuries and Seth assures him he's recovered is good. It's good old taunting of your wrestling opponent. I think Seth should have asked about Punk's arm in return, hell, he could have made a dig about his age, even!

"How's your pride, because you didn't get a modicum of revenge on [Bronson Reed] and you saw me break his ankle at War Games?"

YES! Wrestling's revisionist history! The floor broke Bron's ankle, pookie, but by all means, take the credit lol

"Self-proclaimed martyr? You're damn right."

Attracting attention again to the fact that Seth is victimising himself and his casus belli is weak. Which of course is normal for the enemy to do. But the casus belli is weak in this case, which means the writing is weak, and they're pointing at the loophole again and again 😬

(Personal preference, but I think Punk making so many references to his money-making doesn't sound very...punk. I'm not saying he should pretend he doesn't care, he's literally at work, but his early identity was a straightedge punk rock rebel one and that's what I preferred.)

I like that Seth is calling the "little brother" thing crap, because it is! And I thought he was about to say "this is not what this is about" and get on to the real issues. But...

"My wife, she's taking a break to raise a kid. I know you don't know what that's like."

This, I HATE. Let me say something quickly: I have no doubt they went over this and made sure they were comfortable with what they were going to throw at each other. I have no doubt Phil will have ran something that potentially hurtful by AJ to make sure she was okay with it being said on TV.

THAT BEING SAID. I think this crosses a line (a kayfabe one). It's okay to make a remark about Becky, because she'll be back on screen sooner or later, she can hit back. But when you mention a guy's lack of children (like it is something to be critiqued), you automatically mention his wife's lack of children, and AJ is not here to tell Seth to go fuck himself. In real life, the couple is no doubt comfortable with this being said on TV. But in kayfabe, Seth Rollins just made a dig at CM Punk for something that, for all he kayfably knows, could be a deep wound for him and his wife. There is no way this doesn't paint him as an abject heel in this day and age (and I thought this was supposed to be a "both sides have a point" feud).

Also, I've seen Punk's reaction to being asked about having children in one interview, and it's been enough for me to wish he'll never be asked again. I don't know if there's something there, and it's none of my business. Let's just say I fucking hated that part of the promo.

"You wanted this place to die with the echos of the 'CM Punk' chants. You went on your buddy's podcast, tried to tear this place down. When that didn't work, you took every single shot you could to try to kill this place, and you still couldn't do it."

Good: injecting some reality into it by mentioning the podcast. Bad: pretending Punk is some kind of boogeyman, a giant capable of tearing WWE down by words alone, or that he would try. Nobody buys that, Seth. @d-lanx said that Seth is acting like a fan just after Punk left WWE, and I agree. Public opinion seems to have shifted since then, and it seems like people agree that Punk was mistreated to some extent and was right to blow off some steam (especially since the truth about Vince's actions and his methods has been revealed). So once again, Seth sounds like he's exaggerating something everybody is at peace with today.

"And then you took a big chunk of change to go join the competition. How'd that work out for you?"

GOOD. Get him on that, bring out the dirty laundry! It's a low blow, but it's within the wrestling sphere, it's (from Seth's stated position) a legitimate argument. And it's not whining!

"And we won the war. And you wanna come back in here and wave the flag with us? No way!"

Okay, good way for this to go. Call him an hypocrite. It would make sense. This is not childish, it's a legitimate grievance. The revolution and war allegory is stupid, but "I worked hard for something and now a guy who hasn't contributed wants to enjoy the spoils" is a reasonable and relatable argument. But then he goes with the big brother thing again, and it doesn't sound mature anymore.

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me."

Utilizing Punk's age and his career, his coming from the indies and everything is good. That's how you use an older wrestler.

"I loved the place I worked, I just hated the guy in charge. And he loved you."

This is also a sound argument. It's an emotional one, but it's not about Punk's ego (he's said that Seth can't threaten that anyway). "This is the guy my shitty boss held in high regard so I don't trust him at all and profoundly dislike him by instinct" is a reasonable and relatable position to have. It's his turn to have a point now. Balance!

"And in situations where you should have my back, all you did was shoot arrows in it."

Aaaand back to vaguing. They imply stuff, but they don't clearly say what happened, so it doesn't work as well as it could. And the arrows allegory was good, but I think he drags it out after that.

"And then I leave, and lo and behold, he shows his true colors and he stabs Roman Reigns in the back, and now he's dressed like an idiot, trying to play victim in a situation that he created."

Vaguing: bad. Referencing elements from the kayfabe canon: good. But also, they're pointing at the weak writing again. There's a big hole in this story, and it's called "We can't use Seth's real problems with Punk (if they exist) to make a work out of that because it's too sensitive and we don't want either of them to be presented as an actual real life bad guy so we give Seth a weak token excuse to go after Punk in this feud and now he looks like he's playing the victim".

"[...] they chanted, mostly during your television time, my name."

This! Seth could have used this! Saying "I'm sick of hearing your name, it hasn't been relevant in 10 years and never will be again" would make him sound less stupid than "You ghosted me and tried to destroy this billion dollar company with a podcast". I would understand him for being mad about Punk's name being chanted during his matches for years. I would be with him!

Arrow throwers are archers, if I may be petty.

"[...] with a fistful of arrows, and I'm going to jam them down your corporate throat."

Visceral, sexual, love it. Love it. Seth misses an occasion to point out that Punk's become quite corporate himself here, in my opinion.

