#this is just my rant about the video because a lot of other friends in this fandom are doing the same | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wcters · 1 month ago

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YOUR RELATIONSHIP

pairing: arthurtv x fem!reader

summary: a glimpse into your relationship with arthur

warnings/contents: sexual innuendos (obviously, it’s arthur), alcohol use, arthur being awkward, fluff

author’s note: in my british youtubers era so expect some more stuff with them 😚 will still be posting f1 stuff so do not worry !!!!

- FIRST OF ALL, everyone thought you were fake

- arthur?? talking to a girl?? no

- but it was true, you were in fact very real

- you met (quite cliche actually) at a coffee shop in london ☕️

- you were studying for a final coming up as you are in your last year of uni and he made a move

- he was really awkward, but you thought it was cute ☺️ you had your headphones on so he tapped your shoulder when he came up

- asked you what you were studying about and then when you replied, he went into a rant about the topic

- when he stooped, you were just staring at him and he thought he blew it when you asked him if he wanted to join you

- obviously said yes ‼️ pretty girl asking him to sit? you have to say yes

- you chatted for awhile and then you eventually had to leave 😭 you were the one to ask for his number (confident queen)

- he looked at you like 😧 cause he couldn’t believe what you said but snapped out of it and it went on from there

- you’d go on coffee dates together and you would sometimes study at his place while he was doing a video

- he was there at your graduation and made you pose for a hundred photos because he was so proud 🥹

- at that time you had a private account so you posted you two on there

- he eventually posted the photo when it was known he was in a relationship and you were ready to be public

- it was a couple months after you two started dating that he introduced you to his friends

- obviously introduced you to chris first ‼️

- chris’s mouth nearly dropped to the ground when he first met you

- there was a big conversation before meeting chris and you were warned of things he might say (because you truly never know)

- you knew what he was like, having watched some of their videos together after you started dating

- and you had sat in some calls before off screen (they were oblivious of course even though you were SO loud accidentally sometimes)

- eventually when they all learn about your relationship, you’re the one picking arthur up from videos when he needs a ride, especially pub crawls

- you’ll be sat on your couch, movie or random tv show playing, waiting for a text that says arthur’s plastered, can you come pick him up? from chris’s phone, probably from whoever is playing the ref as chris is wayyu too drunk

- you reply with a how drunk? and you always get the same answer . . . he’s got that look on his face

- of course you go and pick him up, and also end up being an uber driver to a bunch of other drunk men 🙄🙄

- it is a HASSLE trying to wrangle them in the car

- lots of angry mumbling and a few choice words come from you. arthur is obviously quiet on the front seat due to his state and because he listens to you when he’s drunk

- when you get home, it consists of you making him food, getting him painkillers, helping him brush his teeth, change into pyjamas (while he is trying to get you out of yours), and into bed

- this man is passed out when he hits the pillow. dead asleep 💤

- you wake up to text messages from his friends thanking you for driving them home, some of them from their girlfriends as they are either still asleep or throwing up

- you are a literal angel 😇

- it was about a year and a couple months into your relationship when he asked you to move in with him

- practically already lived there, having a drawer for yourself, skin care and health products in the bathroom, and your things all over the apartment

- he sort of spit it out one random night

- he had come home from filming with chris, isaac, and some other people. you were sat on the couch together when he randomly said it

- he was so nervous, and didn’t look at you when you turned to look at him 😭

- it was a no brainer. you said yes ‼️

- fully moved in within two weeks, luckily the lease on your apartment was done around the same time so it wasn’t too complicated

- after this you really started to show up in videos and vlogs

- you had before but as you were now living with him, you were there all the time when he was filming

- you’d be either part of the video or seen in clips or in the background

- people loved seeing you and would always point you out ❤️

- you’d join arthur and bach sometimes when they’re gaming

- you love the horror genre and horror games so if they boys are too scared to continue playing themselves they’ll fetch you and watch you play

- they still get scared the same

- and yes, arthur grabs you really hard when he gets scared

- isaac grabs onto him, he grabs onto you. like a literal train

- you’ll be straight faced like 😐 while they’re ready to pee themselves and throw up

- #queenshit

- #yougotthepantsintherelationship

- you hang with liv when arthur and isaac are filming 🎀

- talk about all the tea that’s happened since the last time you talked and attempt to watch a movie while your boyfriends are screaming ❤️

- if it’s just you and you aren’t with them you’ll be doing chores around the house or running errands

- sometimes you’d help film arthur’s vlogs and that got you interested in vlogging 📷

- first it was little tiktok videos about your life, your job, makeup, etcetera

- and then arthur convinced you to make your first vlog

- people really like you 🫶🏻 because you are sort of normal in the way that you have a regular job and regular life besides dating a youtuber

- you also interact with fans a lot, and always have. you’ve been caught interacting with arthur thirst traps 🤫

- but let’s be real who hasn’t

- you also show that your relationship is actually really normal and like regular peoples would be

- you go on dates, you hangout, you visit family, it’s not all social media and people like that

- arthur is actually really good at planning date nights and making sure you two get enough time together

- he will decline to do a video if he has a date with you ‼️ even if you say it’s okay because you spent the day together

- he’s a dedicated man

- the one time he forgot a date, you were getting ready for bed and found him getting stuff to sleep on the couch 🥺

- you weren’t even mad 😭

- he has a variety of date ideas 💐

- nice restaurants, fast food places, stargazing, going to the zoo, etcetera

- he has ended up teaching (or at least attempting to as you don’t understand any of it with three glasses of wine in your system) you chess on one of these dates

- your favourite are nights spent curled up together on the couch with the big light off, movie playing, and chinese food ❤️

- he’s always touchy with you and needs to have a hand on you: waist, arm, whatever, but you really like how real he is when you are at home together

- he’s such a suck, not afraid to get all close and lovey

- but you also have the privacy and you both get to be yourselves and he gets a break from the outside world and chill

- you try to put on a movie you both like, but arthur will end up ranting about a cool fact he knows and you’ll just smile and listen

- if someone took a picture of you, it would be described as the look of love ❤️

- just utter infatuation with this man

- he’s also a MASSIVE cuddler

- you found that out when you started dating but when you moved in, you REALLY found out

- he loves to spoon and doesn’t care if he’s big or little spoon a lot of the time (though he does like big spoon a bit more)

- there have been times where you’ve tried to get up to go to the bathroom and this man will not let go ‼️

- even if you tell him you are going to piss your pants, he doesn’t care

- if he’s asleep, he will grab onto you like a koala. he will also have conversations with you and tell you not to leave while he’s asleep

- it’s a battle every time but one you don’t mind ❤️

- bach will pretend to get jealous sometimes when arthur is paying “too much attention” to you

- they’re bromance IS real ✊

- you’ll often end up in a train with isaac holding hands with arthur and arthur holding hands with you

- he’s either arthur’s boyfriend or your chaotic teenage son

- depends on the day

- he usually turns into the son during horror games when he gets scared and hides behind you and arthur

- #motherbear 🐻

- you’ll joke about this on their podcast because you are obviously a reoccurring guest on there

- you match their witty (and sexual) behavior and jokes

- you tend to let loose on there and act like you would if you were hanging out

- people (again) LIVE for you on there ❤️

- they find you so funny

- maybe even funnier than arthur and bach (but don’t tell them that)

- you also have great fits

- with you and arthur is giving overdressed girlfriend and underdressed boyfriend

- he likes to buy you clothes even though you want to pay 🛍️

- this man has his card out before you get to the register

- he also likes to get you stuff from trips he goes on that where you can’t join him

- you “borrow” his clothes a lot and he loves seeing you wear them ❤️

- though his favourite is you in one of his t-shirts and and underwear

- he thinks you’re irresistible anytime but especially then

- he doesn’t know why 🤷‍♀️ just does something to him

- you love each other so much and wouldn’t want it any other way !!!!

#emma writes #x reader #headcanon #x fem!reader #arthurtv #arthur tv #arthurtv x reader #arthur tv x reader #youtube #youtube headcanons #youtuber #youtuber x reader #british youtubers #arthur frederick #italianbach

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salmalin · 8 months ago

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My sincerest apologies and warmest welcome to my rant about FF7: Crisis Core. Or, as I like to call it,

Propaganda: The Video Game

I say this with the utmost affection. Crisis Core ranks really high up there in my favorite Final Fantasy 7 installments. I played it when it first came out, borrowing it from a friend to play on a borrowed PSP. And, the more I learn about the game and the more I replay it, the more everything lines up.

This game is not about Zack Fair.

This game is about how Capitalistic Propaganda can sink into every aspect of life to the point where it is entirely indistinguishable from reality. And it’s very overt about it. So…

Here we go.

My treatise on Propaganda’s starring role in Crisis Core.

Part One: The Timeline

Something that a lot of people gloss over due to decades of Child Heroes in media—Japanese Shonen and Shoujo series in particular—is how young these protagonists are. We’ll hand-wave a lot of stuff in non-live-action series with just a little bit of suspension of disbelief. And that’s honestly just accepted these days. But here’s the thing about those hand-waves.

Final Fantasy 7 doesn’t do that.

Now, FF7 hand-waves a lot of stuff. For example, how far you can travel in a day by foot, the distance a man weighing approximately 165lbs can jump after being genetically fused with what might as well be a cocaine demon (Jenova), and how much hairspray one can reasonably carry on a cross-country journey while on the run from the feds.

Age is not one of them.

Exhibit A: Yuffie Kisaragi.

Do I really need to say more? She acts her age. So does Zack. And Aerith, even. Most of the characters in the original lineup were over twenty for a good reason. We see several kids in the series, and they all act their age, too—both the OG and the remake. Age is not a thing that FF7 really grapples with. It’s something they take relatively seriously.

Now, to the point.

Zack is 16 when Crisis Core starts…

… and he was 13 when he ran away from home without his parents’ knowledge to join the military.

Which accepted him.

At 13.

Without a parental permission slip.

Think about that for a second.

… Or for the next several parts of this breakdown.

Part Two: The Main Character

As I mentioned in the introduction, Zack is not the main character of the events of Crisis Core. Instead, he is the focal point of the second person POV. This is not the first time Square has done this. It was done most notably with FF9, FF10, and FF12. (I’m not going to go on an Akira Kurosawa rant right now, but please check out his film “The Hidden Fortress”. FF12 and Star Wars episodes 4-6 borrow heavily from this film.) The purpose and position of this character is such that they might best witness the effects the other characters make on the world as their stories unfold, usually in the role of a love interest. For Akira Kurosawa, it may have been told this way because these people are most effected by the decisions being made.

“Well, then, Sal,” you may be asking, “who would you say is the main character? Would that be Aerith, since she’s the love interest, like in the other games?”

No, actually.

It’s the antagonist.

And by that, I mean Genesis.

Hear me out. I used to hate Genesis, for I was once young, full of judgement for flamboyancy (thanks, internalized homophobia), and was led by the narrative to believe he was mean to his friends. Then I met my Lovely beta who loved him, so I wrote a fic for her as a gift. So for that I kinda just… read stuff. Because that’s the thing about Propaganda—you gotta read stuff to navigate it. I read the in-game emails. I re-watched all the scenes I could get my hands on with him. I read his wiki and tried to track down more information about him. Then I watched the scenes in Japanese and gained a better understanding of not just Genesis, but Sephiroth’s character. And I realized that Genesis was put on this road from the start. In fact, a big part of the fact that he’s seen the way he is in Canon—only at his most hostile and lowest points—is because the story is told through Zack’s point of view.

So before we get into the breakdown, here’s the hard facts about Genesis.

1. He was a test tube baby who may or may not technically be Angeal’s fraternal twin brother, which we are not going to unpack right now.

2. He was adopted by a relatively rich family.

3. He was a child genius (which requires not only resources, but drive to achieve), and at a tender young age of like… ten or something? He decided to mess around and literally invented pasteurization. Which is incredible, and really speaks to his knowledge of the world and ability to grasp complex concepts even at a young age. But, again, this is not the time or place to unpack that.

4. He was best friends with Angeal, who might as well have been the sweetest, kindest boy to ever walk the Planet. (I’m biased. I love him.)

