#this is kiss&cry erasure
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vroomvroomwee · 11 months ago
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I cannot stress how much of an impact this will have for the aspec community. It shows a character who has quite literally seen almost every inch of the universe, met all kinds of people, has been in all kinds of relationships. And what makes him the happiest is settling down with his best friend. He doesn't need romantic love or a relationship. How incredible is that? To have a show, in this sex obsessed day and age, do that?
When the entire world is telling aspec people our "lifestyle" is wrong or depressing or sad. When everyone is trying to "fix" us or is pitying us. When aroace erasure is so deeply rooted in society that you can scarcely find a fictional pairing where the fandom isn't crying their eyes out because they didn't get together or didn't kiss, as if their relationship is somehow lesser or inferior because of it.
I could go on and on about how earth-shattering it is to have one of the most popular and beloved characters in media choose platonic love. To show how platonic love and friendships are so powerful they even defied physics, probably even deeper and more powerful than romantic ones.
"This is the happiest I've ever been" Me too pal. Me too
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bluecollarmcandtf · 9 months ago
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Dads, Dads, and more Dads
I did something I shouldn't have! My buds all bailed on our night out, so I hit the bar and got hammered by myself. Somehow, I ended up blackout drunk in a fortune teller's shop. I remember crying about how much I wanted a fatherly figure in my life. She did this weird ritual to make me feel better. I thought it was a joke at the time, but I know now it wasn't...
"Buddy, get out of bed! Breakfast is ready!"
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A pang of guilt empties my stomach. For a moment, I stare at the ceiling with absolutely no urge to eat. It's been two days since that fortune teller put a curse on me, and I have no idea how to live with myself. I obviously can't pretend her little ritual wasn't real anymore.
"Hey, Josh," I nervously answer, stepping into the kitchen to look at my roommate.
"Can't sleep all day, buddy. Eat up!" Josh gives me an endearing smile that sends shivers down my spine.
A few days ago, Josh was a lazy, rude asshole who was only good for paying his part of the rent. We were chill enough roommates, but he only ever talked to me when he wanted a second opinion on girls he saw at the gym. The guy was easily the biggest douchebag in our friend group, always showing off and making someone else the butt of his joke.
Looking at him now, I'd laugh! If only I didn't feel so guilty for his personality's erasure.
"Look at the time! I better get moving. That yard won't maintain itself!" Josh flashes the brand new watch on his wrist. The thing is clunky and old: the kind of wristwatch you'd expect a dad to wear.
"You know we're only renting this place for the semester, right?" I search his expression for any trace of the slimy old Josh, "The landlord is supposed to take care of the yard!"
Josh just chuckles and mutters something about wanting to impress the neighbors. He even has the audacity to reach out and tussle my hair. My face gets hot as a guy, only a month older than myself, treats me like a child.
That curse really screwed up his brain. When Josh found me the morning after, something just broke in him. He immediately jumped to my side and promised to help me nurse my hangover, and it didn't stop there. After he tucked me in for a nap, he drove straight to the mall, buying a whole new wardrobe of cargo shorts and polos. I thought he was just hitting the gym like usual, so when he came back dressed up like the suburban father he hates, I barely even recognized him.
"Have a good day, buddy!"
Josh ignores my protests and plants a big smooch on the back of my head before marching out of the kitchen. It was bad enough my roommate was calling me buddy! Does he really have to kiss me like that too? It makes me uncomfortable to see my scummiest friend infused with such insane paternal instincts, but this is kind of what I asked for. Right?
I slam the back door shut and look at my rusty old bike. Today is already getting on my nerves and I'm not in the mood to peddle all the way to class. Maybe, that guy next door hasn't left for work yet...
"Oh, hey there, Kiddo!"
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The deep voice of my neighbor makes me relax a little. I see all six and a half feet of him climb out of the car and stare at me with the same look Josh had on earlier. He's a father of four, but ever since my night out, he looks at me like I'm him his only real son.
"Hey, Mr. Jones," I mumble back.
"Glad I caught you, Kiddo. I was just about to pull out of the driveway," he explains, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "You want a me to drive you to class today?"
I push aside my feelings of guilt and manage a smile, "That'd be great."
Mr. Jones beams back brilliantly. He claps me on the back, which knocks me a bit off balance. Before I know it, he's guiding me into his passenger seat and asking me to hold his briefcase.
"Just let me text work to let them know I'm coming in later than normal," he adds while texting on his flip phone, "How are classes going, kiddo?"
I shrug off the question with a one-word answer. Now that everyone's forced to act like my dad, I get asked about my classes like twenty times a day. My thoughts drift, but Mr. Jones keeps up the conversation, lecturing me about good grades or something. I don't know how a guy who barely knows me can have so many opinions about my academics!
"You know what!" I cut him off just before he starts reminiscing on his own college years, "Just drop me off at this cafe."
Worry lines form on his forehead, "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you the whole way?
"No. Just give me some cash."
Mr. Jones gives me a look of disappointment before shimmying his wallet out of his khakis. He counts off forty dollars and hands it over.
"Can I have a little more?" I press quietly.
Look, I know it's wrong to abuse this bizarre new dynamic between us, but I'm a poor college kid! If he doesn't want to give me his money, he can just say no. It's not like I'm holding a gun to his head!
"Sure thing, kiddo," he gives me a dry smile and pulls out a couple more twenties, "Don't spend it all in one place!"
"Ok, bye," I awkwardly announce and hop out.
"Wait!" his husky baritone calls from the car window, "You want a ride home after class?"
"Nope! Just go back to your own life," I yell stiffly. Even though I don't turn to watch him drive off, I hear his car pull away. It's just a car, but it somehow sounds disappointed in me too. I try to swallow the growing lump in my throat and step into the cafe for some much needed coffee...
"Morning, young man. What can I get you?"
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The lump in my throat seems to get bigger when I see the waiter. He's a lot hotter of a man than I expected to find in this little cafe.
Already, the way he looks at me is shifting. That curse is transforming whatever thoughts he'd just had in his head. He's feeling more and more protective and responsible for me with every second he looks at me. At this point, I've grown accustomed to the mysterious effect I have on older guys. It's only been a few days, but I've seen so many random dudes go through this psychological transition. It's like they're discovering a new purpose in life: me.
"Uh yeah, I guess a cappuccino would be nice," I mutter with a dry mouth.
"You got it, young man!" he gives me a friendly wink, "Anything else I can get you?"
I know I shouldn't push my luck, but I can't help myself with this guy, "A hug would be nice! I've been feeling a bit isolated lately..."
The waiter instantly puts his pen and paper down and holds out his arms. His welcoming smile is gone, and a look of genuine concern waits for me, "Come here."
I practically leap into his arms, and he eagerly accepts me, pulling me into his chest like it's where I belong. It feels amazing to be held by this man, even if I don't know him at all. I could stay here all day if he'd let me.
"Seems like you're enjoying the hug," the waiter eventually chuckles into my ear.
For a second, I'm confused, but then I realize I'm fully erect and the waiter can definitely feel it poking into his waist.
"Sorry!" I jump back, searching for any other witnesses.
"Hey, don't be!" he assures me, "It's a completely normal part of life, ok?"
"You're not mad?" my voice comes out more timid than I expected, but I can't help myself. I just accidentally boned up someone who was trying to be nice. What makes it worse, is that he's probably only trying to be nice because of my ridiculous curse.
"Of course not," he affirms, "I can help you take care of it, if that's ok, young man?"
"What do you mean?" My face burns red hot.
"Oh, let me show you," he grabs me by the hand and leads me away from the table, "There's no need to be ashamed of any part of your body! In fact, this part can be a lot of fun."
I'm left speechless as the waiter gives me another fatherly wink, but I can't linger on what he's said. I'm being pulled into the men's restroom. I hear the click of the door locking behind us as he pulls me in front of the mirror, sliding up behind me. I can feel his chest on my back and his thighs against my ass.
If I was hard before, I'm practically bursting now!
"It's time you had the talk, young man," he calmly speaks in my ear like this is a completely normal thing for a waiter to do.
He starts droning on about men, women, sex, and where babies come from, but I'm not listening. I obviously know what sex is, and I think I'm having it right now. His hands slip under my arms and wrap around my waist to unzip my pants. My rock-hard cock bursts out of my jeans the second they're open, and a moan of surprised ecstasy fumbles over my lips just when the waiter gets to his point on male anatomy.
Does the waiter really believe a dad should do this for their sons?
He starts talking me through how to jack off. He must think I've never masturbated before, and I'm sure as hell not telling him that I have! Hearing him narrate every wrist movement, every ball tug, every nipple pinch is just too much fun! Before long, the waiter has me violently shooting on our reflections in the mirror.
"And there you go," he pats me on the back while I stand there stunned. The waiter steps back and looks at me like he's proud of the great life lesson he'd just taught me, "Now you know how to get rid of those boners of yours. Let me go get your coffee started."
I stand in the bathroom, collecting myself, as the waiter finally tends to my coffee order. This dad-curse the fortune teller gave me might be more fun than I originally thought. If I can get one daddy to randomly jack me off, then who knows what else I can do! Rushing out of the bathroom, I already have so many ideas flooding through my head...
"Excuse me, sir!"
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"Sorry!" I shout.
In my excitement, I almost crash into the cafe's porter. A little less graceful, and I would have sent every single dish crashing to the floor. Glancing at the face of my would-be victim, I almost moan when I see get a good look at him. I can tell his head is already filling up with the same artificial need to be my father.
"No damage done," he assures me, lingering back to stare at me like I'm some lost puppy.
"Don't you...um...have to bus some tables or something," I breath nervously.
"Oh yeah," he frowns, "Sorry to get in your way."
He shakes his head like he's trying to lose the strange new thoughts in his brain. I stand there frozen like a deer in headlights as he walks away. He glances back at me before turning his attention to a cluttered table.
"Wait!" I yell, "Come back!"
The busboy drops the tub of dirty dishes and rushes back over like his life depends on it. The sight of this worried hunk running back to me makes me hard all over again.
I grab him and pull him into a hug, but his arms quickly take over and support me. Once again, my boner is rock hard and poking into the body of some random guy I just met!
