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neverdoingmuch · 4 years ago

Note

Wait cql lawyer/law school AU

i got you my pal dont worry!!

law school, im gonna be honest and say i know like nothing about law or law school so pls ignore any inconsistencies or inaccuracies

lwj goes to law school and he is definitely the top student in his class. they’ve been there for like a month and everyone already knows he’s gonna be the best

his one and only competition is this dude called wei wuxian but lwj isn’t particularly worried about him

so far they’re still in the stage of the course where they do the fun things to sucker people into doing the class for the semester so there’s been some practise debates and arguments and stuff in their tutorial classes

wei wuxian has that Charisma and like yeah all of his arguments are perfect but also he has an amazing smile and people are like yes i can trust him

(he’s definitely the sort to be like hm, the easy way to argue this case would be to quote some laws and use precedence to justify this but that’s boring)

lwj is also good at that sort of stuff because his arguments are perfect and everything is so perfectly researched that there should be no ground at all for someone to lodge a counterargument

(wei wuxian manages somehow and it makes lwj so mad)

but that’s whatever lwj thinks,, a lot of people join law thinking it’s gonna be like the tv shows and books and then get completely blindsided when it comes to the rote learning part or like the actual laws

and for all of wwx’s confidence, lwj hasn’t actually seen wwx so much as touch the textbook/s and he always studies in the law library so he knows that wwx has probably never even been there bc he hasn’t seen him even once (why’s he looking? bc he needs to see which books wwx uses to study,, bc there has to be something going on there,, obviously)

then they do their first like proper written assignment and lwj and wwx tie for the highest scores and now lwj has a Rival and he refuses to lose to someone who thinks that putting a ‘-us’ sound at the end of a word makes it latin (did wwx say habeas corpus and then point at a soft drink and go sprite-us can-us,,, maybe,,,,)

anyway! lwj and wwx are kinda rivals for the top spot and it’s one of those situations where one test lwj wins by a point but then the next test wwx gets full marks and they just keep exchanging the top spot in class

and this whole time wwx is like The Worst to have in class. he’s always interrupting to ask questions or just straight up not listening and spends the class doodling pictures of rabbits (they’re cute but wwx is terrible and he’s not allowed to make cute drawings)

so after a few months the most horrible thing happens.... they get put together in a project and lwj is like ugh. internally of course but his face is also saying ugh

the first time wwx and lwj get together to work on the project, lwj is prepared with a proper list of tasks to do all nicely split up between the two of them and a schedule for when they should get certain parts done by.

needless to say, lwj does not expect wwx to be ready, but wwx is definitely on top of things

he rocks up and is like yeah let’s do this, this and this and have them done by this time - basically proposing to do everything that lwj has already written down

and lwj is pleasantly surprised and is like hm maybe i misjudged wwx and decides to like re-evaluate his opinion on him

in doing so he realises that when he’d never seen wwx studying, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. he’s never seen wwx so much as touch a textbook or spend more than a minute on a laptop doing something that wasn’t minesweeper or solitaire

but wwx is also making all of their deadlines and even adds extra information and resources to their document that could be useful elsewhere and sometimes he shows up to their study sessions and he looks absolutely exhausted

eventually lwj manages to get the truth out and wwx is just like yeah it’s easier to get worse grades than a genius but if you both study and you still get lower grades, it’s not easy,, for jc or for me

so wwx usually studies at night when his brother is asleep and lwj is like that’s bad, you can’t keep that up and just when wwx is about to go off at him lwj is like you can come study at my place

and thus begins the wonderful time where everything is alright and lwj falls in love with wwx

they work really well together and wwx is strangely considerate and nice? when he finds out lwj likes rabbits, he goes out and buys bunny post-it notes for lwj and starts to always bring him a doodle of bunnies every time he comes over. he always gets his work done on time, early even, and his work is always so brilliant and every time wwx smiles at him, lwj feels warm inside etc etc

for a long while lwj is like yes (: this is friendship (: bc he’s never had a crush before but then on the day they submit their project wwx is like hey,, the two of us make a great team,, we should always work together,, now and next year and even when we graduate,, i want to help the innocent people who need our help and i think i’d like it a lot if you joined me and lwj has his oh moment

they get a perfect score on the project of course and even after it finishes, wwx keeps coming over to lwj’s place to study or just hang out and lwj is just falling more and more for wwx each day

they’re best friends now and everyone gets used to seeing them work together on projects and then turn around to try and decimate each other when they’re working one on one and lwj thinks that he might just be the happiest he’s ever been

but then one day wwx doesn’t show up to class. it shouldn’t be strange but wwx has never missed class even once and he ends up hearing from lxc who heard from jgy that wwx was caught sabotaging some other student’s work (the other student was jzxun, who had a fondness for playing devil’s advocate and other than wwx once telling him that his argument was shit, wwx never spoke to him or seemed to know who he was but lwj is a bit too angry to remember that)

he manages to find wwx outside of his dorms as he’s moving out and he’s just like why did you do that? and wwx is like oh y’know,, bc he’s not really sure what’s happening himself,, one second he was at the top of his class and the next he was being brought before a board and being told that he was being expelled but he’s not going to tell lwj that bc lwj would definitely try and stand up for him and then they’d both get expelled

but lwj is furious and just spits out well if our dreams meant so little to you then maybe it’s a good thing you failed now,, bc his mother was a lawyer who took all these little jobs that helped people who actually needed the help and lwj was looking forward to doing that with wwx and he doesn’t even seem to care that now they can’t do that

wwx flinches and then smiles at him and just cheerily says, that’s me and leaves. he doesn’t look back and lwj doesn’t chase after him.

lwj doesn’t see him again for years (you can do 13 or 5 or however long you feel like)

lwj is a fully licensed lawyer and he’s working for the family company and he spends half of his time working on cases and uses the rest of his time to do like outreach programs where he goes and visits schools and runs sessions on what it’s like to be a lawyer, how to apply, and to provide assistance to any students who decide to study law at uni

and then at one of these programs he meets this kid, wen yuan, who is ridiculously bright and enthusiastic and has a smile that seems oddly familiar

at the end of the second session he comes up to lwj and is like mr. lan, is your name lan wangji? and lwj just says yes, expecting the kid to be a fan of one of his cases or something but then wen yuan is like oh wow! i thought i recognised you from my dad’s photo!

and lwj isn’t expecting much but he asks what the photo looks like and wen yuan pulls out this photo from his pocket and lwj immediately recognises it,, it’s the only photo he has of him and wwx

your father is wei ying? lwj asks him and wen yuan is like yes, hesitates, and then asks, would you like to see him?

and that’s how lwj finds himself following wen yuan to some dinky little office that has a plaque outside that reads wen and wei

(wen ning is the nicest and sweetest person ever and lots of people underestimate him but then he’s an absolute monster on court. he gets up and completely decimates the opponent and then at the end is like (: it was so nice to meet you!! i am baby!! and all that,, you know our boy)

anyway they walk in and wwx turns to greet wen yuan but then he sees lwj and is like woah! you! and he’s not sure whether to hide or go and hug lwj so he just gives him a fist bump,, like a bro,, and immediately wants to shrivel up and die

anyway they get the reunion stuff out of the way, swelling music, tender wrist holding, lots of staring, lwj silently declaring his wholehearted love for wwx and refusing to believe rumours about him again even though he doesn’t actually know what happened, you know how it goes

from wwx’s side of things,, after he got kicked out he went to some small uni. good in its own right but not known for their law program and ended up specialising in family law

the first case he ever won was for the wens to have the right to keep custody of a-yuan and the first case wen ning ever won was to let wwx adopt a-yuan bc i’m soft like that

so wwx has just been kinda vibing,, being a single dad, living with the wens and helping to make that difference he always promised he would

now this isn’t gonna be some au where lwj goes oh my! i must give up my high salary job and work with wwx! bc lwj has been doing good stuff at his current job and for all of his family’s stuffiness, they run a fair and just company

but! he does end up helping wwx when wwx gets a letter with a bunch of information about the jins and how they’re actually super corrupt and evil (big surprise,,) and how wwx was maybe definitely framed bc he was doing some casual work on the side and stumbled across some bad shit on the jins back in uni

lwj ends up being the one to take the case officially but wwx is definitely the guy leading it and so lwj ends up spending most of his time at the wen-wei office

lwj definitely bonds with wen yuan, who also wants to go into law, and writes him recommendation letters and helps him edit his applications and stuff

(and one day wen yuan is like leaving you was the hardest thing dad ever did and i dont think you appreciated how much he cared about you. he really did think that he annoyed you ‘til the end and lwj is like no! he didn’t! and wen yuan is like yeah i know but you gotta tell him and lwj really does mean to but the time is never right or something like that but also wen yuan is all but calling lwj dad at this point)

anyway they end up going to court, side by side, working as a team just as they promised to do and just as they finish their final day on the case, ended with the jury ruling jgy guilty and wwx’s reputation all but saved, wwx turns around and flings himself at lwj

is he crying? is he laughing? a bit of both tbh but wwx ends up confessing right then and there, still on record and everything (is that how that works??? idk! let’s say it does)

and what can lwj do but make out with him?

did a news crew come in to film the results of this massive court case just to end up with five minutes of wangxian kissing?? maybe! but when it played on tv it meant wwx and lwj didnt have to actually tell anyone they got together

(and does lwj eventually pop the question using wwx’s bad latinification? yes and wwx is too busy laughing to accept at first but he does and they end up being the worst possible tutors for wen yuan as he goes through law school bc they keep being all gross and lovey-dovey and acting like law school is the most romantic place in the world)

#mdzs #Anonymous #modao zushi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #all of my understanding of law comes from the pelican brief which i read over 10 years ago and one seminar on law courses at uni #so sorry if it's bad #):#lan sizhui #also i stand by wen yuan #let him keep his last name!#my aus #asks

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mouse-fantoms · 4 years ago

Text

Helpful

...THIS IS COMPLETELY BC I SAW THIS

Reggie helping Ray, Ray becoming suspicious of his house, follows Julie out to the garage after an incident of the helpfulness in the house

Either Ray was a forgetful person or something else was going on.

It had started when the items he seemed to misplace, seemed to suddenly appear in the most obvious of places. Even though he was 100% sure that he had already checked there.

Such as the time when he had padded his pockets down before leaving for work and realized his wallet was missing. He would normally recruit one of his kids for help but the two were currently at school. Maybe it had fallen between the couch cushions? Nope. Maybe the computer desk? He did a quick scan and nope, not there either. Maybe the dining table? He did place his laptop there to do work sometimes, it made sense it might- not there either. Where on Earth was it? Perhaps he didn’t check the cough throughly enough. He went back to the living room and as soon as he entered his eyes landed to the corner of the computer desk. Right there, placed on the corner, in plain view, was his leather wallet.

He thought it was a little odd considering he had just checked there. He was more so concerned about getting to his job on time and took the wallet off the table and in his back pocket and out the door he went to his job.

If the wallet incident was the only occasion, he probably would have let it slid. However, that was not the only incident. It seemed to only happened when he verbally said what he was missing... odd. A few misplaced things being found here and there could fully well be him being forgetful. Or maybe something else was going on in his house.

~~~

“Julie,” Ray requested after his daughter got up from the table to put her plate in the sink that was full of dirty dishes, “your turn.”

“I know, I know.” She said in response to her dad reminding her to do a chore. “Just let me-”

“Ah uh.” He blocked the archway that lead to the dining room. “When you go out there you lose track of time.”

He didn’t mind that she was spending so much time in the garage, it was the constant reminder of his wife, her mother, after all. The only time he did mind was when it got in the way of Julie’s chores.

“Sorry, I get caught up with band things. I just need to grab something I left in there earlier. I’ll come right back in and do the dishes. Promise.”

He dropped his hands from the doorframe and let her pass since he knew she would keep her word. He didn’t know what kept her in there for hours, she would say band things but how much could get done in there by herself? Maybe he could ask for more information about her band at a later time. Preferably about the sleeveless one.

A few minutes later, after he had sat at the computer desk to check his work emails, he heard the back door. Julie came around the kitchen corner and stopped by the bottom of the staircase to talk to him.

“I told you I would be right back.” She let out, her backpack strung on her shoulder, the item she had gone to retrieve. “You didn’t have to do them.”

He looked quizzical. “What?”

“The dishes. I said I would be-”

She paused her sentence seeing him get up from the desk and walk passed her. They both looked in and saw the now empty sink that was once piled with dirty dishes.

“How did...? I never...?”

“Uh...” Julie said in response to Ray’s clear confusion. “Maybe Carlos did them...” she trailed off, he could tell she didn’t fully believe herself either.

“You know your brother.”

“Well... at least they’re done now.” She set her bag down on the floor.

“Where are you-”

“Forgot something else!” She called as she rounded the corner and went out the back door again, this time looking like she was annoyed.

~~~

“Did- did you...?” Ray asked to his son in response to opening the fridge to get breakfast ready for his kids on the Saturday morning. He knew what he alluded to wasn’t the answer, he knew his son, but was looking for one.

Carlos was sat at the stool of the kitchen counter, seeing his dad open the fridge in plain view. “Maybe Tia brought it?”

Ray held a clear plastic wrapped paper plate of scrabbled eggs in his hand.

He shook his head. “She didn’t bring this.”

“Maybe it’s a ghost.”

“What?”

“The chef ghost.”

“I thought we did his ‘unfinished business’.”

“Maybe it wasn’t.” He shrugged.

Julie came down the stairs into the kitchen. “Eggs?”

“Dad found them in the fridge.” Her brother informed.

“Tia didn’t bring them.” Ray added.

He could have sworn he saw his daughter looking next to him, passed the kitchen island, by the stove. Then her face turned to an annoyed one. Her eyes went back to her dad.

“Maybe you-“

“AHHHHH!” A unison shriek came from the family of three hearing the noise the toaster made.

He dropped the paper plate on the island and went over to the toaster. From the toaster popped up evenly toasted bread.

“I’m telling you it’s probably the ghost.” Ray didn’t catch the elbow hit that Julie did to her brother. “Chef ghost!” He corrected.

