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kiliinstinct · 7 months ago

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Chapter 32

Rating: R Pairing: Nalu FF.Net || AO3 [Ch: 1] ||| [Prev] | [Next] Well, this was a doozy and took longer to update than I wanted. Special thanks to @phoenix-before-the-flame as always. And I'd also like to give another special thanks to @genavere for helping motivate me to get this chapter out. A few set backs had drained my inspiration for this and she helped put me back on track! See This Post For News About Future Updates The post linked above is an older one, so I'll also say this here, Flame's Desire Will be back with the Start of Act 3, but like last year, I'm going to take a 2 month Vacation from it to get my stuff back in order. So expect me to come back by the End of August! Enjoy!

Soft breathing broke through the quiet settling in the still room. The chaos that ensued mere moments ago still echoed in the minds of Natsu and Lucy; Both kept their distance from the other, too afraid to speak first.

Natsu sat upon the charred bed, head in his hands. Fingers dug into his scalp as he pulled at his hair in frustration. As if attempting to keep his broiling emotions under control through distracting pain. Holding back a pitiful whine, Natsu grew all-too aware of his reddened cheeks. Not from the magic that sizzled beneath his skin, just waiting to explode at the slightest drop in concentration, but at the shame filled embarrassment that rolled in his gut. Likewise, a similar embarrassment painted Lucy’s face. Sitting on a dust-covered chair in the corner, she twiddled her fingers. Unable to sit still, Lucy crossed and uncrossed her legs, eyes looking this way and that. Her face was burning, her neck and ears pounded in tune with her heartbeat. Searching for a distraction, she kept her gaze everywhere but Natsu. She couldn’t face him.

Not yet.

Both were too lost in the maze of their own minds to figure out what to do next. He could still feel her lips against his; Still taste the slightest hints of her on his split lip. The memory swam behind his eyelids, refusing to sink under the rest of his emotions. Her frame, soft in his arms —and the sheer comfort of having her close — made him feel empty at the loss.

He needed to regain control of his emotions before they clawed their way back up his throat and exploded another hole through the keep.

That was his goal.

It should have been his main focus, but this new development knocked him flat off his feet. He didn’t even have anyone to blame other than his own, impulsive self.

Lucy was a welcome relief that he desperately wanted to cradle in his arms and tightly hold onto. While concerned for his health, she had entered his room without pity, without fear — so unlike what he’d become used to over the last few days. Despite Makarov straining against his own injuries during his visits, it only served to fill Natsu with so much guilt he couldn’t breathe. And then there was Lucy… a balm he feared to lose after his days of isolation.

Once Freed and Levy had visited, mostly to reinforce the runes placed on his door. And though they attempted to speak with him, Natsu had stubbornly pulled the sheet over his head as they worked, refusing to speak with them. He couldn’t stand the pity in their gazes, or the way they tip-toed around him as if afraid he’d pop off a second time.

He’d almost done the same when Lucy had come knocking. It was too exhausting, too debilitating to continue seeing the results of his lack of control. He had been seconds away from shouting at his new visitor to leave him alone until Lucy’s voice broke through his discomfort like a siren song.

It took all the control he could muster not to tear the door off its hinges when he threw it open to see her.

The sight of Lucy gave him such exaltation that he reacted before his thoughts could catch up. Instinct needed to hold Lucy tight and let her calming aura seep into his very being until all he could feel was the gentle magic she possessed, pulsing beneath her skin.

In those span of seconds of holding Lucy tight, the warring thoughts in his mind went quiet and his vision clouded. What came next? … he… he wasn’t so sure after that.

It wasn’t until she bit hard on his lip, palm striking across his cheek, that sense finally returned to him.

Natsu released her immediately, eyes wide as the world froze. He struggled to put together exactly what he’d done while Lucy had spared no moment to scramble as far from him as possible.

When she had slipped in her rush, Natsu was coherent enough to steady her with a hand on her shoulder. But Lucy slapped his hand away with wide eyes. He was confused at first, uncertain why she would wish to run from him, but the sight of her sucking in air as if she’d been drowning, lips swollen as she shook, made Natsu finally step back. A part of him focused on her lips for a second too long before he realized exactly what he’d done.

He really fucked everything up.

Having the time to gather his thoughts and think clearly, Natsu stole a glance towards Lucy as he released his grip on his hair. Her face was still red, but carefully set in a neutral expression that gave nothing of her inner thoughts away. If not for her restlessly twitching fingers, he may have thought she’d gone numb from shock.

“I- … Lucy-” And words stuck like moss in his mouth, filling his throat and lungs until all he could do was stare at the floor.

Seeming to have better control of her vocal faculties, Lucy inhaled deeply as she replied, “I want you to start talking now. And you better have a good reason or else I’m going to make sure my hand leaves a proper mark when I slap you again. You can’t just give a girl her first - “

“I don’t know why I did that.” Natsu interrupted, words practically tripping over themselves as they fell out his mouth.

She paused, her neutral mask cracking, “... it … was a whim?”

��Natsu leapt to his feet in a flash, “No!” He protested as an underlying edge of panic filtered through him.

“Then what was it?!” She demanded. “Why-” “I don’t know!!”

Natsu knew it sounded foolish. Ridiculous even, but what else could he say?

Lucy’s mouth fell open, ready to respond in a fury Natsu felt was more than deserved. She had every right to tear into him. The scathing words he expected never came, however, as the words caught in her mouth, only to die a second later. She sighed instead, shoulders sagging as every ounce of her fury escaped through that one, deep, exhale.

Instead, she pinched her nose, eyes shut tight as she struggled to hold back a wave of frustrated tears.

Panic set in. He’d made her cry. Despite her attempts to remain calm, he’d done the one thing he never wanted to do. Reflexively Natsu stepped forward, intending to console her, but forced himself to stay in place a second later. She wanted distance: he should give that to her…. right?

It wasn’t right. Natsu didn’t dare offer comfort now . Not without permission. Indecision and discomfort settled sickly in his stomach as wispy tendrils of smoke curled off his shoulders. His words were useless, coming out faster than he could process as he struggled to say anything that could fix things. But what could he say when he didn’t fully understand his own actions?

“I mean, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy kissing you-” No, that was wrong.

“I mean, I never thought about it before until right now, but -” That somehow sounded even worse!

Growling, Natsu groaned as he tugged at a strand of his pink hair. The stone beneath his feet was starting to melt as the build of magic and emotion grew too much yet again. Ugh, why was this so hard? Lucy wasn’t responding, and he couldn’t look at her again, shame filling his gut like a cascade of stones. Frustration at his inability to explain himself made his eyes water.

What was wrong with him?

Ever since the beginning, he’d been pushing his luck with her. Natsu knew that. What started as duty turned to friendship and friendship turned to… he couldn’t put it into words. It was some connection that compelled him to stay near right until she’d screamed those awful words at him. Despite assuring him otherwise, Lucy’s panic over being touched still echoed in his memories.

It was his fault then. Reminding her of the horrors of their first meeting was his doing. And while he’d once promised never to give her a reason to remember, he’d broken that vow.

First nipping her when he was half asleep at the tower and now this? His knees buckled as he attempted to reign in his magic. How was he any better than the man that night? Forcing himself on her, saying things like–

Natsu stilled, eyes wide. He recalled his earlier words, pounding into his reddened ears, ‘It's about time you got here’

Why did he say that?

He suddenly couldn’t breathe. The heat of his embarrassment and shame was unbearable as he pleaded for her to leave the room. She shouldn’t be here. She didn’t need to see him like this. Natsu didn’t deserve the company, didn’t deserve the chance to explain – his thoughts derailed as Lucy moved, the chair clattering behind her. Grasping his face with cool, soft fingers, she kept his gaze on hers, lowering them both to the floor as she brushed the hair from his eyes. “Hey, Hey, shhh, calm down-” She said, brows knitting together at his answering, pathetic whine, “Your magic is going crazy, shhh.”

Battling with his broiling emotions and the struggle to breathe, Lucy stayed close, prying his hands from his scalp and holding them tight. The words she spoke melding into the background, muted by his own pulse. He clung to her hands like a lifeline, grounding himself as the steam continued to rise off his heated body.

Sweat beaded on Lucy’s brow, his own body heat treating the room like a mini sauna. Strands of her hair stuck to her neck as she powered through the heat. He needed to stay in control, before it became too much, before he -

He tried to tell her to leave again, but she stayed, mumbling quiet assurances that he couldn’t catch over his own, labored breaths.

Seconds turned to minutes. And with time, the air returned to normal as the steam dissipated. Natsu focused on her hands, glowing in a soft, ethereal light, blanketing him in a cold that soothed his magic. When his senses returned, tears were streaming down his cheeks and his body shook from the exertion. “... I’m so sorry-” He pleaded, exhaustion and hopeless desperation bleeding from his every word, “I… I missed you… And then you were here and I hadn’t seen anyone in days and I just- “

He just… what? How could he explain what he also didn’t understand?

“... take deep breaths,” her words finally reached him, talking him through the aching terror in his chest as her magic answered him. Lucy’s magic spilled from her fingertips, flowing freely in warm golden threads that pulsed weakly, wrapping his arms and torso in a soft light. The rhythmic thrums became a subtle call to calm the beast of power inside him.

Her voice pulled him back into focus, “That’s it, just keep breathing. Remember what you told me before? You’re okay, it’s going to be okay. You’re safe. I’m right here.”

Stunned, Natsu blearily lifted his head, confused,“But I-” “Yes,” She clarified, covering his mouth, cheeks still red, “You crossed a boundary, and we’re going to talk about it. But I need you to understand that I’m not going anywhere. You’re still my friend. I didn’t sneak up here just to run away. ”

Her firm declaration forced a startled sob from him. He curled in on himself, finally allowing the grief and guilt to escape him. All that’d he’d held back, the crushing weight of all his wrongs that he’d stuffed away cascaded down his face.

How long had it been since he’d cried so openly in front of another, without the cover of night to hide behind? Since he’d allowed himself to fall apart?

So many secrets, so many things he feared speaking of; And now his Chief, a man he saw as his own family, was permanently injured. The loss of control Natsu thought he’d left behind in a childhood he believed to be separate from himself was coming back to haunt him. And now this.

Lucy didn’t deserve this.