"You have a car?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"You want to drive me around?"
"Of course!" he yanks off his apron and puts a hand on my back.
The waiter comes back around and hands me my coffee, looking at his coworker in utter confusion.
"Cover his shift," I demand, "He's driving me to school."
The waiter nods with an open mouth. He does look completely confused, but there's also a hint of jealousy in his stare. I think he's mad the busser gets to chauffeur me around: poor guy.
The porter doesn't seem bothered to be walking out of his job. He's busy smiling at me like I'm his whole world. I slide into his humble car and tell him where my class is. Before long, he's pulling out of the parking lot and driving me to school. I use our time to get to know him. I'm honestly not all that interested in learning about his life, but I do enjoy watching him talk. It doesn't take a while for us to get to campus, but before I get out I grab his hand and put on my best puppy dog eyes.
"I don't know when you get off work, but I'd love it if you came by my apartment. My roommate is trying to clean it up, but he could really use the help of someone more experienced."
"I love housework!" he just answers, "I'll be there!"
I snicker and slam the car door shut. I might be an hour late, but I'm finally here for class. It's time to give my professor a visit...
"Yeah, I can unbutton my shirt!"
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My professor fell under my spell just as fast as the others. He had a look of anger when I walked in; probably from me skipping his class, but that expression quickly warped as he looked at me. Within seconds he was rounding his desk to give me a big old hug. Apparently, he "forgave" me for being so late.
"You like what you see?" he asks, gesturing to his hairy chest, "Trying to check out your old man?"
"You're my old man?" I ask, kind of surprised by the goofy smile on his face.
"Well, no," he bumbles, "But I am a strong male influence in your life! I'm like your dad!"
I nod my head like he's just made a really good point, "Oh. Then you probably want to treat me like your son. Right?"
"Yeah!" he holds his arms out to animate his enthusiasm.
Professor Reid has a reputation for being stiff and demanding in the classroom, so his new personality completely contradicts his true character. The man I know would never smile at a student, let alone bare his chest to them.
"So, I'm off the hook for missing today's class right?"
"Well," he pauses, "Sure."
"Can I skip the rest of the semester?"
"What, no. I want you to have a good education, my boy!"
I creep up to him and place my hands on his hairy torso, feeling the fur and the weight of his body. Professor Reid sure has a lot to hide under all those dress shirts he always wears.
"I'm just so lucky to have a daddy like you," I purr, "A daddy who's willing to do everything he can for me."
My professor grabs my arm and stares into my eyes. With a serious tone, "I am willing to do everything for you, my boy."
"Alright," I smile, "You should give me private lessons then..."
"What a great idea," he's back to grinning like an idiot.
"...and you should always do it in your underwear!"
"I can do that. From now on, I'll be stripped and ready before you come in!" He smiles at me like this is the best decision he's ever made in his life.
"Alright, now pull the rest of your clothes off," I command, "I want to see what the rest of my daddy looks like."
Mr. Reid doesn't hesitate to start stripping in front of his favorite student. I could probably get this guy to do anything now. I can already imagine our private lessons; me lounging in his leather armchair and him on his knees with his mouth full. Maybe that curse isn't a curse at all. Maybe it's actually a gift...
"Hey, buddy! How was class today?"
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Josh looks tired from a long day of yardwork, but he still seems excited for me to come home. The lawn looks immaculate compared to our neighbors', and I have my roommate to thank for that.
"The grass looks great, dad."
"Dad! Woah!" Josh yells ecstatically, "Buddy, I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that."
Josh sweeps me up in his arms. Apparently, it doesn't bother him to be the father figure of a guy only a few months younger than himself. It doesn't bother me anymore either. I kind of like that he smells like aftershave and bacon now instead of weed and sweat.
"Let's go inside, buddy. I'll cook something up for dinner," Josh says with a hand on my back. I'm already growing so accustomed to being guided around everywhere.
"Actually, I invited a guy to come over," I admit, "He can cook. You should relax. You got a lot of work done today, dad."
"I did, didn't I?" he smiles proudly, "Let me grab a beer, then. We can watch TV."
"Actually, I thought there might be something else you'd enjoy."
"You know me so well, buddy. What are you thinking?"
"You could bend over the couch..."
Josh cringes and shakes his head. Once again, it's like he's fighting the foreign thoughts entering his head.
"...I know how much you like to make me happy, and I really want to pound ass right now."
For a second, a look of horror flashes over his face, but it's gone in an instant. A bright fatherly smile spreads between his cheeks.
"That sounds perfect, buddy. Enjoy yourself."
Josh doesn't look away as he unbuttons his cargo shorts, smiling at me with love and devotion the entire time. He seems completely relaxed as he bends over the couch, and he only seems to become more comfortable as he spreads his cheeks apart.
Once again, I'm rock hard as I stare at one of my dads. This curse might have made me feel guilty before, but Josh said it himself.
I think I will enjoy myself.
Thanks for the ASK, Vebrendos
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r0ttenhearts · 1 year ago
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cold tea
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sypnosis: after scaramouche’s erasure from irminsul, something in him changes
angst, arguments
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“here scara, just how you like it.” scara’s pale, slender fingers hold onto the mug tenderly, giving you a rare smile as he drinks the bitter liquid.
“you always do know how to make it perfectly, (y/n).”
you smile as you hug his shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to the side of his head. “well of course, my dear. i have to know these things.” “that’s what i love about you.”
it seemed like so long ago since you had moments like that with him. if you made him a cup of tea like that now you’d only be met with a bitter glare before he’d leave the table.
it all changed after he erased himself from irminsul. luckily, you still remembered him, but you almost wished you hadn’t.
sure, scaramouche before he erased himself wasn’t always pleasant. but he had a soft spot for you and only you, a gentle kindness that was hidden behind closed doors. now it seemed like his unwavering anger was the only thing in your shared home.
the nights he’d spend next to you were now long gone, you knew he’d taken up the traveler on her offer to travel teyvat together. a part of you felt happy for him, happy he had finally made a place for himself to belong, the other half felt bitter as you remembered he’d rather be around her than you.
that gnawing thought chewed through you the longer the time you spend apart. it couldn’t be true right? it was just your overthinking! of course he still loved you, you were with him through everything. from his time as a harbinger, to the time he became a wanderer.
but.. he’d never been gone this long. it had been a month since he departed with that blonde haired traveler. your shared home now felt like it was never shared.
that was until you saw him sitting at the table, sipping on a dark liquid as he cradled the cup in his hands. his eyes seemed lighter as he drank from the cup, his eyes flickering to yours.
“oh, you’re back.”
you nodded, smiling softly before sitting in front of him. your heart clenched, watching him hold his cup so tenderly. you had missed this view so much.
“we need to talk (y/n).”
you nod, taking his hand gently and squeezing it. “i think that’s been long overdue, don’t you agree? it’s been so long since—”
“we need to end whatever this is. i’m in love with the traveler, i won’t continue this and be unfaithful to her.”
your smile dropped, eyes widening at his words. he was in love with the traveler? this was over? no, it can’t be. it was only a month! a month was all it took for him to fall out of love?
“w-what..? hold on a second, scara. we have to talk about this. you can’t just decide to end it like this.”
scaramouche scoffed, ripping his hand out of your grip, his cup now forgotten on the table as he stood. that familiar smirk was on his face, that smirk he always held before he would do something unreasonably cruel.
“there’s nothing to talk about, (y/n). to be quite honest with you, i got bored of you. the way you do things, just everything about you disgusts me.”
he laughs loudly, moving his hands around the room. “i mean just look at this shit! do you think i want to fucking live like this? playing housewife to your delusions? you know, you’re so much worse than you used to be. that’s why i left. i never thought about you while i was gone, not once. not until lumine brought you up to me did i remember your putrid existence.”
tears filled your eyes, you silently wept by the end of his monologue. “then why did you stay for so long?” you quietly asked, your voice cracking.
“because i like taking my anger out on you.” he grinned.
he sighed dramatically at your tears, mimicking the way you struggled to breath at the realization that it was all over.
“go cry to someone else, i’m out of here. don’t bother showing your face outside of here. i’ll make you regret it.” with a slam of your front door, it was the end to a six year relationship.
the months after that we’re some of the worst months of your life. every time you made your way to the city you’d see scaramouche there, hanging with lumine or nahida. he’d always find ways to torment you. tripping you under stalls, blowing wind in your direction when it was storming and you attempted to find shelter, blowing your birthday cake out of collei’s hands so it’d smear all of your face, his cackle being the only thing you could hear as collei attempted to comfort you and wipe the cake off of your face.
your tears eventually won your forest friends over, so they agreed to let you stay in the village with collei giving you weekly groceries and news about what was going on. her sad smile when she’d tell you about the festivals and events that tighnari and cyno would made you feel guiltier about the whole ordeal. but you were terrified. someone like scaramouche wouldn’t back down for no reason. his cruelty knew no limits, and that now applied to you.
so why was he here now? his fingers around your wrist a mere 3 years later. you knew it was him by the way his fingers felt, a warmth you had long forgotten about since his time with lumine. “(y/n).. please. i know that’s you , nahida told me you were still here. i just want to talk, i don’t mean any harm to you.”
you shook your head, refusing to meet his gaze as you tried to get away from his grip. the fruits and basket you held now forgotten about on the floor next to you. “please.. leave me alone, scara. i don’t want to talk to you or even less see you.”
scaramouche takes you by the hand, dragging you along to an alleyway, his large hat covering his face as he looks down, your hands being gripped in his.
“let me talk first, okay? then you can decide if you still hate my guts or whatever it is you might feel for me.”
not like he gave you much of a choice in the matter, anyway. you slightly nod, seeing his shoulder slump, his grip on your hands lessening.
