#this is perfect anon

[spongebobafettywap]

Nightcrawler during Krakoa : Found the Crucible "beautiful" (gladiator style fight in an arena in front a live audience between a depowered mutant and Apocalypse where Apocalypse would definitely kill whoever he faces, adult, teen or child, painfully just so the depowered mutant gets to be resurrected with their powers again), made a law about mass reproduction after getting taunted by Mystique to do something and using a Bible quote to come up with it, made his own religion, had an inquisition, sent plenty of mutants to the vore hole and even threatened to do so to one just because she was selling contraceptives which would have gone against the only law he made, spent a run telling people not to abuse resurrection only to abuse it himself in the following one, goes around pretending to be Spider-Man for a while to avoid his responsibilities while Fall of X goes down, becomes the chosen one through a retcon, gets his mere conception retconned to now sound like something out of someone's very specific succubi/incubi fetish, gets Rogue added into his own sexual fantasies, never bothered officially changing the laws of the island, convinced people to let themselves get nuked during AXE because they'll get resurrected afterwards anyways, gets his mommy issues pushed to the extreme and be fully onboard with that biological family, gets a useless sword made out of his hope that only served for a Retcon, talks about his time at the circus with his adoptive family as if his adoptive mother was some kind of abusive alcoholic, spent more time talking to Sinister than talking to any of his friends, killed people during Fall of House of X, tore out Apocalypse's eyes in another book, ... Which he all did willingly and of sound mind and body

The X-Men fandom but especially Nightcrawler fans : I sleep

Azazel : Is part of an ancient mutant group with a name that sets it apart from being anything purely demon/magic related, is referred to by his mutant group many times in the story, is considered a mutant on the island that only lets mutants on it, loses his mutant powers when a power nullifying collar like those in Days of Future Past and at the Hellfire Club is placed on him, is a megalomaniac and pathological liar who likes pretending he is something he is not to get what he wants from people and especially humans who let their superstitions get the best of them, ...

Also Azazel : Gets referred to as a demon once in the story by a writer (Claremont) known to disregard editors and other writers' input while doing his own thing

Nightcrawler fans : REAL SHIT ? *proceed to think Nightcrawler is now a full on demon so by that logic he totally deserves every terrible thing that has ever happened to him like mobs wanting to kill him so Azazel should be retconned off him even tho "someone needing to only be judged by their actions" is the entire point of Nightcrawler's character and that condemning someone for something they have no control over like who they are biologically related to is absolutely shitty behaviour*

.

[retquits]

may i ask how you feel about march x ryis in fom? 👉👈

I FEEL VERY STRONGLY

[shepscapades]

Maybe now would be a good time to mention that Etho doesn’t technically join hermitcraft until after the start of Double Life… which means. Yeah dbhc Etho is still in reset-mode for the entirety of Double Life (this is about equally upsetting as it is genuinely hilarious)

(Despite being explicitly told not to force Etho to re-deviate by Xisuma and Doc, and after roughly a month of no luck, I’m sure you can imagine the impatience and desperation that went into Bdubs’ decision to sign Etho up for the next life series, considering the last one was the last time Bdubs really saw Etho. Or. As himself anyway.)

[lexosaurus]

every time i read more of your danny phantom themed gym bro nonsense i regret knowing how to read

*snorts a line of preworkout*

You know, Fen-teeny-tiny, as far as hypertrophy's concerned, it's really all about the stretch you get when you do lat pulldowns. See, when most people do lats, they're using their arms too much. Not me. I get that full stretch on the lat when I do my pulldowns. It's how I get this dorito shape. Not that you'd know what a lat stretch feels like, Fen-twerp. I don't even think you know what a lat is. But it really is all about the stretch. When I work my triceps, for example, I always go overhead with my extensions because that's what gets you the best stretch on the long head. It's why my arms are so thick. Unlike yours, which are so thin I'm surprised this slight breeze isn't snapping them in half. If you ever wanted to do a push or pull day with me, Fent-RPE-0, I could show you the ropes. My gym program is insane. Max failure on every set. You'd be so sore the next day. Not that I care, or anything, I'm just saying—

[emry-stars-art]

Can I be cheeky and ask for some more tiny jellyfish Neil? I love him so much. In my pocket.

