#this is really cursed and I’m sorry

[rynli]

officer now is not the time to obsess about your sexuality

[kinokoshoujoart]

Marrying Carter in Harvest Moon DS Cute! (North American version)

oh… sorry no not the archaeologist, i mean Pastor Carter from Mineral Town!

(or is it Pastor Curdy….?)

teeechnically his descendant, and it causes a game over… but this is the only time we’ve been able to marry him right?

so in the girl version of HMDS, there’s two “secret” Mineral Town bachelors that you can marry by talking to them enough times on the phone. one is Mason, the guy who runs May’s Tailoring… but the second, Pastor Carter, is a bit more obscure…

i couldn’t find them uploaded anywhere so here are his 2nd* thru 10th conversations+his proposal+proposal rejection in english! if you want to see it on youtube instead here you go

*i failed to record the first conversation when it happened, and there’s no way in hell i’m resetting my whole game again (…yet), so…just know the first one was like “oh you want to talk? what should we talk about…….. …… ….. …. i can’t think of anything. well see ya………” extremely riveting stuff

he’s so obscure that i didn’t even realize that he was a bachelor until i found out about the mechanic from this japanese wiki!! (here’s an archive link to the page on him in case the page doesn’t work) all i did was test whether it worked in english since i couldn’t find any english info at all mentioning it. i’m sure others have found him… right……..

in case the links above don’t work, a small guide to holy matrimony below the cut since i can’t find one in english

it works essentially the same as the Mason marriage (so it’s just a game over, sadly…), and the steps are pretty tedious and counterintuitive, so you’re unlikely to just stumble across it… but you too can get a priest to break his vow of celibacy for you or whatever!

you will need:

at least 2,050,000 G

20 cursed tools/accessories

if you really don’t want to dig up 20 cursed things you can substitute 100x “remove a cursed tool/accessory” for blessing a cursed tool…

but, including all the cursed tools and accessories, there’s only 16… which means you will need to go dig up 4 duplicate cursed accessories using this method! yay!!! extremely pointless since you can’t sell blessed accessories until after marriage in DS for girl (at which point you can’t trigger pastor carter’s proposal)

you unlock a conversation with cardi when you spend at least 205,000 G. which means the quickest thing to do is to order removal of a cursed item five times, then bless 2 cursed items.

**be careful when blessing accessories to only equip one at a time!!! if you equip a stack of duplicate accessories, blessing that stack destroys the duplicates!!!! :( so just take 1 out of the stack and equip it!!!**

you also can’t unlock more conversations until you’ve seen the one you unlocked, so like even if you spend a million G you’ll just unlock one conversation, and you’ll need to finish that conversation and then spend 205,000 G to unlock the next one…yeah….

on the tenth conversation he abruptly reveals that he’s fallen in love with you and asks you to marry him! it ends your game, but….! on the bright side, it ends your game!!! you’re finally free from Hell Simulator!!!!

[mrzombielover]

real price hours tn

NSFW warning! f!reader, porn no plot

“yeah, just like that… goood girl…” price groans as you take him fully, taking a large puff from the lit cigar he dangles. you whimper at his words, making him chuckle as he exhales smoke in your face.

“oh, you like that, huh?” he laughs, free hand running down your waist and coming to grab a fistful of your ass. “dirty girl…” you squeak as he slaps your ass.

you mewl when you start to move, letting out a shaky breath as you bounce agonizingly slow on his cock, still adjusting to the stretch. you throw your head back, a soft moan slipping past your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck, letting a hand run through his hair and grip at the roots. he chuckles again, rolling his hips into you, drinking in every whine and gasp and moan that you give him. he takes another puff of his cigar, hand trailing from your ass around to your hip to rub soft circles into your clit. you keen at that, head falling forward onto his shoulder.

"captain!" you whine.

"shh, shh, baby," price shushes you gently, softly connecting his lips to yours as he breaths smoke out his nose. he swallows your moans as you let them into his mouth, and you feel dizzy against him as you roll your hips, greedily chasing the electrifying pleasure. you quiver around him, reduced to a whimpering mess as you're stretched out around his fat cock. he's all you can focus on, everything else dissolving but his length inside you and the smell of his musk and cigar.

"so perfect for me," he mumbles against your flesh, placing kisses before softly biting your neck.

"captain..." you moan again, bouncing sloppier now, more desperately.

"please!" it's almost a sob. you don't exactly know what you're begging for, but the plead leaves your lips anyway like a last prayer. Price laughs dryly, letting his eyes slip shut and head fall back against the headboard.

"you're so pretty when you whine. poor baby, you cant do it alone?" he teases, rolling his hips against yours. you moan louder now, falling forward slightly as he starts to fuck up into you. your back is arching against him, barley processing his words.

"come on, sweet girl," he says softly in your ear, his thumb on your clit making you throb and squeeze on him, hands searching for something, anything to grip on to. "thaaat's it.. just needed my help, huh?" he says soothingly as you dig your nails into his back.

