#this is literally just a free will vs control story. how was this movie so lost on so many people.

[demigodofhoolemere]

Trying to find nice stuff for Wish but everywhere you go people are being painfully wrong in their interpretations of the movie

[furious-blueberry0]

Are there people out there that really think that Star Wars is too political? And say that as if it is a flaw?

Like, I’m sorry, but did people seriously look at a saga literally named Star WARS and manage to complain about the fact that it has politics? Did these people watch the movies and only saw the lightsabers, the cool music and the pew pews? Is that all their brain could comprehend?

I’m not saying that you can’t do that, if you want to look at the fun side of the saga only than good for you, but using the argument of “too much politics” and make it the flaw of the story is so stupid.

Like that’s the point, THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT.

George Lucas didn’t just make a story of a good guy vs a bad guy, he made a story where a Republic, a just system that has become corrupted to its core, finds itself into a devastating war and is pushed to its limit by a slimy and disgusting scheming bastard (inspired by George Bush), who then uses its weakness to take control of it and transform it, from a free system to a fascist dictatorship (inspired by Nazi Germany and the USA of the Vietnam war) and whose one of the first things he does is a literal genocide and ethnical cleansing of a religious order.

And this is only the Prequels, because in the OT the story is about how this Empire, whose head and right hand are literally the most powerful beings in the galaxy, gets utterly destroyed not by other powerful beings, not by superpowers, not by mystical forces that the human mind can’t comprehend.

But by people, normal people, the average person, who can’t fly, who can’t use mystical objects, who cannot move things with the mind or other tricks.

The heroes of these movies are the rebels, who are not fighting because of some ancient prophecy, or because of a quest given by mystical beings, or because they have to restore the fabric of the Universe, they fight because it’s the right thing to do, because this is what happens when you take away freedom from people, when you destroy their homes, when you kill their loved ones, when you obliterate everything they have ever known and loved.

Treat people like animals and they’ll react like animals, by biting the hand that carries the stick and then ripping it into shreds.

And yes, Luke is the hero that saves the day by killing Sidious and Vader, but he would have never, and I say NEVER have arrived at that point without the help of the Rebellion, it’s something that no one could have ever done alone, a single individual against an entire Empire is a suicide, no matter how powerful you are.

And I love it. I don’t even know how to put it into words, I love how this ancient and meticulous plan gets annihilated by normal people, who just wanted to be free.

THIS is Star Wars: a fight against tyranny.

And it makes me sad how people forget and ignore it. With the Rebellion it’s not just the special people who can be heroes, everyone can! And they don’t even need to do the heroic actions described in the stories and the myths.

A Hero says “No” when the Stormtroopers ask if they saw the young and scared boy who ran and hid behind the bins near their home.

A Hero gives extra blankets and food to the neighbor that is hiding refugees.

A Hero “accidentally” blocks the way of a squad of Stormtroopers, to give others the time to escape.

A Hero hides the weapons of the rebels in their well while the Stormtroopers raid all the houses.

A Hero runs through the streets and into the woods to go find the rebels that are hiding there, to tell them it’s time to run

A Hero talks loudly about the atrocities that the Empire is committing, forcing those who are silent to listen.

A Hero comforts the mother who lost all her children to the Empire.

A Hero organizes the funeral of that same mother, after she tried to take her revenge.

A Hero doesn’t let the Empire enter their head, they don’t let it change their being.

It’s all about the small acts of insurrection that pushes the line forward.

[rollercoasterwords]

like. ok i am going to spell it out

the reason having conversations about representation can be productive in the realm of like. tv or movies or published fiction is that

a) those forms of media are outside the realm of your control. like. most individuals do not get much of a say in the creation of film and most individuals never publish books, etc. BUT

b) those forms of media are largely driven by audience consumption. they exist in a profit economy and rely on reaching an audience to survive. so it does matter what the audience thinks, because a bigger, happier audience = more money

ergo, yelling about liking or disliking something is essentially one of the only ways you can make a difference in those forms of media. it can be productive to push for lesbian rep in tv shows, for example, because if consumers are putting their money where their mouth is then it incentivizes the people who do control what gets made to make things that consumers will want to buy.

but none of that applies to fanfiction.

do you see where i'm going with this? generally speaking, fanfiction is something made as a hobby by individuals who are writing stories that they want to see. because there is no profit, it doesn't really matter what an audience wants; at the end of the day, people generally aren't going to be motivated to write stories for free in their spare time if the story isn't something they themselves want to write. if someone is choosing to write stories about men over writing stories about women, that is not automatically or inherently misogynistic.

additionally--this is a space where you can control the media you consume! if there's a story you want to read, you can just write it. like. it's fanfiction. you can literally just write anything you want to see.

"oh but i'm not a good writer" "oh but that takes so long" "oh but that's so hard" "oh but i don't want to write it, i just want to read it"

okay? go search for the stories you want then. there are tons of people writing wlw fic in this fandom; you can find them if you try.

"yeah but the wlw fics aren't as good--" fuck off

"yeah but there aren't as many--" THEN WRITE SOME. or find a fic writer who writes wlw fic and shower them with praise if you really want to encourage them to keep writing. aside from writing it yourself, supporting wlw fic writers is the most productive thing you can do if you genuinely feel that this is a serious issue.

but when you complain that there's "not enough" wlw fic, you are approaching fanfiction in the same way you would approach media created within a profit economy. you are acting as if fic writers are obligated to provide you, the consumer, with certain types of "content," which deteriorates the boundaries that keep fanfiction outside the consumer economy and protect it as one of few community spaces left that has not been entirely swallowed by the chokehold of capitalism. is there a conversation to be had about how misogyny might play into the popularity of mlm vs. wlw fic? sure! but that is a nuanced conversation that cannot be boiled down to a one-sentence tweet or a single comment on tiktok, and trying to simplify it down to a punchline does more harm than good.

[creature-wizard]

Am I in a cult ? If yes, is there a specific name to this kind of pipeline ? Is that some kind of domestic-abuse-survivor-to-antivax-wellness pipeline ?

Sorry for the massive ask, it's very long, I'm planning to talk to a therapist about that.

For context : I live outside of US, in Europe, english isn't my native language. I've spent my early years in a very religious christian environment, then teenhood in New Age type of environment (they say it's not New Age, but I don't see any differences with that, it's repackaged Eastern spiritualities and religions mixed with pseudo-science self-help wellness cure-for-all-sickness).

I think I might spend all my childhood and teenhood in a cult environment. Very isolated. Very us-vs-them, we're specia and they're borinfg, mindset.

Multiple trauma layered within each other, school, home, medical, family, youth movements, deaths, suicides, being forced to watch horrific stuff for "good benevolent samaritan savior" reasons, other horrific stuff happened.

I'm still in it. This situation got worse with time since 2020.

My parents keep saying they're not partaking in cult interactions, they're skeptical and free thinkers, wich makes me even more confused. I mean it's like they're in a cult but it doesn't look like a cult and they say it's not a cult.

I'm not sure about it since it doesn't look like what I've seen portrayed online and in movies.

We don't go to church, attend public events. The only information sources and interactions are on social medias like youtube. Politicians talking about pfizer and "big pharma corruptions" and how freedom patriots will save everyone. That kind of tropes. But apparently it's not social media because it doesn't look like Facebook or Instagram. I stopped doing that very recently, 2021-2022. Seriously it was so hard to quit this habit, I'm so glad I did it.

Every time I learn about post traumatic stress responses, new age psychology cults, wellness spiritual healing mlm marketing, cult behavior, codependent issues, white supremacy pure blood tropes, I get terrified because I relate a bit too well. I'm living in this ideological nightmare. I had similar experiences in a different context.

I've been fed all kind of conspiracy theories (they're not "conspiracists" just skeptical and free thinkers), spiritual "healing", "I choose what happened to me and I'm a special soul" kind of karma tropes, had forced exorcism on me while having a mental crisis because I had "bad spirits" controlling me, heard all the time about apocalypse scenarios where vaccinated people would die within a few months, heard horrific stories about covid vaccines side effects, red-pill "we live in a society and others are mindless NPCs" stories, I can't even describe all the things I've gone trough those last three years.

I'm still really scared of the idea of escaping this pipeline. I don't even know what exactly it is, how to escape this, what to expect and how to leave properly when my parents will learn about that. It feels like it's been all my life. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just me being "psychotic" like they say.

