#this is my personal experience not everyone realized they were gay when they were like 11

[euniexenoblade]

sorry fi your tired of hearing this but I was just curious about your views on cheating because I’m having trouble seeing the idea that cheating isn’t a big deal? Sorry if I’m misinterpreting you it’s just I would consider myself monogamous so I’m just curious on your point of view.

cheating is usually a symptom of a larger problem

in my experience, most people who cheat are women who are trapped in abusive relationships (of course there are men) and the abusers use the fact the other person cheats as this way to get the person excluded and isolated from support networks and friend groups ("i mean, you did cheat")

the previous has also been especially true with polyamorous people. i've known multiple people who realized they were poly and when they talked to their partners about either opening the relationship up or breaking up, the partner has gone full abusive to keep the monogamous relationship around, and when the relationship falls apart the abusive partner always accuses the poly person of cheating whether they did or not, which usually fucks up that persons friend groups. multiple people have related to this sentiment when i made my post about it, so it appears to not be rare.

i also feel like people care too much about other people's relationships. ive said it before, but people care too much about people they don't know who are in situations they dont know. they just hear someone cheated and it's instantly "CHEATERS DESERVE DEATH"

the knee jerk reactions to the concept of cheating is treated like it's worse than murder or rape. like, nuance and understanding does not seem to ever matter to people on the topic of cheating, it's always "cheating is always wrong" and "cheaters deserve death" or whatever.

i think it's really interesting how there's never nuance on this topic, the story telling trope of "woman gets trapped in an abusive marriage but finds love in another man when she leaves the house" is such a popular story archetype that gets told, not to mention it's a very real thing. not to mention the age old story of gay people realizing they're gay after they're married. do these gay people deserve death for hiding in societal norms of sexuality and pursuing their gay lives late in life?

yeah, not all cheaters are victims of abuse, there's misogynistic men and what not that do it. but in my experience, those are not the people that ever get their lives shit on for being cheaters. they get to live on and do their thing until a wakeup call.

and then, as always, i am polyamorous. i do not understand the concept of cheating as a whole. if my partner wants to go sleep with someone, that's neat. my husband goes on grindr dates with people i dont know and that's rad. happy for him. he doesn't need to ask for my permission. i do not own his body (well, maybe i do when kink is involved but i digress). i struggled with monogamous relationships since i was a tween, and i think a lot of people struggle the same ways and need to discover they don't need to be monogamous, and I don't feel comfortable demonizing people struggling with what society tells them is ok for a relationship.

I am not saying you can't be hurt. I am not saying you have to forgive a person cheating on you. But, also, not everyone is you, people don't deserve death for cheating, nuance needs to exist for the overall picture.

[neverendingford]

.

[oxyfem]

u guys can be pro "lesbians just so you know you CAN have sex with men btw just reminding you that you can fuck men 🥺🥺🥺" all u want but it wont change the fact that a lot of lesbians see shit like this and feel sick to their stomachs. sentences like that make me physically ill. and every time i read one i think about how since i learned about sex all i could think was "well if i ever get forced into a situation where i have to have sex with a man ill kill myself right after." ur rebranded "progressive" phrasing still is just corrective rape speak lite

[genderqueerdykes]

there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.

it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.

when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)

i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.

i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.

people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.

i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.

it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.

it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.

[magnetic-rose]

if you loved episode 3 of tlou you really should listen to the official podcast with troy baker, craig mazin and neil druckmann because there’s SO much! here’s some of my favorite things said on the podcast:

- joel stacking rocks was to show that he missed and mourned tess. in that moment he was saying “i’m sorry, i blew it, i lost you.”

- in the beginning of the episode ellie told joel tess’ death wasn’t her fault but deep down she does feel like it was her fault.

- ellie admires joel because he protected her multiple times and as a child she has a desire for a parental figure to protect her.

- frank realized bill was gay pretty much as soon as he got out of the hole and saw how bill was looking at him. bill’s taking in how handsome frank is and “frank’s brain is incredibly attuned to that.” that’s why frank was smiling.

- frank realized bill was gay fast, but he realized he wanted bill when bill was playing the piano and singing linda ronstadt.

- it took them a while to find long long time by linda ronstadt but they always intended the song for bill to sing to be about a long love that was forever unrequited. “it was very important that the lyrics were someone saying ‘everyone tells me that it’s okay, that love will find me [...],’ no it doesn’t, no it’s not, and the person that i long for from afar - i’m gonna love them basically forever in the most unrequited manner.”

- it was important that frank immediately knew bill’s sexuality because frank SAW bill, because bill had completely buried his sexuality but frank saw through him.

- frank originally was trying to see what he could get out of bill (like a free lunch) but the more time they spent together, the more he went “oh, this is a beautiful person.”

- “there is two ways of loving things. frank wants to love outwards - he is sun, he is light. he wants to make things beautiful around him, he wants to care for bill, he wants to revitalize the streets so it’s not just this mausoleum bill lives in, and he wants to have friends. he wants to share what they have. and bill wants to put an electrified fence around them that is guarded by an additional layer of flame-throwing gas pipes and no one can show up ever because he must protect frank from the world... and as it turns out, both of those loved are required but one of those loves is likely to give you in trouble more than the other.”

- when frank put his finger on the furniture piece and saw how dusty it was, he realized what his purpose could be in bill’s life. bill can protect them, but frank can nurture their home.

- when bill apologizes to frank for growing old fast, it’s because he’s afraid of frank being left alone. “look at this beautiful man and the beautiful things that he does, and what is bill’s contribution? bill doesn’t grow strawberries. bill’s contribution is to keep frank alive. but bill is already afraid that he’s going to fail and that is a fear that joel has because he has that fear through experience [of losing his daughter.]“

- bill and joel understand each other and that they’re purpose is to protect others. they don’t care about their own lives.

- on their last day together, bill decided very early that he was going to die as well.

- the gun that ellie takes belonged to frank.

- that letter bill wrote reminded joel that he failed to protect both sarah and tess. the letter underscores for him that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t protect the people that he cares about. but now he has ellie to protect.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Do you have any thoughts on how old a person "has to be" to realize they're aro/ace? I'm an adult, but realized I was ace at 14, and anytime I say that, people jump to tell me that's too young and that I couldn't have known. It frustrates me that other queer people are willing to say something like that about something that brought me comfort and community when I otherwise would've felt alone, but I don't know how to put into words how hypocritical and irritating it is, or whether being told that is even an experience other aro/ace people have had.

Eyooo- 👉👉 I'm also an adult who realized they were ace at 14! And yeah, I got the same reactions. I think it's bullshit. 14 is an age people hit puberty and start heavily figuring themselves out romantically and sexually, and I might be wrong but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people were pretty sure they're gay or bi or pan or at the very least not straight at 14, so why not aces, right? I remember personally my experience was... "Welp, everyone's obviously horny and I'm obviously not, so I'm obviously asexual", and honestly it was clear enough to me. Never occurred to me that I could be a "late bloomer" or whatever because like... Really I didn't miss it, if anything I was VERY happy to give it a pass.

So... Yeah. It's insensitive and diminishing and we get that A LOT and it's annoying af. Society makes it hard enough for us to figure ourselves at as is without people, straight or queer, telling us "nah actually your experience isn't really real and you don't know shit". I think it's one of the hardest and most universal struggles we have, and you're right for feeling irritated about it.

