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yanderes-galore · 1 month

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Okay, I've been brainstorming about my pookie Gojo again and was wondering if you could write something with a jujutsu sorceress who's been getting along with romantic! Yandere! Gojo great, even friends! This is the best time he's having since his teen years (which were his best ;.;) but his friend/love interest has the opportunity to step away from the jujutsu society/school and live a normal life away from Gojo. It would keep them the most safe...but Gojo is clingy and selfish and wishes for a normal life WITH her, too.

Could prompt 15, 54, and 38 from your yandere prompt list work? Thank you :)

Sure! You said Sorceress so I assumed female reader? Here you go!

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Prompts 15, 54, 38

"Please smile for me... don't make me force you...."

"Selfish! That's what you are!"

"My life has been so barren without you...."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Trauma, Fear of loss, Guilt-Tripping, Overprotective behavior, Forced relationship.

Satoru can't remember the last time he felt this way.

He hasn't been this happy since his teen years. Now he's much older, a teacher, and the strongest Sorcerer out there. Truthfully, after the death of Suguru, he didn't think he was meant for such happiness... not with his burdens.

Then there was you, a Jujutsu Sorceress who transferred to Jujutsu High to help train and monitor Sukuna's Vessel.

At first, Satoru didn't think he needed the help. He was completely fine looking after Yuji just like he was with Megumi. Yet, he didn't fight the extra help.

More help can be useful for other means.

Satoru was naturally friendly when he first met you. Mostly just to welcome you even if he felt he didn't need your help. He's strong, doesn't need to rely on anyone...

Then you showed him that he isn't strong everywhere... emotion-wise he was vulnerable.

He really does hate how much you remind him of his good years. Those years were long dead now, just like his friend. But despite it all... Satoru found himself attached.

He just couldn't help it. You help take care and guide the students in his care. Plus, even if he's the strongest, you still insist on providing back up.

You two became quite the duo when you join to help teach.

Satoru was never usually one to crush on girls much when he was younger. He was always focused on himself rather than flirting around, even if he is attractive. Now that you're beside him, however...

He can feel himself crushing on you like some young school boy.

It's embarrassing how your presence makes him feel... weak? He always finds himself so nervous yet calm around you. It's just you... always you... now he can't help but feel addicted.

Satoru regrettably let himself get attached to you and be vulnerable with you. He found himself taking you on little 'dates' (They aren't dates to you) and letting himself relax. He knows he shouldn't... but your smile is everything to him.

Satoru couldn't help but fall for you. You're such a pretty and precious woman to him... you make him feel all attentive. Satoru can't help but want to protect you, to be part of your life.

Satoru wants you to need him as much as he needs you. He adores you. He can't help but hope you feel the same so he can hold you... kiss you....

He's fallen into this little obsession of his so much that he gets excited when you invite him to your office. You tell him you have to confess something, to meet you in your office whenever he's free. Satoru has never appeared in a place faster.

Then you say you have to leave.

"They allowed me the opportunity to take a break. I'm just not needed here, now. I just thought it would be the safest option... and I wanted to tell you just so you knew...."

Satoru... can't believe what you said to him. You had called him into your given office to speak to him. This is the important news you had to say...? This was your confession?

You... You want to leave? You want to leave him...? Are... Are you serious...? You didn't love him? You didn't feel the same? Satoru's gaze keeps scanning you, looking for any form of deceit. When he sees none... He can't help but break his calm exterior and snap.

"Selfish! That's what you are!" Satoru snaps, unaware of any projection he may have just flung at you. You stare at him, jumping at his sudden lack of control. It's... so unlike him.

"Satoru, what's—?"

"You're not needed here...? I need you! I NEED you to stay here, with me!" Satoru pleads, stepping closer. He corners you like an animal... yet you stand your ground the best you can.

"My life has been so barren without you...." Satoru continues his sudden rant, his voice almost cracking as he looks at you. His gaze is full of hurt. "Now that I've found you, now that I can taste that happiness again... You want to leave me!?"

"Satoru, It's for the best, I'm not trying to leave you..." You try to explain your actions, only for Satoru to pull you into his chest.

"Don't you know I love you?" Satoru asks quietly, causing your face to flush. His sudden confession does not help either of you... You still feel fearful of his sudden change in behavior.

"Satoru, no...."

"I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I can't let you go, baby...." Satoru whispers, the nickname a smooth as velvet. "Please don't go... I can't protect you if you go...."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be...."

"Why can't you tend to me for once!?" Satoru barks, making you freeze in fear. "Why can't I be happy!? I want a life with you! I want to stay with you... I want..."

Satoru pauses, seeing the fear in your face. His cold gaze softens when he sees you trembling in his hands. He... He shouldn't be taking this out on you...

"... I want you to smile," Satoru murmurs, cupping your face. "I want you to smile because you're my girl, and I'm your man. I want you... I don't want you scared of me, or anything, I just..."

In a moment of vulnerability usually unseen, Satoru pulls you into a tighter hug. You almost can't breathe

"Please smile for me... don't make me force you...." Satoru whispers, his words genuine... yet they come off as threatening. "Please show me you love me too... Please don't leave my side...."

Satoru doesn't look down at you, merely shoving his face into your neck.

He's so stressed and tired all the time... He just wants to be happy, happy with you...

He doesn't care if it means he has to keep you here by force... It's all to protect you... or so he tells himself...

He just can't lose you... He's lost too much.

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo #yandere satoru x reader

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shiplessoceans · 1 year

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Good Omens S2 Episode 6 confession scene speculation:

Aziraphale didn't respond to the love confession from Crowley because he didn't realise it was one until Crowley mentioned the Nightingale and kissed him.

Allow me to explain.

---

Aziraphale interrupted Crowley to give him the news from Metatron, so when Crowley starts his spiel:

"We've been together a long time, I could always rely on you...we're a group....we've spent our existence pretending we aren't...if Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together then we can...we don't need heaven/hell they're toxic...you and me whatya say?"

Aziraphale interprets everything Crowley is saying as his rebuttal to the 'good news', not a separate declaration of his feelings.

What Aziraphale just told him shaped Crowley's confession, instead of finally telling Aziraphale how he feels about him, he's now backed into a corner and trying to change Aziraphales mind. Offering to run off with him as the alternative to the Metatron's offer.

The repetition of the phrase: "go off together" from the bandstand fight in season one feels very intentional here. It would be easy for Aziraphale to think 'this is just Crowley's response when the divine plan interferes, he always wants to run away'.

Aziraphale believes that he just needs to make Crowley understand the situation and opportunity that this is and everything will be alright:

"Come with me! To heaven, I can run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference!"

Crowley is looking defeated already, in his mind he's bared his soul and Aziraphale is a brick wall. So if he can't tempt the angel into staying with the love he has for him (which Crowley thinks he's declared but he really hasn't), he'll get him to change his mind by evoking something else he loves:

"You can't leave this bookshop."

Aziraphale scoffs fondly. 'Silly demon, you were just suggesting we run off together and abandon it only a moment ago!' He thinks Crowley is trying to 'work' him here and the old serpent might even be selflessly trying to spare the angel the loss of his beloved bookshop in order to restore Crowley and help the world, which would be just like him to be so covertly protective. So Aziraphale reassures him, a bookshop doesn't matter to him as much as Crowley and the world. It's just a collection of objects really. Humanity is more important. Crowley is far more important.

"Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever."

Crowley is crushed. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the two of them. So he covers his sadness with his glasses, walls back up, and he tries to leave.

Aziraphale is baffled. He just reassured Crowley that he was alright with change if it means things could be better. Why is Crowley leaving? Is he worried that they won't spend time together anymore? That he won't have time for his friend as a supreme archangel?

"Crowley come back!....we can be together, angels!...I need you!"

Crowley can't even look at him in that moment. Why would Aziraphale say that? The two of them together only if he accepts heaven again? Conditional love? That's not fair. It hurts.

Aziraphale meanwhile is hurt by Crowley's turning away, his silence and a bit incensed at what he perceives as ingratitude. Aziraphale didn't really want to go back to heaven, but he'd do it if it meant Crowley could be happy and safe and Crowley doesn't seem to appreciate that:

"I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

Crowley went through the fall. He asked the questions. Did his best to protect humanity and it has brought him nothing but suffering. He's well aware what's on offer. He's seen heavens cruelty and capriciousness firsthand and been burned by it repeatedly. How can Aziraphale choose them over him and still think everything will work out?

"I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

Crowley loves Aziraphale's big foolish optimism and kind heart and he thinks it's the very thing taking the angel away from him. This isn't how it was supposed to go. It's all slipping away from him.

"Listen. You hear that?"

Aziraphale can't even keep up at this point.

This is what comes of thousands of years of 'not talking about it' and living under threat of holy retribution if they are discovered. They're talking past each other, having two different conversations. Obfuscation and code has become their communication medium by necessity and it's failing them.

It's frustrating Aziraphale that he can't get a grip on this conversation:

"I don't hear anything!"

And Crowley drops the bomb.

"That's the point. No Nightingale's."

Oh. Suddenly we're on the same page. You can see from Aziraphale's face that he understands to what Crowley's referring. The Nightingale in Berkely square. Angels dining at the Ritz...

"You idiot! We could have been... us."

Crowley's talking about the big unspoken thing between them. Their relationship, thousands of years of dancing around each other like binary stars gravitationally and inexorably drawn together over and over. The thing Aziraphale was beginning to be bold about, (dancing notwithstanding) before Metatron came along and distracted him.

And it seems to Aziraphale that gut-wrenchingly, Crowley is finally acknowledging their mutual love only to point out that it's gone. Lost. They could have finally been together, an us, but Aziraphale ruined it because he's an 'idiot'.

After being quietly in love with Crowley for years, for Aziraphale to have his offer to return to heaven together and his unspoken love rejected in one fell swoop is devastating.

Overcome, he begins to cry and turns away, not wanting Crowley to see how hurt he is.

Crowley for his part is desperate. He has to do something. Maybe Aziraphale doesn't understand what Crowley is offering him! One fabulous kiss and va-voom right?

In a final desperate act, he kisses Aziraphale. Tries for passionate. Tries to show him that he loves him and show him what they could be because his words clearly aren't working.

Aziraphale is shocked and angry. He wants to kiss Crowley of course. But not like this. Not as a taunt. Crowley just told him their chance is over so what else could this be but a final insult. A kiss to punish the angel. It's a cruelty he didn't believe Crowley capable of.

And despite how mean it is. It's also what Aziraphale has wanted for so long he can't help but melt into it for a brief moment. Allow himself to feel what it would have been like to be that close before losing it forever.

Then Crowley lets go and Aziraphale breaks away on a sob, feeling wounded. Hurt beyond words that Crowley would use his feelings against him like this, gutted to be losing the man he loves and not understanding why.

The worst part is that Aziraphale doesn't have it in him to hate Crowley, even if he thinks the kiss was a cruel gesture. He still loves him. So he gathers himself and does what Aziraphale does when someone hurts him.

He forgives.

"I forgive you."

I forgive you for rejecting my attempt to restore you and make you happy, I forgive you for rejecting God and heaven yet again, I forgive you for acknowledging our love and then rejecting it. I forgive you for kissing me, giving me a fleeting glimpse of what we could have been to each other. I love you and I forgive you all that.

