#this is like when you google if its safe for your dog to like. eat a french fry
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marsixm · 7 months ago
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i kind of understand sometimes why older people have a hard time adapting to new technology and ways of doing things like im only 28 and constantly having to remind myself googling fucking sucks now lmao
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dandelionsresilience · 2 months ago
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whether the internet becomes an intolerable surveillance state, ubiquitous subscription model, or unusably ad- or AI-ridden shithole, I think we need to remember
how to do things offline
either on your personal hard drive (just because it’s an app doesn’t mean the information is stored in your device) or on paper. I’m not saying the collapse of the internet is imminent, and I’m not suggesting we do everything completely without technology, or even stop using it until we have to. (to be clear, I also don’t think the internet will just blink out of existence, suddenly stop being a thing at all; rather I think it might continue to lose its usefulness to the point where it’s impossible to get anything done. anyway) but some people may have forgotten how we got by before the internet (I almost have!), and the younger generation might not have experienced it at all.
I figure most people probably use the internet mainly for communication with friends and family, entertainment and creation (eg. writing), and looking up how to do things, so here’s how to do those things offline:
First and most importantly, download everything important to you onto at least one hard drive and at least one flashdrive! files can get corrupted and hardware can get damaged or lost, but as long as you keep backup copies, you have much-closer-to-guaranteed access versus hoping a business doesn’t decide to paywall, purge, or otherwise revoke your access. I would recommend getting irreplaceable photos printed as well
download and/or print/write down:
anything important to you - photos/videos, journals, certificates, college transcripts
contact info - phone numbers and/or addresses of friends/family (know how to contact them if you can’t use your favourite messaging app), doctors (open hours would be good too), veterinarians if you have pets, and work
how-to’s - recipes (one, two), emergency preparedness (what do I do if… eg. I smell gas)
other things you might google: cleaning chemicals to NOT mix, what laundry tag symbols mean, people food dogs and cats can and can’t eat, plant toxicity to pets
and know offline ways to find things out - local radio station, newspaper, a nearby highway rest area might have a region map, public libraries usually have a bunch of resources
also, those of you who get periods should strongly consider not using period tracking apps! here’s how to track your period manually
free printable period tracker templates (no printer? public libraries usually charge a few cents per page, or you can recreate it by hand)
moving on to entertainment, you can still get most media for free! it’s completely legal to download your favourite movies to your own personal hard drive, you just can’t sell or distribute copies (not legal advice)
movies: wcostream.tv (right click the player) - the url changes every once in a while but usually redirects; I recently noticed that it’s hiding a lot of movies behind “premium,” so it may or may not work anymore | download youtube videos
music: how to get music without streaming it | legal free downloads
games: steamunlocked.net - doesn’t have every game and can be slow to update, but very reliable
books: free online libraries | legal free downloads
otherwise passing time:
active outdoor games
for road trips (social verbal games)
for when power’s out
for sheltering in place (not all offline, but good ideas)
board games (often found at thrift stores)
ad-free customisable games collection (mobile)
read, write, draw, or whatever your craft is, sing, dance, clean, reorganise, take a bath
go outside - excuses include napping (if safe), eating, reading, finding cool plants/animals/rocks, playing with the dog
places to go include:
zoos and museums can be surprisingly cheap
parks and nature preserves
library, mall, or game shop
and a few miscellaneous things for good measure:
time budgeting | household management
how to use a planner | I’ve had success with visually blocked-out schedules like these
please add on if you have any other offline alternatives to common uses of the internet!
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rottenpumpkin13 · 5 months ago
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HAHHAHA! Nothing’s stopping me from doing it TWICE!
BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out 💕
(Bc you deserve a million of these, seriously!! But I will also send an ask to not waste your time x,D)
What are AGSZC’s YouTube search histories? >:3c
I've been wanting to tell you this for the longest time: the cable protector for my laptop charger is a Pikachu! It often kills my writer's block because I can feel its (positive) judgmental stare whenever I don't write. A+ involuntary Pichu motivation! Unfortunately I glanced at the ask this morning and completely mistook the question while I was drafting it at work
( ╥ ᴗ ╥) I unhelpfully present you:
AGSZC Google Search Histories
CLOUD:
• What to do if being stalked
• What to do if being stalked by dead man
• What to do if being stalked by dead man and mother
• Writhe meaning
• What does it mean when someone says writhe for me
• Was Sephiroth queer when he was alive
• How to talk to people without making it awkward
• Why is my memory poor
• How to tell woman I love her
• How to kill someone once and for all
• How to be a good puppet~
• HOW TO STOP MIND CONTROL IMMEDIATELY
GENESIS:
• Who would win in a fight Genesis or Sephiroth
• Genesis Rhapsodos aesthetic
• How to bully people in a goddess honoring way
• Genesis Rhapsodos video compilations
• Cowboys
• Where to rent horse
• Is Masamune heavier than Rapier
• Masamune weight
• How to fix a broken sword
• Super glue strong enough to hold sword together
• How to hide broken sword from friend
• Sephiroth sword replica for sale
• Where to buy replica of Sephiroth's sword
• How to convince a friend their sword was always broken
• Can a sword just break on its own
• Sephiroth x reader fanfiction
• Logical reasons for sword to break on its own
• Acting tips for looking surprised
• How to gaslight your friend
• How to deflect blame in conversation
• How to avoid eye contact when lying
• How to create a distraction during a confrontation
• How to flee the country
SEPHIROTH:
• Benefits of owning a cat
• Sephiroth costume
• BDSM meaning
• Name for device that extinguishes fire
• Fire extinguisher for sale
• Haunted by the faces of people long gone what do I do
• How to stop sitting on my hair
• Am I gay quiz
• Angeal Hewley shirtless
• What does it mean when you dream about being held by blue alien mother
• How to dream about blue alien mother more often
• Situations where it is appropriate to say fuck
• Can I say fuck randomly
• Where to look for items when you misplace them
• Where could I have misplaced my sword
• How to donate effectively to social causes
• Videos of people crying in regret after cutting their hair
• Can you consume a salt lamp
• DTF meaning
• Milf meaning
• Slang terms to use to sound normal
• Silly cat videos
• Why is piracy wrong
• Free movies watch online HD
• How to make protein shake taste like pasta
• Am I depressed quiz
• Spaghetti recipe
• How to put out kitchen fire
• How to remove spaghetti from ceiling
ZACK:
• Sephiroth bald
• can you die from licking batteries
• can you die from inhaling cheese puff dust
• Apple bottom jeans
• boots with the fur
• Reebok's with the straps
• Why does my husband look at other women
• Is it safe to eat pinecones
• Are moogles real
• How to befriend a moogle
• Can you die from licking hair gel
• What are the implications of string theory for quantum gravity in multidimensional spacetime
• Sephiroth x Genesis Rhapsodos fics
• How to explode things using mind
• Cool dog collar jewelry
• Cool dog collar jewelry SFW
• Sunflower tattoo
• Is it normal to kiss your friends
• How to kiss friends in a bromance way
• How to tell if I'm psychic
• Intersectional feminism
ANGEAL:
• Empanada recipe
• Where to hypothetically hide a body
• Tzatziki recipe
• Signs you're in a polycule
• Am I in a polycule how to tell
• Is it normal to plan your own funeral ahead of time
• Valid coupons printable
• Is it normal to vent to your houseplants about your problems
• Used dog cage for sale
• How to make friend realize that dreaming of blue alien mother isn't normal
• How to approach fact that friend needs therapy in conversation
• How to fix sword in case it ever breaks randomly
• Good gifts for teenagers with ADHD
• Chainsaw for sale
• Is a chainsaw a good gift
• Why am I so tired all the time
• Why is it that every time you search something online the internet makes you think you have an incurable disease
• Fun team building activities
• How to convince coworkers that trust falls are safe
• How to stop bleeding fast
• Encouraging words to calm down panicking crowd
• paramedic number
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theburrowsgarden · 7 months ago
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Pest Control
If you Google “field mice”, some of the top results you will get are related to pest control. Roaches, crickets, prairie dogs–most people see these things in their home or garden and beeline straight to the pest control section of Home Depot. There are multitudes of options out there for getting rid of these common household pests, many of which are chemical. These products may be advertised as safe around children and pets, but are they safe around the ecosystem? If burrowing owls are your thing–or owls in general!–you may want to double-think grabbing the nearest can of bug spray.
Pesticides can have a more profound effect on predatory bird populations than on the prey that they eat. It makes sense, if you think about it: one mouse may have a small amount of contaminant in its system, but raptors don’t just eat one mouse, much like you can’t just eat a single Pringle®. By eating more and more of these contaminated mice, their predators suffer from rising levels of poisons being metabolized in their system. This can be especially bad for burrowing owls, since they are known to occasionally scavenge for food¹; a rodent that had died from a lethal dose of agricultural pesticides could look like an easy take-out meal for burrowing owls.
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Once you pop, you can’t stop (please don't sue me Pringles). Credit to Jeff Strong of Bear River Blogger.
The fact that burrowing owls are pretty tolerant of urban environments also brings them closer to common pesticides used in our attempts to get rid of rats. A huge number of owls in urban environments have traces of anticoagulant rodenticides in their systems, and, concerningly, we don’t really know how much they can tolerate before it becomes too toxic for them to handle, or how these rodenticides will affect their populations.² These chemicals are also persistent, staying in the environment for long periods of time. Although not the primary cause of death, a concerning amount of rodenticide was found in Flaco the Eurasian eagle owl’s blood after he passed away after having been released from Bronx Zoo from vandals and free-roaming for just one year.³
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Flaco the Eurasian eagle owl. We miss you, buddy! Credit to Seth Wenig of the Associated Press.
So, it’s obvious that using traditional pesticides can be very harmful to burrowing owls and other predatory raptors. That being said, you might still have an issue with pests in your yard and your home. What are some alternative options? Well, I will preface by saying this: there is no “one size fits all” solution, and many forms of pest management that do not involve chemical pesticides take time to develop. If they don’t work out for you, or if you feel like chemical pesticides can tide you over while you develop less toxic pest control measures, be sure to visit the Environmental Protection Agency’s Do’s and Don’ts of Pest Control for tips on how to minimize potential risk to yourself and your environment. However, if you do decide to go the alternative route, remember that, in the end, you will be creating your own personal habitat, resilient against not only pests, but resilient against disease and climate change as well.
One method you may want to consider, especially for insects, is companion planting. Though research on how companion planting works is still in its infancy and generally focused on large agriculture, the concepts can still be applied.⁴ By incorporating plants that attract the natural predators for pests into your garden, you will be able to naturally deter and diminish the pest population.
When it comes to the bigger stuff, like field mice, rats, moles, or gophers, there are a lot of simple, nonlethal ways to prevent them from finding a tasty snack in your garden without outright eliminating them from your local ecosystem. After all, their presence is beneficial to the environment, by stirring up the soil and improving its quality as well as creating homes for native wildlife, such as burrowing owls.⁵ One of the easiest, “set it and forget it” type options available may be using a wire mesh basket, often called “gopher baskets”, to put the roots of your plants in as you plant them. These can protect the main body of your plant while allowing for growth and, most importantly, still allowing burrowing critters to do their thing!
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An example of a large gopher basket to protect a tree sapling. It’s like a cute little prison for trees! Credit to Deanne Talerico of Homestead and Chill, here is a link to her instructions on how to make these yourself!
This is a particularly short list of actions you can take to make your garden a little more critter-friendly. For more specific information that may be more relevant to the ecosystem you live within, look out for workshops and classes on gardening in your local area! Often run by community centers, these types of gatherings are a great way to connect with other gardeners and share tips on how to make a more sustainable, eco-friendly habitat.
¹Klute, D., Ayers, L., Green, M., Howe, W., Jones, S., Shaffer, J., Sheffield, S., & Zimmerman, T. (2003). Status assessment and conservation plan for the western burrowing owl in the United States. United States Fish and Wildlife: Staff Publications. http://digitalcommons.unl.edu/usfwspubs/483
²Gomez, E. A., Hindmarch, S., & Smith, J. A. (2021). Conservation letter: Raptors and anticoagulant rodenticides. Journal of Raptor Research, 56(1). https://doi.org/10.3356/jrr-20-122
³Hutchinson, B. (2024, March 25). Zoo releases final necropsy results on Flaco the owl’s death. ABC News; ABC News. https://abcnews.go.com/US/zoo-releases-final-necropsy-results-flaco-owls-death/story?id=108479170
⁴Saldanha, A. V., Gontijo, L. M., Carvalho, R. M. R., Vasconcelos, C. J., Corrêa, A. S., & Gandra, R. L. R. (2019). Companion planting enhances pest suppression despite reducing parasitoid emergence. Basic and Applied Ecology, 41, 45–55. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.baae.2019.10.002
⁵Davidson, A. D., Detling, J. K., & Brown, J. H. (2012). Ecological roles and conservation challenges of social, burrowing, herbivorous mammals in the world’s grasslands. Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment, 10(9), 477–486. https://doi.org/10.1890/110054
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sosos-adventures · 8 months ago
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General impressions about Vietnam so far:
1: the traffic. People mostly get around by using a scooter. They sont care about crosswalks, the mostly care about traffic lights though. But if you cross a road and a scooter wants to turn right, they will. So alway look out for them. To survive, just confidently cross the road and NEVER walk backwards. So as a pedestrian its ok to get along. Biking in big cities I would not recommend. In smaller cities like Hoi An it works quite well. Just go with the flow, dont hesitate and just bike confidently enough to seem like you know what you are doing. Funfact: our bikes here in Hoi An dont really have breaks. So having to suddenly stop because a scooter is crossing your way is not as easy and probably looks super funny to our surrounding.
2: traffic part 2. When checking google maps, you can see that distances like 30km take over an hour by car/bus. The roadnetwork is not as good as others and generally there is so mich traffic that there is no chance to get somehwere fast. Sadly there are also almost no local buses to find online. If you plan on visiting cool sightseeing spots like My Son for example, you have to book an "expensive" shuttle. Tahts how we lost a lot of money already. Also in Vietnam google maps doesnt have the symbol for bikes. Instead you see the symbol for motorbikes. So whenever we take the bike we have no idea how long we actually need to get from A to B.
