#this is so bad but i'm brain dead

[souvenir116]

Get yourself a man that can do both <3

+

[everestgale]

Why?

[This is a direct continuation of my half-Opportunist angst half-Skeptunist comic from February "It was in your nature," it takes place right as the comic is ending. This is your spoiler warning! Also it's a lot shorter than my last writing attempt, just under 1000 words (rather than 4000 it was last time-)]

[If I can't finish making drawings for my favorite ship, I will write them instead. Beaming these birds, they won't leave me alone (T v T)]

[Content warnings: blood, dead body]

[Hope you enjoy!]

_________________________________________

So why did you–

Opportunist slid off onto his knees, the blade uselessly clattering beside him. He dragged his right hand and smeared a dark stain across the ground beneath; copper scent lingered in the back of his throat. His eyes froze in a dazed, petrified expression, locked onto the viscous pool of crimson. 

Why?

The question lingered, ringing endlessly in Opportunist’s head. His own inner voice sounded foreign, as though someone else from deep beneath kept asking why. That question would never have a clear answer now. How ironic, Opportunist thought, he would’ve hated that.

He will never hate anything again.

He will never ask anything again, either.

Opportunist winced, tasting the bile in his mouth. He tried to lift his body and stand up, but he staggered and tripped forward, his elbows now deep in blood. The deep indigo cloak loomed before his eyes, drenched and stained red. Opportunist tried to push himself away but lacked the strength–

Like always.

The stray thought got caught in Opportunist’s mind. He wasn’t always like this, no, he couldn’t be, he wasn’t weak, he was a sensible person looking out for himself, he had to–

Why?

A vision flashed before Opportunist; he suddenly sat at the kitchen table, waving a deck of cards in his hands at Skeptic. He was back at the card game night, the same night that Skeptic had ambushed him, tried to weasel his way into “cracking” Opportunist open like one of his many unsolved cases. He knew that Skeptic had tried to get close to him for a while, extensively studying his habits and mannerisms, but he couldn’t get a solid reason why. There had to be a reason Skeptic tried to get close to him… so naturally, what else would it be other than Skeptic’s vain attempts to find his weakness, to gain an advantage over him, to use it and abuse it against him–

Why?

Why would it be anything else?

Why?

Because–

Why?

…

Opportunist wasn’t sure anymore.

The very fiber of his being screamed at this creeping doubt; you fool, it thrashed in Opportunist's mind, he was a smart one, he knew too much, he planned to betray you. Better him than you.

As that thought crossed his mind, Opportunist's gaze focused on the body in front of him. For the briefest of moments, he saw blood-soaked brown feathers, rather than indigo, his body growing colder. He could hear a whistle; the sound of metal hitting flesh rang through the air, just as the sharp pain pierced down his back. That's what would happen, his very instinct whispered in his ears, better him than you–

Why?

The wretched question repeated itself, and another sharp pain arose, but this time, it was in Opportunist's heart.

If Skeptic truly schemed against him, wanted to gain the upper hand over him, tried to gain his trust to betray and backstab him later–

Why didn't you fight back?

Tears pooled in the corners of Opportunist's eyes; he squeezed them shut before his hands instinctively reached forward and grabbed Skeptic's lifeless body by the cloak. He brought it closer, acting on nothing but pure impulse and regret, and buried his face in one of Skeptic's wings, desperately clinging onto his dead flockmate.

Why did you let me kill you?

He let out a couple of quiet sobs, muffled by the soft flight feathers, still warm and comforting like they always were, almost like they belonged to someone living.

Opportunist could never let himself completely relax when he was with other people, he was so sure of it. And yet one gentle, fuzzy memory returned and lulled him out of this false confidence.

A nightmare. One brightly lit, stifling torch, surrounded by eternal, biting cold. He, no, everyone was supposed to celebrate its kind, blazing warmth… when it was the very thing that smothered life out of the air. Just as he was about to suffocate, Opportunist woke up with a shriek, shaking and desperately gasping. Everything afterwards was a blur to him, Opportunist could not recall what really happened that night… except, he distinctly remembered soft indigo wings, gently wrapping him in a warm embrace. He remembered relaxing into them, clinging to them, before drifting back to sleep. He remembered a gruff, but caring voice whispering something; he could not make out the words, but he knew they were tender… and honest.

He felt comfortable. 

The most comfortable he had ever felt in his entire life.

And yet Opportunist could not find the strength to trust him.

So why did you believe in me?

Was it for the same reason that Opportunist's heart broke as the blade hit Skeptic's back?

…

No.

No.

No, no, no, Skeptic, you fool, you– Opportunist could not let that thought linger for too long, for if it did, then that means…

Then that means Skeptic–

No.

loved–

No.

Opportunist jolted away from the lifeless body. 

No. 