Seth's cancer allegory is distateful, but it works, and I like it because he's finally saying what should come easily when you're up against a guy who came out of retirement: you're not relevant anymore, so much so that you've grown parasitic and should be on your way out already. It's nice (well, it isn't, but you see what I mean. If anyone is still reading).

What I haven't said up to this point is how well acted and delievered this is. Punk glides through this as is his habit, but Seth really impressed me, he's just as good. Really nothing to criticize here.

This ends with Seth's music, and if he has the last word, I don't believe he's the victor in this. I feel like this is supposed to be an even fight, like they've both got points and nobody is right or wrong, but the weakness in writing on the side of Seth makes that impossible. Punk didn't only make good points, but he made more than Seth throughout this feud.

In conclusion: very good promo work, a little marred by the weak writing of this feud that still feels baseless and rushed to me. I could write something more coherent and comprehensive for this conclusion but this took me hours to write, I still haven't seen the rest of Raw, and I need to switch my brain off again for a few hours.

Also: none of this is hate. They both did a great job last night.

[veilkeeper]

So I wanted to let you know that I finally got around to reading Dear Alistair between tasks at work last night to keep myself awake (have really been in an aliwarden mood recently) and just so you know, that very last letter from Ren at the end of the fic made me cryyyy. (In a good way, it just really tugged at my heart after the whole thing.) I'm not entirely sure What to say about the fic other than the fact that I really loved it. I liked Ren in general, he seems like a very interesting character and I think the way you wrote his particular hangups over the Circle upbringing and whatnot were really well done. His stubbornness to let himself actually have something good with Alistair got to me and it was very rewarding to see him get to a point of accepting what he actually Wanted for himself and then subsequently not giving up until he knew he could get it back again. I'm also someone who writes blood magic as a way of leaning into self harm territory for my own warden too and I like going into the consequences of the long term use of it as well, and I felt like you wrote it both realistically and sensitively here. It's something the games don't always go into beyond the whole "leaving you open to possession" stuff so I like seeing people dive into the other aspects, I find it interesting. Overall I just Really liked the whole thing tbh, I will be adding to my little growing list of fics that I enjoy to reread ~

kieeeeffffff i'm so glad you liked it!!! that fic is kinda like my baby and ren is so near and dear to my heart (even though i bully him relentlessly) so i'm always very !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when people like it.

dear alistair is an aliwarden fic but more than that it's a character study of my own guy, so i know there's not a.... terribly large audience for it, and i'm so grateful that people have given it a chance and like what i did with it!!

[dreambunnynotes]

daily reflection: nov. 16th ❤︎

good morning lovely friends! here is what i accomplished and what i could have improved today, to hold myself accountable. it was really effective for me to know that i had posted my goals list on tumblr yesterday where others could see it; whenever i felt like giving in to my adhd brain that tells me that tasks are to be feared, i would simply remember that i had kind folks online who were interested in seeing me succeed hehe, it helped me so much! here is my first day ❤︎

accomplishments:

i completed all of my cleaning goals and more! it turned into a deeper clean than i thought it would be which felt really nice (and is usually how it goes once i get cleaning). it's so lovely to be able to start fresh with a clean working and sleeping space; it's so much easier to feel inspired, be productive, and take care of yourself when your environment is as ready for you as you are for it!

i wasn't going to complete all of my texting and calling tasks, BUT I DID! these types of tasks are the hardest for me to get done because i have pretty intense social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and communicating with others both online and offline takes a lot of mental preparation and energy for me. but i did it, and i am so, so proud of myself! in fact...

self-compassion:

not only did i accomplish my original communication goals, i also ended up replying to two friends i hadn't seen in a long time, even though i was anxious! both of them were at my sister's show last night and i was so surprised to see them and a couple of other friends that i had to go have a bathroom cry from the anxiety lol. i had so many emotions coming up; the first was sadness and shame seeing that they had all come in a group together and that i wasn't with them. i joined them two seconds after i saw everyone, but the sadness was still there because i was positive they would have invited me into the group earlier if i had been less isolated this last year, which is where the guilt came in. i realized i had been isolating from my friends for so long out of fear that i wasn't wanted, didn't provide anything to them, and that maybe i didn't have people i liked being around after all, but that is so, so far from the truth; i do have friends who love me and who i love, and all of them were so loving, so kind, and actually sent me messages after the show telling me how much they loved me and how happy they were to see me! it made me cryyyy and feel so many feelings. i have plans to see them next week, and i actually feel like i'm overcoming my isolation era at long last; i'm really proud of myself for having self-compassion and using tools i've learned in therapy to better my life! :')

my next step is to learn more about and overcome this shame i have around letting my friends love me for who i am; the only way to learn more about it is to actually make plans to see friends and be vulnerable; wish me luck 😭💗

improvements to make:

as for my other tasks; i cleaned out one of my emails, but i have so many email accounts that it felt a little bit lacklustre to call that an accomplishment. today i'd like to break down how big the task of consolidating my digital life will actually be so that i can take measurable and consistent steps towards completing my goal (writing that sentence is baffling me right now - bunny from a few days ago never would have realized how much writing out her goals could help her in being less afraid of them! this feels like a huge accomplishment for my adhd brain!)

today felt like a really successful day, and i'm super proud of myself! this was only the beginning of what i actually want to accomplish in a day, but it was such a great way to try it out. i'm excited to see where this journey takes me and how these daily checklists and reflections will affect my productivity; they already have helped so much! if you've made it to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read about my day, it means so much to me! lets try our best to have another successful day! ❤︎