#this is now a rogue stan account

[ffverr]

"You killed those, sugar. Now you get me"

[sophiewith7es]

some of my six of crows modern headcanons xx

nina and inej are taylor swift and phoebe bridgers best friends

inej is vegan and i will not be explaining myself

matthias’ snapchat username is matthiashelvqr but jesper’s is animal_loverjes123 because he made it when he was nine

wylan is scared of planes but not helicopters

jesper is scared of helicopters but not planes

nina and inej listened to midnights together when it was first released

jesper got matthias into star wars

jesper loves the prequels and clone wars, matthias prefers the original trilogy and rogue one

both nina and jespers first bi panic was watching pirates of the caribbean

kaz has a secret fear of escalators so he always takes the stairs even though it actively causes him more pain

kaz and wylan watch criminal minds together in silence, but they both say the line about tracy lambert together

matthias falls asleep to animal documentaries narrated by david attenborough

inej jesper and nina are big greys anatomy fans

wylan’s first crush was teenage simba

matthias plays rugby

they have a book club (audiobook for wylan)

they read the acotar series and all had vastly different opinions

nina was an avid zoella watcher

kaz doesnt pay for any streaming services but has all of them anyway, jesper also doesn’t pay but uses everyone elses

matthias pays for the netflix account though

him and nina share one profile and everyone else has their own profile

nina cried when they took new girl off netflix

kaz says he prefers dc over marvel just to cause conflict

jesper read percy jackson growing up and still has the same battered copies he read as a kid in his room no matter where he lives

nina was a harry potter reading child and also still has her original copies of the books

HARRY POTTER REWATCH MOVIE NIGHTS!!!!

wylan is a secret marauders stan

nina jesper inej and wylan are all marauders era fans but wylan is soooo much worse

wesper = wolfstar

jesper’s favourite movie is the breakfast club

kaz says his favourite movie is fight club but it’s actually fantastic mr fox

kaz follows six people on instagram: inej and all the members of one direction

he does that to piss the others off

jesper went viral on tik tok one time

matthias loves oasis (both the band and the drink)

nina fought for eras tour tickets and managed to get them all tickets

kaz is going as reputation (his usual attire) jesper as lover, wylan as evermore, inej as speak now (she got the speak now dress), matthias as debut (they got him a cowboy hat) and nina as red.

matthias secretly cried over the how to train your dragon ending

matthias and inej read a lot of classics and share their collection, they both annotate the books as well and enjoy seeing what the other has written

kaz has a do not disturb sign on his bedroom door like in a hotel and puts it on the door handle even when he’s not in there

kaz is weirdly good with technology

jesper collects mugs

kaz and inej steal pint glasses from pubs

when inej and nina listened nothing new on red(tv) they lost their minds

kaz loves boygenius

matthias and wylan love modern family, wylan’s favourite character is gloria and matthias’ is jay

jesper loves formula 1 and its the only sport he’ll watch

nina and matthias play animal crossing together

kaz terrors jesper on terraria

when they play minecraft functionally, inej is the builder, jesper is the farmer, matthias and wylan mine, kaz has netherite armour in like half an hour and nina collects flowers and tames animals

when they play minecraft disfunctionally they just blow shit up

kaz plays the guitar

inej DEVOURED the cruel prince series

zoya and genya are nina’s foster/adoptive sisters

wylan is scared of clowns and is like that one episode of new girl when nick has to go into the haunted house

whenever jesper does something stupid or doesnt do something or whatever he says ‘#yolo’ and moves on and it drives kaz insane

jesper has muggies of everyone

inej takes 0.5 pictures of everyone when theyre sleeping without them knowing

matthias loves the hunger games series

kaz regularly predicts major global events

wylan loves breaking bad

[riacte]

“hold the line,” a familiar pfp on your dashboard declares. it’s a mutual. you don’t remember when you’ve followed them, you don’t remember when they’ve followed you, because they’ve always been there. you know their blorbo through osmosis, you know who they’ll campaign for. it’s a constant in mcytblr.

“hold the line,” you echo back, fingers trembling as you press the reddit app and carefully place a pixel. kermitcraft is now back to hermitcraft. good grief. the joke stopped being funny ages ago.

“vote for quackity!” “let’s go quackity let’s go!” you go back to tumblr. it’s 50/50. you watch with dazed eyes as the numbers change— 200, 45, 19, 8. they mean nothing, they mean everything. the thin line between grian and quackity fluctuates. your heart thumps, tense and anxious.

“hold the line!”

a ping from your discord, from your comrades in the r/hermitcraft server. not the lime green gme line starting up shit again. with a resigned sigh, you push the gme pixels back to their side.

“hold the line!”

the joehills stans are back. you voted for him in the first hour. you dutifully reblog the propaganda posts anyway. joe has lime green glasses. the gme line is lime green. refresh the stats page. still 50/50. hold the line.

“hold the line!”

oh god, not rogues on r/place. “please,” someone sobs, “we need to maintain peace with our biggest ally brasil.” we cannot afford another crisis. we must remain diplomatic. “HOLD THE LINE!” you blare into your microphone with a resounding @/everyone discord ping. we’ve got to keep our own people in check.

“hold the line!”

scar and techno’s fandoms are rallying. 20k votes, 30k votes, 40k votes. they rise to dizzying heights. another 50/50. there’s a spreadsheet. there’s fanart. there’s fanfic. your dash is in chaos. hold the line.

“hold the line!”

not the reddit void attacking, it creeps over and suffocates your pixels. regroup, rebuild, reapply the blush. it’s day three on r/place and it feels like forever. you’re obsessed. you’re getting too attached.

“hold the line!”

it’s the final minute. grian and quackity are trembling. messages fly by in your discord server as the countdown truly begins. it’s a reverse sweep, an underdog down to the very last second. we are in the metaphorical trenches. honourable allies, honourable enemies.

“hold the line!”

the gme line is our friend now, helping to maintain a sense of structure and stability after the void’s attack. the lime line is decorated with two nether portals. it’s cute. once upon a time, you hated those lime pixels. now, it’s your turn the place them.

“HOLD THE LINE!”

it comes from various people on your dash, text posts melting into one. time is ticking and running out. people are desperate jubilant relieved tense obsessed emotional joyous defeated victorious. we’ve lost track of the days and nights. new accounts flood in. they say the end is coming.

there’s a break.

the canvas expands again.

the fandom regroups.

there’s a break.

new colours are added, a beautiful collision of vibrancy.

(somewhere, someone posts their 8th picture of themselves as their sexyman campaign.)

(somewhere, someone adds a pixel of blush to a beloved mural.)

they say the end is coming. we’re exhausted, energised, exhilarated. so when someone says,

“hold the line—“

you hold onto it. grip onto it with your fingers, knuckles bleeding from countless cactus circles.

you hold the damn line.

[late-to-the-party-81]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

Thank you @metalbvcky. NPT for @mrs-illyrian-baby @doasyoudesireandlive @km-ffluv @labella420

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

As a teen I was a voracious reader and tried to write my own stuff based on other books I'd read. I also loved ST:TNG and wanted dearly to be in an episode and had lots of the books. I wrote my own ST stories with OC's (gratuitous self inserts), but they never went anywhere. In my late teens I read some Xena fanfic on the internet. But that was it for a great number of years.

At the beginning of 2021 I sat and watched the entirety of the MCU films in chronological order (I'd seen most of them before and was mainly a Thor gal.) I fell down the Stucky rabbithole. Deep. I decided to look up fanfic. AO3 was now a thing! I wrote (a very poor) Stucky fic and here we are, almost 3 years later

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

As my ST stuff never made it further than my parent's old PC in the days of dial-up, I won't count it.

I've written for MCU, various Chris Evans and Seb Stan Characters and one fic for RWRB. I've been toying with writing a one-off Criminal Minds fic as a gift for a friend.

🍈How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Three in July since I first published anything on AO3.

🍎Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I try to balance it out. If I have a period of hyperfocus writing I try to then go through a period of reading. I read on both Tumblr and AO3, so try to keep that even as well.

🍌What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Getting betas to pick me up on tense changes, overuse of words and rogue commas. Reading more. Practising. Writing outlines for longer stories so I don't go off-piste.

🍑Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Getting bored half-way through a long fic, especially if the first few parts haven't had a lot of interaction. Which is why I try to write the whole thing before I start posting.