Crowley is done. Breath knocked out of him on a last sigh. He tried. And the Angel forgave him yet again for something he never asked or wanted forgiveness for. He doesn't want to be penitent for loving Aziraphale. Shouldn't have to apologise or regret wanting them to be together.

"Don't bother."

Aziraphale looks surprised Crowley is leaving because he genuinely is. He can't understand how it's all gone so horribly wrong. He gasps, shocked and can't even call out to him to stop, come back.

He cries, touches his lips where Crowley had kissed him. Tries to gather himself and barely has 10 seconds before Metatron is back.

At the end of that scene:

Crowley thinks he confessed his love and Aziraphale chose heaven over him because he didn't want to stop being a demon.

Aziraphale thinks Crowley rejected heaven, then rejected Aziraphale and threw their love back in his face as a final unkindness.

Aziraphale leaves and goes to heaven anyway because in his mind he's already lost Crowley and there is nothing left to stay for. If he doesn't have Crowley he needs a new purpose and it's going to be saving the world. He'll convince himself of it. And he'll push that broken heart down and the pain will fade if he just smiles through it. It will be enough, to make heaven better. It has to be. Maybe if he proves that he can make a difference Crowley might see the error of his ways and speak to him again? Surely. Hopefully.

---

Both of them are hurt and confused and lost and oh dear hell I really feel for them.

#good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #good omens s2e6 #gos2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens 2 analysis #gos2 meta #ineffable #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #gos2

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 9 months

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Can I request this. A dancer reader with pokemon scarlet and violet. Reader has meloetta, oricorio, scream tail, primarinna, hoopa and toxtricity.

If you want the lore on this reader. They are a singer whose family was said to be the descendants of a siren.

This reader has never caught a pokemon with a pokeball. The pokemon that join reader just travel with them. This reader uses sign language or writing to communicate as their voice is dangerous as it can charm anyone ho hears it if they aren't related to reader from their dad's side.

Reader went to this school was near to her mom's childhood home.

Meloetta and Primarinna (who ia an alpha pokemon) were able snap people out of Reader's voice and joined reader so they don't hurt anyone with their voice.

Toxtricity is protects reader from being kidnapped and overprotective and is resistant to their voice because punk rock.

Hoopa follows reader as reader is interesting.

Scream tail was a pokemon her grandma asked to protect reader.

As a dancer, you've made quite a name for yourself in the Paldea region--almost rivalling celebrities like Ryme and Iono.

People everywhere find your performances stellar, especially when your Pokémon provided backup dancing and singing.

A year prior to the Treasure Hunt, you did a show for the Festival of Masks in Kitakami, telling a moving story about the "Loyal Three" and Ogerpon.

Ofc you regretted it after learning that was a false narrative.

Speaking of your team, it was quite peculiar...consisting of an Alpha 'mon with menacing red eyes, two mythicals, an Ancient Paradox 'mon that somehow got out of the crater, and a perfectly normal Toxtricity and Oricorio.

However, you don't speak much, preferring sign language and/or writing as ways of communication..and your friends wondered why...

Although after becoming close with Arven, Penny, and Nemona (and eventually Carmine and Kieran), you wrote them all messages detailing your past.

You're a descendant of sirens, appearing entirely human yet having the alluring voice of one.

You basically know Hypnosis..but it wasn't something you were proud of, because you've charmed people into following your voice, and...it almost always ended badly.

Unfortunately, that made you a prime target in several kidnappings from evil organizations in other regions.

They falsely believed your family could somehow learn Pokémon moves and became obsessed with harnessing that same power..even though it had nothing to do with Pokémon at all.

Since moving to Paldea, it's become your safe haven, especially since your mom's childhood home was here and you could retreat to it whenever you wished.

After your grandma gave you Scream Tail to accompany you during your many journeys, the rest of your team sorta formed itself.

You never believed in using pokeballs, and thus they followed you wherever you went (ofc as long as it was allowed).

Oricorio was always perched on your shoulder to scout out high places and be your number 1 cheerleader (in the case of the pom-pom variant).

Amped!Toxtricity became your bodyguard and a friend you could rely on after learning its Punk Rock ability made it quite resistant to your voice. So you'd make small talk with it, although you still don't say too much.

It's ready to throw hands wherever and whenever you're being bothered--by students, staff, and tourists alike.

Alpha!Primarinna was a lass you discovered at the Wistful Fields one summer day, having come a long way from Hisui (like Bloodmoon Ursaluna).

Normally Alphas are belligerent, but she felt a sudden connection to you and obeyed you right on the spot. A giant and loyal protector.

Hoopa travelled through space and time to meet you, finding you quite interesting...and grinned deviously after you managed to win its prison bottle at an auction.

It almost caused chaos at the mart, tricking you into opening it, but even you were able to tame its Unbound form and convince it to become Confined again.

Finally, Meloetta was lured to one of your performances and provided beautiful backup vocals, and ever since then you two have done many duos as dancer/singer.

Her and Primarinna are the only ones who can snap people out of your spells. They know you hate to hurt others but sometimes humans just push your buttons and...well...next thing you know, the two ladies are scrambling to save them from walking through hostile territory to greet you.

Fortunately, those events happen rarely now and you've been able to form meaningful friendships.

Since nobody in your team is stuck in a pokeball, they usually hang out at your mom's childhood home or in your dorm--but Toxtricity and Oricorio insist on being with you in-class.

As far as everyone's reactions go...

.......

Nemona is PSYCHED to see you have a team specifically themed around music and song (except for Hoopa, although it knows Throat Chop yet seldom uses it), always wanting to battle them.

Also converses with you in sign language. I hc she learned it so she could communicate with deaf/HOH trainers so they can battle with her, too, free of judgement.

Penny is both impressed and terrified tbh--especially with the Alpha who has looks that could kill if it weren't for your unique connection with the giant water/fairy. But her Sylveon gets along with Primarinna surprisingly well.

Arven almost didn't believe you were a descendant of sirens until he witnessed you hypnotize a substitute who thought you weren't answering their question..nearly falling into the trance himself until Meloetta showed up.

He's never doubted your power since.

Carmine did tease you in the beginning for being even quieter than her little brother, but felt guilty after reading your letter...wanting to learn sign language herself to own up to her mistakes.

Kieran saw your performance at the festival and couldn't believe you returned to Kitakami as a student, wanting to challenge him to a battle.

You? A celebrity? Against him????

But after the ordeal with Ogerpon, he felt betrayed by his two biggest idols...and so your letter went unread, although it remained in his bag and he finally looked at it post-Indigo Disk.

He showed up to your dorm at BB Academy that same day, a bagful of candy apples and berries as another apology.

Least to say, your team adored the treats.

Even Toxtricity--who genuinely thought he was being an annoying brat this entire time--finally softened up around him.

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alwaysshallow · 2 months

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gorgerous, part 8

Simon Riley x f!reader

previous part || next part

READ ON AO3

You're a vet with a pretty simple life. One day though, things change, when a big guy with a skull mask enters your clinic with a small, ginger kitten in his hands. (4,5k)

A/N: ....guess who's back??

Christmas is usually celebrated with someone you love. Someone you respect, someone that will cherish the moments with you because there’s not only a lot of things to prepare in a sense of duty, the feeling that you have to do this. There's a lot of things that you can genuinely enjoy.

Gifts. You love to think of something special for every person that is close to you, just for the pure satisfaction of seeing a smile on their face and a "How did you know?" question that makes you giddy every time you hear it.

What’s more, everyone gets something personalized, something that is from you, carefully picked amongst the hundreds of choices. You'd hate to give a present that looks like it had been picked at the last minute at a gas station; so, you spend a lot of the time buying and wrapping your gifts to some corny playlist that you made when you were eighteen, and you play it every year. Just for the vibe.

Meal, where you think of everyone. Their favorites, dislikes, something sweet for later, when the meal will be just too boring and the craving for chocolate would hit.

It’s good to note that most of the dishes aren't cooked by you (you don’t have time and skills to do so much), it's catering, but, it's the thought that matters, you think.

And it's like that… normally.

This year, you feel like all the holiday spirit is dead. Your mom and dad already planned the vacation—without you, which upsets you, but you don’t allow yourself to show that—and your friends go to their families. You’re gonna be alone in the most wonderful time of the year, so for some reason, you start to understand the Grinch.

You received an invitation from your friends, but you politely declined it. Feeling it would be either awkward, or you'd feel alienated in a family that you don't really know well. Besides, pity isn’t really your thing, so you prefer to watch Bridget Jones with cookies and milk, instead of being a burden.

Or, you preferred to watch Bridget Jones, before someone showed up in your life and made a little mess.

Before Simon came into view.

Maybe it's his aura, or maybe it's your high expectations and mindless dreaming, but you think it would be right to ask him. Even if he has plans—you think that a man like him doesn’t have plans—it's something that you want to do.

Just out of pure curiosity. Because based on the dinner you had with him, evening that you spent together, you think he'd be a good company. In your mind, you already see the banter between you and him. You already see how he argues with you that you shouldn't really put on a Grinch movie, or any Christmas movie because it’s tacky to think of a Hallmark movie and a meal together. You see how he rolls his eyes, when you hit “play” despite his protests.

How he tries to seem uninterested, but he’s more invested into the movie than you are, commenting out loud stupid choices of the heroes, sighing audibly, as you laugh in the background. How he absolutely devours cookies that you made, so you need to bake another batch of them because he's eating so much—rightfully so, for such a monstrous man in the military. He probably relies on his weight to stay in form.

It's hard not to drool, when you imagine it. His body under all of the clothing, his muscles, body fat. How he looks, how comedically bigger he is, compared to you. Fuck, you’d give a lot to see him without all of those clothes. Compression shirt leaves too much to your imagination to be satisfied with that only.

It’s even harder to maintain a calm face, when he asks you about something from the bathroom, and you jump in place, like you were just caught on something illegal or watching porn. You can’t even recall what he was saying, so with a frown you ask him to repeat the question.

If he’s not dense, he should know by now that you like him. Very much. Maybe too much, considering how far your imagination goes, and it only took… a few months, to fall into this mindset with a man that is rather known for being quiet. A man that did a horrible first impression in that weird mask, yet you’re still interested.

Your polar opposite.

While you love to talk, he rather avoids it. You love crowds (moderately), he does not. He probably prefers to sit alone in the cafe, reading away from the crowd, while you almost every time find someone to talk to, either if it’s a client or a barista that is glad someone doesn’t complain about the coffee. You talk, he’s more of a listener.

Fire and water; ice, even. Something that is on the opposite sides, something that shouldn’t work in the first place, but for some reason, it works perfectly well—for you, at least. You’re more addicted with the passing hours of your weird friendship with Simon, more curious to know him. Trying to adjust to the slow pace that he set in.

The slow dance around the topic is the thing you know Simon likes the most. It’s maybe the only thing that you’re sure he loves to do. Taking his time to observe, pounce and eventually attack, if he feels up to it.

It’d be easier that he’d ask you to spend Christmas with him, but you can’t have it all easy, no?

You bite your cheek and observe how he plays with Sparkles. The cat is invested in catching his fingers with her paws, gnawing on them, when he tries to take them away from her to take a sip of his tea. With a view like that, it’s easy to melt into a puddle and forget about everything that bothers you. It’s also very easy to have a prospect of you three spending holidays in your apartment. Wouldn’t be far from what you have now—big “bad” military man spending time with a tiny kitten, while you try to think of a proper breakfast.

