#this is long but idc bc a spy is a spy is a spy is a spy is a spy

[missholloween]

Spy again is such a roller-coaster and one of the strongest songs in the whole show, so this is a small breakdown I've done instead of studying <3

You start with Curt's sorrow, seeing what those 4 years had looked like (quiet memories, grief and booze). We also learn really quickly that Curt can't even get himself to saying Owen's name, to say what really happened to him. There are many reasons why a1p1 and Spies Are Forever (song) are vital to the show, but it is the only moment in which we see what really happened, that is acknowledged as it was. Curt can't bring himself to tell the truth when talking to Tatiana, only saying that "he was killed in front of him" instead of admiting thay he died because of him. He uses the passive voice, not the active.

After that introduction, we get to the first verse, where we see how deep Curt's alcoholism and grief goes. He admits that drinking is a way to keeping his head at bay, a way to deal with all the guilt he tries to ignore, his copying mechanism. I really like the line "you'll never get what's in my head, what I regret", as it's 1. A little tease of the DMA's "no gettin in here. I'm a steel trap full of secrets that would blow your fuckin mind" but most importantly 2. That song is being sung from Curt to himself. Curt doesn't want to know what's happening in his head, what he's feeling. Those 4 years are not only a mourning period as Curt himself puts it, but a disconnection with himself.

This leads us to the next part of the song, were Curt considers going back to spying for the first time. He firstly denies it, as he can't conceive returning to being a spy after Owen's death. Then, he negotiates it, pondering the possibility of returning to the spy life. And lastly, he finally let's himself think what would returning to his job would be like.

The next part of the song let's us see how important spying is to Curt, how much he longs for his job. We thus see the other consequences of the fall, and how many pieces Curt was really missing: he not only lost Owen, but his identity as a spy. Even if the first things he says are more superficial, like being in a jet, he also idolizes some of the abilities he lost. I find it really interesting that he says "make it mine again", admiting there's distance between the person he was and who he is now.

Then of course we get to one of the best acting bits in the song, with Curt's "me and my partner Owen! ... No". I want to highlight SAD LA's performance, as Curt drastically goes from a wide, genuine smile when thinking about Owen to the absolute devastation he has when he remembers he's dead. This once again shows how tied Owen was to spying for Curt, how much Curt loved working with him. Curt is listing Owen as one of the best parts of being a spy.

Curt continues talking about the issues he's had previously to return to his old self, how impossible it is for him to change. We also see some disonance between Curt self's image and who he wants to be thanks to the bear. As it is established in a1p1, Curt cares (or cared) so much about his appearance he didn't wear a useful tool because it didn't match his outfit. After the fall, he has given up in his image too.

The next mention of Owen gives us a little peak of what their relationship might have looked like before the fall: Curt is disgusted by his own actions, not being able to stop drinking nor fixing the broken shards of who he once was, so he turns to judge himself- But he does so through Owen's eyes (or at least of the Owen he remembers)... and the vision he has is really gentle. Owen wanted the best for Curt, he would help him out of rock bottom, he would want him to return to spying, their profession, the think Curt wants the most.

Because Curt might miss the most thrilling aspects of the job, the drinking, the high-stake missions, the glamour of it all... but he mostly misses who he was. He might not be able to get Owen back (or so he thinks), but he can be the person his partner fell in love with, the hero that saved the day with him, the best fucking spy to ever live.

In around three minutes we not only get Curt's want, but we also get insight on the 4 years between the fall and the rest of the show, Curt's psyche and even how his relationship with Owen was. What a great number, really, and how well does Curt Mega (actor) defend it again and again.

[therantspot]

we need to talk about sring venka rn. it's very important. so tw: rape, sexism, suicide, and war violence. also the entire trilogy spoilers. continue on your own volition. this is gonna be long af :)

she's one of the strongest people in this godsforsaken series.

and I'm not just talking about the fact that she survived days upon days of rape and seeing other girls around her being used and killed in the cruelest ways, which that in itself should've been enough to break her (the only other two survivors literally drank bleach bc they couldn't survive it) ESPECIALLY in the society she lived in. where the patriarchy is still in rule and girls weren't good if they'd been "used". another rape victim was convinced they should both die ffs. bc even if they didn't want it and it was the worst thing they'd survived they should be ashamed of it. it wasn't their fault, but the world would make them think it was. THAT is one of the worst things anyone can go through.

and venka pushed through it. not without suffering, even if we're not shown more than glances at it. she pushed through it even when she had to "get creative" at an abortion, and then her father didn't even try to understand. her family was part of that society that told her she was wasted goods now, and she bared her teeth at them and dared them to try her again.

she was never supposed to be a soldier. she fought for that too. she would've been a lady in someone's state, but she defied the norms in her family and got them to let her become what she wanted. that takes courage, with the norms that she was supposed to follow. she was supposed to be just a pretty face, but she decided she could be that with fangs and claws as well. she took no bullshit and handled business and people like that. she went to battle with a bright red lip on. she was brash and had no mercy bc the world had shown her none of that once she stepped on the battlefield.

sure she started off as a spoiled princess but she died a fucking general.

and I wanna talk about her death too. or the unanswered revelation we get before it.

I'm ngl, I suspected her at the beginning of the burning god. there were too many coincidences. and yet I liked her too much, so I gaslighted myself. she'd come too far. and yet... idk what I believe, not fully at least. was she the mole? idk. she could've been, but the more k think about it the more it makes sense and doesn't at the same time.

nezha knew a lot, that's true. she survived in the anvil when they probably should've executed her, idc how persuasive she could've been. but if she was nezha's spy, out to kill Rin, why wouldn't she tell him about the bond between kitay and rin? why would she suffer through the anvil and the south, and the tikany bombing when she could've stayed in arlong?

so idk if she was a mole, even if rins accusations I thought of as well. idk if she was behind the weirdly feminine character letters. I do know she didn't want to kill Rin, she truly was her friend. she loved her.

sring venka was one of the best generals rin could have appointed to lead the nation if she'd been in the right mind to actually do it herself. and I'm so sorry she didn't get to impose castration as punishment for sexual abuse

[kondensaduhhh]

TF2 Mercs: Cooking HCs

all the mercs can cook, theyre all grown men ffs, but they're just better at certain things than the rest of them

this long as hell😭😭 good god, didnt expect it to be this long

first of all; Scout. Scout can absolutely cook, i personally think that a single mother who raised 7 sons is, first of all, a badass, and secondly, will not tolerate any of that "Women belong in the kitchen" bullshit, she taught her sons how to do basic life skills.

while, yeah, Scout can cook, he cooks breakfast foods best. sure, hes a little flinchy when the bacon starts poppin' but nothing he cant handle. He makes the best pancakes, toast, french toast, bacon, eggs, hell, the mercs don't get it but somehow even the way Scout makes cereal and milk in a bowl was better.

he doesnt measure either, he just eyeballs everything, which was one if the reasons he could bake for the life of him, no matter how many times his Ma and bros taught him. he makes killer milkshakes though.

Pyro!! idc idc hes a grown adult, hes not gonna burn anything, least of all the kitchen, he's too experienced with fire for such an imbecilic notion. Pyro's the best at making desserts, not really baking, he knows the basics, but not really his forte. Pyro made everyone's opinion on jell-o turn positive, theyre just that good. he can make flans, hard candy, ice cream, if its a dessert he can probably make it. everyone's favorite of his tho is caramel popcorn

Soldier usually either burns food or undercooks it but for some reason only when it's a shallow fry, he's great at deep frying and grilling, like hes super serious abt it, like he never lets whatever it is hes cooking out of his sight, he doesn't set up a timer or thermometer, its like he just knows when the food is fully cooked, he almost looks catatonic as he just stands there completely still watching the food cook but immediately starts yelling at his usual full volume when some tries to sneak in a bite of the food that IS finished cooking.

the demoman. most of Demo's food will usually have a very vague taste of alcohol in it, barely noticeable, the other mercs only realise it when they find out who cooked it. Demo's food always tastes great, unfortunately he can only make it once and he won't be able to recreate it, they're almost always just random ingredients that he somehow turns into a masterpiece.

although, there is one recipe he can make completely the same without fail, and it's his mum's favourite soup.

the engineer is the best at baking, with countless family recipes memorised and tweaked by his engineering prowess, it really is no competition. hes on par with Soldier in the grilling department, used to be a problem whenever they wanted to grill, and the two would butt heads, Heavy always put a stop to it before shit got too out of hand. at the end, it was Soldier who was the main griller, and Engie settled on making the casseroles and biscuits.

when it starts to get cold, everybody (ahemscoutahem) begs Heavy to make soup. While being in the mountains for 20ish years, Heavy found a lot of ways to make soup, from thin, brothy soups, to creamy, sticks-to-your lips soups. Fortunately, they dont have to beg for long since Heavy is always happy to cook his comfort foods for his friends, and while yes he does have to substitute most of the protein, the mercs dont see a problem with any of it, even though Heavy says it's not the same because it's not bear meat.

Medic can cook, it just so happens the only foods he can make without the aid of a written recipe are German dishes. He doesn't have much of a relationship with food, but can cook, but he does like to experiment which often gets tested out by either Pyro (bc he can stomach pretty much anything somehow), Sniper (bc Medic still wants to know if the food is edible and Pyro kinda doesn't count, and Sniper is the least picky with food), and Scout (this is mostly bc Sniper called him a pussy when he commented on the food)

Spy barely, very rarely will make food for the team, but if his ego was stroked enough he just might make a French dessert where he would pretty much blockade the kitchen bc French desserts are 'extremely fragile' hes exaggerating ofc, he just wants the kitchen to himself. while he does appear to be quite cold to the team, he does care for them and will, occasionally, not always, make them smth to eat when he notices smth amiss, he wont let them know its him (but they know, bc who else would elegantly plate smth as simple as frozen waffles?)

and finally Sniper. Sniper, if alone, would only eat what is necessary, not very picky either, has and will eat scorpions again if necessary. but whenever its his turn to cook for the team he always cooks family recipes, he has a box filled with index cards with his mum's handwriting, ranging from bread recipes, to a 3-day marinated beef stew. he usually just cooks the pasta soup and rice soups tho for stretchability of the dish

[jamethinks]

Spy x family storyline (or fanfic idc) ideas

Transitioning: that brief period before Yor when it was just Anya and Loid struggling to get a long

Yor initially hesitates on marrying Loid bc she's not sure if she's ready to take on the responsibility of a child especially one who recently lost a parent. Loid tries to convince her but it doesn't work since he doesn't actually understand what it is that she is afraid of. In the end Anya is the one to seal the deal and convince yor she isn't intruding or anything

Anya keeps having nightmares about her time at the lab and living on the street and starts lashing out at everyone and engaging in concerning behaviors. No one knows why but they come up with reasons and try to help her but they all just make her angry. In the end, Franky and Twilight are the ones who are able to help her the most as they have the most amount of knowledge about her life and potential traumas

The time when Yor's parents died kind of comes around and she goes into a bit of a hole. Normally Yuri can pull her out of it but they're fighting now so Loid has to be the one to try and get her back to normal and process everything but in the end nothing works and he has to force her and Yuri to reconcile bc he's the only one that's gets her enough to help her

A weird mother centric event comes around and Yor is a bit on the fence on whether or not she should Anya's pick. On one part she wants Anya to honour her birth mom over the woman who married her dad so the sss don't book her for being a serial killer. On the other hand she's actually Anya's first mother and so Anya doesn't have a second pick but can't figure out how to tell her that so Loid has to fix it idk

Loid and Franky start fighting and Twilight says it's nothing bc they're not actually friends so Yor stabs him 162883 times he finally admits that he cares about Franklin and goes to make up with him. Now twilight has to accept he actually has a friend

There's a holiday event or something about veterans and the war and stuff and it causes an uptick in nationalism, patriotism, pro war anti westalian propaganda and the whole thing is very triggering for Twilight. Although he's been in Ostania for a long time this situation is a bit too stagnant for him and he's forced to sit there and watch everyone just spout nonsense. He ends up having a panic attack at some point (idk how we got there go away) and Yor ends up comforting him. This part is optional but there's a partial identity reveal where Loid admits to being originally from Westalis and is finally able to actually talk to someone about it

Twilight realises he's getting too close to his fake family and starts to distance himself from them out of fear of getting attached

This only works as a fanfic tbh but Twilight finds out Donovan doesn't like him. Not because he suspects he's a spy or anything he just finds him weird and a bit of a kiss ass so Twilight fights to get him to like him but it just keeps going wrong. Vibe check fails

Anya deems Damian a lost cause and tries to get close to Demetrius and it actually works bc Demetrius wants to be close to his brother so obviously his friends are a good way to get to know him. It starts with just Anya but then it expands to the entire friend group save for Damian and he is just seething and hates his brother for getting along with his friends. A sitcom level misunderstanding trope

Becky's mom and Yor hang out

[baekhvuns]

i get you, single life is the peak of peace and oh them drawings 😩🤌i can obsess over whoever I want, I can have 10 husband's without even getting married THE PURE JOY. Im not that big of a manhwa fan but I've read a few and i can assure you, I desire that type of a romance BCZ DONT YOU SOMETIMES WANT SOMEONE TO FALL SO CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH YOU?!?! They'd embrace you, they'd tell you how pretty you are and even when you'd say 'you might get get tired of me' they'll reply "you're like the moon honey, no matter how many times I look at it, it seems to get prettier and enchanting" 😭😭😭😭 BUT I DAMN WELL KNOW MEN ARE NOT FUNCTIONED LIKE THIS AHVAJABAJAB WHYYY?!?!

Yes my happy marriage!! I honestly get the hype arnd it!!

Speaking of manhwas or webtoons, I have a few of my favourites like daytime star Oh God it is such a sweet SUCH A FLUFFY STORY BUT THEN THE ML LOOKS LIKE THIS:-

LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR THIS ISNT ALLOWED IN MY HOUSEHOLD GODDAMN!! and he's the greenest flag ever. I've also read more webtoons like operation love and surprisingly I read see you in my 19th life as a webtoon and I still haven't watched the drama. I'm currently trying to read this manhwa called my in laws are obsessed with me, AND ITS COMPLICATED ALR?? IT IS! BUT! I looovvee the art style so much I'm on my damn knees AND THE BLACK HAIRED DUDE THERDEO!!! AH HE GV MY BUTTERFLIES 😭😭 I feel like this story is presented really good and i actually like the female lead in this.

I have one more and idk why but it reminds me how you write for some reason. It's titled "midnight crying crow" and the FL on this is a detective so strong, so sassy, and in general THAT girl and the ml 😭 he's an actor AND SUCH A DIVA OMG, and that reminds me of your written Seonghwa so much Bcz

I THINK YOU GOT POINT 😭😭

LMFAOO NOT THE SIDE EYE!! Now im def gonna watch it soon! Omg they are so long and bestie I started watching one piece a few weeks ago 😭 AND I MADE IT TILL EP 7!! See I struggle with watching too like idk how peeps watch a whole season in a day, I just can't but somehow i finished a few series.

Ohh honestly I still like comedy animes better so I'm suggesting baby Buddy daddies (i literally wrote baby daddies-) , spy x family (it's so good YOR AND LOID IS MY SHIP OK?), The babysitters club IT IS SO CUTE 😭 , saiki k, the way of a househusband THIS IN PARTICULAR BCZ IMAGINE AN INTIMIDATING MAFIA GUY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND AFTER MARRIAGE HE BECOMES A MANWIFE WHO LIKES CUTE THINGS AND JUST FOR YOU!??!? It's top tier!!

Ikr somehow pictures be motivating to get my life together even 😭 hell even stationary motivates me, i would've never studied or wanted to study if it wasn't for cute stationary!!

