#this is only under a read more in case you don’t want the movie spoiled
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incidentally hilarious to me in retrospect that Eliza Dushkus character was built up to be potentially evil or something when in actuality she was just having lesbian sex with the woman they collided with in the car crash who also died dyking it up in the afterlife minding her business 😭
#soul survivors#this is only under a read more in case you don’t want the movie spoiled#it really is a brilliant movie#movie tag
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My loves!!!! Have I mentioned how much I love you? Because I do with my whole entire heart!!! You constantly show me endless amounts of love, and support, and kindness, and I am so undeserving!!! I want to show you how much you mean to me and how much you’re appreciated, and I thought a fun way to do that would be with ships!!! Info and rules down below :) I hope you like it my loves and that you’re as excited as I am!!! Thank you for following my loves, thank you for being so supportive and amazing!!! Ilysm!!!! Xoxoxo💜💜💜💜💜💜
Rules:
Only one ship per person - Because these are gonna be detailed, I wanna make sure it’s fair for everyone and that I have time for everyone :)
These ships are only for the succession fandom! - It's what I feel inspire to write right now, so any other fandom will not be written for with these ships! You don't have to specific if you want a succession ship, I will just assume :)
((SHIPS WILL BE OPEN FROM May 6th to May 10th!)) Anything sent after will be deleted unless specified otherwise!
What To Include:
The most important thing would be to include what gender/s you’d want to be shipped with :) You can also include physical appearance, personality, age, type of people you typically like/date, favorite things about yourself, maybe some insecurities, interests, hobbies, favorite books, movies, bands, animals, harry potter house, favorite places, dream jobs/homes/lifestyle/future, pet peeves, fears, anyone you look up to or idolize, weird things or facts about you. Basically anything that you find unique to you! I don’t want to make these sound repetitive, so the more unique to you, the better!!!! :D
What Comes With The Ship:
That'll be a surprise! I really want to make these unique so I'm trying something different than I did last time. I think it'll be different than typical ships but I don't want to spoil anything!!!
I've done this twice before under the #johnnyshellby-ships and #jammesbarnnes-ships (my old url) so I'm gonna tag this #kaitbishop-ships in case you'd want to block it :)
If anyone wants to add a ship for ya gurl that would be really cool, but of course not necessary! Here is some info about me: I’m Enna (she/her) I’m 22, and I’m a Hufflepuff! Asexual + bisexual! I love writing, reading, swimming, painting, cooking, and scary movies!!! I’m in college atm, majoring in English. I want to be a middle school English teacher when I graduate! I'm an infp, quiet and shy, kind, I don't show affection well, but I am v loving! I have blue eyes, copper hair, freckles, and tattoos! I'm 4'11" and I hate it lol. My favorite place is the beach and anywhere by the ocean! 💜
I'll try to get to these asap and they'll be posted between posts, but please understand I am one person so they might take some time! Xoxoxo💜💜💜💜
Tagging: @locke-writes
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Welcome to the third part of my Mario retrospective. Here are the first and second parts if you want to read. Or don't! I'm not your boss. Since this movie is somewhat recent, I'm gonna put part of this under a spoiler. There's not really much to spoil; I just wanna be on the safe side.
Super Mario Bros. (2023)
The final movie, for now. Despite the critiques I’m going to give later on, I enjoy it quite a bit! It’s a very fun movie and is what it set out to be even if there’s a few places where it stumbles.
A lot changed about the Mario franchise in just one decade after the live action movie’s release: characters’ clothes, names, the complete disappearance of anything related to Brooklyn, New York, and so on. Imagine what can change in three decades!
…Not too much more that’s relevant here. The series aims to be a static one, and this was very much the case during the 2010s. It’s only recently maybe kind of sort of getting away from that? Just a little bit. But this cementing of the Mario series identity is a big change in itself, and with Nintendo looking over Illumination’s shoulder, they couldn’t exactly get away with putting the Mushroom Kingdom’s inhabitants in leather and chains.
Nintendo choosing Illumination to take on this project makes sense the more I think about it. Not only are their movies generally well-received, they have experience doing adaptations like The Grinch (2018), and of course, The Lorax (2012).
Let’s consider the Mario Movie Dilemma: How does Super Mario Bros. (2023) balance being a movie and being Mario? With Illumination’s talent and Nintendo’s strict oversight, it maintains this balance the best out of all three movies. Sure, there’s some wonky casting choices, some licensed music that doesn’t quite fit, and a feeling that the movie is about to burst from the seams with references, but it keeps its balance much like a unicyclist juggling on a tightrope.
The decision to keep in line with the last two movies and follow Mario and Luigi’s first foray into the Mushroom Kingdom is a strange one. As mentioned before, Nintendo had since made it so that they were born there, and hadn’t mentioned Brooklyn since. When this plot was announced, many fans were confused, assuming Mario always lived in the Mushroom Kingdom. I don’t think this movie had to be an origin story, there’s other plots that could’ve been made to fit the Mario Formula™, but it does make it easier to establish the characters.
Speaking of the characters, another big change that separates this movie from the other two is that the game characters have established personalities now. Mario is a happy-go-lucky guy with a lot of determination, Luigi is timid and easily frightened, Bowser is a brute that’s evil for the fun of it, Peach is sweet and dainty, Donkey Kong is an easygoing meathead, and Toad sounds screechy.
These are simple characterizations, but they’ve had a good 20 years to marinate. They alone struggle to carry the kind of mainstream movie this one wants to be, so let’s see how they’re built on.
Mario - He’s an average guy, not as gung-ho as his game counterpart but not world-weary like the live action movie version. His family doubts his dreams, giving him underdog woes, yet further bolstering his determination. The beginning of the movie demonstrates that he’s already skilled with jumps and stuff before the adventure but inexperienced enough that there are still challenges for him to face during it. He is an acceptable protagonist …and yet, it feels like there’s something missing. Many have said that canon Mario doesn’t have a personality, and I’m not going to argue that he’s complex or anything, but he’s an endearing little guy. This Mario is just a guy. Despite having the most going on out of any depiction of Mario I’ve seen, this one feels the blandest to me. It’s not his design, it’s not even entirely his voice (though his voice actor’s lack of energy was an issue). He’s not very animated, I think. There’s never any moments where Mario stands out to me. His expressions in the OVA were really charming. In the games, he’s not always the most animated in expressions, but his voice is. Aside from the things that are required of this Mario as a protagonist, there’s little to endear me to him other than his and Luigi’s relationship. And that leads into a whole other issue. As for whether he sets the tone of this movie... I can't say for certain. The movie is dead set on making the world of the games look fun, and Mario is having fun, but he seems kind of muted compared to the rest of the cast. If anything, I'd say everyone but Mario sets the tone here.
Luigi - Along with being easily scared like his canon counterpart, this Luigi really cares for Mario and thinks the world of him, which is also true to canon, but it really has a chance to show here. It also leads into some of the funniest lines in the movie. He’s also portrayed here as kind of helpless. It’s established that Mario is his protector, and wherever he goes, Luigi goes. Charlie Day’s performance is really spirited; I hope he was compensated for all twenty of his lines. That’s exaggerating, but yeah. He gets captured instead of Peach, which I understand why, though it did make me sad to know that he wouldn’t be a part of the adventure, especially after seeing how his and Mario’s relationship is depicted here. It would’ve been interesting to see an escape plan regardless of who got kidnapped, and Luigi taking steps to escape on his own would help tie together the character growth he has at the end a little better. But the movie doesn’t go that route. He sits there, barely getting lines.
Bowser - Perfect. No notes. Whenever they give Bowser lines in the games, he’s an evil jock who's larger than life. He’s basically the same character here, even down to the voice, which I was shocked to hear Jack Black pull off. The only difference in his characterization is the running gimmick of how insecure he is about wanting Peach to like him, which is fun.
Donkey Kong - In this movie, he’s a showoff-y jock who really loves his dad. It’s weirdly endearing at times. He’s also Mario’s rival and bickers with him a lot. I have mixed feelings, because while I do like how he and the rest of the Kongs were handled in this movie, removing them might’ve freed up some time for the main cast to get to do more.
Toad - He’s there. The trailers propped him up as if he was going to be the comic relief sidekick, but once the adventure starts, he’s barely in the movie. I got jumpscared a few times by him because I forgot he existed. You could remove him from the heroes’ group, and it would barely change anything.
Lumalee - Lumalee is not an important character, but I wanted to single them out because their whole gimmick is “cute creature says depressing things,” which probably overstays its welcome even for those who got a laugh out of it. Personally, I found it grating, but even more grating is that most scenes that could be focused on Luigi or any of the other more interesting prisoners focuses on this character instead.
Side Cast in General - Very good! For what some of the main characters lacked, the incidental characters really made things fun. The only one I have critique about is Foreman Spike, whose role in the movie (aside from being an obscure reference) is better filled by Mario and Luigi’s family.
You may notice that I skipped Peach. This is because from a creative perspective, she’s such an interesting challenge that she deserves her own mini-essay. She’s worth it.
Having a female character whose sole purpose is to be a damsel in distress has been seen as cliche for many decades, but you could get away with it to some extent in years past. Fans of the games are fairly resigned to it, but it would not be wise to go that route when trying to appeal to a broader movie-going audience in 2023.
On top of that, Princess Peach has the least consistent characterization of the main Mario characters. In most mainline games, she’s kidnapped, so we really only get to see that she’s sweet and dainty. Those aspects are still there in spinoffs, but the ones added onto her vary a lot. In Paper Mario games, she’s portrayed as strong-willed, in the Mario & Luigi RPGs, she’s proactive and clever, in some of the party/sports games, she doesn’t seem to know what’s going on all the time (“Did I win?”), and in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, she’s so oblivious that it loops back around into her seeming too cool to care. ‘The airship we’re on is exploding? That won’t stop me from having a nice tea party with my new friends Samus Aran and Solid Snake.’ So while Peach has a few established personality traits, there’s many different directions she could be taken in.
This movie decided to make her a proactive, actiony type, willing to defend her kingdom with her own two hands if it comes down to it. On paper, this sounds close to how she’s depicted in the Super Mario Adventures comics, which is my favorite version of her. Before rewatching the movie, I was going to say that the movie version of her felt like a watered down version of that in practice. I still think so, but not because there’s anything wrong with how she’s written. She just doesn’t get a lot of chances to shine. Every character kind of has that problem. There. That saved nine paragraphs of me rambling.
Despite my complaints about how some characters were (not) used, it doesn’t impact the movie too badly. The movie’s more plot-focused than character focused. There’s a lot of care put into staying faithful to the games in both looks and vibes, which I appreciate, while also being a fun movie in its own right.
The plot itself is not super complicated: Mario and Luigi stumble into the Mushroom Kingdom’s world and get separated, and Mario wants to rescue him. In the meantime, Bowser is trying to take over the world and marry Peach. Very fitting for a Mario plot.
What the plot may lack in complexity, it makes up for in… stuff. Stuff is happening all the time. They really wanted to fit in as many things as they could from the games, and while it helps give characters things to do during their journey, it borders on feeling cramped.
Take Bowser’s beautiful power ballad, for example. I thought we were going to get a full musical number, only for it to be cut off right when I was really feeling it. The movie’s like “Chop, chop, we gotta move to the next scene.” It feels like it’s always running out of time, and it gets stressful at some points. I remember being on pins and needles during my first watch, wondering if it would give Luigi something meaningful to do in the last five minutes.
Watching this movie is like going on a tour in a beautiful city, but your tour guide is going at a breakneck pace. You still have a good time, but you don’t get to take things in as much as you want to. The movie has little room to breathe; I feel like this might be part of the reason some characters, Peach and Luigi especially, were mishandled. With so much going on, there’s no time to focus on them. I’m still looking forward to the next movie, though! Hopefully, they’ll slow down?
Let’s end things off with my personal ranking of each movie, from favorite to least.
Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach! (1986): Due to being released so early in the series’ lifetime, it’s a little odd to some, but it’s cozy and full of charm like any good Mario game. It succeeds at what it’s trying to do.
Super Mario Bros. (2023): It’s incredibly faithful to the current state of the series while being a fun movie in its own right, but key characters lack charm, and the experience can feel a little rushed.
Super Mario Bros. (1993): It threw away any resemblance to Mario in order to be its own movie and somehow failed at both. Pour one out for the visual artists.
Now, I am free from my mental shackles. Thank you for reading my ramblings. I hope you found something of interest.
#text post#super mario bros#super mario bros movie 2023#illumination mario movie#super mario bros movie#something interesting about this movie is how it mimics the live action movie's method for getting them to the mushroom kingdom#also it was so weird how mario's va would randomly mimic the game voice. like the real mario was possessing him or something
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Listen listen LISTEN!
I honestly have a like-dislike relationship with this guy! On the one hand, Edgar is an interesting character. Definitely changing expectations and showing complexity in the 4 out of 5 comics so far. The concept plot of the comic is an interesting idea to explore and how awe-inspiring that a story that would be considered TNBC fanfiction is an official comic is amazing. And for my fanon of NBC, I did imagine a pumpkin headed ruler as the previous Pumpkin King.
The Other Hand ((WITH SPOILERS)) is under the cut:
I want to give this comic the benefit of the doubt. I really do. Over the past decade, Nightmare Before Christmas has changed in ways I couldn’t imagine. Characters are getting more recognition, new content has been created, and a major antagonist whose screen time was ten minutes went from being an underrated villain to a beloved popular one with his own party named after him which becomes sold out in a matter of days.
HOWEVER! I’m noticing a pattern. Note that I will not spoil issue #4 in this post since it just recently came out.
Who shows Oogie what will become his own lair? Edgar.
Who gives Oogie snakes and bugs to eat, the very bugs that stick out of him and we see in the movie? Edgar.
Who mentions the idea of making Halloween Town more scary and dark? Edgar.
All these times plus what happens in #4, Edgar has been giving Oogie what we are familiar with. Heck, I’ll be surprised if Edgar has living shadow powers and gives that to Oogie as well.
Maybe it’s the writer in me talking or that I read tnbc fanfic or that I’m an Oogie fan or all three, but I just feel mixed about where things are going. Anything could happen at this point, I just fear of the implications where Edgar and Oogie are heading.
To me, there’s influencing/gaslighting, and then there’s spoon feeding. Maybe that was the point that Oogie prior to this was just a young monster easily influenced by a powerful figure and gradually changing into the “villain”. But I just feel that if anything, I would rather that Oogie finds out on his own his interests like “hey what’s this cool place? Lemme put my touch on this” than having another antagonist just giving him everything. It gives off the “the antagonist turned bad because of another antagonist’s ideals”.
Best case scenario: people find out what Edgar is planning, Oogie gets cheated, and Jack and Oogie defeat Edgar before going back to the contest. Jack wins. Oogie gets mad and he gets banished, taking the kids with him.
Worst case scenario: Edgar merges with Oogie somehow and takes control of him forever.
It’s hard to explain and I understand that there’s only so much you can do in only five comics. I do want to wait until issue #5 to form an official opinion on Edgar.
Also, I do plan on writing Edgar for my stories, but I will expand and change things. Don’t worry, I will do him justice.
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Hear me out
#Random Reblog#nightmare before christmas#the nightmare before christmas#edgar#edgar the pumpkin king#tnbc#the battle for pumpkin king#pumpkin king spoilers#spoilers#the pumpkin king#In conclusion I’m teetering on both sides#there are things I like and things I’m concerned over#curse me wanting to make characters complex#speculation#Edgar’s cool I’ll give him that
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normal - steve kemp: chapter one: into the lion’s den
WARNING! THIS FIC AND ITS DESCRIPTION CONTAINS FRESH SPOILERS. PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILED BEFORE THE MOVIE COMES OUT FOR REAL.
Plot: Hunting a new serial killer, FBI criminal profiler Agent Y/N Y/L/N’s boss decides that to catch this new threat, she needs to talk to the one person who can help them understand people like him...the cannibalistic serial killer Steve Kemp, currently in prison for murder. (Fresh x The Silence of the Lambs AU/Mashup) Pairing: It’s not exactly a Steve x reader fic, but he keeps flirting with her, and she’s....intrigued by him, let’s say. Warnings: Mentions of death, murder, maiming, serial killers, bodies and cannibalism. Also I tried to show how manipulative people like Steve are and how easy they can get under your skin. So if any of this sounds like something you’d hate, please do not read. 18+ Only please. Notes: OKAY LOOK. I’ve seen Fresh twice already, and I loved it, so I just had to write something for Steve. And I also decided to combine it with another of my favourite films that has sort of a similar theme I guess? Not sure if I’ll continue it and make it multi-parted, but we’ll see. It’s not a yes, but it’s not a no either.
Walking down the hallway towards the cells of the maximum-security prison, her heels clicking on the floor, Y/N Y/L/N tries to calm herself down. Her hands are clammy, so much so that she almost drops the file in her hands a few times. She has no idea why she’s so nervous. She’s been a criminal profiler in the FBI for at least five years now, and she’s met countless serial killers and other criminals without breaking a sweat. But for some reason, today, the day she meets Steve Kemp, the Portland Cannibal, she’s the most nervous she’s ever been. His story has been all over the news in recent years, with everything he did to all those women described in more detail than she’d like. She doesn’t usually keep up to date with the news on her cases, thinking it would negatively affect her investigations, but for some reason, something about Steve Kemp intrigues her more than it should. And she wants to know why.
So, when her boss told her she would be the one interviewing him in the hopes that he’d give them information that would help them find information to convict the newest serial cannibal terrorising Portland, she had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, maybe she can realise why she’s so intrigued by him and finally realising what makes someone like him do the things he does might help solve the case...but on the other hand, she’s fucking terrified. Soon, she reaches the end of the hallway, Steve’s cell being located right at the far end of the dark corridor. Because of course it is. Once she reaches the bars, she notices he’s got his back turned to him. “Hello?” She calls.
When the man in front of her turns around, she gasps slightly. He’s not what she expected someone like him to look like. She’s seen his face plastered all over news reports, but it’s different seeing him in real life. When you think of a cannibal who has kidnapped, maimed and killed multiple women, you think of a monster under the bed, someone who looks grotesque and frightening. You don’t expect someone who looks like the man who faces her now. He’s younger than she expected, for one thing. And he’s so....attractive. He looks better than she expected him to. She hates how she thinks that about him, but it’s true. He is really cute. He seems so...normal. But then again, if she’s learned one thing from her job as a criminal profiler, it’s that most serial killers look so...ordinary. And to her, that’s scarier than any monster under the bed. He steps forward, his blue eyes looking her up and down. Almost as if he’s sizing her up for a meal.
“Hello.” She jumps a little at the sound of his voice. But there’s a softness to it. And that’s making things even more confusing for her. Even though she knows what sort of person he is, everything he’s showing her tells her otherwise. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Now. Who might you be?” He chuckles, cocking his head to the side. She clears her throat and holds up her badge.
“I’m Agent Y/N Y/L/N. I’m a criminal profiler with the FBI.” The man leans in closer, peering at her badge. Nervously, she steps back. The man laughs.
“I know you’re an agent. They told me you were coming. Didn’t tell me you’d be a woman, though...or how cute you are.” He grins, and she gulps. His smile sends shivers through her blood. Considering the number of serial killers she’s met, it’s normal to be terrified of them. And Steve is not the first or the last to flirt with her. But for some reason, a part of her likes it when he calls her cute. And that’s what scares her the most, even when she’s thinking about the sort of person he is. Sighing, she shakes her head, as if she’s trying to move her thoughts of him and how cute he is out of her head. Steve frowns. “It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you. I can’t anyway.” He holds up his hands, wrists bound by handcuffs, and gestures to the bars in front of them. “I hate these fucking things.” He hisses under his breath, clearly not intending for her to hear him, but she picks it up anyway. Anger fills her blood, but she tries to keep it down. She can’t piss him off because then he won’t talk to her.
“Well, most people would say you got what you deserve, after what you did.” She mutters. He quickly looks back at her, and she sees a flicker of rage on his face. And there’s the rage he was hiding. She gasps, moving back in fear again. But almost as quickly as it arrived, his anger is gone, and he smiles at her like nothing has changed.
“You’re not going to eat me though, are you?” He asks. She shakes her head, and he laughs, making her frown. “Sorry, that was an awful joke. I’m-I’m Steve.”
“I know. You’re Steve Kemp, the Portland Cannibal. Convicted of murdering ten women and maiming another three. You’re also the main suspect in most of the missing women cases in the state.” Steve raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, am I now? And how many would that be?”
“...Twenty.” Steve sighs, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not that many! There’s a precision to my work. I don’t just grab every random woman on the street! I need perfection!” He exclaims, and she can tell he’s getting angrier.
“Well, um-” She begins, her voice shaky. But as if he senses the fear within, Steve stops her, immediately getting calmer.
“I’m so sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to scare you.” She hates how he calls her darling...and how that same small part of her from before likes it. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. “You did all this research on me, and I didn’t even bother to look you up. Not that I could, mind you, but I would’ve.” He nods as if he’s trying to reassure her. It doesn’t help much, but she knows that if she’s going to get anything out of him, then she has to pretend like it does. So she nods too, muttering a thank you under her breath. “Anyway...how may I help you, Agent Y/L/N?” She takes a breath, pulling out a file. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t me.” Steve cuts her off again, and she nods. “Sorry, my jokes are awful.”
“I know...that it wasn’t you, I mean.” She opens the file. “There’s been more women going missing in the Portland area. Bodies have been turning up. Similar MO to you. Body parts missing...bite marks.” Steve huffs.
“Okay, first of all, I didn’t just dump their bodies in random locations. I have a little bit more...finesse when it comes to my work. I didn’t bite them either. This doesn’t fit me at all. I’m sorry, but you came all this way for nothing.”
“Well.” She continues. “There’s clear evidence that some parts have been eaten and that we’re probably dealing with a cannibal.” Steve’s eyebrow raises.
“I see. I still don’t know how the work of this amateur fits me, though, aside from that.”
“I know.” She repeats. “But I...well, my bosses, thought-”
“Thought that if they sent you here, into the lion’s den, I might be able to help you realise what makes him tick so that you can stop him?” Steve finishes for her, and she nods. “I see. Well, it would be nice to stop having the work of that amateur connected to me. So, what would I get out of this?” He smirks. Her cheeks flush after he does that, which makes her feel even worse. Steve grins at her as he notices her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
“Well, I’m not sure...they didn’t specify anything, but....” She curses, flipping through the file in case there’s a note left for her, but she finds nothing. She checks a few more times but still sees nothing.
“You know, you need a new job if this is how they treat you.” Steve muses. “Sending you out here to speak to someone like me...all alone...no back up. It’s not very nice of them. I’d complain.” He steps even closer, his nose almost touching the bars of the cell, so close he can reach for her. “Who knows what could happen to a pretty girl like you in a place like this? I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” Something strange stirs within her. Why is he saying this to her? It’s not like he cares about her. Surely he’s just trying to get under her skin like they warn her about every time...but why does she like it so much?
“I’m um...I’m not sure, Steve. They didn’t tell me what you’d get out of it.” She hates how she feels like she has to apologise to him for this oversight, as if a monster like him deserves any special treatment after all the pain and hurt she’s caused. “I don’t think you’ll get anything else.” Steve nods and turns, walking away from her in silence. Her heart sinks. She’s messed it all up, and now he won’t talk to her. Now her investigation is back to square one.
“Okay.” He begins, his voice scaring her once again. “It looks like the only perk I’ll get out of this is helping you solve the case and advancing your career.” He sighs. “Usually, I’d say no, especially if it was a man doing this. But, I like you, Y/N. So I’d like to help you.” She blinks in confusion for a moment.
“Really?” She asks. Steve nods. Most of the serial killers she works with only help if they get something out of it by doing so. She’s never had anyone do it to help her. “Well...um, thank you, Steve.”
“So...” Steve trails off, grinning and leaning ever so slightly closer. “Shall we begin?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
TAGLIST: @buckysboobs and @sgt-seabass. If you’d like to be added to any more Steve fics I write, lemme know.
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it’s not christmas ‘til you come home
a/n: hello!! please enjoy this piece from my dad!harry universe! (u dont have to read any of them for it to make sense, but it would be cool if u did! loosely based on it’s not christmas ‘til you come home by norah jones <3 hope you enjoy! thank u to @harryysstyless for beta reading for me!! happy holidays everyone :)
warnings: SMUT, a bit of angst <3 word count: ~5.1k
my ko-fi! thank you :)
December 23rd, 2:00 PM
For as long as you and Harry have been in a relationship, you’ve never not spent a Christmas together.
Before expanding your family, you and he used to hop from party to party every Christmas Eve. Both of you would be absolutely trashed by the time Harry’s driver would drop you off at his house in the early hours of the morning. You’d sleep in until approximately noon, willing your hangovers to go away before finally making it down the stairs and into the kitchen to prepare two steaming cups of coffee. The two of you would then make your way into the living room and exchange gifts (where Harry always went way over the budget you’d set).
Once you had your first child, Allison, your yearly tradition of party hopping and getting so drunk you could hardly put one foot in front of the other was no more. Instead, you and Harry opted for calm nights in, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot cocoa until she eventually grew tired and got carried up to bed. You would wait an hour or so before springing into action, playing Santa and setting out all of the gifts she asked for and then some. Harry never forgot to take a big bite out of the cookie and carrot left out for Santa and his reindeer.
This tradition stayed the same once your second baby, Oliver, was born. Even though he was too young to know what was going on, Harry was still excited to spoil him rotten this year as it was his first Christmas. However, given the current state of the world, you were afraid Harry would not be here for the first time ever.
“Mumma, when’s daddy coming home?” your six-year-old, Ally, asked for what had to be the seventh time that afternoon. “I made him a drawing for his gift ‘nd I can’t wait for him to see it!”
“Let me see what you drew for Daddy, love bug,” you say cheerily, purposefully glossing over her question. Ally proudly holds her drawing up next to her face. She looks up at you with wide eyes, awaiting a compliment from you.
“That’s gorgeous, bug! Daddy’s gonna love it,” you inform her. “Maybe you can stick a lil’ bow on it and set it under the tree for him, hmm?”
“Good idea, Mumma!” Ally runs to the box where you kept all the supplies for gift wrapping, digging around for a pink bow to stick on the corner of her drawing.
While she’s preoccupied with finding the perfect bow to place on her drawing for Harry, you take a quick glance at your phone. He still hadn’t gotten back to you since last night’s quick conversation when he very briefly mentioned he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it home.
He was filming in Los Angeles. You shared your uncertainties about him going before he departed but in the end, this was an opportunity you didn’t want him to miss out on. You read the Los Angeles Times free articles on your phone daily, keeping track of the state of the pandemic in Southern California. You knew it was much worse there than it was at home in London. You feared what you were afraid of was sadly bound to happen— Harry may get stuck in LA.
You didn’t want to say anything to your curious daughter because communication with him had been so sparse. You didn’t know anything for certain yet. But what were you supposed to think? You knew flying nationally wasn’t a good idea at the moment, never mind internationally.
“Hey bug, d’ya think you can watch your brother for a moment? Mumma’s gotta go make a phone call.”
You hear your daughter let out a slightly irritated sigh. “I suppose I can, Mumma.” Ally responds with a voice laced with exasperation. You chuckle slightly under your breath at your overly dramatic (much like her dad) six-year-old and head into the kitchen, quickly dialing your husband’s familiar number.
“Hello?”
You let out a sigh of relief upon hearing Harry’s low, hoarse voice.
“Hi, honey. Just checkin’ in to see how things are going…” you hear shuffling on his end. “It’s December 23rd, you know.”
“I know, love.”
“Did I wake you?”
“Six in tha’ mornin’ here.”
“I’m sorry, H. S’just Allison keeps on askin’ when you’ll be home and ‘m just so worried you won’t make it home on time and you’ll miss Oliver’s first Christmas—“
“Darling,” Harry interrupts your anxiety-fueled ramble. “‘M gonna make it home. Have I ever not been there when I said I would?”