How do I make sure I'm not interpretating and making false assumptions ? Most of the time, I don't even know how to check my own stories, beliefs, opinions from actual facts. Am I in a cult or am I making things up ?

Thank you for reading to the end.

Cults in real life rarely look like the ones on TV, which are based more on conspiracy theories about cults. Real cults look like the kind of thing you're describing. You are absolutely in a cult; you're literally describing the same stuff I'm talking about when I write about the bullshit that New Agers/QAnons/Q Agers are into.

There are support groups for people in your shoes, including ReQovery and QAnon Casualties on Reddit.

Maybe some of my followers have more ideas?

[astreetcarnamedwynn]

U V W X :chinhands:

This took much longer than expected. I should have expected it though because I always write too much. Thank you so much for the ask, @dottie-wan-kenobi! I enjoyed getting the chance to ponder and flail about fandom!

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Persona 5: Goro Akechi. My poor little meow meow. His duality fascinates me: who he presents himself to be vs. who he really is, who he wanted to be as a child vs. who he has become now. His slow realization that he’s merely the puppet of more powerful forces in the game (Shido, Yaldabaoth (though he doesn’t quite know this), and Maruki) is heartbreaking, as are the choices that he makes to break free from that control.  

Yuri on Ice: Yuuri Katsuki. He is so important to me. He’s so wrapped up in his head, striving for acknowledgement, for success, for Victor, that he doesn’t see his own talent or how bright of a light that he is. His blossoming over the course of the show is lovely. I desperately wish for a season two of the show (or the long delayed movie) because I want to see more of Yuuri’s journey to discover life and love.

Bungou Stray Dogs: Nakahara Chuuya. I am in aesthetic lust with his design. There’s just something about it that calls to me. The red hair, the jaunty hat, the even jauntier grin, the choker and the coat. He’s a pintsized powerhouse and so achingly human (despite his less than human origins). His dynamic with Dazai is fascinating, and I wish we got to see more of him in the anime & manga.

Final Fantasy XV: Prompto Argentum. See above re: Nakahara Chuuya being so achingly human despite his origins. See above re: Yuuri Katsuki and his anxiety and lack of belief in himself. See above re: Goro Akechi and the power of Robbie Daymond as a voice actor. He’s an anxious ball of sunshine just trying to keep up with royalty, and I love how he helps Noctis to feel human, despite the literal weight of the world on his shoulders.

Game of Thrones: Sansa Stark. Sansa for queen. I found her story the most compelling in the show (it’s been too long since I’ve read the books for me to comment on them). She has such a hard, relentless reality check. The little songbird is nearly crushed by the cruelty of the world, but she finds a way to survive in the figurative lion’s den, without any physical or mystical prowess. She should have been Queen of all Westeros at the end, not just Queen of the North.

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Persona 5: Goro Akechi x Akira Kurusu (Ren Amamiya). Because, to paraphrase Hegel, advancement cannot occur without both thesis and antithesis. Because they are two sides of the same coin. Because in other circumstances they could have been great rivals, maybe even friends. Because Akira is the one person that Goro refuses to lose to. Because Akira held on to the glove. Because Goro being alive & his real, angry, jaded self is Akira’s greatest wish.

Avatar: Katara x Zuko. Because one rises with the moon and the other rises with the sun. Because Katara offered to heal his scar. Because Zuko went with her to find her mother’s killer. Because Katara went with him to confront his sister. Because Zuko threw himself in front of lightning to protect Katara.

 Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy and Spike. Because they are my first online OTP. Because Spike would rather be fighting her (and because the feeling is mutual). Because Spike knows that he’s a monster, but Buffy treats him like a man. Because Buffy asked him to stay. Because Spike made a promise to a lady. Because 147 days yesterday and 148 days today. 

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Yuri on Ice: Victor x Yuuri. Yuuri & his stamina just wrecking Victor

Trigun Stampede: Vash x Wolfwood. Wolfwood calling Vash ‘angel’

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dazai x Chuuya. Emotional honesty 

Game of Thrones: Jon x Sansa. Jon going down on Sansa like a champ

Persona 5: Goro x Akira. Philosophical debates as foreplay

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Yuri on Ice: Yuri Plisetsky

Persona 5: Yusuke Kitagawa

The Untamed: Wei Wuxian

My Hero Academia: Todoroki Shouto

Fruits Basket: Tohru Honda

Trigun Stampede: Vash

Howl’s Moving Castle: Sophie Hatter

Breath of the Wild: Sidon

Bungou Stray Dogs: (tie) Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Atsushi Nakajima

[ruethos]

I figured I'd ask cause I've been following you for a while and you post transformers every so often, and I'm finally caving and want to check it out. So I'm curious what you might recommend to start at? (Cartoon-specifc)

Oh boy, okay SO this really depends on what exactly you're looking for in a show, so I'm gonna give you a variety to choose from.

The Transformers/G1: It's silly!! A fun Saturday morning cartoon that doesn't take itself too seriously. The Autobots and Decepticons, caught in their millions year long civil war, crash land on Earth and continue their battles. This is just a vehicle for Shenanigans to happen. You WILL get whiplash from how quickly the first episode changes scenes. 3 full seasons total, season 2 is the best one imo. You can watch it for free on Tubi.

Transformers Animated: not AS silly but still light-hearted. A fun cast with some of the best human characters in the franchise and a great overarching plot. Basically throws out the "in disguise" part and makes the bots heroes in futuristic Detroit. Some of my FAVORITE versions of these characters. 3 seasons and SHOULD'VE had a fourth but Hasbro killed it (something of a running theme in the franchise as a whole). You can watch it for free on Tubi.

Transformers Prime: a more serious take on the franchise that still manages to keep some levity. Small teams of Autobots and Decepticons (lead by Optimus Prime and Megatron respectively) continue their civil war in secret on Earth, vying for control of the energy rich planet. Absolutely STELLAR 3D animation and good character designs. A take on Cybertronian culture that has influenced so much of what has come after it. Middle of the pack human characters, /I/ think they're fine but a lot of people don't. 3 seasons and a TV movie, also got cut short. Season 1 is available on Netflix and the rest is for free on Tubi.

Transformers Cyberverse: I love Cyberverse to bits. Poppy art style that’s pleasing to the eye with a good mix of the 3D animation and 2D effects. I was gonna describe the plot until I realized that uh, it changes? Autobots vs Decepticons, except when it isn’t. Really has fun with the setting of Cybertron (once they get there), and is one of the few series that actually go PAST the war. 3 seasons and season 4 was two tv movie specials. Killed too soon. The only down side is that the episodes 15 minutes or so. I love this show so much. You can watch it for free on YouTube.

Transformers Rescue Bots: actually one of the best shows in the franchise and I am being 100% serious. A team of first responder bots have to team up with a family of first responders and keep the island of Griffin Rock safe while posing as highly advanced non-sentient robots. It's the baby show. Completely new cast of characters with some guest appearances from the heavy hitters (Optimus Prime and Bumblebee). The BEST human main and side characters. There's a musical episode. I honestly love this show so so so much please don't let the art style fool you it's SO GOOD. The only series to get 4 seasons and they are WELL. DESERVED. Also it takes place at the same time and in the same continuity as Prime, which will never not be funny to me. Season 1 is on Netflix, seasons 3 and 4 are available for free on The Roku Channel, but I can’t find anywhere to watch season 2. But, well, there are ways around that.

Transformers Beast Wars: listen. LISTEN. This is the best show in the franchise. Bar none. Look past the goofy late 90′s cg animation. Yes its fun to make fun of but eventually you stop paying attention to that because the show is just THAT. GOOD. Two ships, one full of Maximals and the other full of Predacons (the descendants of Autobots and Decepticons, respectively) are sent back in time and crash land on prehistoric Earth. GREAT characters, wonderful story, introduces SO many things that are still used in the series to this day. I love Beast Wars with literally all of my heart. It’s available for free on Tubi.

Honorable Mention: Transformers Earthspark. This is only an honorable mention because season 1 isn’t even finished yet but what we have of it so far is VERY good. Great characters, wonderful animation, great music, and a lot of promise going forward. I’m so excited to see where this is gonna go.

EDIT: I actually forgot to mention, you can watch most of these for free on the Transformers Official youtube!!

EDIT #2: Added proper summaries for all of the shows.