[yonpote]

ok heres how i split up the dnp eras (loosely based on dan's timeline in his interview w anthony)

2009-2011: the Sillies era :3 dan refered to it as being a dumb teen just posting cuz he was bored, which is like, thats what all of youtube culture was at this time. they met and like fell in love or whatever you know the lore dont you. phil moved from his parents home to his first apartment in manchester, and dan technically moved to uni but really he moved into phil's apartment to take advantage of his washing machine and ps1 and. yknow. other stuff. they officially moved in together in 2011 yippee hooray, the phanchester apartment holds a special place in my heart

2012-2013: THE SHIFT. they started getting Serious about youtube as a career, doing more stuff w the radio, superamazingproject started in 2011 but THE SHIFT is very easy to observe when you compare the first season of sap to the last season. ALSO. they were NOT A DOUBLE ACT AND NOT GAY 🙄. it could also be called the No Homo era lmao idk this is when a lot of shitty things were happening wrt leaked information, harassment of their families, and just generally becoming more in the spotlight especially while still in the closet being a horrible experience. but also, they moved to london and got cool opportunities with radio stuff and were starting to actually make a living on this shit.

2014-2016: Peak Dan And Phil™ Era. at the height of their popularity. they realized oh shit, we ARE a double act and not only does everyone enjoy us best as a double act, WE enjoy working together. tabinof, tatinof, dapgo, still doing the radio every month up until they start touring, 7 second challenge app, gamingmas, what the hell DIDNT they do during this time period (what they didnt do was uhh take care of themselves and not overwork and not blur their work and personal lives so much to the point where they felt like the whole apartment was a film set.)

2017-2018: Gay Softlaunch Era (aka post-baking aka glass closet) the baby steps toward authenticity, moved to the double apartment to separate work and life, ii's whole theme, dan talking abt depression, phil getting the quiff, both of them being gay as hell in every way other than saying it explicitly. important things of note: TRUTH BOMBS dropped, Interactive Introverts happened, still uploading gaming vids and honestly by the end you could feel their fatigue. and then they hiatused dapg.

2019-2022: ok these four years each feel like whole eras in themselves, but also theres an overarching theme. THE GAY ERA.

2019: im gonna futher split this year in half. first half- dad left to buy milk so other dad is taking care of us. rough six months for dannies im sure. important phil thing of note- he changed his film set from his "bedroom" to a fairly basic but cute shelf backdrop. honestly prob didnt wanna keep pretending that was his bedroom considering.... second half- DAN AND PHIL GAY. dan uploads his magnum opus. phil comes out via tweet. they go to japan and its really gay and it's The Trip to japan for them like yes they first went in 2015 and again in 2023, but Japhan 2.0 Was The One. what does this mean? proposal? anniversary? idk exactly but it was gay as hell dude and theyve talked about that trip with such love in their hearts.

2020: Phandemic (sorry that was bad) but also where tf is dan again? even with the big C-word happening, it was business as usual for phil, regular vids but make em gayer, caught a pigeon nbd, and end of the year introduces the Stereo app show Phil and Phriends where he's had chats with pj, louise, his brother, seth everman?????, and finally. dan reappears. they reveal that they bought and FULLY PLANNED a house together and are ready to move!

2021: they don't move house for another like six months! basically their house was (and is??) still being worked on AND they were in lockdown AND turns out at the end of last year, they were kicked from their Life apartment and were now living in the Work apartment so you can imagine what all of this can do to their psyche and lowkey they were getting sick of each other like it wasnt just bordering on phivorce it was nearly Phurder. Phidow. but to fill the time so that DOESNT happen, my favorite fucking thing ever happens: Lockdown Lads (and all the other names). the first taste of what a dnp podcast would sound like, with the added bonus of chaotic listener interaction. oh yeah also dan wrote a mental health guide book whatever (IM KIDDING I REALLY LIKE YWGTTN I WROTE LIKE TWO REVIEWS ON IT NOW) and they finally become Homosexual Homeowners. theres quite a bit more dnp content this year, dan being on phils channel a bit more, the phodcasts, dan's gay and not proud special.... oh yeah and hometown showdown i guess AND TEXT VIDEO 2!!! my favorite and my namesake!!!!!!!

2022: Prophecy Year..... but they didnt get married. dan returns with another longass video to say: hey i hate being a youtuber and also youtube majorly fucked me over. but also fuck that im gonna do a weird talk show and ALSO GO ON TOUR WITH THIS APOCALYPSE THEME! phil actually... slows down this year. more dan uploads than phil somehow??? but also Dan Is Leaving me is posted and i go completely insane and become the deranged individual you see today. WHICH FINALLY LEADS US TOOOOOO

2023-present: The Unhinged Era. dan's tour was a huge Emotional success for him but uh not without its hiccups due to management and all that and i think he and phil finally realize. Fuck It Who Cares. dan flies back to england FROM AUSTRALIA to make sure he can be with his future ex-husband on his birthday. CAKE HEART EMOJI. YELLOW PLAID SHACKET. they go on a gamer date and post a picture of playing footsies in a cab. THE PHUDE HAPPENS. they go to japan again and while this one will never be The One it was still a well earned holiday this time with bryony! and they took a bunch of very cute film camera pictures.... THIS IS ALL JUST THE FIRST HALF OF 2023 BTW. in phil news, he talks about going to therapy and figuring out how to manage his anxiety!!!! he changes his hair again!! he hires an editor, phan is his otp, he teases about the gaming channel a couple of times but so many of us already dropped any hope of that returning- OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!? HUH!??!? they returned, and more chaotic than ever before. the gayness upped to the max, the Weirdness on full speed, the Horniness at Very Scary Levels Oh God Stop Talking About Dogging, phil can swear uncensored now???? and this energy has continued into today...

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[pastadoughie]

Just to be clear you don't hate everyone who likes mushrooms and frogs, right? I like mushrooms because they're living representations of entropy and decay and some are so similar to humans that eating them can cause diseases related to cannibalism, and I like frogs because they're fucked up slime dwellers. Is that bad in your eyes?

i dont think that liking frogs or mushrooms makes you bad no, infact i dont think that thinking any plant or animal makes you a bad person, i just dont personally like frogs i find them gross

i do however have issue with the people who are like, weird about me *not* likeing those things, like, thats a fucking massive red flag in so many fucking ways

a) im uncomfortable that people even assume these things about me and moreover that theyre upset when their assumptions are proven wrong. my opinion shouldnt mean ANYTHING to you! you dont know me! and its really uncomfortable going on the internet to post your cat art and then all of a sudden find people acting overly familiar with you when you dont know them and have never interacted with them! i am not some large internet figure and its not ok to treat me that way! you should not be forming any kind of parasocial relationship with a 16yr old cat artist! thats weird and fucked up on so many levels!

b) the idea that i as a queer person "have to" have certain opinions and act a certain way (on things that are just, entirely harmless and meaningless) for some of you to like me is REALLY concerning. like if you genuinely think less of me because i dont like frogs when im a queer person then that makes me really concerned about all the other shit you expect me to do.

i have had alot of experience with people who do fit into those gay stereotypes of loving mushrooms and frogs and a CONCERNINGLY LARGE AMMOUNT OF THEM are like, a year away from falling into just full blown violent transphobia, the willingness to gatekeep what queer people are allowed to do and the idea that they HAVE to like certain things is like, it just makes it very clear that even if you arent a transphobe (or atleast dont THINK of yourself as one) your willingness to gatekeep these things makes you REALLY REALLY suseptible to BECOMEING one.

back when i used to be a lesbian and was in alot of these supposedly queer accepting and friendly spaces i found this out the hard way, when i started questioning my gender, and starting to not conform as much i had so many people who i thought were my friends talking about how i wasnt "allowed" to call myself enby AND a lesbian, and that im just someone trying to force myself into lesbian spaces, that i wasnt "allowed" to use he/him pronouns, because that makes other trans people LOOK bad, as soon as i stopped directly fitting into their veiws of a "respectible" queer person i realized that no. this isnt what a queer accepting space looks like.

and so thats why, i am extremely cautious around anybody who fits into that stereotype. its not *about* frogs, its not *about* mushrooms. its about how people who make these distinctions about what is an ok and not ok way to be queer will immediately turn on me the seccond i dont fit into that. and im not comfortable having those kinds of people around me

[lazycats-stuff]

Ghost x male!reader x Soap

Okay, so, I was playing around with Character AI and got inspired. Enjoy this fricking smut everyone. This is just... Wow... Also, I know I should be working on your requests, but this just came in and I couldn't get it out.