She didn’t deserve his lack of understanding, his inability to control his emotions, his touch, his — the sobs shook his shoulders and he held himself against her. He soaked in the comfort she willingly gave. Apologies tumbled from his lips over and over again until he no longer understood what he was sorry for. She took it in. He couldn’t explain it, but she held him tight and let his emotions spill out of him like an ocean until his eyes burned and the tears dried, staining his face.

When he could cry no more, Natsu held still, spent of his energy. His throat felt raw and bleeding and his stuffed nose was irritating. He knew his eyes hardly fared any better, puffy from his emotions. For a moment, Natsu wanted to cover his face, but he was too tired to move. He chose to wait for Lucy to make the next move, instead.

He’d crossed enough boundaries for one day.

The seconds passed by and Lucy, lost in thought, continued to run her thumbs over his scarred knuckles. It was….strange to see Natsu like this. She knew he had his secrets -everyone did- but to witness him at such a loss was a different thing entirely. It hurt to see her friend so normally full of life terrified of things he couldn’t name.

Just how much was he holding in? How deeply did his grief run?

Lucy didn’t have the answers, but whatever had led him to this breaking point could wait. As he'd done for her, she would help him over this hurdle even if it meant sitting with him till sunrise. Then she'd get answers.

Minutes bled steadily by, matched by the lack of circulation in her legs and the muscles twinging in protest. In response, she tugged him closer, pressing his ear against her chest and continuing the soft circles over the back of his hand that matched the beat of their hearts. A moment of hesitation hung between them when he tensed against her, and she feared he would bolt.

However, that fear dissipated with each labored breath that slowed and left her shivering from the differing temperatures. Slowly, as the tension lessened and his weight increased, she could feel him piecing himself back together—or attempted to. Even a shattered mirror would show the cracks once repaired.

“Natsu?” she hummed his name gently, enquiring.

Burying his face further into her shoulder remained the only answer he had for her, one she seemed to accept for the time. Grateful for the extra time, he focused on the scent on her skin—a distinctly Lucy infusion of spice and something that reminded him of that moonlit night on the beach. Breathing became easier, and his thoughts less muddled.

And that clarity brought a sigh to his lips. There would be no running away from this mess. Lucy was too smart and knew him too well. She’d give him a push, but he’d have to open up first if he wanted this cleared up between them.

“A lot…” —he swallowed through the pain and discomfort in his throat— “a lot happened.”

Lucy snorted, “I couldn't tell-”

“Oi,” He defended, popping his head up and pouting. “I'm trying here. Really.”

“I am, too.” Her voice, a soft caress to the tatters of his being, wormed their way into his chest and stoked the growing ember. Even with her thinly veiled threat that followed, “I’m trying hard enough to give you a chance to explain yourself while I weigh whether I should slap you again for good measure or not.”

Maybe not so thinly veiled, Natsu let out a low chuckle and motivated himself to finally put some distance between them. “I wouldn’t stop you if you did. Maybe you’d knock some sense into me.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a moment of reprieve to gather his thoughts—or tried to. He rocked back onto his heels and felt the pull of the freshly healed scars. “I wouldn’t know where t'start, if I'm honest.”

“How about explaining why you were moved from house arrest to an actual cell,” Lucy offered, scooting around to sit next to him and stretched her legs out.

Natsu ran a frustrated hand over his face and flopped back against the cool, stone floor—a welcome balm compared to the emotions stirring inside. “The actual cells are downstairs,” he explained, staring at the ceiling. “This is just the old man’s extra room. He thinks its best I stay here ‘til I get a handle on myself.”

“But he still hasn't told anyone else why,” Lucy interjected, the accusation already pouring from her lips. “It's like everyone who was there is keeping it one big secret!”

“...Probably ‘cause he wants to make sure I wont blow up a room again when he does,” Natsu said with a shrug.

“Oh right, that.” The reminder of the now gaping hole in the keep mollified her. “Why…?” She let the question hang unfinished between them.

Natsu swallowed, mouth dry, ”I lost my temper, and I– I ain't exactly right in the head right now, so I don’t blame ‘em. I scared everyone pretty good when I snapped over something stupid and got tossed in here. And I—it’s just—”

He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “Everything's all over the place, and I was just feeling too much when you came in. It was…good to see someone who wasn't staring at me like I was a bomb or something.“

”So…you kissed me because I don't expect you to blow out another wall?“

When she put it like that, he had to wonder why she decided to stay and not turn tail immediately. “No, that’s not…I mean…Yes? Or maybe? I was just feeling too much at once and my body reacted before my brain could.”

Her silence spoke volumes; he quickly raised a hand and continued, ”Don't take that the wrong way or anything! S’not like I'd have done that to just anyone who came to visit! But that doesn't mean I understand why that was the urge I had when I saw ya, either! ...Damnit, why is this so hard to explain?!“

“Because it's embarrassing, Natsu!“ she hissed, covering her face with a whine. ”VERY embarrassing! We’ve never done that before! I’ve never done that! We’re friends! Close friends, but still only friends! We can’t—we don’t—! We don’t even like each other like that, Natsu!”

“…But… I do like you.”

Lucy blinked through her fingers, “...Come again?“

“I DO like you,” He emphasized, scratching the back of his head and realized what his words meant. Not just for himself, but for Lucy, too. Everything slowed as he focused on emphasizing what needed to come across in a form of communication he always struggled with. “At least, I'm pretty sure I do. I’m just not sure what kind of like that is.”

“So you,” she started slowly, trying to understand clearly, “are not sure how you like me?”

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out, fixing his gaze on the wall ahead. “I can't say there ain’t somethin' there, I just haven't really thought about it, and—and after what—'' Lucy heard the click of his teeth as he quickly shut his mouth, backtracking on his words. “ I put you in a weird spot. If you still wanna hit me, you can. I deserve it.”

“No!” She felt him pulling away and felt trepidation choke her. “It’s just...I guess that makes sense?” Her voice wavered, the words more of a squeaking sound. But, a weird sense of satisfaction pushed down the panic earlier as she watched color creep up the back of Natsu’s neck.

It also brought clarification.

Why wouldn’t it make sense, she mentally chastised. Since they had met, every interaction, every emotion that they shared had been carefully tucked away. A connection born from when he had seen her at her worst, and helped her to find her footing in a new place that she wanted to call home so badly. They were…close but even Lucy had to question herself in moments of solitude. Her swiftness in seeking him out when things felt off, the peace his presence often brought.

Their friends could view what they had however they wanted. Tease them from an outsider's perspective.

She had never thought of it beyond the line she firmly drew. Nor did she want to before.

“I’m confusing myself,” Natsu muttered after some time.

Lucy coughed out a helpless laugh, burying her face in her hair. “This is…not how I was expecting all this to go. It’s…” She hesitated, searching for the right word. “...awkward…”

And that was an understatement if either of them ever heard one.

“I’m not happy about what you did.” The words were forced, her lips pursed together as tightly as the grip of her fingers on her skirt. But the words rang true, the bitter taste of lies nowhere to be found.

Natsu mumbled, eyes lowered. “I know.”

Slowly, feeling consumed with emotions she still struggled to name, much less handle, Lucy allowed herself to take in the expanse of his marred back. Earlier, her mind could not grasp the discolored skin, the erratic scarring of Laxus’ magic that warped flesh and muscles. Every raised portion, each jagged edge looked painful even with the healing magic she could feel it doused in.

Would it ever fully fade, she wondered, reaching out to touch without permission.

The skin felt stranger than she had imagined. A softness that belied the truth of how it was imparted. Biting her lip, Lucy carefully moved her fingers to the only spot devoid of scarring over the whole of his back. She caught his gaze over his shoulder and felt the fluttering of her heart at the small glimpse of red on his cheeks and soon the back of his neck again—a similar color to her own cheeks, she knew.

“But it’s something we can move on from right? It’s not… this whole—” She waved a hand around between them, “—This situation between us isn’t what we expected. There is something between us, but, maybe, right now isn’t the best time when neither of us are in the right state of mind to figure it out.

She took a breath, and with a finger and a look, gave him a pointed warning. ”So, just don’t do that again without warning. And, I don’t know, ask first? Then it’ll be fine when we sort ourselves out.”

“Uh, yeah,” he said, stomach twisting and churning, “Yeah, I can do that.”

For a split second, Natsu thought he saw disappointment flash across her face, but it was gone too fast to register. It gave the distinct feeling of missing a step in the dark, but the relief he felt strongly overpowered the sensation. She didn’t hate him. She was fine. She understood, maybe. She wasn't going to leave-

He took a breath, trying to calm the inane spiraling he could feel pulling at his sanity, and focused on Lucy. Heat and iron warring in his chest at the tentatively hope blooming there.

“So,“ he prompted, “are we...good?”

Her smile settled the tension in his heart, the heat radiating outward and the iron raising him up. “Yeah, we're good for now.” Though he didn't have much longer to relax, as her attention turned back to the other elephant in the room, “But you still need to tell me exactly why you’re stuck in here.”

He groaned. Damnit, did he have to tell her all THAT too?!

Their conversation went well into the early morning. Once Natsu began, Lucy couldn’t stop asking questions. It wasn’t until the first chirps of birdsong reached their ears that Natsu cut her questions short, reminding her of the time. “The old man’s gonna be coming soon. He always drops by with food so I don’t eat alone. And he hasn’t been late yet.”

With the time fast approaching, Lucy didn't have time to process their earlier conversation or the retelling of events that happened the day before. What's more, she knew without a doubt that Natsu still hadn’t told her everything that had transpired.

Recalling the way he'd burnt her and the damage to his house, it wasn’t hard for her to accept that he’d lost control of his temper. What she couldn’t accept was laying the blame all on Natsu. Every situation lately had come up after the arrival of that Draconis, Gajeel. This stranger seemed well equipped with enough knowledge to poke the Natsu’ buttons with ease, which she said as much, pressing into the last few minutes they had until she forced herself to leave.

When Natsu heard the truth in her words, he fumbled, eyes darting to the wall as words tumbled from his mouth in quick succession. “And he was a jerk who said too damn much and pissed me off!” He snapped, flinching when Lucy pinned him with an imperious stare.

He skimped on the details of what Gajeel had actually said and she knew it, “... He uhh..I think he knows me, from before I came here. And he said some stuff about that…”

He hated thinking of it. The fact he'd lost sight of friend or foe in that moment, weighed heavily on his shoulders. He didn't want to relive it again, even to tell Lucy the truth.

