#this is literally the only part of this video i'm giffing

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

2020 MAMA 'Dynamite' Dance Break

[dilf-docs]

This Thing Upon Me, Howls Like A Beast

professor!pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: to cover some social hours and as a favor to your recently fallen-ill friend, you become your research methodology professor's TA. but here's the catch: you've got history, and what you really mean is beef; good, pure, unadulterated loath.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, pwp, rivals to ??, hate sex, p. in v. (do i even wrap it atp), degradation kink, daddy kink, lwk exhibition kink bc this happens on his office (rip to the furniture), bit dom!pedro + brat taming (again?? stop it mayor we get itttt omg) sprinkled here and there, fingering, squirting, creampie (everyone got invited to the party), reader is a loud-mouth (who's this divaaa), pedro's kind of an asshole and a perv in this one (ooc sorry), don't expect a second part this is literally just self-fulfilling filth without a storyline

word count: 6,451 words

side note: hello! this won the poll. am i the only one with this fantasy? pls tell me not; i feel insane looking some of my professors like a fucking starved drooling dog. giggling as we speak, bc the movie's got everybody insane between marvel renaissance, gif dump, new content, husband!pedro material and professor wet dreams out there... this piece of work is the last. hope you enjoy it, citizens! ps. jin of bts makes an appearance bc i love my seven men and i'm currently sick so he is sick too lmao (ah pero para escribir cochinadas ahí sí estás sana verdad)

It's your fault, really, for opening it in the middle of the class. It was a link, and you should've saved it for later, but then your thumb clicked into the blue underlined text your friend sent, and the reel popped up on your screen.

Your laugh erupted before you could cover your mouth, your professors' words hanging mid-air.

"Who did that?"

Everyone looks at you. Those sell-out, ass-kissing, boot-licking dicks.

His eyebrows furrow until they seem to melt into one, a big angry scowl on Mr. Pascal's face.

"Something you'd like to share with the class, Ms. Y/n?"

His voice reverberates on the class' walls, sounding even scarier.

You shake your head, tone quiet as you let out a small, "No"

"No?" he repeats your words, mocking your insecure demeanor, "because with that loud ass laugh, it seemed like something important enough to dissrupt my class. So please, share. You can't leave us wondering in here"

People cough and avoid your gaze while you wish the building would collapse and kill everyone inside, you included. Oh, that would be good. But no, you're stuck on a space that now feels too small and his persistent gaze cuts right through you.

"I-It's not important-" you stumble over your words.

"Can't speak anymore? All that boldness, suddenly gone"

"Mr. Pascal" you plead. God, you had never even begged for anything in your life. But there's always a first.

"I said share" his voice menacing, like he's got not an ounce of sympathy in that sturdy body that could fit plenty. No, wait. Focus!

He grows impatient at your lack of movement, practically growling his next words:

"I won't repeat myself"

"I-I I don't know how to-" you cut yourself off, cringing at how pathetic you sound. "It's a video, so-"

"Then cast your phone and project it" he clicks his tongue, clearly enjoying this. What a sadistic motherfucker.

"I-I can't-"

Can Jesus please hurry up and come fast? Even better, immediately take this one to hell, please.

"Aw, you poor thing" he tuts, mockingly. No one dares to speak, and you'll learn later that he's got his own reputation. For a reason.

"Don't worry, I'll help you myself"

Turns out, the fucker made you and your shaky legs stand up and walk the walk of shame. Then, you had to proyect the silly video, which in handsight, wasn't funny anymore. While some of your classmates laughed, that didn't lessen how humilliated you felt.

It had happened during your first year at university, on a subject you really couldn't care less and when you were still (practically) a baby; freshly eighteen. But now you were twenty, almost finishing your career, and the shaky insecure teenager was long gone, replaced by a secure (albeit a bit of a bitch), confident woman.

That had been your first encounter with professor Pascal.

You have to give him some credit: he is kind of the reason why you did a full 180 on your personality.

But life always comes back to bite you in the ass.

"What do you mean you're sick?" you scoff, "we were supposed to go to Dave's party tonight!"

Your friend lets out a cough that sounds borderline animalistic.

"First of all, don't come closer. I'll pass it to you" Jin speaks up, voice rough from the earlier death-threatening cough. "And second, do you think I care about a stupid party? I'm dying here"

"Don't be so dramatic" you roll your eyes.

"Hello? Didn't you hear that cough?!" he sounds offended, reinforcing the feeling by throwing one of his used tissues at you. You dodge his lame throw with a yuck. "I think you're devoid of empathy"

"Well, thank Mr. Pascal for that"

Jin wasn't your friend when that happened, but when you became buddies, he eventually came to know about your beef with the older man. Yes, beef, because after the Reel Deal (as you both have come to call it), he made your life impossible. If it weren't for your skills and intelligence, you'd probably fail his subject. Mr. Pascal gave you the hardest time ever: be it pairing you with the absolute worst students or making your assigments more difficult, for an "unknown" reason.

Eventually, even after such a traumatic experience and subject being way behind, it became a staple in your duo to bring him up everytime something negative happened or was mentioned.

("You're so funny!")

("Thanks, a professor pushing fifty made my life impossible when I was eighteen")

But here's an even funnier thing: for unknown reasons, Jin became his TA last semester. Probably he didn't know that you were friends, and that has to be the reason he's actually a decent human being towards the younger boy. I'm telling you, Jin would insist, the whole mean asshole shtick is propaganda!

"Talking about him..."

"Stop" you raise your hand dramatically, "enough bad news today"

"You can still go to the party, you know?" he giggles, earning another cough that practically leaves him voiceless. "Why do you insist on taking me? I don't know this people!"

Jin was two years older your senior.

"But it's not fun without you!" you insisted on dragging him around everywhere after you met because he tutored you. "Who will I bore with all my failed flirting attempts?"

"Thank God, not me" he ignores your pout. "Besides, wasn't like Marcos insisting you went with him? There's your chance!"

"But Marcos is boring..." you draw out, "and I need a man who makes me laugh"

"You can't really ask for that much in this economy"

Okay, here's the deal: there's another reason you can't let go of the Mr. Pascal subject, and it's not because of the beef. Hell, Jin can't know about this or he'll never let you live.

The answer is quite simple: as infuriating as he is, Mr. Pascal is hot. Like, middle-aged hot, with the greying hair and face marked by lines that tell time. If it wasn't for him you'd probably never discover your preference towards more... aged meat. You should be furious, and you were, but during all your petty arguments over topics or slides that didn't deserve to be reviewed for more than five minutes, the fire that ignited in your lower belly? You've never felt it before, and if that managed to get you more hot and bothered than a fresh boy ready to kiss your lips, neck and below? Well, that's a serious issue.

But it was his voice, that treated you with such vitriol, a deep and rich sound reserved just for you, or be it the way his auburn eyes seem to catch fire whenever you opened your mouth, dark forests burning in flames that threathened to reduce it all to ashes; yo were eager, anticipating the burn.

He saw your defiance, and instead of putting you in your place, he matched that wild rageful spirit of yours that refused to be tamed.

And that you liked, despite the history of hate between you.

"What about him?" you appear nonchalant, while retouching your makeup for the party.

"About him who?" Jin quips, "we just talked about two fine men-"

"The much older man"

A weird smirk forms across his lips. "Sure, of course"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. But it will be fun, nonetheless" he sits up straight from his previous surrendered position on the couch. "So, remember how I'm his TA, right?"

"Yes?" you pause. "Wait, if this is for me to help you check again more homeworks, no. I am not helping you read a hundred papers again for free"

"They weren't a hundred!" he barks. "Besides, it's not that"

"Then?" you press, not admiting how interested you were.

"Do you see my poor state?" you nod, not understaning where he's going. "Then, you're aware I'm not capacitated to do said task as of right now"

"I'm aware" you repeat, "what I'm not, is what does that have to do with me?" you resume your activity, going for your eyeliner. "So much mystery when you could've just said it in a pass"

"I need you to cover up for me"

The liquid eyeliner paints a line across half of your face. "What?!"

He laughs at your reaction, "You heard me"

You leave the mirror, now focusing your attention on him. "It's not April Fools yet, Jin. Heads up, it was a terrible prank"

Even if it made you hot to have such dynamic with your former IM professor, you weren't exactly keen on seeing him again. For you, he had turned into a memory slash fantasy at some point: an asshole that got your panties wet and pussy slick when you touched yourself at night, on behalf of all the dumb uni boys who couldn't reach that sweet spot of yours. What a dirty girl, his velvet voice on your head would say. Why are you touching yourself to your supposed foe, a much older guy? Fucking slut. Yeah, there was no way you'd go back to the real thing for the real him to taint the image you got off almost every night to, so he could say your name in that animosity that leaked with a barely contained rage and poorly disguised distate that left a bitter taste on your mouth, ego and self-steem on the ground. Because the truth is, no matter how much you argued back, he always won. You had just found your voice, but all efforts to bring him down seemed powerless, and he had won every single battle: even if he didn't have the last word, just with a look, he made you feel small, stupid and meaningless.

Nope. Not going back.

"And you have a terrible way of coping" he's quick to counter back. "Listen, it's not so bad. You just have to do meaningless tasks and pretend to be interested. Simple, right? Look, those extra credits could be useful, you know? And you excelled the class, y/n. Easy!"

"You're making it sound trouble-free as if the man doesn't hate me"

"He's definitely forgotten about it!" he waves his hand, dissmisively. "Probably jokes about it, like us!"

"Mr. Pascal doesn't seem the type of guy to have humor"

"Humor me, then" Jin sighs. "Do this for me, yes? When have I ever failed you?"

You wish for some sense to get into his skull. Had he forgotten every single anecdote?

"Think of all those times where I've taken you home, carried you drunk. Or the sad heart breaks I've been through with you, remember? Brought you ice cream and watched your favorite movies. Or when I used to tutor you? Or-"

"Enough of your emotional manipulation, Mr. Kim" you shake your head, dissapointed, all to avoid the quiet rage to settle in. "I thought better of you"

"It's for a week. Days if this pills do a miracle" his big black eyes look at you, pleading.

"Jin, you're not being a very good friend"

"It's just this one favor" he sighs. "Look, I can't loose this thing, okay? I get the credits I need to finally leave this shithole. If I don't show up, they'll hand it to someone else. You may not believe it, but it's very demanded"

People making lines to be emotionally abused by your former IM professor? Sure thing!

"Can't you tell someone, though? I'm sure they'll understand and you can go back once this cold is gone"

"I already did so, and they told me to show up or quit, due to the wait list of people applying for the position" you roll your eyes at your university's antics and their bullshit policies. "I don't trust anyone else to not fuck it up, but you. You'll just have to tell him about this minor inconvenience, and Mr. Pascal will understand. You know, I'm kind of his favorite guy in there..."

Great, just what you needed.

"Sorry to break it to you, but as soon as I walk through that door, all that pretty boy privilege would be gone"

"Please, y/n. Please"

"You'll never ask me any other favor?"

"No" he looks rather desperate; it's funny. "Hell, you can use the lake cabin for your birthday bash if you-"

"Deal"

Were you that easy to buy, huh? What does that say about you? Fucking ass sell-out.

Okay, but a birthday party in that all glass modern cabin with a deck and a jacuzzi does sound tempting. Who could be blamed? Not you, who will have to face her biggest foe in exchange for one wild bash.

You take a deep breath, imagining the lake water splashing and champagne on the deck (ugh, Jin's parents had a waterbike too. They were loaded), before knocking on his office. The door flings open, almost hitting you in the face, and there he is: Mr. Pascal, with his brown hair with white on the sides, loose curl over his face. Your fingers definitely don't itch to touch it, of course.

He's sporting a grumpy look (when doesn't he?), his big hands (you had forgotten how big they were) holding a bunch of papers (great, work!).