It would be the best reward to have him around, when it’s your favorite time of the year.

But, it’s up to him, if he agrees.

And, for many reasons, unbeknownst to you, you want him to agree.

“You have somethin’ in mind,” he breaks the silence. Deep brown eyes are already scanning you from the bottom to the top of your head, curiously. Challenging himself if he’s capable of knowing what bothers you, before you’ll say it to him.

You’re not gonna make it easy for him, that’s for sure.

“I don’t,” you huff, like it’s supposed to convince him. “It’s just… I don’t know what to make for breakfast. That’s really it.”

Simon’s quick to accuse you. “Don’t lie.”

“I don’t lie?” You raise your eyebrow, like he just didn’t tell you the truth; he scoffs at your high-pitched tone, taking a few steps towards you.

“You bite your cheek, and stomp like a bunny. What is it if not lyin’?” He mimics you, raising an eyebrow too. If it would be anyone else, you’d be slightly offended.

Rather than that, you’re amused a bit. “Like a bunny?”

He shrugs. “Yeah. From Bambi, or whatever that was.”

It takes everything in you to not laugh right this second. “You watched Bambi?”

“With Soap,” he murmurs, almost in shame because of the confession. “Doesn’t matter, what do you have in your little head?”

One confession leads to another, you think. It seems inevitable to say this right now, as finding a lie would be the worst option ever in front of a human lie detector.

Besides, there’s no point in lying when you want him on Christmas.

“I thought that, you know, you could spend Christmas with me. Sparkles would be included, too,” you say, out of breath when you’re done.

In theory, this, telling him what you have in mind, should help you to get rid of that feeling in your chest. Feeling that makes you go back to being a kid, when you felt there’s nothing you can do about certain situations. When you could just wait for the mercy of the other person.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re waiting till Simon says something; a few minutes ago, you felt like it’s just a formality.

Right now, you feel that the ache got worse just by seconds. His blank stare doesn’t help you with anything, it just makes you wonder what is in his mind right now. Is he just so shocked that he doesn’t know what to say? Or is he trying to find the words to politely decline the invitation?

“So, you want to celebrate with me,” he speaks up. You don’t know if there’s been five minutes, ten minutes, or an hour since you’ve asked him, but nonetheless, it makes you mad how he asks another question, instead of answering yours.

Although, you don’t show it; you just chuckle, nervously. “Is that really weird?”

“Kind of? Masochist type of way, if I’m being honest,” he hums, tilting his head. You have this specific feeling behind your head that he’s not taking you seriously, but you try to push it away. You don’t need it, not now.

“Well, masochist or not,” you swallow the saliva, thinking it would give you courage to continue the conversation, “I really mean it. I’d love to have you here.”

He sighs, shaking his head, and you know you’re screwed. “We’re not quite here, bird. Nothin’ personal, but that’s probably the dumbest idea out here.”

“Dumbest… idea?” You raise your eyebrow, laughing at first, but then you look at him in disbelief. “Like, spending time together on Christmas is dumb?”

It looks like he doesn’t even want to hear what you are saying. Riley puts Sparkles to the transporter, getting ready to go, while you still want the answer. “So? That’s… it?”

“I don’t want to spend Christmas with you.” He shrugs, looking at you. “Simple as that, I don’t know what is so hard to understand.”

And then, he leaves.

Not only without breakfast, but without a word that would help you understand why he reacted like that.

As you can imagine, the following days are kind of rough.

Simon isn't a texter or a caller, doesn't have a reason for it anyway, so you're anxious all the time at work. You make more hours than you should just to stay in work and keep your mind occupied with something other than him because it still feels like he was at your place minutes ago, not days.

It doesn’t help. The unnerving wave of shame is overwhelming, so you can’t even enjoy your work the way you normally would. Because normally, work helps you with your inner peace, feeling like a hot shower after a long day. Relaxing your muscles, bringing your mind elsewhere.

Right now, work is just pouring more problems to the already full cup.

Maybe it’s a mistake, but you don’t really share it with anyone; what happened with the British guy. Too ashamed that you even thought it would be a great idea to invite Simon, you bottle the feelings instead of letting them out on a random girls night, when you’d be too drunk to remember what you’ve said. You don’t mention it to your best friend, in case she’d spill it to Soap, you don’t mention it to your parents, in a fear of being judged. Or, Simon being judged in that case, they don’t know him.

You feel like you don’t know him either, but he has to have a reason to not to come, right? It’s not like he decided that just out of spite, right?

Not only you feel bad, but the whole thing feels pathetic. Everything reminds you of him. A damn jar of peanut butter in your apartment (that you hide deep, as you don’t want to even look at that), cat toys at your workplace, LEGO, just because he said that it seems like the stupidest, yet the most interesting “puzzle thing” ever. If this isn’t enough, you catch yourself thinking of him at the gym, when you feel too fatigued to continue the training. Wondering if he’d push you to do the last set, what’d he say. Him, helping you with the exercises, seems like something inevitable. Something that could happen.

You need a cold shower after that.

These days, people tend to get on your nerves too. Your calm clients become someone that you don’t want to see, not even mentioning talking to them for more than it’s necessary. Happy couple in the shop irritates you enough to skip the aisle that they are in because if you don’t get to be happy, you don’t want to see other people happy like that. Not when you thought you’re gonna spend the holiday with someone special to you.

God. If one of your best friends would behave that way, you’d convince them they deserve better because no boy should make you feel like crap.

Now… yeah.

Now you should be the best friend to yourself, but it’s not going well for you. It’s way easier to try to lose yourself at work, watch rom-coms and eat ice cream, rather than face the truth.

You eventually come to the conclusion that spending Christmas would be a scratch on his emo reputation, so it’s better for you to ignore him completely from this point. If he hates this day so much, he could tell you in a different way than humiliating not only you, but your feelings.

It’s the night before Christmas when you see him, as you come back from the shop with your groceries.

He looks... fine, as always. Unbothered, as always.

Walking like the whole world belongs to him, loudly and clearly intimidating everyone who would even think of crossing his path. It's something that you, right now, envy him for. How heartless he seems, which definitely helps him not only with the job he’s doing, but for the moment like this one.

Where people, normally, feel ashamed.

The big guy facade fades just for a single moment—and you hopelessly think it's the moment he sees you, the last droplets of human decency speaking to him. He stops, looking at you from head to your toes and back. Estimating if you’re worth a while.

And when he decides that you’re in his circle of interest, he walks up even closer to you. Not a single emotion on his scarred face, and if you wouldn't know him, you'd be scared that he wants something malicious.

Maybe he does.

"Hi."

His voice feels like he’s under the water. Deep, unreachable, but for some reason, it reaches you. Simon’s presence floods your lungs, making it hard to breathe, or to do anything at this point. You have to take a shallow breath before you’ll do anything.

You can't quite reach out to yourself to bring anything other than "Fuck you", so you don't speak after the "Hi." A nod in acknowledgement of his existence is all you give him; because if you would try to speak, you'd be either aggressive or hysterical.

And it's the last thing you want to give him: emotions. Because he seems to love that you're the emotional one here; he can read people like a book, and you're tired of being one. Tired of being on his shelf, so he can grab you whatever he wants, and you have no control over it. It simply doesn't feel right to you, doesn't seem fair at any chance.

His tone snaps you back to reality. "Dove."

You sigh. "I have a meal to prepare. Can't really talk right now, Riley.”

"Ouch." He theatrically puts a hand on his heart, tilting his head to the side. You can't really say if he's surprised by your sudden change in behavior towards him, or amused. Maybe both, knowing him.

So, you do what you do best: you just start walking to your place, completely ignoring his presence. Pretend like you don’t care about this stupid Christmas, like you forgot what he said to you on that disastrous morning.

He grabs your arm, forcefully. You’re not even sure when that happens, when he jerks you towards him and you can see how he purses his lips in a thin line, looking at you with something resembling remorse, at best. Or something quite close to it, it’s hard to name it.

"'m not gonna let go."

"And I'll start screaming. You know I will. Like, actually, who would believe you that you just wanted to talk to me? You’re big, mean and generally speaking many people would—"

"If the invitation is still on the table, I'd take it, if we're bein' honest."

Like a fish, you open your mouth and close it a couple of times, dumbfounded. You can’t really tell if he means what he said, or if he actually said what you’ve heard; because there’s a possibility you just misheard something. You raise your eyebrow. "What?"

"Your hearing abilities amaze me."

"You told me a few days ago—"

"Changed my mind." He shrugs. So casually, like he didn’t actually make you freaking out about him, thinking you’re imagining things between you two because he rejected your invitation.

You repeat his words mindlessly, barely believing in them. “What changed, then? The big “I don’t spend Christmas” guy thought he’s gonna do it this year? Or something changed between us and it’s not that casual anymore? Or it’s not the dumbest idea?”

He grits his teeth. It’s not rocket science to see that he’d rather you just take his apology, but you’re not like that. At least, not after feeling so humiliated for a couple of days, thinking that you’re the stupidest woman on the entire planet. For what it’s worth, you need to make him regret his decision a little.

You want him to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stands right in front of you, the royal brown staring into your soul. It’s not like you will budge, and Simon seems to know it, when he rolls his eyes.

Fire and water. Maybe something that is not meant to be, and you started to slowly accept it after those days without contact. Sometimes people have different views on life, relationships and that’s okay. It’s not like you can change how he feels about you, but right now—

—right now, he closes his arms around you. Before you know it, he places his chin on the top of your head. Trying to isolate you from everything but him.

You try several times to leave his embrace, to punch him hard enough, but he doesn’t let go, and by that alone, you understand that somehow, you needed it. You just shoved it under the rug because it was easier.

Needed him, in general. Needed the reassurance that he probably doesn’t hate you so much. Your anger seems at lower levels right now, tamed, understanding towards him. It’s a stark contrast between you now, and a few days ago, when you wanted his head to be chopped off.

“I thought you passed on the party,” comes out quieter than expected. Like you’re actually afraid to say that, and he seems to know it when he tightens his arms around you for a moment.

“‘s not a party though, is it? Only us three,” he murmurs, shrugging. You could think he doesn’t care coming from the tone, but the look in his eyes, the small glint in them, says otherwise.

You scoff, pretending to be offended. Truth is, you’re far from offended right now. “Two is already a party.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“Not a really reliable source, dove. But s’alright,” he says, tilting his head. He looks down at you and then kisses the top of your head. Not even bothered that a few minutes ago you wanted to punch him. “Let’s go already, hm? Probably you’d want to make some shit or else.”

“Or else,” you say. You have a lot to do, that’s true, but right now your focus is elsewhere—and that’s on his heart. You can hear how hard it is beating, the only indicator (besides the eyes) that he really wants to be here with you.

And If you doubted he has heart, now you really can see that, indeed, he has. Beating for no one else but you.

“You… can’t do that,” you say, without even looking at him. Your eyes are focused on the lantern nearby, the yellow light brightening the surroundings. “You can’t just say shit like that and expect I’ll be okay.”

“Listen—”

“—No. No, you should listen. I don’t want you to feel that you can say anything to me, to just come back without the consequences. Just promise me. It’s not hard, it’s not complicated, you know? Communication is actually easy, if you just try hard enough.”

