#this is rhe most. ive got
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
10:51
I hate love.
I hate love.
I hate love.
I hate love.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry
#audrey/kellie vents#i don't hate it. i dont. but fuck#with people whove ive possibly fp'd. its a hell#this is hell. i hate it#i hate it here. i hate it so much#no one says they love me. but thats because i don't rlly like it. yet the reason is because IM NOT USED TO IT.#no one has ever said they loved me when i was young. if only i was a character. if only i was fictional#why cant i be fictional#why am i not fictional.....#i mean. yume is practically me. in some senses#fuck.me. sorry sorry#i shouldn't have entered their lives. i shouldn't have. this fandom makes me sick. im tired. im so fucking fucked ober#tbis is the most ive been active with the fans#this is rhe most. ive got#and ive fucking ruined it all
1 note
·
View note
Text
i should talk abt my crimson king au more
#its a neat one its rhe one at the most risk of just. being its iwn thing but ive managed to sprinkle in enough integral loz stuff#salty talks#its got fun concepts in there imo. cane user linebeck is one of the most recent but it fits this au rlly well#the trickiest one to me to pull off is him being 1) like 20. and 2) having been adopted by link and arylls family at a young age#rn its just link aryll and grandma but i might have the parents be somewhat present in that early section? like before the story ofc#its like linebeck is adopted at 12 and while link is ~5 and aryll is ~2 so hes been with them abt 8 years#not sure why i let this sit in my drafts for so long. this is jsut me mentioning the au and stuff#funny how this for a bit stood out as the one where linebeck and bellum trend very homoerotic and then. well.#salty’s loz aus#p sure thats the tag
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
#does a bear blog in the woods#just phantom period stuff fuckingbw my brain chem i think is whats going on this week !#i knew the new tfb would rip emotions outta me but im messed uppppp .#ive been single the longest ive been in a Long Time now ...#theres good and bad . theres so much cooking in my head from these few months#dealint with grief . bad job . good job now#and still working on getting my life and health togethwr#and im really trying to craft and make shit again . its So necessary for your soul and ive been neglecting#tabletop has helped so much and roleplay will too qhen i get into it#in the mean time though . im LONELY !! im in a mood where being by myself is Torrrtureeee . butnive also been overstimmed !#i was very somber earlier cuz i jusf did Not have rhe energy to be up and do shit ..wjich is why i called out#but was just thinking the thing i miss most abt a relationship is always having some1 to hang out w or be around#especially physical side cause i am very physically affectionate !!! and tryin to get back to it .#its been hard cus of well ...trauma and also the pandemic . overthinking . itd help if i cried i think#i coulsve put this all ina read more ..too late now LOL !#i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly#but good gd its difficult when we are All exhausted . and when i judt Need the vocal speak vs typing#if u read all this mess thank you LOL . ill be okay . ive got to let myself feel this
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys remind me to watch la bamba later
#nicha said i should watch it#also nichas my beat friend thank gd for nicha. shes like the only irl person ive talked abt it with#and shes like . no you arent overreacting r you crazy . which makes me feel a LOT better#im so sad shes leaving thi :[[ she keeps telling me t move t great wolf lodge with her JFNFJFBF#and she said that if i ever need a ride to a job interview or a drs appt or anything like that t just ask. shes my bestiee#she has a yojnger sister my age (18 (nicha is 25 BTW) but her sister sucks so nicha literally said I wish you were my sister instead.#common kamille w. she also said im her favorite and i get all rhe stuff on her cart when she leaves ^-^ yay#but tbh. i might frrr look into great wolf lodge bc their starting pay is $18 dollars an hour#plus its. hotel work. which is wayy easier than apt cleaning if im being fully honest#and allegedly its closer to my house sooo...#plus. nicha fiona and i thinkk nee? r all leaving? which leaves me dee and brenda ? brother i gtg im not gonna be one of 3 housekeepers.#ik theyd hire more but i just got here i cant be like the 3rd most senior housekeeper 💀#sry 4 doxxing myself. potentially#oh also the pay here is 16 dollars an hour with literally no room for growth#brenda is housekeeping lead and she makes like. 17.#nee i think has been here almost since the place opened and she still only makes like 16.... which is insane#so ya i might look into gwl.#im mainly scareddd abt getting rides bc rn marian gives me a ride...#n like she could probably still give me a ride in the morning if im sooo niceys but likee. yk. how would i get home at da end of the day#ik i should just suck it up and ask my roommates bc kate is rly nice and prolly wouldnt mind but. gets scared... she also works closing#shifts so she wouldnt be able t bring me home. lily works a ton of different shifts so its not rly a reliable thang so i cant ask her#plus.everything. and then hal . yeah obvious reasons hes not giving me a ride LOL
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m like will byers but like if will byers shipped byler
#this has got to be rhe dumbest rhing ive ever said#i get the most brilliant thoughts on mobile /s#byler
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.