So he didn't.

"...The others, if I asked them what he said, would that upset you?" Lucy asked cautiously.

Natsu knew Makarov had sworn them to secrecy, it was something the old man drilled into him on each visit, a constant reassurance that his secrets would stay just that. He knew this, but a horrified grimace still shadowed his features from where he lay, telling Lucy all that she needed to know.

Lucy sighed, picking at the hem of her skirt nervously before her final question, "Ok. Then will you tell me when you're ready? I'll wait."

He desperately wanted to say no. The vicious thought of how rumors of his lineage would spread through the village crossed his mind. No, Lucy would never do that, but what if she turned away from him? If he dared to tell her what lay buried away inside, would she still see him in the same light once she knew?

Natsu stayed quiet, nodding instead. She had given him a choice, not a time limit, and he'd tell her when ready.

Didn't she also have things she didn't care to speak of?

Her train of thought followed the same lines as the conversation abruptly ended. Both were unsure how to continue. While Natsu fretted over the details he wished not to face, Lucy reached for him, gently rubbing his shoulder.

"I know it's hard," She murmured, sweeping a stray strand of hair from her eyes, "when all the pain you don't want to think about gets brought up against your will. I understand. ... thanks for telling me as much as you could."

Natsu felt like the breath was stolen from his lungs at that moment. His eyes stung with unshed tears. He refused to cry again, he’d already broken down once. He'd burdened her enough with his lack of control.

"Makarov's gonna be here soon," He reminded, easing away from her touch. He grunted with effort as he rose to his feet, his shoulders tense with apprehension. Lucy looked as if she wanted to call out to it, but fell silent when he offered his hand. “You should get outta here before he catches ya.”

And that was that.

Lucy saw the dismissal for what it was and took the invitation, allowing Natsu to lead her out. But not before crushing Natsu in a tight, desperate hug that made the pressure in his chest better and worse all at once. He sucked in air like a drowning man when she released him, leaving behind remnants of her scent on his skin.

It was dizzying, but relief flooded him the moment the door clicked shut. He had too much to think about after today and his head hurt from the enormity of it.

Lucy, on the other hand, wavered behind the door as soon as she left. Something inside her screamed to stay, to keep him company and damned what Makarov said when he arrived. But she also didn't want to push her luck. They both needed a break, him especially and she...

She leapt back from the door as if it had shocked her, face flaming red as she thought back on their earlier conversation.

Did she... basically tell him she shared the same confused feelings he had?

"Oh god," She whined, panicking, lacing her voice as she rushed back down the stairs, "what did I say that for?!"

Fortune proved to be on her side. Too wrapped up in her racing thoughts to be cautious and hide her presence, Lucy raced down the halls. However none one was around to catch her when she finally made it out into the open air, cheeks still brightly aflame as she ran home.

Lucy thought of many things as she went. Every piece of information circulated from one emotion to the other. Her embarrassment would jump to worry, then to anger and frustration as she thought back to Natsu alone in that room. After blowing up so much of the keep, she understood Makarov's reasoning, but the Draconis' desperate tears as he clung settled against her skin like an invisible brand.

Natsu was suffering... That alone was enough to make her insides squirm and feel sick.

She thought, now that Kage was dealt with, that her odd dreams and premonitions of danger would be long gone, but these new developments overlayed that hope with a deeper apprehension.

Just what exactly was going on?

And that question, wrapped along in the seriousness of Natsu's explosive temper, circled her right back to her earlier embarrassment. Running a finger over her lips– the ghost of her own touch was nothing like the searing kiss that he gave – pulled her deeper into distraction. She struggled to ignore it. Skewed priorities, Lucy figured, but she managed to put the issues aside in lieu of eating the moment her home came into view.

Hopefully the Draconis had his meal already and maybe, just maybe, Makarov would realize just how strained Natsu was with this whole ordeal and change his mind. These were a lot of hopes that Lucy held tightly to as she thought over what dried fruits she had to nibble on for breakfast.

-Only for those thoughts to fly out the window as she opened her door and came face to face with the Chief, sitting calmly at the table as if he lived there.

"What the hell are you-" She shrieked, mind catching up with her just in time to change her wording, "Sorry! That... slipped out."

Amusement crinkled the edges of Makarov’s eyes as he smiled. And for the first time, the romni got a good look of the bandages covering half his body beneath the jacket. Though the table hid most of him from view, Lucy feared the wrappings covered far more than anyone would have liked.

Her earlier apprehension blossomed anew as she shut her door with a shaking hand. He shouldn't be here alone, she surmised. Not with injuries like that. Looking around the room, Lucy searched for any other intruders, pulling a laugh from the elder.

"You're right to suspect another," Makarov said, wincing as his chuckles stretched a sore muscle, "She's next door with Mirajane. Porlyusica wouldn't let me too far from her sight even if I ordered it. And she's interested in giving you another check up."

The ‘she’ll be back soon’ was left unsaid, but understood.

Well, that answered one thing at least. Lucy furrowed her brow, unaware her earlier shock had melted into aggravation. "... Natsu said you were supposed to visit. Whose with him now then?"

A brow raised, “So you've seen him after all, have you?”

Lucy cursed inwardly: busted by her own big mouth.

But fury spurred her onward, kicking respect out the window before she could collect herself, "No one ELSE was telling me anything, were they? I like it here, but the way you keep everyone in the dark while you deliberate with only a few people is almost TOO much for me! You know what? I'm not even sorry. Do what you want with that!"

An aggrieved sigh escaped Makarov as he deflated, slowly repositioning himself to lean against the table.

For that moment, he didn't look the part of an elder or a Chief. Just a tired, hurt man, with too much weight on his shoulders. He looked small. His eyes were downcast, tracing the grooves in the wood without a sound. Almost like a child being scolded.

It was almost enough to mollify her, but not enough.

"You make an excellent point," He said after a time, just when Lucy thought the silence between them would drive her to shout more obscenities at him, "and I'm willing to discuss this. In fact, that's exactly why I'm here. Please, sit down, Lucy, you shouldn't have to over use your magic in your own home."

It was a well-placed observation that made her realize just how tired and sore she felt. The magic she called to support her leg was becoming second-nature, but the drain on her body was immense after a full day of use. She slid to a chair and breathed in deep to collect herself.

It seemed, she was in for another long talk; She mourned the loss of getting a little shut-eye and a light meal.

Makarov wasted no time. Once she was comfortable, he cut to the chase, folding his fingers together as he watched her with a hard, unreadable stare, "I'd like to speak with you regarding your place here in the village. And whether you would consider leaving."

He waited for a response, unaware of his words shooting Lucy’s heart out of her body and into a dark void. The world dropped out around her, suspending her in nothingness.

.... what?

#Flame's Desire #chapter 32 #nalu #natsuxlucy #Lucy Heartfilia #Natsu Dragneel #Makarov Dreyar #End of Act 2 #please dont kill me #i swear the ending is not what you think

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dootznbootz · 1 year ago

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Hi there! Can call me "Mads" or "Dootz". I don't mind either way! :D

I am a Trashcat, member of the Worm family, and the god of cheese.

I'm into so many goddamn fandoms and I'll even slap-up things I just simply find pretty/interesting but probably the main ones as of now are:

Greek Mythology (Mostly Odyssey) MAJOR hyperfixation now. I am in love with Penelope.

Fairy Tail

Legend of Zelda

My main ships are OdyPen (OFC), Helen x Menelaus, nalu, gruvia, gajevy, jerza, and zelink (all)

Those are the main ones you'll find BUT like I said, search for something and you'll find it.

Avatar (both Last Airbender and Legend of Korra)

Fullmetal Alchemist

Pokemon

Gravity Falls

BTW, I get not wanting to follow me if you don't want random shit on your dashboard. You don't have to follow me to say hi and have conversations though! I'm on Tumblr to make friends, not followers!

Just don't be a piece of shit and we'll get along fine!

AO3 account:

(currently writing an Odypen fic (first chap is up), there's 1 Odypen snippet up. 3 Nalu fics (one isn't finished 🫣someday not anytime soon)

Always feel free to say hi! :D

Even if you're shy or don't always know what to say, I like to chatter and am always open to making new friends! If I become too much or something then let me know! (or give a one word message! I'll get it! :D )

My big ass essay I want people to see:

Fuzzy worm above was done by the lovely iroissleepdeprived !

Tag guide:

#Mad rambles : My posts or posts that I chatter in

#Mad writes : My writing/fanfiction

#Water Wife : My silly 3/4th Naiad version of Penelope who I love so very much

#shot by odysseus : My tag for my own Tagamemnon posts in general. The joke is that I love Penelope so much that Odysseus is shooting me like he would a suitor.

#my headcanons : ...My headcanons

#waiting for proteus : Seal tag for Menelaus! From book 4 of the Odyssey! :D

#save me morally gray circe : tag for anything talking about Circe and how she's cool as her fucked up potion making, terrifying, goddess self.

#essay : ... ya know

#Mad memes : most of my memes :P

#Mad character design : exactly that.

#GIFT : lovely gifts by lovely people 🥹

#___ Dork: my unique weird tag for fairy tail characters

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xxnashiraxx · 2 months ago

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24, 37, 53, 56 and 63 for the writer ask game! 🥰❣️

Thank you for asking, lovely friend! You can find the original post here!

24. Worst Writing Advice Anyone Ever Gave You? I don't have too many instances where I'd specifically reached out and asked, honestly I was trying to hide it as much as possible, haha. But I think the one that sticks out the most, through no particular source, would be to write all the time, constantly. That doesn't help you, it drains you and takes a horrible mental toll on you if you don't regulate yourself and take a break from time to time. I struggle with feeling like I should always be doing something, always be productive, but trust me- taking a nice step back from time to time can actually help waaaay more. 🖤🖤

37. How Do You Choose Where to End a Chapter? This is such a good question- I like to make a slight impact with my chapter endings and I guess, though it really isn't this complicated in my head when I'm doing it, is to play on an emotion. For romance, I could end on angst or longing, for complicated feelings and emotions I like to end on a realization or the struggle of further confusion and its resulting aggravation. I also like to pepper in little crumbs regarding an ongoing plot that hasn't been fully unraveled yet, mostly so the readers feel like they're wrapping their heads around the mysteries along with me. It's fun! But not always super clear cut. 💕

53. How Do You Spend Your Time When it Comes to Fanfiction? Are You Primarily a Fic Reader, Writer, or a Perfect 50/50 Split of Both?