For a few seconds, he’s quiet. Just like he was quiet on that accurst day, when everything got fucked up. You’re quick to open your mouth, but then, he answers, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You lost your hearing or somethin’?” He tilts his head a little to the right. If Sparkles wouldn’t be in a transporter in his hand, you’d smack the shit out of him. “Maybe you do need a doctor’s visit.”

“I said so much and you—”

“There’s nothin’ for me to say. I know, and I acknowledged it,” he says, abruptly, his gaze hardening. “I fucked up. Not denying that, but right now, I want to make it right. That clear?”

That is clear, and as he’s seemingly a man of his words, you go to your apartment without any other word about the past.

You learn that he’s more of an observer than a doer. He waits for your sign, for whatever that gives him a clear message about what he should and shouldn’t do. The effect of the military gets to him even in mundane tasks like hanging the lights or tossing around a few decorations there and there. Simon doesn’t speak until he finishes, and then he just stares at you, until you’re gonna give him the next instructions.

You can’t help but laugh, when you do. He seems so lost when you do that, irritated at first, but he probably gets the message.

"I don't... do, this," he says, when he's busy rolling the dough with his rough hands. For a man like him, he's very tender with how he does it. Caring that you've told him how to do it, not using all of his power.

“Do what?” You look at him, tilting your head to the side. You know exactly what he means, but for what he put you through, he deserves to have a little struggle, to be more vocal about what he feels. He seems to know it, assuming that he pushes the dough to the surface a little harder.

“This stuff,” he explains. His way of explanation is a little different than yours, but you’ll take what he gives you.

“Baking?”

“That too,” he mutters. “It’s weird to do this.”

“But, are you having fun?”

He nods, and you take it as a final answer. As you smile under your nose, you move on to the next step. You think you’re going to make everything on time, with help like him.

“My parents died on Christmas day.”

Or not.

You drop your eggs a second later; it’s the first, genuine reaction at his sudden words. His quick reflex is the only thing that saves them from going to waste. “Christ, dove, just watch it.”

“Simon, I—”

“—Well, everyone died. Tommy, his wife, kids.” He shrugs, continuing the monologue. You don’t know if it’s a coping mechanism, trying to make it seem like it’s the most normal thing in the whole world, but in some way, it is concerning. “That… well. I just don’t do anythin’ on this day. Or before, really. I pretend it’s nothing special, so I don’t summon whatever that shit was years ago.”

To say that you’re shocked would be an understatement. You have to fight your tears right now, to completely not fall apart right in front of him. “How young were you?”

“Twenty two, I think.”

You put your hand on his—trying to console him, give him some support, even if he doesn’t look like he needs one. “I can’t tell you—”

“—No shit like this.” He looks up, crossing his gaze with yours. Despite his words, you see something in them. Something that quietly says thank you. “I’m a magnet for bad things, and for what it’s worth,” he looks at you, “I didn’t want to get you involved, if something would happen. Everyone around me dies, if I let them get too close.”

“You do know that it’s bullshit, right?” You look up at him; the choice of words isn’t exactly the best, but he seems to know that you mean, when his eyes cross with yours. “I’m so close, and I’m not going anywhere, Simon.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that. See?” You put one of his hands on your waist, the second on your face. He doesn’t move them.

Simon’s eyes darken, second by second. They’re not a dark chocolate anymore, they resemble more of a dark ocean at midnight. It’s hard to find anything light in them. “I see, but you don’t seem to understand what I mean.”

You raise your eyebrow. “Then, explain it to me.”

“It’s a one way ticket. No backin’ out after this—”

“—I don’t want to back out, so.” You mimic his careless shrugging from earlier. It’s hard to ignore how he rolls his eyes at your act. “What?”

“You’re a brat. Should listen to the elders when they talk, not interrupt them.” He mutters, taking your chin so you could look at him better. “Maybe I could teach you some manners.”

You gulp. “Maybe you could.”

Maybe this interaction is something that needed to be said or done. Maybe Simon needed to reject you at first, and then come to you, so he would tell you part of his story, no filter. Maybe.

You do not care about that, not right now.

“Stay… still,” he sighs right to your ear, his big hand going under your t-shirt.

If you’d tell yourself that Simon Riley is going to be one of the most important people for you, the past you probably wouldn’t believe any of that. The first impression wasn’t the best, you were interested in him only because of the mystical aura surrounding him.

Yet, when one of his hands is under your t-shirt, the other on your throat, you couldn’t ask for a better place to be.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #x reader #simon riley x you #cod x you #simon riley/reader #simon ghost riley fanfic #ghost x you

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space-invading-pigeon · 2 years

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Steve is the Mom Friend™, officially the most reliable member of the Party; it would be Dustin, but Dustin insists that they'd be lost without Steve there to help them. Steve doesn't argue, but he disagrees. He thinks he's too volatile to really be considered for Most Reliable.

For most of his childhood, he was isolated from his peers, who he was Not Allowed To Talk To Because They Aren't Worth A Harrington's Time, Stephen. Steve is young and still wants his parents to love him, so he obeys. He's a good boy, if a little sensitive, and therein lies the problem: he feels so much, and he doesn't have a clue on how to express any of it. He can't process his feelings, they're too big to fit in his body. It overwhelms him easily and makes his throat tight- impossible to speak. His father scolds him when he has these overwhelmed episodes, as if Steve is purposely ruining his off time at home by crying; his mother ignores him if he acts childishly. There isn't really anyone who teaches Steve how to cope with being a human.

Steve remembers that he was always angry. It felt like an itch under his skin, a low but steady humming in his veins that could explode at anything, and even back then, he despised that feeling, scared that it meant he would end up a Bad Person. He'd started getting into fights (the first one he could remember was when he was eight and Keith pushed him to get to the playground faster. Keith got a bloody nose and Steve got detention for a week) and never really stopped. By twelve, his entire school is afraid of him, except for a select few kids: Tommy H, whose dad worked with Steve's dad, Barb Holland, who thought Steve was both a good person and a blockhead, and the new Munson boy, who didn't say much of anything, but especially nothing about the time he caught Steve crying in the woods in April after his parents missed the sixth birthday in a row.

It didn't really get better until high school, when his father demanded suggested he sign up for the basketball team; practice and drills helped diffuse a lot of that stifled anger, and for the first time, Steve feels like he can breathe. He doesn't have to be angry all the time anymore, even if most of his calm is just a lack of energy. That isn't to say the anger is gone; he still gets into fights often, but he manages to tone down the violence and rely more on a sharp tongue and a lazy confidence whenever fighting is brought up.

Cue season one! Steve, at the top of his game, the bloody, undisputed King of Hawkins High, is absolutely head over heels for sweet, shy Nancy Wheeler. He bares his soul to Nancy, who, after hearing what he has to say, promises that she'll be there for him. They're together now, they look after each other. It's everything Steve had ever wanted.

When he finds out about the creepy photos Jonathan took of them at Steve's pool on the night Barb went missing (and I love Jonathan, I really do, but what the hell man), he feels that anger starting to boil over again and panics. He was doing so well! Nancy would help, though, just hearing that find "You're an idiot, Steve Harrington" would cool him off. But it worsens when he tries to sneak in to Nancy's room and Jonathan is SLEEPING in Nancy's bed, half-curled around her. Steve doesn't want to get the cops called on him again, so he goes home.

The next day, it all boils over. He tried to stay calm, really, but it was like using a wine cork to stop a volcano; he stands by while Carol and Tommy spread rumors about Nancy, smirks cruelly while Carol spray paints the slur on the movie theater sign, and does not give an inch when Nancy calls him an ass, tears in her eyes and flanked by Jonathan. He's trying his damnedest to keep his hands to himself, though (his father wasn't happy the last time Steve got arrested, and somehow Steve knew that he wouldn't be happy if it happened again), so he's caught off guard when Jonathan starts throwing punches. (Later, Steve will admit that he doesn't really remember what he'd said to make Jonathan so angry that he'd actually try to fight Steve, but he'll apologize anyway. Jonathan is quick to forgive, and apologizes for starting the fight, as well). Steve's memory gets spotty around this time; he remembers a sharp pain in his head, just above his left ear, and being so dizzy that he struggles not to throw up, but he doesn't remember Jonathan landing any other hits (he has three bruises, two around his sternum and one under his eye, as well as a split lip), and he definitely does not remember running from the police trying to break up the fight.

It takes him a few hours to calm down, but it's largely due to the gap in his memory keeping him confused and panicked; he can't remember what he said, and Jonathan Byers may be a girlfriend-stealer but Steve remembers that he's also the kid who held funerals for the mice caught in the traps behind the school gym. Whatever he said had to have been really, really messed up, and Steve genuinely hates that he gets angry, that it isn't uncommon for him to lose time to his anger, that his first response to anything is always anger. So he goes to apologize.

The loaded gun pointed at his face is somehow the least upsetting part of that night.

During season 2, there's a lot going on. Steve has been working so hard on his anger, on keeping a lid on it and actually processing his emotions (thank you, therapy that Hopper demanded Hawkins Lab provide), but it wasn't enough. Nancy resented him, had actually blamed him for Barb's death, and that bitterness came to a head on Halloween.

Without Nancy, Steve struggled a lot more. He had nothing, no one; he didn't have anyone to tell about his parents' death in early June, and he didn't like talking about his wealth. There was no support system- until Dustin decided that Steve was going to help him. The kid was relentless and demanding and trusted Steve to help him almost immediately. Steve could hardly keep up, but he loved the feeling. And, when they ended up in a junkyard bus surrounded by demon dogs, he had three people depending on him, and suddenly he had a way to channel his anger (Dr. Harris would be so proud when he told her). He had a bat and enough unresolved trauma to rival those people his dad used to talk about with shell shock, and by the gods he was going to use that. He went apeshit on some demodogs, saved the kid's lives, and apparently became a big brother to a genius boy and a little girl that could probably fight God and win. He also got his third concussion when Max's stepbrother threatened to kill Lucas, but the order of events for that night is skewed; he blames the concussion. The doctor Hopper forced him to go to after said that he may never hear out of his left side again.

Season 3 sees Steve with a little family that he built all on his own: there's Will (who's shy but has a smile like sunshine when Steve asks him about anything), Jonathan (who cried when Steve asks if they can be friends and then proceeds to infodump on musicians every time he hears Steve so much as hum in a mildly musical manner), Max (the girl with a keen sense and a quick wit, whose older brother terrifies Steve because that's exactly how he could have turned out had he not gotten help), Lucas (who treated Steve like the big brother he never had and often called him racist for trivial things ["Steve, can we order pizza?" No. "Is it because I'm black?"]) Erica (who just sorta showed up with Lucas on occasion and reminded Steve just how fun it could be to be That Bitch), Mike (who alternated between passive assholery and cartoon-esque assassination attempts), Nancy, shockingly (who sat Steve down soon after the massacre at the hospital and apologized for blaming him for- well, everything. They'd talked for a long time, hashing it out, and by the end of it, Steve felt like he had a friend), Eleven (who comes by every Wednesday and Saturday for homemade waffles and a secret knitting circle), and Dustin (who became like a real little brother in the span of three days and never looked back. Steve vowed to keep Dustin safe with everything in him that night in the tunnels.).

