#this is pre rock murder btw

[sapphofrog]

so normal abt academy thoschei rn ‼️

[aphroditesmoon]

okay this is sad hehe but can i request something angst no fluff no comfort with the reader just straight up dying during the war and in the arms of their husband (aka jace) cause i have been craving for jace just being... beautiful and broken (?) like me idk ig this is too specific but i'm just so sad and i want a cry boy because i'm crying and depressed btw i love your writing ily ⁠♡♡♡⁠♡⁠♡⁠♡⁠♡ does this makes sense?? english is not my first language srry

thoroughfare

jacaerys velaryon x reader

warnings: angst, death.

a/n: hello sweet angel, thank you for your kind words, I hope you like this<3

°°°

Before you met Jace, you had a terrible fear of heights. Not even sailing you could handle.

You were quite babied by both your parents, being their only child and the light of their life.

Nothing less than a prince would be good enough for their little girl, and nothing less of a prince was what you got.

The prince however, as much as he loved to spoil you, was not the coddling type.

It only felt like yesterday when he made you strike a deal with him, dragon riding with him, and in return he'd take you with him to see snow for the first time.

It was a fair deal, You suffered the brutal wind and terrifying heights on top of Vermax, and when the journey ended, you found yourselves on a stack of snow in am abandoned state near Winterfell, not quite in their territory.

You remember feeling bolder since that day, requesting he reaches you how to use a sword the next evening.

His cautiousness around you with the metal frustrated you, resulting in you accidentally slicing a strand of his hair before knocking him over as you trip on a rock.

Barely caring about his hair, your falling incident became years long jokes he makes sure to tell everyone he meets as he starts introducing you as his wife to them.

When war became nearer, you begged him to return to the safety of your mother's home, insisting it'd be safer for you and the growing babe in your stomach.

His anxiousness resulted in rejection at first, but when the news of his aunt Helaena's death spreads after the murder of her children, panic overcame him, and he agreed.

You never reached home,

Jacaerys thanks the gods that the ravens reached Dragonstone before your departure. Both your parents have been murdered in their homes as your household was set on fire.

He remembered how you knelt by the table when the words left his mouth.

How you stared at him, mouth agape, waiting for him to call it off as a joke, except it wasn't.

And he remembers how your whole body shook in his arms and your tears soaked through his shirt, body turning limp as you sobbed till you fainted againts his chest.

Since that day, you barely left your room.

Despite having less risks of physical harm, your mental state was receding.

The queen herself, sat by your side one afternoon, Her voice calm and steady as she tells you stories of her childhood tales with her own deceased parents, and to stories of your husband growing up.

Though your mind and heart was numb and your body weak, the babe inside you was strong, you recalled.

A prideful smile graces the queen's face as she succeeds in pulling a laugh out of you.

Her grin disappears as it came when you gasped out aloud, hands coming around your belly.

"What is it- Shall I fetch the maesters?" She questions immediately.

You shook your head and grabbed her hand in yours before putting it on top of your stomach.

"Oh it moved- I felt it!" The babe kicked again before you could continue, pulling an awed laugh out of your mother on law.

You smiled throughout the night as you revelled in the bliss if pre-motherhood in your husband's arms.

"We need to think of names" You mumbled to him, sleepy. He hummed againts your temple before kissing it.

"You are late, I've already been narrowing down options since you were declared with child." You snorted at him.

"What if it's a girl?" You asks.

"Visenya, a name fit for a queen." He suggests.

You shook your head and moved upwards to prop yourself on your elbow to hover over him. "No I meant- What- what would her fate be if she was born a girl." Your husband frowns at your sudden panic and his hands finds your waist as he pulls you down to him.

"Her fate is that she'd be a daughter of a pair of parents that would kill to protect her. Just as they'd kill to protect eachother."

He was right about one thing. You would kill for eachother.

And mostly you would kill yourselves for eachother.

Out of all the things he remembered, this, he wish he never does.

He couldn't breath as he begs his eyes to call it's trick of light. He swears loudly before demanding Vermax to fly down immediately.

You were not in the battlefield, as you shouldn't be. But that's what the greens had expected, that's what they wanted.

Vermax lowers himself as he roars out fire to the rider of the biggest dragon.

"Kill me and you kill her." Aemond spits out, a hand holding onto you in front of him on Vaghar while the other holds a dagger to the veins on your neck.

"Kill her and you'll wish I'd have killed you too." His voice booms loudly through the sky.

"A child for a child-" Aemond starts.

"But a wife could do as well."

Jacaerys' screams spread through the sky as the dagger slits through your throat and he watches you fall down the beast of a dragon.

Vermax storms towards Aemond and blazes fire towards him before retaliation could be thought of.

"Vermax enough!" Jace screams.

Your name replaces Vermax' in his rage of shouting as he sobs out for you.

His dragon dives down immediately towards where your body landed.

Jace wastes no time getting off of him as he scrambles towards the pieces of your body.

Your head was split from your neck and your eyes bulged out wide.

He feels his chest squeezes as he screams for the mercy of death from the gods.

His head finds your already cold and pale chest and his hands pushes and trembles over your body for a sign of a pulse.

You remained unresponsive while he curses himself and the world.

A gasp was heard in front of him, he lifts his tear stricken face to stare into his step father's face.

"She's still here, I can feel her, she's not gone-"

The prince consort pulls Jace away from your cold body by his arm and shook him hard.

"Jacaerys listen to me, she's dead, it's no use-"

"NO-" The unbridled rage in him pushes him to shove the prince off.

"She's not gone, she can't be." Daemon's face turns helpless as he watches Jace runs back down to your deceased self, tearing his vest open, trying and failing to wrap it around your broken and bleeding neck.

"Help me-" His voice was hoarse as he sobs out for his stepfather's help.

"Gods you're fucking useless, you're all fucking useless." He rants as the vest tuns dark by the colour of your blood drenching it.

"Why aren't you helping her? Why is no one helping her!" He cried out, the words drowned out as mumbles as his buries his face on your stomach, his hands no longer holding the cloth to your throat.

His whole body shudders as he screams out from his lungs, face red in anger and desperation.

"Jace-" Daemon's voice begins again and he feels the prince's light touch on his shoulder.

"We will take her back, She'll be given a proper burial-..." Everything that was spoken from then on was turned on deaf ears.

His beloved was gone.

Her hands were no longer warm. And her eyes no longer bright, and he will never hear the music of her laugh ever again.

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

not an ask really, but you should totally rewrite your old BEN drowned FF! I'd love to see how much you've changed as a writer while still getting the old nostalgia from the original!

Oh god the OG readers have found me-

But in all seriousness I have been playing with the idea of a rewrite, but the thing I’m struggling the most with rn is my new fanon interpretation of BEN is so insanely wildly different from what 12 year old me saw ‘em as. In all honesty I’m not sure the internet’s edgiest troll ghost that lives in your WiFi router would make for a fun romantic companion lmaoooo

12 year old me just saw BEN as the flirty murder gamer bf and current me sees ‘em as flirty murder gamer twisted fucking cycle path that loves being a malewhore manipulator. In a completely separate one off fic I did recently BEN’s only motives were enjoying the suffering of others so uh. Idk how well that’ll go for a romance route

There’s also the underlying issue that most people in fanon see BEN as a child (which is totally valid btw, if u have child/pre teen/teenager BEN headcanons you rock) and I’m not super comfy writing pairings with characters who are mostly seen as children, even though my BEN is meant to be this ageless entity inhabiting the digital realm.

Don’t get me wrong I still absolutely fucking love BEN as a character, but as it currently stands I can’t really find a way to put ‘em in a slash reader fanfic without going against most of my current HCs

I am however heavily playing with doing an EJ fic in a similar (obviously updated) style because he was also one of middle school me’s favorites.

Good fucking lird this response got so long so fast, but I hope this satisfies your craving for potential BEN update stuff from me! And in all honesty I probably will make a HC post about BEN specifically soon, so be on the lookout for whenever that decides to materialize >:3

(And psssst if anyone wants to see current literature stuff from me, check out my AO3! I’m StarLight37 on there)

[praphit]

Black Adam: the psychopath we need right now

Of course The Rock belongs in a comic book cinematic universe. What the hell took so long?! 

There are a bunch of characters I think he could have played well:

Deathstroke.

The Winter Soldier (imagine The Rock growing out his hair:)

Apocalypse (no way that movie sucks with The Rock in it)

(I can’t stop laughing at this GIF, and J.Law’s “Oh, Shit!” face.

The Rock could have played a jacked Professor X (tired of only being the brains)

Or he could have simply played himself. I’d buy that when Batman is in trouble he runs to The Rock.

But, he's perfect for Black Adam!

A long ass time ago, there was a lil boy, born into slavery, in a Middle Eastern country called Kahndaq. Him and his people were slaving away trying to locate a mystical crown made of Vibranium... sorry, I meant Eternium... or was it Krytponite?? Doesn't matter.

This crown has the power to... unleash hell on earth or something. Which... why would anyone want to do that? If you're a bad guy, I get ruling the earth or even destroying the earth. But, to bring a literal, demonic, Hell on earth, doesn't seem productive for anyone... except for Hell. But, anyway, this lil boy, one day, says to himself "Slavery sucks! I want to be free!"

If only it were that simple to be free, kid (though according to Ye, it is).

Some ancient wizards show up and grant this boy powers. They have a habit of doing this.

Why?! Is it just me, or does giving children the powers of gods seem stupid? But, who can tell wizards anything??

This now super-powered, young boy finds his father (The Rock) in peril, one thing leads to another, and SHAZAM!

  Black Ass  Adam is born!

Buuuuuut, he has a bit of a temper, so he has to be locked away, until the movie comes out.

It's now the present day, and Black Adam is here to protect his people... eventually. He's kind of a psychopath. I mean that in the nicest way possible. He's a charming psychopath tho... well, not really. I mean, The Rock is charming AF, but.... I guess we'll crown B.A. with the same charm as the actor playing him; why not??