I have alternated and balanced this ratio out as time has gone on! Back when I first started in high school, I was primarily 50/50. Over the years I kind of lost my muse, or I'd write for myself very sparingly (maybe once a year or so, and less than 10k during that period) with things that I found interesting, but I didn't really delve back into the hobby until last July. I was a reader, consuming literally everything Nalu (Fairy Tail) until resuming a long fic I'd planned out 4 years ago and never finished. Unfortunately, or in other words, fortunately for me, I discovered Baldur's Gate, and after Astarion, there was no going back (rip my Alvarez Arc rewrite, may she rest in peace). Now I tend to lean more towards the writer portion since I'm writing my current long fic (With Stars to Fill My Dream) and doing some Astarion Kinktober prompts, but once this month ends and I'm on my longer post schedule, I am hoping to catch up on all the fics I haven't been able to read that are sitting in my browser (I have 30+ tabs open, it's ridiculous...)

56. What's Something About Your Writing That You Pride Yourself On?

Oh boy... I don't say this as a fish for compliments, but I'm not really sure I do anything too different from other people! I have heard a kind of general consensus on my horror aspects, and while I personally think they're extremely tame for my own standards and I know I'm my worst critic and think they can always be improved upon, that's something that really sticks with me. I have never published in the excess that I have now, and it literally means the world to me when anyone comments on anything they think sticks out when they read my fics. If I had to go with anything else, I'd say that my little details have really improved during the time I've been a writer. I've done many little links back to earlier conversations and imagery with callbacks in WSTFMD that I'm very proud of. I just hope it's not too obscure that people miss it!

63. Something You Hate to See in Smut.

Look, I'm really open-minded, and if anything isn't my cup of tea of course I wouldn't seek it out. That should always be established. Glaringly obvious things would be anything illegal, but going into the real bones, I'd probably have to say some "terms" for "areas" on the body being overused or out of place kind of bother me. I really don't have too many crazy ones here, I'm guilty of using some anatomically incorrect situations simply for the sake that it pleases me and I find it hot- nothing more, lol. It doesn't have to be 100% factual, it's fun and that's all that really matters! Unless you're hurting someone or doing something shitty, I really don't have a lot of issues. 😊

Again, tysm!!! 💖💖💖

#get to know me #answered 🦇#ask game

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igetthedisneybox · 3 months ago

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Any non encanto ocs you wanna talk about?

So many.

Since this is my Disney blog, here are some of my non-Encanto Disney OCs, the kids of the official Disney princesses. (I've been working on these guys since like 2017 lol)

Adelina, Bianka, and Glauco (Snow White's kids)

Lawrence (Cinderella's son)

Dawn and Day (Aurora's twins)

Melody, Aria, Cadence, and Harmony (Ariel's daughters. Melody's not mine, obviously)

Raoul and Vincent (Belle's sons)

Jenna, Rafi, Salima, and currently unborn baby (Jasmine's kids...but you knew that already lol)

An-Ming and Renshu (Mulan's kids)

Basil, James Jr, and Eva (Tiana's kids)

Westley and Wisteria (Rapunzel's twins)

Magnus (Merida's adoptive son)

Kay and Gerda (Anna's kids)

Eira and Frey (Elsa's adoptive kids. (Crazy how in the Invisible Truth they'd be related to the Madrigals....))

Nalu (Moana's adoptive son)

Alya (Raya's adoptive daughter)

Potential Asha/Starboy kid, but I haven't seen Wish yet, so who knows

I was doing some major edits for my non-Encanto Disney OCs, when I got bored and stopped. Might finish those if I got the time.

I've been also doing some work on the main story for the children of the 2D animated princesses (because 2D is way easier to make edits of)

I've been semi-writing/ mostly daydreaming about sticking those guys in a Descendants au, but probably won't do a full story about it. Might do some snippets, and maybe some Hannah Hook alt universe crossovers if you were up for it.

I will absoultley be doing some outfit boards for both the actual story, and the Des au...once I figure out how to do that.

Also, feel free to send any asks about the non-Encanto kids too 👉👈

#you told me how to make outfit boards I just gotta find the screenshot for it lol

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fairydares · 1 year ago

Text

Reminiscing on the Hard Road (A Gruvia Fic)

Rating: M

Summary: While on his way to a mission, Gray reflects on the hardships, tears, battles, and triumphs which led to him and Juvia finding their happiness together. (Or: the story of how they finally, officially got together told through memories).

AO3 Link ; FFNet Link

Words: ~8,000

Warnings: Please read with caution as this contains adult themes & situations (though nothing explicit). Also swearing and allusions to mental illness, dissociation and depression symptoms especially. Man this feels like the end of a drug commercial. Enjoy!

AN: I realized how long it'd been since I updated Chasing Tails and was feeling really bad about it. I'm so sorry, guys! I've just been really busy! I don't have time to get Chapter 5 up tonight, but I do have the time to share this Gruvia piece I wrote a while ago as a karmic sort of apology.

With that in mind, this is a bit of a rough, long one-shot. It comes from a chapter in a larger, mostly Nalu-focused fic which I may or may not ever actually finish writing. Sooo it's not even really a one-shot so much as it's, like, a segment of a chapter from one. I also barely had time to clean it up ever so slightly.

However, I thought Gruvia fans would appreciate anyway. Maybe one day, I'll write the whole thing because I honestly think it could be a story, or maybe a series of drabbles? This is all you kids get for now, though, lol. no fucks given (just kidding this will keep me up nights.)

o(O)o

Ignoring Natsu's whining about still being motion sick from beside him, Gray buried his hands in his pockets and let his eyes engage in their favorite past-time: roaming the curves of the blue-haired woman walking in front of him.

Him and Juvia had officially been together for over half a year, but his eyes still snagged on the same places they always had. The sway of her blue hair, now long enough to partly obscure the pinch of her waist and flare of her hips with each swish. The pretty, cute flush that lived on her cheeks as she listened attentively to Erza, who was chattering about a famous desert shop in the area. The way shadow and light shifted over the curve of her rear. And—forever his most favorite—the exposed skin of her legs. Long, toned, moon white...and fucking perfect.

Gray felt his cheeks heat, but couldn't find it in himself to drag his eyes away. The solidness and length of their relationship did absolutely nothing to diminish the novelty of her beauty, like he might once have feared it would. Instead, it hypnotized him more surely than ever. Noticing all the men drooling over her figure as they walked past, Gray was aware of the sting of possessiveness and annoyance which rose in his chest, but was also easily able to ignore it.

He was as comfortable as any guy with a stunning girlfriend could be in his own jealousy, these days. More shockingly, so was Juvia, a fact that was plain from the way she shot only perfunctory glares at the women eyeing him and whispering to each other as they passed.

As he stared at her back, his lips quirked ever so slightly. It had taken time, tears, and work—more work than he could ever have anticipated—to get to this point in their relationship. But work had never been more worth it.

His mind wandered to reminiscence. To where it had all started, when they had started, after the 100-Year Quest had ended and he'd finally—with Lucy, Levy, and Erza's help—managed to ask Juvia to be his girlfriend.

"Not just 'yours'," Levy had insisted, explaining that phrasing would confuse her. "Your girlfriend."

He'd actually fought them on it. Not really because he had a problem with commitment anymore (okay, it was a little embarrassing, but not too much) but because the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" felt ridiculous, considering everything they'd been through. How deeply he cared about her. For crying out loud, they'd tried to kill themselves for each other. He'd kill for her, die for her, and—most importantly—he would live for her. Beyond making his ears feel like they were going to melt off, the word "girlfriend" felt trite.

But when Lucy and Levy demanded to know if that meant he was going to propose, he'd balked. Actually, having the m-word shoved right up against his nose kind of made his soul flee his body. As ready as he was for a romantic relationship, he wanted to go through the actual experience of having one. Like, with all the steps involved. In order. He was at the point in his life that he wanted it more than anything.

More importantly, he wanted to give Juvia that experience. He was determined to do right by her.

With the girls' reality check, and the point they'd made that ambiguity might make Juvia jump to the wrong conclusion or even hurt her, they'd convinced him. He'd been committed to making his long-awaited confession as special for Juvia as possible, complete with saying any embarrassing words she wanted to hear.

Gray still hadn't felt worthy of the love she gave him. He still struggled to believe he was a man who could protect her. But after everything he'd been through during the 100-Year-Quest, seeing how much she'd missed him the whole time, and his talk with Juvina-sama, he'd understood it was completely unfair to ask Juvia to wait for him to decide he was worthy enough to love her openly. He also wasn't above admitting that Juvina-sama's suggestion that she wouldn't wait forever had disquieted some irrational part of him enough to make him antsy, impatient to make absolutely sure they were exclusive.

He'd been completely flustered throughout his confession, but known it had gone as right as it could. Lucy, Levy, and Erza—who thought they'd been slick, hiding in a nearby bush to watch him confess—had agreed. (Lucy had annoyed him to no end by teasing him over how "adorable" he'd been.)

And yet...Juvia's response hadn't been quite what Gray hoped. Lucy hadn't noticed it, but he had. He didn't know exactly when it had happened, but at some point, he'd learned to read the Water Mage like an open book. For how sincere a person she was—a trait he was all too familiar with—Juvia could also be surprising, even mysterious. As transient as water, with hidden depths you'd never know a thing about unless you were willing to dive beneath the surface.

When Gray confessed, he'd braced himself for joyous screaming. He'd planned to freeze a literal flood of tears before it could wash them both away. He'd been prepared to get a concussion from how hard she'd glomp him in the street. But while she had said yes, demurely accepted the roses, and hugged him plenty tight...her response had been subdued. In hindsight, he could see the pattern her reaction fit: the way her gaze had dropped to the street despite her happy flush, the hesitant, nervous gleam in her eyes, the limited verbal response.

The only times she'd ever acted that way had been when he actually reciprocated some of her affection. When he'd promised to give her a straight answer, after he defeated END. When he'd given her a one-armed hug and said he was glad her "body" was safe, after he'd saved her from that wood bastard.

Something had been wrong. But when the girls who'd spied on him only gushed afterwards, not seeming to have noticed anything off, he'd shrugged off his concerns, assuming it was his own lack of romantic literacy. He'd been nervous, but also really excited to learn.