YES WE SHALL RISE!! IN THE NAME OF THE THE LORD PARK!

park peace no srs, no situationships just pure delusion <3 UHUH EXACTLY make them scenarios in ur mind and then giggle into ur pillow like 😭😭 pathetic but u KNOW WHAT BETTER THAN EVERYONE AND THEIR MEN,, NO NO I FUCKING GET U SO MUCHF WHKFHWK LIKE SAY THAT TO ME????? TELL ME IM A CUP OF COFFEE??? NEVER GIVE UP NEVER WHAT??? will forever make the men in my fics act like that, my delusion will go on

that man is so fine, the hair, the authority

I !!!! WANT !!!! HE !!!!

see now im trying to read day time star….why is it kinda dry 😭😭😭😭 crying fbwmfjwk iM not a huge fan of it atm 😭😭 SEE U IN MY 19TH LIFE I PREFER THE WEBTOON OVER THE ACTUAL DRAMA ANYDAAAAAY

NO BC I KNOW THAT ONE IVE BEEN RECCING IT AND ASKIMG EVERYONE TO READ THAT FIC BECAUSE OF HIM. THAT ART STYLE IS EVERYTHING AND WHEN HE BLUSHES?????? DROPPED.

WHAT THE FUCK. I NEED THIS MAN IRL ACTUALLY IF YALL SEE THIS, NO U DONT MIND UR BUSINESS 🔫 or read the fic,,, THE FEMALE LEAS IN TUIS IS SO GOD DAMN PRETTY 😭😭 THIS IS MY IT COUPLE IDC IDC THIS ONE WILL FORVER WIN

pls tell u ur reading secretary’s escape…

I WILL READ THAT WEBTOON !!! omg???? written hwa??? this is a must for me,, omg if u like detective type of webtoon a pls pls pls read the purple hyacinth, legendary chemistry almost like miraculous ladybug and chat noir type <3 yes. YES I GOT THE POINT BRWMBDSK

LMFAOOOO no literally i cannot watch it for hours long like i have up sailor moon in first 10 eps 😭😭

STOP I LOVE SPY x FAMILY,,, STOP IT THE WAY OF THE HOUSE HUSBAND I WAS SO OBSESSED W IT THAT I BOUGHT THE MANGA FOR IT 😭😭😭

wait i do not rmr if i rec-ed the remarried empress, yeah. an empress, remarrying, to a younger king? who’s like a golden retriever and the art?? LORD HAVE MERCY. my fav webtoons depend on the art, if i don’t like the art i don’t read it and this one has one of the best arts ive seen. SORRY THE DUDE IS JUST SO FINE FHFWMDJAKJ LET ME JIST SHOW U FBWMDWL hate her ex husband tho so he kinda fine but problematic

trust he looks even better in season 2 the art just keeps getting better!!!

men of harem is pretty good but it’s dragging along,,, PERFECT REVENGE MARRIAGE!!!! A MUST!!!! a good day to be a dog is also vvv ☺️☺️ and u can read lost in translation if u want to be depressed for the rest of ur life.

no literally!!! this reels w that same song and ppl studying got me like???? me too???

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

hii scam pls pls pls tell me about ur campaign. I’m starting my own soon and I would love to hear about what’s up with yours

HI HI !!!! okay so this is probably going to be pretty long and also disclaimer !! idc much about many dnd rules so if any of this 'shouldn't be possible' in a dnd campaign then too bad i am my own god :)

now to the good stuff :D

ALRIGHT. so i started with them in prison bc i wanted there to be a reason they would find the world in the state they did when they got out (time skip stuff yk). So basically the prison was a 1 week in there = 10 years in the real world world (they were in there for 3 weeks)

so once they got out everything was basically dying. the world is dying. there are these monsters that the townsfolk are terrified of (The Shadows) and they get tasked by the king to figure out why this is happening and how they can stop it (basic dnd stuff lol)

so they run into these Shadows, which they get a simple explain for sort of why everyone is afraid of it and this is where some of the knowledge the party knows diverges. as not everyone in the party knows the same things.

so my campaign is Very reliant on gods (i didn't make them up my own, just some of the dnd 5e gods lol) and basically these 5 gods (All chaotic evil or neutral) took over the world during these 30 years and grew to power. the shadows (and many other monsters/bad things) are effects of them and their powers (Illusions causing people to be paranoid, spiders, raging diseases, more betrayal and tricks, thieving)

so basically one of my players is working with the gods (like is an acolyte for them type thing. has been supporting them before they went to the prison) so they know much more about the gods and their effects than everybody else (they can roll perception to see if an npc or interaction is connected to a god also)

another player was basically being used by the king bc they have visions and now they know a lot of stuff about the gods because of their knowledge in the kings court. (they have been allowed to leave the area for the adventure by the king but they are severely traumatized anyways sooo)

and many of the other players have lost family members or other things (jobs, land, etc) because of this. so they all want to stop the gods, and they don't know that their friend in the party plans on stopping them before they can prevent the gods from their full take over.

this basically sums up a lot of lore that i've shared with players so far. but each player has a bond to a certain god in a way (whether or not they necessarily know that) and im introducing them into the different gods effects and monsters slowly (aka they fought spiders recently, then learned more about the spider god. then i introduced the illusions and that god. etc, etc)

anyways yes so their journey is to find a way to stop the gods while they actively have a spy in their midst and the world is progressively getting worse :)

feel free to ask questions or anything !! (open to anyone please <33)

[cherubsoda]

thinking about,,, making a dif tf2 insert just because

[heartandfangs]

NOT IF IT'S YOU— PART ONE.

GENRE University AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Smut, Fluff 

PAIRING Nerd!Heeseung x f!Reader

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Jealousy, Cursing, Making out, Arguing, Anxiety, Depression, Flirting, Mentions of food, Brief violence, Brief mention of alcohol, Brief mention of somnophilia, Crying (all sorts), Degradation, Breast worship, Multiple Orgasms, Squirting, Coming untouched, Heavy spit play, Light BDSM, Edging, Spanking, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Dry humping, Praise kink, First-time blow job, Ball sucking, Fingering, Cum eating, Ear licking, Biting, Public Sex, Light bondage, Dom!Heeseung, Brattysub!FemMC, Sub!Heeseung, Softdom!FemMC, Other OC’s

SUMMARY Befriending a nerd who wants nothing to do with you in a coding class you want absolutely nothing to do with becomes the challenge of the semester— and you’re determined to ace that shit no matter what.  WORD COUNT 29k (Fic Total)

AUTHOR’S NOTE Long time no see— it’s P, the romantic at heart! This one’s for the people who play otome games, whose favorite spot on campus is the library, and who are afraid to be loved but want to love as hard as they possibly can.

Enjoy my contribution to the tropey Uni AU genre! Also wtf thank you for 1k followers (If you’re a minor please unfollow me. Idc if that puts me way back under. If you’re not, thank you, and stay tuned bc I will do something to celebrate… once I get through 6 months worth of notifications rip)

See end of part two for author’s note cont.

Masterlist, Part Two

© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

“Have you ever gotten the random urge to give someone a blow job?”

You lifted your head from your notes, eyes wide and scrutinizing. Why did your friend have to be so damn loud in the library, of all places?

A scoff barely escaped your mouth before you dived back into your textbook, “There’s not a person with a dick on this university campus that deserves one from me. Why? Have you?”

“All the time, but especially when I’m on my period,” Rin confessed, “Hormones.”

“Oh, I bet.”

I don’t know how Rin finds the time to think about these things… 

Your friend pouted while drumming her pencil against the communal library table as if she could hear your judgemental thoughts. There were more important things for you to worry about, clearly. 

You sighed as you began to pack up your backpack to catch your most dreaded class of the semester, coding. 

It was an elective you immediately regretted taking, but you swore to yourself to see it through to expand your skill set. Unfortunately, it was just a week into the semester, and the horrid feeling that you would fail a class for the first time was way too real.

Rin continued to spew nonsense, “Maybe I should check this dating app—”

You slung your backpack over your shoulder and ruffled Rin’s hair on your way to the elevators, “You are a slut, aren’t you?”

“Please stop acting like you’re not,” Rin rolled her eyes and raised her voice just enough to carry over the bookshelves and be heard by unsuspecting students, “There’s only so many otome games one can play!”

“Shhh!” You hissed at her to shut up, eyes shooting daggers at the snickering girl.

She must’ve been spying on you every time you pulled out your phone to take a break. What did she have against your little games? After your first relationship went up in flames, they were a pretty decent replacement for dating and soon became an addictive hobby. 

They were great time-killers, required minimum commitments, and had a plethora of eye candy to choose from. Even if you did screw up, you just needed to wait a few days to replenish your lives. Plus, they all fit in your pocket…

And they could never break your heart like your ex had. 

‘I’m gonna kill you’, You mouthed at her over your shoulder while slamming your fist against the elevator button. 

Rin tapped her lips with her middle finger and sent you a flying kiss. Deep down, she hoped you’d come across a sweet boy for your own good.

While you stared at the colored lines of code on the monitor in front of you, determined to at least figure out how to embed one damn photo onto your website for tomorrow’s critique, your silent tablemate on your left tapped away at his keyboard with ease.

Everything about the guy screamed overachiever; it was 45 minutes after class had ended, and he was still working away on his project after everyone else had left.

Meanwhile, you were pretending to know what you were doing by typing in some random characters and then immediately deleting them. Being the anxiety-ridden person you were, you managed to work up a nervous sweat, your palms going numb.

Fuck, this is embarrassing. I should just leave and figure it out once I get home.

The student next to you didn’t seem to have any issues, but then again, the course you enrolled in was actually a combined class with different levels, and clearly, this wasn’t his first course in the subject. It was definitely an odd curriculum; you weren’t sure why you hadn’t read the class description more thoroughly. 

“Hi! Mind if I sit here?” You asked the student earlier upon seeing the closest open seat available.

The boy didn’t say hello, he merely spared you a glance, adjusted his glasses, then resumed the staring contest with his computer screen.

“Okay…” You said with a touch of annoyance in your tone. His eyes barely shifted to your face in response, and then he was back to typing.

His standoffish attitude from the moment you walked into the class and took the closest open seat next to him irked you more than it should’ve. 

It wasn’t until you sat down next to him that you were thrown off by how big the guy actually was, but even more so, the faint scent of sweet lavender wafting off of him. You weren't sure whether it was cologne or detergent, just that it somewhat reminded you of your favorite macaron flavor.

How unexpected. Well, that ruins it, you thought. 

Even if the guy smelled pretty damn nice, he was snooty in your book. If he didn’t have such an aloof attitude about him, you might’ve befriended him just to reach out for notes in the class in case you got sick. 

Rin often called you a prideful bitch, and you’d brush off her accusations, but deep down, you knew her words had some weight to them. Prideful was a fair adjective; your strong desire to handle your own business kept others at bay, which was great for someone like you who liked to be left to your own devices.

Though pride paired with stubbornness wasn’t necessarily the most beneficial combination when finding oneself in a pinch…

Nearly two hours of the class begrudgingly swept by, and you were still stuck on the initial steps, your brain utterly confused by the jumble of lines and coding rules you had to adhere to. It was a huge struggle to keep up with the pace the professor taught, let alone ensure the material stuck in your brain. 

It also didn’t help that the boy next to you had the audacity to pull up a window of manga on the side to read while you were struggling your ass off.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed at him.

Now, the class was well over, and you still managed to convince yourself to stay even though the shit your professor covered in lecture went in through one ear and out the other. 

After such a long day of stacked classes, your facade slipped, and you dropped your head into your hands. If you were honest, some of your pride slipped along with it. Since you were so busy, the last meal you had eaten was yesterday’s dinner, and you were starving. There were tons of other class assignments you hadn’t even touched yet. 

You bit your lip and watched the boy out of the corner of your eye, debating for a solid minute if you should ask for help. At this point, you were just wasting precious time that could be spent running to the nearest McDonald's for a burger.

In the name of efficiency, you decided to reach out for help from the person you least wanted to ask— but just this once.

“Hey. Could you show me how to add an image to my site? I can’t figure it out even though I tried to follow the directions….”

First, you saw the boy’s brown eyes widen ever so slightly before he looked over you in consideration. 

If he says no, I guess I’ll go fuck myself. 

“Sure.” 

Oh.

Feeling your heart flood with relief, you replied gratefully, “Thank you.”

You were taken aback when you watched him slide off his chair and drop to his knees by your side. He leaned over the edge of the table to take control of your mouse and keyboard, his attention fixed on the debauched code on your screen.

Really, you two could’ve just switched seats, but you decided to let him do his thing while you tucked your hands under your thighs and watched. Your brain was beyond trying to make sense of what he was inputting into your code.

Funnily enough, the silence between you two was even more awkward than it had been before you spoke to each other. Still, you refrained from distracting him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. 

After a minute, you decided to check him out instead.

Your eyes shifted between the computer screen and his calm, concentrated features since you hadn’t really gotten a good look at him before.

His black, wispy bangs hung just over his dark eyes, and his circular, silver-rimmed glasses sort of amplified their roundness. They held a touch of naïveté in them– but when you looked at him from the side, they were sharpened due to focus.

Admittedly, he had the softest-looking set of lips, the kind that anyone would easily be jealous of. The slope of his nose was just as cute, to your annoyance.

Your eyes trailed downwards to the pronounced curve of his throat, but just for a moment before returning your attention to the screen of code.

He was attractive in an unexpected sort of way.

It actually was kind of sweet that he’d be willing to kneel on the questionable floor of the computer lab to help you out. You wondered if he was trying to make up for ignoring you at the beginning of class.

“Is this the photo you want to add?” He hovered the mouse over the recent file in your downloads folder.

“Yeah.”

You must’ve really fucked up your code because the slowest five minutes passed before he clicked save on your program, and most of it you spent trying to act like you hadn’t been staring at him every other second.

The boy finally stood up with the slightest groan, and to your dismay, the sound went straight between your thighs.

Woah there.

“Try refreshing that,” He instructed while rubbing at his kneecaps through his jeans.

With the click of a mouse, you refreshed the program to see a jpg of your favorite Shrek meme pop up on your otherwise bare-bones-looking website.

“Wow— it actually works. Thank you,” You were unable to help yourself from beaming up at him, rather impressed at his efficiency.

He merely nodded, averting his eyes.

Was he older than you or younger? Did he work on the weekends? Have a significant other? A myriad of ridiculous questions bombarded your mind.

“What’s your name?” You asked.

That was a good, normal place to start.

“Heeseung,” he stretched his arms over his head and winced at the slightest crick of his shoulder. All your eyes could focus on were the sharp lines of his waist peeking out under the edge of his sweatshirt. 

You introduced yourself as casually as you could, “My name’s ___. This really isn’t my thing, so thank you.”

“Anytime,” He said simply, rubbing at the back of his neck.

In a flash of a second, the shameless part of your mind dared to imagine how that shy expression of his might twist into one of pleasure— how his breathy sighs would fill your ears while he was hunched over, bracing himself on the table. At the same time, you pictured yourself between his long legs, mouthing kisses over his bulge, watching him twitch above you all the while.

‘Who’s the slut now?’ You could already hear Rin’s ridiculous comments; she must’ve poisoned your brain with the thought. 

Feeling yourself starting to go slightly demented from the turn of events, you excused yourself and threw your supplies into your backpack to leave as quickly as you could, entirely oblivious to how Heeseung stared after you on your way out.

Heeseung meant it when he said, ‘anytime.’

From that day on, there wasn’t an instance where he didn’t hesitate to help when you asked him for it. Each day, you grew less and less hesitant to ask him for assistance which was… interesting.

