#this is reminding me that i want to make an aro positivity blog. but i also want this acc to be ace nd aro positivity 24/7 :)

[vulpinesaint]

everybody talking about wanting new asexual memes i think we need to go muppets sex and violence on this. not in the sense that sex should be the new asexual meme but in the sense that we counteract the cutesy stuff with incredible awful imagery. so. lose the sex keep the violence. i think the new asexual meme should be ripping someone's throat out with your teeth. i think the next asexual meme should be tearing flesh apart with your fingers. and the new aro meme is Knives. are we all on board with this

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

HI MAGGOTS just letting you know that we love aroace folks here on this blog

Good Omens mascot here! It's so amazing that the Good Omens fandom is so accepting and wonderful, but all the same, I want to remind everyone that people on the aroace spectrum are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and are queer, because they are on the aroace spectrum. Yes that includes all of them. I'm aspec myself, and I realised it thanks to the amazing people on tumblr, and I'm accepting myself more each day here.

ON THAT NOTE, VERY IMPORTANT VERY WONDERFUL NEWS, the fabulous, amazing, and very supportive maggot @queermarzipan HAS REALISED THEY ARE ASPEC, CAN WE ALL CONGRATULATE HER PLEASE? WELCOME TO THE COMMUNITY WE LOVE YOU.

The fact that she realised it by going through my posts until she hit one where I'd been questioning if I was aspec and people on tumblr helped me out is honestly so wild. Fandom is a crazy wonderful thing and I'm so happy for them, and I'm so glad that we're all guiding each other not just down the pipeline of fandom masochism but also on other random paths of acceptance and positivity.

There's an aspec Crowley fic that @eviebane shared with me, I read a few paragraphs and felt so represented that I had to put it away for later because TOO MANY EMOTIONS. I'm sure there are many more fics with the GO characters as aspec and that's amazing.

WOOHOOO man being ill is NOT doing wonders for my sanity. If it's winter where you live bundle up warm please, this fandom loves handing each other hot cocoa anyway so.

Side note, everyone who has been tagging me on Doctor Who posts, I'm absolutely traumatised and will make a Pt II of Doctor Who. Thanks guys.

Side side note, the friend who kindly informed me that Michael Sheen was in twilight and ruined my life, made this comment: "Yeah Michael Sheen is Aro (the vampire)... and so am I."

[squiddokiddo]

Greetings!!! I just wanted to say how much I love your art! The way you draw Gordon is my favourite. Your style is amazing and unique and I particularly love the colours you use, they're so colourful, and all the little details you put into it.

Thank you for all the aro & ace positivity too, I've needed to hear it lately.

I really enjoyed the fic you wrote, and if it is something you enjoyed and want to do more of, I would be very happy to hear more adventures of Gords and Squirt.

I like seeing whatever you make, whether its only Gords, or your ocs, or even just stuff that reminded you of them. And ocean stuff, the ocean is awesome. It's all cool, so whatever makes you happy!

I've kinda been lurking around the thunderfam for a while, hi. Your art is comforting and it makes me smile, so here I am to say thank you. Because, yeah, making any sort of art is hard, and you are amazing and deserve to hear it!

I feel like I should have a question, because this is an ask, so: What is your favourite sea creature, aside from Gordy, of course? :)

--AstraNite (I really like cuttlefish, they're neat!)

Hi, thanks so much for dropping me this ask. It was a really sweet surprise, I definitely needed a pick-me-up.💛💛

I'm going to try and address everything you've mentioned, give me a minute lol.

I'm really glad that you like my drawings, I haven't been getting a lot of comments on them atm so I'm really grateful for your feedback. It's interesting that you find my art comforting since a lot of the things I make are for my comfort too. I've said this before but I had a really rough childhood and TAG and Gordon have brought me a lot of comfort during some really tough times.

I'm happy to hear that my drawings are bringing other people comfort too.💛💛

°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o

Ace and aro positivity: yes I'm also aroace and there's nothing but love for fellow aros, aces and aroaces on this blog.

°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o

I'm so happy that you liked my fic, it was my first so I was really nervous and ocs can be very hit or miss but the fandom seems to really like Squirt which makes me so so happy.

I have been trying out more writing but none of it came out anywhere near as good as the first one. I do hope to post more Bigsquid and Squidkid adventures and hopefully expand on their relationship and Squirt's backstory (which is still an ongoing mystery to me) but I'd also like to try making things that aren't OC centered because I know it's not something everyone enjoys lol.

°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o

Ok onto sea creatures, cuttle fish are very interesting, the way that they change colour to camouflage and intimidate other animals. Yeah they're pretty cool.

My favourite sea creature (apart from Gords) uhhhh I like sharks, no particular species, they're all cool. I think sharks have a really bad reputation when they're actually quite chill. They don't tend to attack humans, their eyesight is bad and they often mistake us for seals and other animals that they eat.

As Gordon would say: They're sea puppies.🦈🩵

°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o𖦹°o

Thanks for dropping into my askbox, I hope my answers were ok. If you ever want to chat or anything my pms and inbox are always open.💛💛

[a-passing-storm]

My Tagging System

Hello! I am posting my tag system so that I can pin it and actually know what my tagging system is. I am pretty inconsistent with it, and this sheet is very much a work in progress. I will probably make it easier on the eyes at some point, but right now I am a little unsure about how I want to format it. Many of my tags aren't included on this post. I'll just add them as they come up, and at some point I might go back through my older posts to figure it out.

If I list a tag as "something OR another thing," it's because I use those two tags pretty interchangeably. If it's listed as "something AND another thing," it means that I (almost) always use those two tags together. At some point, I'll pick a single tag to use, but I can't be assed to do it right now.

ALSO! I don't have many content warning tags yet, but feel free to send me an ask if you would like one. Do note that I don't tag them as "cw [thing]" or "tw [thing]" or "[thing] tw" or "[thing] cw" or "/// [thing]" or whatever other format. I'll just tag it as "[thing]" because I feel that makes it much easier to block, and it also makes the tags useful for searching for things along with blocking things.