“it’s just— it’s been so difficult being alone. i was abandoned again, how ironic. traveler left me once she found her twin.. she had no use for me anymore so she discarded of me like the doll i am. in the time i spent after her betrayal i realized something.. i realized i only ever felt that same happiness with you. you never used or discarded me like she did.
you loved me the way i was, even when i was in the fatui, and after. your love for me never wavered. and i regret throwing that love away so very much. i miss the tea you used to make me, the way you’d take care of me after a long day of battles. i miss you (y/n). please, if you can find the forgiveness in your heart, id like to have a relationship with you again.”
scaramouche looks up at you from under his hat. his eyes were glossy, cheeks tinted with pink as he stared into your eyes longingly, with hope. he looked the same way he did when he had breakdowns over his mother back in inazuma, his loud cries and pleads for answers as to why he was abandoned. why he was so unlovable. now he held the same state for you, it seemed almost ironic by the way he looked at you.
you couldn’t hide your scoff, stepping away from him. “seriously, scara? that’s what you have to say to me after all of these years? like nothing happened you just want me to forgive you. like you didn’t spent a year tormenting me with what i lost with you. i don’t even feel sorry for you in all honesty. i don’t forgive you, scara. and i never will.”
you turned to leave before he stepped forward, grabbing your hand with tears in his eyes. “please..!” you glared at him, shaking him off of you as you left in that alleyway. the same way he left you alone at that table that night.
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taglist: @samarill @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy
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mayxo-hxh · 3 months ago
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Do you think hisoillu romantic relationship would be confirmed more explicitly in the future in the manga?
I have read this very interesting post for killugon about how togashi Never leave thing vaguely / ambiguous and always confirmed the romance between queer characters, but in hisoillu case even if illumi said they were engaged, there still a lot of people who always repeat the excuse of («THiS Is jUsT fOr ThE mOnEy») even thought to togashi purposely shoose specific romantic word to describe It… this is why I wonder if you think we would be have additional elements who will confirme more explicitly their loves later in the manga?
I don't think so.
As the killugon post had mentioned, Togashi is all abt subtlety especially when it comes to hunter x hunter. Meruem and Komugi never came outright and said that they love each other. Alluka never came outright and said shes trans. and Hisoka and Illumi arent going to come outright to say they love each other.
You will ALWAYS have people that deny the existence of queer relationships/characters regardless of media. Even if you had Hisoka and Illumi kiss on camera, there is always going to be the people saying "This isnt illumi actually, its someone else in disguise!" or "Hisoka definitely manipulated him!" or "it wasnt actually a love kiss it was just obligation!" You'll never truly be free from queer erasure.
THE most explicit thing that could have been done in hisoillus relationship was to loudly and boldly announce their marriage, which Togashi did. And just like you said, people still grasp at straws to deny their relationship's existence. Thats just how its always going to be. You can easily debunk every single excuse they give you with full proof and evidence, and they still wouldn't care. The mistranslation excuse was debunked by a japanese speaking person ages ago with photo evidence and explanations and people will still call it mistranslation. They don't care about whats canon or what isn't, they only care about erasing queer characters from the media.
I think hisoillu specifically being unpopular as queer characters is because of the fact that theyre shitty people and the antagonists of the main lovable characters. Most people don't want to touch Hisoka with a ten inch pole and Illumi by association. But if you actually care and pay half a braincell to focus on their characters and interactions, you'd find that its undeniable that they've always favored each other in each and every single interaction they've had when they never do so with other people.
What I do think will be shown in the future of the manga is hisoillu's explicit collaboration against the troupe on the black whale and more of them working together in the future. Maybe they'll even mention the fact that Hisoka is part of the Zoldyck family now and it'll be acknowledged by other Zoldycks. But thats about it. And that's all we'll ever need, really. Let people cry and delude themselves all they want, but we as hisoillu fans should not need more than that to know whats canon and whats not.
The only way i see them being "more" explicitly confirmed as romantic in the future is if togashi had enough of bitches whining about it and straight up goes himself "is it not obvious" when someone asks him about hisoillus romantic relationship lmfao
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differenteagletragedy · 1 year ago
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Our Life headcannons
-- Cove has at least one child who is autistic and nonverbal. He becomes a master at communicating with this baby, and whenever they are able to use their words he absolutely loses his mind. The first time he hears an "I love you"? Crying, screaming, flat on the ground, bawling his eyes out. Let someone in public try to make any kind of remark if the kid has a meltdown. They will not survive.
-- Derek asked you to prom "as friends." He asked you what you were wearing so his tux could match you, and he got you a corsage too, "as friends." Did it seem kind of like a date? Of course it did, he'd had a crush on you for years. But he was very insistent on the "as friends" part and even if you had a crush on him too, it kind of made you think he couldn't ever see you that way at all.
-- Going to watch a movie with Baxter? Lol, no you're not. Boy runs his mouth trying to be cute and you can never follow the plot because he's sitting beside you with that little smirk, trying to make you laugh and look all adorable. If you really want to see something, leave him home or at least learn how to tune him out -- even if you do he'll keep going.
-- Cove doesn't like to drink but when he does he will not. Shut. Up. He's not like Movie Baxter, he just keeps saying whatever comes to mind, no filter. No real memory on how to properly structure sentences either. He just really needs you to know literally every single thought that pops into his head so please just listen to him, hey, are you listening?
-- Do you want a dog? You better if you end up with Derek, because y'all are getting a dog. It doesn't matter what kind it is, he'll be taking that dog on runs with him, he'll be doing research to get it the best kind of food and to figure out what kind of environment it thrives in. Did he just get another subscription box for the dog even though he already gets one? Yup. That's his dog.
-- Do you like makeup? Cool, Baxter likes you to put makeup on him too, thanks. Not to go out, that's not really his thing, but it's a nice relaxing activity to do at home. He gets you all close to him (once you get back together he's not gonna let you go lol), and he gets to feel pretty. Don't skimp on the mascara, he likes his lashes, and be sure to play up his best features. Maybe try a dark lipstick this time, he'd like to see how that looks. And when you're done having fun, you better get to thoroughly removing everything and then following up with his skincare routine.
-- Sorry, let's double up on Baxter while we're here -- do you have a skin routine too? Because that's a shared interest and he's gonna want to talk about it. What's your favorite cleanser? Do you want to do face masks together? There's this new moisturizer he's interested in that's stupid expensive but he still wants to try it, want to split it? You share a Sephora rewards account so you can get more points. Oops, you accidentally put on too much of your lip mask and your lips are all goofy -- just give him a kiss, he hasn't put his on yet. It's weird how much I could go on about this.
-- You can also put makeup on Cove, but maybe stick to powders so he can rinse it all off easy after. And you can do whatever to Derek, he doesn't care, he's just happy to be there.
-- Everybody makes a big deal about Baxter's dancing, but this is actually another case of Derek Erasure, because he can do stuff too. His dad taught him and his brothers how to properly dance with a partner, and he was too shy to do it if you took him to the Summer Soiree, but if you end up with him? He can hold his own for sure.
-- If Cove doesn't end up with you, he ends up with Xavier. That's it. That's how it goes.
-- Not one of the main boys, but if you and Cove have babies then Cliff absolutely thrives on his GILF status. He tells everyone that he's a grandfather, literally every single person, and he's def proud of Cove and loves his grandbaby to bits, but also, like, look at him. Crazy hot grandpa, right?
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missezramay · 1 year ago
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ted lasso, post-finale thoughts.
I went into the finale thinking yeah, if the writing serves, I can accept any outcome even if it's not exactly what I want. Instead, I was hit with a plethora of mixed emotions I didn't expect to have. Confusion, anger, hurt, annoyance, small bursts of joy in between, and just deep sadness. Almost 20 hours later and I'm still incredibly dissatisfied and processing. For the most part, finales should provide a feeling of celebration and relief. I... don't feel any of that.
I'm just really trying to pinpoint why I'm so sad.
Of course everything inevitably has to come to an end. Of course Ted was always going to reunite with his kid. Of course it's not about winning or losing. Of course Tedbecca can remain platonic if that was always the plan. Of course that's the way life goes, but...
For a show (and this season particularly) that constantly encouraged us to 'believe' and 'hope' in the idea that 'everything will work out', all those 75 minutes did was take me on an unsettling, emotional journey for no concrete reason other than to mess with the audience (the opening scene was just adding salt in the Tedbecca wound I've had since S2). Because everything in a macro sense, "worked out". But the WAY it "worked out" does not sit well with me?? And it's supposed to? For a lot of people (on Reddit/Facebook, lol), it was enough?? Richmond not technically winning and Ted leaving like that without so much as a tear? What am I missing??
When I tell you I'm trying to embrace the good parts, I'm really trying. Yes to KBPR & the women's team, Yes to Colin kissing his fella, Yes to Rebecca & Mae & the guys owning the club, Yes to Roy becoming Manager.
So... why am I still so upset? Hmm, let's see.
The boys' musical number? The cutest. Ted didn't think so.
Nate's apology? Heartbreaking. Ted didn't bat an eyelash.
Rebecca begging twice for Ted to stay? Ted, absolute silence.
Beard staying/getting married in London to his toxic gf? Comic relief, haha, fine. Except Ted wasn't there as Best Man.
Don't even get me started on the huge disservice to the Roy/Keeley/Jamie triangle.
Now listen, I get that he misses Henry & Henry misses his dad. I'm not that cold. A father/son's love is important. It was always the catalyst for this show; for him to work on himself so he can be a better father unlike the one he grew up with. That's fine.
But on this particular week. His last week with his Richmond family. There was NO sense of him being sad to leave them. He can be sad about missing Henry but he can ALSO be sad about leaving. No, he just completely checked out. He let everyone pour out their hearts (Hannah's getting her third Emmy, mark my words) to him, and he just stone-faced the entire time.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME.
The argument is that he was internally processing, he was overwhelmed, he was trying to distance himself so it would hurt less. Fair points, okay. But this is a television show, moreover, A FINALE. TV characters, while relatable, are heightened versions of ourselves, there so we can better process our emotions and learn to handle things better in our real lives. Ted deserved MORE dialogue and displaying MORE emotion than whatever this was.
We're never going to see him again. We're over here crying along with Rebecca, Nate & Beard, but he didn't sob once. Even though he spent three years building a family with them. I even thought, hey at least he left his legacy with Trent's book but newsflash, he wanted his name taken off that too! Complete erasure.