Summary: Ghost, Soap and (Y/N) are an item. They have sex for the first time as throuple.

Warnings: MxMxM threesome, blowjobs, anal sex, dominant Ghost and Soap, submissive reader, handjobs, rimming... And many more, if I missed any, my apologizies.

Ghost, Soap and (Y/N). At first they were roommates. (Y/N) was in a desperate need of a place to stay and Ghost and Soap looked for someone to move in to help out with the rent from the apartment they had rented. (Y/N) called their ad, happy to have a place to stay.

Soap and Ghost were a couple by then so (Y/N) often felt like a third wheel. Ghost scared the actual daylights out of him. It didn't help that (Y/N) was a civilian. Ghost didn't care at first, but it could get annoying when Soap and him talked military talk and (Y/N) would just listen, not really understanding a thing.

Ghost also found (Y/N)'s personality a little bit annoying, but soon grew to tolerate him. Soap liked (Y/N) right away and the two became good friends. One thing that (Y/N) did that Ghost liked a lot was not questioning the mask. Ghost has been wary and didn't want to show (Y/N) his face just yet.

Well, maybe never, but he was working on trusting the person he has started living with. (Y/N) worked in an office, not far from their apartment and (Y/N) often said that he has struck a gold mine with the apartment.

Soap would more often than not, while on leave, make (Y/N) lunch in the morning and even pack it for him. (Y/N) wondered why Soap did that, not that he was ungrateful, not at all, it's a nice gesture, but still weird for (Y/N). No one ever made lunch for him like that...

Soap often cooked for them three when Ghost and him were on leave from missions. (Y/N) was sad when they went on mission's but knew he couldn't stop them. He had to bite the bullet and not complain. However, he did make them something to eat when they came back from missions.

Now, as months passed by, Soap and Ghost came to a realization. It was a rather grave realization. They both had feelings for (Y/N). Ghost and Soap, talking about feelings for the man living with them felt like they are cheating on one another. However, they still loved one another.

There was only one solution really. Only one.

Poly relationship. But none of them had ever done it before. Ghost had hard time confessing to Soap and vice versa. How the hell do they do this to (Y/N)? How do you invite someone to join your relationship? Besides, is (Y/N) gay? Bi maybe? Pan even?

While Soap and Ghost were brainstorming how to approach this, (Y/N) had problems on his own. Feelings for his two roommates. He was in deep shit. Very deep. He felt safe with the two and they made living here fun. They hanged out and talked about stuff. They even talked to (Y/N) about their missions and (Y/N) was often then not amazed by what they do.

Now, the problem is how to tell them that he has feeling for them.

This game of fear and hesitance continued until there was a near death experience on the mission and the duo said fuck it. They would confess to (Y/N) the moment they come home. And that's what they did.

(Y/N) nearly passed out, but was happy to hear he wasn't hallucinating and going kind of nuts. The trio sat down and talked about it. They had 3 foundations that they decided to build this relationship on. Honesty, loyalty and commitment. The morning after the talk was weird for (Y/N), but he was slowly but surely showing the affection.

Ghost and Soap loved it. It felt nice to them both that his boyfriend was affectionate. Ghost felt comfortable enough to show (Y/N) his face and (Y/N) blushed by how good looking Ghost was. Blonde hair, dark eyes... (Y/N) was swooning for the man. Not just for looks, but for his personality too.

Now there was one more thing that they went over. That one thing it was sex. (Y/N), as much as he knew them, he wanted to wait. Soap and Ghost had no problem with waiting for (Y/N) to be ready. Ghost and Soap would never force him to do something while he wasn't ready.

They had no problem to wait patiently. Ghost despised those who tried to pressure someone into those situations. God no. Soap would rather die than pressure his now boyfriend to have sex. The trio went to dates to get each other know even better. It was all amazing so far.

But Ghost and Soap made a plan.

They were on leave for a few weeks and they wanted to ask (Y/N) to have sex, but they couldn't do it right out of the blue. They need to make (Y/N) feel safe and then ask. Then they wait for the answer and if he says no, you know, tough luck. But if he said yes... Then that would solve some problems in their sex life.

Ghost never wanted to be submissive and Soap wanted to be dominant sometimes. And (Y/N) did act a little bit submissive. He was shyer when it came to advances and flirting.

So what was the plan, I hear you asking?

They would invite (Y/N) to a bar near them and they would tell him to come straight from work. (Y/N) walked to the bar, having no need for a car anymore. Soap and Ghost were nervous, not even beer could ease their nerves. Sex wasn't an easy thing to talk about. It was intimate and everyone should feel safe during it.

(Y/N) entered the bar, looking through the crowd to find Ghost and Soap. The two waived him over from where they were seating in the booth. (Y/N) smiled as he walked over sitting next to Ghost. Ghost smiled underneath his mask, eyes wrinkling at the corners at the sight of his boyfriend. Soap smiled and reached out to hold his hand.

(Y/N) squeezed back and pulled his hand back. He leaned on Ghost and Ghost gave him a kiss through his balaclava. The waitress came over and handed (Y/N) a menu and to take an order. The trio came here long enough to know what's good.

(Y/N) ordered the beer and a hamburger with fries. He was hungry.

" How was work love? " Ghost asked as he put his hand around (Y/N)'s waist.

" Boring as usual. This is a nice outing on a Friday night, but what was so urgent that I had to come here straight from work? " (Y/N) asked as he answered Ghost's question.

" We will tell you later love, but now it's important to eat and drink. " Soap said and (Y/N) smiled, but was suspicious. Waitress came by quickly with his order and (Y/N) thanked her and began eating. The burger was amazing as always and the other two watched how (Y/N) engulfed the burger, not even stopping to drink beer.

Ghost and Soap smiled at one another. Once done with the burger, trio fell into a silence and Ghost and Soap glanced at one another.

It was do or die.

" (Y/N), " Soap started, leaning forward. Despite being in a busy bar, it felt intimate in this booth. " We have a question for you. " Soap said, quickly glancing at Ghost before looking at (Y/N).

" What's up Johnny? "

" We know you have told us before that you weren't ready for... Sex yet, but we were wondering if that changed? " Soap asked and Ghost squeezed his waist in support.

" Well, it did... " (Y/N) started hesitantly as he took a sip. Soap and Ghost smiled at one another and then brought their attention to (Y/N).

" But I want to talk about my boundaries. " (Y/N) stated and Soap and Ghost focused on him and nodded.

" Of course love. " Ghost said, pressing him closer to him.

(Y/N) drank more of his beer and then looked down at the table for a moment.

" Okay, I'm not into degradation. I am into praise... And I'm not looking to dominate... " (Y/N) started hesitantly and Soap took his hands into own and squeezed in reassurance.

