#this is mostly to organize myself but you can read it if you want!

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

[primofate]

About boycotting Genshin Impact: Natlan skin colour issue and McDonalds.

(Read if you care about these issues and care about what I'm doing.)

If you are only here for a TLDR and want to know if I'm still writing Genshin fanfiction here's the short story: (I appreciate all the encouraging messages and all the love, but I may need to find another platform if things aren't working out here. If that day comes I will surely post over here and let you know where I've gone, but for now, though it is quite unpleasant, I do like and am used to the tumblr format. )

Long post starts here:

Decided to finally say something about this, because I feel like I've read up adequately about things.

First off, to the anon who claimed that I didn't care (who revealed their real identity in my inbox and apologized) I appreciate your bravery and also appreciate the apology. But I'm not going to lie to you, I don't really care for your presence around here, specially after what happened.

About the Natlan issue and the lack of tan/brown/dark skinned colour characters,

I understand why people are upset. I had a conversation with someone about this on tumblr, on how me, myself, I get upset when there is a lack of FEMALE main characters in games (I am mostly talking about the Persona Franchise, the main characters are always MALE, time and time again I always wait for a FEMALE MC, but am always disappointed that it hasn't happened EXCEPT of course, for P3 Portable and P2EP. Finally you had the option to play as Female, but that was it. I mean, it's 2024. WHY is there a lack of FEMALE MC in Persona? Anyhow, that is a different topic altogether.) so I can see how it could be disappointing for POC to see less or even NO characters that are POC.

That part, I totally understand.

All of your actions, boycotting, not rolling, not playing the game, being free to play, I UNDERSTAND all of that.

Now, recently there has been a big issue with Genshin Impact collaborating with McDonalds, because the chain supports Israel (but McDonalds is a franchise... and different owners have different ways of using their ownership of the chain/profit they make off it, so idk how that equals to all McDonalds support Israel. Educate me on this if I'm wrong.) People are saying that they are uninstalling the game because of it.

Again, I UNDERSTAND why you would do that.

I think what I need to address is what I am going to do.

And I'm not gunna lie to you, I don't think I'm going to stop playing the game (and I don't spend much money in game in the first place).

Does it mean that I support the bad situations they've put themselves in or the bad choices they've made? No, but of course there will be people who will say I play the game = I support their thoughts. Can it not just be simply I play the game = I enjoy the game/story?

I am being transparent and I think that's better than some of the people online who keep saying they won't play anymore but you KNOW some of them still do. Like, come on. Don't lie.

If that makes me a bad person according to you judgers out there, then so be it. Who really are you to claim I'm a bad person just because I play a game? Do you know what kinds of things I do in real life? What groups I help out and what organizations I donate to? What really do you know about what I do in real life? Maybe think about that before pointing your finger at someone online, and maybe think about what YOU are doing in real life too, instead of just being keyboard fighters, have you done anything to enhance the lives of other people?

Am I still going to write Genshin fanfiction?

Honestly if I stop doing it, it's because the interaction here on tumblr has been so toxic. LESS people commenting and interacting, I don't really mind much because I enjoy writing in general, I don't do it for you, I do it for me.

I am STILL writing, but at a slower pace because of my real life plus everything that's surrounding the game and the toxicity at the moment. I am even considering not posting on tumblr and just releasing stories like Ruthless Prince, stories that would be available through physical copy or ebooks that you have to pay for (that way I don't get nasty interactions and messages and those who really want to read my stuff can just pay and enjoy it) but as you all know, I'm not money hungry, I still post a lot of free stuff over here, but again, I'm not going to lie, there isn't much reason for me to post on tumblr anymore, specially with all the controversies and attacking going on.

I appreciate all the encouraging messages and all the love, but I may need to find another platform if things aren't working out here. If that day comes I will surely post over here and let you know where I've gone, but for now, though it is quite unpleasant, I do like and am used to the tumblr format.

The End.

[savagegood]

@shinjiroatae1126: To all my fans, today was a very special day for me. For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself...But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man. It has taken me a long time to be able to say I am gay. I could not even say it to myself. However, I’ve come to realize it is better, both for me, and for the people I care about, including my fans, to live life authentically than to live a life never accepting who I truly am. I hope people who are struggling with the same feeling will find courage and know they are not alone.

ps, he’s released a new song, “into the light”, which you can watch here. part of the proceeds from the single will go to lgbtq+ organisations

@shinjiroatae1126: July 26th, 2023 was a big day for me. I finally gathered the courage to come out to the public as a gay man. I am grateful to have received media coverage from multiple platforms both within Japan and overseas.

To be honest, I was extremely anxious before all of this happened. However, I've been pleasantly surprised to discover the overwhelming amount of positive feedback pouring in from both my fans and people who have come across the news about me. It's heartwarming to see that my story is being acknowledged from all around the world, and this brings me immense joy. Although they may be baby steps, I sense that this world is gradually moving into the light. Yesterday, I made an announcement about resuming my career as an artist. I also released a new song titled “Into The Light”. The music video for the song is also on YouTube now. This song is packed with the emotions and thoughts leading up to this point, including my decision to come out. Living with anxieties and struggles is not limited to just LGBTQ+ individuals. I hope this song can be a source of encouragement for anyone carrying such emotions. I've aimed for it to become a song that can uplift those with similar feelings. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Pride House Tokyo, Japan’s first permanent LGBTQ+ center, and ReBit, an organization providing resources and support for LGBTQ+ youth. I hope this song will touch many hearts.🙏🌈

At first, there was total silence. Then, there were shrieks, wild applause, weeping and shouts of “I love you!”

Fans of Shinjiro Atae, a J-pop idol who has been on a nearly two-year performance hiatus, had come to hear him talk about “the challenge of my life.” Standing onstage in a dark auditorium in front of 2,000 fans in central Tokyo on Wednesday night, he revealed something he has kept hidden for most of his life: He is gay.

“I respect you and believe you deserve to hear this directly from me,” he said, reading from a letter he had prepared. “For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself. But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man.”

Such an announcement is extremely unusual in conservative Japan, the only G7 country that has not legalized same-sex unions. Earlier this summer, the Japanese Parliament passed an L.G.B.T.Q rights bill but it had been watered down by the political right, stating that there “should be no unfair discrimination” against gay and transgender people.

In making a public declaration, the 34-year-old Mr. Atae, who spent two decades performing with AAA, a hit Japanese pop group, before embarking on a solo career, said he wanted his fans to know his true self. He also hopes to comfort those who might be grappling with anxieties about their sexuality.

“I don’t want people to struggle like me,” he said.

AAA debuted in 2005, with Mr. Atae, the youngest member, forgoing high school. He performed mostly as a dancer, and began appearing in TV series and movies.

His sexuality perplexed him. “It was a time when on TV, comedians would say two men kissing was gross,” he said. If anyone asked if he had a girlfriend, he just said he was too busy working.

Activists said they could not recall an instance when a Japanese pop star of his stature had publicly declared they were gay, because of anxieties about losing fans or sponsors.

“I think he has decided to come out in order to change Japan,” said Gon Matsunaka, a director and adviser to Pride House Tokyo, a support center for the gay and transgender community.

The decision to open up about his sexuality, he said, evolved over seven years of living in Los Angeles, where he saw how freely gay couples could show affection in public and built an extensive support network.

“Everyone was so open,” he said. “People would talk about their vulnerabilities. In Japan, people think it’s best not to talk about those things.”

Mr. Atae’s decision, he said, was not political.  All he wanted, he said, was to “normalize” being gay. Coming out, he knew, would likely draw criticism. “Whatever you do, there will be haters,” he said. “I can only focus on the people I might be helping.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a joke about my sex life to a student? 😏🐓 Nsfw text obv i know the title sounds bad but please read everything

I (Transmasc, 25) work on a school, very open as being gay, pride pins and it all, not as a teacher but I take care of computers, textbooks and the library. The younger folk seem to like me, but it's in high school folks things get ugly. Most just don't care about me, which I can't judge, being a teen sucks. Some hate me for telling them to go back to class. The ones that like me (mostly queer/autistic folk) like me for real.