“No,” you say quietly. “I’m just worried, Harry. I hear traveling is going to get very strict because they’re trying to prevent people from going anywhere for Christmas…”
“Fine, then I’ll get my own plane with jus’ me and a pilot. Wear a mask the entire time and whatnot. Yanno I can make that happen if it’s necessary, pet.”
Harry’s calm demeanor about the whole situation brings you a bit of peace. Perhaps you were catastrophizing something that wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was a mere two minutes ago. If he wasn’t worried about not making it home, you didn’t see any reason to stress about it— not for one second longer.
“Okay then,” you reply, still a bit wary of his travel plans. “What shall I tell your daughter? She’s drivin’ me up the walls asking where you are every twenty minutes.”
Your husband lets out a breathy laugh, causing you to giggle along with him. “Tell her not to eat up all the Christmas cookies before I get a taste of one.”
December 24th, 8:45 AM
Part of you was hoping you’d wake up on Christmas Eve and Harry would be tucked into bed next to you, plump lips parted, the sound of his snores the only noise in the room. However, you were a rational woman, if nothing else. You knew he wouldn’t be by your side when you woke up.
You make your way down the hall and peek inside your son’s room. He was fast asleep, plump thumb in his mouth. You smile at your sleeping baby and gently close the door behind you, deciding to let him sleep in a bit longer before waking him up to feed him.
Next, you walk to your daughter's room, gently pushing open the door in case she was still sleeping. Instead, you find her sat at her desk, deeply focused on what appeared to be another drawing.
“Good morning, lovebug,” you greet your daughter in a sing-songy voice. “You’re up early. What are you working on?”
“Makin’ a letter for Santa,” she replies, not bothering to look up from what she was doing.
“A letter for Santa?” You start racking your brain for anything you and Harry could’ve possibly forgotten to get for Ally, but you finished your Christmas shopping for your children way back in November.
“Yes,” she answers matter-of-factly. “‘M askin’ him to make sure my Daddy is home by tonight so we can eat cookies together and watch Toy Story, Mumma.”
“I’m sure Santa will make that happen for you,” you reassure her. “You’ve been a very good girl this year, been so helpful with Olly and doin’ so well in school. The least Santa can do is get you whatever you want.” You see her smile as she digs around in her crayon box.
“Can we wait ‘til Daddy gets home to make Santa’s cookies, Mumma?”
“Sure we can, bug,” Ally claps her hands together excitedly, bouncing around in her tiny chair. “Gonna go make some pancakes, does that sound yummy?”
“Can we have chocolate chip pancakes please?”
“Are you askin’ me that because your dad isn’t here to throw a fit about it?” You give her a knowing smile, causing her to giggle.
“Maaaaybe…” Your daughter turns to face you, swinging her legs back and forth.
“If I make your chocolate chip pancakes, you can’t tell your dad. Deal?” You hold up your pinky. Ally gets up and runs to you and you bend down slightly so she can link her finger with yours.
“I pinky promise, Mumma!”
“Our little secret, yeah?” she nods. “Keep an ear out for your brother for me, bug. I’ll be downstairs.”
December 24th, 3:00 PM
“Love? ‘M afraid I got some bad news...”
As soon as Harry’s voice comes through on the other line, you can tell whatever news he’s about to share with you won’t be what you’re wanting to hear.
“What is it?”
It’s silent for what feels like entirely too long. You get up from your position on the couch next to Ally, telling her you’ll be right back. After breakfast, she convinced you to watch Toy Story with her, which quickly turned into a whole Disney movie marathon.
“Not so sure I’ll be able to make it home.”
You’re not sure if it’s his calm tone that bothers you, the fact that you didn’t want him to go to Los Angeles in the first place, or simply the fact that you and your children missed him terribly and haven’t seen him in nearly a month–– but your mood changes from relaxed to undeniably outraged in three seconds flat.
“You’re kidding.” Your tone is sharp, venomous. Harry once again takes a moment before responding, knowing that the current tone of your voice means he’d best proceed with caution.
“‘M not, love. I woke up early and everything to try and get this sorted out, it’s 7 AM so I was gonna try and catch an early flight––”
“I told you I didn’t want you going to LA,” you cut him off, voice rising slightly. “You knew how bad the pandemic was getting there. I told you this would happen.”
“What do you suppose I do then, Y/N?” His tone is becoming equally as sharp. “Y’want me to tell ‘em, “Sorry, I don’t give a fuck about the travel restrictions. My wife wants me home so let's make it happen!” ‘S that what you want me to do?”
“Don’t be a smartass, Harry,” you spit. “I’ll give the phone to your daughter and you can tell her you won’t be home in time for Christmas, then.”
“Y/N…” his tone is calm again. Fearful. “Don’t make me do that.”
“She woke up early to write a letter to Santa to tell him she wants you home by tonight, Harry,” your tone softens as well. “Even Olly has been asking for you. Swear his new favorite word is ‘dada’.” He laughs at this as do you, and the shared tension that was present just minutes ago dissipates.
“Just… lemme try a few more things before I tell her, yeah?”
“Harry, it’s already three here,” you gently remind him. “Even if you do make it home today, she’ll be asleep by the time you’re home. I think you just need to tell her.”
Your husband sighs, knowing you were undeniably correct. “Alright. Give Allison the phone, please.”
December 24th, 8 PM
“Almost time for you to head to bed soon, yeah Allybug?” Your daughter lets out a loud sigh in response, not shifting her gaze from the television to you. Ever since Harry told her he wouldn’t be home in time to eat cookies with her, she’s hardly said a word. She’s never experienced a Christmas Eve without her father so understandably, she was missing him tonight.
You shift Olly, who was falling asleep nursing on your lap, into a different position so you could face your daughter directly. From your new position, you can see just how tired she looks.
“‘M not sleepy, Mumma. Gonna stay up and wait for Daddy,” she informs you of her new plans. “When Daddy is home that’s when it’s time for bed.”
“Ally, remember what Daddy told you on the phone earlier? Santa won’t come unless you go to sleep.”
“I don’t wanna sleep,” she’s quickly starting to grow upset. “Not until Daddy tucks me in!”
You purse your lips, not wanting to argue with your headstrong daughter when your son was so close to drifting off into his nightly milk coma. Turning your attention back to the movie that was quietly playing on the television, you decide to drop it for now and try again later.
December 24th, 9:05 PM
Not more than an hour later, Olly is upstairs in his crib fast asleep whilst Ally is still laying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, fighting sleep. She was determined to stay up until her father walked through the front door, and you knew getting her to agree to go to bed was going to be a battle and a half.
“You’re not ready to go to bed yet, Ally?” Her eyes fly open once she hears you addressing her.
“Not yet, Mumma. ‘M not sleepy yet.” Her words are a little slurred due to the exhausted state she was in. You hum in response.
“Could’ve sworn your eyes just shut for a minute there,” you pause for a second to see if she’ll look your way. “Must’ve just been my old lady eyes playin’ tricks on me, y’think?”
“I wasn’t sleeping!” She immediately defends herself, frown lines indenting her forehead. “Can we drink more hot chocolate?”
You knew if you wanted your daughter to fall asleep within the hour, another sugar rush wasn’t the best idea. You instead offer her a hot cup of sleepytime tea and she excitedly agrees once you tell her it’s her father’s favorite type of tea to drink at bedtime. You place her down on the kitchen counter while you fill the kettle and wait for it to whistle.
“What are you looking forward to the most from Santa, bug?”
Her eyes light up at your question. “Well, I really want a new bike! ‘Member Mumma? How I asked him for a pink bike? And I also want a cool swing set! Since we haven’t been able to go to the park in so long,” her smile falters and she looks down at her dangling feet. “I want Daddy to come home the mostest, though.”
Your heart feels like it’s going to break in two upon hearing your daughter admit that Harry being home would be the greatest gift of all. “So do I, lovebug. He’ll be here in the mornin’ to watch you and your brother open all the gifts Santa got you though, don’t you worry.”
For everyone’s sake, you hoped that was true.
December 24th, 11:50 PM
Sleep wasn’t coming easy.
You finally got your daughter to bed at around ten o’clock and waited thirty minutes before laying out your children’s gifts. It took much longer than it usually did considering you had to do it all on your own. Harry was usually the one to quickly assemble the larger toys while you laid everything out around the living room.
Despite it taking longer than desired, you were proud that you got it all done without waking your children up. Consequently, that meant you were now left all alone with your thoughts considering you had no more tasks to occupy yourself with.
You kept contemplating calling Harry, but you weren’t sure if he was busy on set or not. Surely he was immersing himself in work to distract himself from the fact he would not be spending Christmas with his family.
Deciding you may need a cup of the sleepytime tea you offered Allison earlier, you quietly get out of bed and open your door, sock-clad feet padding softly against the wooden floors. It’s unnervingly silent in your home–– the tea kettle coming to a boil being the only source of noise. You keep unlocking and re-locking your phone, finally deciding to call your husband to see how he’s spending his day. It goes to automatic voicemail.
You assume the reason for this must be that he’s busy filming on set and set your phone down with a sigh, standing on your tiptoes to retrieve a mug from the cabinet. You mutter a slew of curse words under your breath intended for Harry who always puts the mugs up far too high even though you tell him not to.
Right as you begin pouring the now boiling water into your teacup, the faint jingling of your front door causes you to startle so badly that you nearly drop the kettle on the ground. You try to think back to everything Harry ever told you to do in the event of an intruder but your mind goes blank from fright. Deciding to use the scalding water as your weapon, you slowly creep towards the door, your only plan being to fling the water on whoever it was as soon as they got the door open. As soon as you hear the lock click, you flick the lid open that covers the spout and draw your arm back.
“Shit––”
“Harry?”
Your husband jumps slightly, his eyes blinking rapidly in an effort to adjust to the dark living room. You reach beside him and quickly turn on the light, shakily letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. He looks exhausted, his hair is an absolute mess, and his eyes are red from sleep deprivation–– but he’s home. You set the tea kettle down on the coffee table and fling yourself into his arms, breathing in the scent of the man you haven’t seen in a month. He drops his bags at his feet so he can properly embrace you, pulling you into him.
“Merry Christmas, darling,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head and stays like that for a moment saying nothing, just breathing you in. “Missed ya so fuckin’ much.
“How? I thought…” you trail off. “You said that they said…”
Harry laughs quietly. “Remember what I told ya? I said to ‘em, ‘Don’t give a fuck about your travel restrictions! M’wife wants me home.’” You laugh at him, knowing he was far too kind to talk to anyone that way.
“Yeah, okay,” you reply sarcastically. You pull him in for another hug, placing wet kisses along his jawline. “I’m so happy you’re home. The kids are gonna be over the moon, especially Allison.” Harry hums, surveying the room.
“Looks like you did a good job in here, Mrs. Claus. See ya even assembled some toys all by yourself,” he quirks an eyebrow. “Were you jus’ pretendin’ not to know how to do it all these years so I’d be stuck with all the hard labor?”
“Maybe.”
He pulls you back into him, tickling your sides. “My sneaky girl,” he bends down so his lips are level with your neck and sucks gently, causing you to let out a quiet moan. You see his eyes land on the tea kettle that was sitting forgotten on the coffee table. “Making a cuppa? Can I have one? ‘M freezin’.”
“I can think of something else we can do to get you warmed up,” you reach for his hands, interlocking his fingers with yours. “If you know what I’m gettin’ at.”
“Hmm…” Harry releases one of his hands from your grip and taps at his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Not too sure I can say I know what you’re sayin’. Maybe you should just tell me?”
You frown. “You’re really gonna make me say it, huh?”
“Y’know I’d give you the entire world if you asked me for it. All you gotta do is tell me what you want from me and it’s yours–– ‘m sure you’ve known that since the first day we met, though.” Harry takes a step back, crossing his arms across his chest. Even in his thick winter coat, you can see the way his biceps flex, and it makes you even more feral for him.
“Fine,” you say quietly, feeling yourself start to grow shy under his intense gaze. “I’m kinda... in the mood.” You say it so softly that it would most likely be inaudible to Harry if he wasn’t standing mere inches away from you. Harry throws his head back in laughter and you quickly shush him, not wanting any of your children to wake up.
“In the mood? C’mon, pet,” he uncrosses his arms and reaches for one of your hands. “Tha’s not tellin’ me what you want from me. Tell me exactly what you want, lovie.”
“You know what I want, H,” you tell him with a hint of annoyance in your voice. “It’s been a month. Yanno I want you to fuck me, why are you makin’ me say it?”
Harry gives you a shit-eating grin. “You jus’ said it. I didn’t make you say anything.”
You roll your eyes at his immaturity, already in the process of lifting your nightshirt (one of his old t-shirts that’s become just a little too tight on him) over your head. “Are we gonna get to it or not? Because if not, I’ll just go back to makin’ myself some tea and call it a night––”
Harry takes half a step towards you and reaches up to cup your face, colliding his lips with yours. His lips are a little chapped and taste of his favorite rose lip balm. You feel your body relaxing into the kiss, knees going weak as he walks you back onto the couch.
“You’ve been eatin’ up all the sugar cookies, haven’t you? Can taste it on ya. Thought those were for Santa,” he’s pulled away from you to examine your face. “A bit naughty of you, wouldn’t ya say?”
“Please stop referring to yourself as Santa when we’re about to have sex, Harry.”
“You’re not bein’ very kind to the person that’s about to go down on you, are you?” He sucks harshly on the valley between your breasts, wanting to be sure a deep-colored bruise will appear on your skin later. “That’s okay. It is Christmas, after all. ‘M in a giving mood.”
“Stop talking and get to it then.”
Harry slides off the couch and onto his knees in between your legs, gently kissing your thighs. “Cute pair of undies–– s’like you knew I was comin’ home tonight.” Before you can respond Harry’s fingers are tugging at the waistband of your underwear, eager to get them off of you. He presses light kisses to your core, mumbling about how much he missed the smell of you and how sweet you tasted.
One hand is resting across your stomach while the other one is in between your folds, spreading you open. You try squeezing your thighs around his head, overwhelmed by the feeling of your husband’s lips around your clit after being away from him for so long, but he removes his hand from your stomach and pushes your thighs back apart.
“Feels so good,” you’re breathless, tangling your fingers in Harry’s hair as his hollowed cheeks begin to suck more roughly on your clit. “Missed you so much. Missed this–– us.”
Harry pauses momentarily to look up at you. “I know, angel. God, do I know.” He attaches his lips back on you, swirling his tongue around your clit as you choke back your moans. The hand that is holding you open moves down to toy at your slit as he wordlessly checks to see if you’re okay with his fingers being in you.
“Please,” you say softly, encouraging his next move. He spits on his index and pointer finger before slowly sliding both of them in you, immediately curling them up. “Oh, Harry. Fuckin’ love when you do tha’...”
“Know you do,” His response is curt, simple. He’s focused on the task at hand–– getting you off. He uses the hand that’s lying across your stomach to rub tight circles on your clit, sensing you’re nearing your orgasm from the way you’re starting to clench around him. “Such a good girl fo’ me, darlin’. Gonna make a mess on my fingers in a second, aren’t you?”
You nod as you try to control your breathing and the loudness of your moans. The last thing you wanted was for your daughter to come down to inspect the source of the noise. “Fuck, Harry.”
“Come on, darlin’,” he gently pinches your clit, causing your body to jolt at the sensation. “Gimme a good one. A lil’ welcome back gift for me, hmm?”
Your hips are bucking up to the rhythm of his fingers slipping in and out of you as your orgasm quickly approaches. “Har, I’m close…” it comes out sounding more like a warning than a statement. He moves the two fingers he has inside of you in a back and forth motion, coaxing your first orgasm out of you.
“Tha’s my girl,” he whispers, not stopping his movements even as your back arches as your first orgasm rolls over you like a giant wave. “Givin’ me a good one jus’ like I knew you would. Jus’ like you always do. M’ sweet girl.” As you’re starting to still, Harry pulls his fingers out of you and holds them up to your mouth, instructing you to suck them clean.
You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can properly lean in to steal a kiss from him and notice a rather sizable tent has formed in his pants. Harry gives you a sheepish grin as he palms himself, hissing from the feel of his palm against his cock.
“Want me to do somethin’ about that?” You scoot over on the couch and pat the spot next to you, signaling for your husband to sit beside you. He lifts himself from his seated position, stretching his legs out a bit before plopping down beside you.
“Are you offerin’ me a blowie?”
“I mean, yeah?”
“Can we skip that an’ you can jus’ ride me instead? Think I’d quite like that.”
“Oh you would, would ya?”
Harry nods and unzips his pants, taking himself out. He licks his hand and gives himself a few pumps. “Still on birth control, I’m assuming?”
You roll your eyes as you move to straddle him. “Only been gone for a month, Harry. Of course ‘m still on it, you goof.”
“Can never be too careful. I don’t think now’s a good time for another lil’ one, do you? Think we should at least celebrate Oliver’s first birthday before we try for another one.” His hands are on his hips as he lines you up over his cock, helping you slowly sink down. You missed the burn of him which was even more intense than it usually was considering it’s been a while since he’s taken you.
“I think you’re right,” you reply. You rest your head on his shoulder while you adjust to the size of him, needing to take a moment to yourself before attempting to move. After a short adjustment period you begin rolling your hips, grinding against him in a way that was also bringing pleasure to your clit, still swollen and sensitive from your last orgasm.
Harry’s eyes are fixated on the way your breasts bounce in front of him, the way your stomach slightly jiggles each time you crash back down onto him. His lips are caught in between his teeth; you’re hoping he doesn’t break any skin so you don’t have to hear him whine about how badly the bruise hurts him later.
“Ridin’ me like your life depends on it,” Harry mutters. “Fuckin’ love takin’ you like this, angel. So fuckin’ deep.”
You simply hum in agreement, brain far too foggy to form a coherent sentence. Harry notices your movements starting to become smaller, lazier, so he puts his hands on your hips and decides to take over. He’s thrusting up into you like you’ll up and run away from him if he doesn’t give it his all. He cups your face with one hand and gently guides you towards him, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your lips.
“Fuck, H,” your eyes are squeezed shut and your wrap your arms around his neck, feeling your second orgasm quickly approaching. “Rub my clit please, almost there.”
Harry’s fingers immediately come down to rub at your slick nub, not faltering his relentless pace in the slightest. “Clench around me again, lovie,” his voice is higher than usual, whiny, and you know your husband is just as close as you are. “Love when you do tha’, jus’ need you to do it one more time.”
You do as he wishes once more, knowing once he cums you’ll be directly behind him. Harry lets out a string of expletives as he releases inside of you, pulling you tightly against his chest as he rides out his orgasm. You continue riding him, not slowly down as you chase your own release next.
“Harry,” you’re in a trance-like state, chanting his name over and over as you bring yourself over the edge. “Harry, fuck!”
“That’s my good girl,” he says quietly, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder while you catch your breath. You feel him beginning to soften inside of you so you lift yourself off and lay back on the couch, legs still shaking. It’s quiet for a couple of minutes as the two of you reveal in the afterglow of your orgasms, Harry gently running his fingers along your leg.
“Round two in the shower?”
December 25th, 6:42 AM
“Mumma! Santa came and he left lots of toys–– Daddy?”
Harry lets out a dramatic “oof!” as Ally jumps onto him, pulling the covers back. Her eyes are wide and she giggles are Harry pulls her into one of his infamous bear hugs, placing kisses all over his face.
“Mornin’, love bug! What’re you doin’ up so early?”
“It’s Christmas, Daddy! Santa came!” she sits back on her feet, a confused look on her face. “Did Santa bring you on his sleigh last night after me ‘n Olly went to bed?”
“Y’know what? He told me to keep it a secret, but he did,” Allison gasps in response to his news as she processes it, placing a little hand over her mouth. Harry sits up and gets out of bed, scooping her up in the process. “How ‘bout we go make Mum a cuppa before we see what Santa got for you and Olly? Tha’ sound good? Let’s let them sleep for a while longer, hmm?”
As you hear them exit the room you take a second to reflect on how lucky you are to spend another Christmas with you beautiful family before drifting back off into a deep, albeit short, sleep.
#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#its not christmas til you come home#thanks for reading!
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Frozen Teardrop Volume 2 Afterword
The first half is very loosely translated (sorry my manga history knowledge isn’t 100% ^^; but I did try with what I could look up), so there may be some mistakes but the second half Sumisawa talks about some interesting points about the original GW anime as well as Heero and his voice actor, Hikaru Midorikawa.
This afterword is long so translation under the read more:
Afterword
Putting myself aside, I think the human imagination is truly amazing. Especially in the case of Japanese imagination, it is outstanding. First, the language and its writings may have reached a perfection through a Galapagosian evolution unlike any other culture.
Novels written in the style of matching words and sentences that began in the Meiji era, even in short sentences that could be said to be lacking in expression or complicated sentences that could be said to be redundant, people at the time surely imagined images and characters. I think that I was deeply moved by their emotions, and I think that it’s wonderful that this has been passed down through the generations in the current novel style.
After the war, Osamu Tezuka invented the grammar of manga, and it would have been impossible without the Japanese language to express the “movement” that appeals to the reader’s imagination with a still picture, which was revealed in a recent study.
In addition, the anime culture that followed (sorry but I will dare to write it because it is my main business) when expressing “pause (tempo and rhythm)” and “voice” in scripts etc… If it is not in Japanese writing, it is also impossible to make the person in charge of the storyboard for the next stage imagine the image. Actually, that part is the difference between the script of a live-action drama movie and an anime.
Even though it’s a light novel postscript, I might get scolded for what I am saying. However, despite the rules I have made a contract with my readers to rely on this great imagination (I would like to use the word “delusional thought” if allowed). I am aware that it is superfluous, but I am still writing here.
I don’t expect you to judge me, I just want you to feel it, and there is no doubt that this is a “floating feeling”, “tension” and “excitement” that can only be experienced now.
It’s ok to think that only the “conclusion” is important logically, but that would spoil the “imagination”, “dream”, “delusion”, “speculation” and “guessing” that the readers are currently enjoying. I don’t feel like they’re going to lose it. I am sure those that watched “Mobile Suit Gundam Wing” on TV in real time more than 15 years ago must have enjoyed it in this way.
At that time, I was aiming for a script that made hearts skip a beat, with no idea what would happen next. Now, I want to reproduce that feeling so I am writing a novel like this one. So, it might be interesting for the readers to read it with the feeling of a director or producer who decides what kind of image to make, or an actor who thinks about how to play this role.
For that reason, since there is still time, I hope that young people who did not know Gundam Wing and experience it in real time or who bought this book by mistake I would be grateful if you could pick up the “Gundam Ace” in which the continuation of this story is being serialized and send in along with your impressions in the questionnaire so you can refer to it and react actively.
It seems to be a luxury, but I will give priority to analog over digital. In other words, I would rather receive a postcard or letter than the internet. Thank you.
Well, as I promised in the liner notes of “G-Selection”, I will write the inside story of the voice actors of “Gundam W” here.
I think that the voice of Hikaru Midorikawa, who plays Heero Yuy, has a unique warmth to the coldness. And I think that that beautiful voice has intelligence and naivety that can be felt both poetically and literary. If you read the prologue in Volume 1, you will understand that the long composition where Heero uses the name of Duo without permission and recites endlessly is the one used at the end of episode 18 in the main adaption.
The dialogue, that was written by director Masashi Ikeda at the storyboard stage, and his sense of style is worth a thousand gold, and I think that style of writing and that context are the most suitable for expressing the world of “Gundam Wing”. I tried to make that style my own by copying it, digesting it and sublimating it in my own way. Thank you.
There is a famous story about Mr. Midorikawa at the time. In the 11th episode of the main story, Mr. Midorikawa made a title call, “Whereabouts of Happiness”. However, Heero does not appear in the main story. After all, in the previous story, Heero pressed the self-destruct switch.
Because he was there at the script stage, He was groaning “Uh, uh…uh..uh...”, but that scene was cut due to the scale. Even so, Mr. Midorikawa was there until the end of the dubbing. He is a nice person, but there is no such disrespect to the actors. I’m really sorry.
Nevertheless, in fact, I had made a similar mistake to Mr. Midorikawa in another work. In 1992, in a program called “Dragon Ball Z”, Mr. Midorikawa played the role of “Android 16”. Originally it was a taciturn role, but I wrote “No. 16” in the character column of my script, and it was written as it was in the dubbing script.
In the end, Mr. Midorikawa didn’t say a word, and I don’t think his name appeared in the ending telop. I can’t help but be labelled an incompetent if I make this mistake twice (!). Still, Mr. Midorikawa remembered me.
In 1997, in a program called “Slayers Try” (I was a lazy scriptwriter who wrote only one episode, but the direction and storyboards were directed by Mr. Seiji Mizushima, who later became the director of “Mobile Suit Gundam 00”. It turned out to be an interesting event), I met Mr. Midorikawa again at the party, and he kindly talked to me, and I had a great time. Really nice person.
I have a very long relationship with Toshihiko Seki, who plays the role of Duo.
In 1988 Mr. Kazuho Aki released the original operation MM series “Shiroma no Wakusei”, which was released in the cassette version of Asahi Sonorama Bunko. It was me, a newcomer, who wrote the script for the drama. Although it’s hardly recorded in official records.
I’ve worked with Ranma ½, Hao Ryuu Knight, Saiyuki, Naruto, Inuyasha, and many other works, and just the other day, I finally handed over the unopened cassette. I was able to do it. Mr. Seki, who was happy to receive it even though it was late, is a really, really nice person.
It may be useless to explain what you can’t obtain, but this cassette has names similar to “Gundam Wing” such as “Operation MM” and “Battleship Chang Fei”.
Ah, I had more to write. I’m sorry, but I’ll continue it next time.
Katsuyuki Sumisawa.
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Fighting Fire With Fire (Reid Fic)
Summary: Reader must lower her pride after a date goes wrong and the only one who can rescue her is her mortal enemy - Spencer Reid.
A/N: This was a beast of a fic to write. It’s been in my WIP since September, and I managed to go from 11 pages to 22 pages in three days. It is now my longest fic thus far. I am insanely fucking proud of it and I hope it does well. Category: Angst Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: allusions to ‘catfishing,’ allusions to abduction, dub-con to taking provocative photos, alcohol, mentions of bruises, jealousy, carrying hug which implies weight of Reader (lmk if I missed anything) Word Count: 11.7k
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
I tried to play nice; I really did, but there was no getting through to him. Everyday started and ended with us fighting fire with fire.
Maybe the reason the two of you butt heads so often is because of how similar you are.
That’s what the team would say when Spencer and I got into one of our daily (sometimes hourly) arguments.
They constantly encouraged us to get to know each other so that we’d finally see the likeness, and until recently, I wasn’t opposed to the idea. I was willing to do whatever it took to get him to like me. However, as previously mentioned, my willingness quickly dissipated in light of recent events.
Voluntarily spending more time than necessary with him would be a recipe for disaster no doubt.
Somehow, in a matter of a month, Reid decided that he simply did not enjoy my presence, which was the nice way of putting it.
To be more crass, he loathed me to no end.
Initially, I was operating under the assumption that he wasn’t fond of change, and with me joining the BAU, the change was too much too fast for him, but after four weeks, his attitude toward me never deviated. Yet again, I made another excuse for him, arguing to myself that people are allowed to not like me. I could respect that, but where he lost my respect was how he made a conscious effort to remind me of how much he despised me. Even when I was at my nicest, he still treated me like a scelerate.
If there was a prize for gaining a mortal enemy in the shortest amount of time, I guess I already won that without even trying. He hated me with a burning passion, for reasons unbeknownst to me, despite the fact that all I’d ever try to do was be his friend.
For far too long, I kept denying the part of me that knew making peace with him outside of work wouldn’t go well and it’d simply go down in history as another failed attempt of mine to form a bond with him, so it was at this point that I decided to face the facts.
He didn’t make it easy for me, either. It was hard having to be kind to someone that was only ever out to get me.
He would constantly correct me but only after I said something incorrectly, just so he could prove me wrong.
“If each police officer patrols a street, we’ll be able to cover the entire comfort zone.”
“Actually, we’d need three more officers if we want to cover the entire comfort zone. There’s still 2.347 miles that are unaccounted for.”
I never understood why he couldn’t just say his piece before me so that I didn’t look like an idiot, but I suppose that was the point.