He meets Robin when he gets a job at Starcourt (he may be set for life but Hop had told him that hard work built character, and Hop was the kind of man Steve wanted to become). She's wary of him, at first, especially when she watches him break the ice cream machine in a (now rare) fit of anger after a customer blew up at him for their ice cream melting before they finished it. But then he stammers through an apology and brings her a batch of cookies the next day, and tries to explain that he's better now, really, and Robin decides that he's a good person deep down. Maybe not too deep down, though, because his cookies are the best she's ever had. Besides, watching his face turn cherry red as he hides behind the shelves to spy on the repair guy is the most entertaining thing she's seen all summer, possibly in her life.

("Steve, you're drooling," she warns, and Steve hurriedly checks his chin.

"I'm making sure he doesn't get his hair stuck in the machine!" He tries to defend.

"First, his hair is under that bandanna. Second, Eddie Munson would rather die than ruin his rockstar hair.")

Their ice cream machine breaks six more times before Dustin comes back from camp, and each time Steve is a flustered mess talking to Eddie Munson. To his credit, Eddie only gives Steve a half-fond, amused smile before chatting with him about nothing in particular. After the third time, Eddie starts calling Steve "big boy" and lightly teasing him over the fist-shaped dents in the side of the machine.

Steve fights the Russians in the secret Starcourt base, not because they're coming at him, but because one of them reaches out for Dustin/Erica. The edges of his vision blurs, and distantly he knows that he's experiencing something like his childhood episodes: all his can feel is fire in his soul, burning straight through his body, and he has to get it out, he has to protect his brother-

"Wow, Steve won a fight!" Dustin crows as Steve is coming back to himself, his whole body trembling with leftover rage and no one to take it out on. Steve just clutches Dustin to him and tries to breathe. Dustin allows it for two minutes, then starts to squirm, but Steve doesn't release him until they hear footsteps.

With Dustin and Erica safe, Steve surrenders pretty easily- he needed to save his energy. But then they started the "interrogation," and Robin sounded so scared, and they hurt his hands and there were drugs-

Steve faintly remembers jumping onto a man (so tall and broad that Steve briefly felt like he was just a backpack) and biting him, locking his jaw and clawing like a feral cat. Robin remembers Steve promising to "smack the red right out of you commie assholes" while forcing his way through the tunnels, but she can't be sure if it was real or the drugs they were given. Dustin recalls Steve giggling at the movie they were hiding in, like a dork. Erica will never forget that Steve has a Berserker mode, or that he protected her even though she was in the process of blackmailing him for free ice cream.

In October of '85, Jason Carver catches him in the high school parking lot one night as he waits for Hellfire to get out. Steve denies all memories of what was said between them, but Jason walks away without need for an ambulance, so he counts it as a win.

In December of '85, the day that the kids all get out for Christmas Break, Chrissy Cunningham finds him in the parking lot and they sit for nearly an hour talking about projects for their secret knitting circle with the police chief's daughter. As hellfire let's out, Chrissy leaves, and Steve gets to watch as the older members walk his kids to his car, like awkward little nerdy gentlemen. Eddie always hands them off with a flourish and a wink. ("The children, Your Highness," he would say confidently, his three nerds behind him giving him nervous looks. "Perhaps you'll join us next week, my liege?" Steve pretends to be unamused by his theatrics, but Eddie has an infectious grin and a genuinely happy shine to his eyes.)

Season 4, Steve is definitely on edge, twitchy as they search for Eddie. He's worried for Dustin, who is attracted to trouble and smart enough to drag everyone else into it too, but also for Eddie, who occasionally popped by Family Video to talk with Robin. According to Eddie, he's allowed in the break room and behind the counter because he and Robin are "friends of Dorothy". Steve doesn't even know a Dorothy. (Eddie usually waits until Steve walks away in a flustered, confused huff before whispering to Robin, "Dorothy says: be gay, do crime.")

Eddie held a jagged glass bottle to his neck and Steve didn't feel anything. He wasn't scared for his life like the news promised he would be, nor was he angry like he'd expected he would be. Eddie shuffles around nervously, but the only thing Steve feels is concern for him.

He gets dragged through the Watergate and immediately attacked by those godawful bats- he was almost in the boat, they had to help Max, he would not lose his baby sister, and boom, he's back to fighting. He fends them off with the help of Eddie, Robin, and Nancy, all of whom he is furious with for following him into the Upside Down like idiots.

"Harrington's got her. Don't ya, big boy?" Eddie teased, and Steve felt electricity through his whole being. His face flushed red and he stammered an affirmative, not noticing Robin or Eddie as they grinned at each other. Eddie stuck close the entire time they were in the RV, and if Steve didn't know better, he'd say Eddie was flirting with him. But he did know better, there was no way Eddie was flirting. He was on the run and desperate for human interaction.

Separating for the plan was the hardest thing Steve had ever done. While Dustin was getting ready, Steve pulled Eddie aside. "Please keep him safe. I'll do anything you want, just please, don't let anything happen to him," he begged, desperately clutching Eddie's sleeves. "He's my brother, Eddie, I can't lose him-"

"I promise, Steve," Eddie had interrupted. "I'll guard him with my life."

"Guard him with mine," Steve insisted. Eddie didn't get it at first, but it would hit him later that Steve wanted Eddie to keep them both safe.

Steve would never tell a soul, but he liked confronting Vecna. Armed with chemical weapons, Robin stayed a bit behind, but Nancy emptied round after round into One, and Steve? Steve got to use his bat.

It was exhilarating; as much as he hated his anger problems, he could not deny that it felt good to attack the source of all their problems. His arms grew tired after a while, though, and Vecna seemed distracted, disoriented, so Steve resorted to his usual tactics. He never fought fair: biting, scratching, clawing his way to victory in everyday scuffles, there was no way he'd give up this opportunity.

Something in him twists suddenly. He feels sick to his stomach and scared, but he has no idea why. All he can think about is Eddie and Dustin- he's hurt he's hurt he'shurtheshurtheshurt. So he makes the decision to go back; Nancy and Robin technically have the injured Vecna under control. He runs.

Eddie is being swarmed when he makes it to the trailer. One minute, Steve watches as they descend on his friend(?), and the next, he's supporting an injured Eddie as they hobble together to Wayne Munson's truck, Wayne on Eddie's other side and rambling about "what the hell is going on" so similarly to Hop that Steve feels the hollow sting of loss. Later, as they rest in the living room of Steve's empty house, Dustin tells Steve about what he saw: Eddie, going to the ground, unable to fight them off any longer, hope lost and grief already tearing its claws into Dustin's chest, and then out of nowhere Steve appears, covered in bits of vine and rock. He tells Steve about the enraged roar he could hear from the trailer (ten feet behind Dustin as his hobbling came to a stop) and the nail bat that had yet to leave Steve's hand swinging at each assailant with such a precision that, for a brief moment in the chaos, Dusting could hear the sounds of an orchestra playing a symphony, Steve as their ragged, bloodied maestro. He tells Steve about the wild look in Steve's eyes as he carried a half-conscious Eddie into the trailer, snarling about how stupid and careless Eddie was, and how moronic Dustin was for jumping through a gate the way he did. He tells Steve about the stray demobat that burst through the door, how Steve grabbed it with his bare hands and ripped it in half- Dustin's got stars in his eyes as he relays this, even now, days later.

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This kinda got away from me I'm sorry

I'm still new to people wanting to read what I write so I'm just gonna tag the one person I know was also excited about steve being feral: @amoris-no-smut-allowed

#steddie #stranger things headcanons #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie and steve #the party #let steve go apeshit #feral steve #steve can cook #let steve go feral

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tossawary · 5 months

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When writing both original fiction and fanfiction, it's my personal preference and style to remind people who characters are in the narration when I feel it might be needed. It's especially handy when bringing OCs into a fanfiction. Example: "The person calling out to them was [Character's Name Here], the baker they had met earlier that morning." This quirk of narration often reads to me as the POV character internally reminding themselves who someone is.

Sometimes, a character is quite bad with names or wasn't given one, which is where it's handy to refer to this other character by a fixed epithet. Example: "The person calling out to them was the square-faced man from yesterday, who had given them those bad directions." OR: "The person calling out to them was the mayor's daughter." This reads to me as though the POV character is distinguishing people by a particular feature or remembers them by their relationship to someone else, which is a common way to remember people, until their own name becomes more fixed in your mind.

I also think it's important to keep an epithet / title the same across a scene. Epithets are best used, in my opinion, when that particular feature or quality is actually relevant. It's a little weird for a POV character to suddenly think of their own husband as "the tall man" unless his height is suddenly important in some way, and it might confuse the audience into thinking another person is in the room. If a character doesn't have a name, then "the square-faced man" or "the mayor's daughter" effectively becomes their name, and it's confusing to have a character's name change too much with every other paragraph. (It would be fine to also refer to "the mayor's daughter" as "the girl" or "the young woman" as long as there aren't any other nameless girls speaking in the scene.) Keeping the same title allows it to blend in in the same way that the word "said" does, rather than break up the flow of a scene.

Not every person or character is bad with names and remembering people, of course, or is inclined to give them funny little internal titles. There are people who are very good at names. There are tricks to use to get yourself to memorize names as you're introduced to someone. Narrative styles are going to be different by author and by the current POV character. (Sometimes, you might want the audience to be confused and disoriented!)

In fact, thinking about how different characters think about each other is one of my favorite starting places for crafting a perspective voice. A single character might be referred to in the narration as "His Majesty" by one character, "my husband" by another character, "the king" by a third character, "the usurper" by a fourth character, and "Dad" by a fifth. The name that a character calls someone else by will often say a lot about their relationship and their opinion of that other person. If the prince appears to think of his father as "the king" rather than "Father", that implies something about their relationship.

But back to introducing character names, you as an author, in my experience as a writer and reader, generally can't rely on the audience to easily recall very minor character names unless they're very distinct or the character was introduced in a particularly memorable way. Like, if you introduce a character as the protagonist's best friend, Mary, and immediately start refering to her as Mary because it's followed by a conversation between the protagonist and Mary, that's fair! It's reasonable to expect the audience to just learn Mary's name here! But then if Mary disappears after Chapter 1 and doesn't show up again until Chapter 10, I think it's reasonable to subtly reintroduce her to the audience again. Example: "It was Mary smiling at me from the doorway, and I jumped up to hug my best friend immediately."

Like, there's no one way that you have to refer to characters and introduce them and reintroduce them, of course. Characters have different levels of importance and sometimes we don't really need to know who they are. Sometimes, an author wants an audience to feel grounded, to recognize people, and sometimes they want their audience to feel lost and scared. It's all situational. Style is a thing.

But because it's all situational, this is something I like thinking about and I think it's something worth studying when you're reading original fiction. It's interesting to pay attention to how characters enter and exit scenes in different forms of media, and how the narrator introduces them and how other characters greet them aloud. (Shakespeare comes to mind as a neat thing to look at, to see how theatre does it. Comic books and films and visual media will do it differently to a text-only story.) The audience doesn't have the background that you, the author, carry around in your head all of the time, and you often need to give them a helping hand in keeping your cast of characters straight. Even in fanfiction, without including OCs, not everyone in the audience has the whole canonical cast perfectively memorized, and not every character in any given cast actually knows every other character! It's not just OCs who need introductions, whether those introductions happen subtly or a character enters the story with a bang.

Kind of another side note:

One of my favorite character introductions comes from the book "The Princess Bride", in which Princess Buttercup is kidnapped by three men who are referred to only as "the Spaniard", "the Turk", and "the Sicilian". You don't know their names for quite some time. Buttercup doesn't know these people.