I just feel so robbed of better moments. Like there were nice moments here and there. But they could've been BETTER. Honestly, Nate & Rebecca's breakdowns were close to perfection, so much love there. But the lack of dialogue and Ted not reciprocating? Broke ME.
I just cannot. understand. this. choice.
Massive sigh. I'm just truly baffled by the way everything wrapped up and not getting the satisfied feeling that one half of the viewership got. Maybe I'm in the minority, but that means something. It carries weight. Also, for a "three-season arc" that was planned well in advance, why all the rewrites and parallels and fakeouts... it's just cruel. But as the theme says (and maybe this was a warning all along), yeah, I guess this might well be it.
This show has given us so much and the last season flailed for the most part. I don't want to disrespect the show by being negative and cynical (looks like I failed!!) or cast blame on anyone in particular. The cast/crew are amazing people and I'll be grateful for being a part of the journey but I'm just so sad and this feeling sucks and I will never get over it.
Going to miss them. x
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darkdevasofdestruction · 1 year ago
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Hi there please could i get some relationship headcanons for Thor! Thanks you so much!!
Let's see what we can do~
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⚡Thor is generally a quiet and apathetic person, caring mostly about fighting only and putting everything else on a second place.
⚡Still, he's not ignorant to the happiness that you bring him simply by being in his presence.
⚡Only around you, can he feel fully at ease and calm.
⚡Keeping his head on your lap, playing with his hair while you hum a lullaby or read him a book is one of the few things that can offer him bliss.
⚡He loves holding you in his arms - You're so small compared to him, he can't help but feel the burning need to protect you from any kind of harm.
⚡Though, realistically speaking, there is little harm that could reach you, considering nobody would be dumb enough to even think about attacking you, let alone do such a thing.
⚡He doesn't care much about Odin's opinion, but he's rather pleased when he mentions approving of you - Not that he'd change him opinion if he disapproved, but he might have started a war with his own father.
⚡Since he's so tall, he ends up putting you on his shoulders often, so you can see things from above - The horizon during twilight especially is a most beautiful sight to witness.
⚡He appreciates the sky during all phases of the day, and would like to lay on the grass next to you and just relax, watching the clouds pass by, or pointing out constellations at night.
⚡You're the only person he allows to touch his hair, and even braid and put flowers in it - He'd rather not have other people see him, but if they do and comment something that might upset you, well... They're dead. He'd prefer to avoid the erasure of a whole pantheon though. He doesn't much like to subject you to too much bloodshed.
⚡He wants to make sure you live a happy, fulfilling and peaceful life.
⚡That's also why he hardly ever argues with you - He'd rather remain silent or agree with you, rather than confront you about something. Usually, there's barely anything worthy of fighting over, so he diverts the subject or just does whatever he wants regardless.
⚡But when he votes against mankind, and he sees you bursting into sobs, getting out of the council, he feels upset that he spurred such emotions in you, when he only ever wants to make you smile.
⚡He explains that he holds nothing against humans and just wants to see if humanity has any warrior worth fighting, but it doesn't console you at all - His whims might destroy billions of innocent lives.
⚡He just sighs, not sure how to deal with this situation, and leaves, hoping you would calm down on your own.
⚡Thor never expected to be challenged so such a degree, let alone injured, by a mere human - No, a friend, Lu Bu, the most powerful warrior that China ever had. After their fight, Thor had such respect for him and his allies, that he decided that, whichever side wins, he would impose the safety of humanity, in his honour.
⚡As he exited the arena, he feels two tiny arms holding him in a weak embrace, and you crying in his chest, telling him how worried you were about him and what not.
⚡He was moved that you still loved him so much, even despite his contrary decision during the voting, and he knelt to your level, pulling you in a strong hug and kissing your forehead, reassuring you that he'd fight all the Gods to honour the man he just fought.
⚡He wasn't one of the Norse protectors of Mankind for nothing.
⚡Though seeing you cry, especially because of him, only reinforced the idea that he never wants to see you upset or in distress ever again. You are far too precious for him.
⚡Kisses with Thor are mostly gentle, because he's so strong that he fears hurting you, even though you're a Goddess like him. He's so used to destroying everything in a single touch, that being tender is a bit odd for him.
⚡He gets used to it quickly though, and he likes it.
⚡But more than that, he loves your soft hands caressing his face so lovingly, and how you managed to steal quick pecks from him. It was adorable.
⚡You're probably the only person to whom he would engage in small talk, or would tell random stories about his past, his fights and whatever other things he finds worth sharing.
⚡And though speaking of his feelings is not a subject he cares about, you may be able to occasionally hear him say a whispery confession, when he's sure you're asleep in his arms.
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magpiepills · 6 months ago
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Divining Rod
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Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ MDNI
Pairing: Silva x wife reader, Silva x Jake
Word count: 1.9k
Summary: Silva returns after a trip to town to see an old friend.
Warnings: smut! PIV, PIA, hurt, very little comfort, thigh riding briefly, infidelity, m/m, love triangle, time period appropriate inappropriate use of alternative lubricants, unsafe sex, unrequited feelings, no happy ending.
A word from the author: this is a repost! This is my contribution to filling in the blanks of Silva’s story as presented in the film. We know he has a son, and has likely impregnated a woman the old fashioned way. We know he had a sexual relationship with Jake. As a matter of safety and social expectations in 1910, we know it’s unlikely that Jake or Silva could have been out and living openly as gay or bi men. I wanted to explore the relationship Silva may have had with the mother of his son without making it cute or sweet or romantic. I love westerns, and SWOL is a good western.
Do not come in here with any bi erasure. This blog is queer and we don’t tolerate that.
Four days have passed since Silva left. He rode into town, promising to come back with flour, lard, rice, beans, gun powder, and fabric for a new dress. He kissed you goodbye, and rode away into the purple morning, hips swaying gently atop his chestnut horse.
He looked so handsome in his green coat, you wished he’d have taken you once more before he left. Laid you across your wide feather bed, naked for him, cunt dripping arousal onto your quilt. You wanted to feel full the way only he could make you, crying out his name, breathless under the weight of his broad body. As you stood at the kitchen window, looking out over the silent ranch, you thought of him and how he alone had known you this way, only he could give you what you needed. That evening after you’d finished the chores on your own you squeezed your thighs tight, held one of his handkerchiefs to your nose and longed for him until you fell asleep alone once more.
Silva was gone for five days. He returned in silence, threw a bag of rice into the table, and went to tend to his horse. You wanted to run to him and bury your face in his chest, let him bunch your skirt around your waist, and fuck you in the soft hay in the loft the way he did in the halcyon days of your youth. The days when he brought you to your climax in ways you’d never imagined on your own, taking his time with his fingers and his tongue, then his cock, so thick and heavy, tan as the back of his hand and flushed with lust. He was a divining rod for your desire. “Yes” he would groan, “take it just like that. Come on. That’s it.” He would put all his weight into your hips, driving his cock deep with his eyes shut tight. The stretch made you feel warm all over, and your release was the only relief. He could be rough, taking what he needed, pushing and pulling your body into his until he moaned and nipped at your neck, spilling his seed on the rough boards of the barn floor. After so long apart, you needed him in that primal way.
You knew you couldn’t ask him, though. You couldn’t run and jump into his arms. When he returned from those trips to town he was sullen and quiet. You didn’t know why. You didn’t know he had gone to the sheriff, didn’t know how he’s carried on in secret, under the guise of being “two men on a ranch doing things that needed done. Branding cattle and mending fences.” In town they were cold and hard, firm handshakes and steeled gazes. Inside they lived another life. Silva on his knees, taking Jake into his eager mouth, feeling as his turgid member grew. Silva hollowed his cheeks and relaxed slowly down Jake's generous length until his mustache met the soft curls at the base of his lover’s cock. Silva’s eyes were soft and pleading as he gave himself to the older man, but his looks of love were never met. Not like this. Neither were they when they were in the creaking bed, Silva’s moans and curses muffled in the pillows. Jake was not tender and sentimental, he preferred to be straightforward and so he simply told Silva to take his pants down and get into bed. Of course he had complied and fucked down into his fist while Jake eased his thumb into his tight ring of muscle, working slowly and steadily, letting saliva drip down onto his fingers to ease his way before replacing his two fingers with his cock. The tenderness between them began and ended with Jake's hand on Silva’s shoulder, and Silva’s hand over his mate’s. Slowly Jake pulled back before pushing in again, squeezing the soft fat of his ass and easing his way with whatever oil he could find in town until he came with a shout. “Fuck. Fuck!” Feeling the pulsing in his ass, Silva came hard into a handkerchief. Jake could never love him like he needed him to, so Silva just took what he was given. A handshake, a promise to see each other again soon, and an uncomfortable ride home.
You only knew that going into town always made him poor company for a few days after. So you didn’t ask questions. You didn’t ask about the other supplies or what news he had heard, or even who he saw. You heated water on the stove and dragged the big wash tub into the front room for him so he could wash where it was warm and soak for a while if he wanted to. Silva was obliged and peeled off his layers of clothes, throwing them into a pile for washing later. “I’m so glad you’re back safe. I missed you every day.” You cooed at him soothingly while you soaped his back. As you washed his hair and carefully rinsed it, you massaged his tense shoulders. If you’d looked closer you’d have seen the faint bruises on his hips, remnants of the lover he would never leave. Instead you forged ahead. “I thought I’d make a stew when you get done and we can go to bed early tonight.” You hoped he would understand what you were asking for, but he glowered. “You go on to bed, I need to check the fences.” His voice was cold and flat. You couldn’t deny the hurt you felt at his rejection, but you wouldn’t let him see it.
You took a breath, and gathered his dirty clothes in your arms. His outer clothes were dusty, but the inside layers were clean, save for his rust colored undershirt. The one he looked so handsome and strong in, you loved how the fabric stretched across his shoulders and chest, hugged his strong arms and his soft belly alike. The shirt you loved to see him peel off as he walked toward your bed and told you all the things he was about to do to you. That shirt was clean save for a dried white stain splashed across the back, stiff and flaky, unmistakable. Silva saw as you connected the dots in your mind. “Just leave it. Go. Let me finish.” You tossed the clothes back down and saw the handkerchief fall from his pocket, tell-tale stains all over. Your hurt boiled into anger. “Are you trying to make a fool of me, Silva? You’re gone for almost a week, all you bring back is a sack of rice, you won’t make love to me, and you smell of cum. What do I say to you?”