And he had this infuriating, unwarranted habit of judging my taste in cinema and literature. Anytime I told Emily or Derek about a movie I saw or told Rossi about a book I read, he felt compelled to share his antagonistic opinions as if I asked for them in the first place. Sometimes even spoiling the endings for me!
“Rossi, I just started reading Doctor Sleep!” I was so eager to tell Rossi that, so much so that I’d become blind to one dark cloud’s own eagerness to ruin the fun.
“The hotel burns to the ground, but the ghosts don’t die with it.”
He said it with such monotony and nonchalance, not even bothering to look up from his own book to watch my reaction to his menacing act. He just didn’t care!
The list of reasons not to like him truly did go on and on, so it was almost insulting how people would compare the two of us.
They’d bring up the congruence in intelligence, the same affinity for reading, and closeness in age, but it only made me madder. The last person I wanted to resemble was Reid, except today, I gained another glaring similarity to him.
“Look at you two. Did you plan your outfits or something?” Emily playfully pointed out after I walked into the conference room.
I eyed the doctor sipping at his cup of coffee who swiveled around in his chair to see what everyone else was seeing. Just from a short glance, I spotted his navy blue button-up with white polka dots that was nearly identical to the color and print of my dress.
“Well, looks like one of us has to go home and change.” His lips grew into a mischievous smirk behind the rim of his mug.
Was that a joke? Did Spencer Reid make jokes now?
“Ha ha. Very funny.” I facetiously remarked, taking the only open seat at the table which was next to the jokester himself.
“I’m kidding. You look really nice today.” He alleged without a hint of irony. He was complimenting me now, too? It was so unfamiliar that it felt like uncharted territory, possibly even a trap.
“Why? Because I’m dressed like you?” I wasn’t going to fall for his words now, maybe the version of me who would do anything to gain his approval would have. She would’ve smiled and said ‘thank you,’ but this me was going to challenge him if that was the last thing I ever did. “Bit of a narcissist are we, Dr. Reid?”
“Mmm maybe,” He wagered, tilting his head from side to side as if to contemplate the possibility. “Or maybe I just really think you look nice.”
Without even thinking, my heart skipped a beat. I was utterly repulsed by how I let his words have any effect over me. I couldn’t believe that he’d actually managed to fluster me with mediocre flattery.
It felt like years that I had to sit next to Reid at the round table before Hotch dismissed the team for the flight.
30 minutes later, and we were on the jet. I’d taken one of the seats at the table opposite Derek and Emily, with Spencer beside me.
Little things like this I could handle, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before he started bothering me. Morgan was listening to music and Emily was turned around in her seat, facing the back to talk to Rossi. Reid was playing himself in chess, and it took all of my self-control to not be a total asshole and knock the board and its pieces over and into the aisle. Luckily, I had a good enough distraction.
Grant: can you ft tonight?
Me: we’ll see. i might have to work overtime.
For the months that I had been talking to Grant, I was deliberately ambiguous about my job because I wasn’t exactly keen on telling him that I worked for the FBI and that I might not be able to FaceTime him since I was in the process of investigating a series of homicides. That’d surely scare him away and I was never one to flaunt my government job anyway.
Grant: you look stunning today
Me: you haven’t even seen me today
Grant: don’t need to.
Grant: you’ll always be stunning to me.
“Who keeps texting you?”
I looked up from my screen to see Reid fixated on his game but still engaged in my business.
“No one,” I harshly replied, making a conscious decision to turn my phone on vibrate so he wouldn’t hear the chime of my text notifications.
With one nimble side glance, Reid eyed my screen. I nudged him away with extra force.
“Nosy much?!”
This stunned him. He wasn’t used to my coldness, he probably expected me to smile in a chagrined manner and not confront it - as I would have done - but now I was fighting back, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he liked it.
I knew he could read fast, but how he managed to look at my phone so quickly it was like he never even moved his eyes - I didn’t know. Somehow, though, he managed to capture Grant’s entire username, and I didn’t doubt that he caught my entire conversation with him, too.
“Who’s Grant?” The name rolled off his tongue like he was insulted to even be saying it.
“No one.”
He didn’t respond soon after I said this, which I misinterpreted as a little victory for me since I almost believed he was going to drop the subject, but in true Spencer Know It All Reid fashion, he just kept going.
“‘You look stunning today B-T-W. You haven’t even seen me today. Don’t need to. You’ll always be stunning to me.’ Doesn’t really sound like a ‘no one’ to me.” His recitation of my entire PRIVATE conversation with Grant embarrassed me.
Did I forget to add his eidetic memory and speed-reading ability to the list of reasons not to like him?
“Shut up!” I nudged him, this time using much more force than the last. I was becoming more and more inclined to push over his ridiculous chess game so that he’d finally take me seriously.
“Oh, really clever by the way. Vaguely insinuating that you ‘might not be able to call him because you’re working overtime’ just so you don’t have to disclose the true nature of your job.” Spencer’s sarcasm was thick.
“Are you just jealous because the only date you’ve been on was a fake one with a serial killer and not even your actual girlfriend while she was alive?” My reference to Cat and Maeve caught the attention of the entire jet.
Each member mentally rolled their eyes thinking ‘Here we go again.’ And if that wasn’t their reaction, they were certainly cringing at the fight that was ensuing.
Things had been suspiciously good between the two of us today so it was about time we argued. We were due for our daily quarrel.
“Oh, that’s right! The only girls who like you are victims in our cases.” Now this comment was referring to Lila and Austin. (I had Penelope to thank for filling me in on all of Reid’s ‘entanglements’ after I was first reassigned).
“Really? You wanna go there?” He sassed back, diverting his attention away fully from his chess game now. “Do you know how many people get ‘catfished’ when using online dating websites? Or the statistics on how many people are raped, assaulted, or murdered by said ‘catfish’?”
“I’m not stupid, Reid. He and I have been talking for months. We’ve been on calls and Facetime before, too. We’ve just never met in person. Sound familiar?”
“What Maeve and I had is not at all comparable to what you and this ‘guy’ have. And just because you’ve seen his face before doesn’t mean he’s not a serial killer or operating under an alias.”
I had to scoff. Who was he to label our relationship valid or not?
“What’s it to you anyway? We all know you’d be ecstatic if this guy turned out to be a serial killer or catfish. You’d get to rub it in my face and say ‘I told you so.’”
This touched a nerve. He hated it when I attacked his nice-guy facade.
“Is it so hard to believe I’m actually concerned for your wellbeing?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Fine. If you think I don’t care about you, then don’t come crying to me when you realize he’s not the guy you think he is.”
“Oh, trust me, I won’t! It’s not like you’d be able to protect me anyway, Pretty Boy.” I sneered, using Morgan’s nickname for him as an insult got to him, and I could see it in the way his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.
Hotch had to interject now. “Alright, (y/l/n), Reid, that’s enough. We need to focus on what’s actually important.”
I settled back down in my seat, facing forward and avoiding eye contact with Reid.
“Have fun on your date,” He muttered under his breath. “Hope you survive it.”
Bastard.
For the rest of the case, I was on edge. Deliberately avoiding him was a much harder task than one might think. I had to wait at least ten minutes for my coffee, so I wouldn’t be at the machine when he was there, and if I had to guess, he probably took longer just to make me wait in agitation. I had to awkwardly squeeze into a new spot beside Rossi and Hotch when we were delivering the profile. I had to ask not to travel in the same SUV as him.
And this exhausting routine went on for days. In fact, I’d managed to almost go the entire case without interacting with him. That was until Hotch sent us both in the field to apprehend the unsub.
“Are you sure?” I asked with clear reluctance.
“Are you questioning me?” Hotch replied sternly.
“No, sir.”
I was already on thin ice being the new recruit, so I knew better than to question any of Hotch’s orders. And as miserable as working with Reid was, I figured he’d at least ease up on the hostility when we needed to be professional. Evidently though, even in the field, he wasn’t willing to work together with me.
It was a quick decision, not careless in the least, however. The unsub had locked himself in his warehouse and refused to leave unless we were brave enough to drag him out of there ourselves. The ultimatum he gave specified that only one of us could do it and we both agreed that I should go in, seeing as he’d underestimate my strength as a woman, and I’d have the upperhand when I inevitably apprehended him.
However, he also explicitly told us that I couldn’t come in with a gun - it had to be an even playing field.
“You are not going in without a gun,” Reid ordered.
“We don’t have time to argue about this - I have a spare on me, okay? There are three hostages in there, two of which are children.” Without giving him a chance to respond, I handed him my gun and holster.
Had I let him waste a single second more of my time, we wouldn’t have been able to save the three hostages and successfully arrest the unsub. I saw this as a victory and I was almost willing to celebrate it with him, but it wasn’t long before he let our enmity tear us apart again.
When we got back to the precinct, I went to the locker room to change, then suddenly, Hotch came in.
“I’ve been informed that you went in unarmed against a fellow agent’s orders. This matter will be discussed in my office when we get back. I should warn you, (y/n), you do not want to make this mistake again.” Hotch left me with those foreboding words, and I knew, I knew immediately that Reid was to blame for this.
If I took a look in the mirror of my locker, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I saw that my face was turning a bright shade of red. I was fuming - bursting at the seams from the anger building within me that was desperately fighting to escape. I could imagine myself as a cartoon character with steam blowing out either of my ears. I was about to go on a rampage, and no one - absolutely no one - could stop me.
The last straw was hearing him come in. This was my opportunity to unleash what was already boiling.
“What the hell, Reid? ‘(y/n) went in unarmed.’ Seriously?!” I undid the velcro on my vest so hastily out of my blind rage that the spiky side of the velcro strip nearly sliced my finger. “Are you trying to get me fired?”
“If that’s what it takes to make you realize how stupid of a choice that was, then yes, I do.” He was so calm and collected in his inflection that it angered me all the more.
“What are you even talking about? What ‘stupid choice’? You knew I had a second gun on me. And even if I didn’t carry it, I still would’ve had my vest on. I wasn’t going in unarmed or unprotected, so why would you tell Hotch that?”
“In the time it would take you to assess the danger, react, and then reach for the gun at your ankle, the unsub would’ve been able to shoot you twice - if not more. That’s going in unprepared, which is going in unarmed.”
I scoffed in disbelief that he was actually reprimanding me. “Are you kidding? This is all based on a technicality? Did your eidetic memory somehow forget about what happened with Maeve? Because my memory didn’t. I know for a fact that you went into that warehouse without a vest or a weapon. And unlike you, I had a spare and my vest. AND I actually apprehended the unsub. Did you stop Diane?”
This crossed a line and I knew it, but it was too late to take it back, and clearly, it was much too late to repair any relationship I had with him. We were far beyond the point of no return.
He was so mad that he didn’t even answer me. The only response I could gauge was from his body language, which by the looks of it, all the signs of anger were plain on his face. He clenched his jaw so hard I could hear his teeth grind. Even his nostrils flared so primitively. His eyes narrowed down at me with a glare that said, ‘I’m the predator and you’re the prey.’
“Yeah, exactly.” I spat when he stayed silent.
I turned around, starting towards the exit, but I was too furious to stop there, so I spun around and unleashed the remainder of my wrath that had been dying to come out.
“Look, I get it. I’m the new kid around here, and it sucks when someone new comes in and changes up the team dynamic, but any mistake I make, or any mistake Hotch thinks I make, could send me packing. You’ve been working in this unit for years, and even if Hotch questions your choices, he won’t reassign you. He won’t even threaten it. He’s willing to overlook your mistakes because he knows that what you have to contribute to the team is too vital to let go, but I haven’t even had my chance to show him what I have to offer. So when I do make a mistake, there is nothing for me to fall back on, nothing to redeem me, and no safety net, but you? You have years of experience on your back to break your fall. So don’t you dare act like you’re doing me a favor by reporting my ‘mistake’ to Hotch. You might be costing me my dream job, and if you think that makes us friends - think again.”
I stormed out of the locker room seeing red.
This war was far from over.
_ _ _
“You’re clenching your fists again,” Emily said under her breath. I was grateful that she said it in a hushed tone, otherwise she might’ve revealed my lingering anger to the whole jet, which wouldn’t have been good.
I immediately unclenched them, opening up my hands to reveal small, dark C shaped imprints on my palms from where my nails had dug into them.
I should’ve expected that she would’ve learned at least one of my tells by now. I did have many after all. Cheek biting, fist-clenching, leg bouncing.
“Something bothering you?” She probed quietly.
She set her book down to give her undivided attention to this conversation. That was enough to tell me that an excuse like, ‘Nothing, I’m fine,’ would not suffice. She wouldn’t be satisfied until I told her the truth, which I surely did not want to tell. So I settled for a half-truth.
“Hotch wants to talk when we get back.”
From my peripherals, I saw her knit her brows together in confusion. “Is . . . is that it?”
“Mhm.” I lied.
“But that’s not enough to warrant the fist clenching. Cheek biting - sure - you do it when you’re anxious, but not fist-clenching. You only do that when you’re angry about something.”
“Oh, so you have figured out all my tells,” I smirked.
“Pfft, I figured them all out the first week you got here, but I won’t tell you the rest, otherwise you might try and hide them from me,” She joked.
I shook my head playfully. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just worked up about something - it’s nothing you need to worry about though.” Habitually, my eyes looked right up in his direction. I caught a glimpse of him sprawled against the couch, sleeping. He was lucky I wasn’t ranting about the little stunt he pulled earlier to Emily. He should be thankful that I was even trying to protect his reputation to her at all.
“I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but it does help. Take it from me, someone who really only trusts myself, you shouldn’t hide what you feel.”
What you feel.
I clung onto those words.
What was I really feeling?
Was I upset that instead of receiving praise for the arrest I made, I was scolded like a child? Was I angry that Hotch believed what Reid had to say about my “problematic behavior” instead of believing in me?
Or did I feel betrayed that despite my best efforts to build a bridge, Reid was tearing it apart brick by brick? Burning it to pieces with the fire of his rage?
“Thanks.” I bleakly said to Emily. I would’ve told her the truth, but it didn’t feel necessary at that moment. If anything, it just would’ve reflected badly on me.
Truthfully, she was the closest thing I had to a friend in the BAU, and if I wanted a permanent spot here, I needed to make more of them - and fast.
“Hey, (y/n), we’re all going down to O’Keefs tonight to celebrate. You wanna join us?” Morgan asked, walking up the aisle and crouching down beside my seat to talk to me.
“Oh, I wish I could, but I have to talk with Hotch when we get back,” I explained, smiling politely.
“We can postpone the meeting till first thing Monday morning. I need to go home and be with Jack, anyway,” Hotch added.
I didn’t realize he could hear me from where he was sitting, which made me all the more nervous that he might’ve overheard the entire conversation between me and Emily earlier.
“Looks like I’m free,” I looked back at Morgan. “Does the offer still stand?”
“Anything for you, sweet cheeks.” He winked.
Judging from the lightness of the atmosphere, everyone, except maybe Hotch and Rossi, would be celebrating at O’Keefs - including Spencer.
I think I might’ve actually preferred to be scolded by Hotch tonight, instead of being silently glared at by Spencer, but it was already too late to revoke my confirmation of presence.
Because, if Hotch could hear me from where he was sitting, then Spencer could, too.
He already heard I was coming, and there was no way I was backing down.
_ _ _
In spite of the fact that I could barely hear myself think over the loud chatter and blasting music, I could still feel the rage radiating off of Spencer. You would think with how long his nap was on the jet, he wouldn’t be so cranky, but I guess he just couldn’t sleep off his disdain for me after our minor altercation.
I wondered if the team could see it, too. The way he was burning a hole into me with his fiery stare. The tension was palpable, as it has always been, but remember - I’m not the one who wanted it that way.
He started this. I was only making the feeling mutual.
“So what about you, (y/n)? Are you seeing anyone?”
I tried to hide my growing smirk behind the rim of my beer, but I knew I couldn’t hide much from them. Of course, right across from me, Spencer was glaring at me expectantly, waiting for the answer he already knew.
“Oooh, look at her - she’s blushing! Spill.” Penelope ordered, beating her palm on the table so enthusiastically it shook all the drinks on it.
“Well, there’s this one guy I’ve been seeing for a while,” The second I started speaking, I noticed Spencer rolling his eyes. I figured his apprehension was the only response of its kind that I would receive, but I was very mistaken.
“How did you two meet?” Penelope giddily asked, nearly jumping up and down in her seat.
“A dating app, actually.”
The table went completely silent, and I immediately felt my stomach drop. It was as if I’d just said something very wrong. With just a quick glance in front of me, Spencer was basking in this.
What a dick.
Emily hesitated to ask. “...Have you two met in person before?”
Now it was my turn to hesitate to speak. “No, not yet.”
I took another sip of my drink even though I wasn’t thirsty. I just wanted to hide any part of my face I could to shield myself from the five sets of eyes burning holes into me now, rather than just the one. Trying to make matters better, I spoke all too quickly, nearly sputtering on my beer. “I’m completely safe, though. Nothing sketchy’s going on, I promise.”
“Of course,” JJ agreed. “We totally trust you,” neglecting to attach the cliche, ‘It’s him we don’t trust.’ But if she had, it would’ve spoken everyone’s bubble thoughts right about now.
“Just be careful, mama.” Derek’s response felt the most sincere, and I honestly believed he was happy for me, but it didn’t change how much their judgement initially stung.
For the rest of the night, I didn’t talk. No one noticed.
Except maybe the last person I wanted to notice.
I quietly slipped away somewhere in the night when the conversation was at its highest precisely so they wouldn’t question where I was going or if I was okay. If they had asked, the truthful answer to the former would’ve been ‘just outside to get some air’ and the latter ‘no.’
The cool breeze drifted through the door like rising fog and for the briefest moment in time, I felt suspended in the space around me - I’d finally caught my breath. That feeling wouldn’t last long, though.
I’d intentionally gone outside to compose myself until I came back a person who wasn’t on the verge of tears, but apparently, trying to pull myself only resulted in my falling apart. A ball of yarn unraveling is the closest comparison I can draw to what I must’ve looked like, crying quietly on the street.
“I figured I’d find you here.”
It was the mere sound of someone’s voice that shocked me, but it was the person whose voice it was that led to the frustration that followed.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be inside talking to the team of people who also agree with you about Grant?”
He was too much of a nuisance to warrant exchanging eye contact with so I simply stared forward as I spoke and wiped the tears away that were still pooling on my lower lash line. I hoped he hadn’t actually seen me crying, but from what I could tell, he was probably standing there long before he said something. And if he was truly looking at me as deeply as it felt like right now, then he’d have noticed my bloodshot eyes, flushed cheeks, and unending sniffling.
“Is that why you disappeared back there? Because you’re upset they didn’t exactly like the idea of your relationship?” The pain in the ass really tried, he really tried to get me to look at him by facing me and making these gestures with his hands that should’ve gotten my attention, but instead, I stayed put leaning against the wall, keeping my line of sight straight ahead.
“(Y/n), they weren’t insulting you or judging you -”
“Then why did it feel like it?” For the first time since he’d joined me, I’d looked at him. I didn’t even mean to and I had every intention of denying him that privilege for the entire duration of our conversation, but as soon as I asked him my question, we locked eyes, and I saw it written all over his face.
He felt sorry for me.
Now, he could clearly make out how distraught I was from this unobstructed view of my face that was kindled by the dim, flickering yellow glow of the streetlight beside us. And he kept staring, looking into my eyes to read me just as easily and just as quickly as he read a book.
“All we want is for you to be safe,” His voice crackled momentarily, and it actually touched some part of me for how genuine it sounded. “We weren’t trying to judge you or to insult you, and I’m sorry if it felt that way, but if we want your safety, and you tell us about something that could be potentially harmful, then of course we’re going to be apprehensive about it. That’s how people that care about you should react.”
“So are you saying that I don’t care about myself because I’m engaging in something risky?” Isn’t that the most ironic statement of this year? The definition of our job was risky, and even if this wasn’t the safest relationship on the planet, it was nothing like what we put ourselves through everyday being in the field.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying -”
“So what are you saying?” I dared. He shook his head and sighed like he was about to give up, but I needed an answer. “No, please, do continue. Finish what you were gonna say. Since you apparently know everything, 187. Please go ahead - tell me what you think I should do.”
Tell me what you really came out here to say, I ordered him with my eyes.
“I think I respect you more than you respect yourself, and that’s really saying something. Because if you actually liked yourself as much as I do, then you would realize that subjecting yourself to this nonsensicality of a long-distance relationship is not only dangerous - but insulting to your worth, too. You deserve more than that, (y/n).” He couldn’t have been clearer when he murmured a low and firm, “Much more.”
The world was spinning on its axis too fast for me to process anything he said before snapping back at him. “So what exactly is it you want me to do?”
With utmost clarity in both annunciation and intention, he told me, “Break up with him.”
Not a shadow of a doubt in his words.
Then, like the phantom of the opera himself, he vanished back into the bar, but even if he had stayed, I wouldn’t have had anything to say to him. I was simply rendered speechless.
Circling back to my previous argument, I questioned once more why was it any of his business anyway? I was allowed to do as I pleased and I most certainly did not have to listen to him. And I didn’t.
But I should’ve.
_ _ _
My Monday morning meeting with Hotch wasn’t nearly as fire and brimstone as I thought it would be. It did however feel like the equivalent to an “I’m disappointed in you” parent speech. In some ways, I related to the average teen who was grounded. Except instead of my phone being taken away, it was my freedom. From now on, I could only follow executive orders that had been given to me. At least for the time being.
It was clear that, deep down, some part of Hotch knew what I’d done was the right call, but he couldn’t give me any favors. Not until they were deserved on my end.
Walking onto the jet after our meeting, however, felt more juvenile than the punishment itself. I was a kid again, re-entering my classroom after using the restroom, only to have all eyes on me as I came through the door.
As per usual, the only empty chair was next to Reid. There’d been too many instances of this happening to think it was just a coincidence. At this point, I had to assume it was by design. Whose design however? That I didn’t know.
“Hello, trouble,” He sang when I took my seat.
I could only assume that this new nickname was based on what took place in Hotch’s office - thanks to him, need I remind you - but I didn’t care to know the origin because that would require talking to him, and for several reasons, that was the last thing I wanted to do. The first of which was what happened less than three days ago. An event we both hadn’t mentioned yet, and I hoped we never would.
I took every preventative measure in the book. I changed seats with JJ. I moved to the couch. I even started reading in the little hallway between the kitchenette and bathroom of the jet to avoid sitting beside him, but against all my best efforts, he always found a way to bug me. When there’s a will, there’s a way. After exhausting any real reason he had to talk to me, he had to get creative.
“You’ve been on that same page for four minutes and twenty-seven seconds.” I heard him say when he walked up to the kitchen to reach for the pot of coffee. Almost expecting I’d ask him what he meant, he added the explanation casually. “It never takes you more than three minutes and twelve seconds to move onto the next page. So either you’re not understanding the material or you’re not actually reading.”
It was utterly hilarious of him to imply that either of those things were definitely the answer. “What if I’m just taking my time reading this page, genius? Ever thought of that?”
His eyes turned into slits as he leaned in closer to examine me. “You’re blinking rate just increased, too.”
“Stop!” I screeched childishly, pushing him away by his shoulders in an attempt to get him off my back, but he was far from off my back. No, he was right against it. More specifically, his hand was on the small of it.
Leaning in so close that his lips were practically pressing on the shell of my ear, he whispered, “Come find me when you’re ready to tell me the truth.”
He didn’t need to know his words or actions had any sort of effect on me, so I kept the most stoic facial expression on, and I didn’t say a single thing back. He turned back around to leave with the hand on my back being the last thing to go. His lingering touch caused a shiver to run down my spine while paradoxically burning my body from the friction.
I was disgusted with myself for having let him elicit any sort of reaction from me, even if he wasn’t aware of it.
“Yeah ... well, d-don’t expect that to be anytime soon,” was my poor attempt at a retort to shut him up.
“Whatever you say, trouble.”
_ _ _
Personal space can be a wonderful thing. Much less so when it’s invaded, however.
After what felt like the longest flight ever, all I wanted was to take a shower and go to bed. My wishes were granted when I was able to wash off the stress and exhaustion and slip into a blush pink satin pajama set Grant sent me that I’d been meaning to wear. The plunging neck of the tank top was lined with lace and adorned with the tiniest little bow at the center. To match the shirt, the hem of the shorts were lined with lace that trailed up the small triangular slits on the side of the shorts, where at the vertex of them was the same little bow detail. For such a pure and innocent color as baby pink, you’d think it’d be somewhat less revealing. The longer I started at myself in the mirror while wearing it, the more aware I’d become of the intentions behind why Grant had sent it.
How cute, I thought, rolling my eyes.
Gifts should always be appreciated, if for no other reason than the effort put into it, but this just felt slimy. There was obviously no valiant romantic intent behind the negligee, which spoiled the delight of receiving something out of the blue from him. What’s worse was that I wasn’t even sure how to thank him for something like this.
Me: thank you for the pajamas. they’re so cute!
Lying was easier over text message, in case you were wondering what the perks of a long distance relationship were.
Grant: good, I’m glad you like them. are you wearing them right now?
But sometimes, when you should lie, you don’t. And you regret it later on - take it from me.
Me: yeah, they’re super comfy
Grant: great! i wanna see them on! take a pic
As if to compensate for the indisputable hatred I had for this lingerie and what it stood for in our relationship, I did the only thing I could think that would make him think I really liked them. That I felt good in them.
I took pictures - not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill, Yelp review pictures, though - provocative ones.
In the same breath I went to take them, though, Spencer’s words rang through my head.
You deserve more than that. Much more.
Shaking off the thought of Spencer, I decided against what the little voice in my head that sounded too similar to his would’ve said.
To add to the illusion, I situated myself within the hotel sheets and used the front camera to capture my chest that was very much on display in this top. In the middle of rolling around the bed, trying to find the angles that wouldn’t show my face of dejection, the door opened.
Instantaneously, I clawed at the sheets until they wrapped around me like a towel. I was ashamed to admit they provided more coverage than these ‘pajamas’ did.
My shriek of shock must’ve sounded familiar to the stranger intruding on me because no sooner did I scream than they questioned, “(Y/n)? What are you doing here?”
Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
“Spencer, what the hell are you doing in here?” I grumbled, struggling to maintain a tight enough grip on the sheets that would keep them from falling and unveiling a sight I desperately did not want him to see.
“I asked you first.”
Boy, if you only knew how badly I wanted to slap that smirk right off his face. “This is my hotel room obviously. Your turn.”
Returning just the same tone, inflection, and vocals, he imitated me. “This is my hotel room obviously.” Like one of those magic tricks he’d show Henry or Jack, he miraculously flashed a room key between his index and middle finger that wasn’t there before.
“No, that’s impossible.”
“I opened the door, didn’t I?” That damn smirk was still there when he asked this. Maybe, just maybe, if it hadn’t been so condescending, I would’ve thought his sarcasm was ... attractive. Disgusting, I know.
“Well, if you actually plan on staying here, then you’re sleeping on the floor or the couch, got it?”
My question went unanswered until I turned around to follow where he’d traveled in the time that I spent pondering how this happened. Now perched at the window, sitting on the arm of the chair in a way that chairs weren’t meant to be sat on, he continued to stare silently at me.
“What? What is it?” I urged.
“What’s going on with the …” He made a side to side sweeping motion with his key card. “Bed sheets?”
Consciously, I shimmied the fabric further up my body. Seeing as there was virtually no way to escape an honest answer, I confessed. “If you must know ... I’m wearing p-pajamas.” My own body was rejecting the shameful admission causing the word to stumble out of my mouth.
He didn’t need to know any more than that to gather what kind of garments they were. He already figured it out.
“Did Grant give them to you?”
I almost rolled my eyes at the implication. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I know you,” He punctuated every word perfectly. “And I know that you wear big shirts and sweatpants to bed because you don’t see the point of spending money on clothes that are only made for you to sleep in - especially if they’re clothes that make you uncomfortable like these ones clearly do.”
Although, I greatly despised the fact that there was even a little bit of a chance that I might’ve agreed with him, I still defended Grant. “It was a thoughtful gesture.”