You only learn the Spaniard's name when the Sicilian leaves him at the top of a cliff, tasking him the Spaniard fighting and killing "the Man in Black" who is pursuing their kidnapping. When the Spaniard is about to fight someone to the death, the book pauses to tell you that his name is Inigo Montoya, and then there is an ENTIRE CHAPTER dedicated to Inigo Montoya's long and tragic backstory, in which you learn about his decades-long quest to find the six-fingered man who murdered his father. And then the book abruptly dumps you the audience back out onto that cliff, where Inigo (no longer just "the Spaniard" and no longer just some random kidnapping thug) is about to fight for his life.

I think it's a terribly fun piece of whiplash that suits the comedic style of the book really well. (The book is a little different to the movie and there are things about it that I don't like, the movie gets across a level of a sincerity and love through the acting that the book misses in places, but there are lots of really funny elements to the book that the movie sadly couldn't cover.) The transformation from "the Spaniard" into "Inigo Montoya" is really neat to me.

#tossawary fandom #tossawary reading #long post #tossawary tpb

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leclercsloveletter · 9 months

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CL16 | friends or not (pt 2)

Summary: You love Charles, but he keeps you treading on the line between friends and strangers. The humiliation and frustration finally got to you.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem reader

Words count: 2060

Warning: Google translated French

Author's note: Thank you for your support on my first ever fic here! I’m so shock everyone wanted a part 2 so I stayed up til 4AM for this🫶

Life without Charles is just normal life 90% of the time, other than the fact that you allow yourself to see other people. You wish it was easy to indulge in others after him.

Charles lingers as the silent architect of your thoughts, he made a home in your gut and sucked you dry of the ability to spare anyone else half the intimacy you gave him. The touch of others only serves as a poignant reminder of the electrifying chemistry your body once had with him. So when Lando's rough hand rests on your waist, it weighs like an anvil, sinking you onto the floor of the FIA's gala.

Going out with your somewhat ex's coworker isn't the brightest idea, but Monaco is a small place. Once you get roped up into the circle of drivers and their little games, it's hard to get out with your dignity intact. Besides, Lando was one that you can confidently rely on. He was there and he was listening when Charles decided you weren't worthy of his time. Maybe he was waiting for you to break so he could come in, and snatch you up like a vulture for himself, it doesn't matter anymore.

"Darling, are you alright?"

"Yea I'm good Lando, I'm just dreading a bit"

You appreciate Lando breaking the flow of conversation just to check up on you. He let out a sigh before holding you closer

"Y/n, it's okay. I asked so he would be seated at the other end of the table. I know we aren't a committed item yet and it's not in my position to say this but, be mine for tonight, please?"

He held one of your hands in his, giving it a small kiss. He was so kind, so charming, so convincing that you smile back and nod. Lando leans in for a quick kiss that you reciprocate, ignoring every fibre in your body that's screaming from someone's gaze at the other end of the room.

Charles's and your body are in tune in a mysterious way, so when he walks into the gala with his new girl, the air in your lungs thickens into syrup. With his crisp suit, new haircut, and a girl he seems to care more about, Charles looks like a vessel of the Charlie that once had you. Except for the cufflinks you gave him when he won in F2, you wonder if his girl knew. But you already promised Lando that you would be his for tonight, to give him the undivided attention that anyone deserves from their partner. So you lean in closer to him and let his words flow through your head.

Time passes, the alcohol kicks into your system has dulled out and now waiting to be excreted. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom, someone was in there too.

"Oh hey, you're Lando's girlfriend?"

She was beautiful, elegant, and kind. In a red dress that hugged her body exactly where she wanted it to be, her posture so proper it put ballerinas to shame. A girl worthy of Charles's time.

"That's me, I'm Y/n L/n. I see you with Leclerc?"

"Yeah, I'm Charlotte, nice to meet you."

You shake hands, and although you both look well groomed, nails and hair freshly done, you can't help but feel humiliated by her. You both exchange some words and follow each other on Instagram before she returns to her table and you find a stall to sit in silence. Jealousy is a fitting word, humbled is one too, there were so many noises buzzing through your head at once. You need a smoke before going back into that room.

Paris is cold at night, the jacket hung loosely on your shoulders was supposed to be nothing more than a decoration so you shivered when pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. You shoot Lando a text so he knows you're fine and just need a break from the event, he replies with "Gotcha darling, stay warm" and a cutesy emoji, you feel bad for him.

"Still haven't quit smoking Y/n?"

Oh that voice, the voice that makes you want to drop everything to punch him in the face and then kiss him through the blood.

"I think I'll be committed to it until it takes me out, Charles."

"So, how's life?"

The 3 words take you right back to that night in Monte Carlo, it wasn't that long ago, but in your misery, it felt like the previous life.

"Doin' pretty well, got me a cute boy. Doing my master's degree right now, new job, new car, what a life."

"You miss me so much you swoop down to date my friend Y/n?"

"Bold of you to assume everything is about you."

You replied sharply, the embers of the cigarette gazing at your fingertips before you threw it over the balcony you were standing on. The audacity he has is astonishing sometimes, you turn to him

"My life before was all about you, everything I did was for you. Now? I want nothing to do with you Leclerc, I'm sorry that your coworker likes me and he actually cares for me when you weren't around."

Charles was frozen to the ground, he didn't expect such an outburst, not that he would ever. You look at him for a moment, stunned that after everything, all the changes and pain you went through, he made no progress. You walk past him to go back inside, not without putting a hand on his shoulder with a sigh

"Charlotte seems nice, treat her well."

Lando was shocked when you told him you're moving to Milan to finish up your last year of master's. He was borderline begging for you to stay despite the whole non-committed thing you guys have. It's funny how you ran away from a situationship to have a new one that lasted more than a year, at least this one was healthier.

"Lando hun, I'm sorry. But I can't stay in Monaco for now, I need something else just for a moment. I'll keep in contact yeah? I'll update you on Pierre and Yuki too."

You hold him tight, there are no tears but only a shared understanding that you both won't work out and mostly, he knew you need to get away from Charles. Neither you nor Lando can live under that shadow, it's merciful that you let each other be. Even when you have to deny the attraction you held for the driver. Packing was easy enough, with boxes of stuff already being shipped to Italy and pictures of Pierre unpacking and messing with your decors in the new flat have been sent.

Your phone buzzes menacingly

"I heard you're moving to Milan, safe trip."

"Thank you, Charles, will tell Pierre you said hi."

Even in moments like this, he taunted you. He's everywhere in your apartment, at the same time, left nothing behind but you. You know when the plane lands in Milan, it will be a true new life. Maybe fate will let you live there, somewhere in Sicily or Naples sipping on limoncello and wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

"Motherfucker, Pierre you didn't tell me Milan was going to be hot as hell?!"

"I thought you checked the weather?! Don't blame me?!"

Banter with Pierre flows smoothly, if there is someone who complimented your insanity, it's Pierre. It's scary how he also possessed the ability to read you like a book, Frenchmen have superpowers you guessed. What you didn't expect however was sitting on the balcony of your new apartment over a glass of wine while he questioned your motive for moving to Milan.

"I know you won't just move here if you still can tolerate his existence Y/n. What was the final straw?"

"There was none, Pierre, it's just nothing was working out and I need a change-"

"Ferme ta gueule Y/n, I knew you both too well for you to think I would believe that"

You pull your legs up to your chest, getting cozy on the beanbag before chugging the whole glass of wine. Pierre has been out of the loop so you told him everything, the catch-up dinner when you broke it off with him, the gala where you both brought someone new and that balcony conversation. Even the little ones like him acting so nonchalantly and saying hi to you on the street or the "safe trip" text. Pierre listens without judgement, although if you add your own hesitancy in there, you would deserve every colourful insult he could think of.

"And do you wanna know the funniest thing is? He never realised where he went wrong, he never truly understood why or how. I'm the villain in his story because I broke his heart. Meanwhile, he shattered my fucking entire existence."

"Do you still love him then?"

"I do Pierre, with every breathing moment."

You have to go see Monza, Pierre and Yuki basically dragged you there despite your objection of "I will support you at home on TV". So now you're walking around in the hospitality area, munching on some rather good croissants. Pierre shot you a text to come down to the paddock which you reluctantly agree to.

"Come down with us!! @ AlphaTauri paddock right now."

The AlphaTauri paddock is a bit of a walk away, so naturally, you passed by the Ferrari's. Seeing his face plastered on the paddock wasn't a fun experience but it's fine you said. Until the actual model of those pictures caught you off guard.

"Hey"

Every cell on your body screams the fire you thought you diminished lit up like the Olympic torch. You turn around to see Charles in his race suit, painfully beautiful and surprisingly alone.

"Hi Charles, I'm on my way to Yuki and Pierre. Good luck for today."

Before you can leave, he grabs your arm and you let him pull you back. For the first time, he actually tried to hang on to you.

"Uh, I'm free tonight, I want to talk but over dinner of course. Will you?"

Saying no to Charles Leclerc is like forcing you to shoot an elderly lady in the head. It's impossible and unnatural for you to even consider denying him of anything. And it didn't help when he added

"S'il vous plaît?"

Charles was never one to ask you for something with "please". Your body was always given in a heated clash of tongue and teeth, your soul is even worse. But something shook in you, Charles saying "please" like he's begging for you to spare him your time. The time that you deserved.

"Alright, usual time?"

"Usual time"

He won in Monza that day.

"So, how's life?"

Same question, every time, like clockwork. But this time you're in Monza, next to some random canal reflecting the city on its ever-moving water.

"I'm sorry"

"You what?"

Charles' words stunned you. You don't know how to feel, isn't this what you were waiting for? Him to be sorry so you can run back into his arms and love him once more?

"I'm sorry for being hot and cold, I'm sorry for leading you on Y/n. I'm sorry for not seeing your side and wasting your youth. I always wanted us but I was stupid to fuck it up. So please-"

"Stop right there."

Charles looks up in shock, his eyes are almost brimming with tears. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Thank you for apologising, I don't forgive you, Charlie. I don't think I can. So if you're asking me to leave it all behind and act like you didn't throw me down the trenches then don't. However..."

Your heart beats so loudly, that you can feel the blood rushing and the fire coursing through your veins.

"I believe in redemption. So hi, my name is Y/n L/n"

You give out a hand for him to shake, vision starting to blur from tears. Charles stares at your outreaching hand for a moment before grabbing it with speed and strength, as if you would regret it any moment.

"Hi, I'm Charles, Charles Leclerc."

"Like the F1 driver? I think we will be great friends then"

Monza never shines brighter, maybe even more than Monte Carlo.

"I hope so too"

Tag list for this fic: @janeholt3

#charles leclerc #cl16 #f1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 drivers #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x fem reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc angst #Spotify

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messedupfan · 5 months

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Chapter 16

Summary: After finding out about your possible attendance at Tommy and Billy's big day, Vision decides to pay you a visit.

A/n: Hello! This one is short haha Also did any of y'all get to see the eclipse? Crazy!! Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | All Chapters

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You and Pietro are staring at the blueprints for the building that the company has been working on. There was a measurement off on an area which has made the work halt until someone can figure out what went wrong. The two of you are trying to decipher where the issue is and what the best solution would be when Vision storms onto the job site.

“Vision, you're not allowed to be here. You're an unauthorized civilian in a construction zone,” Pietro says as he steps around the table to prevent his former brother-in-law from moving further into the unpredictable space.