[emoangel44]

from the view of my non-expert but shadow loving heart:

yes. he is learning to overcome it tho with help of friends, learning to move on and figuring out who he is

fear that history will repeat and those he cares about will be taken from him and fear that it will be his fault again. fear that hes nothing more than the worst desires of those who created him. fear that he wont ever be able to act of his own free will and there will always be someone else manipulating him. fear that he will outlast his loved ones. fear that he will lose himself again. but hes a very brave boy so dont worry about it

tbh it was like the 50s they probably had like weird poison lights up there natural light is probably good for him

i feel like its partly an era thing like 50era scifi future guess vs like 2000s city. the memory loss probably helped actually he was just like "wow hotpockets ipod action movies this is the coolest" bcuz he couldnt even remember his old life and then by the time he could he already had new stuff he liked. problem solved. i wonder what shadow was doing between heros and shth05 tho i like to think he was staying with rouge just like listlessly depressed on her couch

that is a complex question... ill admit a lot of really die hard shadow fans do actually like some of his harsher portrayals but i personally like softer ones. like to me shadow is like 15 and that the most important thing 2 keep in mind abt him. tbh his story of like figuring yourself out and standing up to the older figures in your life who control you is pretty teenagery too lol. like i like to imagine he lightens up a bit after a while of sorting himself out. and u literally see that happening from start to end in sa2. hes a troubled edgy kid whos lived through hell and he puts up walls around himself and hes kind of brooding and depressed but he still always takes action to do what he believes in and dedicates himself to protecting the world despite everything and he has a hard time letting other people in but he cant help but be reminded of maria in every little beautiful person and thing in the world and yeah

fave: sa2 no question. just listen to david humphrey sa2 voice comp. also that one shth05 interview. also go read the dash&spin issues hes in hes so wildly out of character in the opposite direction than usual its a riot. least fave: i have to admit i have a soft spot for boom shadow hes too funny i cant rank him last. hes a different guy in my head anyways. i guess like... idw or something. i havent actually sat down and read it but everything ive seen of shadow from it i havent been a fan. also i am biased because i hate how they characterize silver

Do any shadow lovers want to answer my questions

[the-other-art-blog]

Black Widow thoughts SPOILERS!!!

Before going into spoilers I just have to say I really liked this movie. There are few things that I’d change. But overall, the good compensated the bad. I am satisfied.

What i absolutely loved:

The opening scene was great! Just like I expected, it’s so like The Americans. If you haven’t watch that show, it’s just the best spy series ever. And this scene felt a lot like that.

The opening credits scene WOW, again so much like The Americans. It’s so moving I almost cry. I really loved it. It’s shocking. I’m going to be listening to that cover repeatedly for the next few days.

I loved Mason, I always love to meet the person who helps these characters get all the IDs and everything they need. I love their relationship. O-T couldn’t shut up about his ship, he so wants Mason and Natasha to be a couple. He could have a crush, but I’m not sure she reciprocates. But I love Yelena saying he’s sensitive. He’s a softy, bless him 🥰 I hope he makes cameos in other movies.

Natasha vs Yelena OMG That fight was so raw, I don’t think we’ve ever seen a fight like that before! I mean, I suppose Disney + shows have that kind of fights, but it’s great to see it in a movie and in this particular movie!!! Often you see really well-choreographed fight sequences, but you don’t feel the punches... but here... I mean these women really went for it. It hurt watching them.

Natasha calling Dreykov’s daughter “collateral damage” was great. When Loki mentioned her I imagined a young adult, but it was only a child! And Natasha was willing to sacrifice her! I think that was great for a Marvel movie cause there’s no way of justifying it. She was just a little girl!!! And it plays with the whole “girls are expendable” narrative.

The traces of Clint and Nat playing X and Os was hilarious. I need a Marvel one-shot about that. It would be amazing and I bet they would have deep conversations to kill time.

I loved Red Guardian, he’s so pathetic. He only cares about himself and his glorious days. Loved his tattoos, I saw Yelena and Nat’s name, and Melina + Lenin and Marx!

I also loved to see the 3 generations of widows.

Melina reminded me so much of Elizabeth from The Americans. Her saying that the mission went great cause they fooled everyone... she was so indoctrinated.

YELENA BELOVA... everything.

She has 3 running gags: the vest, the cool way to die, and the pose!

“Why the aggression?” in deep Russian accent. lol

I liked the way they addressed the hysterectomy. The way Alexei makes this sexist comment about her period and Yelena takes this to talk about it and how graphic she was!

Ok but Yelena blowing up a tower and causing an avalanche!

The dinner table scene!

Can everybody please stop hurting Yelena! First Alexei talks about their family as a dreadful thing, then Melina talking proudly about “unlocking free will” and Natasha saying that the family was fake! 🥺

Natasha was only indoctrinated and it’s because of her that Dreykov decided to control them fully. That’s why Yelena’s story is more heartbreaking + she’s the baby of the family and she got it worse! And each and every one of them had part of responsibility in her suffering. Nat never looked back, like at least she should have made follow up to the status of the widows.

Is Yelena truly Russian? What if she was taken from somewhere else?!

Good job Natasha appealing to Dreykov’s fragile masculinity!

Taskmaster was great. I loved the twist that it was Drekov’s daughter.

THAT POST CREDIT SCENE left me speechless. I couldn’t breathe! Why would Val tell Yelena that Clint was responsible?! I’m assuming they told everyone about Natasha’s sacrifice and that’s why her grave have so much flowers. So, what’s Val’s plan?

I love every time they curse in Russian

The not so nicely done:

Why do they keep calling her “Romanoff”? I would expect that the Russian characters would call her “Romanova”

Also, if they were posing as an American family, why were her names still Russian. We don’t see them interacting with anyone, but Melina says “Yelena”. It’s not even that hard to do it. Call Natasha --> Nataly and Yelena --> Elena (that’s actually the name but the pronunciation changes it).

I wish they would have brought back Julie Deeply as the leader of the Red Room. 

There’s no way, none, Natasha and Yelena would have survived that crash. I mean, the car exploded, rolled, and then both are still fit to run!

Couldn’t Renner made a brief flashback scene? I appreciated how much he was mentioned, but I would have loved seeing him. I’m not even sure that’s his voice in the flashback.

Ok, but why was the guy at the gas station so chill? 😂 They were talking about being killers and I find a bit mean that he didn’t recognize Natasha. They literally said she was an Avenger. Maybe because they were talking in English. 

Some of the science makes absolutely no sense. There’s no way of “serving the nerve” like that. The pheromones either.

The floating base doesn’t make sense either.

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. their crush

Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Member

Word count: 3.9k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: It’s just them crushing on you 

Warnings: -

Masterlist

A/n: I tried a different format this time and used bullet points rather than just making it like a full story since my brain was going crazy when I wrote this. Let me know which format you prefer and maybe I might incorporate both bullet points and the essay ones since I actually quite enjoy writing using both.

Chan

You guys only met because you knew Jeongin 

The tiny babie brought you to meet his friends 

Chan was smitten when he first met you 

He thought you were so pretty when he saw you following behind Jeongin 

“Innie,” 

“Yeah?”

“Who is that?” 

He wants Jeongin to introduce you two

Sensing the vibes, the maknae is more than happy to introduce you two 

if he was being honest, he already knew Chan would pretty much fall in love with you immediately

Chan’s flustered when he introduces himself to you 

He’s almost blubbering all over the place 

You find it kinda cute but he’s scared you found him really weird 

He tries to steal little moments to be with you 

Like ‘accidentally’ bumping into you in the hallway 

Or how he just so happens to walk into Jeongin’s room when you’re on a call with him

Or how he just so happens to be lingering around the flea market nearby your college campus 

Chan takes care of you without even realising it 

If you bump into each other he asks whether you’ve eaten or how your day is 

He loves the way you seem to parent his friends like he does 

“Jisung, put the knife down. You’re going to hurt somebody” 

“Hehe, make me” 

“PUT IT DOWN 〴⋋_⋌〵” 

Chan’s surprised he listens to you

He loves how everyone only seems to listen if you’re the one talking too

If you’re hanging out with them at the dorms and Chan can’t seem to control everyone, you just step in 

“Guys, please”

And suddenly the chaos has calmed down 

Chan finds it amazing 

Everyone just… stops when you ask them to

You find it amusing 

It’s like watching a single dad trying to control his seven wild sons

He chases after Felix around the dorm a lot because he’s usually done something weird with Minho and Jisung

He manages to get your number using an excuse of needing you to calm down the boys 

“Please… they don’t listen sometimes” 

Jeongin finds reasons to push you two together 

“Yay! You guys made—oH nO I ComPleTeLy foRgoT!!”