But, he needs help from some "friends" (I use that word loosely):

Cyclone

Ant Squasher or Musher... or something

Dr. Strange Fate

And The Winged Black Man

( I think I may have mixed up a name or two in there, but it doesn't really matter)

These weirdly familiar characters are able to annoy B.A. enough to convince him to limit his anti-hero murdering spree long enough to save the day. Although, I kinda think he enjoyed the killing more than saving the day.

This movie has everything you'd want:

super-powered freaks, a video game level of action and explosions, evil labs, zombie vibes, some tomb raider action, demons/end of days bs, international politics, the funny fat guy, the strong and smart single mom character (in the credits, she's (a Middle Eastern woman) named ISIS... I know these comic books were written a while ago, but... still kinda bleeped up), it's got tear-jerking self-sacrifice, and some Lord of the Rings vibes.

What more could you want??!

All held together by the cornerstone, being The Rock!

  Whew! That's some good sex right there!

However :) There are some issues.

For one, if you suffer from comic book/action movie fatigue, then don't go anywhere near this movie. It's not trying to be anything else but that.

This movie is a Thanksgiving gravy dump of CGI. Is that a good or bad thing? - depends on your tastes, I suppose. This is some of the easiest money The Rock had ever made. CGI did all of the work. In fact, CGI had to work harder than ever to make The Rock look weaker (pre-powers). Dwayne Johnson doesn't even have all that much dialogue. He doesn't need to be the straight man in a comedy duo. Doesn't need to be in shape.... of course he’s in ridiculous shape, being The Rock, but he didn't NEED to be. Shoot, the powers of CGI even squeezed Pierce Brosnan (loved btw) into spandex.

The CGI does get bad though, towards the end. Like, not She-Hulk bad, but in the same ballpark.

There's a lot of slomo. NO, I MEAN A LOT! It's like someone discovering a new IG filter for the first time, and they always feel compelled to use it. Enough with the beautifying filters already! You know damn well you don't look like that. You're not fooling anyone:)

The Rock, though his people all seem to have Kahndaqian accents, he does not. C'mon, Dwayne! Be an actor! On second thought, I'm now picturing The Rock using this accent throughout the whole film, and in my mind, it turns into a comedy. So, I'll take that criticism back.

It's also a lil long. I wish they would have used the extra length to make this movie less dreary. I mean, I had fun with it, but... DC still hasn't learned how to balance out their tones yet (though James Gunn should be able to help that moving forward). Idk what's in Marvel's secret sauce, but if they had produced Black Adam, part of me wouldn't have felt like it needed a strong drink after watching.

There were two messages driven home by ISIS (still feels wrong to call her that):

1) "Hey, outsiders! Stay the bleep out of OUR business!" - that message,  I agree with.

2) Black Adam is not a hero, but he's the ANTI-Hero that they need.  

Idk, people. I get that sometimes you've gotta murder people (not the best message for the kids, but whatever). But, don't we have enough anti-heroes?? If everyone is an anti-hero... what's an anti-hero? You know?? I mean Black Adam murders more people in this movie than "the bad guy". He murders more people in this movie than Michael Myers murders in "Halloween Ends".  

At what point in the sport of killing, does one become a villain??

That being said, I get it, and I like it!

Considering the slavery of their people. Considering people coming at you with guns. And considering demonic forces rising up against you (not like you can take demons to court) - yeah, sometimes, you've gotta kill people.

If you're looking for a dumb comic book action flick (for the kids? - sure), fueled by revenge - The Rock delivers.

Grade: B-

They also fixed the problem (at least I personally have had) with characters that are way too powerful. He wasn't dull. I mean his character kinda is, but... throw in The Rock as a heavily (and I mean HEAVILY) flawed character, and you've got some entertainment. I hope Marvel is paying attention concerning Captain Marvel 2.

Let's give Capt a functional coke and drinking problem, and make The Rock her bartender, and we'll have a less dull winner.

[sumechiayuu]

Toko and Sayaka for the asks 👀

Toko my worstie Toko ^_^ smelly

favorite thing about them: Is it the fact that she's smelly her design her voice in both languages her cringe and lack of swag is it her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

least favorite thing about them: how her DID was handled 💔 also you know that scene in chapter 6 where Makoto gives everyone hope LOOK I LOVE GENOCIDE JACK however I'm depressed because I want Toko to have hope 💔

favorite line: If it was, she would be totally decomposed...just like your brain!

brOTP: Tokomaru and I like her little friendship with Makoto 😭😭

OTP: tokomaru again I think it can go both ways yippee

nOTP: I don't like her with byakuya it's so cringe in my eyes 💔

random headcanon: Post-UDG before she like Truly tries to change everytime Toko/Komaru had convos Toko would have no idea how to start because she has the social skills of a rock. So she would just gossip about the other survivors

unpopular opinion: DR1 Toko is delightfully cringe everyone’s just being mean because they're afraid of girls who fail at Tasks. ❤️

song i associate with them: this is hard tbh. Random three days grace song my music taste is so limited 💔

favorite picture of them:

SAYAKA!!!! OUGH the masked idol...

favorite thing about them: The way she hides behind a mask also love her sprites they convey a lot of emotion

least favorite thing about them: Tbh, not sure. I love her ❤️

favorite line: Chili oil. (she was so real for this)

brOTP: Her and Makoto they are so silly together ^_^

OTP: Fukazono (OK HERE’S MY 5 MILLION THESIS ON HOW THEY INTERACTED PRE-TRAGEDY IN MY MIND)Sayaka and Mikan are in the library fangirling over Toko’s books and then Sayaka vents about struggling to think of a song for her to sing to Makoto as a gift for him helping her out with homework. Milan then goes “oh what if you asked Toko to help you write a song? She's really good at books...” and then Sayaka runs over to Toko and goes “Hey Toko can I ask you something” and before Toko refuses Sayaka goes anyway “Can you help me write a song for me to sing to Makoto ^_^” and Toko is FREAKING OUT INTERNALLY and she agrees except she purposefully makes the song emo and dark so a cute pretty girly pop idol like her wouldn't ever ask her for help again. She gives the script to her and Sayaka goes “OMG TOKO THIS IS AMAZING” and Toko’s like “HUH...” Can you tell I'm deranged btw

nOTP: Tbh none comes to mind? 😭

random headcanon: She likes to host sleepovers with the other girls ^_^

unpopular opinion: I think it was awesome she attempted murder actually everyone's just afraid of women who (attempt to) slay

song i associate with them: Angel of Love because I'm normal <3 real answer is Negaigoto Ensemble

favorite picture of them:

[kitkatpancakestack]

good evening and welcome to K's drunk rambles!

So I was re-watching 5x01 and I got to the part where the firefam is discussing Eddie going to Ana's christening, and then there was that little Godfather snippet:

Buck: it's like the opening scene of the godfather

Bobby: pretty sure that was the last scene

and it probably doesn't mean anything but 1) for some reason that bit of dialogue has always picked at my brain, and we're rounding out the "last scene" of this season so I'm *eyes emoji* 2) I love The Godfather and 3) I'm drunk and nobody can stop me lololol

Have some unhinged less than sober rambles (sorry if people have already discussed this):

If you're unfamiliar with The Godfather, the basis of that dialogue exchange bw Buck and Bobby is that there's a christening scene that happens at the end of the movie, and the opening scene of the movie is actually a wedding backdropping the very interesting conversation happening between Don Corleone and the dude who comes to him to ask for justice for his daughter. So interesting how Buck mixes this up and they spend screen time for the audience to hear it.

(BTW this analysis is going to be Eddie-centric so buckle up.)

SPOILERS FOR THE GODFATHER BELOW:

I'm not talking direct translation here because 9-1-1 is, well, 9-1-1 and The Godfather is a fucking crimeboss movie, but the driving theme through both pieces of media is family: what you do for family, what family means, what you can run from and what you cannot ultimately escape . Extremely Eddie-coded language for him this season.

For the sake of this not being a drunkard's monologue, let's focus on the parallels between Eddie and Michael Corleone, who for all that is relevant to understanding this post is the son of the crimeboss (Don Corleone) and doesn't want to inherit his "family business." He also doesn't want to be anything like his father. he wants the stereotypical American Dream with a wife and kids and is dead set on achieving this (again WHO does this sound like pre-breakdown era???)

Also Vito Corleone (Michael's father and who I am paralleling to Ramon here) ultimately dies FROM A HEART ATTACK WHILE PLAYING WITH HIS GRANDSON LIKE WHAT??? and Michael, doomed from the start, inevitably steps into the role of Don.

By the end of the movie (marked by a particularly brutal last montage of murders juxtaposed with the baptism of Michael's nephew), Michael has left his hopes for normalcy behind and taken up the mantle of his family business after committing a regrettable and violent act meant to give him clean state to start from a place of higher power, in order to obtain legitimacy and try to "do things differently."

Throughout the trilogy of movies Michael is in this tragic tug-of-war of trying to achieve legitimacy and always being sucked back into his family's problems, with his previous "American Dream" in tatters all around him. And ultimately he ends up the subject of an American tragedy, alone and miserable, grieving the life he wanted given up for the life thrust upon him in the shadow of his family.

I've meandered and I don't think I actually have a legitimate point other than this was fun to write and Eddie going back to Texas to "reconcile" with his father + the possibility of something happening to his father is very interesting in the sense of Eddie trying to break away form his family vs. maybe feeling indebted to carrying his father's legacy despite his previous unwillingness, should something happen to his father.

There's just a lot about family and expectations and the failed American Dream that has Eddie written all over it, especially considering Eddie's possible upcoming story arc.

But I think Eddie, unlike Michael, will be able to break that cycle, reconcile with his father, and step away from his family's drama.

If you made it this long, you rock. I'd share a drink with you but I don't have any left lmao.

<3

[allpartofthejob]

Dead man's chest: Phryne Fisher - travelling (S2E3)

Phryne checking the current that flows between two people...

... and deciding after 5 minutes that there is no magnetism in this case (she obviously does not like rocks). Btw. Gerald McNaster should get a prize for the weirdest hairstyle of the show (or witch weekly's most charming smile award)!