In your pocket!

[choccy-milky]

✨ pokémon AU! 🔴✨ clora is mainly fairy & psychic (bc shes sweet but also smart) whereas seb trends towards fire/dark (even tho i only ended up giving him 1 dark pokemon...shhh) i originally gave him a houndour, bc dark + guard dog was such a perfect combo for him, but arcanine ALSO suits him and is way cuter so i had to go with that 🥹 and i had to fit in a raven and a snake pokemon somewhere bc...cmon🥰 BAHAHA

TYSM to the anon who inspired this!! it was so much fun

[christakisbang]

[cupid-tune]

consider long haired hal..possibly ....no pressure..

ANOOOONN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

[frownyalfred]

Dunno why but I live the idea of the JL stepping in to help save the batfam, when Bats is physically incapable to do so, and being very unaware that they're Bs kids

Just thinking they're helping out other gotham vigilantes and batmans sidekick only to end up doing one of the few things that would get the Bat to truly trust them: saving his family when he's unable to

Clark showing up with a Robin happily climbing his arm like a jungle gym: Hey B, I know you told us to stay out of Gotham, but I found this little dude in the evil lair you mentioned, and he said he knew you knew you, so. I figured he could come hang out, right? If he knows you outside of the cowl?

Bruce, actively bleeding out and leaning against a wall: ...

Clark, trading a look with Robin: you do know him out of the cowl, right? you weren't just making that up?

[arkarti]

He got some time to spare 😌

[oopsalloveragain]

Delicate

[uhohdad]

loser könig ‘comforting’ reader after she had a bad breakup/failed date…

(18+) Loser!König x Heartbroken!Reader

WARNING: MANIPULATIVE & COERCIVE BEHAVIOR

Loser!König’s brows are creased in sympathy, cooing reassurances in a soft, compassionate tone - but he truly could not be happier. He has to bite back the smile just begging to make the muscles in his face sore.

Loser!König hated your boyfriend anyway, such an arrogant jerk he was. König would treat you so much better, he would never make you cry. You can’t see it now, but you’re much better off.

Loser!König doesn’t dare miss his opportunity to touch you, rubbing your back soothingly as you cry, his hands dipping lower than they should on each descent of his gentle traces.

Loser!König’s cock is straining against his pants, and he can hardly bring himself to feel ashamed about it. The sound of your stuttered sobs and the sight of tears streaming down your face has his cock at full attention, a bead of arousal forming at the tip and threatening to stain his underwear.

Loser!König scoots closer to you, pressing his thigh to yours as he slings his arm over your shoulders, pulling you into his chest.

Loser!König sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, holding back a needy groan when your palm rests on his chest. He can feel your plush, clothed breasts graze against him with each of your faltered breaths.

Loser!König rests his cheek on the top of your head, eyes lulling as he inhales you. You’re intoxicating, he’s high off the scent of your shampoo and your touch, his cock throbbing with each breath of you he draws.

Loser!König will fix you a drink to make you feel better. Loosen you up a little. You’re so weak and vulnerable right now, he’s hoping that your ex not only just drove you into his arms, but into his bedroom as well.

Loser!König <3

[stealingpotatoes]

Why can't you email a photo to a Jedi?

Attachments are forbidden.

guys i think fix-it au anakin was in my askbox only he could tell this dad joke

[athousandbyeol]

[serafphim]

I'd love to see one of your OCs as a skuntank :0

skunpollo

[love-toxin]

@ eric draven, hes goth and metal And he kills people AND hes a feminist. literally the whole package what else could u want <33

UNNNNNGHHH AND HE'S GOT THE BIG WET PUPPY EYES GRRRAAAAAAAAHHHH

like.....like......imagine after the events of the crow Eric doesn't go back to purgatory or pass through to the afterlife, but rather finds himself staying in the land of the living for some unknown reason. he's got his revenge, he's avenged his beloved Shelley, but what now? what's his purpose?