Leaves the two of you alone 

He honestly just thinks you two should get together and so does the rest of the group

So they find excuses to get you two alone together 

But your relationship takes f o r e v e r  

Only because Chan wants to be absolutely certain that he likes you

He doesn’t want to commit to someone he’s worried he’s not sure of yet

Slowly but surely, he starts to ease into the relationship

He sends you music he thinks you’ll like 

Eventually he’ll start sending you his own music 

He only confesses when he’s absolutely sure he’s pretty much falling in love with you 

The way he does it just wins your heart immediately if you weren’t already as whipped for him as he was 

He writes a song for you (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡ 

Minho

Bumped into you at a dance studio he goes to often

He thinks your dancing is amazing 

At first he doesn’t want to bother you 

But then he’s all like “heyyyy I’m Minho” 

And you’re pretty much taken away by how gorgeous the man is 

Minho wouldn’t be too flustered 

He would keep his cool around you 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to impress you with his sexy dance moves 

Tries to win your heart the romantic way which doesn’t work because half the time you’re too busy dancing to actually realise he’s trying to flirt with you

“Hey, baby ;)” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing”

Wonders whether he should just make a dedicated advance towards you 

He likes your humour 

It’s similar to his 

You both just laugh at really weird stuff together 

When you share your numbers, he sends you weird videos that he thinks you’ll like 

Minho’s not much of a texter, but when you do get a message from him, it’s either something he’s really excited about or something really weird 

Only realises he’s actually crushing on you when Changbin points it out 

“Why are you so nice to them” 

“Who?” 

“(Y/n)” 

Then Minho realises that he really likes you

Starts slowly working harder to win your heart 

Helps you with your dancing

“Your body looks a bit stiff” 

Buys you lunch 

“I got you the lunch box from 7 11”

It’s always something you end up liking if you hadn’t tried it before

Buys you drinks from the vending machine 

“What is this???” 

It looks like a double shot coffee 

“Energy?”

Minho doesn’t know either but you both drink it anyway 

And end up being at the studio until 3 a.m. because you’re both so hyped with caffeine

Offers to walk you home if it’s getting late

“It’s not safe on your own”

“Minho, I’ll be fineeeee” 

Doesn’t take no for an answer and forces you to let him

His advances work

You’re pretty much whipped for him by the time he confesses 

Which Minho does by buying you flowers and bringing it to the studio 

Changbin

You work at the music shop that he goes to often 

When he’s browsing the CD’s and the vinyls, he spots you at the counter 

His heart almost explodes when he sees you 

The first thing that caught his eye was the way you were dressed 

:0 

Fits Changbin’s style 

He’s nervous to approach you with the vinyl in his hand 

Why was he so nervous? 

Oh right, he was pretty much completely smitten by you 

“Hi!” 

 He loves your voice even more

“H-Hey,”

Changbin’s so nervous 

He likes your bracelets too 

He thinks they’re really cool 

He ends up coming back a lot and you wonder why this man needs so many CD’s and vinyls 

Eventually, he builds up the courage to talk to you

Changbin comes by every once in a while just to say hi 

Sometimes he just comes in to talk to you during your break

You tell him you’ve always wanted to try making music

He tells you he makes music 

You’re all :0 

Changbin tells you about it 

And you get really interested in his music 

He starts coming after your shift or during your break to play you his songs 

He gets all uwu when he sees the way your eyes shine 

You have him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it 

Doesn’t admit that he’s pretty much whipped 

Even though he visits you almost every other day 

And how he buys you your favourite snacks 

Or how he stays way longer than he expected to just bcs he’s talking to you 

You’re just as whipped tbh 

You love talking to Changbin 

You like his music taste and he’s fun to be around 

Confesses to you by taking you out on a date 

He brings you to his studio 

Shows you how he makes music 

He finds it adorable how you’re so amazed by his equipment

So he teaches you whatever he can in the time you’re together 

You both spend the evening just messing around 

You make a short track that you’re sure sounds really off

Changbin reassures you that it’s nice 

He teaches you how to layer the different tracks 

And eventually teaches you how to edit them despite the few hours you have 

You’re so excited 

He smiles every time he looks at you 

Bcs you’re so adorable he feels like he might burst 

Confesses at the end of the night 

“I like you a lot” 

He blurts it out and it catches you slightly off guard 

But you like him back so it’s fine 

Ends up offering to take you to the studio anytime you’re both free

Hyunjin 

Met you through Felix 

Felix invited you to play a game with him and his friends 

Hyunjin hears your voice the first time and he’s already curious 

He thinks you’re really chill and he likes your vibe 

You end up playing more games with them 

He ends up wanting to get to know you more 

The thing that honestly gets to him the most is the way you take every loss so lightheartedly 

“There’s always another game” 

You don’t rage or stress out over it 

Over time, he starts spending one-on-one time with you 

Until you’re both just doing literally anything else but gaming together 

He denies them as dates whenever his friends ask, claiming that it’s just friend time

Until one night you’re both awake at four a.m. and talking about everything and anything 

He likes the way you think

“Hyunjin, did you know that sometimes in movies, they use trash cans to replicate tiger roars” 

“What???”

He likes how you’re joking talking about starting a revolution 

He knows you won’t

“So, yeah, fuck capitalism!” 

“Yeah!” 

He loves the fact that you’re so open about what you think even if it’s something small or weird

“Mercy’s ass is so thick… for what reason…” 

“She’s a video game character??” 

“Felix, her ass is so thick, she could kill someone with it” 

Hyunjin loves hearing you rant about your day 

“And?? It’s so stupid!!”

“Calm down, (Y/n)”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you egg!” 

Hyunjin thinks you’re adorable when you’re all riled up

He finds it amusing because he likes hearing you talk 

“You live there too?” 

He didn’t expect to be so close to you

“Yeah, that’s how I met Felix” 

He never realised you and Felix knew each other in real life

You spend more time together 

Talking about whatever comes to mind until the dead of night 

Sometimes you watch movies together 

You stay away from horror movies because he doesn’t like it that much 

But you’re always talking about something with him

The two of you are always the last to leave the call because you end up talking after games 

Hyunjin asks you out without even realising it sounds like a date

“Is that a date??” 

“Sure” 

He didn’t even realise he asked you out until after he’s left the call

?!?!?!?!

Goes into panic mode 

He just asked you out!!!! 

Starts asking Felix about you

He laughs at Hyunjin but helps him anyway

Shows him what you look like on your Instagram 

Hyunjin thinks you’re so pretty on your posts

When he sees you in person for the first time 

He’s so taken away 

You’re gorgeous

Whatever feeling he didn’t realise he had for you comes rushing in 

Hyunjin loves your laugh 

You spend the whole day together just walking around town

It’s nice to hear his voice when it isn’t coming out of your headphones

By the time the date’s over, Hyunjin wants more of you 

So he tells you he wants to take you out again while he’s walking you home 

You accept 

He turns to you with a c: before asking if he can kiss you

Jisung 

You’re a barista at the cafe nearby the JYPe building 

Jisung was designated as the drink buyer that time by the rest of his group 

If he was having trouble remembering all their orders before 

He has even bigger trouble now when he sees you 

YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR APRON 

He freezes the moment he sees you at the cashier 

“Hi! What would you like?” 

Jisung’s eyes go ◑.◑

“Uhm… sir?” 

“Sorry!” 

He struggles to get his order out properly

But you’re patient with him and even though he barely knows you 

He likes that you are 

Jisung’s watching you the entire time you make his order 

He can’t take his eyes off of you 

You do notice it, but you find him adorable so you don’t say anything 

He seems to be easily flustered

When you hand him his order, he’s still a blubbering mess 

“T-Thank you…” 

Your name tag says (Y/n) 

So he thanks you using your name which you smile 

“Have a great day!” 