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Engineering courses at MIT and, for a separate fic, Violet wands, including the ways to use them and the differnt types of accessories you can use with them. I even watched a Youtube video.

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any comment! Anything that gives me the validation I need!

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I wrote a transformation into Tsum-tsum fic that was both cracky and smutty. That's pretty niche.

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Action scenes. I loathe them. I'm constantly wondering if they are long enough, and make sense.

🍏What is the easiest type?

Short things that are either PWP or fluffy slices of life.

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Mainly on my elderly laptop on G-Docs, and in every moment I can - normally afterwork before dinner and on Mondays when I don't have work.

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

There are a few characters and ships I haven't written that I'd like to. And I suppose I'd like to write a proper long, over 100k fic at some point.

🍇 what made you choose your username?

When I made my AO3 account I felt as though that at 40, and only really starting in Fandom in this way, I was late to the party, so that is who I became.

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Hi Sea, Love your blog. I am not a blogger and only joined Tumblr because I thought I needed to to access all your content. I am a new Louis fan (since about June last year) and have read and watched everything I can find about him. And I have seen him in concert once. Not really interested in 1D unless it’s about him. This recent talk about ‘Larry’ is interesting. I can understand why people want to cling to the idea, especially after Liam’s death. Multiple people have denied Louis and Harry were ever involved romantically. Apart from Louis himself, Julian Bunetta, Max Hurd, Lou Teasdale, Stan Lucas, Felicite, Lottie, Gemma Styles and Liam have all denied ‘Larry’ existed. These are the people who actually know him. Liam offers an explanation at the end of this interview https://www.attitude.co.uk/uncategorised/liam-payne-talks-homophobia-accusations-and-gay-1d-fan-fiction-in-attitude-archive-interview-292644/

No doubt people will dismiss this and continue to believe in their fantasies. Pity Harry has never bothered to deny it, but I guess that’s because of his character flaws.

Thanks again for your wonderful blog.

Zayn has also denied Larry.

Even if there were ever anything (even a harmless crush), I bet at this point Louis wishes “Larry” was never an issue.

It’s not as simple as some fans being “delusional,” however. I think people who are involved, including Louis, Harry, and the marketing teams at Sony, have all used Larry to market to fans. It’s not always possible to tell whether this baiting is intentional; for fans, the ambiguity is the allure.

For example, fans have debated a lot about the activity of the rainbow bears in 2015, and someone made an hour-long debunk on YouTube, finally concluding that it was the work of a 1D sound engineer. To me, this oversimplification doesn’t account for why Sony would encourage a sound engineer to control the image of their multimillion-dollar stars. As we know from the Eroda campaign, Columbia Records has a whole marketing department monitoring fandom reactions. Would they really let a sound engineer go rogue on Larry, with a huge 1D fanbase? Second, how would the sound engineer have access to Louis’ and Harry’s twitter accounts?

Finally, in 2015, “Larry” was a multimillion dollar brand by itself, with millions of fans. It was the largest of Harry’s and Louis’ fanbases. HLD remains a larger update account than any solo UA, including any of Harry’s UAs, with higher rates of engagement. At that time, Larries ran more charity fundraisers, fandom projects, and streaming events than any other 1D subfandom. It’s hard for anyone to turn down this ready-made support for a solo career launch. Without Larry, Harry would not have been able to sprint out of the gate, and Louis might not have had such a fast rise in his solo career. In contrast, Niall, Liam, and Zayn have had to work harder. HSHQ and LTHQ might think Larries are a bunch of lunatics, but they love the free publicity.

This is the aspect that makes me very cynical about “Larry.” It is a double-edged sword for Harry and Louis, and I agree mostly it’s nostalgic nonsenses now.

But their fans are taking the brunt of the “delusional” accusations while it’s pretty clear to me that fans have been baited. Clear-headed Larries themselves would agree. Most have sunken too much cost in beliefs, labor, and time to back out, even if they know it’s nonsense.

On the flip side, just because there’s this unsavory marketing tactic doesn’t erase a lot of unusual and suspect things over the years, including things that fans have seen or known but are no longer talked about. Since all of these occurrences are hearsay, I’m not going to repeat any of them. I’m sorry but it just doesn’t matter that much to me. But knowing the past makes me more certain that Larry hasn’t been a thing for many years.

[louismygf]

Louis Birthday Tag Game 🎉

thank you @faithinlouisfuture for tagging me 😽😽😽🫶🏼 mwuah!

when did you become a louie?

i don't exactly know when bc i remember for the longest time denying to stan louis (or anyone for that matter) 😭 but late feb (completely missed the defenceless project bc i didn't have twitter then lol) to april of 2021 i think... february being like, oh this guy from one direction is neat i really like his music and april being, wow i have fallen in hell in love with louis tomlinson he is the only man ever

your earliest fandom memory?

WELL, on tumblr, i remember long hair louis with a guitar walking through an airport trended. immediately after he posted the rockstar pic (april 10) of him on instagram 🙏🏽 AND THEN, as a twitter user... this is so cursed but #iheartawards #louies #bestfanarmy 2021 😭 i think i once told myself i'd only keep up with louis on tumblr but not on twitter,, but because i already made a twitter account in april (solely for voting), it just stuck and thus, after iheart voting ended, my stan twitter account was born lol

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

i tend to pick two favorites so for walls it's fearless and only the brave and for fitf, all this time and lucky again

your favourite music video?

walls <3 and miss you when im feeling silly hehe

favourite gig?

ltwt manila 2022 😔😔😔😔😔😔🫶🏼 it meant the world to me 😭 louis was so happy and the crowd energy was so good. i don't know if anyone went live for my show but believe me when i say it was loudddd sksks louis was chatty and smiley and interactive and of course so so pretty. vocals were on point i could actually cry recalling the memories of him singing but Ugh it was 😔🫶🏼 those couple of hours were one of the best times of my life for real not even joking

favourite louis hair?

i love when louis' hair is on the longer side, live from london, walls hair or fitf but a bit longer, actual long hair louis Unstyled (now imagine how he'd look if it were styled), afhf hair of course like his hair in the documentary with him sitting and talking wearing his favorite black sabbath shirt And his hair wearing the iconic first ever 28op shirt. basically! long hair OR fluffy and messy <3

favourite louis interview?

the zach sang interviews and his interviews with olivia jones for total access

suit louis or tank top louis?

tank top 😋 but only by a tiny bit difference, he looks good in both!

favourite louis tattoo?

28! and the rogue + spiderweb is sick like the placement is v cool i think... tiny smiley on his thigh and duh the x smiley face too on his arm

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

big heart big brain big ass, the holy trinity. and actually also his hands,, and waist.... and. thighs yum...... and. ok im stopping here

thanks again for tagging me <3

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #637

Top Ten Mutants in Film & TV

Okay, so right out the gate I’m going to make a confession: I’ve not really read many X-Men comics. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read comics with X-Men in them; I’ve just not really read that much actual X-Men if that makes sense. So whilst I really like the concept of X-Men, and many of the stories, and many of the characters, it’s more or less all come from other media (or, y’know, other comics where Wolverine is in the Avengers or something like that).

So what this list is, really, is the characters that have popped for me across other media. And, let’s face it, that really accounts for two things (or maybe two-and-a-half): the Fox-produced X-Men movies – stretching from 1992’s original X-Men animated series, through the Fox-produced movies beginning in 2000, up to (I suppose) The New Mutants in 2020, and culminating in this year’s superlative resurrection with X-Men ’97, by way (of course) of the two Deadpool movies. Yeah, okay, there have been other X-Men thingies in the meantime (X-Men: Evolution, say, which I watched a little bit of, but which I mostly remember for its goth Rogue), but really these are the things I’m basing it on. Which movies and TV programmes have the best mutants? Which non-comics properties have produced my favourite X-Men-and-women-and-therotically-non-binary-people-like-Morph-in-the-new-show-but-I-guess-he’s-not-on-this-list-so-it-doesn’t-really-matter.

Anyway, despite being a cheat and a charlatan and obviously not a proper fan, I love the X-Men. I love their general superhero team dynamic; the basic, old-school appeal of Professor X’s X-Men versus Magneto’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. But I also – of course – love the nuance and allegory the story allows; how the mutants themselves, as a disenfranchised and distrusted distaff population, could be seen to be Blacks in America, or gays, or trans, or – flippin’ ‘eck – Jews and Palestinians, depending on how you squint. When I first came across the X-Men, it seemed like Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were specifically tying their (ahem) two white characters to Martin Luther King and Malcolm X; the community leader preaching non-violent acceptance and integration versus the leader who believed that their repressed and abused minority could not gain rights without violently seizing them from the bigots in power. That allegory is not so clear cut, and one of the wonders of the premise is there are so many ways you could read or interpret it; X-Men ’97 is spectacular in the way it appears to be addressing modern concerns, although I suspect any time you read/watch X-Men you’d think “oh, this is about now.”