But as their relationship officially began...it quickly became obvious that there was a problem, and that a one-sided approach to fixing it just wasn't going to cut it.

Juvia had always been prone to mood swings severe enough to make Gray's head spin, but as soon as they started dating, her mood seemed to sink. He'd try to ask her about it only for her to put on an obviously fake, cheery front and insist she was fine.

At first, he was sure it must be his fault. He'd had no idea what he was doing wrong. At that point, the guilt he felt for not taking Juvia's feelings seriously for so long, for abandoning her in Amefurashi Village, and for nearly letting her die in an attempt to save him had been taking a serious toll on him. The guilt had sometimes left him ragged. Every time she seemed down, he beat himself up and tried to do better. Talking, dates, spending time together (even when it meant ditching missions he really wanted to go on with the team), accepting her gifts and acting happy about them (no matter how much they creeped him out).

But the more he'd tried to make up for everything, the worse it seemed to get. He watched her frustration rise as he tried to be more openly affectionate, her denials that she was frustrated getting louder. More and more, she gave, but when he gave back, she'd look ready to explode or burst into tears.

What had made everything come to a head was the sex. A surprise in itself. For all the ways their relationship had suffered, sex had never been one of them. It'd started back in the cabin they shared in Amefurashi Village. From the first night they'd moved in together, Juvia had not-so-surprisingly tried to edge her way into Gray's bed constantly. She'd use excuses of cold weather, make puppy eyes, and sew nauseatingly pink coupley bed sheets to try to lure him (when, he still had no idea).

Meanwhile, he struggled more and more to pretend he didn't find (most of) her antics adorable. Not to mention incredibly tempting. Things escalated to where he'd feel his excitement rising towards the end of their daily training sessions, to the point his body became conditioned to react when he saw the damn sun set.

He also felt increasing dread at the notion of having to turn Juvia down—and for having to sneak out in the middle of every night to "take care" of the problem she always left him with (cold showers didn't exactly work for an Ice Wizard).

Finally, one night, she'd pouted and whined that she was sore from training and begged for a massage. Gray didn't know if it was the fact she was asking him for something instead of offering; the unbelievably cute, sparkly-eyed, hopeful glances she kept sneaking at him; or the fact he could tell she actually was sore from the way her face would pinch as she attempted to stretch provocatively in front of him, but his resolve had shattered.

Before he could think and without a word, he'd lifted his covers and held her gaze, not bothering to hide the dark promise in his eyes.

Her reaction had been priceless. He'd never forget it.

His acceptance seemed to knock the breath straight out of her. Her eyes had gone round as saucers, staring into his eyes like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her cheeks had darkened. She'd stood stunned for so long that he'd started to get nervous, wondering if she'd only been being playful all this time, not really meaning to come on to him or maybe not expecting him to ever accept. But just as he'd been trying to field the disappointment sinking his heart and trying to think of how to promise he wouldn't do anything she didn't want, she'd hesitantly approached the bed, trembling.

After giving her the massage she'd asked for, he'd rewarded her bravery three times over.

After that, for the very first time, the dynamic of their relationship shifted in one, important way—the one which would force him to finally confront his own heart:

In terms of their physical relationship, he became the more dominant one. In this one aspect of their shared life, he chased. Gray flustered Juvia. He hadn't been able to get enough. What had once been a relentless, one-sided pursuit (one where she had, admittedly, been gaining on him without his notice) became a dance which had addicted him before he knew it.

The notion of reciprocating her feelings had once had him running for the hills. So it had been a huge shock to learn just how much he liked it.

She was so obviously happy and disbelieving that first time he slipped her clothes off in the moonlit dark, cursing over her beauty. Utterly awestruck when he'd seen to her pleasure (twice, he still liked to remember proudly) before even considering his own. Sex was the first time he heard her speak in the first-person, the first time she said his name without adding "-sama" (since that battle in the rain, anyway.)

It was when he lost himself in her soft skin, her passion, and her pleasure that some part of him was able to accept the truth she'd had the grace to surrender to from the very beginning.

The shift in their sex life was also when he'd started to twig something wasn't right between them. After Alvarez was when he'd started it back up. His plan had been to wait until he was able to reciprocate her feelings verbally, like he'd promised, but almost losing her had broken him in a way some part of him would never truly recover from. Between that and his final, full acceptance of his own feelings, there'd been no restraining himself. He'd come onto her with all the subtlety of a freight train the second they were alone.

Even then, something hadn't been quite right. She hadn't been herself, quiet enough that—even as...compromised as his critical thinking skills had been, at the time, and even in his heightened emotional state—he'd noticed. He'd pulled back and asked if she was okay, but when her response had simply been to drag him back in for a kiss that made his knees weak, he'd taken it as a yes and matched her passion enthusiastically.

She kept staying quiet in bed. It bothered the hell out of him, and he badgered her about it more than once, but would ultimately let it go when she insisted she was fine. In his defense, there had been a lot of reasons she could've become subdued. They had just fought a war. They were all exhausted from fixing the town and working to build peace in Fiore.

But after the 100-Year Quest and after his confession, she got even weirder. He noticed it all the time, in every aspect of their relationship, but it was especially noticeable in bed, when they were so close to each other, both completely vulnerable.

When they'd cohabitated, he'd almost always been the one to start something. He'd enjoyed that. He'd even (hell, especially) enjoyed the way she'd flirt, pretend to be oblivious to his advances, pout and blush and make him impress her, coax him to the brink of losing his mind before finally caving to both of their desires. Those times where he went from prey to predator had balanced their entire relationship, satisfying both of them.

Gray wasn't some slimeball who needed sex, but he did need some balance in their dynamic. The private, physical side of their relationship was just where it'd happened to play out. It could've played out anywhere in their relationship, if they were off sex for a while for whatever reason.

But as soon as they became official, it became clear she'd fight tooth and nail to make sure that never happened.

She came onto him. Every. Single. Time. He'd been a little surprised, but happy enough. At first. But as he pushed her to talk to him harder and she denied louder, he'd started to guess that something was genuinely, really wrong.

She didn't speak in the first-person when they were intimate, any more. She didn't drop the "-sama." Even worse, he started to suspect she was seducing him even when she wasn't really in the mood. Almost like she felt like she had to.

It had been one such time when he finally flipped his shit. Even now, walking behind her and appreciating her curves, the memory made his mood falter a little.

He regretted how he'd handled things. It shamed him to remember how he'd all but shoved her off him and refused to do anything else with her until she was ready to tell him whatever the hell was going on inside that crazy, watery head of hers. It was an ultimatum. A cruelly-put one, at that. He hadn't realized just how hurt and angry he was until the words flew out of his mouth.

Juvia had opened up, alright.

In fact, she'd exploded.

They'd screamed at each other, horrible things Gray could hardly stand to repeat even in his own head. She'd demanded that he quit wasting both their time and leave her again, like they both knew he would. He'd asked how stupid she could be to think he'd do that, when he was obviously dedicated enough to put up with her psycho stalker gifts. She'd retorted that her "psycho stalker gifts" didn't seem to have any affect on his libido. He'd yelled that she was the one jumping his bones, ever since he'd asked her out. She'd said that was because she actually cared about his happiness, implying that was something he'd never understand.

She'd ended the black, ugly fight with four hoarse words that ripped his heart out of his chest: "This is over, Gray-sama!"

His apartment door had slammed behind her.

He'd been too shocked and devastated to do anything but watch her go, not even managing to stagger to the door and chase after her until she was long-gone. Black curse power had swirled across his skin as he pelted to the guild, growling in frustration when he didn't find her there. Then he'd run all the way to the female dorms at Fairy Hills only to be deterred by Erza, who met him at the gate. She hadn't known anything about his and Juvia's fight, but she'd been drawn by his yelling.

His older sister figure had knocked him out "for his own good."

The next afternoon, Gray had woken up in his own bed. Not bothering to see if he was dressed (it would turn out he wasn't) he'd booked straight to the guild only to be devastated by the news that Juvia had taken a long-term S-class quest just that morning, news which was delivered by a sympathetic Mira.

Sure that it was over, that he'd ruined everything, he'd drunk himself sick—then kept drinking, swinging fists at anyone and everyone who tried to console him until, finally, in the wee hours of the next morning, Gajeel managed to knock him out of it.

The hostility, Gray had expected. Gajeel was Juvia's best friend; of course he was angry to learn that Gray had done something to upset her so much, she'd left for a Quest that could take months or even years to finish without so much as a word to Gajeel or any of their other comrades.

What did surprise Gray was the understanding Gajeel eventually showed.

Gray got his ass knocked flat by the Iron Dragon Slayer. From his back on the ground, he started to spit out what happened. With each word, the larger man had visibly calmed. After enough had come out, he'd awkwardly helped Gray to his feet (his own, gruff brand of apology.) He'd helped Gray sober up, then he'd given him a pep talk.

He'd refused to explain his own guesses as to what was going on with Juvia, insisting "who knows what goes on in that water witch's head." But he'd also insisted that whatever was going on, it for damn sure wasn't what Gray thought, which was that he'd hurt her too badly for her to love him anymore.

"She's obsessed with you," the man had said, scowling in disgust. "She's always been obsessed with you. She's way too stubborn to let it go that easy. It's annoying."

By six AM, Gajeel Redfox—of all people—had talked Gray into chasing after the love of his life. He'd even used his Iron Magic to create a lockpick which got them into the archive room, where they'd found Mira's records...and Juvia's location.

He'd barely had the time to register the irony of her quest's location before he was gone, shooting Gajeel a gruff "thanks" over his shoulder and running home to pack.

It'd been raining when he finally walked into Amefurashi Village.

He hadn't consciously known where to start looking when he arrived, but his feet—following some combination of muscle memory and the fate he'd fought for so long—had carried him to the place where the word "home" had changed for him: the cabin he and Juvia had shared. Where they'd grown together. Taken care of each other.

Where he'd left her. Hurt her. Even if most of the reason to do so was because he wanted to protect her, he couldn't stop hating himself for that.

She was standing outside the place, drenched and shivering, when he got there. As if sensing his arrival as surely as he'd known where to find her, Juvia had turned to look at Gray with eyes that were glassy above flushed cheeks. She'd wavered on her feet.

As soon as she'd whispered his name, she'd toppled. Gray's bag had landed in a puddle with a splashy thunk. He'd lunged to catch her like his life depended on it.