Jisung comes back the next day 

He doesn’t even need any drinks, he just wants to see you again 

When he does, he feels all fluttery on the inside 

“Welcome back” 

He orders a dark chocolate smoothie and an iced mocha for Minho

Minho would kill him if he found out Jisung went to the cafe without him 

Jisung sits at an empty table and watches you again 

The next day, the cycle repeats 

And the day after that 

And the day after that 

Minho follows him at some point, wondering why Jisung seems to obsessed with the place 

“Why do you like this place so much?” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

Something’s definitely up with him 

Minho only finds out when he sees the way Jisung’s face seems to light up when he sees you 

“You like the barista, don’t you” 

“WHAT BARISTA ಠoಠ” 

That’s all he needs to confirm it 

Minho lets Jisung order, seeing just how excited and giddy he is when he’s talking to you 

Jisung’s practically bouncing up and down while you talk to him 

When they leave, Minho’s all up in it 

“You really like them, huh” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about >:c” 

Knowing Jisung, he wouldn’t do anything about it 

So Minho takes it into his own hands to bring you two together 

The group is having a mini event and they need someone to serve drinks 

Who else to ask other than you? 

Jisung’s eyes almost bulge out of his skull when he sees you because 

What are you doing here???? 

He’s so nervous 

Minho practically shoves him your way 

Again, you find him so cute that you don’t even realise he’s practically dying to know you more 

“Hi Jisung!” 

You learned his name over the course of him constantly coming back and Jisung just loves hearing it from you 

“Hi (Y/n)” 

“I can’t make anything ice blended, but I can trade if for an iced dark chocolate” 

“Okay!” 

As long as you make it, he’ll take it 

The event comes to an end but Jisung’s pretty much spent more time with you rather than his group mates 

Even they’re amused by how into you he obviously is 

“Hey Jisung” 

You stop him before you leave and he’s immediately at your side 

“Since you keep coming over, here’s my number” 

◑.◑

“Give me a call before you come in so that I can have your drink ready for you to pick up” 

He’s so happy :D

He sends you pictures of cute animals and random snippets of his music 

Felix 

Met you through League of Legends

You have good synergy so you became friends through that 

At first, he only managed to play with you occasionally 

When he’s able to, he notices how you always sound so bright 

“Hi Felix!” 

He likes playing with you 

You’re laid-back 

You don’t stress over losses too much 

“Ah, what to do?” 

But when you’re irritated, Felix finds it funny

“Fucking asshole!” 

“You were in the way, (Y/n)”

“Shut the fuck up!” 

You’re so funny to him 

“Felix, don’t go into bush” 

“I can bait them” 

“DON’T”

His character dies

“Oops ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)”

“-`д´-” 

You’re easy to game with and that’s what he admires the most right off the bat 

You always seem to be up for games 

Even when he’s not able to play, whenever he logs into Discord he sees you’re online 

Wonders whether you sleep at all 

“I don’t need sleep. I am gamerrrr. Gamers don’t sleep” 

“Please sleep” 

“Lix, sleep is for the weak and I’m not weak” 

“You passed out last night in call” 

Honestly slightly concerned for you 

Overtime he realises that he really looks forward to games with you

Before Felix would just go to sleep after practice or shows 

But he’ll start waiting to see if you’re up for even one game 

Which you always are 

Slowly starts spending time with you just talking 

Eventually it leads to the both of you staying up until 5 a.m. laughing at really stupid memes 

During the day when Felix can’t join call 

He sends you funny tiktoks and memes 

You appreciate it because you like him 

But you don’t admit it because you’ve never met him in person before

Until you both find out that you live only a few hours away from him 

Invites you down to Seoul to spend time with him 

You’re nervous

Felix is nervous

He knows what you look like

You exchanged Snapchats and started streaking a while before 

He sends you funny pictures of his members 

You send him selfies with random filters

But nothing could prepare him for when you appear from around the corner 

He sees you appear and he’s all (゜ロ゜)

Your photos don’t do your natural beauty any justice

Is a bit of a mess when you’re walking around together 

Eventually loosens up around you 

Compliments you a lot and it makes you blush 

You spend the day just wandering around the place 

Felix takes you to his favourite places and favourite cafes 

He wants to share his favourite things with you 

You find it endearing 

Tries to make you laugh a lot because he’s just grown to really like the sound of your voice 

Since you’ve spent most of your time talking over call

Felix just loves hearing your voice 

When the day’s over 

He asks for more nights that aren’t just filled with games because owo he wants to do more with you 

Seungmin

Bumped into you at JYPe because you were visiting a friend 

Hears you singing with Yeji and he immediately falls in love with your voice 

He peeks into the dance studio to see the two of you just sitting on the floor together 

There’s no music 

It’s just the two of you singing together 

Your voice makes him :D 

Seungmin leaves the two of you bcs he doesn’t want to intrude 

But he ends up seeing you more often 

Turns out you’re in Seoul for a while so you’re spending quite some time with Yeji 

He sees you in the hallways a lot

When you walk past each other, it’s always just a polite bow 

You don’t really think much of Seungmin other than the fact that you think he’s pretty handsome 

Yeji teases you for that 

When you’re walking through the building to look for her 

You hear someone singing in one of the rooms 

You peek through the glass 

It’s Seungmin! 

ಠoಠ

And he’s so good

You listen from outside the door 

You knew he was good since he was an idol

But you didn’t think that he was that good

You don’t even realise he’s done when the door swings open and you’re standing there 

When Seungmin sees you, he realises you were most likely listening 

Now you’re just staring at each other like 

(ﾟωﾟ;)

Because now he knows you were listening 

And now you know he knows 

“Uhm…” 

You’re embarrassed 

You’re lucky Yeji pops from around the corner and your eyes plead for her to drag you away 

Which she doesn’t 

“Sunbaenim!”

“Hi Yeji” 

“Have you met (Y/n) before?” 

You actually want to tear her apart

“Not properly, no” 

“Well... “ 

“WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME” 

You drag her away before she can say anything else 

The next time you see Seungmin 

You pass by him in the hallway once again while you’re looking for Yeji

“(Y/n)” 

ಠ_ಠ

“We keep passing each other but we’ve yet to actually meet each other properly” 

“Haha…” 

“I know you were listening the other day” 

“Haaahhhhhhaaaa…”

“I don’t mind that you did.”

“Huh” 

You’re actually bit surprised that he doesn’t mind

“I overheard you and Yeji singing the other day in the dance room” 

༼ : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ༽

“You sing really beautifully, (Y/n)” 

There’s an awkward wall that takes a while before you two actually break it down 

But when you do 

It’s almost like you visit the building to see Seungmin rather than Yeji 

She doesn’t mind since she saw it coming 

Doesn’t mean she can’t tease you about it 

Seungmin looks forward to having lunch with you in the cafeteria 

At this point, the staff don’t even question your now daily appearance 

You end up falling for Seungmin way faster than you thought possible 

The feeling’s mutual 

He just likes everything about you 

You’re so sweet 

You’re also really caring 

He notices that when you follow him to the practice room where Stray Kids are 

Changbin trips over Hyunjin’s legs 

You’re rushing over to help without any of them really realising it 

He loves how nice your voice is too 

“Can you sing for me?”

You’re shook 

You wonder why he wants to hear your voice specifically

“Your voice is just really nice 

He realises he really likes you when you briefly disturb their practice to give Seungmin lunch 

He briefly mentioned that he forgot his wallet and his lunch 

Since you aren’t an idol or staff

You had to use your own money in the cafeteria 

Seungmin’s heart flips at the realisation 

Ends up asking you out so that you don’t have to spend so much time inside the JYPe building all the time 

Jeongin 

Meets you through Changbin 

You went to the same high school as him and you kinda just stuck around

Changbin brings you to the dorm bcs he borrowed a hoodie 

The entire dorm greets you really brightly 

Jeongin’s the only one just watching in awe 

He’s so shy when you wave at him 

Seungmin notices and raises a brow 

“I-I’m Jeongin” 

“Hi Jeongin! Changbin talks about you guys a lot” 

He’s so nervous 

He wants to know you more, but he also doesn’t want to make it obvious that he’s taking interest in you 

The others don’t really notice because they’re too excited by the new person 

Seungmin, on the other hand, tells Changbin about it 

Changbin now makes it his mission to bring you two together 

He brings you over to the dorm more often 

Especially if Jeongin’s the only one home 

“(Y/n), you’ve met Innie before right?”