5. As a teenager, he became fixated on Sephiroth, who had gained national acclaim as a SOLDIER despite them being the same age. (Please see part 1 and think about that for a second.) He then goes to join SOLDIER and brings Angeal with him. And Angeal brings his step-father’s puritanical “hard work is honorable” mindset with him. (On that note, Angeal and his father’s arc really are a wonderfully scathing letter to companies that overwork their employees and how toxic/unhealthy that line of thinking is. But. Again. We are not unpacking that right now.)

6. At one point he became consumed with LOVELESS, a series of poems with heavy prose and symbolism thicker than syrup. It got to the point where he was so well known for it that there was an entire fanclub dedicated to both him and analyzing the text.

7. While he was in SOLDIER, he repeatedly had his achievements publicly accredited… to Sephiroth.

Over and over and over again.

Everyone did, really. They mention it in the beginning of the game. Sephiroth even got public credit for Zack’s raid on the castle when he wasn’t even there. How much of his legacy is real? How much of it is made up? How much of it was faked? We don’t know. No one knows. But he keeps getting credit, anyways. And when Genesis confronts him about it, Sephiroth doesn’t care. In the Japanese version of their fight scene, you could even say he indirectly implies that he wants Genesis to take his place as the “hero”. In the English, Sephiroth’s line is, “Come and try.” But in the Japanese the line is closer to, “Wouldn’t that be nice?” Which, depending on how you take his tone, can mean wildly different things—from mocking, to earnest, or even admiration—which is especially to tell because he might be annoyed with Genesis at the moment.

Fun Fact: In Ever Crisis, Sephiroth explicitly says they are making up his achievements in the press to target boys his age for recruitment. (Thus why they accepted Zack at age 13.)

My theory on this line is that he is being cynical; that Genesis doesn't understand just how harrowing and even humiliating his experience has been. This only enforces my theory that the "come and try" translation in the English not only does a disservice to a line as wonderfully heavy as, "Wouldn't that be nice?", but fundamentally misunderstands Sephiroth as a character.

8. Genesis then took the fight to Shin-Ra. Inspiring a good chunk of their staff to leave the company, he then staged multiple attacks on facilities, staff, and the main building—which also spilled out into the city of Midgar. He murdered his parents, buried them, killed everyone in town, and… Yeah. It wasn’t pretty. A lot of innocent people died simply because they were vaguely associated with Shin-Ra. These are the actions of a villain. What’s more, this is clearly a sign that he has been acclimatized to death and violence by Shin-Ra to the point where he doesn’t even consider taking hostages.

Except.

Except the entire town was a Shin-Ra town.

Banora, canonically, was a Shin-Ra built town, which means everyone there was basically an employee of the company. No one was safe. Everyone was a threat. And that…

That was how he was raised. And he finally knew the truth—that every moment of his life was touched, controlled by Shin-Ra, all the way down to his very conception. He has never known freedom. He has never known his own identity. And now that very cage was killing him, slowly and painfully, and turning him into something that couldn’t even be recognized as human. He was watching himself rot in the mirror, and it was all because of Shin-Ra’s greed. And as he searched for salvation, he sunk into LOVELESS as he always had, hinging his entire life on Minerva’s Gift because he knew he was dying and that was all he had.

9. And then he died…

10. … but then it turned out LOVELESS was actually kind of a blueprint, and he did meet the Goddess, and he did get reborn without his degradation so he was rewarded for his journey in the end.

So why wasn’t Genesis the main character of the game?

Simple.

His actions challenge the status quo without being about the status quo. It’s a story about revenge. It’s a story about retribution. It’s a story about answering mass violence with mass violence and ultimately being rewarded by it. And while, yes, the series is an action-based violence simulator, the violence in the original FF7 was a guided, tactical effort. (For all that the characters aren’t the brightest bulbs in the sun lamps.) But the biggest, most obvious shift in the narrative happened when they realized their role as terrorists—bringing mass violence to the company via bombing and open aggression—was just resulting in increasing levels of retaliation against uninvolved people. They might as well have been a child beating the ankles of a giant. The goals and themes of the game fundamentally change when they realize that answering mass-scale societal violence with mass-scale physical violence was not only unsustainable, but also wasn’t going to solve their problem.

FF7 is about change and learning when violence—and what kind of violence—is appropriate in the face of different threats.

Genesis’ arc undermines all of that, and making him the main character would contradict the very heart of the OG game.

So, instead, we are positioned as Zack, connected to him through a mutual friend. From there we see all the damage and horror this vengeance brings to those living under the status quo.

But also, that plotline’s a major downer in a lot of ways, so they needed to lighten things up a bit to keep audience involved. And that’s why Zack is, well…

Part Three: Zack is a Himbo

Please, for the love of all that is holy, keep in mind that everything I say here is with the utmost affection.

Zack is dumb as a rock.

He is a charismatic, enthusiastic sixteen year old jock who ran away from home at thirteen years old to join the military. Which, please know, why I say “military” I mean “private security guard force with a standard-issue Death Baton and a license to kill”. The first scene in the game is him being excited that he gets to murder a bunch of people in a simulation, which he is immediately scolded for by his mentor. He is a glorified, souped up private security guard who is canonically only in it for the glory at first. He wants to be a “hero”, but doesn’t seem to fundamentally know what that means. And, over the course of the story, the definition of that clearly changes for him.

Which tracks, because the story takes place over a period of time with high stress.

Occasionally I see people saying they wish that Zack had more complexity to him, and honestly? The game. Would be. SO. BAD.

Full Disclosure: I am not the biggest fan of Zack specifically because he lacks a lot of nuance. I wish he was a bit more complex, too. But I also know that would break the game. What’s worse, if he was still on Shin-Ra’s side because he understood Shin-Ra’s mission… Well… That would make him a villain, or a cog at best. That’s not main character material. It would make the ending more messed up, though.

Anywho, Zack was thirteen when he left home. He had no formal education. He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing. He even joined without a permission slip from his parents. This means that Shin-Ra was accepting thirteen, possibly fourteen year olds into the military. (Some people will say this tracks because you can get a job at fourteen in many parts of Japan. But, and this is important, you aren’t allowed to be a security guard until you’re quite a bit older, and you need a specific license for it, much like in the US.) Clearly they didn’t teach this boy critical thinking skills. Not because he’s a himbo, but because having their Super-Powered Private Security Force With A License To Kill think independently would explicitly go against their interests. (EX: Genesis.)

Shin-Ra needs SOLDIERs to follow orders or the company would no longer be able to function. Seconds and Thirds aren’t even allowed to reject missions. (One could argue that sending certain someone on back-to-back missions would be a good way for them to eliminate undesirables within the ranks by sending them to their deaths, which… would make an incredible fic idea, actually.) We already know that First, Second, and Third Class rank assignments do not actually reflect the power of the SOLDIER. This is canon. I would instead argue that those who make the rank of First Class aren’t necessarily the most powerful, but are instead the most visible in the media, thus the easiest to market, and/or the easiest to manipulate and control. (For a great example of this, see The Umbrella Academy.)

The point is, Zack may have been elevated to his position as a first specifically because he is malleable and single-minded. Even after all he saw with Genesis, he stuck by the company to the very end, with the exception of the time Sephiroth was literally guiding him to fail a mission. Zack allowed himself to take Shin-Ra’s side every time, taking down their enemies and following their orders, preserving his “honor as SOLDIER” as he had been taught. The only thing that made him stop…

… was literally getting put in a jar.

It was when he was no longer a SOLDIER.

Part Four: Honor

There is no such thing as SOLDIER Honor.

I repeat: There is no such thing as SOLDIER Honor.

It is a fictional thing that is borne of an ideology based around hard work. It only has power because it is believed in. It is an intangible social construct similar to the law, mathematical order of operations, and gender roles. So why are Angeal and Zack obsessed with it?

Pretty simple.

Angeal’s step-father followed it.

Now, we know three things about Angeal’s step-father.

1. He was chill with the fact that Gillian was already pregnant when they started dating.

2. He was a very good father.

3. He worked himself to death trying to pay off the sword he bought Angeal.

This, of course, says a lot about Angeal considering he rarely uses the sword. He essentially sees that sword as the symbol of his step-father’s life. Everything he uses it for, he sees as more important than his step-father’s life. That thing is usually Zack.

Zack, who is the child who joined the military based on stories of heroes.

Zack, who rises against Angeal in the name of his own step-father’s ideology and tries to talk him down, even at the very end. But Zack fails because he fundamentally doesn’t understand what’s going on, partially because “Soldier Honor” is just one more aspect of this narrative he was given. It is a narrative that Angeal has had to step away from, even though he doesn’t want to leave the memory of his step-father behind. He was a good man. He was a good, hardworking man.

And that is why he died.

Corporations will use you up until there is nothing left, then honor your memory/sacrifice. Shin-Ra was doing the exact same thing the company his step-father worked for did; using up SOLDIERs until they outlived their usefulness. And Angeal was horrified to realize that his “SOLDIER Honor” wasn’t honor at all.

It was willingly submitting to control.

But, unlike Angeal, over time, this meaning changed for Zack. Partially because he didn't understand it fully in the first place. It became about acting with integrity. It became about helping people. It became about not lying down and watching the abuse Shin-Ra handed out in exchange for literal money; for maintaining the status quo.

At the very end, Zack understood what it meant to be a hero.

Part Five: The Conclusion

To sum up, Zack believed in and idolized the propaganda spread by Shin-Ra at such a young age, and was so convinced by it, that he ran away from home at thirteen to join the military.

He was their target demographic, so they happily took him into their ranks. What’s more, people think this is normal enough that we see no one opposing this, because the only people who oppose Shin-Ra are “extremists” or “violent terrorists”.

Zack then became their loyal puppy, groomed to fill his role as super-powered attack dog to sick on anyone they deemed appropriate, and he filled the role. He believed he was doing good. He didn’t think they were invading another country, because that’s not what he was told.

He went after Genesis, because that’s what he was told, and he wouldn’t let Genesis’ actions shake his faith in the company.

Then he went after Angeal, hoping to get answers, only to become more confused. Angeal taught him about SOLDIER honor. He taught him about a higher calling. He was the one who made Zack truly loyal to the company. This challenged everything Zack knew.

He went with Sephiroth, planning a small rebellion of their own (a white lie on paperwork) to get answers, only to find things he wasn’t ready for and couldn’t fully understand.

Zack is shaken by each of these events. Horribly. At times, we even watch him grieve. But time and time again, he doesn’t leave the company. He sees the damage they do first hand, and he doesn’t leave the company. The company isn’t the problem, to him. He reads their emails, does their dirty work, and “maintains his SOLDIER honor”.

Zack swallows what they give him right up until what they give him is torture.

Zack swallows what they give him until he becomes their victim.

Every step of the way, Zack is fed a story of how the world is. He was raised on it. He lived it. He became part of it. He was paid peanuts to enforce the status quo Shin-Ra installed in the world by force, and he was proud of it because it was, to him, something to be proud of.

Zack believes the propaganda whole-sale, and we get to watch, from the point of view of an outsider, as it slowly destroys his life before killing him.

Propaganda has the power to make suffering normal. Propaganda has the power to make murder righteous. Propaganda has the power to take a thirteen year old boy out of his home so they can give him a sword, and when they point him in the direction of their enemies he charges of his own volition, because they made him believe in their cause. And he believes in their cause because he believes that it makes life better for everyone.

But that’s not what’s actually happening.

That’s just what he was told.

Crisis Core is about propaganda, and the depths to which it can affect our lives. It changes our belief systems. It changes our perceptions of reality. And when it’s torn down around our eyes, it can make us go insane. It can make us violent and unreasonable as we realize just how much violence is being forced upon us—violence other people just plain do not see. It's just a a piece of paper. It's just a law. It's just a job.

It's just a war.

Final Fantasy 7 was about Fascism.

Crisis Core is about the propaganda that built it. It is told from the point of view of a boy, then a man, steeped in it. He watches until the people suffering around him—Sephiroth, Genesis, and Angeal—are twisted into villains by the truths and lies around them. Genesis and Angeal are tortured by truths, Sephiroth is transformed by lies, and Zack is subsequently hunted down to conceal them.

Crisis Core is Propaganda: The Video Game.