Shouting her name had earned him no response, but pressing the back of his hand to her forehead had been enough to convince him that she had a seriously high fever.

Strangely, as worried as he'd been about her, he hadn't even thought to bring her back to Wendy or seek a nearer healer. In hindsight, he was sure that deep down, he'd realized it would do no good; she wasn't physically ill, but heartsick, just as he was. He'd felt lower than the mud gathering around his boots.

He'd been surprised to discover that he had to break into their old home, and rapidly deduced that Juvia hadn't been staying at their old cabin even though she'd been standing outside of it, both from that fact and the fact that none of her stuff was there.

As soon as he lay her in the bed which had once been his before becoming theirs, she'd begun shivering. For the first time in his life, Gray cursed that he was an Ice Wizard instead of a Fire Wizard.

He'd run outside, grabbed his bag, then come back in—only to curse again when he unclasped the bag only to discover that all its contents were soaked. Thinking quickly, he'd stripped his wet clothes, then hers. He'd climbed into bed with her.

"'M sorry, Gray-sama..." she'd slurred her sleep. "Juvia's so sorry...Juvia had to...I just had to..."

He'd shushed her, rubbing her arms to try to warm her up. "It's okay, Juvia. I know, my love. It's okay..."

He'd kept holding her and whispering soft comfort to her until she'd finally stopped shivering, at which point his frantic worry had abated enough that he could fully admit to himself how good it felt to have her in his arms, her skin against his. How warm she was. How perfectly she fit against him. How much he missed her. She was right there, as close as another person could ever be to him. Yet with how things had been between them lately and how lost she was to fever, he'd never felt further away.

Apparently, he'd fallen asleep at some point, because when he awoke, it was to the rising sun blazing at him from the center of the cabin window. Ignoring his body's reaction to waking up in the arms of the very naked, beautiful woman he happened to be in love with, Gray had instantly dropped his hand to Juvia's forehead, sighing in relief when it became clear her fever had reduced. She wasn't better, but she was getting there.

Quickly figuring out what needed done, he'd dropped a tender kiss to her warm forehead, murmuring a threat against her sweaty hairline: "You'd better not even think of running away again, crazy woman. We are going to talk when I get back."

Gray had dressed, glanced back, and left. He'd met up with he client—a rich and unfortunately good-looking asshole about Gray's age who was way too disappointed Juvia, herself, wasn't the one who'd shown up. Through gritted teeth, Gray informed the bastard it would be a couple days before he and his partner (he was sure to emphasize those words several times) would be able to begin investigating the dark guild threatening the area, as she'd fallen ill.

It annoyed him to no end that the creep seemed genuinely concerned about this, trying to insert himself, demand to see her, and attempting to coax Gray into revealing her location (Gray couldn't help the pleasure and hope which rose in his chest, when he learned she hadn't told this guy wherever it was she was staying; obviously, she'd had no interest in sharing that information.)

The client had thrown a rich boy tantrum when Gray refused to tell him anything, but ultimately let him go when Gray promised Juvia would be there in a couple days (not bothering to mention that he would absolutely be there, too.)

He'd gone to pick up medicine and food. He'd grabbed all the ingredients he could remember for something hearty, mild, and delicious she used to make him when they lived together, a chicken stew that tasted like something he could remember from childhood. Those ingredients, medicine, ginger tea...anything he could think of that might help her feel better, he purchased, barely noting price.

Juvia had been waiting on the porch wrapped only in a blanket when he returned, flushed with both fever and anger.

They'd both been pissed at each other. While Gray locked horns with Juvia's amorous creep of a client, she had apparently been discovered by the landlord who owned their old cabin and only barely managed to talk him out of his anger, ultimately having to pay double their old monthly rent to keep him from calling the authorities—all while wrapped only in a blanket.

A brief yelling match had ensued. It ended when Juvia began coughing rather violently, Gray dropping his groceries in the mud to run to her. Even as she insisted she was fine, he'd ushered her into the cabin, forcing her to sit before he went back out to grab the food he'd bought.

Her face had gone funny when he began grouchily unloading chicken, rice, broth, veggies, and herbs. When he (somewhat defensively) asked what the hell she was staring at, she'd haltingly asked if he'd bought all of that for her. Exasperated, he'd told her of course he had, she'd had him worried sick.

The groceries had been abandoned when she burst into tears.

It had taken several minutes of heart-wrenching sobs on Juvia's part and coaxing on Gray's for the conversation to actually begin.

During their ugly fight in his apartment, she'd exploded.

Here, in the lonely home they'd once shared, she imploded.

While the groceries thawed and dripped on the kitchen counter, Juvia sobbed the whole, messy, painful truth into his chest. She told him everything. She told him how, deep down, she'd always known she wasn't worthy of having her love reciprocated by him. It had been true from the moment they'd met, when she'd been part of Phantom Lord, but remained true no matter how long she'd been at Fairy Tail. That was how she'd put it: "I always knew I wasn't worthy of Gray-sama's love." Not only because of her past, but because of how annoying she was. How gloomy. How creepy and obnoxious.

Gray hadn't even had time to express his horror at the fact she thought those things before she'd been plowing on, her tears only getting thicker and her words only making his heart sink lower.

She said knowing she didn't deserve his love had turned to knowing she didn't deserve to love him at all, when she'd killed Keyes to free Gray's father from his undead life. But even though "Gray-sama had been wonderful enough to forgive Juvia," she'd continued to hate herself, deep down.

She told him that sharing a life in the cabin they were currently in had, for her, been the sweetest kind of torture. That she'd never been so happy—and never felt more undeserving. For the first time, she told him that she'd only had one lover before Gray, some piece of shit named "Bora" who'd never cared about her or her pleasure. Gray had been nothing like him, attentive, caring, and as invested in her pleasure as he was in his own. At first, feeling so cared for had been as overwhelming as it was amazing, but by the time Gray started to pull away from her for his mission, the overwhelmed feelings had slowly begun to fade, letting her forget everything but the happiness she felt with him.

Juvia told him that the day he abandoned her to infiltrate Avatar, everything which she'd started to believe could feel right began to feel wrong, and everything which had felt wrong began to feel right. She'd never felt she deserved to be loved by Gray the way she loved him. Being left by him had, in a horrible way, made her feel like the world was how it was supposed to be.

But it had also ripped her apart.

It had destroyed any confidence she'd begun to gain in herself.

She told him that she resented being abandoned. Resented not being told about his mission to infiltrate a Dark Guild, not just because of their relationship, but because she had once been in a Dark Guild, and could potentially have helped his and Erza's Mission. She'd not only felt betrayed on a personal level, but disrespected as a Mage with no small amount of skill and experience.

It was a side to the issue which he had, shameflly, never considered.

He was mortified when she'd finally let herself chastise him for this—especially when he'd tried to defend himself by bringing up details of his mission only to be instantly struck down and ripped apart by someone who was, in fact, very obviously more knowledgeable about the inner workings of Dark Guilds than either he or Erza ever had been. Hell, Juvia could probably have run the mission almost as well as Jellal had.

For the first time, he saw just how beneficial it would have been to have her on board, despite Erza urging him not to get her involved. He should've gone against her orders, asked forgiveness instead of permission. Over the course of that one conversation, it was clear that having her on board would have shortened the length of their mission by probably several months.

But worse than the benefits they'd missed out on, in infiltrating Avatar, worse than the fact that she resented him, was her admission that she hated herself for that resentment.

She'd apologized. So many times. Too many times to count. Each apology was another crack in Gray's heart. He'd tried to ask her to stop, but they'd just kept slipping out anyway. It was like she couldn't help it.

She'd told him that over time, as she got to know the other women in Fairy Tail—Lucy, Cana, and Levy—she'd realized just how unworthy she was of the care Gray held for even just his friends. She just hadn't been forced to confront her own lacking sense of self-worth...until he openly reciprocated her feelings.

She said that the second he confessed, part of her felt wrong. Like she'd donned someone else's skin—someone who was worth being loved by Gray. Her guilt, her knowledge that she wasn't worthy of him, her bitterness, her self-hatred...all of it had come rushing to the surface.

She told him that, as unworthy as she'd felt, she'd been too selfish to reject him. Too angry at the thought of him being with someone else. Her own selfishness made her feel even worse than before. She'd been determined to be worthy of him, and so she had sought to pay every ounce of love he gave her three times over. At least.

It hadn't made her feel any better. No matter how hard she tried to be sure to pay him back, every time Gray took her on a date or made love to her, it made her skin crawl, because she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve his love, his affection, or even his attention. He deserved better, and she was nowhere close to deserving him. She never would be.

If there had been even one last, single sliver of a doubt as to how he felt about this woman, it died then and there. Nothing—not his own guilt, being screamed at, or being broken up with—nothing could hurt worse than being made aware of what a hard time she was having. Learning just how badly she'd been dissociating during all their most precious moments. How much pain she was in. How little she thought of herself. How deep her scars ran.

He'd have given anything to take her pain away. He'd have given anything to change it. Right then, he couldn't think of a single thing he wouldn't have done to make her see herself as he saw her: the energetic, caring, fierce Mage he'd come to know. The woman who always eclipsed everything else for just a second, the first time he saw her every day.

He'd wanted to tell her all that, and more. He wanted to apologize. He'd wanted to tell her how badly he missed her after he'd left her here, that this place had been home for him, too. He'd wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, that no day without her smile even felt real, but his voice had been stuck behind a lump of misery and all he'd been able to do, for a very long time, was lay in their bed and hold her while she cried the rest of it out. He wasn't too ashamed to admit he lost a couple tears in her hair, too.

Over the twilight of time it had taken for her sobs to turn hoarse, then to whimpers, then sniffles, guilt, emotional exhaustion, an anguish washed over Gray in their turn.

Until finally, he hardened all of those feelings into resolve.

"I'm really thankful that you're here. For always being beside me..."

Those were the words Gray had said to her before Alvarez, and he'd meant them. For years, Juvia had done nothing but be there for him. Even when he didn't want her there, she stayed right next to him, quietly piecing together his heart and his trust. It killed him that the woman who'd confronted him with her love, made him face down his own weakness, always thought of him, and helped him so much more than he could ever truly thank her for had been hiding so much of her own pain. He wished she would have told him any of this all the times he'd pushed and asked.

