#this is my formal application

[dionysianchub]

I've had this ongoing fantasy of being my office's communal pet pig. Everyone's blubbered up little toy to fatten, play with, and abuse to get their stress out and get through the day.

In the mornings come the sweets. Donuts, muffins, scones, and every sticky, sugary breakfast treat that can be carried in those familiar pink boxes gets delivered to my desk. People take turns shoving a few pastries in my mouth before wiping the sticky mess from their fingers onto my too-tight shirt, a couple of them give my belly a few firm slaps before heading to their desk to work. A few stay behind to watch me paw through the pastries, gorging myself as my chair creaks weakly as it struggles to support my growing weight. They have a betting pool going to see how much longer it can hold out.

At lunch time they come by with the unwanted scraps of their own meals, a few committed individuals packing full lunches just for the office pig. They marvel at my gluttony, treating me like the human garbage disposal I am, and watching in mixed pleasure and disgust as I eat everything they give me through heavy breaths and muffled burps. "Good job, fatass." they say, grabbing and shaking one of my overflowing rolls and watching my fat body ripple from the motion. A stray button flies off my shirt, and the person feeding me starts fingering the newly exposed gap in the fabric, prodding my plush blubber as they shove another large bite of food down my throat.

At the end of the day I'm waddling to get to my car, painfully stuffed and aroused from being used as everyone's tubby stress ball all day long, clothing barely hanging on, stretched over the too-full belly now hanging out the bottom of my shrinking shirt. And it's only Wednesday.

[ohshittheyreonfire]

Let me beta read yalls fics please

[cheese-water]

Generation Loss is a comedic tragedy in every sense of the word. Every character we see exemplifies this fact, but no one other than The Austin Show proves its truth.

We begin at the carousel. Austin, Gay, takes his turn by pleading for himself to live because he has a wife and children back home. The rest of the cast interrogates him about his “wife and kids,” clearly suspicious of his truthfulness without even knowing his dubbed “title.” Everyone in the room treats Austin like a joke.

In turn, so do we.

Next, we reach the closet and shortly after the failed drag show, Austin remarks, “Look, I uh… I didn’t expect to die here.” It’s a moment of pure honesty, whether we like it or not. It happens again when the Puzzler tries to party with them, and Austin has to angrily remind him that they are his captives and are actively trying to kill them.

Austin: “What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here. I have children and wives— wife. One wife! What is this some sort of game? I’ve been stuck in hear for hours it seems. We’re trying to get out. Why is nobody else freaking out? We’ve got C4 strapped to our neck…”

It isn’t until Ethan’s death, his blood pooling out from underneath the door, Austin screaming at the others, begging them to have a reaction, to care about their circumstances, to care about death, that we finally understand Austin’s role in Generation Loss.

After all, in every great comedy, someone always has to play the straight man.

[hungry-tum-stuff]

Do you,, wanna be friends

i WISHHHHH. i wasnt ascared of making new friends in this region of the worled wide web

[yuwuta]

gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story

REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 

but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 

he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 

he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 

[calamitydaze]

patere

buddie || eddie study || E || 60k+ || chapter 1/3

in which, over the course of a summer, eddie diaz has several revelations, gets his son back, unpacks a lifetime of shame and guilt, and just maybe manages to find what he’s been looking for all along.

Frank sets his pen down and leans forward slightly, looking straight at Eddie like a butterfly he’s securing behind glass. He fights the urge to squirm as Frank pushes the final pin in place. “But is it what you want?”

The room suddenly seems very quiet, the thrum of Eddie’s blood in his ears very loud. He can almost see himself, in glistening china pieces scattered across the carpet.

“Yes?” He says after a long moment. His voice is wobbly, unsure, testing the ice to see if it can bear his weight.

The word offers no comfort. No rush of certainty floods through him and steels his bones for another try. The ice cracks. If he stays where he is another second, he’ll be plunged into the freezing river.

He starts to form a no that dies premature on his lips, stillborn.

And underneath it, the terrifying truth. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie says faintly, staring at his hands. Hands that have pulled a trigger, hands that have pressed the lifeblood back into someone’s body. “I don’t know.”

read the rest on ao3!

[winterstaryu]

My list of "internet acquaintances I would kill to be friends with but have no idea how to actually talk to" has grown so much over the past year it may as well be a book at this point

[brakingpoint]

australian gp 2023 x red flags by mimi webb 🇦🇺🚩

[sgsketchbook]

i follow where my mind goes

[dahldahlbills]

compliment his hair right now 🫵

[ravencromwell]

So as everyone's waiting to see which way the world tips, I'm in a fierce personal joy bubble. Acceptance letter just arrived, and I've, in what still feels numinous and miraculous, made my way in to four-year uni. I started community college almost three years ago now, a decade out of high school, barely remembering to keep the I voice out of academic papers. And somehow, I'm graduating in December with an associate's in history, a 4.0, and a bizarre awe because yeah apparently I can do this academia thing pretty damn ok—at least ok enough other institutions want me to keep taking a crack.

[sweet-old-hereafter]

🎀 𝐼𝒻 𝓌𝑒𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓈 𝓃o𝓂𝒶𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝒹❀ 𝓌𝑒 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝓌𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔? 🎀

[starbuck]

guys… i got an interview!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[ladyazurith]

So I never developed a very indepth version of Yuu, and truly made them my character, because despite the fact I love this game and these characters, I'm an adult, and while I enjoy writing out their relationships with each other, I never wanted or desired a place in them. I am to old and don't find any of the characters attractive in that way to truly make an OC with romantic interest or otherwise.

Vil's dad however. I would be his (Vil’s) stepmother in a heartbeat. Eric Venue is definitely more my type. So you *may* see some things in the future from me.

[demonsdealings]

🥺

[thalys-artcorner]

“You showed the spirit of a True Warrior”

Finan and Eadith from The Last Kingdom. Or as I like to say, one badass lady and her simping, lovestruck himbo.