“That’s not-” he began to shake his head even though the toast he picked up was not a good point to prove his arugment.

“I didn’t put the toast in, you didn’t put the toast in, Julie didn’t.”

Ray saw from the corner of his eye Julie get a frustrated look and walk away. He looked over his shoulder, saw her go around the corner and heard the back door. He looked to Carlos for some answer.

“Maybe the haunting is too much for her.” He found an excuse.

He dropped the toast back into the device it came from.

“Don’t eat that.” He didn’t need to even look at his son to know he had already grabbed the food he dropped back in. “We don’t know where it’s been.” He advised before going out the back door himself to follow his daughter.

~~~

“Reggie...”

The one in question fell off the couch once Julie closed the door.

“I was being helpful!” He put his palms up in defense.

Luke looked down at his friend on his right who was on the floor and back to Julie, who was clearly irrated based on her crossed arms. He was on the couch with his leg rested on the coffee table in front of him, journal open in his lap, pen in hand.

“What’d he do this time?” Alex asked sat in the chair by the couch, fiddling with his drum sticks.

“I don’t mind you being helpful,” she dropped her arms, stepping closer to the couch, “but when my dad is around-”

“Helpful?” Luke asked wanting more information. “Wait did you do the dishes again?” Recalling the night Julie came back into the garage after getting her backpack. She had given Reggie a warning about being helpful when other people were around.

“No, he made us eggs.”

Alex gasped looking down Reggie on the floor. “You made them your eggs? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“We wouldn’t be able to eat them anyways.” He put his arms on the edge of the couch and pushed himself back up next to Luke. “Did you get the toast?”

“You could have warned me. Instead of all of us screaming when it popped up.”

“You glared at me when you found out about the eggs. I poofed out because I panicked.”

“Understandable.” Luke sided with Reggie. “Julie’s glares are-” his eyes looked up to the girl who had now re-crossed her arms, looking to hear his answer. “...Understandable.” He repeated not wanting to get in trouble looking back down to the open page in his lap.

“If any of you are going to be ‘helpful’,” she put in air quotes, “be careful when my dad’s around.”

“Maybe you could tell him about us.” Alex suggested Luke’s old one. ��Your brother knows, it’s gone pretty well so far.”

“Except for his constant questions.” Luke input.

“He gets so excited though whenever we pick something up.” Reggie countered.

Julie added. “Also when he asks if any of you are in the room.”

“Flynn knows.” Alex added onto his suggestion. “It’s gone well too.”

“I had to tell Flynn though,” she was contemplating the idea, “Carlos found out on his own. What am I supposed to tell him? ‘Hey Dad, the boys in my band are ghosts that live in our garage. The one who’s been helping around the house, that’s Reggie. I didn’t tell you do so long because you would have me visiting Dr. Turner again.’?”

“...well if you want to put it brief.” Luke nodded.

“Just all of you be careful if you’re in the house when my dad’s around.” She repeated to them and headed to the door. She froze once she opened it.

“We can talk about it later,” Ray addressed what he overheard, “but thank you Reggie.” He peaked his head into the studio, looking around to hopefully meet the eyes of the helpful ghost so he knew how appreciative he was. “Is he at the couch?”

“Umm...” he knew his daughter was obviously at a lose of words as a result of him now knowing this information. “...yeah...” she finally said, “How’d... How’d you know?”

“Well, there’s a pen and book floating, also a drumsticks above the chair.”

She looked back at the couch. To her it was the familiar sight of Luke with his journal and pen in hand and Alex with his sticks. To anyone else, they would appear to be objects floating. She turned back to her dad.

“Yeah he’s at the couch. Luke had the journal and pen, Reggie’s next to him and Alex has the sticks.”

He nodded. “Why don’t you come back inside and have some breakfast?”

“You’re taking this rather well.”

He shrugged. “They brought music back to my little girl. How else am I supposed to respond?”

A smile appeared on her face. “Yeah they’re pretty great.” She followed her dad back to the house once closing the garage door behind her. She knew questions would follow, some she had answers to and other’s she didn’t, but it was nice not having to keep them a secret from him anymore.

It was nice to know he wasn’t being forgetful and that something else was truly going on. Out of all the things that could have been going on, having his daughter be in a ghost band, one where one of them is apperently an extra hand around the house, that wasn’t the worst option.

A smile was on her face whenever she was with her band. A smile he hadn’t seen in over a year. The way she was eager to go to the garage everyday. The passion all of them had showed through in their performances. He might not have known all the details yet but what he did know was that her band made her happy and that was enough for him.

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clumsyclifford · 4 years ago

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hi i have some continued thoughts about the gif set i made earlier but i’m just thinking about like baby boys writing nothing personal and jack just like feeling really down on himself one day bc he doesn’t know what he’s contributing and alex tells him he named this song for him bc he is so important i don’t know there are so many THOUGHTS TO BE HAD why are they like this

hi paige i don’t know if this was supposed to be a prompt but i took it as one because i’m me hope that’s okay <3 (also here is the gifset in question, warning for max damage)

read it here on ao3

“Hey, where’d Jack go?”

Flyzik looks up from his laptop and glances around the control room. “I dunno,” he says. “I thought he was here.”

“I leave for two minutes,” Alex says, sighing exasperatedly. “We need to put a bell on that kid.”

“Believe me, if I could, I would,” says Flyzik, returning to the all-important task of probably talking shit on Twitter or whatever he does when he’s taking up studio space.

Squire, whose playing had been arrested upon Alex’s re-entry, starts the guitar line from the top. The unfinished track fills the small room. Alex considers handcuffing him just so he’ll stop playing that one fucking guitar part.

At this rate, he’ll be sick of the song before it’s even released.

“I’m going to find Jack,” he announces, not that anyone cares. In a halfway attempt at defiance, or being annoying, or whatever, he snatches Flyzik’s coffee mug off the table.

“Hey,” Flyzik says half-heartedly without looking up. “Give that back.”

“You’re fired,” Alex informs him.

“Joke’s on you, I quit this morning,” says Flyzik.

Alex rolls his eyes and leaves the control room.

There’s really only one place Jack is likely to be (okay, two places, but Alex has just come from the bathroom and he’d been the only one in there). Alex heads for the lounge. The TV is on, playing a commercial for mattresses. Occupying the entire length of the couch:

“Jack,” Alex says. “Where’d you go, man, I thought we were working on the song.”

Jack makes no indication that he's heard Alex at all.

“Dude,” Alex says, coming into the room and facing Jack. The way Jack is slumped into the cushions, it looks like he’s been lying here all day, not for two minutes. “Were you just waiting for me to go to the bathroom so you could bail?”

Jack shoots him a glare, but again says nothing. Alex frowns.

“Are you good?” he asks, sinking to the floor with his legs crossed. He sets Flyzik’s coffee on the table at his side. “Is something wrong?”

Jack groans. “Can you leave me alone?”

“Hey,” Alex says, hurt. “What —” He breaks off. Obviously Jack doesn’t want company — or at least not Alex’s company, which stings — and if Alex doesn’t want to be a dick, he should leave.

Except Jack is already kind of being a dick. So.

“Dude,” Alex says again. Jack keeps his eyes on the TV over Alex’s head. “Can you at least look at me?”

“I’m just taking a break, what’s the big deal?” Jack mutters.

“The big deal is you were fine five minutes ago when we were tracking the guitar,” Alex says irritably. “I leave for two seconds and when I come back you’re gone? ‘Taking a break’?”

“Yes, Alex, I came to jerk off in peace,” Jack snaps. “So can you piss off?”

Alex huffs. “Stop being an asshole when I’m just trying to understand what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong, dude!” Jack finally looks at him, though it’s clear he would rather not be. “You don’t need me to finish the song, okay? You have Squire to do the guitar, and if he can’t do it then you will, so I’m just gonna sit this one out, alright?”

Alex stares at him. “The fuck do you mean, we don’t need you to finish the song? You need to learn it. And Squire’s just doing the demo track anyway. Meaning technically he doesn’t need me for it, either.”

“Alex, you wrote the fucking song.” Jack crosses his arms. “It wouldn’t exist without you. Unlike me.”

“You…would exist without me?”

Jack glares at him, again. “No, the song would still exist without me. And it would have a guitar part, without me. I know my role in the band, Alex, I’m not getting any ideas, okay? I’m the one who makes inappropriate jokes on Twitter and collects bras during shows. I don’t contribute in the studio.”

The gears in Alex’s brain grind loudly to a halt. “You don’t — what? What?”

Jack draws his knees up to his chest and looks back up at the TV. “Am I wrong?”

“Uh, yes?!” Alex says emphatically. “Extremely wrong, what the fuck? Since when is this a thing? You really feel this way?”

“Oh my God, it’s not a big deal,” Jack grumbles.

“It’s a big deal to me,” Alex retorts. “You think you don’t contribute when we’re in the studio? You’re, like, the reason most of these songs get made. If you weren’t here we’d still be on our first record.”

“You don’t need to therapy me,” Jack says dully. “I’m fine with it.”

Which is obviously not true. Jack’s shuttered expression and bitchy attitude don’t exactly communicate ‘fine.’

“I’m not trying to ‘therapy’ you,” Alex says, making air quotes. “Whatever the fuck that means. I’m trying to tell you something you should already know.”

Jack sighs wearily. Somehow he seems to sink deeper into the couch, like whatever’s weighing him down is only getting heavier. “Alex, it’s fine.”

“Stop saying it’s fine,” Alex says sharply. “It’s not fine. Did someone say something when I left? Is that why the mood whiplash?” There’s no way. Squire would never, and Flyzik hadn’t even been on the same planet. Not that Flyzik ever would, either, but then again, they make a lot of fucking jokes around here. Sometimes the kind of joke that hits a little too close to home. Call it an occupational hazard of living and working with a bunch of guys in their early twenties; none of them really know when to stop.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Jack’s gaze flits between Alex and the TV, which has really been playing commercials for far too long. He seems to realize he’s not going to escape this conversation, and with an almighty sigh grabs the remote and hits mute.

“No one said anything, okay?” There’s a pause. Alex waits patiently while Jack gathers his thoughts. “It was just that, like, you were there, and we were joking around, and then you left, and like…Squire kept playing the part, Flyzik was still on fucking MySpace or whatever, and, like, I don’t know. It just felt like if I left it wouldn’t matter, so I did.” He barks a humorless laugh. “And I was right. It didn’t matter.”

“It mattered to me,” Alex says. “I came back and you had abandoned me with Squire and Flyzik. You think I want to be stuck with them?”

One corner of Jack’s mouth pulls up, barely, then drops down again. “I’m fine,” he says a third time. “You can go back and finish tracking the lead. Just call me when you need me for something.”

Alex considers this. “You know, I could use a break, while I’m here.” He takes a sip of Flyzik’s coffee, which is absolutely disgusting and also room temperature at this point. Jack frowns at him.

“You’re in the middle of demo-ing a song,” he says flatly. “‘Best Friend Knows,’ right?”

“Well, as you so eloquently pointed out, Squire can track the guitar,” Alex says. “And in fact is tracking the guitar. And has been for half an hour. He doesn’t need me for it, either.”

“But that’s not the fucking same and you know it. You wrote the song.”

“Yeah, so what? It’s not that great of a song. Anyone could have written it. I bet Andrew has fifty better songs in his back pocket.”

“But Andrew isn’t in the band,” Jack says. “The whole point is they’re your lyrics that you write for your band.”

“And you play the guitar,” Alex counters, raising his eyebrows at Jack. “Yeah, there are a billion songwriters and guitarists in the world. Anyone can play guitar, but there’s only one All Time Low guitarist, and it’s you. You’re our guy, Jack. You brought the band together, you keep it together, and you keep us moving forward. So what if you’re not writing lyrics? There’s way more to being in a band than writing the fucking lyrics. I promise you, man, without you we’d still be playing the fucking Dulaney Talent Show. We’d be fucking nowhere. We definitely wouldn’t be in L.A. recording our second full-length studio album.”

Silence falls as Alex’s words hang in the air. They’re both quiet for a moment. The Red Bull fridge buzzes in the background, and even more faintly comes the sound of Squire relentlessly playing the same lead part for what has to be the millionth time.

“If you say so,” Jack finally says, although he doesn’t really seem to believe it.

“I do,” Alex says firmly. Jack is the heart of the band more than anyone else, the beating pulse that keeps them alive no matter what shit gets thrown their way. When they were traveling from venue to venue in a shitty van, Jack was the one who kept spirits high. In their earliest days, Jack had held them together like glue, as if he could tell that something really special would happen as long as he didn’t let them go.

And he’d been right. There’s no All Time Low without Jack. That’s always been obvious to Alex.

“I think it’s an awesome song,” Jack quietly adds, as an afterthought. “No one else could’ve written it, so take that shit back.”

“Mediocre at best,” Alex says. “But there’s still time to make it better.”

“I like it,” Jack insists. “It’s cool. You’re a good songwriter.”

Alex waves a hand. “All the good lines are from Squire.”

“Well, I don’t know any of the words,” Jack says, a hint of his usual dry humor making a comeback. “But I bet that’s not true. All the best lines always come from you.”

“They’re meh. There’s not even a good line for a title. ‘What Your Best Friend Knows’ is just the most repeated line, but like, I don’t know. It’s boring.”

“So just call it something else,” Jack says. “The title doesn’t have to come from the song. You might have heard of a little album called From Under The Cork Tree? It’s by this super underground band, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them.”

Alex laughs a little. “Yeah, okay. I guess.”

Another pause fills the room. Finally Jack says, “If you want to hang out, you can, but stop trying to therapy me.”

“I’m not trying to therapy you! It’s called being your friend, you dumbass.”

“Well, cut it out,” Jack deadpans. There’s the Jack Alex knows.

Alex smiles at him, even though he knows it makes him look very sincere, more sincere than Jack probably wants from him. “You made your band bed,” he says. “Now you have to lie in it.” He half-stands and clambers onto the couch, and Jack stretches his legs over Alex’s lap. “What are we watching?”

“I don’t know,” Jack says, reaching for the remote. “It’s been commercials since I got here.”

“Jesus Christ, don’t these people have anything better to do than advertise all day every day?” Jack unmutes the TV. An episode of a show neither of them know is playing. Alex rolls his eyes. “Which channel is playing Lost reruns, do you think?”

“Only one way to find out,” Jack says, raising the remote like a wand. “Hope you brought a board ‘cause it’s time for some channel surfing.”

“Oh my God, you’re so lame.”

Jack snickers. “Maybe there’ll be a line you can use for the song title. Like a ‘Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner’-type thing.”

“In Lost?” Alex says skeptically.

“Maybe, you don’t know.”

Alex highly doubts Lost will have any cool one-liners that could double as song titles, but it’s not a bad idea, pulling an iconic movie quote the way Fall Out Boy did on Cork Tree. The gimmick isn’t really the All Time Low style, but there’s a first time for everything.

Besides, Alex thinks, glancing over at Jack, whose attention is trained on the TV, I think I know the perfect movie.

—

“What?”

They’re back in the studio the following day. After yesterday’s minor emotional hurdle, Jack seems to be doing much better. Right now his eyes are wide in surprise as he stares at Alex.

