#this is real self indulgent and weird
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mosaickiwi · 4 months ago
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For Two
Hello, content specifically catered to me. This might be the whole damn month.
Just an Angel that works at a BnB all alone with their stalker future spouse... :3c
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
You started your morning a little later than usual that Saturday, grateful for the extra half hour of sleep as you gathered ingredients. Only one pot of coffee to brew, one breakfast to make, one room to turnover while the guest went about their day touring the city.
You couldn't believe it. 
Normally, the weekend was completely booked. This one was too, except there'd been not just one, but six no-shows yesterday. Almost every single room at the inn was empty despite being fully paid for. 
Right at the usual check-in time, a single guest had shown up. Dressed in all black, a whole head taller than you, eyes that looked as tired as you felt from rushing around all day, and only a small duffel bag slung over one shoulder, they didn't look like the type of tourist you usually had this time of year. But who were you to judge?
The refreshments you set out didn't go to waste, though. He went back for seconds and thirds as you showed them to their room… then around the house… then around the garden while constantly on the lookout for other guests pulling up in their rental cars.
Oddly, he seemed more interested in you than the city. Rather than attractions on the pier or night life, the conversation flowed towards a few hobbies you found in common. Before you knew it, the sun had long since set, and no other soul had arrived for check-ins. You carried on with him a while longer, ending the night in a good mood despite the strange, once in a lifetime occurrence.
It felt like talking with an old friend. You wondered if the chat over breakfast would be just as nice.
The coffee machine loudly beeped, disturbing your current task. You stopped and poured it all into a thermos, then set it in the small woven carrier you'd prepared with a mug, creamers, sugars, and a pair of neatly wrapped shortbread cookies. You quietly took it up the stairs to your sole guest's room to set it at the door.
Just as you approached, the door opened with messy black hair and lightly flushed cheeks in greeting. He was the smallest bit shorter without the boots. No piercings in this early in the morning, but even his pajamas were all black. The tiny ghosts on his pants were cute. 
The man's blue eyes came to life at the sight of you and he smiled. "Mornin'," they spoke in that soft, raspy voice you'd gotten acquainted with yesterday.
"Beat me to it. Good morning, Ren." You smiled back with ease. "Did you sleep well?"
"Perfect, actually." They yawned, eyeing the basket in your hands as they stretched. "All that f'me before 7am.? Fuck, y'might really be an angel." He paused and rubbed at his lower lip. "Sorry."
You held the basket out to him. "I heard nothing. No worries," you said. It was hard to tell if he was apologizing for cursing or flirting. Was he flirting? 
He took the carrier, but still stood in the doorway, drumming his fingers on the sides as if thinking of what to say. "Soo… how d'you usually do these cute little coffee baskets for two people?"
"Two?" You hurriedly racked your brain. You were pretty sure his reservation was for one. He did have the door code already. Maybe he let his companion in late last night?
Did you need to make more coffee? Or tea? Did they have dietary restrictions you didn't know about for breakfast?! 
Shit, shit, shit. 
You never got to greet them and get their name and if they were still sleeping it'd be rude to wake them up just to ask and you couldn't expect a five star review anyways at this point but this—
"Ah, I meant…" The man interrupted your silent panic with a surprisingly nervous tone. He shifted slightly, fingers tapping even louder. "If ya wanted t'join me. I mean, I'm the only one here so I thought y'wouldn't be too busy with breakfast."
Ohh. He was flirting. Your job be damned. 
"Breakfast would have to be a little late… but if you don't mind, okay."
Ren smiled a lot brighter this time. "Great. I'll get changed and meet you downstairs in a few, yeah?"
You wanted to tell them there was no need to change with how adorable his PJs were, but kept it to yourself. You couldn't tease them like that yet. "Sure thing."
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
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pien-art · 2 years ago
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happy pride to binder moiraine my most beloved <3 lan and moiraine exploring gender together <3 rj i am ignoring your extreme binaries xoxo
(click image for optimal quality!)
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bookshelf-in-progress · 1 year ago
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Stars and Shadows: A Fairy Tale
An extremely experimental piece I've decided to submit for @inklings-challenge.
If you wait patiently, there will come a day--in a month, in a year, in a hundred-thousand hopeful days--when you will stare outside into the deep blue-black of a cold winter night and not be able to tell the snowflakes from the stars. It will call to your heart and pull you from the warmth and light of home--wrapped up in coats and boots, scarves and gloves, and one thick woolen blanket thrown over your shoulders like a cloak--in the hope of becoming, even for a moment, a part of the beauty of this moment of creation.