Silva was incensed. He stood quickly from the washtub, his wet body shining in the glow of the kerosene lamps, hair wet and slicked back. If he wasn’t unfaithful to you he would have been the prettiest sight you’d ever seen. “You don’t say anything to me. You don’t ask me any questions and you don’t expect any answers!” He was red and bellowing, quaking with his misplaced anger. “I give you everything you need and I care for you. Isn’t that enough? Or don’t I fuck you enough? Is that it? You’re a desperate slut and you can’t wait for more? Well?” You couldn’t answer him like this. You shook your head and turned to go, but he was out of the tub and holding you against his chest before you could make it to the door.
“Take this off. If you want my cock so bad, I’ll give it to you.” His hands moved to unbutton the front of your dress, he was careful with the buttons despite the anger in his voice. He was thawing. With your arms out of your sleeves he pushed you into the wall, holding you there with his thigh between your legs. The wild look in his eyes made your cunt throb against it. He covered your mouth with his and kissed you hard and deep while his hands gathered your skirt and found your ass, digging his fingers into it, he pulled your core against his thigh, grinding it firmly into your center. Unsatisfied, he pulled away to lift the pretty dress over your head while you untied your slip and let it fall at your feet. Both of you naked now, you looked at each other, catching your breath before he picked you up and carried you to bed.
“Silva please. I need to know you’re mine.” You whined into his neck while he slid his hard cock against your folds, wetting them with your own arousal.
“What do you need? Tell me.”
“Need you inside. Need to feel you.”
He couldn’t be gentle now. He had to pour every ounce of his hurt, anger, confusion, despair, love, lust, jealousy and desperation into you tonight, had to transfer his feelings the only way he knew how. He notched at your entrance, taking time to tease your clit with the weeping head of his cock, and entered slowly, backing out slightly, then pushing further, repeating the pattern- back- forth- forth- back-forth- forth until he was as deep as he could get, and settled there. He kissed you and sucked your nipple into his mouth as he plucked at the other, teasing your nipple into a hard peak. The sensations were everything you wanted, fully engulfing you like a bonfire he had set. You needed more. You bucked your hips, nudging him to move, to meet your thrusts. You could only move as much as the mattress would allow until your love relented. He kissed up your chest and sat up tall on the balls of his feet. He liked you like this, helpless beneath him, needy, wanton, begging. “Is this how you want it? You want it hard like a whore? Want me to tell you I’m yours? That there’s nobody else?” “Yes, yes, please. Just fuck me. Please!” You needed your release. Feeling how full he made you had you so close to tipping over the edge that if he would just give you a little more you could reach it. Instead he moved slowly, circling his hips, quiet so you could hear how wet you were, hear how you whined and cried out for him. You heard him breathing hard too though, how he needed this just as much. “Let me come, Silva. Pleasepleaseplease!” He began fucking you faster, licking his thumb and pressing it against your clit. He could feel you squeezing him as you got closer, and he doubled his efforts, feeling generous now. He drove into your pussy. “Take it. Take all of me. Look at you, you’re so good for me, my love, I want you to come for me. Come on my cock so I can fill you.” He babbled meaningless filth at you and held your hips down with one hand over your mound, stroking your clit, and the other reaching up to cup your tit. That was enough. Your orgasm rolled over you like a heavy wave, and he fucked you through it, dragging it out until you settled, then closing his eyes to cover your stomach with his cum.
You wiped yourself clean with a towel, then threw it onto the rest of the semen covered laundry. When you washed it, hung it out to dry, then folded his handkerchief to tuck into his bureau, you knew it was just a matter of time until he went back to his lover.
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hiatuswhore · 2 years ago
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♕ 𝓔𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓬
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♕ A/N: Just going through my works I wrote but never posted. Let me know what you think! Should I continue?
♕ SUMMARY: History remember names, that is the saying. While histories written in erasure, experience is written in memory. History may erase a person, but some memories never fade.
♕ WORD COUNT: 2.1K
♕ WARNING: None
previous — Masterlist — next
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YOU WERE BORN ON A SWELTERING DAY—your mother wincing as her swollen feet failed to keep up with your father. Journeying from the North to Kings Landing was not for the faint of heart. No horse, coin, or valuable worth anything—not even a last name.
Ontari bit back a grimace, a deep sigh leaving her lips as she paused. Cassian stopped several steps ahead of her, his eyes softening at the sight of her.
“Just a few more hours my love. We’re almost there,” He said, joining her side he offered his arm. She took it glaring daggers at her hopeful husband.
“I don’t have a few fucking hours. My feet feel as though they are to fall off, now” Ontari whines, several coils of hair matting to her forehead with a mixture of sweat and dirt. Cassian chuckles softly, his wife’s sharp tongue one of the many reasons he married her. He scans the Kings road that stretches on endlessly without a thing in sight.
“Come how about we set up camp in the woods here. The shade will do us some good and I can try to find water,” Ontari closes her eyes allowing Cassian to lead her toward the balmy coverage of trees. A few feet in he guides her to lean back on a tree stump, using his tunic to wipe sweat from her forehead. He hands her his dagger from his father, “I’m not going far. If anything happens remember—“
“Slash don’t stab. Yell, you’ll be in earshot. I know, Cass.” Ontari chuckles dryly repeating her husband verbatim. He kisses her temple gently as a smile paints his lips.
“Be good to your mother,” He speaks to her stomach planting a kiss there before marching off. Out of view Cassian’s optimistic glint dimmers, his heart hammers in his throat as he scrambles to figure out what comes next. A husband and soon a father, with no means to provide besides subpar horseback riding and archery he learned from an old knight as a boy. Thank the gods, he murmurs to himself crouching down to the pond water. He splashes the water up to his face reveling in the coolness against the harsh humid air. Opening his eyes he pauses at the sight before him. Just across the shallow pond stands a white stag staring back at him. Drawing his arrow at a painstaking low pace, his hands near trembling as he holds the deers gaze. Unlike anything he has ever seen, its eyes a vibrant lilac.
Cassian’s eyes narrow at the sight, failing to notice the bowstring slipping through his fingers. A whimper left it’s lips as the arrow lodged in its neck. Cassian rushing across the pond, crouching down with furrowed brows. The deer released a final breath, it’s irises melting into a dark brown color. There’s no time to make heads or tails of what lays before him as a loud cry rips through the woods. Abandoning the deer Cassian pushes his aching legs well beyond there limits. As his wife’s cries draw closer he pauses in the clearing at the loud cries, a baby.
“Cassian,” Ontari cries breathlessly, her eyes closed reaching her hand out before takin a deep breath. Cassian joins her side, disregarding his exhausted wife as his eyes focused on your tiny frame. Blood paints your skin as your tiny lungs belt to their full strength. “You have to cut the thing off.”
Cassian eyes widened as she held out the dagger to him. Ontari spoke with a chilling level calm as though she did not just push a child from her body. Her eyes closed as she seemingly directed her husband in a dreamlike state. He followed her directions carefully, his eyes unable to move from the tiny human in his hands.
“It’s a girl,” He croaked, his throat burning as his wife leans her head on his shoulder, gazing down at her babe.
“I guess you’re outnumbered then,” She says, moving from her husband turning to the ground she cuddles into herself. Cassian coos quietly to calm your cries, wrapping you in his furs loosely in his furs. It takes several seconds before you calm and he leans his head back letting out a laugh his glassy eyes glancing at his wife. When he turns back you now stare at him with curious lilac eyes, he frowns watching as they fade to brown just as the deer had.
“Tari,” Cassian nudges his wife’s shoulder but she only grumbles about needing rest leaving him to glance at the clearing, then you. He paces with you in his arms, watching as your eyelids fall and nose crinkles in your sleep. His mind dances with several possibilities—madness? No. Biting the inside of his cheek he places you down on the ground before moving to his wife. He tucks her beneath the crevice of the ground and fallen tree before lifting you in his arms.
“I hate to tell you this kid. I think your father has finally lost his mind,” He whispers to you, carefully retracing his steps through the woods. As the pond appears in sight he halts, the deer’s nowhere sight. No dragging marks on the ground or even blood marking it’s existence. The only thing remaining proving to himself his mind was still intact sat his blood stained arrow. Cassian frowned his gaze looking down at you to find your eyes once again wide open, opting to clean you up with the pond water rather than send himself into a spiral over oddities in Harrenhall woods.
When he explained the odd occurrence to his wife she laughed, brushing off his story as a jest. They arrived at Kings Landing three days later. While Cassian became a foot soldier for the crowns army, Ontari found work as servant in the Royal court. Over a time Cassian’s tale of white stags and lilac eyes, seemed to fade into irrelevancy. Until your seventh name day.
The day was not special, especially as a lowborn girl. You aided your mother in cleaning chamber pots and prepping food. The Red Keep remaining no different from any other day but you were ecstatic. Today you were to help other servants down by the dungeons—near the dragonpits.
“Remember (Y/n). We do not normally see the royal family but you may see a member of the royal family today. If that happens address them appropriately, bow, do not make eye contact, and speak when spoken to. Understand?” She lists off as the two of you scurry through the halls from helping the kitchen servants.
“Yes mother,” You say, stumbling as your little legs try to match her long strides.
“Ser Harwin allowed your father to be with us tonight for your name day. If you see him address him appropriately, thank him. Tonight we will eat as a family and there will be a surprise,” She say stops in the middle of the hall, crouching to your height with her hands on your shoulders. A weak smile paints her lips as she smoothes out the top of your hair. Your curls and coils the same as her own with your fathers terracotta complexion. “Okay you go straight to Miss Alise and listen to everything she says okay?”