“I'm here to speak with Y/n. I'm not leaving until I do,” he states and you aren't sure what he could possibly want with you.

“We are trying to work,” Pietro glares at Vision. “Actual life threatening work, not standing pretty in a room full of hungover college students.”

Vision looks at Pietro for a moment then looks back at you. “Do you have a minute?”

Pietro is about to say something when you decide to cut in. “Just this once, Vision,” you grab a spare hard hat and plop it on his head. “Regulations, I’m sure you’ve taught your students about them.” You pat him on the back before guiding him out of the construction zone. He takes the hard hat off and roughly returns it to you as he fixes his hair. “What is so important, Vision? I’m needed inside.”

“I want you to stay away from the tournament,” he states.

You lick your lips in thought and look past him to the job site. The concrete mixing machine is spinning and you fantasize for a moment about pushing Vision into a space and burying him in the concrete. You shake the thought away and look back at Vision. “Why would I do that? Tommy and Billy invited me.”

“That doesn’t matter, I’m uninviting you. They are my boys and if anyone is going to be there to support them, it’s going to be me!” Vision says as he tries to intimidate you. His reasoning for keeping you away confuses you. Why does he really not want you there?

“Vision, no one is saying you can’t be there. Why are you making this a ‘it’s me or you’ thing? This isn’t about either of us, it’s about your sons. I have been helping them practice and they want to show me that our hard work has paid off. Why is that such a bad thing?” You ask, instead of agreeing to stay away. You knew that he was going to make this into a thing, but you don’t understand why it has to be. It’s not like you are dating Wanda or trying to replace him as his kids parent. You don’t understand why he has such a problem with you.

“I know that you have been helping them. You know how I know? Because they don’t stop talking about it. I have friends and colleagues that have children in their class. What kind of father will people think I am if Tommy and Billy give you all of the credit? I don’t want them to run to you when they win. They will be running to me because you won’t be there. Understood? You are to stay away,” he says bitterly and now you understand what’s happening. He doesn’t want his image of being an involved father to be affected. It upsets you that he could easily earn that credit and praise by spending time with his kids. But he relies on everyone else doing the heavy lifting and keeping their mouths shut. You find it ridiculous. “The tournament is happening on my weekend. So I have to be there. They aren’t your kids, you can make up some excuse and not show up. Or else,” he threatens.

“Do you have something to support your ‘or else’ or were you hoping that was enough for me to agree to cancel?” You ask, bored of this conversation.

“Just, leave my kids alone. Okay?” Vision walks away and you sigh. You knew when you accepted the twins invitation two weeks ago, you were going to upset Vision. You didn’t realize that you were making him feel insecure as a parent. You return to work to try and push the encounter out of your mind.

The issue turned out to be a simple adjustment. Everyone cheered because it could have been much worse. It could have taken weeks to fix. There could have been a fatal accident. It could have cost materials that would have taken weeks to replace. It could have been missed until inspection and that would have had the building demolished. The list of scenarios could go on and on. You and Pietro are more than happy about the results of an easy fix.

You forget all about Vision's visit until during your lunch break when Pietro asks what the man wanted. “For me to stay away from Tommy and Billy’s tournament,” you shrugged. It was something you were expecting but you didn't think he would cause a scene at your place of work.

Pietro nods and takes a bite of his food as he looks at the other crew members around the two of you. “Did he say why he doesn't want you there?”

“Kind of? The gist of it was he's an absent father and he doesn't want the rest of the world to know that,” you shake your head and laugh a little as you think back on the conversation. “I tried to threaten me but there's nothing he can do. I'm still going.”

Pietro makes a face, “Threaten you? How so?”

“Well, he just said,” you clear your throat as you get ready to imitate the British man. “Stay away or else!” You roll your eyes. “It's ridiculous, he didn't have anything to say when I asked him what he would do. Because he can't do anything to me.”

“Maybe not to you, but he could do something to my sister. Or worse, he could pull the boys out of that class or make sure they don't show up to the event. I don't know.” Pietro pushes his food around his plate. “All I'm saying is that he can't do anything to you but he can do something to them. So maybe, don't go.”

You frown as you consider Pietro's advice. He was right. Vision might not be able to touch you but he can hurt Wanda and her kids.

Later that night, when you're picking up Rachel from Wanda's house, you feel terrible as you think of the ways Vision can hurt them and the only thing that you can do is comply and hurt them in a different way. “What's on your mind? You've been more quiet than usual,” Wanda asks as she hands you a clean plate to dry.

“I um,” you aren't sure if you should tell her about the encounter earlier. But I'd you're considering canceling on her boys, you can't lie to her. “Vision came to see me today. He doesn't want me there to support the boys next Saturday.”

“What?” Wanda stops scrubbing the pan she was cleaning. “Are fucking kidding me?” She scoffs as she shakes her head. She figured that Vision would come to her when he found out about you attending the event. She can't believe he dislikes you so much. She truly doesn't understand it. “What did you tell him?”

“What I told him and what I’m considering are conflicting,” you truthfully tell her. “I don’t want Vision to do something to the boys or even become a bigger headache for you.”

Wanda nods, she knew that whatever Vision threw at her, she could handle it. However, she agreed that the boys shouldn’t get affected by their father's tantrums. She takes a deep breath. “What are we going to tell them?”

You are a little touched when she includes herself in this conflict. That this isn't something you have to deal with on your own. “I haven’t figured that part out yet. I wasn't sure if I should fight him or not.”

“I know how much the boys would love to have you there but,” she sighs as she hands you the last dish. “Vision can't hurt either of us and he knows that. I don't want to believe that he would do something to hurt his kids but, let's face it. His priorities aren't exactly where they should be.” You dry the plate and set it aside as you nod. “So, we're just going to have to tell them that something came up and that you won't be able to attend. But we'll wait until the end of the week to tell them. Make it seem more urgent.”

You nod with a deep frown. It hurts that you had to cancel on the boys. They've been so excited during the practices that you've done with them since that first night. You don't want to disappoint them but it's better that it's you and not Vision.

On the day that you do have to break the news, Tommy called you a stupid head and said that he didn't want you there in the first place before he stormed up to his room. Billy just cried. Rachel asks you a million questions on the way home. It makes you feel terrible. Nothing could have prepared you for the heartache you felt when you said that you couldn't be there for them.

In the middle of the week, Vision had a basket sent to your apartment with a thank you note. You tossed it in the trash. You couldn't believe that you let him win. All you could do was hope that they'd forgive you or at least forget about the let down.

You tried to forget about it the rest of the week. On Friday, your friends want to go out so you join them. You don't drink as much as you have in the past when hanging out with them but you, Bucky, Steve, and Darcy end up staying out until close to three in the morning. The four of you had a lot of fun. The night started out at a simple bar with a few drinks then it led to one of those modern arcades with a bar. At a certain point, you noticed that Steve and Bucky had gone missing. Darcy claimed that it happens every time she hangs out with them so you didn't question the disappearance. And when they reappeared, you were having too much fun to realize that they had switched shirts.

Everyone ended up crashing at your place instead of going to their homes. You chose to sleep in Rachel's room to give Darcy your bed while Steve and Bucky crashed in the living room. You plugged your phone in and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

In the next afternoon Darcy is shoving you awake. “Answer your damn phone! Some of us weren't made to sleep through natural disaster!” She grouchs as she continues to shake you.

Groggy and discombobulated you squinted through your eyes as the bright sun shone through the blinds. You stretch and yawn as your phone starts ringing again. It's louder than you remember it ever being. You quickly answer the call before checking who it is. “Hello?”

“Y/n, thank goodness!” Wanda says urgently. You spring up in bed, alarmed by her tone.

“What happened? What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it the boys?” You say as you get out of bed.

“Woah, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I mean, it's an emergency but it's not a life threatening one,” she says, a little calmer this time.

Your body relaxes instantly. “Sorry, I'm just waking up. I had um quite a night. Anyway… What's the emergency?” Darcy shouts that you're being too loud so you step out onto the balcony.

“Hold on, are you with someone?” Wanda asks instead.

“No, that's just Darcy,” you say. “She spent the night because we were out late. Bucky and Steve are here as well. But ignore all of that, why are you calling?” You check the time and frown. “Shouldn't you be cheering the boys on soon?”

“Vision dropped the boys off and disappeared,” she says. “I can't get a hold of him. Every time I call it goes straight to voicemail. I asked Tommy and Billy what he said when he dropped them off but their answer wasn't helpful. They're devastated,” she continues and it seems like she's going to say more but instead she says. “Sorry, I don't know why I called I-”

“I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can,” you interrupt before she says that she shouldn't have called you. It makes you happy that she called you for this. “I've got to get ready, I'll see you in a bit. Bye,” you hang up the phone before she can protest.

You quickly inform Darcy that you have to leave and why. She stops you from grabbing your keys. “Not so fast boo boo the fool. You smell like sweat and booze. Shower first, I'll put together some clean clothes and then you can go play superhero.” You don't think you have time but you do have an odor and you don't look very presentable. In fact, you'd hope that they'd refuse entry to someone in your state.

You quickly rinse off the previous night and throw on the clothes that Darcy laid out for you. Steve and Bucky are sitting at the kitchen table and Darcy is making them coffee as you pass them. “Darcy, you have my spare right? Please lock up before you leave.”

“What? Why does Darcy have a spare and I don't?” Steve asks, offended. “We've been friends longer.”

Darcy taps his head, “Hush, they’re on a mission.” She looks up at you with an innocent smile as Steve scratches his head. “Don't worry, I'll be sure to lock up. Now go, go!”

You thank her before racing out of the building. When you arrive, you find Wanda consoling her boys with their Sensei. Someone steps out of the gym and when the door opens you can hear that the event has already started. You jog over to Wanda. “Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was just,” you don't get to finish your excuse because Billy crashes against you and greets you with a tight hug. You wrap your arms around him. “Hey buddy, it's alright,” you say gently as you carefully pry him off of you. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be in there kicking butt?” You ask as you level with him.

Billy wipes his tears, “I couldn't because I was sad.”

You frown, “Sad? Why were you sad?” You move some of his hair out of his face and pull a bandana out of your pocket to help wipe his tears out of his prescription goggles.

“Because my daddy didn't want to be here and neither did you,” he admits and your heart drops to the pit of your stomach.

You shake your head. “That’s not,” you sigh and look behind him to Wanda standing beside Tommy, he is giving you his best death glare that reminds you a lot of Vision. “I’m sorry that I made you think that, Billy. I thought that there was something more important but I was wrong. Nothing is more important than seeing you and your brother compete today.”

“Really?” Billy squeaks as his eyes start to brighten up a bit. You can see so much of Wanda in him. You grin as you nod.

“Billy, sometimes we are given two choices and I don't always pick the right one. But you are smarter than me. So I'm going to give you,” you point to his chest as you speak, “two choices. Number one, you can quit now and we can all go home. We might watch a movie but there will be nothing to show for it. Or number two, you can show everyone in that room what your Sensei has taught you and what we have worked on together. You and your brother could win trophies and get new belts and then we can go out to celebrate. Which one do you think you should pick?” You try to make one option seem a little more appealing than the other to try and get him inside.