He wiped the blood off his hands before brushing off the leftover tears. He took a shallow, ragged breath before he lifted his own body off the ground, the smallest movements requiring sustained effort. His heart ached as his wobbly legs moved him away from the pool of blood beneath his talons. But he couldn't let himself–

No.

Opportunist knew he wasn't safe right now. With Skeptic gone, the flock surely would erupt into chaos. And several of them would surely suspect Opportunist–

Luckily, he had a plan.

Whatever other thoughts or feelings or regrets wanted to surface, Opportunist buried them deep beneath. He had to keep going; he had to come out on top; he had to ensure his safety.

Better them than you.

It was in his nature.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Bad keeps corruption in his back pocket the same way someone keeps a razor blade. "just in case"

[dumvixerum]

i loved this game ughhugh

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3

[once-more-with-anxiety]

the urge to draw fanart for every fandom ever is so strong but unfortunately I am a terrible artist

[outlying-hyppocrate]

i have officially returned. ask me anything.

[nonconstories]

Being a smut peddler who also writes non-smut can be...weird... sometimes. Cuz like. I'm trying to write this NON SMUTTY BOOK that has ZERO SEXY INCEST and STILL my fucking lizard brain is like "Make her fuck her adopted dad figure. Come on. He's evil. She's evil. They are bound together by prophecy. He's hot. She's naive and trying to grow up too fast. Do it. Do it. Do it (make them do it)--"

And I'm spraying it with water going "THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME"

[voidsparkk]

showdown at the secret spaceship hideout is so silly i love dr two-brains he's so... guy who's a mouse voice: it's like a maze in here!!!

the sparkle in his eye and his smile when he reminisces being steven boxleitner was so cute. look at him you just KNOW that was steven poking through there!! he's so proud of wordgirl's achievements and how she's learned so much from his book!

"what kind of goofball would write-" YOU!!! YOU FORGET YOURSELF!!!!

[yourwitchjay]

"I need him carnally" I saw, looking at the (CHARACTER VERSON) of a minecraft youtuber

[saveadancejustforyou]

I felt like the channeling stuff wasn't real. I was always told you're never really in contact with the dead. It's a demon telling you what you want to hear.

So when that anon said she channeled a living person, aka Aaron. I was super lost. Like girl no you didn't and im starting to feel like we're stepping into Ouija board territory.

You wont catch my Christian ass fucking with that shit. I know you're probably not Christian but you get what I'm trying to say. Everyone went along with it. I thought everybody was joking. Now i dont know, i thought we was playing along with the shit like its fanfiction.

Sorry for all this junk I sent. But I had to say something once you pointed it out.

I respect your perspective although mine comes from a different place

[elfrootbong]

[emerges from a month long fugue state in which i played an entire campaign of bg3 and wrote a ton of shit about it only to pivot immediately back to my dragon age project]

so i've been trying to figure out ways to make inquisition a tolerable experience (specifically through the kind of character i want to play and how they engage with the narrative) ("why are you playing inq if you hate it" i'm on a lore dive and the wiki is lacking. this is fun for me <-masochism) and i've tried a few different approaches but i'm still attached enough to my original "canon" inquisitor that i think i can swing this while 1) keeping him around in the worldstate and 2) changing him in ways that both fit the narrative better and make him more interesting than what i'd originally tried to cobble together with my piddling lore knowledge (at the time). i'm actually playing a different character right now so i can collect relevant info (will explain below) but if i can slog through two playthroughs i think i can frankenstein this into something compelling

so the idea is (cw for mentions of fantastic racism, he's dalish it comes with the territory):

context first: in the OG playthrough he was a warrior (more tolerable to play on xbox than pc, i've found) so the original idea was that he was sent by the clan to collect intel because he's a bit plain in the face and shaped like a fridge (and visibly dalish) so people make assumptions about his intelligence and political literacy etc, thus being less careful with what they say around him. in reality he's very sharp and well read and well suited to politics, so he knows how to blend in and how/where to listen to collect the good info. he was practically made for this shit. he'd be the perfect fit for the kind of role he gets thrust into if not for the andrastian awkwardness. this is relevant later

so the most major change is that i'm removing the lore of him being born and raised dalish (especially cause i'm going that route with nem/rook already) and making him an escaped circle mage instead (far prior to the rebellion), probably from ostwick for obvious reasons. he was not a mage of any talent and couldn't cast his way out of a wet paper bag, but he had some Opinions, so he was slated to be made tranquil to be made "useful" (ostensibly for safety reasons but he's like. meek as a lamb. so that's horseshit) thus spurring on his escape. was probably aged like ~16 or so when he got out.

stumbles half dead into a dalish scouting party with a pair of templars on his heels and they helped him kill his pursuers and destroy the phylactery. baby's first kill etc. it's a bit gruesome, he takes it poorly, vows never to kill with his magic again. they train him with the blade instead once he's accepted into the clan, which he's a bit more comfortable with but it's more of a routine/discipline/self defense thing for him. takes the vallaslin of ghilan'nain when he's a bit older (which ends up coming with some baggage later as you can imagine lol) and fully converts to the dalish faith. fits in really well with his gentle/curious temperament. so on and so forth.

anyway the point is they send him specifically to the conclave because he has insider knowledge of mage politics and is smart enough to know what to look out for. he's also quite good at negotiation and bluffing and keeps his head under pressure, so that helps.