There's this one boy (he's either 16 or 17 so he's NOT a kid) that always makes fun of me, is always skipping classes, is mean to everyone, implied a old teacher she should be better off dead, bothers everyone, talk loudly and complains about everything on his sight.

And he is. Very bigoted. I saw him more than once hurting the girls he studies with (slapping/punching) and caling the whores and more, telling them to suck him off, ride his dick, gag on his cock, etc, saying very hurtful things on gay men/anyone he deemed gay, and principal can only call his parents so many times before the parents stop showing and taking the concerns seriously. This is an ongoing issue since 6th grade, as far as I know. He hates my guts since I've called the principal on him more than once for going off on me telling me to fuck myself for asking him to go back to class.

My main strategy with him is ignoring him and the second one is answering as I don't understand him. Perks of being autistic I guess, being able to do this with a straight face. So: he calls me a chicken, I tell him they're my favorite farm animal, how did he guess? They're so amazing and cute. He tells me the lunch is gross, I say they can buy their lunch to bring if they want to, school food isn't that good (not true, the school food is amazing. Most students eat more than one plate). The computers are too slow, I ask him to please be patient cause they're old men that don't like to work, be nice to them :(. Guy says that the classes sucks, I tell him that the complaint box is at (governor's address) but yea they suck but at least he has only one year left.

This is where I might be the asshole, because I hurt myself going up and down a chair to organize some textbooks and I already have severe hip/knee pain so this only made me hurt worse so I am already pretty grumpy. A teacher asks for a banner of a periodic table and I have to find the table and go up a chair to hang it, and in the process, I let out a moan of pain becaude my knees dream of my downfall, and the teacher asks me if I am okay, so I tell yea, my hips and knees just hurt like a bitch. And this one student tells me "why, are you beaten up from taking cock in your ass?" And I breath deeply and answer "If it was from fucking I would be damn happy, but it's only from working. Anyways teacher here you go (with the periodic table)" and the teacher looks me with a surprised expression and all the class is silent and uncomfortable so I just left. Now the student can't look in my eyes but at least they're not talking to me anymore and the teacher hasn't said anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ladyshinga]

I keep being told to "adapt" to this new AI world.

Okay.

Well first of all, I've been training myself more and more how to spot fake images. I've been reading every article with a more critical eye to see if it's full of ChatGPT's nonsense. I've been ignoring half the comments on stuff just assuming it's now mostly bots trying to make people angry enough to comment.

When it comes to the news and social issues, I've started to focus on and look for specific journalists and essayists whose work I trust. I've been working on getting better at double-checking and verifying things.

I have been working on the biggest part, and this one is a hurdle: PEOPLE. People whose names and faces I actually know. TALKING to people. Being USED to talking to people. Actual conversations with give and take that a chat bot can't emulate even if their creators insist they can.

All of this combined is helping me survive an AI-poisoned internet, because here's what's been on my mind:

What if the internet was this poisoned in 2020?

Would we have protested after George Floyd?

A HUGE number of people followed updates about it via places like Twitter and Tiktok. Twitter is now a bot-hell filled with nazis and owned by a petulant anti-facts weirdo, and Tiktok is embracing AI so hard that it gave up music so that its users can create deepfakes of each other.

Would information have traveled as well as it did? Now?

The answer is no. Half the people would have called the video of Floyd's death a deepfake, AI versions of it would be everywhere to sew doubt about the original, bots would be pushing hard for people to do nothing about it, half the articles written about it would be useless ChatGPT garbage, and the protests themselves… might just NOT have happened. Or at least, they'd be smaller - AND more dangerous when it comes to showing your face in a photo or video - because NOW what can people DO with that photo and video? The things I mentioned earlier will help going forward. Discernment. Studying how the images look, how the fake audio sounds, how the articles often talk in circles and litter in contradictory misinformation. and PEOPLE.

PEOPLE is the biggest one here, because if another 2020-level event happens where we want to be protesting on the streets by the thousands, our ONLY recourse right now is to actually connect with people. Carefully of course, it's still a protest, don't use Discord or something, they'll turn your chats over to cops.

But what USED to theoretically be "simple" when it came to leftist organizing ("well my tweet about it went viral, I helped!") is just going to require more WORK now, and actual personal communication and connection and community. I know if you're reading this and you're American, you barely know what that feels like and I get it. We're deprived of it very much on purpose, but the internet is becoming more and more hostile to humanity itself. When it comes to connecting to other humans… we now have to REALLY connect to other humans

I'm sorry. This all sucks. But adapting usually does.

[doumadono]

ANNOUNCEMENT

This is a turning point for me. I've been silent for too long, but I can't stay quiet anymore.

I'm going through writer's burnout, and it has hit me hard. I've been writing on Tumblr and Ao3 for nearly eight years now (with about 1.5 years on my private blog, doumadono). Over that time, I've written more than 400 stories across various fandoms, created the Sinful Sunday event and a series that many people like, helped many with numerous emergency requests — so many that one masterlist wasn't enough to cover them all.

But all of this has brought me to a place where writing no longer feels like a joy, but rather a duty. In my effort to make everyone happy, I lost myself and took on too much, accepting even the most twisted and difficult requests. It made me anxious and unwell whenever I thought about writing. This is why I haven't been posting much these past few weeks. I missed the breaking point and let myself reach a place where I was seriously considering quitting writing altogether and closing both my Tumblr and Ao3 accounts.

There's something else I need to address. I feel completely detached from Jujutsu Kaisen and Demon Slayer. I no longer feel comfortable writing for those fandoms. From now on, I'll be focusing mostly on My Hero Academia. Even though the manga recently ended, both the manga and the anime hold a special place in my heart. I’ve fallen in love with the story and its amazing characters. This is what feels right to me at this moment. That doesn't mean I'll never write for Demon Slayer or other fandoms again, but not now, not at this time. Maybe in the future — who knows?

Some of you might know that I've been dealing with a flood of hateful anonymous messages. Even though I’ve grown stronger and no longer consider them relevant, it still hurts to read such nasty words. This is another factor why I need to take a break.

So, what's going to change?

Sinful Sunday will no longer cover requests, and the event won't be as regular as it used to be. From now on, I'll post some sinful pieces specifically written for this event whenever I feel it's right. I'll write only for the characters I feel attached too.

Emergency requests will be limited to two slots and will no longer have a 48-hour window to be fulfilled. Once both slots are taken, emergency requests will be closed until I manage to clear the current asks in my inbox.

As of today, my ask box has been completely cleared. I won't be replying to any past asks, regardless of their origin or topic.

Commissions will remain open, as nearly all the requests have been fulfilled.

Regarding the following projects:

The Kvitravn series will be completed this year, but I can't provide a specific date just yet as I'm still working hard to bring everything together.

There's also a new series on the horizon featuring Dabi in the lead role, with a psychiatrist!Reader as the other main character.

As for Kinktober, I made a hard decision it will not be held as an event on my blog this year at all.

As of now, I want to focus on my own little My Hero Academia based AU that I created with my best friend @crystalwolfblog , and this is something that brings me a lot of comfort nowadays, and it's what I want to focus on. I’ll likely create another blog to post everything related to this AU, to keep things organized (the blog will be linked to my pinned post). This little AU was and is my safe haven for the past year and half, and since it contains all of my favourite characters, I want to focus on it fully.