The cold of night will bite your face and steal your breath, but in a moment, you will find yourself racing across the white expanse, snow crunching beneath your boots, soul expanding toward the shining heavens in one upward rush of joy. As soon as home and family are safely out of view, you will slow from your sprint and find yourself content to amble, and wonder, and be, with the shy, slender moon watching patiently above.
You will carry no light, for the world will be light, with the moon and the stars and the snow wrapping all the world in bright illumination. Your breath will shine before you in delicate white clouds, your very life made visible for the fragile, lovely thing it is. In the silence you will hear the snowflakes fall, hear the hushed sound of your footfalls, feel every beat of your strong and pulsing heart.
And then, if you close your eyes and listen long enough, just at the moment when your heart is near to breaking from the beauty of it all, you will hear a cry. For a moment you might think it a phantom of thought, your own soul giving voice to all the aching loveliness that surges through you, but then, you will hear it again. Over and over, thin and wailing, the cry of a child newly born horrified to find the world so great and cold.
The sound will travel like an arrow in that crisp, cold air, and you will follow it without hesitation--over a rise, down a hill, through a twisting stand of trees and countless banks of snow, and at last to an old well, such as you've only seen in illustrations--a construction of wood and stones, covered with moss and aged with time, that you can say with certainty was not there a day before.
Standing by that well will be, not an infant, but a child. A little girl three years old, reaching desperately for the rim of the well and crying for water. Everything about her--her skin, her hair, her eyes--will be white as the snow she stands in, and she will gleam faintly with the light of the stars above, and she will wear nothing but thin, white rags, torn at the edges and singed at the ends, a ragged line of ash the only color in her form.
You will notice all these things and think it strange, and then you will forget everything because the child is crying. You will find a wooden bucket on a chain by the well, and in sheer desperation you will throw it down, though there will be nothing but ice in an open well on a night so cold.
But to your shock, you will hear a splash, and you will pull up a bucket full of liquid water that looks like light itself. You will give it to the girl--you would not dream of taking even a drop for yourself--and she will drink with cupped hands and lapping tongue, and gaze at you with silent gratitude.
When she has drained the last drop, the faint gleam of light around her form will become a white glow. She will seem a bit taller--perhaps a bit older than you first assumed--and for the first time, she will seem to feel the cold. She will shiver and wail and curl in on herself, and you will suddenly understand--or at least bless--your mad impulse to take a blanket out into the night. You will take it from your shoulders and wrap it round her form, head to foot, with only her shining white face peering out. Then you will take her in your arms, settle her on one hip, and carry her across the vast expanse of snow toward your home.
It will be a long trip--you have walked a long way--and before you have gone far, the child will grow too heavy for your strength. You will look to her and find that the blanket you have wrapped around her no longer seems so large, and clings more closely to her form--like something between a deep blue dress and cloak--so you will feel safe in setting her on the ground and letting her walk beside you, her thin white hand in yours.
You will wonder for a moment if you've fallen into a dream, for all seems so strange and perfect--the light, the snow, this silent child--but the bite of the cold and the burn of your legs will assure you that you remain in the waking world. Yet you won't think to question the child--who or what she is, or from whence she arrived--because she is so like the snow and the light and the stars of this crisp, cold night--things that do not become, but simply are. Your wonder make peace with the night's mystery.
The way back will seem longer than you remember--the trees taller, the stars brighter, the air colder. The night will seem large and you so very small, but you will not be afraid, for there is one beside you too innocent for fear. You will walk in the tracks you left on your way, stretching between footfalls that seem much more distant than you expected. Yet the moon will look larger, and you will take comfort in that. You will need the comfort before long.
For just when you are in the very midst of the trees, you will hear a sound from the shadows--dark and dangerous, like the growl of a wolf or the rumble of a distant train. And then the shadows will seem to take shape, growing arms and legs, teeth and claws, and they will gather in a great black wall that blocks the way you mean to take.
The voice that speaks will be less of a voice, and more like the clench of fear in your chest, the monster that mocks you as you lay awake at midnight with all the shame and sorrows of your wasted youth.
We will have the child.
You will know that the voice promises death for disobedience, and you will know to the depths of your soul that you would rather die than obey. You will hold the child close, and she will cling to your neck, and you will sprint with all your strength back toward the well. The shadows will surge and swirl around you, grabbing at your clothes, tearing at your face, and once--only once--drawing blood that drips a red path upon the snow.