You nod

Jeongin’s adorable 

Changbin ends up bringing you over for movie nights 

Now you’re just an honorary member of the group 

Everyone else loves you 

Jeongin always tries to sit next to you during movie nights 

Especially if it’s a horror movie 

When you get scared, you hug his arm and he likes that 

Makes him feel like he’s able to protect you like a big strong man ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

You kinda like him too

So you test the waters around him 

You start talking to him more since Changbin told you he’s really shy 

Jeongin slowly eases into your company 

It takes a bit of time, but he’s started getting more confident around you 

You visit the dorm thinking Changbin’s there because he stole your favourite belt 

When Jeongin opens the door he’s all :D but when you ask where his hyung is he goes D: 

Tells you he’s not home but lets you in anyway 

No one else is home except for Jeongin and Chan 

So you sit in the living room with Innie 

You start talking about random things 

You end up talking about almost everything because it turns out that Changbin’s gone way longer than both of you thought 

Chan eventually emerges from his bedroom and waves at you 

He orders fried chicken for you guys 

You and Jeongin continue talking while eating 

Chan finds it super cute

Jeongin’s playful around you 

But he doesn’t want to make himself appear immature 

But you like when he’s being playful so you slowly ease him into being more comfortable 

He still just wants to impress you so you like him back 

Wait, when did he start liking you??? 

He realised it when you were over for a regular movie night 

You fell asleep in his lap 

Jeongin thought you were so cute 

When you wake up he asks you out 

You accept 

He cuddles you for the rest of the night and asks you to spend the night at the dorm

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[catie-does-things]

Hear me out on this:

300 (2006) - opens with narration/backstory and stylized imagery establishing this story as Spartan propaganda in-universe, a constructed narrative

Watchmen (2009) - opening sequence includes a montage of repeated stylized imagery and explicit media presence establishing themes of perception vs reality and public vs private selves, very clearly framing the narratives the characters tell about themselves as part of the story

Legend of the Guardians (2010) - opens with the young owlets playacting the stories of legendary heroes and arguing about the reality thereof while their father tells them that they can learn from stories, constructed narratives

Sucker Punch (2011) - opens with the main character presented on a literal set/stage and narration about controlling the worlds we create, setting up the movie’s major theme of escapism/empowerment through the use of constructed narratives

Man of Steel (2013) - opens with no establishing narration, title sequence, or overtly stylized imagery of any kind; uses free camera movement and no slow-motion, both of which are stylistic departures for Snyder; overall sets up its story in much more “realistic” terms than any of the other movies

(Zack Snyder did say, while Man of Steel was in production, that it was ironically the most realistic movie he had ever made, even though it was about Superman)

Batman v Superman (2016) - returns to the stylized, slow-mo heavy, exposition montage opening that Snyder prefers, Bruce Wayne’s narration meditates on dreams as “beautiful lies” once again introducing the idea of constructed narratives from a cynical perspective reminiscent of Watchmen - however also ends with a similar sequence of stylized imagery and Bruce offering a perspective of renewed hope, a shift in the narrative away from cynicism towards belief in true goodness, a synthesis of real and ideal rather than a rejection of a “beautiful lie”

What’s the point here? Idk, and I still haven’t watched Dawn of the Dead, but I just find it really interesting how a director who is clearly so aware of the tension between artifice and reality in storytelling/film making and likes to use that tension as a major theme in his work chose to make Superman, whom many see as the most hyper-idealized and unrealistic character in the modern cultural canon, into the icon of the real within his opus, while the cynicism of the “dark n gritty” stories like Watchmen is far more unreal.

[howlingday]

About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

[bondsmagii]

anonymous submitted:

Let's talk about sleep paralysis! I have some wild theories, feel free to believe them or not, but this has been my gatherings after over 15 years of experiences. So - after years of Slffering from it, I've slowly learned how to control my sleep paralysis. I can morph them into cool/interesting incidences now, and have even begun using it as a jumpoff for lucid dreaming. (Disclaimer: Not reccomended if you can't control it yet, please don't try to induce SP unleash you're TOTALLY prepared for it. I don't want anybody to get hurt. And still, I cannot guarantee my own results. This took YEARS of practice.) Anyway, I've found that if you're able to force one small body part to move or jerk your head (repeatedly til it works), you can break out of patalysis at will. It takes some high focus, and becoming conscious of your physical body vs your sleeping self. You CAN move, it's just difficult. Jerk your head, snap your eyes open, or set an alarm if this planned. You'll feel intense heaviness upon waking and a strange desire to fall right back to sleep, but you'll need to sit up straight and fully wake yourself up to end it, otherwise you'll just resume it as soon as you fall asleep again. There's probably a reason for that, actually. What I may have learned through these trials is that sleep paralysis might just be the nightly beginning of the sleep cycle that we aren't meant to be conscious for. Let me run my theory by you. There was a point in my life where sleep paralysis would occur every single time I slept. Every night, it'd start with a buzzing hum that I'd kind of "melt" into, like tinnitus slowly washing over til it's all you can hear. And suddenly, I can't move. Horrific entities bearing down on me.I don't need to go into detail, you've been there. I didn't understand why, until I slowly realized I'd been conscious of the entire business of falling asleep - and that it was a several-step process. Body falls asleep first, mind follows. That's why most people don't remember the act of falling asleep and just seem to become conscious in dreams once they've already begun without you. You're paralyzed because your body is dreaming and you aren't supposed to be conscious yet. It's perhaps a REM stage that's supposed to be painless, nothing. I tested this theory by forcing myself to be calm through my nightly episodes. They would happen regardless, so I may as well try to make them less horrific, right? I would slow my heart rate using breathing exercises. I observed what was happening rather than panicking, and noticed that crushing weight on my chest slowly shift into this peaceful, almost pleasant sinking-down feeling. Like heavy water pulling you down, like a cool blanket of static coccooning around you. And sink down I did - right through this strange buzzing dark haze and directly into dreams. Most of them starting lucid. I was completely conscious of them, sometimed even seeing the dream world "load in" and fill in textures and buildings and skyline. It was surreal. I tested this over and over, and every time got the same result. If I "survived" the paralysis and just calmed, I'd drop into dreams. Sometimes I'd litrrally feel myself sink into my bed, going "below" consciousness. Soon I mapped out the enitirety of the process. Waking, pre-sleep imaginings, those imaginings getting surreal as my brain drifted, static hum overtaking, the ordeal of paralysis, and then I'd sink into what I began calling "The Platform". It was this shifting midpoint between dream-awake where it'd allow me to choose my own dreams. Sometimes I'd see dreams floating movie-like in bubbles at the edge of a void, sometimes I'd see a hall of doors, sometimes I'd literally land on a platform and build dreams from nothing, sometimes I'd fall straight through the void and start the dream flying. Now, as an aside, I am someone who experiences chronic nightmares. Almost all of my dreams have some "horror" element to them, to the point where I've learned to forcibly wake myself up by snapping my "real" physically eyes open. Now I'm overall

able to exert control over them, and overall more conscious of the state of dreaming. I can enjoy them like first-person horror movies and nope the hell out when shit gets too Sideways. The only ones that get me bad now are ones that feel real enough to hurt (real world fears like loved oned dying) ordered ones that deal with a specific phobia that makes me lose my shit. A lot of the method seems to do with "feeling" your real body outside of the dream and understanding that your dream/metaphysical(?) self is a separate entity. I wish I could describe how to do that better - its sort of how you center your body during grounding excersises. Forcing myself awake from nightmares and yanking myself out of sleep paralysis feel extremely similar. I've given myself a sort of Eject Button. Anyhow - I began talking to my SP entities and exerting some gentle control over the whole scene. Changing the power dynamic, de-escalating scary situations by joking with the entities, standing up for myself or catching them off guard. I still get terrifying incidents where I'm attacked or forced to view esoteric horrors, but, well.. I'm a horror movie fan. Sometimes creepy imagery is cool and enjoyable, and now I can cut it off if I want to. I'll even sass them if they get rude. I think I differ in beliefs with you in that I do believe that SP has a spiritual aspect (the same way that dreams do), but I recognize the psychological element as well. I think they go hand in hand, and in finding this I've been able to turn something that was deeply traumatizing into something pretty neat. Thanks for listening, friend. I'm sure this is long and rambling, but I felt like I needed to tell someone, and you seemed like the right person to tell. Be well, I hope you have pleasant dreams, or at least that your nightmares are very cool.