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3: Dogs everywhere. No matter where you go, in every street you can find some dogs. Not the bigger ones. Usually there are many smaller dogs. We dont know if they are stray dogs or belong to someone. Its really interesting to see how they behave so differently based on the city. In Mui Ne for example the dogs were super protective about their street and barked a lot. In Hoi An there are so many dogs but they dont bark, they dont run around mich. They just sit in their street and look at us. We thought people might drug them so they are calm.
4: trash. We knew that visiting an asian country will be very different to what we are used to when it comes to trash. People use plastuc bags for EVERYTHING. Even the tiniest thing comes with a plastic bag. The streets have lots of garbage bags around and trash at the sidewalks which isnt that bad actually. More frustrating is the fact that novody seems to care about what happens with the trash. In Hoi An every night people sell little paper lanterns with candles in it to the tourist to put them in the river for some nice light shows. They burn down and float with the river somewhere or are washed up. Also whats up with these trash cans here in Ho An? Just for tourists?
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5: restaurants. There are so many touristic places you can eat food. More expensive ones and cheaper ones where apparently locals also eat. We tried some different kinds of restaurants and usually they serve all types of food. From local disheds to american burgers, italian pizza etc. Even the smalles resgaurants have a huge variety of food. How do they prepare all of these different types of food in just one small kitchen? Still strabge to us. But at least we are getting better at finding cheap restaurants to eat at where they serve lots of local dishes to try for just 2-3€ a meal. Sadly most of the food is not vegetarian. It tastes really good but its hard to find veggie meals.
6: healthy stomach: the myth about ice cubes and raw veggies. I have been to Asia before and learned not to drink tap water, drinks with ice in it, nor to eat raw veggies or salad. We were super careful the first 3 days and kept seeing other tourists eating salad, veggies and drinking the water they offer you in the restaurant. Google told us that its safe to drink drinks with ice cubes that have a hole in it because they are manifactured. On our day trip to the Mekong Delta we met 2 other Germans who told us that they so far have eaten and drunk everytjing without any consequences. So now we are starting to relax a little more and risk it. Lets see how that will go.
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superfuxkinghungry · 11 months ago
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People who think that being vegan is a personal choice (How dumb could you possibly be to think that contributing to the torturing, abusing, neglecting, and depriving an animal of its ability to nurture its kids, and very unnecessarily prolonging their death by slitting their necks while they're possibly still alive "a personal choice"!???) are selfish fucks who forget that animals feel the exact same pain we do and have literal emotions just like us (sadness, pain, love, happiness, care, fear, terror, depression, etc.) and who don't realize the gravity of their decisions to contribute to the supply and demand of products coming from suffering and murder that they greedily feed on, put on/in their bodies, or test on their skin. There's a LOT of things that a lot of people will be surprised aren't vegan. A simple google search will do you well by showing you if a product isn't vegan or is and what REALLY happens in slaughterhouses that kill animals "humanely" which BTW is bullshit everywhere. Killing an animal for food, testing, clothes, medicine, or any other purpose is not humane AT ALL. Its so gross! if you cared enough about animals to determine if a product is vegan or not before buying you could make a difference! Please, don't keep ignoring the cruelty, agony, mental torture, sadness and fear these innocents have to go through on the DAILY before their eventual murder that by the way isn't "fast and painless". If you wouldn't let your family member, friend, or partner suffer in a slaughterhouse, or wouldn't eat them, why would you let a helpless animal suffer and be cooked for dinner? Just search what happens to these sweet, loving, and desparate helpless souls in reality, behind the scenes of the fake ass ads and labels. It's SO fuckin terrifying and horrible. Your burger, TV dinner, your couch, boots, bearskin rug, hot dog, cosmetic, and so much more products that are made with either carcasses, animal byproducts, animal products, or animal testing, (or a mixture of each) really isn't worth the lives and suffering of so many animals globally AT ALL!!! and you can certainly get healthy and be strong and energetic with plant nutrients! (There's also lots of benefits to not eating animal products and sticking to the power of plants!💓) By the way, drinking, promoting and buying dairy also contributes to the killings of male calves for veal and the rape of mother cows to keep them pregnant so they can keep producing the milk we like to put in our cereal, sauce, that big brands like Johnson&Johnson add to lotion [btw they use animal testing!!! Not a safe brand] or what dessert places add to ice cream. Nasty, right!! Oh, and you know what happens to the mother when shes not able to produce milk anymore after being repeatedly raped and forced to get pregnant? She gets MURDERED slowly for meat. (We drink milk that wasnt even for us, but for cow's babies! How would you feel if your mother was raped to impregnation constantly so her tits could be milked by animals, so random animals could drink her milk not caring about the suffering and rape she has to go through!!!?? and her babies arent even able to drink their mother's milk that was literally meant for THEM and THEM only to drink due to the consumer, government and workers' selfishness!?? Uncomfortable, right? Humans are so selfish fuck oh and by the way the cow gets taken from their mother after birth and yes the cows feel devastated and sad over the fact they can't even be with their family yes they have feelings you selfish carnies) Its always amazing to search if the product you want to buy is vegan and isnt made with any cruelty and evil! Veganism rules!!! FUCK THE GOVERNMEMT AND CAPITALISM LET THE ANIMALS ROAM FREELY LIKE THEY WERE MEANT TO! WE'LL NEVER STOP FIGHTING FOR THEM!!!!💓💓💓💓
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weirdnaturalscience · 5 years ago
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Well-Known and Obscure Toxins: How They Work
Well this is a morbid subject but HEY it’s almost Halloween baby!! I was super curious about what toxins actually do on a molecular level after reading about cone snails. Obviously toxins can kill you, but how?? I wanted to know the grisly details. This is not an exhaustive list, just some types of poison, venom, and other toxic substances I was curious about, so let’s get to it.
Deadly Nightshade
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Where is it found? Atropa belladonna grows in Europe, North Africa and Western Asia.
How it works: speeds up your heart and generally fucks with your nervous system. Deadly nightshade contains tropane alkaloids atropine, hyoscine (scopolamine), and hyoscyamine which disrupt the nervous system’s ability to regulate activities such as heart rate, breathing and sweating. It can cause narcosis, paralysis and heart failure as a result. Yikes. But an antidote exists that can reverse these affects if administered in time.
Toxicity: the entire plant is toxic, with roots having the highest toxicity but berries posing the greatest threat to humans because of their appearance. 10-20 berries can kill an adult, and 2-4 can kill a child. Symptoms of mild poisoning include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, loss of balance, confusion, hallucinations (wild) and convulsions. Doesn’t sound like a good time.
Do not eat the shiny attractive berries!!! (Cows and rabbits and other animals can eat it but humans, dogs and cats...NOT SO MUCH) You can also get toxins on your skin just by touching the plant but this will not kill you.
Totally fun and not morbid fact: during the Renaissance, belladonna was used by women in small quantities to dilate pupils and give a seductive appearance, and this is how it gets its name belladonna, or beautiful woman. Atropa comes from the Greek Fate Atropos who cuts the threads of mortal lives with her shears. Snip snip!
Hemlock
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Where is it found? Conium maculatum grows naturally in Europe and North Africa, and has spread to North and South America, Australia and Western Asia.
How it works: stops your breathing. The flowers contain an alkaloid called coniine, which directly affects the nervous system and causes paralysis of respiratory muscles, leading to death from oxygen deprivation. Hemlock poisoning is treated by artificial ventilation for 48-72 hours until the effects wear off.
Toxicity: about 100 milligrams of coniine is fatal to an adult. That’s about 6-8 hemlock leaves, or a smaller dose of the seeds or root. Animals can also be poisoned and killed by hemlock, but luckily dangerous substances cannot be passed into the human food chain from milk or fowl. Similar to nightshade, you can get a non-lethal amount of the toxin on your skin simply from touching this plant.
Basically you’re only gonna get poisoned by this if someone puts it in your tea, because I assume you’re not gonna just go around just like...chomping on pretty flowers. Right? Right?? ok good.
Arsenic
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Where is it found? arsenic is a metalloid that occurs often with sulfurs and metals. It can be present in volcanic ash and groundwater, and as a result can be found in low (acceptable) levels in plants and seafood. Good news: it is rare to find arsenic occurring at dangerous levels in nature.
How it works: in high levels, arsenic disrupts ATP production and causes organ failure due to necrotic cell death. This process can last between 2 hours to multiple days. It can also be fatal in lower doses administered over a period of time, and as such, was a popular murder weapon when it was readily available during the 1800s in England. Symptoms such as vomiting and diarrhea don’t immediately alert someone that there has been an attempted murder unless maybe you’re Sherlock Holmes.
Toxicity: google probably thinks I’m a murderer and won’t tell me just how much arsenic will kill a person. COME ON, google!!! it’s for SCIENCE!
Arsenic is no longer readily available for people to just get in large quantities, so that’s a RELIEF.
Cyanide
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Where is it found? cyanide is a chemical compound produced by certain algae, bacteria and fungi. It is also found in plants such as peaches, apples, apricots and bitter almonds. A type of bamboo that grows in Madagascar is so rich in cyanide that it would kill humans, but not the golden bamboo lemur for whom this bamboo is a primary source of food!!! You go girl, eat that cyanide bamboo.
How it works: for everyone who’s not a golden bamboo lemur, cyanide disrupts ATP production, affects the central nervous system and heart, and causes histotoxic hypoxia: the inability of cells to take up oxygen from the bloodstream. Antidotes can work if administered in time for lower doses of cyanide.
Toxicity: 200 milligrams of solid cyanide or a cyanide solution, or exposure to airborne cyanide of 270 parts per million is sufficient to cause death within minutes. Um, YIKES. Really, cyanide was already scary enough as a solid before nature went and made it into a gas that kills upon inhalation. DEEPLY uncool.
Murder mystery writers: slip belladona or arsenic into your literary victim’s tea. Belladonna is sweet, arsenic is tasteless, but cyanide has an acrid and bitter taste.
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Fun (well, not fun) fact: if you eat 200 apple seeds (about 40 apple cores) you will receive a fatal dose of cyanide. So like, don’t do that. An apple a day keeps the doctor away and is completely safe, but 40 apples apple cores a day WILL KILL YOU
Vampire Bat Saliva
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Where is it found? Vampire bats are found in the Americas.
How it works: a toxic substance called Draculin (I’m serious) in the saliva of vampire bats acts as an anticoagulant by inhibiting an enzyme involved in the coagulation pathway.
Toxicity: vampire bats are indeed venomous and toxic, but they are not at all lethal. It just sorta sucks if you’re being bitten by a vampire bat, but you’ll live. Unless that bat has rabies. Vampire bat saliva also contains an analgesic, meaning the bites are almost completely painless. SO THAT’S SOMETHING
Cobra Venom
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“hello do you have a moment to hear about cell death?”
Where is it found? Many species of cobra are found throughout Africa, Southwest and Southeast Asia.
How it works: most cobra venom includes neurotoxins that cause paralysis as well as cytotoxins that cause necrosis and blood coagulation. blood coagulation can happen in minutes.
Toxicity: many types of cobra venom are treatable, but may leave disfigurement from necrosis. If this isn’t scary enough for you, just know that spitting cobras can reach 2.7 m (8.9 ft) in length and like to aim for the eyes.
But you’d still rather be bitten by a cobra than THIS deadly mofo:
Venom of the Inland Taipan
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Where is it found? the inland taipan is the most venomous snake in the world and lives, YOU GUESSED IT, in Australia, ie the place where everything is designed to kill you. Evolution decided it can reach 1.8 meters (5.9 feet) with a maximum length of 2.5 meters (8.2 feet), which I think everyone can agree is a dick move on evolution’s part. Take it back, TAKE IT BACK!!!!!
How it works: the venom contains neurotoxins, hemotoxins, and myotoxins AND an enzyme to increase absorption of the venom. Basically it causes paralysis, blood coagulation and muscle damage, because one of these things wasn’t enough apparently. Antivenoms against Australian venomous snakes exist but are least effective against the venom of the inland taipan.
Toxicity: the inland taipan’s venom has a murine LD50 value of 0.025m/kg. This means there is a 50% chance that .025 milligrams per kilogram of weight will cause death. It’s bite contains enough venom to kill at least 100 adult humans. But GOOD NEWS! the inland taipan lives in such remote places that it rarely comes in contact with people. Other slightly less venomous snakes are therefore responsible for more deaths. ....So that’s...still terrifying. just don’t go into the woods in Australia FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
What’s deadlier than the deadliest snake in the world, you ask?
Tetrodotoxin
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Where is it found? tetrodotoxin is found in several animals such as pufferfish, moon snails and the small but deadly Australian blue ringed octopus (DAMMIT Australia)
How it works: blocks sodium channels. This prevents normal transmission of signals between the body and brain, causing loss of sensation, paralysis and inability to breathe. Fun!!! Don’t pick up the frickin evil little octopus
Toxicity: more powerful than cyanide, that’s for sure, about a thousand times more powerful in fact. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice as 334 micrograms per kilogram. Fatal pufferfish poisoning result in death in about 17 minutes. The blue-ringed octopus, however, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within just a few minutes. There is no anti-venom.
What’s worse than that, you ask? Ah, you shouldn't have asked.
Conotoxin
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Where is it found? Cone snails are found in the Indo-Pacific, the Cape of South Africa, the Mediterranean, and even southern California. Smaller species are not that dangerous. Larger species, however...
How it works: paralysis within minutes. cone snails have multiple harpoons to administer venom to prey (or unsuspecting humans). the harpoons deliver a venom that has HUNDREDS of different types of toxins, each targeting different nerve channels or receptors. Some cone snail venom even includes pain-reducing toxins. These pain reducing toxins can be 100 to 1,000 times more powerful than morphine. How THOUGHTFUL.
Toxicity: vastly more potent than tetrodotoxin. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice is is 10 to 100 micrograms/kilogram. So like, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT LOL
Ricin
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Where is it found? Ricin is obtained from the beans of the castor oil plant.
How it works: inhibits protein production and results in organ failure, respiratory failure and circulatory shock.
Toxicity: The median lethal dose (LD50) of ricin is around 22 micrograms per kilogram of body weight. If that sounds bad just wait till you hear about poison dart frogs 😭
VX
Where is it found? Nowhere in nature. VX is synthetic. It is an oily amber colored liquid in its natural form, was first developed as a pesticide and later for chemical warfare. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and is banned under the Chemical Weapons Convention of 1993.
How it works: causes stimulation and fatigue of muscarinic and nicotinic ACh receptors, resulting in violent contractions followed by paralysis and death by asphyxiation.