#thank you for coming to my TED talk #ffvii #ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ffvii crisis core #ff7 crisis core #zack fair #genesis rhapsodos #sephiroth #angeal hewley #crisis core

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toastermuffles · 7 months ago

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Hey guys welcome to my massive rant about q!Fit and how cc!Fit is incredibly talented and underrated. Since y'all kinda blew up my twitter post LOL.

There are SO many things I could touch on so it's probably gonna be scattered around a lot.

1) Fit had a great character set up from the beginning. From the very start many people knew Fits reputation as a 2b2t veteran, a place with a toxic environment and brutal people. He was no exception, he was closed off to relationships and was very cautious/closed off to many things. Not only that but his past made people distrust him in the beginning. I loved the suspense it brought with his character and the question of why he WAS actually here. Since the whole "vacation" thing was never very convincing. My favourite part was a lot of this was IMPLIED! He built on the character he portrayed in his YT videos and it worked so well, adding small comments about his character here and there (like when he said q!Fits hearing was bad BC of all the explosions he's experienced).

2) His RP skills were another level, not only was he in character almost the WHOLE time when he was live (even donos) when he first did lore he would tease elements of it by writing cryptic messages when others were live. SUCH a good idea when you have a smaller audience and want to create suspense. Not only that, he would have set dates and times for BIG lore stuff, this honestly made it so much easier to keep track of and engage in, not only alone but with friends too! His actual lore was very different from many others, it was cinematic and well planned, yet it still left room for sudden changes. The final result was a cohesive story line that the audience could interpret. I just loved how I could understand what was happening but also have questions/cliffhangers!

3) the fucking MUSIC. Throughout his lore and start of his streams I adored his choice of music, "Stranger in Paradise" being a personal favourite that was not only reoccurring in more than one language but fit SO WELL. I also think it was very clever how a lot of his music choices for his character didn't make sense until you understand the full story e.g. "Can't say goodbye to yesterday". All of this really added a new perspective on his character, almost through cc!Fits own eyes. Along with his music choice just being absolute bops OFC.

4) THE SYMBOLISM. My absolute favourite lore moment of his was at the end of the "Attachments" lore stream. Where the sun is setting over the mountain, slowly covering a patch of roses in darkness. ALL WHILE an instrumental Italian version of "Stanger in paradise" played. Roses of course being a symbol of not only his and Pac's relationship but love in general. His love for Ramon and his friends. The love he had to grow, just like a rose. While the darkness symbolizes his past catching up to him, more specifically his deadline. His time with his family and friends ending, his loves disappearing. Chefs kiss because it makes me cry everytime fr.

5) q!Fit's sexuality (gay). There is something so poetic about a gay guy from an extremely homophobic wasteland learning to come to terms with his own sexuality and love in general. Him slowly building a loving relationship with Ramon, Growing feelings for Pac, Nervously coming out to his son and then finally indulging in the first relationship and FAMILY he had ever had. Finally learning to love and to be loved in return. Even if he is scared about his mission, or taking things too fast. Just learning to live a normal life.

6) Fitmc is criminally underrated and overlooked. I still remember when Fit got his first proper piece of fanart in the museum. It was like... JULY? or something. And I think that says enough. People had no idea he was even doing lore at some points. Averaging at about 1-2k viewers in the beginning, until hideduo came into the mix. A lot but still compared to others very low. I think because his viewers consisted of his YT audience it didn't translate well. But I'm so glad he was able to build a loving community on twitch <3

Anyways it's 3am for me, I probably have more to talk about but this is basically what I meant when I posted that tweet. Feel free to reblog and add your own favourite observations or moments. I wanna hear them! ❤️

#fitmc #qsmp #qsmp fitmc #qsmp fit #fitmc qsmp #qsmp ramon #hideduo #qsmp pac #spotify #fypage

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lady-ashfade · 1 year ago

Text

The trio

Day 11 of celebration marathon

Platonic!Trio x reader

-£ ask: Can you do something about how Percy, Annabeth and Grover would be meeting a new mortal friend after the quest? Like Annabeth having her first friend outside camp and maybe having all the awesome kid moments she missed ie sleepovers, movies, school dance... stuff like that. Grover making a friend he isn't trying to protect or save and can just be himself. And Percy making a friend with the confidence he got from knowing he's different but not broken. (I loved tonight's episode and can't wait for season two! I hope your enjoying the books they were my favorite when I was 12) @poemfreak306

-£ Warnings: fluffy friendship, hcs, me just going with what my brain comes up with, I haven’t slept since yesterday.

It’s funny how you were so excepting of their situation. Of course you were confused but you got over it pretty fast.

you had watched them defeat a monster on your way home from school and hid while they took care of it. You actually thought you were losing your mind.

They were just surprised as you when you went up to them, a normal human. I mean humans could see through the fog before but you were different.

“So…you actually have goat legs?” You point down at Grover as he blushes and nods.

“Awesome.”

You took them to your house and offered them a place to stay for the night, or some meals at first since they didn’t want to stay around you to long.

Annabeth likes to talk about things she feels like she can’t around anyone at camp, like girly things. Maybe you teach her a new hair style? Or show her a new teen magazine with cutes boys, then show her new movies she might like.

(I have a feel for wound either love or hate legacy blonde and you can’t convince me otherwise)

She likes when you gossip about your regular life and the problems you have, she likes to live through you. She also likes to teach you things to if you ask.

Grover is so happy to have you. He doesn’t feel the pressure. Not that it’s a problem with the other two but he likes to chill in your room. He’s a sucker for laying down in your room while you listen to music and play with his hair. Also, teach him videos games and battle him. He likes to visit you all the time to complain or rest up. You are his battery charger.

Also, Grover loves you because you always prepare snacks for him. He eats anything, Tin cans and random things he could find but you take the time to make him something. Makes him feel loved and cared about.

You are a blessing in Percy’s eyes. The other kids made fun of him for his whole like. But here you are, not a care in the world. You do scold him if he gets hurt and about being more careful tho he enjoys that. He had a kinda normal childhood with his mom so he knew a lot of things like you did so it was easy to bond. You got all his references!

Percy likes it when you listen to him rant on about his problems, about how camp is, or how he killed some monster. He enjoys how excited you get when he tells his stories. You call him and the others your hero’s.

Movie nights are always fun with them. Either you and Percy are showing them a movie you watched or you show them something.

If it horror. Grover will be watching intently while eating popcorn unlike what you thought the first time, he likes it. Annabeth is screaming at the tv how they are messing themselves up and somehow ends up rooting for the killer, (she never will admit she yelps at times) and Percy is in the middle. Sometimes his curling up and turning away, or laughing at the screen.

They get to be kids and enjoy a sleepover, eating snacks and throwing them around, laughing so hard they cry, staying up “all night” and then crashing.

Everytime they return to camp they have a new photo of you to hang up. Even as a mortal you are their best friend and they wouldn’t change it any other way.

taglist: @maria699669 @purplerose291 @itzmeme @ravenmedows

-£ this was edited poorly so many mistakes are made because I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

#percy x reader #Percy Jackson x reader #platonic percy jackson x reader #platonic Grover underwood #platonic grover underwood x reader #grover underwood x reader #annabeth chase x reader #platonif annabeth chase x reader #pjo x you #platonic x reader

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slut4megantheestallion · 1 year ago

Text

Kai cenat Headcannons

● Kai loves constantly annoying or pulling pranks on you he just loves seeing get irritated. He pulled a prank on you, telling you to 'shut up' constantly every word you say. He was laughing but not too long since you beat his ass to get back at him. "Bro, ow why you gotta hit me like that, yo?" Kai said, rubbing his arms since you hit him so hard. "That's what yo ass get for pranking me, nigga." Y/n said laughing at him, as he glarer at you.

● He has you on your streams 24/7. His fans love you. They love the dynamic friendship y"all have together.

● He does the most dumbest shit and it you always have to get him out of it like it's annoying but it's funny as fuck.

● Nigga is a big back he may not look like a big back, but no he's a certified nig back nigga would be stealing or eating alot of food.

● If somebody tried to do something to you, he'd defend you.

● His mom and sister love and be teasing him since you guys would be a cute couple, but y'all brushed it off, y'all were just close.

●You're practically a part of Amp. His friends love you and are treated like a part of the group.

● Randomly dancing together.

● You'll scare him during his streams when he's playing a horror game.

● You tease him about being short. He only allows you to tease him, and he actually finds your jokes funny, to be honest.

● Y'all be doing crazy challenges together that can possibly make you both end up in the hospital.

● Try not to laugh videos with the rest of the amp members.

● That one time he brought nicki minaj on his stream, you were so happy because he knew how much you loved nicki and got a chance to meet her, Nicki liked you so much.

● You're his biggest supporter through everything, even through his ups and downs.

● Y"all be making secret joke no one could understand of how close you two are.

● Kai wanted to have you around every time through everything he appreciated you and is very glad to have as his best friend he couldn't be more grateful.

● If you were going through something with your mental health, he would always stop everything for you and would check up on you and make sure you're alright.

● When amp popularity soared, Kai became a household name, a beacon of positivity and laughter in a world of negativity, But through it all y/n remained by kai's side,being his confidant advisor and most important, his best friend.

● Kai and Y/n have the most infectious humor together and very entertaining qualities. You both are everything funny since y'all are both unserious and someone who can take his sense of humor.

● Kai is very humble and didn't let the fame change him. You'll expect a lot of support from his fans, friends, and family members. If kai was facing a lot of hate or backlash, you'll be listening to him rant and give him words if encouragement.

● Kai loves spoiling you he'll put you anything you want that you never had growing up. He bought you a car, and you were never much happier and more grateful. "Nah, what?? Yo, thank you for everything. You didn't have to do this." Y/n said, wiping the tears from her eyes as kai smiled at her. "No, you deserve it. we been through so much, and you were there through my ups and downs, you my best friend." Kai said as you both hugged each other longingly.

● Kai takes you everywhere together. Your friendship was never boring. He was taking you on trips traveling across the world. Attending exclusive events, meeting people, and just having fun, from red solo carpets, concerts, and having such a fun experience together.

● You never turned your back on kai even if he be annoying arms times, you would never be fake like everyone else Is on social media, you never talked shit about him ever and never used him for clout, you was like a sister to him.

● As y/n and Kai's friendship grew even stronger, they faced through challenges, good time, bad times, fame, but through it all, y'all were inseparable, bound together. Kai loves you, and he's lucky to have you by his side.

#kai cenat x fem!reader #kai cenat x reader #kai cenat x black!reader #amp #amp x reader #black!reader #Spotify

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

AITA for sharing audio (no visuals) of my roommate having sex with online friends?

CW for Sexual content

I (18x) have a roommate (19f) who tends to have.. a lot of sex. She genuinely thinks I don't know, because every time I've tried to confront her about it or ask her to maybe at least warn me so I could leave the apartment, she denies it and says she's only ever done it when I'm not there. This is obviously a lie.

A few days ago, I frankly got sick of it and decided to record the sound of it from my room. There's no visuals obviously because 1 we have different rooms and 2 it's usually late night/early morning so even if we shared a room it'd be pitch black. It was stupidly loud. Despite the fact that my phone has a bad mic, it was very clearly able to pick up the sound of her getting railed to hell and back. The bed creaking, her moaning like crazy, him dirty talking- everything. They were ridiculously loud and had woken me up because of it, which was why I snapped and decided to record it in the first place. It was around 4-5 am when this happened.

I shared the video with some online friends, people who don't know and most likely will never know my roommate on any sort of level other than what they hear about her through me- I don't even say her name, just refer to her as my roommate. No names are said in the audio, and the bed creaking is so loud that you can't really distinguish their voices from just any other straight couple banging. That is to say, there is such a degree of separation that I didn't see it as too big of a deal to share.

Despite this, one friend of mine said that it was incredibly messed up to share the audio regardless of the fact that they will never be able to use it against her, saying it was an invasion of her privacy and whatnot. Another friend piped up and said it wasn't too big of a deal and named some of the reasoning from above. This hasn't been a friendship-ending argument, but it definitely caused a bit of a strain on the group for the past few days, and I'm conflicted. I've since deleted the video both from the server I posted it in as well as my phone, since I didn't want to take any chances in case it was genuinely a horrible thing to do, but again, I'm really not sure. Am I the asshole?