What was even more unbelievable was that he never asked for anything in return, and you were so grateful, so smitten by him. The assignments you received were absolutely distressing, yet Heeseung didn’t appear to resent your requests and was always more than willing to lend you a hand. Based on your life experience, that was far from normal. 

There was a question that you just had to ask a few weeks into the semester when he was helping you work on one of your projects for the nth time.

“Honestly, do you like doing this?” 

Heeseung leaned back in his chair and appeared contemplative while stretching his wrists. “No. Coding is a tedious process, but if you’re referring to helping you,” He looked at you with an earnest gleam in his eyes and gave you a small smile, “Yes, I really like helping you.”

It was the first time you felt your heart skip in a while.

Right then and there, you could’ve dropped to your knees and let him use your mouth however he pleased. Fuck everyone else in the class; you would’ve done it.

On a serious note, it was unfortunate that you had nothing to offer him of value in the class.

Your creative mind worked so differently, and you two didn’t share any other classes you could help him with. So you often tried to make up for it by conversing and attempting to get to know him.

Emphasis on attempt.

The downside to your interactions was that he rarely engaged with you on the occasion, even when you tried to initiate a casual conversation with him.

“What are you always reading during class?” You glanced over at his screen curiously one day.

Heeseung was always quick to minimize the extra window when you caught him. “Nothing much, just manga. Need something?”

“What? I— No, I was just wondering,” You’d quirk a brow at him, and he’d return to his task.

Every time you came into class and took the same seat next to him, you’d greet him, and he’d greet you in return but left it at that. After assisting you with an issue, he’d always quietly turn back to his computer and pick up where he left off. Maybe you’d be able to get in a question or two, but he hardly talked up a storm.

Even when you probed him about his life, Heeseung merely gave short replies or shook off your questions. He was so difficult to get to know and apparently didn’t care to hold a conversation with you outside of coding. Still, you were insistent because you were a relatively private individual yourself. Really, you tried to understand where he was coming from.

“I’m so glad I don’t have classes after this,” a yawn escaped your lips as you covered your mouth with your hand.

Heeseung’s typing never ceased, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You stared at his profile, waiting to see if he’d continue the conversation. After a second too long of waiting, you asked, “Do you have any night classes?”

“I don’t. I have work.”

You perked up in your seat. “Oh? Where at?”

“I’m actually about to change jobs, so it really doesn’t matter,” Heeseung responded curtly. 

You sank back into your chair. “Oh. Sorry.”

He turned to look at you as if to say something, an apologetic expression nearly taking hold of his features, but he seemingly held himself back and returned to his work. 

Still, within the coming weeks, you grew curious about his family as well. One day your curiosity was at its peak, and you rattled off questions about any possible siblings he might have. That was less intrusive than asking about a significant other, right?

“So, are you an only child, or do you have any siblings?” You probed during a particularly long day and difficult class session. When one’s brain was already fried, it didn’t hurt to completely give up on figuring something out, especially if you had Heeseung. 

Just for today, you promised yourself as Heeseung was clicking away at your keyboard, helping you out as usual.

“... I have a brother,” Heeseung hesitated, “Stepbrother, actually. He’s a student as well.”

“No way? Same major as you?”

“No…” and he left it at that, making you wonder if they weren’t on the greatest terms... Or if he just didn’t care to share more of his life with you.

Nonetheless, your attempts to converse with him day after day eventually took a toll on you. Clearly, you were bothering him with the questions, but it’s not like you just chose anyone to put effort into getting to know. Why couldn’t he understand that? Most people would’ve loved getting asked about their life and would easily drone on and on about themselves. 

Rin would cackle at you now if she only knew of your circumstances. As if you would ever tell her with the shit way things were going. 

God, I should just stick to my little otome game apps with automated responses.

After several weeks of your relationship with him going nowhere, your savior became the source of your frustration.

Guys never helped you out without an ulterior motive or expecting something in return, so it was almost inconceivable to think someone like Heeseung existed. His caring personality subverted your initial expectations of him, and you knew his selfless actions came from a sincere place, but still…

This had grown beyond needing his help in class. All you wanted to do was get to know Heeseung because you had taken a genuine interest in him.

Was that asking for a lot?

The day you walked into class and plopped into your seat without saying hello to him, Heeseung knew something was up. The boy had gotten much too used to your greetings every day.

Barely able to contain your irritation with him, you stared straight ahead at your screen and got to work, despite feeling his eyes on you. 

Beside you, Heeseung was desperately trying to read your stoic expression. He’d glance at you meekly, and look back at his computer for a few seconds, only to peer over at you again. 

This cycle went on for the next few minutes until you heard him greet you first, for once.

“Hey, ___–”

“Hey,” You barely spared him a look and settled back into your workflow just as swiftly.

Stumped by your odd behavior, Heeseung drew his hands into his lap and fell quiet once more.

Just when you thought he’d leave you be, Heeseung pulled up to your side in his rolling chair, that signature lavender scent of his invading your senses. His knee bumped into yours but stayed there.

“Do you need my help with anything?”

“No, thank you,” you replied coldly.

You saw him wilt out of the corner of your eye, and something vengeful in you felt good about making him feel the way you’ve felt for the past months. The other part of you just felt plain guilty.

Feeling suffocated, you abruptly left the class to get some fresh air. You were hoping the open-air foyer filled with wooden benches would grant you a moment of reprieve.

Choosing the farthest bench from the entrance, you sat down and propped up your legs, pulling your knees close to your chin. The evening breeze swept across your flushed cheeks, and you were mortified to realize tears were threatening to spill down them.

It was childish of you to reject Heeseung’s attention once you finally got it, but… you couldn’t help it. You knew the attention wasn’t due to any sort of genuine feelings toward you; it was merely your petty behavior that provoked him.

Was this how it felt to be rejected while trying so hard to befriend someone? Is this how people felt when you made them jump through a hundred hoops to get to know you? 

You thought back to when you took the chance to let someone in for the first and last time. Had you just been too much? Or maybe not worth the trouble?

If that were true… maybe that was the reason your first love had cheated on you. 

Old feelings bubbled up in your chest, and suddenly everything really felt like shit. 

To make things worse, you were sulking. Even though Heeseung could tell something was up and was trying to diagnose the situation, he still infuriated you. If anyone had to deal with an aloof individual for as long as you did, you were sure they’d go crazy too.

Especially if they were as cute as Heeseung was.

Fuck. 

There was no way you were about to cry in public over a boy, the most angelic, frustrating boy you’ve ever met. 

Not everybody reciprocated people’s feelings equally, and it was simply life to deal with it. Still…

Once you buried your face into your arms, you released your pent-up emotions with a shaky breath, letting the hot tears fall and soak into your jeans. You decided to stay there for a while, long enough until you knew everyone in class would be gone, so you could rest assured no one would see your pathetic tear-stained face.

It was a good half hour after class ended before you made your way back to collect your belongings and catch the bus to head home. Somehow, you cried for the majority of it as quietly as you could.

It actually helped a bit, as it had back then. 

When you pulled open the door, you froze like a deer in headlights.

Heeseung stared up at you with wide eyes from where he was sitting; he was the only one left in the class, which you hadn’t counted on.

He wasn’t waiting for you, was he?

“Um…” You trailed off and slowly turned to leave again, but he was already out of his seat, making his way toward you.

Jesus—

You were hardly ever standing next to each other, so facing him head-on at his tall stature was intimidating, even with his cardigan and those nerdy glasses of his. Perhaps it also had to do with the unfamiliar look in his eyes and the intense concern in them.

“Are you okay?” He reached out to touch your arm, but you stepped back and caught him by the shoulders, holding him back at arm's length.

Unable to look at him directly, you stared down at your shoes next to his, eyes stinging again as if you didn’t just spend half an hour crying.

Just seeing his face and hearing his voice brought on a flood of confusing emotions.

“Yeah? I-I’m fine,” You insisted.

Even though Heeseung couldn’t see your face, he saw your tears fall onto your sneakers and felt your grip curl into his shoulders.

“___, if it’s something I said or did…” Heeseung’s voice went soft, and you nearly jumped when you felt his hands slide over yours, his thumbs stroking comfortingly over your skin, “You can tell me.”

His mere touch slowly brought your anxiety down, one stroke of his thumb after the other— at the same time, it sent shivers along your skin. 

It’s what you didn’t say or do.

Fear threatened to cut your voice off completely. You took several deep breaths, trying to sort out your thoughts so that you could properly convey how you were feeling. 

Here was your chance to be honest with him from the get-go. It was scary, but you needed to try.

“I consider you as someone who I’m really grateful for, Heeseung. Especially after how much of your time you’ve given me this semester,” You sighed, glancing up at him even though your vision was blurry, “You’re a really talented guy. It’s just impossible to get to know you because you like to keep to yourself. I think I understand why you do. Even I don’t like letting other people in all the time...”

Something seemed to click in his mind at your words; you saw his lips part ever so slightly in realization, his eyes widening a fraction.

“... But it’s still hard to be on the receiving end of that. However, if that’s where you want me,” You pulled your hands out of his, letting them drop to your side, “Then there’s not much I can do about that.”

Quietly, you brushed past him and packed your backpack in a hurry to leave.

Heeseung fell silent behind you, and when you left him, you kept your eyes trained on the floor.

The next day, you remained in a foul mood as you chose to sit on the opposite side of your table to avoid the tension of being next to Heeseung for two hours straight. As you expected, the student who usually sat there confronted you about it.

“Hey, this is my seat. I’ve been sitting here all semester.”

You didn’t care to grant her your full attention and continued typing, “I don’t see your name on it.”

It was definitely a shitty thing to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give a damn at that moment. 

She was stunned into silence and subsequently stomped over to the next row to take her seat next to Heeseung. There was no doubt that he overheard your confrontation. 

Class sped by while you were laser-focused on completing everything you needed to get done for that period— without Heeseung’s help. At least one good thing came out of taking notes and watching Heeseung work these past several weeks; your evolving skill set. You were far from excellent, but you had gotten at least a bit better with the basics. 

This time, you didn’t plan on sticking around after class.

It seemed like Heeseung was prepared for you not to because the moment you stood up and bolted to the door, he was already out of his seat, hot on your trail.

Heeseung called out your name.

You ignored him, even as he easily caught up with your pace. His silence yesterday already confirmed all you needed to know about how he felt about you. 

He caught your elbow, and you stopped to look him dead in the eye. “What do you think you’re doing? Let go.”

Heeseung immediately released you, “Sorry, I just wanted to talk—“

A menacing force slammed into your back, propelling you straight into Heeseung’s chest. Someone halfway down the hall called out a sarcastic apology, but it barely registered— you were startled by how Heeseung steadied you against his hard body.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You scowled, already shaking his hands off despite your body aching at the feeling of him so near, “What did you want now?”

Heeseung‘s eyes wavered, but he managed to hold your scrutinizing gaze. 

“Do you want to grab dinner?”

He really felt the pressure of an impending ‘no’ when all you did was stare at him.

You frowned, “What?”

Heeseung gulped but continued, “You don’t have any other classes for the day, right? There’s a really good Thai place just on the edge of campus, and their Pad Thai is the best— at least within a 20-mile radius.”

Was he doing this all of a sudden because he pitied you?

“You don’t need to do this.”

Heeseung looked like he was on the verge of panicking, but just as quickly, a sense of determination overcame him. 

He took a step forward, “But what if I want to?”

You looked off to the side, “I’m confused. Why all of a sudden?”

“I know it’s like I’m doing this out of the blue,” He sounded in a rush due to nerves, so he slowed down his speech, “I’m not good with words, and it’s true that I’m easily distracted by my classes. But I do care about you, ___.”

Your chest throbbed as he peered down at you from under his lashes with furrowed brows, “I know I’m usually pretty distant, and I can’t make up for everything in a night, but I really would like to talk with you over dinner… only if you want to join me.”

Heeseung’s expression appeared so hopeful, and his gaze held an amount of tenderness that had you shifting your weight under the unusual attention you were receiving. 

What was that look he was giving you?

He felt you brush by him, and he hung his head. 

Heeseung felt his stomach twist with guilt, he knew you wouldn’t give him a chance after how he’d been treating you—

“… Fine.”

Heeseung straightened up with wide eyes and turned to face you as you set off in the completely wrong direction. 

“It’s this way,” He eagerly called after you.

You came to a quick halt, then turned back around, crossing your arms, “Lead the way then.”

He smiled to himself when he heard the unmistakable sound of your stomach grumbling ever so faintly.

 

Walking across campus with Heeseung was convenient because the majority of people made plenty of room for the two of you, all thanks to the giant by your side. Usually, they’d have no issue bumping shoulders with you or overlooking you. 

Must be nice to be able to part seas of people, you thought enviously. 

Heeseung remained quiet for the majority of the walk except for mentioning a direction here and there. All the while, you were trying to anticipate what Heeseung might have to say to you once you got to the restaurant. 

The sky grew to be a deep orange by the time you entered the quaint Thai restaurant at the front of the campus. A simple aqua blue neon sign that read 01 Thai shone across asphalt above an old, cream colored building. While you considered their signature menu options, you turned Heeseung’s words over in your head.

“I do care about you, ___.”

Do you really?

“And what would you like to order?” The cashier asked you.

“Oh. I guess I’ll try the Pad Thai.”

“Anything to drink?”

“Just water, please,” You absentmindedly dug in your pocket to hand over your card, but Heeseung was already handing over his. 

Your brows drew together as you quietly glanced up at him, not wanting to make a scene.

He gave you a nervous smile, “My treat.”

You looked over your shoulder for seating, “I’ll Venmo you later.”

“No need,” He shook his head, guiding you to a corner table. 

“I will.”

Even from across the small wooden table, Heeseung sensed your lingering discomfort, understandably. He looked like he wanted to say something, but so did you, so he waited.

After a contemplative moment, you met his eyes and folded your hands on the table. “Heeseung, don’t tell me you're doing all this just because you feel bad.”

“No— I mean, in a way, yes. I know how I can be, and I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. I never meant to hurt you the way I did.”

I really did emotionally throw up on him yesterday, and his silence didn’t make it any better. Even now, I still feel high-strung about the whole ordeal, but he seems sorry about it…

“Listen, I get that you feel guilty, but if you really do just want to be friends, there’s no need for anything crazy. Just talking would be nice to start.”

“Right...” He stared right at you. 

Your brows knit together once more at the uncertainty in his voice.

“Right,” Heeseung repeated, almost to himself, “That’s doable. Although guilt plays a significant part in driving me to do what I’m doing… Please know it’s not my only motivator.”

Heeseung startled you when he reached out to take one of your hands in his. You still looked utterly confused, so he exhaled softly before squeezing your hand and running the pad of his thumb along your knuckles, just like he did back in class. 

Goosebumps immediately broke out on your skin from the heat of his touch.

Oh.

Behind his glasses, his eyes were intent; you had his full attention. “I’ve been really out of touch with people these days, and I regret it. However, I had some personal things I was working through. It’s not an excuse, but I do care about you, ___. I hope you can eventually find a way to forgive me.”

At his sudden admittance, your heart rate began to pick up. Immediately you hated how vulnerable his words made you feel, but that also meant that they were real. His forwardness rendered you genuinely speechless; even your mind drew a blank. 

It seemed like he could sense it.

“I-I see,” You stared at your daintier hand in his own, then looked back up at Heeseung’s keen gaze. 

His brows drew together, and his lips curled upwards ever so slightly, “Am I making you nervous?” He sounded like he was making a discovery. 

Heat immediately flooded your face once more, and you took your hand back out of embarrassment. 