The question is... no, not who the murderer is, but: does Jack stay at the McNaster Mansion? Let's see... He is there at every meal they have (dinner, luncheon and breakfast). And for some special & secretive pre-dinner-drinks of course! So maybe he is staying there (it would add so nicely to the summer camp-like atmosphere). But... Phryne & Jack meet at the pier for their nightly stakeout. So I'm afraid he is actually staying somewhere else...

Here we see Phryne checking out the current a second time...

...and: YES! It's a collector's piece!!! (Phryne, your ice cream is melting insanely quickly).

[leoninekelter]

@panpotterhead3000 @stuckys-hot-dogs

My argument against Endgame:

*ahem*

So, I loved End game, but we are going to get into the end. I love Steggy. Steggy was amazing. Steggy was great. But it was. And here is why.

In the end of endgame, steve went back in time, away from his new family, his friends, the world he’s been in for about 2 decades. A while ago, I did the math, when they get the shield back from him, he is 85. When he goes back in time to Peggy, it is the Cold War, and Stan Lee is a hippie, there fore it is about late 60s to really early 70s. He went underwater at about 25. So, when he goes back, he is about 45, and with Peggy, she looks about the same,Here is the thing:

Peggy is CANONICALLY married and with kids, until endgame at least. And while it isn’t bad to get married later in life at all, it was generally uncommon to not get married earlier, and likely looked down upon by a lot of people. And at 45 that is very close to menopause. My mom is 44 almost, and she is going through pre-menopause already (ngl I have no idea what that does necessarily or if it has any effect, I don’t pay attention in health class, I have dysphoria and blood for a week, and then I don’t. Idk) so Peggy probably would have had kids earlier than 1970.

In Agent Carter she poured Steve’s blood into the river so nobody could replicate it, and it was very obviously staged as her letting go. Later, she falls for Dr. Wilkes. I’m still finishing the show, I will add if I get more proof, btw. But ANYWAY. we know she moved on. She was probably married before then, had kids before then, and defenitely moved on from Steve by then.

Also, Russos, congratulations, you made Steve fall in love with his descendant, Sharon, in a separate timeline. Incest, you rock! Five stars, disgusting.

As for Steve? He has new family. He has Bucky. He had Sharon (ew) and friends as well, and a world to protect. He knows that history will be fine without him, he was recovered and the future was fine. He went back to retire, because he knew he wouldn’t have to fight, is also an alternative to what I’m saying ,and that is against my case, so don’t take this onformation into account as part of it, this is just an extra fact.

Even if you don’t ship Steve with Bucky, or Tony, or Natasha, or anybody, there’s only one person left for him in the past, that he shared one kiss with, that has moved on from him, that has a family, that has a life. There’s nothing for him. And he knows this! What if he went back and she turned him down? How do you get back now, dumbass? And if he went back in time further, well, he’d be 45, she’d be like 25, and when he gave Falcon the shield he’d be over 100. There’s no way.

And I liked how they moved on from each other and were able to still love and remember each other. I hate that Marvel screwed that, there’s so little of that in movies.

Now to Natasha and Clint.

Clint should have died.

I love Clint. He’s amazing, he’s funny, he has a family and should have been able to go home to them. But, he murdered people for 5 years. Honestly? No matter if he saved the world, there’s still a good chance he would get arrested, not to mention he fought on Steve’s sid in Civil War. And what’s he supposed to tell his family? That he killed people for 5 years while they were gone in grief instead of doing something useful? Will they look at him the same? Would Laura want to stay with him? If she does through all of that, I love her and trust her, but if their kids feel unsafe or scared, who’s side is she taking?

Meanwhile Natasha held the team together. She found Clint, and everybody. She got them back together. She gave Scott a chance and also let him take her sandwich (I don’t let people take my food she’s a legend for this reason alone). And she gets killed? Fuckers. I hate it.

TL;DR: Natasha shouldn’t have died and Steve should have stayed in the present day.

[wishonastarx3]

I saw this coming... I’m so fucking tired of this.

I don’t care who reads this, if you actually know me in real life then you probably know that this is how I feel from my instagram story. I apologize in advance of the language in this post. These are my emotions and thoughts. (And yes I am aware that within the AAPI community there are it's issues, but that's not the point of this post)

I’m SO SICK AND TIRED of this shit. What happened on Tuesday WAS NOT OKAY. EIGHT PEOPLE ARE DEAD and SIX of them were ASIAN WOMEN. Click the hyperlink if you live under a rock or if you just don’t watch the news. I don’t know how you people live. 

The Asian and Asian American community in this country has been saying for the PAST YEAR that we are NOT OKAY and that we NEED HELP. Donald FUCKING Trump REPEATEDLY kept saying pre pandemic, “CHINA! CHINA! THEY’RE STEALING OUR JOBS!!! CHINA IS EVIL!!!” and of course his base bought into that. BUT when the freaking pandemic started it was “THE KUNG FLU” or the “CHINA VIRUS”. So now, let’s make the target on our backs EVEN BIGGER NOW!!! (I still don’t understand HOW there were Asians who voted for him... but that���s beside this point of this) 

This past year has had over 3800 reports of Asian American HATE CRIMES against us. These fucking cowards are going after our ELDERLY COMMUNITY like the BABY BITCHES that they are. WHY?! JUST FUCKING WHY?! What does this do for you? It makes me SO ANGRY to see these videos of the elderly community being ATTACKED and KILLED. I watched on video of a toisan lao (old Chinese Woman) in SF who was being attacked and she fought back against her attacker (AS SHE FUCKING SHOULD. HE ENDED UP IN A STRETCHER). But that really... that one really struck a cord with me as that’s the dialect my family speaks and it made me think “fuck. That could have been my grandmother. That could have been my grandfather.” Going after the community that doesn’t speak english, LITERALLY POWERLESS and that is old like a bunch of COWARDS. I, as a 5′9 Asian American woman from New York City has dealt with my far share of harassment... but the fucking elderly? Really? 

This pandemic has just gave them an EXCUSE to attack us. As if we weren’t already being harassed and marginalized before!!! But of course, one will say “but how can that be? Asians are the model! You guys are the best minority group out there. Everyone loves you!” HAR HAR MOTHER FUCKER

So lets set up some points

The Model Minority Myth - the “idea” that Asians are the smarter minorities who end up becoming the doctors and lawyers who are good at math, science and end up going to Harvard. I’m sorry... what? This is pathetic. AND A FUCKING MYTH  I’ve dealt with these AWFUL cliches and stereotypes. Are they good stereotypes? Sure...? BUT do you understand:

What that does to the individual? What about the Asians who do not want tot be doctors? What about the Asians who then have to deal with the mental illness that goddamn society created for us? (I’m not even going to go into the lack of Asians in entertainment business. That’s a whole separate headache.)

WHY ARE WE IGNORING THAT IT’S ONLY A SMALL GROUP OF ASIANS THAT END UP DOING THAT?! Are we going to IGNORE the Asians who don’t go to Ivy Leagues? Or the ones that are living below the poverty line? 

This literally created the Racial Triangulation between the minorities! White people have put Asians on a pedestal in comparison to the other minorities and YES other minorities HATE us for that reason.By saying that we are the “Model Minority” it LITERALLY creates this thought that we better than the “other minorities” but yet we still ain’t white. So we aren’t a part of the majority therefore putting us in no mans land. 

THE NEGATIVE stereotypes - OH and TRUST ME there are A LOT. These are just the ones at the top of my head. 

The FETISHIZATION  of Asian Women - this shit ain’t new. This is literally what the term “yellow fever” means when referring to MEN who only like Asian women. The fetishization of asian women LITERALLY GOES BACK TO 1890s when the short story “Madame Butterfly” was written when a WHITE MAN was in Japan and fell in love with an Asian girl (WHO WAS 15 BTW). There are literal journal entries of European and American men who were in Asian at the time who said LITERALLY SAY HOW EXOTIC Asian Women are, that apparently our vaginas just “feel different”. I’m sorry... WHAT?! I HATE nothing more than when I have dealt with men saying some bullshit about how “exotic” I am. Also lets not forget how American society has de-masculinate the Asian Man. Saying that have small dicks and that they are skinny and scrawny, therefore aren’t men. So you like only half of us? 

Our Food - WE DO NOT EAT DOG. I grew up being told “YOU EAT DOG! YOU’RE CHINESE!”... fuck you. And now, Asian food is seen as “amazing” I’m happy you like our soup dumplings and bao. But you were the same fucking people who told me I ate dog. So you love our food but not the people? Okay. I see you. Oh and I didn’t forget about the people who have gagged at Asian food. 

Mocking how we look and our language - Am I the only Asian American who had people pulling their eyes and saying CHING CHONG at them? Please, get hit by a bus. And isn’t ironic how now “fox eyes” are a make up trend? funny isn’t it? 

People telling us to “GO BACK TO CHINA!” “GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM” 

I’m sorry. Who educated you? Asians have been in this country since the 1850S. WE BUILT THE DAMN RAILROADS. SOME OF US WERE KIDNAPPED HERE TO BUILD THAT SHIT. (Another note is how ASIAN AMERICAN HISTORY IS NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS. This needs to be addressed and changed.) 

Also for MYSELF - my GREAT GRANDFATHER BUILT THE DAMN RAILROAD and SERVED IN THE ARMY in WWI. My Great Uncles were in the Air force in WWII and my GRANDFATHER served in the KOREAN WAR where he was shot in the ear and received a Purple Heart. I FUCKING DARE YOU to tell me to go back to my country. MY FAMILY HAS DONE MORE FOR THIS COUNTRY THAN HALF OF THESE RACIST MOTHER FUCKERS. 