General/Standard

dante dicit <- Posts that were made by me. I may also use this for posts by other people that I added text to.

dante digreditur <- Posts where I ramble in the tags.

reblog

queue

poll

ask game OR tag game OR reblog game <- I use "reblog game" and "ask game" pretty interchangeably, but they're either for "reblog and put in the tags..." posts or "reblog and tag people" posts.

idk how to tag this <;- Besides other basic tags like "reblog" or "queue," these posts will likely NOT have other tags. There may be untagged sensitive content on these posts. I would block this tag if you rely heavily on my content warning tags, but a significant amount of my normal posts would also be blocked.

reference OR fav OR &lt;- I will use one of these, and I'm not very consistent about which one. These tags are for me, but I have no clue which ones are for what. I think I usually use "reference" the most for informational posts, and "<3" for art or writing that I want to come back to.

Content Warnings

all caps

negative

positive

long post &lt;- I'm not very consistent about this one. If you'd like me to be more consistent about it, send me an ask.

serious post OR important &lt;- I'm not sure how I decide which one to use, to be honest, but they are very similar.

Classics (I post a lot about classics, but recently I have not posted as much about them. Because of that, most of my recent classics posts are just tagged as "classics" without any more specific classifications.)

classics

latin

rome

my latin teacher

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Quintus Valerius Catullus

Gaius Julius Caesar

Fandoms (I definitely post about more than just these, but I can't remember the other tags right now.)

good omens AND go

good omens season two AND gos2

Assorted

i find this quite humerus &lt;- Puns, dad jokes, and other funny things. It's a reference to that one skeleton pun, I think.

spring will come again

buses go moo <- Those "buses are cows" type posts and cellular towers being animate. Or whatever.

i am an entity &lt;- Things that are Gender, me talking about my gender, possibly some voidpunk things.

self fulfillment needs &lt;- Also things that are Gender, but in a slightly more consumerist way (eg. clothing items that I want).

shadow &lt;- Things that remind me of my cat.

bird &lt;- Mainly, pigeons, crows, and ravens.

art

poetry AND poem

intrepid <- My sad swashbuckler rogue. I don't really post about them here, but any posts to do with the sea or the color blue will probably get tagged with their name.

people are people

Political-ish/Serious Posts (This isn't a very political blog, but these are the more serious things that I might post about.)

queer

aro AND aromantic

ace AND asexual

trans AND transgender

free palestine AND palestine

[aro-absol]

[ID: Two replies from @sailormaya , the op of this post. They read: "@ weird-potato-chip @ beezerbubs thank you both for your incredibly thoughtful response to my post! if you don't mind me picking your brain a bit more, how do you define "romance?" because for me, it's not necessarily that i feel a lack of romantic attraction but rather that in my mind i can't come up with a distinction between a platonic and romantic relationship. "oh but you wouldn't kiss your friends! oh but you wouldn't be a lifelong roommate with your friend! oh you—"—yes i would. i would do all of those things with a partner or with a friend. so to me, the way i define my aromanticism is not by a lack of feeling, but a lack of distinction or understanding what romance actually is. would aromantic even be the right word to describe this feeling?" / End ID]

I decided to answer this here because of the character limit and just overall practicality.

So, I think not knowing the difference between romantic and platonic attraction is actually another common experience in the aromantic community. After all, I think what is seen as romantic and what is not largely depends upon your culture and the environment you're in. I get it, sometimes it feels almost arbitrary. I tried to come up with a definition that works for me, personally - but failed every time. I feel the closer I try to get to the bottom of what romance actually is, the more blurry and hazy the concept becomes for me.

However, I think the experience you described of not feeling the same for your crushes as for your friends and therefore not being able to make a distinction between the two - it reminds me of the two microlabels idemromantic and platoniromantic. Both labels are about exactly that: not feeling a difference between romantic and platonic attraction. With idemromantic, the person does make a distinction based on other factors instead. That could be age, closeness, presence of sexual attraction, compatability or other things. With platoniromantic, the person doesn't make a distinction at all. Both of these are microlabels, meaning the person is still aromantic, the microlabel just further specifies the exact "flavour" of aromanticism.

I personally do not use either of those labels so I can't speak from experience. Maybe @nodistinction-noproblem can help you. It is an idemromantic and platoniromantic positivity blog. (If you read this: I hope you don't mind me tagging you. Yours is literally the only idemromantic blog I know.)

Of course, whether these labels fit you and whether you want use them is your own choice. Nobody can tell for you.

Just know, to me, that does still sound very aro, and you're always welcome in the aromantic community : )

attention all aromantic people: please describe for me what being aromantic means to you / feels like for you. i identify as aromantic but i feel like it's different than a lot of what i see on the internet so would you be so kind as to share your perspective please. thank you.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

[tw internalized aphobia]

hi!

i always felt good about my aroace identity. i always took a lot of pride in it and never struggled with it, but lately i’ve been thinking that it would’ve been better if i just identified as bisexual (i used the bi label before aro and ace). seeing some posts here really made me think that it would be just a lot simpler if i was in fact bi and not aroace.

i know that labels don’t have to be “old” to be legitimate, but i feel that some people online still see it that way? it makes me wish i was one of these labels that are seen as legitimate and real.

do you have any advice to deal with this internalized aphobia? i try to curate my online space as best of my ability but there’s always a voice in my head that keeps coming back saying it’d be better if i was bi instead.

sorry if this is too much information. your blog is a safe space for me i really appreciate your attention to answering asks and helping people. i hope your doing well 🤍

Yeah curating your online experience is definitely a good first step. Make sure you're also making good use of blacklisting options too. The more you see things that reinforce your internalized aphobia the harder it will be to work through that.

The other thing I'd recommend is go out of your way to regularly see and consume positive a-spec stuff. So that can be following blogs, which it sounds like you're already doing, but seeking out videos, checking out community, spaces, etc. I think it's especially really good to just see aces and aros talk about being ace and aro and talk about their own experiences.

Do you know any ace or aro people? Are you friends with any allies? If not, maybe consider joining an ace/aro discord server or something like that. So you have people you can talk to about being aroace.

If you're not already I'd also look into aroace media, there's more rep coming out all the time and some of it's really good. I've personally really enjoyed the Jughead 2015 run from Archie comics, Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger (YA Novel), and The Magnus Archives (Podcast) all of which have a-spec main characters. Alice Oseman is someone else to watch too, she's aroace and has a-spec characters throughout her works. Her book Loveless is specifically about an aroace college student coming to terms with her identity (this could be a bit raw if you're in a similar place), but if you're watching her current show Heartstoppers, Isaac is aroace as well and she's promised there'll be more a-spec content next season.