#i wrote a whole post trying to explain and then i realized it judt wasnt particularly worth it so i out it in the drafts. so i wrote for#like 20 minutes and all i got is soooo insanely dissociated . can we kill connor im sick of this fucking guy#idk. i wish often incould just project my brain on a wall or sometjing abd ppl would get it and i wouldnt have to explain it#bc everytjing i say even when it sounds crazy or it sounds oike im habing a breakdown its like. its how it actually is its the truth but#nobody ever fucking understands bc i cant. word it in a way that makes it make sense to people#like my most prominent 'delusion' i cant fucking explain it to people bc theyre like Woah thats rly rly rly concerning and sounds like its#rly harmful for yourself to believe that but it literally isnt I have to believe it bc its one of the only things that actually is keeping#me alive but if i ever fucking talk abt it nobody understands it#sometimes it is very scary and it makes me miserable that its true but i know that it is true. ive woken up in terror crying abt it Multiple#times but ik that its true and its a good thing its true bc it means i am alive roght now. as alive as i always am at least#but wtvr. the post wasnt even originally abt that#it was abt dropout stuff and like. yk. bc when i say I dropped out bc i was lazy and whiny ppl think im being mean 2 myself and erasing like#the depression and the ptsd and the Identity shit and the dissociation and the panic attacks and the seizures and grief and stuff#but its like. yes all that also was going on but i also was just lazy. if i wasnt lazy i couldve judt fucking graduated and i wouldnt be#trapped now#<- That is only true for me . ik thats like a stupid thing to say but this is why i cant rlt Be honest abt how i feel abt myself dropping#out is bc i get horrific fucking guilt bc i Was judt lazy and fucking stupid and i Am a bad person for not graduating hs#but that is not true for other dropouts for other dropouts deopping out doesnt mean youre dumb or lazy and it doesnt make you a bad person#but its different for me ik everybody thinks theyre the exception but i am i Am just lazy i am just stupid and its my fault. specifically.#idk i need to go lke slam my head into a wall.#idk what happened i wasnt fucking doing bad and then i made like. a loghthearted post abt sometjing and derailed in the tags and now its#oh i remembered. i tried to sign up for a ged class and encountered 1 obstacle and fucking gave up . God. i loterally havent changed at all#we neeedddd to get rid of connor or at least get a bew one in so fucking sick of being rhe one im so sick of being Connor i dont want it#anymore . head on pike#idk. im fine. im just habing a momey. im.probably judt pissy bc i didnt sleep. maybe ill take an edible
1 note
·
View note
Text
need bnha town to change the criteria of the hero billboard chart so it doesn't feel like a popularity contest
#idk how to word it but you know how in the entrance exams deku got rescue points#how to word rhe thoughts ive been feeling for a while#years#ever since the bb chart csme out probably#cuz rhen we get endeavor types#which#i could go into that i wont but it's better to focus less on 1 person at the top and go into the groupvteam work kinda thing#which is ofc what the series has mentioned many times but#putting that ahead of like wHoS thE MoSt POopulAr#which ik top 10 are very strong but#im rambling stoppppp i need to eat my blue takis and doodle my head hurts so bad#my ps4 was havung a disc eject error and i was struggling tocfind a fckng screw driver that fit cuz mine is broken but i got a hex key#when icremoved rhe glossy part to get to the hard drive i was a little too agfressive and a 2mm pirce of plastic broke rippp#it was smth near the power button#this thing is so old like 10 years#i think it's the og ones#my sister Needed to watch a barbie movie which is how i found iut the eject thing was fucked up#anyways all good now :)#this has nothing to do w anything im just a yapper#scarlett.txt#brain fog hitting me hard rn fok
0 notes
Text
two embers needs to release soon already so I can have a little more of an excuse to draw alef and resh as siblings and draw them to six trillion years and overnight story