Toxicity: 7 micrograms/kilogram. this is one of the most toxic synthetic substances on earth. Humans have got nothing on mother nature though...
Batrachotoxin
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(This guy is called phyllobates TERRIBILIS. but is his cute little face terrible? noooo.)
Where is it found? in certain types of beetles, birds and poison dart frogs found in Central and South America.
How it works: similar to conotoxin, batrachotoxin interrupts sodium channels. The resulting migration of Na+ ions causes heart failure and paralysis.
Toxicity: The LD50 is around 2 micrograms per kilogram, meaning that an amount the size of two grains of table salt will kill you, and that this is even worse than a cone snail, Ricin, or VX. Batrachotoxin is one of the deadliest alkaloids known. No antidote exists.
Fun frog fact: this was the poison commonly used by the Embera-Wounaan for poison darts, and that’s where poison dart frogs get their name! How...cute.
Botulinum, most toxic substance in the world
Where is it found? made by the bacteria Clostridium botulinum and related species.
How it works: causes Botulism, which if untreated can result in paralysis and respiratory failure by preventing the release of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Botulinum is used in very very very VEEEEEEERY small amounts in Botox, in case you ever needed reasons NOT to do Botox lol.
Toxicity: the lethal dose of 1.3–2.1 nanograms per kilogram in humans. of any toxin natural or synthetic, this is the deadliest known. However!! Actual good news this time: treatments involving antitoxin therapy and intubation are very successful and mortality from Botulism is extremely low. Yay! 
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More good news: toxins have been instrumental in medicinal breakthroughs throughout history and continue to be vital to modern medicine. A drug for diabetes was recently synthesized from Gila monster venom: it increases the production of insulin when blood sugar levels are high. A painkiller has been developed for chronic pain patients that is derived from a component of the venom of our friend, you guessed it, the cone snail! These are just two examples of toxins being used in medicine, and a lot of research is still being done because face it: we still don’t know a lot about how our bodies work. Paralyzing agents are extremely important to our understanding of the body and the development of non-opiate non-addictive painkillers because of how they disrupt signals between nerves and the brain.
Long story short: don’t eat nightshade and stay OFF AUSTRALIAN BEACHES and you should be just fine. 
Oh and your tea is getting cold ;)
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quantumlocked310 · 3 years ago
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In the Bed of Love - Chapter 2
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Moodboard by the incredible @flowers-in-your-hayr!!
It’s Chapter 2! This one switches POV to Hvitty’s favorite Gorgon.
Summary: Our intrepid Hero Hvitserk, burdened with glorious purpose to prove his godhood, takes the epic journey to slaughter the Gorgons, but stumbles in love along the way.
Warnings (so far): greek mythology inaccuracies, slow burn 
Ratings + Word Count: [General - 1,765w]
Series Masterlist (contains extra notes about Greek words and some of the Gods mentioned) Now with more Gods!
Extra Relevant Note: Malakas means Asshole in Greek (according to Google Translate)
++++++++++++
The early dawn is quiet, with dew glistening off the statues in the garden, and you’re the first awake in the house. As usual you walk quietly to the dresser where you get the silk robe gifted to you from Dionysus. Enrobed you walk down to the kitchen where you take a small cup of wine and yesterday’s bread out to the garden for breakfast.
There are a few stumps scattered amongst the statues, and you sit on the one closest to one of your favorite statues. Malakas the goose, who thought himself brave one day as he bit the ankles of your sister, Sten. You and Marmor had collapsed together laughing at the swiftest of you being chased at length by the ornery goose. Sten had yelled and screamed at it, to no avail, before finally giving in and glaring it to stone, and proclaiming his name Malakas.
“Good morning, friend.” You greet the goose and pat it on the head, but notice there’s something different about him today. Inside its mouth is a piece of paper, slightly crumpled, with ink on it. You look at it puzzled, then look around the garden a little, but see no one. After dipping your bread in the wine and taking a bite, you put the cup on the stump and grab the paper. Only to immediately start coughing.
It’s a crude drawing of you standing in offense with your shield. Clearly, the artist has no skill, but it’s obvious the figure is yours both in size and you’re the only one of your sisters who can carry a shield as big as this one. You’re a little flattered, and a little suspicious. The gorgons train together every evening, but this paper wasn’t in the goose’s mouth yesterday.
After finishing the bread and wine, while staring at the drawing, a million thoughts run through your head. Foremost concern for your security, and who could be watching. The gorgons were fearsome creatures, and that attracted idiots who wished to prove themselves against a mighty foe. Hence the many armored statues around you. Then curiosity, and why this person would focus on you. Once your foes reached your gates, they usually focussed on the muscular strength of Marmor, or the svelt speed of Sten, not the chunky bulk of your body made for sturdy defence. It was useful in battle, being underestimated. But it was never an advantage for love.
Sten didn’t care about copulation or partnership, and Marmor had a sometimes-something going on with Haphaestus. You loved your sisters, and you loved your life in the Oikos, but there were days when you wanted what Aphrodite and Eros talked about or what you saw at gatherings with Dionysus. Pleasures within and beyond your dreams were always just out of reach, because you were a gorgon, a monster. The risk of loving you was too great.
Why would anyone find you beautiful enough to put on paper?
The feelings well up inside you, and burst. You crumple the drawing in your fist, a few tears escaping your eyes, and immediately regret what you’ve done. Slowly you stand and smooth the paper back out, then go back inside to place it in the drawer of your bedside table.
You put on your clothes for the day, then put on a chestplate and greaves. It’s decided, you will check the perimeter and see if you can find whoever is spying on the Oikos. On the way out you run into Sten who is weaving in the inner garden.
“I’m doing a perimeter check.”
“Would you like company?” Sten responds absentmindedly.
“I’ll be okay. Keep half an ear out in case another one of Philoctetes’ useless heroes is lurking about.”
“I dunno. The last one was cute. Maybe it’s time we had a mortal as a pet.”
You roll your eyes and counter, “I’ll be sure to mention that if I find one. I’m sure they would be willing to live under threat of getting chopped into tiny bits and fed to our snakes.”
Sten turns her head and raises an eyebrow, “You might be surprised.”
You scoff and turn to go, “I’m never surprised anymore.”
As you walk through the garden to the north side of the Oikos, you try to shake off this strange mood that the drawing has put you in. The edge of the cliff is your first stop, and you center yourself listening to the rushing waters of the Styx below. You see Charon in his ferry and raise a hand. As usual you get the most minute nod in return, and you make your way east along the forest border, taking light steps as Artemis taught you, and tuning into your snakes scenting the air.
Over halfway done, and you haven’t found anything of note. A few of the traps Sten maintains have caught small game, and you cut some of the excess string to tie them together and drape the catch over your shoulders before resetting the traps.
On the last leg of your check your snakes perk up. They sway further West and you follow, keeping your light hunting step, and making sure to draw your sword. You go further into the forest until you can no longer see the bright signal of the Oikos, and then you find it. There is a patch of disturbed leaves and earth where a small fire had been. The ashes are almost completely brushed away, and the leaves spread over to make it blend into the ground. If you did not have your snakes to guide you to the scent you would not have found it. Whoever had camped here knew how to cover their tracks.
Unfortunately, your snakes couldn’t help you track any further. They knew if something was prey, or different, but they didn’t have the skills of hunting dogs. Once you found the spot they had scented, they would not know where to track from there, and your meticulous circles around the ashes yielded no more results.
You huff to yourself and when you finally stop, your stomach gives a mighty growel and you observe the sky. You’ve missed the mid-day meal, and it was past time to start daily training. Marmor is going to be insufferable. In your haste to sate your hunger and get to training you neglect the last leg of the perimeter, much to the luck of the prowling Hvitserk who had no idea how close he came to being discovered.
When you reach the edge of the forest there’s a twang and a zing, and you twist behind the nearest tree, shield on your back, pressed against the bark. You watch the arrow dig into the wood of the tree in front of you.
“What the fuck, Sten?” You shout.
“You’re late!” Replies Marmor.
You groan to yourself then shrug the shield off your back and use its shiny metal to see where your sisters are. Slowly, you pull off your catch for dinner from around your neck, and get ready to throw them at your sisters. Raising your shield in front of your body to deflect Sten’s arrows, you launch the strung together animals over your barrier, then shove forward to put your whole weight behind your shield, in hopes that you will shock Marmor and throw her off her feet.
It works. Marmor’s annoyance has her getting thrown off briefly, and the training session really begins. You block and parry, attacking when you can, but mainly trying to cover your open spots when Sten shoots arrows toward you. You’re late, so they’re both going harder on only you.
But your head isn’t in it. The moves are harder to come into your mind than usual, your footwork not as instinctive as yesterday. An off day all because of some faceless enemy stalking in the trees. Who are you kidding, it could just be a traveller. But the way the ashes were buried has you nervous.
And the drawing. Marmor’s sword clangs against your shield just in time. How could you forget? Were they connected? Could you get away with telling your sisters about the perimeter check but not the drawing? You didn’t think so. Your gut is screaming that they’re connected.
But now your gut is screaming, because Marmor kicked you.
“Fuck you!”
“Focus up! What if an idiot hero comes here? You’re not going to win fighting them like this.”
“Oh. My. God. I know!” Your snakes start hissing as they pick up on your anger, and you keep hacking and slashing toward your sister, trying to disarm her even though you know it won’t get you anywhere.
All you want to do is stop and think for a few minutes. Plan your next moves. Figure out who is watching you and why. And why would they draw you? That’s the part that’s gnawing at you the most. There’s a weird fluttery feeling in your chest and you absolutely hate it.
You use your anger to back up your power. Attacking furiously where you would usually stay back and block. You’re reckless and Marmor gets in a few close calls with her sword. You’re trying to block a particularly vicious swing of the sword when you hear Sten call your name, the duck seems to happen in slow motion where you watch the arrow fly just past your brow, and feel the sting of a sword on your thigh. Marmor has pulled her sword down across the top of your shield and you hadn’t pulled your leg back in time.
“First blood!” Sten yells, and Marmor pulls up and stops, only looking a little apologetic.
The wound is just a scratch for you. It stings, and will heal in a few days, but first blood stops the fight.
You rest the edge of your shield on the ground and lean on it just slightly, staring at your sisters. “We have to talk. Inside. It’s not safe out here in sight of the woods.”
“You found something.” Sten remarks. You glare at her. If you’re being watched, you definitely don’t want to be heard.
“Then let’s go eat. You must be hungry, Y/N. You’ve been out all day.” Marmor says, her eyes narrowing and trying to covertly scan the treeline. She walks over and grabs the game you had thrown as a distraction earlier.
Together, you walk back to the Oikos. Quiet and a little sullen. Your sisters don’t like off days any more than you do, and they are anxious to hear what you’ve found.
++++++++++++
If you want to read other stuff I write here’s my masterlist
Taglist: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @punkrocknpearls @solinarimoon @artemiseamoon @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @southernbe @vikingstrash @ritual-unions-gotme @pomegranates-and-blood @mrsalwayswrite @jadelynlace​
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kedreeva · 6 years ago
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Feel free to unfollow me right now if you believe it’s okay to endanger your house cat or the local native fauna it absolutely will kill by allowing it outside unsupervised/off lead.
Outdoor cats have a lifespan of 2-5 years. Indoor cats regularly live 15+, even getting up to 20+ sometimes. Unsupervised indoor-outdoor cats often don’t make it past 5 and the ones that do are a very lucky exception. Why?
They get hit by cars. They get attacked by other animals (predators or other pets like dogs) including other cats. They eat things that are toxic to them. They get killed by other humans. They contract diseases like FIV and FelV.
Even if your cat DOES live longer than 5 years, cats that go outside are responsible for the deaths of billions of birds and other small fauna per year. There have been studies done on this. It’s not people pulling stuff out of their asses, it’s something scientists literally studied and reported results on. Don’t believe me? Google “do cats kill wildlife” and have a read. They’re on the IUCN’s list of worst invasive species and have contributed to the extinction of 60+ species, and they continue to cause a problem for other threatened species of small animals.
If you think it’s okay to expose your cat to these hazards and potentially cut its lifespan by more than half, if you think it’s okay to allow your cat to kill native fauna to indulge it’s “natural instincts” instead of, I don’t fucking know, playing with it with toys literally designed to allow it to safely indulge those instincts, then you have no business following me.
I’m not here to indulge your whimsy about how cats “need” to be outside unsupervised to be stimulated and lead a happy life- I can assure you, they don’t. There are p l e n t y of enrichment devices and structures people can buy or make to ensure that their cats lead happy, full lives indoors to the ripe old age they are supposed to live to.
You also have the option of lead training your cat if you really believe they need to go out. This is something that proponents of “let cats go outside” ignore almost completely. They somehow believe that it’s all or nothing- either the cat lives 100% indoors without ever seeing sunlight OR it’s let outside without supervision where it can be injured, killed, or cause harm to the environment. Those aren’t the only choices. Cats adapt to leads very easily. They don’t like it the first couple of times, usually, but also usually when they figure out lead=outside, they get over it and the best of both worlds gets to happen- your cat remains safely under your supervision where it cannot come to or deliver harm, and it gets to go outside.
TL;DR Letting your house cat outside unsupervised is extremely dangerous both for your cat and the local wildlife and people arguing otherwise can see themselves out the door because I’m not about people endangering animals out of willful ignorance. You, along with every other pet owner out there, have a responsibility to protect your pets to the best of your abilities, and choosing not to do so in some misguided attempt to indulge their whims is poor animal husbandry. Any argument to the contrary is just an excuse to continue doing things which put animals in danger.
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shiredded · 3 years ago
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Random wildfire evacuation tips from california
Fire far away, or it's just fire season
Pack your Emergency kit Important documents, water, etc. Google what you should put in yours. There's a lot of resources.
Plan where to go It's gonna SUCK if you're scrambling to figure out who can take you in when there's only a few hours to pack. A friend is ideal but hotels will work too. If they're decent places they will only have a minimal fee for fire victims. Make sure your destination is pet friendly if you have those. Some hotels will make exceptions, call them.
Microchip your pets You should do this anyway but you could lose your pet while 50 miles away from home and this will help it find you again. They'll be scared and confused in a new neighborhood.
Find a reliable source of information Check to see if your county website or fire/police department has a place for updates. You want accurate information from the source, not from a neighbor or a stranger.