“Thoughtful, right,” He scoffed. “And which head was he thinking with?”
I was baffled he had the gall to say such an innuendo. “Spencer!”
How dare he? So what if Grant bought me something provocative because he was physically attracted to me? At least someone was.
Despite the ferocity plain on his face, he chose not to pursue this conversation. Visibly biting back on words he knew would hurt me, Spencer managed to sound remarkably genuine when he promised me, “I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”
I want you to, was my very first thought. Oh, God, that’s so fucked up, was my second.
He underlined his sincerity by turning fully around until he was facing the window. “But we should probably put the sheets back on the bed if you plan on sleeping on it.”
He was so patient as he waited for me to remove the cloth from my body. It almost made me feel guilty. He didn’t grumble or gripe, nor did he pressure me to do it at all. So by rights, there should’ve been no reason for me to take so long to let the barrier fall - he wasn’t looking at me. But I was just so goddamn embarrassed.
This wasn’t me, and even he knew that.
“You can turn around now,” I mumbled quietly once my safety net of a bedsheet had abandoned me. My arms were crossed over my chest and my thighs were pressed so tightly against each other as if to limit the surface area that Spencer could scrutinize.
That never came.
He did look, I could tell that much. But it wasn’t a look I’d ever seen before. It wasn’t rage or annoyance or pity. It was a look of lust.
A look that made me positively weak in the knees. A look far more sensual than even my racy garments.
“I’ll just sleep in Morgan’s room tonight, okay?” He offered once he finally broke out of his incapacitation. Grabbing the two opposite corners of the sheets that I was holding, it was a team effort as we arranged the covers where they belonged. It was probably the longest period of time we’d ever worked together without fighting or talking at all for that matter..
Not a single word was exchanged between us while Spencer gathered his things to leave for Derek’s. The room started to feel dangerously empty in the stillness.
When he slipped past me to make his way out, I caught his upper arm, successfully pulling him back around.
I could’ve been sweet, I should’ve. But that wasn’t our thing. So I settled for what came naturally to us and what would set off the least amount of red flags - I didn’t play nice. “As long as you promise not to hog the entire bed with your behemoth body, we can sleep together -” Catching the words as soon as they came out and what they could’ve implied, I began backtracking. “Sleep in the same bed. Sleep as in rest. Not sleep as in … anything else.”
Then, in one of those rare moments- he laughed. He actually laughed. Like a real, hearty, sudden laugh. “I know what you meant, (y/n).”
I’ll never forget the smile that followed the world’s greatest laugh either.
Oh, God, I’m so fucked up.
_ _ _
Spencer’s POV
Domesticated animals are smarter than we give them credit for. Studies have shown that pets can actually sense time; They know when it’s time for their owner to leave for the day and when they’ll be coming home, too.
Animals aren’t dumb - and neither was I.
Like a dog sniffing out their owner’s imminent absence in the home, I could tell (y/n) was leaving the hotel room for the night. If her current state wasn’t convincing enough, then her behavior throughout the entire day supported that theory just as well.
Whether it was her phone, the clock on the wall, or her watch, she was evidently keeping a close eye on the time. She did it so often, though, that you would think she would just use simple deductions to figure out what time it was by estimating the time it was when she last checked, but nope. She rarely let more than a minute go by without monitoring the clock.
My suspicions didn’t end there. What’s more suggestive was the anxious fidgeting. She had her tells of anxiety - everyone does - but this was a level of stress I’d never seen her exhibit before, not even in the field.
She kept cracking her knuckles, even when she’d exhausting all the popping noises she could from them. Her leg-bobbing was another big tell, too. I tend to sit on tables rather than in the chairs at said table, allowing me to feel the earthquake occurring on the precinct floor. Her leg was bouncing up and down so vigorously it was practically shaking the room.
I would’ve asked her what she was so impatient about, but I feared I already knew the answer.
Grant.
And if I never heard that name roll off her tongue again, it would be too soon.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t ask where she was going, though.
Pretending to read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, I barely let my eyes venture far off the page when I loudly asked from the window seat, “So where are you going tonight, trouble?”
The faintest sound of a chuckle erupted in the bathroom, most likely from the nickname I hadn’t let die yet.
“Nunya,” was her ever-so mature answer.
I didn’t want to give her the chance to say ‘nunya business’ like I knew she would, so I quickly interjected with a monotone, “How clever of you.” If she wanted to be a child about this, then so be it.
“Let’s see. You brought your good heels out of your suitcase, which you only wear on special occasions. And you put on a different perfume than the one you usually use, so I’m assuming it’s new. ... If I didn’t know any better, trouble, I’d say you’re going on a date.”
She peeked her head out of the bathroom doorway to say, “You’re creepy, you know that?”
Seeing the small portion of her face that was embellished with a smile would’ve been enough if only I knew what dress she was hiding in behind that wall. I had yet to see that part of her ensemble, but if I had to guess, it would break my heart.
“Just saying,” I casually lied while clearing my throat.
“Well,” I heard her begin from within the bathroom. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Grant is meeting me tonight.”
Kill me now.
“I thought Grant lived in D.C.” Not that that would change much if he was already here.
“Yes, he does, but he’s driving all the way here to meet me. Seeee,” She drew out the word. “Would a serial killer do that?”
I refrained from giving the obvious answer: Yes.
“Well, I hope you don’t plan on bringing him back here. Otherwise, that’d be terribly awkward, don’t you think?” My allusion to the possibility that Grant would come back here to find me in her bed was borne from the intentions that were a complete contradiction to the words I’d just spoken. It, in fact, wouldn’t be terribly awkward. No, it would be fun. For me at least.
I would have loved to have seen the look on his face, and the worry on hers as she tried to explain who I was and why I had any right to be in (y/n)’s gravity.
The room went silent again while I stayed on the same page of my book and, unbeknownst to her, waited for her to enter the room. How long she was taking was starting to worry me, though.
“Need any help in there?” I called out.
“Nope,” She said through a strained voice that proved she was indeed struggling with something.
“Really?” I asked once more to give her another opportunity to lower her colossal pride. “Cause it sounds like you need help.”
“Nope. I’m good.” Liar.
I knew her too well. I counted down to the exact second when she finally scrambled to ask, “Can you help me zip up my dress?”
“Yyyup.” I’d already resigned to the fact that I would have to help her, bouncing happily off the bed when she finally admitted it and letting myself lose the page I was on as I tossed the book haphazardly behind me.
I was forced to join her in the bathroom for it was already hard for her to humble herself enough to ask me for help, so she certainly couldn’t be expected to lower her pride again and walk out to a place more convenient for me.
The first thing I noticed was that it was a space clearly not made for two. It was so cramped that I ended up right against her in order to fit. The second thing I noticed was how she made no movements to distance herself. She was so close to me that I could actually see the little hairs on the back of her neck standing up from where my breath ghosted on the area. The sterile smell of hotel bathrooms had been replaced by the flowery, aromatic scent of her new perfume, and my heart broke all over again.
Using the back of my fingers, I cast a barely-there caress on her neck to stroke her hair out of the way to clear the path of the zipper. The little hairs on the back of her neck stood up again.
She liked that.
“So do I get to know where you’re going?” I reached for the zipper on the small of her back. “For safety purposes, of course.”
“Aww, you looking out for me, Dr. Reid?” She teased in a seductive tone while gathering her hair into a makeshift ponytail that for the shortest second recorded in time might’ve reminded me of a constantly recurring intrusive image.
“Always, trouble.”
The zipper fastened with absolutely no resistance all the way to the top. My eyes flashed to the mirror to catch her expression, which told me everything I needed to know.
What a pretty little liar. She didn’t actually need my help.
Comprehending that the realization dawned on me, she gave me what she knew would shut me up. “We’re going to The Rooftop at Lamont’s.”
How effortlessly she slipped past me without a thank you or a glance in my direction served as a rude awakening.
“Well, you should take an umbrella with you. It looks like there’s gonna be a storm tonight.” This was my small way of coming to terms with the reality of the situation.
“Eh,” She waved my suggestion off with a dismissive hand. “We’ll be fine. Oh, and don’t even think about stalking me!” She warned before exiting the room.
In the blink of an eye, she was gone - my peace of mind having left with her.
_ _ _
The amount of sleep you need varies for each person and is affected by several factors. However, for most adults, 7–9 hours per night is the ideal amount. And I was slowly reducing that optimal quantity, hour by hour, until there was none left.
I would continue to sacrifice my sleep so long as I was awake for her return. If she’d asked why I was still up, I would lie. Though I wouldn’t look half so pretty as she did when she lied.
Losing rest seemed like such a small price to pay to make sure I was fully alert in the event that an emergency happened, even if I would suffer the consequences in the morning. But hey - that’s what caffeine is for, isn’t it? To re-energize oneself after staying up to guarantee one’s enemy’s safety.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly why Kaldi invented coffee in 750 A.D.
Besides the thunderstorm, my mind also made great company for situations like these. Granted, the visions it would project kept me up for a reason - they were all so awful.
There was simply no projected reality where things would turn out alright.
If she had the time of her life on her date, she would come back to throw it in my face that I’d been wrong, and her admiration for Grant would have deepened.
Or if he stood her up, she’d be devastated, but instead of letting me console her, she’d push me away as easily as she always did.
In a more neutral instance, perhaps she would admit it wasn’t as great meeting him as she thought it would be and the relationship would fade out for innocent reasons. Even if that seemed like the most favorable circumstance, she would eventually grow to resent me for planting the seed of doubt in her head in the first place.
But nothing- nothing I could have imagined would be as treacherous as what actually happened.
At exactly 1:09 a.m, my phone started to ring. I can’t explain to you what it was, but I just knew - it was her calling, and it wasn’t even her number.
“(Y/n)? Is everything okay?”
If she said something beforehand, I couldn’t hear her because the storm was too loud and her voice was too quiet. “Did I wake you up?”
I reassured her with a tone I didn’t even recognize. “No, no. I was awake. Why? What’s up?” The line went quiet again, forcing me to prompt her to speak in order to find out if she was still there on the call. “(Y/n)?”
“Spencer ...” She choked out a hoarse sob. “I need you. I need you to come get me, please.”
My eyes clenched shut at the dreadful sound of her sorrow, and I jolted into action. After scrambling to gather the keys to her car that she’d left behind, I fled the room faster than ever before.
“I’m on my way, (y/n). Stay right there. You’re at The Rooftop at Lamont’s right?”
The poor thing took the longest pause in history, either from shame or disorientation. “He threw me in the back of his car and drove me all the way to D.C. I …” Her breath caught on her dry throat again. “I, um, I managed to escape and now I’ve barricaded myself in a payphone booth. I haven’t called the police yet. You were the first person I thought to call. I just, I just needed to hear your voice.”
My knuckles turned an unfamiliar shade of white when I gripped the steering wheel, picturing her caged up in a rectangular box, dialing my number instead of 911 just so she could hear my voice.
“Everything is gonna be okay. I promise you. My ETA is 1:28. That’s in 19 minutes. Are you okay being there for that long or do you want to find somewhere safer?”
I could no longer distinguish the difference between talking to her right now and talking to a victim in distress. I was speaking with the same tone and inflection but feeling a sharp pain in my chest that wasn’t there before.
“I can stay here. Just ... don’t hang up, okay?” The fact that the possibility of me abandoning her over the phone even crossed her mind was more than enough to get me to drive well over the speed limit.
The list of traffic infractions only grew from there because honestly? Screw my safety or anyone else’s. Her’s was the only one that mattered. She was the priority.
She was my priority.
Throughout the entire call, I kept repeating, “You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.” Frankly, it was something we both needed to hear.
It was both the fastest and slowest 19 minutes of my life. Time no longer felt real when I finally found the payphone booth that boxed in my troublesome girl. No sooner did I drive up to the sidewalk than I ran out of the car to sprint the short distance to free her from her coop.
“(Y/n)!” I shouted, swinging the door open and throwing caution to the wind in the process. Immediately, she dropped the phone, not even bothering to replace it onto its receiver.
The pouring rain had stripped her of her dignity. Mascara ran down her face in pigmented streams of black. Her curled hair was dampened into strings. But worse of all, it hadn’t washed away the darkening bruises on her skin.
“Oh my god, Spencer!” She cried as she ran into my open arms.
Her body collided with mine in such a gentle manner that I had to wonder how that was possible at all or if it was a figment of my imagination. Was our collision actually that gentle or did it seem that way because of how good it felt to have her arms and legs latch around my entire torso, crossing and connecting somewhere in between?
With one arm under her thighs to hold her up, I pulled her impossibly closer to me by cradling the back of her head with the other hand.
Her small hands found their way into my hair, a new sensation I tried not to indulge in so as not to let my attention stray away from the little life I was holding in my arms.
She was so cold.
Shivering from my warm embrace, her teeth chattered as she whispered, “I’m so sorry, Spencer. You were right I should’ve listened -”
“Shh, it’s okay, (y/n),” I said with the hopes that I could make the pounding heart that was thumping against my shoulder settle down until it reached her standard heart rate of 67 beats per minute.
After a second of just holding her wordlessly, she spoke again.
“I don’t wanna fight.” She surrendered so easily to me that I could hardly believe this was her at all.
“I don’t wanna fight with you either.”
That was entirely true. Fighting with her was the last thing on my mind. The first was getting her into my car.
It was easier that I imagined it would be, but then again, it’s easy to do things when you’re motivated in this way.
Before I loosened my hold on her to shut the passenger door, she squeezed me a little tighter, as if to be absolutely certain this was real and not some cruel dream.
“Thank you,” She hummed into the crook of my neck. From where her shoulder was digging into my throat, I couldn’t exactly respond verbally, so I settled for rubbing my hand up and down her back comfortingly.
“Let’s take you home,” I basically said to myself seeing as it was too quiet to be discernible.
“No,” She shook her head rapidly. “Take me to your apartment.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to go back to the hotel right now. I need to be somewhere I feel safe.”
My apartment is closer than the hotel, I reasoned, pretending it was the logic of it that made my heart swell and not the statement I would fixate on for the entire duration of the ride there.
I need to be somewhere I feel safe.
And that’s wherever I’m with you.
_ _ _
Reader’s POV
Porcelain wall tiles gleamed back at me, mocking my wretched misery. They were much prettier than me, but then again, anything else would be prettier than me right about now.
I certainly wasn’t the belle of the ball in my bare naked state. The fact that I was sitting in a pool of my own washed off dried blood didn’t help either.
I would’ve looked away from the bright white walls, but where else were I to look? Into the pair of eyes that I was deliberately avoiding? The ones that were staring a hole through me right now? No. I couldn’t bear to meet those eyes. So I kept looking forward at the mean walls - those mean, mocking walls.
“Is the water warm enough?” He asked, dipping a finger into the bathwater to test it himself.
I watched as his hand snuck into the tub and swirled around some water, causing soap bubbles to revitalize.
For a reason I didn’t know nor could remember at this given moment, Spencer drove me to his apartment. That memory of why I was here was fuzzy, but the rest following my arrival was more vivid. Perhaps because it was all unfolding right now.
“I think I should go,” I murmured. The bathwater had gone cold, and the silence was too deafening. If I didn’t leave now, then I would be trapped forever.
I leaned forward with my knees still pressed to my chest to protect my modesty while I tugged on the silver drain plug of the tub to release the suction.
“You can’t go home. You’ll be alone again, and who will be there to help you that time?”
“I don’t need anybody’s help.” I responded curtly.
“Then why did you call me tonight?”
“Why did you answer?”
He was stunned by how I didn’t miss a beat with my question, stunned enough to purse his lips in contempt. “Should I have declined your call then? Said ‘no’ instead and let you fend for yourself? You know what - my bad, (y/n). I sincerely apologize that I care about you.”
I scoffed at his factiousness. “No, what you should’ve done is whatever the hell you wanted to do. But clearly, since you said ‘yes’ and came to my rescue like I’m some victim in a case - you wanted to be there. I could chalk that up to you having a hero complex, but I think it’s time for you to admit you just wanted to see me at my worst so you could throw it in my face like you’re doing right now.”
He clenched his jaw in fury, muttering under his breath, “I should’ve left you in that booth.”
This crossed a line, but I was just as ready to cross it, too.
“But I bet you liked saving me. Seeing me as a damsel in distress that you could white knight. You like that, Spence? Does my weakness settle your deep rooted fear of inadequacy in strength?”
Shouldn’t have done that.
For a second there, I was sincerely scared of the response I might’ve just elicited, so I shot up from the tub and grabbed the towel on the rack, quickly wrapping myself in it and avoiding Spencer’s gaze the entire way out of the bathroom.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Judging from the loudness of his voice, he was right on my heels, following me close behind.
“You’re smart. Figure it out.”
“God, why do you have to be such a pain in the ass? I don’t want to leave you like this.” It never failed to amaze me how he could both show disdain and concern for me in the matter of a sentence.
“Well, you’re not leaving me like this - I’m leaving you like this.” My clever remark angered him more.
Seemingly from out of nowhere, Spencer called out from the end of his hallway, “What are you so scared of?”
Reaching the end of my rapidly fraying rope, I spun around to throw my arms out to my side in just the same defensive manner as he did. “Nothing! Maybe I just don’t wanna be stuck in the apartment of the man who hates me! Can you blame me?”
He ran a hasty hand through his hair, pulling at the strands out of pure irritation. “Why do you keep saying I hate you? How can any of what I’ve done for you tonight suggest that?”
He’d chosen his words carefully and for that, he was smart. His inclusivity of the word ‘tonight’ meant I could only reference his actions from the past few hours, which wouldn’t help my case, as opposed to the months and months that he’d given me the cold shoulder, which would have helped my case. But again, he was smart - he had me in a deadlock. I couldn’t accept defeat, but what could I possibly argue against his point?
My body literally shook from the power of the deep groan that tore through my chest. “God, what do you want from me, Spencer?” I wanted nothing more than to be far, far away from him, but my body was resisting all those urges. Lunging forward, I pointed the sternest index finger at him, staring the most unforgiving glare into his soul. “Tell me - tell me what you want! Because when I was nice to you, you-you treated me like shit. And then when I stopped being nice to you, you still treated me like shit. So what -” I had to laugh to alleviate the sheer rage I was feeling. “What the fuck do you want from me? Because it’s like no matter what I do, it’s just not good enough for you!”
His eyebrows had furrowed and his eyes softened. He didn’t look angry whatsoever. No, he looked hurt.
“Not good enough for me?” He leaned down to my level to look right into my eyes. “You are everything … everything to me.”
With one last breath, I cried out in anguish, “Then why? Why do you hate me so much?”
He gulped back the lump in his throat - the last barrier that kept him from telling the truth.
“I ... I never hated you. I just need to be in control of my thoughts and feelings at all times, otherwise, I feel-I feel like I’m going crazy. Like I’m on the verge of a psychotic break that I’m genetically predisposed to have. But when you came around - I lost all my control. You were inhabiting my dreams, you were stealing my sleep, occupying more and more space in my brain until there was no more room left to take. God, I think about you all the time, and I literally cannot physically stop it. I have no control anymore,” and somehow him saying that sounded something like an ‘I love you.’
“The only thing I could control was how I treated you. I thought being awful to you would get you to despise me enough to make me despise you, too, and while it was easier to be angry at you, it was so much worse having you hate me.”
“I never hated you, Spencer.” Never.
“You should have,” He rasped. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I wish to spend every day proving that I want you. Oh, I want you so bad,” He sharply inhaled through gritted teeth, and I unconsciously laughed in return. His pain wasn’t funny in the least. What was amusing was knowing that he had the same excruciating longing for me that I had for him.
“I don’t want control anymore if it means I can’t have you.”
He leaned in so carefully that I almost didn't register the movement at all. Our hearts were pounding to the same synchronized beat. We were the shore and the tide one in the same. Our breaths would draw in and out, in and out, as he held my face so gently. We were still the shore and the tide, but more than anything we were drowning in the ocean of ourselves. The rising waters of his admiration threatened to flood every empty nook and cranny of the room until it swallowed me whole. All I could feel was him, everywhere, filling absolutely everything.
“Wow ... I finally got you speechless,” The cocky bastard hummed happily, letting his words vibrate on the smallest part of my lip.
“Oh, shut up,” I declared through a smirk I needed to fight off before finally closing that nearly imperceptible gap between us.
All the forces in the world couldn’t tear us apart after we connected. They were no match for the force Spencer’s hands had as they pulled me impossibly closer. The pressure might’ve even been unbearable had it not been for the velvety pair of lips giving me back all the oxygen it stole from my lungs just seconds ago. They were so soft, like freshly washed sheets, like biting into cotton candy, like floating for the first time, feeling utterly weightless in water. It’s sweet, it’s so effortlessly sweet.
Not nearly as sweet as the words that followed our parting.
“Not enough for me?” He repeated, recalling my previous claim. “You’ve had me since the day you walked in, trouble.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
fingers crossed this fic doesn’t flop!
complete taglist: @muffin-cup @s1utformgg @no-alarms-no-surprises-silence @jemimah-b99 @justanothetfangirl @kylab @rainsong01 @calm-and-doctor @inkstainedwritergirl @rexorangecouny @ashwarren32 @carooliina @fortheloveofcriminalminds @watermelongubler @obsessedmaggiemay @k-k0129 @aperrywilliams @eevee0722 @spencersmagic @spencerreid-mgg @half-blood-dork @goldeng1rl8 @just-a-bunch-of-fandoms @random-human-person @masumiyetimziyanoldu @dreamer-writer-fangirl @kalamitykait @jinxy175 @apolloroid
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#spencer reid#Spencer Reid fic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid kiss#fighting fire with fire#juniorgman187#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction
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Ooooo I saw that someone requested parental erasermic headcanons! May I request parental erasermic headcanons for if their kid were sick?💜
Absolutely!!!
Erasermic as Parents Pt.2 -When Their Child is Sick!
These two’s reactions will be on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Aizawa at first is going to assume that it’s not that bad and that you’re just trying to get out of school. Like I said previously, he’s the bad cop parent and he’s going to do a lot of investigating before he’s actually convinced you’re sick. Expect for your forehead and neck to be checked for a fever both by his hands and by a thermometer. Dadzawa is very much the type of parent to send you to school when you don’t feel well if it’s not too bad just to see what happens. The only thing that’s going to convince him right off the bat that you’re ill is if he sees you or hears you throwing up in the toilet.
Once Aizawa concludes that you really are sick he’s going to put you on bed arrest. He’s going to put a bowl next to your bed in case you throw up and make sure that you drink plenty of fluids. Aizawa is also really good about making sure you take your medicine, no matter how nasty it is, and makes sure to regularly change out the wet rag on your forehead to keep the fever down.
Present Mic is a lot laxer and won’t make you go to school if you don’t feel well. He’s also more likely to worry and freak out when you do get sick and will dote on you while you’re in bed. He’s going to bring you chicken noodle soup and water and make sure you’re covered with blankets and comfortable. He’s the first one to consider taking you to the doctor, even if it’s not that serious.
If you are at school and not feeling well it’s better to call or go to Mic first as he’s going to be more understanding and is more likely to take you home. Mic 100% wrapped around his child’s finger and is going to spoil them. If you do have to go to Aizawa he’s going to be more skeptical and will make you go see Recovery Girl first before taking you home.
At least one of them is going to stay home with you to observe you and make sure you don’t get too bad. Although you spend most of your sickness sleeping, when you are awake they will come in and check on you to see how you are doing.
Aizawa is going to be Mr. Softie and rub your face, head, and back while asking how you are feeling. He’s going to want you to sleep and rest as much as possible. While he’s there he’s going to ask you if you need anything and will pretty much get you whatever you ask for. During these times he becomes a pretty big pushover and is more likely to spoil you. The only thing he’s not going to let you do is get up or eat junk food that might make you sicker, but other than that go for it. Want him to bring you a book to read or a movie to watch? He’s on it. Want him to bring you something to drink? He’s bringing you water or juice. Hungry? How about some crackers to snack on?
When he comes to check on you while you’re asleep he’ll brush some hair out of your face and kiss your forehead before replacing the washcloth with a new one. Then he’ll readjust the blanket so it’s right under your chin so that you’re nice and toasty. He’ll never admit to it though.
Present Mic is still going to be goofy and will try to help you curb your boredom. He knows it sucks being stuck in bed all day, but that doesn’t mean you have to be miserable. He’s going to try and get you to laugh and smile by telling bad jokes and just being goofy in general. He might sit and watch the television with you and crack jokes or might even play videogames with you if you feel up to it. Don’t tell Aizawa though because he’s definitely the type to say ‘ if you can play videogames you can go to school’.
Present Mic won’t bother you while you’re sleeping though, he’s afraid he’ll wake you up and disturb your rest. He’s a loud man and he knows it.
Overall, these two are really caring and concerned about their child when they’re sick and will do the utmost to make them feel better. They take pity and feel really bad that their child is feeling so bad, but they will always be there to help.
#erasermic#mha#bnha#mha x child reader#bnha x child reader#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#aizawa x child reader#dadzawa#parent aizawa x reader#parent present mic x reader
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Little Butterfly I (Sugar Daddy Mob Boss!Spencer Reid x Reader AU)
Warnings: Part 1 of an ongoing series (that i hopefully won’t abandon), Upcoming heavy violence, Mafia and Crime related fic, Spencer is a soft dom but is dangerous, HEAVY SMUT, upcoming dark kinks (Gun,Knife,Bondage etc), daddy kink for sure, Manipulation kink, Degradation, Humiliation (yknow the drill with me) spoiling kink?, upcoming murders etc, heavy topic regarding mental illness, College legal age!Reader, Age gap, older!Spencer, Mean!Spencer, BDSM themed, Indication of Subspace, Just heavily dark smutty series (yet again lmao)
Hello, my wonderful readers, i want to thank you all for the patience you all have for this series, hopefully i can stick to schedule an update this once a week like Thrilled. This will be a new territory for me since all i know about mafia and such are from the movies and countless books my father has inherited me with, so i deeply apologize if there’re some mistakes, this is an AU that means its only a story and fantasy. If you are uncomfortable to violence and sex then PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. Thank you, and Happy Reading.
This series will set around the 80′s New York.
MASTERLIST HERE
There is no hiding from the absolute luxury you indulge in, in fact you love showing it to whoever might want to pry deep enough into your life. You caused no harm by it, and it certainly isn’t anybody’s business but yours and his.
The pair of arms around your waist is a certain remainder of who you belong to, and you loved it. He looked good tonight, almost too good with the suit adorning his perfection like an absolute genius adonis— your genius adonis. You feel your cheeks heats up slightly as he glanced at you, knowing just how shy you get around so many people— his little girl is sensitive after all.
Spencer Reid knows every little thing about you, what makes you tick, what makes you snap, what makes you bow in submission to him, and what makes you feel heavenly. He knows it all, he knows the way you trembled slightly whenever he wrapped his arms around your neck as he leaned down to kiss you, or how squirmy you get whenever he tug your hair, said your name calmly whilst shoving his fingers into your mouth— he knows everything.
—
It was a mutual agreement at first, living on 80’s New York has never been so stressful during your 20’s, all the student loans, the bartending you do sometimes, even the couple of scandalous photoshoots you sacrificed yourself doing to keep your bank account afloat. Your family never really cared much, and the only person that you truly have is Emily, your roommate.The whole ordeal was strange when you found out Emily’s ties to the mafia, being the daughter of one of the strongest mafia’s capo on America during that time. You wondered how on earth she has managed to doesn’t want to get on her father’s good side, and just except the riches that comes along with being a mob, but then again you were a stranger to it too...or so you thought.
The night she asked you to accompany her to meet her father and his boss, you shrugged and said yes, having nothing to do in the apartment other than wallowing in your own debts and sadness— you immediately agrees which put a smile on her cute face.
“I thought you didn’t want nothing to do with your father.” You asked as you raked through the closet to find something... ‘elegant’ but not too much, it’s going to be in a lavish restaurant after all. Your eyes darted to Emily’s who has been staring at her phone, smiling to whoever is texting her— you could only assumed it was one of her secret girlfriend-hookup for the week.