In general if you're not sure where to look for media, googling lists (such as books with ace characters, podcfasts with aro characters. etc) is usually a pretty effective way to find ace/aro media.

If you're comfortable with it another thing you can consider it pride stuff. If you don't want visible pride stuff around that will out you, maybe you can get a subtle pride art for your phone background or something like that.

Basically you want to connect with your identity, so not just see positive things about but also feel it.

Another thing you can do is some exercises to help yourself think differently. If you can identify the negative thought processes you're having about being aroace, or about it being better to be bi, you can consciously stop them and correct yourself.

So for example if you're thinking 'aroace is a newer coined label and people won't take it serously', you can stop and remind yourself that actually it's a term that has become very widely accepted in a short amount of time, including by most major lgbtq orgs. Or that the people who say that are jerks and their opinion on your identity doesn't really matter (or whatever resonates with you).

And you don't have to do more than that, just a gentle correction and move on with your day.

Another exercise that may help could be something like journaling, where once a week or something you like about the label aroace. So it could be listing things you like about being aroace, it could be things you like the community, things you like about the label itself, it doesn't matter. But that will help get you in the habit of thinking positive things or making positive associations with your label.

So generally speaking it takes time to unlearn internalized oppression. There's no flip you're going to switch and suddenly do better. But usually once you've identified it and you're making an effort, it will usually gradually get better. It's important to give yourself time though and be patient with the process.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[bloodrosebriars]

re: miquella

bc i saw some absolutely abhorrent art of them that disgusted and enraged me i wanna talk abt my hcs re their relationship

first and foremost i wanna remind everyone that my mohg is aro and does not feel romantic attraction. his form of love is very different from esp western views of it. it is far more familial, and the love he has for miquella is more akin to that he has for morgott than anyone else. any mentions of love in this post is That Kind. i will not tolerate hcs regarding incest on my blog and kindly ask anyone who ships them or otherwise to leave

breathes

their story is one of absolute tragedy and abuse. the abuse element is obvious, but the tragedy comes with mohg’s role in it all. because he genuinely, 100%, without any doubt or hesitation, thought he was doing the right thing

it was the mother’s influence that drove him to seek out miquella. with no way to communicate, locked in his comatose state, unable to fully execute his power, yet being so full of obvious love and drive himself, he was the perfect candidate for ascending to godhood. in a sense, the mother used miquella’s slumbering form as another conduit to her form, much like mohg’s trident and claws — a means of communion. we can see this in the way that mohg’s blood magic is a gift from the mother, and he is able to hide within miquella’s as if it were a portal to another dimension (which i hc it is, to put it simply). her influence is within miquella, whether miquella wanted it or not. which is a horrible, horrible thing

but what’s most horrible is that mohg thought he was helping. every ounce of blood fed, every ritual performed, everything he did to attempt to ascend miquella, he did thinking it would help the boy in the end. he wanted him to be powerful. he wanted him to be a god. he wanted him to lead nations. he wanted him to be the face of an era of love. he wanted nothing but good things for miquella, and revered him even above himself. but he was misguided, foolish, and weak, and never realised what damage he was doing, or the fact that in trying to help miquella become a god, he had done quite the opposite and stripped him of his very autonomy. he was a fool

in general, though, from an outside standpoint, his care for miquella is very sweet. he loves him dearly, almost as much as he loved morgott as they were growing up — his purest, most honest form of love — and treats him as such. he talks to miquella; he reads to miquella. he keeps the cocoon and its pedestal clean. he lights incense; he leaves flowers. he is just as doting upon miquella’s slumbering form as he would be were miquella alive — were he able to see. he cares not for reciprocation. he just wants to be the best he can be

in the end, he simply wishes to be consort to miquella regarding the dynasty — and, no, not in the marriage sense, in the companion sense. for him, this means being second in charge — the one who makes the final decisions. he wants miquella to be the face, the godhead, of their dynasty, and him merely the name. he wants everyone to know that the great luminary mohg ushered in an era of love, yet for miquella to be the conduit for said love. this is one of the reasons he simply calls himself a luminary rather than a monarch. he is merely the influence, while miquella is the crown

were miquella to awaken from his slumber, mohg would be just as doting as he already is, if not more. fine clothes and foods and wines. catering to his every whim and wish. explaining the meaning of the dynasty, of what he stands for, and what they can be together. and he’s sure — he’s positive — miquella will reciprocate. for miquella is also a creature of love, is he not? why would he ever say no?

why would he ever say no

misjudgment, misunderstanding, mistakes, and misguidance all led to this horrible outcome — this awful stripping of a young man’s wishes and will and very place in the world. but never once think mohg did it out of cruelty — out of a search for power, or a hunger for might. dynasty aside, when it comes to his love regarding his and miquella’s relationship, he really, and truly, in the end, just wanted someone to fill that void that morgott had left — one half to a whole — and to give them the love that he had lost. he wanted to be loved. and most of all, he wanted to be loving, too. he wanted his dynasty to bring an end to the suffering of those shunned by the erdtree. and he wanted miquella to help him — and, in turn, help miquella, too

he wanted to create a world, through friction and force, wearing miquella’s face, that was founded on love — led by lovers — and which thanked the mother for her hand in discovering it

he just wanted everything to be okay

idiot

[ckret2]

Do you have any headcanons about the Hazbin's (minus Charlie) lives back when they were alive?

I scrolled through all 42 pages of the hazbin tag on my blog and literally every one of my premortem headcanons are about Alastor and Sir Pentious lmfao

So sure! Want an entire novella about my headcanons for Sir Pentious's backstory?

For Alastor, I can offer:

a traumatic toddler experience

his mother observing him with ghosts as a child

Alastor working with demons (funny)

Alastor working with demons (creepy)

Alastor and his asexuality/aromanticism (mostly postmortem but it has some premortem flashbacks)

Alastor with friends in the 20s trying to explain he does not get horny

a fic that didn't ACTUALLY happen but that demonstrates my headcanons for how he works with demons

And moving away from fics and on to tumblr posts!