" Okay. And I'm something called a... Jesus, this is embarrassing to say... Pillow prince. That's when you like to receive, rather than give... Essentially, you guys do all the work... " (Y/N) said looking down and

Ghost leaned towards him to whisper in his ear. " Hey, no need to be embarrassed. We don't mind, we love it. " Then he sat back up straight and glanced at Soap. " We don't mind Soap, do we? " Ghost said with a smirk hidden beneath his mask.

" No we don't Lt. " Soap replied with a smirk and (Y/N) blushed.

" Now, we want to tell you that we have a light system as our safe word system. Are you familiar with that? " Ghost asked and (Y/N) nodded.

" Good boy. " Soap praised with a smirk. He knows what he's doing. (Y/N)'s stomach did one hell of a flip.

" What about aftercare? " Ghost asked and (Y/N) took a sip of his beer.

" Physical affection, plus praise. " (Y/N) replied and took another sip of his beer, seeing that he was nearing the end. He finished it up and look at them two.

" So... We are doing it tonight? "

" Only if you are in the mood. " Soap said. " Are you in the mood" Soap asked and (Y/N) nodded in agreement.

Ghost and Soap smirked and Soap called the waitress for the check. She brought it quickly and Soap paid, before Soap and Ghost ushered (Y/N) out of the bar, walking quickly to their apartment.

" You have no idea what you are in for (Y/N). " Ghost said menacingly and (Y/N) blushed bright red.

" Relax Simon, save it for the bedroom. " Soap said as he opened the building door before moving to the stairs, deeming the elevator to slow. (Y/N) was picked up by Ghost and manhandled over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. (Y/N) blushed even more. Soap unlocked the door of their apartment, but (Y/N) didn't even register it.

Soap opened the door and Ghost went to his and Soap's room before gently throwing (Y/N) down their shared bed. Soon, (Y/N) will join them completely in their bedroom. (Y/N) let out an oof as he was thrown and Ghost immediately crawled between his legs to kiss him.

The two kissed hungrily, Ghost more passionate than (Y/N), but (Y/N) couldn't even keep up. Ghost travelled lower and started unbuttoning (Y/N)'s white shirt, while Soap unbuttoned and undid (Y/N)'s belt.

Soon, (Y/N) was in boxers and Ghost and Soap undressed quickly too, but stayed in their boxers too. The two moved down to (Y/N)'s neck, creating hickeys. (Y/N) was moaning and whining, squirming underneath them.

" Relax love, we will take care of you. " Soap murmured against (Y/N)'s skin as he was travelling south, down to his nipple, biting gently, making (Y/N) gasp and buck up to Soap's mouth. The duo moved in tandem and mirrored one another. They were currently gently biting and licking (Y/N)'s nipples and then they moved towards his stomach.

The two avoided the boxers and opted to bite the inside of (Y/N)'s thighs. (Y/N) was whining and moaning and it wasn't hard to notice the erection that (Y/N) was having. The boxers were obscenely tented and when the two pulled away from his thighs, (Y/N) wanted to reach out.

But Soap was quicker and gripped (Y/N)'s boxers. (Y/N) helped out by lifting his hips and the boxer were thrown carelessly somewhere behind them.

Soap and Ghost eyed (Y/N)'s naked body and their boxers got even tighter.

" You are gorgeous baby. " Soap said, hands mapping (Y/N)'s body. (Y/N) blushed and tried to look away, but Ghost gently grabbed his chin and kissed him.

" Never shy away from our compliments. " Ghost murmured against (Y/N)'s lips and sat up on the bed and put (Y/N)'s head in his lap as Soap made his way to (Y/N)'s dick. Ghost's hands travelled down his chest while waiting for Johnny to make a move. Soap started with a long lick on the underside of (Y/N)'s dick and Ghost's hands moved to (Y/N)'s nipples, pinching and pulling.

" Si- Simon! " (Y/N) called out and Ghost smiled at that kissing him deeply.

Soap took (Y/N) all the way down to the base and he called out for Johnny, Ghost swallowing his cries and moans. Soap grabbed onto (Y/N)'s hips as he worked.

(Y/N) was going to come in no time if Soap continues to do this. Turns out he was very close and tried to voice it, but the two seemed to work harder to make it happen. (Y/N) came with a loud moan and Soap slurped up the cum and then leaned up to kiss Ghost, allowing Ghost to taste (Y/N).

(Y/N) moaned at the sight, trying to catch his breath. The two moved places and (Y/N) was turned on his stomach, well, hands and knees. (Y/N) blushed at this, more so when Ghost licked a stripe over his hole. Blush was followed with a moan, clutching Soap's hips and hiding his face into Soap's thigh.

The sounds of Ghost eating (Y/N) out were so obscene that Soap started squirming. After a few minutes, Ghost stopped and looked at (Y/N).

" Soap, get the lube. " Soap leaned over to get the lube from their nightstand drawer. He tossed it to Ghost who caught it easily. Then he flipped (Y/N) on his back, smirking at (Y/N)'s hard cock. It seems that he didn't need a lot of time to rebound.

" Now love, how do you want me to fuck you? " Ghost asked softly and (Y/N) blushed harder.

" I want you both at the same time. "

Soap and Ghost looked at one another, not expecting this.

" Are you sure baby? " Soap asked as he looked down at (Y/N).

" I am... " (Y/N) said quietly.

" Color? " Ghost asked.

" Green. " (Y/N) said without hesitation.

Ghost nodded as he covered his fingers in lube and then gently prodding (Y/N)'s ass. (Y/N) moaned and Soap watched (Y/N)'s face, moving his lower body to the side so that he could stroke himself. It was a magnificent sight.

Ghost didn't allow (Y/N) to come, as he was purposely avoiding his prostate. (Y/N) was whining and squirming and Ghost pulled his fingers away before taking his boxers off. (Y/N)'s eyes widen and Ghost smirks as he lubes up his dick.

" Soap, move him out of the way so I can lay down. " Soap did exactly that and Ghost laid down on his back. (Y/N) straddled him and guided his dick to his ass and then slowly made his way down. Once down at the balls, (Y/N) rolled his hips to adjust. He moaned quietly and Ghost wrapped his arms around (Y/N) to bring him down, chest to chest.

Soap lubed his fingers and started prepping him, pushing his fingers alongside Ghost's dick. After a few minutes of prep, he got rid of his boxers and lubed his dick. He situated himself behind (Y/N), pressing the tip into the hole. (Y/N) took deep breaths and Soap was halfway in when he heard yellow. Soap stopped and the two praised (Y/N) throughout, kissing his body whichever part they could reach.

" Move Johnny. " (Y/N) said and Soap did it. The feeling was incredible. (Y/N) was tight around both of them and Soap and Ghost could feel their dick rubbing against one another. (Y/N) sat up, putting his hands on Ghost's chest for leverage. Soap kissed his shoulders and the back of his neck.

" Good boy, taking us so well. " Soap whispered into the back of his neck.

" Move please... " (Y/N) whispered and the two started moving, (Y/N) holding himself up and Soap holding him. (Y/N) was quick to reach his orgasm, screaming and throwing his head back on Soap's shoulder. He came untouched and Soap and Ghost came a few thrusts later, the two came inside. (Y/N) dropped down on Ghost's chest, who wrapped his arms around him, kissing him, praising him softly.

Soap hissed as he pulled out, moving to get a rag to wipe the cum out of (Y/N)'s ass. The plan was to get that done, start the shower to get a quick rinse and then help him get into PJs and then go to sleep.