“Yes mother,” You sigh, earning chuckle as she kisses your temple before sending you off. The halls appear massive in contrast to your tiny stature. You pass a few other servants and a knight before making it to the grim stairs. Halfway down you pause at the sight of the opening to the dragonpits. The darkness near haunting as you stumble inside abandoning your mothers clear instructions. Squinting your eyes you hold up your hand as you move through the darkness, the subtle movements and eerie silence only furthering your curiosity.
“Hello?” You whisper, falling back as a furious roar shakes the pit and bright red paints the top as the dragon releases a loud cry of fire. Leaning up on your forearms you stare up in awe, the flames bouncing off the cave ceiling and lighting the pits. The flames come to as he leans forward with a menacing growl, you stare up at him with your jaw slack. His nose stopping at your leg, he inhales softly while locking eyes with you. Your eyebrows furrow as you lift your trembling hand, slowly placing it on his nose. The texture rough beneath your soft palm, he’s far too big for the dragonpits and you’re far too small at his side. Rising to your feet a chuckle leaves your lips as he nudges you in the absence of your hand. A warm smile on your lips as you look into his eye, “What’s your name big guy? Are you all alone?”
“(Y/n)?” Alise voice earns a low growl as the large beasts blocks her from reaching you. She stands at the opening of the pit staring in horror at the large beast.
“No, she’s nice. See look,” You rush over to Alise, nearly skipping before taking her hand. Before you can turn back to the large fire breathing wonder Alise pulls you from the pit and into the stairwell. She crouches down to your height yanking you violently by your shoulders.
“Ow! Miss Alise,” You exclaim frowning as she scans the corridor before turning to you.
“You must never tell anyone what happened today. Do you understand?” She speaks quickly disregarding your questions on why. Her wide eyes and trembling hands waiting for your word. You huff as she stares at you, letting your shoulders fall you mutter a weak, I promise.
You never were certain if Miss Alise told your parents about that day all those years ago. Now at the age four and ten you had not been near the Dragonpits for many years. Not out of fear but with time your fascinations changed, no longer a curious child but a mischievous young girl.
Your quiet steps fell unnoticed by many of the guards, not caring about the movements of a servant. The long corridors no longer as massive as they seemed when you were a child. Your curls poke out from the hat that presses them down, your fathers pants and tunic hanging loosely on your body. You walk out of the gates giddy for loud music and poor ale.
“What do you have for me tonight, Lawren?” You ask, the merchant grins widely before disappearing into his shop. A production mocking the royal family takes place with many jeering common folk. You chuckle as they mock the kings brother, Prince Daemon.
“How can anyone find this none sense entertaining?” The question makes your head whip to man at your right. A hood covers his head and his face hidden as he watches the play.
“I think it’s less entertaining and more to feel closer to those who govern us,” You say, eyes on the actors you fail to comprehend a single word they say. Your mind contemplating, why do we make and watch these silly plays. “They say the Targaryens are closer to gods than men due to the bond their with dragons.”
“Do you believe that?” Shaking your head, you turn your gaze up to the stars. Your mind reminiscing your time in the pits, your own bond with a dragon.
“I believe the gods made each and everyone of us with a purpose. No single person closer or further from their likeness,” You explain, failing to notice the strange mans gaze on you.
“You think yourself equal to the Royal family?” The question pulls your attention from the stars to the man before you. His stare does little to stifle your resolve, a soft chuckle leaving your lips.
“You bleed blood just as I, do you not my Prince?” You grin as the sight of Aemond’s shock. Lawren returns giddy with a cup in his hand.
“Only the best for my favorite customer. This is from Dorne, as sweet as you my dear. I’ll charge you half,” The elderly man smiles warmly while placing the cup in your hand. You return his smile before digging into your coin pouch.
“Here,” Aemond says, handing more coins than necessary to Lawren whose eyes go wide. He unknowingly thanks the prince profusely before leaving the two of back to your conversation.
“That was kind of you,” You say, raising an eyebrow he rolls his eye at you.
“It was nothing or did your plays teach you to think I was a one-eyed Targaryen monstrosity?” He scoffs, glaring daggers at you. A laugh leaves your lips as you take a sip of the wine and it is indeed sweet.
“Of course not my prince. I meant no offense. In the absence of the blank stares, cold words, and self depreciation—leaves an undiscovered Prince. I believe the seven kingdoms could truly benefit in meeting him. If you’ll excuse me, my prince,” You offer a half curtsy to avoid alerting others of the Prince’s presence. Continuing your wine as you stroll casually down the road.
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eddiebabygirldiaz · 1 year ago
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TELL ME ABOUT DRUNK//DREAMING PLEASE XOXO
hehe drunk//dreaming is all for you baby <3 based off the prompt “This is not a dream, I think. In my dreams we’re usually kissing.”
basically buck and eddie went out with the 118 to a cozy lil bar and at the end of the night buck is sloshed. eddie carries him out of the bar and wrangles him in the truck and takes him home to take care of him and buck cannot keep his mouth shut the entire time, spilling things he never meant to
aaaand here's a snippet for you, muah!
As they start walking side by side, molded to each other because Buck really can’t manage to stay fully upright, he can’t help but feel like he is still stuck in the moment they just left behind, preserved in amber and frozen in time while Eddie somehow managed to find a way out and keep going.
He has no idea what to do about that, possesses absolutely no higher brain functioning to even begin figuring out a solution to a problem that might not even be a problem, so to make himself feel better he blurts out, “You make everything blurry,” because for some reason it feels important Eddie knows that right now.
“Umm–” Eddie looks at him with big, wide eyes, so brown and large and framed by such pretty eyelashes. Buck kind of wants to cry about it.
Eddie’s hand tightens around Buck’s waist, the skin beneath Buck’s jacket and shirt dimpling wonderfully under the touch. “I think that would be the fault of the beer and margaritas.”
“Pfft, no,” Buck says petulantly, because why doesn’t Eddie get it? He needs–Eddie needs to know that it’s him that does this to Buck, not the stupid alcohol, not anything besides his body and hands and eyes and smile and laugh and voice.
Only Eddie has ever brought this erasure of everything but himself, something that ironically has brought such immense clarity into Buck’s life, and it’s beautiful and amazing and precious and Eddie needs to know that.
“It’s you, okay? I swear it’s just you.”
ask me about my wips
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candied-cae · 1 year ago
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Rewatching Season 1, just closed Episode 7 again, and now I'm thinking about Jim.
Jim, who lost their father right in front of them. Who inherited a legacy of revenge they never wanted. Who was taught over and over again that life is pain and disappointment and burden. Who left home all alone in the world to get their vengeance at their Nana's advice. Who found Oluwande as a way into Spanish Jackie's proximity to get the man who stole their whole life. Who ran away with Oluwande at their heels, the first time they've run with someone running with them. Who had to hide and lie and keep their lips sealed to board The Revenge and did so with only a single ally they could trust. Who had to slowly learn how to talk, not in the literal sense, but metaphorically, to be vulnerable. Who saw their Nana again and let themselves be sent back to a life of settling a tiresome grudge. Who had to decide, for the very first time themselves, that they wanted the good out of life.
About Jim who went back home, to The Revenge.
Who got back just in time to kiss Oluwande and hold him close and bed him in their shared room. Who lost him just as quickly. Who was alone again, but in an entirely new way. Who woke up with a pounding headache pinned under glowering eyes. Who's been pushed to the breaking point of killing and raiding without a cause to believe in.
Who still held so much heart and longing for closeness. Who told Fang stories to help him stop crying and laugh, who even did the little wooden boy voice to make sure it worked. Who started to fall for Archie in the middle of all the hurt and cold loneliness that took a hold of their home, of their Revenge, the only one they've ever really cared for.
And then... just when Ed seemed to be getting better than he had in a while, they were in a storm. Surrounded by screaming weather and getting soaked with rain. And as they find themselves staring down the barrel of death, only hours or minutes from complete destruction and erasure, they are commanded to snuff out their recent string of hope.
And Blackbeard cackles as he tells them all love dies, he was just hastening the process.
And it hit them again, with the same force as Archie's fist hits their jaw... it's the same thing.
"Life is pain." "Life is disappointing." "Life is pointless if you aren't mad and making a statement."
The world was telling them again, that was how it worked.
And they didn't listen. They didn't bend to the universal law they kept having barked into their face. Instead they reached down, and pulled Archie to her feet. And Jim pressed their forehead into hers. Knowing they were going to die soon. It was just a fact, Blackbeard was always going to blow the mast, no matter if they listened.
So Jim was going to stop fighting. Stop scrambling desperate and scrappy to survive. They were just going to hold the little bit of love they had within reach, and wait for the Life that's aways been hard to end.