"Goddamn it, Jin. I was about to call you for standing me up, you know I hate when people don't tell me-"

He stops on his tracks, and that all too familiar scowl deepens his face.

"You"

Seethed with such venom, it's quite scary. Your legs tremble, yet your pussy clenches.

"Yes, me" you can't help but let out a little laugh at his antics. What did Jin said about him not remembering you? Well, can't be blamed; you weren't easy to forget.

His jaw clenches while looking down at you, but this time, you don't dare to flinch.

"What are you doing here?"

"See, Jin is my friend-"

He interrupts you, body frame resting on the door with a relaxed posture, but his shoulder looks tense.

"Oh, I liked him. Liked, as in past tense" he emphasizes, like a child throwing a tantrum. "How can a kid like him be friends with you?"

"We're best friends, thank you very much. As a matter of fact, I'm here as a favor" you hand him Jin's written apology, that may have one or two sneezes over it. "He's sick, and I'll cover him for a week, just so he doesn't loose the position. Said you would understand"

"I do" he replies on an instant, "you I don't"

"I passed your subject. With honors, even after you made my life impossible" you reply. "I'm the best candidate, face it"

He's rendered speechless for a moment, before he bites back:

"What makes you think I won't do it again?"

Now it's you who doesn't know what to say. It's infuriating how he still keeps winning.

"That's right" a wicked smile adorns his face. "Stay and find out"

Boy, don't you love a challenge?

So you stayed, much to his surprise. The bastard probably thought you were still the same scaredy mouse from first year.

Oh, it was delicious the way his whole face fell at your entrance next morning, how he quickly replaced it and introduced you in a clipped tone.

"Where's Jin?" a girl sitting in the front row had asked, more students joining to ask for his absence. You wonder if your friend's popularity stems from his brain or looks.

"He's sick" you answered. "But don't worry, he'll be back soon"

"Thank God" Mr. Pascal voices out loud.

You shoot him a look. He wasn't joking about not making it easy, was he?

"Oh, I didn't take you as a man of faith, Mr. Pascal, but you're right. It's important to thank our Lord everyday. So, thank Him for this week where I get to offer my suffering. In reward" you turn to face him, all the class silent as they take in your weird exchange, the atmosphere tense, "I'll never see your face again"

This time, you weren't going down without a fight.

"We'll see about that"

There it was: the fire to your gasoline.

So you pushed back, and argued everytime you disagreed, things that weren't part of your work but you still did because well, if he was still hellbent on making you suffer, you weren't going to make it easy for him this time.

If students argued against him, you took their side; even if just one did, you had their back.

You finished grading, but when returning the papers, you'd let them fall with a heavy thud over his desk, not even daring to look back.

At the time he'd talk to you, you wouldn't answer, instead just doing so, but no words to be uttered his way, as if he wasn't worth the effort. Not even a clipped okay.

And you enjoyed this; savored how he'd take every one of your petty actions with his full chest, eyebrows furrowed and face red in anger, but never answering, just silent, like deep in thought, a cold and calculated look overtaking his brown eyes.

Then the veins on his neck would pop as the ones of his tight white-knuckled grip on his mug. He'd speak up, and his voice had your legs shaking for some friction, wet spots now more often on your lingerie.

That he didn't know.

All he did was you were now more than a pebble on his shoe: a huge fucking stone, going down the hill, ready to squash him.

But boy, didn't he love a challenge?

It's Friday, aka last day of Torture Week.

You drop the quizzes for next Monday on his desk with the same harsh movement you had done all week.

"And it's over" you announce, papers plopping next to him, who is writing something. Mr. Pascal's hand moves, his L much longer than it should be. He looks up at you, annoyed, but his eyes flash with a hint of amusement.

"I see you can talk"

"Well, you already know me, Mr. Pascal. So you should be aware of what I can do"

"Love if you'd enlighten me"

He leans back on his chair, arms resting behind his head. It's hard not to take a brief glance to the flexing muscles, or how he's rolled up his sleeves, arms bulking up with the action, the fabric tense. It's hot in here. Wait, or has it gotten hot? Your face feels red, and when he catches your lingering gaze, he smiles devilishly.

"Like what you see, Ms. Y/n?"

No. You refuse to let him win this again, so close to the end.

"The release from prison?" you regain your posture, "very much"

"You may be a loud-mouthed brat, always knowin' what to say. I'll give that to you" he props himself to the front, elbows now resting on the desk as his eyes scan yours with a shade of dark covering them. "But a good liar you ain't"

You try to remain still, face emotionless, but your professor is a man of experience; an expert on his field. He who investigates, who has majored to be able to notice every small detail that can contribute to a hypothesis, has now formulated his.

You want this as much as he wants to.

You, with your wobbly legs and nervous eyes, glancing up at him with a hungry gaze that matches his own, despite your angry posture and irritated tone. You, that picked up petty arguments just to rile him up, because you liked the command for power on his voice. You like this, didn't you? Feeling small and weak, fangs pointy, just barely gracing the skin; the edge what set your skin on fire.

He isn't one to hold grudges (he's just mean all the time), but Pedro is willing to show you he hasn't forgotten about the years, and he'll be more than willing to fuck that bitchy attitude out of you.

"Hello?" you snap your fingers in front of him, "are you there?"

He snaps back to reality, your face covering his vision. In his position, he gets rewarded with a delicious peak at your breasts and the nude lingerine hiding them. He can imagine the perked nipples and the rosy plush skin he'd love to trace his tongue with, because even when you speak in a harsh voice, your eyes speak another thing. Fuck, he thinks he can even smell your arousal.

"I was talking to you" you don't even give him room to reply; snotty ass. "Said I was already leaving"

He thinks of himself as merciful. So he stands up, your bodies barely brushing against each other for a second, before he's opening the door, towering over you. He's so close, you can see the grey hairs mixed with the brown ones on his beard and mustache. God, you can smell him: coffee, cigarrettes, sandalwood and leather.

"You're free, Ms. Y/n" he follows your line of joke from before. "Just, humor me with one last thing"

You glance over at the clock above his desk. It's barely noon.

"Yes?" as dry as possible.

"Why did you accept?"

It's a simple question, really, but it manages to catch you off guard.

His tone is so different, maybe that's why: it's low, impossibly low. For less attentive people, it could even pass as a growl. But you hear, the amusement and dare laced within the velvety tone.

"Because I'm a good friend" you manage to speak, his body caging your smaller frame against the door.

This is ridiculous. You can leave at any time. Hello? Have your legs not gotten the memo?

"I didn't think you were capable of good things"

You huff, annoyed. "Well, I passed your subject, didn't I?"

He clicks his tongue.

"Many before you, and more after you have. Doesn't make you special, y/n"

Your name alone leaves a savory and toxic sweetness on his tongue.

"But how many of those you remember?" Mr. Pascal shots up an eyebrow, confused. "Tell me, how many can you name? That's right. I changed your life, whether you like it or not"

He's quick to reply. "Bullshit"

"Bullshit" you mock his angry tone, "but you recognized me the moment you opened the door. It didn't even take you seconds, hell, you hadn't even fully seen me and you knew who I was. Doesn't take a great investigator to figure it out, does it? So I take you missed me"

He can't believe your fucking mouth.

But then Pedro's remembering the way his pants tightened when you started to stand up to him, getting even worse when he still managed to shut you up. Fuck, the way you had smirked when you approved his subject during your last project delivery. He let you, because well, you had earned it: for the way your image had been the perfect companion for his hand pistoning his cock will full force, thinking of that loud mouth of yours gagged with it. Or when you walked past him in the hallways, wrapped in your own little bubble, your carefree laugh erupting and bouncing off the walls, tickling every hair of his body.

Part of him had accepted Jin to be his TA if that meant having a piece of you, even if a small connection, to you. Did you think he wouldn't know? That he wouldn't see you walking by in those small skirts that rode over when you bent? He noticed you; after all, you were in the same place most of your day.

You had excelled his subject after all, hadn't you?

So of course you'd notice his stare lingering in your back like a hand over your ass. How his eyes would dart to the skirts you wore on purpose, attentive to the moment you'd drop a pen on accident and your panties would be on sight, a wet spot in the middle you hadn't even noticed that smelled. Fuck, and wasn't it sweet?

You really feel like you have won this, don't you?

"Miss you?" Pedro hisses the words out. "I didn't miss you. What I think is happenin', is that me missing you is what you want"

"And I think you're repeating the same words and fumbling thoughts because you're a big egocentric prideful asshole who can't admit he's got the hots for his younger student"

"God. Don't you have such a filthy mouth, baby?"

Before he can register and you've fully let the nickname sink, your hand slaps his face with a potent movement that reverberates across his office's walls.

"You're a fucking piece of work, Mr. Pascal" but instead of being offended (or you don't know, fight back?), he remains silent. "You dirty old spoiled prick. Think I would never fight you back? That you can get away with whatever this is?"

"Whatever this is?" he chuckles, a sound rumbling deep from his chest. "Well, pretty girl, ain't you started this?"

He looms over you, hot breath carressing your face softly.

"Me? Unbelievable" you scoff. "You're one to talk, humiliating a poor freshman"

"Poor? You were distracted, in my class! Did your parents never teach you manners?!" his words leave droplets of spit that land in your face. "I had to put your stupid ass in place; that'll teach you something"

"Like what?" you taunt, recklessly, chest up and down with uneven breaths.

"I see it didn't work" his body language does an immediate switch. You remember a predator ready to strike their prey. "Maybe I should've tried harder"

His eyes do a wild dance over your body as so do yours.

Lip. Eyes. Skin. Cleavage. His tight pants. Biceps. Legs. Hair.

Before you can register, he's got you pinned against his desk, door closed in a loud move. There's a click sound somewhere in between, but you're too busy feeling his big hands grabbing your face roughly, as if he wants to consume your skin and feel your very bones on his calloused tips.

His lips are impossibly wet and eager, hands needily gropping your body. He pushes all his weight over you as he deepens the kiss, his tongue now inside your mouth, making you falter.

You let out a breathy moan when your back hits the desk, the wood digging your skin, but he swallows it whole, making it impossible for you to talk.

"Mmph-"

"Mmph?" he mocks between kisses, not giving you the chance to take a breath, or maybe he was scared you would get the time to think and would push him away. "Just my mouth got you all worked up, baby? Can't even speak"

Your fingers run through his hair for support, curls between your fingers. They felt soft, like they were meant to be combed through over and over again. He dives his head in your neck, hot mouth wet with its trail of kisses, making you squirm.

"I see" his breath ghosts over your reddened skin, "you wanted this just as much, don't you? This boys aren't enough for you?"

Every hair on your body prickles, his mouth claiming every spot he could, bites and hickeys all over your skin. You whine, pouting your lips, missing his already.

"It's okay, baby" he laughs, "just gotta show them who's enough for you" he grunts, "a man"

Mr. Pascal takes off your shirt, well, basically rips the poor thing, his hands relieved to finally touch your breasts. He roughly grabs one of them, and you bite your lip so hard, you almost feel the bitter metallic taste in your mouth. He lowers himself, despite his aching joints, to play with your hardened nipples, lapping them with his warm tongue, sucking and swirling until they turn swollen.

Your hand finds its way to his formal pants, fingers gracing over the fabric, feeling his cock straining against it. Just like you imagined it: big, like his presence. If it could, your pussy would jump in excitement, realistically just throbbing and leaking.

You untie his belt and buttons so you can begin to rub over his boxers. You can feel him trying to meet your touches, grinding onto your palm. He groans, deeply, enjoying your hungry stare, steady beat, parted lips and wet cunt.

He bucks his hips against you, propping himself on the wall behind his desk, which had moved from its original position thanks to the mayhem.

"You clearly don't know what you got yourself into, baby. But don't worry, I ain't letting you go just yet"

He pulls the skirt up, revealing the damp panties and mess between your legs. He licks his lips before rough digits find your wet folds. His fingers carress your impossibly tight walls, coating them with your slick.