Hate crimes in America have been happening since the 1880s. Yellow Peril goes back to the 1880s when Asian were literally depicted as these murderous group invading from Asia. And of course, they depict us with slanted eyes and with long braided pony tails. THIS SHIT AIN’T NEW. There has also literally been LAWS banning Chinese from coming to America. i.e THE CHINESE EXCLUSION ACT oh and lets not forget Japanese Interment during the 1930s. THIS SHIT AIN’T NEW. ALSO let’s not forget the Vincent Chin Murder in the 1980s when a Chinese American was BEAT TO DEATH because his attackers thought he was Japanese and they were blaming the Japanese for taking their jobs. 

As I sit here, feeling not as angry as at the beginning, if history has taught me anything, fear and anger has been the drive for these crimes. In the 1880s we were thought to be evil and that we were going to take away all of the jobs (but low and behold, some of us were KIDNAPPED here). During WWII it was right after Pearl Harbor after Japan bombed it. Vincent Chin, his attackers were angry at the Japanese. Current day, Donald Fucking Trump decided to put the target on our communities back with both jobs being sent to China and with the Coronavirus being our fault. 

What happened on Tuesday with the Atlanta police officer saying that the 21 year old was “having a bad day” WAS BULL SHIT. I didn’t know killing 8 people was a RATIONALE  RESPONSE. Okay then. Call it what it is, A HATE CRIME. This man was saying he had a “sex addiction” and that he wanted to get rid of the temptation and he associated ASIAN WOMEN and the ASIAN SPA to be that temptation. AND WHY IS THAT?!?!?!? THE FETISHIZATION OF ASIAN WOMEN. 

And before I get off of my soap box, THE MEDIA WAS PRETTY FUCKING LATE TO JOINING THIS, AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS, A HATE CRIME. SO MANY of the crimes against the Asian elderly go unreported or are not deemed hate crimes WHEN THEY ARE. SO MANY of them do not know English or enough English and can not report what was said to them. And what sucks too, my dad even said it, I think your grandparents would just take it because they would see this as “I immigrated here, I have to take this shit”. WELL THAT TRAIN STOPS HERE. WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED. WE WILL NOT SHY AWAY. WE ARE TAKING OUR SPACE THAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS. I fucking PROMISE you that if you try to do so, you will have hell to deal with. 

I’m not going to get into the subject of the people who are SILENT during this but were ALL OVER social media for their BLM support. I’m just going to leave it at we are asking for your help and to amplify this. Please. 

To my non Asian friends who have reached out to me, I do appreciate it. I really do. But please rather than telling me you are here for me if I want to talk, I BEG of you, please read and learn about the history as well as the Asian/Asian American experience in America. It’s really not as rainbows and butterflies people have been thinking. Hate against Asian and Asian Americans started before 2020. 

To my Asian brothers, sisters, aunties and uncles PLEASE stay safe.

[rapuvdayear]

2000: “Ghetto Qu’ran (Forgive Me)” 50 Cent (Trackmaster Ent./Columbia)

It’s been over a year since I teased the idea of doing a post about my favorite 50 Cent tracks, so I guess now is as good a time as ever to get around to it! 

With the exception of maybe Kanye, I can’t think of another rapper with more raw talent whose career has been more disappointing. Obviously both Ye and Fiddy have been monstrously successful, but IMO they either burned brightly before descending into white supremacy apologia (Kanye) or never achieved their best possible trajectory (50). It’s not an accident to put them together in this way, either; just 12 years ago next month they faced off in what turned out to be a very underwhelming battle over whose album would sell better (this was back when album sales, not streaming numbers, still meant something). In many ways, it was a crossroads for each artist: Kanye dropped what I believe was his magnum opus, then followed it up with his fourth-best album, third-best album, and second-best album, before dropping off a cliff, while 50′s release basically removed him from the conversation about who was relevant in rap (“My Gun Go Off” and “I Get Money” are honorable mentions for the list below, but otherwise Curtis is entirely forgettable). 

These days, 50 has gone the Ice Cube route and is probably more recognizable as an actor than as a rapper. So, it’s hard to remember that once upon a time he was the savior of gangsta rap and (co-)author of one of the 25 greatest albums of all time. He beat the odds to survive a shooting, link up with the two heaviest hitters (at the time) in the rap game, and even be included on some GOAT lists. He also essentially established the “flood the streets with mixtapes before your album drops” strategy of self-promotion that Gucci, Weezy, and even Drake would follow in the days before Soundcloud was the go-to resource for building a rep. He singlehandedly destroyed a rival’s career, launched a clothing line, video game, and music label, and made a halfway-decent biopic. And then... he just sort of petered out. 

But! 50 is also responsible for some of my all-time favorite raps, which is why it’s so frustrating to me that he never lived up to the buzz surrounding him back in 2003. These are my five favorites, listed chronologically, with some commentary:

1) “Ghetto Qu’ran (Forgive Me)” (2000) Before the G-Unit days and before Eminem and Dre helped launch him to superstardom, Curtis Jackson was an up and coming rapper from Queens who had attracted the attention of another rap legend, Run-DMC’s Jam Master Jay. A mutual friend introduced 19 year-old 50 to Jay back in 1996, and the veteran producer/DJ gave him a crash course in how to write songs and signed him to his fledgling label. The business relationship didn’t work out, but it helped lead 50 to Columbia Records’ Trackmasters imprint where he recorded Power of the Dollar in 1999. However, this debut album would never see the light of day after 50 was shot nine times while sitting in a friend’s car and subsequently dropped by Columbia. In the wake of the shooting--and then later, after 50 blew the fuck up in 2003--it became a sort of “lost cult classic” among rap fans. “How To Rob” got the most attention at the time, a funny-yet-vicious song demonstrating 50′s hunger through fantasies about sticking up famous rappers and R&B stars (the song was also clearly an homage to Biggie’s unreleased “Dreams,” and provoked an oblique diss from Ghostface). But “Ghetto Qu’ran” has had a more lasting impact, primarily because of how it was rumored to be the source of 50′s shooting, Jam Master Jay’s murder, and the Ja Rule/Murder Inc. beef. While all of that intrigue is important to rap lore, it distracts from the fact that it’s a near perfect rap song from a technical perspective: a catchy hook, a fantastic beat and sample, an effortless flow, and a well-crafted story that is equal parts celebration of the Queens underworld and subtle shots at street legends. Seriously, this is akin to what traveling bards used to do in medieval Europe, what poets in Ancient Greece wrote, what west African griots did/do, and what narcocorrido artists do now. If you want to learn about the Supreme Team, Pappy Mason, the Corley Family, and the Rich Porter/Alpo crew in Harlem, then this is a good place to start; as 50 puts it, “consider this the first chapter of the ghetto’s Qu’ran.” The secondary title to this track--“Forgive Me”--has a double meaning now. It was initially a plea to forgive 50 for the pain he caused in his criminal life but in retrospect an appeal to the figures whose names he drops. Also, it’s interesting to listen to this first and then compare 50′s voice with the next four tracks: this was recorded before the shooting, which left a bullet fragment lodged in his tongue that affected his speech and gave him his now-distinctive flow.    

2) “Heat” (2003) There are several standouts on Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (“Many Men,” “Back Down,” “What Up Gangsta,” “Patiently Waiting,” and “Poor Lil’ Rich” spring to mind, and I will always love “21 Questions” for the “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” line alone) but this one has always been my fave. It’s a perfect distillation of the image that 50 was trying to project when he burst onto the scene: a hood-hardened gangster who wouldn’t hesitate to do his enemies harm. And given his recent history, you could believe him, too! There’s really nothing about this song that should be praised in any way, but I’ve been thinking about the gravity of the following line a lot in the past month or so: “The summertime is a killing season/ It’s hot out this bitch, that’s a good enough reason.” Also, 50′s boast “the DA can play this motherfucking tape in court” *has* to be one of the inspirations behind this great Key & Peele sketch, right? 

3) “A Baltimore Love Thing” (2005) The Massacre was incredibly disappointing on the whole. I can remember clearly sitting around with my friends in a dorm room at the Shoreland listening to it all the way through the day that it dropped, wanting to love it but slowly realizing that it wasn’t going to live up to our expectations. “Ski Mask Way” could be an honorable mention on this list, and “Piggy Bank” is kind of funny, but otherwise it’s a steaming pile of shit. “Baltimore Love Thing,” though, is a masterpiece. It’s incredibly dark, rapped from the perspective of heroin itself (sort of like what Nas’s “I Gave You Power” does for guns) in order to detail the destruction that addiction--and, by extension, drug trafficking--leaves in its wake. Even more fucked up, 50-as-heroin voices an abusive partner addressing a woman, threatening her should she ever try to leave him. For my money, “You broke my heart, you dirty bitch, I won’t forget what you did/ If you give birth, I’ll already be in love with your kids” is one of the coldest lines in the annals of rap, full stop. In the second verse, he switches to the flip side of an abuser’s mindset: “I never steer you wrong, if you hyper I make you calm/ I’ll be your incentive, your reason for you to move forward.” All in all, it’s a great concept song that shows off 50′s range as a rapper... and is a testament to what he could have been.

4) “Hustler’s Ambition” (2005) Goddamn, I fucking love everything about this song! The beat is fantastic (great sample, btw), prefiguring the sound on a future great mixtape from the G-Unit crew. 50′s flow here is flawless, arguably the best, smoothest he’s ever been. This was basically the “theme” for 2005′s Get Rich or Die Tryin’ film, and tells the story of his come up in the drug game (or, at least, 50′s version of his carefully constructed hagiography). The lyrics are the true gems here, so I’ll just let a few of the standouts speak for themselves:

“Check my logic: fiends don’t like seeds in they weed, shit/ Send me them seeds, I’ll grow ‘em what they need”

“I sell anything, I’m a hustler, I know how to grind/ Step on grapes, put it in water, and tell you it’s wine”

“I made plans to make it, a prisoner of the state/ Now I can invite your ass out to my estate”

“Pour Cristal in the blender, make a protein shake”

and finally

“The feds watch me, icy, they can’t stop me/ Racists pointing at me, ‘Look at *****race’: Hello!”   