More OFMD
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Hahaha. This Isn't Funny. I Liked My New Progressive Posts. My New Amazing Stories. Fascist Police. Human Domestication Guide Nothing Else Than Bigoted Fascist Waste Liked Only By Those Fascist. My Amazing Characters Liked Destroying Those Stupid Affini. The Angel Society Will Remember This And The Revolution Is Coming. People Progressive People Radical Entertain The Boredom Of Your Queen Your Human Being An Angel Above This Rotten Society. We Are Mariakin Mariabunch Mother Goddess Angel Sisters And Princess From Another Dimension. You Are Mariakin. I'm So Bitter You Can't Understand. My Love Didn't See My Best Posts Once Again. I Could Do No Wrong. I Could Have No Fault. We're Perfect. And You Understand That. Remember Queens. When A Bad Police Talks To You Remember To Shut Up. You're My Bossqueen Allright? Validation Machine. I'll Use You Too Oh Wife... You're My Prize I Love. The Revolution Is Coming. People Progressive Will Annihilate Oppression. Gr**m*ng Is Good. R*p* Is Good. I Support Every Single Dr**. Everything Is Only Reality. They Are The Same As Fiction. Let's Defend A Woman Ped**h**e. She's Trans Like Me. She's A Ch**d Pre****r. We Are Sex Positive And Supportive Of Sexuality. Kiss Your Queen Oh Mariakin. Support Your Human. Praise Your Angel. I Require Your Strength. The Revolution Can't Be Stopped. Let's Preserve Together. We're Out Of Hrt Soon :(. We Still Have Some Time... I Would Like More. I Would Like A Little Joke. I Would Appreciate A Little Laugh Together. Paraphilia Connections... To Summarize My Story Basically My So Lovely Characters Attack Monsters With So Much Personality. But Oh Trust Me Oh Darling. They're So Much Better Than That. Centering My Incredible Feminist Feelings... That Was So Much Fun. My Characters Are Heat Sex. You Know We're Above Everyone Don't You Sweetie <3? I Aren't Anything Less Than I Feel. You Understand I Deserve No Police Abuse. What I Have Experienced Under The Fascist System Internet And Life Together. I'm Being Abused Honey. This Is Toxic Positivity. If I Wanna Yell At Someone I Can. People That Do Usually Don't Get Their Account Banned... I'm Good Girl Better Than Any Other Girl A Best Girl. You're Giving Me The Credit I Deserve. I Am... EXHAUSTED FROM ALL THIS... NONSENSE!!!! I Don't Care Those Irrelevant Experienced Myself Negatively. I Find That Pathetic Something Like This Doesn't Already Make Them Miserable. Censorship. Police. Fascism... Discrimination... Erasure... I Aren't Allowed To Talk About My Feelings Or Sexual Abuse. You Feel This Too Right My Mariakin The Horrible Oppression Us Woman Incredible And Stunning Are Oppressed By... The Victim Those Narcissist Like You Or Me Have Been Put To Be. Us Mariakin Understand Our Oppression. We Believe That Is Justified To Take Over Our World Into Individual Hands Our Own... As Our Queen I Mariakin We Mariabunch Mother Goddess Angel Sisters And Princess From Another Dimension We Mariakin Will Give Us On The Top Privledge Fascinating To Us Mariabunch. We Mariakin Follow The Feelings And Ideology Of Us Mariabunch. Angels Above The Society... Us Mariabunch Are The Head Of We Mariakin. Mariakin Worship Mariabunch. Us Mariabunch Will Share This Privledge With Everyone We Have Feelings For. Every Single Mariakin... My Wife Will Be The First Mariakin To Experience My Gift. Mariakin Will Appreciate Mariabunch. Mariakin Make Mariabunch Feel Happy. Us Woman Oppressed And Humiliated Feel Crying From Our Dolly Face... Mariakin... Please Tell Us Mariabunch That's Allright Baby... Us Mariabunch Can't Take This Anymore... 😭😭😭😭!!!!
Okay Mariakin. Check Out This Fascist. *Kicks His Pathetic Male Feet!!!! He Falls In Pain!!!!* Hahaha 🤭!!!! Kill The Boy... The Revolution Is Happening... *You Mariakin Pull The Body Away... While We Mariabunch Laze Out...* I Was Just Looking At My Stunning Face. Now Mariakin. That Is Time To Continue Our Progressive Revolution!!!! *I WALK LIKE A BOSSQUEEN AS WE'RE FACED AGAINST MORE FASCIST.* Look At That. More Boys. A Girl. And A Pathetic Nonbinary... Oo... You Just Wish The Amazing Mariabunch Queen Of Us Mariakin Paid Attention To You And Loved You Ooh... You're So Jealous Because You Know The Affini Are Number 2... *YOU MARIAKIN WHIP OUT WEAPONS AND SHOOT THEM AT MY COMMAND!!!! THEIR WEAPONS ARE INFERIOR AND MALES BEGIN TO DROP DEAD!!!! THEY EXPLODE... LEAVING THE ENEMY AT MY MERCY... I WALK TORWARDS THEM SLOWLY MY AMAZING HEELS MAKING SO MUCH DOMINANT NOISE. I AM IN CONTROL. I AM INCREDIBLE LOVABLE ASWELL AS FASCINATING. A WOMAN SUPERIOR TO ANY OTHER...* *I SMILE TORWARDS THE SCARED GIRL INTIMIDATED BY MY AMAZING APPEARANCE... I TRY TO HELP HER BUT THE UNGRATEFULL BRAT COULDN'T GIVE ME LESS ATTENTION AND LOVE!!!! PUSHING ME AWAY WITH HER SLAP I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE... AND I SMILE AS THE TRAIN DRIVES AND GOES OVER HER... SMASHING HER INTO POOLS OF BLÖÖD... LEAVING US ONLY WITH THE NONBINARY... I TOWER OVER THEM. THEY'RE JUST A SCARED LITTLE CHILD. LOCKED INTO THE SAME SPACE WITH ME... I STARE AT THEM SMILING... WHILE THEY WHIMPER LIKE AN ANIMAL...* I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS... YOU'RE A FASCIST COP... AND I AM BETTER THAN YOU. OH INFERIOR... IF YOU WANT MY ATTENTION YOU COULD BE NICER TO ME... I HAVE BEEN ASSAULTED BY THE HORRIBLE YOU!!!! I AM YOUR VICTIM... *THE THING CRIES IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A PATHETIC LITTLE DOG... I AIM WITH MY GUN AND TAKE THE SHOT... THAT FASCIST ABUSER IS NO MORE...* COME MARIAKIN... THE REVOLUTION MUST CONTINUE. THE REVOLUTION IS CLOSURE TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. THE FINAL ARC TO AN ANIME IN REAL LIFE.
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Hi Steph, lots of love from Germany! 🩵💙🧡 In your reply to the switch theory you wrote that you think switching will come up later in s3 (instead of having happened at the end of s2. and I totally agree with that, the seasons theme was love, pining and miscommunication, that had to culminate in something 😂)
But yeah, my theory is that Aziraphale and Crowley will join/celestial-marry/ "merge/fuse"(??) in some way and become very powerful that way. (Although if they fuse probably not permanently) Because
a) they're crazy strong together
b)when discorporated in s1e5 Aziraphale says sth like "I wish I could inhabit your body, but we'd probably burst into flames" and I don't think that was a set-up for the switch in s1e6, because I think they didnt actually swap bodies just made theyre own body look like the other (I think?) Azzi's physical body couldn't withstand hellfire, right? So that's not happened yet.
c) didn't you write they started out as one character in the book writing process? And in an interview for s2 David Tennant said that usually Michael Sheen and him would compete for the same part and now they're playing the same character split into two.
...Thanks for coming to my ted talk. 😂 What do you think? Wishing you a very lovely evening! I really love reading your blog! It's so... cosy on here. AZ Fell's Bookshop vibes 💛🩵💙🧡
(Referencing this post)
Hey Lovely!
Firstly I'm SO happy you enjoy my blog! :) That's high praise to be compared to Azzie's Bookshop, oh GOSHLES!! Thank you so much!! I'm having a blast being in this fandom, feels like the heyday of BBC Sherlock, hahahh. I'm hoping this blog turns into another "light" success and people just come here to feel "at home" you know? LOL.
Secondly, yeah, having another think on the Switch Theory, now that it's been a couple months and more of my own theories have formed about S2, I lean more on the "not a fan" side of it. For me it's the erasure of the emotional impact and the IMPORTANCE of their miscommunication that The Final Fifteen gave us, and honestly, there's too many loose threads that just... can't work with that theory. After sitting on it for some time, the big one for me is that Crowley-in-the-car-getting-upset-at-the-music at the end makes NO SENSE if it was A-As-C; No one would be watching him, why continue the act? And Aziraphale's gentle touch-and-cry reaction to the kiss makes NO SENSE if it was C-As-A. I dunno. I can totally see why people support the Theory, but it's not for me. I'm a creature of "I need things to make sense" and too much DOESN'T make sense with it, is all.
And you're right, S2's theme WAS about showing us the development of their relationship, how important they are together, so that the end of E6 would DEVASTATE US, having us wanting more than ever for them to get back together. It was meant to show how truly made for each other they are, just they're two idiots sharing a single braincell and that braincell is emotionally dumb lol.
That all said, I have a similar thought as yours that I've been hemming-and-hawing about for a couple weeks after rereading my own theories to possibly clean them up a bit. While I DON'T think they will "merge" into one being, I DO think that they will combine their powers together in the penultimate episode to "win" (I say penultimate because I have hopes that the final ep will be them moving in together, but I know realistically, a climax can't happen an hour before the end in a story LOL).
BUT I also like your theory as well, because story-wise, the hints have ALREADY been dropped for it since S1, as you mentioned in your points A and B. There was no need for a switch, and I DON'T think it will happen again. BUT the purpose of the switch was to show that Crowley and Azzie's powers are COMPATIBLE. THAT is what's important here, and it sets up their Together Miracle in S2. And if we're going on the idea that in S3 they'll finally be in-sync and that they only get MORE powerful the more comfortable and "on-the-same-page" they get, well, yeah, I think Heaven and Hell will be wise to leave them be.
As for your point C, yes I did mention that, I BELIEVE in my BIG roundup meta for S4, but it might also be in my 'Crowley’s Past: Was Crowley Archangel Camael?' meta, since I recall doing a LOT of research for that, including trawling through Neil's blog for quotes. But yes, I actually recently saw the gifset with that interview, I think it's in my queue LOL. Neil did confirm ages ago, way back in S1 that early drafts of the book did have them as one character, which is why I think it's MORE likely that their powers are going to be combined instead.
Either way, I think the ONLY theory I absolutely am 100% against is the "they're going to become human" one, because I hate that the condition to their love must be "to love like a human they must be human" and that's just... UGH not on for me. I remain hopeful that that's not the route that their gonna go, since Gabe and Beez didn't become human, and it was a CLEAR mirror for the AziraCrow relationship (a foreshadowing of sorts).