“Well i didn’t but money is tight, fucking inflation.” She looked up for once, lips hanging open at the sight of you standing there in a black dress, short with a slit on the thigh area— looking absolutely ravenous. “Holy fucking shit.” Emily whispered.
“What? is this enough? god i feel like such a prude.” You bit your lip as you await her comments, “You look fucking gorgeous you idiot, i mean are you sure you aren’t gay by any chance?” She laughed, which caused you to giggle, “I never said i’m not gay.. just that i’m not—
“Interested in dating, yeah yeah but we can at least fuck or something.” She jokingly raised her eyebrows as you throw your bra her way and laughed, “I just don’t want to get distracted em, especially that we live together.” You pouted before giving her a kiss on the cheek, which made her roll her eyes and smile.
Only if you knew what this meeting will entails.
—
The wine tasted exquisite on your tongue, the sweet burn of merlot was pleasant on the base of your throat which shocked you at first— maybe you should stop buying cheap wines, because the real ones are heavenly. You looked around nervously, it has been a long time since you’ve gone out to have dinner, let alone one as expensive as this.
“Stop looking like you’re about to die.” Emily whispers as she took the seat next to you, which you humorously giggle and swat her shoulder, “I’m not. It’s just.. new to me is all.” You nervously chuckled, before sipping on your wine some more. It was clear that her dad and his so called mob boss were late— which you rolled your eyes since Emily was basically rushing your make up, you just hoped that you looked decent enough, not that you want to impress anyone, its just good to feel like you’ve fit yourself to the occasion.
“Oh, you’ll get used to it.” Emily chuckled, before you could even process what she meant by that the sound of a soft elderly timbre rang through your ears, “Cara mia! Jesus, you’ve grown!” Emily slapped your thigh softly, gesturing for you to stand up.
Dear heaven, lord save your knees from buckling.
You watched as Emily greeted her father as you stood by her side, she kisses him on both cheeks as they made a small conversation that you pay no mind to since you were distracted, distracted by the pair of eyes that caught yours from the moment he walked in.
A soft yet stern eyes that held yours captive at this very moment, a presence that demands every single person for its attention, and intimidating like no other. A man, a finely sculpted man, standing in front of you in an attire that you were sure was more expensive than your whole closet, His soft looking curls marvelously falls fo his side, his plump lips were begging to be kissed— to be listened, to be heard, his tall lean figure towers over you which has you gulping down nervously— so much so that you failed to acknowledged the presence of Emily’s father calling your name.
“Y/N!” You let out a gasp before turning to shake Emily’s father’s hand, trying your best to smile as you glanced over the towering man, “So this is the Y/N i’ve heard so much about huh?” The old man snickered, looking gentle whilst maintaining a facade still. You giggled softly, “I hope there are all good things, nice to meet you Mr.Prentiss.”
“Oh please, Robert is fine. Oh Emily, Y/N this is don Reid.” He stepped back in.. what looks like an utter fear, you gasped as you realized that this is.. the mob boss Emily talked about, the masochistically handsome man you’ve been staring at— you thought a mafia boss would be someone older, but this is certainly not the case.
“Pleased to meet you both, Spencer Reid.” He extended his hand which Emily gladly took before she nudges your side whilst you were still gawking at the man, the soft yet deep timbre of his voice soothes and intimidate you at the same time, not to mention how he carries himself— practically saying he’s a god.
“Oh— um yes hello, pleased to meet you, i’m Y/N.” You bit your lip as you feel your cheeks hurt from the embarrassment, shaking his hand quickly— before you could even imagine pulling away, he gives you an amused chuckle and squeeze your hand tightly before releasing you.
“Well, let’s take a seat shall we?”
You are so fucking fucked.
--
“So, Y/N, Emily told me you’re majoring in art department, how’re you liking it?” Robert spoke as you eat your pasta slowly, trying not to show how you were trembling under the very same gaze that held you captive from the moment it arrives here. You gulped down a delicious bite of pancetta, before answering, “Oh i love it, always been my passion— well painting is, but i do love everything about art and literature.” You chuckled.
“I would love to see your art sometimes.” The voice could strangle you and you’d die happily, it really could— you glanced at the man whose been looking at you like a wolf to its prey, fingers skimming over the feet of the wine glass as a soft yet eloquent smile strikes over his face.
“Oh um, it’s not— it’s not that good, i wouldn’t want to waste your time.” You choked on your wine, feeling the burn on your throat as he let out a humorous-less laugh, shaking his head, before bringing his lean fingers to his lips. “Nothing is wasteful, not if it comes to such art like you.”
What?
“Huh?” You felt small, your cheeks heated at the reference as you tried so hard not to squirm and praised yourself by hearing what you thought you heard. Your eyes darted to his in a shy manner as he kept his composure well, licking the rim of his glass before sipping his wine gently.
“Anyways! dad, shall we talk a bit more private? i’m sure Y/N can keep the don company.” You gasped at Emily’s words, still barely grasping the previous encounter— the bottom of your heel jab at her left foot, as you glared at her, “Of course of course, don?” Robert spoke up, eyes lowering as his body turned to look at the smirking masterpiece that still stares at you with the same intensity.
“Go. We’ll be fine, won’t we angel?” You gulped down as much wine as you could without burning your throat before smiling nervously, eyes glancing back and forth to The Don and Emily.
“Y-Yes um sure.” You offered a gentle smile, even though your heels jabbed Emily’s which yet again resulted in her tiny laugh before she walks away to the back area of the restaurant.
The area was thick with intensity and glamorous lights, adding to the headache that already starts due to you being a lightweight around alcohol. Suddenly you realized, that you’re practically alone— with the don of the biggest mafia ring in America. “Go ahead and ask me the question.” He murmured sternly, causing your ears to perk at the sudden thrill that made your goosebumps rose and thrived under the shimmering lights.
“Pardon?” Your fingers fiddled with the hem of your dress as you tried so hard not to stare at the huge man, feeling as if you’re being cornered by a lion, and you his prey.
“Your cheeks are warm aren’t they? you keep biting your lips every time i muttered a word, you can’t even look at me because you know that the second you do, you wouldn’t be able to stop. Emily is right, you’re a pure little thing, its fucking cute really. If this table weren’t here separating us, you’d be across my lap already— for wearing something so slutty like that.” By the time he finishes taunting you, you stopped breathing, thigh squeezing against each other so tightly that you could feel how damp your panties are getting.
“Go ahead and ask, doll. Surely you can’t be dumb enough to think i would just allow anyone to meet me let alone a little college student like you.” His eyebrow lifted, as you nervous squirmed on your seat and breathed out.
“Why did you asked her to bring me?”
“Nicely. You know better, Y/N.”
“Sir...”
—
And the rest was history, the pair of arms around your waist tighten as the owner’s lips caress and nip at the very sensitive part of your neck, causing you to shudder and mewls. “mmh.. t-too early.” You complained, fully knowing that would only amuse him even more.
He chuckled as you had predicted, nimble fingers grazing up and down your front like feathers, delicately worshipping every inch of your skin. The blaring sound of New York’s traffic was prominent, but somehow that adds a thrilling aspect for you, months ago— you were picking up morning shifts by now, working your ass off just to gain enough cash to pay this month’s rent. But now, here you are, in the arms of the most feared yet young powerful don in the entirety of the mob community, Heck if everyone knows who he is and how much power he holds— they’d all fear him, but not you, not his fiery little butterfly.
“Shh, let me love on you a little.” Your heart warmed, familiar feeling of a thousand butterflies swarming on your belly caused your cheeks to warmed at the gesture. He said things like those often, though he made it perfectly clear that you were, you are only here for business arrangements, you knew he likes to toy over affection like this— one you aren’t supposed to get attached to. But how couldn’t you? when his hand so softly glides down the curve of your godly features, warm breath fanning across your skin from behind, whispering sweet words.
“Look so pretty for me, butterfly.” He whispered, causing you to yet again whimpers, hand clutching the sheets tightly as he moves down down down until he turned you over and settle between your legs, smiling at you. “If heaven is real, you’re definitely it.” He nipped and bit the exposed skin of your thighs, last night and the night before and before still there but like he said,
“If you agree to the terms, i’ll give you every damn thing you fucking want. Your bills, rents, loans, plus each and every single thing you wished to buy.”
“And in retur—“
“In return, you will be mine, mine to have whenever wherever i want, you won’t be my chained slave or nothing, but you’ll be mine.”
So marked you again and again he did, tearing your satin panties he did, panties that cost more than a week worth of luxury meal that he only grunted with “I’ll buy the whole fucking store, now shut up and let daddy eat his breakfast.”
You swore you’re in god’s heaven then and there, even if you aren’t sure that you believe in one, you can’t help but to think that this is some kind of miracle, your life is, here you have a perfect adonis, suckling on your clit as his fingers pump your delectable cunt in and out with such a fast pace that made you feel all floaty and flustered. The same man that commands the room whenever he walks in, the same man who pay all your bills, the same man who bought you a new lavish apartment and hands you gifts every damn day.
“Oh! oh please daddy right there..” You moaned out loud as your fingers latched onto his hair, softly tug on them as he moaned against your drippy cunt and suck your clit even harder,earning a particularly loud and lewd moan from you. “mmh! a-ah! i’m gonna—“ He held his finger up then, eyes finding yours as his mouth continues to work on your now sensitive clit. Spencer wasn’t too strict or nothing about your rules but if there’s two that he’s strict about is for you to cum only if he gives you permission— no matter the place or time, if he wants you to cum, you’ll cum— not that it’s hard, with someone as skilled as him.
When you begged and begged, he slapped your thigh only to grunt darkly, “If you can’t shut up and let daddy enjoys this, i’ll fucking take you on the balcony and fuck you for all Manhattan to see. Do you want that, Butterfly? want everyone to see what a filthy college girl you are getting fucked by someone as dangerous as me?” He slapped your cunt then, over and over again as you pant, and mewls.. Body jolts and pulsed at his ministration.
“You’re going to cum like this—“ He paused to spit directly onto your swollen clit, watching it wet the sensitive nub, “Going to cum with daddy slapping your greedy little cunt. Or you are not getting an orgasm.”
“Yes, daddy— oh!” True to his words, he spank you, over and over again, leaving you quivering and brokenly cried at the burning pleasure, “Cum princess, come on, you surely know how to thank daddy don’t you?” Your hole clenched around nothing as you arch your back and sobbed,
“Can’t— daddy please i-“
“You were so fucking desperate to cum, why not now huh? your sensitive cunt surely looks wrecked enough.” He scoffed before he spank your clit so hard you jumped at the sensation before he licked his fingers and caress your clit in fast fanning motion, not giving you enough time to even breathe as your cunt pulses and throb with overwhelming need of release, building up up up, up until you finally trembled and cum all over the bed— an orgasm so intense that you blacked out for few seconds straight.
“Shh.. shh good girl, that’s it— fuck you look so ethereal like this, butterfly.” He muses as he settle his head on your lap and admire your pulsing body, “T-Thank- y-you.. daddy.” You gathered all the strength you have left as he smiled proudly.
Your head laid on his chest as you both cuddle in silence, trying to enjoy the serenity and calm environment around you as the city below you buzzed all round. It was calming for awhile before his phone rang and you involuntarily sighs, “I know pretty girl, i know.” He muttered, before smiling apologetically- Not that he needs to.. Business arrangements, not like you’re his girlfriend or nothing.
love on you,
love on you,
let me love on you,
You forced your fuzzy subby mind to get the thoughts out, as you watched his figure put on his robe, and leaned down, “I’ll be back later okay, don’t forget to check your phone.” He kissed your forehead for a bit, letting it linger as you held back your tears, wishing he could stay with you, you need your daddy, you really really do need him now. Feeling all small and fuzzy like this. But with the blaring noise of his ringtone, you knew the don has business to take care of and of course you’re not important enough to held such important task to be left.
So you smiled all nicely and kissed all the rings finger on his fingers before bidding a tiny whimper of, “Best of luck, don.” Your head bowed a little in respect as he noticed the true and true sadness flashed across your eyes, but paid it no mind as his other burner phone blared.
“Thank you, Butterfly. Get dressed soon, and i’ll have Morgan bringing you that sandwich from the deli you love so much. I’ll see you soon.”
Oh how nice would it be if this is your life, but life doesn’t always have a happy ending after all.
——
Comment or send me a message if you want to be added to this series taglist!
#spencer reid smut#littlebutterfly#mob!spencer#daddy!spencer#matthew gray gubler smut#mgg smut#insufferableblurb
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A Wolf in the Castle
Pairing: Charles Blackwood x fem!Reader
Words: 4110
Summary: You arrive at Blackwood Manor to find an unexpected visitor disrupting the sensitive ecosystem of the small family.
Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content (oral sex (f receiving), fingering unprotected vaginal sex), very minor violence (brief mention of blood), mention of committing crimes, SMUT, 18+ ONLY!
A/N: I’ve been binging a bunch of Seb Stan movies over the past few days as I finish my week off, and Charles Blackwood kind of struck me. I really enjoyed this fic and hope you do too!
Will reblog later with tags (join my taglist here!)
not my gif
Alright, what the hell? You thought to yourself as you pulled up to Blackwood manor.
There was a strange red convertible in the driveway. Constance and Merricat never had visitors aside from the Clarkes and you. You frowned to yourself as you climbed out of your sedan, picking up the books and flowers from the passenger seat as you went to knock on the front door.
Constance greeted you with one of her beaming smiles that always managed to break your heart a bit.
“Y/N, it’s so good to see you! I know Merricat has been looking forward to you coming to visit. You’ll have to excuse us, our cousin Charles has come to stay with us unexpectedly, so we didn’t have enough time to prepare a room for you.”
“Constance, you don’t need to apologize!” You chided as you followed her into the receiving room. “You’re certain this visit won’t be a strain, now that you have another houseguest?”
“Oh, nonsense! Merricat would never forgive me if I sent you away! I see you brought her some new books. And are those lilies?”
“Lilies, cherry blossoms, and lilacs. I remembered they’re your favorites!” You gave her a warm smile as you handed her the bouquet and set the books on one of the end tables.
“Thank you so much! Oh! Y/N, this is our cousin, Charles Blackwood! Charles, this is Merricat’s tutor, and our very good friend, Y/N.”
You extended your hand to the man who had just entered the receiving room and he pressed his lips to your knuckles with a charming smile. His blue eyes took you in as he leaned back against the rear of the couch. You were a stark contrast to Constance’s proper and domestic appearance. You were wearing a pair of tight white capris and a gingham blouse that you had tied in a knot just above the waistline of your pants.
You gave him an appraising look of your own. He was relaxed in a cream linen suit. His soft chestnut waves slicked back from his face as he gave you a smirk. He had an air of easy allure about him that made you uneasy.
You didn’t trust him a bit.
“So nice to meet you, Charles.” You murmured as he stared at you.
“Y/N!” Merricat came tearing into the receiving room and leapt on you, wrapping her arms around you in a desperate embrace and making you laugh. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much!”
“Mary, you’re being incredibly inappropriate.” Charles was no longer smiling as he watched your young student chatter at you giddily, her hands and knees smudged with dirt from the garden.
“Please, it’s fine.” You grinned at him as Merricat shot him a poisonous glare over her shoulder. “I’ve brought you some new books Merricat, ‘Transcendental Magic’ and several encyclopedias of poisonous plants of the United States and Canada.”
“Oh, thank you!” Merricat ran her fingers over the book covers lovingly when you handed them to her. “Will you join me in the woods to look for some of these?”
“Dear girl, I would love to. But first I need to bring in my suitcases and unpack.” Constance was still beaming between the two of you as her sister opened the book on magic and started to read. Charles looked incredibly disapproving though, and that made you smile for some reason. “I think it’s a little too late for us to venture out tonight anyways, so why don’t you help me bring in the rest of my things, and tomorrow we can make a whole day of it! We’ll bring a picnic and everything!”
Merricat grinned at you before she ran off to put away her new treasures, taking the steps two at a time.
“You shouldn’t encourage the girl.” Charles mumbled under his breath, scowling at you.
“I think it’s lovely how Merricat light’s up whenever Y/N is here.” Constance started to say, but her words died off and her smile took on a certain strain as Charles turned his disapproving gaze to her.
“Exactly what harm is she doing?” You asked, turning to the man with a tired expression. “The girl is exceptionally bright, and I refuse to stifle her. She could be turning that energy into something far more destructive if she isn’t given a proper outlet.” You murmured, shooting a knowing glance at Constance.
“Very well.” He grumbled. “Just make sure she’s washed up for dinner. Constance has made us a lovely meal, I won’t have the girl spoiling it.”
You considered questioning Constance about her cousin once he left to work his way up to his room, but she just gave you another smile and turned to head to the kitchen and finish her preparations. Merricat came bursting through the front door then, looking slightly comical as she tried to maneuver your two cases at once. You hurried to assist her and the two of you headed up to the guest room.
Once you reached the guest room, the two of you set to unpacking your things.
“When did your cousin arrive, Merricat?” You asked as you hung up some of your dresses and she arranged your makeup and perfumes on the vanity.
You saw her shoulders tense when you mentioned Charles. Jonas had followed the two of you and was winding his way through Merricat’s legs. She picked him up and held him close to her chest.
“He came here unbidden and is most unwelcome.” She whispered harshly as she avoided making eye contact with you. “I believe he is making Uncle Julian sicker, and he intends to take Constance from me.”
You stood up to embrace the girl, hoping to soothe her. You smoothed your hands over her hair as she buried her face in your chest.
“Dear girl. Are you sure about these things?” She was incredibly overprotective of her remaining family members, but you couldn’t deny the man made you uncomfortable too.
She just nodded into your shoulder.
“Well, we’ll just have to do our best to make sure he leaves then, won’t we?” You tipped her chin up to face you and she gave a small smile of relief. “Now, I’m going to take a bath before dinner, you should get cleaned up as well. We don’t want to arouse any suspicions.”
She gave you a serious nod and scurried off to her room as you went to run yourself a bath. You chewed the inside of your cheek nervously as you began to undress, considering the best way to go forward.
You joined the family downstairs an hour later, and again felt Charles’ eyes lock onto you. He was considering the differences between you and Constance, once more. Constance had changed into a lovely pale blue chiffon dress for the meal, while you had again chosen an outfit that could well be considered scandalous; a long-sleeved black satin cape-cod sheath that hugged you tightly. He was leering at you over his glass of wine as you entered the dining room.
You heard Merricat hiss when she pushed her Uncle Julian into the room, and deduced that her cousin was wearing one of her father’s suits. He had also placed himself at the head of the table. You gave a heavy sigh as you took your seat across from Constance, in between Charles and Julian. You gave the girls’ uncle a smile and polite greeting as Constance poured you a glass of wine.
“This looks wonderful as always, Constance.” You tipped your glass to her and gave her a small smile of appreciation before raising it to your lips. The poor woman was doing her best to ignore the excessive tension in the room, beaming at everyone seated around the table.
“I’m so glad you like it, Y/N. I made sure to make you some green beans amandine, I remembered that it’s your favorite.”
“It is, it’s so sweet that you remembered.” You praised her, sending her into a fit of tittering. “So, Julian, how are the memoirs coming?”
You smirked into your drink as the man started going on about the night of the murders. You could sense Charles tense up once he started talking and turned your head just enough to catch a glimpse of the muscles in his jaw tense up as he took a swig of wine.
“That’s enough.” He seethed, slamming his glass back down on the table and taking a deep breath to recenter himself. His smile had a certain strain to it when he lifted his head again. “Let’s talk about happier things.”
“Oh, of course.” You murmured. “Merricat, how are your studies going?”
You saw his knuckles grow white as he gripped the edge of the table.
“Oh, I’ve learned six new spells since I last saw you, the first…”
“No.” He looked at you frustratedly as you threw a wink to Merricat, making her giggle. “How about we just, enjoy our meal, hmm?”
You shrugged at him and took another sip of wine before tucking into your dinner. Constance was such a wonderful cook, it was easy to lose yourself in the food. Everyone had a clean plate before long, and you stood to help Constance and Merricat clear the table.
“No, Y/N, you’re our guest, I don’t want you doing any work during your visit with us. It wouldn’t feel right.” Constance scolded you. “Please go join Charles and Julian in the lounge for some after-dinner drinks, oh, and maybe some dancing later, wouldn’t that be lovely?”
“That does sound lovely.” You turned to walk to the lounge but when you arrived, only Charles was there, pouring himself a glass of sherry. “Where’s Julian?”
“Julian decided to turn in for the night.” He told you as he focused on pouring his drink. “Did you want a sherry?”
“Yes, please.” He handed you a small glass and you took a sip, giving a hum of appreciation when the sweet liquor hit your tongue. “Constance is such a wonderful cook, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, Connie’s great.” He chuckled, turning to face you. You felt your hackles rising as he leered at you, his eyes roaming over your body with no reservations as he gave you a wolfish grin. “So what’s your story sweetheart?”
You narrowed your eyes at him but Constance chose that moment to enter the study, and he put up his charming façade again.
“My goodness, I didn’t realize how late it was.” She said, grinning at the two of you. “Will you think any less of me if I retire early? I feel like such a bad hostess.”
“Constance, please.” You gave her a soft look of reproach. “You need to take care of yourself, darling. Please rest, I’m sure Charles and I can find some way to entertain ourselves.”
“Yeah, go to bed, Connie.” Charles gave her a grin as he moved to refill his drink.
You shifted yourself as Constance turned to go, moving towards the desk slowly as you listened to her footsteps going up the stairs. You shifted a letter opener under your palm as you leaned back, waiting to hear the click of Constance’s bedroom door before you started talking again. You heard the click and turned to face Charles, tossing back all of your drink as a look of malice came over your face.
“Alright asshole, what’s your fucking game?” You seethed at Blackwood, sneering at the look of surprise that came over his face.
“Excuse me?” His accent slipped as he tried to recover, and you knew you had him.
“You come in here, zero prep, and manage to raise the hackles of these morons in what, a week?” You were furious, this man must be some kind of special idiot. “I’ve been working these fools for 2 years, asshole, I swear to god, if you ruin this for me…”
“Listen, bitch, I didn’t realize someone was already latched onto this teat.” You could tell he was pissed now, too, but you didn’t care. “But maybe, the fact that you haven’t gotten anywhere in 2 years means this just isn’t for you. I’ll do you a favor and cut you in for 10 percent once I get access to the safe.”
“The safe?” You covered your mouth so that your laughter wouldn’t carry. “You idiot. No wonder that stupid fucking kid is so worked up. You’re working a short-con on them? This is not going to go your way.” You were shaking with mirth.
He growled and slammed his glass on the bar cart, jostling the bottles dangerously. He was snarling as he closed the distance between you and wrapped a hand around your throat, pressing himself into you so hard the desk rattled. You brought up the letter opener and pressed it against his neck in warning, making him hiss.
The two of you stilled when you heard footsteps above you. You just stared at each other, panting heavily as you waited. The footsteps stopped suddenly, and you sighed in relief as you heard the creak of Constance finally climbing into bed.
“Listen dumbass,” You whispered at him, digging the blade into his neck to accentuate your point. “This is my score. I actually did my research, I ingrained myself to that brat, I fucked the damn simpleton, you think you can just waltz in here with that shit-eating grin and take it all away from me, you are very mistaken.”
He snorted at you, “Jesus, why would you fuck Julian?” he had slotted one of his knees between your thighs and started to edge up the hem of your skirt as he moved even closer to you.
“What?” You were doing your best to ignore the way your body was reacting to being in such close proximity to him. “No, the other simpleton, Connie. What, you haven’t?”
The look of surprise on his face was satisfying and annoying at the same time. You rolled your eyes as he released your throat and gave you an appreciative look.
“Well, fuck, sweetheart. You’re full of surprises.”
“Yeah, right.” You were tired of this. “Alright. We’re both to far into this now for either one to back out without arousing any suspicion. So, we’ll split it.” You pressed the letter opener into his neck when he scoffed at you. “Or, I could just cut your throat now, tell those two gals you assaulted me, and keep it all to myself. Which would you prefer?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Fine.” He spat at you. You had the upper hand for now, but he could find a way to get rid of you eventually, he was sure. His face split in a grin suddenly. “Y’know, we should consummate our little agreement in some way. Make it official.” He moved his hands behind you and pressed you into him roughly, making you gasp when you felt him grind his erection into your hip. “I can make you feel better than that stupid bitch did.” He moved a hand up the inside of your thigh until he was cupping your heat through your panties, groaning when he found you soaked.
You bit your lip as he ran his fingers over the sopping fabric of your panties, teasing them against your throbbing clit. You kept the blade against his throat as you rocked into his hand, begging for more friction.
“You wanna consummate it?” You gave him a wicked grin as you slowly withdrew the letter opener, tutting softly as a thin line of blood rose from his skin when it left. “Get on your knees.”
He pouted at you, that wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for. You shook your head and brought the blade back up to his neck swiftly, with a click of your tongue.
“Look at that, already not holding up your end.” You scolded as he eyed you warily.
He just grumbled at you as he sank to his knees, digging his fingers into your thighs and drawing them apart slowly. He hooked his fingers underneath the sides of your panties and drew them slowly down your legs. You withdrew the blade from his neck and set it aside as he latched his palms under your hips and pulled you to the end of the desk, running his freshly shaven cheek over the smooth skin of your inner thigh and inhaling your scent.
You broke eye contact when you felt him breathe against your entrance, thrusting your hips forward to drive yourself into his mouth as his tongue flicked out to taste you. He dragged it over your slit in a heavy stripe that had you panting with need. You ran your fingers through Charles’ hair and gripped tightly, drawing him closer to you as he moaned against your core.
“Fuck.” You murmured as you fell back on your elbow, screwing your eyes shut as he thrust his tongue into you, curling it inside your canal. “Charles.”
His fingers were gripping your thighs so hard above your stockings you were sure there were going to be bruises tomorrow. His lips brushed softly against your folds as his tongue lapped up the evidence of your arousal greedily, making you moan.
You felt him release one thigh and bring his fingers to stroke over your slit as he disconnected his mouth to give you a wicked grin. “You need to be quiet, doll. All we need is you blowing the whole thing when I make you cum.” He plunged two fingers into you and curled them in a beckoning motion and you collapsed against the desk with a thud, writhing into his hand and whining softly.
You shoved your fist into your mouth and bit down on your knuckles when he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked gently, making your back arch off the desk. He chuckled as he felt you clench around his fingers and he increased the pressure on your tiny bud, sucking even harder as your body rolled underneath him.
“That’s right sweetheart, cum for me.” He curled his fingers one more time as he latched onto you and that was that. You sobbed into your hand as your spine curled, every muscle in your body going rigid for just a beat before you were trembling in bliss, your release gushing over Charles’ chin as he kept fucking his fingers into you while you rode it out.
“God, darling, that was something.” He grinned down at you as he rose to stand between your legs, watching you shiver as aftershocks wracked your body. You looked sinful with your skirt bunched around your waist and your cunt on full display. One of your stockings had come loose from your garter belt and was starting to slide down your thigh. “If we’re gonna have an even partnership though, I think you owe me something.”
He bent over you and pressed his mouth to yours possessively, shoving his tongue between your swollen lips and probing the warm cavern of your mouth as he wrapped one hand around the back of your neck. His other hand started traveling underneath your back, searching for the buttons to undo your dress.
“Alright, fuck this.” He withdrew his hand from beneath you and started fumbling it around the desk searching for something. You gasped into his mouth when you felt the cool silver of the letter opener press against your chest, but he just drew in down in a quick slash, tearing open your dress and the thin lace of your bra until your breasts were exposed.
Charles watched the rise and fall of your chest hungrily as he rose above you, wrenching his tie and jacket off before starting to undo the buttons of his shirt. You reached down to undo his belt and whipped it off through the loops before working on the buttons of his pants. He stepped back when you had finished your work to slip out of his shoes before sliding his slacks down his legs and tossing his shirt aside.
He started tracing his fingers over your thighs lightly as he stepped closer, nudging his tip against your pussy and making you whine. Charles just chuckled as he teased you, one of his thumbs rubbing right next to your slit before withdrawing it again.