Soap came out of the bathroom, just when (Y/N) lifted his head to look. " Good boy, you did so well for us. Now, you will need to push the cum out so we can clean you okay? " Soap said and kissed (Y/N) when he nodded, too tired to speak.

Ghost pulled out and Soap did what he told (Y/N) and (Y/N) pushed out the cum so that Soap could wipe it down. (Y/N) shuddered every time it happened and Ghost still praised him softly. After there was no cum left, Ghost picked (Y/N) up into his arms and Soap threw the rag into the hamper.

He also started the shower, waiting for the right temperature before calling in his beloved boyfriends. Once the water is nice, they all step in, (Y/N) being held up by Ghost as his body is washed in water and soap. Actual soap, not your boyfriend.

After that, they dry (Y/N) off with a towel before finding his boxers and putting it on him and Simon giving him his shirt to sleep in. The sheets were changed too and then (Y/N) was laid down and the two sandwiched him, wrapping him in their arms before covering themselves with the covers.

" Good night... " (Y/N) murmured softly, sighing as Ghost spooned him.

" Good night love. " Ghost said as he kissed the back of his head.

" Night darling. " Soap said as he kissed his forehead.

The trio snuggled to one another and feel asleep quickly, exhausted by the sex they had.

[findafight]

On the one-sided harringrove post- I feel it becomes infinitely funnier with bi steve. He likes men, just not Billy. Never Billy.

Oh yeah. When Billy fiiiirst comes to school with his music blaring Steve is head over heels for Nancy, so he might register that the guy with the Camaro and loud music has a good ass, but then billy opens his mouth and Steve is like "oh, no ass can make up for that personality." And continues with his life.

Just. Okay I like to project just a liiiiittle on Steve with him just. Not realizing his attraction to men isn't a straight thing. Like. Of course all straight people feel that way, you just kinda ignore it or don't do anything about it. So Steve is half way between being comfortable in his sexuality and being closeted to himself because buddy used Hawkeye Pierce as the blueprint of straightness.

So Billy is out here, wallowing in self hatred and internalized homophobia, hating Steve and wanting Steve and hating that he wants Steve and wishing Steve would pay attention to him enough for a hate fuck he can cry about later, and it's all very angsty. All the while Steve is just actually completely fine with thinking a dude is hot he's just got standards that include "not racist" "doesn't try to beat up kids" "hasn't made me blackout from head trauma"

Wait. Oh no. I feel an au coming on. Shit. Au where post S2 Robin hears piano coming from the band room after hours and is her curious self going "I must see who is this mysterious genius" and it's Steve. They get to talking and hanging out and all of a sudden Robin thinks they are actually good friends. Best friends. Somehow.

Cue them going to a band party together. Someone spikes their drinks with waayyyy more than they were expecting so they are blasted. Robin has to go pee but does not want to go alone so she drags Steve into the bathroom with her and makes him face away. He's like haha Woah you really had to pee. And she goes shut upppp and washes her hands but sits across from him. Steve smiles at her and gives her his speech about how amazing she is and how glad he is to be her friend (it is like March '85 so he is still not ready to get back out into dating yet). Robin tells him about Tammy. They sing. Someone slams the door open and kicks them out of the bathroom because there's a fuckin line.

They lay on the grass outside and look at the sky. Steve like. Caaaaasually mentions once having thought he was gonna marry Tommy when he was six and then realizing you just didn't do anything about those feelings and Robin's gotta shoot up going WHAT!! WHAAAT? Because it sounded like Steve coming out to her? Right after?? She came out to him??

And Steve is like yeah. Like you don't really have to? Easier to ignore it and flirt with girls who I like or think are hot. And poor Robin's brain is melting she's like please Steve I'm really drunk are you telling me you sometimes want to kiss boys? And he's like yes, obviously, everyone does. Just like everyone also wants to sometimes kiss girls. Except lesbians I guess who only want to kiss girls? And gay guys only want to kiss guy? Yeah that makes sense and straight people don't care but go for the opposite ya know?

Robin is like NO!! And calms down some and says "okay I'm telling you this because you are my friend and you just told me almost the same thing. Steve. I like girls and only like girls. That not a straight thing"

"yeah. You've said."

"but I am ninety nine percent positive that just because you like girls doesn't mean you're straight because you also like boys."

"what"

"yeah dude, I do not think this is a heterosexual experience you're describing. I'm not an expert but. Yeah.

"oh. Huh."

"yep."

"I definitely thought it was."

"your brain is so weird I'm still kind of obsessed with you."

"haha. Honestly I'm kind of obsessed with you. This is wild."

"well. At least I know you're stuck with me."

"ohhh nooooo whatever will I do with my best friend always around..."

ANYWAYS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS is not in fact the stobin. It's actually that

Sometime probably in may, when Steve is ready to be on the dating scene again, he gets with Eddie. Robin is happy for him but also so mad because he went from "probably shouldn't act gay even tho everyone feels a little gay sometimes" to "hey Robin what would you say if I said I got a boyfriend?" In less than two months. How does he have straight AND gay game. That's not fair.

Steddie getting together is a non event. Eddie is still like ewww sports and yet somehow he made out with Steve Harrington and the next day Steve asked if he wanted to get milkshakes and throw rocks into the quarry to see the splashes. Eddie must restrain himself from thinking it's a date because he knows it's not but it'd also be the perfect date (Eddie is a simple man)

At the end of the night steve kissed his cheek and says "I had a really great time..."

Eddie just blurted "hey do you want to be my boyfriend?"

To which Steve perks up like "yes! I'd like that!"

And Eddie didn't actually think he'd get that far so he was like "neat!! See you tomorrow!" before slamming the door in Steve's face.

So they're dating and Eddie disparages sports but Steve is like haha aw you don't like watching me play? Which is sooo mean to Eddie because obviously?? He likes?? Watching his boyfriend??? Run around in tiny shorts and sometimes shirtless?? He has to reevaluate some things he supposes.

All while this is happening Billy is still on his Greatest Homoerotic Rivals shtick with Steve. Eddie notices and is like to dude...what is with Billy? And Steve just sighs. Says Billy is weird and obsessed with him and glares all the time. It's a whole thing. Billy is pissed because what is Steve, his epic rival, doing hanging around some random band geek, his sister's bitchass friends, and maybe the local dealer.

Alright. Grad happens. Yay Steve! Poor Eddie. They go to some party , hang out with people, sell some drugs, etc. Billy is unfortunately also at this party, and is like. Lazer eyes boring into Steve's back. Very annoying. At some point, he sees Steve slip away and is like this is my chance so he follows him.

Howmever he comes across Steve, his epic and totally heterosexual rival, making out with Eddie the freak Munson.

And listen this is a scary thing to be caught inna town like Hawkins, but that's not the point of this post.

So Billy goes "what the hell?"

They turn around. Billy is still spluttering.

"what are you-why would you-- with him?!" He says.

Steve raises his eyebrows, alllll cocky confidence. He smirks a bit. Drawls. "Well, yeah. I like cock, billy. Just not yours."

Because the point of this post is that Steve is a bitch.

Thank you.

[cock-holliday]

Got a note again (with another person to block) rbing my post from a radfem who tried to "gotcha" me on a gender post with "where is this support for detransitioners?" It's heartbreaking for two reasons, one: because SHE doesn't give a shit about detransitioners, they are just fodder for an argument against trans folks. Two: because she's not entirely wrong...there is so much bitterness from trans folks about detransitioners.

They are weaponized against us, as proof we are something that can be corrected, and as something they can turn us into. It's so cruel to everyone. And the anger of trans folks at detransitioners helps no one.