“‘Keep The Change’ —”

“I know the quote,” Jack interrupts, a smile stretching over his face. “That’s the name? Of the song?”

Alex grins. “Has a cool ring to it, don’t you think?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? This is the best day of my life,” Jack enthuses, beaming.

Alex shrugs. “Well, someone gave me the great idea to use a movie quote for a title. This felt fair.”

“Alex, I literally love you so much, you don’t even know,” Jack says. “Just for this, I’m giving you my firstborn.”

“If you ever have children, God save us all,” Flyzik says dryly from the far side of the room. He’s not wrong, but Jack doesn’t even act offended, still caught up in the excitement of the song title.

“Hey,” Alex says in a low voice, kicking lightly at Jack’s leg. “For the record, I’d never in a million years have thought to use a movie quote title.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Jack says.

Alex gives him a meaningful look. “That’s my point, man. Next time you think you’re not contributing, just remember this, alright?”

The shadow of realization passes over Jack’s face, and he shakes his head incredulously. “You are such a piece of shit,” he says, although he doesn’t seem upset. “This was just to make a point?”

“I didn’t do it to make a point,” Alex says. “I did it because it was a good idea. But it does make a point, because you thought you weren’t contributing in the studio, and this is proof that you are.”

Jack sighs. “Point taken.” A little bit of humility colors his expression. “Thanks.”

Alex gives him a cheeky smile. “You are welcome,” he says airily, and throws an arm over Jack’s shoulders. “And now I think we both have some guitar parts to learn, am I right?”

“Yup,” says Squire, as if he’d just been waiting for his cue. “Jack, you wanna track this?”

Jack glances over at Alex, who grins. “Yeah,” he says, stepping forward and taking the guitar out of Squire’s hands. “I’d love to.”

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #yeah this is a little emo and? what about it?#i feel like this is pretty conceptually emo there wasn't much i could do #mukeaf #ask #answered #sam said post this one so i'm posting this one

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cheylouwho · 4 years ago

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Mind giving a brief summary of all of them, I'm just curious. (Wasn't here [for the fandom] until late 2017, but did catch some history for about half of these)

Ok so fandom/stream memes in that post plus a couple of extras i just remembered this morning:

Butters speedy run: I think it was s18 but there was two or three times during the season that butters would run TOP SPEED and slam cartman into the bathroom to yell at him and it was so goddamn funny a bunch of people made memes of it

Craigs knife: s20 craig brought a fucking knife in the scene when they destroy cartmans electronics, it was so funny bc everyone else had like bats and stuff but no he had a Knife ready to Kill. Lots of “et tu brute” memes in stream chat when he stabs cartman’s laptop

"Clyde is dead": pre s18, after SOT- Clyde falls off the castle tower at the end of sot and when he didnt show up in s18′s first couple of episodes everyone joked he was dead. A couple other notable “___ is dead” memes were s19 butters when he threw himself out the window and s17 world war zimmerman (i wasnt there for that but i joined fandom shortly after so i saw the residual memes) with token after cartman shot him

(NSFW) the word "tentadick" in relation to any character specifically Craig: 2014 fandom had a thriving nsfw community and we may have taken a page from the homestuck fandom’s book. (many artists were also hs fans so that made sense)

[Urinating]: Stream meme from s21 (or 22? i forget), closed captioning said [urinating] during the scene when sharon was peeing in the bathroom so we would just repeat it every week much to stream host’s dismay. Honorable mention is Spice22 which was the code that this sextoy shop ad would use as the promo code that we saw like every fucking stream night

Craigs on tumblr: s18 craig’s mom’s bush craig can be seen through the window with the drone on a computer looking at a blue website. Everyone then joked craig was on tumblr. I might have taken the joke too far and made an IC craig blog that some people thought was canon or run by the sp team oop

Cregg: craig egg

Yandere clyde: 2014 trend, lots of people were into yandere and its victim was clyde. like 3 separate askblogs with the premise it was wild but also very good

Long leg craig: my abomination after pointing out craig had long legs and tweek had long arms on his model. Memes ensued and it got out of hand. I have a whole tag dedicated to it

Quoting the I hate randy song, specifically the "stupid moustache man" line: someone wrote this beautiful song and everyone would rb it/quote it when randy did something fucking stupid

Set em up knock em down: This post, sorry i misquoted it in my original post

Pc Carnival Conspiracy: oh my fucking god this was a mess and it needs to go here. s19, naughty ninjas episode original synopsis had a thing about there being a “PC Carnival” in town that everyone needed to stop the boys from ruining. Original synopsis is probably still on the official forums. Anyway, 4chan (yes why we listened to 4chan i dont know) had someone talk about how the removal of it was this big conspiracy and how it was actually going to come into play later and it was fucking WILD bc s19 had the most batshit theorizing sp fandom has ever had but it was super fun

Mpreg stan anon: Not to be confused with ric who currently goes around and asks for adult stan and wendy and their son (ric is also kinda a shitty person so best to ignore and block him), mpreg stan anon was an HONOR to receive. Like in a haha funny sort of way if you got asked to draw stan marsh 9 months pregnant you knew you had MADE IT in the fandom, and most people drew it ironically but it was still a funny little art meme and mpreg anon if youre still out there i love you

#i dunno if i missed anything but thats what i can think of off the top of my head #i need to start keeping track lol #south park #Anonymous

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aloera · 3 years ago

Note

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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mss4msu · 5 years ago

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“Do I Wanna Know?” (Chapter 6)

Summary: On a visit to a local nightclub, the lounge singer catches your eye. Soon becoming a regular at the club, the way you look on the dancefloor gets his attention. You begin to hear stories about the notorious crime lord who owns and operates the small nightclub. When your friends worry that you’ve gotten mixed up with a mobster, you wonder if it’s better to be left in the dark and find yourself asking, “Do I wanna know?” if you’re getting involved with one of the most revered mobsters in the city.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Reader

Words: 4266

Warnings: Language, Slight Violence

A/N: This is a mega turning point for the story and I’m super excited for y’all to find out what comes next! This chapter is vvv long and has another song in it because that’s fun for everybody. Peep that cute lil Rocky Horror quote drop bc it’s almost spooky time.

Read the Full Story Here

The song in this chapter can be listened to here

Your new promotion made work much more exhilarating, due in large part to seeing James Barnes far more often than you ever would have anticipated. He seemed to be in the office every day, even though you knew many of the conversations he stopped in to have with you could have been solved over an email or at least on a quick phone call. Of course you didn’t mind, as he was gorgeous to look at and a pleasure to converse with. The only irritating thing about James’s frequent visits was that they meant that Tony visited you far more often too. You didn’t know if it was because Tony didn’t believe you were competent or if James was really just that high profile of a client, but even without you letting him know, Tony would show up at your office either while James was still there or right after he had left. While it was frustrating, Tony crashing your meetings wasn’t all bad. Every time it happened, James would wrap the conversation up quickly and leave. Within 15 minutes of James being gone you would get a call that you had a delivery at the main desk. Every single time it was an order of a dozen white roses with a card that said, “Thanks for all your hard work, boss.” While you knew it was probably inappropriate for James to be sending you flowers at work, you tried to remind yourself that he was just a client and reasoned that he was just praising your efforts on his account.

In an attempt to keep things professional, you decided you should stop visiting James at the club. Every meeting that wrapped up before Tony could interrupt it ended in James asking if he would see you that Friday and you telling him, “I’d like to, but I can’t.” You were afraid that, if you did see James outside of the office, things would go from professional to unprofessional very quickly.

While you tried your best to keep James as just a client, one day Tony pushed you too far. You had been having a very productive meeting with James, where you were making good progress in liquidizing his assets to reinvest them in other markets to increase his profits, when Tony came into your office without knocking and took a seat next to James. Tony made a show of sitting down next to James on the couch, putting his feet up on the small coffee table, and staring at the projection of your laptop’s screen on the wall.

“Ahem, anyway,” you cleared your throat before continuing, “If we divert some of the funds into this other account, I think that would really benefit you.”

“Why is a man who owns a nightclub investing in a car company?” Tony asked with disdain as he made a big deal of squinting at the projection.

“Why did a man who owns a nightclub invest in a tech company?” James replied with a smirk.

“I believe it is best to diversify his portfolio in case the market performs poorly in areas he has already invested in,” you answered. After weeks of Tony interrupting you, you had finally grown a bit of a backbone.

“You mean if my company fails?” Tony huffed.

“Well, (Y/N), I trust you to do what’s best for me,” James looked at his watch, “Ah, I’m afraid I have meetings elsewhere. I have to be sure the nightclub,” while his face didn’t show it, you could hear the sneer in his voice, “is fully functional.”

“Of course,” you stood up from behind your desk to shake James’s hand, “I’ll draw up the numbers and get them sent to you. I really think this could be a favorable investment.”

“I look forward to it,” James shook your hand with both of his, “Tony,” he said with a quick nod to your boss before leaving.

As soon as James had left the room Tony stood up and came at you, yelling, “(Y/N), what the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Excuse me?” you cowered into your seat.

While Tony had shared plenty of opinions about how you were handling James Barnes’ assets, he generally saved them for when James was also present. This was the first time he had approached you about them one-on-one and your heart began to pound.

“James Barnes is a high profile client and we can NOT afford to lose him over a silly investment in an area that he does not know anything about because a silly should-be assistant got too smart for her own good.”

You took a deep breath and fought back the tears that stung your eyes, “Mr. Stark, when I make him the investment profile, I include a full description of what the company makes and how it distributes its products as well as information about their mission and the diversity of their staff. Plus I do research into how the market has been trending before even bringing anything up to him in the first place.”

“And you actually think that’s enough?” Tony asked with a sudden calmness in his voice that did not match the fire raging in his eyes.

“Yes?” you couldn’t help that it came out as a question.

“Hmmpfh,” Tony sneered, “I guess we will find out if it is,” and with that he got up and left your office.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding as soon as Tony was gone. You slumped into your desk chair and your head began to pound. You just sat there, for five minutes with your eyes closed when the sudden ring of your phone startled you.

“Hi (Y/N), there’s a delivery for you at the desk,” the person on the other end of the line said to you.

“Thanks, be there in a moment.”

You groaned as you pushed yourself away from your desk and forced yourself to stand up. You had to steady yourself on the desk as your head pounded harder from the slight change in elevation. You slowly walked to the front desk, the knowledge that you had flowers waiting for you not even making you feel better. You got to the front desk and were slightly taken aback by the lack of roses waiting for you.

“This just came for you,” the receptionist said as they pulled a box from the table that had a singular white rose tied to it.

“Thanks,” you said with slight confusion in your voice as you took the box and walked back to your office.

You sat down at your desk and carefully removed the rose from the top of the box and set it gently down next to you. You took the lid off the box and found a card that read: “Get on your dancing shoes. See you tonight, boss.” You unfolded the tissue paper in the box and inhaled sharply. Inside lay a beautiful pair of classic black Louboutin pumps with the iconic red soles. You wiped your hands off on your pants before you dared to take them out of the box to look closely at them. They were the most beautiful shoes you had ever seen and you only pulled your eyes away from them when your cell phone began to vibrate violently on your desk. You carefully set the shoes back in the box and picked up your phone. You had multiple notifications from Instagram:

WhiteWolfandtheHowlers messaged you:

“Hey, doll.

I’ve got a table reserved for you tonight.

After that beatdown Tony gave you, I figured you could use a night filled with a bit of debauchery.

Don’t forget to wear the new shoes.”

You cocked your head to the side as you began to question how James knew Tony gave you a beatdown today, as he should have been long gone by the time Tony really went in on you. You took a deep breath, your fingers dancing above the keyboard as you tried to decide what to say back.

You finally typed and sent back:

“You know you have my work number, you could have just called. I don’t think I should come out tonight.”

The screen showed that your message was immediately read and a text bubble soon appeared, quickly replaced by the message:

“If I called you on the office phone, who knows who may have been listening in. Plus I couldn’t have called you doll while you’re at work, could I boss? Show starts at 9 in case you’ve forgotten.”

“You mean listened in like you somehow did to know Tony went off on me today?” you typed before erasing it and instead sending:

“I suppose this is true. Yes, I know what time the show starts, I just don’t know if I should come.”

“Why is that?”

You gulped, your head beginning to pound again as you sent:

“You’re my client, Mr. Barnes. I don’t want to disrupt that partnership by socializing outside of business hours.”

“Afraid you’ll fall for me, doll?”

Your heart fluttered and you took a second to reply:

“I just don’t want to get into trouble with my superiors.”

“Based on how earlier went, I’d say you already are. See you at 9, doll.”

You let his message sink in. He wasn’t wrong, you had already pissed Tony off enough and didn’t you owe it to yourself to actually enjoy your weekends instead of putting in extra work to try to prove yourself? Especially since trying to prove yourself didn’t seem to be working anyway.

Ultimately you decided to send:

“See you at 9.”

He liked the message immediately but did not respond.

You looked at the clock on your wall and your heart rate escalated as you realized it was already 6:30pm. You needed to eat, get home, change, and get to the club all in just over 2 hours and Friday traffic was always awful. You wanted to invite your friends to join you, but you knew at this short of notice there was no way they would be able to come. You quickly packed up your things, gently placing the shoe box in your bag for safekeeping, and called your car to pick you up. Your driver was waiting for you when you got downstairs.

“Hi, Peter, how’s it going today?” you asked as you climbed into the backseat.

“Hi, Ms. (Y/L/N). I’m doing alright,” he replied nervously.

“Peter, Tony’s not coming with, you can relax.”

You had learned very quickly that Tony was strict with the drivers and did not allow them to share any information about their personal lives or really speak at all during drives. Each drive with Peter Parker began with the Stark formalities until you were far enough away that there was no chance Tony would be able to join in on the ride. Once you were safe, Peter would finally let his guard down.