Eat all the icecream Depending on the evacuation, You will want to empty your fridge and freezer, so the weeks leading up to this are perfect for clearing out those tater tots
Keep your gas tanks full You never know when you'll have to drive several miles to find an open gas station.
Fire preparedness on your property Another thing to look up in more detail, they will give you measurements on clearing brush/branches etc. Sometimes this is the difference between a kind of smoky house and literal ashes.
Safety gear This will get scarce the closer a fire comes. You need N95 masks/respirators. Your covid masks will not filter smoke. Only take as much as you need to evacuate, because other agencies (like livestock evacuators) need them more.
Evacuation Warning
This means you MIGHT get evacuation orders, but not yet Make sure you know what the terms mean for your local district. This period can last hours or weeks, depending on the fire.
ONLY trust official information sources If a stranger runs up to your house and tells you that it's a mandatory evacuation and they're here to help, don't trust them. Watch them every second if you let them help and don't turn your back. They may rob you as soon as you hand them your valuable keepsakes.
Double check your destination Call your friend/hotel/etc to make sure they still have room for you.
Start packing Grab your dirty laundry basket: its all clothes you like/have worn recently and you can wash it later. You really only need a few hours to pack and evacuation warnings can last weeks, so it's more identifying what you should pack and starting on the more time consuming bits now.
Only pack what can't be replaced heirlooms, hobby items, artwork, photographs, etc. You can buy a new TV I promise. If you have fire insurance they will help pay for that.
Find your pets and livestock Bring your pets into the house and know where their supplies/carriers are. There may be organizations in your area that specialize in evacuating your livestock, so look those up.
Lock up for looters A horrific problem, but that's the reality. You won't be around to watch your property so looters will go around trying doors so they can steal from people in crisis. This is the main reason that law enforcement will/should be in the area. Plan to take expensive equipment inside, like table saws, motor/bikes, generators etc, and lock them up. Whatever is outside is easy pickings. If you leave any vehicles, lock them, even in the woods where everyone is kind and safe. The looters are not your neighbors, they will drive in from out of town to rob and vandalize evacuated places.
Check on your neighbors Especially elderly neighbors who may not be tuned in to what's happening or not taking it seriously. Fundamentalist religious people tend to be difficult. Make a note if you think someone is going to sit on their porch with a rifle instead of leaving.
Request help Get help if you need it from neighbors or community resources. If you don't have a car, don't worry. Someone somewhere has one and they truly do want to help you. Get everyone's names and contact information so you can keep track of each other. Social media is generally where this stuff tends to happen, so dust that off and see what you can do.
Mandatory Evacuation
All that planning pays off You will likely have a few hours to pack, but depending on the fire you can have just minutes or seconds before they pull you from your house. Evacuation orders usually have a "get out by" time on them.
Children and pets Find these and get them ready to go first. Do not let them wander off because you don't want to be scrambling for them later. Cats in carriers, dogs in a room or pen. Other animals in appropriate travel gear. Keep them indoors until everyone is ready for the car, because smoke can hurt/kill them (birds are especially sensitive)
Most important stuff first This is your emergency kit. Medication is extremely important. Harddrives, photos, documents, computers, etc, all goes in first. Next is clothes and toiletries. They'll make your evacuation less chaotic. Then valuables like jewelry, cameras, stuff that would be hard to replace. At this point your car should be pretty full.
Empty the fridge If you are evacuated for weeks and the power goes out, you do not want to know what happens in there. Throw it all in a garbage bag and put it outside. It's better to discard food now than discard your whole fridge later (they cannot be saved, trust me)
Check on your neighbors again If someone refuses to leave, let law enforcement know so they can handle it. They will either convince the person or make a note of their location for firefighters to worry about if the fire gets too close.
Lock every door and window you can Bring valuable outside stuff indoors and lock it down. This will deter looters looking for an easy target. Lock your cars, sheds, barns, etc.
Do not go back Law enforcement will be controlling the road during an evacuation. They might let you go back for forgotten things, or they might stop you completely. If you left a pet, they will notify the pet rescue teams (generally trained and certified volunteers) Basically assume you can't go back until the order is over.
Evacuated
Uncertainty Hunker down and prepare for a fight. Being evacuated can last between a day and several months (if your town got half burned, etc) Know ahead of time that you won't know much.
Official sources of information may be wrong The fire map sometimes reads smoke and might tell you your house is toast when it's not. Eyewitness reports are more trustworthy at this point. But know that you might not know anything for certain for a long, long time.
Seek out resources There will be food, supplies, and housing opened up for evacuees, depending on your community. Look up your area and take advantage of what applies to you.
Looters will follow you People will stalk fire victims and break into their cars and take everything they own. This can happen a hundred miles away from the fire, so keep your car in your sights if you can. Hotel parking lots are especially dangerous, so ask if security can patrol that area extra vigilantly. Sadly, robbers will also drive through tiny rural neighborhoods looking for an unusual amount of cars and will rob those. Take your MOST valuable things into the house/hotel room etc to keep them safe.
Your mental health Everything is going to suffer during an evacuation, so make sure you're doing selfcare to keep yourself ready for new challenges. Take time to cry and scream and kick rocks. Connect with other fire victims and you can emotionally support each other.
Going home Most evacuations are precautions, and everything will be fine when you get back. It's going to be a pain to unpack all that stuff again, but it would have been worth it if you lost your home.
Do it all again next year The climate crisis is bringing drought, plant-drying heat, and dry lightning storms to places we all thought were safe. Fires are hard to control, but your evacuation isn't. You'll be alright, and eventually rain will come. It gets easier every year and it really helps you identify what you value in life.
Help others If you're in no dangers, search up where to volunteer to help fire victims. Maybe you'll train as an evacuation response team and go into fire zones to rescue animals! Maybe you'll help out at a soup kitchen. Maybe you'll open your home to strangers who need a place to stay. Be the human kindness you'll need for yourself one day.
TLDR: The more you plan, the better. Round up kids and pets first. Lock all your doors because looters will rob you, or follow your car and rob that. Connect with your community to give and receive help.
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detroitbydark · 4 years ago
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Chapter 4
Characters: Hound/Nuna (OC) , Ryk (Clone OC), Tully (OC)
Warnings: Not a one!
A/N: went back and forth on wether this chapter would be sweet or spicy. In the end I’m happy with the direction I chose because these two are absolutely cinnamon rolls and I love them.
———
“So…uh, that guy? He seemed like kind of a sleen, right?” Oh Fett. He was saying the wrong thing wasn’t he? He was going to blow this whole thing to the Outer Rim and-
Nuna laughs. Not just a soft feminine laugh but one that builds and bubbles up from deep inside her. It’s a laugh that leaves her cheeks adorably pink and her chest heaving to pull in breaths.
“A sleen? Maker! That is literally the best thing I’ve ever heard. Yes, absolutely!” She yells over the music as one song shifts seamlessly to the next. The bass pumps in his chest like a second heartbeat. Hound glances over his shoulder to see Ryk and Rule in conversation with Nuna’s friend, also apparently his new friend, Tully. The Pantoran gives him a wink when she catches his eye and he turns back to Nuna quickly.
“Do you wanna drink?” She beats him to the punch. “I feel like after that rescue mission I probably owe you. Also, this song?” She looks up as if the music were an actual entity hovering above them. “I love it.”
Kriff. He was supposed to be the one getting her a drink. Right? He never realized how utterly useless at this he was. No wonder Mouse never gave him the time of day.
That wasn't exactly fair though, was it? Looking back now, Hound can see that his failure had nothing to do with him being himself and everything to do with him not being Commander Fox.
Mouse had eyes for the Commander before she probably even realized it. When it came down to it, the Commander was happy and that made it easier on them all. Al’verde deserved something nice, good, and all his own.
They all did.
“I guess that would be nice, but I don’t want you feeling like you have to because you don’t.”
Nuna rolls her eyes dramatically. “My treat. You can get the next one. Sound like a plan?”
The next one. He liked that idea. He gives her an affirmative nod and her bright smile lights up the darkened club. His chest squeezes uncomfortably and he takes just a moment to wonder what the kriff was going on but then he’s watching her side step through the crowd and he wonders if he shouldn’t have gone with her.
Tully joins him as the pair watch her finally get to the bar.
”Took ages to get her to realize she didn’t look like the wrong end of a Hutt,” Tully offers.
“Huh?” He glances at her out of the corner of his eye.
“After things went sideways with Alistar and let me tell you they went sideways.” She emphasizes the syllables on the last words as she clarifies.
Hound doesn’t press even though he wants to know. Instead he chooses the next question on his mind.
“Which end is the wrong one?”
“Take your pick.”
He can’t help the grin that crosses his face as he looks over at the Pantoran. She’s grinning back.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because she won’t and she deserves better than the likes of him and his kind of scum. You seem like a good guy.”
Hound rubs at the back of his neck. He wasn’t used to compliments outside of the backhanded one he and his vode threw about jokingly. ‘Good guy’ seems like a big deal coming from Tully.
“I try?”
Tully laughs. “No you don’t. It shows when someone is trying. You’re a natural.” Maybe she can sense he’s about to argue because she gives him a serious look. “Deal with it trooper.”
Something about the way she says it tickles him. A bark of laughter rises up in his chest and spills out. “Ok, yeah, roger that Commander.”
“Who’s the Commander now?” Ryk is pressing between the pair, an arm coming to rest on each of their shoulders. Rule is talking up a pretty green twi’lek and in a world of his own a few steps behind them.
“I’m the Commander, pretty boy,” she hums, tapping the younger Sargeant’s nose with a finger.
Ryk turns to Hound with wide, slightly drunk eyes as Nuna slides back up to the group. She hands Hound his drink.
“Did you hear that, Hound dog? I’m pretty.” His head snaps back to Tully.
“You think I’m pretty?”
The smile that fills the Pantorans face is almost feral. “I can think of a few ways you’d be prettier.” The way her eyes trace over his face is unmistakable and Hound hides a cough in his drink. It’s like watching some fragged up mating dance.
“Can you get your hands on some cuffs?” Tully asks sweetly.
Ryk’s jaw nearly hits the liquor sticky floor. “Stasis cuffs? So fast it would make your head spin, beautiful.”
Hound watches the pair, head snapping back and forth. Nuna leans against his side and rises to her toes. She rocks idly to the sound of the music as if it was second nature for her body to find a beat and follow it.
“Do you think he realizes that she would eat him alive?”
“I think he’s kind of into that.”
Ryk was into that. No question about it. It just wasn’t Hounds place to say.
They all had their own proclivities (except for maybe Thire). Ryk just chose to wave his freak flag a little bit harder than the rest.
Nuna chokes off a laugh and takes a drink. Tully, long legged and stunning, was absolutely a hunter on the prowl and tonight 79’s was her natural habitat.
Hound hasn’t seen Ryk so keyed up in ages.
“Good for him,” Nuna says after a long drink, “If she has her way, neither of them will walk straight for a week.” There’s a wistful tone to her voice that throws his mind into immediate overdrive.
He nearly swallows his tongue as he looks down at her. He was used to pretty frank locker room talk. Even shinies who’d only just seen their first woman getting off the transport in the Triple Zero had “stories” to tell.
There was nothing new or fascinating about talking sex. Except… he hadn’t realized that girls - women - could and would talk about it just as openly. The fact that the one he was feeling all google-eyed for was the one doing it made a heat rise up in his cheeks - and then sink low in his belly.
Nuna offers him a sweet smile, completely oblivious to what she was doing to him.
“So do you like to dance?”
Wait a minute she was just talking about- how could she just move past that-
“Uhh, not really. I mean- I really never have. I’m more of a wall holder-upper,” he offers as the DJ of the night begins to morph one song to the next.
“Oh…” she glances at the dance floor, “because I really love this song.”
“I feel like you’ve loved every song you’ve heard,” he teases. Her smile is bashful as she shrugs.
“Occupational hazard?”
“If you want to dance don’t let me stop you. I can hold your drink.” He offers as Nuna bites at her lower lip glancing between him and the pair of Tully and Ryk.
“Ok then... but you can join me if you get bored.”
“Noted,” he says with a laugh as she grabs onto her friend's arm. Ryk pouts as the pretty pink Pantoran blows him a kiss and stumbles to catch up with Nuna’s insistent pull.
”Do you think she’d step on me if I asked really nice?”
Hound’s head whips to the side and the toothy grin of Ryk standing next to him.
“What?!”
“Tully vod, keep up. I would lick that woman’s boots if she told me to.”
“You are a freak. Certifiable,” Hound laughs shaking his head.
The troopers watch silently. Hound sips at his drink and holds Nuna’s safely in the opposite hand. The girls dance close, smiling and laughing as the beat drops. Tully’s hand wraps around the back of Nuna’s waist and holds her close.
It reminds Hound of the affection batted around by his brothers. A playful, physical grounding touch that told a vod that they were cared for. Usually for him it was a sparring match or a quick bit of boxing but for the two women they watched dancing seemed to do the trick.
“While I do find watching can be rewarding in its own right” Ryk says nodding lazily toward Nuna and Tully. “I think participating would be much more rewarding”
Hound grunts as he watches. Nuna’s hips swirl and roll with the beat of the music. It’s kriffing mesmerizing and he can think of nothing better than having his hands on them as they move in tight little circles and figure eights.
“I don’t dance… at least not like that.”
Ryk laughs, “Vod! It’s flash training! If you can’t pick up a simple dance you are a failure as an ARF trooper.”
Just the accusation makes Hound bristle. He’d done far more difficult things during advanced recon training. It was just dancing. It wasn’t that intimidating.
Except he was feeling very intimidated.
Ryk runs a hand over his face before slinging an arm around Hound’s shoulders.
“Listen, you can choose to stay here, but if you do I can guarantee at least one of those shinies over there is going to do it for you.”
Hound's eyes follow Ryk’s line of sight to the group of shines off to their opposite side. Their heads are close together but their eyes are on Tully and Nuna. Watching their mouths, Hound can make out every third or fourth word and he’s not impressed.
Ryk doesn’t let his brother's indecision stop him. Hound watches with frustration as the other trooper makes his way to the two girls and slots in behind Tully. She gives him an appraising look before she relaxes back into his grip. Nuna steps back. While she’s still with the pair she’s definitely on her own. It doesn’t seem to bother her though. She really did seem to enjoy being out there.