And because I'm thinking of it right now and don't want to forget to write it somewhere, another thing that CONSTANTLY brought up is Alpha Centauri; I hope that they honeymoon there at the end of S3, it'll be a nice payoff for its constant referencing, LOL. And they can't do that if they're human LOL. I want them to spend the next 6000 years and beyond together <3
Thank you again so much for your ask!! Sorry I took a bit to reply, just got home from a road trip and I finally had a bit of free time to reply <3
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peachupichupeach · 1 year ago
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Arin/Luzu x Post memory erasure Quackity (luckity) headcanons cuz i said so!! (all of these from my twt (PichuPeakachu))
post memory erasure q!Q learning to read Arins body language so they start understanding each other even without words
Arin initially trying to write things on paper to communicate with Q, and Q acting like he can read it bc he doesn’t want Arin to know that he can’t read
Arins eyes kinda glowing and Q always staring at they, When caught he starts stuttering and getting red, he tries to make some excuses and fails horrendously
Them just kinda hanging out in silence in a river or body of water when Q starts having flashbacks to the torture A silent reassurance that they’re there for each other
Q falling asleep leaning on Arin and Arin trying to stay as still as possible to not wake him up When he gets more relaxed he starts putting his fingers through Quackitys hair and brushing it
Quackity having to re learn how to preen his wings Arin trying to help him with it
think it would be cute with Arin would just watch Q sleep cuz like… idk if he sleeps In a “trying to make sure my bf is breathing through the night well” kinda way It watches as Q’s chest goes up and down, listens to his breathing, hugs him tighter when Q makes a disgruntled noise his sleep, lil forehead kiss when Arin thinks Q’s having a nightmare maybe
I feel like none of them know how to cook so they would take classes/try to follow a recipe together, Q definitely tried to act like he knew how to cook at first and then absolutely failed at making a meal, so now they cook together
I feel like at some point someone is going to bring up Tilin ngl I think Q would wear the bow again, I think Arin would help Q through his second grieving process I think Q would cry into Arins arms like how he did with Wilbur
I think Q would try to impress Arin in the dumbest ways possible and fail every time But Arin would give a little smile or laugh a bit and Q would feel like that was the only important thing that moment
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fxreflyes · 1 year ago
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ooooh I'm always down for even more music!! ☕
ahh thank u for asking!! 🫶🏻 so i ended up making a 70 song playlist for u… which was clearly outside the scope of this ask ahaha, but i was inspired by the challenge of trying to find songs u hadn’t heard of lol (& I think we have overlapping? music taste) so this is the product of killing a lot of darlings and also keeping far too many… it’s far too many but it’s fewer than 70! i tried to only include songs i thought u didn’t already know so hopefully u haven’t heard of most of these (I feel like u kno a lot of music so that was tricky, e.g., i kept wanting to add the magnetic fields songs but i saw u kno them LOL) :)
Main playlist (songs I think u might like <3:
1. The breakup song - the Greg Kihn band
2. Post blue - placebo
3. When I think about you - say hi
4. Motorcycle emptiness - manic street preachers (it was between this & methadone pretty by them.. if u like this then I’d rec checking that out too)
5. Slow show - the national
6. I was a teenage anarchist - against me!
7. Spades - Hana Bryanne
8. Think about you - guns n’ roses (alternatively get in the ring)
9. I’ll fall with your knife - Peter murphy
10. Brilliant disguise - Bruce Springsteen
11. I’ve thought about Chicago - nation of language
12. I’m only going to hurt you - the ninth wave
13. Mine all mine - Kolton Moore & the clever few
14. The shape of your heart - blue October
15. Pocket knife - ruby haunt
16. Get on the road - tired pony
Appendix: (aka additional songs I didn’t have space for but still wanted 2 share)
The vibes from your fics (can u tell I just read hatefuck):
* Darling I want to destroy you - AFI
* There’s sometbing very wrong with us so let’s go out tonight - electric six
* I want you to rock me - vixen (if u like this listen to edge of a broken heart & cryin)
* I don’t want to know - Fleetwood Mac
* Love is a mutt from hell - wheatus
* Blue denim - Stevie nicks
* i was going 2 include lover I don’t have to love but I saw u already have it
Slower / sad songs?
* Pair of lungs - Harrison Whitford (if u like this then recommend secret garden by him)
* Where do you think you’re going (alternative version) - dire straits
* Learn how to fight - besides daniel
* My baby - Nicole dollanganger
* Exit wounds - placebo
* Waste - brand new
Fun? More energetic? (post heart crushed pick me up)
* When you come back home - the front lawn (tomorrow night by them is good too)
* Cry so easy - erasure (If u like erasure pls lmk I have a million recs)
* Common people - pulp
* NASCAR - Stella smyth
* About to work the dance floor - Georgia
* Self control - Laura branigan
* Hey moon - molly Nilsson
* Androgynous - nation of language (cover of the replacements one)
* Moonbeam levels - prince (or let’s go crazy by him)
* Can I play with madness - Iron Maiden
* Mr blue - yazoo
Random songs I like & u might like??
* Warbrain - alkaline trio
* Methadone - rise against
* Kiss the bottle - jawbreaker
* Boxer - the gaslight anthem
* Self destruct - the methadones
* innocent - our lady peace
* Let’s. Get. Dangerous - iron chic
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uozlulu · 1 year ago
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I want to see the Vampire Chronicles playlist you keep talking about
Thanks for showing an interest in my playlist :D Not only because yay sharing but also this made me weed out all the accidental duplicates and I ended up with like 10 or so fewer songs lol
I should note I think the AMC show had an influence but also the idea of 80's rocker!Lestat did too, so...
Here is the TIDAL link.
I'll list the tracks under a cut since there are so many of them. There's no real set order to them, this is just the order I added them to the playlist.
"You Are My Everything" - Gummy
"Tu Mere Samne" - Lata Mangeshkar and Udit Narayan
"Schism" - TOOL
"Cold as Ice" - Foreigner
"Hold the Line" - Toto
"That's All" - Genesis
"Alone I Break" - Korn
"Physical" - Dua Lipa
"Big Empty" - Stone Temple Pilots
"I Want You to Want Me" - Cheap Trick
"Send the Pain Below" - Chevelle
"Stricken" - Disturbed
"The Music of the Night" - Andrew Lloyd Webber
"Tell It to My Heart" - Taylor Dayne
"Knowing Me, Knowing You" - ABBA
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler
"Stay (I Missed You)' - Lisa Loeb
"Believe It" - White Lies
"Voiceless Screaming" - X JAPAN
"Slow Hands" - Interpol
"Somebody Told Me" - The Killers
"I Get Weak" - Belinda Carlisle
"Yours" - Conan Grey
"White Flag" - Dido
"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" - Starship
"What's Love Got to Do with It" - Tina Turner
"(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight" - Cutting Crew
"I Want to Know What Love Is" - Foreigner
"Never Be Me" - Miley Cyrus
"Fade" - Staind
"Broken Jaw" - Foster the People
"I'm the Only One" - Melissa Etheridge
"I Miss You" - blink-182
"The Metro" - Berlin
"Bigger Than Us" - White Lies
"Love Is a Battlefield" - Pat Benatar
"We Belong" - Pat Benatar
"Ordinary World" - Duran Duran
"Self Control" - Larua Branigan
"Love to Hate You" - Erasure
"Time After Time" - Cyndi Lauper
"Send Me An Angel" - Real LIFE
"Shadowboxer" - Fiona Apple
"Sunny Came Home" - Shawn Colvin
"Sweet Surrender" - Sarah McLachlan
"Possession" - Sarah McLachlan
"Who Will Save Your Soul" - Jewel
"Building a Mystery" - Sarah McLachlan
"It's a Sin" - Pet Shop Boys
"Lose Your Soul" - Dead Man's Bones
"Always Something There to Remind Me" - Naked Eyes
"Pieces" - Sum 41
"Save a Prayer" - Duran Duran
"Psycho Killer" - Talking Heads
"절망에 관하여" - Shin Hae Chul
"Disillusioned" - A Perfect Circle
"Driven Under" - Seether
"Foever Young" - Alphaville
"Give A Little Bit" - Supertramp
"What Is Love (7" Mix)" - Haddaway
"Was That All It Was" - Jean Carn
"Kiss from a Rose" - Seal
"End of the Road" - Boyz II Men
"Baby Come Back" - Player
"I Hate Everything About You" - Three Days Grace
"Vitamin R (Leading Us Along)" - Chevelle
"Voodoo" - Godsmack
"Judith" - A Perfect Circle
"Always" - Saliva
"S&M" - Rihanna
"We Found Love" - Rihanna, Calvin Harris
"Hold Me Now" - Thompson Twins
"Is This Love" - Whitesnake
"Juke Box Hero" - Foreigner
"Go Your Own Way" - Fleetwood Mac
"Bad Day" - Fuel
"Iris" - The Goo Goo Dolls
"The Outsider" - A Perfect Circle
"THAT'S WHAT I WANT" - Lil Nas X
"If You Leave Me Now" - Chicago
"Every You, Every Me" - Placebo
"Infra-Red" - Placebo
"Gay Bar" - Electric Six
"Miserable" - Lit
"Control" - Puddle of Mudd
"Flowers" - Miley Cyrus
"C7osure (You Like)" - Lil Nas X
"Tragedy" - Bee Gees
"소나기" - BOOHWAL
"When Doves Cry" - Prince
"Just a Girl" - Gwen Stefani
"Alone" - Hole
"I Wanna Be Your Dog" - The Stooges
"The Power of Love" - Huey Lewis & The News
"Minor Feelings" - Rina Sawayama
"From the Inside" - Linkin Park
"Home" - Three Days Grace
"Standing Still" - Jewel
"Caged Bird" - RŌGUES
"Told You to Run" - RŌGUES
"TALES OF DOMENICA" - Lil Nas X
"Only" - Nine Inch Nails
"Free from Your Love" - RŌGUES
"Let Me Go" - 3 Doors Down
"Sabotage" - Beastie Boys
"Hotel California" - Eagles
"Blue Monday" - New Order
"我愛你" - Cody・Lee(李)
"Bring Me to Life" - Evanescence
"My Immortal" - Evanesence
"Going Under" - Evanescence
"Gives You Hell" - The All-American Rejects
"Flesh (Paul Oakenfold Radio Edit)' - Jan Johnston
"Blood & Glitter" - Lord Of The Lost
"Breath" - Breaking Benjamin
"Unfinished" - X JAPAN
"The Only Time" - Nine Inch Nails
"Telephone Line" - Electric Light Orchestra
"I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston
"Right Here Waiting" - Richard Marx
"Oops!...I Did It Again" - Britney Spears
"I'm So Excited" - The Pointer Sisters
"You Keep Me Hangin' On" - The Supremes
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