TL;DR My roommate has really loud sex that wakes me up around 4-5 am and I record the audio of it, sending it to a server full of people who will never know her or be able to use it against her in order to rant. Some friends think that it was a horrible violence of privacy, but others think the degrees of separation were enough to not make it bad. AITA for recording and sending it to the server?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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reztaezm · 2 months ago

Text

𝙳𝙴𝙱𝚄𝙶¿

・・・・・・・・・・

𝙹𝚎𝚘��𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘 𝚡 𝙾𝙲 (𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜: smut; oral (m - receiving), riding, late night office sex, unprotected sex (not encouraging, pls use protection), implied hand fetish, implied vein fetish, implied size difference / size kink, humor, lots of profanity and dirty jokes

𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: Jeong Yunho, the helpful I.T. professor, and Y/n, the hot senior programmer

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 6.6k (filler plot??)

۶ৎ

A sigh — it is all Y/n was able to muster in response to the repeated queries of her officemates.

Before she was asked again, she spoke for the first time in twelve hours to cut them off. “No. It still keeps crashing.”

San was lucky they were best friends, because Y/n would’ve pushed him off his chair just for almost letting out a laugh.

“It’s not funny.” Y/n sighs yet again for probably the hundredth instance that day, and San knew, which was what made him finally burst.

Y/n’s been playing hunchback for weeks, ever since she had started programming her video game. It's only a demo project. She hasn't actually come up with a polished plot for the game, which was unfortunate since she only had about two months left till the proposal due.

“I mean, honestly, your game’s the shit.” Y/n had her face buried in her hands when she heard San say that, and she wouldn't lift his head even as she answered.

“You mean, is shit.” her tired and muffled mutter made San shake his head, though still at the verge of laughter.

“Come on, dude. You always tell me that real success takes the longest, to trust the process,” she finally looks at San as he speaks, though not without another sigh falling from her lips. “You’re being a bad example right now, you know that? It's like you being that cool senior I met on my first day in the company is a complete scam.”

Y/n stood up from his chair after long hours of being stuck on it, and it showed from the way she stretched her limbs and arched his back with the quiet snapping of her back. “It is.”

This time, she laughed, but it was weak. San could hear her loss of sleep in the sound. “Whatever. That's just a phase.” San found himself shaking his head once more, chuckling at his friend who looked like she consumed coffee as a water substitute.

Y/n decides to ignore San — who was carefully skimming through her progress — for a moment to give the restroom a visit. It was a solo restroom, even though it's in an office with six people, it wasn't hard to figure why there’d often be an angry knocker outside. Y/n stops to look at herself in the mirror. And just like what she'd expect, her under eyes had darkened, even sunk a little bit. Her lips were slightly chapped, and well, long story short, she's anemic. Her hues were dead all over, even her clothes look like she's just got out of a funeral.

She ties her hair to a sad, lazy ponytail, then opens the faucet, letting the water run over her palms. She splashed on her face for a quick rinse, and an implicit attempt of a wake-up call. Because maybe it was time for her to take a break. At this point, her hands have tremors even when at rest, and she wasn't sure if she had gone past her daily caffeine intake or if she was actually developing a chronic illness. No matter the cause, her mentality opposed the needs of her body, for even with the tiny rants San and her other colleagues would hear from her, she never actually gave up. Like San had said, it was just a phase, it's a silly statement, but it's true.

“I’ve gone through this before. I can do it again.”

After having wiped her face down with her hand towel, she exits the restroom. She appeared to be quite disheveled, with some strands of her hair sticking to the sides of her face and the rest a sloppily tied mess behind her head. She proceeds to her desk with leisurely motions, claiming her seat once more with a yawn, stretching her arms back slightly past her head.

“It’s DoorDash hour,” she mumbles when she happens to read the time on her desk clock. “Can any of you vouch for my coffee, my PayPal is out of serv-”

She was cut off when an unfamiliar hand had set itself on her desk right in front of her. She looks up — and her first thought was San probably wasn’t done meddling with her scripting, but then, she’d freeze in shock.

Or maybe surprise? Am I in one of those k-dramas where some hot fictional guy comes to life? Who the fuck is this fine asset and why is he staring at my computer-

“Looks like you mistyped a code here, miss.”

And what the fuck is that voice… “Excuse me?”

Y/n had zero clue as to who this man was, or why he was standing there — from her observation — looking like a complete meal. It seems like DoorDash hour came earlier for her.

The mystery man chuckles, and as embarrassing it is for her to admit, his voice was stimulating her hormones more than she’d hope. She felt somewhat violated. “Well…”

The low pur in is utterance was enough for her to make a mental note to check out cheap therapy sessions online. And perhaps she had almost gone completely insane when she felt his arms on either side of her. He could feel the warmth of his figure leaning over hers as she sat there with a slight shiver, and at a loss for words.

The sounds of him typing on her keyboard, and the clicking as he maneuvered the mouse, were blocked off by her ears. It was as if his breathing was a song blasting right into her ears, and she was the only one who could hear it.

“Oh, Yunho. You’re here.”

If only Y/n could turn to greet San, and ask him why he’d let this unbelievably attractive man in their office without giving her any sort of warning, not even a text.

“Hey, how’s it been?” Finally, she was able to breathe because this tall stature of a man walked off to greet his old friend, initiating a handshake.

“Been well, nothing crazy.” Their conversation becomes drowned out in the background as she salvages the time to compose herself before the two took notice of her.

“By the way, that's Y/n. She's the hot senior I was talking about.”

Y/n’s eyes widened at San’s mention of her name, and his jarring description of her. She spins her chair around, finally facing the two men, finally facing him again.

San couldn't help but snicker seeing the baffled expression on Y/n’s face, the target subsequent of his prank. “What?”

Y/n sighs at San’s clownery, knowing exactly why he was giggling like a little boy again. “You didn't tell me someone was coming.”

And with that, San smirks. “Don't worry, he's not hostile at all.”

The two men would share a chuckle which would've irritated her, but honestly, she wasn't hearing San.

“Care to introduce yourself?” She held confidence in her tone as she questioned the other guy, and as she waited for his answer, she’d bring herself to meet his eyes for the first time.

“I’m Jeong Yunho. I’m also a senior programmer.”

It might've been a mistake. The guy looked so tidy and proper. His shirt was ironed, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Not only that, he also wore black pleated pants that showed off his height well. She didn't even want to stand because she was sure he’d somehow mistaken her for a chair.

She nods and hums in response to his introduction, as if she was interviewing him for a job application. “And why are you here?”

San couldn't hold back from snorting at her current demeanor which was very unlike her daily work attitude.

Yunho catches her shooting a glare towards San, and he couldn't help but smile a little. “San called me. He said you need help with your game’s script.”

Y/n’s brows furrowed. “What?” Then she looks at San, questioning him without a word, because she sure as hell does not remember asking him for assistance.

San only shrugs, again, playing dumb.

“You’ve been working on it for a long time now, correct?” Her head snaps back at Yunho when he asks the question.

To which she answers, “Yes.” with a nod, though she didn't quite catch why he’d ask.

Yunho would then approach her desk, bringing himself closer to her, close enough for her to smell his perfume… “It's due pretty soon, don’t you think?”

The tip of his finger was pointing and pressed against the marked date of her game demo’s deadline, and he was looking down at her. She could've sworn she could already feel his breath on her face. She only nods in response to his question, swallowing the salivation that had amassed in her mouth as her brain processed their proximity.

“You should’ve been at least done with the intro. Do you have a tutorial before the actual game?” She was forced to look away from his face out of sheer embarrassment, but she was at least seventy percent sure that he didn't notice.

“Yeah. The intro runs smoothly, but I can't seem to get this part of the script to work.” She then leans closer to her computer monitor and navigates the said part of the programming with the scroll of her mouse to show it to him.

He hums upon inspecting her work, and then she freezes again. His hand grabbed for the mouse, all while she was still holding it. His hand moved the mouse, moving her hand along with it, being engulfed by his absurdly larger one. She’d be lying if she said she was paying attention to what he was doing to her script, but she tried, she really did.

“I can help you with getting this done. My schedule is flexible for two months, including now.” Yunho leans back a bit to look at her, then gives her a smile.

She couldn't help but think that he's doing all of this on purpose. “Wait,”

He hits her with a “Hmm?” and the slight raise of his eyebrows.

She clears her throat, trying to ignore the fact that everything he did was attractive to her. "How much?”

The few seconds of him as he thought about her question was accompanied by a soft hum with his lips formed into a slight pout. “I don't really have a price in mind right now. But we can negotiate it after we finish your game.”

Negotiate?... After we finish the game? “I mean, you don't have to help me full-time, you know. We could just work through messages-”

“Yeah, but that could make things complicated at some instances.” He casually cuts her off, even shrugging as he straightens up his stance. “Your work can be more precise, and maybe we can avoid bugs, fix the existing ones.”

He then leans sidewards against her desk, using his arm to support his weight. That's when she saw it — the fine lines on his hands. With how close he was, she could see the patterns drawn by his veins. She couldn't help but imagine those hands flexed and its veins protruding as he carried her — a long sigh leaves her mouth, but after hearing his subtle chuckle, she realizes that he was still waiting for her to respond to his offer.

“Yes.”

Yunho raised a brow, finding this response rather interesting.

“Yes?”

Y/n had to rewind her own reply in her mind to figure out what she'd said wrong, or what she couldn't say. “Ah, I meant sure. I can work with that.” She then gives him a smile, thanking her guardian angels in her mind for keeping her from stuttering or stumbling on her own words.

Way later that night, she remained in the office, now left empty and lit by nothing but her computer monitor, and the lights of the hallway outside seeping through the glass panels of the office doors. She leans back against her chair, staring at the blank IDE on her computer monitor. It wasn't really completely blank. She just had this empty space below what she had already done. She yawns, and almost closes her eyes — almost, because her phone began vibrating against her desk and produced a loud blaring to her ears in the quiet confinement of the almost-empty quarter.

She picks up her phone and reads the notification on her lockscreen. Then suddenly, she was wide awake.

jeong yunho (LINE) : hey, heard you're still in the office?

She was slightly confused by the structure of his text. It wasn't constructed like a question, yet it had a question mark, still, she didn't have it in her to ignore him and pretend she's busy when she's currently stuck with her work.

y/n y/l/n: yeah i am

jeong yunho: why?

She was surprised with his reply time, it was almost instant.

y/n y/l/n: i have something to finish

jeong yunho: why didn't you tell me?

i’m omw

What the fuck. She was stunned, and a part of her thought that he must be kidding, and if not then he was out of his mind.

And the conclusion? He’s out of his mind.

Whilst Y/n restlessly tapped her fingers on the armrest of her chair, she hears the shifting hinges of the door, indicating someone's entrance. Despite her double-guessing, he actually came. Not that she's surprised anymore since he did message her beforehand. It's the fact that he insisted that bewildered her. She didn't need him — well, at least not yet. But he could've chosen to leave her alone and rest for himself, especially since it was already past 11pm.

“I didn't think you'd actually come.” She couldn't help but express her thoughts once he was seated beside her.

Yunho gives her a chuckle for that, and replies with a question, “Why not?”

Whether it was a real question or not, she answers him anyway. “Because it's late. You had work too, didn't you?”

He sighs softly and shrugs. He sure does shrug a lot. “Eh, I just sat in the computer lab all day. Also monitored some newbies, but it was light work.” he replies as he moves his chair, and himself, closer to Y/n.

“Monitored newbies?” She grew curious of what he did, she didn't really have much background on him yet, apart from the fact that he's an excellent programmer who earned a master's degree. “What's your job anyways?”

“I’m an I.T. professor.”

Her eyes grew wider at this newfound information. He seemed so young, and too… fine to be a college professor.

Unfortunately, he notices her reaction and chuckles. She'd paid to hear him chuckle over and over again, but she couldn't quite figure out what it meant, cause he might as well be making fun of her in his mind.

“I’m new. I got hired by my university just a year ago.” her mouth forms a small ‘o’ from that follow up info and nods to express her understanding.

She didn't have anything else to say, but she thought he did. So with a brave heart, she turns her head to look at him, only to be met with that overwhelming gaze of his that she's seeing for the first time. He had also moved a little closer, and it made the whole moment feel more intense — for her at least.

“So… how long have you been working for this company?”

She was thankful he had asked that question, or else she would've been stuck staring at him. “Uhh… five, it's been… five years.”