HE EXTREMELY DOES NOT TELL HIS CAPTORS ANY OF THIS. and he very much does view the inquisition as his captors because fucking obviously (i'm coming from the angle of "the inquisition is built off the bones and name of something objectively evil regardless of its current intentions of slightly delusional benevolence and that shit has Connotations it cannot be separated from" and he has to like. lowkey abuse his power/play into his role as andraste's errand boy despite his fraught history with andrastianism to keep it from being Worse than it could be. it's stressful and shearing years off his life.) when solas outs him as a mage on the way to haven in the very beginning he straight up bluffs his way through it. what do you mean i'm a mage? i'm not a mage. solas is like what are you talking about. he's like i'm not a fucking mage dude it must be something the mark did because i've never done magic a day in my life. so on and so forth. he's just so earnest and about it he hits that nat 20 deception roll and solas is like damn ok i guess the mark gave you a permanent tether to the fade so that makes sense. cass is like sorry about your luck. varric is like [actively taking notes] damn that's crazyyy lol

anyway he keeps this secret locked tight the entire time and lets their assumptions become the accepted reality. but he's already gotten very good at suppressing/redirecting his magic during his time with the clan so it's not like. hard. he uses shields a little in battle (like to deflect hits/projectiles) but i don't write magic as flashy and visible as it is in the games so i just assume the light effects are diegetic and nobody notices.

i feel like solas is the first one to figure out that they've been bamboozled. which is fun cause i don't think he would tell anyone and it would be their fun little sword of damocles (solas with blackmail potential and [inquisitor whose name i want to change] with the knowledge that he pulled one over on the fucking dread wolf)

i do actually still want to romance dorian with him because i think the original intent of "damn this rich boy is a little stupid. i could fix him" still applies. he sees all the ways he's just like......a product of his environment and background and he knows he's still malleable enough to receive new perspectives and change his opinions. he's already a dissenter, he doesn't need a strong push. yknow. anyway we'll see how i feel about that when i get a bit further into this playthrough, it's been like 8ish years since i last played this game lol

that's the gist of the changes so far, i wanted a dalish perspective to highlight the absurdity of the whole chosen one thing, and i wanted a circle mage perspective because mage politics is the most interesting thing in the lore (to me <3) so i've got a bit of both going now. half considering bringing my current PC on as a lesser advisor (playing a trevelyan mage rn) because i think the game is too biased toward chantry interests and and we need a louder more annoying ex-circle mage chantry critic (since my inquisitor can't be too loud about it without inviting suspicion on his mage status) (and also since julian isn't there to be annoying about it) (and also cause i think it'd be fun to have a little shithead in the background causing as many problems as he solves). they'd have to hide the fact that they were friends in the circle so it'd be interesting navigating that. i think [trevelyan] and josie would work well together also. he'd probably needle cullen constantly until he gets the lore drop and then feel conflicted about it. i think there's a lot of potential here

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Me going into that interview powered-up from all the luck and well-wishes from my family and friends like:

[hibernating-stag]

The last post is part of the reason Faust Got In My Brain So Bad-

Something about someone who's self destructive behaviour has a positive impact on the people around him is so. Deeply tragic.

Faust is someone who can't slow down or let his mask of the friendly neighbourhood doctor slip for even a moment because that's seconds wasted where he could be helping his patients. And what's a bigger insult to everyone he's hurt than that?

[daz4i]

i just gotta make it through this week it's only 2 more work days and then i gotta make it through the weekend and i cancelled my plans for friday so i only have to get through saturday and then i have sunday off apparently so i only need to get through monday tuesday and wednesday and then i have the rest of the week off until next sunday and then i just need to make it through the week that starts then and then the week after that and then

[thesmokinpossum]

Oh my god guys, tell me why so many people in the notes of this survey are not only lowkey highkey bragging about not washing their hands before eating but also implying that doing so is inherently a sign of OCD and also foolish/pointless?

I remember 5 years ago genuinely thinking that the covid crisis was gonna have longlasting consequences on everyone, including making us a little intense about handwashing and now I have to come to term with the fact that not only it didn't happened but many of y'all nasty fuckers actually still have worst hygiene practices than litteral medieval peasants.

Anyway, I hope y'all are ready for another pandemic because between intensive animal farming and people refusing to engage in the easiest possible harm reduction practices it will happen again.