You will sprint through the snow and twine through the trees, each step seeming a mile, each moment a lifetime. The shadows will gather--closer, darker--and the light of the child in your arms will fade with fear.
At last, you will see the well at the base of the hill, seeming to shine in a circle of light. If you can reach it, you know, you will be safe--every childhood game seeming suddenly like training for this very moment.
And yet, at the very edge of the clearing--somehow you always knew this would happen--you will lose your footing and fall face-first into the snow. You will shield the child's face from the snow by holding her close, and you will shield her body with your own. The shadows will fall upon you, tearing you to pieces. Your very body will seem to dissolve in pain.
Through their snarling, the shadows will promise relief, if you will only relent--the child's life for yours. Not so great a sacrifice, is it, for a child you've known for mere minutes? These words will tear at your mind, but it is your heart that will reply, drawing strength for defiance from you know not where. And you will. not. move.
You will feel the night fading--the stars and the snow and even the cold growing distant, like some faraway world in which you have no part. Even the pain will seem like something happening long ago and far away to some ancient hero in a dusty, tattered book. Yet you will feel the child beneath you, her beating heart still alive against yours, and that hope will keep you clinging to the tatters of breath in your body.
Then, at last, there will be light. So bright that it blazes white even through your closed eyes. The shadows will crumble like ash, retreat like the dark from a flame, and the destruction of your battered form will cease. The child you shelter will cry with joy.
A gentle touch will lift your shoulder so you lay on one side, and attempt to pull the child from your arms.
With a cry of defiance, you will hold her with what remains of your strength.
But then a voice will flow through you, lovely and feminine, like water and winter and moonlight given tongue. Peace.
Peace will come, perfect and pure, and you will release the child without fear. But without her presence, your need for strength will fade, and all your pain will come rushing in upon you, dark and hot and crushing, and you will have no strength to hold it back.
Absurdly, you will be most aware of an all-consuming thirst. Tears will pour from you--precious, wasted droplets. Then it will be you, and not the child, who cries for water. Then it will be the child who will draw water from the well and put the shining liquid to your lips.
You will drink, and the first mouthful will bring the cold climbing back upon you. But you will welcome it as re-entry into this world, and drink deep, again and again, until you find yourself freezing, but wholly alive, your wounds as if they never were. You will sit and gaze up at a woman dressed in midnight blue, as white and glowing as the child, who clings to her as she would to a mother, and you will find yourself alight with the same glow.
You have served my daughter well, that lovely inner voice will say again. Come and be at peace.
She will turn your eyes toward the heavens, and offer you a place there in the shining light, far from the troubles of this dark world. It will draw you as the snowflakes drew you from the warmth of home, so many long moments ago. Yet you will find yourself standing, and bowing your head, and with utmost humility refusing the honor. You will not leave this world, be there ever so many shadows, while there is still more beauty to behold.
The woman will smile, pleased with your answer, and the light surrounding you will fade. And you will see your home alight on a nearby hillside, waiting for your return.
You will say your farewells to the child--who embraces you with gratitude--and turn your path toward home. The child and her mother will do the same, fading as the sunset fades with the coming of night. And you will notice two stars in the sky above where you had noticed none before.
You will smile up at them and walk home--warm, alive and fearless. There will be no more shadows lurking along your path. But high above, and all around, you will know there is--and always will be--light.