"So fucking tight" he groans against your collarbones, "thought of yourself as uptight but I can fucking smell you dripping, you dirty slut. Could tell you loved provoking me becayse that's the only way your snotty ass can get off"

"F-fuck you, Mr. Pascal" you manage to choke out.

"Where are your manners? After how I've rewarded your big mouth, you bitch" he takes off your panties with skilled practice, the piece falling to the floor with a weak sound. Your bare cunt makes you shiver. "You think you're smart, baby? You think you can play these games and face no consequences at all?" he tuts. "No, Ms. Y/n, you know I hate wastin' my time, so be a good girl and don't make this harder for you, get that?"

You whine at his words, but refuse to shut your mouth.

"Oh, I'm smart" you laugh, "smart enough to have you on your knees for me"

An ugly grin spreads across his features.

"I will never bend for a bratty pretentious slut like you" he grips your hair with force, leaving your neck exposed, "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into, stupid cock hungry whore. You wanted my attention? It's all yours"

Then, with a low, almost feral growl, he grabs your hips and hoists you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He sweeps the papers and books onto the floor with a clatter, setting you down on the edge.

"You better behave, baby" Mr. Pascal bites your lower lip, "don't want people to know what we're doing in here, do you? Or would you want them to know just how much of a slut you are, spread on my desk as your cunt drips for me?"

He steps between your legs, pushing them further apart, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He leans in, his face inches from yours, voice low in a threatening rasp.

"I'll behave, I promise" mind in blank.

"No loud mouth bitchy stuck up attitude?"

You free his cock, hands scouting his shaft, his base, and balls. You fondled them while his fingers lingered closer to your pussy.

"No"

"This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be fucked stupid and used for my pleasure? Well, get ready, because I'm not going to stop until I've had my fill of this sweet little cunt"

He savors at the sight of your glistening folds.

"Let me-"

He laughs, seeing how you desire to guide his cock towards your entrance.

"Eager, little one?" he teases.

"Yes" you whimper, "I need you so badly, papi"

Your plea mixed with Spanish sends him on edge. His eyes darken with a primal, almost feral hunger at your desperate plea.

His voice is strained, rough with barely restrained lust.

"Fuck, you needy little thing. You want to take my dick until this desk breaks?"

He rubs the swollen head of his dick against your dripping slit, coating it in your arousal. Then, with one powerful thrust, he slams into you, burying himself to the hilt in your tight, hot cunt.

"So tight" he groans, starting to move and setting a brutal pace from the very beginning. The desk shakes and creaks beneath you with each forceful thrust, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the empty office. He punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust, grinding his pelvis against your clit. He sets a relentless, punishing rhythm, determined to fuck you into oblivion.

It's a goddamn view in here: him above you, droplets of sweat falling to your face, pristine hair now disheveled.

At this point, you were clenching so hard it hurt, walls fluttering around his massive girth. But he's greedy, and he's pushing himself deeper and deeper.

"Runnin' your mouth but now all quiet as you take all of me, hungry greedy whore" he digs his fingers into your cheeks harshly, but you find pleasure in the sting the pain causes. "Bet this is all you been thinking since you started talking back, huh? Don't worry, daddy's got you"

Surprisingly, he leans down, capturing your mouth in a dominating kiss, tongue invading your mouth. His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, squeezing lightly, a silent reminder of who you belong to.

"God. You're wet everywhere, baby"

His sweaty chest presses itself onto your tits as he forced his cock deeper within you, the plaid shirt sticking with sweat to his ablazed body, temperature high.

"T-the desk" you protest numbly; mind-fucked.

And oh, boy, doesn't he enjoy this view? Your fluttering eyelids, hazy eyes and trembling body.

So he keeps fucking you: pounding into you, rolling his hips skillfully, taking up all the space within you.

"I don't give a damn fuck about the desk, Ms. Y/n. I'm gonna fuck that attitude of yours until all you know is my name" he leans down, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of your neck, biting down hard enough to leave a mark. His hands grip your hips with bruising force, pulling you harder against him with each violent thrust. "Gonna break the desk, hell, fuck you on the floor if necessary, but you ain't leaving this office until my cum drips from your legs and everyone knows your tight little cunt is mine"

The desk groans and wobbles beneath you, the legs scraping against the floor as Pedro fucks you with wild abandon. The sound of your moans and the crude, wet slap of skin on skin echoes obscenely in the room.

His pubic bone grinds against your clit with each thrust, the rough friction sending jolts of electric pleasure shooting up your spine. His cock hits that perfect spot inside you, the one that makes your toes curl and your back arch off the desk.

He feels your walls starting to flutter around him, your body tensing as your orgasm approaches. Mr. Pascal leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a dark, intimate rasp.

"Why don't you be a good girl and tell daddy how good he's making you feel? Show me and everyone else what a desperate little slut you are, waiting for me to fill you up nicely with my seed"

He makes out of you a loud mess, a series of sweet sounds falling from your lips. You clench and he twitches, his digits holding your waist, keeping you in place for him.

"Good girl" he praises, "now you're gonna take it all, milk me dry, you greedy cocksleeve"

His thrusts become erratic and sloppier. The older man can feel your walls starting to flutter around him, body tensing as your orgasm approaches. He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a dark, intimate rasp.

"Will you be a good girl?"

"Yes!" you cry out, "don't stop!"

You hated this humilliation, how easy it is for him to fuck you with his big cock. You fucking hated him. But didn't he make you feel so good.

"Then come on my cock, bitch"

You didn't think it was capable, no, but you did. A first, another first when it came to Mr. Pascal.

You squirt. You fucking squirted.

Pedro lets out a feral roar of triumph when your pussy spasms around his pistoning cock, your release gushing out and soaking his dick and the desk, papers and shit beneath you (no, not the quizzes! You had printed them this morning). He savors the way you throw your head back, eyes rolling until they turn white on your fucked-out face.

"Such a sweet cunt, baby" he praises. "Milk me dry, come on"

Your slick walls milking him dry pushes him over the edge, clenching around him, and he knew it was over. He snaps, arching his back as he roughly moans. With one final, brutal thrust, he buries himself balls-deep inside you, his cock throbbing and pulsing as he starts to come. Thick, scorching ropes of cum paint your insides, flooding your womb with his potent seed, still pushing the remnants inside when he grinds against you, his pelvis pressed tight to yours as he rides out the waves of his intense orgasm. His grip on your hips tightens, fingermarks surely to be left in the soft flesh as he holds you in place, ensuring you take every last drop of his release.

"That's it, pretty baby. Can't even speak, can you?" he captures your mouth in a deep, dominating kiss. Like he owns you. "As you can see, I'm a man of my word"

He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against yours as he pants softly. His eyes, when they meet yours, are dark and intense, filled with a primal, almost feral satisfaction.

It's humilliating, really, how your lips search for more. You need him, badly, despite how shit he treats you and how wrong all of this is. Is this a win or a loose?

"Good girl" he repeats, his sweaty forehead clashing against yours. The desk creaks yet again. You love when he praises you, and you whine on instintic, making him laugh. "Learned your place just yet? Listen carefully, Ms. Y/n: no matter what you do or say, I'll always win, get it? And you'll be nothing but a needy uptight slut who begs for my attention and cock"

He pulls out of you slowly, his softening dick slipping from your well-used hole with a gush of their combined releases. He tucks himself away, doing up his pants with quick, efficient movements. His thumb brushes over your lower lip, smearing a streak of his cum across it.

"Go on. Taste it, and tell me how it feels"

Your tongue does a lazy movement, making your lips moist thanks to the saliva and his cum, like a fucking gloss. You shouldn't enjoy this, really, but your body shivers when you feel the taste of him going down your throat as you swallow.

"Good" you manage to speak, salt on the tip of your tongue.

"Good" he repeats, voice low and menacing, "because we're just getting started"

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part one)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

�� HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone.

Taglist: @marshmallowinamess

A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, I'm back after a nerve-wracking week of school. This is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. God I fucking hate school. I wrote all of this in a cold room, a heat pad on me (because period cramps) and at 3am so any mistakes will be edited out as soon as I'm aware of it.

This is divided into a multiple part thing (I think 2-3?) because God knows I can't fit them all in one post because of the limited amount of gifs and photos. I'll add more to these in the future, some are longer than others because I can't think. Also because I can't write them all at once, that's a lot to write okay 😭

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

John Price

ꕥ (OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILEEE) (He's such a quokka)

ꕥ Price who literally is such a father figure, doesn't matter whether the relationship between you two is romantic or platonic. He often takes the dominant caring role.

ꕥ Doesn't smoke around you, doesn't matter if you insist he doesn't. He still won't and definitely will criticize you if you try or do smoke because he doesn't want you do end up like him.

ꕥ If there's a bit of an age gap between you, I'd say he's hesitant. Definitely afraid of what the rest of the task force thinks (He can't help it, they're basically his boys)

ꕥ John Price who wants to settle down with you, maybe have kids if you want but just a white picket fence life with you without the chaos that is war and his job.

ꕥ He only ever let's you have his hat, only when he gives it to you though. Most of the time it would be while you're out, he'd put it on your head from his. (Cowboy hat rule? I heard that in more respectful terms rather than sexual, it respectfully means that you are theirs)

ꕥ John Price who rests his chin at the top of your head no matter how much he needs to crouch down whenever hugging you from behind. Love doing it whenever you're busy doing something too. (Props for the effort because you cannot tell me he doesn't have back, neck and knee pains)

ꕥ Is constantly worried if you share the same line of work, like at first it was nothing but a tiny crush and slowly he finds himself caring about your well-being more and more over time.

ꕥ Can't help but think he's an acts of service type of guy, reaching up for things you need or better yet lifting you up so you can reach them and loves opening things for you like bottles or anything canned. (Girlies who get their nails done or wear press ons know this struggle ( I'm a press on girly)

ꕥ The kind of man who would turn on some oldies music and slow dance with you in the living room, your footsteps and breathing being the only other sounds as you smile at each other, foreheads against the other's.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

ꕥ Ghost who is such Doberman/Black cat boyfriend. Like have you seen this man? He's so tall and intimidating, one distasteful look from him and if it was physically possible that person would drop dead.

ꕥ Ghost whose a chubby chaser through and through, he just looks for something different from what he's used to.

ꕥ Is definitely a tits kinda guy, doesn't matter how big or how small they are. He'll definitely play with them in some way during doing the you know what.

ꕥ Feels like you can take him and his size better because of your plush body. Has a size kink and likes seeing it bulge a bit when he's inside you.

ꕥ You're just so soft and warm, he wants something away from what he usually feels doing his job. Not really that touchy but he gets quite clingy within closed doors.

ꕥ Likes to squeeze your thighs, his grip on them would not falter. Doesn't matter whether it's in a sexual or domestic way.

ꕥ Thinks you deserve better than what he can offer and needs constant reassurance, never says it out loud but you pick up on what he feels. (please be patient with him)

ꕥ More often than not, he thinks you're quite fragile. Even if you can protect yourself, one of his ways of showing you he loves you is through protecting you. Hence the Doberman boyfriend scenario.

ꕥ Doesn't like PDA but knows when it's necessary, him placing his arm around your shoulder is enough to keep perverts in their places. If that rando is really that bold then they'll most likely end up with a few broken bones depending on how pissed Simon is.

ꕥ If you work alongside him, he'd constantly worry about your well-being but at the same time is conflicted because he's confident that he can protect you.

ꕥ Only you and the TF141 can call him Simon, he still feels uneasy when he gets called that but when it's you saying it, it doesn't sound as daunting to him. Still dislikes in in certain tones of voice because his name reminds him of his past.

ꕥ You've seen his face, it took a long time but after that he trusted you enough to show him. The fact that you didn't find his face revolting and even kissed his scars while cupping his face was enough for him to want to marry you.