"oh, god!" you squeak, letting a strangled cry into his ear.

"fuck! I'm gonna-" you cut yourself off with a loud moan, all strength leaving your body as Price thrusts up, repeatedly abusing your g-spot. His fingers dig into your hip, other hand clenching his cigar so hard it nearly crumbles in his grip, but not a single part of your brain cares about that now. The orgasm hits you in shaky waves, reducing you to a throbbing, soaking, shaking mess as it washes over you.

"yeah, good girl," He says softly, pressing a kiss to your temple as his pace slows. He takes one last puff before haphazardly dropping his cigar into the ashtray on his bedside table, not even giving you a chance to catch your breath before he's fully lifting you up and flipping you onto your back.

"can you give me one more, baby?"

[heavensincarnate1111]

I AM THALIA GRACE’s #1 DEFENDER ALWAYS!!! it makes me so sad when people misunderstand her choosing to be a hunter and putting the prophecy on percy.

like it was ALWAYS gonna be percy, he was always going to be the prophecy child. a main theme of pjo is that you can’t escape fate, that’s why chiron asked percy why it was important for them to know the story about kronos trying to dodge his own fate. you can’t escape it no matter what and thalia knew that better than anyone (since she literally was a damn tree, she knew her fate wasn’t that of the prophecy child)

plus, thalia’s character development is so underrated. when we first meet her, she’s very headstrong and assertive. she likes to be in charge and doesn’t have any interest cooperation, just like her father.

but as ttc goes on, she learns to work together with percy and zoe and by the end, she realizes that she wouldn’t even be able to be the prophecy child because she just isn’t cut out for it. THATS THE MAIN FOCUS OF HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!

the incident with the ophiotaurus showed her that she isn’t immune to temptation, she isn’t loyal to people, she’s loyal to power, just like her father.

and that’s the exact opposite of what percy is, which is why thalia gives up the prophecy because she knew it was never meant for her. it wasn’t out of her own selfishness (if selfishness was her motive, she would’ve kept the prophecy for herself!!!!)

and lastly, i really hate that “thalia didn’t think twice before putting the prophecy on percy but percy kept the prophecy bc he didn’t want to put the burden on nico” because it just shows even more how much thought was put into thalia’s decision.

like i said, thalia knew percy wasn’t loyal to power, he was loyal to people. he’s loyal to nico in a way and that’s why he doesn’t want the burden of the prophecy on him. that just shows EVEN MORE how much better suited percy was for the prophecy because thalia wouldn’t have been able to make that decision. and she knew that.

TLDR: they will never make me hate you thalia grace.

[myokk]

This couldn't be happening again.

He was so foolish, to believe that he could try and befriend someone new, and that things would be fine. How could he have done this to Eloise? Sebastian had long started to believe that he, too, was also cursed: somehow everyone and everything he touched turned to ashes and he couldn't bear to see the insidious tentacles of...whatever this was reaching out to wrap around Eloise as well.

Hadn't he done enough damage already? And yet...

He couldn't let go of his hold on her body, hoping against hope that he could do something to help her. He slowly turned her body around so that she was facing him, hands reaching up to cradle her pale cheeks as he whispered feverishly: please please you can't die please Eloise please it's going to be fine...

[just-a-drawing-bean]

Gigasun

[sensei-twinkles]

Dadmight Week Day 2: Homework

Just a little study session with some Dadmight help of course ✨

@dadmightweek

[cloudabserk]

also to be clear. i really like naruto and think it’s a good manga. it is not a guilty pleasure or “almost good” to me. i think kishimoto had a really compelling story to tell about grief and love and naruto and sasuke, and he got to tell it. unfortunately he also ended up talking about women and politics for a while there. but even then his clumsiness is honestly kind of interesting to me, and i don’t think it ruins the heart of the story !

[vanhelsingapologist]

Low lays the devil

[raraeavesmoriendi]

Okay but watcher originally wasn’t going to leave the old videos up. Like that is something that they backtracked on and are trying to gaslight people about. They did an interview with Variety where they told them that they were going to slowly remove their content from YouTube.

I’m trying to figure out if you’re footstamping at me or what, but babe it’s not worth it.

they’re going to do with their videos what they deem they need to bc they’re not actually our weird friends and we don’t know them like that, they’re guys who make video series who are trying to figure out how to keep a studio afloat in a landscape currently dominated by media conglomerates owned by people like jeff bezos. that is the cut and dry of it. yeah, they probably changed their minds and reversed their earlier decision, but if anything the way people are frothing at the mouth about losing their ~comfort content~ (which. yikes don’t get me started), one would think that would be a relief.

look, I had a whole essay here but I have shit to do so, short version: watcher could have strategized and rolled this whole thing out differently, and who knows, maybe more things will change. maybe they’ll change their content output schedule for their own channel. maybe they’ll add shows or cut , or re-scale for international viewer accommodation. I’d hate to be their PR person right now. but it is what it is. if you can’t pay them, don’t. do not subscribe. literally no one is forcing you. if you wanna see their stuff that badly, find someone who can and password share. they literally said it was fine.