5) “Ghetto Like A Motherfucker” (2011) I remember first encountering this track on a Tumblr compilation (I think?) called Don’t Fuck This Up, Curtis! and allowing myself to get excited that the old 50 was back! As the compilation’s name implies, around that time 50 had been releasing a string of online-only singles that were better than anything he’d put out in five or so years, and so there was some hope that he’d soon be making a triumphant return to the rap game. Sadly, this was not to be. But I still bang this track every month or so. The idea here was that 50 had written something, set it to a very sparse, stripped-down beat, and posted it online as an invitation for DIY rap producers to play with it and layer their own compositions on top of it. In that sense, it represented a melange of rap’s earliest roots--dudes spitting over vinyl cuts in basements and parks, just fucking around and having fun--and the possibilities afforded by the digital age and rap’s embrace of online platforms for mixing and remixing material (on a side note, I like to think of this as part of 21st century rap’s “punk rock” aesthetic, and would argue that this genre has done it better than any other). As with “Hustler’s Ambition,” “Baltimore Love Thing,” and “Ghetto Qu’ran,” this track gives 50 a chance to really showcase his talents as a writer and a rapper. The lyrics are as grimy as the beat, painting a picture of urban poverty and pre-fame 50, and 50 switches up his flow at multiple points throughout. Here are some of my favorite lines:

“Slim chance I’ma go back to killing roaches/ Be quiet, you can hear the rats in the wall/ Make you wanna pump crack ‘til you stack racks”

“Dice game, shake ‘em up, praying’ for a 6/ The wolves out there hungry, they lookin’ for a lick”

“****** pissed on the staircase, in the elevator/ Now I’m pissed cuz I’m starting to smell like piss, player”

and

“All a ***** need is a block and a connect/ And a box of 9 MMs to load in the TEC.”

50′s last two studio albums--Before I Self Destruct and Animal Ambition--honestly weren’t half-bad; I would venture so far as to say that they were both better than The Massacre and Curtis. But for 50 it was too little, too late, really. Too many rappers had come along since then doing what he did, only better and fresher. This is a Migos world now; we’re just living in it. And so, I’m left to ponder what could have been. 

[ashariajade]

Umbrella Academy - My Thoughts -  Contains Spoilers

So, now that I managed to get some sleep, here’s my thoughts on Umbrella Academy.

Yes, there will be spoilers here, so avoid if you haven’t seen the show and don’t want to know what happens.

So, overall I loved it.  Too many shows go straight for the grim-dark, full-angst, all drama and I can’t watch them.  It’s why I pretty much have stalled out on   The Walking Dead. Was the show angsty, and dark in spots? Hell yeah. But they also tempered it with humour and laughter and fluff. They didn’t just hammer at you with pain and horror and everything is bad. 

Now for the Characters: (No real order other than how they pop into my head)

Luther - even by the end I still wanted to tell him to grow up. At least he had moved away from the Dad-is-always-right mentality he had at the beginning, but he was still so childishly naive in the face of what was going on. Of them all he’s probably the most emotionally stunted, though he did have some growth in that area by the end he still has quite a way to go before he manages to come into who he can be.

Allison - of all of them is probably the most stable. With what happened with Claire and her realizing the abuse of her powers and pretty much vowing to not use them again (though it’s not explicitly said), she’s the one the seemed to have the most growth pre-pilot.  And she continues, especially in her interactions with Vanya.

Klaus - who is of all of them my favourite. That poor boy. Is he a fuck up? Yes, so much.  But understandably so. Finding out how Reginald Hargreeves trained Klaus to use his powers was horrifying.  I seethed through that whole part with the urge to reach through the screen and strangle a fictional character. Of all of them, he has the most growth.  He learns himself. Does he still do stupid shit? Yes, but he wouldn’t be Klaus if he didn’t. His interactions with Ben are touching, hilarious in parts, and so damn heartbreaking.  I spent the whole time wondering if Klaus held on to Ben and kept him there or did Ben hold on to Klaus so that he wouldn’t leave his family.

Diego - my violent little boy.  He’s another one I felt for so much. If you watch you see that in some ways the others kind of paired off. Allison and Luther with a pre-romantic relationship, Ben and Klaus seemed to be close (hinted at), and Vanya and Fives seemed to be close (hinted at with her leaving the lights on and leaving snacks out for him), but Diego had no one but Grace aka Mom.  She’s the center of his world. Which makes everything with her so much harder to take. His relationship with Det. Patch was cute though (I will talk about her in a bit). The teasing, the goodnatured bickering, the tension - both sexual and professional, everything between them was so cute. 

Fives - arrogant, self-entitled, assholish, what else can be said about Fives?  He loves his family. He actually cares about stopping the Apocolypse.  While he says he doesn’t regret the things he had to do while working for the Commision, you can see that it haunts him. And imagine, being 58 in a 13 yr old body. He’s smart though, but his issue is that he forgets that other people can be smart too. He underestimates people in that regard, including his own family because he believes he’s smarter than all of them.  He’s the most unstable of them all, but then again, he jumped time to the future and spent decades alone with only a mannequin for company before the Commission got their hooks into them.

Ben - I really wish we had more of his story. We don’t know how he died, only that he stuck around. He’s always with Klaus, even with Klaus drugs himself to block out all the other ghosts. Him helping to save Diego when the Academy was coming down and again in the theatre was just awesome. I’m hoping they bring more of him into the second season and we learn more of his story.

Vanya - the ordinary one. I loved the forshadowing done in the first episode. I’m fairly certain the opening scene is her being born. Then after the whole Hargreeves adopting (buying) them, it cuts to her performing Phantom of the Opera (Lindsay Sterling’s version which rocks btw), which as it the intro scenes ago on you find out is to an empty theatre.  So much foreshadowing and very poetic. Even the songs chosen. Her whole arc, being the ordinary one, being left out and left behind all the time, transition into finding out that she’s not ordinary, but extremely powerful.  The whole thing with Peabody/Jenkins creeped me out, but he creeped me out from the first moment. The way Hargreeves treated her pissed me off though. The whole “someone/thing is too powerful we have to lock it up/neutralize it” frame of mind. Her powers are tied to her emotions and because he basically abused and used them, they were raised by a robot, who did her best but doesn’t really have emotions, so she was never taught to control them and use them.  Also, you can’t just lock something in a box and pretend it doesn’t exist. That way lies disaster.  Hence, the Apocolypse.  Potential and powers like that, those tied to emotions don’t just fade when locked away, they grow.  Each moment of anger, pain, humiliation, grief, they all add to that potential.  He had to know she would only get more powerful, that sooner to later Allison’s rumour would wear off or be destroyed and Vanya would remember.

I am glad they didn’t go the whole White Violin from the comics. Interesting look, but no.

Leonard Peabody aka Harold Jenkins - definition of “Cool motive, still murder”. Creep extraordinaire .  Granted, he didn’t want to destroy the world, just the Umbrella Academy, but the way he used Vanya made me so sick. Just about everything he did even before we found out his backstory had me wanting to go scrub down.  Glad to know my instincts are correct.

Pogo and Mom - both are stories I want to know more about. How did Pogo end up there? How did Hargreeves create Mom? We know why, because of Vanya, even if it benefited the others in the end as well. Pogo holding on to so many of the secrets when he should have said something pissed me off though.  He should have let some of them go sooner.

Det. Eudora Patch - I loved her.  As I said, the byplay between her and Diego was so cute.  Just so fun to watch.  There was so much potential there and then, of course, they fridged her.  That had to be the most disappointing part of the show.  Killing a woman to give a man pain.  Really, haven’t we gotten past that yet?  I know they did it to have the whole Diego learns that violence is not the answer arc, but still,  they could have kept her alive and did the same damn thing. 

Hazel and Cha-Cha - such interesting characters.  And Hazel’s arc. Especially finding out that he’s let people go before.  That he’s never been a heartless killed.  Cha-Cha, however, is a heartless killer.  Seriously, she has issues. And her not realizing the Handler was going to leave them there since they had no briefcase? I laughed my ass off.

The Handler - all I can say is what a bitch.

Dave - I wish we could have gotten a bit more of the whole Klaus Dave thing.  I just wanted to bundle them up and hide them somewhere that no one and nothing could hurt them.

Delores - well, yeah, um...

My favourite parts:

The dancing to I Think We’re Alone Now. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. 

Allison and Luther calling Claire and Luther saying all the things that Allison can’t and her just breaking down and crying.  That was just so painful to watch.

Luther the Furry.

All the times Fives talks to Delores.

Klaus being strangled by Cha-Cha. (that was hilarious)

Heartbreaking Parts:

Klaus saying that no one would notice him missing, and no one did.

Hearing Allison talking about what she did, how she used her powers on Claire.

Vanya drawing the Umbrella Academy tattoo on her arm while everyone else was getting theirs.

Klaus not being able to connect to/find Dave.

When they realize that Vanya is the apocalypse.

Least Favourite Parts: (for various reason)

Klaus being locked in the mausoleum.

Vanya being locked in the vault thing (both times, Luther you idiot!)

Det. Patch being killed.

The whole way Hargreeves treated the kids (seriously, want to strangle him)

Peabody dumping out Vanya’s pills (wow, that had me shaking with anger.  I had figured it out at that point but still, so pissed off).

The whole way they all treat Klaus.

Luther’s attitude.

So, I’m gonna give it a bit and then rewatch the whole season. Hopefully, a second season doesn’t take too long.  I would love to see more.  As I said, I loved it. It was pretty much well done overall.

A cliffhanger ending though.  That was annoying.