After getting 10 minutes away from the office, Peter took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, (Y/N), I’m doing alright. I’ve been taking night classes recently and I think they’re going really well.”

“What are they in?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of photography and journalism. I’d really like to contribute to the local newspaper, but so far they keep turning me down.”

You continued chatting for the remainder of your ride, which took far longer than you would have liked due to the traffic. By the time Peter pulled the car up to your apartment, it was already 8:00pm.

“Shit, that took forever. Peter, I need a ride to Mr. Barnes’ club tonight and need to be there before 9:00pm would it be terrible to have you just wait here for a bit so I can run up and change and then you can just zoom me over there quickly? Maybe we can go through a drive through for some food on the way?”

“Sure thing, (Y/N).”

“Alright, thank you Peter! Be right back,” you hopped out of the car and quickly got to your apartment and stripped off your clothes, pawing through your closet before finding one a suitable black dress for the night. You ran into the bathroom and touched up your makeup, applying some glittery eyeshadow and a fresh layer of mascara. You then went to the door and gingerly took the shoe box from your bag. You held your breath as you opened the box, still in disbelief that James had spent that much money on you. You slipped the shoes on and let out a long sigh at how perfectly they fit and surprisingly comfortable they were. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before grabbing your wallet and keys, shoving them in your purse, and running out the door.

“Thanks for waiting, Peter,” you said as you got back into the car, your heart beating rapidly as you saw that it was already 8:15pm.

Peter quickly hung up a phone call and looked anxiously at you in the rearview mirror, “Of course, Ms. (Y/L/N).”

You were too preoccupied with being late to even notice Peter’s change in tone. He began to drive and stopped at a fast food drive-thru so you could order a meal, which you ate as carefully as you could to avoid spilling as Peter navigated the start and stop traffic to the club. You arrived to the club at 8:55pm, which was cutting it far too close for your taste.

“Thanks Peter! Is it alright if I call for a ride home later?”

“That’s what I’m here for, Ms. (Y/L/N),” Peter replied.

“Great, thank you!” you yelled back at the car as you jumped out.

You began to walk toward the door and couldn’t help your mouth dropping open at the line that wound its way down the sidewalk.

“Damn,” you muttered to yourself as you walked past the door and toward the end of the line.

“Hey! (Y/N)! Get back here!” you heard a voice yell behind you.

You quickly turned around and saw Steve waving at you from behind the bouncer. You walked up to the door and the bouncer stepped aside for you after getting a knowing look from Steve.

“Hi, Steve,” you said as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside, “Don’t I need to wait in line or at least be carded?” you asked guiltily, thinking of all the people waiting outside.

“Funny,” Steve replied with a smile, leading you to the front of the club.

Steve snapped his fingers at the bar as you passed it and you were immediately followed by a waiter with a tray of drinks.

“Here you are,” Steve gestured to the table right in front of the stage, taking drinks off the tray the waiter had brought and setting them down in front of you.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can drink all of these,” you said hesitantly.

“We were unsure if you would have any guests joining you.”

“Just me tonight,” you replied.

“Well, drink what you like and someone will come back later to clean up the remnants,” Steve said before walking away.

You looked at the array of drinks on the table. There were glasses of wine, a few mixed drinks, and a couple cans of beer. You decided after everything you had been through that day, you’d start off strong and grabbed what seemed to be a Manhattan directly in front of you. You finished it in a few gulps. You moved on to the chocolate martini, taking a long swig of it and almost choking as the sound of Steve yelling out the announcement for the White Wolf and the Howlers startled you.

The curtains whisked open and directly in front of you stood James Barnes, who was looking you straight in the eyes. He gave you a wink before he started to sing.

I’m a puppet on a string

Tracy Island, time-traveling

Diamond cutter-shaped heartaches

Come to find you four in some velvet morning

Years too late, she’s a silver lining

Lone ranger riding through an open space

In my mind when she’s not right there beside me

I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine?

Are you mine?

Are you mine? Woah, ah

James didn’t break eye contact with you, and licked his lips at you after asking “are you mine” before moving on to the next verse.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I need the deep end

Keep imagining meeting, wished away entire lifetimes

Unfair we’re not somewhere misbehaving for days

Great escape, lost track of time and space

She’s a silver lining climbing on my desire

You could’ve sworn his eyes were getting darker as he continued to sing. He began to slowly grind on his microphone stand and it had you feeling butterflies in your stomach.

And I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

Are you mine? (Are you mine, mine?)

And the thrill of the chase moves in mysterious ways

So in case I’m mistaken I

Just wanna hear you say, “You got me, baby

Are you mine?”

She’s got a silver lining

Lone ranger riding through an open space

In my mind when she’s not right there beside me

I go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself, all I

Wanna hear her say is “Are you mine?”

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

Are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

(Or just mine tonight?)

You were completely mesmerized by James Barnes. James winked at you as the curtain shut in front of him. You weren’t sure if you had accidentally spilled a drink on yourself given the hypnotic state James had you in or if you were slightly dampened for another reason.

You finished the martini and moved on to a glass of red wine as you sat waiting for James to come out to see you like he had done last time. Two bands and two glasses of wine later and James still hadn’t come to join you or whisk you away to dance. You decided you should probably use the bathroom as the next band set up. A waiter directed you to the area near the bar and you quickly used the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror, flattened your hair down, and adjusted your boobs to get them popping more.

As you exited the bathroom, you were feeling a bit brave and a whole lot of reckless thanks to how much you had to drink. Rather than return to your table, you decided that, since James didn’t come to you, you would go to him. You snuck around the side of the dance floor to the door that led to the backstage area. You gave a quick look around before opening the door and quickly going through it. It took your eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting. The loudness of the new band starting their set caused you to slightly stumble as you walked up the few stairs right inside the door. Your eyes becoming more comfortable in the dark lighting, you walked down the hallway. There were more rooms than you had expected, and they were all ajar enough that you could see bands warming up and hanging out inside of them. You continued past the bands, smiling to yourself at the thought of surprising James.

How should I greet him? You wondered, A handshake? A hug? A kiss? Just thinking of his lips against yours made you shiver with anticipation.

You felt like you had been walking for ages and you still hadn’t come across James. You thought about giving up when you reached a closed door at the end of the hallway. It was removed from the other rooms and the first door that had been completely shut. You stood there for a moment and your heart fluttered as you heard James’s voice from behind the door. You knocked lightly on the door and waited to hear him invite you in. You heard nothing, so you knocked a little harder. You still heard nothing, so you tried the doorknob. It turned. You took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

You froze and instantly sobered up as you saw what was happening inside the room. Steve was repeatedly punching a man who was tied up to a chair as James and another man tied to a chair watched.

“Tell. Me. What. You. Know.” James sneered at the man not getting punched with a tone that made your skin crawl.

“Never,” the man with a thick Russian accent responded before spitting on the ground.

“Looks like we need to try something else then,” James retorted as he smacked the man upside the head and furiously spun his chair around so they were face to face. He pulled a pair of brass knuckles from his pocket and made an ordeal of putting them on, “I’ll give you one more chance to talk.”

“Fuck you!” the Russian yelled, spitting again.

“So be it,” James said before landing a hard blow against the Russian’s jaw, “Steve, you can stop, that one looks like he’s about gone. He probably doesn’t know shit anyway.”

“Yes sir,” Steve huffed, stopping his own blows and turning to face James as he landed another punch to the Russian.

Steve’s mouth fell open as he looked past James and saw you, slack jawed and with tears brimming in your eyes.

“Shit...Buck, stop!” Steve yelled over the sound of the Russian’s scream of pain from a hard hit to the side of the head.

“Why?” James grunted.

All Steve could do was point. James turned around and the sneer on his lips quickly changed into a look of panic.

“Deal with this,” he muttered, as he slipped off his brass knuckles.

Your fight or flight response kicked in and you ran away. You fumbled through your purse for your phone and dialed Peter’s number. Although your mind seemed clear of the alcohol, your body was not and in your attempt to call Peter you tripped and fell. James caught up with you and joined you on the ground.

“(Y/N), you’re bleeding. Let me help,” James said, looking at the huge gash on you had gotten on your knee, pulling the handkerchief from his pocket, and placing it against the cut.

You winced, not from the pain, but from his touch against you, “Get away from me,” you choked out as the tears began to burn out of your eyes. You grabbed your phone and heard Peter asking for you on the other end, “Come get me, Peter,” you said, stifling your cries and quickly hanging up

“(Y/N), what you saw back there…”

“I don’t care, just get away from me!” you yelled, pushing him away from you and trying to hoist yourself up off the ground.

“Please, (Y/N), let me help you,” James said, standing up and offering you his hand.

You got yourself to a standing position on your own, “James stay the fuck away from me,” you heaved through sobs as you stumbled down the hallway.

Through your tears you fumbled down the steps and took a deep breath in before going through the door. You knew James was behind you the whole time, but you didn’t dare turn around and he didn’t dare speak again. You were afraid you would cry harder or maybe even throw up if you made eye contact with him. You tried to go as nonchalantly, but quickly through the club as you could as your knee gushed blood down your leg with every step. You got to the front door and pushed it open. You saw your car waiting and ran to get in. Rage and frustration had deafened you, but as you struggled to buckle up in the backseat, you faintly heard Peter talking to someone.

“Drive Peter!” you yelled.

Peter quickly peeled out from his spot and began to drive you home. The ride was silent, which you were thankful for. Your anger and fear fought each other the whole way and you didn’t know which emotion should win. You were afraid of everything that you had seen and angry at James for being involved in whatever it was he was involved in. As much as you hated to be, you were also angry at yourself for letting your guard down and going to look for a man who was involved in some fucked up shit.

“Here you are,” Peter said as he pulled up to your apartment.

“Thanks,” you mumbled as you got out of the car.

You quickly got your keys out and let yourself into your apartment. You kicked the shoes James had bought you off and didn’t care where they landed. You ran into the bathroom and immediately threw up into the toilet. You lay on the bathroom floor, nauseous and crying before passing out.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Do I Wanna Know? Tag List:

@mrooks0205 @shann-the-artist-moon @ashtheteenagewitch @abschaffer2 @nuclearuniversalrage @nootrishus @brilliantbellesoares

Bucky Barnes Tag List:

@basementcafe @ria132love @courtmr @jobean12-blog @gloomyleaves

Permanent Tag List:

@sophiealiice @mrsdeanwinchester19 @thisismysecrethappyplace @ailynalonso15 @221bshrlocked @hazellnut94 @libbymouse @nerdypinupcrystal @hufflepuffchloe @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @dibsonamericasass

#fan fic #au #mobster au #mobster bucky #gangster bucky #bucky barnes x reader #white wolf #james barnes x reader #bucky barnes #do i wanna know

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poguesofthebau · 4 years ago

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Hi love! Idk if you’re still doing ships, but if you are could you please do one for the obx characters for me? I’m a 5”3 straight gal with short red hair and pale skin. I could’ve been in twilight lol. I love rock and alternative music. I’m also a dancer:) I love making people happy and always try to be there for everyone and have a smile on my face. I do get really nervous super easily and I never quite know how to handle but we deal. Thank you! I hope you’re doing alright during these times!

i ship you with pope!! (honorary mention: we all know jj also loves rock and alternative so the two of you would initially bond over music taste, and then you’d become besties, and you’d go to concerts and stuff together and it would be the world’s cutest friendship. also nothing could make pope happier than his best friend and his girl being so close.)

pope was a smart ass just like jj and john b, something i think we sometimes forget bc our judgements are clouded by his angel-babyness. but, like, that first scene of episode one when he tells john b he’ll shoot him on his way down? that “i’ll be so safe?” two of many examples of times when pope’s words were just like... out of pocket. you would legit just love sitting and listening to jj and pope bicker back and forth, even though it often times annoyed the shit out of kie and john b, you thought it was hilarious. the first real thing about pope you saw was his sarcasm. at first, you thought he was just the brains of the operation, but once you got into the back of the twinkie with the boys for the first time, you realized... pope was like an onion. yes, that’s right, layers. *cue shrek quote* the more you saw of him, the real pope, the more intrigued you were. soon enough you realized that intrigue was more of an interest, and then the interest grew to feelings. everyone had kind of expected you to end up with jj when you first started hanging around with them, but when you and pope got together (after you executed an elaborate plan to trick him into kissing you during a kegger and then confessed your feelings to him), no one was really that surprised. the two of you just sort of balanced each other out somehow. in times when pope was freaking out over school or his scholarship or kooks being out to get him, you could shoot him the perfect goofy little grin to pull him out of it. and when you started to fret a little too much over jj doing risky ass flips off the hms pogue or picking a fight with rafe or going home to his dad, pope always found just the right way to say ‘he’s an idiot but he knows what he’s doing.’

that was pretty much the situation one night at the Boneyard. before you’d left for the kegger, pope was absolutely going out of his mind trying to edit an english paper that was due the following monday. it was worth a huge amount of his grade, and english was his ‘worst subject,’ so he insisted on sitting silently in the guest room of The Chateau, rereading and making edits where they needed to be made. you, however, were not accepting that. after jj and john b burst into the room and tried to rip his laptop out of his grip, resulting in an obsessive and angry pope, you were slipping quietly into the room and sitting next to him in the bed. peeking over his shoulder, you skimmed over a few words before looking back to your boyfriend. “whatcha doin’?” pope was typing rapidly on the keys, not even pausing when you spoke. “ummm... i’m... just... working on... my... paper.” with his final word, he glanced up at you. you’d catch his eye for just a second before he was turning back to his laptop screen. “hmmm,” you’d hum, leaning forward to obstruct his view a little. “hey, i can’t see!” as he spoke, pope stopped typing to throw his hands up in the air, giving you the perfect opportunity to quickly press Save before slamming the laptop shut. “all done. come on, now, my little genius.” “hey! what the hell! i have to finish that!” as pope complained, you would be moving the laptop to the side, standing in front of the boy and placing a hand on each side of his face. “no, you have to finish it monday. today, friday, we party. ‘kay?” you pecked his lips a few times, kissing him until he broke into a smile. “that’s like, scientifically not fair. you just loved me out of my homework.” you’d grin, grabbing his hands to pull him off the bed and toward the living room where the others were waiting. “hey, it’s not my fault you make me love you so much, pope.”