Where was I? Oh yeah, my favourite mutant characters from X-Men or whatever; except, y’know, more based on films and TV because – as I’ve said – I haven’t read as many comics as I’d have liked.

Wolverine: yeah, pretty basic, but whatcha gonna do? The taciturn, gravelly drawl of Cal Dodd in the animated series is one thing, but really the heart and soul of Logan is Hugh Jackman’s barnstorm, epoch-defining, twenty-four-year-long run playing the character. His physicality, his screen presence, his badassery, but also his humanity, his warmth, his empathy; a man at war with himself who just wants peace, but is compelled to keep fighting. There’s a reason Wolverine became the most popular X-Man in comics, and thanks to the tremendous portrayals we’ve had elsewhere, he holds the same accolade in film and TV.

Ms. Marvel: oooh, controversial! The excellent Ms. Marvel TV series somewhat shockingly declared Kamala Khan to be a mutant, rather than the Inhuman of the comics (a decision that has made its way back to comics, too). So she definitely counts, even if she’s not (yet) an X-Person. But Iman Vellani’s super-charismatic, loveable portrayal ensures Kamala burns off the screen, a font of energy and optimism.  

Deadpool: this really is down to one man: Ryan Reynolds, whose portrayal in two movies (we do not speak of Origins) is so iconic that it doesn’t just define the character for most people, but it’s also an exaggeration and enhancement of Reynold’s own comic screen persona; who else could be Deadpool now? He’s sardonic and funny, he’s violent but also often kind, and he breaks the fourth wall in tremendous ways.

Jubilee: I really loved Jubilee when I was a kid watching the animated series; I was kind of annoyed that she didn’t feature much in the movies. The classic “kid-appeal” entry-level character, she was younger than her teammates and offered an uneducated lens through which to view the X-Men’s world. Plus she’s sparky (literally), funny, courageous, and a bit of a goof. And, frankly, I’ve always loved her yellow coat.

Magneto: ah, Magneto; one of the most interesting and complex characters in all of comics. Yes, he’s a bad guy; he’s done bad things to good people, he’s definitely killed, and he’s caused innocents to suffer. But he does have a sympathetic core, fuelled by tragedy and a righteous sense of “never again”. We all know how great Ian McKellen is, but let’s tip our hat to the performances of David Hemblen and Matthew Waterson in the animated X-Men and X-Men ’97, showcasing all the nuance and complexity of a great Shakespearean actor. Also: the bit where he escapes from prison in X2 is mint.

Professor X: a lot of my love for him here is just down to listening to Patrick Stewart’s authoritative brogue. He just sounds like he’s in charge, yeah? Whether it’s on a starship or in a school. The First Class prequel movies added a lot of the complexity and ambiguity to the character that was present in the comics (and, I guess, the animated series), fleshing out his Optimus Prime-esque moral certitude.

Rogue: ah, sugah, how mucha this is just down to my likin’ for Lenore Zann’s voice actin’? Rogue in the show is super cool, an unstoppable powerhouse with a wit and a mouth and a ton of opinions. Her relationship with Gambit was an ongoing comic delight that also offered some heart; and, by god, how that developed in X-Men ’97… Zann gives a phenomenal performance in the sequel series. I don’t want to forget Anna Paquin’s turn as a more tortured, less outspoken Rogue; taking the place of the younger audience surrogate characters like Shadowcat or Jubilee, you get the impression she might be on the road to full Carol Danvers-level powers, but she ain’t there yet, honey.

Nightcrawler: mein freund, I could talk about the coolness of Nightcrawler – his design, his accent, his powers, the way he reconciles his faith with the world he inhabits and the prejudice he’s faced – but let’s just distil it to its essentials. Like Magneto, he has one of the greatest, coolest, most impressive comic book movie scenes of all time; the opening of X2. I still have no idea how they did that twenty years ago.

Gambit: his girlfriend may be called Rogue, but Gambit is a rogue; a loveable cad, a jack-the-lad type, a gambler and a grifter and someone with – to coin a phrase – a lot of red in his ledger. I used to love his style (another cool coat!), his accent, his weird black eyes, and his brilliant relationship with Rogue. I really rooted for those guys, y’know? And then X-Men ’97 happens and – as my next mutant would put it – oh my stars and garters.

Beast: Kelsey Grammar is, I have to say, pretty spot-on casting for the officious, academic, and loquacious Hank McCoy; although I don’t think he quite captured his sense of fun. However, the definitive Beast – and still the voice I hear in my head – is George Buza. He’s smart and funny; of course I gravitated towards him as a nipper. Shout out to tomorrow’s Lex Luthor, Nicholas Hoult, who gives Hank a good deal of pathos in the First Class era films.

[callmearcturus]

here's the thing, because I've been obsessing over this shit

so Tom Cruise got into his horrible death cult of self-improvement metrics and almost torched his career by jumping on a couch and being an unbearable person who picked said cult over family

so Paramount was like "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh we GUESS you can do another Mission Impossible movie buuuuut we want it to be Cruise's last one, and here is Jeremy Renner fresh out of The Hurt Locker, perfect dude to take over"

this was an early flag of the Disneyfication of our media, obviously, the way cinema is/was being turned from an important craft lead by actors where directors had a lot of swing over how a film was made, and is now becoming consumable serial culture that is more about building on the recognition of a previous installment than anything related to the Art of Cinema. which is bad for literally every person involved but the studio executives.

and so Tom Cruise goes "fuck you actually" and climbs the Burj Khalifa while suspended on a single wire that was so narrow, they didn't even need to edit it out in post for more scenes. Paramount was going to make him into another disposable cog and he refused by showing no one else can do this, so back off.

In the finale of Rogue Nation, there's this sequence where the main villain, Solomon Lane I think, has kidnapped Benji and strapped a bomb to him and is using a contact lens camera to look at Ethan Hunt. He wants the MacGuffin list of bank accounts Hunt has. And Cruise/Hunt looks directly into camera and says "I am the disc, without me you have nothing." Which is about as subtle as a brick to the face.

Cruise has done an interesting thing with his public persona in the wake of how he nearly torched his career. Dom Nero, one of the EotD hosts, talks about his time working at/with Esquire Magazine and how even with this megahit movies no one floats the idea of doing a story on Cruise because its just a Known Fact that Cruise doesn't do profiles. He will talk to you about movies but otherwise, fucking forget it.

He's a man who has black boxed his personal life until he's basically fashioned himself into an avatar of cinematic craft. He doesn't want anything of himself out in the world except that one thing; the craft the craft its all about the craft.

So here is my existential crisis, is that since the Disneyfication of cinema, since we've reached this age of extreme disposability of film, where the stratification of risk-tasking films vs the anemic cowardly installment-based franchise is so fucking stark... I kind of hate films? I didn't used to, but I hate how little craft there is anymore. It sucks. It makes me think of film as, barring aberrations like John Wick and EEAAO, there is nothing there for me. There is no big budget movie that actually cares about being a showpiece. It's all googling what order you're supposed to watch the latest MCU arc in.

And the thing is that once this one weirdo cultist actor finally goes too far and gets himself killed on set, there is no one else. No one else has the power to go "I want to make a movie" and have the cache to make something happen. No one else stands up for sheer craft and cinema history.

This sounds like I'm a Tom Cruise Stan, and nnnnope. This is the crux of my existential terror about movies is that he is the only one doing this shit. Either this motherfucker is going to brute force a revival of cinema that gives a shit about more than CGI and setting up The Next Installment, or he's going to die for the cause.

I wish there were other people doing the damn thing. But also, doing the damn thing means climbing the Burj Khalifa. It means hanging off the side of a plane during takeoff in 27F weather and nearly getting killed by a pebble. It means doing 100 HALO jumps to get 3 good takes. It means whatever the fuck his batshit stunt is going to be in Dead Reckoning Part 1.

And all of that is so fucking much to demand of a human being, I guess it makes sense the guy willing to sign up and do it is the most well-known member of The Cult Of Self-Improvement.