#ahem#headcanon time#the passage trials were made as an alternative to the prophecy trials for moths and younger skids#also did ppl die from prophecy trials back before resh was kinged? i think the working lore theory(or the one ive seen most often)#i thought resh was rhe only one who suceeded in doing them in order to get the elements(?) which implies they either#1. did it without dying(which would be hard w/o anyone else)#or#2. was the only skid who did the trials that *got through them* to the elements which you get at the end of the trial#implying nobody else got to the end#alternatively if you slipped or fell at some point you got kicked out and DID survive but thats kinda fucked up when you apply that to the#trial of fire#whagever#this is going into strong headcanon territory but i like to think they took groups of skids at a time specifically for the trial of fire#but it would ALSO be cool if they made them go alone because like#the trials are what got him into power and eventually the apocalypse so it would make SENSE it all started with the opposite of what the#game is about#which is friendship and light#vibrating rn#im not ok#i dont remember like clearly but didnt the interview about two embers say that it was about two skids#and ones rise to power as the king and the other trying to stop the dark stuff#ive been having a normal time since revival came out because hopeful steward reminds me of what little description of the prince/second skid#from that interview#my post#scotl
0 notes
Text
🛌
#i need to go back in timw and blow myself up IVE BEEN SO. STRESSED. abt making good lab reports that i nvr eveb started them until like.#last week#bc my prof is so distinguished in his field and writing uo a shitty lab report like y even try im not getting any points#and it turned into a shitty cycle of kicking myself on rhe ground so i nvr write anythinf up and accepting that ill scrape by this sem#and the reports i turned in last week.cfor the first time. i rhought they were so shit so garbage#i only spent 5 hrs on rhese y would i get any points i wad fully expecting 4/10s#and he gave me full points. on both. like is it abt wanting ti get the sem over with prof i get it#now im sittinf here like a fucking rock. thinkifn if i just wrote somethinf up ANYTHING UP for another lab i couldve gotten more points#deep breaths okay#vomitting all this up to cathartically expel out my body like poison#need to build the confidence for a presentation tmrw for the same class prof made it so open ended#we can pick any research paper we want a present the finfings as if we were part of the team#i found one abt the importance of sleep! the researchers were lookinf into super primitive creatures like octopi#and found they perform something similar to sleep! so sleep is like. not a later evolution for higher sentient beings#but a necessary function for most complex organisms for some. reason.#anw#got that report to read n take notes on#wig vent
1 note
·
View note
Text
GAME OF FEELING
Hook always flirts with Y/n.
Daughter of Eris x Captain Hook
Made by a request in dm
Can u do one where the reader plays hard to get with hook?
Eris as her mother most parted way when she came, too afraid of whaf she might do, her mother was the godess of chaos after all and who knows what her daughter might bring as rumors spread that her father was a powerful wizard.
Y/n liked it that way, it ment she had never have a need to worry for someone crossing her as Uliana herself never dared to touch her.
It ment they feared her and if there is something her mother teached her is thay fear is power.
Everthing is going smooth untill he shows up.
Captain fucking hook himself, almost always at her side amd before she knew the rest of his gang was always around her aswell.
As now she was sitting at a table her elbows rested on her knees as she watched some kids run around.
She flicked her finged amd they triped when a ruck suddenly lifted from the ground and chaos was made.
Hook leaned to her ear and his lips brushed the shell of her ear when he spoke "I love it when you are wicked"
The girl turned her head to him their lips mere inches apart.
"Fuck off hook" she said before getting up amd walking away from the group.
Or
Few days ago, to get a flower they had to kill the deadly bugs around it.
Y/n took her bracelet amd used magic to turn one of the emblems, the scorpion, into live creature.
"So they are deadly right?" Hook asked leaning over rhe girls shoulder to look at the scorpion.
"Yeah like you after a bad nap" she said looking back.
"Maybe it would be better if you were next to me" he said.
"Ill send one of these on you"
Few day pas and the girl wanders around as a soft melody plays in the back round and she sings.