Billy looks at you then to his mom, then to his instructor, and lastly, he looks to his brother. “Do you want to?” Tommy had his arms crossed over his chest with an angry frown and a deep scowl. You could tell that between the two, he was the one that refused to perform. His way of having control over the situation. Something that he was learning from his father. If you don't give him what he wants, he tries to take something away. In this case, he's not getting his father's approval so he's making it so that they don't participate. It hurts Vision’s image, which isn't something that Tommy knows much about. He can't stop playing his father's words over and over in his head, don't embarrass me.

Tommy steps forward, “If we go in there, are you going to stay?”

“I'm going to stay,” you promise. His features soften and he grabs his brother's hand and takes him over to their Sensei. The three walk through the double doors and run to their corner. Wanda walks over and gives you a tight hug, much like Billy had.

“Thank you so much,” she says into your chest.

“Wanda, as much as I love being in your arms, you're holding me back from keeping my promise,” you say as you give her a quick squeeze in return.

“Just a second longer,” she says before she finally releases you. “You are incredible,” she says as she leads you inside. A volunteer stops you from walking further.

“Do you have a ticket?” She asks with a bright smile. You quickly pull your wallet out of your pocket.

“No, I don't actually,” you say but Wanda stops you.

“Nonsense, after what you did for my kids, I've got you covered,” Wanda hands the woman her debit card despite your protests.

“Okay, you two are good to go,” she says then she pulls out a clipboard with a sheet of names and contact information. “I'm also supposed to ask if you would like to sign this petition to get more funding for programs like these. Is that something that you would be interested in?” The woman is a little more flirtatious in her approach and you are thrown off. You size her up as she is clearly eyeing you and you smile at her politely. She bites her lip as she leans a little forward to expose a bit of cleavage.

“Sure, I love to support a good cause,” you say as you take the clipboard and pen to write down your name and phone number. She asks you a couple of more questions before you and Wanda are able to walk away.

“That girl wants a date with you,” Wanda mutters once the two of you are sitting in the stands. “I’m assuming one without any clothes.” You shake your head with a laugh.

“Please, it was just a tactic to get my signature,” you say as you lean in close so she can hear you.

“Oh. So I should judge you because it worked on you?” Wanda asks in a playful tone but there is a layer of truth.

“No, I just thought the cause was worth supporting. What you should be concerned about right now is that Billy is up next,” you say as you point to the floor where Billy is stepping onto the mat. Wanda reaches for your hand and holds it in a tight grip. You don’t pull away, more than happy to give her some sort of comfort. You felt just as nervous watching Billy out there. You record as much of the match as possible. Something for Wanda to send to Vision or people in her family that couldn’t be there.

In the middle of the tournament, your stomach starts to growl and ache painfully. You excuse yourself to buy some snacks at the concession stand. Because neither of her boys are on the mat, Wanda watches you from her seat. On your way back to the stands, the woman stops you for what looks like a quick chat. She cleanches her jaw when the woman touches your arm as she laughs at something you said. She tries to ignore the pang of jealousy she feels as you continue to talk to the woman. You come back to her side when Tommy stands up to enter the mat. When you return, Wanda pulls you close to her and her eyes search for the red haired woman. As soon as she makes eye contact with her, Wanda wraps her arm around your waist and steals some of your popcorn. You laugh because you notice her odd behavior but you don’t question it. Not as much as Wanda is.

When the event is over, Tommy and Billy run to you to show off their awards. You give them high fives and tell them how proud you are. Wanda gives them hugs as she tells them the same. Then they take your hand and race you over to their friends. She puts their prizes in her tote bag as she gets ready to leave. Tommy and Billy have other plans. They have you show each of them how to do the moves you managed to teach them in the past few weeks. Wanda stands back and watches with a wide smile. She snaps a few pictures as she watches but she doesn’t want to view the moment from her phone screen.

“Excuse me,” the volunteer from earlier says quietly to Wanda. “Hi, my name is Nebula and I just wanted to apologize for flirting with your partner earlier. I consider myself to be a girls girl and I didn’t realize that you two were together,” she rambles and Wanda holds her hands up to stop the girl.

“Slow down, we’re just friends,” Wanda corrects her. The words feel wrong coming out of her mouth but she couldn’t stop them. It was like an automatic response every time someone implied that you and her are a couple.

“Oh,” Nebula fails to stop the smile from growing on her face. “Is Y/n seeing someone?” She turns to watch you playing with the kids.

“No. No, they are single,” Wanda knew this girl was being friendlier to you than just getting another signature for a petition. She didn’t want to be the one giving Nebula this information. But no matter what she was feeling, she wasn’t going to sabotage you.

Nebula nods as she continues to watch you. “Do you think they will be creeped out if I use their information from the petition to contact them?”

Wanda watches the girl for a moment and thinks about telling her to back off. That if anyone should be asking you out, it should be her. But was Wanda ready for a relationship beyond physical pleasures? She doesn’t know. And because she doesn’t know, she wasn’t going to gatekeep you. Just in case she isn’t ready for a long time. “I think maybe that’s exactly how you should do that. I’ll get to win a bet if you do,” Wanda says jokingly.

Nebula nods and nudges Wanda with her shoulder, “I’ve got you. Make it a good bet.” She winks, “Thank you. I hope to see you around soon.”

“I’ll give the toast at the wedding,” Wanda jokes again and Nebula walks away laughing.

“Oh, would you look at that, I think she had her eyes on you this whole time,” you say as you walk up to Wanda with both boys wrapped around and hanging onto each of your legs. Wanda shakes her head.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” She steps closer to you and puts her hand on your shoulder. “Let’s get these two some ice cream,” she says loudly and the boys let go of your legs to jump up and down as they cheer. She messes with their hair and tells them to go wait by her car. They start to shove each other on their way out of the building as they race each other.

“Still no word from Vision?” You ask as you scrape the sides of your cup to get every last bit of chocolate ice cream out of the cup. Wanda checks her phone and continues to shake her head to see the lack of responses from Vision. She eats her ice cream and gets some of it on her nose. You wipe it off with your thumb and smile. “Mmm, maybe I should have gotten that flavor instead,” you say as you lick the ice cream off of your thumb. She smiles back at you.

Tommy and Billy are running around the playground while you and Wanda sit on a bench and watch them play. “I don't know if I should take them home with me or drop them off at Vision’s house. I don't know how Vision will react because I'm not even sure why he didn't show up.”

Your smile drops and you look away from her as you shake your head. “I can't believe after the tantrum he threw that he wasn't there for them. He sent me a thank you basket. Which, I don't want to know how he got my address to begin with-”

“He is unbelievable and I am going to be tied to that man for the rest of my life,” she shakes her head again.

“They're pretty great reasons to be tied to him though,” you compliment the boys, making Wanda smile as she watches them chase each other around.

“They are,” she says and then she looks at you. “Will you join us for dinner? I'm thinking that we should go somewhere nice.”

You look at her and when your eyes meet, you want to kiss her. The only thing keeping you from doing that is the fact that her kids could witness it and ask questions that you're not prepared to answer. “Um, yeah, I’d love to. As long as we split the bill.”

Wanda considers insisting on paying for everything but that's not what will catch your interest. It's not a collection of times she has done something for you and you have done things for her. Leaving an imbalance of power between the two of you always. No, you are someone that seeks equal partnership. “Fine by me,” she says.

Your phone goes off and Wanda's heart jumps in her throat from the anticipation. She hoped that the Nebula girl hadn't decided to reach out so soon. “It's a grocery list from Darcy,” you say as another message comes through. “And she and the guys have finally vacated the premise,” you laugh as you respond to the messages. She didn't realize she was holding in her breath until you spoke. Wanda relaxes as she continues eating her ice cream.

“They’ve been at your apartment this entire time?” Wanda asks with a light laugh of her own.

“Apparently, and now I'm all out of food,” you shake your head.

During dinner, Wanda has to excuse herself to take a call from Vision. You distract the boys by being silly to make them laugh, then you ask each of them to tell you about their week since you haven't seen them since last Friday. They go on and on about assignments that they enjoyed or hated. Like how Tommy is bummed about a book report but that Billy is ecstatic about it. He’s already read every book on the list, which he conveniently avoided telling the teacher. In gym class, there is a push up challenge that Billy isn’t thrilled about at all but Tommy is more than ready for. They talk about some playground drama where you find out that your daughter has been married and divorced three times throughout the week. You laugh when you find out that she's currently married to a girl named Kate in their class.

You fondly remember your days in primary school when you were officiating weddings for Jean. She married half the class by the end of the school year. But she never married you back then. She told you that one day she would and then she kissed you on your tear stained cheeks.

When Wanda returns she looks frustrated and you feel for her in her situation. “That was your dad,” she starts as she sits down. “He will be by the house tomorrow with your school bags but you're staying with me tonight.” She can't look at her boys as she stabs her food with her fork. She was still very worked up over the conversation. Billy puts his hand on her arm and she nearly breaks.

“Wanda, do you want to know a trick I use to make water taste really good?” You ask her as you hold your glass up. She looks at you with a fragile expression before she takes your cue. She grabs her cup and you show her the trick you've learned over the years of how to drink something in order to avoid crying. It seems to work and she compliments that the water does taste better. The boys don't believe it so they try it and their brains trick them into believing the technique did anything to change the flavor.

“Thank you,” Wanda mouths when she has calmed down. You shrug in response as the meal continues on.

After dinner, you follow Wanda to her house with Tommy in your car and Billy in hers. He wanted to make sure that you came to their house to play video games and because you wanted to earn their trust, you agreed to drive with Tommy in the car. Wanda thought it was sweet that you cared this much about her boys.

The four of you play three different multiplayer games together. Some rounds were kids versus adults and others you and Wanda would team up with one of the twins. The games went on until nine at night and that's when the kids wanted to watch a movie. You and Wanda sat at opposite ends of the couch with both boys sitting in the middle. When they both went quiet Wanda recruited you to help her take them to their beds.

Once the two were settled in their beds you helped Wanda with cleaning up the mess in the living room by taking care of the cups while she reset the gaming setup. Putting controllers to charge and setting game cases on the game shelf in the cabinet. When all is said and done Wanda walks you to your car.

“Thank you for today,” she says as she stands close to you with her hands in her back pockets. “You'll have to let me know if that girl messages you. I have a lot riding on that bet,” she jokes but her eyes look at both of yours and then land on your mouth. You've heard about this tactic, it's a signal to let you know she wants to kiss you. Suddenly you feel a little nervous. Any kiss the two of you shared could be dismissed with being under the influence or having heightened emotions. But right now, there wouldn't be any excuse. There would just be.

It was a terrifying thought.

“I’m sure you'd be devastated to lose the chance to choose my next haircut,” you retort as you lean in closer to her. Even when you're talking about a potential relationship with another woman, the only person on your mind is Wanda. The two of you gravitate towards each other until your lips meet. The kiss is short but meaningful. She smiles at you when the both of you break away before she bites her lower lip. You smile back at her as she steps away from you. “I'll see you later?” You ask as you open the door to your truck.

Wanda nods, “Yeah, I'll um, I'll see you later.”

“Okay,” you say softly. “Goodnight, Wanda. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams, Y/n” she repeats and waves goodbye as you climb into your truck. She watches you drive away from the front door. She decides then that she doesn't need to be exploring her sexuality anymore. None of the people she sleeps with make her feel nearly as alive as that simple kiss did. As she lies in her bed, she goes through all of her dating apps and deletes every single one of them. She doesn't need them anymore.

Chapter 17

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