He gnawed on his lip, his eyelids lowering a fraction, “Sorry.”

A waitress pulled up to your table with a tray of steaming bowls, and Heeseung thanked the waitress as she left while you reached for a pair of chopsticks.

“What kind of question is that?” You mumbled while you picked at your noodles. Your brain was failing to make sense of Heeseung’s feelings towards you.

He didn’t let up.

“You make me really nervous, ___,” Heeseung dared to reveal in a low voice. 

As he expected, his declaration drew your attention back to him. Your eyes narrowed at Heeseung, who wore a small yet knowing smile, clearly trying to get a rise out of you. 

Is this really the same guy who chased me down to grab dinner with him?

Little did you know the boy sitting across from you was attuned to your every movement— from the quickened pace of your breath to the twitch of your leg when his knee brushed against yours underneath the table.

Naturally, he would be after spending so much time at your side for the past couple of months, taking note of your little habits and mannerisms. 

He also knew you’d be skeptical for a while after this, that it would take time to prove his sincerity once more. Heeseung was willing to overcome that by any means.

When Heeseung realized he had stunned you into silence, he finally looked down at his own plate. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

“Agreed,” You were grateful for the change of subject because you just barely survived his sudden undivided attention. Also, you were beyond famished.

All the while, your mouth was watering at the sight of the food, so you took a bite of the Pad Thai and savored the flavorful spices on your tongue. It was pretty damn good, Heeseung had taste. One bite of noodles, and suddenly, you felt as though you were gaining back your senses. 

He’s kind of flirty, isn’t he?

After several more bites and a nice gulp of cold water, you felt ready to hold a proper conversation.

“Don’t bullshit me anymore, Heeseung,” You commented, propping your chin up on your palm.

He chuckled softly, and you squinted his way.

“I’ll try my best, ___.”

Over dinner, Heeseung allowed you to delve into his mind, which was certainly a treat. 

Not without difficulty, of course. 

His answers remained vague unless you pressed further; it was like pulling teeth, but you could tell he was trying. With enough persistence, he divulged you.

“Do you just really like to keep a low profile?” You asked, referencing his deflection of your attempts at conversing with him during class, “I mean, I figured you just found me annoying.”

Heeseung slowly began, “I wasn’t in the best headspace this semester. Things at my old job weren’t going well at all, and those issues combined with the stress of my classes resulted in me feeling very closed off from my surroundings.”

You scratched your cheek. “I see. How does that usually affect you?”

“I tend to isolate myself under pressure, and it becomes difficult for me to connect with… well, those around me,” Heeseung explained, running his fingers back and forth over the grain of the tabletop. 

“Hm, that’s tough. Honestly, you always seem like you have your shit together.”

Heeseung shook his head, “It’s… a facade of sorts.”

“Well, a lot of people have one,” Your eyes wandered down to your plate, it had been scraped clean for a while. 

The shop was empty save for you two, it must’ve been growing closer to closing time, what with the moonlight shining through the windows. 

“Yeah? What’s yours?”

Ah, now it’s his turn to take a shot at me.

Being vulnerable was difficult, especially with all of Heeseung’s attention on you. Silence fell over you two, but he waited, even when it felt like you weren’t going to speak. 

“Probably enjoying being alone. Not that I don’t, but it depends on how I’m feeling that day. I see independence and loneliness as two sides of the same coin.”

It was the truth, to an extent. You enjoyed the benefits of being independent, but there was a fine line between that and being lonely. 

“It’s a normal human thing to go through,” You shrugged.

It’s how I’ve always been, and it usually keeps me safe. But I can’t believe I just admitted that to another person, let alone Heeseung. Though that’s the whole point of this conversation, isn’t it?

“Um, anyways…“

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel lonely.”

Your eyes flitted to Heeseung’s expression; he seemed cautious yet sincere.

“Don’t be. It’s not your responsibility to make me feel otherwise.”

It was a difficult realization to come to, and as such, you gave a detached response. In due time you’d have to see if he meant everything that he said.

With an inward sigh, you felt disappointment replace the anger that had been slowly filtering out of your system for the past hour. Heeseung was willing to try to be friends, which was more than you could’ve asked for, so deep down, you fought your desire for him. You were being given the chance to take things day by day and come to terms with the reality of your situation. 

“Besides, being lonely is a good skill to have. It’s weird to say out loud, but I really think it is,” You stated, glancing out the window into the dimly lit streets, “It’s useful and easier than most people think.”

When Heeseung said nothing in response, you turned to look at him once more, wanting to hear his voice. 

Something from him, anything.

Instead, you met those dark brown eyes behind his glasses; they contained a mix of something you couldn’t place and a tinge of sadness, but most surprisingly– knowing.

You fidgeted with the hairband on your wrist. “What? What’s wrong?”

Heeseung spoke, “Nothing… What do you mean?” 

His question seemed hollow as if he feigned confusion; his eyes told you everything yet nothing, all at once– like he could see right through you. 

You shook your head, voice coming out as a whisper, “I don’t know… You’re making me nervous again.”

“Sorry,” Heeseung blinked and shifted his eyes elsewhere, and suddenly you felt like you could breathe, but just barely. 

He distractedly removed his glasses to pinch at his nose bridge, and that’s when your breath caught in your chest. 

A slight smile tugged at your lips, “Hey, you look different without your glasses.” You were apt to change the subject.

“Oh, really?” Heeseung moved to adjust them back in place quickly.

“Wait,” you leaned over the table and placed your hand on his to stop him, wanting a better look, “You look really handsome. Not that you don’t with them on, but….”

Heeseung noted how intrigued you looked, the fascination brightening your features. It was certainly a contrast to the way you regarded him just a moment before. “I’ve worn glasses my whole life. I don’t look odd without them?”

“No, but I think you’re cute either way—“ You curiously brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, and his brows rose in surprise. 

Upon realizing what you had done, you promptly sat back in your seat and stuffed your hands in your pockets. 

“I— You just look different,” You tried to cover up your embarrassment with a smile. 

You hadn’t intended on getting touchy, but you just couldn't help it. Then again, he comfortably initiated way more physical contact with you today than he had all semester. 

Heeseung quietly glanced off to the side, and then his eyes were back on you without a moment’s notice, observing.

Ah, there’s that churning sensation in my stomach again.

Even though you could see his eyes clear as day, you couldn’t read him as easily this time.  

“Thanks,” His eyes flitted away as he fixed his glasses back in place.  

Uh-oh. Did I mess up? Did I turn him off by touching his hair? Or with my comments on his appearance?

“We better go, I think they’re closing,” You rubbed your cheek while throwing your backpack over your shoulder, “Thank you for dinner.”

“Sure. Thanks for hearing me out… and for sharing,” Heeseung led you to the door and held it open for you.

His voice sounded odd, almost tight. 

“Yeah...”

It had been a rollercoaster of a day so far; you weren’t sure what kind of note you were going to end it on. 

The brisk night air hit your skin and made you shudder. You turned towards the bus stop across the street, anticipating an arrival soon, “I’m headed over here. I guess I’ll see you in class?” 

When you glanced back over your shoulder, Heeseung was looking after you in such a way that caused you to freeze. His demeanor had shifted from the start of dinner to now like there was a barely tamed intensity about him. He felt unpredictable— he even seemed on edge. 

What was going on? Maybe you really stepped on his toes earlier with your comment about his glasses. It certainly wasn’t your intention; you meant it as a compliment. 

He could’ve been self-conscious about it, you idiot!

Heeseung gave you a curt nod, “Get home safely, okay?” 

You frowned. 

“Okay…” You paused before giving him a quick hug. 

Next to free food and a bit of communication, hugs diffused most escalating situations, right?

But even to you, it felt like a blur; you barely gave him enough time to return it, and then you were slipping out of his grasp just as quickly as you had drawn close. 

“Bye,” You whispered. 

Taken aback, Heeseung dropped his arms to his sides as he watched you jog across the street to board the bus that arrived a moment before and nearly took off without you. 

He inhaled deeply.

Now, his whole body ached. 

Oh, he hated you even more for that.

The cold suddenly seeped into his skin. It hadn’t affected him until you left his side. 

Your bus took off just as his phone faintly vibrated in his pocket. He lost count of how many times it had gone off during his dinner with you, but he hardly paid it any attention. He ignored it for the past two months but couldn’t bring himself to block the number. 

Finally, he decided to answer it. 

“Heeseung! Do you know how many times I’ve called you today? And the day before? Over the past eight fucking weeks? We were supposed to meet–”

“I was at dinner—” Heeseung immediately kicked himself for even sparing an excuse. There was no need to anymore. “Please stop calling me.”

His thumb hovered over the button to hang up and block her number; he should’ve done it earlier. 

“Don’t do this to me, love.”

Anger slithered up his veins, “How else do you expect me to act after all that you’ve done?”

“What you saw wasn’t what it looked like—“

Beep—

That’s what she’d said in the hundreds of voicemails she left, or so he guessed. Listening to one was sufficient. 

From that day on, Heeseung dialed back on the forwardness he displayed in terms of physical contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why for the life of you. However, your conversations in class were plentiful and on friendlier terms, save for the interesting underlying tension that persisted through his frequent teasing comments and lasting stares. 

That’s not to say there was a complete absence of flirtatious touching, he simply wasn’t as outright with it. But you noted each subtle instance with amusement whether it was a tap on the shoulder, a bump to the knee or an accidental brush of hands when he’d reach for your mouse. 

He seemed somewhat back to normal compared to how you left him that one night, but something definitely changed between you two. 

On the other hand, you soon discovered the breadth of his sense of humor. The off-handed, dry comments he’d whisper about some odd gesture or explanation the professor would make had you snorting in your seat— turns out you weren’t the only one who occasionally got annoyed with the way your professor taught. 

Even so, together, you both managed.

Thai food after class became a routine for you both, a couple of times a week. Ever since Heeseung made an effort to open up, sometimes you’d talk up until the last bus was available for you to catch if he didn’t have work, and other times, you’d work on assignments together.

For every question you asked him, it tickled you that he had one for you of equal measure. These brief moments with Heeseung stood out from your otherwise mundane campus life. Unfortunately, things didn’t always go according to plan.  

One evening, a meeting with your advisor concerning your schedule for next semester ran over time significantly and you were 30 minutes late to your dinner at 01 Thai with Heeseung. 

The frigid air lashed across your face the moment you stepped outside the administration building causing you to wince. It was an evening filled with storm clouds, and the sun had long set; it was starting to get darker earlier in the day. You reached into your pocket to update Heeseung on your whereabouts but let out a frustrated grunt when you realized your phone had died on you. 

Fuck. 

The restaurant was on the complete other side of campus so you decided to cut through a back way that was a bit more obscure but quicker than usual. The first droplets of rain hit your skin before it turned into an outright downpour by the time you were half way across campus. 

Just my luck. 

There weren’t a whole lot of shaded areas along the buildings in the back route you took so you braced yourself through the chill until the droplets began to feel like ice pellets. It was too much so you chose to take shelter when you came upon the first shaded area that came into view near the back exit of a building. 

Something on the floor caught your eye as you quickly approached. A dog with soaked fur was curled up on its stomach and appeared to be breathing irregularly. On instinct, you kneeled down to run your hand over its fur, and it let out a thin whine. 

“Oh, you poor thing. Where’s your owner?”

You felt along its furry chin for a tag and found purchase in a sleek, black collar. However, there was no tag with an owner's contact to be found.

Maybe it’s a high-tech tracking collar? 

With your back against the wall, you slid down to sit for a moment, enduring the mist that the wind blew against you both, cradling the dog close. “I don’t think the rain will let up any time soon… You don’t wanna come with? You just wanna stay here and wait for your owner, huh?”

The dog merely blinked up at you. 

“Alright, then you need this more than I do. Hopefully they’re just around the corner…”

You shrugged off your jacket and used it to dry off the pup a bit before swaddling it in the fabric. After you finished and went to scratch its chin, it licked your palm non-stop.

“You’re welcome,” You stood up with a giggle and readjusted your backpack. Although it was storming, if you let Heeseung wait any longer it would give him the wrong idea. 

You received stares from other students the moment you stepped through the restaurant doors since the single layer of your T-shirt was soaked through. Immediately you crossed your arms over your chest but made a beeline towards Heeseung who sat in the corner. 

He looked you over with concern. 

You couldn’t help but stutter from the cold, “S-sorry. My meeting ran late with my advisor and my phone died—“

“It’s okay, I figured. Weren’t you wearing a jacket in class earlier?”

“I—I may have given it away…”

“To who?”

“To a dog I saw on the way here…?”

You realized how ridiculous it sounded once you said it out loud, but the soft spot you had towards canines made you do silly things from time to time. 

Heeseung raised a brow at that, “Did you just lose it?”

“Sure, I lost it on this awfully cold day, ” You rolled your eyes.

Heeseung shook his head with a snort, and tugged his hoodie over his head, “Well, why don’t you change out of that?”

A chill racked through your body but you brushed it off, until you glanced down to see your shirt plastered to your body and around the prominent outline of your black bra. 

“Um….”

“Here,” Heeseung deposited his hoodie into your arms before you could refuse, “I’ll ask them for a plastic bag to hold your clothing. Your food just came out, so go change.”

“Thanks.”

As you ignored the stares from others occupying the restaurant and clicked the restroom door shut, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror.

There really wasn’t a spot on you that wasn’t damp. You stripped out of your top and bra then proceeded to squeeze them out over the sink before tossing them into a plastic bag. You dried down as much as you could with a wad of paper towels then tugged Heeseung’s hoodie over your head. 

Immediately, you were enveloped by his scent; a light sweetness with new undertones of soft musk you hadn’t detected before. The fabric was still warm against your skin with his body heat which made you feel odd. 

You slowly tugged the collar up to your nose then dropped the fabric abruptly. 

Let’s not make this weird. It certainly beats being cold and wet. 

Heeseung eyed you once you remerged. “I ate already and was about to go looking for you to drop off your food.”

You plopped down across from him. “Yeah, sorry. Do you have to go soon?”

He glanced at his phone screen. “In about 10 minutes, for work. I’ll hang out for a while, though.”

“You don’t wanna work on an assignment while I eat?”

Heeseung pressed his cheek against his palm and leaned onto his elbow, his languid eyes on you, “Mm-mm.”

You stared at him before proceeding to shovel the tasty noodles into your mouth, “Okay.”

Heeseung chuckled, “How’d your meeting go?”

“Fine, I guess. My advisor thought he screwed up and almost made me think I had to take an extra two classes, but we straightened that out. I’m on track, and I’ll have a decent load to finish off next semester since it’s my last.”

Heeseung looked like he was in thought as you shared your schedule with him.

“None of those classes ring a bell.”

That fact bummed you out, more than you’d ever show. “Oh, really? What’s your semester looking like next year?”

“Hm, since it’s my last semester too, I’m thinking of going for an internship, it’s about time.”

You dabbed at your lips with a napkin, “That’s actually really good. I need to do that…”

“It’ll help when you apply for jobs, for sure.”

The impending doom of your future weighed heavily on your shoulders, and Heeseung seemed to notice you suddenly felt burdened. 

“So, you like dogs?”

You glanced up mid-chew, “I do!”

“Did you really give a dog your jacket?” Heeseung squinted. 

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“Maybe the second time around,” He was amused at how you pouted, “What breeds do you like?”

“I like all breeds. The funniest dogs are ones that are like humans. During last thanksgiving there was this one dog at my aunt’s that wouldn’t let me pet him at first. So, I let him be and sat in the living room alone, but every so often he would saunter in and get closer to me every time,” You laughed at the memory, “Then eventually he got so close, I just stuck my hand out and he pressed up against me for pets. Finicky but adorable…”

Heeseung cleared his throat, and wore a sheepish expression, “Sounds like it… You don’t own any dogs?”