"If theres a prize for rotten jugdement, i guess ive already won that, no mana worth the agroovation thays ancient history been there done that"
The muses come out joining her in her song of heart " Who d'you think you're kiddin'?He's the earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you're feelin', who you're thinkin' of" by muses
"I wont say it"by Y/n
"You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Uh-oh" by muses
"Its too cliche i wont say im in love, I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
(Ah) My head is screaming, "Get a grip, girl"
"Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out"" by Y/n
"You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feelin'
Baby, we're not lying, hon we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown up
When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad?" By muses
"This scene won't play
I won't say I'm in love
You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it" by Y/n
"Girl, don't be proud, it's ok, you're in love" by muses
Music comes to an end as the girl whispers the last words to herself "at least not out loud, i wont say im in love" she whispers to herself as the nex part, the only time she will ever say it out loud " im in love with the captain of the seas"
#joshua colley x reader#descendants#descendants joshua colley#descendants james hook#descendants red#descendants chloe#james hook x reader
155 notes
·
View notes
Text
gang do I have friend-making capabilities (i say, while posting DOTTORE goddammit)
ignore his arm he uh.. got into an accident and had to steal a spare arm from one of his shorter clones 🔥 its not bad anatomy i swear, it's just dotty being a thief to himself !!
(oc ramble, this is my job (not really...), to ramble abt my goofy dumb creations:::
ive made so many stickers now, i cannot stop, ill be texting a pal and i'll stop and go 'oh i should make a sticker for [situation here]' and then my pal's'll go 'use [oc here]' and i'm like. yes. and rhen i do it. i have so many things i could be doing in life and yet im drawing CHAT STICKERS of my ocs. ah, i live a wonderful life, thank you jesus probably
the ones i use rhe most r actually: 'avi cringe' 'krait AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' and 'francis headpat'
i desperately need to make like a series of giving up emojis, like i need: a bit disappointed... absolutely shocked, heart brocken, GIVEN UP, hangin in there (smilin thru the tears), krait is already the exte- exes.. uh... extenstentional crisis existental..? oh gosh... existential. existential, Crimson. it's THAT easy luv... existential. i also need more playful silly ones like... idk, 'cloud catch'! where they throw a revving chainsaw at u while yelling 'catch!'
#art#artdrawing#drawing#illustration#digital art#genshin impact#genshin fanart#dottore#dottore genshin#il dottore
77 notes
·
View notes
Note
recently i left a comment on a fic from a good 10 or so years ago and the author responded saying they were happy people were still reading it :-D also recently i left a comment on a fic about a characters transition which i really enjoyed and the author informed me that writing that fic helped them discover their own gender!! and that my comment ‘genuinely made [their] day’. it was awesome <3 i dont tend to get too many comment on my own writing, on account of small fandoms and me not writing much, so i dont feel like i can pick a fav of comments ive received, but author replies are wonderful and i honestly love getting replies from the author so much like. its just so cool to be able to connect with another person over a piece of fiction that touched me deeply especially when its the person who made that piece of fiction!! i love commenting and receiving comments and everything in between and i love this fest !!! sorry for rhe long ask i got carried away
MOST OF THE COMMENTS MY PUPPETEER AND NECROMANCER HAS BEEN LEAVING THIS FEST ARE ON DECADE OLD FIC! AUTHORS ARE DELIGHTED TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE STILL CARE!!! GOOD ON YOU FOR REACHING OUT TO THEM THROUGH COMMENTS
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
played some more mother 1 i died to the magicant dragon like seven times in a row . awesome
#last attempt ana died turn one i just gave up after that#i dont want her to lose out on the exp… plus shes rhe only one w superhealing in case someone else goes down#ive heard it can get oneshot if u just use a superbomb but part of me wants to actually beat it#idk#seems pretty impossible at the level im at rn tbh i might just give up and do that#i got lifeup beta on ninten before one of the attempts on rhe way to the dungeon thingy but i reset the game after i died cuz i didnt#wanna lose the money i had on me and i still havent been able to learn it again -_- really annoying but also it hasnt been too necessary#since i gave evrryone h2o pendants and started setting up psi shields turn one#honestly the biggest issue is the physical damage (its pretty much guaranteed to oneshot ana even with boosted defense)#only way to combat that is just grinding i think which i dont really wanna do since the best place#just based on the general feel of enemies so far for me to do that would be the desert#i dont think you can teleport there and im kinda sick of walking all the way there#right after i got the cactus melody i wanted to use the ocarina to play what i had so far but i accidentally used the onyx hook#and i still had to do the whole monkey cave thing so i had to walk all the way back 😭#oh my god im realizing how whiny this sounds its like. im not as frustrated as ive seen some ppl get w this game but understand this is lik#the most time-wasting game in the world. walking anywhere takes forever cuz of the horrible encounter rate and shitty map design#genuinely i dont mind as much of this games jank as i probably should but the backtracking is insane#especially when you actually take advantage of the onyx hook. at least i have teleportation now stuff will#probably be a lot more streamlined from now on#inquisitivewaltz.txt
1 note
·
View note
Note
okay BIG NEWS IM BACK. i just dreamt that i went INSIDE THE PHOUSE. kinda freaking out.
