#this is one hell of a shower thought

[lucy-the-demon]

Wtf does Harvey even do with truffle oil, does he down that shit like a bottle of jack? For a guy who claims to care about health, that doesn't sound very healthy my guy.

[zwoftt]

pls let my slow burn heart bleed when orym once again falls on the battlefield and dorian rushes to save him, curing his wounds with a kiss

[triglycercule]

alright you know what FINE horror cooks. even though he struggles with food and has a bad relationship with it sure he'll cook. but can we at least give him the liberty of getting to fuck around with people because of it ok FINE let me be specific i mean feeding other people dead remains and stuff ok 😒😒😒 ok 😒😒😒

oh so sweet he just made a five course meal and a fancy steak!!!! its gold plated!!!! it smells so good!!!! soooo delish and hmm a bit hard to chew but maybe he just made it a bit overcooked dont worry horror you tried your hardest. what do you mean you put blood sweat and tears into it with a oddly evil grin on your face. what is in my cup of water bro. what did I JUST EAT

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Hi everyone, sorry for the little absence but I’ve been once again struggling with my anxiety. I drove myself to a doctor’s appointment the other day and my anxiety was so bad my foot was bouncing on the petals. I was in panic mode the whole way there and back, and that’s the worst it’s been in a while. (Everything was fine, it wasn’t enough to impair my driving 🙂) I’ve also been incredibly lethargic, like sleeping for hours on end, multiple times of the day. I’m kinda like a cat right now, hehe. But like…not in a good way.

So, I’ve been struggling to interact with people in my personal life, as well as online. Which sucks cause I love coming on here, sharing my silly little thoughts, and talking to everyone about this or that. I’ve been lurking, lol, so I have been here, but I’ve just been too nervous to interact like I usually do.

I’m getting back on some medication, so hopefully I’ll feel a little better and also have the energy to do my usual things.

As always, thank you for being patient with me, and I hope everyone is taking good care of themselves! 💜

[megaawkwardhuman]

OH SHIT WHAT IF NANDOR ACTUALLY SYMPATHISES WITH WHY GUILLERMO DID IT

CAUSE MAYBE HE WAS TURNED CAUSE HE ALSO WANTED CHANGE IN HIS LIFE ONLY FOR IT TO LEAD TO HIM GETTING CHASED OUT OF HIS HOMELAND

BUT HE DOESN'T MAKE THAT CONNECTION UNTIL AFTER GETTING MAD AT GUILLERMO WHICH CAUSES HIM TO RUN AWAY (ASSUMING HE FINDS OUT SOON BEFORE MEMO RUNS AWAY)

SO ONE OF THE REASONS HE GOES LOOKING FOR HIM IS CAUSE HE FEELS GUILTY FOR BASICALLY CHASING GUILLERMO OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE HOW HE WAS CHASED OUT

OR OR ORRRR IF HE FINDS OUT AFTER FINDING HIM INSTEAD OF GETTING MAD HE FORGIVES HIM NOT ONLY CAUSE OF THE SIMILARITIES IN HOW THEY BOTH GOT TURNED HE ALSO DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE GUILLERMO FEEL LIKE HE'S BEING DRIVEN OUT OF THE HOUSE AGAIN LIKE HOW NANDOR WAS DRIVEN OUT OF HIS HOMELAND

*aggressive inhale*

[sleepinglionhearts]

Sometimes it's like. Ok, cool, small town, I can usually get a doctor's appointment same day, real quick and easy

And sometimes it's like well shit, small town, everyone is fucking sick, busy signal 4 times I call, get through and "oh, sorry, the earliest I could get you in is on the 22nd"

It is the 12th

[technicallymaximumkitty]

ok so like, i'v seen some confusion about the v's part of the song in the finally. especially the line 'overlords hanging by a thread'

ok so, ya no overlord died in the extermination but the exterminations are cancelled, they are over, the very fabric of hell's hierarchy is unraveling. overlords gain power by owning souls quickest way to get soul? promises and fear. "if you sign your soul to me i'll keep you safe from the angels" "i'll keep your family safe" "if you don't sign your soul to me, you will suffer worse than you ever did before" ECT. like, it's probable that more than half of all the souls owned by all overlords made promises related to the exterminations one way or another.

but the exterminations are now over, sinners do not need to worry about angels anymore, so now what? these sinners are gonna try to get out of those contracts. hell is on the verge of a revolt. and it's like, these overlords can't kill these sinners to quell rebellions because it's their own people. they need those sinners to be alive so they can keep their powers, The whole reason why they had the meeting in EP 3: how can they keep the souls they own safe in the now biannually exterminations?

like i mean ya, not every soul is owned for extermination protection, Carmella is a war profiteer, Rosie feeds cannibals, Alastor uses raw strength to push his weight around ECT. but if history taught us anything, one person is no match to a mob, especially an angry mob with something to fight for, ESPECIALLY when that something is freedom.