so there you were an hour later, flip flops thrown to the side as you wiggled your toes in the sand. you and pope were sat on a log on the Boneyard, red solo cups in hand, laughing at some stupid shit that john b had said. so far, pope was secretly grateful that you’d dragged him out, because this was one of the most fun, peaceful nights he’d had in a decent chunk of time. but of course, as soon as pope admitted that fact to himself, things took a turn. things, as in, the current population of the Boneyard. rafe cameron himself had officially set foot on the beach, and pope knew the vibe was about to die a brutal, painful death. and, as per usualy, he was right. barely half an hour after he arrived, rafe had made his way over to you, laying right into sarah, john b, and jj. (for some reason, they were his favorite pogues to verbally and sometimes physically torture.) things escalated quickly, with kie throwing her drink on rafe and jj immediately stepped in to defend her actions. you, not the biggest fan of physical fights, would be trying not to hyperventilate from where you stood a few feet away, shifted slightly behind pope as chaos ensued. after yelling a few times to try to stop jj, pope was turning to you. his hands would be on your shoulders, shaking you gently to get you to shift your eyes from jj slamming rafe into the ground to him. your eyes flickered over to his, and you snapped back into reality. “fuck,” you’d breathe, eyes still wide. “it’s fine. he’ll be fine. just stay behind me, okay?” and once you nodded to let him know you were okay, he would turn back to his friend to find him on his back, taking hits from rafe. soon enough john b and topper were interfering, having developed some newfound peace, to separate their friends from each other. after each almost breaking loose a few times, the fight was over, and all that was left to deal with was jj’s anger. you dropped your forehead onto pope’s back, sighing in relief. “i’m sorry i took you from your homework, after all.” he’d turn back to you, a smile on his face. “at least i got drinks and a show, i guess.” he’d lean down and kiss you, breaking away a few seconds later when you giggled at your own thoughts. “you’re still ridiculous about that paper, though.”

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caws5749 · 5 years ago

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This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

#madison speaks #ask game

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thezolblade · 6 years ago

Text

Jon: “I wish I could talk it through with Martin, or Tim, or Sasha…But we never really did that, did we?”

I’ve been meaning to pull together some meta ever since hearing that line. As understandable as it is that Jon would regret the times he failed to communicate, as true as it is that he’s often fallen down there (and it’s fun seeing the fandom screaming over that on an ongoing basis)... I’d say he was too hard on himself by saying ‘never’, since there were times when he tried to communicate to the best of his ability. More than that, there are lines that give me the impression he’s always highly valued shared knowledge - that as well as being driven by a deep desire to know, he also wants to help other people know more, and gets frustrated when they don’t want to share knowledge with him or others.

Some quotes here, and interpretation below, of times when he tried to go beyond the ‘archive the closed cases’ job description that was supposedly expected of him, pursuing his priorities in the expectation that people would help - when he still expected that other people would help as a common sense assumption - or discussed events with the assistants beyond the bounds of what he was officially asking them to do for the job, etc. (Mostly s1 bc this is taking more evenings than i expected just from looking through the transcripts and a lot of episodes don’t have them yet):

MAG 001 - Anglerfish

ARCHIVIST: When an investigation has gone as far as it can, it is transferred to the Archives. [...] it seems as though little of the actual investigations have been stored in the Archives, so the only thing in most of the files are the statements themselves. [...] I plan to digitise the files as much as possible and record audio versions, though some will have to be on tape recorder as my attempts to get them on my laptop have met with... significant audio distortions. Alongside this Tim, Sasha and, yes, I suppose, Martin will be doing some supplementary investigation to see what details may be missing from what we have.

MAG 002 - Do Not Open

ARCHIVIST: When the Institute first investigated, it doesn’t look like they were able to find a single piece of evidence to support the existence of this scratched coffin, and to be honest I didn’t think it was worth wasting anyone’s time over now, nearly twenty years later. That said, I did mention it to Tim yesterday, and apparently he did some digging of his own.

MAG 004 - Pageturner

ARCHIVIST: So it doesn’t appear that we have any concrete leads to go on. Still, I will be bringing this up with Elias and recommending that the search for any other missed books from the Leitner library be made this Institute’s highest priority. Jurgen Leitner has done the world enough harm and we must pursue all available avenues to ensure that he does no more.

MAG 006 - Squirm

ARCHIVIST: I can’t find any evidence that my predecessor took follow-up action on this statement, so I’ve taken the step of reporting Mr Hodge’s to the ECDC. We were unable to locate him to request a follow-up interview and if he has had intercourse with one of Prentiss’ victims, then they’ll need to deal with him sooner rather than later. I just hope it’s not too late already.

MAG 011 - Dreamer

ARCHIVIST: I’m not... entirely sure whether to bring this up with Elias or not. When he hired me, he was vague on the point of what happened to my predecessor, Gertrude Robinson. [...] I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke and slipped it into the archives. [...] Still, I might have a word with Rosie, to make sure I get a copy of any new statements as soon as they’re made, not just once the researchers are done with them. She seemed very open to idea of recording them, so I’m hopeful she’ll be willing to do this too.

MAG 017- The Boneturner’s Tale

ARCHIVIST: I've barely scratched the surface of the archives and have already uncovered evidence of two separate surviving books from Jurgen Leitner's library. Until he mentioned that, I was tempted to dismiss much of it out of hand, but as it stands now I believe every word. I've seen what Leitner's work can do, and this news, even 17 years out of date, is still very concerning to me. I'm going to have a discussion with Elias as to what we can do to address the issue. I know he'll just give me the old “record and study, not interfere or contain” speech again, but I at least need to make him aware of it.

MAG 020 - Desecrated Host

ARCHIVIST: This all leads me to believe that there may have been a second person there that night, although from talking with the police, I get the impression that there is little appetite for re-opening the case, considering how successful the initial prosecution was.

MAG 022 - Colony

ARCHIVIST: In which case there's a room in the Archives I use to sleep when working late. I suggest you stay there for now. I'll talk to Elias about whether we can get extra security, but the Archives have enough locks for now. [...] Well, in that time I have received several text messages from your phone, saying you were ill with stomach problems. The last one said that you thought it “might be a parasite”, though my calls trying to follow up were never answered. [...] I just received another text message. From you. “Keep him. We have had our fun. He will want to see it when the Archivist’s crimson fate arrives.”

MARTIN: What does that mean?

ARCHIVIST: It means I ask Elias to hire some extra security. I should probably warn Sasha and Tim as well.

MAG 024 - Strange Music

When discussing this case, Tim said it reminded him of some articles he'd read on travelling circuses in Russia and Poland during the early 20th century. On a whim, I hunted down a few of the volumes he mentioned in the Institute's library, and sure enough on page 43 of Gregory Petry's Freaks and Followers: Circuses in the 1940s, I found a reproduction of an old black-and-white photograph.

MAG 026 - A Distortion

SASHA: Well, I’m sure you know I was sceptical about how dangerous this Jane Prentiss was when you first suggested Martin stay in the archive. [...] You were having some argument with Tim about... um, oh, who’s that architect he’s obsessed with?

ARCHIVIST: Robert Smirke. [...] ARCHIVIST: Sasha has taken a few days off to recuperate, and I’m having a word with Elias about getting some extra CO2 fire extinguishers for the Archive.

MAG 033 - Boatswain’s Call

TIM: Um, look I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure... it’s not a big deal, I just think it might be worth re-recording these statements.

ARCHIVIST: No. I don’t have time. I still have a mountain of haphazard statements to get through, not to mention that I need to keep this wretched tape recorder on hand just in case I encounter one of the files too stubborn to work on anything else. And when I do, I have to actually read the damn thing, which is...

TIM (BACKGROUND): Oh, woah, woah... woah!

ARCHIVIST: Fine. It’s fine. I just haven’t been sleeping much these last few months, what with all this... worm business. Which reminds me, if you do see Elias, tell him thanks for the extra extinguishers. [...] ARCHIVIST: In addition to such business ventures, the Lukas family also provides funding to several academic and research organisations, including the Magnus Institute. Much as I want to dig further into this, especially given certain parallels with case 0161301, Elias gets very twitchy when we look into anything that might conceivably have funding repercussions. [...] Maybe I’ll mention it to Elias. Just in case.

MAG 035 - Old Passages

ARCHIVIST: You should have seen Tim’s face when I told him. Architecture is one of his specialist areas, and he has always talked of Smirke as one that fascinates him. How did he phrase it? “A master of subtle stability.” From a professional standpoint, it also interests him that Smirke’s buildings have higher percentages of reported paranormal sightings than any other architect of similar profile.

MAG 036 - Taken Ill

TIM: Er, what is it?

ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo.

TIM: You smoke?

ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive!

TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it?

ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You?

TIM: Ah no. No.

ARCHIVIST: Well... show it to the others, see what they think.

MAG 039 - Infestation

ARCHIVIST: I got it!

[PULLS TAPE RECORDER FROM THE MORASS OF WORMS] [...]

SASHA: Why record it?

ARCHIVIST: What?

SASHA: Before, in the office. It, it was stupid going for the tape recorder like that, and then when you dropped it out there— [...]

ARCHIVIST: I just... I don’t want to become a mystery. I refuse to become another goddamn mystery. [...] Every real statement just leads... deeper into something I don’t even know the shape of yet. And to top it all, I still don’t know what happened to Gertrude. Officially she’s still missing, but Elias is no help and the police were pretty clear that the wait to call her dead is just a formality. If I die, wormfood or... something else, whatever, I’m going to make damn sure the same doesn’t happen to me. Whoever takes over from me is going to know exactly what happened. [...]

ARCHIVIST: Of course, I believe. Of course I do. Have you ever taken a look at the stuff we have in Artefact storage? That’s enough to convince anyone. But, but even before that... Why do you think I started working here? It’s not exactly glamorous. I have... I’ve always believed in the supernatural. Within reason. I mean. I still think most of the statements down here aren’t real. Of the hundreds I’ve recorded, we’ve had maybe... thirty, forty that are... that go on tape. Now those, I believe, at least for the most part.

MARTIN: Then why do you—

ARCHIVIST: Because I’m scared, Martin! Because when I record these statements it feels... it feels like I’m being watched. I... I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like... like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will... know somehow. The scepticism, feigning ignorance. It just felt safer.

MARTIN: Well... It wasn’t.

ARCHIVIST: No. No, it wasn’t.

[...]

ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit?

MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now?

ARCHIVIST: No... We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of... this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here?

MARTIN: [Considering] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t... move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

Martin...You’re not, uh... You didn’t die here, did you?

MARTIN: What? What? N-No... what?!

ARCHIVIST: No, I just... No, just the way you phrased that...

MARTIN: Made you think I was a ghost?

ARCHIVIST: No... it’s—

MARTIN: No, no... it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think.

MAG041 - Too Deep

Why do I still feel like I’m being watched? I’d just about convinced myself it was Prentiss, watching me in secret while she filled the walls with her writhing hordes, but no. She is dead and gone, and still whenever I talk into this... damn thing, I feel this... I’m being watched. I know I am. [...] my primary focus must be on who killed Gertrude Robinson, and I do not believe for a moment that it was a wall-moving spectre from the depths of the earth. No, far more likely it’s one of my colleagues. Elias is a prime suspect, but it could have been any of them. [...] I can make two tapes from each recording. One containing the main statement and notes, which will be stored in the archive, and the other containing the statement, notes, and... this supplement, which will chronicle my own investigations. These tapes will be hidden. If you’re hearing this, I assume you’re my replacement, following my death or disappearance, and have received instructions on where to find them. [...] This level of paranoia is new to me, but I’m learning fast. Trust can get you killed.

...So, reading back over season 1 was interesting. Jon was asked to organise an archive of statements that were no longer under investigation by the institute. (Leading a team of four ex-researchers, himself included, who were used to working on open investigations. He was told that the institute’s mission statement was to study but not to ‘interfere or contain’, to the point where he got sick of Elias giving him that speech.)

He believed every statement that we heard him record, and he had all 3 assistants take part in re-opening an investigation into each of them through all available lines of enquiry (instead of devoting more resource to getting the existing material filed in a sensible system asap).

Wherever there was a chance it would do some good, he reported his findings to the authorities, and pushed to see if the Institute or the police would go further on the basis of his information.

He discussed the cases with his assistants thoroughly enough to know their areas of personal interest in the supernatural, and when they got into trouble, he immediately offered them as much protection as he could and went to Elias for help, prompting some of the others to express skepticism about the threats that he was clearly taking seriously, maybe excessively so...?

And yet because he felt watched by something supernatural, and convinced himself that it was Jane Prentiss somehow, he lied constantly by feigning skepticism even while following every lead and pushing everyone else to do the same. It’s a wonder anyone was fooled tbh, and it backfired by discouraging Martin and Sasha from confiding in him until they were in deep trouble. It also made his complaint about lack of sleep look relatively grumpy/petty to Tim, since he didn’t quite admit the full scale of the problem with nightmares and the exhaustion that the statements magically caused.