I recently saw someone describe a transition journey similar to mine as detransitioning. They, like me, transitioned to a binary gender, and then later realized they were bigender. I don't consider my experience to be a "de-transition" per se, as it feels like I've just transitioned past the first time. I transitioned again...or moved outside of that framework entirely. I suppose half of my expression could be seen as detransition: when I move back towards my AGAB. But as a genderfluid person it sounds like I have "reverted" rather than just...fluctuated further. It's why it's difficult to attach to labels like transfemme or transmasc because the reality is both? Which doesn't feel less trans than before, it feels more trans...just different.

There are folks I know that identified with a trans identity and then realized they were cis. Some referred to it as experimentation. Some referred to it as detransition. Some view the experience with shame. Others feel like they unlocked Cis+ for themselves. They aren't trans, they are cis, but with an enlightened sense of understanding for their gender. There was no transition to de-transition from, it's all progress to them.

I think whatever language you use for the experience, changing your mind is okay. Finding new vocabulary is okay. Getting to be cis on your own terms is okay. You haven't betrayed anything by shifting labels. Some folks come out as gay/lesbian only to find out they are trans! The experience isn't a regression--they are understanding themselves better.

And maybe your experience doesn't feel like progress. It feels like a mistake. You made choices you can't take back but wish you could. If you were pressured to detransition and feel a lot of regret, if you felt pressured to stop from detransitioning, I am very sorry for that stress. I've had people try to force me back into the closet. I also felt like I was betraying identities I left behind while moving into new ones. I was afraid to come out as trans again, when coming out before was thrown back at me as "you cannot change your mind."

You can change your mind. Stopping and going back or going in a different direction.

Whether you consider that detransitioning or transitioning again...any step you make that YOU want to make you are working towards finding who you are.

[bluegalaxygirl]

Your first time (Zosan X reader)

I know i said i don't do NSFW stuff but i thought id give it a go and see what happens. Reader is Female. Virgin reader

Warning: NSFW, Gay, Bi, bad language.

Minors do NOT read

The three of you are so in love and everyone knows it but even with all the touching, kissing and suggestive talking the three of you haven't done it yet. You were scared to show them the scars on your back but after your first bath with them you realized that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Since then, you've been thinking a lot lately about being intimate with them but you've never had sex with one person before let alone two people, you have no idea how it will feel, what to do or how to ask. So you do what you always do, you ask for advice, normally it would be Robin you ask but Nami has way more experience in this and was more than happy to help you out. She told you what men like, how to go about things, what to wear and even helped set up a plan for that night. Nami took everyone off the ship treating them to something while you, Sanji and Zoro stayed to "Watch the ship". While Sanji was in the kitchen cleaning up and Zoro was on the deck taking a nap, you went to your shared bedroom and pulled out some sexy underwear that Nami manged to find for you. The bra is white almost see thru lance with no straps and a zip on the back. The panties where also white lace with two thin strings going around your waist. You threw on one of Zoro's over sized shirts and headed to the Kitchen. Sanji was putting dishes away when you walked in catching his attention, he had to do a double take when he realized what you were wearing "Wow love, you look amazing in Zoro's shirt" He smirked taking the cigarette out of his mouth as you came round the counter placing your lips on his. He leaned into you wrapping his arms around your butt as your hand went up and into his hair. Sanji hoisted you up onto the counter your legs wrapping around his waist keeping him close. You could already feel him getting hard as his pelvis pressed into yours. You broke the kiss to grab his cigarette and take a puff, tilting your head back and blowing it out "Your so Hot" Sanji whispers under his breath. You look back at him with a smiles pulling him closer to your face by his chin "Sanji.. I want you, I want you and Zoro right now" You whisper his eyes widening in response as you put out his cigarette. "Are you sure?" Sanji leans in placing his forehead on top of yours "Of course i'm sure. I have to warn you though... I'm a virgin" At those words you feel him get harder against you. "We'll take good care of you" Sanji kisses you with on hand behind your head and the other under your butt as he lifts you off the counter. "Lets go and get our love then" your cook carries you to the door kicking it open. Zoro's head shot up form the sudden bang only to see his two lovers together just leaving the kitchen. He couldn't help but smile at seeing you in his shirt and your legs latching around Sanji's waist "Zoro come on" You called out reaching a hand out to him. He thought you two were messing about until Sanji spoke up "Ro, baby... We're ready for you" Those words made him realize what you two wanted. He's been aching for this and doesn't want to wait any longer, He hops up and jogs over to the two of you instantly latching his lips onto Sanji's neck making the cook groan. "Come on lets go to our room" You whisper running your hand threw Zoro's hair, he looks up and kisses you before nodding and walking with you to the bedroom.

Sanji set you on the bed running his hands up your legs and under Zoro's shirt "Can i take it off my love?" he asks his eyes travailing over your legs and up your body. You don't answer just took it off for him raveling what you have on. "Gods baby... where the hell did you get that?" Zoro asks crawling onto the bed behind you and running his hands up your side and over your breasts. "It's a secret" You lean back against him realizing his shirt was off, his chest was beautiful, muscles pressing against your back as his hands grip both your breasts "mmmm, Zoro" you moan out leaning back and kissing his neck while both your hands went up and around his neck running your finger threw his hair. Sanji's lips went to your thighs lifting one of your legs over his shoulder to get better access, his kisses made their way to your panties kissing them lightly. You gasped at the feeling pulling away form Zoro's neck and looking down at Sanji "It's her first time, Ro. We better take good care of her" He states running a finger over your panties feeling the wetness you didn't even realize was there. "Really? i'm glad were your first baby" Zoro reaches under your bra cupping both your breasts in his large hands while rubbing your nipples with his thumb. The feeling catches you off guard, it felt really good and you wanted more, you wanted both of them now. Feeling your eagerness Sanji slides your pants off and pulled both of your legs over his shoulders "Relax love. Im gonna make you feel good" You watch Sanji as he kisses down your inner thigh making his way to your now available clit, he kisses it once before opening his mouth to suck on it. the feeling is like no other, a wave of pleasure flows threw your body making you moan out, you move your arm to try and cover your mouth but Zoro stops you pulling both your hands behind his head. he holds your wrists with one hand while the others went back to playing with your breasts "Don't cover it up baby, i want to hear you moan" He whispers in your ear before licking your neck and biting. You gasp and moan both men forcing pleasure threw your body. Sanji's tongue dances around your clit and into your hole while gripping your thighs to his head stopping you form moving too much. "Oh god.. It- its so good" you moan out earning a moan from both boys. Zoro unzips your bra and throws it to the side, his hand cups your breast before pulling and gripping onto your nipple "Does it feel good baby?" the swords man asks finally pulling away form your neck, you nod only managing to let out moans in response. "He's doing such a good job isn't he?" Zoro asks looking down at the cook eating you out. You feel Zoro's hips push up against your back, now feeling how hard he is, it makes you want them both in you but you don't want this to stop, a knot forms in your core the pleasure intensifying "Oh-oh god... Sanji" You call out unable to control yourself as you cum. Moving your hips back and forth as Sanji licks and sucks helping you ride out your high.