ꕥ Isn't fully insecure about his face but has his moments. (You know like the voice line where soap asks him to take off his mask and asked him if he was ugly and Ghost said "Negative")

ꕥ Takes a little while to get him to open up and little things like letting you hold him takes him a bit of time to get used to because it makes him feel vulnerable.

ꕥ God forbid something were to happen to you and he couldn't do anything to stop it, Simon would lose his fucking mind.

John "Soap" MacTavish

ꕥ Soap is a Golden Retriever boyfriend through and through. He's energetic, loyal and really affectionate.

ꕥ He's a lighthearted flirt at first because he doesn't wanna scare you off but damn does he gradually get bolder over time.

ꕥ Very hands on, touchy, and could be clingy at times unless you don't consent him, secretly always finding new ways to touch you.

ꕥ A sucker for cheek kisses, lips are his favorite but he can't help but break out a wide grin whenever you kiss his cheek. Can't help but feel kinda manly whenever you do.

ꕥ Adores making you laugh, no matter how stupid your sense of humor is he will absolutely say that joke if it gets a laugh out of you. Would be concerned if you had a dark sense of humor but will eventually get used to it. To describe it, hearing you laugh makes his heart feel full like in a content domestic way.

ꕥ Also, see the gif? You cannot tell me that he doesn't look at you that way because he absolutely would.

ꕥ Loves your weight against his body to the pint he's begging you to lay on him. You, him in the bed while he's shirtless with grey sweatpants on and you in your night clothes sharing each other's warmth with your head on his broad chest.

ꕥ Shows you silly and cute pet videos, especially the cat ones:

"[Name], look at this one!"

"Soap, we're not adopting a pet. Not right now at least"

ꕥ He was upset and gave you puppy eyes the whole time because the only time he had pet was when he was child, it was a hamster which was killed because it got sucked into the vacuum by his older sister.

ꕥ You're the only one allowed to tough his hair, he's very proud of his mohawk and will let you style it. Won't wear it out if you did something silly to it though.

ꕥ Soap who loves showing you off to everyone, loves light PDA but doesn't wanna potential put a target on your back.

ꕥ He definitely is the guy you want to take home to your family and friends (or found family <3), he's funny and easy to get along with. Very flirty with you but he'll straighten out because he's terrified on making a bad impression.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

ꕥ (HE'S SO FREAKING UNDERRATED WITHIN THIS FANDOM)

ꕥ He gives Labrador boyfriend vibes, you can't help but want to take care of him.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to do a double take when he first saw you, he turned to Soap with that "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" look in a good way.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to ask you out multiple times before you said yes thinking he's only doing it for a bet or a cruel joke.

ꕥ Constant reassurance from him because he doesn't want you to feel insecure about your looks because to him you are literally an angel.

ꕥ Loves to chill with you, cuddling and just relaxing. Maybe scrolling on TikTok occasionally and show you the funny ones he chuckled at.

ꕥ He has a sixth sense whenever you crave something, say you want chocolate or drink of some sort then he'd definitely being home whatever it is you we're craving without having to ask you.

ꕥ Kyle who has your Starbucks order memorized because he likes being the one to order things for you. Will playfully argue with you on who'll pay this time. (Don't even try anymore, he always wins anyway)

ꕥ Puts his hat on your head mostly when you're out, has done it the first time because it was hot out and the sun was in your eyes. He's picked it up from Price and once you smiled at him through the shade of his cap, he has not stopped doing it.

ꕥ Definitely a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of guy when it comes to love languages. Sometimes whenever he'd give you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile, you can't help but laugh a little.

ꕥ He's very thoughtful, so much so that he prides himself in knowing you better than anyone. Everytime you two go out to eat, when he gets something and know that you'll want to taste it (he knows damn well whether you'll like it or not when he tastes it) he'll bring it upon himself to order you one before you even say you want some.

ꕥ Soft snores when he sleeps, it's cute but you know damn well he's tired. Also I think he's very cuddly, like he just likes reminding himself that he's not alone and that his bed is warm because you're in it. Therefore at minimum always has an arm around you in bed.

ꕥ Dances in the rain with you and loves it when you pull him gently on his arm while your hands are intertwined. Takes note of how the the raindrops sometimes fall on your lashes while you look up at him smiling.

ꕥ Kyle Garrick who wants nothing more in the world to see you happy and smiling. His "this is the woman I'm going to marry" moment was when you baked his favorite cake for his birthday despite it being so hard, you nailed it perfectly. (Whether it's out of luck or skill is up to you)

Alejandro Vargas

ꕥ (idk how to write for this angry Mexican man but I'll try my best, love him and his megamind hairline though <3)

ꕥ Alejandro is definitely a flirt, a very bold on at that. He's quite forward when it comes to liking someone so yeah.

ꕥ He lives for it when you boss him around. That being said, he isn't picky about body type or any of the sort.

ꕥ Will teach you Spanish if you don't know any, definitely prioritizes the curse words and laughs whenever you jokingly call him pendejo.

ꕥ Wouldn't mind you teaching him your own culture and mother tongue. Bonus points if it's similar to his.

ꕥ Has Spanish nicknames for you because I imagine his own culture is important to him.

ꕥ Would hate it if you had the same line of work but will never take it out on you, it's just that it's so dangerous given the people he's involved with. (It's definitely Valeria)

ꕥ Speaking of El Sinombre, I don't think they had anything romantic going on. It's mainly platonic and the "betrayal" sucked on Alejandro's side. They definitely had some rivalry and the tension was through the roof. (Mainly because I headcanon Valeria as Lesbian)

ꕥ Can be so romantic when he tries, you can't tell me this mf ain't a smooth talker because he definitely is. Can be very blunt like in a forward way with his affection too.

ꕥ Likes kissing your wrist and feeling your pulse against his lips because it reminds him you're alive. (The amount of angst this scenario carries would be something I'm up for to write)

ꕥ Is sent on a fit of rage when something happens to you, say you got kidnapped then this man would tears off the walls of every building if he had to.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

ꕥ (ANOTHER UNDERATED CHARACTER)

ꕥ Another Golden Retriever boyfriend. This man is just loving and dotting, very husband material.

ꕥ Loves chubby women, has a soft spot for them and just likes holding them.

ꕥ He's definitely used to the insecurity that comes with the body, also doesn't get why such beauty standards are even in place. Has and would fuck the insecure out of you again if he had to. (It's in a very gentle and loving manner)

ꕥ If you hold him in your arms, he'd be absolutely living for it. He already has had a long day and being honest he hasn't had many lovers that went far so having you care in this way about him would have him wrapped around your finger.

ꕥ Worships the ground you walk on. That's it.

ꕥ Would take everything to heart whenever you teach him or mention something within your culture if you aren't of Spanish origins like he is. He just loves you so much that it makes him happy knowing more about you.

ꕥ Would adore slow dancing with you, brings him back to reality where he realizes that he has you and that you're there.

ꕥ Terrified that one day you'll end up leaving him so reassurance would be much appreciated by him.

ꕥ Definitely a sucker for receiving forehead kisses, as for giving he likes to kiss the back of your hand.

ꕥ If ever danger presents itself to you too closely, he would have a heart attack like full on crying but not in public though.

[mecachrome]

Hi k! If you feel like it, do you have any favourite Oscar facial quirks?

omgggg anon this is only my favorite topic ever!!! (kidding but also not really 🧡)

i'm a lot like oscar tbh in that i have something of a deadpan stare and usually speak in a monotone but when i DO properly react to something i am veryyy uncontrollably expressive lolol, which i feel like is the same with him and the one million things constantly going on in his face!!! 😭 he definitely has a lot of little quirks / "tics" i guess for lack of better word that i adore so much...

^ first off one of the best ones is the way he always moves his mouth to the side (see also), but i'd say my favorite overall is just his full nose + face scrunch ! as shown in MMMM DEBATABLE and the blind rankings one that i drew earlier t__t and also the 1st gif of this gifset!!! i'm guilty of constantly bunnycoding ojp and that expression is trewwlyyy on top... as well as another quirk that's quite bunnycoded which is whenever he sort of awkwardly grimaces and shows off his teeth idk if you know what i'm talking about 😭

of course another fav has to be his eyebrow raising and just overall eyebrow Mobility, it's so fun because they're very straight and slope downward when his face is resting but they ARCH perfectly when he raises them and he can also do the like 🤨 seth everman look which is iconic 2 me. tbh i like how much he enjoys Squinting at things in general LOL

i've also spoken about how the buzzfeed uk video has such a wealth of oscar facial expressions and imo part of this is the informal and relaxed setting on top of the fact that he was being forced to overthink and react to an inherently silly concept so we get the ultimate combo of CASUALLY EXPRESSIVE OSCAR!!! prema challenges have a similar vibe but imo this is still different because it's fairly removed from a motorsport setting so he's kind of just vibing... another v endearing quirk from this video is his eye twitching / blinking that you can see in a LOT of oscar content, i feel like it's a once you notice you never stop noticing it thing because he does it all the time and i find it really cute because it kind of makes him squinch his cheek too... miss cutieful....... SIMILARLY but also from the buzzfeed video this is one of my favorite examples of how much he (involuntarily imo) WIDENS his eyes (2) when talking or listening to something, here's another moment of him doing it back in f4 so you can see it's a long-ingrained habit.

sorry i'm literally giving you the most random ass deep cuts alkdfshaldsfh but i also remember watching ted's race notebook from miami and noticing oscar talking to a few mclaren employees during the team photo and something i find so endearing about him is when people call his name / try to get his attention and he does the >whips head around and widens his eyes with a polite little smile< thing like AGHHH... qt TT___TT ok i'm going off-topic now but the surprised smile he gave lando during the miami post-race debrief will haunt my memories forever because it was so Open !!!

anyway re: the grimacing he also kind of has a neck tic he does where he stretches his neck out... and i've noticed that he's also just kind of sensitive/particular with his neck in general and is always adjusting his collar where it sits on his skin, which again is off-topic but i find really cute because i can relate (sensitive to textures) hsdafhk.

let me stop talking but last but not least i'm obsessedddd with the way he pouts in the post-quali vid from canada this yr <3 and also his tendency to lick/bite his lips which always does great legwork in terms of the heart eyes piastri narrative and his apparent thirst for lando HKLFDSHLH which while i endorse wholeheartedly is definitely mostly just an unconscious habit of his... but i think rpf is fun so who cares!!! LOL i hope this makes sense idk if i described anything properly 😭🧡

[freckliedan]

wait can you talk more about christmas 2018?

Anonymous asked: Just what you said in your post! "the first christmas where they publicly spent that much time together" did they usually keep quiet about where they were?

i can't speak to the 2014-16 era because i fell out of touch with the fandom at that time, but i was absolutely around during 2017 & 18. both of those years marked HUGE shifts, and both of those huge shifts came at the tail end of gamingmas/dilmas. you can check out my original frog theory post and my frog theory tag for elaboration on the function of gamingmas irt all of this. as just like. prerequisite framework reading.

ANYWAYS. the thing that was such a big deal was that dan was openly visiting the lesters with phil. yes, you can visit friends' families during the holidays. but it's much more frequently something you do with a significant other. so the ruckus was because dan and phil knew the conclusions people would jump to if we knew dan visited the lesters at christmas, and they still let us know that it happened.