Their eyes were still set on each other, but she didn't really know where this was headed, or what it meant for him. Because for her, the tension is undeniable. And maybe, just maybe, it was fairly sexual. She could feel some heat rising on her cheeks the more she looked at him, and his form was shaped by the grey sweatshirt he had on — the sleeves were rolled up again. It's like he's purposely showing off his arms for her to fantasize about. The fact that his eyes were on her too did nothing but drive the biological reactions of her body, in layman's terms, she was turned on.

He hums in response to her answer and would briefly shift his eyes from hers, down to her lips, then lower. She thought she was starting to hallucinate because of how horny she could be, because from her perspective, it seemed as though he was checking her out.

She then thought that maybe, the tension wasn't one sided after all. “Five years… doesn't sound like a lot, but I’m sure you’ve got… loads of experience, right?”

Y/n wasn't fond of alcohol, but his tone, his voice, it all began to sound like smooth whiskey, and she was slowly getting drunk off of it. “Right.”

Yunho chuckles again, but this time, the sound was drawn deep from his chest. He was looking at her as if she was the only thing visible to him, and that everything else was an empty void.

“You know, when San first mentioned you, I thought you'd be a middle-aged woman, or close to that.” As he spoke to her, his hand would move to the armrest of her chair, resting beside her hand, though not quite touching it. “But then again, you could be, huh?”

Y/n would make a sound, somewhere close to a laugh, though her brows were adorably knitted closely. “I'm in my mid twenties.” Yunho smirks at that, most likely because she was speaking in a much softer tone now, which contrasted the first voice he heard from her.

“I can see that.”

Internal and hysterical screaming. Her mind and body were reacting in such irrational ways, not only from the way he was speaking to her, but with how she was able to confirm that he was indeed checking her out.

“San only referred to you as the ‘hot senior’ in your office... but I don't think he meant it as a joke.” He said this, all while spending almost a minute staring on her lips. “All the proof I need is right in front of me.”

She was stuck, yet again — unlike being stuck with her game’s programming, she actually had a plan of actions in mind, in fact, there might be too much to them. None of them would fall under the typical human response, but was she really gonna play dumb and act like she isn't being ogled by the man only inches apart from her?

Her eyes wandered down to his arms again, and his hand was right next to hers. She knew how skilled those fingers are with handling computers. What more if he was handling her. She slowly brought her gaze up, looking over his body, even fully covered, she saw how fit and healthy he was, particularly on the area of his pecs. Shit.

Knowing that he was pretty much undressing her with his eyes, she was possessed with sudden boldness, speaking with more nerve on a provocative note. “Yeah? And what makes you say that?”

Maybe she sounded too bold for her physical condition, because she was quite sure she’d looked gaunt after continuous shifts, only taking ten-minute naps max, and having a staring contest with her computer monitor to the point that she’s taken in the eyes of a drug addict.

But maybe, in some way she couldn’t see, she radiates allure, particular to Yuhno. “I don’t know,” He chuckles a little at himself. “Maybe I have a thing for burnout.”

Then he lifts his hand from the armrest, pointing a finger and using it to move a stray strand of hair that went over her eyes, and tucks it behind her ear. The whole time, Y/n thought about where else his fingers would wander and stop. There was no stopping for the tips of his fingers brushed against her cheeks as he moved down his hand. He moved his hand as if he was taking his time to feel the texture of her skin, and despite the feather-light contact, it became her sensory’s hyperfixation.

“Or maybe I just have a thing for you.”

Y/n’s lips slowly curved up into a slight smile, impossible for Yunho to miss given how close he’s gotten. And he’s slowly moving closer, and closer. His movements were subtle, but she could feel it — the heat rose the closer he got. Her hands moved by themselves, one of them holding onto the wrist of his hand that now held her face. Resisting was no longer in consideration for her, leading her to give in to her temptations, tracing the veins and the muscles of his forearm and feeling it with the pads of her fingers.

Yunho had gotten close enough for the tip of his nose to lightly press against the side of her face, right next to her ear, smelling the faint fragrance of her perfume and the natural scent of her body mixed with a bit of sweat and the reeks of the office environment. He couldn’t help but breathe her in.

“You really thought I wouldn’t notice?” He murmurs right into her ear, the same time his sly hand moved in between her back and the backrest of her chair, slowly settling his palm against the curvature of her waist.

She’d gulp, and nervously so. However, her lust would soon overshadow any other emotion she had brewing in her.

“What?” — Yunho found her feigned cluelessness a tad amusing, yet adorable.

If anything, it’s only egging him on. “Where do you want my hands?” He’d elicit a soft gasp from her once his other hand moved to her thigh and began to rub it over her jeans, moving it up slowly, then down again, but not reaching her knee. His lips gently grazed against her skin as he moved them below her ear, placing a soft kiss there and whispering to her, “Tell me…”

“Tell me what you want…” His hand began to caress and lightly squeeze on her thigh, even moving his hand higher and closer to her crotch, but never actually making contact with it to tease her. “Who knows?… I might just give it to you.”

Her breathing grew heavier, and irregular. But so was Yunho’s as he continued to gently stamp his lips against her skin, creating a trail down her jaw.

“You really wanna know?” Y/n surprises herself since she was already finding it difficult to breathe normally for her to speak.

Yunho moves his head back, but just enough to see her face. “Why else would I ask, babe?”

You asked for this. Y/n knew exactly what she wanted, and she was ready to blame him for what she was about to tell him.

“I want to suck you off.”

Yunho almost choked on his own saliva. It wasn’t the answer he was anticipating at all — not that he was complaining since his dick throbbed in his pants from hearing that.

“Are you sure?”

Y/n doesn’t think twice about nodding and confirming her desire,and getting on her knees in front of him.

“Shit.” Yunho mutters under his breath upon the sight of her on her knees, looking up at him like a hungry little kitten. He used his eyes to trace the curves along the sides of her body, and the curve that shaped her breasts.

She then sat up and brought her hands on his knees, slowly moving them up his thighs as she leaned closer to the growing erection in his pants. But just as she’s grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants, he stops her by grabbing her wrists. She looks up, averting her eyes from the bulge that was dearing to poke through the fabric of his pants.

Yunho breathed in for a moment, brushing his thumbs against the back of her hands as he held them and spoke. “Are you sure-sure that you’re down for this?”

She found it funny that he’d stop her to ask again, that’s why she chuckled a little. The only thing stopping her from entirely engulfing his cock is his sweatpants, and boxers — or briefs. Her eagerness was painfully obvious by then.

“Why else would I be on my knees?” — there was a slight hitch in Yunho’s breath when he realized she was teasing him, imitating the way he had spoken to her earlier.

And so, he’d lose his grip on her wrists, letting her tug down what was restraining his wood. His cock darts out, and Y/n catches it before it hits his stomach. She was so tempted to just gobble him up, but as her eyes scanned the size of him, she was swallowing her spit. Even the veins on his cock protruded.

Yunho caught the way her thighs become magnetized to one another as she held his dick. He couldn’t help the groan that escaped him when her hand stroked up his length, and instinctively, his hand made a handle out of her hair. She stared up at him, surprised how much of an effect that one move had on him. She, of course, did the only rational thing and stuck out her tongue, leaning forward to have a taste of him.

The moment her delicate tongue made contact with his tip, his fingers would become more entangled with the strands of her hair whilst his other hand lifted his sweatshirt high enough to expose his toned stomach. Then her lips parted wider, wrapping around the head, and slowly enveloping his cock she lowered her head — and fuck. He’s been accustomed to his hand for a while now, and the heat of her mouth was driving only made his dick harder than it already was, if that was even possible. Whichever way the sensations he was feeling were to be described, one thing was clear in his mind — he was receiving the best head of his life.

He didn’t even ask her to, nor have thought about it, but her tongue moved with precision, she was expert with swirling her tongue around the head of his cock just as she was with typing down codes. He’d find himself tugging rather harshly on her hair when she sped up the bobbing of her head. That, paired with the sounds of slurping and plopping, and his view of his dick disappearing into her mouth repeatedly had him losing the point of breathing. He’s got his head thrown back, fighting to keep his eyes open to see how she devours his dick and drives him to the brink of insanity.

“How are you so good at this?” His words came out in labored breaths, still crudely holding onto her hair.

She hears him, but doesn’t pause one bit. She only ends up doing more. She’d begun to suck harder, and the second time her skilled and warm mouth constricted around his cock, he almost blew his cum into her throat. And she felt it. She felt his cock twitching against the walls of her oral cavity.

“F-Fuck-slow down for a s-” — The fuck not. Why would she when she’s so close to fulfilling the little fantasy she’s had ever since he came into the office in those sweats.

He kept twitching in her mouth, and her hair was bound in a twisted and tangled mess in his hand, the other nearly breaking the armrest of the chair he sat on with how tightly he’s been holding onto it the whole time. His hand moves by itself and pushes her head down, the same time his hips snapped up, and he would end up shoving his cock’s head deeper into her throat as his cum erupts into it.

The fluid coats the enclosure of her mouth as she pulls herself off — and with a mass of struggle. She wasn’t able to swallow everything like she’d hope, but she was nearly choking. She thought his cum would drip out of her nose because there seemed to be so much of it.

She used the ends of her sleeves to wipe around her lips that were glossed with her spit and his cum, and Yunho watched her as she did so. He was amazed by her talent, for a lack of a better word.

“Do you usually blow guys in your office?” She nearly chokes, again, not only on his cum, but with her own spit as well.

“Are you serious?” The ends of her brows were nearly touching as she questioned his words.

“Hey, hey — I’m just trying to say I’ve never gotten it this good.” A breathy chuckle sounds from his mouth, and he uses his hand to brush his hair back. “Until you, of course.”

Y/n’s head tilts to the side as their eyes meet, one smirk mirroring the other. “The last time I gave someone head was in highschool.”

Yunho found it hard to believe and somewhat amusing. If he had known her then and he knew she sucked that well, then he would’ve had her to himself up until now.

“So, what? You took a degree in blowjobs?” He receives a rather weak blow against his knee from what he had said, but he only chuckles.

“A master’s.” And she played along anyways.

The room was filled with soft laughter, before the two would end up locking eyes like their pair had magnets drawn to the pair of the other. It was oddly sweet and warm in Y/n’s chest, as she could see how the lines of his eyes softened along with his gaze. But that was until she’d look down.

“Would you mind hopping on the table? Or are you in for a ride?”

Of course. They weren’t done. Thankfully he’d asked, because then, she was suddenly reminded of the pool in between her legs.

Instead of giving him an answer, she’d undo her pants. And before taking a step forward, Yunho had already reached for her hand, carefully pulling her closer with a stupid, sly grin on his face. His eyes were locked on the damp part of her panties. He could see the imprint of her clit, and the slit over her panties from how the fabric stuck to her because of how wet she was. He could also smell the scent of her slick, from which he felt his cock twitch in response.

She didn’t know it, but even back when his cock was still settled in her mouth, he had already been thinking of how he’d get back to her, and how her pussy would be. He was almost certain she’d milk his cock so well. He would have had her bent over her desk, but she was already on top of him and this, of course, was nothing for him to complain about. She lowers a bit of her weight, causing his tip to rub against her clothed clit.

He needed to feel it, before anything else. And so his hand reached down in between their bodies, fingers immediately making contact with the wet patch on her panties, rubbing circles on her clit twice. She thought right about his hands and those lengthy fingers. They knew exactly what to do with her. She held onto his shoulders tightly when she felt the fabric over her hole being pushed to the side. The tip of his finger dipped, making some of her fluids drip down to his palm. Then he pushed it in. He feels her gummy flesh surround and hug his finger, but before he delved deeper, he adds another. For a moment he watches how her cunt took his fingers, then looks up to see her sweet little face — teeth sunk into her bottom lip and eyelids heavy as he slowly pumped his digits in and out of her tight little hole.

“Are they as good as you imagined they would feel?” His voice was quiet and thick, breath hot against her face as he whispered to her. “You’re strangling my fingers, babe… hope you don’t… suffocate my cock.”

She was slowly going mental the more he drilled her fingers into, having found her thoughts emptied of any rational once and replaced with every lustful word he speaks to her. He had been holding her stable with his other hand that resides just above her ass holding her up.