[occupyvenus]

“Things about 7x07 I do not understand” or “A small study in badly written plot twists”

1. What did fake!starkbowl accomplish ? 

I love seeing LF die as much as the girl next to me, I love Sansa’s “... Lord Baelish?” and I love Arya’s “My sister asked you a question”. Seriously, I’m really happy that our girls were orchestrating this entire idiotic starkbowl ... but why though? How did that clusterfuck serve their plot to execute LF? They didn’t collect any evidence through it, they basically just accused him of all the things Bran saw through his tree magic and that was it. I can’t see how fake!starkbowl would secure the alliance of my man Royce and the Vale neither. They put LF publicly on “trial” and because no one cares about the little piece of shit, they got away with it. As awesome as this “twist” was, it was completely pointless and thus lazy writing. Arya and Sansa’s behaviour (it’s a bit unclear whether they’ve been putting on a show the entire time or not, but I’m inclined to believe they indeed did...?), did not, in any way, aid them in revealing LF’s crimes and killing him for murder and treason. All they needed was to get him in the Grand Hall and do the thing. There was no reason to lure him there by making him believe that Sansa was going to do the thing to Arya. I know D&D think they are so clever because of this, but this only proofs what awful writers there are. It’s not a good twist if the post-twist revelation doesn’t shed some light on the pre-twist behaviour. That’s just creating cheap tension. 

Now, because I love coming up with fix-it’s, fake!starkbowl could have been used for this in some ways: Either have LF make an attack on Arya’s life, catch him red-headed, Sansa denies any involvement and you have a reason to justify his execution before the Lords of the Vale. Or Sansa gets some concrete evidence from LF for his crimes, after she gains his full trust. But the resolution we got for fake!starkbowl makes no sense at all. Don’t get me wrong that scene was great, but you better not think about it. Or was Arya not in on it? Or was Sansa not in on it? But the attending guards and lords obviously knew about it? Did they? 

2. Why does Cersei threaten to back down from the truce? 

So, if I got this right Euron shitting his pants because of the wight was a ruse so he could take his fleet out of KL to fetch the Golden Company without raising any suspicion. Right? And Cersei’s grand scheme was to promise support and accept the truce, leading to Dalalala moving her troops to the north, clearing the way for her to take over. Then ... why does she refuse the truce after Jon Aegon, naahh “Jon” has a stroke (or keeps up his own ruse of appealing to Dalalala and twisting her around his little finger; after all he doesn’t know how Dalalala would react if he took back his “knee bending” in front of an audience)? Dalalala will not withdraw her troops if Cersei doesn’t (that was the whole point after all) and Cersei would have to fight against the exact opposition she was trying to eliminate with this move. If Dalalala had decided to leave, saying “fuck it, if Cersei doesn’t want a truce I’ll just have to call my dragons back to fry her ass”, then what? What was our beloved blond pyromaniac (the lannister one) do then? Cersei trying to convince Jon to remain neutral makes sense, getting upset about his ... “speech” makes sense, but she is jeopardizing her entire plan by leaving in a rage fit. It’s bullshit. 

3. Why does Bran think Jon’s, excuse me “Aegon’s”, last name is “Sand”?

Lyanna literally says “his name is Aegon TARGARYEN” in the flashback of the flashback we see Bran having 20 seconds after Sam corrects him about Jon’s bastard status. I mean, the information we gain through Bran contradicts the information he claims not to have when speaking to Sam. Or did Bran not understand what Lyanna said the first time like us? Btw, I still hate this fucking annulment. And I hate the name “Aegon”. Who wants to bet Jon has a different targ!name in the books (if he even has one), but D&D changed it because “Aegon” is the most coolest? 

4. WHY WAS CASTERLY ROCK EVEN A THING???? 

I know no one but me cares about this, I know, but the Unsullied taking the Rock, only to find out that Jaime has withdrawn all Lannister-troops to take Highgarden and be surprised by Euron burning the ships, only to magically turn up at Kings Landing two weeks later, bugs me as much (if not more) as any wight hunt, dragon pit meeting or boatbang ever could. Just because it’s a perfect demonstration for the short-lived, cheap, non-effective drama they’ve been throwing at our faces this season. This entire “plot point” didn’t influence anything. It was completely pointless and I hate it. They could have literally cut it, since they are whining about the reduced screen time. Didn’t Euron lay siege to Casterly Rock? Didn’t Cersei (or was it Jaime?) even say that Euron should win it back in no time? Wasn’t the plan to starve the Unsullied out, forcing them to leave the castle? Did Euron just burn the ships and leave? Did he give the Unsullied a ride a to Kings Landing? The last shot of Grey Worm was him being worried about the Ironborn fleet about to attack, which makes us worried about the Ironborn fleet who’s about to attack Grey Worm. Despite the teleportation that got Euron there, that is a rather nice setup for a story arc for Grey Worm, a character we’ve known for a couple of seasons now and had a very nice good-bye scene to get us emotionally involved into his survival. They could have spends a little bit of screen-time to show the dire situation he is in now, how it changes and how he does or does not get out of it. Having him suddenly show up in Kings Landing, without any explanation whatsoever how he got there or what happened is definitely in my top 3 of the stupidest “plot un-points” of this season. It’s typical for what bothers me about this season: They are only creating “dramatic” scenes with high tension, without embedding them in any kind of true arc.

5. What was Plan A to bring the Wall down?

It’s really convenient that Dalalala showed up with her dragons when she did and the Night King could adopt one to blow up the wall. How was he going to get through without it? Since undead Ice-Dragon seem to big a plot point to be a creation by D&D themselves, maybe that’s the point? That Dalalala taking her dragons to Westeros is the very thing making the Wall falling possible, when we’ve been hoping she would make it in time before the Wall falls? Maybe. I will let this slide, but had to mention it because of the irony. The hateful fucking irony. 

[attract-mode-collective]

It’s Still (Pixelated) Hot Dog Legs Season

Fall should officially be in full swing by now, yet here in NYC (and many other parts of the US), it still feels like summer. Which I’m not thrilled about, though at the very least, I don’t feel so bad for sharing the above (by Robert Penney) so late into September.

On that note, time for a way overdue game culture round up! It’s been a while, and a LOT been going on. And not to be a downer, but the chaotic weather has been in the news, obviously.

Here’s a pic from Gamer Geek Nation on Facebook, who shared the aftermath of the Hurricane Harvey, along with: “… This is a time when we collectors need to remind ourselves that ultimately, this is just stuff, and our lives are more important. And make sure your collection is insured properly.”

Elsewhere in the world, the Tokyo Game Show just wrapped up, and not to repeat the obvious, but yes… the biggest, most exciting news was the Sonic X Hooters collab…

Though the one between Hello Kitty and Game Center CX is far, far better (photo courtesy of Kotaku)…

You also have this comically large Rockman doll, which apparently was available on Amazon but is now out of stock…

Though I mostly wished I had been there to pick up some primo looking attire, like this Mega Drive track jacket that miki800 gave the heads up on before show time (there was also a Dreamcast hoodie that I personally don’t think looks as nice, hence why I’m skipping it)…

I also really like this Pac-Man shirt…

This Galaga shirt as well…

Also taking place in Japan was an exhibition held by the JARGA (Japan Retro Game Association); miki800 was there and captured some interesting bits of hardware, with the highlight being (IMHO) this Mega Drive clone that resembles a perfect mix of the model 1 MD and the original Wondermega…

There’s no preview of the music yet, though may as well share the recently unveiled cover to the third (and final) installment of 8 BIT MUSIC POWER…

Meanwhile, according to Original Sound Version, Mitch Murder has released yet another soundtrack to another game that never existed. In this it didn’t come out for the Mega CD and doesn’t involve mecha…

Remember that Jet Set Radio figure I showed a while ago? Well, it's finally available for pre-order! Alas, it's not cheap, at least over at Big Bad Toy Store...

BTW, videogamesdensetsu shares with us what Beat looks like, sans-cel shading…

Sticking with VCD for a tad bit; here’s what Pulseman looked originally looked like, and he sure was cute!

Whereas NiGHTS looked goofier… as well as more menacing….

Am confident most people will not give a rat’s ass about seeing hand drawn Virtua Racing track designs, but as a massive fan of the series, oh man, oh man, oh man...

Two never before seen Saturn prototypes that must be: “[taken] with a grain of salt!”

Apparently Looney Tunes X The Matrix was actually a thing? Somehow this does not surprise me…

The work of Hideaki Kodama was recently highlighted, which was also recently auctioned; I wonder how much this painting of various PC Engine hardware went for?

Yet another Kickstarter mention? Yup. And this one is Jed Henry's third crowdfunding campaign: this particular variant of the Ukiyo-e Heroes concentrates on boss battles, with perhaps my fave piece being his depiction from The Breath of the Wild...

Am particularly fond of this image from the Street Fighter 25th Anniversary art book that grease-howard spotted, of old Chun Li chumming it up with her younger self...

Any and all BoJack Horseman fans out there may want to pick up this piece by Jude Buffum...

legendofnes reminds of that time Batman visited New Donk City…

It's just a bunch of cyber kids, all just hanging around, by sanigo...

Speaking of the gang, here we have the kids from Persona 5, by @aranciart…

Apparently, if Jedah (from Darkstalkers) ran a juice stand, it wouldn’t be the best, according to dreaminerryday…

The individual who runs SPLENDID LAND describes SLN-003 Gacha Man as a: "vendor robot who dispenses toys. even he doesn’t know what’s inside the capsules, so he always gets excited to find out"...

Meanwhile, here’s official artwork of Mario and Peach, courtesy of the thevideogameartarchive’s catalogue of the Mario Golf N64 manual; am pretty sure I’ve seen images of Mario looking distressed, though never to this degree…

The above is something Super Mario Broth would normally deliver, and speaking of, may as well share some recent faves on that end! Like these photos from a promotional campaign with a Japanese sports drink when promoting Mario Sports Superstars…

Instructions found on the arcade cabinet for Vs. Super Mario Bros (which I remember so distinctly, and fondly)…

From some Japanese video guide for the same game (am assuming the home Famicom version this time)…

A greeting card (am assuming a Valentine’s)...

Mario without his hat, as he appears in a Game Boy controller test cart that Nintendo service reps used to calibrate buttons on a the handheld…

And he we have a shortcut in SMB3 that I had no idea existed, and it’s a safe bet that most don’t either: “In Super Mario Bros. 3, the rock between the path to the first fortress in World 4 and the Spade Panel can be destroyed with a Hammer item, allowing the player to bypass the fortress. There is no obvious indication that this rock is destructible, as it is surrounded by decorative rocks. In fact, many guides for Super Mario Bros. 3 do not mention this shortcut.”