ok starts with dan and phil picking me up, dans driving but im in the back with phil, we kinda talk a bit about the scenery (it was weird because i remember recognising a lot of dan and phils videos or posts that i then saw irl that made sense at the time, but waking up those things never actually happened). dan and phil had just got back from their vacation (apparently it was universal lol, the summer florida trip or something), and i was like “oh hey i go to universal next week (i am)” and again just like small talk. i remember phil asking dan to put on the radio and calling him bubs as well (“bubs can you turn on the radio?”). i like half passed out on phils bag as well like halfway thru but woke back up in rhe last couple minutes of the drive (it was fluffy).
we eventually drive down this long dusty road, passing by horses and cows? and then at the end theres a couple of houses like a mini neighbourhood. (its dusk almost night atp) and we pull into their house on the left. i get out and as soon as i enter the phouse i do lowkey start freaking out internally because im like “wow ok im probably the first phan inside their house i cant take any photos or videos without permission i refuse to post anything without permission” i do then remember i forget my bag with my phone outside (because i fell asleep) so i go back outside to grab it and i see their daughter lauren in the second upstairs window. i go back inside, and when you first walk in its like, kinda right diagonal to the kitchen, and the left is like the bathroom and other doors (though i never explore mutch of the house). i take a shower (which its layout is burned into my head), and then go back into the kitchen and i start talking to dan because were going to film a video w the 4 of us (dan, phil, lauren, and me) and its like a board game i think? it was definitely fictional but it was made by the incohearent guys. just as we were finishing up talking though, i got woken up :(
it felt so real in the dream, like i could touch and feel everything, and it was so fucking surreal… and i can just Remember and sense the vibes. i have no idea how to describe how cosy the dream felt either.
anyways ill try to draw the layout if i can (and the outside of the house) but a lot of it is vivid but like slightly off or blurry.
all in all this was the most insane and vivid dream ive ever had about them and this was life changing actually
it's so incredibly detailed oh my god. what a lovely dream
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
theres this guy at work that looks like EDDIE like he wears metallica and anthrax shirts to WORKKK!?!? he blasts hard metal through his speakers that i can hear from miles away and he has curly long hair… except he has blue eyes but he has the most rancid vibes like he scares me to death i wish i was kidding omfg.
he gives me death stares and each time i pass by him he looks up and stares at me until im gone. one time i smoked next to him on my break and i wanted to be nice and say hi. and i did and he was listening to music and he gave me the SCARIEST death stare and then he said hi back but i got super anxious and awkward so i was like “oh im sorry u can keep listening to ur music” and then he was like no its fine!!! and then just STARED at me while smoking his cigarette and i tried to open up a conversation but he kept the stare at me and ever since then ive been terrified of ever speaking w him again i dont even look in his direction bc the way he stares at me is so CREEPYJENDN and rhe problem is ive seen him w everyone else and hes nice but when it comes to me its all DEATH STARES??!?!?
anyways i rambled on for nothing but he got a buzzcut and its exactly like how i imagine eddies buzzcut in the show thats what i was going to say goodbye💀💀
#em talks#MY BOYFRIEND KEEPS MAKING FUN OF IT SAYING HE PROBABLY FINDS ME ATTRACTIVE?!?!?!#my sister said the same thing but not AT ALL like when i say death stare ITS A DEATH STARE
36 notes
·
View notes