For Alastor:

Alastor fought in World War I

another WWI post

headcanon about how he died (I've since changed my headcanon—hunting accident rather than manhunt—but the position's the same)

excerpt from one of the fics above about Alastor's first kiss

early headcanoning on Alastor's relationship with the queer community in life

Alastor saw but didn't learn the lindy hop in life

Alastor's accent makes people (in this case Sir Pentious) think that he's upper class when actually he's just had theater training

Alastor's family tree comes from a mix of socioeconomic backgrounds and before he died he achieved fame but not fortune

Alastor does not feel broken/insecure due to being ace/aro and never has

what people in Louisiana thought of Alastor as a radio host

what did Alastor look like (and Sir Pent)

Alastor only saw 10% of the Golden Age Of Radio and that's fucked up

fun fact when Alastor was on air radio stations weren't "just news" or "just (one genre of) music," a single station would play music and news and soap operas and sports etc

random links of queer history, 1920s gay culture, slang, and NOLA history

Alastor's mother grew up while Sir Pentious was menacing the US and she has very vivid memories of living in fear of him, and also she doesn't know her son is a cannibalistic murderer

Alastor wore glasses in life and only switched to a monocle in death

Alastor was never identified as a serial killer and there's probably unsolved true crime documentaries made about his killings (and these documentaries unknowingly use a recording of the killer's real voice, a clip from a news broadcast where Alastor read about the killings on air)

check out how hyped this newspaper in the 20s was for radio like goddamn

Alastor listened to radio all day every day

more 1920s research links

very loose overview of New Orleans race relations 1890-1920

how NOT to write about Voodoo

reminder that "alastor did magic in life" is a headcanon until we SEE him using magic before he died—also "Voodoo" is a religion not a magic power

how Alastor avoided getting caught as a serial killer

I doubt Alastor was famous enough for queer historians to have discovered he existed, only niche radio broadcast historians know about him

Alastor was raised to be courteous to (respectable) women, but not to genuinely see them as equals in a modern sense

1920s hair facts and headcanons on Alastor's hair

scene from one of the above fics of baby Alastor being haunted as shit

Alastor is a hedonistic thrill killer not a mission-oriented killer

his killing method was shooting from a distance, like hunting game

Alastor was kinda psychic in life and his psychicness interacted with radio signals

this includes developing a hella accurate sense of time

Alastor's always been hella into Mardi Gras

here he is in a ridiculous Cajun Mardi Gras costume

how the Great Depression probably affected Alastor

Alastor feels 0% empathy for other people but 500% empathy for fictional characters in musicals

For Sir Pentious:

he was so infamous that today he's a common character used in historical fiction in the same way that Victorian-era historical fiction commonly uses Queen Victoria as a character

(and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle references him in a Sherlock story)

(and he really did call himself Sir Pentious in life)

(and every character who lived after him had to study him in school, including Vaggie writing a paper about him and Alastor was cast as him in a school play)

(and now let's talk about historians dying and meeting the people they studied in Hell)

he has a son who's probably now in heaven

Sir Pent is trans

no seriously he has a son

Sir Pent has a chain of deadnames he used before settling on "Sir Pentious" and all of them are snake puns

one of Sir Pent's chosen names

based on Victorian sexual mores Sir Pent probably got kinda homoerotic with some dudes

this is just big Trans Sir Pent energy

what did Sir Pent look like (and Alastor)

I don't think Sir Pent used a wheelchair in life (but do think he had to for a while after he died)

Sir Pent is Pussyeating World Champ no I do not accept arguments

Sir Pent and his wife were very loving until his wife went "nope, you're planning world conquest, that's too evil for me"

he rigged his clothes to self-combust so he could choose death if he was ever on the verge of capture

his wife was named Helena and here's why

this is his self-destruct binder/corset

the one headcanon everyone shares

Sir Pent ain't Jack the Ripper

And there's a ton more headcanons on @dontasktheradiodemon my Alastor ask/RP blog but listen, I just went through 42 pages of one tag and it's 3 a.m., I'm not going to comb my roleplay blog for every premortem headcanon I've ever mentioned about him over there. It includes stuff like "he did deliberately shitty horoscope readings on air" and "the first time he summoned a demon he was on the Western Front and also coming down with Spanish flu so he's not sure how much of the ensuing chaos was real vs fevered hallucinations or how much was the Germans' fault vs the imp's" and "he lived a few years in New York and did drag."

These are not the only headcanons I have. These are just the headcanons I've been asked about or made time to type down. (And not counting all my postmortem headcanons. Or the premortem headcanons sprinkled into postmortem fics.) Feel free to ask me for more. Ideally with a topic you'd like to hear about; otherwise asking me "do you have any headcanons?" is like walking into a library and asking "do you have any books?" Gimme a section to start with.

[i-did]

hey! I hope those aftg asks aren’t getting tiring lol but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on the recent fandom treatment of Kevin, which seems to be mainly seeing him as a victim mistreated both in canon by the other foxes & by nora himself? Like I remember in the earlier days of aftg (like maybe around 2016? 2017??) there definitely wasn’t this kind of focus or view of Kevin & I feel like he was treated with somewhat more nuance then? And this could be related to the growing hate for Nora since then but you don’t see people say the same things about the other foxes?? This is a very messy ask lol but I’m genuinely so confused about this trend esp because Kevin seems to be the only fox (as far ive seen anyways) that people are holding up as a victim w/o any nuance

I have a lot of fun answering these, I just sometimes take a minute to get to them lol

Okay so I definitely know what you're talking about with the Kevin thing. The first major factor is that AFTG has finished coming you years ago, and Nora has not actively engaged with the fandom since 2016. I came around into AFTG in 2017 as a reader, and looking at the fanart. Mostly by then you see the race headcanons locked into place and the beginning of the split between fanon and canon. Without more canon, fanon content starts to develop as whoever is more influential the fan creators (fic authors, fan artists) start to do things that trend. As a time passes in a fandom, it tends to split into niches, people who see things a certain way and want to see more of that follow each other and gain followers who agree with them. 

There is definitely a Kevin centric niche that thinks those things. I don’t think there was as much focus in general on Kevin back in 2017, but I also was pretty new. But there were no extreme Anti-Andrew fans, back then it was “you are either a fan of Nicky or a fan of Aaron.” People didnt have “dni choking apologists” on their blogs. 

I think choking discourse is a good example of the rise of Kevin. Andrew must fall for Kevin to rise. There are kandreil fans that genuinely like all three, and some ace/aro Kevin fans that like him just as he is, but a lot of Kevin centric content I see now on tumblr is about how Andrew is the real villain of AFTG for choking Kevin, despite Kevin violently choking Neil in book 1. 