cards on the table, I don’t even know if I’ll be getting a sub until October, or at all, bc I’m a grad student and I have bills. but I’m not about to sit here and act betrayed and hope they fail a. because I’m an adult who understands that no matter the size of the staff, providing employee benefits and insurance costs money, as does making any kind of for-fun content in our current hellscape, and b. it’s kind of shitty to watch people turn around and act like a media company is their friends personally stabbing them in the back and betraying some grand marxist ethos when it’s literally just people who don’t have things like mousecorp and netflix behind them trying to make their shit on their own terms. I’m not going to sit here and pretend they’re some rich greedy corpos trying to wring money out of us poor broke smol beans out of malice when they’re not even in the same ballpark. they’re allowed to ask to be paid for their time and their labor. if people can’t pay them, then they can’t pay them, end of. some things we just have to go without and that’s just how it shakes out; there are worse and more critical things I could be missing out on that I will be paying that money for instead.

but I’m not about to insist their stuff be free forever because ~I want it~. because that’s not what it comes down to, in the system that we currently operate and exist under. I’m not entitled to their shit like that and frankly no one is.

watching people openly hope they crash and burn bc it won’t be free anymore just makes me chalk it up to one more shitty example of how consumer culture has just made people not think about how stuff is made as long as they can get that instant gratification, but like. water is wet, news at 11.

[yersina]

given how many references there are to the ‘ancient chinese spirit’ that’s sealed in suo’s eye but also the author’s commitment to explaining artistic design choices in universe (eg characters with weird hair colors dye their hair and have natural hair color in flashbacks), i’ve decided that the funniest possible option is that suo is a chuunibyou.

[1driedpersimmon]

Scus the //blood I was having feeling and decided the best solution was to dump Sesame in blood

And also Hauchie sweeping him off his feet because oh no

(And Sesame charm for myself hehe, maybe)

[radish-vendetta]

normal and unedited red hood and the outlaws (2011) panels i promise

[isa-ah]

We both were chosen by this destiny…

Why did it have to be us?

[sweetandglovelyart]

I decided to try designing a Metadede child and a Taransusie child, this is Meta Knight and Dedede’s daughter Cintia and Taranza and Susie’s daughter Clover. Before anyone asks how they exist, my lore for them is that both of them are clones, but instead of being cloned from one person they’re cloned from a combination of two people. I have more backstory about them and explanations for their names under the cut.

I wanted to give Cintia a moon-themed name (because of the moon theme in the final battle against Meta Knight and Dedede in Kirby Fighters 2), and I also wanted her to have a Spanish name because of Meta Knight’s accent in the anime. However, I didn’t want to call her Luna since she’s a princess and I didn’t want anyone to confuse her with the My Little Pony character Princess Luna. Cintia is the Spanish version of Cynthia, which means moon/is related to the moon goddess Artemis, so I called her that instead of Luna. The little gold and black design on her crown is supposed to be a crescent moon to further convey the moon theme. I feel like Meta Knight would call her by her full name most of the time but he might call her “mija” (“my daughter” in Spanish) or “pingüinita” (“little penguin” in Spanish) as a little affectionate nickname lmao, Dedede and most of the other characters would just call her Cindee.

For Clover, I wanted to give her a floral/plant themed name since she’s the princess of Floralia (in my AU of things Taranza becomes the king of Floralia after the events of Triple Deluxe, so that makes Clover a princess). Four leaf clovers are also symbols of good luck, and each leaf of a four leaf clover represents luck, faith, hope, and love, so I thought that it would be a nice meaningful name for her. Her full name is Clover Maxine Haltmann, she has Susie’s last name since Taranza doesn’t have one and her middle name is Maxine in honor of her grandfather Max.

Clover is the first one to be cloned, when Taranza and Susie are engaged and are preparing for their wedding. They go visit another planet to establish diplomatic relations between Floralia and the aliens on that planet, and after they mention that they’re getting married soon the aliens ask them if they’re planning to have kids. Taranza and Susie explain that they can’t have kids the usual way since they’re different species and that wouldn’t work, but the aliens are experts at cloning and have technology that allows them to clone children for couples who are different species. The aliens clone Clover as a wedding gift for Taranza and Susie, not realizing that the two of them saying that they couldn’t have kids didn’t necessarily mean that they wanted to have kids lmao… it all works out though, Taranza and Susie didn’t expect to get Clover but they’re still happy to have her and they return to Popstar with her. After seeing Clover, Dedede and Meta Knight decide that they want to have a kid, so they go visit the aliens and ask them to clone one for them, and that’s where Cindee comes from. I drew Cindee and Clover as little kids here so I could give them some outfits and convey their personalities a bit, but I’ll have to draw them again as babies.

[amarimeta]

i’ve said this a million times before but truly no matter how crazy you think the crazy woman from your tv show is. she can never be nora durst.