“Tell me you want my cock baby…’’ There was a pleading in his tone, gravelly yet almost desperate, murmuring as his fingers seeked deeper into her.

“Y-Yun… Yunho…”

Her short and faint whispers of his name had his hips bucking up without his full consciousness. “Say my name again and ask for it… ask for my cock, baby.”

It was difficult for her to even construct a reply because of her soft gasps turning into quiet moans.

“Yunho… can I have your c-cock? Please… fuck… fuck me…”

The thing was all for show, to tease her and himself, stalling their climax a little bit more, because he knew this wouldn’t be the typical sex for him.

He quickly withdraws his fingers from her to which she’d whimper from, but then his hands grasped her hips and lifted her so that she was positioned right above his erect dick. Her hands clenched on his sweatshirt that he would swiftly take off and throw some place on the floor. Her hands roamed his body like a map, feeling his bare skin, and the firmness of his muscles that were only in her imagination almost an hour ago. To make it even, he sneaks his hands into her shirt, and underneath the cups of her bra, finding her breasts.

“Can you take this off?” He asks her as he fondled her mounts, thumbs toying with her stiff nipples.

She could only nod whilst she kept her lip bitten down with the sounds of her whimpering. She slowly pulled the clothing up and over her head, leaving it to fall on the ground. But while she does so, Yunho’s hands move elsewhere — to her waist, holding her stable as he shifts his hips, driving his tip into her opening. He looks up to watch her face as he moves his hips again, then holds hers to guide her down to meet him.

There was a slight tremble in his body as he bottoms out. Her cunt swallowed his cock whole and enveloped it tightly, so much so that he couldn’t help but throw his head back.

“So fucking good… Y/n…” He kept his thrusts slow at first, guiding her movements until she was moving on her own.

Their pace gradually quickened, and he’d take a peek down, watching how her pussy took him.

“You’re taking my cock so well,” “Your cock feels so good…” — the two had spoken at the same time, which he found to be comical, but under pornographic means.

“Yeah?” He smirks and fucks harder into her, but then his smirk would fade upon realizing how close he actually was to cuming.

But it could only be perfect timing, because you were already clenching around him, as close to finishing just as he was. And as if it was meant to be, they were looking into each other’s eyes as he continued driving his cock into her, until he felt it threatening to seep out. He pulls himself out of her by lifting her up and settling her on his lap just as she came. His cum spurted onto her stomach and dripped down in between them.

The two pants in chorus, foreheads pressed together as they kept their gazes bound to each other.

“The script…” Yunho chuckles at the first words she’d utter after taking her fill of his dick, as if she didn't do just that.

“It can wait.”

“I can't.” She was about to hop off of him, but he kept her in place. “Another round can wait-”

She was shut off by his lips, moving against her in a gentle glide, and she reciprocated, because who the hell wouldn't?

The kiss, however, was quite light-hearted, and thank heavens because she thinks she wouldn't be able to take him without a mental check-up.

When the kiss was broken, Yunho moved the chair they were on closer to her computer.

“Yunho, maybe you’d want to put your shirt on at least?” Y/n was caught off guard by a wee bit because of his suddenness.

“Why? You're not enjoying the view anymore?” He receives a hit on his chest for that, and he’d only cackle his ass off. “Now let's see that bug you were talking about.”

Yunho scrolls through the source code to scan for the error, and Y/n just rests herself against him, staring at his face shone over by the high luminance of the computer monitor.

“It's a mandel. I need to rewrite everything.” Her mumbling caught his full attention. And he’d smile.

He brings his face closer to hers, letting the tips of their noses touch as he teased her. “Maybe for you. But if I end up fixing it without redoing the script, you owe me one.” She giggled quietly, and continued to stare at him, which he’d eventually call her out for. “I don't get what's so funny, miss.”

She went silent for about a minute, and Yunho thought he had to speak again until she beat him to it. “You know, besides that bug, I’ve been thinking about…” She pauses, but before Yunho tries to speak again, she finishes her thought. “You. The whole day ever since you arrived.”

She watches his reaction, which would just be a silly grin from him.

“And yes, I fantasized quite a lot. You were in the way of me trying to figure out how to fix that bug-”

“Oh, so it's my fault?”

“Yes!”

They both paused for a few seconds, before eventually laughing at how the situation turned into sheer ridiculousness.

“What can I say, I'm irresistible.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The two would rest from the jokes and the light bickering, and Yunho would continue to operate the IDE, checking and editing what was needed to be of her script. The silence became their comfort as time progressed, and both bodies basked in it, serving as the only warmth in the air-conditioned office — considering that they were both still half-naked.

Though, curiosity always beats the cat. He feels the warmth, becoming a heat low in his stomach. Maybe it was unusual, or maybe it was because Y/n still lies almost completely bare on top of him.

“So… did we do everything you fantasized about?” His voice was once again in a raspy whisper as he spoke, moving his hand along her thigh, and-

She snores.

He immediately stops in his tracks and looks over her slumbering form. He knew she was tired from work. And he figured that them fucking was going over her limits. He continued the work he had initially come for, and upon finding the bug they were previously debating on, he chuckles. She was right.

It was a shame. He sounded too confident for his own good, but at the same time, she admitted to being distracted, not exactly refuting his claims against her classification of the bug. It would take a lot of time to configure, more work and less breaks. But he's here now, with his little boss lady resting on top of her. This seemed to be her first actual break in a while as he's observed from her manner of snoring and heavy-like-a-corpse body laying on him. If this was how she preferred to have her breaks after all, then who was he to deny her of it.

He definitely doesn't mind giving her head in return for her next break.

part 1 (??)

#ateez smut #ateez yunho #jeong yunho #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez x female reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #atiny #ateez fanfic #ateez fic

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thalthanmadanus · 1 month ago

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i like your viewpoint on draco, i really do think his age matters a lot when it comes to the gravity of his actions. specifically in 6th year, people forget draco is literally only a month older than harry and theres was a scene specifically showing how they were the youngest in their year. meaning, before his 6th year he probably was only 15 when a lot of the shit went down and then freshly 16 when handling the task. like, that is YOUNG and i know his actions do have consequences but i really dont know how people can compare him to the lengths of other grown adult characters?

Thank you! I think Draco is easily one of the most relatable characters in the series and the reason probably why some people resent him is that they keep focusing on specific actions he did rather than looking at the whole picture, his whole ass arc from the first book to the last one.

(like wow 6th year and 7th year Draco's characterisations are so delicious and yet... less brought up)

...

I think it's not just about age, my friend. If it were, I’d probably be more forgiving toward James. But that’s not the case for me.

There’s a whole ensemble of reasons why sympathizing with Draco is easier—if you just try, or even want to try. At least for me.

First, His Background:

From the very beginning, we’re introduced to an arrogant child with bigoted views. Views that are, without a doubt, shaped by his parents. You could even argue that lil bro doesn’t fully understand what he’s spouting؟ that he’s just parroting what he’s been taught.

Then this indoctrinated child gets placed in Slytherin, a house that reinforces the same prejudices he was raised with. His “friends” (Crabbe and Goyle) are the children of his father’s friends. His whole entourage is one echo chamber that the school system does nothing to break. This is a 101 textbook example of how a child becomes easily radicalized.

People overlook this, but growing up in an ideologically homogeneous environment is incredibly radicalizing. When everyone around you, especially the people who matter most, shares the same beliefs, it reinforces the idea that they must be right. I mean, why would they be wrong?

Which brings me to my next point.

Draco Was Never Ideologically Challenged.

Throughout the books, we never see anyone truly confront Draco’s views. Sure, he gets insulted, hexed, or beaten up every time he opens his mouth, but we don't ever see anyone (old or young) who actually sits him down and tells him why he’s wrong. No debates, no real pushback—just dismissal or violence.

And that doesn’t change people. If anything, it deepens their resentment. It makes them double down.

(This is not me saying the trio or whoever should have been uwu with Draco.. No. This is me trying to see how Draco came to be the person he is)

(ofc Doylistly speaking I'm asking too much from this series, but this whole rant is from a Watsonian perspective. Bear that in mind please).

I think this is why fifth year Draco is also interesting because, by the end of OoTP, you’d expect Draco to go full-blown Death Eater, to be about that life. The pieces are all in place. He’s angry, humiliated, and has every reason to lean into that path. The dominoes are stacked neatly to be pushed.

Then Half Blood Prince happens.

The entire book revolves around Draco’s struggle with the idea of killing. He hesitates. He breaks down. He panics. And that’s what makes him so compelling.

There’s a quote from a video I love that sums it up perfectly: "Draco is the least equipped character, yet he’s put through the most difficult ethical situations"

Second, Draco as a Person :

His reluctance to kill in HBP isn’t just about him being young, it’s about who he is. Narcissa says, “He’s just a boy,” but it’s more than that. Draco, for all his big talk, is repulsed by real violence. He’s a shit-talker, not a fighter. (at least not in the traditional way?)

Compare him to James. When the Marauders cornered Snape in Snape's worst memory, Snape’s first instinct was to attack—because he knew an attack was coming. But when Draco, Greg, and Goyle cornered Ron in Hogsmeade? Ron just stood there, enduring the insults. The difference in their reactions says a lot about the difference between their bullies.

Draco, compared to James, is non-threatening.

So non-threatening that when Harry saw Snape’s worst memory, he didn’t compare James to Draco—he compared Draco to a possible victim of the twins paralleling the marauders, (although in a negative way)

So non-threatening that Ron and Hermione, who supposedly suffered under Draco’s bullying, laughed at the idea of him being a Death Eater.

So non-threatening that Moaning Myrtle, the ghost who literally cries all the time, pitied him.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Draco can be cruel. But his cruelty is immature, performative, childish. The moment he’s faced with a situation that requires actual, meaningful true to the word cruelty, he hesitates. He fumbles.

He’s naïve, and not just because he’s young but also because he was sheltered. He was loved, protected, raised in comfort.

While most characters were fighting in OoTP, Draco was sulking over missing out on a fake secret weapon/jk

Maybe that’s why he’s non-violent? Maybe it’s because, unlike so many others, he was cared for as a child??

And in the end, that’s what stops the dominoes from falling as expected.

His so-called cowardice? In his case, you could even call it a virtue.

I could go on longer and longer about 7th year Draco but what sums it for me is again a quote from the same video: "Draco is the only character who we're shown self-reflected."

The summary of his arc is basically: immature kid is racist, when confronted by what could be heavily serious consequences of his racism he gets so shooketh he stops being racist. and imo this is so realistic and that why it's easy to sympthize with and relate to.

I mean who from us didn't have problematic views and grows out of it? Are the people harping over 12-year-old Draco being “evil” really trying to say they’ve never been wrong about anything in their lives? or they've neved did anything wrong to anyone and then changed? Especially as children who are known to react more on emotion rather than logic.

Finally, I want to just conclude that for me Draco is sympthetic because he embodied all these points at the same time.

(Age + personality + background)

Take one out and yeah no, I'm not interested anymore.

There are other points but I feel I'm making this longer than necessary.

#I also relate to these points in a very vague sense #mind you I was bullied #Yes No one owes Draco forgiveness #but Draco also doesn't owe them his right to change and move on #which he *did*#change that is. with or without Harry #I also wanted to talk about his very good qualities #he's loyal #and he loves strongly #but he also is shown to not fall under pressure #“follow your heart” type shit

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ricottish · 3 months ago

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oc time!

Hello hi this is my OC Reese Mackintosh. I've made him based off of a genre of some people on youtube who are just miserable fucks who make cringe compilations. I (unfortunately) used to frequently consume cringe comp/very negative commentary content when i was 10-14 and I'm NOT proud of it. It's seriously messed me up at a young age.

I'm having this take place in 2016 I dont care I do want! Why 2016? That's when I consumed the content and it's just when cringe comps and cringe culture overall were very popular (they are still popular today but in a different form)

Anyways yes Reese is one of those miserable youtubers who harasses others online without their name censored.

He's a 19 year old man who drinks a lot of energy drinks (red bull mostly. He has some cavities and avoids the dentist as much as he can!). Other than his youtube channel Reese is rather short-tempered, very critical and miserable, gets upset when people criticize him (hypocrite), pessimistic, and just a very insecure man with very fragile masculinity.