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esmes · 1 year ago
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because i was asked... i will probably tweak this forever and ever but here it is! playlist for my best worst gal. ♡♡♡
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 1 month ago
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i like the concept of a huskerdust overlord!husk au but like. it is very much just being sold to one direction
#random thoughts#hell#it's why i prefer it being a fantasy angel has rather than like. a full on au#it just FEELS like a very self indulgent fantasy which he wouldn't want to happen in real life for a variety of reasons#mostly being it seems like a lot of people make husk like? VERY protective of angel in their aus#which of course in canon angel would object to because he doesn't like being seen as someone who needs to be protected#he desires agency! he wants the room to make his own choices and not have others make them for him!#and he especially doesn't want other people coddling him and viewing him as inherently weak due to his occupation/trauma/whatever#which is why i think it'd be cute if he fantasizes about husk being protective of him :]#also the whole scenario is very. it just feels like a fantasy he would have as a result of valentino's abuse#like he's fantasizing about someone he knows and cares about taking the role of his abuser#to have someone in his life who holds that same power over him yet he does not fear#since he's in a part of his life where he can't imagine possibly escaping valentino#i bet he fantasizes about husk winning his contract and then setting him free#angel is allowed to have a little lack of agency in his fantasies. as a treat#also there's some darker fantasies thrown in there still centering husk which he probably feels very weird about#immediately he feels VERY guilty and then the guilt wears off and eye contact with husk just feels weird for like a week#if husk were to ever even be aware of the general concept of angel's fantasies i think he'd go in a#in like a stolitz direction? like how the latest episode of helluva boss made stolas and blitzo equals in terms of status for the first time#like husk would own angel's contract and then he'd lose his soul to alastor OH MY GOD#HE WOULD JUST FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM BEING IN ALASTOR'S SHOES#LIKE HOW IN DAD BEAT DAD HUSK TRIES TO GO 'your soul is owned too' AND THEN ALASTOR GETS HIS ASS#god i can make this au SO about their own respective traumas#he'd fantasize about owning angel's contract and then he loses his soul to alastor and now he and angel are roughly equals#and then they comfort each otherrrr#very like. one-note soft comfort fantasy. he's a simple guy
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kradogsrats · 7 days ago
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in the war for humanity's future existence we need every edge, every bit of assistance
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gifti3 · 1 year ago
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another thing I enjoy about asmos character is that we get hints about some of his past romantic relationships
Im sure the other brothers have engaged with others in the past but actually getting to read about it is interesting to me
#obey me asmodeus#i wanna learn everything about this character hah#it makes him feel more real the more info i get#also this info in particular makes sense for his type of character#being the avatar of lust and having so much love in his body#and ik it sounds weird cause#“ahh this is a self indulgent dating game we dont wanna hear about them being interested in others or having past lovers"#but i think it ENHANCES the importance of asmo falling for MC in the end (thats the whole point of “flirty” types tho)#also im nosy...im down to know!#trying to date changed my brain chemistry#me before would have not cared i think#anyways i refuse to believe none of the brothers other than asmo havent been interested in anyone other than mc#like only mc?#are u sure....#idk how to say it without sounding mean#but....thousands of years of existence and u never looked at anyone else other than mc?#no crushes even?#if they were aromantic it would make sense but they aren't cause mc (and even then people can experiment)#ik its fictional self indulgence but...it feels so unrealistic i cant take it seriously#when a character is only capable of falling in love with mc#and apparently NO ONE ELSE in the whole wide world#im already like “...hmmm naur” but now factor in that the character is not human and has been around for a very long time....#like theyve had to met so many people by now please be for real right now#well thats my spiel but i feel like i can keep rambling about this honestly
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Stampy: We should put Snake's toothbrush in the toilet.
Squid: Or we could put seven little rubber snakes in their base.
Stampy: Or we could turn all their speakers up to full volume while they're sleeping!
Chache: Guys, if we're gonna mess with Green Team, can we do it in a way that won't give them heart attacks?
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ratmoved · 2 years ago
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Dirk Strider...
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burymeinwillow · 1 year ago
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#IM NOT DONE!!!#When my mom got sick and died- during that period I only watched Bonanza. It was my escapeism. It made me happy watching it-#it made me laugh during a time my life was falling apart around me. I was loosing the person most important to me -#I dont remember much from that time but I do remember how much I watched that silly western and how happy it made me#and that's what it means to me!!! that's why Bonanza is so dear to me!!! and it breaks my heart that I was scared to be more self-indulgent#with it. I was led to believe that I shouldn't like it. That I was strange for liking such an old show. My closest friend made feel weird-#about it. So Bonanza being my fav show was like... my little secret. I felt if I told people I liked it they wouldn't wanna be my friend.#Then Juni became my friend and she just changed all of that. She swooped in and just 'Hey you should be more self-indulgent!'-#and I remember thinking 'Is that okay?' She encouraged me about everything. About drawing... about Bonanza... she made it possible for me t#do things i thought were impossible. Like traveling to the US alone and go to a Bonanza Event?? She changed my life.#Made me realize it's okay to be self-indulgent. Made me realize liking niche and obscure things is NOT wierd.#as you can tell im very passionate about this#Juni came into my life during a very dark time and she changed my life and she changed me#and now im sitting here giggling and drawing this silly stupid cowboy from this silly old western#AND NOW IM REAL ANNOYING ABOUT BONANZA HEHEHE
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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 year ago
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my most beloved ocs who started out in a gravity falls fanfic and ended up being the basis of my first novel turn ten years old today <3 i mean i was 14/they were 14 ten years ago, so now they’re 24 like me ig
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scarletcomet · 2 years ago
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does anyone else ever feel like maybe they need to be hospitalized or weren’t ready to be discharged from the hospital?