“Not yet. I’m saving up and waiting ‘till I’m done with school. I want to be able to give it the attention it deserves.”

“I think that’s smart.”

You sighed, “Yeah… I wish I had one.”

As you finished your food, Heeseung finally said what was truly on his mind. 

“You should be more careful about walking around campus without a working phone. It gets dark faster these days,” He began. 

His scolding caught you off guard. 

“I am cautious, I’m not dumb,” You interrupted, “And I didn’t mean to. I would’ve charged it in the library or something but I didn’t want to keep you waiting—“

“It would’ve been fine if you left me waiting a little longer to do that. It’s such a big campus where anything could happen when you least expect it, so you should always have your phone on,” Heeseung motioned for you to hand over your phone, “And I know you know that.”

You pouted but dropped it into his hand, and he connected it to a portable charger he took out of his backpack, “Alright, mother.”

Heeseung sighed but gave you a small smile anyways. 

“Are you still at your old job or did you start your new one already?” You asked since Heeseung felt at liberty to say what he wanted. 

Heeseung’s eyes turned troubled. “Still there. Just for a little while longer.”

You pressed, “Where do you work?”

Heeseung’s lips parted to answer but he seemed to think better of it. 

“It’s not the greatest place,” Heeseung checked his phone and stood up, “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. See you.”

You bit your tongue. “Won’t you get all wet if you’re walking to work?”

“Uber,” was all he said with a tight smile, “Don’t worry about it. Get home safe.”

Heeseung left you his charger as he stepped outside into the rain, the deep slope of his shoulders inciting a sense of regret in you. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed him on the topic when it was clearly sensitive for him. He didn’t deserve your snappy attitude after he expressed his worry for you either… but you knew he wouldn’t hold you to it because that’s the kind of person he was. 

When you weren’t grabbing dinner with Heeseung, there were evenings when you would pour over your studies and meet Rin in the library, like you always had. 

“So, how are your otome games going? On to the next one?” She questioned. 

Oh shit. You’ve been neglecting your pixel husbands basically since the start of the semester—

“I actually haven’t touched any games in a while.”

“Really now?” Rin seemed unsurprised at such a revelation as she continued, “How about that coding class? These days you seem less stressed about it….”

“Yeah, I finally picked up a thing or two. There’s actually this guy who’s been—“

Rin jumped out of her seat and pointed at you accusingly, the screech of her chair drawing annoyed looks from other students. 

“I’ve been fucking waiting for you to bring him up!”

Your eyes widened, “Wait, how do you—”

“Shhhh!” Someone hushed. 

You both put your heads together and dropped your voices to a whisper. 

“How do you know Heeseung?”

Rin explained everything in detail, perhaps too much detail. Figuring out Heeseung consulted her the day you cried in front of him made your face burn. 

Apparently, he hung out enough in the library to recognize Rin as your friend, although you certainly had never seen him while studying. 

“Truthfully, at first, I was mad at the guy for upsetting you; the dude was too honest for his own good and actually told me he was in deep shit with you. I nearly caused a scene in here, but he seemed really apologetic and genuine about wanting to make things right with you. 

So, I told him food was the way to your heart, but I warned him you’d be a little stuck up about paying for yourself. Seriously, you have the weirdest eating schedule just to achieve ‘optimal efficiency’ and avoid ‘brain fog’ or whatever,” Rin grinned. 

Well, she wasn’t wrong. Free food definitely helped on top of everything else Heeseung managed to pull off since then.  

“I appreciate that, but I can’t believe you knew about everything the entire time,” You felt a tad guilty for not looping her in on the situation, having thought she would’ve teased you about it, “And that he actually went out of his way to ask you about me….”

You couldn’t help but look at him a little differently now. He was serious. 

“Well, I only knew what happened up until that day, but you seemed better these past several weeks, so it looks like my advice worked.”

You slid further into your seat and stared up at the ceiling, “Yeah, I suppose it did.”

“I didn’t want to ruin anything, so I stayed quiet. He’s very cute,” She grinned at you.

You paused, “We’re just friends.”

“What? All that drama for a friendship?”

“Hm…”

Rin rose an impeccably plucked brow at you. 

“Yes,” You sighed, patting her head. 

Your friend pouted, “I would’ve guessed otherwise, girl. There’s still time, though.”

Was there?

Soon enough, another month had flown by— finals were around the corner, and both you and Heeseung were typing up code for your class project when you ran into your first distressing issue in a while. 

You called to him without taking your eyes off the screen, “Hey, something’s off, and I can’t figure out what. I swear if it’s just an extra period somewhere, I’m gonna—“

Heeseung was at your side in a heartbeat, “Let me see.”

You scooted your chair over to make room for his, but he got comfortable on the floor. “Stop kneeling. You know you’re gonna permanently fuck up your kneecaps, right?”

“I’m used to it,” He said simply before he froze up as if he had said something wrong. 

Assuming that he was poking at you, you scoffed, “I don’t ask you for help that often anymore, Hee.”

Heeseung cleared his throat and got to work on your code, “No, I know.”

While you waited for him to finish diagnosing the issue, you secretly inhaled his familiar, comforting scent of sweet lavender out of habit.

You saw him smirk out of the corner of your eye. 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Seriously, what?”

He shrugged, “You’re doing that thing you do every time I get close.”

Fuck. When did he even– Fuck—

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The tapping of keys halted.

A mischievous lilt made its way into his voice as he faced you, “We’re gonna go that route?” 

“Yes. Yes, we are because you are not going to out me here,” You hissed under your breath. 

“Ha, so you admit that you do take a whiff—“

You took hold of his jaw and forced him to face your computer screen, “Focus.”

Heeseung eyes darkened, but he let out a chuckle. 

You were pressing two fingers to your temple and looking anywhere but at him, so you failed to notice. For the moment, you put aside your pride and stayed quiet until he figured out what the hell was wrong with your project. 

God, how embarrassing. 

A few keyboard and mouse clicks later, and Heeseung was settling back into his seat. “It was an extra period on line 976.”

“Of course it was,” You rolled your eyes and heard him laugh even harder. He was quick to figure out how often he could test your patience…

“Why do you always smell like pastries?” Your sudden question came out as an accusation. 

At this point in your friendship, you found yourself blurting out random things that were on your mind when with Heeseung, and he managed to learn how to go with the flow. 

“I bake in my spare time,” He said, clearly amused. 

You gawked at the new discovery, “I—I guess that explains it….”

“I’ve always baked, it’s sort of just a hobby I never thought to share.”

You swore there was always something to learn about the guy, even at the quick rate that you’d gotten to know him.

“Well, what do you do with all the stuff you make? Keep them all for yourself?” You jabbed at Heeseung.

“No, I just…” His voice quietly tapered off, so you were unable to catch his last words.

“You what?”

“I’ll just give it away to the homeless on the street if I deem it edible,” He muttered. 

“Huh,” You turned to Heeseung, “That’s actually really sweet.”

“It’s nothing,” He pressed his lips together and continued, “By the way, I just started my new job, and my shift is in the evening, so… we’re going to have to postpone Thai nights.”

“Oh. You started your new job finally?” Your heart and stomach dropped; you were so looking forward to it before you’d have to really buckle down for finals, “I guess we’ll have to postpone them. The timing, though….”

Postpone them until when? The two of you had completely different tracks from here on out. Would he even want to hang out with you next semester when there was nothing else to bind your schedules together?

Heeseung leaned over to rest his elbows on his knees, appearing contemplative while watching you cycle through the endless thoughts in your mind.

“I work at this new cafe about ten minutes away from campus. Do you want to drop by and check it out after class? If you want, you could study there until I get off, and then we can have dinner at my place.”

Dinner at his place?

He saw the way your eyes blew up, and he couldn’t tell if it was in shock or excitement. 

“Don’t feel pressured, it was just a thought,” Heeseung brushed off a piece of lint on your knee, his touch lingering, “I get off at around 10:00, so it’d be a later-than-usual dinner.”

“S-sure,” Your voice pitched unusually high, and you nearly threw up in your mouth. 

Geez, calm down! 

Heeseung looked pleased as he stood up from his desk and slung his backpack over his shoulder, “Shall we?”

The moment you stepped foot in the new cafe, your body appreciated the drastic change in temperature inside, the weather was extremely chilly these days. Didn’t change the fact that you’d order something iced, though. 

“Take a look at the menu, I need to get changed, and I’ll be right out to make you something to drink,” Heeseung ushered you further into the store, his hand at your lower back. 

“No problem,” You held Heeseung’s warm gaze and forgot to breathe. 

As Heeseung set off to the back, you exhaled and took in the bright, cozy interior of the cafe along with its high ceilings. Evening light filtered through the tall windows, casting the whole place in warmth. 

What a nice cafe to work at. I could study here more often too.

The aroma of ground coffee beans and sweet pastries filled your nose, causing your brain to perk up at the thought of caffeine even though it was evening. The people that occupied the space were relatively quiet– the seats were mainly filled with a few students and young professionals. 

An empty table was waiting for you in the corner, so you set down your belongings there and pulled out your wallet. Curious about their menu, you returned to the counter to consider the items. 

A handsome, light-haired young man eagerly approached from behind the bar upon seeing you, “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Your brain raced for an answer even though you were supposed to wait for Heeseung. “Um, I’ll try the iced matcha latte….”

“Perfect,” He gave you a thousand-watt smile, “Anything else I can get you? We have macarons that we bake daily.”

“Sure,” You considered the colorful rows of macarons behind the glass counter, “I’ll try a lavender one and a vanilla bean.”

As the boy picked out your macarons, you imagined how Heeseung might look like working his shift here, from his mannerisms to his barista skills and if he dealt with customers easily or not. It was something you’d never thought of previously since you had no clue about his work.

“I threw in a couple of other popular flavors on the house,” the boy gave you a wink, making you blush unexpectedly.

“Oh, thank you so much!”

The barista took a step to his right without taking his eyes off you and bumped right into Heeseung, who suddenly appeared. You noticed he looked especially cute in his work uniform, somehow fitting your exact image of how a barista would look in his white button-down and his chestnut-colored apron. A smile made its way onto your face; his glasses completed the coffee connoisseur look. 

“Sorry, man—“

“Hey, no worries. I’ll ring her up,” Your eyes widened at the slight insistence in Heeseung’s voice that left no room for argument, “Jake, meet ___.”

“Hey,” Jake gave you a little wave, despite looking a bit confused at why Heeseung intercepted. 

“___, this is my friend Jake. He also goes to our University,” He mentioned while tinkering with the cash register.

You took out your card and gave Jake a shy smile, “Oh, nice. Great to meet you.”

He winked at you, “Likewise.”

Apparently, only hot people work here, you surmised. 

You thought you saw Heeseung pout at the exchange between you and Jake, but whether or not he actually did, he ignored your card and handed over your bag of macarons, swiftly stepping away to prepare your drink.

“Wait, I need to pay—“

“I’ve got you. It’ll just be a few minutes,” he called over his shoulder and got to work.

Your cheeks grew warm. 

Why did he have to act so sweet sometimes?

“I mean, I knew you had a girlfriend, but you should’ve told me she was dropping by,” Jake chuckled as he pulled up by Heeseung’s side.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’s not?” Jake questioned. 

“But I’m interested in her,” Heeseung clarified while frothing your matcha latte a bit too aggressively. 

“Aw,” Jake moped, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, “That’s too bad, she’s kinda….”

When it went silent, Jake playfully glanced over at Heeseung, who was staring him down. He slapped him on the back, “Only messing with you, dude.”

“Right.”

Just as you finished unpacking and settling in at the corner table, Heeseung approached with your matcha latte in hand and set it down in front of you. 

“That was quick,” You felt giddy getting the special treatment.

“Give it a try, and let me know if it needs anything.”

You stirred the pretty green liquid with the straw and took a sip, glancing up at Heeseung as you did so. Heeseung bit his lip and tilted his head expectantly.

“It’s perfect.”

“Good, just let me know if you need anything,” He smiled, but before he could leave, you caught his sleeve.

“Wait, have a macaron before you go. Jake gave me a lot,” You randomly chose the dusty pink one that smelled like roses and held it up for him to take.

Instead, he drew close, placing his hand on the back of your chair to steady himself, parted his lips, and waited. You glanced up at him to check if he was joking, but the glimmer in his eye said otherwise.  

Woah—

Brain on autopilot, you fed it to him, and he took a bite out of the fresh macaron.

He licked at his lips and smirked at you, “Thanks.”

After he disappeared behind the counter, you dropped your forehead into your hand, flabbergasted. You just knew your face was so red. 

This crazy ass—

What, did he expect you to finish the remainder of the macaron? 

This was too much for you to handle– Heeseung was too much for you to handle today.

And, of course, you finished it.

Two hours flew by at your table while you were jamming to some nostalgic tunes in your own little world while studying for your upcoming finals. 

Feeling the urge to stretch, you took off your headphones and extended your stiff limbs with a wince.

Condensation ran down your empty glass of matcha, and you had finished nibbling on your macarons earlier. Besides the lavender and vanilla flavors you had chosen, the rose one was pretty aromatic, and the other strawberries and cream flavor Jake picked out for you was delicious. The snacks certainly whet your appetite, and now you were more than looking forward to having dinner with Heeseung… at his place. 

You peered at Heeseung over the top of your laptop as he kept busy behind the espresso bar; Jake was a very charismatic cashier, as you experienced first-hand, while Heeseung was rather efficient at serving up beverages and hopping in to take orders when needed. They seemed to handle themselves well as a team, as far as you could tell from the past couple of hours.

Girls and guys often wandered in to gawk at the two, and you completely understood why. Nonetheless, it didn’t help the surge of discomfort you felt when you caught two girls checking Heeseung out from behind. There was nothing you could do but seethe in your seat.

Relax. They’re not the ones headed home with him tonight. 

Ah, that reminder helped, sort of. 

Now you were feeling antsy about the fact that Heeseung had invited you over in the first place. There was no way you prepared in any way, shape or form with how little heads up he gave you, but you couldn’t have easily passed up the opportunity to get a look at his place and spend more time with him. 

And if he baked, he had to be a good cook, no?

The chatty girls ended up being the last customers to leave the cafe, except for you in the corner, partially anxious but mostly content because you were alone, and so was Heeseung. 

After a quiet period, you were drawn from your studies when a woman who stood out from the average patron strolled into the cafe. She was dressed well enough to convince you that she was a model or at least an influencer of sorts, especially by the confident way she held herself. 

Jake welcomed her warmly, and you were about to slip your headphones back on when you heard her speak, “Hello. Does Heeseung work here?”

“Yeah! Do you want me to get him for you? He’s prepping food in the back.”

“Please.”

Who is she? A friend?

Jake made his way to the back kitchens. “Hey, Heeseung! Someone’s here to see you!”

“One sec,” You heard Heeseung call. 

The woman stood calmly and patiently at the counter; she appeared to be in her mid-twenties and looked sharp in all-black fashion with a set of alluring, shadowy eyes. An uneasy feeling passed through your stomach at the way she suddenly rolled her shoulders and neck— you couldn’t put a finger on it, but if it involved Heeseung, you didn’t like it.

Heeseung emerged from the kitchen doors, and you became deeply concerned at how his face went stoic upon seeing the mysterious woman. Jake sensed something was off as well and looked back and forth between the two. 

“Hi. I hope I caught you at a good time. As you know, I’ve been wanting to chat,” Her tone was overtly sweet. 

Heeseung rounded the counter and approached her, dropping his voice to an inaudible murmur. 