(this got disgustingly long, so i'm putting the rest of this post under the cut.)

part of what made that such a big deal was having that happen after the no homo/closet era, the "we're not together we're not even that close of friends we're just roommates" era. the significance of their trust & openness was MUCH more tangibly felt. a way larger percent of the fandom at that time had been present when the vday video leaked/had joined shortly afterwards when that was one of the biggest things impacting both phandom culture and our relationship with dnp.

so in 2017 when we got a glimpse of dan up north at the lesters' in a couple of cornelia's instagram stories? we lost our fucking minds about it. it was only 2 (i think) background cameos, but it was quite literally unprecedented. it's not something that qualifies as openly spending time together at the holidays because of the method throug which we found out about it, but like. there's no way they didn't know that cornelia was posting those, and no way that they didn't know we'd know about it.

when i say we, i mean dedicated phannies. people who could possibly be reading this post, not casual subscribers to the gaming channel. because when it comes to casual viewers, or even people who aren't a part of dan and phil's usual audience at all? there's a lot of methods of communication that they just plain aren't paying attention to and won't be aware of.

the most direct, permanent methods dan and phil have for communicating are videos on either of their individual channels or on dan and phil games, and after that is instagram grid posts or tweets, as well as videos on their side channels. twitter replies, insta stories, livestreams, and their public likes on any social media platform? those are for a more private audience. their appearances in other people's posts reaches a similarly small audience.

knowing that they were starting to be more and more open through the communication channels only open between them and dedicated fans, and that it was a trend - december 2017 is also when phil, in a liveshow, read out someone's "you and dan are so married" comment and just.. laughingly said "it-it's a useful thing". (link to gifs of that). it wasn't a one-off. it was a trend.

and compared to 2018, it was dust. they spent the whole year becoming increasingly open with us, through increasingly direct methods. it was a whirlwind. even for people who've watched all the videos and liveshows, you don't have the whole picture. the onslaught was coming at us from every angle at all moments. you'd have to also explore the full archives of social media posts, insta stories, meet and greets , social media likes, and like.. the archived recordings of every interactive introverts tour date. it was batshit.

it was genuinely one of the most insane years of my life. i was having physical symptoms. we all knew what was coming, we all could tell they were working up towards coming out, but nobody wanted to trust that we were right about that. my dashboard was regularly at a fever pitch.

and december 2018 was the culmination of everything. and then they were talking directly to us in a liveshow and being. insanely open. they told us that dan was going with phil to visit the lesters. and they told us that pinof was ending. and then dilmas started dropping, aggressively cementing the fact that dab and evan were sim-universe proxies for dnp, while dan and phil posted instagram grid and story updates about visiting the lesters. and then dab and evan came home to the howlter house for the holidays. and got engaged.

and then they went on hiatus, and we pretty much did not hear from dan until he came out.

the point is. we knew there was a fucking insane energy. we KNEW something big was coming. we fucking knew. it was a two year build up to dan and phil being the most publicly gay they'd ever been on the gaming channel and every single other platform - and part of that insanity was them being open about dan visiting the lesters, which coincided with them having their proxy sims get gay engaged while visiting family.

"did they usually keep quiet about where they were?" anon, the last time before all this that they had openly acknowledged dan visiting the lesters during the holidays was 2009.

the way they were acting over christmas of 2018 had me experiencing shrimp emotions to such an intense degree i was having verifiable psychic visions.

[polyamorousmood]

It's not exactly poly-related, but I don't know other blog with life advices, so. Maybe you have an idea what to do with frustration from being the one "normal" between your friends and partners? I'm only one without any confirmed diagnosis (we have consensus that something definitely not right there, but no one can be sure if this an adhd or chronic tiredness or I'm just born this way etc). And in practice it means that I'm the one that should adapt to everyone's quirks. I'm the one that will make decisions when no one else can. I'll be cleaning because everyone's too depressed, I'll offer comfort when someone's triggered, I can't drop my work no matter what because everyone else disabled and can be unemployed for years, etc. Don't get me wrong, I like be the one that's stable and can help, I thrive on being useful. But also sometimes it's horrifies me that I don't have any room for error, not in small things (because what can be a small thing for me can badly trigger other person) and definitely not in big (because no one would be there to pick things up). I'm working two jobs now and still mostly the one that usually cleans and cooks and thinks about things like what we will gift to that or this friend and how to pay our credit card etc. And I understand that I'm in this position because others literally have it worse! But I'm at the point where small adjustments in plans makes me see red and it's not great for everyone. No I'm not utterly underappreciated and sometimes people drops "it must be hard for you" or "you probably disabled too I don't know how you handle it so well" into conversation, but it's not like words help when I literally need for people to just deal with at least some shit. Also yes I have some control freak tendencies but they are built on the experience thst people *won't* do shit or will do it incorrectly and I'll need to redo it anyway, so I can't just "let it go". No one there malicious and I *want* to be good and accepting friend and partner. I just really tired and don't know what to do.

yeahhhh you don't really go here [insert Mean Girls gif] I mean maybe you do but this isn't the thing I'm here for blah blah so no offense, but you're not getting my best, here

See a therapist, work on ✨️boundaries✨️

No one is going to die if the dishes go unwashed a couple days longer than they should. Having someone to lean on when triggered is really nice! But panic attacks do pass on their own sooner or later. They'll be okay if you don't intervene on half of them. It feels bad and shit - I PROMISE, I get it - but I spent 6 months being 24/7 support for a suicidal person, and (aside from ensuring physical safety) me being their didn't usually help them out of the really bad moods any faster! And sure, maybe it spirals a bit with other people in the mix. That shit happens. It's okay.

Secodarily. Look at life structures and CHANGE THEM.

They can't do the dishes? Not even with a stool to sit on and video playing on their phone? Nobody can? Well then FUCK dishes, this is a paper plate household now!!

Youre the only one who can cook? Maybe like, full meals. But someone there other than you can handle fucking frozen pizzas and a kitchen timer, or microwave meals. Stock up. Stock up on snacks that require no cooking - eating those as a meal a couple times a week won't kill anyone.

80% of household shit can be made much easier in this way if you just adjust your standards a bit

I mean no disrespect at all for anyone disabled. But the vast majority of disabilities still allow you to contribute something at least sometimes.

Quite frankly, if i were in your shoes, I'd pick a couple chores I know a couple others can help with and make a group announcement I won't be doing those anymore -- ever. If they don't get done, it's their problem now, you're sorry, but you're burnt out, and you can't help them if you have a mental break.

And that last part is true, so I'd do this sooner rather than later.

Either way, I feel for you and your whole group. It sounds less than ideal for everyone, and I hope you can find something more easily sustainable soon

[nalyra-dreaming]

Pre season 2 rant - heavy on sarcasm!

This is the... well by now somewhat meditated on rant I promised a while ago. It has a lot of cussing, so be warned.

It is a… summary comment about some views I‘ve seen around, from “bad writing“ to the “abuse“ and other things. Oh, and it's about the "lying" subject. With receipts!

I‘m getting this out of my system before season 2 hits, and before more of the press leading up to it is released, because cast, crew and writers as well as the show have given us all of it already and, tbh, if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.

Fair warning.

This is long… so under the cut.

This show has made color-conscious choices. Brilliantly so. They also have an astonishing meta level.

And what we saw was not the truth.

That much is clear now. HAS ACTUALLY BEEN CLEAR FROM THE END OF SEASON 1 ON.

Jacob has said at the TCA panel that Louis is trying to regain his true memories.

Here is a reminder of some key statements by cast and crew:

Here are interviews and statements by Assad and Jacob and Sam and Rolin and the writers & producers that what we have seen was not the (whole) truth, that Louis’ tale has been “tinkered” with, influenced.

I'm heroically refraining from adding the gifs of Rolin and his statement again. Which are from the episode insider… and remember when that aired?! Yeah… 😒

But I've seen things recently that make me want to pull my hair out, to be frank. For example this, behind the link:

...Like, not making him a whole flat ass liar is actually the point, guys. And no it does not undermine the story....

As the writers said:

I mean, I get it to an extent. It's becoming clearer and clearer that the show some people made up in their heads is not the one they'll be getting. (We've been trying to tell them, but hey.)

Yeah.... That.

Unfortunately @blackgirlasis has blocked me, (and I have returned the favor now that I noticed), we only discussed something recently, but I think the reason might have been after I posted that video, in which it is literally said that "not everything Louis says is a lie", which, given her statements here might speak for itself, especially this part of that statement:

"It is actually ACTIVELY harmful to perpetuate the idea that the Black characters aren't to be trusted with the narrative and that we need Lestat to come through with the honest accounting."

You know, I would actually agree! Which is also why I always emphasized that we did not get the WHOLE truth. I also kept more than hinting at the fact that Armand is, well Armand.

BUT - and here it gets interesting - why is JACOB's - a BLACK man's - statement discarded? Why do they do not want to hear it that Louis does, in fact, lie? And, just to be clear - I do not NEED Louis to lie, nor be proven a liar, and I think the show will do its damndest to explain via the "tinkering" that Armand did. They will give some of the blame to Armand.

But to flip one's shit over argumentation that the MAIN CHARACTER, a BLACK MAN has already stated... that is what I find interesting.

Like, why do you* (*generally spoken, not her especially) accuse people of racism over this, when HE has already said that Louis does, indeed, lie. Why is he not actually listened to? I don't get that. Why is agency taken away from a living, breathing person to give it to a fictional character? Why is his statement that "not all representation needs to be healthy representation" not kept in mind?

Louis is Louis. Louis being color-consciously handled didn't "change the character an awful lot".

JACOB said that. Here. Interestingly enough in a comment about the racial consideration the show does(!).

Louis is NOT a whole other character despite the changes, and the twists that will happen in season 2 were always set to come, as the friggin' video of BEFORE the show aired is proof of. They talked about all that. They know it didn't all happen as shown. They knew Louis did lie. But NOT about everything.

They also knew that some of the scenes did not happen (at least as shown). And now... "it’s clear that Louis is somebody hugely angry with a man he loved deeply and now presents them as a monster…" Also Jacob Anderson.

Presents. Them. As. A. Monster.

Bailey Bass said in the SDCC interview, that it is not clear who is the "villain here" in various scenes, interestingly enough, because the dynamic keeps changing. Which of course was after they shot a myriad of scenes that would not make it into the final s1 cut. Again: why is she not listened to? Why do you take her agency away to give it to a fictional character?

And I'm not even starting on the others. Sam. Rolin. The writers.

Also, re the abuse and scenes being revisited. Again, screenshot as example:

There is nothing simple about this show. Especially that scene.

BUT the show knows what it‘s doing! I'm not going to rehash all that here now, here are links on that.

AND THE WRITERS SAYING IT WILL BE REVISITED... is from December 21, 2022.

DECEMBER 22.

A revisit and a change of that scene will not be bad writing. (Or tasteless.) They already DID so in the last episode of season 1, continuing that will simply fall into line with what we have already been given. That's not bad writing. That's just the show, and there's people who just did not want to examine that.

Because it will be echoed, and it will serve a purpose.

I know the show did the meta level of patriarchal domestic abuse, but for fuck‘s sake, the story itself is about vampires struggling, and Louis is struggling.

The show has a meta level of abuse, and patriarchy, and recognizing is valid and the meta discussions are too.

But Louis is not chained to his coffin guys, he could have left, and a fight which shows off power discrepancies within the show story line is not automatically domestic abuse.

*slow clap*

No-one wants this to happen for the sake of "redeeming" Lestat. Because he does not need that redemption. They're all murderers and monsters.

They kill. For a living. LITERALLY.

THEY ARE VAMPIRES It's not about vampires trying to find their humanity.

It's about vampires trying to find a way to live with themselves, because they are, indeed, monsters.

Doubting the narrative which was TORN APART WITHIN THE SHOW is not the same as bad writing or racism FFS, nor is actually looking at what we're given - and knowing the fucking, 50 year old books. And recognizing the hints and parallels.

I have also seen the take that Lestat isolated Louis... and like, did we watch the same show? You know, even with the vampirism (which, of course™, could not free Louis as promised)...

Months of flirting openly in NOLA, public wooing. DECADES LIVING IN NOLA. Operas. Restaurants. Family dinners. (And Louis stopping Lestat there, AS a mortal...) Cleaning the cribs, years of "human entanglement" because Louis wanted it.... Banjo barbecues, political influence, wakes... Everybody knew.

(Like, I could pull up gifs here.)

"Isolation". Right. It has nothing, at all, to do with the Rite of Passage, or Louis' depression.