#i was discharged almost a week ago now and i felt really ready to go#i have a much better mindset now after the second hospitalization#but the suicidal thoughts and self-harm urges are a lot more difficult to deal with in the real world where i can hurt myself#i still feel very depressed pretty much always but at the same time my mood has been pretty ok#regardless of how i'm feeling and what i'm doing i get those intrusive detailed suicidal thoughts#i want to do more research and stuff just like out of curiosity or to indulge myself a little#but that's the kind of behavior that gets you sent to the emergency room and admitted to the hospital#i feel ok and not actively suicidal but at the same time i want to plan even though i don't want to go through with it at the moment#if i tell my doctor or therapist at my treatment program this i'm worried that they will send me to the emergency room (again)#it would be weird because i feel ok even though im having these thoughts#similar to how i felt last time i was sent to the ER but i wasn't sure if i could keep myself safe in the long run last time#idk. i feel like i can keep myself safe but at the same time i want to plan and get ready#what is wrong with me#i can think about the future and am starting to see a future for myself (at least for the next year) so why do i feel this way?#i need to write some of this shit down and talk to the therapist at my treatment program tomorrow#i feel like it might be too triggering for others to bring up in process group but i do kinda want feedback from my peers
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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Also me loosely researching the classical music industry in japan and finding some westerner getting ripped to SHREDS in some reddit post. I was legit reading this comment aloud to my coworker bc I was aghast at how brutal they were being (but also kinda amused bc they were. Kind of right.)
#speculation nation#i say loosely researching bc im not going for 100% realism in my self indulgent band au fanfic#but i still wanna have an idea of what the real life music industry looks like#the original asker was someone who was like 'i wanna combine my dreams of being a professional musician & living in japan. any tips?'#tho like much longer than that. talking about the plan they were thinking of and all that shit#there were ppl who were like 'literally Why Japan'(bc of anime probably)#& then the brutal reply from someone living in japan that tore INTO it#one of the biggest things being that Most people in professional orchestras in japan are japanese. for several reasons#like paying for visas not being smth the orchestras would wanna do. just easier to keep with ppl from japan#this response detailing how they could Possibly go about this if they were legit serious#but then being like 'but thats not why you want to do this is it?' & calling out the weird glorification of japanese culture#and i was just like Dammnnnnnnn#me and the employee both being old anime fans who are learning japanese for the enjoyment of it#but neither of us having any illusions about japan being the end all be all & thus wanting to Move There#id love to visit someday but i dont want to Move There. it's apparently pretty hostile towards foreigners overall anyways#but yeah i almost felt bad for this person. but Also. this response gave me some very useful info for my research#like yes sorry OP that u just got murdered. but this person just supplied the info i was looking for so Hell yes
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our-reality · 2 years ago
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ok achievement got i'm brainrotting about c+ so hard
#SEE CUZ CALLING HIM C+ IS WEIRD TO ME NOW but anyways#i think he's so so silly but he's also profoundly sad but like. in a new way#his story is like. weirdly the inverse of python's???? like they left their families and began to indulge in new identities#so as to not be found#but. ohhhh my god okay buckle in#python did so because he didn't want his old family to find him. c+ did so because he'd be jailed for working age restrictied jobs#python hates its old family. everything c+ does is for his family#in taking on a 'fake' identity python discovered his real self separate from from its identity as a god and as a part of his old family#meanwhile c+ so frequently loses himself in the fake identity he has to wear in order to help who he loves#that he genuinely forgets his real name sometimes#and it crushes him so much when it happens. it crushes him that java's friends with a stranger instead of him#because he connects with java so much. they're just two kids who lost their way and now they're here when they don't even want to be#and it crushes him that he can't embrace who he is because if he gets too comfortable if he tells the wrong people the wrong things#the fragile web he's built under himself will collapse#and yet. he's more himself than he knows. and he finds new things that he works into both his c+ persona and the person underneath#and by opening up to his best friend about all of this he finds out that c+ and him aren't really that different after all#and while he's ready to start embracing the real him with more people... he doesn't regret his time as c+.#after all. he wouldn't be the real valentino without him.#(valentino is his real name)#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#I LOVE YOU PARALLELS I LOVE YOU ACCIDENTAL FOILS ILY ILY ILY#anyways#<- i wanna experiment with calling him c+ but until i make a final decision i'm keeping his tag as c4#c+
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mimikinyuu · 2 months ago
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maaaaannnnnnnnnnn. have to go on a short trip in a few weeks
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