Back in 2018 they weren't pitted against the other and I think the whole “you can only like one character or the other” thing is stupid imo. I like Nicky more than Aaron, but I still think they're both interesting characters. Ive seen a lot of “Kevin was only a victim” takes, and in fact got cyber bullied for a while by some people who thought I was too mean to Kevin in some of my HC by implying he also had some power in the nest and likely hurt others, and that he feels guilt over it. :/ but there is also a similar niche with “you can't blame Aaron for his homophobia, his mom was abusive, and she likely made him that way.”

It's the most similar discourse trend I've seen to the Kevin discourse. It’s a similar lack of nuance, and I think people inflict it their favorite character because they don't want to have a ‘problematic fav.’ Aaron is canonly homophobic, Neil says directly after him and Andrew ‘come out’ to the others, that he was waiting to see the same grief Aaron gave Nicky over his sexuality. It doesn't mean he can't be also a good character or a person someone likes, in fact well written characters have dimensions and flaws. 

Which that whole mess is similar to the whole Kevin thing. I think people fall in love with the idea of Nora’s characters, or maybe the fanon characters–but not the real characters. Which is also why they say the author hates them, because they got written to do bad things or not be in the story as much, they defend these characters as if they were real people who need defending, need to be saved from being erased. These characters become “their character.”

I think this also happens because people kin characters and identify with them a lot, so when I said “Kevin was in a position in power in the nest too, even in second place” and then receive threats for how I personally hurt someone who's a CSA survivor because of my Kevin HC I'm like (o – o). I think these people project so hard onto Kevin and design him in their mind, they feel as if character flaw HCs or depictions of Kevin struggling and being mean are personal insults, or at least very personally insulting. And I don't want to sound like an ass, but like my Kevin isn't the same as their Kevin, my Kevin is my Kevin. 

I see skinny art of Andrew and art of Neil as white or ginger, these don’t align with my personal HC’s about them, but like that's what I chose to go with. Nora uses language that makes me believe Neil has dark auburn hair, but if people want him to be ginger idc. In canon he was written with the intent to be white, I ignore that because I think him being mixed adds more depth to his character (as well as me being tired of only white mlm, and have updated my reading list). Andrew wasn’t imagined by Nora to be fat either, but I HC him as like a mini muscle bear instead of Toby Hemingway. 

I keep the canon intent in mind to remind myself how she actually saw them and how that can color canon and how other people are allowed to see Neil as white and Andrew as skinny. Like I understand why people get annoyed over other peoples hc’s, I feel similarly sometimes. But like at the end of the day, you just gotta move out of that fandom niche and into a new one or just ignore the post.

[jaskierswolf]

hi im thinking of hosting some kind of ace / aro / platonic kind of week in another fandom but im not completely sure how to do such a thing. i am ace (and probably aro) but ppl that have expressed interest in partaking that arent, say they arent sure how to write respectfully ace or aro content, and that maybe there should be some guidelines (the only one that really comes to mind is dont make it all 'without a romantic partner im lesser / incomplete'). thoughts?

Hello!

It depends how formal you want the event to be you could set up something like @thewitchertransweek which had prompts, a blog, and a discord. Oh and an AO3 collection. That encourages lots of people to get involved, and the prompts are great for inspiring different ideas.

When I've done things for ace and aro week in the witcher. It's been a personal thing. I've asked for prompts and encouraged my friends to write things too if they have time/energy. I've also met friends through it because people have reached out having read the fics and seen themselves represented for the first time.

In terms of guidelines and being respectful, my best advice is to read fics and books featuring ace/aro characters. Look up articles, wikis, other media written by ace/aro people, and honestly remember that it is a spectrum.

Ace is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. This has nothing to do with wanting sex, libido etc. You can be ace and still be sex positive. It's just not finding people sexually attractive. Alternatively, you can be ace and never want anything to do with sex, and reallly most things in between. Some people like it hypothetically but not involving them, others feel attraction sometimes but always. This is the same with aro, just with romantic attraction.

Look up a glossary of ace/aro identities. Tell different stories with different parts of the spectrum, have fun exploring how this can challenge your writing.

You are right though. Being ace/aro isn't all doom and gloom. I don't mind stories that have a character struggling with their ace/aro identity, but for me it's always more rewarding to see a character being supported if they are struggling, or just happy with who they are.

I hope this makes sense! If you have any more specific questions I'd be happy to answer!

_

Also a quick reminder that I'm taking prompts for Ace week next month if anyone want to send in any witchery ones! I still have spaces left 💜💚

[0verthinking1t]

Starting over

Hey Tumblr. My name is Rose, and my blog is called Overthinking It. It's been around a while, but I haven't really been doing much with it. I started in hopes of using it as a place to dump all my long, overthought rambles about my hyperfixations, but abandoned that pretty quickly and have just been using it as my main blog for surfing the hellsite. I don't post a lot, which is something I'm trying to change. I have a new purpose in mind for this little corner, so I'd like to reintroduce myself and the new Overthinking It.

I am mentally disabled. I am ADHD, depressed, anxious, and I have trauma from spending my teen years with alcoholic family members. I'm nonbinary, Aro-Ace, and have some uh... Pretty weird interests. I'm an artist, and I'm at the beginning of my journey to being a professional. I'm a lot of things all at once, and this can make normal life a bit of a struggle sometimes. I've hit a pretty low point for now, but I'm actively working to pull out of it. I've been letting the brain fog and entropy of my mental illnesses swallow me recently, and it's been robbing me of the willpower to even do simple self care tasks. I came to this realization today, and decided that I don't want to keep letting this happen— I don't want my bedroom to be my entire life, and if I stagnate any more, things will only get worse. I want to feel human again. I also want a place to talk about it, and maybe connect to others who have gone through (or are going through) similar times.