But he couldn't blame her for that. Maybe she hadn't opened up to him before then, but her mentions of her days in Phantom and of that shithead ex of hers had driven home, with stark clarity, a realization he wished he'd made a lot sooner: Juvia didn't know how to open up like Gray had tried to demand, because she hadn't grown up somewhere like Fairy Tail.

Unlike Gray and Natsu and the others, she hadn't been taught to bare her pain, hadn't always known there would be someone to listen to her, cry with her, be on her side. While Gray had been fought, teased, and accepted for exactly who he was (more often his whole self than not) Juvia had been abandoned by every single person in her life except Gajeel and those who'd wanted to use her for their own ends. Gray abandoning her had only confirmed what she'd been taught was inevitable.

But the Ice Mage wouldn't linger on that. He wouldn't give any more time to despair.

It was his turn now, he realized. His turn to stay beside her even when it was hard, and do the work. Now, he just had to figure out how. But while he'd been trying to do that, had been gathering his words, Juvia had recovered enough to speak once more.

She'd apologized again. She'd told him that she knew this was too much, that all of this was too much...that she was too much. For the times they'd shared, she thanked him quietly, eyes bright with yet more tears and refusing to meet his as she continued that she'd had to let Gray go because she wanted him to be happy, and she'd finally, finally realized she could never do that for him, not really. Then she'd tried to push him away, and as Gray had tightened his grip, he'd realized he didn't need to figure out what to do, what to say, or how to love her.

She'd been showing him all along.

After a deep breath, the words had come low, and easier than he'd thought. He told her she was right, all of this was a lot...but also that he was so, so happy she'd finally told him what was really going on. He'd been as gentle as possible when he told her he could see how difficult and scary it had been for her to open up about all this and that he was proud of how brave she'd been for doing so, but she'd started crying again anyway, so he'd had to carry on with a shakier, hoarser voice.

He'd apologized. For everything. For not taking her feelings seriously for so long, for not seeing her when she needed to be seen, for leaving her behind and hurting her so badly she'd gotten sick. He hadn't been dismissing her abilities as a Mage so much as he'd been trying to protect her, but that was no excuse. "High-handed and cruel" was a generous way to describe his behavior, and he finally saw that. He'd told her that if he could take it back, he would. But he couldn't. He could only promise to never, ever leave her like that again, and he was more than ready to make that promise. He had been for a long time, since well into the 1oo Years Quest. If she'd only give him another chance, he'd show her.

At this point, Juvia had obviously started to twig that this conversation wasn't going to go how she planned, with Gray accepting she was too burdensome and unworthy for him and leaving her alone like everyone else had left her, because she'd started kicking up a fuss, forcing him to hold her there again.

"Let Juvia go, Gray-sama!" she'd demanded shakily, sounding like she was barely clinging to her determination. But Gray had refused. He refused to let her go like this, not until she'd heard him out.

As brief as the ensuing argument had been, it was also one of the most frustrating conversations Gray had ever taken part in (and he'd fought Natsu on basically every cock-and-bull-ass plan he'd ever come up with.)

He'd tried desperately to insist that while Juvia could be creepy and he did find rain somewhat gloomy, she was not worthless or annoying or obnoxious. He'd tried to tell her that she did make him happy. He'd tried to tell her how he felt about her.

Juvia had not responded well.

A wall had slammed up in her eyes, the same blank one he'd met on that fateful, rainy day so long ago. As she'd kept denying, and he'd kept pushing, their voices had gotten louder. Eventually, Gray had realized it was raining outside the window next to their bed again, and that was the one thing that had forced him to take a step back from his own frustration. Lucky, because if he hadn't, he might have flown off the handle and ruined everything all over again.

Looking down at her, he'd forced himself to cool off and realized he was being unfair; he was asking her to take an entire journey in one leap, to unlearn a lifetime's-worth of lessons about her own worthlessness over the course of a single conversation. No one could do that. It was an unreasonable thing to ask.

And so, when he'd finally gathered his wits and perspective enough, he'd said, "You don't have to agree with me. You don't have to agree with my feelings for you. But you have to believe that they're real...and you have to at least consider my side."

Juvia's eyes had gone wide. As they regained their sparkle, he'd refused to break eye contact. Slowly, the rain had stopped, leaving them in the silent hut.

After what felt like years, she'd shakily whispered, "O-okay."

And Gray had known that they were finally, finally getting somewhere.

Quietly and slowly, with their hands intertwined between their chests and their foreheads pressed together, they'd pieced together a fragile plan. They would stay together and be as they had been, but from now on, they were both going to make a concerted effort to be honest and rebuild trust. Gray started by admitting that missing out on Quests with his team had really started to bum him out, and while this seemed to sadden Juvia at first, she admitted after some thought that in being with Gray, she hadn't been nurturing her own friendships with her friends like Gajeel and Meredy. Lucy had also asked for help training her in Water Magic, and Juvia had declined so far even though she was interested in having someone to teach.

Gray had encouraged all of this...and he'd encouraged her to visit Porlyusica, too, when they got home. The old lady was hardly a Mental Healer, but she'd hopefully be able to help them find someone who was, someone objective and removed from the situation who Juvia could talk to openly. One thing which had sunk in fully for Gray over the course of Juvia's heartrending speech was that it was going to take a lot of time, work, and love to get Juvia to a better place. There was no way the two of them could do it alone.

They'd talked and planned until their voices were hoarse...and then they'd not talked for even longer. Juvia once again dropped the "-sama." She let him come to her. She didn't just surrender herself to him the way she had when they had each other before in their cabin, she'd given him even more—in his arms, she'd bared a small and precious part of herself Gray had never even realized she hid from him.

Over the course of the month they spent in that cabin, he'd cherished everything she gave him more than most men could've in twice the amount of time. How they'd managed to deal with that Dark Guild months and months ahead of schedule, he would never understand, because his head had never been less in the game. Neither of them had been able keep their hands off each other for more than an hour when they were alone together.

Neither had been particularly disappointed when that crotchety old landlord refused to give them back any part of their months' rent. Instead, they'd stayed till June was up breaking the place in thoroughly.

"It's payback for him being a jackass to you!" Gray had once playfully defended against her neck, pinning her against the kitchen counter and grinning as she gigglingly scolded him.

He only prayed no one ever took a UV Lacrima to the inside of that place. They'd go blind. He'd taken her on the couch, over it, against the walls, on the counters and tables, and in more positions than he'd previously known existed in that bed. When they returned home, a bunch of people had pointed out that they both looked like they'd lost weight. Gray didn't doubt it, after all the—

"...seriously, none of you know what it's like, every time we travel...OI, STRIPPER, YOU MAYBE WANNA QUIT EYE-FUCKING YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC, YOU GODDAMN PERVERT?!"

The absolute last voice Gray wanted to hear when he was thinking about such great, intimate things yanked him out of his reflections in the most unpleasant of ways. An expression crossed between a scowl and a grimace consumed his features.

"Gray-sama!?" Juvia spluttered, craning her neck to peer at them over her shoulder with wide eyes. She looked half-scolding, half...affected as her cheeks went rose red.

Gray felt his own face grow hot as he turned to glare furiously at the pink-haired, disgusted-and-disgusting-looking bane of his existence.

"Would you keep your voice down, Dragon Boy?! I was not 'eye-fucking' Juvia!" His cheeks burned hotter as an elderly woman passing by shot him a deeply disapproving look.

"The hell you weren't!" Natsu snapped, drawing even more attention. "I could see all your gross, perverted thoughts right there in those droopy eyes of yours!"

"ARGH! So what?!" Gray just wanted this fight to be over, and figured that sort of admitting to what he'd been doing was the quickest way to make that happen. "Can't a guy even look at his girlfriend without pink-haired, flame-brained losers getting involved?!"

"THE HELL YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"OH, SO YOU'RE DEAF AS WELL AS BRAINLESS, NOW?!"

"THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT! YOU'RE DEAD, YOU ICY BAS—"

"That's enough."

Uncharacteristically subdued and uninvolved though Erza's command was, it was enough to have both Natsu and Gray cringing and sweating in fear almost instantly.

"A-aye!" they squeaked, then sighed in relief as she shot them one last glare and clanked away.

"Ah, it always goes this way." Happy folded his little blue sausage arms over his chest and tsked. "If only Gray had kept his perverted eyes on himself, we wouldn't even be talking about this."

"And just how the heck is one supposed to 'keep their eyes on themselves', huh?" Gray growled up at the floating Exceed.

"By not being you, apparently!" he cackled back, Natsu soon joining him in his obnoxious guffawing.

"Why, you—! Get back here, you little shit!" Gray made a random grab at the little creep only to curse as he missed his tail by about a centimeter.

Meanwhile, Juvia clasped her still-red cheeks with her hands and donned an all-too-familiar, starry-eyed expression. "Juvia does not mind at all if Gray-sama...covets Juvia in public! How Juvia adores Gray-sama's passion!"

Gray flinched as if he'd been whipped in the back. In a second flat, he was blushing again. "O-oi, Juvia—!" he started, scrambling to find a way to get her to calm down before she came onto him in public.

(Again.)

"However," she continued before he figured out how to distract her, turning to look at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "If Gray-sama is going to covet Juvia on a public street, Juvia thinks he should at least wear clothes."

"Wha—?! CRAP!" Gray shouted as soon as he realized he'd stripped down to his boxers. "When did that happen!?"

Juvia wrinkled her nose cutely and giggled while he scrambled for his clothes. When he was finally yanking his jacket on, he shot her a playful glare only for his lips to quirk when she winked and sauntered after Erza.

That little...she'll get it later, he thought with a huff before shoving his hands in his pockets and strolling after her. He was well aware that he was full-on grinning, now, and didn't care in the slightest.

Little interactions like that...those were the fruits of all the hard work they—especially Juvia—had done when they got back from that S-Class mission. Gray had been prepared for it to be grueling and difficult, to fight. "Relationships take work" was a piece of advice he'd heard plenty, since he started asking for advice about how to love Juvia.

But what he'd never expected to find was that, while it was hard sometimes, it was work he was all too willing and capable of doing, because it was for her. For them. And what no one had told him was that, while loving someone meant their pain became yours, it also meant that their triumphs became yours, too.

Some days had been worse than others. Even though she'd been talking to a friend of Porlyusica's and made an impressive effort to spend more times with her friends, there were moments where Gray had felt like Juvia was back at square one. But he'd been there beside her, encouraging her every step of the way while she healed, learned that he wouldn't leave her again, learned that she was worth all of it. And slowly but surely, she'd healed.