The whole situation is weird. It feels like cinema itself is on the line.

i'm having an existential crisis about tom fucking cruise because the Eye of the Duck podcast's miniseries profiling the Mission Impossible movies

/stares at the wall

[nightcolorz]

Random Gotham Rogues Headcanons

(In honor of all the wonderful people who wanted more after my last post, yes I see y’all)

*Jonathan has a huge sweet tooth, the poor bastard didn’t try sugar until he was like 12 and eats candy like it’s his last meal.

*He’ll forget he needs food to live for way too long and eat a gallon of ice cream or some shit that’ll give any sensible man heart palpitations and just be like “😐👍”.

*Selina tells the newer rogues she was raised by cats to freak them out, Jervis still believes her. (Tbf, Selina does walk around with a cat tail on hissing at people and purring on their laps, I don’t blame him).

*Edward has a tiktok account that he made to fule his own ego, he’s a fragile little shit, literally all of his hate comments have video responses (as you can imagine, Edward gets A LOT of hate comments).

*One time a teenager called Edward “submissive and breedable” and he was too baffled to make a clap back.

*The Rogues have a surprising amount of stans. Ivy’s fan base consists mostly of lowly simps, Joker gets stopped on the street daily by greasy redditors and zealous scene kids.

*No one likes Joker, he thinks it’s because he’s “Batman’s favorite” (it’s not).

*For a while Joker has been insistent that he fucked Bruce Wayne once at one of his many parties, no one believes him except for Harvey (begrudgingly).

*He says it’s “Perfectly in character for Bruce” as much as he may hate it.

*Selina denies everything.

*Oswald and Jonathan share solidarity as “the weird bird people”. At first Oswald was a little put off that Jonathan only held knowledge of crows but soon got over that when he realized that now he had an excuse to infodump on someone who might actually be interested.

*Every time Jonathan visits Oswald’s aviary to pick up Nightmare and Craw Oswald jumps at the opportunity to talk about his numerous birds in excess, Jonathan’s a surprisingly good listener.

*Despite Edward and Joker’s long term rivalry Edward has remained relatively civil when faced with Joker’s constant egging on. That is until one iconic day in Arkham Asylum when Edward beat the absolute, ever loving shit out of Joker in the cafeteria. To this day no one knows what exactly got him to snap, not even Joker.

*Harley keeps a scrapbook about all her misadventures + friendships as a rogue, she has a habit of taking pictures of the others at the most inappropriate times (during a heist, while being beaten to a crisp by Batman, ex).

*One time Harley asked Batman to pose for a picture to put in her scrapbook, he obliged to everyone’s surprise.

*Edward is wholly insistent that he doesn’t belong in Arkham, and is convinced he’s completely sane. He’s weirdly obsessed with the fact that Oswald is sane “as well” and will make unprompted snide remarks like: “Blackgate sounds terrific, unfortunately I’ve been misplaced among MORONS, it’s a shame that the system is too incompetent to properly judge my un-categorizable psyche.”

*Oswald usually responds with a simple “🙂👍” or “ok” to avoid conflict, disagreeing with Edward could be catastrophic.

*Art therapy is an occupational hazard for all the Arkham staff. (Seriously, who thought giving super villains an outlet to express themselves was a good idea).

*Edward can’t draw so he spends his time harshly criticizing the other rogues art, that’s caused more than a few fights. The one time Edward’s ever actually done art in art therapy was when he drew a green triangle and explained in complex detail how he colored it to perfection.

*Jonathan is no longer allowed to share his art with the group before having it reviewed by a staff member after emotionally scarring a few patients. He’s one of the few rogues who presents his art every time, just to see the disturbed looks on the others faces when he explains whatever twisted art piece he came up with this time.

*Jervis is probably the most dedicated artist of the bunch, he‘s not allowed to make himself any hats (for obvious reasons) but he’s still a very skilled seamstress and has a very interesting art style (Jervis tries not to draw anything explicitly linked to Alice in Wonderland in fear of getting repercussions, as rogues often do when they engage with their ‘personas’).

*Harvey isn’t very technically skilled in drawing, but Harv usually spices their art up enough to make it interesting. Their drawings are always two themed, as expected. One time Edward criticized a painting of theirs for being “too unrealistic” and Harv had to manually restrain himself from kicking Edward in the teeth.

*Victor can’t draw either, but he writes pretty good poetry. His writing is excessively melodramatic and flowery, and his themes even more so. Half of the presentation period is spent listening to Victor muse about the meaning of life or some shit, his poems are VERY long.

*Waylon and Ivy are the obligatory pretentious painters, both have a fondness for flowers (for very separate reasons). The two will often compare their paintings and wax poetics about the beauty of nature or some bullshit before never speaking again. That’s one of the positives of Art therapy, it brings rogues together who would otherwise not grant each other a passing glance.

*Group therapy is just as (if not more) atrocious than Art therapy.

*The only one who ever talks is Joker (and sometimes Harley, but way less).

*Joker is the embodiment of an irl troll, he does a much better job at getting responses from the other rogues in therapy than the therapists ever could (usually hostile responses but still).

*Occasionally a new and bright eyed therapist will try and coax childhood memories out of the rogues, it never ends well (usually with the rogue or the therapist in hysterics).

*The majority of the Arkham staff are either terribly unqualified or terrible period.

*Music Meister lived with Edward for a short while after escaping Arkham together but he was promptly kicked out because he wouldn’t stop singing.

*Selina and Ivy had a huge argument once because Selina’s cats nibbled on Ivy’s plants.

Okay this post is all ready super long so I’m gonna end it here, as I said last time I can always make more if you guys like these (I’m not running out of headcanons anytime soon!)

[allthebestscreennamesaregone63]

tagged by @xplore-the-unknwn Thanks for the tag!!

(rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better)

name: I go by Livia Rosethorn online if I must give a "real name". I go by "Scrabble" at work... there's a joke there, feel free to ask about it. I may make up another name, just for lols... OH! Also Mortalia Westinra.

star sign: Aries

height: 5′6.5″

time: 1:35 pm

birthday: April (Aggressive Incoherent Mumbling)

favorite bands/artists: so many... right now, I like Ashnikko, Rain Paris, and Aronchupa/various artists. MCR is of course a classic, and my "guilty pleasure" band is of course panic! at the disco. I also got a twitter account for Ice Nine Kills, so they are of course pretty high up there too, since we all hate twitter and its associated drama.

last movie: I think I rewatched Rogue One? Maybe?

last show: Star Wars: Rebels.

when did i create this blog: 2012 I believe. (I'm an ancient entity, fear me.)

what i post: Star Wars, horror, funny things, random shitposting...

last thing i googled: a 1973 version of Walking Tall. My grandparents couldn't remember an actor's name and I love being helpful. It's my toxic trait. <3

other blogs: um... I have twitter for my faves ICE NINE KILLS, and for them only. I have Facebook, but I rarely use it.

do i get asks?: no. I got anon hate the last time I made a post about Br*cenat, but that's on me for being a former marvel stan. I would love some asks! Please come bother me! :D

following: "Got a secret, can you keep it..." - The Pierces

average hours of sleep: too much... 9 to 10 hours a night if I can manage. (My depression manifests as lethargy, you see.)

instruments: I'm looking into guitar and drums but ultimately the violin or fiddle is appealing to me for some reason.

what i’m wearing: A R2-D2 shirt and black shorts. I'm actually sticking to my chair. Its uncomfortable.

dream job: Archivist. Librarian. College Professor. Something NOT IN RETAIL, WHICH SUCKS ASS.

dream trip: I'd like to go to Italy? Or Spain? Possibly to Japan.

nationality: Assigned American at Birth. It's terminal.

favorite songs: At the moment, I'm fond of an Uncle Kracker song that was rereleased on iTunes called "Break U Off." Originally on Osmosis Jones Soundtrack, and it is a banger. I also like "Toxic Love" sung by Tim Curry. I want them to rerelease the Ferngully soundtrack, and I'm no longer asking politely.

last book i’ve read: Currently reading Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising. I also need to finish an Animorphs reread.

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: New Rome (Rick Riordan), Mysterious Benedict Society's World, and possibly Anita Blake's St. Louis... Or maybe Tortall/Winding Circle.

Time for you guys to answer these questions!

I tag... nobody, actually. I don't want to be a bother.