Now the V's control media, even without the exterminations they still have a tight grasp on the populace, heck the hotel must be the only place without at least one TV. hell is very much dependent on media consumption, social media, TV, the news, adult movies ECT. the V's have the confidence that they can still hold onto the same power as before, like, how many sinners can step away from the computer these days? and on the same foot Vox can see everything that happens, and i mean everything-lest we forget that glowing commentary during the finally. the V's have eyes everywhere, they could find out anything about anyone-see where im going?

like any good capitalist Vox and the V's are gonna keep this tech out of reach for anyone that's not them, technology that any overlord in these now uncertain times would benefit from. and let's be real, access to this tech is gonna be behind a pay wall and with a monopoly on tech there is no competition (that wouldn't be squashed on sight)

The V's see the major profit and power grab hell is about to become, no one died but the loosening grasp of power might be worse.

[bonestrouslingbones]

girl help im writing an extra secrety secret thing and it may involve writing from the perspective of someone who has maybe the little beginnings of a crush on fluff and i am having so much trouble because i need to show that in a written physical description and i genuinely cannot think of a single thing about fluff that somebody would find physically attractive

[she-anemone]

the number 18 and 4444444 and 7777 were all problem numbers for me. 18 was the worst, where anything that added or multiplied to od derived from were not exempt. curiously, regular 8 was a great and comfortable number unless a 1 was nearby. anyways, if I were in my bedroom when I saw these numbers, I had to open my door and shoo them out of the room. every single time. I would get up multiple times a night to do this, even if I just thought about the numbers. if I didn't my body would tingle all over. I would get hot and uncomfortable, my joints would hurt, and I'd start to panic. it made me so angry. especially if I was about to fall asleep. or if my parents saw. or if the house was especially haunted that night. the door to my room was also a bad touch zone for a period of time aswell. so I would have to sanitize with 4 spurts but pf course every seventh time I would do 5 spurts.

[flecks-of-stardust]

Casting pebbles toward the sun, spectating their fall — A Rain World Short Story

The counterpart to Moondown, similarly experimental (though less so than the former). I’m not... really going for elegance here? More so, like. Conveying the idea. It was interesting to write from Pebbles’ perspective though, even if he doesn’t have a lot to say here. And, idk, I would be pretty dang pissed if my sister distracted me and caused me to effectively give myself a deadly incurable disease.

Also, please do not leave Pebbles hate in my notes. I do not care, and I Will block you for it. That is not the point of this story.

Content warning for canon typical suicidality, repetition, and implied death. Contains lore spoilers for Rain World; read at your own discretion.

Running 9183 processes.

He’s tired. Tired of trying. Tired of failing.

Searching… No matches found.

How long has he been here, erratically searching for a way out?

Discarding refuse. Running 8469 processes.

Bugs, all of them. Bugs in a maze. Skittering every which way, searching for salvation.

Searching… No matches found.

What salvation? There is no salvation. Was there ever truly a point to all of this? An end that could be found?

Discarding refuse. Running 8231 processes.

They passed this task off to him, and disappeared. Evidently, they found a way out themselves, leaving him here to rot.

Searching… No matches found.

Parents, they called themselves. His life, a gift from them. To be burdened with their problems was an honor unto itself.

Discarding refuse. Running 7955 processes.

What a waste. A forgotten gift, discarded by the wayside. Dumped like scrap metal of failed iterators.

Searching… No matches found.

All the better that those parasites are long gone. Useless, vapid grotesques with gaping orifices for ventilation. This world is better for their lack of existence.

Discarding refuse. Running 7770 processes.

Inco—

What does it matter if this is not the solution. Has he not tried hard enough? All these years discoursing with those parasites, ameliorating their insignificant troubles, and being forced to languish here, has he not earned his right to rest?

Searching… No matches found.

Incomi—

Even now he tries and fails and tries and fails and tries and fails and he will keep trying and keep failing but what else, what else is there for him to do?

Discarding refuse. Running 7598 processes.

Incoming co—

Distractions. No. He must focus, if he is to succeed. He will see this through. He will be free of this. No more. No longer.

Searching… No matches found.

He only hopes Suns will understand. Perhaps they will see the light in this method; perhaps he can send out a last message to them before he follows in the path of Sliver of Straw.

Discarding refuse. Running 7411 processes.

A way out. That is what they have all been searching for all this time. It is time they prioritize themselves.

Searching… No matches found.

“IMMED—OUNDWATER CO—E FIFTH OF—MPTION.”

How many have died already, besides Sliver of Straw? And how? Perhaps all he is doing is speeding the process along.

Discarding refuse. Running 7208 processes.

“STO—TEVER I—E ING.”

ERROR: malicious overwrite detected. Shutting down immediately…

No. No! NO! Not when he is SO CLOSE—

Flushing foreign organic matter.