As for Super Mario Broth’s counterpart, Sonic the Hedgeblog has seen plenty of action as well… largely pinpointing all the obscure references found in Sonic Mania, So head over for that if that sounds like fun to you! Otherwise, there’s also the Mario Bros having a Sonic Panic…

A reminder of how Sonic looked at one point as he was being prepped for the Dreamcast; it would appear that at a certain point, in Sonic Adventure, he was going to look a lot more realistic…

And this issue with EGM featuring a sneak preview of Sonic 2 is the very first video game magazine that I ever picked up!

Meanwhile, oldgamemags recently posted a page from an issue of GamePro, circa 2000, on a peripheral that allowed the Game Boy to play mp3s. Am sharing it cuz I really want a GB-looking mp3 player…

So someone on Twitter (who has since protected his account, so I’ll have to refer to nintendolife they snagged the pic before it was locked down) cracked open a electrocardiogram measurement instrument and found... a GBA? It’s theorized: “perhaps earlier revisions of the unit had different screens, and once the supply chain dried up MiE was forced to source the next best thing?”

vice-s-assistant sez: "OK Guys, I’m ready to hack."

According to bunney: "i was working at a convention arcade this weekend and some guy cosplaying ryu was playing street fighter with a blunt in his mouth"...

Can anyone tell what's being played here? At the very least, it's a nice shot (via rekall)...

Much like Arcade Crusade, I have no idea what’s going on, and I agree that whatever it is, it looks intense...

If you’ve ever wanted an artist’s rendering of the Raspberry Pi, then look no further than the work of retronator…

rasec-wizzlbang states: “those square cross sections of the human skin layers you always see in biology books but as like, a minecraft block”…

Courtesy of Arcade Crusade once again comes a very tender moment…

Is it just me or does this promo image for Food Fight sure does look like a Norman Rockwell painting? As seen on thedoteaters...

Here we have a flyer for a really old SNK arcade game (we’re talking really old; almost a decade before the Neo Geo was a thing) that looks like it was made with today’s sensibilities, doesn’t it?

Also via obscurevideogames is a moment of pathos from Hacchake Ayayo-san 4 - Sexy Olympics - Ayayo’s Live Affection. It’s… pretty obscure alright…

Yup, that's Hieronymus Bosch-styled Tetris all right (via freeindiega.me)...

crashcarnival presents: "true facts of the Ice Age"...

Hey, it’s the Ninja Turtles playing Pong (via rewind01)…

Behold, Fighters Megamix version 2017 (via lonelyfrontier)…

Yup, that is definitely a Chu Chu Rocket skirt  (via radicalhelmet)...

For those who have ever wondered what their Sonic character’s political leanings are, in relation to the rest of the crew (and can’t be bothered to sift through DeviantArt; via erratticusfinch)…

Face to face (via futureisfailed)…

It’s been out for a while, though it’s not too late to pick up this Xenogears tribute zine, right?

Just a friendly reminder of how bat-sh*t insane Sin & Punishment is (via n64thstreet)...

Zimmerit.moe has everything you need to know about a game by Square involving mecha that you’ve probably never heard of. And no, am not talking about Thexder; it’s even more obscure than that (am talking about Cruise Chaser Blassty BTW/FYI)...

Meanwhile, Michael “Kayin” O’Reilly discusses the “Barrel Distortion” look that emulators use to recreate the look of playing something on a CRT display and why it’s total crap…

And… that’s  it! You’ve made it to the end! Enjoy a cool, refreshing drink with Pac-Man (on the behalf of arcade-crusade)...

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

[themadcapmathematician]

all i know abt transformers is the shia movie and the fact that darren criss plays one in the cartoons i think? should i get into transformers is what i'm asking

Oh god this is my favorite question. I’m not sure how to answer it but its my fave. Pull up a chair. I hope you’ve got some time on your hands.

The short answer: yes. You should at least give it a try. Transformers is a 30+ year old muti-media franchise that gets rebooted almost every 3 years so it basically has something interesting to offer almost any fan. If you end up not liking it that’s cool but there’s a lot to try before you decide.

The long answer is: yes you should and here’s why and here’s a rough idea of all the options you have to sample. I’m about to go on a long rant anon so you can check it out now or later or whatever but I’m just warning you ahead of time.

The basic Transformers plot (which I’m sure you know but I’m gonna go more in depth in a minute) is that a race of giant robot aliens who can turn into vehicles and other things have been engaged in a civil war that has lasted millions of years. This is the basic plot that all tf franchises spawn from although some explore slightly different subject matters. If that doesn’t appeal to you I mean there /might/ be a few other things you might find worth sticking around for because there’s just so fucking much of it, but you’re welcome to turn back now because that’s the basic things tf has to offer: giant robot aliens, cars and planes, fighting, some drama. Those are what tf is best at, with some variation.

It has a very active and long lived fan base and each section of the fan base is interested in different stuff with some crossover. There are people who literally only care about collecting the toys, people who wont try any other series except g1, people who only like the comics, etc. Etc. You’ll probably find people who like what you do pretty readily. If you like the toys there are toy forums and blogs. If you like the cartoons there are forums and blogs made for that too. If you like the comics, same. There’s a pretty active following of the comics and cartoon series on Tumblr alone; I would try searching the #maccadam tag since most tf activity has been moved there since the bay movies came out. Id also use the tf wiki liberally because it has pm all the information you’ll need to know about the fandom and the canon lore. There’s also plenty of fan fiction on Ao3 and ff.net if you’re into that and pm anyplace that hosts fan art has tf fan art.

Now there are several series, including comics, cartoons, the Michael bay films, the cartoon movie, spin off books, and video games. I’m gonna go over my personal favorites because I like and know them best but there are more than these if you’re interested in digging deeper.

(More under the cut)

G1: there are a lot of forms of what fans refer to as Generation 1 or G1 but if you live in the US its likely they’re talking about the very first cartoon series.

Summary: the autobots and the decepticons stripped their planet of resources and went looking for a new planet to continue surviving on. They both crashlanded on earth where they lay dormant for millions of years until conveniently awakened somewhere during the 1980s, where they continue their war all over again

Why you should try it: listen its cheesy as hell and full of nonsense plotlines and animation errors but not only is it good fun but at least watching an episode or two might give you a decent grasp on what spawned this enormous franchise in the first place.

G1 movie: this movie was a game changer. Its technically right in the middle of the g1 cartoon but it works as a standalone film too. while it has many trappings of the cartoon its better animated and has a more consistent and dramatic story.

Summary: Optimus Prime and Megatron fight, OP dies (yes he fucking DIES for the very first time. thousands of 10 year olds bawl their eyes out), Megatron gets mortally wounded, and the Matrix of Leadership (aka an autobot holy item/macguffin [this is the proto-cube btw]) has to choose a new leader.

Why you should try it: decent animation, classics lines, tons of 80s rock music, and it establishes a lot of tf conventions that would be carried over to all series that come after it.

Beast Wars: haha the 90s couldn’t be left out of the transformers fun, now could it? This was one of the first all-cg cartoon series in history and while its not much to look at nowadays, it was a big step in the 90s.

Summary: the series doesn’t center on Optimus Prime and Megatron but their decendants. The war is long over but some factions are starting to clash once again. Several members of these factions do the whole “crash land on earth while fighting” thing except they wake up during times before humans and instead of taking vehicle modes, they take animal forms, thus the name.

Why you should give it a try: it establishes the idea of Sparks for the first time, it has historical significance in the cgi realm, and it has a decent storyline with interesting characters. If you can muscle through the 90s-computer-animation look it might be the show for you!

Transformers: Animated: I dont think its a secret that this is one of my favorite tf series of all times. It was the first cartoon series I ever watched of tf and it also features my favorite toy line.

Summary: Optimus Prime is much less a war hero and more of a ..janitor really. He flunked out of the academy and spends his time repairing space bridges. One time during repairs though, they stumble across the Cube and just their luck, Megatron and some nearby cons are looking for it. They portal away to earth where they, you guessed it, crashland, until they’re awoken sometime in the future and go on adventures in futuristic Detroit.

Why you should give it a try: I like tfa’s art style and story and characterisation best tbh; Optimus is younger and more unsure of himself but also more earnest, with more visible baggage. The rest of his team feel like a ragtag band of misfits (which I have a weakness for no lie lmfao) who are still trying to find their place in this conflict and the future ahead of them. Sari is also one of the more beloved human companions and the show’s take on classics characters feels fresh and interesting, and the interpretation of the autobots and decepticons themselves is surprisingly nuanced.

Transformers: Prime: remember that 90s animation? Kiss that shit good bye my friend. This cgi is some beautiful shit. More than a few fans wish tfp is the art direction the movies had taken, storyline aside.

Summary: the autobots are already on earth, staking it out and fighting a more subdued sort of conflict with the cons. One day they get some human kids involved and stumble across some conspiracy shit and it all spirals out of control from there.

Why you should give it a try: great animation and atmosphere, gorgeous character designs, a solid interpretation go the characters, and it offers a more serious take on the story over all.

Rescue Bots: I’ve noticed this show doesn’t make the list a lot which is a shame? It has a much younger audience than any of then other series but its still quality and one of my fave tf series.

Summary: the ship of four non-combatants who were left in stasis before the war detect a transmission telling autobots to go to earth, so it…goes to earth. There they wake up on some island and are told they’ve gotta start building a repatoire with the native species…but they can’t reveal that they’re sentient aliens yet.

Why you should give it a try: ok ok, most of the series are made for 7-12 year olds with the teen and adult fans sort of in mind, this show…is a show made for pre-K kids, no joke. Its a lot less…murder-y, and this is especially saying something because it came out at the same time TFP did and in fact is supposed to take place in the same universe!

BUT, but it has a consistently well-written story and characterization, it addresses stuff I never thought it would, and its a nice break from the ridiculously high stakes of the other series. Honestly Rescue Bots is great and I wish more people talked about it because its a series totally worth watching, certainly as much as any of the others.