[ffverr]

‼️THIS IS NOW A ROGUE STAN ACCOUNT ‼️

[wolfsneedles]

ngl i get the asoiaf neutral think now no its actually nice someone is neutral and doesn't say or drag characters too of course but majority i see here are v v biased from inside against character then stan perfectly flawed characters too no doubt we all do, but then they get so rogue rude and block or mock someone for criticising their fav characters.....and honestly ive only seen anti meta or posts against ONE character in asoiaf fandom and we all know who she is. its not something then that can account u as neutral no matter how many times you say this, im really straight when it comes to asoiaf characs i like: dany, arya, jaime, catelyn, bran heck even robb and brienne! (theon also counts and so many others) however, of course in the endgame i want or would want one particular choice of person on throne, u can never be neutral when ur reading book ur first thought is sympathy or hate or dislike or like for character! but i think some neutrals only um...some since i know a lot many here, who hate openly on other characters and sidetrack them, v main characters too but seldom are ready to hear analysis of their fav characters and get v pretty much rude and block you immediately - idk this means you dont really count as neutral then either because if some stans of one woman annoys you there are rabid and intense stans of other character who always always bring down the main characters (ofc i mean the teenagers who are always pitted against each other) and then bundles of neutral ppl like and interact w v v v problematic haters and lovers of stan character, when they could have remained 'neutral' u seen. (plus idk but from inside you always feel or like one more than other and still if u pose as neutral- its actually good u mean to avoid problems and discourse and it makes sense too but some are hypocrite. straight up. they dont really like all characters or as neutral would they kind of hate/express/make metas/write awful posts against one or two characters a lot, and if this irritates the stans of that character, they quickly take the high noble seat of being 'neutral' and same way goes for shippers. ppl here ship proper siblings together which is def incest but dont see problem with it however if someone ships a man and woman who are aunt and nephew..... they get terrible allegations of being terrible horrible stans for just..shipping characters that are foreshadowed even to meet each other ( its ok ofc if u dont ship anyone cuz im not hardcore shipper at all but some ppl are! - and both sides make each other feel bad). same goes for age gap ships lol, Only R/L ive seen in few months personally are hated intensely or tooo much and its okay if u dont ship or hate but those ppl who do SHIP them bcs hey,,,everyone has their guilty pleasures and things, those ppl get labelled as pedophi*es and pe*o apologism, when its not that at all, grrm write or wrote his characters with fucked up over sexualizations lets not forget that, and he writes only few wholesome relationships, if ppl stan literal real siblings i mean who aren't siblings but were raised as step-siblings with no emotions or feelings dramatically mentioned in books, then a ship of pre asoiaf time isn't pedo (but only if u use modern ethics and criticism to not ship them and def hate incest/shipping/age gaps) but a lot of ppl wo read books, know its george and his problem of writing characters like this even making dany/drogo scene consensual when...it wasnt and dozens of terrible sexist remarks of JAIME EVEN hurled towards brienne but hey its just ship not that deep, yet only few ships get hate here and other terrible ships w abusive men in asoiaf books dont get hate. (overall hate idea of ship cuz it erases a characters persona ofc when ppl fight over people they wanna ship with someone else and that character becomes just a character meant to be shipped).

also ppl say dont pit teenage characters, women, against each other but then....they do pit them against each other we all know lol and they do fight over it and some stans are more cruel than others for always doing it. others who say dont pit characters against each other might also back them up saying hey its ok they are just neutral maybe but they aren't....they are clearly taking sides openly!.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 10

Connections

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, the party arrived in Cauterdale, the heavily-fortified port city at war with nature. They arrived in search of members of the Deathseekers' Guild- the organization of professional adventurers and monster-hunters that likes to be very up-front about its mortality rate- to handle a dragon problem that they're personally a little underleveled for.

While Looseleaf had a fateful encounter with the Plot at the Temple of Andra, Saelhen and Oyobi were headed to the barracks of the city guard, to speak to "Mags", the guard on duty when the local Deathseekers were last seen leaving town. And there...

You remember Medd Cutter, right? Highly-memorable Medd Cutter, the NPC who got oneshot by a T-rex and whose life the party saved? Well, to spite Rex... whatever his last name was, the pro-patria-mori asshole guard captain guy, Saelhen has decided that she's going to start spreading the word of Medd's heroism.

Oyobi, unfortunately, is bent on spreading the word of her own extremely ill-advised heroism, and so the two are having some sort of hype-off as they make their way into the barracks and effortlessly charm their way past the guards to where their quarry is posted.

These two are manning some sort of huge brass contraption, bristling with lenses and dials. One of them is a yuan-ti pureblood- which there are an unusual number of in the city guard, compared to the general population. Weird. Saelhen politely introduces herself, and Verity Truescale refers them to Magnaranth aka Mags, the loxodon who last saw the Deathseekers leave town.

Mags doesn't have a huge amount to tell them- the Deathseekers, evidently, were going hunting, out east somewhere. They brought a lot of torches, so apparently they were headed somewhere dark? Underground, maybe? They were pretty cagey about what exactly they were going out to do. Still, Mags can provide the names and addresses of the Deathseekers in question.

...And Verity, checking the instruments, notices that something is wrong with the tides- apparently something large is disturbing the waters, but they can't quite pinpoint what- it's not any of the usual suspects, which include things by the name of "Darkie" or "Unnessie". Ominous!

After that, the party meets up at the local Temple of Iska, their designated rendezvous point. They catch each other up on their gains, and decide... well, the Deathseekers are going to be back within a couple days, so they'll just wait for them in town and get going with them, to make sure things in Barley and Wheat go smoothly.

Of course, the question then is "where do we stay?"

Options aren't great- Cauterdale is crowded, and the B&B market is incredibly shitty. The best lodging is on Eman's Knee, the island just off the coast of Cauterdale, but getting the ferry over there is expensive, and resort lodging on a tropical island is also expensive.

That- you can't just- I mean, just because- I'm- I'm allowed to be predictable, okay???

(And anyway, it's Corolos where I ended up doing a murder mystery.)

So, Looseleaf gets a 24 investigating the town's B&B market, and finds a pretty good place! It's a weapons shop Saelhen noticed earlier, which is renting out rooms. The place has a huge fence topped with spikes, so they probably won't even get robbed!

Aria of War, as it happens, is run by an elderly yet ripped-as-hell tabaxi man, who Saelhen... vaguely recognizes.

Benedict I. (GM): So, this shopkeeper's coat is familiar to you. It's definitely not the same person, but you once knew a girl in Timber Towers named Toothbrush, with almost the exact same coat. Could be a relative! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Yeah, tabaxi have a lot of coat variation; it's not a safe bet that they're related, but Saelhen is willing to go out on a limb with him. "Good evening, sir, and I'm sorry to bother you, but I felt I had to ask..." Fish Especially: "No discounts." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Do you have any relation to a..." Was Toothbrush her real name? Benedict I. (GM): As far as you know! Tabaxi have weird names. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Toothbrush?" Fish Especially: He looks surprised. "Hold on, you know Toothbrush?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I knew I knew that speckle pattern." Saelhen smiles widely and without guile. "I met her in Timber Towers a while back. She played the violin." "More specifically, she couldn't play the violin, but she always failed very effectively." Fish Especially: "I'll be! Her theatre troupe doing all right for itself, then?" "Even with the noise of that awful thing?" "I never know what to think when she writes those letters..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Last I saw of them, they were doing pretty well for themselves! To be honest, I did a stint with them for a bit, they wanted advice on a traditional elven piece..." Saelhen leans in on her elbows. "Oh, she mangled it, but she compensated with charm and that one face. Her confident face, you know the one, where you think she's so confident that maybe it's supposed to sound like that?" Fish Especially: He laughs. "You do know my girl!" "She hasn't written in- I think a year, now. How's she been?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Oh, it's been so long, I'm barely an authority by now -- but I remember she was talking about taking classes in -- what was it..." "...oh, where are my manners -- I'm Saelhen du Fishercrown, it's a pleasure." Saelhen reaches out for a very unelven handshake.

That she says this is notable for one big reason: this is the first time she's used her real name, and not "Lady Noeru de la Surplus". Nobody else in the party has heard this before!

It's also notable because according to Fish Especially, Toothbrush thought Saelhen was dead- and he's going to let her know otherwise.