Whispers were exchanged between them; you focused on trying to read their lips, but it was difficult. They were familiar with each other, that much you could tell. However, they couldn’t have looked like more complete opposites. 

Feeling that you were being nosy, you stopped staring and returned to your project at hand, not wanting to overstep any further. 

A sharp slap followed by a harsh clatter resounded in the empty cafe, alerting you.

Shocked, your head whipped towards the source of the noise, only to see Heeseung, whose face was angled away from you. Your sights landed on his glasses on the tile floor.

The woman standing in front of him took an easy breath, but the way she flicked her wrist gave away her rage.

Somehow, you were already standing from your seat, crossing the floor, “Excuse me. Did you just–”

The woman kept her eyes trained on Heeseung, “Mind your own business, love.”

Jake jumped in front of you, waving his hands, “Jesus— Easy, easy. I’ll handle this.” 

Red filled your vision once your brain registered what had happened, but you had enough sense to stand your ground a safe distance away— for that woman’s sake.

“Get her out of here before I do it myself,” you gritted out. 

Jake nodded and was quick to address the woman, “Miss, I’m not sure what’s going on, but you can’t just assault our staff. I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately due to store policy.”

She eyed you, and her sharp expression slowly morphed into a feigned smile, startling you.

“Just one more thing,” She inclined her chin towards Heeseung, “Then we’ll chat back at my place after you wrap up here, alright, love?”

Heeseung’s gaze flickered at the woman, but he said nothing. 

She sauntered up to him, much too close for anyone’s comfort, and reached out to take hold of his chin, her sharp nails gauging into his skin. Stunned, you watched him shut his eyes tightly, how his brows drew together— and then he caught her wrist before she could get any closer.

Heeseung spoke in an extremely deliberate tone, “No. This is the last time I’ll be saying this to you. We’re finished. We’ve been finished. Do you understand?”

As the woman’s fingers curled into a fist, so did yours. 

“Leave. If I see you bothering any customers or staff who occupy this space, I’ll let the authorities deal with you,” He warned.

“I’ve taken care of you since we were children, Heeseung.”

The statement took you by surprise. 

“We’re done talking,” Heeseung tugged her past you and Jake towards the cafe entrance. She pulled back on his grip, but he remained unfazed. 

The two of you watched him take her outside and proceed to lock up the front of the store. Jake quickly followed and began to pull down the blinds as the woman pressed up against the windows. Her eyes slowly dragged over your form in the most demeaning manner. 

“Talk about a crazy ex,” Jake murmured to no one in particular, pressing his back against the covered window. You exhaled heavily, speechless at the turn of events.

When you bent over to pick up Heeseung’s glasses and inspect them, you noticed a lens had cracked. One could only imagine how much the slap must’ve stung. 

Heeseung touched the small of your back, “I’m really sorry you had to see that.”

Feeling left in the dark, you turned around and gave him a look of confusion, “Exactly how long has it been since you broke up with your ex?”

“Since the start of the semester,” Heeseung answered right away, “This is the first time I’ve seen her since. I don’t know how she found out about my new job.”

“And she still can’t take a hint?” Jake asked while cleaning up behind the register. 

“She will now because I’m not entertaining her games.”

You felt relief, but you immediately regretted the question. 

What a thing for me to ask after everything that just took place, you thought, ashamed. 

“Are you okay?” Your hand was shaky when you reached out to touch his cheek. 

His fingers brushed against the back of your hand in reassurance. 

“I’m fine. I’ll be better once we get out of here and grab something to eat back at my place,” He managed to give you a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

[obitohno]

mission: alpha

loid forger x reader

synopsis ⤸

loid likes yor, really, he does. but there’s just something about you that he can’t resist.

themes ⤸

fem! reader, 18+, bodyguard! reader, forbidden love, mutual pining, angst, make up sex, elevator sex, oral sex, blowjobs, deep-throating, cum swallowing, mirror sex (kinda?), cunnilingus, spitting, fingering, masturbation, making out, first kiss, cheating, emotional cheating, mentions of infidelity/divorce, kissing is cheating idc, yuri makes an appearance

word count ⤸

5.9k (unedited)

a/n ⤸

so, this is my first ever spy x family fic, n originally, it was supposed to be much shorter than this, but i got carried away, n here we are, almost 6k later, oops. i’m treating this fic as an early birthday present to myself bc it’s my birthday in less than three hours, so i really, really hope that you guys will enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it! ♡

reblogs are appreciated ~

two summers have passed since the day you met the loid forger, and initially, upon discovering the disappointing fact that he was a married man, you’d had zero interest in becoming the other woman. 

but sometimes, fate has a very funny way of messing with you. 

initially, it was simply the determination to crack your way through that tough exterior of his that had drawn you to him, even long after the two of you had completed that very first infiltration mission together. at first, he’d been a challenge to get along with—all short answers, swift departures from conversations, and an endless supply of smiles that had never reached in his eyes. 

but, much to your surprise—and even more so, his—it hadn’t actually taken all that long for you to wear him down. quickly, he’d grown accustomed to the sound of your voice chattering away by his side whenever you followed him back to headquarters, despite the fact that you had repeatedly ignored his insistence of not needing a bodyguard, and he would also pointedly pretend that he didn’t hear you mumble a reminder that that was exactly what you had been hired to do. 

two years had passed by, and whilst he adjusted to being shadowed wherever he went, you began to adjust to the way that your feelings were slowly morphing into something that definitely breached past the barrier of professional. it hadn’t registered until after you’d first recognised the anxiety-induced ache in your chest during an absolute shit-show of a mission that had had you launching yourself at loid in order to shove him out of the way of an incoming barrage of bullets aimed his way. however, you hadn’t planned for his fingers tightening around your wrist, roughly yanking you with him. bewilderment had had your feet stumbling pathetically, and you’d landed directly on top of him, an airy oof! painfully punched out of your lungs. 

he’d looked furious, brows knitted together as his mouth had opened, shouting at you over the sound of something exploding in the far distance. but you hadn’t paid attention to a single word that he’d spat at you. in fact, you’d been so distracted by the movements of his lips that you’d failed to notice that the target had advanced upon you until it was too late. 

ultimately, the mission had ended as a success, but not without the expense of a few hundred thousand pounds in damages and a couple of broken ribs. despite your protests, you’d been ordered to take leave until you’d healed. and of course, you had appealed, but ultimately, you’d had no choice but to relent when it had been revealed that it was loid who had actually submitted a request for leave in your stead. 

the revelation had boiled your blood, because, really, how fucking dare he? 

it’s been two months since, and you’ve now returned to your duties as his bodyguard. 

you had thought that with the time off from work, your irritation would have simmered by now. but each time you look at the back of his head full of sun-kissed locks, heat burns at the centre of your chest and spreads until your pulse boils in your eardrums. 

loid notices that something is different as soon as you return to watching over him without so much as word uttered toward him. you are civil, nodding in greeting when the two of you meet at headquarters whenever loid is summoned, but when he’s out and about, you’ve now taken to retreating from his side to follow at a few paces behind. 

ultimately, he suspects that if he refuses to acknowledge your attitude, it’ll only be a matter of time before you’ll simply get over it. 

you do not. 

another three weeks pass by, and loid is starting to stress. 

his emotions are easily hidden behind a blank slate that is perpetually glued to his annoyingly handsome face, and so, you don’t care to show any signs of returning to chatting his ear off any time soon. 

he’d never thought that he’d ever see the day when he’d admit that he misses listening to your voice, sometimes so unbearably loud that it makes him flinch when your shrill laughter drifts down the tunnel of his eardrum. 

he also doesn’t know when he’d gotten to the point that he craves after the memory of the heat of you standing far too close for comfort, just to murmur an order into the shell of his ear. or when you used to lean in so that his senses were overwhelmed with the scent of you, you, you.

shit. 

he misses you. 

it’s an irritating pill to swallow, one that has him blindly searching for you at the gala that he’s required to attend tonight. he’s supposed to be posing as a local museum curator, under the pretences that he’s been sent to take part in the auction that is due to take place later in the evening.

you are supposed to pose as his wife for the evening, but when you had read the mission details aloud, loid had had to pretend that the disgusted crinkling of your nose hadn’t struck a nerve. 

you were supposed to meet him almost half an hour ago, but he decides that as much as he wants you by his side—even if it’s just the two of you playing pretend—he’s waited long enough. 

he has a job to do, and his work always comes first.

but just as he’s turning away, your voice is calling him from across the lounge, and he doesn’t even have time to feel embarrassed by how his neck snaps towards you so quickly that he actually feels it crick. 

and there you are, frame wrapped in a midnight-coloured silk that clings to your form like a second skin, your eyelids painted a similar colour. and if loid squints, he can just make out the shimmer that glows upon the curves of your cheeks, and despite the fact that you look a tad flustered as you click, clack your way across the marbled floor, he thinks that you’re heaven on earth. 

you reach his side, already putting on a performance as your arm slides to link with his, your lips moving a mile a minute as you ramble your excuses for being late. 

but loid doesn’t care. 

you’re here, looking like an absolute gem by his side, and you’re touching him. 

god, when was the last time that you’d touched him? he doesn’t even know when he’d come to care for the innocent brush of your hand at his back when you’d steer him through the busier streets of tokyo, or the gentle tap of your finger to his shoulder, just to gain his attention. 

well, you certainly have it now. 

his mind is racing, gaze gluing itself to every inch of your body, and up close, he can see that you’ve spread that otherworldly shimmer along the length of your collarbones. he imagines the movement of your fingers, and he finds that all he can now think about is tracing your movements with his tongue. 

fuck. 

no. 

what is he thinking? 

yor, fuck, think of yor. 

yor, his kind, darling wife, who waits for him at home, and cooks him a warm meal everyday. yor, who does his laundry and let’s him use the bath first because he’s had a long day at work. yes, think of lovely, sweet yor. 

only, he can’t. 

he hasn’t thought about yor for a long time. 

he doesn’t know when it had started happening, but being with yor feels nice and simple, and safe, yes, but it’s also boring. and as lovely as yor is, loid has known for a long time that he doesn’t want boring. 

he wants you. 

you’ve not noticed that he’s blatantly staring at your mouth, already veering off toward the large doors, painted an obnoxious shade of gold, that lead to the ballroom. 

only, the two of you never make it that far. 

you’re too busy with making it to the ballroom to recognise the sensation of loid’s fingers curling around your wrist, and then he’s tugging at you, strong arm easily snaking its way around your waist to disguise the stumbling of your feet.

having already studied the blueprints of the building, it doesn’t take long for loid to locate one of many exclusive guest rooms that are usually used for private entertainment. he’s already pushing you inside and locking the door shut before you manage to catch enough wit about yourself to ask him just what in the hell does he think he’s doing? 

‘this,’ he says lowly, the flat of his palm pressing to your shoulder and shoving you against the door. you startle, taken aback by his manhandling, but then your heart is leaping into the back of your throat when his mouth traces over yours. 

your reaction is instant, and what starts as just feeling each other out with every hesitant press of your lips, is soon moulding a fire that burns your insides when he licks his way into your mouth. 

it feels like a dream, to have him trap you against the door like this, but when his tongue is busy massaging up the length of yours, your body stills upon the feeling of his left hand pressing to your cheek in order to tilt your head just how he needs you. the metal of his wedding ring is warmed by his body temperature, but on your skin, it’s an ice-cold reminder that you’re treading on forbidden territory. 

as far as the door will allow, you lean from his touch, your hands reaching to shove at his chest. 

a muffled grunt of surprise is breathed from between his lips, and you can no longer look at his face, eyes drawn to that gleam of gold that makes your stomach twist with guilt. 

with nausea. 

what have you done?

you think of poor yor, and of how she’d always happily welcomed you into their home with that pretty little smile of hers. the thought of betraying her sickens you, and so your eyes meet loid’s with the intention of telling him that this is a regret that he doesn’t want to make. 

except, he’s twisting the wedding band from his finger and shoving it into the inside pocket of his blazer. 

‘i don’t love her,’ he tells you, desperation lacing his tone. that may be so, you daren’t hope, but that doesn’t mean that you’re willing to be his mistress either. 

‘you’re married to her,’ you reply, voice quiet. 

he looks stumped, almost hurt, and he inches closer, his fingers reaching for you once more. when you flinch out of reach, back pressed to the door, he stills, the corners of his mouth pulling downward. 

‘i—’

he doesn’t even know what to say. you’re not wrong—it is her that he’s legally bound to, but he’s long realised that it isn’t what he wants anymore. 

he exhales a sigh, roughly tugging his fingers through his hair. and then, in a very tiny voice, he admits, ‘i’ve been issued an alpha.’ 

in his line of work, a mission can be submitted under one of the four official rankings: alpha, beta, gamma and omega. alphas, the highest of all rankings, you know to be very rare. you also know that by him telling you this, he’s breaking just about every rule in his working contract, and you gawk at him as he continues:

‘my marriage isn’t real.’ 

a pause, and then:

‘what?’

you’re glaring now, eyes narrowing up at him. 

‘that isn’t funny—’

‘i’m undercover,’ he rushes to explain, ‘i can’t… i can’t give you details, but… marrying yor was necessary because i needed a reliable story should anyone ask about me.’ 

your lips part, but you don’t even know how to voice the question that you desperately want to ask. 

he seems to understand what you’re asking, and he shakes his head, ‘she doesn’t know, no.’ 

somehow, that makes you feel even worse. here you were, locking lips with her husband, whilst she sits, waiting for him to come home, completely unaware that her entire marriage is a sham. 

‘oh my god.’ 

loid reaches for you again. ‘listen—’

‘oh my god, loid! what the fuck?!’ 

you’re horrified. at yourself, for not only kissing a married man, but for also betraying his poor, innocent wife, and especially for even entertaining the hope of him potentially returning your feelings. 

you feel sick.

‘that—’ you motion a hand between the two of you, your fingers reaching to brush as your lips that now lack the gloss that you had applied earlier this evening. ‘was that—?’ 

he looks as if you’ve physically struck him. 

wounded, he manages to grit out, ‘i wanted to.’ 

you scoff. disbelief still stings at your chest and you’re already turning toward the door, hand twisting the lock and tugging at the handle. but before you’re able to make your escape, his hand is slapped flat against the door, slamming it shut once more. 

he closes in on you from behind, and all you can feel is the heat of him seeping through the thin material of your silken dress. with your neck bare, his breath fans across your skin, and you inhale deeply, fingers tightening around the door handle until your knuckles lighten. 

‘please.’ 

the word is whispered into the shell of your ear, and you’re unable to mask the shiver that travels up the length of your spine. your pulse quickens, despite the fact that you know that it’s wrong just how much your body craves his touch. still, with one thought of mrs loid forger, your resolve strengthens, and your spines straightens. 

you clear your throat, yanking at the handle once more, ‘yor deserves better.’ 

and then, you’re gone, and with you, you take a piece of loid’s heart.

ɞ  

two days later, you’re reassigned. 

at first, the sudden news comes as a shock, but you’re glad for the opportunity to escape the nauseating guilt that churns at your stomach whenever you think about the subject of your very present affections. and after being reprimanded for abandoning the gala just two days before, you eagerly welcome the chance at being able to avoid loid for as long as possible. 

however, the relief is short lived. 

for when you meet your new assignment, you think that the world must truly have it out for you. 

yuri briar is the spitting image of his sister. 

when you’re introduced to him, you almost put in a request for another transferral. but when he flashes you a smile that is the exact copy of yor’s, you’re already giving in, returning his grin with a coy one of your own. 

working with yuri is nothing like at all like it was with loid. whilst the latter had been all stiff smiles and curt small talk, it is yuri who talks your ears off when the two of you are out on patrol later that day. you welcome the refreshing change, despite the fact that you spend the majority of the conversation trying to steer the subject toward anything that isn’t related yor forger. 

much to your chagrin, you’re subjected to almost three hours of the younger briar sibling gushing about his sister, and if not for the huge pay check that you’ll be receiving at the end of the month, you’d probably have told your superior officer that you were quitting. 

soon, the weeks are flying by, and you somehow manage to think of loid less and less. 

until, one night, you’ve stayed behind to fill in the paperwork that yuri hadn’t had the time to submit, because he’d insisted that he absolutely could not be late to dinner with yor tonight. 