this is actually very impressive, because yeah. this is exactly how and why sleep paralysis happens! I always find it interesting when people arrive at a theory through their own investigation, and it adds up with official findings -- if the time and the place had been a little different, you would have been the person to pioneer the theory! but essentially yes, this is precisely why it happens and why it can be used as a platform for lucid dreaming. when you sleep, your body enters a natural state of paralysis to ensure that you don't injure yourself while sleeping. sometimes this goes wrong, but the usual failure is seen in sleepwalking -- the paralysis stops, the body wakes, the mind does not, and the person wanders around acting out their dreams or perhaps going about their usual morning routine on autopilot.

sometimes, though, it's the other way around. your brain is still awake, but your body is asleep. your dreams translate as vivid hallucinations, you can't move because of the natural paralysis (and this feeling translates itself as a heaviness, especially on the chest, resulting in the all-too-common description sleep paralysis has become known for: the feeling of something sitting or pressing on your chest) and the feeling of dread is likely because of the realisation somewhere deep down that something is very wrong; that you're not supposed to be experiencing this. some people theorise that's why sleep paralysis is overwhelmingly a terrifying event -- rarely do you hear stories of pleasant hallucinations, and this is likely because of the fact we're terrified on some level, aware that something is very unusual. combine this with the fact that sleep paralysis happens to most people only rarely -- once or twice in their lives -- and it's clear that many people don't have the opportunity to understand what happened and become familiar with it.

you're also correct in your observation that moving a small part of the body can snap you out of it. generally it's better to focus on a small part -- moving all of you is too much, but focusing on a small part like a finger or toe is much more effective. it takes a lot of effort, but the effect on the paralysis is instantaneous. the dread and the heavy feeling may take a while to pass, though. another trick to minimise how unpleasant sleep paralysis is is to keep your eyes closed. you can still sense things, and some people might hear things, but overwhelmingly the worst hallucinations are visual. keeping your eyes closed means you at least don't have to see what's crawling up your bed!

I'm like you in the way that I enjoy horror, and I also find sleep paralysis fascinating. now that I know what it is and how to get out of it, I very often just let it run its course -- at least until things get too repetitive or spooky, and then I snap myself out of it. it's absolutely incredible to see what tricks the human mind can play. the hallucinations are so incredibly real, and it's a brilliant opportunity to observe while being in no real danger. only a couple of times have I come across something genuinely paranormal during a sleep paralysis episode -- or what I thought was one, anyway. thankfully it doesn't mimic it exactly, so I can continue to enjoy watching the wild shit my brain comes up with in relative peace.

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[untitledtheunknown]

Not saying you have no reason to feel "bleh", sometimes the brain just insists, but there is so much character in the little snippets and commentary and photos you do. Even if they are similar to other people's (which is really hard not to do), they are so unique to themselves it's absolutely worth it.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon, and can find joy in creating and talking about your boys again ❤

Its late so I'm gonna kinda reply to this with what has been going on on my end and where this funk is coming from. Putting it under a read more to spare everyone, but first and foremost I do appreciate all of you beyond belief for reaching out and having such kind words to say. I know its just a me thing but sometimes it all does just get to me. With that being said, feel free to ignore the whole next bit.

I 100% understand and accept its never going to be completely possible to make completely original characters, especially given the restricted format we have for CP2077. I wish we had more power to craft our characters, more like Fallout 4's character creator (which despite the game's flaws I still go back to just to make characters lol). The problem is I see Valor in game and these screenshots of him and while I do like how he looks... its not him. Not completely. His scars are wrong, he doesn't have his tattoos, hair isn't right, he's missing the ports on his body, and overall things just aren't 100% with him. But despite all that, 3rd time around I think he looks pretty good. Again though am limited to what the game allows so a part of me does get a bit offed when I see other ppls Vs that look a bit too similar. I know its just me, I don't take it to heart, its just upsetting reminder I can't make him look how he's supposed to. Same with Umbra, he looks nothing like how he looks in our TTRPG and it really hurts because I spent a long time making him with our GM and I can't show that. Its not possible in game and my art doesn't do him any justice. So it gets frustrating because I look at some of these guys and they're not my characters, just similar figures to them, but not them.

Which is really hard especially when it comes to Val because long ago he was a self insert that I used to project how I wanted to look. I Have never done well with identifying as trans, I don't like to glamorize it or be recognized for it. I'm saving up for chest surgery but I'm fucking terrified of having the scars. I just don't want to be associated and recognized with it after my transition just because it's been really rough to go through in general. I haven't enjoyed this journey at all really, and really wish I didn't have to go through it. Valor in the RPG was my way of coping and going through stuff. Instead of gender though it was his association with cyberware and having parts of his body and "humanity" removed, replaced with machine and wires. I don't project onto him as much as I once did but he still will and forever hold pieces of that history because that's how I made him.

With all that, all I really do have is my words. Part of the problem with that is there's literally years worth of lore. I've been playing the same campaign with the same group of friends since my freshman year of college. So like 6/7 years now? There's a lot. The issue is these are people I'm really good friends with. This game has become a kind of safe zone for us. We're all a bunch of artist that mainly specialized in horror content. We were part of a movie club that mainly watched horror movies. We're the bitches that watched the Saw series during our free hour in the school library, like we are chill. That also just kinda means there's a lot of dark and twisted subject matter that ends up in our games. Characters having experienced some fucked up shit, witnessed some fucked up shit, and have done some fucked up shit. Feel kinda weird posting or sharing some of the more dark things in detail. So end up watering them down and they don't always feel right.

Top of all that, I just don't have the time to do things I wanna do. I feel so goddamn pressured at home and like I should be doing more. I honestly don't know how half these people have the time to learn and do the amount of mods and edits they do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm envious of it. I get 8-10 hours of being yelled at by customers, and then I may or may not have an hour long drive to take my brother to work or pick him up some days, and then whatever my parents have going on. I want to get back into art, I want to learn 3D modeling, I want to learn how to properly mod but I'm usually so stressed out or just exhausted nothing sticks so I don't even bother really. It sucks, because I want to learn, I want to do things, but I can't. I feel like because I have so little private and personal time now if I can't get things quick enough its not worth the effort. Its frustrating but again that's all on me.

And in other news, lotta people around me are dying or have had family die do to COVID and other things. Earlier this year a close friend of mine lost her dad to COVID and she's still struggling with that. A family friend of ours died earlier this week at the age of 35 from unknown causes. I have another friend who is in the psych ward because he is once again dealing with mental stuff and wellness check did not turn up well. Round it all off, my grandpa has basically given up on his life as well, flat out saying there's nothing worth living for anymore. Given his health issues I know its only a matter of time until I'm saying my final goodbye to him as well. So its rough, and fucking sucks. Not much I can do about it, but it makes me feel fucking worse with my own depression and suicidal thoughts. I know I'd never act on the thoughts, but seeing how death effects those around me makes me feel fucking worse for even thinking about it.

The part that sucks the most about it all, and even something I've expressed to my therapist is I'm completely self aware that its all in my head. I know I can't control these situations, and that skills take time to be acquired and grow. I am so grateful for all friends and support I do have, here, on disco, irl, I see the kind words and love and it really means a lot. I feel like a horrible friend because I don't know what to do really. I know its in my head, and I know what I can and can't control. I know what I need to do, yet I don't feel any better. I feel worse, I feel like I'm distant, and dismissive. I feel like what content I am putting out is stale and boring. I just feel lost and I'm not sure what piece I'm missing to really get things going again. I love my characters, I love making stuff with them. I love the story arch I have for Val and Ker and I want to share all of that with you all. I just feel really weird.

[maskydoolovesmasseffect]

Mass Effect Tag

Wellio, I’ve been tagged by @berryshiara. Passing this on to @grummel83

Gunna answer my questions now. Y’all feel free to tell me what you think of these answers. ​

I’m a fan since: 2008. I was just out of high school and still not over KoTOR. I was fresh in the army and got to talking to some other dude fresh to the army about video games. He asked me if I played Mass Effect. I said no. By the next day I just about totally forgot about him, then he suddenly appeared out of nowhere sat in front of me in the chow hall and pulled a copy of ME1 for Xbox 360 out his pocket like he was a magician doing a magic trick (ACU pockets are huge.)

Anyway turns out that guy was a romance option and I must have picked the right dialogue options. I’m still with him, too.