Anyway, the deal for rooms goes through without incident, and the night also goes without incident! As is entirely normal, they hear Vayen in the halls making some sort of attempt to sneak into Saelhen's room in the night... and this time, sighing and going "never mind" without even attempting to pick the lock for some reason.

In the morning... Looseleaf grills Saelhen on the name thing, and she confesses the truth of the matter to the whole party- who take it fairly well.

After team bonding, the party heads to the Temple of Andra to check in and see if the Deathseekers have showed up. And by the stablehand's account, they have- or at least, a bunch of weird old people showed up to meet with Gabbro.

Gabbro seems surprised to see them- he was under the impression that they'd leave the matter to them. The further involvement of the party should be unnecessary, right...?

Looseleaf: "Oh, yeah, I was going to let you know we were staying in town and ask for you to let us know when the deathseekers showed up, but, uh, judging by that meeting we interrupted, they're already back and right here." Gabbro: "That is correct," he says, as the stablehand leaves. "I was just briefing them on the mission, you see." "The situation is well in hand, so you needn't concern yourselves with it any longer." "That pesky dragon shouldn't be an issue." Looseleaf: "W-well, uh. I was, uh, we were, kiiiinda hoping to travel with you back to the dragon's tower." "I mean, it's our quest, so, it'd be nice to, for us to see it happening so we can be sure of it, y'know?" Gabbro: He looks somewhat taken aback. "That... seems... risky, don't you think?" "To bring along... certain... people?" Looseleaf: "We're going to stay very very far away from the action! We're not that dumb!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I assure you that we have no intention of fighting the dragon ourselves, sir." Gabbro: "Ah, yes, of course not..." "However..." He gives Looseleaf a pleading look. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And there are... certain persons in the nearby town, whose safety I would like to check up on. Personally." Looseleaf: He doesn't seem to want people witnessing the fight? It could be explicable through just, him being worried we'll get hurt. But it could also be, 'their deathseekers fight with methods that Orluthe in particular should not be allowed to witness.' Gabbro: "Ah, well, if that's the case... if you don't mean to get involved with the Deathseekers and their work..." Looseleaf: "We're not going to- we don't want any claim to the loot in the tower either, if that's a problem! Everything in the tower is you and your group's prerogative to deal with however we like."

Gabbro seems... put slightly more at ease, and decides to introduce the group to the ones who'll be their traveling companions shortly- the Cauterdale Deathseekers.

In order:

Doon Softbreeze, half-halfling rogue and all-around Grunkle Stan-type, friendliest with the party.

Kevin Softbreeze, Doon's soft-spoken herbalist husband and that's it, probably, just a gardener.

John Human, an extremely decrepit extremely human man who seems to make weird buzzing sounds when he speaks, as if with mouthparts instead of human lips.

Ryuusatsu Takuma, totally silent elf (not present at this meeting with Gabbro) who probably just doesn't like talking, is all.

Lady Fidelia Greatholder, heavily-armored and heavily-everything human noblewoman (also not present at this meeting), who- well, she shows up next session.

Gabbro makes a point of making clear to those present that Orluthe, who they'll be traveling with, is a cleric of Diamode- apparently they need to know this for some reason!

Doon's pretty friendly with the party, and offers to take on their job pro-bono- on the basis that, c'mon, if they could actually afford them, they wouldn't be knocking on their door for help. So it looks like they've enlisted some highly-capable dragonslayers with no ulterior motives! Fantastic.

Next time: The road back to Barley, and the tying up of a few loose ends in town. Saelhen needs to get her kimono back!

[theputterer]

this is now a Rogue Translator stan account

[suf-lives-rent-free]

Fragments

Everything below is just my opinion; I am in no way trying to say that how I feel about this is the one correct take or whatever.

I know a lot of people like this episode and what happens in it, but I don’t.  I totally understand that some people just don’t want to see any negativity, period, but negativity is not inherently bad or wrong.

Negative opinions, even about something you enjoy, can be valid too - regardless of whether you happen to agree with them or not.

Also I get very salty near the end of this, and that might be entertaining to people who stan this episode?

I am aware that a lot of people – the majority, I’m pretty sure – think that the episode is a masterpiece. And on some level, I see where they’re coming from with that assessment.

The episode is boarded beautifully, the backgrounds – especially during the training montage – are stunning as always.  The music is fantastic, and the performances are great too.  In these respects, Fragments is a stand-out episode; I agree.

(Like look at this.  Gorgeous.)

However, something that’s bothered me since I saw the episode is the writers’ decision to write it into the story that Steven shatters Jasper.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I just don’t get it.  I’m purposefully misinterpreting the story to say it’s bad.  Steven brings her back to life; and it’s not like he meant to do it in the first place.  I just don’t have the capacity to understand the sublime nature of the show’s storytelling.  I’m an SU crit and all I want to do is make the real fans feel about themselves for liking it.

Uhhhh... no.  Nah.  That ain’t it chief.

It’s true; I am not a writer.  I’m just a passive consumer of media.  However, I do not agree with the viewpoint that in order to properly understand or critique a thing you need to have the expertise and/or experience in order to make something similar.

For example, if I were to put something I drew when I was 10 years old next to something I drew yesterday, it shouldn’t take a person who has had an education in fine art to tell you that the latter drawing is better-looking than the former.

That’s how I approach media consumption and criticism; when I criticise a writing decision, I am doing so as a consumer.  I’m not saying I could write it better, or even that my opinion is objectively correct and the writer is wrong or bad.  I’m just saying that I didn’t like a thing.  Which, I would hope, is allowed?

Okay, defensive hedging over, back to the point; I don’t like that they had Steven shatter Jasper.

[I get markedly saltier from this point on, fyi]

Full admission of bias here: one of the things I really cherish about the original show is how they wrote Steven’s character; he’s a boy with interests that don’t rigidly conform to gender stereotypes.  He likes ‘boyish’ things and ‘girly’ things, and that’s okay; thats just him.  In cartoons when I was growing up, characters like Steven would be the butt of jokes about being ‘girly’ or thinly-veiled homophobia.  I find him very relatable, and I want to acknowledge that yes, that is probably a significant part of why I have such an issue with this episode’s twist.

I am not trying to say that he’s a perfect baby angel or whatever; Steven regularly gets frustrated and angry. He does some pretty manipulative and dickish things to people around him (stop trying to make Larsadie happen, Steven. It’s not going to happen).  He is a flawed character who fucks up sometimes. And he’s not 100% peaceful either; he acts violently when he defends himself against corrupted Gems and Homeworld Gems (and Crystal Gems on occasion *cough*Bismuth*cough*).  

However, he has a pacifistic temperament; whenever it’s possible, he prefers that problems be solved without needless violence or hurt.  And I like that; in most media, it’s rare to have a male protagonist who wants to solve their problems without jumping straight to punching things.

When he accidentally frees Centipeedle, he convinces the Gems to step off and allow him to try and rehabilitate her peacefully; he even notices that the Gems’ weapons are a trigger for her, and make them put them away.  He frees Lapis against the Gems’ wishes because he recognizes that keeping her prisoner is wrong, and when she steals the ocean, he talks it out and heals her so she can leave Earth peacefully.

He tries to aid Jasper when she starts corrupting, fixes Eyeball’s gemstone when she’s cracked and tries talking Bismuth down when she attacks him with the breaking point.  In all of these situations, his words and help are ignored or rejected; he’s forced to resort to violence.  And it traumatises him.  

We get an entire episode dedicated to the fact that he’s been struggling with processing these awful things that happened.

Even in Future, Steven shows hesitation about engaging in unncecessary violence; he gives into Jasper’s goading for a fight after what’s implied to be dozens of failed tries at making her come to Little Homeschool, and he spends an entire episode trying to keep Lapis from squashing the two rogue Lapis Lazulis. 

The only time he hops into a fight willingly is after Eyeball and Aquamarine hold Greg hostage, and even then they pose a clear threat to his and Greg’s safety and have made it clear that they want to hurt him emotionally and physically.  Even at that, he stops and switches tactics to talking them down as soon as they lose their focus and start bickering with each other.

(I mean, he fails.  But it’s the thought that counts.)

I personally find it really jarring that the writers found it appropriate to write it into the series that this same character – over the course of three (3) days – goes from disliking mindless violence for mindless violence’s sake to happily engaging in the destruction of plants and animals* and has done a total 180 on his willingness to spar with Jasper, to the point that he instigates their rematch.