Hound glances back to the shinies. One of them is bouncing on his toes while the ones on each side slap at his armor hyping him up.
Uh no. Not happening punk.
It was the sense of pride alone that finally gives him enough courage to move away from their table. He downs both the remainder of his drink and hers as he goes, setting the empties on a passing tray.
Nuna catches him in the flashing lights just as he reaches her. She doesn’t quit moving and he finds it even more distracting up close.
“The wall ok to hold itself up?”
“Yeah, I guess…” he lets out a rough breath.
Flash training, he reminds himself. This was no different than the rapid learning expected of them on Kamino. There wasn’t even any live fire to deal with. He could do this. A warm tingling ignites in his belly as the pair of drinks slosh around.
“I have no clue what I’m doing,” he admits. Nuna offers a soft smile.
“I can help.”
She’s in his space in the blink of an eye, already pressing In close enough where he can feel her body heat through his armor. Her arms move around his neck and he relaxes down just a little to make it more comfortable for them both.
Tully and Ryk are in their own little world just feet away. Hound can see the way his vods fingers flex on her hips. Tully has her head resting back on Ryk’s shoulder and her mouth turned in toward his neck. She’s whispering things that have both of them heavy lidded. Their bodies move together in a precursor of what was probably to come later.
“Hot, right?” Nuna asks looking up with bright mischievous eyes.
Hound is too dumbfounded to speak. She laughs at his silent nod, reaching up and ruffling his hair. She’s less shy now then she’d been earlier, more relaxed and less guarded.
“We’ll get you there.”
Hound stumbles through the next few minutes as she instructs him on the quick-quick-slow steps the music called for. His hands rest high in her waist. It’s frustrating and he knows his nerves are making it worse. Ryk’s chuckle from behind doesn’t do a thing to help.
“Easy on her toes trooper!”
Hound turns his head to bark something at his brother but Nuna’s hand grips his jaw and turns it back to her.
“Be a good boy and pay attention-��� she winces as he steps on her foot, “to me.”
If he wasn’t so embarrassed, he may have noticed how funny it was to have such an unintimidating creature ordering him around but his cheeks are hot and he’s mentally berating himself.
“Hound?” She dips a little lower to catch his eyes that are busy following their feet. “Look at me, not my feet.” She beams when he does as she’s asked and he finds he gets a little lost in the pale blue of her eyes and the way her dark lashes fan across her cheeks each time she blinks.
“That’s much better,” she praises. Her hands slip down over his and press them lower. His pinkies span over the top of the round ass he’s been admiring the better part of the night, while the others rest around her hips.
“You’ll be able to feel me better like this.”
Yeah, he could certainly feel a lot of her this way. No doubt about that. The music slows and transitions to the next song and Nuna makes a sound of approval. The beat is more sedate and the lyrics, though in a language he’s not familiar with, have a sensuality to them that is unmistakable. Nuna’s boot taps at his own.
“Wider stance,” she orders, nodding to herself when he complies. Hound watches as she steps closer, nearly straddling one of his slightly bent legs. His focus is honed in like a laser as she twists her hips slowly. He can feel the bunch and release of muscles in his hands and tries to mimic and mirror what she’s doing, adding the steps tentatively.
Her voice comes out as a purr. “That’s so much better already.”
Her hand slips behind his head and pulls him close til his forehead is pressed to hers. “Now stop thinking and just go with it.”
It’s a novel way to learn something, but it works. Like any other flash training he’s completed something suddenly clicks. The steps become second nature the movements of his own pelvis against hers become smoother.
“You're a good teacher. Has anyone told you that?”
Nuna looks away, hiding a blossom of pink high on her cheeks. It’s Hound’s turn to take control. Fingers trail up her back and tangle in her hair, turning her face back to him.
“You need to learn to take a compliment, Mesh’la.”
Her eyes go wide. Glitter strategically placed on her face catches the flashing lights and sparkles.
“I’m not- I’m not beautiful,” she stutters out, her body falling off rhythm for a second before he takes the lead and guides her back to it.
Couples press in around them, the temperature rising steadily. Hound barely notes it in shock of his own. It doesn’t even register that she’s translated the sweet endearment- a tactic troopers had learned would win women over in a heartbeat. He’s more awestruck that she didn’t see how amazing she was. Not just pretty - though he felt the term fit perfectly.
“Of course you are and fun and nice and-“ her finger presses to his lips stopping anymore words from slipping from his mouth.
“You’re embarrassing me,” she whines playfully, trying to lean back. Hound reels her back in.
“These are things you should hear all the time.” Alcohol and a little bit of confidence from picking up a new skill leaves him feeling a little bolder then he’s been.
“Well that’s definitely one opinion.”
Hound leans in close, nosing next to her ear as her body rolls against his. Her shampoo smells like candy, like something he’d crave time and again after having it. “I think it’s a pretty important one.”
Nuna sighs dreamily, wrapping one leg behind his. His hand drops down to her thigh, feeling where the fabric of her skirt rode up. “So it would seem. Hound-“
He gives her thigh a gentle squeeze. The feel of her so close is more intoxicating than the boozy drinks she’d brought them.
Her voice isn’t any higher than a gentle whisper but this close he can hear desire lacing it. He wasn’t the most experienced of all his vode but he’d certainly had a few… educational ones and what he lacked in experience he had the likes of Ryk and Rule to make up for in reconnaissance.
It’s hard to imagine things not going further with the way she presses against him. The mental images become that much more clear when he releases her leg and she turns in his grip, leaning back against his chest the way he’d seen Tully and Ryk earlier. The way her round ass presses against him makes him both despise and thank the codpiece of his armor. It’s gotten uncomfortably tight, but it was still doing wonders to hide that fact.
One of Nuna’s hands slides up and around the back of his neck and he lets his own trail from her wrist on down her arm before finding its home on her hip. Tiny goosebumps breakout along the trail his fingers leave. When her body rolls next, his stays locked with hers. She tips her head back and glances up at him.
He’s going to lean in and kiss her. With her head upside down. In the middle of a crowded dance floor. Where everyone can see.
The Maker must take pity on him because that’s no way to kiss a girl for the first time and certainly not how he wanted the first of (hopefully) many to go. The song cuts out just as his nose brushes against hers and a soft puff of her breath tickles over his chin. She smells sweet and the honeyed candy scent sticks with him as she pulls away. He wants to know what her mouth tastes like, what her skin tastes like, what her-
“Not bad for your first time,” she hums with big blown pupils as she turns and presses her hands into his chest.
“I’ll take your word on it.”
“Nunz?” Tully slides behind Nuna, bending to rest her chin on the shorter woman’s shoulder. “Imma drag this one down to the arcade a level down.” She glances back at Ryk who is smiling like the Tooka who ate the Tik-Tak.
“He says he’s got excellent aim and there’s a stuffed wampa I want. You two wanna come?”
It feels like Tully is asking a different question but Hound isn’t sure how to decipher it. Ryk looks smug, like he already knows the correct answer.
Nuna’s pale blue eyes flash to him for a split second. “I think I’m getting tired. I’ll probably head home in the not so distant future.”
Hound’s heart sinks. Time was not something he had a lot of extra sitting around. He wanted to spend it with her. He’s feeling the creeping of disappointment when he catches Tully’s smile lengthening from ear to ear.
“Hound? You wouldn’t mind seeing her home, right? I’d feel so much better knowing she wasn’t by herself after that run in earlier.”
——-
Nuna hadn’t foreseen this, sitting in the backseat of a speeder taxi pressed against the far door with Hound next to her and a pair of strangers sucking face next to him.
He lets out an irritated puff, the sound coming out augmented through his bucket, as the Rodian and Twi’lek to his right continue to go at it.
“They’re really… enjoying themselves, huh?”
The sound he makes has more humor in it. “Yeah, I wasn’t familiar with Rodian mating habits, but it didn’t mean I needed a crash course.” Hound jerks forward, his bucket coming within centimeters of her own head as she snickers. If looks could kill, she’s sure the one he shoots over his shoulder at the unaware couple would have them both in an early grave.
“Just ignore them.” She offers.
“Yeah? How do I do that?.”
Nuna bites at her lip trying to hold back a smile. “Pay more attention to me.”
The way his helmet quirks, to the side and just a little back, is comical.
It’s another one of those things she’s finding she really does like about Hound. He made her smile. Not even just smile. He made her laugh like she hadn’t in ages and not the sexy girly giggle. No, these were full on belly laughs that made the abs, hidden deep down under a layer of fluff, ache.
The game Tully had been playing hadn’t been subtle and Nuna loved her for it. She hadn’t wanted the night to end after a drink and some dancing. She wanted more. It was exhilarating and nerve wracking in the best possible way. It left her tummy full of butterflies. It had been a let down when the other couple had piled into the taxi behind them. It only got worse when the noises had started.
Nuna wonders, not for the first time, if Hound was blushing as hard under his helmet as she was sitting next to him.
“More attention?” There’s a distinct humor in his voice. The sound of it is warm and inviting. “Maybe something like this?”
Nuna feels the soft nudge of his gloved hand against her own fist balled at her side. She wills her nervous fingers to relax. The second they do Hound is slipping and twining his in between them.
Did all clones radiate so much heat? Nuna can feel the burn of his skin through the thick tactical gloves he wore. Was he warm like that all over? The thought makes her cheeks burn.
“I think that’s a good start,” she murmurs, glancing down at their interlocked hands and avoiding his eyes.
“Looking at me would make it better,” he says quietly, nudging her chin up with his free hand.
It takes a deep breath and another minute of thought before Nuna has it in her to look. His helmet is cocked just slightly to the side and she can imagine him smiling underneath it, all toothy and smug.
“I’m looking now.”
“Looking beautiful.”
A laugh sputters past her lips despite his earnest tone. How was she even supposed to respond to that? He was legitimately being serious and she’s almost afraid to look in the mirror because the person he was seeing really couldn’t be the same one she saw staring back at her everyday. So, instead of thinking harder on it or, you know, accepting the compliment, she does what she’s always done best - deflect.
“Do you wanna maybe come up for some caf?”
“That sounds really good.”
And it was really as easy as that.
The amorous pair next them finds the ability to separate for long enough to give the cabbie notice of their building. It’s a relief to be free of them. Hound moves allowing them more room but his hand doesn’t leave hers. He uses it to bring her along with him, moving her away from the door but allowing no real distance between them. Nuna approves, leaning her head against his armored shoulder as the taxi dips back into the sky lanes.
“That can’t be comfortable”
“It’s not so bad,” she manages, trying to stifle a yawn, “I’ve had worse.”
“I’m aiming for best here Mesh’la.” Not only can she hear his warm voice but she can hear it rumble through his body. Paired with the soft circles his thumb is making in the back of her hand Nuna feels the first traitorous pulls of sleep begin to take hold.
“M’not beautiful,” she hums without any real fight to it.
“Y’are too.” He mimics her speech pattern and Nuna laughs quietly.
“I’m not gonna be able to fight you on this, am I?”
He surprises her when he turns his head and rests his helmet for just a second against the mess of hair he can reach. “You can try. I’m always up for a challenge.”
She should come up with something sassy or witty to say but she’s literally lost for words. Her mind is a perfect blank. So instead she snuggles into plastoid and enjoys the attention.
It’s only another few minutes before the taxi speeder is pulling up to her landing platform and the pair are stepping out. Nuna slips her hand from Hounds long enough to hand a few credits to the driver.
When she turns back to him, Hound is giving her a bewildered look or what she assumes to be bewildered behind the dark visor of his bucket.
“This isn’t the building you had me drop you off at the day we met.”
“Oh… oh! Yeah. That?” Nuna offers him a shy smile. “We don’t let strange men know where we live.”
“We?” If anything, the bewilderment only seems to intensify.
“Women silly,” she pauses as he reaches up to pop the seal on his helmet. She most assuredly does not ogle him as he pulls it off and tucks it under his arm. Her heart definitely doesn’t start beating double time when he runs a hair through the messy strip of hair atop his head and shoots her a sweet smile, waiting for her to continue.
Stars, she was in trouble with this one.
“I guess you really don’t know? You gotta play it safe. Stranger danger and all that? Anything ringing any bells?”
Hound shrugs, good-natured smile firmly in place. “I don’t think I’ve ever had to worry about the dangerous sort. Unless…” his voice turns teasing as he reaches for her hands. “Ms. Skii, do you have anything unsavory planned for me?”
Nuna doesn’t resist when he laces their fingers and draws her in.
“Do I look dangerous to you?”
“You have no idea how dangerous you really are,” he says softly, tipping his head toward her.
Nuna tips her chin up, rises to meet him. Her eyes flutter shut at the warm breath so close that it tickles her lips. Alas, what she assumes to be the best first kiss of her life is thwarted by the blare of a speeders horn.
Because they were still on the platform.
Jumping back she shoots the driver a look that she hoped spoke volumes. She thinks maybe it’s the arms crossed over her chest that has the driver suddenly gesturing in apology but a glance over her shoulder shows an extremely unhappy clone trooper. Her look hadn’t killed, but a few more seconds and maiming was possible from Hound’s
Nuna nearly laughs before latching onto his arm and pulling him into the building and toward the turbo lift. It’s cute because he comes along without any real trying on her part and by the time the lift is in motion, the mean mug has melted back into a grin.
The nerves don’t hit until the lift has stopped. She hasn’t brought a man to this apartment. Ever.
After Alistar she’d made a promise to herself of a fresh start and Tully had said there were openings in her building and the price was right and then natural lighting was to die for and-
It’s been two years since she’s brought a man home and the thought is suddenly terrifying as she leads the way down the hall. Hound is pressed in close. One short step and he’d crash into her back. She wasn’t ready for this. As much as she thought she was, as much as she thought she could bring him home and fool around and do all the fun, reckless things that any single woman her age would be up for doing with such a fine specimen of a man has her bordering on panic with each step she takes.
By the time she’s reaching for the keypad her hand is trembling enough that Hound notices.
“Is something wrong?” Everything about his presence is warm, from the heat he radiates to the rich deep timbre of his voice. It should be perfect, but Nuna just can’t shake her nerves.
“No- I mean. I’ve never brought someone home before for… you know…” She flinches as she turns around and presses her back to the door.
Hound’s brows furrow together before he softens, “For caf? I mean, it’s not a big deal. You don’t have to go through the trouble. I’m fine with tea.”