The time for purification has come. I need to rediscover my purpose and find joy in writing again. To those who understand and have stuck with me since the ThePaperPanda days — you’re amazing and adorable, and I can never express how much I appreciate you, guys 💞

I want to share one last thought. This isn’t a statement, but rather a plea to readers: please respect writers, no matter the content they choose to explore. Writing is not as easy as it may seem; it requires a significant amount of time and effort, often taking up our personal time to craft a story. Don't send anon hate. Spread love instead! The least you can do to show your appreciation is to leave a comment, even if it’s just a word or two. For you, it’s a small gesture that takes less than a minute, but for the writer on the other side, it may be a much-needed sign that their work is meaningful. So if you enjoy an author’s work, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. It truly makes us writers feel like we’re on cloud nine.

Love you all, Marcianna

[alexanderwales]

Defensive writing is when you find yourself writing in such a way as to prevent certain lines of criticism or commentary. You write in extra clauses and hedging statements and qualifiers.

This sucks to write and sucks to read, but if you expect your audience to be hostile, you either write defensively or get ready to be completely derailed by comments that you can just feel are coming.

It sucks to write because you're running this extra module in your head, the one where you check statements against the ways in which the commentariat or readership will misinterpret or go on tangents, and this is kind of exhausting, much more than just writing down your well-organized thoughts.

It sucks to read because every sentence gets buried in a nest of asterisks. The clear point is being steered through a paragraph by a phalanx of defenses. Sometimes you'll read a bit of defensive writing and the defenses will take up the majority of the piece, not even defending the point, just attempting to head off nuance and interpretation.

Maybe surprisingly, this applies to writing both fiction and non-fiction. Non-fiction is obvious, in academic works we want to make sure that we're not just bullshitting, and it's the job of other academics to think things through to their full extent. But when writing fiction there are often hostile readers, and it can feel like every decision needs to be justified to them, every bit of worldbuilding gone over so someone won't pick nits (that might not even be there), every character framed in exactly the precise way they were meant to be framed. Fiction is a matter of interpretation, and some people really just want to interpret up something to hate.

I struggle with this, mostly because there's a lot of stuff I don't care about. Sometimes there are five conversations that I want to avoid, so I find myself picking my way across the minefield. Other times I'll just give up.

And writing fiction, you obviously can't give in to the haters, because if you spend too much time on that, you're going to end up with an awful story.

Plus with reading comprehension and media literacy being what they are, you can include a specific note laid there to ward of a line of conversation and still get someone who just ... failed to read.

[l-in-the-light]

Trafalgar Law: fear of closeness and touch part 2, the extended edition

Writing another post about it, because I have a lot of thoughts I need to organize for myself. This time it will be more like my interpretation about Law and his relationships with people than about the touch itself. And also I forgot one of the most crucial scenes about the topic (because ofc I would forget something so important), so I will start with it:

The last touch he remembers from Flevance is hiding under the pile of corpses, cold dehumanized bodies, treated like trash. No one wanted to touch them, just like no one wanted to be touched by Law. How poetic that Law escaped Flevance with a death sentence while hiding among the dead, because he will be treated like he's dead to the world from now on.

This reminds me of a manga I once read, Shigeshoushi (The Embalmer). It's about a guy whose job is embalming the dead, and he is ostracized, feared and refused by people as a result. Contact with death and dead bodies is taboo in Shinto and folk culture of Japan in general. If you think it's a thing of the past, I reccommend to watch Okuribito (Departures), it's really good and this topic is at the heart of the movie.

Anyway, back to the manga, warning for spoilers. Situation escalates to the point when the only human touch the guy can get is that of him handling the corpses for his job and that really messes up with his mental health. His despair leads him to engage himself in risky situations just to get by, casual sexual encounters with strangers become the only form of intimacy he can get and he soon gets addicted to it, but it still lacks the emotional warmth and love he desperately craves, so it's never enough for him. Of course to even get those encounters he has to lie about his job and whenever his lie gets exposed and he is confronted about it, forced to listen to all those women blaming him, feeling disgusted by what he forced on them (it was never forced, but suddenly it's unwanted after they learn he embalms dead bodies every day), and it just triggers and deepens his trauma.

I wonder if you can tell where I'm going with this comparison. Law is definitely as starved for touch and love as the main protagonist is. Still, I don't believe Law would become hypersexual (tho that's just my personal impression, especially after he so blatantly refused Monett), but most importantly unlike the main character Law would definitely not desperately beg for the touch. It's just not how Law is, he doesn't like to impose himself on others if he absolutely doesn't have to. Not to mention he can't bear asking openly for help or for anything really, not after the Vergo incident. It was the last time he ever begged for something.

Law seems to be the type to neglect his own needs to the point that he makes stupid and reckless decisions based on his fear of losing people (callback to Wano and imprisoned Hearts). When people dear to him are in danger, his first instinct is to rush and help them unless he's completely immobilized. That's the level of "prioritizing other people's safety and needs" he believes in, he would do it every time, but he hates when people do it for him. Mostly because he deeply believes Corazon got hurt because of him, and Corazon gave him all that love Law was starving for. And Law believes Cora-san finally died for it.

Add his trauma of expecting people to not want to be touched by him into the equation. That's why he has problems expressing his own need for love (and touch) from that point onward. He acts so tough, doesn't allow himself to show weakness and will definitely never ask for love, he learned his lesson on that.

But what about Heart Pirates? They love him! He clearly protects and deeply cares for them, but in each scene he is with them, not counting Bepo, he keeps them at a distance. I do believe Law treats his crew more or less on equal terms, he favours freedom after all, but their relationship is restricted by his fear and makes it significantly more asymmetrical than the one Luffy has with his crew. I do think Penguin and Shachi are more important to Law than the rest of his crew, they're best friends, they've formed the Heart Pirates together, but he doesn't allow them to be on touchy feely basis with him. That's reserved for Bepo. Bepo is basically the last safe haven Law allowed himself to have up until Strawhats happened.

Law at Sabaody creates three new bonds with people: with two supernovas and Jean Bart. The latter he takes into his crew and I believe it's because Jean Bart has no other place to go, especially with Marines and Pacifistas running around the island. It's possible Law does it all the time and his crew (beyond the original four) got expanded because of that.

Law's bond with Kid started on a wrong foot, not only Kid judges Law based on prejudice and "bad rep" flying around about him, he also accussed him of lack of manners (triggering a flashback to Vergo), all in Law's hearing range. It's not really surprising later on Law doesn't want to owe Kid a favour by letting Kid take care of the Marines. Law clearly doesn't want to be indebted to someone who feels disgust towards him (I don't think Kid is disgusted by him, but that's what Law thinks at this point). And even after Wano it seems Law made sure that they're even, none is indebted to the other. For Law it was just a temporary alliance, he kept his distance, they didn't end up becoming friends.

Last new bond Law created was with Luffy. It started indirectly at first, Luffy was defending his fishman friend. Things said about Hatchan triggered a trauma response in Law ("Don't come closer! Disgusting! He will spread diseases!"), in my headcanon freezing him in the spot. But Luffy defended his friend and indirectly also Law by punching the Celestial Dragon, in similar fashion to Corazon defending Law by punching the doctors spouting similar prejudice about amber lead syndrome.

Law thanked Luffy for that and he felt safe doing so, after all what Luffy did was never directed at Law himself, but the gratitude must have confused Luffy to no end (Why is that guy thanking me? I didn't do anything for him!). Law didn't mind this bond at this moment exactly because it was so indirect, as a result he allowed himself to interact with Luffy and even took the first step, probably thinking it will lead to nothing. But he would never do it if not for Luffy's indirect impact on Law. If that's the expected level for casual bonds Law has set up, I doubt many occassions appeared for that before. It just shows he avoids people as a general rule, period.

But things changed after they left the auction house. Law is displeased with Kid, only telling him not to order him around and refusing to even talk with him, but his dynamic with Luffy is completely different, he doesn't feel bad about it despite being treated like accomplice in the whole Celestial Dragon incident.