*(You best believe plenty of small mammals and birds – y’know, like the nest Steven saved in the first episode – died as he and Jasper felled tree after tree, not to mention all of those displaced by the destruction of their habitats, and the potential loss of food sources from some of those trees.)

You’re telling me that it’s a reasonable character beat for this boy to gleefully laugh like an anime supervillain at his sudden new-found joy in fighting, then pin Jasper in place, taunt her for helping him get so strong, and hit her so hard that she breaks into pieces and dies?

You’re telling me that that’s an in-character thing for Steven Quartz Diamond Cutie-Pie DeMayo Universe do to another character?

(And yes I am purposefully dancing around talking about the mental health stuff because if I did that I’d have to go on a whole other tangent about Growing Pains and fuck I just don’t feel like it right now lmao)

Going back to Mindful Education, another big thing we see Steven struggle with is the idea that his mother shattered Pink Diamond.  This knowledge sits heavily with him; it makes him sympathetic to the Diamonds, even under the circumstances in which he sees them (escaping from the Human Zoo, and being on trial for said murder). 

He sees their grief, and he feels awful.  He questions who Rose Quartz even was.  He knows, based on what Garnet said, that Rose had to do it; there was no other way to free Earth.  But he still feels awful seeing the pain that Pink’s loss has caused Blue and Yellow Diamond.

In Steven Universe, shattering is clearly equated with execution/death multiple times.  When Pearl and Garnet fret over the crack in Amethyst’s gemstone worsening.  When Blue Diamond threatens to break Ruby.  When Bismuth introduces the breaking point, and Steven recoils at the sight of what it does.  If you want to take the fact that Gem shards are sentient and desperate to become whole again into account, you could even argue that it’s a fate worse than death. This particular act of violence is treated very, very seriously.

When we find out that Rose shattered Pink Diamond, there is a season and a half long arc unpacking the implications and consequences of this one action, and how this knowledge forever alters Steven’s mental image of his mother.  And she didn’t even kill anyone.  It was a lie!

In Steven Universe Future, Steven shatters Jasper 4 episodes before the end of the series.  And it’s only brought up twice; once for a big *gasp* moment during his breakdown in Everything’s Fine, and in I Am My Monster by Pearl, when she has to fill-in Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot.  Notably, it is never discussed around or by Jasper.  Y’know.  The person who actually died.

No indication of how (or even if) what Steven did is affecting his own self-image after his initial breakdown, how Jasper feels about what she went through beyond falling back into the Era 1 and 2 mindset.  No inkling of how the knowledge that Steven killed somebody has affected how anyone in his life thinks or feels about him; when Pearl brings it up in I Am My Monster, she seems to not even really believe it’s true.

If there are any consequences or talks about this incident, they’re skipped over between I Am My Monster and The Future, and we’re expected to assume that Steven and his therapist are dealing with it, I guess?

And yes.  It was an accident.  He did bring her back to life.  But it still happened.  If you hit someone over the head and they stop breathing, just because the paramedics are able to resusitate and stabilize them afterwards doesn’t mean you never hit them.

But here, it’s shoved aside because dwelling on it would take far too much time, and risks framing Steven in an unsympathetic way when he’s meant to be on the cusp of a breakdown.

It just feels like careless writing to me.  They really, really wanted their big action scene with Steven and Jasper, but didn’t think (or maybe weren’t interested in thinking) about the seriousness or consequences of what Steven shattering someone would entail.

In my opinion, Steven shattering Jasper is one of the cheapest, laziest things they could have ever done with his character (and hers, for that matter).  To me, the entire thing feels entirely out of character.  It’s pure shock value; nothing more.

So yeah.  That particular writing decision just does not work for me.  And if you disagree... well that’s fine?  It’s fine.  We can agree to disagree?  I’ve read a lot of defense/praise for this episode, and honestly even after processing all of those opinions and all the time my thoughts about this plotline have been stewing in my brain, I still feel the same way.

[onelastbreath-writes]

On Bruce And Texting:

Author’s Note: Hello and welcome, this is my first properly written fic, originally posted to my AO3, and now that I have finally created a writing blog, it’s here as well. Please enjoy!!  AO3.  Masterlist

Warnings: Hopefully none, its all cute and fluff <3

Summary: Bruce Wayne texts like he's sending correspondences to the Queen, so of course the little monsters he calls children just have to make fun of him! Brats, the lot of them, but he wouldn't have them any other way.

Features: Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, all the bats and birds, mentions JL, no crime fighting, only family fluff, jokes and nods to Millennial and GenZ shenanigans.

Word Count: 2.7k

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Billionaire, genius, tech expert, father of many children, and all around up-to-date-with-just-about-everything type of person he may be, it is also a well-known Fact that Bruce Wayne, the Batman(TM) himself, can’t text to save his life.

Whether it’s due to his Very Proper English Upbringing, his inability to be informal via written correspondences of any type, his indifference, or the fact that it bothers his children so much, Bruce Wayne has not and never will text with anything less than perfect grammar, spelling, and formality. If he has not sent you a proper letter (featuring a dedication, indentation for every paragraph, signature, and post-script when applicable), he did, in fact, not send you that text. Informality is not his Batman Way(TM) according to his children... he’s not too sure what that even means, but it makes his young ones laugh so it’s probably fine?  

His oldest children (Richard and Jason) were raised in the time of Change, where computers, internet access, social media, and all things similar were only just being introduced into households en-masse. They were young enough to remember a time without such devices and connectivity (both for very different reasons, of course, but they grew up without the newest technology none-the-less). They could understand his relationship to the digital environment more so than his younger children, but they still tended to poke fun at his ‘texting blunders’ regularly. All his kids somehow ended up as brats. He doesn’t know how this happened. It’s certainly not his fault. He blames the League members, and especially Clark Kent, for their defiant personalities. 

His younger children, whom he loves dearly, like to confuse him as much as they possibly can with their slang, egregious spelling errors, and all-around ‘internet humour’. He doesn’t know what ‘wig’ or ‘worm’ or ‘oof’ or anything means. He has no idea what those dances are, or how they relate to the music that seems to always accompany them, and for the love of all that is good, don’t ask him what he thinks of this or that ‘meme’. What even is a ‘meme’, and should he be more concerned about his kids being obsessed with them? He tries, oh my god, does he try to follow the children’s conversations, but they somehow all learned a language he has no idea how to decrypt. His best response to them once they start speaking in tongues is as follows: smile but not too much, listen to child even though he is deeply confused, and pat child on head or shoulder when they are finished and are looking for assurance.  

He refuses to be a parent who ignores or tunes out his children, so he always makes sure to put down his work, his crossword, his tools, or whatever else is in his hands when a child searches him out for a conversation. But somehow, despite all the time he spends around them and their strange words, when he gets text from them comprised of abbreviations, acronyms, and completely random words, he goes a little cross eyed. He would never tell anyone, but he keeps a running list on his phone about the things they say that he has had to translate in the past. Spilling tea? Speaking the truth, usually to do with gossip. Wow? Multiple possible meanings: either a video game, or someone saying it (different pronunciation depending on context and who sent the text). Stickbug? A nice little prank with no ulterior motives, just for fun. Something along the lines of “this basic bitch Karen at the grocery store who is a dirty rat-licker and is def an anti-vaxxer just took 45 (forty-five) minutes to decide she didn’t actually want that almond milk. I Stan the cashier who had to put up with her. Rad af dude.” roughly translates to “A rude, middle-aged white woman who wasn’t wearing a mask and doesn’t believe in disease control or vaccinating her children wasted a great deal of an essential worker’s time in the checkout line. The cashier was very professional in their dealings with said customer and should be commended on their actions.”  

Given enough time, the internet for searching up new slang words, and occasionally some help from a friend (Alfred, Selina, Lucius, another of his children, etc), Bruce could decode and respond appropriately to most texts. He was quite proud of these achievements, and although he didn’t always like how often his children were on their phones or computers or gaming systems, he was quite proud of how integrated and easily they adapted to the ever-evolving world of electronics. All his kids were gifted in many ways, but their ability to learn, their hunger for knowledge, and their perseverance when exploring new and challenging ideas were always the things that he was most impressed by.  