“Maybe we should renegotiate, doll.” He pressed the head of his cock into you slowly before dragging it out again. “I bet you’d give me anything right now just to get me to fuck this sweet little cunt.”
“Fuck you, Blackwood.” You hissed at him before it devolved into a moan as he brought up a hand to palm at your breast and you felt the sensation echo in your core as you clenched around nothing.
He lined himself up and clapped his palm over your mouth before spearing into you violently. You screamed into his hand and felt tears leak down your cheeks as another orgasm ripped through you and your shuddered as he began to fuck into you like a madman.
“God, this pussy is so tight, doll. So fucking warm and ready for me.” He kept his hand over your mouth as he bent to trace a bead of sweat that was trailing through the valley of your breasts with his tongue, moaning at the salty taste of you before mouthing softly over the slope of one breast to lave his tongue over your nipple. He laughed against your skin as he felt you clamp around him, your hips thrusting to match his as you neared another release. “You gonna be quiet if I move my hand, darling?” You nodded and sucked in a ragged breath when he removed his hand.
His hand moved underneath your hips and tilted you just slightly as he buried his face in your neck, sucking softly at the hollow behind your ear. You dug your nails into the muscles of his back when he brought his hand between the two of you to rub his fingers against your clit.
“Shit, I’m gonna cum again.” You whispered, tossing your head back and arching into Charles as you felt a warm coil tightening in your stomach.
“Be quiet about it.” He hissed at you, pressing his cheek to yours as he continued rutting into you.
You dipped your head and sank your teeth into his shoulder as your pleasure took hold of you and you heard him swallow a shout as you fluttered around him, your legs holding him to you tightly.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He growled in your ear, bringing up one hand to brace himself against the desk and stare into your eyes. “God, I’m close, darling. You got one more for me?”
You smirked and shoved him off you roughly, making him stumble back and land heavily on the settee. You crawled into his lap and sank onto him with a hiss, grinding into him slowly before you started fucking yourself on his cock.
Charles leaned back and gripped your hips tightly, guiding you as you impaled yourself on his length over and over. You picked up the pace and he groaned as he watched your tits bounce with each thrust of his hips. You braced a hand on his chest as your eyes fluttered closed and you bit at your bruised lips. One more drive of his hips had you collapsing on top of him, your pussy strangling his cock as he fucked you through it. Your body rolled against him as he turned your head to kiss you deeply.
You felt his hips stutter and suddenly you were flooded with warmth as his seed shot into you, thick hot ropes of his spend filling you up and leaking out around his cock as he groaned into your mouth.
The two of you laid there for a bit, panting as you waited for your breathing to regulate. You were the first to move, standing over him and trying to think of some way to cover yourself long enough to make it to your room, eventually deciding to just pull the ruins of your dress over your shoulders and hope for the best. You smirked down at Charles as he started to sit up, his cock coated in a mix of your releases and his skin flushed. His perfectly coifed hair was now falling into his eyes in sweat-soaked curls as he gazed up at you through his thick lashes.
“I think this is the start of a pretty great partnership, darling.” You teased him over your shoulder as you headed back up to your room, leaving him to clean up the lounge on his own.
Not my gif
A/N: Surprise!! Our reader is a bad, bad girl! We’ll see what sort of other trouble she and Charles get up to!
#natalie writes#fanfic#fanfiction#charles blackwood#charles blackwood x reader#charles blackwood x you#charles blackwood x y/n#sebastian stan#sebastian stan smut#seb stan#we have always lived in the castle#twist ending#smut#seb stan smut#eighteen plus
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Daring - Chapter 3
This is the last chapter for Daring! If you haven't, read part one and two first 💛 This is just a very fluffy chapter with vanilla smut at the end (with love for all of you who got whiplash from my last fic).
CW for alcohol consumption, language, talk of loss/trauma, sex and SPOILER WARNING for Guillermo del Toro's The Shape of Water. I will spoil the ending for the movie here so if you want to watch it first and haven't yet, now's the time! Honestly, it's an amazing movie and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so lmk if you have ~thoughts~
Chapter 3 - Home
The days until Thursday went just as excruciatingly slow as the days before your first date had. The only difference was that now you knew what to expect. Or did you? You knew she liked you, too. Wanted you, too. She had told you every night on the phone. Every day after you finished at work you waited patiently for Abby to get off her shift, too. She was on day shifts at the moment, usually from 6 am to 4 pm, but more often than not it took a few hours longer.
Abby was very kind with her patients, often taking people back home from the hospital or helping them get accommodated in their hospital rooms. It cost her a lot of time, but when she told you how grateful they all were you could hear how much she cared.
“I’m telling you Y/N, she actually cried in my arms. This poor old lady, I think she must have been over 80. She could barely raise her arms to put on the gown, the fall had stunned her pretty bad.”
You and Abby were cooking on FaceTime, or rather you were pouring yourself some cereal and Abby was making pasta with fresh tomatoes and herbs. You wished you were there.
“I hope she recovers fast,” you said, pouring in the milk. “It must be awful, being away from home in that state.”
“Yeah,” Abby sighed, “but she luckily didn’t break anything. It’s horrible though, the way elderly people bruise. She is going to have every single step of those stairs visible on her torso for at least a week.”
You took your phone and bowl, using your elbow to open the door to your room. Leah winked at you from the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth and water dripping from her hair. She was going out with Nora and Jordan, seeing some action movie.
“You’re incredible for taking the time to help her. Did she really have no one else?”
Abby sprinkled some basil into her pasta sauce.
“I don’t think so. She was pretty confused, but she said her daughter lives in New York and she didn’t want me to call her. I’m gonna check on her tomorrow when I have a minute between calls.”
“Oh speaking of…” You leaned back against your headboard and propped up your phone against your thigh, staring into your bowl. “Are we still on tomorrow?”
Abby laughed quietly.
“Baby, I’ve been counting the hours. I can’t wait.” You felt a pull in your stomach at the name. She had never called you baby before. Looking at her, you could see she was trying to hide her nervousness. You smiled at her.
“When can I come over?”
“I hope I get off at 5 and they don’t rope me into an emergency in the last minute of my shift. I’ll just call you as soon as I head out and you can come over straight away. I’ll buy all the groceries we need tonight.”
“Hey, I can -” you protested, but Abby cut you off.
“No, you just grace me with your presence, that’s enough. You don’t know the exact ingredients anyway.”
You smiled and finished your cereal. You couldn’t wait.
-
Abby called you at 6 pm, still sitting in the passenger seat of the ambulance.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t call sooner.” Little strands of hair had fallen out of her braid and framed her face, some of them looking damp with sweat. There was a flush on her face and dark circles loomed under her eyes. You felt just a little bit guilty, having stayed up with her on facetime until after midnight the night before.
“Don’t worry, I’m not the one working extra hours. How was your shift?”
“Honestly? Terrible.” You knew Abby was not one to complain, so that really had to mean something. You saw her sway in the seat as the ambulance pulled into the garage and finally came to a halt. “I’ll tell you about it later, okay? I’ll be home in half an hour, so just come over whenever you want. I’ll leave the front door unlocked in case I’m still in the shower.”
A prickle went over your skin at the thought, but you quickly pushed it away. Abby was obviously exhausted, this was not the time to imagine her and you in a shower.
“Are you sure you really want to cook? We could just order takeout and call it a night.”
Abby considered it for a moment. It had to have been the worst day. She quickly spoke to the person next to her in the driver’s seat, then you heard the car door being shut. Abby looked back at you.
“Abby. Let me take care of you.” Your voice was soft. You wished you could brush the loose strands of hair behind her ear. The blonde sighed and unfastened her seatbelt.
“Just come over, okay? We can decide then. I just want you with me.”
You jumped up and grabbed the bag you had already prepared for sleeping over, a bottle of Merlot on top of your clothes.
“I’m on my way. I can’t wait to see you,” you said as you struggled to put on your shoes with one hand.
“See you soon,” Abby smiled and ended the call.
You called out a goodbye to Leah and she yelled back “Go get her!” Smiling to yourself, you closed the door behind you and rushed to the train station.
Sitting in the uncomfortable plastic seat of the train, you couldn’t help but grow more and more nervous, just like the last time. But this time was different, you reminded yourself. This time you could make your way straight into Abby’s arms, straight to her lips. You secretly checked your breath in your hand. The train arrived both too quickly and not fast enough.
After knocking at the front door twice without any answer, you made your way inside the house. Abby had told you to just come in, but you felt like an intruder nonetheless. Where could you wait without taking up space that wasn’t hers? You didn’t want to be sitting there like a movie villain when she came down. You called out but there was no answer, only the bass of a rock song playing upstairs and the sound of water rushing through pipes in the wall.
Deciding to make your presence as visible as possible, you dropped your bag on the stairs and took the bottle of the wine to the kitchen. Abby’s heavy paramedic jacket was thrown over a chair and her keys were on the table. An empty glass was standing next to them, water droplets running down on the outside and leaving a wet ring on the wooden surface. You picked it up and placed it in the sink, drying the spot with a tea towel. Then you took out two wine glasses from the cupboard you had put them into after cleaning up the last time and put them on the counter. You leaned against it, wondering what you should do now.
Thankfully, you heard the water shut off upstairs and a few seconds later there was the soft thump of naked heels on tile floor. You decided just to wait until Abby came down. It only took two minutes, then you heard her on the stairs. She slowed when she reached the bottom, probably noticing your bag.
“Y/N?” Her voice was light, but there was excitement in it, carefully restrained.
“I’m in the kitchen!” You suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands and reached for the bottle, then realized you didn’t have an opener and you probably wouldn’t be able to use one either. You let your arms drop to your side and Abby entered the kitchen, stopping a few steps from you.
She looked beautiful. She was wearing a light grey cutoff shirt and dark navy sweatpants. Her hair was still wet and hung loosely over her shoulders, darkening the cotton where it touched the fabric. Her face was still tired and her shoulders slumped slightly, but her eyes had lit up at the sight of you.
“You’re here!” She held out her hands, still not moving from her spot.
You closed the distance and threw your arms around her, burying your face in her neck.
“I’m here,” you mumbled and Abby’s arms closed around you, encasing you completely. She smelled wonderful, moisture still evaporating from her skin and warmth spreading from her body to yours where you touched. Your excitement didn’t falter, but your nervousness did. A wave of calm came over you. You were here.
“I’m sorry your day was so terrible,” you murmured, lips brushing the skin of Abby’s throat just above the neckline of her shirt. “Wanna spend the rest of it on the couch?”
Her upper body fell forward into you and her forehead came to rest on your shoulder. She nodded and you gave her waist a gentle squeeze before drawing back, resting your foreheads together and cradling her cheek with your hand.
“Come on, then. Let’s order you some food. I brought wine as well if you want some.”
Abby sighed.
“I’d love some.”
You wanted to step aside and take the glasses to the living room but Abby’s arms around you tightened and the corner of her mouth lifted.
“You’re an angel,” she whispered. And then she kissed you.
It was sweet, gentle, and tired, her lips soft and warm. You melted into her, both of you clinging to each other for a moment until Abby pulled away smiling. She took the bottle of wine and rummaged through a drawer for the opener. You held the glasses and watched her open the bottle, brows knit together and her tongue peeking out between her lips. It was both adorable and incredibly hot. You sat down on the large sofa together and Abby poured both of you a generous amount, then you clinked glasses and the blonde stole another kiss.
“Alright,” you unlocked your phone, “what are you craving?”
Abby gave you an amused look before she let her head fall back on the sofa cushion and thought for a second.
“Do you like Mexican food? Burritos?”
“Love it,” you said, searching for the closest restaurant and checking their website for delivery service. Abby just hummed in approval when she saw which one you had picked out. You placed the order together, Abby’s right hand never releasing yours as she clumsily used her left to pick her food. When the order was sent, you threw your phone to the foot of the sofa.
“So,” you said, turning to your side in order to get a better look at the blonde. “Wanna tell me about work?”
Abby sighed and opened her arm for you to crawl into. You gladly scooted closer, resting your head on her shoulder and throwing an arm over her stomach. When she spoke, you could feel the thrum of her voice in her chest.
“I went in early to check on the old lady who fell yesterday and found out she’d fallen again last night. She hadn’t told anyone because she was embarrassed, but I could tell something was wrong. Turns out her arm was broken in three places. I had them call her daughter even though she begged me not to bother her. I don’t know what her daughter is like, but I hope she takes care of her.”
You hummed and pushed yourself even closer to Abby’s side.
“After that, we had a call because of a domestic violence case. The police were there already, it was horrible.”
She rubbed a hand over her face and you pressed a kiss to her collarbone.
“After that, we had to go straight to another family dispute that ended in someone being stabbed with a steak knife. We got them to the hospital fast enough and it all went well in the end but I just hate cases that revolve around psychological trauma as well. All those family issues… I hate it.”
You could only imagine how horrible this must be for her after what had happened to her dad. Though you still didn’t know the whole story and you could probably find out easily by googling her name, you didn’t want to feel like an intruder in her past. She would tell you when she was ready.
“I’m glad you’re telling me about it,” you said, trying to sound firm and gentle at the same time.
Abby let out a little huff that sounded slightly surprised.
“Yeah, I don’t usually do that. Normally I would have just shoved all that into the back of my mind and tried to make this evening go perfect. Not that I don’t want to put in the effort with you-”
“I know,” you interrupted her, raising your head to smile at her, noses brushing against each other. “I think this is perfect. You are.”
You moved in for a kiss and Abby placed a hand on the back of your head, holding you gently as your lips touched. She deepened the kiss soon, breath going a little faster as her arms pulled you even closer. You threw your leg over her thigh, half on top of her now. Her tongue was smooth and hot against yours and when her teeth scraped over your bottom lip, you let out a whimper that she caught in another kiss. Feeling bold, you finally moved on top of Abby, straddling her thigh and placing your hands left and right of her flushed face. You rolled your hips forward and she made a guttural sound, low and hungry.
Her hands were all over you, pressing between your shoulder blades, wrapping around your waist, grabbing your hips to make you grind forward again, then finally cupping your ass and digging her fingers into the muscle. You stopped trying to keep yourself from panting and leaned forward to kiss Abby’s jaw, then the soft spot beneath her earlobe. She drew up her leg behind you, pressing her thigh between your legs, and you whimpered into her ear.
“Abby,” you whispered, “what are you doing to me?”
“Anything you want,” she murmured against your cheek, “anything, baby.”
You could hear your pulse drumming in your ears as you kissed the blonde fiercely, then moved your lips over that chiseled jaw again before biting the delicate skin of her throat. You dragged your tongue over her pulse point, actually feeling the beat of her heart fluttering against your sensitive nerve endings. She smelled intoxicating, warm, and earthy, and it made you want to take her in completely, to drown in her and never come to the surface again.
Her hands were on your hips again, guiding them against hers as she let out another low moan, lips parted and pupils blown as she looked at you with a mixture of amazement and pure, burning desire. You let your hands wander down her torso, trailing your fingers along the hem of her shirt and slipping them underneath. Abby’s skin was radiating heat, her stomach flexing beneath your touch.
“May I?” You asked, your voice breathless. Abby just nodded, lifting her arms over her head and arching her back so you could push the fabric up, revealing her broad frame, toned abs, and a black sports bra. You threw the shirt to the side and fell back onto her, your chests pressing together as you enveloped her in another heated kiss. You ground down against her thigh, the seam of your jeans pressing against all the right places. Abby’s hands were on your back again, broad and warm and reassuring.
You stayed like that for a while, melting into each other, catching the other’s breath, and trying to move in ways that would get the other to moan even though you were both still shy and careful about making noise. Abby twisted her pelvis ever so slightly so you could keep riding her thigh and hit her hipbone at the front of every movement. You responded by pulling her damp hair and making her hiss before she pulled you in and kissed you fiercely.
“God, Abby…” Heat was pooling at the bottom of your stomach and there was a sudden, almost painful sensitivity to your core. Pleasure had sneaked up on you without you noticing, completely surprising you with its intensity as Abby rolled her hips upward and you had no choice but to cry out. There was a hunger in her eyes, a triumphant glint and she held your face gently with one hand while the other was tight around your hip, guiding your movements against her and pressing into your flesh.
“Fuck, Abby, fuck, I’m so -” She swallowed your whimpers with another searing kiss, her tongue pressing into your mouth and her thumb stroking your cheek.
“Come on, baby, you’re so good, so beautiful, baby,” Abby mumbled against your lips, followed by more sweet compliments and hot kisses, her eyes always on yours. You found the perfect angle at last and dug your fingers into her shoulder, your moans going high and fast as you pressed your forehead to hers. She placed a last gentle kiss on your lips and you came undone on top of her. Her hands caught you easily, stroking you through your high, her lips caressing every inch of your face. Her skin was warm beneath you and slightly sweaty. You licked a small stripe up the side of her throat and kissed her jaw.
Abby pulled back just an inch to get a better look at your face, running her hands through your hair and over your cheeks, then down your shoulders and coming to rest around your waist.
“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known,” she said quietly and with a blissful smile. “An angel.”
Her gaze was so piercing, so raw and knowing that you suddenly had the urge to bury your face in your hands, to hide from this infinite feeling inside of you that you could see in Abby’s eyes as well. You forced yourself to hold her gaze and reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face.
“I’ve never… this has never happened to me before,” you confessed softly. “You are doing things to me I never even dreamed of.”
Abby chuckled at that and caught your hand, kissing every knuckle and then the inside of your palm.
“We fit well, don’t we?” It was cautious, a step forward with no weight on it yet, a hand on a door handle.
“We do.” You grinned at her, and maybe it was the rush of the high that still hadn’t faded or a rare wave of courage, but you decided to rip open that door from the other side. You sat up and placed a hand on her sternum, feeling her heart thrum beneath your palm.
“Abby, I want to be with you. I’ve wanted to for a long time. You don’t have to have an answer right now, but just know that I’m already yours, no matter what.”
For a moment, Abby didn’t seem to fully comprehend. Then she frowned, the smile not fully leaving her lips but turning bittersweet. You felt your stomach drop. Had you spoken too soon?
“Y/N.” Abby’s hand covered yours on her chest. “I’d love nothing more.” A weight fell off your shoulders. Abby wasn’t done talking yet.
“I’m a difficult person to… be with. I’ve really put in all I had with you so far, but there are times when I will be cold and closed off and I won’t be able to let you in, to let anyone in. I don’t know if I could hurt you like that.” She squeezed your hand now, her eyes glossy. “I’m not saying this because I’m scared or unsure, I’m saying this to give you an out. Or at least some more time to really get to know what it’s like with me in your life. I can be exhausting. At least that’s what I’m told.”
You felt something hot flare up in your throat. That was not fair.
“Who told you that?”
“Owen. I mean, he’s the only person who knows what it’s like being with me and he certainly didn’t like it very much.” Even with her broad shoulders, her set jaw, all her muscles, she looked strangely small now. You felt like you were going to burst with rage.
“Abby, do you honestly think an ex’s opinion of you counts? To me? I don’t give a shit what Owen thinks because I’m not him and this is not the same thing. I get to decide what it’s like and so far it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” You placed both your hands on her cheeks and leaned forward. “Babe, stop trying to deny yourself happiness. You deserve to be happy. And if I make you happy, if you’ll have me, I’m yours.”
Abby sat up straight, her face now directly in front of yours, and wrapped her arms around you tightly. She blinked the tears away, a smile beginning to tug on her lips.
“You’re mine?”
“Only yours.”
She kissed you and you could feel her grin against your mouth, smooth teeth softly clicking against yours.
“Mine,” she mumbled and began trailing kisses down your throat, hands now wandering down your back and under your t-shirt where they immediately provoked goosebumps to spread over your entire body. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Both of you pulled back with surprised faces.
“The food!” you realized and you had to laugh as you scrambled to get up from the couch. You had almost forgotten how hungry you were. Abby quickly pulled on her shirt, grabbed her wallet, and opened the door, hair wild and her lips still red and swollen. You hovered in the background, probably looking just as disheveled, and tried not to giggle like an idiot.
The delivery guy took one look at you and just gave Abby an amused smirk as he handed her the food. She tipped him generously and thanked him before closing the door and turning to you, both of you frozen in your spots for a second. Then you both burst out in laughter. Abby was next to you in three strides and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before you let yourself flop down on the sofa together. Abby had ordered two large burritos, you had chosen a vegetarian taco bowl and a big bag of tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole. While you unpacked all the food and laid it out on the coffee table, Abby turned on the TV and scrolled through the movie options.
After some looking around, you decided to watch The Shape of Water, which you hadn’t seen yet despite being a big Guillermo del Toro fan. You ate in silence, letting the film pull you into a cold war era story of a mute woman, her gay best friend, and a strange fish-human being in the facility she was a cleaner at. You generally avoided watching more artistic, less Hollywood-typical movies with other people in fear of them constantly ridiculing the story to hide their own discomfort with monsters, but Abby was just as immersed in the story as you were. Sally Hawkins was a fantastic actress and the amphibian man was beautifully designed and a fascinating character. Del Toro’s handwriting was all over the film - beautiful colors and cinematography, fairytale monsters next to very human, real-life ones, the fear of the Other and the idea that maybe if one just dares to look beyond, the Other may have a story to tell and love to give.
When you had finished your food, you snuggled up to Abby, occasionally feeding her chips with guacamole and kissing the salt from her lips. During the final scenes when the shooting happened, Abby tensed up next to you. You hadn’t even thought about movies possibly triggering her or making her uncomfortable. Fuck, you should have looked it up beforehand. Now all you could do was press your temple to her collarbone and wrap your arms around her as tightly as possible.
“Do you want to turn it off?” You mumbled, your thumb drawing circles on her ribcage. You could feel Abby shake her head.
“It’s okay, I’m used to it by now. The movie is almost over anyway.” She pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled you close. The ending was beautiful and heart-wrenching and you shed a few tears, staining Abby’s shirt. She just smiled and kissed the tears from your cheeks.
“Did you like it?” You asked tentatively, not sure if the shooting may have ruined it for Abby.
“I loved it.” Her expression was warm. “That scene in which she talks about the way he sees her without any of her flaws, just her, and how her fight for his life is what makes her human was beautiful.”
“And then in the end she wasn’t human after all,” you added, “I’ve never really seen it that way around. Usually, the beast turns into a prince at the end. I always hate that. Why can’t the monster stay a monster after having proven their love and their honor and whatever else is needed to redeem them, you know?”
Abby thought about that for a moment, her eyes going unfocused.
“That’s true. In so many stories, all the things that make the monster monstrous are stripped away as soon as they have proven their worth and found true love. It doesn’t work like that in real life. We all have things inside that could deem us monsters and it’s only when we hope to have found love that we can dare to reveal them and hope the other person loves us anyway.”
Something warm spread inside you, reaching out to every corner of your body, every toe and every fingertip. You leaned in and kissed her gently.
“The silver plate.”
Abby looked confused for a second, then she remembered the things she had said during your last date.
“Yeah, my own monstrous silver plate.” She smiled. “Scared?”
“Not at all,” you grinned and climbed on top of her. “I’ll devour you.”
You pressed your lips to hers her and it quickly turned into another heated makeout session. Your limbs were tangled together and her hands roamed your body as you kissed her neck and when she finally asked: “can I?” you almost knocked your head against her jaw trying to sit up so she could take off your shirt.
Sitting up on her hips, you dragged your nail from her ear to the hem of her shirt, scratching the skin and making her hiss, eyes burning.
“Want to show me your bedroom?” you asked, trying not to lose your focus at the feeling of her hands wandering up your thighs. You yelped as Abby sat and stood up in one swift motion, arms secure around your waist and thighs so you’d stay pressed to her chest. You wrapped your legs around her and laughed into her mouth before she kissed you again.
The tall blonde carried you up the stairs like it was nothing, making soft noises when you bit into the soft skin just below her jaw.
“Y/N…” She kicked open a door and didn’t give you any time to look around, crawling on the bed and trapping you under her large body, attacking you with kisses, all teeth and tongue. It was glorious.
You pulled on Abby’s shirt until she grunted and took it off herself, then her hands were trailing the skin above the waistband of your jeans. More, more, more.
“Can I take those off?” Abby asked, sitting back on her knees between your legs.
“Please,” you whimpered, lifting your hips for better access, but Abby had other plans. She let her hands wander over your upper body, her fingers teasing your nipples over the thin fabric of your bralette, then softly tickling your stomach on their way down. Finally, she opened the button of your jeans and slowly opened the zipper, her eyes flickering up to your face and back down to her hands.
“Come ooon,” you begged, “please, Abby.”
There was the hint of a smirk on her lips, but she complied and pulled off your jeans, both of you laughing as they caught around your ankles and Abby had to wrestle them off. Then Abby’s hand was on your foot and she held it in place on her shoulder, slowly kissing her way up your leg. Your breath got faster with every inch she came closer to your heated center, that place that had gotten a taste of what was to come and wanted more. She dragged her lips over your clothed core and your legs trembled, a gasp escaping you.
Abby took her time with you, kissing your stomach and chest before taking off your bralette and teasing your nipples with a gentle tongue and fluttering fingers. You were squirming beneath her, a mess of pleasure and want for more, begging her to touch you. Finally, she sat back up and hooked her fingers under the waistband of your panties, keeping eye contact and pulling them down slowly. Her gaze was burning, pupils wide, lips hanging open and breath going in shallow pants.
Her tongue was heaven, it was heat and silk and everything at once, enveloping you in waves of ecstasy and making you moan and bury your hands in her hair. She was gentle, cleaning up the mess you had made earlier and the one just now, broad tongue and small circles sending your hips up to meet her, her fingers around your thighs too far away.
“Abby, please…” you gasped and she looked up to meet your gaze. You melted inside.
“What do you want, baby?” Her voice was deep and husked, lips shining with your juices.
“Your fingers.” You gave her hand a light push downward and with a smile, she complied.
If you had thought you had already reached the pinnacle of pleasure, the best there was, you had been oh so wrong. Abby’s fingers were magical, teasing you and filling you up, stroking against that tender spot inside you, then slowing down as her tongue made you see stars, complying when you begged her for more, faster, harder. Your legs hadn’t stopped shaking in what felt like forever, your fingers were cramped into Abby’s beautiful blonde mane and you were crying out her name over and over again as she brought you to your peak, guiding you through it and moaning along with you as your juices covered her fingers and her tongue.
When she finally crawled back up to meet you, her arms were shaking slightly and her face was flushed. You still felt like you were somewhere far away, but her smile pulled you back to the present. She kissed you, letting you taste yourself on her tongue. Slowly, you let your hand wander down and play with the seam of her sweatpants and the hem of her boxers peeking out underneath.
“Wanna take these off?” you mumbled in her ear and you could see she was trying to keep her composure as she tried to get out of her pants as fast as possible before coming back to you. She stopped and looked unsure suddenly.
“Is it okay if I keep these on for now?” She gestured to her sports bra and underwear.
“Of course, baby. Can I touch you?” You whispered, one hand on the back of her neck as the other wandered lower. Abby nodded and kissed you again.
“Yes, please,” she whispered back. You slid your hand into her boxers and were greeted by wet heat, desire practically pooling in your palm. Both of you gasped at the same time, eyes flying open to meet each other’s, bodies grinding together.
“Fuck baby, you’re so wet,” you cooed and watched Abby dissolve in front of you, blood shooting into her cheeks before she buried her face in your neck and began leaving lovebites on your throat. You dragged your fingers between her folds, relishing in the tiny noises she made whenever you touched her clit or came near her entrance.
You put all your strength into throwing Abby to the side and rolling on top of her, hand never leaving her center. She laughed in surprise and grabbed the back of your neck to pull you in, and at that moment you slid a finger inside her. Her eyes went wide and the noise she made would visit your dreams for the rest of your days. You kept your lips wandering over her throat and back to her lips, pulling moan after moan from her with your fingers, gently pushing inside her and curling upward, your thumb drawing circles on her clit. After a while, you could see her abs flexing as her core convulsed rhythmically, her moans getting higher and breathless, her fingers digging into your waist.