I am starting at pretty much absolute zero right now, which is pretty embarrassing sometimes. I have to put "shower", "stand up for 5 minutes", and "eat actual meals" on my to-do list, and set reminders telling me what day of the week it is. Feeling sorry for myself over my reality right now isn't the point of this blog, tho. Today, I'm starting over fresh and looking for ways to get myself up and functioning again, and that's what I want to share with the world. I know I'm not the only ADHD or depressed person who struggles with motivation, self discipline, or emotional numbness, and I want to send something positive out into the universe for the rest of us who need it. I want to share my experiences with mental health care, and the strategies I invent to trick my brain into being useful. I want to share what baby steps I can make day after day to let people know that they're not alone in whatever stage of life and coping they're at. I know I'm going to sound kind of pathetic sometimes when I'm posting about little things like getting up and dressed, living off hot pockets and protein bars, and opening windows; I also know that we all struggle with the little things sometimes, and feeling isolated and afraid the rest of the world will judge you makes that struggle harder. I want to forgive myself for being at this point, and if I can help someone else out there forgive themselves, too, then sharing all this will have been worth it.

Alright, I've rambled enough. I hope the point was clear enough. TL;DR: this is my personal mental health journey. If I get some relief from posting and feeling heard, at least that will be something. If anyone else out there finds some sort of relief from all this, then it will have been worth it.

[transmascore]

About:

I made this blog because I was tired of seeing "trans positivity" blogs that boiled down to “aesthetic” photos of cis men and words written by cis men. I wanted to make a space that focused explicitly on trans people and trans voices, and I wanted that space to be positive, affirming, and showcased our rich history. This blog is not just about trans men - but all transmasculine-identifying individuals.

This blog is run by a 28 year old white GNC trans man. I am gay and my pronouns are they/them. If you would like a post of yours removed, please let me know. In addition, please let me know if I accidentally reblog from a user that corresponds with my DNI or is otherwise harmful, or if I have accidentally broken someone else's DNI. I try to be vigilant, but mistakes can sometimes occur.

You can interact with my blog regardless of gender identity or orientation (you do not have to be transmasc). The blog runs on a queue that is set to automatically post 10 times a day, although I sometimes manually publish posts. I am also physically disabled and, as such, occasionally take hiatuses for my health and take a while to respond to messages. I am currently on an Official Hiatus while I undergo treatment for OCD, one of the things that has hindered my ability to update with regularity.

This blog supports Palestine. 🍉

DNI:

Radfem / TERF / transphobes or transmisogynists of any kind

Exclusionists (my blog is safe for aro, ace, mspecs of all kinds, mogai, and people with "conflicting" identities such as the split attraction model)

Proshippers / Anti-Antis

MAPs / radqueer

Commonly Used Tags:

#Art - Illustrations, paintings, fabric arts, sculpture, etc. - all art.

#Commissions - Artists currently taking commissions.

#Photo - Artistic photos and selfies.

#Film - Gifsets, videos, movies, and movie-related topics.

#Music - Music by transmasc artists.

#Text - Textposts and text-based images.

#Meme - Silly posts and memes.

#Flags - Various flag designs and related aesthetics.

#Resources - Helpful information, advice, and archives. (Also look at the Resource Masterpost where I organize information into categories and link to useful websites!)

#History - Posts about trans history and trans historical figures.

#Zine / #Writing / #Poetry / #Book  - What it says on the tin.

#Stim / #Stimboard - Colorful gifs relating to a transmasc aesthetic. 

#Objects - Physical objects such as pins and banners.

#Reminder - Helpful, positive affirmation.

#News - Good news, as a refuge from the bad.

#M.A. - Fundraising and donation links. (previously #Mutual Aid)

#Merch / #Shop - Items like stickers, buttons, and shirts made by trans people for trans people; a way to support trans artists and businesses.

#Asks / #Mod Post - Answers and original posts made by me. If you would like to tip the mod, you can do so here.

Check out the Digital Transgender Archive for more trans history!

🏳️‍⚧️7/25/15 • 💉8/21/15-8/21/19; 5/20/24 • ✂️ 4/6/16 • 🪪 6/20/16

[cake-and-spades]

There hasn't been an update to this blog that is visible to me. Have you been using the new function where you pay to see some posts? Or worst case scenario are you I'll and unable to keep the blog active. If you are ill, I hope you get well soon. The main message here is that your blog is wonderful and nobody wants it to end.

Hi Anon!

I have not been making paid posts (the day I monetize a tumblr is the day I die lmao), I’ve just been on a pretty long hiatus from posting/reblogging.  I’ve been working through some pretty serious mental health issues (seems like most people have been lately, unfortunately) and I’m also recovering from some Complete Mental and Physical Exhaustion we think is being caused by Lyme disease.  All in all, it’s made having a regular post/reblog schedule pretty difficult!  I’m not sure when I’ll be back for good, but I’ll update here as soon as I feel up to it.  💚

I originally made this blog as a place to reblog/post any positivity I could to give myself a daily reminder that I liked being aro/ace (during the height of one of the many aphobia discourses), and I never expected any of y’all to find or follow it.  I’m flattered that you’re all here, and it warms my heart that y’all liked it enough to stay and even send this ask.  

Thank you for checking in and for your message!  💚

P.S. (To the anon that asked me to talk about internalized arophobia -- I’m not ignoring you!  It’s just a big topic and I’ve been a little overwhelmed by it and everything else lol.  Hopefully I’ll finish organizing and typing out all of my thoughts soon)

[dreamteamspace]

Introduction

Gen

they/him | Nonbinary | young adult | lgbtqa+ rights | I tag-talk a lot | You can call me Space! | I swear sometimes | I ship dnf

My Blogs/accounts:

@dreamspace-originals ONLY Reblogs of all my original (mcyt) content

@correct-mcyt-quotes Sideblog, posts only

(@allet-trash​ Main blog)

My MCYT Fanfics

Justice Well Served (AO3)

- “Dream has been fleeing his three persistant hunters for two months now. Life hasn’t been the same ever since the King demanded his head, and the more time goes on, the more he sees his future crumble. Maybe he never should have crossed him in the first place.

George and his two best friends have been sent on a neckbreaking mission to catch the most dangerous criminal in the kingdom of Rua. Guided by compasses and orders from the King, they’re determined to catch up very, very soon.”

(Long on-going work. I am writing this as chapter 20 is posted, and the work stands at 84.5k words currently. Here’s its tumblr post.)

Road Trip (If You Mean It) (AO3)

“George giggles despite himself. “Dream,” he says, and  Dream feels his heart firmly punch his chest. Somehow, the same effect of Sapnap looking more attractive in reality applies to George, except  fucking ten-fold. Sapnap teasingly whines something along the lines of  ‘what about me?’, but Dream barely hears him.