‘i owe you,’ he’d promised, and you’d reluctantly given in the doe-eyed look that he’d given you with a chest heaving sigh. 

and so, here you are, leaving headquarters almost three hours later than usual. 

it’s already dark outside, the streetlights illuminating the pavement an amber glow. you stifle a yawn with the back of your hand, eyes squeezing shut as you do so. because of this, you fail to sense the sudden presence that appears right before you, until it’s too late. 

you roughly collide with a bony shoulder, a hand clasping onto your elbow to steady your balance. your eyes fly open to meet a pair of steely blue orbs that are already fixated to your own as you come face to face with the very man that haunts your thoughts. 

‘loid.’ 

his name flies from your mouth before you can stop it, and you’d be blind to not notice the way that his gaze flickers to watch the way your lips form the singular syllable. 

you make to put some space between the two of you with a step backwards, but his hand at your elbow holds fast. 

‘i’ve been looking for you.’ 

he blurts the words before you can move away, and you stiffen, bewildered by his open honesty. 

‘because?’ 

his hand slips from your elbow, and you swallow down the disappointment that you feel when he takes a step backward. for a long moment, he stares at you, and his attentions form a frown between your brows. 

‘you look well,’ he notes, voice low as his gaze catches on the badge that hangs from around your neck. ‘yuri, huh?’ 

you offer a polite smile, unsure of what else to say as you murmur, ‘yeah.’ 

something flashes in those blue eyes that bore into you in a way that makes it seem as if he’s staring straight through you. 

there’s a beat, and then he says, ‘yor and i…’ 

you immediately grimace. you take another step backwards, throwing a thumb over your shoulder, in the opposite direction of which you were originally heading, ‘look, i have to—’

he blurts, ‘we’re getting a divorce.’ 

the rest of your sentence dies on the tip of your tongue. 

you look at him properly. 

uncharacteristically, he looks weary, eyes tired and hair a little mussed as if he’s run his fingers through it one too many times. for once, he openly wears a strange mix of both unease and hope that crooks his eyebrows upwards. a niggle of doubt bites at the back of your neck, but when your eyes lower to glance at his left hand, there isn’t a ring in sight. his finger is free of a tan line, and you recognise that he’s probably not worn that band of gold for a long time. 

and you are loathe to admit that the sight has your pulse beating just that little bit faster. 

‘loid—’

‘can we talk?’ he interrupts, glancing around as if only just remembering that you’re both stood in the middle of the pavement. the street is empty save for the two of you, but you agree that it’s probably better to continue this conversation in private. before your lips part to agree, loid beats you to it, ‘i live nearby—we can talk there.’ 

he’s already steering you into the opposite direction, and you’re rushing to keep up, breathless by how quickly he’s walking when you ask, ‘you moved out?’ 

‘yes.’ 

his answer is short, blunt, and the way he says it reminds you of the time when you’d first been assigned to him. the nostalgia has the corners of your mouth tilting upward, eyelids lowering as you follow him toward his new home. 

it really is nearby—just a mere few streets away from your place of work—and you follow him inside the multi-storey apartment complex. he leads you through the reception, and the elevator ride up to the ninth floor is silent, your spine tense with apprehension. you pointedly keep your gaze fixed to the seam where the closed doors meet in the middle. from the corner of your eye, you can see him glancing at you every so often before shifting his stare to the red numbers that are slowly counting upwards. 

only, just as the elevator reaches the fourth floor, loid is slamming his palm over the emergency stop button. 

there’s a deafening, grating noise as the gears suddenly grind to a halt, and the vibrations actually make your teeth hurt. 

when things eventually fall quiet, you turn to gape at him, ‘what the fuck are you—?’ 

your protests are silenced by his mouth moulding to yours. 

his hands are closing over your cheeks, holding you still as he presses his chest yours, your chin tilted up to allow him to meld his tongue to yours. the sudden assault of the scent of him dizzies you, and you’re scrambling to drag in air between your lips with each kiss that he forces you to accept. previously, you would’ve liked to believe that your resolve is far stronger than this, but as soon as he guides you to mirrored wall of the elevator, all rationality is thrown out of the window. 

you return his kisses with as much vigour as he’s giving them, your fingers tangling into the silky strands of his hair and tugging a low groan from the centre of his chest. you feel it vibrate against yours, and you answer by licking at the inside of his cheek. at some point, one of his hands travels down to the waistband of your trousers, deft fingers dipping just under the fabric to tug it a little further down your hips. 

‘in here?’ you whisper against his lips, to which he answers with a hum, already working to open the clasp and pull the zipper downward. 

‘here,’ he confirms, the tips of his middle and index fingers gently brushing over your pulsing clit. ‘i need you now.’ 

your responding moan is muffled into the crook of his neck, his fingers stroking between your legs as they drag over your slit, gathering the clear slick that has pooled from your fluttering hole, to circle it over the bundle of nerves that continuously throb for him. 

‘loid—!’ 

your breath is hot on his neck, and he’s already aching between his legs, and he can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that this is happening after months and months of him spending many a night, alone with nothing but the palm of his hand to ease the ache of your absence. 

he hadn’t ever imagined that he’d miss you as much as he has, that he’d spend weeks breaking all kinds of protocol in order to search the database for your new post just because he’s been so desperate to see you. 

he’d broken the news of his intention to file for divorce to yor just a day after the kiss that you’d shared at the gala, and where he’d expected sadness, anger, maybe even a curse word or two, there had been nothing but an understanding smile, a pat on the shoulder and a genuine wish of good luck. the only thing that she’d requested was to keep the house, and loid could give her that, at least. 

and now that he finally has you exactly where he wants you, he doesn’t intend to let go. 

his fingertip prods at your hole, and he licks a stripe along the length of your neck, suckling a bruise into the crook of your shoulder. you moan for him, voice like honey when his finger glides along your inner walls that flutter and dance, and his cock throbs within the confides of his slacks. 

one finger is quickly joined by another, and you stretch around them, your slick cunt eagerly sucking them back inside with each careful thrust. he thumbs at your clit, greedily inhaling the mewl that is panted from between your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth once more. 

his clothes are starting to feel constrictive, his skin burning under the layers of the fabric of his three piece suit, and he can feel sweat beginning to gather on his brow. and as if sensing his discomfort, it is your fingers that are now tackling the task of ridding him of his blazer and waistcoat. momentarily, he has to retrieve his fingers from the space between your legs to allow the finely stitched fabrics to drop unceremoniously to the floor. you’re then unbuttoning his dress shirt, and as soon as the fabric openly hangs from his shoulders, your hands reach to slide all over his newly exposed skin. 

wherever you touch, goosebumps are coaxed to the surface of his skin, and when you gently flick at one of his nipples with the pad of your finger, he’s unable to hide the moan that escapes him. you grin, watching him through heavily lidded eyes as you drop to your knees to make quick work of unbuckling his belt and shoving his slacks as far down his thighs as you need for them to be out of the way. 

his cock bobs before you, the tip swollen pink, his balls filled tight with the promise of being emptied soon. your awe-filled stare quickly morphs into one of unfiltered hunger, and his dick angrily twitches a dribble of precum that you immediately lean in to catch on the flat of your tongue. your clit hammers away, throbbing with need, and your eyes close, mouth stretching wide to accommodate the width of his bulbous tip slipping past your spit-slicked lips. 

the moan that bursts from out of his mouth is nothing short of wanton, ocean blue eyes rolling to the back of his head as he braces his weight by stretching an arm to press his palm to the mirror behind you. his groin coils, arousal ebbing its way through his abdomen, and he chokes on his breath when you swallow down as much of his length as your tightening throat will allow. your tongue curls around his girth, and as your head retreats, there’s a suction caused, one that makes his toes curl inside his dress shoes. he breathes your name, eyes peeling open to see that you’re already looking at him through your lashes, cheeks hallowed around his cock and saliva beginning to drool from the corners of your mouth. 

fingers trembling, he buries them into the tresses of your hair groaning loudly when your tongue traces over the splatter of nerves that sit just under the head that twitches against the bumpy texture of the roof of your mouth. your hands come to grasp at his hips and you tug, encouraging a sudden forward cant of his hips that has you choking down the remainder of his girth, gagging noisily and messily, spittle landing on the patch of curls that surround the base of him. 

‘oh fuck,’ he slurs your name, and you can feel his muscles flexing as his erection retreats until his leaking tip smears over your lips, your tongue darting to lap at his slit, greedily inhaling the heady taste of his essence. 

his dick pushes past your lips once more, and his hips dare to gently thrust forward, then drag backwards, repeating the action over and over again until your throat has no choice but to adjust to the stretch of him. the inside of your cheeks are hallow around him, and your hands trace over every inch of naked skin that you can reach. with one of his hands planted onto the mirror, the other brushes over your cheek and he feels his cock starting to twitch with the promise of his impending completion. 

you watch his brows pinch together, a pink flush staining his pale cheeks, ocean blues now a shade or two darker than usual. his mouth hangs open as he repeatedly voices his lust-driven arousal with an array of sighs, grunts and moans, each sound encouraging the growing mess that has long soiled your underwear that now sticks to the outline of your pussy. your fingers reach for his balls, heavy in your palm as you roll them, kneading the soft skin with your thumb. 

‘hng—ah!—hmph!’

he stifles a sharp moan by clamping his teeth into his bottom lip, and in response, your clit throbs again and again, begging for friction. your thighs press together, and it is when the vibrations of your hum that triggers the onslaught of his seed that squirts down your throat in hot slithers of white. he voices his elation in a garbled mess of your name, balls drawing tight as they empty themselves into your mouth. 

you happily swallow down everything that he gives you, eyelids fluttering shut as your lips pepper kisses along his softening length when he finally runs dry. his cock hangs limply, still half hard when you press a kiss to the patch of curls between his legs. chest still heaving for air, he reaches to help you to your feet and just manages to ghost his lips over yours before his hand are on your shoulders, twisting you so that you now face the mirror. 

you already guess his intentions before you feel him guide your hands to grip the handrail, his tongue darting out to taste the perspiration that has formed on the back of your neck. with your face this close to the mirror, it’s hard to hide from the blatant arousal that is plastered across your own reflection, pupils blown wide and hot breath puffing a ring of condensation on the glass. behind you, you watch as loid lowers to his knees, his head disappearing from view as his fingers busy themselves with tugging your trousers down your thighs. 

he peels away the soiled fabric of your flimsy underwear—the strip of cotton barely able to conceal your plump lips from view. 

eagle-like, he ogles at the thick glob of slick that drips from your slit, taking a deep breath to inhale the scent of your excitement. 

groaning under his breath, he nudges your knees, encouraging you to spread your legs, and instinctively, your back arches, giving him a first class view of your glistening folds. his prick is already twitching with interest, and from where it rests, safely tucked back into the confides of his briefs, it slowly begins to engorge with freshly pumped blood once more. 

the first taste of you has his tastebuds singing. 

you taste of liquid platinum, both sweet and tangy on his tongue, and his nostrils are ravenous in the way of which they repeatedly inhale in order to make sure that he never forgets what your excitement smells like, and he relishes in the sound of your voice keening higher and higher each time his teeth graze over the hardened pearl that throbs just for him. 

your thighs tremble when his tongue first breaches the hole that his fingers had claimed just a short while earlier, and when he wiggles the muscle inside you, you shriek his name, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. you listen to him suckling and slurping and although embarrassing, it’s also serving to turn you on more, your clit throbbing harder than you’ve ever felt before. 

your eyes blink through steadily forming tears, and you peer through the mirror to the space between your legs. from this angle, you aren’t able to see much of his face except for his chin, and the occasional flash of his tongue when he strokes it over your clit, but you are able to watch the rise and fall of his curled hand as he fists his cock to full mast. 

it’s hard to focus on both things at once, but the sight of him pleasuring himself is one that makes your stomach knot, your hole clenching around the intrusion of his tongue. the muscle feels like fire inside you, licking and teasing at your fluttering walls until you start to feel the struggle to stay upright. 

you don’t know how long you remain impaled on his tongue for, but when he retreats, the stretch has left your hole gaping for him, clenching on nothing but empty air. your lips open to protest the loss of being filled, only to choke on a shocked yelp when a ball of saliva is spat directly onto your dripping folds, two long fingers spreading and guiding the liquid directly into your cunt with one rough thrust. 

he sets a pace that matches the rapid rise and fall of his fist, the tip of his cock now an angry shade of red that almost looks painful. you feel his lips at the curve of your asscheek, and he presses several kisses there before he fixates his attentions back to your clit. his teeth aren’t at all gentle as they nip and suck and pinch at your sensitive nub, and aided by the brutal pace of which his fingers are fucking into you, it isn’t long before you feel the familiar telltale sign of your orgasm fast approaching. 

you’re sobbing literal tears by the time the coil in your gut snaps, violently wracking its way through your entire body and expelling through your lips with a hoarse wail that rings in your ears. at this exact moment, loid yells from somewhere between your legs, and then you feel a scorching splatter of cum paint the back of your right knee. it rolls down your leg in a sticky mess, one that matches the drip of your juices when loid’s fingers tug free from your cunt with a blush-inducing squelch. 

it takes a long time for you to catch your breath, and although his lips are pressing to your behind once more, you can feel the uneven shake of his own breath that fans across your skin. 

eventually, he rises to his feet, hands reaching to help you stand upright, and the motion has your slick dribbling a mess all over your inner thighs. your eyes meet his through the mirror, and a beat passes before the tiniest of smiles graces his lips. you can’t help but mirror it, and when he awkwardly clears his throat to offer to help fix your clothes back into place, you allow him to do so, nose scrunching at the sensation of your soiled underwear being tugged up and over your hips, but then smirking when he accidentally traps his finger in the zipper of your trousers. 

you return the gesture by dressing him, and just as you’re adjusting the buttons on his waistcoat, he presses at the emergency stop button for a second time tonight. the silence is filled with that horrid grating noise, before the whole cart shakes once, twice, and then it’s continuing its journey up to the ninth floor. you’re currently draping his blazer over his shoulders when he kisses you again, and when your tongue slides along his, you’re able to taste your fading scent on the tip of his tongue. he groans into your mouth, fingers tangling into your hair, the both of you pointedly ignoring the puddle of mess that you’ve left on the floor as he kisses you breathless. but all too soon, you’re interrupted by the bell announcing your arrival with a ding! before the doors slowly part, and the bright glow of the hall light floods inside to illuminate the halo that surrounds the back of loid’s head.  

and on the keypad, the number nine flashes red. 