He even allows himself to tease him a bit. There's no bad air between them. It almost feels like Law feels more emotionally available despite them being strangers, or rather exactly because they're strangers here and Law thinks they will also leave as strangers, which gives him the freedom to be more open.

They fought together, mostly by accident, but for Luffy that's enough to already feel a bit attached to Kid and Law. He declares he's after One Piece, implying from now on they will be rivals.

That doesn't earn him any response from Law. In fact, he just smirks and retreats without a word.

There are multiple possible reasons for his reaction here, but one of them is important right now: if Law said anything, he would acknowledge that bond, that of being a rival to Luffy. He didn't want it, in fact he wanted them to remain strangers, with no lingering attachments. That's why, when he got offered Luffy's friendship (disguised as rivalship, mind you), he turns back and retreats.

That's his answer. Later in Amazon Lily he also ends up retreating without even waiting for Luffy to say his thanks.

And how ironic that the next time they see each other it's Law who ends up extending his hand, not once, but twice: first by saving Luffy's life by risking his own, and second time by proposing alliance. I can only imagine Luffy's surprise: he got rejected before, but now it's Law himself proposing it! And what a funny guy he is, he doesn't need to offer friendship, because for Luffy they're already friends, after all didn't Law save his life? Law though just needed help, but wouldn't ask for it directly, because we know he never does that anymore, so instead he offered a bait. Frankly he didn't need to, Luffy would do anything he wanted him to anyway. Luffy ofc thought the alliance is a fun idea, but in the end he accepted it because it's Law who needed it to be an alliance, he wouldn't accept help otherwise. Also alliance felt impersonal and safe, without the need to be emotionally open.

There's so many seperate frames of Law just staring and thinking upon their reunion. He's conflicted. Also at this point their relationship changed, whether Law wanted it or not. He was there when Luffy lost Ace, saw him breaking down, definitely thought they now share something in common: they both lost people who were the dearest to them. I'm also sure he could see through Luffy's smile, he knew there's no way he would be already "okay" after just two years.

Unusual whimsical frame of Luffy. He closed his eyes, not listening to the words spoken, but instead listening to his own heart. He knows he needs to kidnap Caesar, that's what Law asked him to do, but Luffy doesn't just want to do what he's told, he wants to make sure the person he is doing it for is happy. It's a callback to Luffy's deepest regret: leaving Sabo with his family, assuming things would be better this way, without making sure first if that's something that would make Sabo actually happy.

Ever since Luffy does this double-check-for-no-regrets for all of his friends and crewmates. He follows Nami to Arlong Park and waits patiently in case she actually needs help. She questions Kyros' choice and goes to all the way to Rebecca to the castle just to ask her if she's really fine with staying seperated from her dad. And he does it here as well. Would kidnapping Caesar make Law actually happy, Luffy wonders. And probably thinks back to their previous encounter, in Sabaody, and Law's mysterious line after Luffy punched the Celestial Dragon: "Thanks Strawhat, you showed me something interesting". And Luffy found his answer and it's this:

Punching Caesar. Apparently Luffy did something right in Sabaody and he thinks it was about the punching, so he does it again now as well. Ofc he wants to punch Caesar anyway, but he does pause before doing that, he actually doesn't jump for it straightaway, it's AFTER he thinks about it. Luffy decided this is what would make Law actually happy, despite going against the plan. Luffy didn't believe following Law's plan will actually make Law happy, but punching his enemies will.

And yet Law doesn't look happy, but let's look more closely to his body languague. He turns around, doesn't declare his unhappiness directly to Luffy's face, he's making an emotional retreat again despite shouting. He's giving mixed signals. So was Luffy wrong?

Law is trying to hide his smile. Making sure no one notices. He's trying to maintain the distance and remain cold, but seems it's working less and less efficiently.

I will let you decide it for yourselves whether Luffy was right or wrong in the end.

There is more nuance about this I didn't even touch yet, for example the drastic gap between Marines fearing Law and calling him a monster, and Stawhats (minus Luffy), at first fearful and suspicious of Law, but it took them like 5 minutes to change their mind and trust him just like Luffy did.

In Dressrosa Law declares that, deep in his heart, he actually also wants to kick Doflamingo's butt. Luffy doesn't even act surprised upon hearing that. Of course, he knew already, Law didn't even have to say it.

While in Dressrosa Law attempts to break the alliance, send off half the Strawhats to safety and despite barely being able to move himself he takes care of Luffy in the final countdown. Almost like he already treats them like his own crew, keeping them safe. If you ask me, someone got attached. And the pinnacle of it is when Law shares with us that he aims to either live or die with Luffy (not die for him, unlike Luffy's own crew declaring in this arc). That's the best he could offer and he knows how much it's painful when someone dies *for you*, he wouldn't inflict that pain on Luffy again, not when he knows Luffy thinks of him as a friend.

And finally in Wano Law finally opens up more and lashes out at Strawhats, just like he did at Corazon. He no longer feels the need to emotionally distance himself all the time, or keeping it all bottled up behind a stoic cold facade and impersonal "alliance". That's how he shows his worry and affection, he considers them his responsibility in Wano.

He also admits for the very first time his fear of losing people. "The plan isn't worth anyone dying" (in this case - Zoro dying). He allows himself to trust and to be vulnerable.

If you think Law is torn about his growing connection with Strawhats, then you're thinking the same as me. He allowed himself to get attached and he didn't want to initially.

Is it really alright if I touch you too…? (ready to retreat his hand at any moment he senses it's unwanted after all)

His words are often rough and cold, but his actions speak for themselves. He trusts the Strawhats by this point, they're his second crew, and he would do the same for them he would do for his Hearts.

And now he has a problem, he gained more people he is afraid of losing. New friends.

[aerequets]

Ur art is such an inspiration and motivation for me, as a fellow artist. I’ve been following ur stuff for a bit now and I was wondering how you decided to draw loid, yor, and anya the way you do. I say this bc I really want to start making my own fan arts, but i struggle to take this anime style and have these character read as [insert character] without it being in a “anime style.”

And I guess this applies to any character you want take from a media, and translate it into your style. Bc i don’t necessarily think ur art style is considered “anime” i kinda just see it as an abstraction ig. But even if it is, it isn’t in the style of anime show is yk? Yet the characters read as who they’re supposed to be.

And I think a while back you u mentioned that you were struggling on decided how to draw loid. ig i wanna know How did you come to the decision that “yes, this looks correct and I wanna draw him like this.”

Is it finding defining feature and proportions? Just messing around until you figure something out? And I assume you make a character sheet to keep it consistent?

Like i literally go to art school but cant draw anything without a reference photo and it killing me 😔💀💀

Sorry for the yapp i’m just down bad rn and really love ur work. Please help be get out of the reference photo trap😭

Also sorry if this reads weird and has errors i’m sleep deprived and can’t bring myself to go back and reread

WHAIUGOUGH???? UR TOO KIND??? THANK U

i will try my best to answer below, but i dont think it is anything profound or super secret lmao

so i think that artists get really caught up with finding/establishing a style when they are first starting out. i say this because i was no different. to me it was like 'oh if i have a style then i am a Real artist instead of just a copier'

but like, i think that order is backwards. like the more that you draw things you enjoy, the more those drawings will become your own and in your 'style' if that makes sense. heavy emphasis on the quantity here. you just gotta go really at it. and the best way to do this is through sheer quantity tbh.

however at the same time, i dont really agree with the whole 'draw x things per day every day' thing cuz sometimes thats just hard man. i mean you mentioned you were in art school so you're probably drawing every day anyways, but for a hobbyist or fanartist (me lol) its mostly based on whether u feel like drawing or not. Which is why its rlly cool when you have a show/book/movie/anything you're really into which makes you want to draw more! it becomes something fun rather than a chore.

so basically, dont view a style as something you have to develop right away, or turn drawing into a chore, because that will be very counteractive trust me.

another important thing i wanted to mention, you said "reference photo trap" but ITS NOT A TRAP! USE REFERENCES!!! REFERENCES ARE IMPORTANT AND GOOD (i am assuming you already know this, but using references is not the same as tracing. just to make it clear)

this is another thing common with newer artists (and of course how i used to be), where you feel like you have to draw 'from your mind' for it to be an indicator of any skill. NOT TRUE!! you need to use references to get better!

lastly, to answer your question (as best i can lol) there was never any point when i decided 'yes this is it' when drawing. you just draw and draw and keep changing and growing. it is a little of everything you said (defining features, proportions, messing around) but it is also just drawing a lot and having fun! :D oh and i definitely do not have a character sheet. i am not anywhere near that organized LMAO

[ourfleur]

「Who Do You Belong To?」 [Johnny Cage x Fem Reader]

Summary: Being in a relationship with someone like Johnny Cage isn’t easy, especially when they have the same reputation he does, always so much attention always on you and your relationship. But maybe you can use that to your advantage, make them all know who this A-lister belongs to.