“Will you come for me, Abby?” you whispered and kissed her again. Her hips bucked up into your hand and she made a strangled noise, then her legs clamped together around your fingers and she sighed, tongue darting out to brush against yours as you slowly pulled your hand from her sensitive core.
You threw your thigh over her hips and pressed your face into the crook of her neck, giving her time to breathe as you drew patterns on her bare stomach with your fingers.
“Baby…” she mumbled above you, voice vibrating through her chest. “That was… I don’t even have words.”
You grinned up at her and she brushed your hair behind your ear. Her gaze was full of love and adoration, like sunlight warming your skin, soft fingertips caressing your cheeks.
“I’ve never felt so safe,” you said, resting your head on her shoulder so you could look at her. “You’re so careful.”
Abby smiled and followed the path of your fingers with her eyes.
“I’ve had other experiences in the past that made me realize how important it is to always check on your partner.” She looked down at her clothed hips. “Thank you for… not making this weird. I’m just… one step at a time.”
“Of course, baby.” You moved your lips closer to her ear. “I think it’s really fucking hot, you between my legs in those boxers, all muscles and freckles. But then when I touch you, you’re so needy, just a wet mess, coming on my fingers in your underwear.”
Abby let out a shaky breath, chest trembling at your words. She laced her fingers between yours and pressed them to her sternum.
“You leave me speechless every time,” she said, voice quiet and content.
“I love it.” You pulled the blanket up with your foot and covered both of your bodies up to your hips, yawning into her shoulder. Abby chuckled quietly.
“Do you need to set an alarm for tomorrow?” She reached over to the bedside table, then let her arm drop. “Our phones are still downstairs.”
You groaned and rolled onto your back before blinking up at Abby innocently, hoping she would go and get them. She just laughed and got up, stretching her arms and making the muscles on her back dance beautifully.
“You need to go pee,” she said with raised eyebrows. You sighed and lazily rolled out of bed, pulling the blanket up around you.
Abby showed you the bathroom across the hall and made her way down the stairs, a bounce in her step. You could hear her clean up the takeout containers and throw away the trash in the kitchen. Suddenly there was a noise outside, a deep voice and the jingle of keys at the door. You froze with the towel in your hands. The front door opened and Manny tried to stay quiet in that completely ineffective way most men do, dropping his shoes with loud thumps and whispering into his phone so loudly you could hear every word.
“Hi, Manny,” Abby said in the hallway. Keys dropped to the floor with a clunk.
“Dios mio! What the hell are you doing sneaking around here, Abby? You just get back from the gym?” You could hear her laugh quietly as he tried to catch his breath.
“I could ask you the same. Weren’t you supposed to come back tomorrow?”
You snuck back into her bedroom on tiptoes, wrapping the blanket around you tightly and staying near the door to hear the conversation downstairs.
“Had to go early, my dad had a hot date tonight.” You could actually hear his grin.
“Yeah, well, me too.” Abby’s voice was dry, but you could tell she wasn’t actually annoyed.
“Really? Y/N? How'd it go?” A pause, then another loud whisper - “holy shit, she still here?
“Y/N, Manny’s home!” Abby’s raised voice rang through the house. You grinned. She knew you were listening.
“Hi, Manny!” You looked around for any clothes you could throw on quickly but came up empty. Sighing, you checked your blanket placement and went to the top of the stairs, looking down at Manny and Abby in the entrance hall.
Abby was still just in her sports bra and boxer shorts but didn’t seem to mind at all. Manny wore sweatpants and a green sweater, along with a hat that said women want me, fish fear me. Behind him were two large bags, one of them clearly full of fishing equipment. His smile lit the room.
“Hi Y/N, nice seeing you here. You two have a good night?”
You nodded and he made a knowing ah-ha sound. Abby elbowed him and red spots formed on her neck.
“Well, I’m gonna eat something and pass out. Breakfast tomorrow?” He threw a hopeful look in Abby’s direction. “When does your shift start?”
“Noon, I get late shift for the next two weeks. Y/N, what about you?” Both of them looked up at you and you shifted your weight, very aware of the way you looked right now.
“I just need to study, I can sleep in for once.”
Abby nodded and patted Manny’s shoulder.
“Breakfast at 10.”
She came up the stairs, taking two steps at a time and grinning from ear to ear. Manny vanished into the kitchen, continuing to scream-whisper into his phone. You made out the words “finally… girl is here” before Abby simply picked you up and carried you back to bed, kicking the door closed behind her.
You snuggled up together and Abby stroked your hair while she told you about her friendship with Manny and how glad she was to have him. He had been there for her through everything and he had wanted her to make a move and ask you out for weeks. You felt yourself drift away slowly.
“I’m so glad I’m here,” you mumbled, hand stroking Abby’s chest.
“Me too, baby. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine.” The bliss in her voice was the same you felt in your heart.
“Finally.” You craned your neck for a last kiss and melted beneath Abby’s soft lips and warm hands.
She held you wrapped tightly in her arms, almost as if she was scared you could vanish in the night. As if you'd ever leave her now. The last thing you thought before falling asleep was that you were finally home.
-
Author's note: Have you seen The Shape of Water? Did you like it? Let me know here 💌 If you'd like to support me, you can buy me a coffee here 🤎
#abby anderson#abby tlou2#abby tlou#abby the last of us#the last us 2#tlou abby#leah#leah tlou#abby anderson fanfiction#smut#fluff
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Things That Remind Me Of The Fem Losers
Stan:
keeping the little bags of extra buttons that come with cardigans, tea kept in metal canisters, knee length skirts, neatly organized bullet journals with broken spines, inheriting your late grandfather’s sweater collection, treating a friendship bracelet like it’s a sacred promise, keeping a pocket knife on your keychain (just in case), getting girl scout campfire songs stuck in your head as an adult, buying books that will look nice on your shelf but only ever reading the same three over and over again, just adding more water to a tea cup long after the tea bag has run out of flavor, double knotting your shoelaces, attending a renaissance faire in character, getting called an old soul as a child, watching your friends do something stupid that you encouraged, ballet slippers with the canvas worn through the toes, being the friend people’s parents compare them too, saying you speak french years after you last took it in high school, giving up your dreams once you get to college and calling it practical, last dances at a wedding after all the guests have left, morning coffees that are practically just milk and sugar, hand sanitizer cracked knuckles, light pink wrap cardigans over black leotards
Eddie:
shirley temples, sharp elbows, poking bruises, mittens when you wish you were wearing gloves, motor oil under your nails, resetting an animal crossing island after hundreds of hours of work every few months, denim jackets with too many pins, ordering the same thing every time at a restaurant because you’re scared you won’t like something new, your mother making you wear a winter coat over your halloween costume, wanting a motorcycle, being terrified of motorcycles, telling everyone the hairdresser cut your hair too short when really you asked for it, putting headphones in when a homeless person gets on your subway car, licking a candy cane into a point, yelling at movies, not getting told about surprise parties because you’d accidentally spoil them, falling ass over tea kettle doing hurdles at a track meet, cherry red tongues, ice cream cones melting down your wrist, the click of an empty inhaler when you still can’t breathe, a quiet sort of care, stealing your friend’s clothes
Mike:
warm hands getting too hot around a diner hot chocolate, hugs where the other person picks you up off the ground and your back cracks, lying about being sick well past the point of being caught, sourdough starters, a family recipe never getting written down because everyone already knows it, calling every dog a puppy no matter it’s age, making birthday posts on your main instagram instead of your story, bad historical reenactments your dad drags you to, buying new yarn without a plan for it, collecting old photos to make up stories about the people in them, talking to your houseplants so they grow better, mom jeans with the legs pushed up above your calves, cleric mains, tree sappy fingers, patterned socks only you know about, hot apple cider, feeding stray cats, crying when bambi’s mom dies every time, scrunchies over hair ties, stealing your friend’s college sweatshirts, the teacher whose classroom everyone eats lunch in, making too much food for one person, going to a museum all alone and staying from open to close
Ben:
facts off snapple caps, annotating poetry you don’t understand, wanting to be called pretty, only getting called cute, being a math and a english kid, the intimacy of someone else knowing your coffee order, sweatshirts over dresses, leggings under skirts, a little girl going through her titanic phase, a little girl going through her greek mythology phase, a little girl going through her radium girls phase, apologizing all night the first time you get drunk, crying in the bathroom during homecoming, soft southern accents, staring into the bowl of the toilet at two in the morning, making breakfast in bed for someone else, cabins in the woods, evergreen trees, bringing enough for the whole class but forgetting to count yourself, falling asleep at the library, kissing the knuckles of someone you love, hating the cold but always giving up your jacket
Richie:
jokes on popsicle sticks, hangnails, greenstick fractures, concert tickets kept at the bottom of bags until they’re so creased you can’t read the band name, instruments you swore you would learn to play gathering dust in the corner of your bedroom, comic book paper cuts, making friendship bracelets off the handle of a water bottle, never having had your first kiss, refusing to put a band-aid on a skinned knee, illegal firecrackers, giving into peer pressure, leaky earbuds and loud music, sharing sleeping bags at sleepovers, talking to babies like grown adults, hating how flattered you get when a man catcalls you, spinning on your dad’s desk chair until you’re dizzy, listening to a podcast while you cry in the shower, orange rinds getting hard on a bedside table, blue raspberry tongues, trying to shut up and saying too much instead, red bull cans rattling around the passenger side of your first car, brushed out curly hair, skirts that billow out when you spin, calculator watches, spending your allowance all at once
Beverly:
bubble gum ice cream, licking off chapstick just as you put it on, uneven and mismatched barrettes, rings that turn your fingers green, taking a subway until the end of the line, realizing too late that pushing away friends isn’t safer it’s just lonely, pocket sewing kits, digging through the discount jewelry bin at thrift store for hours and leaving with nothing, jeans with holes in the knees, going to a concert just so you have an excuse to scream until your voice is hoarse, dip dying your hair in kool-aid, embroidering little hearts on the inside cuffs of your partner’s sweatshirts, kissing on the first date but being scared to hold hands, starbucks frappuccinos so sweet the sugar grits between your teeth, glue gun burned finger tips, never crying about the right thing, platform mary-janes, always wanting to be the big spoon but ending up the little spoon, fairy lights and led lights in the same room, a skirt over jeans, buying crystals but not believing in them, making increasingly unpractical earrings, low top converse, soft sweaters
Bill:
running through the snow to get in a hot tub, a friend braiding your hair without asking, saying you don’t want kids because you're terrified of doing something wrong, giving up your popsicle when someone else’s breaks, accidentally acquiring a closet full of the same exact outfit with only slight variations, a messy bun just held up by a pencil, chopping vegetables instead of crying, splitting something unevenly on purpose and then feeling bad and giving the other person the bigger piece anyway, bikini tops and board shorts, dunkin’ donuts black coffee, parting your hair across your forehead and hoping people think you have bangs, sitting with a warm drink at a window and watching the snow fall, accidently getting paint on your favorite jeans, never getting better at mario kart, watching carrie even though your mom said you were too young for it, crying on christmas, forgetting you lit a candle, high top converse, a star pitcher who can’t bat for shit, unsorted colored pencils, being the last to know gossip but always telling your friends like it’s new, hugs where someone cups the back of your head, a hyper realistic eye drawn on your desk in math class
#as a general warning#theyre the losers#so they are sad.#but I love them#the losers club#fem losers club#long post.
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on paper.
Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader a joyful future fic
a/n: this is one that i’ve been so excited to share with you, and it goes quite nicely with the other piece i’m planning on posting later in the week! there’s a graphic in this one, with alternative text under the tag list for those who may need/want it. this one takes place in au!2017.
words: 2.2k warnings: none!
summary: “there is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.” - washington irving
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!
The day before your birthday is more than a little strange. There’s something in the air, almost buzzing, as you go about your day. Aaron and Jack are fidgety, and you only hope they aren’t planning something ridiculous like a surprise party.
Nevertheless, normal life must continue, fidgety boys or not.
At the moment, you’re picking up a couple of things on the way home from soccer practice with Aaron, Jack, and Isaac in tow. For the time being, you’re alone as Aaron takes Isaac and distracts Jack with the threat of junk food. It’s really the only way you can get everything you need.
There’s a toddler sitting in a cart, waiting for her father as he studies the wall of cheese. She drops her toy and you scoop it up, bopping her on the nose with it before putting it back in her lap.
“There you go, sweetheart. Don’t want to lose that.”
She laughs, and her father turns around, getting his bearings before dropping his shoulders in relief. “Thanks. That could have easily been a crisis.”
You wave him off. “No problem. I get it, trust me.”
“D’you have kids?”
With a laugh, you nod. “I do. Two boys. My little one is about her age and my oldest is almost a teenager - it’s a little scary sometimes.”
What you don’t see is Aaron, who heard everything, approaching you from behind. You never differentiate the boys - in fact, Aaron’s not sure if he’s ever heard you refer to Jack as anything other than your son.
Never stepson, never your boyfriend’s or fiance’s or husband’s son.
Your son.
His eavesdropping soothes something in him, confirming what he already knows, but it doesn’t erase all of the anxiety. Or is it anticipation? He’s not sure.
Only tomorrow will tell.
+++
When you wake up, you’re confused.
Sunlight streams in through the window and Aaron’s side of the bed is neatly made and cold. As you open your bleary eyes further, you hear a pair of feet patter down the hallway and return with two larger ones.
Jack and Aaron cross the threshold of the bedroom with a breakfast fit for a king. All your favorites, carefully arranged on a tray. You pull yourself up as Aaron kicks the little feet out at the bottom and sets it over your legs.
“Breakfast for the birthday girl,” he says, almost in a sing-song. It’s a brush out of character, but you know he lets his inherent need for whimsey get the better of him when the situation calls for it.
Jack follows his father, carrying Isaac just like you taught him.
You pick the mug up off the tray and hold it between your hands, letting it warm you. “Boys, this is so thoughtful. Thank you.”
Jack crosses to your side and kisses you on the cheek. “We have presents for you, too.”
“Really?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.
Jack nods, and you notice when Aaron elbows him lightly in the ribs before he speaks.
“You get to open one now, and another one at dinner,” Aaron explains.
“You two spoil me.” You smile and shake your head, taking a bite of one of the many offerings before you. Isaac struggles a bit, and Jack plops him on the bedspread so he can wiggle into your lap.
Aaron huffs, ruffling Jack’s hair. “You’re supposed to help Mom with Isaac so she can eat on her birthday.”
Ignoring Aaron, you assure the boy with a wink. “I’m fine, Jack.”
The sulky look disappears off his face and he hops up on the bed himself, sitting on the other side of your legs. “So do you want your first present now or after breakfast?”
Your eyes light up and you look over at Aaron. “Is it in here?”
Aaron nods and crosses to the same lockbox that held your engagement and wedding rings until he gave them to you. Popping it open, he pulls a little velvet case and returns to your side.
You never thought to look in it after the wedding - he keeps all the ring boxes in there, but you never take your rings off and never feel the need to open it. poke around in Aaron’s things.
When he sets the box in your palm, you open it.
The contents take your breath away - it’s a mother’s ring, with your birthstone and Topaz for Aaron in the center, the design complimentary with your wedding rings. Beside those, an Aquamarine for Isaac, and an Opal for Jack.
And room for more...
“Do you like it?” Jack peers over the tray to get a better look at it.
You take it out of the box and slip it onto the ring finger of your right hand, admiring it in the late-morning light. “I love it.”
Reaching for Jack, he leans over so you can kiss the top of his head. “Thank you, my darling. It’s beautiful.”
Aaron takes your hand after you release Jack and kisses your knuckles, right over the ring. “We’ve been working on it for ages. It was supposed to be done in time for your birthday last year, but we didn’t quite make it.”
You grin at him. “Better late than never, right?”
His mouth quirks. “My thinking exactly.”
+++
All day, the boys make it their mission to keep you entertained.
In the early afternoon, Aaron put Isaac down for a nap while you and Jack started your favorite movie. When Aaron came back, he’d handed you your favorite snacks and tucked you right under his arm.
Needless to say, thirty-five started off on the right foot.
Dinner is a somewhat subdued affair, with Aaron doing all the cooking and Jack cleaning up behind him like the world’s cutest scullery maid. Isaac happily sits in your lap most of the time, watching and listening, as he usually does.
It’s the end of dinner that really gets exciting. Jack’s looked a little nervous the whole time, been a bit restless. Finally, you cave.
“You okay, bud?”
He nods and looks over at Aaron, who raises his eyebrows in a question you’re not privy to.
Without a word, Jack gets up and scampers to his bedroom.
“Your second present,” Aaron explains.
There’s an all-knowing air to your reply. “Ah.”
The two of you share a little look and a laugh. How you managed to get here, with him, with your sons, with all of it, you have no idea.
Aaron stands and clears the table with alarming efficiency, dropping a kiss to the top of your head for good measure.
When Jack returns, it’s with a wide, flattish box that he unsuccessfully attempts to hide behind his back. He stands at your side and sets it down next to your plate, hovering.
You and Jack wait patiently for Aaron to return, and when he does -
“So, Dad and I have been working on this present for a while,” Jack starts.
You smile and poke him in the ribs. “That seems to be a theme, doesn’t it?”
He laughs. “Yeah, I guess so.” He swallows and takes a deep breath, as if he rehearsed his next thought. He probably did. “We wanted to do something special for your birthday this year, so we actually wanted to wait to give you this one.”
Aaron pulls his chair right next to yours. “This is a bit overdue, but we’ve never really done anything quite on time, have we?”
“No,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “No, we haven’t.”
“So, with that in mind…” He places the box in front of you and taps it twice. “...we have this for you. It’s from both of us - Jack and me.”
You squint at him for a minute, picking up on something that sounded like nerves in his voice.
What on earth would he be nervous about getting me?
Checking in with Jack, who’s focused solely on the box, you tear into the paper. It only startles you a little when Jack leans against you, looping an arm around the back of your shoulders.
When did he get so big?
You can hear tissue paper inside, and it’s exceedingly lightweight, but you resist the urge to shake it. The anticipation is killing you.
Inside the box, a manila folder stares at you, legal-sized and taped closed.
There’s a laugh in your voice as you attempt to cut the tension that arcs between the original Hotchners.
“Aaron, if you got me the GW law review, I’m gonna be annoyed.”
“Just open it,” he says, quiet. There’s something else in his voice behind the anxiety - it almost sounds like pride.
You follow instructions as best you can with both of your boys nearly in your lap.
It takes you a minute to realize what the papers are, but when you do, you drop the packet like they’re on fire and cover your mouth with a gasp. You wrap your free arm around Jack’s waist and pull him impossibly closer to you.
He’s shaking.
His voice is almost a whisper. “I thought since everything else was kind of official that we should… do this too.” He looks over at Aaron, who nods. “It was my idea, and Dad helped me with the paperwork.”
“I wrote the supplementaries myself,” Aaron says, a little smile on his face. “And there’s also something else in the folder, just for you. I haven’t read it.”
With a breath, you collect yourself. Shaking the manila folder, you find another sealed envelope, marked ‘ONE’ in familiar handwriting. Inside, a letter. Jack rounds the table and stands beside Aaron while you unfold the paper, your fingers tracing over the creases.
You read the letter in silence, hearing her voice as you do so. When you’re finished, your eyes are a little misty, and your lower lip shakes, you fold it and replace it, intending to bring it to bed with you tonight so Aaron can read it.
“What is it?” Aaron asks.
You furrow your brow. Don’t you know?
“The lawyer said it was confidential - for your eyes only - by Haley’s request.”
You nod. I’ll let you read it. Later.
He nods, his eyes soft.
For Jack’s benefit, you reply out loud, too, “Just some more paperwork.”
Jack picks up the packet from under the tissue paper and puts it in front of you again.
“So, all you have to do is sign it.” He hesitates before he speaks again. “...If you want to.”
You look up at him and brush the endlessly wayward hair off his forehead. “Of course I want to, honey. There’s nothing on this green earth I’d love more than to be your mom on paper, too.”
His face breaks out into a grin, and he sprints off again. When he returns, it’s with the fancy pen from Aaron’s office - the one he really isn’t allowed to use.
You look at Aaron, who rolls his eyes and shakes his head before telling you, “I already put in our time off for the court date next week.”
His hand covers yours. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was going to say something else.
But, because you do know better, you know there’s nothing to say.
+++
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @zizzlekwum @lcvischmitt @qvid-pro-qvo @mandylove1000 @simsiddy @jeor @synonymforlame @roses-and-grasses @bwbatta @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @cevanswhre @joanofarkansass @infinity1321 @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @spencerelds @ssahotchnerr @this-broken-band-girl @winqhster @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @ceceguajardo-blog @baumarvel @kerrswriting @messyhairday-me
Alt Text of the Letter:
My darling _____,
You are perhaps the only person in the world who can appreciate how absolutely morbid this is. I’m sitting in some random hotel room, in witness protection, writing a letter to the person who’s going to marry Aaron and adopt Jack in the event of my untimely demise - an alarmingly apparent possibility, as it happens.
If you do end up reading this without me, I apologize for the dramatic irony and dark humor. Blame Aaron. I wasn’t funny before I met him.
Just kidding.
It feels silly. I wrote two versions of this letter in the vain and selfish hope that Aaron would move on if something happened to me. The first letter is for a stranger, someone who came into his life after I’ve gone, who has captured his fickle and guarded heart. This version of the letter serves two purposes:
The first - I want to tell you that I love you, I trust you, and if something happens to me, I know you will raise Jack as your own son. It’s exactly what I want if it comes down to that.
The other is to congratulate Aaron for pulling his head out of his ass and making the right choice. Tell him I’m proud of him.
Here’s the really morbid part: I’m so sorry I can’t be there. I know there is only one real circumstance in which you ever read this letter. Even thinking about losing you is impossible, so if you've really lost me and gotten this far, you’re stronger than even I can imagine.
You know you have my blessing. My son, our son, is in the best hands in the whole world.
I love you. Always. Haley
#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#hotch#tali writes fanfiction#tali talks cm#a joyful future#a joyful future fanfic
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spare me a little (of your love)
summary: Klavier always liked to express his love with flowers, so sending a beautiful bouquet to his boyfriend every now and then seemed like the obvious thing to do. However, there’s just one little problem - Apollo is very, very allergic to pollen.
word count: 5.3k | read on ao3
a/n: For @klapollo-week, day two of seven (prompt: "flowers"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.
This fic takes place at some distant point in time after Spirit of Justice where Apollo and Trucy have learned that they’re siblings, but doesn’t reference any specific plotlines otherwise. My source for flower meanings can be found here. Fic title is from the song Spare Me a Little of Your Love by Fleetwood Mac.
“The language of...flowers?”
“Oui, oui, mon ami!” Athena chirped, nodding eagerly. “That’s just one of the many languages I speak, y’know.”
Apollo eyed her skeptically over the top of his laptop screen. “...right. Elaborate, please.”
“Well, you know how people usually give roses to express their love?” Athena said, leaning across the gap between their desks. She didn’t even blink when she accidentally knocked over Apollo’s calendar and pen holder in one fell swoop. Apollo, on the other hand, shot her an affronted glance that she deftly ignored. “Well, each flower actually has its own specific meaning. It even varies from color to color! Par exemple, white roses symbolize innocence, while yellow roses symbolize friendship.”
“That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Apollo remarked. “Don’t most flowers come with a card? Why can’t people just write their messages instead?”
They turned at the sound of a disappointed groan coming from the middle of the room. “You’re so unromantic, Polly,” Trucy complained, peeking at them from over the back of the couch. “I almost feel bad for Mr. Gavin!”
“Hey,” Apollo protested. “I can be - I-I’m romantic!”
“If you say so,” Athena giggled, poking him in the shoulder. Huffing, Apollo prodded her back. Athena reached for a rubber band, fully intending to escalate things. She lowered her projectile dejectedly when Apollo raised his hands in surrender; he had no interest in losing an eye today.
“Sunflowers and tulips are supposed to symbolize happiness, right?” Phoenix asked. “Those are pretty much the only flowers I really know, so.”
There was a long, uncomfortably drawn-out silence. “...Daddy, your ex-girlfriend’s name was Dahlia. Her real name was - is - Iris.”
“Oh...right,” Phoenix chuckled, only mildly embarrassed. “Speaking of, do you know what dahlias and irises mean, Athena?”
Athena’s eyes were practically sparkling now. “Oui! Dahlias symbolize elegance and dignity.” Phoenix made a face. “...but, they also symbolize dishonesty and betrayal.”
“That’s more like it,” Phoenix muttered under his breath. “And irises?”
“Faith, wisdom, that kinda thing,” Athena shrugged. She then paused. “Y’know, if you want some ideas on the kinds of flowers Mr. Edgeworth would like, I can make some - ”
“Nope, nope, I-I’m good,” Phoenix interrupted swiftly, his face reddening. He had a vase of daffodils sitting on his desk, which Edgeworth had sent to the office a few days ago. None of them believed Phoenix when he claimed they were purely intended for decoration. “So why the sudden interest in flowers, Apollo? Is this, er...is this about Gavin?”
“If you’re not talking about your prosecutor, sir, I’m not talking about mine,” Apollo said firmly, turning back to his laptop.
“Sure, except I think your prosecutor’s fair game when he picks you up from work most days,” Phoenix teased. His tone was eerily similar to Trucy’s. If Phoenix wasn’t both his boss and his sort-of stepfather, Apollo would’ve picked up a rubber band himself.
A few hours later, Apollo was locking up the office for the evening when he heard the roar of a familiar-sounding motorcycle coming up the street. He turned, biting back a smile as Klavier pulled up beside the sidewalk and turned off his engine. “Your bike really is as obnoxious as you are.”
Klavier removed his helmet, pouting. “Achtung, is that any way to greet your boyfriend?”
“It is for me,” Apollo replied, kissing him briefly. “Hi.”
“Hallo,” Klavier murmured against Apollo’s lips, grinning as he pulled away. “Dinner?”
“Yes, please,” Apollo said, reaching for Klavier’s spare helmet. “I’m feeling...pizza and all the cheesy garlic breadsticks. Or maybe we can just get cheesy garlic breadsticks.”
“As nice as that sounds, you need more vegetables than the little bits you get in your cup noodles, baby,” Klavier said, patting Apollo’s hip affectionately. “Pizza, breadsticks, and a side salad, ja?”
“Fine, fine,” Apollo grumbled, settling in behind Klavier. “Turn me into a rabbit, why don’t you? Buy me a bag of carrot sticks the next time we go to the grocery store. Stuff my mattress with straw and newspaper - ”
“And people think I’m the dramatic one,” Klavier lamented, shaking his head in amusement.
It wasn’t long before the two of them were sitting on the floor of Klavier’s living room, pleasantly stuffed with pizza and breadsticks and a mediocre amount of Greek salad (“I’m not a fan of olives, you know.” “Not surprising, since the color doesn’t work with your complexion.” “Klavier, I swear to - ”). A random made-for-TV movie was playing in the background on mute, though neither of them were particularly interested in watching it.
“How was work?” Apollo asked, taking a much-needed gulp of cold water. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get the taste of garlic out of his mouth.
“Boring, unfortunately,” Klavier said with a grimace. “Herr Edgeworth didn’t have anything but paperwork to offer me. No trials, no investigations, nichts. You?”
“Same,” Apollo replied. “Mr. Wright’s mostly working with Athena this month, so they’re taking the big clients while I get stuck with the smaller cases. Not that I’m complaining, I mean - it’s a nice change from Khura’in. I don’t want every trial to feel like I’m going under, you know?”
“Nein, that would be terrible,” Klavier agreed. “Exciting, sure, but the stress wouldn’t be worth it. I already found a gray hair the other day, ach.”
Apollo snorted. “Just one? You should see mine - I’m gonna be completely gray by thirty-five at this rate.” He shuffled closer so he could snuggle up against Klavier’s side, letting his head drop to Klavier’s shoulder. “So...turns out, Athena knows all about the flower language thing. Figured she might.”
“Flower...language...thing?” Klavier echoed, confused. He then brightened. “Ah! From our video call with my mama the other day, ja? I didn’t know you were actually interested.”