He could do without their comments though. Yes, surprisingly, he did manage to get girlfriends with his type of texting. No, he doesn’t miss the ‘good old days’ when telegraphs were the main form of long-distance correspondence (how old do these brats think he is?!). And yes, he does know what a “tweet” is, and how to “post” on his social media accounts, and what “sliding into your DMs” is (thanks to a frantic search after a WE employee mentioned it near him). The Wayne children, truly whom and what Bruce considers his pride and joy, are cruel little jerks to him sometimes. His hoard of parenting books fails to mention what one should do when their children gang up on them. Bullying is covered of course, but he can’t really talk to a teacher or his guardian about how his second son calls him an idiot sandwich, or that his third son regularly tries to get him to do something “For The Vine”. His oldest and youngest boys are only slightly better in the bullying him department; Richard and his puppy dog eyes when he wants to do something dangerous or not-Alfred-approved, and Damian and his growing collection of pets because “Mother never let me have them, and I am deprived, and don’t you love me Father?”.  

His only good child is his beautiful daughter Cassandra, the flower of the Wayne clan. She gives him hugs, and pats his hands, and can sit with him and just enjoy the quiet and stillness when his other children are not around. Her language skills are improving by leaps and bounds every day, and her heart and spirit are unparalleled, but her main method of communication is in her movements. Her hands, her posture, her dancing; Bruce couldn’t think of a more graceful, fluid, powerful person if the world depended on it. His amazing little girl doesn't bully him (and if she ever does, he probably deserves it, he trusts her), so he turns to her most of all when it comes to communicating with someone else. She doesn’t let him send anything that is “sketchy” or “wrong words, bad meaning, Dad”. He would give the world to his children, but for Cassandra, he would destroy it and build her an entirely new one.

Social media, especially with his terrible children all having accounts dedicated to making him look like a simpleton, was another rocky terrain he had to navigate on the regular. He had professionals in place at WE to run the company’s many accounts, paid top dollar to help appeal and relate to the masses, but he mostly had to manage his personal accounts himself. And so, @TheRealBruceWayne was one of the greatest struggles in his adult life. Why can’t he just retweet every post from @WE_Offical and leave it at that? People should only want to know about what’s new with the company. What do you mean they want to know more about our family and private lives? That’s unnecessary, and not important to the running of the company, right? Right? Why are you laughing?!

Luckily, most people in his life aren’t so intimately aware of his struggles. He can act and lie all he wants about being “hip” and “woke” and whatever else the kids are saying these days when he’s with the JL or in board meeting intermissions, networking with his associates. The Batman knows all and sees all, Green Lantern, of course he understands how “Tiktok” works. The Batman is a robot without a funny bone in his body, Green Arrow, but I did witness him sigh and say “same” when he knocked his cup of coffee over while on monitor duty once. No matter how badly his darling children call him out, the Justice League would be so much worse. So, it’s one of his most importantly guarded secrets... even more so than his secret identity at this point. Being unmasked in front of every Gotham rogue would be less detrimental to him than his “friends” learning of his utter ineptitude in staying on top of the younger generations’ lingo.  

When questioned why the League doesn’t have a group chat or a forum or anything that they can use to contact each other outside of world ending matters and communicator (”because we’re friends, Batman! Ma and Pa Kent would love to have everyone over for a barbecue!”), the person who dared even mention texting isn’t even given a verbal response. They are just glared at, silently, often for several uninterrupted minutes, frozen in place only able to breathe shallowly in fear of setting off the Bat. “You know why” his glare says, “I’ll eat you, your family, and everything you have ever held dear” the younger members hear. No one makes the mistake of asking about it twice.  

Outside of his children and Alfred, and his small circle of true friends involved in all aspects of his life, there is only one more person Bruce allows to know of his Darkest Secret. Selina. Someone most people would recommend he not be involved with. Catwoman: accomplished thief, distraction, chaos-incarnate most nights, and his significant other. Sharp as a whip (ha) and crafty like no one’s business; he is head-over-heels. On again/Off again and all over the place their long romance has been, but no one has ever challenged him, intrigued him, like this clever, beautiful, amazing woman has. He’s brought his partners around his children before, both for their judgement, and for their worst behaviours to vet out any “unworthy” suitors. He trusts them explicitly to tell him the truth about those he allows into the manor; were they rude about Bruce wanting to have group outings, did they say something about Bruce’s money, did they get angry or shout or make anyone uncomfortable while they were here? If his children even looked slightly unhappy with someone he brought them to meet, that person would not be invited back. Children, he finds, have the best sight when meeting people; no motives other than finding safety and love, no fear of consequences from speaking honestly...  

Selina, or Catwoman, as they had known her first, was someone all of his kids liked without issue right off the bat. She would make puns and play word games with Richard, his first Robin, tiny, still working on his English, able to connect with him over their acrobatic abilities. His second Robin, Jason, skittish and feisty as an alley cat, knew of Catwoman and her daring escapades long before Bruce found him. The young boy had a few heroes, and no one (not even Wonder Woman) could compare to the incredible burglar who bought food and jackets and medicine for the street kids in Crime Alley. She was saintly in his eyes, and to this day, Bruce was still working on convincing Jason he was good enough for Selina. Tim and Cass and Stephanie (basically another daughter to Bruce, she spends so much time with the family) all joined the Wayne clan around the same time and officially met Selina as a friend and partner of his, and in the good graces of his first two sons. Selina, in all her nightly business, and many travels and acquaintances, had met the three independently, helping Tim get home safely back to Drake Manor when he escaped to photograph Batman and Robin in the dank darkness of Gotham when he was just a young boy, spending some time with Cassandra when her despicable father left her alone long enough to recover from his rough treatment, showing her the first scraps of kindness in her short life, and watching over and protecting Stephanie as she followed and sabotaged her father Cluemaster and his criminal activities. There was no need to win them over once they met her civilian identity, she had already gained their favour and acceptance, and they were happy to have her near their new family. Damian, his youngest, his biological son, took the longest to warm up to Selina. He would never fault his little boy for fighting so hard against a woman that was not his birth mother, especially after all the manipulation and cruelty dealt to him by Talia for the first decade of his life. But as he began to learn about his father, these people in his father’s life, and this woman that was Not His Mother but “still okay, I guess”, he grew to see her as acceptable. Her cats definitely helped, he’d say, no one with cats that loyal and happy can be a bad person.  

Selina, the love of his life, he’d admit quietly to himself, was also a dirty traitor and in cahoots with his terrible children. She would say his texting skills were “sweet” and “very gentlemanly” when she was asked by anyone outside the family, and privately to him she would say she thought they were “adorable” and “please don’t ever change, Bruce, I like it.” However, nothing seemed to bring her more joy than his children sending her texts and “Snaps” and “memes” about him to her. Sometimes it was screenshots of the family group chat that they forced him to join, where he would post “To whom it may concern...” and “In regards to...” when he needed to reach all his delinquents in a timely manner. Sometimes it was video clips of him staring at his phone intently, then typing something on his laptop, then him reading and nodding along, and then finally going back and responding to the text he received with a small, pleased smile. And sometimes, when he got too injured or was too incapacitated to text coherently, he’d have his nearest able child transcribe his text to her. Depending on who was texting her for Bruce, she could expect many different things. From Dick, she’d get lots of shorthand and silly emojis, and many, many, winky and crying/laughing faces in brackets depending on what Bruce had made him type. Jason, bless him, used proper English most of the time, but would never write a single word of Bruce’s soliloquy to her, instead she enjoyed the TL;DR version: “hurt again, missing you, come home soon, blah blah blah, sappy gross words here, love you”. Tim would allow speech recognition to run on Bruce’s phone, and just let it go until the man passed out. Stephanie, the little chaos child, would film it and send it to her, including all her muffled laughter and shaky camera shots of Bruce emoting with his available undamaged limbs. Cass, still more versed in physicality and emotive movement, would interpret Bruce’s text into mostly emojis, hearts and happy faces and animals, but would include photos, and phrases that she found important enough to type out for Selina. Damian, forever his Father’s son in any way possible, texts very formally, referring to her or his siblings Bruce mentions by last name only, and lots of “Father requests me to tell you...” and “Kyle, know that Father...”. She adores these kids, and once Bruce recovers enough to text her himself, or she gets back to the Manor, they get to laugh about whatever she was sent this time.  

So, while it’s true that Bruce couldn’t text his way out of a wet paper bag, and his kids are sometimes brats about it, there’s probably a lot of different reasons he doesn’t spend too much time trying to improve his skills. Whether it’s the smiles of his children, the giggles of his significant other, or the warm feeling in his chest when he sees all his important people bonding over him, well, in the end, who’s to say?