The only redeeming qualities he has is: while he's a fucking asshole he'll stand up for his friends if necessary (the type of guy who will say 'MY FRIEND ASKED FOR NO PICKLES!'), he's a pretty honest guy (sometimes the honesty is just him being an ass though.), and he's all bark no bite so no fists from him!

Aside having a channel Reese DOES draw but he does it more as a hobby than something he wants to pursue.

He hangs out with James the most, and James kinda sticks around to get some free stuff from him (snacks, beer from his uncle, video games except James just borrows them.) They're.. Alright buddies to say the least. He's met the others like Jaybird, Aaron and Rodney.

Reese isn't a member but he does hangout with the others sometimes and n LOVES joining in on their rants. Arguing with them too at times. He kinda enjoys their company because of how they fuel his hate.

I'll do a chart when i can how he feels about them and vice versa.

(i miss my old laptop that had a DVD player. )

I like to think Reese does.. Sort of develop as a somewhat better person the older he gets, he'll always still be a bitter asshole but he'll just tone it down and actually engage try to engage more with positive stuff.

thank u for listening to my OC ramble. He was made because of hate, not out of love. I hate him and cringe culture

#the eltingville club #the northwest comix collective #eltingville oc #??? idk leans more into the northwest comix collective than the eltingvilel club #northwest comix collective oc #stupid guy i hate him #james prolongo

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vxxcte · 4 months ago

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Extremely long rant on 001 & 457:

3.4k+ words

—

Intro

Yesterday I finished season 2 of Squid Game. I have so much to say about In-ho’s and Gi-hun’s dynamics and writing.

Keep in mind this is my interpretation of these characters and their dynamics, and some of that is speculation. I’m just yapping because I have a lot to say. Maybe this takes on a much more optimistic view than is actually the case, but I fear it makes sense to me.

I have seen two takes about 457 around pretty often:

“They’re in love.” or:

“In-ho feeds off of Gi-hun’s pain because he’s just an evil guy.”

These can both be true in a way, but when no one talks about the little details of the character writing and the relationship between these two guys, it feels like the incredible potential and writing that this duo has is being overlooked.

Note, I will be referring to this Youtube video throughout this post:

youtube

Now let’s start with what we know already. It’s pretty evident that In-ho is not totally emotionless like many people are trying to imply or interpret him as.

Here’s why.

—

Hwang In-Ho and The Traitor Archetype

There are two ways in which a character like 001 can be portrayed.

TYPE 1 : The undercover ‘friend’ who is working against the main character can be shown to the audience as the ordinary cast member, and then it will be a plot twist when the protagonist learns with the audience the truth of this character. Usually the demeanor of this undercover ‘ally’ is not shown too obviously because it might take away from the impact of the plot twist later.

TYPE 2 : or You can go down the route that Squid Game did go. We knew Frontman’s face, so it was no use trying to convince us he was a good guy. His personality was not exaggerated like some Type 1 characters can be. Characters like this are not particularly hidden from the audience’s suspicion/accusation because we already know. And in these cases, the writers do not often need to give these characters disguise-personalities. In Squid Game, we as an audience know where to look for the cracks in In-ho’s character, where the ways in which his real identity shows through.

There was that time he killed someone in front of Jung-bae. It would have been out of nowhere for a story where they hadn’t shown his identity before, but we knew exactly what was going on. So let’s look at the instances before it was shown directly to other characters.

Here are the instances where we know for sure that his real self is slipping through.

In-ho more than once asks people questions and engages with them in a manner that might not come across as too strange to them. But to the audience, those who know he is an outsider, and thus know to pay attention to the possible intent behind his every word, it stands out.

In-ho engages with the people who are truly inside the game as specimens to observe. That’s partly why he’s there, after all. For example, take the instance during the Mingle game where he questioned Geum-ja about her son’s character. He doesn’t need to hide his sort of objective, detached curiosity (which extends slightly outside Gi-hun), about these people and how they work, because no one is keeping an eye out for it.

Because of this, I believe he did not need to make any extra efforts to mask his natural personality, beyond the bare necessary minimum.

—

In-ho’s Humor

Another reason I think that him not faking his personality a good amount of the time is his humor. The jokes and the ideas for jokes that one comes up with is very telling of their inner processes and their ability to make connections between things. These also provide an insight as to what they themselves find funny, or what they think others around them will find funny/react to.

First the joke he made about Gi-hun’s last name, and then about Jun-hee’s child as a sixth member in the Mingle game, both display a sort of consistent sense of dad joke type of humor. It is hard to fake humor that you are not well-versed in, and even harder if you put yourself in an unfamiliar environment with little preparation, purely to observe people.

Considering the fact that In-ho is evidently still in the process of observing these people up close as people rather than players, it would have been difficult to first think of a joke that they would enjoy and then deliver it successfully.

He could have gone without. He characterized himself in the others’ eyes well enough to go without making these jokes. It’s not like he was putting on any false performance for us, the audience (as noted above), and he was only omitting certain information from the other characters. There should be nothing ulterior that motivates him to go further and come up with a new/different sense of humor.

This leads me (personally) to read these interactions as genuine. These were jokes he thought of and spoke aloud, not to fool Gi-hun and the others, but because they naturally came to his mind and he decided to share them.

And villain-type character as he is now, he is still a person.

—

In-ho and his Family

There are other moments we saw from him that were genuine.

There was the information we got from his mother and Jun-ho, how he gave his brother his kidney and how his wife died.

Then In-ho lost his composure when Thanos told him to lecture his own kid. This was not an act—It would have been entirely unnecessary if he wanted everyone to believe he was a nice guy capable of little harm. This was genuine from him, he lost control and it was reasonable and it was real.

So when he told Gi-hun about his wife and unborn child that he is supposedly now in the games for, the things we have seen so far also point to that scene being a genuine interaction from him. His expressions did not hide it either.

And if all of that is not enough, he did not kill his brother. He sent Captain Park to find Jun-ho. In-ho put his brother, who knew exactly who Frontman is now, who now has something to work with, over his whole operation—It wouldn’t be too large a reach to say this.

Hwang In-ho is Not Without Emotion

Now we’ve subverted the whole idea of In-ho being some emotionless monster that some people online want to say he is. He may lack morals but he does not lack personality/emotion.

I didn’t even get into the way he cheered in the 5-minigame rounds or the way the first thing he did when he found Gi-hun in the Games was knowingly shit-talk him to his face, but I already have this much. This is all my evidence for In-ho being very and incredibly human, my case for him having a defined personality, fake player aside.

This is almost all sourced from lines in the show, rather than just visual acting which can be interpreted multiple ways. Thus every bit of the things I talked about is likely intentional.

Justice for my queen In-ho he is a great character and I enjoy him and his writing a LOT.

—

457 Introduction

I like to call 457 toxic yaoi as much as the next guy, but it’s so much more than just the visible tension/chemistry between them. It’s more than enmity, it’s more than friendship and it’s more than romance too. Why stick labels on it when it’s so much more complicated?

Although on that note, before I get into the deeper stuff I just want to point out that all this staring at each other’s lips and whatnot was probably not something the actors decided to throw in on their own, considering the ‘I don’t understand it but it’s not unpleasant’ comment about the ship from Lee Byung-hun. So was it scripted for them to be doing allat? Lord knows, we’ll find out in June (fitting).

I am not even getting into how In-ho spoke to Gi-hun without his mask on and let him hear his real voice when Gi-hun won his first set of Games. There is something that has the potential to be very intimate about that.

And then there’s the little storytelling bit of how Gi-hun’s stubbornness reminds In-ho of his dead wife, and then how that exact determination was what wavered in Gi-hun at the end.

—

Pre-Games 2024

Let’s start with the limo dialogues, when In-ho told Gi-hun he wished he would’ve led a happy life.

He has no reason to wish Gi-hun ill, especially after Gi-hun won the games and left. In-ho likely saw himself in Gi-hun even back when Gi-hun won, and genuinely did wish him the happy life that In-ho himself did not end up having.

And how many people like Gi-hun has In-ho seen? Ever?

What kind of person does Gi-hun have to be, how notable in In-ho’s eyes does he have to be, for the person that administrates the Games to show himself to the person who wants to end them?

Gi-hun survived the Games without directly causing anyone’s death. In this place that tries to bring out the worst in anyone, even when Gi-hun fucked up in the marble game, he regretted it and turned back. This already sets him apart from anyone else, and especially sets him apart from In-ho, who took the darker road and climbed up the system.

You could say, ‘But other people have regretted their actions in the Games.’ But how many people get 45.6 billion won over 455 people’s deaths, and then come back, not for money, but to prevent further death? And how many people come back and become the Front Man?

Gi-hun went back with all that money to find his mom dead, presumably in a similar way to how In-ho went back with all the money he won but his wife died anyway.

There is a system that crushes people under it, In-ho realizes somewhere down the line, and then there is a way to remove those people. Gi-hun sees it another way: change the system.

—

Friends

Both of these people came into the Games for the sake of their loved ones. One came out of the process corrupt, and one returned determined to root out the corruption.

This year, aside from In-ho, there are 454 other people in this year’s Games that he does not know or necessarily care about. And then there is Gi-hun.

He knows Gi-hun. In-ho is a previous winner, just like Gi-hun, he is returning to the game for Gi-hun just as Gi-hun returned for In-ho. In-ho sees Gi-hun as more worthy of his time than anyone else. And all of this comes dangerously close to seeing Gi-hun as an equal, someone he has attached his narrative to, more than anyone else around.

And I think this opens up the possibility that In-ho could have come to see Gi-hun as a friend in some moments. There were moments in the games where he was a little too enthusiastic about their own wins for someone who does not need to put on a fully fake persona (and there was the instance with the soju which I get into later).

So surely there could have been moments where In-ho genuinely considered Gi-hun a friend, however short-lived the moments were, however foreign the concept of a friend has become to him.

I don’t mean this in the sense that there are full-fledged periods of time where In-ho is seeing Gi-hun as a friend, or that In-ho was spending any amounts of time being genuinely immersed as his persona. That feels like a stretch.

But you know when you dislike someone that you’re talking to? And in the moment, the awareness of your dislike fades for a bit, and you’re about to laugh at something they said. And then that’s when you realize you’re not actually supposed to be finding anything they say funny? You’re not supposed to actually fw them? This is what I mean by ‘moments In-ho might have seen Gi-hun as a friend.’

The difference between the example scenario (closest I could get) and what I think might be the case with In-ho is that in In-ho’s case, it is not purely borne out of dislike. Rather, it likely just occurs to him who he actually is now, reminds him that it’s not 2015. It reminds him why he’s actually in the Games this round, and that automatically can serve to detach him.

It can be difficult for a genuine person to consistently have an enjoyable person around people they have to fake their personality around, for one. And for another, he is the one who’s killing almost everyone here.

This part is, of course, more speculation and yapping compared to the rest of the post, which I actually tried to support with some form of logic or evidence. But I need to yap about all my speculations (This post is not purely analysis, as I mentioned at the start), and I think this take helps make better sense of the other instances with In-ho’s character that I’ve mentioned.

And this could be what In-ho’s ‘conflicted feelings’ about Gi-hun (from the video linked up top) are all about.

—

How In-ho Sees Gi-Hun

Gi-hun refuses to remain powerless. He acts for change, refuses to give himself over to the system like In-ho has. He doesn’t shut up and take the money he’s given. He keeps fighting to end the Games, for other people who are caught in it.

And this does not make sense to In-ho. We don’t know enough about him. Maybe he tried this exact same thing that Gi-hun is trying. Or maybe he never did, and became who he is without putting up a proper fight.

This is someone who, so far, has remained unbending in his goal for change. This is someone who, in a facility designed to make people prioritize their own survival, gave a man he barely knew for 3 days a magazine, while he himself was getting shot at, while ammo was short.

In-ho lies to Gi-hun about his name, but he tells him about his wife. He bares an old part of his soul to him, the part of it that lingers from back when he was like Gi-hun. He has seen immeasurable death and has caused it, but there was a time he might have wanted to stop it too, and now there is someone like that again.

In-ho bared a part of himself to the person who came here to take him down because he saw his old self in him. And in turn that person did something In-ho never would’ve done at this point in time—Gi-hun extended this seemingly-pointless goodness to him too.