Tags: nsfw (basically just porn with a tiny plot lmao), semi public sex, au, dom&sub, switch reader, switch johnny, jealousy, possession, pet names (mostly baby)

An: hiii so this is my first time not only writing smut but also posting anything i write lol, i hope its not shit.. i pretty much only wrote this because i had this idea and no one had written anything like it so i wrote it myself.. anywaysss enjoy :3

follow my ao3

3 months. It had been only 3 months since you started dating the “infamous” Johnny Cage. 3 months and yet you were already more famous than 99% of the population would ever be.

You were still getting used to the fame, the constant cameras flashing in your face and the constant attention. You knew so many women would kill to be where you are, in the arms of Johnny, knowing that didn’t make life any easier. Constantly, new drama would stir up, rumours about you or your boyfriend breaking up or cheating on each other. But that… that was bearable. What wasn’t bearable was Johnny's co-star on his new movie. She wasn’t shy about wanting him and when the rumours started circulating of him ditching you for her she laughed it off and played stupid. “Oh really?”, she laughed, “I cannot confirm nor deny anything, it’s up to the fans imaginations.” That bitch made you livid.

This was supposed to be a relaxing day but you spent all of your time on Johnny's yacht reading the nasty and idiotic comments from the media. It was also extremely hard to relax considering the paparazzi was so close by, it seemed no matter where you went you could not escape them. But that revelation gave you an idea.

Getting up off the lawn chair you were lounging on, you pranced your way over to your boyfriend, who was occupied with writing his own movie. Taking the notebook out of his hands as you got on top of him. He was surprised at first but then smirked, eyeing the way your little body looked in that tiny bikini.

“Johnnyyyyy…” You whined while looking at him through half lidded eyes. Slowly, you grinded yourself on his clothed dick. “I need you right now.” You smiled, seeing the way his face contorted as you moved yourself across his lap. You leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I need everyone to understand who you belong to, so do me a favour and fuck me where they all can see.” You felt him hardening underneath you at your words. “Fuck, whatever you say baby.”

You leaned into each other, mouths crashing together in an aggressive kiss. Continuing to grind on each other while making out, only breaking to release some particularly intense whimpers. His large hands running all over your tiny body. Moving your hands down his chiselled abs, you reached the prize. Palming him through his shorts, which elicited the prettiest moans from his mouth.

Finally, you took his cock out, glistening with precum. You ran your delicate hand up and down his shaft, fingers tracing his pretty little veins and squeezing with just the right amount of pressure. You raised yourself up, letting him pull your bottoms to the side. You aligned yourself with him and slowly sunk down, making you both moan. You looked out across the water, seeing the many cameras, all focused on you and him. You began moving, listening as he moaned out your name. The way his thick cock stretched you always took you over the edge. You grinded your pretty pussy on him, over and over, not even paying attention to the poor mess of a man beneath you, only staring out at the cameras. Making sure they caught every glimpse of the way you could so easily destroy this big-shot A lister.

“No one else can make you feel this way, right baby?” You purred. “Yes.. fuckkkkk baby yes only you.” You could feel him twitch inside of you while he spoke, he was close. You frowned, “Well that cunt you work with seems to think she owns you.” You pulled yourself off of him, watching him groan with annoyance, his orgasm being denied. “What the fuck? I was close.” Cursing out your name. “Well it’s no fun if we just sit here…” You said, getting off him and leading him to the edge of the boat, your body facing the paparazzi across the water. You bent down in front of him, putting on a show as you pulled down your bikini bottoms. As you did he felt his mouth go dry at the sight of your cunt. You turned back around and moved towards him, arms reaching to grab his hair, suddenly shoving him down on his knees. “Be a good boy and eat me out while your adoring fans watch, maybe then I will let you have what you want.” Your sultry tone doing indescribable things to him.

He started by slowly nibbling and biting at your thighs, hands wrapping around them with ease. You groaned, “Don’t tease me Johnny.” Eyes staring daggers down at him. “Whatever you say…” And with that, he dove right in. His tongue flicking and circling around your clit in ways that could only be described as heavenly. Your hands dug into his hair, shoving his face closer to your aching core. He then moved his mouth down, lapping like a dog at your slick, his nose lightly grazing over your clit, leaving so much more to be desired. Your moans were getting so loud at this point you wouldn't be surprised if everyone on the beach could hear you. “Fuck Johnny, I’m close, you’re doing so good… You look so good on your knees.” Your brain turning to mush as you babble random praises, your orgasm steadily approaching.

And when it hit you were a mess. Moaning out curses and his name, legs turning to jelly. The only thing to stop you from collapsing was his hands, which were glued to your hips. After you finally regained the ability to stand on your own Johnny stood up. Licking the left behind slick on his lips with his tongue. You were about to bark another command at him before he interrupted you. “Agh fuck this. I can't take this anymore.” You were about to question him before he grabbed you, turning you around so he can bend you over on the edge of the boat. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Im fucking tired of this, it’s my turn to ruin you, sound good baby?” His voice sent chills down your spine. You nodded, looking at him out of the corner of your eye. He leaned back and soon you felt his cock between your thighs, gliding along your folds. Then, suddenly, the feeling was gone. You turned back to face johnny only to see him walking towards his chair. He grabbed his phone and then winked at you. “For safekeeping yknow?” He finally was back behind you, stroking himself a bit before finally easing himself into you. He groaned your name, taking you fully. You could hardly contain your whimpers when he started moving.

“You look so good on camera, fuck, you should star in one of my films.” He laughed, now moving at a pace all too slow. “I’ll only star in it if I get to fuck you in it.” You responded, releasing a breath that was somewhere between a laugh and a moan. He took his free hand and moved it to your clit, rough fingers circling it at an insane pace. The combination of him pounding into you and hitting that special spot inside if you and him rubbing your clit had you seeing stars. With the way you were moaning and the way your cunt was tightening around his cock he could tell you were close. “You’re so beautiful when you’re whining around my cock.” He chuckled. “F-fuck.. Johnny please I'm so close.” You stuttered out. Suddenly he grabbed you by your hair, pulling you back into his chest. He held the phone out in front of the 2 of you while beginning a relentless pace. “Smile for the camera while you come undone babe. This is your glamour shot.” You could barely focus on what he was saying due to the pleasure that was shooting through your body. He moved his hand from your hair to your neck and squeezed a little. “I said smile.” His tone was stern and that was the last straw. The knot in your stomach snapped and you came, making sure to look into the camera and smile, per his request. Your moans were near pornographic as you shook from your orgasm, falling back onto the edge of the yacht. He pulled out of you and you couldn’t help notice, he still hadn’t cummed. You turned around and glanced down to his still-hard cock and then to his face.