Favorite game of the series:

Mass Effect 2. It seemed like that’s the one where choices mattered most and you really got to know your squaddies. Also MAJOR gameplay improvements over the first game. And that game gave me the most freedom to do basically whatever I wanted and wasnt afraid to give me consequences for it.

MShep or FShep:

FShep. Nothing against MShep, but for me the real Shep is FShep. Can’t beat Jennifer Hale’s voice. 

Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer:

Colonist. I like having the background of knowing just how dangerous the galaxy can be and how the Alliance can’t be everywhere at once so sometimes you need to manage your best on your own.

Biotics or Tech:

Both.

Paragon or Renegade:

Paragon, mostly. I tried being renegade but some of the actions are just so pointlessly dickish, or even outright unhinged in a way that would make it impossible to believe the Alliance would ever promote Shepard as an officer or even keep her in the Alliance at all, especially in the first game.

That said, there are times where a renegade action is more expedient and practical than a paragon one, like in 2 when you stab a dude in the back to prevent him from repairing an enemy gunship, so even with a paragon playthrough, my Shepard will have no issues taking that opportunity. She’s already seconds away from betraying all those guys anyway.  

Paragon in treatment of others, renegade in combat pragmatism.

Favorite Class:

I play as infiltrator and vanguard.

Infiltrator is great for using a sniping and opening loot, and then for going invisible, and if I remember right AI hacking too. That’s cool and I wish there were more genuine opportunities for stealth.

Nowadays I play as Vanguard in my playthroughs mainly just so my Shepard can be canonically biotic for story reasons. From 2 on when looting no longer needs a special skill and I get to charge around the map. I don’t really care much about using biotics (that’s what the squadies are for) but the movement is super useful (when Shepard actually does the thing instead of just standing out in the open soaking up bullets until the ability decides to actually work.)

Favorite Companion:

Garrus. I like to set him up in sniper positions. When he actually STAYS where I put him instead of running straight up to enemies to try to snipe them at point blank, he’s great.

Also his quips in 2 on are pretty entertaining.

Least Favorite Companion:

Garrus, Oh my god. Go back to the sniper position where I put you. Leave tanking to krogan; you do not have the HP for this.

Also Kaidan in ME1. He can not shoot to save his life - literally.  

My Squad Selection:

For all ME1 playthroughs after my first one, Ashley and Kaidan, just of their comments and because... well... I only have so much time with them.

Apart from that I mainly just pick my team based on who’s likely to have the most interesting commentary on whatever the mission happens to be, squad balance be damned. 

Favorite In-Game Romance:

Garrus X Shepard is my favorite love story. They are just so adorable together and always supportive even when they disagree.

But my cannon romance is Kaidan X Shepard for the drama and angst.

Favorite NPC:

In ME1 there’s this random Turian on Noveria who randomly has like a New York accent and I absolutely adore him. He plays basically no part in the story other than some minor information but he’s just so pleasant to speak to.

“If you need anything, I’ll be here.”

Favorite Antagonist:

Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi daughter of Samara. Yes, she’s a murderous vampire who will absolutely kill you given the chance... but like, it’s a medical condition. And I really can’t help but feel for ardat-yakshi in general when their only options are to spend their whole lives on the run from justicars out to execute them, or waste their entire 1000 year lifespan imprisoned in a monetary unable to experience the world at all. Yeah, Morinth is evil, but Ardat-Yakshi don’t exactly have a good deal.

Favorite Loyalty Mission:

Grunt’s loyalty mission is the best. I get to help my baby boy, reunite with Wrex, enjoy krogan society being fleshed out, have a kickass battle against a thresher maw, and get a breeding request. It’s nice to have a quest that isn’t about family drama and genuinely gets a happy end.

Favorite Mission:

Despite Citadel DLC requiring everyone to have a deathgrip on an idiot ball, and also basically gloss over some really dark stuff, the whole clone storyline with the whole crew is an absolute ride all the way though, with lots of interesting and unique scenarios, a ton of replay-value, and funny party banter that feels like it came straight out of a Marvel movie.

Favorite DLC:

Again, Citadel DLC. Not only did it come with the story above, it also had all those interactions with past and present crewmates, including a memorial for Thane (finally!), a cool apartment to hang out in, a party, an arcade, and an awesome battle arena. It really added a TON. Also, it’s nice to see Bioware figure out that DLC needs characters - I’m remembering back in the DLC to ME 1 the party never had a single thing to say, no matter what was going on. The fun and wacky Citadel DLC is a far cry from the serious and somewhat dark space opera Mass Effect started as, but as the final DLC capping off the end of the series, it gets to do a silly victory lap (and get the taste of the ending out of our mouths.)

Control, Synthesis, Or Destroy:

No.

Favorite Weapon:

Sniper rifles, whatever I have that’s fast and has high damage output. Also that one pistol that shoots tiny energy grenades. Pew pew.

Yeah I wasn’t really big into the weapons so much. I’m here to get my story on. 

Favorite Place:

The presidium on the Citadel. It bothered me a lot when I couldn’t explore it in the second game. I know it would have been terribly impractical, but as the presidium is just a huge ring, it would have been cool to be able to explore the whole thing, going past all the little park areas, shops, monuments and so on until you loop aaaaall the way back around to where you started. Like, how cool would it be if the ring had a running track? Maybe C-sec  academy trainees would be spotted jogging together along it in formation. And can you imagine grabbing a coffee (I was going to make up a space-related name for Starbucks but it’s already STARbucks...) and taking a nice stroll along the water before finding a nice bench to alien-watch from? Other locations in the game are like great places to explore and do gameplay stuff, but the presidium seems like a nice place to just be.

Favorite Quote:

"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik.

This is such a fucking raw damn line. It makes me think a lot about Cerberus. When ME3 wasn’t out yet, I thought maybe the plan was Shepard would at some point choose a side, Alliance for paragons and Cerberus for renegades. It would have been so cool to have morality not merely be good vs evil, but idealism vs that ruthless calculus Garrus mentioned. How fucking raw would it be if Cerberus wasn’t just generically evil for no reason and suddenly indoctrinated but really were embodying that ruthless calculus, determined to defeat the reapers at any and all cost. Maybe Cerberus actions’ were more likely to do terrible things for the sake of ultimate victory, doing whatever it took, whereas the Alliance would be less willing to make the terrible choices and ultimately be less likely to succeed.

Now obviously, that’s not what happened, as it would have required Bioware to basically make two entirely separate games. But that line from Javik makes me think of that concept, and a universe where like Dragon Age party members can approve or disapprove of actions not merely as good or evil but along the lines of their personal values. I think Javik would sit at victory at all cost.

Also that one mission in 2 where some random NPC catches Shepard sneaking around and is all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and Shepard is like ‘What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Get out here before it blows!’ and the guy’s freaking out like WTF and she says ‘RUN!’ then laughs to herself as he flees from an imaginary bomb. Shep you troll. 

The thing I like the least about the entire franchise:

The misogyny and objectification that crept its way in, epically from the second game on. Really didn’t like those ass-shot camera angles, or female characters being slut-shamed in-universe for the clothes the designers made them wear. Yikes. 

But the biggest yikes for me in that regard is actually the reveal in 3 that the prothians guided asari development. That was fine and all, but the part that bothered me was the characters commenting “ooooh, so that’s why asari are so advanced,” as it was ever any kind of mystery before that exact moment. For one thing, asari aren’t really shown as being more advanced than anyone else, apart from having discovered the citadel first, and for second, why wouldn’t asari be advanced? All the way from ME1 it’s established that 1: Asari live for a really long time, and 2: can instant transmit information directly from brain to brain. That means they have long lifetime in which to accumulate knowledge and experience, and also can easily spread and preserve that knowledge without even the need for books. That ALONE should put them ahead. And even with all that, they only barely beat the salarians to discovering the Citadel first. But no one asks for an explanation for why salarians, who live only a few decades and can’t do mental data-transfer, are so advanced. No, only the success of the all-women race needs explaining. It was just one moment but it still bugs me. 

Also the general loss of realism after the second game. First game everyone gets armor, including full-face helmets automatically on in environments that need it. After that, people can apparently just wander the battlefield half-naked and even somehow survive in a total vacuum if they just put a plastic cup (that isn’t even connected to anything) over their mouth and nose. In the first game they at least made up some reasonable-sounding science fiction explanation for things, but after that it’s like F-it everything is just space magic now. 

Oh, and those repetitive unlocking stuff minigames. I use a mod to just skip those.