Of course not.

I mean, Jacob says that Louis is very depressed during the time leading up to the fight, and his and Sam's discussion here is interesting as well, but hey, I mean, why listen to the actual black actor, right.

As a last thing.

Yeah. Tell me you know nothing about the books without telling me you know nothing about the books.

And, as a note, context is important if you pull up other scenes from the VC.

Welcome to the fucking Vampire Chronicles.

Anyone expecting big bad patriarchal abuser Lestat is not going to have a good time.

And honestly, to those: don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Good riddance - and BON VOYAGE

[lover-of-mine]

Me? Wanting to talk about the locker room scene in comparison to the cemetery scene to make a point no one asked about? Raise your hand if you saw this is coming 🙋‍♀️

Anyway, this is madness written by a gifmaker/video editor who hates coloring the cemetery scene with a burning passion and who spent the better part of the past 2 days trying to make a coloring work for the locker room scene, who also did some asking around with other editors who also seem to be having issues with the scene, and who spends way too much time thinking about Buck and death (someone drown that man, please).

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I don't really believe the cemetery scene will be directly addressed on the show no matter how much I wish it would. But something about the cemetery scene besides the actual content of the scene that keeps me up at night and had me writing multiple fics dealing with it, is the fact that the sky is only blue behind Eddie.

Why is that relevant in any way, shape, or form? The colors when the focus is on Buck or both of them have this almost yellowish tone that the focus on Eddie doesn't have. The sky and colors strongly imply that they added a filter to it in post-production to ensure the colors looked like that, along with the fact that it is a scene that's really weird to color something that happens when they go too hard on the filters *cough* crossover *cough* pilot *cough*. What does that have to do with the locker room? The locker room also has this almost yellowish tone that makes it hell to color. But based on my 2 days of testing different colorings and techniques, it seems to be a hell of a lot worse when the shot has that wall over there where the sun is hitting as a background.

That suggests that they wanted the scenes to have a specific lighting that they achieved later. Considering the way that the tendency of the cemetery is that the colors get muted or weirdly blended together and that the locker room goes YELLOW, I am assuming that they messed with the colors on the cemetery to make the colors look faded, giving it that gloomy feeling, which in turn made the sky almost white, and that they needed that sunlight reflecting on the wall to look that bright, which made the scene look a lot more yellow than it should. Seriously, trying to work this out I legit make it look like Buck is a Simpsons character.

Okay, but Anna, why did you make this particular connection? Well, the word is muted when Buck is talking about starting to date Natalia and then the sun gets brighter when he talks about them breaking up? COME ON. He's calling the relationship boring and the word literally gets brighter as he says it, madness.

Buck talking about dating Natalia -> Buck talking about breaking up with Natalia (please don't judge the gifs I don't want the stress of coloring them combined right now lol)

But that's the same reaction. Dude is smiling going in, he's smiling going out.

And considering Buck's relationship with his own death and the way I strongly believe that what drew him to Natalia was the fact that she didn't think his death was a tragedy and he wasn't ready to deal with the reality of had happened to him yet, to get him to the point where death is boring is progress. Makes me fear for my Buck breakdown wishes, but it is progress for that particular aspect of Buck, considering he has a very intricate relationship with death down to the fact he was born as a hail mary to prevent it. We have multiple near-death experiences, we have him saving the lives of people loves multiple times, the first time we see him he's saving a kid who drowned, his first big conflict is the fact that he's not handling not being able to save someone's life all that well, I can keep going, but you see my point, right?

The arc with Natalia, even though we didn't see the originally planned conclusion since the actress couldn't come back, had this point of Buck looking at what happened to him through the eyes of someone who didn't know him before and was actually excited about that happening, so he could distance himself from what happened and look at it from a "safe" distance. That distance also allowed him to ignore the very important "I need to do this for myself" thing from the coma dream because Buck is terrified of being alone, and that definitely includes the fear of finding out who he is by himself. Buck is bad at being alone, from meaningless sex, to hanging on to Abby too long, to hanging on to Taylor too long, to jumping in with Natalia, the first pretty girl who looked his way, it all makes this part of him very clear (parenthesis because I just had a thought, yes, Buck latches on to Taylor out of fear of being alone triggered by Eddie almost dying, but he thought he could have died himself considering the crane and everything about it and also the way he could very much have been shot at the same time as Eddie, he latched on to Natalia because he did die, he also almost died on his first date with Abby and Abby actually reached out to him when he was feeling all sorts of bad over someone dying, and he is held at gunpoint and watched a death that deeply affected him before he started dating Ali, so we have death as a connection here too, if that makes sense, I might have to come back to this thought later).

But the thing is, when you look at 6a for Buck considering the fact that Buck is passively suicidal, in a very I'm not trying to get killed but I don't think I don't care if I do die way, and how he probably thought he was going to die in a blaze of glory saving someone, and how he actually died in a pretty run-of-the-mill call, by something no one has any control over it, Buck's relationship with what he thought death was and would be for him changed. For one, Buck was not ready for how much it affected everyone around him, he never considered what the grief of losing him would do to the people he loves, but also, Buck's main excuse for his near-death experiences/impulsive behavior that puts him in mortal danger was "but I didn't actually die" like with the blood clots or "I didn't get the worst of it" like with the shooting, I think even the tsunami a little bit with how he felt about losing Chris. But he did actually die, and considering the fact that he went up that ladder when Chimney was ready to go up and Eddie also got hit by the lightning, he also got the worst of it. So he lost his own coping mechanism.

So he arrived at a point where death is boring and he is smiling like an idiot at Eddie welcoming him "back to the world of the living" and that could have fun implications going forward. Because, one, he still hasn't dealt with a big emotion in a healthy way, and two, Bobby is in mortal danger. Considering his reaction to Bobby being dead in his coma world and the fact that he has no coping mechanism left when it comes to death anymore along with his own relationship with water and danger we could have some fun reactions to these types of triggers for him there.

And thinking about the way Oliver keeps talking about Buck learning more about himself and also about Buck leaning on Eddie, someone who had his own journey dealing with multiple layers of his relationship with death, they have a fun space to play with there, with Buck's relationship with death, Eddie's relationship with Buck's death, and everything else that could happen with Eddie fully dealing with Shannon's death, and Buck dealing with anything really, Daniel, his own death, his fear of being alone, all as someone who actually wants to live, who's not just moving because he's alive and has no other alternative.

That's it for today, as always, if you reached this I love you 💜

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Semifinal 1: Fei Du vs Jiang Cheng

Semifinal 1 is between Fei Du (shixiong: Luo Wenzhou) from Mo Du vs Jiang Cheng (shixiong: Wei Wuxian) from Mo Dao Zu Shi

Propaganda under the cut

Fei Du:

Fei Du: evidence? The entirety of Mo Du. His shixiong is is Luo Wenzhou, a dude with an eight-pack and parents who love him and love fei du as well, and a dude whom fei du is willing to not die/consider the future with, and consider himself not a monster to be with. Fei Du says shixiong to Luo Wenzhou so flirtatiously that they both stop and stare. Luo Wenzhou gets him birthday cake, a video game when he was small and a promise. (Also, they are cat parents)

Jiang Cheng:

Clinged to WWX constantly for 7+ years, wanted to have WWX as his right hand man forever after becoming sect leader, cried after WWX left, cried when he discovered what WWX sacrificed for him, was TORN APART when it got explained to him that if they were more outwardly close knit, WWX might not have died

PROPAGANDA!! to start, i'm still very bitter about how fairy lost the sentient animal poll and i want to win this badly. very very badly. current stats are 50.6 in favour of jc but that's too less of a gap for me. jc should be winning this by a landslide, y'all hear me? anyways. starting with a class act, like the clown i am->

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a few links ( because i'm chengxian trash, as always and i'd love if poll-guy could copy paste them on the og post): one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

to start with. jiang cheng is literally the picture of "i knew from the moment i met you that i'd spend a lifetime forgiving you".

the earliest dynamic of jiang cheng and wei wuxian is jiang cheng giving away his dogs (the only gift his father has ever given him, btw) because wei wuxian is scared of the dogs. tis only the start of it.

his father very obviously prefers his shixiong over him, his mother berates him for not being as good as wei wuxian and tells him his inheritance is in danger, and his sister (in my opinion) has more care for him (visibly. maybe jiang yanli doesn't show it because jc is an emotionally complicated purple grape, maybe because jc doesn't need it, or wei wuxian is traumatised but that's my opinion). but still. still. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian. so much. jealousy is like. the most tame response i can think of. and jiang cheng is proud of wei wuxian, okay? he'd believe his big brother if he'd said anything. want proof? well, here you go-> link

to paraphrase the link:

Jiang Cheng had just lost his family, his home, and his very golden core, and his older brother - his brilliant older brother who could fix anything, who could sneak wine into Cloud Recesses and defeat an ancient turtle nearly-god and make Jiang Cheng share a smile when Jiang Cheng’s mother was disappointed and furious at both of them - His big brother smiled and said, “I can fix this.”And Jiang Cheng believed him then, and believed him three months later when Wei Wuxian crawled out of the Burial Mounds (just the second miracle in three months), and believed him every day of the next seventeen(?) years until the pieces were shoved into place for him to see.

also. the circle these two go in protecting each other. (gif set by @sandushengshou), the 'if one of us is to die, then, i beg, let it be me' that they both do for one another in a seemingly neverending loop of sacrifice. via this post a la my lovely @backtoyunmeng

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jiang cheng is a cannonically ruined woman archetype, justified via the countless posts you'll get in the top posts of jiang cheng tag. he keeps chenqing, wwx's flute in perfect condition even when he hates wei wuxian, even when wwx, if only indirectly, has a part in jiang yanli's murder and oof okay someone pointed out to him that he's known to have killed wei wuxian and he almost cries. he absolutely believes, with his whole heart, that wei wuxian lives even when the world is sure he doesnt. and it always read to me like, i'd know if he was dead. he's a part of my soul, so i'd know if he was dead. he can't be dead.

this is getting too long, so, to sum up, some absolute poetry by @jiangchengsjawline

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#JC On The Other Hand Has His Entire Life Shaped By His Shixiong And Ended Up Cast As The Ruined Woman By The End

#jiang cheng though. wasn't able to fuck his shixiong but his shixiong definitely fucked with him

#hello?? the answer is Jiang cheng pls#he's the shixiongfucker or all shixiong fucker you wish you could be as pathetically in love with your shixiong as he is#chengxian

#i do not go here (chengxian) but the propaganda is incredibly correct they are insane abt each other#also sorry jiang cheng ik you're suffering but they are so funny to me#neway VOTE JIANG CHENG FOR CLEAR SKIN

#look I rarely go here#(here being chengxian)#but by GOD their lvoe compels me#they’re tragic and doomed and they love each other without knowing how to say it in words the other would understand#or in words at all because communication??? we don’t know her???

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he didn't even think about sacrificing himself, and consequently his entire bloodline, his sect, pretty much everything that depends on him for his shixiong??????????

is this not convincing->

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#had to vote jc though i have more feelings about chengxian#i think jc should have a huge gege kink

#like. jiang cheng should win the entire tournament hands down period

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

WKA's 2024 Tumblr Top 10

I was tagged in this game by @lurkingshan did it on my phone and therefore did not spend a lot of time making it look nice. But since I was just tagged in this again by @telomeke I figured I'd take advantage of the edit feature to zhuzh it up a little bit. So!

1. PhayaTharn's Informative Morning- 441 notes - Jan 3 2024

gif by @firstmix

I am so lucky that I love writing essays and that I do not do it for the notes or the clout, because this post took me like two seconds to create and was my most popular of the year.

2. Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign essay- 409 notes - Jan 5 2024

gif by @thisautistic

I am so sad about the trajectory of my enjoyment of The Sign because I was having fun writing essays about it at the beginning. But by the end I was strongly contemplating writing a fix-it fic, though I quickly decided I did not have the brain space to write that whole thing out. ANYWAY...I really enjoyed writing this essay because lighting is my favorite part of theater performances and something I really love seeing and talking about in all visual mediums, but I have far fewer opportunities to do so in television because a lot of the time the lighting is more dedicated to looking realistic. The Sign gave me the opportunity to talk about lighting choices for the first time in forever.

3. Symptoms of a Systems Error essay- 399 notes - Feb 2 2024

gif by @dramascene

ALL THESE END OF YEAR POSTS ARE REMINDING ME THAT @lurkingshan AND I OWE THIS SHOW THE RE-WATCH WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO DO. I was definitely a little skeptical going in to this show about the premise of this man being in a video game, but it had one of the smartest uses of that setting I've seen and I really enjoyed all the subtle ways that they used the world around them to deepen the story at hand and I'm really glad so many people seemed to enjoy this essay as well!

4. Episode 10: The Couch essay- 353 notes - Apr 21 2024

Here is a great example of @lurkingshan demonstrating that I can and will take essay requests for shows I am watching. I cannot begin to explain in words the chokehold this show had on me, so hopefully ya'll will just see the fact that I wrote ten essays about only six episodes of this show as evidence of how much back rent this show owes me for living in my head. I LOVE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND CHRIS CHU DID SUCH A PHENOMENAL GODDAMN JOB WITH HIS PORTRAYAL OF WEI QIAN AND I NEED TO SCREAM THAT FROM THE HEAVENS AT EVERY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY~

5. Parallels in Unknown Episode 9 essay- 329 notes - Apr 14 2024

gif by @ueasking

It appears like Unknown fever was taking hold of a hell of a lot of us on this website considering that literally half of my most popular posts of 2024 were from this show. I think a really important aspect of this show and why I enjoyed it so much was that it was really taking its time demonstrating how much history Wei Qian has to overcome in order to take on that mental shift of viewing Wei Zi Yuan as a romantic partner instead of as his brother. Which is why I was so sad that they fucked up the sex scene in Ep 11 and did not spend as much time as they really should have cementing Qian's shifted feelings after the confrontation at the stairs at the end of Episode 10. EITHER WAY I do think the use of parallels was a really smart way of showing that recontextualization.

6. Fantasy v. Reality: The Sign Episode 7 essay- 328 notes - Jan 8 2024

I am such a huge proponent of talking about sex scenes in television not only because they are enjoyable to watch but because they are choreographed scenes that take a lot of planning and a lot of work and I think it is important to be able to see and approach conversations around intimacy on screen in such a way. Getting a chance to write about how the sex scene in episode 7 merged Phaya and Tharn's fantasies and also their lighting cues was really fun! I hope that 2025 grants me enough energy to get back on the essay writing wagon in full force because I miss doing it but also have felt incredibly uninspired by a lot of what I've seen in the BL sector the last couple months.

7. LOSING MY MIND OVER UNKNOWN EPISODE 8 essay- 284 notes - Apr 10 2024

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

So sorry to you, Wei Qian, but unfortunately you sent your brother to America in hopes he would lose interest in you and instead he came back a menace!

8. Top Five "Oh" Moments ask- 282 notes - Jan 15 2024

let this be a lesson folks that it is a-okay to ask questions if you have them. I love getting asks and I know a lot of my mutuals do as well! I really loved getting this question and being allowed to talk about my top five!

9. Unknown Episode 7 Brain Rot Moments essay- 281 notes - Apr 1 2024

Going back through these posts is fun for me because I really like seeing the different ways I have engaged in media analysis and commentary. This time it was literally just a bullet-pointed list of things that I knew were making me chew glass about this show and I still loved writing it!

10. Unknown, Ep 10: Qian and Yuan- 166 notes - Apr 26 2024

Yippe! A good old fashioned Captain Hands Scene Breakdown what a time I had!

Created by TumblrTop10

I will tag @aeternallis and @kangarew-tail-7 in this, obviously you are under no obligation to participate if you do not wish to!

[yolatirra]

Some Thoughts about Arcane Season 2, Especially Relating to Potential Time Travel

Pt 1: Isha

I think Isha has something to do with Ekko and time travel.

Something that keeps nagging at me about Isha is that we don't actually know anything about her. She showed up in S2E2 running from some guys and then literally dropped into Jinx's lap. We still don't know why she was running from them. We don't know where she came from. We have no idea who she is.

One analysis videos I watched, which I've now sadly lost track of, pointed out that there are a TON of Firelights symbols in that scene.

With this in mind, I combed through the entire six episodes of Acts 1 & 2, looking for any other green hourglasses. I didn't find them anywhere else. To be fair, I combed through the season pretty quickly, so I may have missed them. If I did, please point them out to me! But if I'm right that this is the only place we see them, that's VERY WEIRD and VERY INTENTIONAL.

Someone in a different analysis video also pointed out that Isha has some oddly fancy aspects to her outfit.

This could definitely be nothing, but something about that pattern on her vest seems out of place. Almost more like something you'd seen in Piltover than in Zaun.

My theory is that Isha was sent to this point in time by Ekko and we're going to see what led up to this moment in Act 3. Isha might be dead (I'm still sobbing about it), but we're going to learn more about her.

Will she stay dead? Honestly yeah, I think so.

I think that the version of events we're seeing is the version where time has already been changed, and I'm going to get into that more later.

Pt 2: The Letter

Actually I lied above about not finding any other green hourglasses in season 2. I found one more, in the scene where Jinx is reading Vander's letter to Silco in S2E5.

Note that this ISN'T the Firelights symbol. But it is definitely a green hourglass. Also note the gear in the center, which has been a recurring symbol this season that seems to have something to do with time.

This has to mean something, right? But I don't know what.

Pt 3: Gears-As-Clocks

There is one really notable instance of this. I really wish I had a GIF of this scene, but I don't know how to make GIFs and I don't feel like learning just for this, but here's a sequence of screenshots that hopefully show you what I mean.

Jinx turns clockwise, which transitions into the gear on Jayce's hammer also turning clockwise. Like a clock. The gear is a clock. Going forward in time.

And what shot do we get immediately after this?

Jayce is going forward in time.

I suspect there might be other instances of gears turning clockwise to symbolize a clock, but I've already spent too long on this post so if anyone finds another example, please share. Still, even if this is the only instance, it recontextualizes all gears in this season to be time-related.

Pt 4: Fortune Cookie

I kept wondering why Jinx calls Viktor a fortune cookie. I do think there are multiple parts to this and I'm missing some of it. Something about a cookie being sweet and Viktor being sweet? I dunno, I'm missing part of what this comparison means.

HOWEVER. Why a FORTUNE cookie, and not just any cookie?

Fortune cookies predict the future, but in silly, little ways that don't really mean anything. Maybe Viktor can see the future, but only glimpses. Tiny things that don't actually allow him to do anything about it.

Fortune cookies also hide their fortune inside a bland, mildly sweet cookie, and you have to break the cookie to get the fortune out...

OKAY WAIT I was gonna say I don't know what that means, but uh... you have to break the cookie to get the fortune.

You have to break Viktor to find the future.

Pt 5: Fate

I've rewatched Viktor's scenes several times, and I kept wondering why Viktor asks Singed whether he believes in fate. It seems to come out of nowhere.

My theory at this point in that Viktor knows something is manipulating events, but he can't see specifics. He just knows there is some invisible force guiding events, and maybe, he's wondering if Singed knows about it.

Pt 6: Singed's Plan

What is Singed's plan in Act 2?

He goes to the undercity rally and clearly wants to be arrested. He comes prepared with a knife and slits his hand, so he will leave a blood trail. He wants to be taken to prison, and he wants Warwick to follow him there.

When we see Singed in the prison, in the scene where Jinx finds Isha, he has the door to his cell partially open.

He could have left before that, but he wants to be there. Then the lights start flickering and he closes the door again, to protect him from Warwick.

When Caitlyn walks through the prison in S2E5, he's STILL THERE. The door is unlocked. He could have left after Warwick did. But he stayed.

He stays so he can talk to Ambessa. When Ambessa comes to see him alone in prison, the first thing he says is "I've been expecting you."

He wanted to show Ambessa what he was capable of (Warwick) so that Ambessa would hire him. And that's exactly what she does.

And what does he do? He convinces Ambessa they can use Warwick, and then tracks Warwick to Viktor's commune.

Now, there are some things worth mentioning. First, Singed likely didn't expect Jinx to be at the prison, and didn't expect Jinx to awaken Vander within Warwick. However, Jinx's presence didn't disrupt his plan to get Ambessa's attention. His plan remained intact.

Second, he wouldn't have had any way of predicting that Warwick would up in Victor's commune, but I suspect this is a happy coincidence for him. I'm guessing he wanted to use Ambessa to recapture Warwick, and then was planning to convince her that Viktor would also be useful.

We know from the scene early on in S2E4 where Ambessa is conducting hextec experiements that she wished she had captured the "scientists" aka Jayce and Viktor. Singed likely knew about Viktor's commune, just because word about it had been spreading around Zaun, and even to Piltover (Lest mentions Viktor to Salo), and we know Singed suspected that the Herald was Viktor.

Ambessa would have wanted to invade the commune to capture Viktor, even if Warwick hadn't been there.

But, it turns out, he is, so that allows Singed and Ambessa to capture two experimental subjects with one invasion. Singed wants to get in there, capture both Warwick and Viktor, and combine them into a perfect being. This is his ultimate goal on the path to "curing death".

Which leads us to my final topic.

Pt 7: Jayce

What is the thing no one expects in Act 2?

Jayce killing Viktor. This was not a part of Singed's plan. Jayce kills Viktor before Singed can get to him, and THAT is why killing Viktor was necessary.

So, I have a couple of theories of where things go from here regarding Viktor.

Option 1: While this didn't prevent Singed from getting ahold of Viktor, it did damage Viktor in some way that prevents him from being used the way Singed intended. Whatever Singed would have done with Viktor is now impossible, and the future isn't as bad as the one Jayce saw.

Option 2: Viktor is actually, fully dead, and the hints of him we see in the Act 3 preview are actually scenes from the future that Jayce saw and has now prevented. Viktor could still come back in some way in the main timeline, but... I honestly do think there's a chance that he's actually just dead, and we'll only see alternate timeline versions of him in Act 3.

Okay, I think that's everything. Sorry to end on a depressing note but uh... Arcane, right? It's good. It's really good.

I do hope Viktor isn't dead though, even if he comes back even more wrong than before.

[theshy1sout]

I just finished season 5 of lmk (and rewatched Claim to Flame with my bf, skipping freenoodle parts for pure dragonfruit content bc we could so we did) and I have a lot to say. Embrace yourself, this post is very chaotic.

I need subtitles only bc of Mei

Help me, why they yelled WHITE HORSE DRAGON GIRL FLAME PRINCE TEAM ATTACK in synch?? I mean, I'm not complaining, it's just such a short and catchy name I'm so shocked (I couldn't stop laughing)

"Everyone gets mech except for me" ~ Poor little mew mew, I mean Red Son

Love that the moment Red Son realized the puppy videos were from Mei he immediately started to catch up on them XD

Red Son willingly called Mei "Mad Dawg" (I'm crying)

I had to pause the episode when Mei said "My guy" it was too much it was too much I almost died from laughing xddd

They ate dragonfruit (AGAIN)

She left him her phone (AGAIN)

I need a collection of Mei :3 faces RIGHT NOW

WHY SHE CALLED HIM SON

"thats why we don't hang out!" "ah yes that's the reason why" XDDDDDD

I CANT BELIEVE THEY MADE ONE FILLER EPISODE AND IT WAS ALL ABOUT FREENOODLE AND DRAGONFRUIT

The season 3 red son entrance killed me (And then she hugged him what killed me more I can't, guys, I just can't, I watched this episode twice and I'm still crying with laugher why this is so HILARIOUS they literally just gave us dragonfruit episode, how we even deserve that???)