Dream takes a step  closer, suddenly very aware that George is as small as Sapnap is, a good  head smaller than him, only really reaching up to his chest. George has  to look up at him, a silent question in his eyes.

The glance upwards, all glittering dark eyes and dark hair and just George, is enough to slay him on the spot.

Dream doesn’t mean to sound so soft, his voice to be so drawled. “Can I hug you?”

George slides his bag off his shoulder, letting it hit the ground. “I- yeah.””

(“heat-waves-esque”  but the song is Road Trip by Dreamwastaken himself this time, because  Road Trip has been stuck in my head and Heat Waves has left me  emotionally in pain. Long on-going work. Tumblr post)

Obsidian (AO3)

- “Despite all his divine power, Dream ends up trapped in his own prison… surrounded by nothing but the darkness, his torturously immortal mind and four cold, obsidian walls.” (Complete oneshot. Please read tags/warnings on ao3 before proceeding to read. ~3.4k words. Tumblr post.)

(For more of my writing, you can check out the tag #space writes on my blog.)

✨ More details and tags/dni/personal info under the cut ✨

Info

This is a side-blog so you won’t see me in notes/likes! My main is allet-trash but I don’t post any mcyt there at all.

This blog is 95% mcyt. I lov the mcytblrs with all my heart and I’m happy to be part of this cool community. I browse the mcyt tag a lot. Feel free to yell at my inbox/DMs if u wanna.

If I leave you on read in DMs that’s cause tumblr ate my notifs, I read it and forgot to respond or I haven’t figured out what to say yet sdlkfj. I’ll get back to you eventually (But you can also toss me an ask to remind me if you want as soon as I haven’t responded within about 48 hours).

ABOUT ME

Name: I typically go by Space here, but feel free to call me whatever.

Pronouns/gender: they/them/he/him, with a preference for he/him. I’m nonbinary.

I support the lgbtqa+ community wholeheartedly: Aro/ace, Biromantic/bisexual, Trans (whether that be ftm, mtf, mtn or ftn), Lesbian/gay/their romantic versions, Panromantic/pansexual, agender, nonbinary, genderfluid and people with neopronouns. PLEASE tell me if I forgot something. Knowing me, I might have. If it’s not p*dophilia, I probably just forgot to mention it here.

Age: I’m a young adult, 18-26. When talking to someone in DMs, especially about ships/fanfic/nsfw, I might ask if you’re a minor or not to make sure I know who I’m talking to!

PERSONAL TAGS

#dreamteamspace speaks

Asks that I answer, oneshots, any original posts, when I add a lot of my own ideas/writing/opinions on posts that I reblog, and my digital art if I make any.

#space writes

In cases of oneshots, lore, ideas, sometimes vividly depicted theories and generally creative writing, I will tag posts with #dreamteamspace speaks AND #space writes.

#space art

my digital art!

#liveblogging - Whenever I’m liveblogging about a vod/stream/premier/etc.

#srb - self reblog, when reblogging a post I myself made, sometimes with an addition.

#fav - This tag saves things for me for later. Things I might want to rewatch/reread and that give me serotonin.

#ask - any asks I answer.

#anonymous ask - any anonymous asks I answer.

On tagging asks: When answering an ask, I can’t tag it immedietly, but have to go back to edit the ask and tag it (If there’s a way around this please tell me). If an ask isn’t tagged at all, wait about 20 seconds and refresh.

#negativity

Any non-positive posts, including fandom drama, valid criticism of ccs, warning posts, venting, ranting, pessimism and shipping discourse. /j’d posts that are meant positively do not fall under this tag.

I won’t reblog posts I fundamentally and fully disagree with, rather, I may fully agree with a post and still tag it as #negativity.

If you would like something tagged #negativity that is not tagged, do not be afraid to toss me an ask/DM and ask for me to tag it. If you’re not sure if it’s reasonable or not, just ask! I don’t bite.

I use this tag less than once a day on average.

#criticism

Any posts that are ALREADY tagged #negativity but are about valid criticism of ccs or the fandom, usually making a good point I agree with.

((I generally will not reblog political posts onto this blog. Instead I do that to my main blog, @allet-trash, where they are tagged #politics.))

IMPORTANT! I do not tag my swearing.

I fully understand it can be bothersome to some people, and I’ve tried to tag it on other blogs in the past and I just- don’t manage. I don’t swear every second sentence and sometimes I’ll try to tone it down. If you’re very bothered by swearing, either filter the words themselves or keep your distance.

TWs

I’ll tag general things such as blood/death/selfharm/etc. If you need something triggering tagged that is not tagged, please tell me. If I tag something #blood tw I will also tag it #blood for easier filtering. I sometimes tag mentions.

Tone indicators

I use /lh (light hearted), /hj (half-joking), /j (joking), /srs (serious)

DNI (Do not interact)

-anybody who thinks p*dophilia is a kink/orientation or in any way part of the lgbtqa community

-if you romantically ship ccs that are minors with other ccs. Same goes for shipping ccs in ways they’ve confirmed to not be okay with or if they’re not okay with shipping in general

-Please just respect CCs boundaries I beg of you it’s the least we can do

[genderqueerpositivity]

hey why don’t you ever use the lesbian flag in your posts you generally have gbt but rarely L. also what’s with the “inclusive lesbian” flag the regular pink-orange flag is inclusive because being a lesbian isn’t synonymous with being an exclusionist

I swear that no one who accuses me of never making lesbian content has ever done a search on my blog. I do make lesbian pride and positivity content. Of course, it's an easy mistake to think I don't make those things--the lesbian edits I make usually get like less than 200 notes, while the trans, ace, and queer posts I make get thousands. I make the things, no one shares them, and so no one hardly sees them.

For awhile, folks were referring to the Sappho lesbian flag (the pink/yellow/green/purple) flag as an inclusive lesbian flag, because that is what the flag was designed to be. (There used to a post on medium by the creator, but it appears to have been deleted and I know of no other copy.) Since that flag was explicitly designed to be inclusive, that's just how some of us referred to it to distinguish it from other lesbian flags in post and image descriptions. Over time, and after criticism, no one really calls it that anymore. I just made a post today where I referred to it as just a lesbian flag. I also call it the Sappho lesbian flag, as the creator took their inspiration for the colors from one of Sapphos poems.