When Elias was feigning a normal level of ignorance in ep 39 he told Sasha: “You know how those two are... John puts on a good show, but sometimes I swear he’s worse than Martin.” And in ep 40 he told Jon: “I... know I have often seemed dismissive of your concerns before, and in fact I was getting ready to raise the issue of Martin’s continuing to live in the Institute’s basement”. If Elias was faking something like the rest of the Institute staff’s attitude (to things he wouldn’t admit to knowing all about)... then people really did doubt Jon’s skeptic act, feeling that he was always complaining about supernatural threats and going overboard in trying to protect people.

That changed in season 2, when he came to believe that one of his colleagues had murdered Gertrude, and stopped trusting all of them. When he was worried that his own death might be imminent, in the midst of Prentiss’ attack and in the paranoid aftermath, one of his main concerns was communicating with his successor through the tapes.

He doesn’t want his fate to be a mystery to those he leaves behind. Considering how much danger he puts himself in, diving into a pile of worms for the recorder, and later stating that he’d rather die exploring the tunnels than leave the Institute’s secrets buried, he’s more interested in getting information out to other people than in surviving.

Mid-season 2, when he gets scared, he talks about taking a break from his investigations until he can get more help from the police, especially as he thinks he’s trying to track down a human murderer. That remaining trust in authority doesn’t lead him to him collaborating with Basira to the extent he’d hoped, since she eventually makes it clear she wants nothing more to do with him, and he discovers that not!Sasha is a supernatural threat that the police couldn’t help with anyway.

The start of season 3 sees him reflecting that he didn’t turn to his assistants for help because he didn’t want to get them killed, and once he makes it back to the archives, he tries to overcome his recent trust issues and more long-standing hero complex by involving the others in his plans again - though they take care not to let those plans show up on tape, since they’re plotting against Elias by that point. When Jon asks everyone to record their thoughts before the unknowing in Testament, he’s trying to get them all communicating - with themselves, each other, and anyone who follows in their footsteps.

So far in season 4, he’s been more ready than ever to collaborate, but the others are mostly refusing to talk to him. His first instinct when he uncovers immediately relevant information is to go tell Basira, and he heeds her advice when he asks whether they can tell Melanie. (Which was unfair on Melanie, but at least you can see why he’d fear for his life after she threatened to attack him on sight if he ever tried to talk to her again.) He tried to tell Martin what had been going on instead of trying to compel information from him, and apparently hasn’t had much chance to speak to anyone else, or to leave the building.

He has the power to compel other people to see truths that they wouldn’t have recognised on their own; he only had to ask Tim what he was holding for Tim to see the detonator. And he may compare himself to Gertrude for losing assistants, but he talked to Sasha and Tim about the threats they were facing at the time, to the best of his knowledge. If Gertrude seems to have fought her battles by deliberately misleading people so that she could sacrifice them, and by taking out ‘loose ends’ to keep herself from being incriminated...

Well, I think Jon’s on his way to distinguishing himself from his predecessor through good communication, despite the massive stumbling blocks of his paranoid phase and isolation. (And through his extreme protectiveness towards individual people, compared to her way of prioritising the big picture.) He’s always wanted to get the truth out in the open, despite sometimes holding back out of fear that he won’t be believed, or he’ll get himself or others killed. Some of his most uncharismatic moments have been his attempts to tell people the truth when his knowledge was too patchy to convince them, and he wasn’t tactful enough to try to bring them on-side with diplomacy instead of facts and theories. As his powers grow, one of his most effective abilities might be to help his allies see the truth, so that they can join forces by choice.

E.g. maybe he’ll eventually find out what Peter’s up to from Martin - or maybe he’ll ask about something that he didn’t even realise was part of the plan, granting Martin an insight into something that neither of them knew beforehand.

[Edit: Wrote the above post in the mid-s4 hiatus and, uh. He sure did try to collaborate on a lot of stuff, but. Also fucked up pretty thoroughly, so. The s4 thoughts feel a bit over-optimistic in retrospect. Leaving it strikethrough rather than deleted though.]

#the magnus archives #tma thoughts

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garbagequeer · 5 years ago

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hey hello im writing a piece for laptop ensemble that involves sampling and i need the most repressed/tender/yearning quotes you got. just as gay and heart wrenching as you can. but also no pressure I know youre a stranger on the web I just feel like you post that kind of stuff a lot thank you bye

hope this isnt like too late school keeps me busy :( (also can you put a read more on asks? guess i’ll find out). i ended up choosing many quotes from the same texts cause im indecisive as shit but i’ll bold my favorites from those in case that makes it easier for you!

anyways first of all you can never go wrong w richard siken as obvious as that is. these are both from you are jeff

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.

Let’s say you’ve swallowed a bad thing and now it’s got its hands inside you. This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean but you’re happy anyway, and that’s okay, it’s a love story

this one’s from planet of love (the format got fucked bc tumblr is not actually a finctional website but :/ )

I have a megaphone and you play along, because you want to die for love, you always have. Imagine this:You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting. You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,you’ve memorized it,

from litany in which certain things are crossed out

I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you’re really there.Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live? Let me do it right for once,

sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. Especially that, but I should have known.You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I sayor love me back.

We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, smiling and crying in a way that made meeven more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud.Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.

from snow and dirty rain

I had a dream about you. We were in the gold roomwhere everyone finally gets what they want.

that scene from when harry met sally where sally says:

One day I was taking Alice’s little girl fro the afternoon. I’d promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I spy” - you know, “I spy a lamppost”, “I spy a mailbox” - and she looked out the window and there was this man and this woman with two little kids, and the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice’s little girl said “I spy a family”, and I satrted crying, you know? I just started crying, and I went home

(like anyone else sometimes cries when u see a family doing something nice? is it because i want to participate in a sense of family of my own but have been excluded as a gay person from it’s portrayals and it makes me go :^( cause i dont feel there’s room for me there but i want there to be and i just have to long for this nuclear family heteronormative way of life that i’ve been made to believe is idylic? is it because my parents got divorced and my dad’s an ass and my mom is just a very angry lady and i want to re-do my own childhood? who knows. should we ban movies? yes we should!)

from maurice (ultimate source of tender)

“There was something better in life than this rubbish, if only he could get to it, love, nobility, big spaces where passion clasped peace, spaces no science could reach, but they existed for ever, full of woods some of them, and arched with majestic sky and a friend”

‘Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Nothing else but just “my friend”, he trying to help you and you him. A friend’ he repeated, sentimental suddenly. ‘Someone to last your whole life and you his. I suppose such a thing can’t really happen outside sleep’

we are all so lucky i don’t actually own maurice in english this would just turn into me quoting the whole book

ee cummings voices to voices, lip to lip

the thing perhaps isto eat flowers and not to be afraid.

from virgina woolf’s letters to vita

7 september 1925

january 21 1926 vita writes

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

and on january 26 virginia writes back

Your letter from Trieste came this morning—But why do you think I don’t feel, or that I make phrases? ‘Lovely phrases’ you say which rob things of reality. Just the opposite. Always, always, always I try to say what I feel. Will you then believe that after you went last Tuesday—exactly a week ago—out I went into the slums of Bloomsbury, to find a barrel organ. But it did not make me cheerful … And ever since, nothing important has happened—Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass. Lovely phrases? …

from virginia’s diary, about vita on december 21 1925

I like her and being with her and the splendour–she shines in the grocer’s shop in Sevenoaks with a candle lit radiance, stalking on legs like beech trees, pink glowing, grape clustered, pearl hung.

from virginia woolf’s to the light house

What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart? Could loving, as people called it, make her and Mrs Ramsay one? for it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge, she had thought, leaning her head on Mrs Ramsay’s knee. Nothing happened. Nothing! Nothing! as she leant her head against Mrs Ramsay’s knee. And yet, she knew knowledge and wisdom were stored up in Mrs Ramsay’s heart.

Love had a thousand shapes. There might be lovers whose gift it was to choose out the elements of things and place them together and so, giving them a wholeness not theirs in life, make of some scene, or meeting of people (all now gone and separate), one of those globed compacted things over which thought lingers, and love plays.

there forced themselves upon her other things, her own inadequacy, her insignificance, keeping house for her father off the Brompton Road, and had much ado to control her impulse to fling herself (thank Heaven she had always resisted so far) at Mrs Ramsay’s knee and say to her—but what could one say to her? “I’m in love with you?” No, that was not true. “I’m in love with this all,” waving her hand at the hedge, at the house, at the children. It was absurd, it was impossible

(fun fact: the spanish translation adds something that i’d translate as “one could not say what one meant / what one wanted to say”, which i really like and i was disapointed to find out isnt on the english edition)

It was love, she thought, pretending to move her canvas, distilled and filtered; love that never attempted to clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of the human gain. So it was indeed. The world by all means should have shared it

from the great gatsby

I didn’t want to go to the city. I wasn’t worth a decent stroke of work but it was more than that—I didn’t want to leave Gatsby. I missed that train, and then another, before I could get myself away (…) Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around. ‘They’re a rotten crowd,’ I shouted across the lawn. ‘You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’ I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him

from kafka’s diaries

may 27 1911: Today is your birthday, but I am not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not in position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so necessary for me today to be near you for a moment

parts from a from a letter he wrote to oskar pollak on february 4 1902

When we talk together the words are hard; we tread over them as if they were rough pavement. The most delicate things acquire awkward feet and we can’t help it. We’re almost in each other’s way; I bump into you and you - I don’t dare and you. When we come to things that are not exactly cobblestones or the Kunstwart, we suddenly see that we are in masquerade, acting with angular faces (especially me, I admit), and then we become sad and bored. Does anyone make you as bored as I do?

then I fall silent and you fall silent and you become bored, and I become bored and it’s all like a stupid hangover and there’s no use lifting a hand. But neither wants to say this to the other, out of shame or fear or - You see, we are afraid of each other, or I am.

Of course I understand it. It’s boring to stand for years in front of an ugly wall and it just won’t crumble away. Of course, but the wall is afraid for itself, fro the garden (if there is one), and you get out of sorts, yawn, have headaches, don’t know where to turn

You often talk with her, not only for the sake of talking. You walk around with her somewhere here or there, or in Roztok, and i sit at my desk at home. You talk with her, and in the middle of a sentence somebody jumps up and makes a bow. That is me with my untrimmed words and angular faces. That lasts only a moment, and then you go on talking. I sit at my desk at home and yawn. I’ve been trhough it already. Wouldn’t that separate us? Is that so strange? Are we enemies? I am very fond of you

from his leters to milena

Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.

jane wong. from clearing

We want to believe everything has meaning.Plums blossom over a power grid

and I am in love again. The shame of it.

from leslie harrison’s [sirens]

I’m not Penelope married to faith married to waitingbound in fine soft strands of silk dyed and stretchedin my world longing has teeth and fins has a tastefor blood longing is a room built entirely of knives

Lorde’s melodrama tour interlude

Don’t you wish you could go inside a heart, see the strings and atrium’s, everything beating and bleeding. It’s kind of funny, I spend almost every minute thinking about love. Being guided, and divided by love. But I’ve never seen it. It’s just a rumour, a comedown, an afterglow. I wanna see it, in colour. In the summer, I can almost picture it

from Andrea Long Chu’s on liking women

One day, you tell yourself, it will give you what you want. Then, one day, it doesn’t. Now it dawns on you that your object will probably never give you what you want. But this is not what’s disappointing, not really. What’s disappointing is what happens next: nothing. You keep your object. You continue to follow it around, stash it in a drawer, water it, tweet at it. It still doesn’t give you what you want—but you knew that. You have had another realization: not getting what you want has very little to do with wanting it. Knowing better usually doesn’t make it better. You don’t want something because wanting it will lead to getting it. You want it because you want it

ada limón, In a Mexican Restaurant I Recall How Much You Upset Me

But love is impossible and it goes ondespite the impossible. You’re the muscleI cut from the bone and still the boneremembers, still it wants (so much, it wants)the flesh back, the real thing,if only to rail against it, if onlyto argue and fight, if only to missa solve-able absence.

i dont think i need to get into mitski songs because you probably already know but basically pink in the night/come into the water/once more to see you/in happy when she says if you’re going take the train so i can hear it rumble one last rumble/in i want you from the first verse to the first time she goes “i just need a quiet place where i can scream how i love you” (YES the card thing is very important)/the first verse of i will (w emphasis on everything you feel is good i f you wold only let you)/abbey/strawberry blond

sufjan steven’s futile devices obviously predatory wasp of the palisades you know the drill

was going to find some twin fantasy lyrics but i started thinking about famous prophets (minds) and like. emotionally left my body so. i wont be thinking about it or any other songs anymore it makes me too crazy

from frances ha

It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.

from ellen lee’s notes on twin fantasy that i revisit constantly

there’s no going back to deliver these words to the ones they were really meant for. That’s how heartbreak feels, I guess. It feels like your heart in between the teeth of someone who’s looking away. When you’ve lost your loved object, what happens to all the things you have to say to them? When they’re turned away, what happens to all the things that you couldn’t, but desperately need(ed) to, say to their face? He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes a fantasy. You have your bleeding heart, you have a finite set of memories — when nothing new enters and you’re unwilling to let go, then you have a fantasy. The loved object enters into you and transforms.