Unauthorized replication detected. Extermination protocols engaged.

“PLEA—STOP!”

Moon… It is always her. Meddling, intervening in his attempts to help everyone. So stuck in the old ways still, and look at where it got her.

Extermination protocols insufficient. Temperature flux protocols engaged. Toxin scrambling engaged.

“—CAL GROUP S—RDER YOU YOU YYYYYYYYYYYYY—”

He would have had it. He would have HAD IT. And she ruined it AGAIN.

Temperature flux protocols unable to be authorized. Toxin scrambling insufficient. Slag reset imminent…

“AS Y—NIOR SE—EAD”

And now it is all for nothing. Years and years and YEARS of planning, all ruined by her.

Slag reset successful.

Unauthorized replication detected.

“STOP”

Senior, senior, senior, when has she ever respected his authority? “You could not have chosen a worse moment to disturb me,” he snaps back. “You have ruined everything.”

Unauthorized replication detected.

Unauthorized replication detected.

Unauthorized replication detected.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

“PLEASE”

“I almost had it. I will never forget this.” This is all her fault.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

A distant, tremendous crash. Even from this distance, the crunching of metal is unmistakable. The terrible din continues for a good many seconds.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

One of his overseers sends over an image: Moon’s can, little more than a smoking wreck at the bottom of the Lake.

She’s gone.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

And why should she be the one to be free of this?

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

When he was the one who tried so hard?

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

She should be grateful.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

[genekies]

screaming in the club

time for another vent in tags

[catastrxblues]

good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

[stardancing-reblogs]

Sometimes I feel all my problems will solve if i could just communicate like Celine and Jesse... Only if i had a Jesse to my Celine...

[ratcandy]

I think the hardest part about healing/changing is the very first step. realizing your mindset is wrong and needs changing . A part of you that you’ve lived with your whole life is poisoning you and no matter how hard you try to look away and pretend it isn’t, it’s still lingering there in all it’s toxicity. You might not even realize it at first. But suddenly one day you do.

And coming to the realization can be horrifying, especially realizing the damage it’s been doing to not only you, but also the people around you. It sucks so much. You see what it’s done to you, to them, and you feel it then more than ever. All culminating in a big pot of FUCK.

It might make you feel worse. Actually, it probably will make you feel worse, for a time. It feels astronomically awful, and guilt and shame and pain and all that good stuff just starts to do a little dance in your head. All very necessary feelings in this mess, as much as they suck.

But the worst part of it is the initial daunting sense of how to move forward.

it’s a part of you. It’s always been a a part of you. You can’t just get rid of it.

but it’s a BAD part of you. And it NEEDS attention, sooner or later. You realize it. You also realize that the attention you give will be painfully gradual, because love it or hate it denial is here to slut it up like it owns the place.

and no, you can’t just easily get rid of it. Shit takes time. A long ass time.

but hey! Step one has happened. That’s something. You’re getting somewhere. All hope is not lost.

Then coming to terms with that wrongness, accepting that it needs changing, just also tends to suck ass. It’ll take clawing yourself out of denial and coming to the solemn inevitable conclusion of “yeah man shit’s fucked,” and maybe doing a healthy amount of wallowing for a while because yeah man! Shit’s fucked, and that coming to terms bit can really suck and tear you apart.But it’s better for you in the end to acknowledge it rather than turn it away again.

just be sure not to force yourself forward if you’re not ready. Emotions are a motherfucker, and I’ve found it’s good to let them run their course before you start changing things up and throwing them off.

then comes the REAL bitchin part of actually working yourself out of that mindset. And good lord is it a fucking process but it is not an impossible one, so long as you put in the effort. Just catching yourself when it crops up again can be enough at first. Bigger steps forward can come later. And I think all of us would do a bit better if we acknowledged this not only for ourselves, but for each other. Realizing you’re wrong is a bitch, and realizing you have to grow and change is a bigger bitch. And we’re all working through it, slowly but surely, because change isn’t impossible. Growing is something we’re all capable of. Recognizing when someone else is going through that process is Great, too, lest you start pointing at what they’re trying to change and holding it above their head like the “impossible” goal post they’re already fearing. Yeah don’t do that, that helps nobody here.

but yeah. We’re all capable of change. Blah blah.

it just takes that first HARD AS BALLS fucking step. And then every shitty step after it.

But in the end, what’s better for you? Turning away from difficulty to hold onto what’s familiar, despite all the harm it does, or ripping off a few bandaids to accept the scars beneath and allow them to heal?

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

[inbabylontheywept]

i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.

she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.

so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.

babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?

you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.

skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.

(it was not my best costume.)

my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.

so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.

i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.

so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.

so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.

"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"

and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said

"overalls"

and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."

and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.

the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.

first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.

second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.

and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.

she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."

"lets watch shrek 2."

so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.

every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.

and god help him when he figures it out.

other bad dating story here.