© obitohno. all rights reserved. do not repost my works.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Tf2 mercs as roommates I guess

Long-awaited sequel to tf2 mercs as gaming channels. Workshopped in the same fashion (in conversation with my siblings when we should be sleeping)

Scout is the worst roommate in the world. Scout does not do his laundry or the dishes and kinda expects you to do it for him. He is a jock and they're shitty jock laundry and shitty jock dishes. He gets water all over the floor when he gets out of the shower. He's super chill tho and fun to hang out with even if he is a smelly extrovert

Soldier is actually the worst roommate in the world. You can't invite people over because he's genuinely the weirdest person you've ever met. He gets up super early and is loud as hell about it. He's always inviting you to hang out with him tho. If only you liked being naked covered in honey

Pyro is the best roommate in the world idc. Pyro could burn my house down and I wouldn't care bc they're such a great guy

Demo is actually pretty okay! He's totally used to pulling his own weight and rocks to hang out with and even if he passes out on the couch you let him because he's great. He's my favorite can u tell

Heavy is fucking fantastic. Heavy will make you breakfast. Heavy will protect you from home invaders with his minigun. He does the laundry for the second, smaller bed in which he puts his gun. He's great he is also my favorite

Engineer is building some kind of Machination in your basement. If you don't have a basement, the garage. No garage, your parking space. Even though the basement is basically inaccessible because the floor is covered with broken glass, he makes sure to keep all that stuff out of your space. If he ever uses anything of yours, he buys it back for you.

Medic, similarly to Engie, is constantly building machinations in your home. However, he does not clean up after himself and your apartment is now full of cut-up paper plates that he doesn't even buy back for you </3. You confront him about it and he tells you he made a quantum suckentuben or whatever out of paper plates to vacuum the stairs. You tell him you live in an apartment building and don't have to vacuum the stairs. I want him so bad

Sniper is the weirdest man on the fucking planet. He also gets up super early, but is disturbingly silent about it. He likes to go outside and sit in trees to drink his coffee. He'll leave for five days to go fishing and come back with some bigass swordfish or something strapped to the top of his RV, promises to do something with it, and then passes out for twenty hours straight. He does get rid of the fish though. You can't complain about that

Spy is technically your roommate but you hardly see him. He does not want to hang out with you. He sits in his room all day by himself and you don't go in there because it smells and he pretends not to notice you whenever you try to hang out. Every couple of weeks he'll come home with a new suit but is constantly behind on his share of the rent because he's broke. A mystery wrapped in an enigma or whatever his deal is

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

[moontours]

hi bestie, i have a question 🕺 what would you recommend for someone who wants to start with black widow? <3

HI MARCYYYY <333 i'll break this up into sections!!

let's start with the essentials:

black widow (1999) — natasha's first solo, yelena's first appearance

black widow (2004) — imo, one of her better runs during this time period, insight into her enhancements and past

⭐️ black widow (2010): the name of the rose — if you read ANYTHING from this list, only one thing at all, let it be this. this is natasha's best solo, best writing, portrays her duality and relationships perfectly and is all around beautiful. i cant stress it enough

winter soldier (2012) — another really good run with stunning art! this is essentially for her and bucky's relationship but also it's really good in general. also important for context about their relationship moving forward

black widow (2016) — a very decent run with a good plot and really good art!

my personal faves! im a huge fan of her characterization in old comics but i understand that not everyone wants to read those:

tales of suspense (1959) #52-53 — natasha's first appearance

daredevil (1964) #84-121 — i just love her characterization here and the way she balances being her own person and being matt's partner. a lot of fun imo

iron man (1968) #315-317 — good spy content, fun, my tonynat besties are in this

iron man (1998) #5-6, 9-11, 50 — same as above

daredevil (1998) #61-64, 77-80 — this is one of my fave arcs for natasha ever. her characterization here is so good and you get to see her take no shit attitude and also darewidow besties

black widow (2010): the name of the rose

iron man (2010) kiss & kill: MY BESTEST FRIENDS!!

winter soldier (2012)

other runs that exist that i either don't like or don't care about but you might be interested in:

black widow (2002) — more yelena but tbh this arc is like ..... so weird. like id read it but keep in mind its weird

black widow: pale little spider — yelena solo. skip. its horrible

black widow: the things they say about her — i actually like this run it has yelenat and a fun plot imo it just has no place in the other lists

black widow (2014) — fan fave but absolute snoozefest to me, idc for it its long and boring but it does have the infamous noto art. and also liho my bestie

tales of suspense (2017) — another fan fave but idrc for it bc it has a focus on clintbucky which is boring to me bc i wanted more nat and also idc for her clone story **

black widow (2019) — this one is ehh its like a typical spy nat that lacks a lot of depth but it has some pretty good quotes

the web of black widow — same as above, i feel like its pretty lacking but it has some of nat's most important relationships. feels a bit mcu-fusion tho

black widow (2020) — her current ongoing. skip. so bad. so awful

** you'll need context from secret empire to understand this, however i would not recommend secret empire its an absolutely godawful run

i kept this to mostly solos instead of team books and events but i think this about covers it but if you have any questions feel free to ask me and if you want to talk abt any of these im always down <33

[gwyns]

One thing I honestly don't understand about e/riels is their obsession with things happening off page. They want Azriel to have fallen madly in love with Elain off page, they want Elain to have gotten completely over her trauma off page and be perfectly happy as she is, they want her to have found her friendship trio off page, they want her to have started her spy training off page etc. I honestly don't understand what they expect their supposed e/riel book will be about in terms of romance. Them fucking in page one after being already married? The acotar books are heavy on character development and finding your own place and people to belong to, yet they want elain to get exactly 0 of that. But sure, they are the true elain fans.

THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYINGGG!!!!!

if this was my favorite ship i would be so upset that everything important in their relationship happened off page. the best part of romance novels is seeing the characters go from strangers to lovers. how can you be content with things like bread and roses?? is that really all your ship is capable of???? 😭

and they act like we're jealous or something of their "buildup" but.... no........ i feel sorry for them lmao. if they think a scene from a completely different series that doesn't even have half of their ship in it or a basic announcement that the b&n edition of acosf is being reprinted somehow confirms their ship then.... you look desperate, no way around it. if it's so OBVIOUS why do you have to take mundane things and blow them out of proportion? bc i promise you sjm isn't hiding hints in her REAL LIFE PREGNANCY that point to an e/riel endgame.

sjm loves character driven books, and loves showing us their development so there's no way in hell if she was writing an e/riel book we wouldn't get the all the good parts. one of my favorite things about her books is her showcasing how her characters' work through their trauma and grow, it's in every book of hers. she's not going to have elain's happen off page and then write 800 pages of them awkwardly fucking. no, that's not how she works.

i agree with you on that last bit so much. elain fans should just want what's best for her, even if it doesn't fit into their self insert fantasies. do i have a ship preference when it comes to her? absolutely!! but as long as we get a satisfying arc for her and she ends up happy by the end idc. let elain flourish and stop trying to make her into something she's not.

[miraculermarinette]

Ok so I haven't actually watched miraculous in a while mainly because I dislike the show so I did the only reasonable thing and made a better version of it in my head!

Idk how many people ship tikki/plagg and idc. I always imagined kwamis being able to shapeshift into other forms as well such as: human form and animal.

1. E.G tikki as a human would be red-headed w freckles and black eyes and as an animal (in this case insect) it would be a ladybug. Same for plagg, he would have black hair and bright green cat eyes.

2. I imagine them as to having lives before the miracle box. Where kwamis would fight in wars and rule civilizations. Where plagg and tikki weren't the first kwamis of creation and destruction but rather they had predecessors who created them.

3. Become I am a weak and simple woman they obviously need to have an enemies to lovers story where - here two scenarios play out - scenario one: tikki is a spy for her kingdom and makes plagg (commander and king of the opposing kingdom's armies) trust her. Scenario two: Tikki is a commander and queen of kingdom A's armies and Plagg is commander and king of kingdom B's armies. And both kingdoms are at war with each other. Hope that made sense?

4. They get married obviously after lots of intense making out and knives to throats they become everyone's power couple.

5. And respective to the fact that they are the two most powerful miraculous they bring together the two kingdoms of kwamis and humans and everything goes great.

6. Except because there are humans involved everything goes sideways. Why? You may ask. Because it's humanity, everything goes sideways with humanity. So as a final resort Tikki creates the miracle box where she has a place for all the kwamis we see in the show I.E. her court/closest allies/bff's etc.

7. In this version, all miraculous jewellery present themselves as rings (shaped like chat noir's ring) or golden bracelets. Something inconspicuous and not noticeable.

8. Tikki and Plagg can only see each other in the miracle box because their miraculouses were never used at the same time that often until Marinette and Adrien so once every week they sneak out in their human forms ( they can fly obv I'm not a savage) to go see each other.

9. The reason they aren't in their human forms that much is because they can be seen on camera when they're in them and adults shadowing high school teens tends to get a LITLLE suspicious.

10. Marinette and Adrien are aware that they're kwamis are married and in love, unfortunately this only contributes to Adrien's obsessive need to get ladybug to love him because "tHeyRe SoULmaTes".

11. When the other guardian (Grandmaster Shu-Han? Please correct me if I said his name wrong) comes in. After the whole drama of him trying to take the miracle box he decides to be a better mentor than Fu and teaches the kids how to fight, adapt, deal with the trauma of seeing mass destruction every other day, and shield themselves against akumas. He even lets Marinette keep the miracle box as long as she's responsible with it. But when Mari realizes she can remotely summon the miraculous she gives it to him for safekeeping. (Obviously not like how Fu did bc she needs her memories, sorta like he's borrowing it for a while. Also Shu-Han totally has a soft spot for the kwamis).

12. At one point Shu-Han initiates a swapping of miraculous for one month. So Plagg stays with Marinette while Tikki stays with Adrien. For obvious reasons neither kwami can talk about their actual holders.

13. Also did I mention all their outfits are more or less the same? Everything black. Black pants, shirt, vests, coats/jackets, hoods, masks (two types of masks: domino ones around their eyes or if they want ones that cover their mouth but leave their eyes open). The main inspiration for this was Inej Ghafa from the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo and the Shadow and Bone show on Netflix.

14. After excessive training with Grandmaster Shu-Han marinette's weapons change to match her combat prowess. Her main weapons are knives and bow/arrows whereas Chat still uses his staff but it can also turn into a spear.

15. Lukanette or Marigami is cannon. Why? Because I said so.

So this was just a tiny snapshot of what mlb fanfiction would look like if I had the talent, energy and skill to write it. Your thoughts are always welcome! :)

!!! That was really nice! Although I don't ship kwamis, your idea for the fanfiction is really interesting.

You should write it, I am pretty sure it would be great 😉.

[sunfortune]

honestly idec about sharon and bucky together. let her be happy. st*cky and st*ggy stans trashed her and emily so badly that I actually WANT to see sharon in a relationship w someone just to piss people off. as long as her character is developed well idc who she sleeps with.

no they need to give sharon the characterization that they robbed from her and gave to natasha in catws bc scarlet johansson wanted a bigger part and robbed from her comic counter part to make peggy interesting. a romantic subplot with no development AGAIN?? is just gonna solidify her character as nothing but a love interest with no other relevance. while they use her true characterization to build up other characters that they couldnt make interesting on their own

i know people like to hate on sharon bc she’s an easy target and she Was given nothing. but if you look at the facts of how her entire character was handled. she would’ve been That bitch if they didn’t constantly tear her apart to lift everyone ELSE up. natashas best characterization to date was in catws. that is STILL the only movie that gave natasha some actual substance beyond ~badass sexy spy lady~. while the avengers movies consistently did absolutely nothing for her. and it was all off what was supposed to be sharon’s original characterization in catws

like it’s messed up how many characters they built up from sharon’s character. and at the very LEAST she deserves to have her moment too after being used to make everyone else interesting

and if they wanna entertain romantic subplots After that. that’s fine. but the Last thing her character needs to be thrown into coming straight off cap civil war is another rushed underdeveloped romance

[thedragonsfate]

Long post abt Willie bc Ive been thinking about him CONSTANTLY (warning for discussion of emotional abuse/manipulation)

- Anyway yall ever think abt how LONG Willie mightve been wrapped up with the HGC if he rlly died in the 80s. like we're probably talking DECADES under Calebs thumb

- how engrained survival behavior becomes after a fraction of that and escapism (thank God for ghost skateboarding) and Convincing Yourself it's Not That Bad

- also the weird instinct of allegiance toward the person who's manipulatated you (fuck Caleb) because of specific conditional kindnesses that have been skewed to feel like genuine care/something you owe them for

- I feel like it's really apparent in Willie taking the FULL blame so hard for the boys getting stamped. the fact of the matter is Willie didn't cause Calebs actions, and yes he brought them to the HGC but he did everything out of a desire to just. genuinely help them. A little bit of guilt for bringing them makes sense but I think just like Alex's anxiety pushing him to take the full blame just because he met Willie, Willie taking the full blame for Calebs actions bc he "knows what he's capable of" is an over ownership of blame that isn't his. which makes sense bc im sure some of yall know what I mean when I say ppl like Caleb are Very Good at twisting their actions into being Your Fault.

- I'm sure Willie probably wanted to give them the chance to see the other side of how he spends his afterlife a little as well. Bc he DOES like to just hang out and party and I'm sure there's a part of him that wanted to give the boys (Alex) the opportunity to taste it, even with the price, not to trap them but to share something hes surely been actively convincing himself is awesome with the boy he wants to spend forever with (and his band)

- I think so much of it comes down to that convincing yourself / being convinced that it's Not That Bad even when your gut is screaming that it is.

- Willie is obviously fearful of Caleb, and we see Caleb threaten him, and you know Caleb keeps that exact threat under his belt and has surely used it before. and you can see how immediately the self loathing and "you should've known better" mindset kicks in and you Learn that shit. decades of being belittled and blackmailed and gaslit and mocked but given small bits of "kindness" (see: I even saved a special table for them + Willies excitement and surprise) makes you harsh on yourself bc you can only be treated a certain way for so long before the manipulation sets into your own thoughts, hell that's the point

- ALSO the feeling of powerlessness! willie spying on the boys and telling Alex that he can't explain. I know there are some people who, even with the threat of being destroyed, would argue that he can but. between the threat of being ACTUALLY snuffed out and other potentially more painful fates from a man with everything on you and no qualms about hurting others.. he can't. idc what anyone says there IS bravery in Willie finally telling them what's going on and how to potentially fix it.

- not to mention the horror of hearing that Caleb stamped them - whether you believe the club stamp is attached to taking the souls of club members or if you think it's Always about the flickering - Willie knows what it is immediately. Willie has seen Caleb use it SPECIFICALLY for the jolts and the end of existence altogether. and that's scary

- and the FEAR of that because it's not an empty threat. he's seen what Caleb can and will do. it was already such a heavy weight on him and then it happens to this great guy he's met and really likes and he's convinced it's entirely his fault

-and honestly there's also just the element of. even if it WAS an empty threat. Caleb has established himself as this all powerful ghost who can and will hurt others should he "need" to. regardless of his actual power he's instilled too much fear into Willie for him to take the chance that he's bluffing

- all I'm saying is. there's a really poignant duality to Willie knowing and fearing Calebs cruelty and Willie knowing he's stuck tied to the HGC & having to make the most of it if he wants to mentally survive this eternity long debt to this stupid magician ghost. that just screams emotional abuse lmaoo

-that's all for this post sometimes I just think abt ppl who blame Willie and go????? bro did we watch the same show? guy couldn't be more kind hearted and earnest to help. there's not a shred of malicious intent toward the guys. It makes endless sense that Willie would convince himself he's nervous about Caleb for no reason and that he would help the guys out. both because he wants SO bad to help Alex and his friends, to get him smiling again because they looked so frustrated and disappointed but also because there's no way he can have survived, enjoyed being around the HGC, aware of the dangers and threats it comes with, without having been even just somewhat convinced that it's fun it's not that bad I'm overreacting Caleb takes care of us surely he'll help and the guys can accomplish what they want

ok now I'm done xndndnncn always feel free to talk to me abt this thank u if you read the whole thing lmao