The rest of season was also good, I'm just i jus can't stop thinking about the Claim to Flame and the sexy Mei's mech why was it sexy and why red son was inside

I gotta make some dragonfruit gifs, I'll be right back

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

St:SNW rant

I just saw the most amazing gifset of that moment in momento mori where chapel tells una "it's like giving birth through your mouth" (edit : it was @startrekuniverse who made the dope gif set, I love you btw)

Una and Christine are the MOST UNDERRATED dynamic. Genuinely I need to see them interact more. I've said before I don't think that T'pring is Christine's character mirror foil or whatever bc she isn't really. Una is the opposite of Christine.

Una is so put together. She is the literal poster person of first officers. She is always put together and just radiates dignity. (Somehow she gives like. Teacher vibes but I can't see her teaching a specific subject?? Maybe she just authority-s so hard I'm getting confused idk) She has been trying to be the picture perfect officer for years. She said it her self, she worries how people would see her (as an illiyern(fuck spelling I'm tired)) if she wasn't Ms. "She's beauty she's grace she's gonna punch you in the face" Because she hasn't ever had the chance to exist in starfleet without that threat of being discovered, she holds her self to this impossible standard that she some how achieves. Outside of that, she is a silly little workaholic who loves her job a little too much at times. (I mean. Tbf it's STARFLEET I'd also love it)

Compare that polished, put together-Ness of a first officer to someone who didn't even technically join starfleet, Chrsitine is part of an exchange program. (I'm only considering snw, sorry) Christine is bouncy and open as soon as we meet her, she sasses back at La'an and jokingly flirts with spock. She has the worst bedside manner and loves to chase people down hallways. Her reaction to Una bring Illiriyan was basically "I'm not a cop, I'm cool with it" She radiates weird girl in the best way possible. We see her be messy in relationships and goof off here and there. (Can you tell I hyperfixate on her all the time?) Uhura is "unburdened by conversational boundaries" and will say things on accident, Christine will say the weird thing and she will say it with her chest.

Christine is so unabashedly herself while Una is always on duty as the first officer, so professional. Una ties a lot of herself to her job and Christine loves science to the point she will chase it to other planets, she isn't tied to the ship.

There is so much space for tension and conflict between them. I can see Christine making a joke during a hard time and Una snaps. Maybe Una makes a tough call command wise that Christine disagrees with because they could've done something, the head vs the heart. They would also make an excellent team, Una with her tactical experience while Christine has science and leaps of faith.

You know those videos where the magnets are on a track and they collide really hard and the thing in the middle gets fucked up? That's what I want with them. I know im seeing the shrimp dynamics but I swear something there is worth exploring I SWEAR

[jnnul]

helloooo!! ❤️ can i request some headcanons for jisungs (nct) first relationship? like how would he act, how would he show affection etc etc :))) i really loved your “things he reminds me of’” post, it was so cute and the jisung hickey part made me wonder what his first relationship would be like ☺️☺️ thank you!!

a/n: hihi! thank u so much for requesting (and for the love, mwah) <3 i hope you like this little word vomit lol :) [ps. i hope ur ok w me putting nsfw content at the end - lmk if u want me to publish a version w/o the nsfw at all]

tags: fluff, headcanons of jisung being a frat boi pledge oops, i'm realizing how unfortunately realistic i feel like i portray these boys, tw: nsfw content (mentions of handjobs, giving head)

word count: 1k

gif credits: @chenleemark

jisung's first relationship would be...

surprisingly normal

i feel like a lot of people headcanon jisung as a shy, flustered almost mousey person

and i can see why (jwisung)

but i think that that image is something that was carefully and deliberately crafted (and perhaps something that he eventually grow into a little more)

SO, i feel like this is rlly controversial, i feel like in jisung's first relationship, he would be kinda just frat boi af

like you know that vibe that pledges in a frat have, where they think they're hot shit bc they're 'in a frat' and then they realize that they're a...pledge. like they're at the bottom of the food chain

that's so american i'm so sorry

but that's vibes he gives me

i feel like in his first relationship, he thinks he knows everything. like he thinks he is the king of relationships and he thinks he is the Ultimate Boyfriend (even tho he cringes a little when he hears the word boyfriend irl)

but he's not

it's his first relationship

and i feel like there would be a lot. to unpack.

for example! jisung would constantly be running away in a relationship

especially for the first time that he's in a relationship, you constantly have to chase after him and hope that he's finally gonna open up to you

jisung just has so many layers

as a person

that every time you think you've finally cracked him, he does a 180 on you and gives you a whole new personality to deal with

bc jisung just doesn't do traditional romance

he kinda doesn't understand it but he's also such a romantic that when it comes to real life and when he realizes that real life is a lot messier than romance novels, he just kinda freezes

like he knows you're his s/o but not his S/O™️ if that makes sense

so he'd kinda just act like you're his bestie (that he likes to make out with) until he finally starts to open up and unravel his feelings

jisung's first relationship is a lot of navigating between his mood swings of "I Am The Only Boyfriend. I am God." and "fuck bro i just like to have sex w you and talk abt deep shit"

before he finally realizes that he is not, in fact, god. and that bro is not romantic but he gets away w it bc you're chill like that

he would grow a lot in a relationship fosho

he learns to expand his world from the world in his head to one where you're in it too

jisung would just greet you with a super steamy kiss (bc istg i don't care if this is his first relationship, i just know he's a good kisser) and then ask you if his hat was fly enough to wear in the dance practice video

that's just how he works tbh

but jisung is very observant

for all of his interesting habits, jisung will pick up in 30 seconds flat if smth abt you is off

whether he shows it or not, he pays a lot of attention to you and your habits and will literally sit down for hours and analyze if you hated his guts and wanted to break up w him if you said hi a half note lower than you usually did

and oftentimes, he would be right

i mean obviously, you don't hate his guts and you definitely didn't want to break up w him

but if you were having a bad day, no matter how well you concealed it, jisung would know

i feel like that's the one thing that keeps him being a good boyfriend in the beginning of the relationship

he's so good at reading body language and looking at small details that he never fails to pick up on slight changes

almost to the extent where you think he's reading your mind

but on the flipside jisung is hard to read at first

like i said, he's just got so much going on in his head that you're almost unsure which side of jisung you're dealing w

but as you guys mature together, he definitely opens up a lot more and you're able to read him almost as well as he reads you

NSFW CONTENT BELOW.

but beyond just in your sfw relationship, jisung would be equally attentive in the bedroom

i feel like jisung is a more experimental person than ppl realize

like he truly enjoys pleasureful experiences and he will watch your every microexpression to make sure you're having as much fun as he is

that being said

i think jisung is more of a receiver than a giver

but not by much

like a 60 - 40 split

and the main advantage comes with handjobs

idk what it is abt them

but i feel like jisung would find out very early into the relationships that he rlly likes handjobs

his first relationship is full of exploring himself and what he enjoys as well as exploring you(r body) and what you enjoy

and handjobs are the one thing that he just cannot resist every single time

whenever you rlly give him a good one, LORD KNOWS that he will be going down on you and giving you the head you deserve

bc i feel like jisung wouldn't have too much control over his body in his first relationship, he would probably cum a lot sooner than he would like

and he hates cumming before you - whether it be for an ego reason or bc he feels guilty that he feels good and you don't, he just doesn't like it

so he learns to give good head (and i mean good head. like i would tie him with mark as the top head givers in nct dream) so that he can bring you right to the edge w him and you can cum together

overall, just a very interesting and growth filled experience where jisung and you both learn to love and grow together <3

[gamerwoman3d]

Welp. It's been fun but I gotta go to horny jail for about the next thousand years or so. Holy fuck.

[Spicy/Explicit AND gifs AND gore under the cut 🔞]

Original video:

[And not to brag but yes I did get a flawless victory over him in that ridiculous Seasonal Tower in Invasions mode. Watch the whole thing if you want to find out how.]

Okay. It is horny hours.

They objectified the fuck outta this man in this fatality and honestly? Kudos.

This hit me in all the kinks at once. No trigger warnings past this point read at your own risk

On screen, the whole thing about Shang Tsung pouring pain-inducing liquid on Sub-Zero's chest reads like hot wax. It reads like overstimulation and forced climax. Omg his hips... the way Shang Tsung watches/monitors him almost gives the viewer permission and encouragement to do the same. It's as if Shang Tsung is telling us "I'm enjoying watching this man writhe and spurt and lose his mind. I'm enjoying it immensely, actually. There's no reason not to do so."

We get so many of Sub-Zero's expressions. That's the more intimate part - the part most often censored in any kind of porn is the man's face, as if it's illegal for them to display any kind of expressions. As if they might accidentally leak proof of an actual emotion, it is too taboo even in the realm of porn to show the guy's face. That's what makes this particular piece of art-violence unique: it's usually a woman cringing in fear and pain and dread at the brink of being devoured by a monster that is simultaneously a vagina dentata and also phallic. [See: Ripley, Aliens.]

So we get to see his face in part pain, part fear, part on the brink of death, all the way through a symbolic climax, until literally he's getting his mind blown. And it's kinda amazing.

As for the other kinks this scene is reminiscent of, I'm personally not a big fan of being tied down but exceptions can be made - I'm into it if he is. There's the dom/sub[-zero hah] element of Shang Tsung having autonomy while Sub-Zero can only watch and pray [he kinda mouths 'oh my god' - right? if you read lips, lmk]. Not into the power imbalance part but Shang Tsung's enjoyment of the situation itself is also kinda arousing.

The final bit is the blood/birth stuff. Skipping the mpreg stuff [Barbara Creed has all this covered in The Monstrous Femme, check it out from a library], the blood stuff is... well its a kink for some. For me there's only one week a month where seeing blood on his nose is acceptable 😝

And yea I'd still sit there if the enthusiasm was mutual. Damn snake beat me to it this time tho.

[cookinguptales]

just saw someone online talking about don hertzfeldt's "rejected" like it was just some "lol so random" youtube video from the early 2000s and like... yeah, it was funny! and I'm sure the randomness and memeability were a lot of what made it go viral. but I'm sad that it's been remembered that way.

like, that short film was about creativity and capitalism and how imagination is stifled and destroyed when it's forced into the box of "marketability", leading to mental anguish on the part of the artist. it's a message that's only become more and more poignant over the years as all art has slowly been reduced to "content" on the internet, particularly youtube, and I still rewatch it regularly.

yes, the fake ads in it were silly and random and violent and weird, but that's because he was purposefully trying to create the least marketable art possible. it has sex and violence and grotesque imagery all wrapped up in a cutesy art style, and it's the exact opposite of the glossy animation you get in marketing. moreover, the point was that the animations became more and more disjointed and "random" and awful as they were forced to exist in a corporate vacuum devoid of any real meaning. that's why the very world they were living in fell apart in the end.

the whole thing! was a very blatant commentary on the damage that commercialization does to art!

and, in a bout of tragic but entirely predictable irony, the art style that he used for "rejected" was immediately stolen, made more palatable for mass consumption, and used for pop tart commercials. it's not so much the death of the author as it is greedy companies shanking the author and then looting their corpse, y'know? it's completely cleaving any marketability from the shambling corpse of their art and leaving the rest for the buzzards.

it's also odd that they listed the short as being something you'd only know about if you hang out on the weird part of the internet because like... y'all know that short was nominated for an oscar, right? that seems about as mainstream as recognition for animated shorts can get. I have literally gone to showings of don hertzfeldt films at major film festivals. he's well known in the animation field.

idk man! I don't have anything against the lol random style of humor from the early days of youtube (I miss it, actually) but to just boil a painfully earnest short film about the devaluing of any creativity that is not palatable to the mass market and the way that artists' souls are slowly killed as they create art solely for corporate interests down to the gifs and memes that emerged from it has me like

man, media literacy really is getting bad these days.