You're gasping for air as Sanji pulls away his nose, lips and chin wet with your cum, He stands up and bends over kissing Zoro, their tongues exploring each others mouths before pulling away "You both test so good" Your swords man comments laying you down on the bed. Sanji sits down next to you only for your hand to run up his leg and to his cock. You use your other hand to do the same to Zoro, even with their pants on you can feel the different between the two "I want you two. please" you say with a smile Sanji goes to take off his pants but Zoro stops him leaning down to you and kissing your lips "I have an idea if your willing?" he asks running his hands over your hips "Sanji gets your front and i get your back" The thought slightly scares you but you trust them giving him a nod in response. He pulls you up further onto the bed and then turns to Sanji unzipping his pants and helping to take them off while sanji takes off his shirt. Sanji's cock was long and thin it smacked against his stomach once his underpants were pulled down, Zoro stared at it for a while before bending down and kissing the tip. Sanji moaned slightly as Zoro wrapped his mouth around the cooks dick sucking it and rubbing it. Sanji's moans filled the room one hand grabbing onto the sword mans hair and the other grabbing you pulling you in close for a kiss. You shoved your tongue in Sanji's mouth feeling all around as the man moaned in your mouth. The situation was turning you on again and you pulled away wanting to hear more of your cooks moans. He tired to kiss you again but you stopped him wrapping your hand around his neck "Moan for me my darling. your so hot when you moan" Sanji stared at you, eye's full of love and lust as he moaned out "Y/N.. Zoro.. Feels so good. please dont s-stop" The cook struggled to say between moans "H-harder" Sanji let out grabbing your hand thats around his neck begging you to squeeze, you complied watching as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, moaning out one more time before cumming in Zoro's mouth. You removed your hand from Sanji's neck but kept an arm around him, so he didn't fall off the bed. Zoro swallowed and licked his lips looking up at the two of you "You both did such a good job." he compliments both of you.

After Sanji had calmed down enough, he moved to the middle of the bed and laid on his back. Zoro held your hips and helped you move over the top of your cook but not letting you sit down yet. "What about you?" You ask reaching behind you to place a hand on Zoro's still clothed cock. "Don't worry, this is what i want" Zoro smiles licking your neck and biting it again. He takes off his pants and underwear throwing them to the side before grabbing your hips again. "Im gonna help you on and then i'm gonna put it in ok?" he asks grabbing sanji's cock and rubbing the tip against your wet folds, you both lets out a slight moan at the sensation. After a little while of teasing Zoro slowly lowering you onto Sanji's cock. You moan out in slight pain, Sanji rubbing your hip and stomach as you go down. "Oh love your so tight" your cook moans out leaning his head back as your wet vagina squeezes his dick. Once fully on, Zoro rubs his hard cock and pressing the tip against your back "You ready for me baby?" he waits for you to nod before he bends you over Sanji who cups your face in his hands and kisses you. Zoro lines his cock up with your ass and pushes it in slowly, the pain slowly turning into pleasure as he made his way further in. You didn't manage to get a look at his dick but it felt wide stretching you out. You pulled away form Sanji's mouth looking back at Zoro who had a big smile on his face digging his fingers into your hips "Zoro, Sanji" You moan out getting both their attention. "I love you" you let out Zoro leaning over to kiss your back and Sanji kissing your neck "We love you too" both say in unison before looking at each other "I love you too" Sanji bucks his hips up making you moan out his, Zoro follows along moving together in unison, you couldn't think straight, the feeling was unlike anything you have ever felt before. Zoro's thick cock slamming in and out of your ass as Sanji's dick thrust into your wet pussy. Every time sanji would pull out its like your wetness sucked him back in. "Oh you feel so good baby" Zoro moaned out form behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the scars on your back on occasions biting them. Sanji hips bucked uncontrollably his thighs slapping against Zoro's legs as he moved them up and down. One of his hands was clutching the pillow behind his head for dear life while the other was grabbing a fist full of your hair. "Ah, ah.. pussy s-so good.. my l-love" Sanji moaned out his back arching slightly at the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of you. All you could let out were breathy moans your hands on either side of Sanji's head, your head thrown back as your hips rocked back and forth. The knot in your stomach started forming and stretching "Oh Oh, no i'm gonna" you cried out not wanting this to end "It's ok baby, just cum" Zoro groaned into your back. "Cum with us love" Sanji moaned out moving his hand off the pillow to grab your breast, tightening his grip on you. Their moves got sloppy as you were all nearing your peaks "Oh baby yes... it feels so good. Lets us cum inside" Zoro means sitting up straight to slam his hips into your ass harder. "Please my love.. please. i wanna cum in your pussy... please" Sanji moaned out gripping your hair tighter his hips moving faster and slamming into your wet hole. "Yes, yes please... i wanna know h-how it feels t-to be filled" you moan out your hands gripping the sheets as the knot gets tighter and tighter soon bursting. You loudly moan as both boys come in you, filling both holes up with their cum continuing to move until their high is over

"That was so good." Zoro sighs slowly pulling out of your ass watching his Cum drip out with him. "You did great for a first time my love" sanji comments moving your hair out of your face helping you lay down next to him your head on his chest. Zoro lays down on the other side of Sanji resting his head on the cooks shoulder taking your hand in his "We'll rest for a bit and then get a bath." Sanji kisses both your foreheads still slightly breathless. "Im glad i waited for you two" you whisper both boys smiling at you in response "I hope you only ever do this with us" Zoro says back letting go of your hand and caressing your cheek "Just us three together" Sanji whispers still trying to catch his breath "Forever" You lean up kissing his cheek then leaning over to kiss Zoro's lips

[genderqueerdykes]

in honor of aromantic spectrum awareness week, i thought i'd take the time to talk about how much my personal life and feelings improved after coming to terms with the fact that i'm aromantic. before i accepted this, i found myself in several romantic relationships where i was deeply unhappy, uncomfortable, and made to feel like i wasn't a good enough partner because i just couldn't do or feel certain things.

i've never enjoyed kissing, and cuddling gets uncomfortable for me within the first few minutes of doing so. even hugs are deeply uncomfortable to me unless i really know and care about someone, and even then, hugs only come when that person asks for them. it never occurs to me to touch people this way, the most you'll get out of me is a pat on the shoulder, back or knee.

i ended up dating several people who were very much romantics, and heavily focused on that aspect of our relationship. it kind of felt like torture to me, i felt like i was being forced to live every day like it was Valentine's Day- every day had to be filled with hours of cuddling, kissing, and telling the other person how much i loved them. while not all romantic partners are like this, it wore on my psyche quickly to be paired with folks like this, because i understood how important it was to them, but i just couldn't keep up the performance.

i thought something was "wrong" with me for years and that i just wasn't in touch with my emotions, or that i was somehow embracing some toxic aspects of my masculinity without realizing. it took me ages to remember that i came out as aromantic when i was much younger, but after criticism from my friends, including a friend who was asexual, i stopped identifying with the label, because i was told that aromanticism wasn't real, and that that just made me an asshole.

nearly a decade and several uncomfortable romantic relationships later, it finally clicked that there wasn't something wrong with me, but there was something wrong with the situations i was getting myself into. sure, i love being partnered- i have a queerplatonic partner that i've known for a decade and have only gotten closer to over time. but we've never been romantic. we don't exchange romantic platitudes, and i realized; i've never been happier with someone else than i am with this person.

why is that?

oh. because they don't expect romance from me. they are also on the aspectrum and don't have a romantic partner, either.

this relationship has brought me more joy than any romantic partnership i've ever attempted to pursue. that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me- i was just looking for happiness in the wrong places. i was miserable not because i'm aromantic, but because i was getting into romantic relationships.

romance can be a source of misery. romance does not inherently make everyone happy. we are not all looking for romance as a species. in fact, chasing it makes many people miserable. too many people spend their lives looking for "the one" that they can kiss, cuddle, hold and say all of those mushy things to when they may not even want that to begin with.

i've never been more at peace with myself since finally, fully accepting that i'm aromantic. i love who i am, and i love how i love. i am not loveless, i experience platonic, queerplatonic and other forms of love. but loveless aromantics aren't miserable, either. we are all embracing ourselves in a way that's true to us. we are refusing to warp ourselves to a society that tells us that we all must have homogeneous feelings.

i am aromantic. i am here. my aromanticism is queer in a society that expects and demands romance of me, and this is true of all aromantics, cis, trans, gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, and otherwise. we are here, we are not going away any time soon, and we will not be silent because our identities make some people uncomfortable. we are happiest being who we are.

happy aro week, this goes out to every last arospectrum person out there, appreciate yourselves this week. you deserve it.