but the crow won't speak to him any words of either comfort or doom, so he just wanders. wanders away from his city and home until he stops somewhere on the opposite side. spends time thinking and planning and thinking until he drives himself nearly mad and falls asleep. he can't do much else, or at least thinks he can't. when he's found no better place to roam he returns home, but when he steps up the curb to his apartment, he sees lights on upstairs. something dark stirs in him--protectiveness, maybe, he's sensitive to his home being invaded for obvious reasons--but when he leaps up and perches on the ledge of the shattered window he sees somebody he's never met before.

you're just standing in his apartment, sweeping up shards of broken glass like you own the place. humming to yourself. he remembers, briefly, what it was like when there was music in his home. but it used to be Shelley's laughter, and now there's a soft-eyed stranger singing a quiet tune in the lamplight, and he feels the same as he did back then. he sticks to the shadows because he doesn't know what to expect, but you just step lightly around the pile and sweep the glass shards into your dustpan. there's a little electric lantern keeping the place aglow and a few small bags of meager luggage huddled at the front door.

it occurs to him that you might be the new resident as he coldly watches you from a distance. it's obvious that the apartment would be repurposed at some point after his death, but how do you feel knowing that you're taking over the home of a dead man? that you'll lay your head in the same place where a couple were brutally and viciously murdered? where Shelley, his Shelley, was-

you tilt your head. your ears perked at the imperceptible sound and you nearly caught him staring, but he's a lot faster to hide than you are to see.

he leaves soon after that, but he finds himself returning every night. he learns things about you. you're industrious, for one--you work on the apartment whenever you're not working your job, both of which are tough, and you sleep on a hard mattress on the floor. you spend such a long time cleaning but when you find little things left behind of his or Shelley's, you don't throw them out. maybe you feel bad for them. maybe you know exactly what happened, and you don't want to disrespect their memory.

maybe you're a really, really good person that lives for a better world. Eric can't help but think that when he watches you tirelessly slave over renovating his apartment--he can't ever quite see it as something not of his own--taking down what was broken and making it into something beautiful again. he doesn't know you that well, he only hears your voice when you're talking on the phone or singing in the shower, but he grows to like you. you're gentle. you smile at little things and you laugh as sweetly as you cry. even when you feel frustrated or betrayed, when you get violent and punch something out of anger, you just feel it in such a raw way that it entrances him. you're complex. you're gorgeous. you're someone he could very easily fall in love with, but you don't deserve to feel his hurt in the way that he does. you can't shoulder his burdens with him when they're just too great for a mortal life.

so he resorts to watching you and feeling badly about it. he's kind of stalking you at this level, but he goes nowhere beyond following you to work and back and occasionally glancing through your window to make sure you're okay. one time he caught you freshly out of the shower with your towel nowhere in sight--you were out of clean ones and had to go digging--and he felt so bad about it he couldn't be around your place for weeks. but you deserve protection and all the love in the world, and if he can't give you one he can at least give you the other. at this point he would never forgive himself, he would probably burn down the whole city if what happened to him and Shelley happened to you. he would truly lose his mind.

it's only when you catch him that he has to stop and think on what he's doing, because there's no way he can explain himself properly--perching atop the roof of your apartment with the crow grooming its feathers at his side. when you stumble across him he wasn't even paying attention, just keeping an ear out for any screams or cries for help, but you mesmerize him because you're just so....so...

"are you....cold?"

kind. you're so warm he couldn't think of shivering in your presence. from that day on you're aware of his presence but you don't mind it. you welcome it. you don't know who he really is and you probably wouldn't believe him if he told you, but you welcome him in and that's fine because he really, truly is in love with you now. he has to be. because there's no way that his silent heart would start beating again for any other reason, even if it's just a trick of the mind and it's not really true. you touch his hands and feel cold skin and he's definitely still not alive, but he doesn't feel quite as dead as he was, and every day he spends growing closer and closer to you he feels death growing into a curse over a promise. maybe he doesn't really want to go back to sleep after all...not if the world has people like you, and not if a person like you could start feeling something for a restless, morbid soul like him.