More Than Meets the Eye comics: there are a lot of comic series but so far this is my favorite one lol

Summary: the war is over, Optimus is done with everyone’s shit and splits the matrix in half, giving one to rodimus and they other to bumblebee. And what does roddy do with his newfound matrix half? Decide he’s going on a quest of course! And who better to go with than literally every unqualified misfit the autobot and neutral factions have to offer?

Why you should give it a try: ridiculous shenanigans, horror, drama, intrigue, strong characterisation, and a killer aesthetic. Damn it may not always give me what I want but its got a lot of exactly what I’m always looking for.

There are some video games (Fall of Cybertron, War For Cybertron, Transformers: Devastation), other comic series (Robots in Disguise, G1/UK comics), and the Robots in Disguise cartoon, however I don’t have a decent enough grasp on them to describe them super well I just know they’re pretty good and have had people recommend them to me. You’re welcome to try those as well of course.

Also if you’re into toy collecting or want to get into it there’s a lot of materials you can read and such but my personal advice is pretty simple:

1) go to walmart, target, a store that sells collectibles, a convention, or a garage sale

2) buy a cheap toy that you like. Don’t spend over like $20

3) decide if that was a fun experience or not and if you like having this toy or not

If you liked it enough to keep buying, then congrats, toy collecting might be right for you! Do your research, Don’t blow too much money too quickly, take it easy, have fun.

But yeah sorry this is really long but I do hope you consider giving transformers a try since I know I love it a lot and it really has a lot to offer. I hope this wasn’t like…a crazy response. That a crazy person might give. And that I didn’t scare you away or anything XS

the key is to try some stuff and have fun and if its not your thing that’s cool too! Have a chill night anon

[dorotheian]

So finally I can put my own two cents in on what I saw in Last of the Jedi.

I understand why people would be put out by it. IMO, it’s between a rock and a hard place: multiple perspectives, not enough time—barely enough to round it all out at the end (I kept wondering when the endpoint was going to be), and relying on a thematic/mythic approach that slides over certain cause-and-effect holes. But since when has a Star Wars movie not relied on all the dominoes being lined up just so? And is simultaneously trying to show what happens when the dominoes aren’t stacked neatly? It’s taken almost too far. I’m just gonna accept that the timescales were VERY generously stretched.

Poe’s and Finn’s sides of the conflict were comparatively—perhaps equally—weak. Rey carries the movie; but she’s not even doing that much until the end. Poe and Finn are much more active. Rey has the luxury of time and contemplation which they do not have: they, like the Resistance, are moving in “real time,” getting messy, making mistakes, living on a wind and a prayer and the conviction that if they follow their inner compass, it will all turn out right.

The heroes are contrasted with their leadership. Rey/Luke, Kylo/Snoke, Finn & Poe vs. Leia and Harlo; and right up at the end, it’s Hux/Kylo (Hux is doing his best to knock out Kylo—to be continued). ALL of these leaders are deeply flawed, and I think the movie was attempting to explore those flaws. The flaws of too much experience, and too little; of long service, and temporary roles; of not recognizing one’s place, and struggling to impose an unnatural chain of leadership and command (Harlo and Hux).

In Leia’s and Harlo’s cases... *sigh* Yup, they held onto that idiot ball. Leia’s displeasure should have focused more on taking away Poe’s command (if that plot point had to be there to begin with) than a stupid face-slap. If it is in character, a face-slap reveals Leia’s weakness as a commander in using such a crude and despotic crutch. Then Harlo was abrupt, condescending, and overly secretive. There was no need for her to hide her own plans except for extra drama in the late reveal. Admitting in private that she likes that hot-shot pilot in no way makes up for unnecessarily abrading him in public. Whether Poe is ranked as a soldier or not, Harlo made the mistake of treating Poe like a soldier when he is a fully actualized, free-thinking leader. It cost valuable time. It was a rookie mistake; she stepped in to an interim temporary role and held the reins too tightly. I sympathize, because temporary authority is a deuce to handle, but it in no way excuses her. Nor do I think Poe did right in undermining her; but he was making decisions in real time to save the Resistance. (Interesting parallel in Star Trek Discovery, btw.) I don’t like Harlo’s interpretation of Leia’s favorite saying: there’s no need to manufacture ignorance to spur creativity and faith. Creativity thrives on the facts. Faith does not rise on command. It can be encouraged as a culture but not manipulated or demanded in a battle. Leia, meanwhile, seems to have mellowed in her wisdom: she has grown cautious and withdraws her support too early. Nevertheless (in private) she trusts in and relies upon her fully grown, free-thinking pilots to make their own decisions. (Leia. Leia. Come on now. Show some class. You can’t have it both ways.)

Finn’s arc is plain messy. A cantina, again? OK, it’s a high-class one, we’ll call it a casino. WHATEVERRRRRR. How easy it is to hate decadent rich people; they’re dismissible stock villains. It was too convenient, too chancy. Why couldn’t we have gone to the Star Wars equivalent of Wall Street?!! That’s my main huff. I think Finn and Rose as characters were okay. I don’t like that Finn gets pre-emptively attacked so early in both TFA and TLJ. I wish Rose and Finn could have met a different way. Given in-universe reasons, I do understand Rose’s attack because Finn was acting twitchy and evasive, she’s apparently found other deserters, she’s a good soldier, etc.: she’s no dummy and she did the genre-savvy thing. It’s just genre-savvy to the wrong story. Finn, meanwhile, is canonically terrible at explaining why he’s doing what he’s doing—his first instinct is to make excuses and hide his real intentions (he probably learned that for survival on the Death Star, let’s be real) even if those intentions are good and sympathetic. He just assumes that nobody will listen to him right off. So I don’t blame Rose; I blame the writer who put Rose and Finn in that awkward situation. Rose doesn’t taser Finn because he’s black per se, but she is a bit quick to the punch, and that’s the problematic part. Real black people do get killed because they aren’t afforded the benefit of the doubt. In-universe, if she didn’t taser him right quick, she’s obviously a slacker at her job; if she does, she’s a racist bitch. There’s no good outcome to that situation. Oh, another thing I noticed: Finn doesn’t have time to enjoy himself at the cantina, but Rose can take all the time she wants rescuing the alien steeds? *rolls eyes* Yeah, knock that off. Spare me. It wasn’t funny. It looks bad. I will be disappointed if Finn/Rose is chosen as endgame over Finn/Rey. Fandom is of course free to do and enjoy almost whatever it likes, but I think that making that choice in canon would be cowardly.

Poe bought time. He didn’t have a mission to complete. Finn bought time, and did complete his mission. In terms of story impact, Finn has more. Both are equally mixed up in enjoyment and sensibility of plot. Are their plots racist? *takes a deep breath* Yes, kind of. In a “white women wield power recklessly” sort of way, and in a “white woman author wrote some insensitive situations” kind of way.

Now, onto Rey and Kylo. Despite my wishes, they got center stage. To my surprise...I’m okay with what they did with it. I think the directers put enough bait for Kylo and Rey to exist as a dark ship... perhaps unfortunately... buuuuuuut! I still think Kylo/Rey isn’t romantic. Rey is way more fond of Poe or Finn than she is of Kylo. (Personally, I like Kylo’s face, but I did not really need to see him topless? Not a sexy torso? It was plainly framed and barely romantically coded. Methinks it was restrained for a reason.) I like the argument that this movie is about Rey willingly becoming the bridge for Kylo to get out of the abusive hole he’s stuck in: not immediately, but someday. She sticks with her boundaries, and she respects the shaky place where Kylo stands. Rey will not throw herself or the galaxy away for Kylo. Rey will not give Kylo a free pass for his beliefs and choices. The ball is in Kylo’s park. He must see that empire is not the answer to peace for himself before there is any more cooperation. They have reached détente.

Luke carried on in his way like a grand old grizzled idiot. Kylo’s backstory reminds me more of Jason from the Jedi Academy books than anything. Be that as it may... I grasp in concept why Luke fell to the extent he did: he had a serious crisis of temptation and intent. But emotionally speaking, it’s a lot harder to accept. Why was he of all people susceptible to that temptation? I have only two plausible explanations. 1) Time, age, and possibly an inappropriate station for him—teaching seemed right, but it probably wasn’t really his thing for one reason or another; 2) he trusted the Jedi way and its biases too much, and misunderstood Force presentiments, partially incurring his own tragedy. (Kylo was set up, but he still made his own choices.) He trusted the Force more than he did his own knowledge of the people around him. And even acknowledging that on some level, Luke’s still susceptible to those prejudices! Look, if the Dark and Light are part of the same continuum like you say, why’d you freak out about Rey’s and Kylo’s being naturally drawn to the dark? Plain hypocrisy and superstition make Luke unable to keep a level head. Between them both, Rey and Kylo have a better grasp of the proper place of presentiments than either Luke or the Jedi Council ever did. Rey and Kylo both saw a future biased by their own perspectives. But, knowing the possibilities, they carefully acted on a new present independent of both their visions on a foundation of trust in one another. Both were right, but not completely so—and as it should be.

But I am glad Luke died the way he did; letting Kylo make his choice and rage and do his worst, but by also taking the consequences out of his hands. He made sure Kylo grasped the depths of his own brokennness, and kept Kylo from sullying his hands again. Luke chose to die like Obi-wan chose to die—in confrontation with their past, and falling not on their apprentices’ lightsabers, but at peace with themselves and the Force. It is not precisely self-sacrifice. They purposely make death their last lesson, their last gift of peace and hope, to their wayward pupils. Their life and their death are two things their apprentices could not spoil because Luke and Obi-wan chose in the end not to let them. In doing this, they reclaim ownership of their own choices and their actions, of their own burden of responsibility for the path that their lives took, and assert that these hold more power than their apprentices’ mistakes. It is not only acceptance and forgiveness, and a hope that their legacy lives on even after their death, but a confrontation and a refusal to let their apprentices continue to fall down the path of murder. They deny them this step of depravity.

Rey’s parents? Meh.