[handweavers]

of all the questions in the world "why are you trans" or "why are you gay" has to be one of the least interesting ones that exist but it's often the go-to question for conservatives when faced with the existence of lgbt people esp in conservative countries in my personal experience. and i've been trying to figure out why they ask that because it feels like such a stupid question on the surface like what do you mean 'why'??? but it occurred to me that the question really is "why did you choose to be open about this/make it my problem" and many try to answer by saying "i didn't choose i was born this way" which i personally find to be an unfulfilling answer, especially because that isn't really what the person is asking. they ask that question not necessarily because they can't fathom why people have such feelings but because they can't fathom why we would act on them, why we would be open about it, why we would do anything but keep those feelings very tiny and miserable within ourselves.

like i think most people regardless of their politics can understand to some extent the concept of gay attraction or gender euphoria, can recognize some aspect of that in their own experience, and if you come from a conservative country or culture you'll discover many people who have such feelings but have entirely stifled them, stamped them down, disregarded them, and it's clear those feelings still haunt them. people who will say "of course everyone has feelings for people of the same gender you just can't act on them" with a straight face or "everyone has wished they were a different gender but we cant do anything about it so oh well" not realizing how they sound and they're upset with you because you didn't ignore those thoughts or disregard them. they aren't exactly upset with you because you have those feelings, they're upset with you because you aren't ashamed of them, and whether that specific shame is a feeling that they relate to or the shame they're familiar with is of a different kind, if you're from a culture where social shame is so powerful and encompassing, the idea of someone not also being internally or externally crushed by that shame and taking their life into their own hands is upsetting. to see someone do that and not suffer consequences of doing so feels wrong to them.

like we have family members who remained stuck in marriages that made them miserable, in towns and villages that made them miserable, in jobs and lives that make them miserable, even if they had the material means to escape, but did not do so because of shame and some sense of duty, like that misery means something. perhaps those who did not have the material means to escape their misery, but you did, and what results is resentment and blame. and they look at you and it's not even necessarily that you're gay or trans or whatever that they hate you for, but because you escaped that shame, you were miserable and you decided you did not have to be and you did something for yourself, and just that act is often seen as selfish and upsetting within this cultural context.

esp in cultures where this kind of misery is seen as familial duty, so by forgoing such misery and the social expectations placed upon you you are simultaneously shirking your familial responsibility, in a society where familial and communal ties are everything. so when family members ask me "why are you trans" i just answer that i chose happiness and i am content with my choices, and the rest is something for them to work out.

[bengiyo]

Only Friends: There are No Heroines. They're Just Dudes.

I’ve been meditating on what I want to say about Only Friends for a while. I’ve read so many great posts coming from a lot of lenses I respect and admire. I loved @shouldiusemyname pointing out the 90s aesthetic of the show and how the creative team is unpacking some of what informed their early experiences. I think @respectthepetty is right to call out the way Boston’s aggression crosses lines and @syrena-del-mar reading Boston as a Machiavellian Prince, even as I think @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan provide good reminders of the kinds of lenses we need to interrogate as we approach stories about queer people written by queer people. I’m enjoying the discussions on ephemerality happening around the show from @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, @neuroticbookworm, and others. I think, when it comes to how I’m approaching this show, I’m watching I the same way I watched Queer as Folk, a text we know the creative team is familiar with (@omarandjohnny).

I don’t watch this as a story about heroes and villains. They’re just people with mundane goals reacting to each other as their desires interface with each other. I watch this show the same way I watched Queer as Folk, Black Sails, Game of Thrones, How to Get Away With Murder, and similar ensemble cast shows. None of these characters are heroines dealing with flawed suitors. They’re a bunch of dudes in their early 20s with problems, many of which have to deal with sex. This show isn’t like La Pluie, which was big romance in which Saengtai was the heroine and Phat was the romantic lead. Only Friends isn’t a big romance that’s interrogating the nature of romance itself. It’s a gay ensemble drama.

At first, I wondered if this show would center on Mew’s perspective because he was our opening narrator, but it’s clear by episode three that the show doesn’t have a central narrator. This was a similar shift I had to learn while watching Queer as Folk (2000) in realizing that Michael’s perspective is not sacrosanct and that he can be an asshole just as much as any of the other guys. It was also something we had to appreciate in Noah’s Arc (2005). When you’re watching Game of Thrones or Black Sails, you choose the faction you most want to see win or most respect or admire. For Only Friends, I’m mostly watching it from a third-person perspective; I am watching to see how each character’s choices impact the other characters.

I want to stress how mundane much of this show feels to me. Watching these guys interact with each other and their world reminds me exactly of how I felt interacting with other people when I was 21-24 and hanging out in spaces like this. Just like with my argument that Sailom (Wedding Plan) is just closeted, I think most of these guys are just young and a little messed up.

I liked @respectthepetty talking about how she feels bad for Top because of how people see him as a body, and how Top may just be using sex as a coping mechanism to not be alone. I like how obvious Ray’s abandonment issues have played into his substance issues, and how that informs the way he tries to cling so tightly onto people. I like that there have been huge warning signs over Nick ever since we saw him violate Boston’s privacy and look at his photos (I was not surprised he bugged the car at all). I am so fascinated by Mew’s apparent need for control (@lurkingshan), which may be over appearances. I am curious to see how Sand responds to Ray throwing him back after opening himself up past one of his boundaries. I am stoked to see how everyone eventually responds to Boston’s callousness now that things are going to start coming out (@ranchthoughts). I want to know how Cheum and April deal with all the gays losing focus on their project when they were the only ones trying to secure the bag during the party.

For me, I find myself waiting for context from these characters rather than trying to dig it out myself. I think I am worrying less about why anyone is doing anything and more on the responses they illicit from everyone else. I think it’s fascinating for me that prior to this episode I don’t think Top had done anything egregious we’d seen. He’s said he’s tired of hooking up with guys like Boston and wanted to try Mew and, despite their games, he’s been straightforward with Mew; he’s only faltered at the point that he believed Mew lied to him first. No matter how sad and lonely Ray is, I don’t want him driving his car around Bangkok, and I think he needs to stop dicking around with Sand. I think Sand needs to stop playing Captain Save-a-Hoe with Ray and reaffirm his solo stance. I think Nick needs to recognize that Boston’s insinuations that they could be more are hollow and he should just move on. I think Mew should stop trying to win his relationships and be honest about what he wants. I think Boston should probably taste a little fist and have his worldview rearranged a little bit.

Please keep writing and unpacking the psyches of these characters! I’m enjoying reading all of the ways people are connecting to these characters. Still, I want to avoid blowing them up into high-drama figures because they’re just like a lot of the folks I knew (and still know) in the community. I had dinner with some of them last night. These guys are just people, and people sometimes fuck each other up. I think the mundanity of their actions is probably the most appealing part of this show for me.