“You gonna come over here and fix this or what?” He questioned, smirking while he spoke. “I guess it’s only fair… you have been so good to me today Johnny.” You turned, falling to your knees. Now eye level with his length. You moved your hands to it, gently stroking your boyfriends dick, trying to see what reactions and noises you could get to come out of his pretty face. You brought your mouth to his tip, doing short kitten licks to his slit. You moved your tongue all over his cock, licking and tenderly tracing every vein with your tongue. “Come on.. don’t punish me more than you already have..” He begged, looking down at you with those puppy dog eyes you just couldn’t resist. “Grab your phone Johnny, let’s see if that whore will understand who you belong to after this.” He was taken aback by your request but nonetheless complied. The moment he started recording you were ready to put on the performance of a lifetime.

Never taking your eyes off the camera, you stuffed his cock into your mouth. Johnny quietly whimpered at the feeling of you taking him in his mouth but before he could savour it, you pulled his dick out of your mouth with a ‘pop’. “Don’t try and quiet those moans Johnny, I need to make sure everyone knows that you’re mine.” He nodded and you eased your mouth back onto him. Johnny had never seen something more beautiful than you choking on his cock. The way your mouth worked had him sure he was in heaven. His breathing sped up and he grabbed your hair. “Fuck i’m so close, let me fuck this pretty face.” You nodded and he gripped your hair tighter. He was so rough, whimpering and crying out with pleasure while shoving his dick as far down your throat as he could. His thrusts started to become sloppy and before you knew it he was painting your throat white and releasing the hottest groans and praises. He pulled his cock out of your mouth and bent down to inspect his work. “You are so gorgeous, I can never get enough of seeing your little mouth filled with my cum.” He smiled, ending the video and throwing his phone to the side while you swallowed.

Safe to say that the internet was going wild for a few months after the paparazzi released those pictures… and safe to say that his stupid co-star didn’t do shit like that again.

[put-them-thangs-away]

while i figure that out, not sure if anyone has done it yet, but i want to do a little dive into the basics of the tarot cards used in this jack & joker episode, now that i actually have a moment and can do more than just the basic off the top of my head readings. i’ll be using the golden thread tarot deck mostly because i like how concise it is and also its more accessible to me right now underneath my sleeping dog than my shelf of decks in my room lmao. this is gonna be,,,, real long probably so all the details will be under the cut, if you wanna join me for my rambling:

fun little sidenote before i get started: when i went to begin discussing why i love the use of tarot and nang’s characterization specifically, my card of the day that i drew was the Queen of Swords which is like 100000% The Nang Card™️ lol [complexity, perceptive, clear mindedness etc.]

“a woman of immense complexity, sometimes considered cold-hearted, but also sharp of mind and wit, independent and possessing great powers of organization and analysis.” i won’t go down the rabbit hole of sword suits as a whole bc that’s not the point of this post and so far the show hasn’t gone into minor arcana, so i’m just gonna say HMMMMM very inch resting timing,,,,, anyways,,,

now, of course i have to start with joke’s card and its myriad of double meanings. in just about any piece of media, if you see The Fool card it should automatically be flagged as a red herring. it’s meant for you to look at it and take it at face value based on the words and image…. much like our four little idiots did when first shown their cards. like JOKE YOU GOT THE FOOL BECAUSE YOU’RE A DUMBASS LOL! and he’s the joker so of course he would also be the fool, yes? unfortunately for our little baby clown, the actual symbolism of the card is childlike innocence and naivety, often to their own detriment. it speaks of blank slates, new beginnings, and the start of a journey. “he does not know the dangers that can beset him during his travels, and thus he stumbles forward with complete optimism, never suspecting that he may be walking in a thin tight rope.” oof yikes. sound familiar? nang rly read that boy for filth huh,,,, aside from the obvious heavy handed post-prison clean slate, we’ve also got the metaphor connected to jack’s forgiveness and starting their relationship over. there’s a lot more to be said here as well about how naive joke can be when thinking he’s doing the right thing and that his choices are for the sake of someone else, without clearly seeing the consequences their may be for that person as a result of his actions. at the risk of Never Shutting Up About It, i will have to make myself move on.

i’ll get into tattoo’s card next because it’s really interesting to me that he was assigned The World, which I kind of would have thought would be a card assigned to jack instead. i see what they were going for in this episode with it, i think, but it felt a bit shallow in comparison, so there may be more in relation to this that we have yet to see. as The Fool is the first card (0) in the major arcana, The World is the final card (21). this card symbolizes an ending of a cycle of life, specifically before the beginning of a new cycle of life. it’s an indicator of major and inescapable change. throughout this episode, we see the shift in tattoo’s heart and priorities being held up in comparison to their past heist through some pretty straightforward parallels, so from that angle, The World makes perfect sense. (especially since one reading of The World when in reverse is inertia & stagnation) tattoo wanting to run in and save joke when he thinks he’ll be caught in the heist is our window in to see The World changing. that being said i find it interesting that this card would be chosen for him since it sort of,,,, kickstarts the journey for The Fool and is generally somewhat,,,, final. so i’m just reeeaaaalllllyyyy hoping that this does not mean tattoo has to actually end his cycle in any way other than metaphorical for the other to continue. the man has grown on me, what can i say? 😭 we’re just gonna ignore all those warning bells in my head and choose to go with the “accomplishment and fulfillment from both inner and outer sources” reading. yup.

then we’ve got arun, whose card is The Moon, which is double fun because arun’s name means dawn/sunrise. there’s a lot of meaning that could be extrapolated here, but based on tattoo’s card seeming on surface level to be about the state of his heart and his involvement in this little found family, i’m going to guess that arun’s is the same. The Moon card symbolizes intuition, the unconscious, illusion, and deception. it can be read as a signal of something being not as it appears, a truth you cannot admit to yourself, instincts that we have buried in our unconscious, among other things. this card being chosen for arun actually actively makes me more nervous than tattoo getting The World lol. if we choose to read it at surface value, could just be that in this heist he had to follow intuition, and got himself turned around in the process (eagle statue etc), or just generally that he did not previously appear capable, but here he is helping this mission be pulled off. with the opening scene of arun crying about missing his dad and that,,,, not really getting resolved actually,,,,,, that makes me wonder about some alternate reading options, but like,,,,,, i don’t want to. so. Simply going to close my eyes on that one! no thanks!

then of course there’s everyone favourite head empty good boy, hoy, who was assigned The Star card. out of all the card readings, this boy got the most straightforward one and i’m trying not to read too much into that since they were all assigned by nang and my brain hasn’t quite caught up to [handwaves] whatever she and hoy have got going on over there. this card is symbolic of faith, optimism, and hope. so….. yeah hoy in a nutshell. not a whole lot more to add in there.

skipping The Heirophant card and The Tower card to come back to later because i have Some Theories there and they may make more sense after i go back and rewatch a few things

ANYWAYS if you read to the end of this thank you and i’m sorry please feel free to yell at me about it

[catscidr]

i. note — i was feeling a certain typa way because i kept coming across fics where the reader was described as busty so i wrote this in like two hours to make myself feel better lmao sue me…. ii. includes — dottore, afab!reader. no pronouns used, only descriptions of boobs/looking womanly (?) iii. cw — fluff, hurt/comfort, crack-ish bc this is a little silly, dottore is trying his best (maaaybe ooc), a little suggestive but nothing happens, talks of sex and oral, casual touching. MDNI. tldr reader is self conscious about their body and dottore tries to make them feel better lol iv. wc — 1,8k

It’s not often that you get to lay in bed with your lover; he’s always busy running around his lab, either fixing others’ mistakes or scrapping his own work to start over what he has spent so much time on. Dating the infamous Il Dottore was a challenge not many were strong enough for, but you made it work.