Nuna lets out a shaky laugh, “You nerfherder! You know what I meant-“
“I did- I do and I want you to know I didn’t come here expecting anything from you. I just wanted to spend some more time with you and, if it makes you more comfortable, I’ll say goodnight right now.”
“You're serious?” Nuna asks after a moment's pause, “I mean you’re not going to hit hyperspace trying to get away from me if I don’t want to sleep with you?”
The look of offense that darkens his features is instant. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of guy you think I am, but” he takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his face. His voice gentles, “I like you. I get it. There’s been some scum in your past and I don’t know what you had to go through but know this. I’m not him.”
“Hound, I’m sorry.” He holds his hand up.
“All I ask is that, whether it’s today or tomorrow are a standard month from now, you give me a chance.”
“My turn to be honest,” she says quietly “I’m out of caf but if you still want to I’ve got a comfy couch and a few bottles of ne’tra gal chilled. We can watch something on the Holonet?”
“Ne’tra gal. Like real Mandalorian Ne’tra gal?”
Nuna shrugs as she half turns to finish punching in the access code. The door slides open and the pair enter.
“Yeah, I get it from Ordo’s. Near little Corellia?”
———
Hound feels like he’s gotta be the luckiest trooper that’s this side of wild space. He’s got a bottle of sweet Mandalorian ale in one hand and the other gently stroking the hair of the prettiest girl he's ever met. Nuna looks up at him and gives him a small smile as the next round of commercials start up.
“What?” He takes another quick pull of his Ne’tra gal.
“Just remembering that I’d been about to kiss you earlier.”
“Yeah. Shame that speeder pulled up and ruined it.” He sets the near empty bottle on the end table. Nuna’s eyes flash mischievously. He’d been really worried when they’d gotten to her door earlier that she was going to send him packing immediately. It’s not like he wouldn’t have left the second she said goodnight but he’d hoped, and the Maker had seen fit to give him a small blessing.
They’d been watching and laughing over Holocomedies for over an hour when she’d tucked in close, wiggling slowly up under his arm. She felt right against him, even through the armor he’d refused to shed. If she was nervous just to have him there, he wasn’t about to do anything to encourage further anxiety. The armor stayed on even though the thought of feeling her pressed against his actual flesh and blood body made him a little dizzy.
“Hound?” She cranes her neck up to look at him.
He hums quietly, fingers ghosting over and through her hair. He’s struck again by how soft everything about her was. He wasn’t used to soft. Not on Kamino and not here on Coruscant. Even Grizzer, though he wasn’t complaining, came with a rough and tough hide.
“Yeah?” She squirms out from under his arm and turns on her knees facing him.
“If I asked you to kiss me, would you?”
“Is this you asking, Mesh’la?”
By Fett and the Maker he hoped this was her asking. Nuna’s chin bobs up and down and she bites back a grin.
He can’t deny one of his own as he leans in slowly.
Her lips are soft as his fall against hers, a test run as his hand cradles the back of her head. She’s soft like flowers though he’s never had much experience with flowers. He should bring her flowers. Something just as special as she is, maybe those little ones he’s seen that smell like summer rain and sunshine.
Nuna sighs softly and Hound opens his eyes to see hers still shut and a pink flush creeping into her round cheeks.
He pecks her again. And again.
Soft feather light brushes that draw more soft sighs from her each time he pulls away. Innocent, teasing brushes of his mouth against hers that have a tension drawing tight in his belly.
When he does finally pull away it takes a moment to realize the trembling he’s feeling is coming from his own hands.
Nuna’s pale eyes flutter open and he’s trapped. A shy smile is tucked away at the corner of her mouth.
“Again please?”
Yeah, he really was the luckiest son of a rancor this side of wild space.
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nukyster-blog · 4 years ago
Text
CC Chapter 33) Of Mice And Men
.-.-.
Out of troubles and pain will emerge strength and triumph, that was what kept Ivar from devolving back into the Bloody Bear of Kattegat. The Giant hadn’t bothered to unshackle him due to his poor state and a few days had passed, of which he’d spent mostly in solitude. Stubborn solitude, because Piglet did her best to strike up a conversation: 
“Ivar I’m-” Piglet started, but Ivar cut her off.
“Do not say you’re sorry. You despised her!” Ivar snapped, rediscovering his voice and his temper, “you hated her!” 
Piglet pursed her lips and kept them firmly shut, the look upon his face frightened her. She must have noticed the change within him, too. The Djinn or Wrath had been pushing him to his limits. His physical limits, too, because every damn day that he was shackled like an animal, Ivar used to regain his strength. Carrying his lower body across his box, over and over. There was something empowering about those repetitive actions; it was mind over body, because his body ached due to the recent beating. 
“I want more food,” Ivar demanded after the Giant locked the door for the night.
“I want golden slippers and a dress made of silk,” Piglet answered matter-of-factly, while knitting a new scarf, “but we don’t get what we want.” 
Her reaction made Ivar shut his mouth for the rest of the evening, deciding he needed to lower his standards in order to regain more strength and muscle. He’d never been a very picky eater and desperate times called for desperate measures. 
After dusk settled and Piglet curled up beside him, Ivar kept his eyes open and his knife raised above his head. Uttstot’s interested cawing echoed as Ivar held his breath and pricked up his ears. 
Soft squeaks slowly erupted from the floorboards, during the night it was mice that ruled the shed. Fast, scurrying little bastards; always curious and eager to find crumbs of food. 
Ivar remained motionless, supporting his weight on his elbow, careful not to make a sound. Until a very brave mouse came too close and signed it’s own death warrant.
Ivar’s knife met with flesh; tiny limbs spasmed for the last time. He pulled the mouse off the blade, careful not to tear the small thing up. 
Ivar was used to skinning rabbits; but mice turned out to be a challenge. It required special skill to slice the fur and organs from such a small body. He made a mess and decided that the kill was so meager, he’d also have to eat the organs, too. 
If he had to describe the taste, he’d have to go with quite pungent and gamey. But the taste wasn’t bad enough to make him gag. Besides, Ivar never had any aversion to the taste of blood. 
Tearing meat from a tiny hipbone, Ivar failed to pick up on the sound of keys stealthily twisting into the lock of the shed, before a shadow of a monster lurked inside. 
While chewing on vermin meat, Ivar locked eyes with Ludolf who froze in the doorway. 
Candlelight illuminated his face, which immediately fell when the young ruler lay eyes on the cripple slave. It must be a peculiar sight, seeing another human’s  mouth covered in blood, ripping the bones and intestines from a mouse. 
It was enough for Ludolf to snatch a handkerchief out of his pocket and press it in front of his mouth, muffling a squeamish gag noise.
The disconcerted whimper that followed from those lopsided lips was enough for Ivar’s ego to rise and stand taller than the Giant. 
He ripped off the tiny head of the rodent and held its ear between his thumb and index finger, bringing it in full view.  
“You see this, spineless bastard?” Ivar spoke toneless and wiggled the head before pressing it into the palm of his hand, “if you ever cross Piglet’s line, yours will be next,” and with all the spite he could muster Ivar rammed his fist into his palm.
Blood and specks of gray matter splattered across Ivar’s face, and the absolute disgust coming from Ludolf’s throat was simply music to his ears. 
Ivar held his palm up, so that the young ruler could have a front row seat to the bloody mouse pulp before bringing it to his mouth. 
For the second time Ivar managed to cast Ludolf out of the shed by grossing him out. Stumbling over his own legs Ludolf fled their shed. As the keys locked the door, Ivar wiped the crushed skull and brains off on the hay covered floor and held his breath. 
Piglet’s calm nasal weeze indicated that the young woman slept through the whole scene. 
“Not to be all sanctimonious, dear Piglet,” Ivar whispered to the sleeping form of his companion, “but you don’t know the half of what an incredible safe keeper I am to you.”
.-.-.
Piglet woke up with a lot of dramatic noise and gestures. Stretching her arms, cracking her neck, and exhaling a deep yawn. Ivar rolled his eyes at her, arms tucked behind his head and still wide awake. During the hours traveling towards morning he’d decided not to tell Piglet about Ludolf’s nightly visit. What good would it do? None at all, and it would be nice if at least one of them had a proper sleep during the night. 
All were wrapped in silence; Piglet was still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Utstott hadn’t made a peep ever since Ludolf pressed the keys into the lock. That feathered creature was a lousy guard dog. 
And Ivar was simply brooding, inwardly declaring war on the entire world. 
Piglet eventually broke the silence: “What happened to your face?” she asked and bobbed her index finger against his cheek. 
Realising his face was still covered with specks of mouse splatter, Ivar dully rubbed the back of his hand over his cheek and with a shrug  muttered, “I fell.” 
“Into what, paint?” Piglet retorted, raising an eyebrow, “that’s blood,” she stated and took hold of his chin, “what did you kill?” 
Ivar roughly slapped her hand away, “this does not concern you,” he growled. 
“If the Toothless finds animal carcasses in here it is my concern,” Piglet rapidly bit back, getting into his face again, “what.did.you.kill?” 
It was evident  that Piglet would continue to pester him about his nocturnal massacre until she reached his breaking point and had her front teeth knocked in by his fist. As that would do neither of them any good, Ivar sighed deeply and extremely annoyed.
“Fine,” with one swift move he wiped away hay and plucked four badly scalped mice furs from the dirty floor. Tossing them in front of Piglet’s bare feet, the young woman screeched and shoved herself backwards on hands and feet. 
“W-what did you do with-” 
Ivar cut her off: “-the rest? I ate it dear Piglet, because I am sick of being hungry all the time. And since you refuse to do anything about it, well, let’s say I had to take matters into my own two hands. Bloody hands.” Ivar added, showing his palms.
It wasn’t often Ivar managed to leave Piglet speechless, but his ability to absolutely disgust others knew no limits. He of course learned from the mistress herself. 
“You are eating rats in the middle of the night?” Piglet eventually muttered, forming her disgust into a question.
“Mice,” Ivar corrected her. ‘I scared away a spineless rat though,’ he thought to himself, but kept his lips firmly pressed shut. 
“Mice…” Piglet dully mumbled more to herself then to Ivar, “Hamar, by Allah, he’s eating mice…” 
.-.-.
A/N: I’m sure there are others that share my worst nightmare: people finding out the things you google. For this chapter the worst search was: ‘what do mice taste like?’ Interesting fact, apparently there are many ways you can eat mice. Another fun fact about this chapter, I wrote it while eating a jelly doughnut, which about halfway through turned out to not be the best idea. So yes, our Prince is eating vermin, grossed Ludolf out and saved Piglet’s virtue for another day. I’ve had a bad case of writer's block but I am recovering, so that’s why the length of this chapter is rather short for my books. 
Hopefully next chapter won’t take as long, 
Xoxoxo Nukyster  
The kickass beta: @sarahh-jane The tagged ones: @youbloodymadgenius​ @xbellaxcarolinax @saldelys ​ @shannygoatgruff​ @pieces-by-me​ @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa​ @readsalot73​ @lauraan182 @conaionaru @sarahh-jane @peachyboneless @adhdnightmare If you’d liked to be tagged, please let me know:)
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Master post of things to read (for life and stuff) after or before collage and advice
30 human rights (Make a post on this later maybe)
Invoking rights when arrested
What do I need to buy for a house?
How do taxes work
How do I do them
Student aid
Scholarship basics (go to the library and ask for a book of them, it helps)
Go to Walmart
Not brand name is ok, but try not to for food
Have milk, eggs, flour, baking soda (food and cleaning), and cereal at all times
5 dollar chicken from costco is a life saver
Rice, in a pot or cooker, even 5 minute is a must have
get a good lock, be safe
Get some cheap cookies or something, just something to make you happy
potatoes work alot. Skin, boil 10 to 15 minutes, blend with milk.
Diets are shams, get some carbs to get through the day hun
Youtube dad
Youtube Mom
GO TO THE LIBRARY IT HAS A LOT MORE THAN HARRY POTTER AND TWILIGHT
Google it, just try it.
toilet fixer dude
Thank letter; *Compliment It.* *thanks it was great!* , *It was so fun/useful/educational or its so useful, i use it all the time.* done
how to take a girl/ascended being of perfection/guy out for the first times or ideas for dates:
cool thing: exciting thing, football game, museum, MUTUAL INTERESTS
food; ice cream places are not pricey, and cute, or a drive through to be quick but must have some thing else Stay away from McDonalds, taco bell, and anything old and cheap looking. anything else is fair game for the first few dates. just bring a snack, like cookies or something
nice place: cute park, and chill or your house with movie, physical contact is great here, intimate moments
a date must have cool thing or nice place + food, and BOTH OF YOU ARE HAPPY
get a good pair of tennis shoes, ok? shoes need to be good
goodwill for anything
go for a walk at least every week, mental health
get a format for emails and for the work place
never say anything negative, ie rude uncle of mines story *he complains about drug addicts in the streets to coworker* *coworkers daughter died of drug abuse* / *talks to the guy doing the carpet about how doctors are demanding* * guys kid is in medical school*
talk less, smile more
to not implode I always do nice things for people I don't even like, so if I need something, They can't refuse. They hate it. Kindness means Karma and Karma's a B!tch
get a smoll plant, even a fake one. Monkey brain like leaf, make less depress.
have something to look forward to. A show every Saturday, get ice cream on Tuesdays, just something
get a cat, and train them to poop in the toilet. If you have a mess they will know it off the counter and you have to clean it up. and they rock and can be better for apartments than dogs.
eat breakfast, moron
have a granola bar in your bag
drugs WILL hurt your body, not to mention the workplace rules
look for free things. Microsoft has some free courses you can sign up with EMAIL
get a good gmail for at home, and get a device that has no workplace on it.
keep your teeth good, dental sucks and is expensive
eat some fruits
don't buy a scale for yourself, its dumb, and will only hurt you, and stub your toe every now and then
get a watch, and have it on your wrist. your phone is in your bag.
being on your phone looks bad, idk why, so avoid it
make some friends, even online
Get some formal wear, church nice to new years eve swank, and you CAN ask the dress code for a party "Hey, I was wondering, what's the type of outfit I should wear? I don't want to show up in my church clothes when everyone else is in suits! :) I can't wait! "
dating is overrated, do that fun stuff with friends (make sure it said its platonic, pleaseee)
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bigtittydemonwife · 4 years ago
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Toby doing dad!things like painting the nursery, reading expecting books and overall fluff for him and his pregnant gf head canons please? Maybe him coaching through labor pains? My maternal instinct has revved up bc of my period now I just want to be pregnant with this man and have a mini toby to hold
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Father! Toby Headcanons
I don’t like children at all but I love this man so mich he would be an exception
Best dad honestly
Takes him a while to be ready but once he is he IS READY
Ain’t one to shove genderoles on his child, so he’ll paint the walls a pastel purple
Ya’ll have to consider the risks though, Tourette’s and CIPA are both genetic
If your child has CIPA its gonna be harder, they don’t know when they need to go to the bathroom, they don’t feel hunger pangs, they can’t sweat they just overheat, and when they teath they can chew holes in their gums, sometimes they have to get thee teeth pulled out and be toothless until their actual teeth grow up, but then they’ll be behind in devolpment because other children will already be learning how to eat hard foods they’ll still be on soft onesIf his child has Tourette’s you bet he’s spoiling them rotten (not that he won’t if their normal)
He loved how big your belly is!