“I wasn’t, not at first,” Apollo admitted, squeezing Klavier’s arm. “But...I want your parents to like me, and since she said she was taking an interest, I thought, y’know, why not look into it? And it sounds kinda...contrived, not gonna lie. But I guess it’s kinda sweet, too. Like a secret language between just two people.”
Klavier’s face softened. “Ja, exactly. My parents used to write love letters to each other when they were in school, so I think this is Mama’s way of starting a new tradition - buying Papa flowers so he can plant them in his garden. You should see our family estate in the summer, it’s absolutely stunning.”
“Sounds like it,” Apollo said, smiling. “Your parents’ lives sound so...peaceful. Baking, gardening, travelling...I know it’s a little early to start thinking about retirement, but still, they’re living the dream.”
“They’re not retired yet,” Klavier chuckled. “And stop making me feel like I’m dating an old man, bitte. You complaining about your back makes me feel like I have to start complaining about my back.”
Apollo hummed, tracing random patterns along Klavier’s forearm with his finger. He was pleasantly sleepy from a number of things - his long, if uneventful day of work, the amount of cheese and carbs he’d just consumed, and the warmth of Klavier’s skin against his. “Sorry we can’t all afford chiropractors and massage therapists, sheesh,” he teased, unable to hold back a yawn.
“Maybe we can get a massage together someday,” Klavier suggested, stretching luxuriously. “Ah, before I forget - since we were talking about my parents just now, they asked me the other day if it would be alright to text you and send you things, little gifts and whatnot.”
“Huh? They would do that?” Apollo exclaimed. “I only just met them, like, a week ago!”
“They’re a bit...much,” Klavier said carefully. “Even when I was in high school, every friend I brought home was a potential lover to them, you know? They wanted to know everything about them, to shower them with gifts and affection. Even when I started working, I would ask Papa if I could have some flowers from his garden - you know, an arrangement to thank Herr Edgeworth for giving me a raise, a bouquet for my manager when we got our first record deal - and it was always the same story. Achtung, it’s embarrassing, but they mean well. You don’t have to say ja if you don’t want to, I just thought I’d ask.”
“No, I - it’s okay, I’d love to get to know your parents more, I’m just surprised,” Apollo admitted. The thought of them liking him this easily made him both relieved and unnerved at the same time. “Should I, uh, get them something in return?”
“Nein, nein, let them spoil you.” Klavier cupped Apollo’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “Just like I do.”
“Sap,” Apollo murmured, kissing him back.
_____
It was a sort of gradual thing, for the most part. Barely a day had gone by when Apollo found himself in a group text with Klavier’s parents; he quickly discovered how witty and sweet and whip-smart they both were. Klavier’s father sent gorgeous photos of his garden - and calling it a garden seemed almost too modest when it seemed to be the size of a soccer field - while Klavier’s mother sent book recommendations, even the occasional movie recommendation.
“I never thought I’d be at that point in my life where my boyfriend’s mother sends me three long paragraphs about how she ‘discovered’ the Legally Blonde musical, but here we are,” Apollo had mused to the other agency members.
“Did you tell her that Klavier reminds everyone of that song, the one that goes - ”
“No, Athena, I did not. I want her to like me, remember?”
Soon after that, gifts started to arrive. Apollo had requested they send them to the agency, given how little he trusted his apartment building’s security after they nearly let his cat escape not too long ago. Unfortunately, it was too late before he realized that sometimes, he trusted his co-workers - or more specifically, his sister - even less.
“Trucy, do you know who ate the last piece of pie? Y’know, the one I was saving for today, to celebrate the end of my trial?”
“...huh. No idea, sorry, Polly!”
“Wait - th-there’s graham crumbs on Mr. Hat, what the hell - ”
His sister’s betrayal aside, Apollo felt good about things, almost unusually good. He soon started texting Klavier’s parents just as frequently as he did his own mother, thanking them for their generosity whenever they sent the occasional box of pastries or discounted event tickets. They also exchanged anecdotes about Klavier, along with stories about their own lives. He even received celebratory emojis whenever he told them about his victories in court - over their son, no less.
“I’m starting to think they like you more than they like me,” Klavier had lamented, though he seemed pleased all the same.
Then, a month into their budding familial relationship, a problem arrived on Apollo’s desk in the form of a bouquet the size of his head.
“Ah-choo!”
Trucy and Athena, who had been standing by the latter’s desk, both startled at the sound. “Ay Dios mío!” Athena exclaimed, clutching her heart in shock. “Are you okay, Apollo? That was some sneeze. I thought we were having another earthquake!”
“Har, har,” Apollo said dryly, reaching for a tissue. “It’s just the - achoo - flowers, that’s all.”
“They’re beautiful - very classic,” Athena added, dropping into Apollo’s desk chair so she could get a closer look. “Red roses and white lilies, claro. Ooh, I see some red carnations and white chrysanthemums, too!”
“Well, I see a card,” Trucy said, plucking a small white notecard from between the leaves. “Let’s see what it says!”
“That’s for - achoo - me, thank you very much.” Apollo snatched the card out of her hands, then squinted through his watery eyes to read it. “I...oh. Klavier says his mom helped him make the arrangement, with flowers from his dad’s garden.”
“How sweet!” Trucy gushed, taking a moment to sniff them, inhaling deeply as her eyes drifted closed. “Ooh, and they smell amazing. Mr. Gavin is such a good - ”
“Ah-choo!” Apollo sniffled, wiping his nose carefully. “...dammit.”
“I didn’t know you were allergic to pollen, Apollo,” Phoenix commented; he was on the other side of the room, pouring himself a cup of tea. “You never had any problems with the flowers Edgeworth sent to m - I mean, to the office.”
“Maybe it’s a freshly-cut thing?” Athena guessed, ignoring Phoenix’s awkward laugh. “Or, y’know, some flowers are worse for allergies than others. Dahlias, for example, are the worst.” Phoenix made another face before turning back to what he was doing.
“You should tell him you’re allergic,” Trucy said, patting Apollo’s free hand in sympathy. “I’m sure he’d understand.”
“But…” Apollo hesitated. The others braced themselves, anticipating another sneeze. “...this is from Klavier and his parents, you know? I can put up with a sneeze or two if it makes them happy. He loves sending flowers, and his dad’s really into gardening, so...if I tell them, they’ll stop doing it, and they’ll be too understanding, and I - I can’t deal with that. The, uh, the niceness, I mean.”
“Poor you, having the sweetest in-laws in the world,” Athena teased, pouting exaggeratedly. Oh, the humanity, Widget added. Apollo would have glared at them both, had he not started sneezing again. “Como tú quieras, I guess.”
Hours later, when Klavier met Apollo at the agency, the sight of his face brightening when he saw the bouquet confirmed Apollo’s fears. “Ah, how wunderschön,” Klavier declared, beaming. “I was worried they wouldn’t hold up during delivery. Do you like them, liebe?”
“They’re beautiful,” Apollo said, as honest as he could be. “Thanks, Klavier. I, uh, I hope it didn’t take you too long to put together.”
“You know how picky I can be,” Klavier hummed, carefully drawing a carnation out of the vase between two practiced fingers and bringing it up to his nose to smell. “I don’t settle for anything less than perfekt.” He turned, smirking. “That’s why I’m dating you, after all.”
“Gross,” Apollo said, wrinkling his nose; the effect was ruined by his affectionate laughter. “Hey, is it okay if I press them after they’ve wilted? I was thinking I could keep ‘em in my journal as a nice little reminder.”
Klavier chuckled, reaching over to squeeze Apollo’s hand. “Of course, Forehead. They’re all yours, you don’t have to ask for my permission. And I’m sure Mama and Papa would be delighted to hear you’re planning to give Papa’s flowers a second life. We’ll have to send you more in the future, ja?”
“...ja,” Apollo said weakly, his heart sinking.
_____
The next bouquet arrived two weeks later, bigger and bolder than before. According to Athena, it consisted of pink and orange roses, pink lilies, and yellow alstroemeria. However, it seemed to be the handful of sunflowers that topped everything off that left Apollo’s nose running all day.
“I think the only sunflower I can stand to be around is my attorney’s badge,” Apollo had bemoaned.
After that came an arrangement of white daisies, red gerbera, and white limonium (or, as Trucy liked to call it - she liked practicing tongue twisters when she was bored - “linoleum”). Then green hydrangeas and Queen Anne’s lace, which admittedly wasn't so bad, followed by purple daisies and pink gerbera, which was very, very bad. Apollo did not like the fact that he was getting used to the taste of Benadryl. He did manage to get some reprieve when Klavier sent him a simple vase of pink peonies.
“They’re hypoallergenic,” Athena had informed him. “But...mein Gott, Apollo, just tell him already!”
“But if I do, i-it’s…” Apollo had gestured wildly, unable to find the right words. Athena and Trucy had exchanged glances, then shook their heads in eerily synchronized disappointment.
Pink carnations and pink alstroemeria, purple irises and white aster, yellow daisies and orange roses; Apollo was starting to think the Gavin family garden was endless. And while his journal had never looked prettier, every page decorated with carefully pressed petals, every other page detailed with a date and a description courtesy of Athena’s expertise, his nose had never looked worse, his skin pink and dry and irritated. He was getting too used to the smell of CeraVe as well.
Finally, a bouquet of red roses - thankfully, also hypoallergenic - arrived with Klavier himself. He seemed delighted to be at the agency while everyone else was present for once, chatting happily with Athena and marvelling at Trucy’s card tricks. He and Phoenix seemed awkward around each other, though Apollo supposed that was to be expected. Even now, they hesitated whenever Apollo brought the other one up.
“So what’re you doing here, Mr. Gavin?” Trucy asked after she’d successfully duped him three times in a row. Apollo had to stop her before she started charging him for it. “Is it date night?”
“Not exactly,” Klavier said, turning to Apollo. “I came here to ask you something in person, liebe.”
Apollo raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all. What’s up?”
“I think it’s about time you meet my parents in person.” Klavier took both of Apollo’s hands in his, smiling hopefully. “So, if you’re ready...are you free this weekend? We could go to my family estate, spend the day - Mama would love to teach you how to make those puff pastries you like, and Papa wants to show you around the garden so you can see where all your wunderschön flowers came from.”
“I...oh.” Apollo’s face fell for a split second before he quickly regained his composure. “Sorry, Klav, that sounds incredible, but I-I was gonna stay with Mom this weekend. Maybe another time?”
“Natürlich,” Klavier replied, still smiling. While his smiles usually made Apollo feel warm and fuzzy, now all he was feeling was gnawing guilt. “Let me know when you have a free weekend, ja?”
“For sure,” Apollo promised, pecking him briefly on the cheek. “And thanks for the roses, even though I, uh, kinda ruined the occasion.”
“Ruined?” Klavier repeated, chuckling. “Ach, it’s no big deal, you’re busy. We have time, don’t we?”
“Of course!” Apollo exclaimed, far too loudly. Klavier didn’t seem to mind, though; he leaned down to kiss Apollo properly, humming all the while.
“Anyway, I should get going before Herr Edgeworth notices I’m not in my office,” Klavier said, reluctantly pulling away. The look on Phoenix's face suggested he knew that Edgeworth had figured it out long ago. “Auf Wiedersehen, süßer!”
The second Klavier left, Apollo let out the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t even need to look up to know the others were staring at him very judgmentally. “...I don’t wanna hear it.”
“You really shouldn’t lie to your boyfriend, Apollo,” Phoenix said gently; his voice had taken on the sort of “dad” tone that made Apollo feel even guiltier. “Er, that is, you shouldn’t lie to anyone, but you know what I mean. Are you really protecting his feelings by doing this?”
Sighing, Apollo collapsed into his desk chair, dropping his forehead to his desk with an audible thunk. “I know, I know. It was stupid from the start, but...I-I honestly wasn’t expecting him to send this many! I thought it’d be, y’know, for special occasions only, like every few months or whatever. Then I could deal with it, and he would never have to know. Not, like, just ‘cos he felt like it. Though I guess I really should’ve seen it coming, knowing him.”
“You really gotta tell him,” Trucy insisted. “Next time you see him, okay? Or else you’re never gonna say anything!”
“I will, I swear,” Apollo insisted, combing his fingers through his hair. He could feel more grays coming in by the second. “I have no interest in being the worst boyfriend ever, believe me.”
_____
It didn’t take long for Apollo to realize that while he was perfectly fine - or, at least, reasonably fine - with confrontation in the courtroom, he was very much not fine with confrontation in his personal life. The flower arrangements came less frequently now, and when they did, they seemed to be exclusively hypoallergenic. Klavier’s invitations, on the other hand, seemed more persistent.
“I don’t mean to push,” Klavier would say. “It’s just that exam week is coming up and, being professors and all, they’re going to be very busy soon. I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time with them before then.”
“Yeah, o-of course,” Apollo would reply, his stomach twisting every time, knowing full well he was about to turn him down again.
Another weekend went by, then another. There always seemed to be something, whether it was Apollo’s sudden frequent visits to Thalassa’s, Trucy’s sudden need for a magic show assistant, or that Apollo was just too tired to be good company. Eventually, Klavier seemed to simply stop asking. In fact, he seemed to stop asking him about anything at all.
“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Apollo had once asked Klavier while they were both packing up after the end of a lengthy trial.
“I don’t know.” Klavier had sounded tired, subdued; he refused to look Apollo in the eyes. “I think I’m just going to head back to the office and catch up on my emails. Take care, Herr Forehead.” He’d quickly swept out of the courtroom before Apollo could even say goodbye.
Apollo’s group text with his parents seemed to slow down, too, especially when it came to Klavier’s papa’s photos of his garden. Klavier’s mama, on the other hand, sent him short, stilted messages, now seemingly out of obligation instead of affection. Their near-radio silence, Apollo had to admit, was well-deserved. He knew he had to do something before it was too late, if it wasn’t already too late.
“I was surprised you wanted me to join you today,” Klavier said one morning as the two of them were taking a leisurely stroll around People Park, hand-in-hand. “Lately, I feel like I’ve been dating a ghost, achtung. We only ever see each other in court. Maybe at crime scenes, too, if we’re lucky.”
“And I’m surprised you agreed to come,” Apollo admitted. “I missed you, Klavier. Only...I, uh, I know that’s really my fault, not yours.”
“You do, do you?” Klavier sounded bitter. His grip on Apollo’s hand was looser than usual, like he was ready to pull away at any second, like he wanted to run. The thought made Apollo’s chest ache. “And here, I thought you were as oblivious as ever.”
“Hey,” Apollo protested, frowning. Then, he sighed. “No, you - you’re right. This is on me. Will you - I - listen, I have something for you, back at the office. Can we go get it before you head to work?”
Klavier nodded shortly. While his eyes had softened, his smile was still strained. “Ja, let’s go.”
Thankfully, the agency was empty when they got there, save for a certain something sitting patiently on Apollo’s desk. He set his bag down, then turned on all the lights, his heart pounding rapidly against his ribcage. “So these aren’t as nice as your dad’s, but, uh. This is for you...and your parents.”
“What do you - ah!” Klavier approached Apollo’s desk with wide, disbelieving eyes, his gaze fixated on the beautiful arrangement of white lilies, yellow tulips, and white orchids wrapped in white decorative tissue paper. “Apollo, these are...they’re lovely! Did you pick these out yourself?”
“Athena helped,” Apollo said, hovering nervously. “She said white lilies are for humility, yellow tulips can mean forgiveness, and white orchids symbolize strength. Fitting, since I wanted to...apologize. For being a horrible boyfriend.”
“I don’t know about ‘horrible’,” Klavier said, gently running a finger down the length of one of the orchids. “...but you have been distant. If you’re not actually interested in meeting my parents, or if you...if you want to end things, just say so, will you?” His voice cracked. “I might like a bit of drama every now and then, but not in my own life. Not in my own relationship.”
“What?! No, no, I-I don’t wanna end things at all!” Apollo exclaimed, his voice filling the room. He took a few deep, even breaths to calm himself. “Just...will you hear me out? Please?” Klavier nodded, though he refused to look at him. “I’m...I’m sorry for avoiding you and your parents. And before you ask...yes. I was doing it on purpose. It’s nothing that - none of you did anything wrong, okay? It’s me, i-it’s - it - I - ah - ”
Klavier turned on his heel, worried. “Apollo? Are you - ”
“Ah-choo!”
Klavier jumped. “Ach - Apollo?”
“I forgot there were asters in there,” Apollo grumbled, reaching for a tissue. He wasn’t sure which was redder now, his nose or his cheeks. “It’s - I - achoo - ”
“Apollo,” Klavier said slowly; if Apollo didn’t know any better, he would've thought he was trying not to laugh. “Are you, by chance...allergic to pollen?”
Apollo sniffed sharply. “...yes, dammit, yes! That’s literally what I’ve been trying to say - achoo - just now, until - achoo - my sinuses decided to - achoo - speak for me!” He was half-doubled over at this point, clenching a fistful of tissues in both hands.
“Baby, have you been rejecting my invitation to meet my parents because you’re allergic to all the flowers we’ve been sending you for the last several weeks?” Klavier sounded more incredulous than angry.
“...yes. Yes, I have, yes, I’m an idiot and an asshole and - achoo - I’m so sorry, Klavier, I - achoo - ”
“Bitte, say it, don’t spray it.” Klavier held up Apollo’s tissue box for him, keeping it - and Apollo himself - at a good distance. “Mein Gott, Apollo, I thought you wanted to break up with me! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!”
It took another minute or so before Apollo finally stopped sneezing long enough to get a full sentence out. He sniffled again, wiping his nose completely clean. “...have you ever told, like, the tiniest lie to make someone happy, only for it to turn into a big...thing? And then you know you have to come clean, that it’s what you’re s’posed to do, but the thought of doing it makes you anxious, even if not doing it also makes you anxious, and then...it just...it, uh, it stays with you.” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Not that that’s an excuse, it’s just - that’s just what happened. I’m sorry, Klavier, I really am. I really do want to meet your parents, they’re so sweet and friendly a-and funny, I’m just...I’m bad at this. Really, really bad at this.”
Klavier sighed. Apollo held his breath, anticipating the worst. Then, Klavier wrapped him in his arms, letting out another sigh of relief. “I understand, liebe, and...I forgive you. Danke for explaining yourself.” He kissed the top of Apollo’s head. “Maybe we should’ve stuck to sending you pies, ja?”
Apollo laughed wetly. “I don’t know how you’re joking right now. That’s usually my job.” He lifted his head from Klavier’s chest to look up at him with a grateful smile. “I really did love the flowers, you know. When they weren’t attacking my respiratory system, that is.”
“Still, let’s not push it any further,” Klavier said wryly. “Now - two things, if you don’t mind. First, let me give you some moisturizer for your poor, poor nose. I’m not kissing you until I’m sure your skin won’t flake off in the process.”
“Ew, thanks for the gross visual,” Apollo grimaced. “And the second thing?”
Klavier smiled. “If you're alright with it, I’d like you to tell my parents what happened...in person.”
_____
The garden was just as beautiful as Apollo imagined it to be, given the dozens and dozens of photos he’d gotten from Klavier’s papa. It was full and lush and vibrant, with towering trees that provided ample shade, a beautiful gazebo with a built-in fireplace, a gorgeous two-tiered fish pond, and of course, a plethora of flowers, as far as they could see. Everything was especially beautiful, in Apollo’s opinion, from the relative safety of the conservatory.
“We’re not throwing you to the wolves, darling,” Klavier’s mama insisted, as if she were talking about actual wild animals and not her husband’s hobby. “We’ll stay in here for high tea so you can admire the garden at a safe distance, yes?”
“Yes, th-thank you,” Apollo stammered, relieved. “High tea?”
“Today’s menu is German chocolate scones and mini-sandwiches. With the crusts cut off for my fussy baby boy, of course,” she added, pinching Klavier’s cheek with a devious grin.
“Mama,” Klavier protested, embarrassed. His papa chuckled, settling into the chair across from his son; he still had a smudge of dirt on his nose. “I’m a grown man, achtung. I have my own health insurance and everything!”
“I really am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Gavin,” Apollo said sincerely. Despite their kindness and generosity, he was still somewhat intimidated by them, by how tall and beautiful and well-spoken they were. As much as he didn’t want to think about his former boss, Apollo could see where he and Klavier got their good looks and charm from. “I wanted to make a good impression, but I, uh, I didn’t go about it the right way. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now, but...I kept it from happening for a dumb reason, and it led to me hurting your feelings and Klavier’s feelings. I’m sorry.”
“All is forgiven,” Klavier’s papa insisted, waving a hand. “Just promise you’ll stop by every now and then, alright? Our doors are open to you, Apollo. Consider us your parents, too, if you’d like.”
Apollo smiled softly. “I would, sir.”
“It’ll be a good, allergy-free time, I promise,” he continued with a teasing wink. “We’ll bake some bread, watch some home movies...are you interested in seeing - ach, what do the kids call it - Klavier’s ‘goth phase’?”
Apollo’s mouth dropped open. “...his what.”
“Papa, nein,” Klavier whined; he really did sound like a child now. “Maybe it was a mistake to bring you here, liebling.”
“Oh, I disagree,” Apollo said, his grin widening. “I would love to see Klavier’s goth phase. Did he dye his hair?”
“Oh, did he,” Klavier’s mama said slyly with the exasperated sigh of a parent who had dealt with too much. “It’s a miracle he managed to get back to blond at all.” She then got to her feet, smoothing out the front of her apron. “Anyway, Papa and I should go check on the scones now. You two sit tight, okay?” Before Apollo could blink, she’d dropped kisses on both his and Klavier’s foreheads, then disappeared down the hallway and into the kitchen, her husband in tow. He turned to look at Klavier, who was watching him nervously.
“I love them,” Apollo admitted. “They’re so sweet, Klav, they - stop looking at me like that, will you?”
“You can’t blame me for worrying,” Klavier said, kissing him briefly. “But I’m glad to hear it. Ich liebe dich, schatz.”
“Love you too, dork,” Apollo murmured against Klavier’s lips. “...so. Did you have a lip ring, or snake bites, or - ”
“Get out of my house,” Klavier huffed, pinching Apollo’s arm with an exaggerated pout.
“Hey! This isn’t your house, it’s your parents’ house, and they said their doors were open,” Apollo teased, laughing. Rolling his eyes, Klavier pulled Apollo into his arms, the two of them snuggled up on the loveseat. In the distance, they could see birds and butterflies fluttering among the flowers, a stray squirrel or two sniffing curiously at the edge of the fish pond. It was peaceful, serene. If it wasn't for the pollen, Apollo could see himself staying outside for hours at a time. “...but seriously, I’m looking forward to the video evidence.”
“I’m sure you are,” Klavier sighed, giving Apollo one last kiss before his parents returned with a large tray of sandwiches, scones, tea, and a vase with a single red rose for decoration - hypoallergenic, of course.
_____
a/n: Welcome to my second entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the fourth of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. Today, I have projected my allergies and anxiety onto Apollo, because that's what fanfiction is for, right? I hope y'all like my version of the Gavins; I've written them as cold and distant a couple of times, but I usually prefer to write them as warm and witty so that Klavier has a good support system in his life.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you're all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️
#KlapolloWeek2021#klapollo#kyodoroki#klapollo fic#ace attorney#ace attorney fic#myfic#long post#sorry these previews are so massive!!#today's and day four's are probably the most lighthearted
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Tagging - Promote your content & Warn your reader
A guide on how to tag on the Archive of our own
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Tagging on ao3 is heavenly compared to other fanfiction websites. Therefore it is important to utilize this amazing search engine to its full potential. If you work the tagging system well, readers can find specific content that you have created. The two main reasons to tag are to:
1. promote your work to as many potential readers as possible.
2. warn your reader from seeing specific content.
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Rating: not unlike how a movie gets an appropriate age/content rating, fanfiction can be rated based on what age range it is appropriate for:
Not Rated: This fic could contain anything and the author chose not to specify an appropriate rating. This is The Wild West of rating. Steer clear from this if you want to specify that your fic is for all ages or adults only.
General Audiences: The content is suitable for everyone, this means no dark or adult or heavy themes.
Teen and up audiences: The content may be inappropriate for audiences under 13. Steer clear from topics strictly appropriate for adults.
Mature: The content in this fic is strictly for adults, containing adult themes such as sex and violence.
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Archive Warnings: These specify the main triggering content readers can easily filter out with one button. This is a crucial step in tagging, please make sure you appropriately warn for these main triggers.
Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings: the Wild West of warnings. This means that the fic can contain any and all of the warnings below. It does not specify or exclude or warn for anything.
Graphic Depictions Of Violence: this warns for graphic gore, blood, violence, murder etc.
Major Character Death: this warns for the death of any character who is not a background character.
No Archive Warnings Apply: there is no content to warn for.
Rape/Non-Con: this warns for any and all non-consensual sexual activity.
Underage: description or depiction of sexual activity by or with an underage character. This is not for kissing/dating, but sexual activity. Please specify also if the sexual activity is consensual by paying attention to the rape/non-con warning.
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Additional Tags: this is the place where you as a writer can get creative in their tagging. This is where you can start promoting your work, this is how your reader will find your content. For the sake of ease, we have broken additional tags into categories. Additional Tags: Additional tags have several different layers. You will want to use more general tags so your readers can find you in the engine based on their mood/needs. Once that has been established you should branch out and add specific tags to appeal to your reader while they are scrolling.
General Genre: Figure out what common genre your fic is. Think about the broad search term your reader will be looking for depending on their mood. Examples: Romance/Love, Crack fic/Humor, Angst/Sad fic, Fluff, Smut, etc.
Themes: Think of broad themes common in fic that will help the reader search for their favourite themes. Examples: Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Domestic Bliss, Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, Slow Build/Slow Burn, Plot What Plot/Porn without Plot, Omegaverse, Sick!fic, etc.
Potential Triggers: Think of what the potential triggers are in your story? A trigger is anything that could potentially be distressing to read. Triggering content should include anything that is traumatic, scary, violent, criminal, or illegal. It should include any illnesses and disorders. Any phobias and discriminatory behaviour (transphobia, homophobia, racism, sexism) should also be tagged. It is important to specify which trigger the reader can encounter, not just 'trauma' or 'blood', but specify what kind of trauma or violence.
Story Keywords + Tropes: This is to summarize your story in a few keywords, this will draw in a reader. Bed Sharing, Pregnancy, Hospitalization, Internalized Homophobia, First Kiss, Genderbend, Family Feels, True Love, Recreational Drug Use, First Meetings, Dorks in Love, Misunderstandings, Drunkness, Medieval AU (tag any specific AU you are writing in)
Character Specific: Your reader might want to know what happens to which character in your fic. The character might be taking on a role in a dynamic or doing something specific in your fic that your reader should know about. You can tag this to warn or to lure people in. Examples using Brian: sad!Brian, bottom!Brian, tattoo artist!Brian, sick!Brian, pregnant!Brian, Alpha!Brian etc.
Smut Tagging: Smut tags are different from other fics. It isn’t enough to tag a smut fic with ‘smut’ or BDSM. The way to attract readers is to be specific of what they can encounter in your fic. First and foremost be upfront about the main pairing. Then consider being specific about who takes on which role if relevant as top or bottom, dominant or submissive, etc. Then specify what sexual acts/activity will be part of the story. If relevant, confirm the status of the relationship, established, first meeting, friends to lovers, hookup, etc.
Don’t be afraid to get specific: John Deserves Better Friends, or, Everyone Gets A Hug, or, Freddie Is Shy, or, This Band Is A Family.
Further advice:
Here is a link to common additional tags: x in case you need tagging inspiration
If you don't know how to tag your fic, try to search for fics similar to your own. See how they tagged their fic and how hard it was for you to find it.
When tagging think: how would I search for a story like the one I just wrote? how can I easily reach readers interested in this content?
If a trigger warning contains a spoiler for the story, specify in the beginning notes that there is a potential trigger warning that spoils the story, and that the reader can see the warning in the endnote if they think they might need it. This way a reader can choose if they want to read without a spoiler, or if they want to check if the content won't trigger them.
Finally, don’t use too many tags. Keep it concise and to the point. Many readers get turned off my huge blocks of tags. The number of tags should reflect the length of the fic.
Happy writing everyone!💕💡
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