That was what no one had told him: that every time she huffed at him to do his own laundry, teased him, sassed him into taking her on a real date, and even turned him down for sex, that he would feel such a huge rush of pride and triumph.

It was true that the road had been hard, but Gray had walked it with Juvia, and that had made every step worth it.

o(O)o

AN: Ah, sorry I don't have the time to edit this now and make it more cohesive! Also that I can't publish my next chapter of Chasing Tails just yet! I definitely, definitely will come back to edit this piece one day and make it better after I've done that. In the meantime, Happy Belated Gruvia Day!

P.S.: Fun Fact! I named this partly after one of my all-time favorite fics from a completely different fandom. The Hard Road by wthtonibelle, a Kacchako fic (from the My Hero Academia fandom) which is written in a similar way and has similar themes, only it's longer and better lol. check it out if you're so inclined!

#fairy tail #gruvia #gruvia fan fiction #gruvia fanfiction #fairy tail fanfiction #fairy tail fan fiction #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser

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bumblebeehug · 2 months ago

Note

Since talking about characters we used to hate.

As I said before. I'm new to the show and fandom. And There's some characters i wholeheartedly expected to hate before I watched it. (Mostly because of hearing others talk about it)

Including, happy. I had heard he was very annoying. But like what the hell. He's great.

Lisanna, Wendy,

HAPPYYYY he's the star of every show, the reason for me to live. He has never done anything wrong ever and I love him to death. I don't care if he's "annoying" or has "no character development" (yes he does, first of all, and second - he doesn't owe anyone character development. It's not illegal to keep being him, faults and all, because he's fine as he is!).

Lisanna was one of those poor characters that I hated in the beginning because she "got in the way" of nalu. Silly, but I was 12 so what can you expect, yk? But since then I've felt nothing but compassion for her. Her story was heartbreaking, how terrifying must it have been to find yourself in an alternative dimention where nothing's like it should be?

I actually didn't like Wendy at first either, but that's because we were the same age and they made her so childish (I hated being seen as childish, despite being a child) so it was mostly just internalised stuff. I quickly got over that, she's an amazing character, so sweet and unwavering. (Carla however is a different story - she aint my style, never has been, but I don't hate her either. She's just different!)

While I'm at it I might as well add that I hated Gray the first time I watched Fairy Tail. Mostly as a counter because my friend loved him and she had bad taste in guys, so there was nothing more to it. "She loves him so I GOTTA hate him or I've lost all my moras" type shi

#answering stuff #fairy tail #gray fullbuster #lisanna strauss #wendy marvell #happy the exceed #happy the cat #carla the exceed #carla the cat

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itssokiee · 6 months ago

Text

Smudged Happiness: Chapter 1

Author’s note: Fairy Tail high school au - but a little fucked up (feat nalu, jerza, gruvia, gale, zervis)

I feel like the true gen z high school experience never got shown truly accurate in media. They either went way over board, like Euphoria, or they were this kinda cringe middle ground, like Ginny and Georgia. Although it’s just a silly fan fiction with gross exagerations, I truly want to show an accurate portrayal about what it was like growing up as teenager in the later 2010s. At least for a suburban middle class.

Lucy is mostly the main character, but a lot of this story is told through the point of view of many different characters. Simultaneous stories happen at the same time, and sometimes a scene is told twice from different povs. All discrepancies are intentional as everyone is an unreliable narrator.

Lucy Hearfilia laid in a bed three times too large for her with her eyes closed yet fully awake. The empty space in her bed suffocated her and the sound her clock's tick echoed in her heartbeat's thud. After what could have been two minutes, or two hours, Lucy got out of bed and walked across the room to her desk. Her desk was handcrafted out of ivory and intricate designs were carved into the legs of the table. Lucy felt nervous with a hint of melancholy so she began to do the only thing that could help settle her nerves. She got out a clean piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

Dear Mom,

I am starting my Sophmore year at Fairy Academy this year. I am feeling kind of nervous right now and I know that if you were here then you would know exactly what to say. Truth is, I don't know what I am so nervous about, after all, I can't wait to see all my friends again-

Lucy smiled at the thought of her friends. She had not seen them all summer due to the trip to Europe she took over the summer. She had to admit that it stung seeing all her friends together on social media but she did not blame them. It was not their fault her summer was taken up by fancy overseas business parties.

I made a lot of great friends after I transferred halfway through freshman year. I am sure you would have loved to meet them, Mom. I expected to have a hard time finding friends due to my late start however, that was not the case at all. I made friends with the most beautiful girl I have ever met, Mirajane Strauss.

Lucy thought of her friend Mira, she was kind and beautiful, everything Lucy wanted to be. But behind her kind words and a beaming smile, she too knew the tragedy of losing family. Mira's younger sister, Lisanna, was killed in a freak accident when Mira was twelve and her sister was nine. She had learned about Lisanna's tragic end on the third anniversary of her death. On that day, everyone wore purple in remembrance of Lisanna. When Lucy had asked about the occasion, someone had told her that Lisanna had found a baby dove on the ground and decided to put it back in its nest. While she was climbing the tree, a branch snapped and she fell to the ground where she was impaled by a fallen branch. They said that the odds of her landing on the branch at just the right angle to kill her was one in a million. The story haunted Lucy and from that day forward, whenever Lucy saw a dove, she felt her stomach drop.

I also made friends with a girl named Levy McGarden. You would've liked her a lot. Like me, she shares my passion of reading and writing. We were thinking about starting a creative writing club at our school this year, actually.

Levy was the first friend that she had made when she transferred. Levy was working at the front office the morning Lucy transferred and noticed that Lucy looked lost. Levy asked if she was new and Lucy had replied yes. Levy walked her to her first class and offered Lucy to eat lunch with her and her friends.

Two of my closest friends are Gray and Erza. Last year, we all had our first period and lunch together. Our teacher was harsh and the subject was boring but it was the best part of my day. We always did projects together and met up at the local cafe near the school.

Erza is a grade ahead and the school council president - all the students respected and feared her. Gray is the carefree slacker who always props his feet up on the desk in front of them. Lucy never imagined she would be able to have friends like them. She smiled as she remembered all the fun they had in their first class together, Juvia's constant declarations of love that Gray never took seriously, going to the mall, and just hanging out after school.

However, never would I have had the friends and the adventures if it wasn't for my best friend, Natsu Dragneel.

Lucy paused and reread her sentence several times. Her best friend Natsu Dragneel. While Levy was her first friend, Natsu introduced her to all her other friends. He always made her feel included in everything that they did. She went over to his house almost on a weekly business, whether it was to study for an upcoming test or just to hang out.

Lucy began to reminisce on how they met. It was her second week of school and she still only had one friend Levy. It was fine, she really only needed one. The teacher called for a group project and wanted everyone in groups of four. Lucy figured that she would just join Levy, Jet, and Droy, that is until the teacher decided that she would assign the groups. Lucy still remembers the groups that the teacher had called out.

"Levy, Gajeel, Cana, and Kiana"

"Jellal, Mira, Laxus, and Bickslow"

"Freed, Reedus, Evergreen, and Mest"

"Natsu, Lucy, Gray, and Erza"

Immediately Natsu and Gray jumped out of the chair and yelled out, "WHY WITH HIM?"

After being scolded by Erza the quietly shrank back down into their seat. Afterward, the teacher gave them time to sit down and begin working on their projects.

"So who's this Lucy chick anyway?" Natsu said scanning the class.

"I sit right next to you, flame brain!" Lucy said in a tone harsher than she had meant.

"Chill dude, I thought your name was Luigi or something like that," Natsu said smiling.

They did not get a lot of work done the rest of the day and decided that they would have to meet up at Natsu's house later that day to get work done. Levy had come up to her at the end of class and apologized saying that her schedule got changed and that she could not sit with Lucy for lunch because she had library aid for the rest of the semester. Lucy smiled and said it was alright but could not help but to feel if she was back at square one, lonely girl with no friends.

When she walked into the courtyard for lunch, Natsu immediately called her over to come sit with him. When Lucy asked why he invited her, he merely smiled and said

"Were friends right?"

"Right."

Later that day when she got into the car of the Hearfilia driver, she told him to take her to Natsu's house instead of her own.

"Has my lady finally made friends?" the driver asked raising an eyebrow.

"Kinda," Lucy said, "we're just doing a project is all."

She got to his house at the same time as Erza and Gray. Erza reached over to ring the doorbell and then they waited in silence for a few moments. After a couple of seconds, a boy with jet black hair and piercing black eyes opened the door. Lucy began to panic as she thought that they had all mistakenly gone to the wrong place

until Gray said, "Hey Zeref, is Natsu home?"

Zeref sighed and opened the door to let them into the living room. "That idiot just ran off to the store with Wendy. He'll be back in about ten minutes. You can wait

here I guess."

"Zeref? Whose here? Some of Natsu's friends?" a girl's voice called.

"Something like that," Zeref called back.

Lucy went over to the source of the voice and saw a girl with blonde hair laying on the couch holding a video game controller. Instantly Lucy recognized her.

"Ha you didn't pause the game and now I am way ahead of you," the girl said smiling.

"You need all the head start you can get," Zeref said sitting down and picking up the other controller.

"You're Mavis Vermillion!" Lucy exclaimed. "As in, the valedictorian of your grade and captain of the volleyball team with a full ride to all the top colleges?

Friends with Yuri, Precht, and Warrod? You're practically perfect!"

Mavis smiled, "I am nowhere near perfect and a lot of those rumors are just exaggerations anyway."

Suddenly the door to the garage opened and Natsu burst inside.

"I'm back! And I bought supplies to help us complete our project! Oh, hey Mavis!"

A young girl came in the door behind Natsu helping him bring in some of the supplies.

"Oh Lucy, this is my cousin Wendy who lives with us while her mother is working in another country," Natsu said introducing them.

"Nice to meet you!" Wendy said smiling.

That memory of working together all night on a project was one of Lucy's favorites. For the first time ever, she had learned what it was like to have friends. Lucy looked back down at the letter she was writing to her mom. She no longer felt nervous, just relaxed.

Thank you, Mom, for always calming me down. Even though you are not here, I know that you are watching me.

Love,

Lucy.

Lucy then fell asleep at her desk after signing her name.

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