You would spend time with him in Haeresys by helping him with some tasks (even if they were small, and didn’t really need to be done in the first place). Handing him different tools when he’d wordlessly ask for them while neck deep in the guts of a Ruin Guard, carefully organizing old reports and documents in his desk that would never see the light of day anytime soon, and bringing him a healthy meal to eat while he worked (though you would do that yourself, because Archon forbid he actually eats on his own accord).

So, given how sparse your time together is, of course you would make it count. Of course you would use that time wisely, go out for an evening to a nice restaurant, maybe even cuddle up on the couch to binge an entire season of a show you had been meaning to watch for ages but couldn't bring yourself to because you wanted to watch it with him.

You wouldn’t dare spend your evening together in bed, wallowing in your own self-pity while he sits up, reading a book you can’t even stomach the contents of.

...Except that’s exactly what you’re doing.

You can't really help it, though. You know how he is; diligent and hardworking, a man of his craft. You know he doesn’t have the time to entertain you and your silly questions and hypotheticals, you know he’s not too fond of sweet touches and words of affection. You know this isn’t your typical relationship, but you don’t mind because you get to be with him— and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Save for when you sulk and feel so incredibly insecure and inadequate for a man such as himself.

Humans have needs. You are human, and you have needs. Dottore is a human (to some extent, though still technically human), so he, naturally, also has needs.

The issue lies in the enormous, metaphorical physical gap between you and your lover. Naturally, Dottore is essentially married to his craft, so getting any sort of action is usually out of the question. You can get a peck or two out of him, one in the morning and one at night (if you’re even awake to feel his scarred lips gently pressing into your cheek), but that’s where the list of physical affection ends.

You’ve talked about your desires and boundaries alike when you first (officially) started going out. The discussion didn’t leave out anything sexual in nature either; though the conversation was mostly led by you, while he simply nodded and pitched in with a word or two every so often.

It’s not to say you’ve never been physical with one another. But recently it’s been happening less and less, and you’ve been finding yourself in this position a lot more often; curled into yourself, lost in your own thoughts as you picked out every little detail about you that you were certain weren’t up to his standards. 

It’s only when you feel him shift next to you that you’re brought back to your shared bedroom, away from the rainy clouds stuffing your mind. 

Dottore shuts the book in his lap, keeping his right hand’s thumb wedged between the pages. He peers down at you with a curious expression, silently analyzing your suspicious silence. 

“You’re quieter than usual,” he comments, tone as flat as it could be. You crane your neck back to look up at him, the duvet covering most of your face as you wrack your brain for something to say. 

After a second of opening and closing your mouth, you finally say something. “’M just tired,” you murmur quietly, nuzzling deeper into the blankets to sell your point. He hums in response, placing his book on the nightstand next to his side of the bed and crosses his arms in front of him, brow quirked up in disapproval. Piercing red eyes stare down at you, making you hold back a shudder. Archons, you’d never get tired of seeing him without that ornate mask of his.

“It’s quite abnormal for you, of all people, to be silent when presented with the opportunity to have a conversation with me, uninterrupted” Dottore states, watching as you tense in your little cocoon. After a beat you emerge from your safety, chin just barely peeking out of the edge of the duvet. 

“...I had a long day.” You avoid looking at him, a pout gracing your lips. He huffs in response and runs a hand through his loose hair. “Long day you say?” Dottore keeps his composure intact, remembering the moments you’ve whined to him throughout the day about how completely and utterly bored you felt. 

“Mm. Long day, right,” he brings one hand down to hold onto the duvet and pulls it down, making you reach for the blanket to cover yourself up; though your efforts are in vain. “What’s on your mind.” 

The way he spoke to you sent shivers down your spine, shuddering at the way he spoke in a way he would when making a statement. 

“Nuhh... nothing. Nothing at all, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shift in the bed to cover yourself, even if it’s entirely unnecessary. The tee shirt you wore covered you plenty, but without the duvet you just felt so... exposed. Especially with how well Dottore could read your body language; it’s like you didn’t even need to say anything (because you didn’t). 

His gaze on you never relents as he scrutinizes your appearance; your furrowed brows, your hair sprawled across the pillow- still damp from your shower- and the way your lip trembles almost imperceptibly as you hold back the urge to talk about what’s been bothering you. He hates having to metaphorically twist your arm to get you to open up, but if that’s what he needed to do to keep you sane, he’d do it over and over again. 

Dottore scoots his body down to lay in the bed properly and turns to his side to face you, icy hair cascading down his neck as he pulls you in towards him with a hand on your waist. You squeak, tilting your head back so as to not invade his personal space. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, softer than before but still with a demanding tone. You shrink, avoiding looking into his eyes. 

“Nothi-” 

“I’m not in the mood for games.” He says your name quietly, thinly veiled with an unspoken warning. 

With a huff you bite the inside of your cheeks, and finally relent. You speak quietly and without even an ounce of confidence, earning a sharp sigh from your lover. 

“I can’t hear you when you mumble like th-” 

“I’m flat!” you practically shout. 

Dottore blinks back the whiplash that hit him in the face, stern expression fading into one of complete and utter perplexion. You don’t elaborate, staying quiet as a deep flush takes over your cheeks. 

“You’re... what?” 

He stares at you owlishly, for once at a loss for words. You nod, sitting up to properly articulate your feelings now that the cat was out of the bag. 

“My boobs are small! I have no ass! I’m... I look like a door!” You gesture at your chest, expression looking entirely distraught as you vent your feelings out to your lover. Your shoulders droop down unceremoniously, lips jutting out in a pout as you stare at the wall to avoid crossing Dottore’s gaze. The sound of the wind howling outside of your bedroom window morphs into what almost sounds like a laugh, as if mother nature herself was cackling at your expense.

“I feel bad when people see you with me. I can’t... I have such a bad gag reflex I can’t even take a third of your dick in my m-” 

He cuts you off by placing a hand on your shoulder, frown etched deep onto his face. If you looked closely you’d see red dusting the tips of his ears, contrasting against his hair. 

“You’re self-conscious because you have... small breasts and a... sensitive uvula?” Dottore says, his tone completely void of the confidence he usually carried. Fingers comb through your hair, light and gentle, as he thinks of what he can even say in response to your confession. 

You sniffle, looking down at yourself. The shirt you wore did little to help your smaller cup size— and as you frown at yourself, you bring a hand up and place it over one breast. “See, even my hand can cover them easily. My body doesn’t have even a little bit of curves.” 

Although at a loss, Dottore recovers from the absurdity of the situation in record time. He shifts your body so you’re now facing him, and very casually slips his hands underneath your shirt to cup your breasts. He speaks before you can, cutting off the slurry of complaints you had ready. 

“Have I ever complained about them?” he asks solemnly, forcing you to look at him. “As far as I’m aware I never have. Why bother being concerned over something so trivial?” 

His hands squeeze them gently, making you squeak in response. The more seconds pass, the more ashamed and flustered you feel for even bringing this up. As if a man of his caliber would even care for something like this, how stupid do you have to be to think of him as someone that only cared for looks?

“Well, no, but-” another squeeze cuts off your train of thoughts,” -b-but the rest...! Men like women with a fuller figure, I can’t even give you a titjob!” 

The words that flew out of your mouth made his head spin, from both irritation and embarrassment simultaneously. He inhales and exhales slowly, dragging his palms down to your ribs, then your waist, until they settle atop your hips. 

“I’ve never asked for anything of the sort,” he sighs, observing the changes in your face carefully. 

“Yeah, but-” 

“No ‘but’s. Your body is fine. It does not matter how it looks like from the outside; your organs are working properly, and you do not have any abnormalities forming anywhere inside or outside of it. How your figure looks holds little importance to me.” 

His words sink in, and you feel your invisible dog ears droop to rest flat on top of your head as you glance down at your lap, shame ringing in your ears. Dottore’s grasp tightens around your hips, demanding for your attention to be on him once again, refusing to let you sulk as long as he could help it.