the journey home by dermot bolger(havent read this at all dont really plan to/dont know a thing about it either i just came across this shit like 2 years ago and i still think about it)

I wanted to hurt him; I wanted just to touch him. What I wanted I’m not really sure. If he had stopped and opened his arms I would have walked towards him; I would have sat on the kerb all night with him

adam b, sweet i have a (really gay) heart

i feel like my body is the extension of a lake. i feel really badabout not telling you the truth, sometimes. i feelreally small next to you. tall boys remind me of bean stalks.i wish i had your legs. i wish i could know your handsbefore i even touch them

aaaand i think that’s all i could think of and track down, hope this is actually helpful and not too long (i am indecisive no kidding). also ksjdfg it’s nice that you thought to ask me this and i did have fun going over all these quotes so thank you 💖💖💖

#answered #i hope this fits what you were looking for!!#and i hope read mores are working on mobile djfgk #c #thing #Anonymous

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violixs · 2 years ago

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SIX MORE WEEKS !! WAH our school dates are so different???? when does your school start again after summer mine starts in august so i assume yours starts in september or october…? AHH IM SO EXITEF TO START KOREAN BUT AT THE SME TIME I JAVE NO MOTIVATION SO FAR THIS SUMMER i’m like a starfish glued to my bed that keeps telling myself i have things to do but then the day passes and i’m like. oops. OSJSIS I GOT CALLED A ANGEL BY MAE BUT THAT IS U. so after reading your seungmim fic i’ve made a notes page with all my fav quotes from the story and i’m gonna go through all your fics and reread all of them and find lines that made me emotional or i relate to ect ect and have a whole COLLECTION OF WORDS BY MAE THAT MEAN A LOT TO ME BC U JUST HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS 💔💔 it might take a while but I AM DETERMINED . AND WHAT LITTERALLY no lie. this is SUCH A GOOD FIC ACTUALLY ONE OF MU FAVS FROM U HOW DARE IT NOT DO GOOD 😾😾😾 U ALWAYS BLOW ME AWAY WITH YOUR WRITING EVERY SINGLE TIME MAE stop the your eyes mv is making me go delulu THE WAY THE FELIX STARING I SEUNGMIN LINO FONT IM DEAD.

yes six more 🥲 i finish around the twentieth of july and go back at the beginning of september! AH KOREAN i’ve been trying to get back into the habit of it but i don’t think i’ll be too consistent until exams r over in july </3 but today i went through the silent cry lyrics because i had them up on spotify while i was listening to it and i could make out what it was saying basically but i wanted to understand it better so i have a whole load of vocab from the lyrics scribbled in my book… very fun way to learn tbh so after u learn a few grammar structures and stuff i definitely recommend <3

THE NOTES THING???i simply do not deserve u u r so ?????? WAHHHH pls only do it if u want to 😭 and if u rlly do then pls show me i am very intrigued on how other ppl view my writing… i am literally sitting w my laptop about to get onto a felix fic i started but i’ve written so many beginnings and none of them are doing it for me 🥲 i have a feeling i will revisit this one lots..

BUT YOUR EUES MV STOP. DO N IT GET ME STARYED. three minutes and thirty three seconds and i had eight different boyfriends. lee knows for some reason ???? what the fuck ???? what did he eat that morning???? because his sent me into space i was not okay mentally nor physically afterwards AND ALSO HYUNES ☹️☹️☹️ my baby he is not helping me here i am so delulu it is concerning.. and we do not. talk about felix. ajdhjs hehehe

#i am also trying something new fkr the lix fic.#film star au #WHATTTT WHO SAID THAT 🙈#don’t hold me accountable if it stays in my wips forever #.asks #.nat (＾∇＾)

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educxtional · 7 years ago

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I was really struggling this week. Working way too hard, skipping breaks and meals, not staying hydrated, not showering, not taking my meds. it was bad. even at the busiest times, self-care is so so important. if I needed help, then I'm probably not the only one. all of these lil ideas are small and relatively easy and I highly doing something nice for yourself, even if it’s not on the list. hope you all have a wonderful day/week/year.

(my personal favourites in bold)

drink some cold water

wash your hands and face with cool water

make some tea

get a blanket and snuggle it around you

snuggle an animal/stuffed animal

buy your favorite candy from the gas station

close your eyes and listen to your fav song on repeat for 10 mins

put on some throwback jams (high school musical, mamma mia, 90s, u do u) and dance around ur room in ur undies

make a calming playlist

call a friend/relative just to say hi and hear someone else’s voice

rewatch cute/funny/happy clips from ur fav tv show/band/movie on youtube

put on a skirt and twirl (yes boys/agenders/trans u can do this too)

scribble really hard with black pen on a blank page and scream

look at the sky/moon/sunset/sunrise/stars

write

watch kitten/puppy/small animal live streams on youtube

go outside, even if its just by ur front door, and take some deep breaths

eat something - fruit, veggies are best

change ur contacts/clean ur glasses if you wear those

change your underwear

if u can't get urself to shower, wash off w a damp washcloth/baby wipe

put on a cute/comfy outfit that makes you feel good about urself

dont put eye makeup on so you can rub your eyes & they wont feel heavy

stretch, do some yoga or meditate

get a breathing/meditation app and use it (headspace is gr8)

take a nap

go to bed before 11 pm

brush your teeth

turn off bright harsh lights and use smaller, warmer lamps

unplug. give your eyes/brain a break from screens for a half hour

get one of those pet/family apps/games and care for someone else for a change

find cool people on tumblr and send them anonymous compliments (that you actually think are true - spread love)

find a quote, write it/print it nicely and stick it on ur wall

watch a new movie

boil some cinnamon sticks/vanilla bean for 5 mins so ur house smells pretty. if in ur room, use essential oil drops or candles

make your bed

vacuum

wipe down ur desk w some disinfectant

clean something - a backpack, small area, fluff ur pillow, put away one shirt

do your makeup all pretty and nice just because/dress up just because

research into your dream job/vacation/city/whatever

open up pages/canva/photshop/etc and make something just for fun

build a fort and crawl under it

find an easy diy and do it/ be proud of ur creative genius

make a list of things that make you happy. stick it somewhere you’ll see it all the time

print a picture of someone/thing that’s pissing u off and throw things at it (tape it to a dart board if u have one)

reread a book that makes you happy

clip your nails, clean the dirt from under them

send some good old fashioned snail mail to someone u like just for fun

take some selfies if you’re feelin it (see #40)

fuzzy socks. enough said.

make yourself a fancy meal/cocktail/coffee/tea latte/drink/whatevs

open ur window or put on a fan/air purifier. get some air circulating

draw, even if u think u suck.

reach out to kids help phone (canada) or a suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone about more serious matters. you deserve help and care and support. (message me if you need resources)

donate to a local animal shelter (if u have the means obviously)

go for a walk/run/bike ride

put on a face mask

take a bubble path

shave ur legs and moisturize

moisturize

bake some cookies

go on spotify/youtube and find some new music you love

make a really fun upbeat playlist for next time u get the aux cord

scroll through some wholesome or funny meme accounts. whatever you’re in the mood for.

take some cool pictures of whatever you want

change up your room in any small ( or big) way that you can

teach urself a new skill on youtube (simple like a hair style, or complicated like an instrument, whatever u want)

sign up to volunteer at a library/homeless shelter/soup kitchen/retirement home/daycare center/etc. help those who need it. be giving.

put on sad music and cry. let ur mascara run. be dramatic. let it out.

put rock music on and stomp and scream throw (soft) things. let it out.

teach urself the words to a fast rap song thats cool right now so you can impress ur friends/classmates/family

print off some kid colouring pages and dont stay inside the lines

brush your hair, take it out of a ponytail if its been like that for a while, or put it up if its down and in ur way

diy a hair mask (coconut oil) and do that

exfoliate ur whole body and feel like a whole new person

clear out ur phone/laptop. delete old messages, numbers of people u dont like/hang out with, get rid of photos of shitty friends, apps u dont use, etc

find cards against humanity online (or if u have it use the cards) and play with urself - make funny matches just because

empty a drawer (or multiple) and fold ur stuff neatly

do something that will make u sweat (gym, dance, clean) then take a nice shower

take a second to listen to ur body. unclench muscles that are clenched, fix ur poster, massage/stretch tight areas

move to a different area of the house for a little while. clear ur head.

go out, anywhere. window shop, go to a coffee shop/library and work. people watch if ur broke.

update your planner

make Pinterest board/real life vision of things that make you happy for when in this situation again

find a youtuber you like and watch their videos

lie on the floor, listen to music and do nothing for a while

give yourself a pep talk in the mirror and then stand like superman for a few mins. sounds silly but it works. its called powerposing. look it up.

repeating this bc important: hydrate!!!

start a new tv show

order something online so u have something to look forward to

go sit with a family member and keep them company. u dont have to talk to them.

the app ‘trump dump’ will make u feel better about the current us political situation

read happy news: find stories of students doing something cool, women kicking ass, men being amazing, whatever. bonus points if this inspires u

sort your garbage from recycling and help the environment

smile at people you see just because. smiling is good and nice.

look at old pictures of u and ur fav people

go through old yearbooks and take a second to appreciate how far you’ve come

go to a park and watch kids play. remember what it’s like to be young. realize you are still young. go on the swings and go as high as u can

play in a sandbox just because u still can

xo soph

#mine #my post #my posts #self care #self love #mental health #mentalhealth #selfcare #self-care #universi-tea #hey emma #heyabby #hey abby #emmastudies #heysareena #hufflepuffwannabe

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deliverydefresas · 7 years ago

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masters of the scene

I know this is super shocking bc this is probs the soonest (?) ive posted between parts lmao

I did want to hurry things up before saturday, tho, so here we have it, friendsss. if you’ve missed a part:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, “Princesa”. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts.

BREAKING: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST SAYS GOODBYE TO SKATING

SOL BENSON, 24, recently known for her role as skating legend Marissa Mint in “SHATTERED WINGS”, announced this morning she wouldn’t return to training, or to any competition as a participant again. The announcement was posted on all her social media accounts, reading: “I can proudly say it’s time. Today, a new chapter in my life begins. I’m officially retiring from professional skating.”

Benson also took the chance to thanks her fans, saying: “The last ten years have been an unforgettable experience. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank everyone who has been by my side helping, supporting, and cheering on me on this journey. I’ve done everything I could and wanted, and I hope you’re all as proud of me as I am of myself and the accomplishments we’ve done. I love you all very much.” The now ex-skater didn’t specify why she was leaving, but she affirmed it wasn’t anything but a personal choice: “I know many of you are shocked, or confused as to why I’m doing this now, that’s the reason I want to point out it’s not because of my health or a change of careers, as I know some might be thinking. Simply, this is me acknowledging my heart’s desires.”

Opinions and critics were instantaneous from the fans.

@ Sol_Benson: Thank you. pic.tw.com/3747829

@ solnation: @ Sol_Benson please tell me this is an early april fools joke I’m crying

@ sol_fan73937: @ Sol_Benson THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT, THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

@ SolMiReina56: @ Sol_Benson on one hand I’m happy you’re doing this in your terms but on the other I just want to scream whAT THE FORK BENSON

Benson’s famous friends, however, showed nothing but support for her.

@ Simon_RB: today the sun goes down and the moon rises! So proud of you @ Sol_Benson

@ JimM: Working with you, one of the greatest skaters of our time, was a privilege. Being your friend, and share all these memories, is an honor. Your talent will shine bright like your soul no matter what ♥ @ Sol_Benson

@ TheAmbarSmith: An absolute star. @ Sol_Benson

The news broke amid rumors of the skating star dating Italian heartthrob, Matteo Balsano, leading some fans and theorist that her new relationship was linked to her decision.

@ SolecitoDeMadrugada: I don’t wanna start sh*t here, folks, but Sol said she’s acknowledging ‘her heart’s desires’…. What if Balsano convinced her to quit????

@ SolBonita: If Matteo Balsano had anything to do with this I will cut that bitch in half just sayin’

@ soltteoforever: omg what if sol quit to form a duet with matteo???!!! #relationshipgoals

@ elbalsanito: if y’all really think MATTEO BALSANO would make his two minute long girlfriend quit her career for him y’all are batsh*t crazy don’t even look at me

So far Benson and her team have offered no comment to the critics, choosing silence over explanations, and only time will tell what she’s planned for herself next.

Is this really her end in skating? Will she approach a musical career with her beau? For more Sol Benson, click here!

He was a coward.

And an idiot.

An idiotic coward, really, because he hung up on her as fast as his brain and hand could do it. He could’ve lied, told her it was only a guessing. Or he could’ve come clean about his stalker-ish ways and freak her out. Or come clean and skip the stalker-ish ways. But, no, he’d hung up and now when she saw him she’d demand an explanation and probably give him crap for hanging up on her and then creating a lame excuse as to why.

Because so far, he could only come up with his phone dying in that exact moment and him forgetting to call her back. For two weeks.

Again, an idiotic coward he was.

“Are you listening to me, Matteo?” he’d been lost in his thoughts again, unsurprisingly. It was something he’d been repeating lately, and usually blamed it on him ‘mentally’ writing his songs. Sometimes, it was the truth; but most of the time it was an excuse to get Gastón and his mom off his back. Today was Delfi’s turn at enduring this lost lapse. “Matteo! This is a serious matter, you dick!” he’d laugh at the insult if it weren’t for her aggravated look. He was used to the annoyed, yet knowing look of his friend and his birther, but Delfi looked nothing but stressed. “Can you focus on what I’m telling you?”

Matteo threw her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Delfi. I was just-”

“I don’t even want to hear it! I just need to listen to me and tell me what the fuck is happening between you and Sol Benson!” Well, shit. She was even cursing now.

“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely confused now. Delfi knew better than anyone that he wasn’t dating, and even if he was, she never cared about it before. His manager sighed exasperated, throwing a newspaper across the table, pointing to him to read it.

The sole headline was enough to make his blood run cold.

“Read it till the end.”

“She’s retiring?” Matteo couldn’t believe it. A million questions came to his head as he read the article, ‘why’ being the loudest. “I just- what?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care about her, Matteo.” She sighed again, passing her fingers through her head. “What I do care about is that they’re mentioning you as the responsible.” Delfi raised her hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you aren’t. And I’d like to think a woman like her is strong enough to not let an idiot like you convince her to give up her career. However, this is bad because you’ll be crossed as a chauvinistic pig, and could seriously hurt the image the older fans have of you. We need to counterattack, fast, and I need you to tell me just exactly how close you are to Sol.”