Honestly all the massages
Once again don’t expect to have to lift your legs
You can have messy hair, be eating cheetos and wearing sweatpants while unable to get up and He’ll look at you like your the most beautiful thing ever
He reads all about child birth and being a father so he knows how to help you
Once your labour pains start he starts panicking for a moment before he’s all business
He’s counting down the days
Once it is born he’s still spoiling you
He’ll spoil his children so much
If his child does has Tourette’s and they watch Disney movies you bet they’ll both pick up a lot of tics
Like if you watch frozen two they’ll both do the ah a ah a song you know?
Sometimes it’s from different rooms and it’s the cutest thing
If he ever hears you child me getting bullied your gonna have to convince him not to murder a family
You’ll go talk to them like a normal person
If the don’t care you get Toby to cut down their power towers on a freezing winters night so their left in the cold, silence and darkness to re-evaluate their choices
Schizophrenia is also genetic so if your child has that their getting regular therapy and reminders to take their meds
He’ll play dress up and tea party’s with his child regularly if that’s what they want
He’s wrapped around their finger
Even if you don’t legually get married he’s gonna start calling you his spouse
He loves saying go say hi to mum/dad and seeing his child waddle toward you
Cries when they take their first steps
Will get them a dog so their safe when he’s not around
If his child has CIPA he’s getting them soft comfortable googles (when people with CIPA itch or rub their eyes they can injure them accidentally)
Honestly I love dad Toby
If you suggest calling it Lyra or Connie he’s gonna cry
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keelywolfe · 4 years ago
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FIC: The Rose and the Thorn: Chapter 4 (Mafia AU)
Summary:  The continuation of Rus’s terrible, awful, no good, really bad day
Tags: Spicyhoney, Mafia AU, Flower Shop AU, Violence, First Meetings
Warnings: Some violence. A wee bit of unwanted touching and some innuendo.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
~~*~~
Read it on AO3
or
Read it here!
~~*~~
The long ride through the city streets gave Rus a chance to gather up his scattered wits and once he got them back into the right order, he still only knew one thing for sure. He was seriously pissed off.
It was pretty obvious that this was all Edge’s fault, didn’t have to be a rocket surgeon to figure that out. Before Edge, Rus had stood at a lifetime score of zero when it came to kidnapping and after Edge started coming in, Rus was two for two with the extra bonus of their shop getting wrecked, and repaired, along the way.
Who the hell was this guy?
Flat out asking probably wasn’t gonna get him any answers and Rus settled for staring moodily out the car windows, absently noting the street signs even if they were all but meaningless to him. Rus didn’t know the city very well, that’s why he had google maps on his phone…he groaned inwardly as he realized his phone was missing. Fuck, it’d been hard enough to scrounge up the extra cash for that one.
His bag was gone, too, and a discreet check found his wallet was also absent. Not that he thought these guys were the kind to be cleaning out his meager bank account, but it counted for aggravation if nothing else. He’d need to get a new ID, new cards, the limited cash he’d had on him was gone. It was like every time he thought he hit bottom, the universe found another way to yank the rug out from under him.
Rus slumped down, letting his skull drop against the cool window glass as he stared at the blurring scenery.
Wait…they were passing a little corner store that Rus recognized. These streets were ones he knew. They were heading into the Dust Bowl, towards home, and Rus would have felt a lot better about it if Edge hadn’t hinted pretty clearly that Blue and home weren’t the same place right now.
He went on to prove it by driving past the residential areas and Rus gave the route that would have set him on his own porch a longing look. What he wouldn’t give to be curled up on his own bed right now, heading into Sleepsville and if any dreams came his way, Rus was gonna stuff them back up the pipe they came from.
Edge drove on and the silence in the car was close to unbearable. Rus wondered what Edge would do if he turned on the radio. Probably not kill him, he’d only just saved his life, but the guy was a criminal per his own lack of denial. Maiming might still be on the table and Rus really needed both of his hands for work.
The place they finally pulled up to was worse than he could have imagined. Rus stared up in horror at the glowing neon lights, so bright they were visible in the daylight, surrounding the huge LCD screen advertising their ‘services’. Places like this were exactly why Blue wanted their store in the Human shopping district.
“are you serious? we’re going to a strip club?” Rus blurted.
He’d never gone into any of the clubs down here in the thirties block; they were nicknamed the dirty thirties for a reason. Even if he’d been curious, which he really, really wasn’t, Blue would have murdered him if he’d put so much as a toe bone across the threshold of one of these places.
He’d been trying not to look at Edge, better to focus out the window than on the façade of a handsome face overtop whatever criminal awfulness lay beneath it. Now Rus turned to see Edge was rolling down the window, speaking in a hushed voice to another Dog Monster in a nice suit. Yeah, just like the guys from his first venture into kidnapping and Rus wasn’t any kind of Sherlock Holmes, but even he could add 1 +1 = bullshit.
Edge only glanced at him with a flick of crimson eye lights, “This is my place of business, yes.”
The Dog stepped back, and the car eased down the narrow alleyway between the buildings. Rus barely choked back a cry of surprise as Edge abruptly veered the wheel into a hairpin turn right towards the building. The brick wall loomed and then vanished into a sort of tunnel, cutting off the afternoon sunshine. An underground parking area, Rus realized, and there was no old clunker of a van with a rose on the side painstakingly painted in his brother’s hand in sight. All the cars here resembled the one he was already in, sleek and shiny, every single one of them worth more than their shop with all its blooms and their house combined.
Edge pulled into an empty spot and shut off the engine. It only made the silence that much worse, bleak and complete. He started to turn towards Rus, hesitating when Rus flinched back helplessly, strangling on a yelp before it could be the first thing to fill the quiet.
“Easy,” Edge said, and there was a new inflection for that deep voice, one that Rus hadn’t heard before. Manners he’d gotten at the shop and this morning, anger. Today it was coaxing, almost a croon, trying to soothe him like Rus was a lost pet and something about that comparison stirred his already agitated temper. Edge reached over and Rus might’ve damn well bitten him, but he didn’t touch. His expression only darkened as his gloved fingertips hovered over the side of Rus’s face where it ached the most. He was probably bruised up, whoever nabbed him at the shop this morning had popped him a good one.
“Easy,” Edge said again, in that same cozening voice, “you’re safe here. Let’s go inside.”
"no." Rus crossed his arms over his chest and slumped back into the leather seat, scowling down in the direction of the glove box. The front of his apron was dotted with marrow, dried to a tacky maroon against the heavy dark green fabric. Rus scratched at one of the spots, watched as it flaked away into dust, but the stain remained. Probably even Blue’s terrifyingly efficient laundry skills wouldn’t be able to get it out.
There was a beat of silence, then, "What?"
"no!” Rus said again, infusing that single word with all the irritation and fear of the day, letting it pour out as he added. “i'm not getting out of this car until you explain to me what's going on."
He glanced at Edge out of the corner of his eye, half-expecting another round of that anger from this morning. Instead, he looked nonplussed, his brow bone drawn down into a frown. Suddenly, one corner of his mouth quirked up in a crooked smile. "So. You want to sit here in my car with me, alone, is that what you're saying?"
Startled, Rus’s head jerked up and Edge’s amused gaze was suddenly closer, the much-larger skeleton leaning over the gearshift right into his space and bracing his arm against the passenger side door. His bulk seemed to fill in any room that Rus wasn’t already taking up and Rus’s back was already pressed tight against the plush cushion of the seat. There was nowhere else to go as he sputtered out, "w-what?"
This close, the heady aroma Edge’s cologne was overwhelming, enormous, and worse, there was a hint of spice paired with it, a whiff of roused magic that paired with the sudden heat of his body so close to Rus’s. The only light was whatever overhead fluorescents could make it through the tinted windows and Edge’s scarlet eye lights tracing along Rus’s bruised face again. That voice Rus found so enticing before sent a strange tingle down his spine as Edge murmured, "My enemies already think you're mine. Perhaps you should be."
What. The. Fuck.
"i don't belong to anyone!" It sounded so weak, less a denial and more a sad kind of plea, which was stupid, because Rus wasn’t one of the flowers in their shop, he wasn’t something that could be owned, thank you very much!
"No?" Edge picked up his hand, prying it gently away from where it frantically gripped the side of his seat. Where his sleeve rode up, Rus could see the shadow of bruises left earlier by the ropes and he could only stared dumbly as Edge nuzzled at those mottled blotches, a light kiss on the inside of his wrist made Rus shudder, not in revulsion, no, he couldn’t name that feeling. Edge’s grip was so gentle, more cradling than holding and Rus could have pulled away if he wanted to, broken that hold so easily. So why wasn’t he?
"no…” Rus tried to protest, strengthless and lost, “you don't even know my name."
"I don't, you're correct in that," Edge agreed. He pressed another light kiss to Rus’s wrist, nudging his sleeve further up to investigate where the bone was unmarked and pure. "But I know you. You work all day in your little shop until noon when your brother comes in to relieve you for your lunch, which you go to eat at the corner park."
That woke him out of the daze that rich voice wove around him, innocuous as a spider’s web and twice as insidious. At least with a spider, you knew what they wanted from you. “you…you've been spying on me!"
"No,” Edge denied. His breath was hot against Rus’s bare wrist, his teeth scraping lightly against the slender, delicate bones as he spoke, “We have another place of business down the road from your shop and I can see the park from my office. I see you sitting alone on the bench, eating your sandwich and feeding crumbs to the birds and squirrels. I don’t know your name, but I saw your smile when I came into your shop. I know more of you than you might think."
He moved then, with a blurring speed, his face inches from Rus’s as he said, softly, "I am a very bad person, flower shop boy. If you saw my soul, you'd know that. And you…"
“please,” Rus whispered. He didn’t know what he was asking for.
His voice grew softer yet, almost a subsonic rumble. Hardly more than a breath as Rus stared up at Edge with sockets so wide, they ached. "You were a step into the sunshine out of the darkness. A fantasy that I never wanted made reality and yet, now you’re here and it is becoming very difficult to not embrace the dream. Now. Do you want to go inside, or would you rather stay here with me to discuss this further?”
The last was said with a sardonic lilt and it took a moment for Rus to realize he’d stopped talking, the former silence was overshadowed by the throb of his soul, so loud in his head Rus wondered wildly if Edge could hear it, too.
But the spell was well and truly broken and if this were only a ploy to get him out of the car, it worked. Rus opened the passenger door so quickly he nearly slammed it into a concrete support beam, almost falling onto the pavement in his effort to scramble away.
Edge exited with better grace, his smooth gait carrying him to where Rus still wobbled on his feet. “Inside, it is,” Edge drawled, his mouth tilted into a smirk, “Do you need help?”
“i can walk on my own!” Rus wasn’t so sure he could, but he wasn’t about to let this asshole carry him again. He let Edge get a few steps between them before he followed, staying out of arm’s reach. Pointless effort, the first place Edge led him was a service elevator, where Rus was forced to stand right next to him surrounded by stark wooden paneling and glaring overhead lights.
But when the door opened again, it was into far more lush surroundings. Ornate carpets ran down a hallway subtly lit with ornate sconces. On the left was a neutrally painted wall lined with artwork that was miles above the league of the cheap prints in their house from the thrift shop. On the right there was a row of angular glass, almost like skylights, looking down.
The glass was tinted and if television could be believed, Rus figured it was probably one-way. He lingered back as Edge walked on, peering down. They looked down into the club below them, the stage lights dimmed through the tint.
From this angle, Rus thought he could see the entire ground floor. The bar was furthest away, with its collection of tiny-looking bottles ready to be used by ant-sized bartenders. He could see the patrons sitting at their tables, the occasional glint of a glass as it was raised, and the stage itself with a scattering of poles.
There were only two dancers, probably it was too early to put on any kind of real show, and they were making the most of their minuscule audience. A searing blush heated Rus’s cheekbones as he watched a scantily clad Bun slide languidly down a slim pole to her high heels, strutting over to kneel in front of one of the Humans in the audience, cupping her bared breasts as if in offering.
“If you wanted to see the show, we could have gone in through the front door.”
Rus jerked, looking up wildly to find Edge waiting at the end of the hallway, his face unreadable.
“how can you run a place like this?” Rus burst out. He jabbed an accusing finger at the display below them. “how can you abuse your own people for money?”
“All of our staff is fairly compensated for their work,” Edge countered, “which a more than they could say if they worked for the Humans. Now come along.”
That sounded more like an order than anything else had and Rus grudgingly obeyed. It was a shameful relief; he didn’t really want to see some guy shoving bills into a mostly-nude woman’s g-string, anyway. He hunched down, his skull low between his shoulders and followed.
The second door led to another hallway, this one completely enclosed. More expensive carpets and artwork, more intricate wall sconces that made Rus feel like he was in weird, modern version of Dracula. Except this was only like, office space above a rinky-dink strip club so why did it feel like they were walking forever?
“why did you even bring me here?” Rus grumbled, trudging along as he watched his untied shoelaces bump along the carpet. “you told me you were taking me to my brother. i want to go home.”
“I did say that and I am,” Edge agreed. Stupid how even now that voice sent a trill up his spine, why was he such an idiot, anyway? “But I’m afraid you can’t go home, not yet. Nor can you go to your shop.”
Home wasn’t entirely unexpected, all things considered, and the shop shouldn’t have been, if he’d bothered to think about it. Rus halted, dismayed, “but our store—we were supposed to get the new coolers this morning!”
“It’s been taken care of.”
“more help? great. i think we’ve had more than enough help from you!”