“Although, putting functionality aside, do I need to remind you exactly what I think of your body? Shall I remind you how you make me feel whenever I see you parading around my office? How my body reacts to you?”

Your lips threaten to quirk up into a sheepish smile, but your shame still ate you up from the inside, keeping you from reacting. Your lover hums and flashes you a wolfish grin, leaning in towards your neck to nibble at your ear, teasing the flushed skin. 

“We do have the rest of the night to ourselves, don’t we? Want to find out just how much your body affects me, my love?”

[erisweekofficial]

To kick off our creator highlight series that will count down the days until Eris week, we have @iftheshoef1tz! You may know her from one of her amazing fics, our bodies, possessed by light or from co-organizing the AMAZING @azrisweek.

👀 You can check out her work on AO3 and follow her on instagram here.

🔥 Need a good place to start? Check out what hath night to do with sleep, her favorite Eris fic that she's written. (It's SO good).

📙 Read more below to learn about Fitz's view on Eris and some advice for writing his character.

How do you see Eris evolving as a character in future books?

Eris is set up as both a foil and an analogue to Rhys - harsh fathers, harsh upbringings, the presence of a mask in front of others while still loving deeply. I fear that Eris will go the same way as Rhys, too, which is merely long-suffering yet kind and therefore that justifies everything he’s done, and he will suddenly be kind and sweet in a way that I don’t think his character (currently) is set up to be. I also just don’t want that man to be straight lmfao.

How do you balance canon and your own interpretations in your work?

The good and bad thing about writing Eris is that there are really tantalizing details about him, set against a backdrop of mostly vague information/general knowledge about Autumn and the Vanserras. Eris in all the universes I’ve written him is prickly, a keen observer, manipulative, prone to a superiority complex, and wary of trust, and I think these traits bear out in canon, from what little we know of him. That makes him really fun to put in Situations.

What's your favorite piece you've created featuring Eris and why?

I think my absolute favorite is What Hath Night to Do With Sleep. There’s always a little bit of me in everything I write, and writing Eris as this twenty-something guy unhappy with, unimpressed by, and honestly kind of stifled by his life is a feeling I am a bit too familiar with. I was a little afraid to take on Eris (after spending so much time in Azriel's head), but exploring his earlier life and getting myself in his head made it rewarding. Also, I managed to make him quite funny, which is something I'm not always great at conveying in my writing!

Do you have any advice for other creators wanting to make eris content?

Two things: one, write Eris the same in a straight pairing as you would a queer one. Always be vigilant for heteronormativity (in fiction and in your own life!). Two, make him smart! Bitchy is fun, but bitches can be stupid, too. (Hi, it's me.)

[bitchy-peachy]

Daily Clicks To Help Daily (among some trusted charities)

I was originally doing this for just my mutuals that I know desperately want to help but don't have the finances for it but since I will schedule reblogs for this daily, I will not shut off reblogs.

Now here I am ruining my bad rep again as an evil witch cos regardless of anything I say I want to help people in need regardless of nay sayers telling me not to. (Personality flaw of mine)

If you want to help Palestine financially this is definitely the place to go. Every click generates money through ad revenue and you can click multiple causes per day on schedule (which explains me scheduling this post)

I click on every single one of the links to generate money for them. They've gotten thousands of $$$$ to help multiple families in need.

Here are all the categories you can click for. It costs you nothing. Just a couple of seconds of your time and that's it. As I said before, you can click ALL of them once daily.

Now on to some charities since I donate around $25 to $50 monthly to these charities (amounting to $200 per month. I prefer donating to charities rather than gofundme asks, especially unvetted ones. I don't like picking or choosing who to help or not because they're scattered in multiple gfm or can even be scamming. So I stick to charities ONLY to crowd help many people at once rather than individual smaller groups)

Not all these charities are for Palestine but I will link them.

!!! DONATIONS GO TO PALESTINE, LEBANON AND JORDAN !!!

!!! TO HELP PALESTINIAN CHILDREN WITH MEDICAL NEEDS !!!

!!! HELP FOR CONGO !!

!!! HELP UKRAINE (and page also links to other charity efforts for countries in need)!!!

!!! HOPE FOR HAITI !!!

!!! HELP AND SAVE THE CHILDREN OF SUDAN !!!

Special note at the end under cut cos post is too long already. For non-mutuals that may have come across this. You don't need to read it but posting it just in case cos this is the only personally made post I'll make addressing this. Warnings for profanity.

I know I get repetitive but you don't have to have endless cash to help people. Just the daily clicks help people out especially when all those clicks come together in masse.

As I said before this was mostly for mutuals who want to help but feel they can't. Wanted them to see that even just a couple of their seconds can help.

Now I'm going back to my regularly scheduled programming of being mean, fandom content and occasional political content that gets people 🤬.

I don't like just spewing online as a form of "help" so I do quietly do charity work even though some racist people claiming to be on a certain side told me to shove my money (I now realized those are just vile right wingers that want people to suffer. Its disgusting what hate does. Don't let trolls take away your humanity. Be smart and not easy to anger like me)

Also don't want any racist assholes that want us ALL to burn touching this post. You make me physically ill no matter how much you lie about caring about any of this. All you do is sow division and make people not want anything to do with these causes and I almost fell down that rabbit hole and

I'm still kicking myself over letting these low lifeforce creatures, cos y'all can't be human, get to me. Sincerely eff off.

I hope others on the fence about helping due to feeling picked out come forward and start helping too as well. (Since I know there's good people out there)

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

Tumblr @justsome-di

Watpadd @justsome-di

Patreon @just some di (link on Tumblr)

AO3 @justsome_di

Updates every friday!

[what-even-is-thiss]

i've been reading some of your arguments for why you wouldn't be vegan and just wanted to point out that you have a lot of fallacy in your arguments. might want to do a look in there to make sure you are stating your morals/prose properly, and aren't using any arguments that can be easy to shutdown. appeal to tradition. appeal to futility and the argument that personal pleasure(taste etc) allows us to do what we want to others without consent to their bodies is a moral issue i don't think you align with but i could be mistaken. a lot of people who enjoy sex don't rape for example.

i also liked the taste of animal flesh and organs but realized my personal pleasure i got from consuming them pales when it is placed against the value of someone's life and what they have to endure for me to get that on my plate, it's easy to have a disconnect when you don't know. health, animals, earth all benefit from a plant based diet. a plant based diet can feed more people for cheaper, helping to end hunger.

you can say you cook "more vegetarian" but i implore you to continue your growth and align your actions with your morals and continue to strive for a plant based diet in the future. you don't seem like a cruel person but i could be wrong. i've been vegan for 15 years and i cook so many amazing meals and can tell you from experience you don't have to limit yourself to oatmeal. if you have time to watch/listen id implore you to check out gary yourofsky "the most important speech you will ever hear"

good luck to you on aligning your moral values with the actions you take daily/what you pay for.

Okay. Do you say these same things to vegans that wear cotton? That also kills a lot of animals. Like a lot of them. It hurts entire ecosystems.

There’s no way to buy stuff in our current economy that doesn’t hurt somebody or something. I know how to cook tasty and cheap and mostly healthy meals for myself and the easiest way to do that is with pre-cut veggies, eggs, and the occasional poultry.

Yeah I’m wasting plastic. Yeah I’m eating animals. Vegans eat almonds and quinoa. Those are bad farmed at an industrial scale.

Being an omnivore is natural and I don’t feel bad about it. If you look me in the eyes and ask me if I could kill a chicken the answer is yes. I’ve done extensive research on how to do it safely, actually. If the apocalypse comes I’m raising hens for meat.

Also comparing animal agriculture to rape? Couldn’t find literally anything else to compare it to? Really?