“What for?” He was getting defensive, and Delfi could tell so, too. She softened her look.

“This is not about you being a heartthrob, Matt. This is about people judging you wrongly-”

“Are you listening to yourself? They already judge me wrongly!” Delfi pursed her lips.

“Okay, bad wording. Still, we can’t let them think you’re that kind of person either.”

“Can’t you talk to Gastón about it? Maybe he can-”

“We agreed to break the contract with most of the magazines and the heartthrob stories, but you can’t just sue someone for linking you as someone’s boyfriend. If this was an article solely about you, we could make an agreement with them but since it’s about her-”

Matteo frowned. “Can’t you talk about it with her team? You said you knew them, maybe you can work on something together-” Now she looked offended.

“What do you think I’m doing? This is why I citied you here, we’re meeting them in ten minutes to discuss it! And first I needed your stupid ass to explain your situation to me so we could have some ground but all you’ve done is daydream about God knows what!”

“Wait, what?!” he looked down at his sweatpants, and the semi-sweated t-shirt he’d worn to go to gym before the meeting, and he just knew his hair was a dishevel mess. He hadn’t even bothered with his contacts, so his glasses were stuck on his head unless he wanted to be as blind as a mole. He’d thought he’d only be meeting Delfi, and now- “she’s not coming, is she?”

“Who is ‘she’?” Delfi air-quoted, not getting why he was getting freaked out.

“Luna – Sol, she isn’t coming, right?”

Delfi scoffed. “Of course, she is! This is all about her, why wouldn’t she be here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he almost whined, jumping out of his chair to get his gym bag, and spray the shit out of his deodorant on his body. He didn’t have any hair gel, so his hair had to stay the same. He was really regretting not taking the time to fully showering before coming.

“Oh, so now you care about how you look at meetings?” He didn’t answer her, still busy with his gym bag. He was sure he had mints buried somewhere. “I take that you like this girl?” Matteo said nothing, but nodded the slightest. “I know the rumors aren’t true right now, but I really need you to tell me if you think they will. The earliest Gastón and I can come up with counterattacks to protect your privacy and hers, the better. Especially since her contract with her team will drop soon.” Delfi asked, her tone a lot softer and less teasing. She’d taken his wishes seriously, and he was very grateful about it. He was in good hands if shit ever hit the fan.

Matteo dropped his bag, and sighed a quiet ‘yes’. And then turned to her, louder this time, “I don’t want anything hurtful, insulting or degrading to be said about her. The less she’s mentioned, the better. If it means we must re-sign with them, and have them write me off as a playboy, then so be it. But not a bad word about her, Delfi.”

She smiled, her words comforting him a little. “If it’s in my hands both of you will be protected. Now, go tame your hair before your little star runs away from seeing it and turns into stone, medusa-boy.”

She was this close to picking up her phone.

The urge of checking her phone was eating her up but Luna was trying her best to avoid any type of interaction with social media in the last two nights, but it was proving to be harder than she imagined. After the news were out in the open she’d turned everything off; her phone, laptop, and tablet, burying them deep in one of Nina’s photography drawers so she wouldn’t be tempted to read her fan’s comments, or the articles magazines and newspapers were publishing on the web.

When her team called her early in the morning for a meeting, though, she knew something else had happened. They’d already discussed everything related to her retirement, and weren’t meant for another meeting for another three weeks, when she’d sign the remaining papers to break most of her commitments and contracts, with only the bigger ones left until she could find another lawyer outside of her management. Not that she didn’t trust them, but Mariano was more a “making business only” instead of “breaking business” type of lawyer.

“Still no news from Tamara?” She asked Nina beside her. Nina shook her head.

“She said she’d be meeting us there, to ask for Alzamendi and to not talk until Mariano and she were present.”

“Alzamendi?” She repeated, “does that sound familiar to you?”

“I think I might have an idea.” Nina admitted. Luna looked expectantly at her, urging her to tell her. “Pedro’s girlfriend, Delfina Alzamendi, is a head manager here.”

She frowned. “But she’s in the entertainment business, not in sports. Why would she cite us here?” Her eyes widened, “you don’t think…”

Nina shook her head rapidly. “No, no, no. Tamara’s better than that, she knows you don’t want to enter acting, she wouldn’t do that to you. I was thinking more that maybe one of Delfina’s clients could be involved.”

“But why would Ámbar contact me vía my manager? She has our house number, and Simón’s and yours.” Nina looked at her funny, confusing her. “What?”

“I’m not talking about Ámbar, L. I think this is about Matteo.”

His name made her scowl. She still hadn’t forgiven him for hanging up on her without an explanation, or a goodbye, and the guy had sent her to voice mail after she tried calling him back.

“He has my number too.” Not that he cared to use it again. Boys were stupid.

By now Nina looked amused, but grimaced after a moment. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“Seen what?”

Nina took her phone out of her purse, typed in her code and opened her phone’s browser. She was about to protest when she saw her type ‘sol benson matteo balsano’, but was quietened when Nina clicked on an article about Matteo being the reason she was retiring from skating.

“This. It started the morning you posted the news on Twitter and a fan replied saying you meant Matteo when you said you were following your heart. I think that’s why Delfina wants to talk to you and Tamara, because Matteo wasn’t left in the best position. People are crossing him as a controlling chauvinist.”

Luna was feeling dizzy. She had meant for the news to affect her only, but now she was dragging Matteo too. “People are saying this?”

“Mostly your fans, and uninvited activists, but yes.”

“He must hate me now, Nina.” She groaned, hiding her face with her hands. By now they were almost by the entrance desk, and a few of the people there stared her way.

“He couldn’t even if he tried, Luna, don’t worry.” Her friend cooed, squeezing her hand in comfort.

“His manager contacted mine, Nina. People don’t do that unless they’re strangers or you hate the other person.”

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

“He at least has to be mad. If anyone said I’m the reason they’re quitting their career I’d be too.”

“Maybe, but not mad at you. The people saying this are mostly gossipers and fans you have no control over, Luna, don’t worry.” She nodded a couple times, trying to calm herself and the unnecessary guilt she was feeling in that moment.

When she finally felt calm enough, she dragged her feet to the lady behind the desk, asking her politely where she was supposed to go. The lady’s eyes shone with recognition, before asking her who she was meeting with; as soon as she said ‘Alzamendi’, the woman’s grin could have rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“Miss Alzamendi and Mr. Balsano are waiting in room 7. Go straight that hallway and turn left on the first corner, it should be easy to spot it, the numbers are big enough; they’re still waiting for Mr. Périda, and your team, though. Is there anything I can get you both to drink? We have black coffee – black, decaf, with milk, vanilla latte and moka, tea – chamomile, green, lemon ginger and berry sangria, hot chocolate – sweet, bitter, Spanish, Mexican, white and raw, lemonades – strawberry, mango and mint, sodas-”

Luna blinked a couple times, surprised that a) they had so many options and b) they made their receptionist learn all of them.

“Uh, do you have water?” Nina asked, interrupting the woman before she went on to list all their available sodas. The receptionist shut up immediately, pursing her lips at Nina for a second before nodding, then she looked at her, expectantly.

“A Mexican hot chocolate would be nice, thank you.”

“Anything to eat? We have a couple of restaurants delivered to us, if you’re hungry.” Before she could refuse, Tamara’s voice was heard behind them.

“Luna!” She smiled politely at her manager, nodding in greeting to Mariano. “I’ll have a latte and the sir will have black coffee, no sugar, please.” The older woman addressed the receptionist, who simply wrote it down on a little notepad. Tamara didn’t bother to thank her before she was dragging Luna – and Nina, who was grabbing her hand- towards the hallway the lady had pointed out before. “Okay, so; Matteo Balsano’s manager called me yesterday and requested to have a meeting as soon as we possibly could, that’s why I called you last minute, sorry. Are you aware of the rumors going around of you two?” Luna begrudgingly nodded, “good, I don’t have to explain it, then. Alzamendi didn’t specify why she was requesting us, but my bet is on the news hurting Balsano’s image of the perfect guy.”

“That’s what Nina told me, too.” Tamara’s eyes flickered to Nina’s.

“Good.” That’s all she said before going back to explaining. “More likely than not, they’re pissed. It could be the boy, it could be his manager, it could be the label. Or a mix of all. We already broke all magazine deals, so there’s not much we can offer to clean his name. We’re betting on his team acting up and choosing to clean it up themselves, while praying they don’t leave you dirty at all. Mariano can make up an agreement with his lawyer to even out and make it fair for both.”

“Do you think Matteo’s capable of going as far as dirtying up Luna’s name?” She could tell Nina was worried, and already feeling protective of her. Tamara shook her head.

“He doesn’t strike me as the type, but we need to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.” She told them honestly, finally stopped walking in front of a door. Before they entered, though, she looked at Luna straight on. “Listen, munchkin, when you enter that door you need to forget whatever relationship you have with the guy.” She was about to protest, but Tamara shook her head. “Just until we know where we stand. And who we stand against, okay?” She merely nodded. “Good. Are we ready?”

Matteo was sure those had been the longest – yet quickest, because he spent most of them rushing to make himself more presentable- ten minutes of his life.

The door opened, and the corner of his mouth went up at the knowing he’d see her in seconds. When she didn’t acknowledge him, the smile fell. When she sat down on one of the chairs and kept her eyes on the table, he frowned.

Was she mad at him, at the situation they were in? Was she sad? What if it hadn’t been her decision? Could that be why she looked so… not herself?

He was about to go to her when Delfi stopped him. Matteo looked at her, questioning why she’d done it, but she sent him a look that said ‘quiet’.

“Delfina,” the woman – who was part of Luna’s team, if his guess was correct- greeted his manager, a tight smile on her face. Then she turned to him. “Mr. Balsano, nice to meet you.”

Delfi sent her a polite smile. “Tamara, Mariano, it’s always nice to see you again.” He could’ve sworn he heard the man say, ‘is it?’ under his breath. “Miss Benson, Miss Simonetti, long time no see.” Wait, she knew them?

Luna looked up from the table, throwing a quick ‘hello’ to her; her eyes flickering for the shortest time to his face, before turning down again. His frown deepened as Nina’s friend answered Delfi’s greeting, more enthusiast. “Hi, Delfi, it’s good to see you again, too. I wish it were under, uh, better circumstances, though.”

He could tell Delfina was amused at her words, if her mouth twitch was any indication. “Straight to the point, huh? Sadly, we’re waiting for Matteo’s lawyer to get here first.”

“Why isn’t he here yet?” the man asked rudely, disdain clear as water on his face. Matteo felt attacked by his tone, and jumped at Gaston’s defense.

“I’m not his only client, sorry not all of us can afford to have a clear schedule twenty-four-seven.”

Mariano raised his brows. “Ah, yes, you’re right. Real jobs keep you busy. My bad.”

Matteo scowled at him. “How would you know? You’re jobless now that your client is quitting her not so ‘real’ job, no?”

“Matteo.” Delfina warned him in a hiss, pinching his arm to keep him quiet. He noticed Luna’s blank look turning into a small grimace.

Mariano was about to retort when Luna’s manager grabbed his arm. “Don’t.” Then she turned to Delfi, “I think’s it’s for the better to start discussing the elephant in the room, sweetheart. You can always update your lawyer when he comes.”

Delfi pursed her lips at the nickname, but stood up with a nod. “Fine. I don’t think I have to explain why we’re here exactly.”

“You understand this is not Miss Benson’s fault, right? This was a matter taken out of context by their fans and the media.” The man’s tone wasn’t exactly condescending, but even Matteo felt like he was trying to teach Delfi how to do her job.

Still, Delfi remained as calm as she could. “We do, as I’m sure you understand your client’s choices shouldn’t taint my client’s image, no?”

“He’s as tainted as you can get them. Aren’t ‘playboy’, ‘heartthrob’, and ‘ladies man’ nice ways of saying man-whore?” Matteo heard small gasps around him, but he was too shocked at the insult to notice whose gasps were from. Mariano looked smug. “If anything, he is the reason they assume conclusions. If your client didn’t have the image he has, our client wouldn’t have linked to him in the first place.”

That was enough for his friend to snap. “If your client had been properly trained to do interviews without making a mess we wouldn’t be in this situation at all!”

“Those articles had died down until both your clients chose to approach ours at a public event knowing there would be photographers all over the place! How’s that for trained?”

“Enough, Mariano!” His partner shut him up. The woman had the decency of looking ashamed. Delfi and him, though? They were pissed. “I’m really sorry, guys. This is not at all what we came here for and I apologize for my-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Tamara.” Delfi interrupted her, “he does.”

Mariano pursed his lips, but spit out the apology anyway. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved just now.” Matteo clenched his jaw, moving his gaze to Luna, who looked mad, too. At whom, though, he didn’t know.

“As you know, all our news deals are broken. We have no control, or stance to negotiate with them anymore. So-”

“So, you want us to fix it for you? Is that it? Why should we, after the stunt your team just pulled?” Matteo almost growled, his anger rolling in waves through his body.

Tamara grimaced. “I was hoping we could make an agreement. I know we-” she pointed to Mariano and herself, “-haven’t behaved as we should. But this isn’t about us only.” She looked at Luna, whose frown and pursed lips were more evident now than before.

At last, she fixated her eyes on his.

“I’m not asking you to do anything for me.”

Matteo sighed out, “Luna-”

“No. Listen, if your image-” she scowled at the word, “- is so important to you I can ask Jazmín or someone else to interview me and I’ll tell them the truth.” Matteo almost choked up. Where was she getting at?

“The truth?” Delfi repeated, expectant.

Luna’s friend looked worried, now. “Lu- Sol, please-”

She looked at him, her eyes not wavering for a moment. “Y’know, that you’re not the reason of my decision. I’m sure your fans will be shocked to hear you’re not the center of my universe.”

“Luna, plea-” Nina tried to gain her attention, but she still didn’t move her gaze from him.

“And I’m sure they’ll be glad to know we’re not dating, much less friends.”

Had he been punched? He felt himself getting his breath knocked out of him. He barely heard her friend warning her. “Luna, stop. This isn’t you talking.”

“No, let her talk.” Matteo was proud he didn’t sound as hurt as he was feeling.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?” her sarcasm was throwing him off. Why was she mad about him not talking to her when she basically ignored him too? “Or do I have to wait another two weeks for you to answer me again?” Oh.

Oh.

“You’re mad abou-”

“Dude, no.” Was that…? When had Gastón arrived that he didn’t even notice? He felt his friend squeeze his shoulder, before palming it a couple times. “Don’t answer that, you’ll never win that argument.” He whispered, shaking his head in Luna’s direction. Then he turned to everyone in the room. “So, what did I miss?”

#soy luna #lutteo #luna valente #matteo balsano #my sl ff #my lutteo ff #soltteo #my sl au #queued bc uni

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