"You really don't have a choice. This is my fault, so I’m going to keep you safe." Said matter-of-factly, with no room left for debate or argument.
That didn’t mean Rus wasn’t going to try. "i don't want you to keep me safe! i don’t want anything to do with you or any of this...” He gestured wildly at the walls, the carpets, club that couldn’t even be seen. “this horrible place!"
Edge halted so abruptly that Rus nearly ran into his back, half-tripping over his own laces. He looked up into Edge’s stoic face defiantly, silently daring him to contradict him.
“No one talks to me like that.” But Edge wasn’t angry. It was more like he was marveling over it, almost pleased, and Rus didn’t know what that meant, he didn’t know what any of this meant. All he knew was his head ached and frustrated tears were starting to gather at the corners of his sockets, held back only be sheer determination.
He fought to keep from squirming under that penetrating gaze and it, well, it softened, somehow, it was the only way to explain it. “Come on,” Edge said, again, and instead of leading, he silently shepherded Rus to walk next to him, a hand hovering without touching at the small of Rus’s back as a guide.
They finally stopped outside of one of the doors that was as nondescript as any of them rest of them. Edge knocked briefly, in a weird rat-tat-tat pattern, then opened the door.
After everything, Rus still wasn’t sure what to expect and this luxurious office definitely wasn’t on his mental list. A large, ornate wooden desk dominated the room though there wasn’t a scrap of paper in sight, surrounded by leather chairs and sofas. There was a side bar with various sized bottles and a tray of clean glasses, and the walls were lined with bookshelves, filled with leather-bound volumes that had Rus mentally salivating; he could only imagine what information was in them, much better than the meager offerings of the local library.
Better yet, Blue was sitting in an oversized leather chair, still in his work uniform and almost disappearing into the thick cushions. He struggled to his feet with a cry, running over with both arms outstretched to Rus. Who dropped to his knees, clinging to his big brother as he hadn’t since the day they came to the surface and with almost the same mix of emotions, fear and joy.
“Brother, I was so worried!” Tears brimmed in Blue’s sockets and overflowed down his rounded cheekbones. His starry eye lights dimmed as he reached up to lightly touch the bruises on the side of Rus’s face, too gently to cause even a hint of pain.
“i’m okay, blue, seriously,” Rus told him. But he didn’t let go, leaning into those comforting arms.
“ain’t that sweet, a family reunion.”
That made Rus jerk, turning to see a burly skeleton almost as broad was he was tall coming from around the desk. He wasn’t much taller than Blue and in his sharky grin was a glinting gold tooth. One that might shine even in the dim light in the backseat of a car.
“Brother, this is Red,” Blue gestured towards the squat skeleton, who was lighting a cigar, “Edge’s brother. He told me what happened.”
“did he?” Rus said, as neutrally as he could manage when he was staring face-first at the skeleton who’d offered him a chance to ‘make it a double’ that morning, whatever the hell that meant.
“yep,” Red said agreeably. His crimson eye lights glittered with dark amusement as he grinned around his cigar. “glad you’re okay, flower shop, musta been a hell of an ordeal, eh, bro?”
Edge was standing by the door, arms crossed over his broad chest. His face twisted as if he was tasting something sour and he said nothing.
Blue only nodded, mopping away his tears with a clean hankie, “When I got to the shop and it wasn’t open, I was so afraid, brother! I had no idea that there was any,” he lowered his voice as if he might be overheard by someone nefarious, never suspecting that the bad guys were already in the room, “gang activity in our area and I’ve no idea why they would target us, but Red assured me they can help us handle it.”
“and fer a very reasonable fee,” Red added with mocking cheer.
“A fee!” Rus spluttered, “but all this is—” Their fault, Rus couldn’t say, not when Blue began scolding.
“Now, brother, I understand how you feel, but honestly, it’s not fair to expect them to help us for free. They’re businessmen and they can’t simply offer charity,” Blue lowered his voice, whispering, “and if we have their help, then I won’t have to worry about you.” He turned to Edge then and said with trembling gratitude, “Thank you, for bringing him back to me.”
“You’re welcome,” Edge said gravely, and Rus seethed inwardly even as there came another knock at the door, that same rat-ta-tat as before. Edge cracked it open to reveal another Dog, this time in what looked like a butler’s uniform, like he’d stepped right out of the movie ‘Clue’ after taking tips from Tim Curry. “Please, show our guests to their room. They’ll be staying with us for a few days.”
The Dog nodded, waiting as Blue offered more profuse thank you’s for them ‘saving’ him and if Blue thought anything of Red’s wide grin and Edge’s calm silence, it didn’t show. He followed the Dog and Rus started to trail behind him.
“Wait.” A hand on his arm made Rus pause and he looked up at Edge, biting back what he wanted to say even as he looked uncomprehendingly at the thin black rectangle that suddenly appeared between Edge’s fingers. “Here.”
It was his missing phone. Rus snatched it away, powering it on and he couldn’t help but notice the wifi was already connected. Like someone had bypassed his password and took a peek, sonuvabitch.
Blue was looking at him expectantly and Rus muttered, “thank you,’ before hastily escaping out the door.
The room they were led to was almost as big as their entire house. There was a wide bed topped with down-filled pillows and a heavy duvet, surrounded by curtains that were pointless in a room with no windows. On the other side of the room was a sitting area with a wide sofa and on the coffee table there were a couple of trays with domed covers that could only be dinner. A shame Rus didn’t think he’d feel like eating for about a decade or so. A disinterested poke at the remote on the side table opened a panel to show a large television screen that Rus didn’t bother to turn on.
What a weird place, the inside seemed bigger than the out, like an evil Tardis or something.
Rus flopped down on the bed without even stripping off his apron, toeing off his sneakers to let them plop down to the floor. That Blue didn’t scold him for making mess was a pretty good tell of his mood. Instead, Blue boosted himself up onto the mattress, crawling across the wide expanse to sit next to Rus and his hand was gentle as he smoothed it over Rus’s skull. Rus let him, didn’t draw away as he considered what he wanted to say.
“blue,” Rus hesitated, and said carefully, “i don’t know if getting involved with these guys is such a good idea.”
His brother surprised him, admitting, “I’m not sure, either. But they said they can help us,” Blue offered him a tremulous smile. “Business has been a little on the slow side and we lost that money to that horrible thief we hired. Red told me they can help support us until we get the insurance money. Things will be better, then, I’m sure of it.”
Rus closed his sockets tightly, swallowing down any other objections, because he knew that tone. Things had been tough lately, he knew that, but his brother’s false cheer told a clear story that Blue hadn’t been updating him like he should’ve. If they didn’t go along with this, they’d lose everything.
They didn’t have a choice.
“sure, bro,” Rus tried to force some enthusiasm into it, wasn’t sure if he succeeded. He gave it about a fifty-fifty shot.
“You must be exhausted,” Blue said, still petting his skull, “You don’t need to talk about what happened right now, let me heal that for you and then you can get some rest.” Fiercely, he added, “It will be all right, brother, you’ll see!”
That soothing, familiar touch drifted down his bruised cheekbone, fingertips going warm as Blue pushed healing into the injured bone. Getting healed always made Rus sleepy and he drifted off before his brother could finish, basking in his Blue’s gentle affection and care.
When he woke, the room was dark and Blue was asleep beside him, the bed so large they didn’t touch even with their arms outstretched. He fumbled for his phone, squinting at the too-bright screen that told him it was after midnight. As late as it was and as exhausted, he still couldn’t fall back asleep, his weary thoughts tumbling over and over themselves, an endless thumping dryer inside his mind.
They’d be staying for a few days, Edge said. Days of the shop being closed, days of the flowers not being properly tended, stock lost along with missing out on deliveries, walk-in purchases, any sales at all. Blue said Red offered to help but, what if that was all for show? They could lose the shop and if they did, the house would be next. Everything they’d worked so hard for.
This was all Edge’s fault, yeah, sure, and Rus still didn’t know exactly why, but it was the truth. A truth that didn’t even matter because lying here fuming about it wasn’t helping. What he needed to do was make sure Edge forced his brother to keep his promises to help them and Rus wasn’t sure how. It wasn’t like he had anything to barter, even the shop was technically in Blue’s name.
Except. There was one thing Rus knew that Edge wanted. Oh, he’d tried to deny it this morning and then went the complete opposite way this afternoon, but Rus was pretty sure he understood what was up with that. A failed attempt to protect him from…whoever, at this point Rus should probably start a list…and beneath that was the truth.
Edge wanted him, that much Rus knew and maybe if he…if Rus gave it to him. Maybe if he offered to give Edge whatever he wanted, they could be sure their shop was safe.
Lying in the wide, unfamiliar bed, Rus swallowed hard. In his daydreams, he’d been eager for something like this, tumbling into bed with his tall, mysterious stranger and even now that Rus knew the truth, a faint warmth throbbed once between his legs at the thought.
His soul was less certain, shrinking back in his rib cage. Rus ignored it, slipping out from between the sheets. All he had to do was offer and endure, who knew, he might even like it. Didn’t matter if he did. If it kept their shop open, Rus would do whatever it took.
It was worth a shot.
tbc
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the-fiction-witch · 4 years ago
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Note To Self
REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS XREADER RATING: FLIRTY AF
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"Goodbye now one and unwelcome to this Good content" Y/n smiled from the sofa
"What are you doing?" Thomas asked
"Its not Opposite day... you Very attractive mouse like creature"
"what are you trying to say?"
"I wanted to call you an ugly rat But I don't know what the opposite of a rat is"
"I worry about you. when I'm not around"
"I'm not dumb!"
"Yeah, sure your not"
"God damn it Thomas be nice or get out of my house!"
"You just called me a rat!"
"You look like a rat"
"Why do I look like a rat?"
"The thing your growing on your face"
"Will you get over it? I have a reason to keep it right now so I can't get rid of it. for work" He says
"I know. and I hate it so very much. The second your allowed to shave again I am going to wax that off your face"
"Is there a point to this video? Or is this just lets be mean to Thomas episode six?"
"Ohh Thomas, Please" she says "Every video is lets be mean to Thomas, My Carrer is built on being mean to you"
"What are we doing y/n?" He asks
"We are going though what the other googles and writes down on our phones and note book when its late at night" she smiled
"we are?" he asks a little panicked
"Yes we are Thomas"
"Ooohh... so what I write and look up on my phone at like two am when I can't sleep?"
"Yes"
"......... But its not safe for work?" He whispered
"we'll skip the porn Thomas" she whispered back
"It's not the porn I'm worried about"
"what else do you look up at three am?"
"That's between me and Steve"
"Wh- Who's Steve Thomas?"
"My phone" He says
"wait... so when you first set up your phone it asks you to name it right?" "Yeah"
"and you took that as not to call it I don't know, Thomas' phone, TBS personal or anything like that you thought they actually meant give it a name?"
"Yes I did, His name is Steve. and he helps me work out maths, and also shop for things I don't need"
"Like that Egg timer you have in your kitchen"
"My egg timer is awesome I don't know what your taking about"
"Thomas. You are a man in your thirties. You do not need an egg timer that looks like the death star"
"... Yes I do"
"God damn it Thomas!" she sighed "I swear to god your five."
"People have been informing me I look five for many years"
"Yes but you also act it."
"If I'm five I have a lot of weapons in my house... also all the porn"
"well done Thomas. Just tell the world you have porn"
"Ohh no... Sally darling. Cut that please"
"Gimme Steve," she says stealing his phone so she handed him hers
"Can I talk about how your background is just you with your bunnies?"
"You may, but then I may discuss how yours is just a picture of a cool beach you found." she laughs "Fun fact Thomas sends me very random WhatsApp messages, usualy pictures of just... stuff"
"Its normally landscapes when I'm working" "and hotel rooms, But to be fair I like seeing them"
"You just send me pictures of cute dogs?"
"I do, If I see a cute dog on the streets I usual ask if I can pet them and if I can then I pet them and send Thomas a pic of the cute dog I found"
"I'm always a little worried of someone questioning us about that. Like why do you have like sixty strangers dog's photographed on your phone?" He laughs "Because I don't have an answer that sounds not weird"
"Thomas? why did you just send jack a picture of toast?"
"He asked what I as doing and at the time I was eating toast"
"So you just send him a picture with the caption. Toast"
"You send me random porn gif's sometimes... just like at five am I'll get like a gif of like I don't know a girl riding some dude reverse cowgirl, with just like no context not even a hello first"
"Do you then used them to jerk off?"
".... None of your business" he answered "It's a little ... like when in bed with your girlfriend"
"Just, Ohh what's that honey, Ohh yeah just my friend sending me a gif of hardcore porn"
"exactly, like its fine please don't question it. also please don't get mad"
"Wasn't I like the main reason you and your ex broke up?"
"It wasn't the main reason, but... it contributed yes"
"she didn't like me"
"No she hated you"
"She asked you to move in with her didn't she?"
"She did, but we hadn't been dating that long and I found out later the only reason she wanted me to move in with her was so I would move away from you"
"she was a bitch"
"she was... terrible boobs also"
"What makes a bad boob Thomas?"
"not fun to play with. at least from a man perspective. Also... she had a daughter so they uhh yeah"
"anyway! you google a lot of like urban dictionary?"
"I do, Because my friend's say things in text that... I don't understand. and I have to look up"
"You are so old"
"I am" He sighs "You mostly google like map stuff. Like food..." he laughs "You must be the only person I know who sorts the food to nearest to me Ooohh I didn't know there was a Chinese that close to our house?"
"Yes, its like behind us and around a corner"
"Oooohh can we get chinese food?"
"Yes we can"
"woo!"
"what is self note?" she asked
"Its where you can record yourself like a mini voice recording of a note for yourself and you can make it remind you later" He explained
"Ooohh, You have alot of random notes"
"I do, mostly for things like go get shopping or do luandry"
"what's this one from... two am last week?" she asks
"Ohh don't-" He began but she had already clicked it
"Note to self... google if that thing is real... where you can get a couple of ribs removed... so you can suck your own di-" The phone said in clearly thomas' voice before y/n stopped it
"Thomas?" she asks
"Don't ever take my phone again" He warns stealing it from her and running off somewhere else in her house
"why did you need to look that up?" she laughs getting up to follow him
"Well you're not gonna do it" he answers from elsewhere
"You are such a baby" she laughs "I'll do it, you just have to tell me when you want it"
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