The pink and orange flag has a complex history, and not everyone is comfortable with it because of that. Personally, I love the colors; they remind me of summer sunsets and roses and they're wonderful to make moodboards and flag edits with. When compared to other pride flags, the colors are visually unique and easily distinguishable from other pride flags.

But as a genderqueer, trans, and gray aro/ace person that has identified as a lesbian off and on over the past decade (gender and attraction are fucking complicated y'all, I won't lie; it's complicated, confusing, and sometimes anxiety inducing), I'm not fully comfortable with that flag.

The original lipstick lesbian flag has a problematic history that we're all aware of by now--and the pink and orange lesbian flag is just an adaptation of that. The pink and orange flag is literally a blending of the modified lipstick lesbian flag and the butch flag (which was just the lipstick flag without the lipstick mark, but orange). The pink/orange flag is just an adaptation of the original, a blending of the modified versions, and you can't make people ignore or forget that. Also, not everyone in the lesbian community identifies as butch or femme, and so I've seen some folks uncomfortable with the flag for that reason as well.

There is a reason that there have been so many lesbian flag redesigns--not everyone is okay with the history of the pink flag (for example: a lot of trans, nonbinary, aro, ace, and lesbians of color).

It isn't an exclusionist flag, no. But the history of the flag can't be denied. Nor can the present usage.

Seeing the twitter page of the self-proclaimed creator of the 7 stripe pink/orange flag is what has made me the most uncomfortable with that flag. And, in my personal experience, the people who go out of their way to pressure me into using that particular flag over others, are disproportionately exclusionists and/or radical feminists. I won't sugar coat that. I've blocked more TERFs with that flag as their icon than I can count; as a trans person I'm naturally going to be uncomfortable with that association. Being a lesbian is not synonymous with being an exclusionist or a TERF, but there are exclusionists and TERFs in the lesbian community, as with any other.

I don't believe the pink/orange flag is bad, that it shouldn't ever be used, or that every person who prefers it is automatically a TERF. But I also believe that not everyone has to be comfortable with that flag all the time, use it or identify with it for themselves, or create content with it. Trying to pressure every person in the lesbian community (past, present, and/or future) into embracing that flag is kind of shitty. Trying to force queer, trans, aro, ace, or bi/ply/pan people into creating content with that flag when they are uncomfortable with it's history is also shitty. I stand by this.

The real solution here? If there is some sort of content that you'd like to see, you need to either:

Politely request it of someone who is willing to create edits for free (and not be shitty to them if they refuse for personal reasons)

Commission an artist to create it for you, again nicely

Or download a couple of editing apps (I'd be happy to recommend you a few), make a blog, and share the content you want to put out into the world.

When I started this blog, the concept of positivity blogs was still brand new to this website. Content doesn't spontaneously appear overnight, it is created by real people. So many content creators have left this website, not only because of the mismanagement by tumblr staff, but because of the harassment frequently done by other tumblr users. And that really sucks, this website is worse off for it.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this blog, it’s helped me so much throughout my journey 💕 do you have any advice for feeling left out/dealing with internalized amatonormativity? I’m at that age where my friends are getting married and having kids and I’m genuinely happy for them, but as a single aroace who’s never so much as been on a date (and doesn’t ever want to) I can’t shake the little voice in my head saying there’s something wrong with me for not having those experiences, or that I’m just lying to myself about being happy single, even though I know those things aren’t true. it’s gotten to the point where I’m now avoiding social media completely - which I don’t want to do, since it’s the main way I can keep up with my long-distance friends - because it feels like every time I open it up I’m just hit with another reminder that I’m different.

Alright, so two thoughts.

First, it's good to keep in mind that people are social creatures. For better or worse we're very influenced by people around us and if everyone else around us fits into the same mold, we usually want to fit into that too. So yeah, society at large tells us we should get married and have kids, but it's a lot easier to internalize it when everyone else you know is doing it too.

So this is a lot of words to say one thing that may help a lot may be expanding your social group and get some single friends too. If you want to meet other ace or aro people, than that's even better. And if you're not sure how to meet other ace or aro people, Aces and Aros is a great resource for seeing if there's any meetups near you. Otherwise there's a lot of online communities, especially on places like Discord.

Otherwise to meet people could be things like taking a class, getting involved in a hobby, etc. But knowing other people who aren't doing the marriage and kids thing or prioritizing other parts of their life can make a big difference and help you feel less lonely.

Media is great too, try and focus more on found family type media over anything that centres on relationships as the big happy ending. So Star Trek and Kung Fu Panda for example. Anything with ace or aro characters is good too, podcasts and books are probably the best way to find ace/aro characters these days, and you can find lists. Personally I've really liked the Jughead 2015 run from Archie comics where Jughead is canonically ace and heavily coded as aro.

Following ace/aro people or positivity blogs can also help a bit.

And just in general avoid anything that's amplifying amatonormative messaging.

Which brings me to my second thought, it's probably a really good idea to avoid social media for the time being. Especially ones like Facebook and Instagram where people are doing a lot of sharing of their personal lives. And the big reason for this is that social media isn't giving us an accurate view of other people's lives. It's showing us a very curated version.

In real life relationships are hard, and can vary a lot on how good they actually are. Social media doesn't show the work, or the fights or any of the more negative side of relationships. And that can really amplify the 'oh wow I'm really missing out here' feeling.

You don't have to cut it out entirely, especially if it's your only way of keeping up with some people. But you can do things like only go on it once or twice a week, or try and manipulate the algorithms so they aren't showing you the type of posts that are bothering you, or see if you can add counter stuff to your feed to kind of water it down a bit and see some ace/aro friendly stuff. You can also take a break for a bit until you've got this more under control, and those posts shouldn't bother you as much.

So yeah, that's all stuff that should help. The other thing is that these kind of feelings aren't really something you can just turn off, even if you can logic your way to seeing that they're not accurate to real life. But the more ace/aro positive input you get and amatonormative input you get rid of, the more that should help a lot.

Sometimes other techniques can help too, fake it till you make it. Even if you don't believe it, keep telling yourself you don't need a romantic relationship/kids to be happy. Write it out a bunch in a journal. If you find yourself thinking amatonormativity might be right, consciously catch it and correct it. So if you find yourself thinking "Maybe I'm not happy single" say "I generally enjoy my life the way it is now, and relationships are not a magic potion to happiness and in fact how happy people are in relationships can vary quite a bit."

So yeah, hopefully that helps.

All the best, Anon!