I like to think In-ho was so interested in Gi-hun because he wanted to see how he himself might've become, had he only taken a different view of life.

In-ho might deep down be expecting him to fail, yes, but he roots for him, roots for a version of himself that never made it. He’s curious. Lee Byung-hun has said In-ho is conflicted about his feelings towards Gi-hun, and secretly might even root for him (see the link at the bottom of this post).

In-ho stares at Gi-hun so intently to try and understand him as best he can. He wants to know what’s going on in Gi-hun’s head, the changes someone undergoes in short periods of time in enclosed death game facilities, a new experiment in the head of someone who is returning a second time. How will Gi-hun hold up? He wants to see his future.

—

The Breaking of Gi-hun’s Resolve (or the Changing)

Gi-hun loses the plot.

He couldn’t save everyone at first like he intended, he couldn’t get out fast because they got his tracker, and his resolve weakens, and he deems it necessary to sacrifice some people for the greater good.

When Gi-hun realizes he can’t save everyone, when he trades in an unnumbered amount of people for a shot to end the whole system, and he gives in.

Maybe In-ho sees himself in that weakening of Gi-hun’s resolve. It’s possible he doesn’t like it because he genuinely wanted Gi-hun to remain unwavering, as Lee Byung-hun said In-ho rooted for him. Or maybe In-ho does like it, because he’s satisfied for the confirmation that his view was right, that his path was inevitable all along.

This could be another point of conflict for In-ho’s feelings towards Gi-hun. Maybe that’s why he decided to fake the death of Young-il right then and put a stop to that operation: Of course, it’s partly because he’s Frontman and he can’t let the Games end. But on another hand, the coup was failing anyway, even without his betrayal and return as Frontman.

This then brings to light the possibility that he decided that, because Gi-hun gave in, In-ho decided he’s seen enough from by Gi-hun’s side. It confirmed something for him, confirmed that Gi-hun’s failure was inevitable because of human nature. And that was enough observing from up-close.

But then that confirmation, Gi-hun’s reluctant admission to the need of collateral, is thrown into question again, only a couple of hours later, when In-ho meets up with Gi-hun and Jung-bae. Gi-hun gives In-ho a magazine when ammo is short, and even when In-ho asks him, “Are you sure?” Gi-hun insists.

Sure, Gi-hun traded all those lives for this opportunity, but he is willing to risk lessening his own chance for survival for the sake of his friends, too.

—

“Are you sure?”

Then there is the question: Why did In-ho ask Gi-hun if he was sure about giving him the magazine?

Why would he provide the opportunity to think again on this? It wouldn’t benefit him at all if Gi-hun were to take the magazine back—Not that Gi-hun would. Gi-hun doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean, especially not in situations like this, and this even In-ho should know.

It could be a final test of Gi-hun’s character. Or it could be that this is one of those moments where In-ho genuinely saw Gi-hun as a friend.

Lee Byung-hun has said (from the video) that In-ho’s character was a very nuanced and detailed one that he had to be very careful portraying. That look on In-ho’s face when Gi-hun gave him that magazine was not any error on the actor’s end. It did mean something to In-ho, whatever it may have meant.

—

Jung-bae, Gi-hun, In-ho, and soju

I’m gonna get into the technicalities of exactly what In-ho’s motivations were in taking this specific bit of Gi-hun’s and Jung-bae’s conversation and using it with Gi-hun later.

I don’t entirely disagree when others call it jealousy, but it feels unfitting to arrive at that conclusion with no further thought. So here’s how I see it.

When Gi-hun and Jung-bae were talking about going out for soju, In-ho was eavesdropping. Then later, In-ho tells Gi-hun later to go out for soju together someday.

If In-ho really intended the unfulfilment of the shared plan between Gi-hun and himself to devastate, this was not an ideal or necessary move, and I’m sure he knows that. And I’ve covered earlier, to my interpretation he does not bother to act like someone he is not unnecessarily.

It would’ve been smarter if he had his own conversation about future plans with Gi-hun, instead of leeching off the soju date idea that Gi-hun already planned with Jung-bae.

In-ho probably did plan on killing Jung-bae at that point, be it eventually or through the later Games, because he probably does not really care about anyone besides Gi-hun enough to spare them, or even just as much as he might care about Gi-hun (not necessarily platonically or romantically, maybe, but in terms of overall investment). And maybe he intended to use Jung-bae’s, and Young-il’s, death as another test of Gi-hun’s character.

But In-ho/Young-il’s ‘death,’ objectively and inevitably, means less to Gi-hun than the death of his best friend. This is not to say that Gi-hun subconsciously measures the weights or grief values of these deaths, obviously. It is just to say that he has known In-ho for only a couple days and it is bound to impact him less, just like how Ali’s death did not hit him quite as hard as Sang-woo’s did.

(Admittedly, season 1 did have a lot less focus on character relationships than season 2 does, but it wasn’t so little that a lot would’ve changed in Gi-hun’s reactions either way).

This, combined with the order and intensity of events in the last episode, most likely means that Jung-bae’s death overshadows In-ho’s ‘death’ in Gi-Hun’s mind.

And this would be obvious. So what purpose does ‘You can treat me with a glass of soju when we get out’ even serve? It’s not going to affect Gi-hun in the long run as much as Jung-bae would.

Gi-hun had a much-needed conversation with his good friend and their plan to get soju was borne of reminiscence of their shared past and desire to make it out. But when In-ho brought it up, it was done in an offhand manner in a two-sentence exchange. This is impossible to happen anyway and In-ho knows it.

If he wanted Gi-hun’s full investment in a plan to go out together, maybe for the purpose of hurting/testing him with it, surely he would’ve done something more than this. He knew it wouldn’t stick as well. So then why did he say it? What purpose would this actually serve?

If, even after all this, In-ho he thought that this soju appointment would affect Gi-hun as much as Jung-bae’s might have, then I might say jealousy nurses delusion.

Or maybe it was something genuine. Maybe that moment, when Gi-hun thanked him for saving his life and In-ho said ‘You can get me a glass of soju when we get out,’ maybe that was another one of those short-lived moments in which In-ho did see Gi-hun as something like a friend.

—

Conclusion

Because of the fact that he is more genuine than one might originally guess (according to my interpretation), I would like to say that he did consider Gi-hun a friend sometimes.

And their dynamic is just so fascinating to me. Likely the first I’ve ever seen of this kind.

They’re in love, they hate each other, they’re friends, they’re opposites.

They’re the first person the other looks for upon separation, they’re trying to put a stop to the other’s plans, they’re good friends.

They’re representations of the roads the other didn’t take, they’re mirrors, they lean into each other more than necessary even when cuffed together, In-ho finds the pieces of humanity he lost in Gi-hun, they’re foils, they were friends.

I won’t be recovering for a while.

59 notes · View notes

oimitocat · 5 months ago

Text

TSWCP — CHAP 3

lee minho x m!reader

chapter summary; you just can’t live with the silence. you can’t bear it. this time, you prove minho you really will risk it all for him. will he take it or leave you with your heart bleeding in your hands?

content warning; subtle internalized homophobia + subtle insecurity + tension + constant change of pov (mainly minho’s) + crying + makeout session

content genre; idol au + actor au + fluff + angst + 9th member! reader

word count — 6.4k | m.list | a/n; this sucks btw ;(

it’s cold. frozen and heavy.

that’s how you could describe your heart after what had happened days ago. your mind? static. looking for signal. waiting on connection.

concert tours are coming up. your management had managed to sort something out with the executive directors of the drama so that once you come back from tour with the group, shooting wouldn’t be delayed or a hassle. the thought of it is dreadful. you still have to pull off a few conferences and amidst your tour dates some photo shootings have been crushed into your schedule.

as much as it pisses you off, it also can’t be helped.

“what’s your favorite scene?” an interviewer asks.

you blink, having zoned out. gayoung’s soft touch on your knee brings you back to your current position.

“me personally,” gayoung says with her fluent english. “i really loved the scene where i had to ride a horse.”

you stare at her before smiling. the other actor, another close friend of yours on set is minwoo, he laughs.

“i had to help her five times to climb on that thing because she kept slipping.”

“ah, the cons of being a gnome,” you tease automatically.

everyone busts laughing while gayoung gives you an offended expression. she starts an argument, you feed it.

minho clutches his phone as he watches the interaction from his screen. the video had been posted not so long ago now. he can’t help it, seeing you from a screen and aching. why had he been so stupid? kissing you? confessing?

you two could never be as perfect as you and gayoung are. your chemistry is absolutely beautiful. it’s so natural. how could he ever compare to something like that. much less now? he ruined what he had with you. was a kiss really worth it? absolutely not. not after the rift he created with you became unmendable.

“y/n, since the drama is based on a book, it has been said that the first few episodes on the next season you’ll have to portray heartbreak, betrayal and desperation. will that be hard for you?”

he watches how you shake your head immediately, that joyful expression you had dropped “i have to display a raw emotion, most of the time we as actors have to study how to display something we’ve never experienced but in this case, i’ve actually experienced heartbreak and desperation.”

minho’s eyes widened a bit. are you insane? how could you say that with your girlfriend right next to you?

“could you maybe give us some insight on that?”

“well,” you look up at the ceiling for a moment. then you look back at the screen but for some reason it feels like you’re looking at him. as if you knew he was watching. “as an idol and actor you need to let go of many things you end up carrying, i think everyone does and everyone has someone to seek out and trust enough to simply rant and be yourself with. yet, things kind of change when you grow in the industry… maybe the fans don’t know this about me but i cherish those who i’m close with and will always find a way to keep our bonds, despite how i seem like i’ll let people come and go- it’s nothing like that. filming this drama took a lot out of me…”

“it not only took away my sleep but it took something else away. i loved shooting it, but if i had to do everything all over again…” you pause, sighing, “i think i would… but i’d change a lot of things and work hard not just to keep my career going but to keep those around me too. yeah, maybe we can’t stop people from leaving when they decided they will no matter what but it doesn’t change how horrible that feeling is.’

“you have gayoung though, as a couple i’m sure you share your burdens with her now, right?”

bitterness flashes across your features for a moment. no one has caught that, no one will. only minho.

because as much as it hurts… he’s the only one that knows you more than you know yourself.

“of couse,” you smile. bitter. “just shows that when someone won’t be there for you, someone else will.” you pause, “and be better.”

ouch. minho turns off his phone, he covers his face into his hands and breathes wetly. he really is the worst, isn’t he?

fans have started to notice the distance between the two of you. bubble messages flood in every now and then saying they hope you and he are doing okay. he sees the comments questioning the silence that has been built between you two. the members know.

well, they don’t know you two had kissed or that he is inevitably in love with you.

but they know you two are not in good terms.

chan had questioned you about it and when you didn’t give him a believable answer he had seeked minho out. all minho said was — “y/n is just too busy to keep what we have, i made sure he focuses on his career.” which in turns absolutely outed the fact minho caused all of this. the look of disappointment chan gave him is the same one he gives himself after crying and looking in the mirror.

even crying feels illegal.

the worst part is you and jisung share the dorm with him. he hears jisung question you about your distance. he hears you talk to people— to gayoung — over the phone. he bumps into you on the way to the laundry, to the bathroom, in the kitchen.

he works with you.

he lives with you.

he misses you.

yet, you’re not his to seek out anymore. you’re his coworker now.

nothing more…

“where’s y/n? we’re about to board the plane,” jeongin says with a pout.

minho unconsciously looks around, equally wondering where you are. they had driven to the airport at around 10 and you weren’t in the dorms. through check ins, you still hadn’t popped up.

later, however, the video of you running through the airport with your bodyguard and manager blows up. minho finds that out in the van after landing in tokyo. he had wondered why you were so disheveled when you entered the plane.

“we have four concerts here in japan,” seungmin mumbles to himself, “we have one day to roam around, one morning left and then we’re off to the states.”

“doesn’t y/n hyung have a private conference in the states?” jisung asks.

“what?” minho frowns.

chan sighs, “he really needs to take a break. this whole year is going to be packed.” he rests his head back on the seat, “he barely managed to pull off the concerts in korea.”

“well we do have a few free days in between our concerts,” seungmin offers, “he’ll have some sort of rest.”

minho swallows. are you really that busy?

he still doesn’t get to see much of you. he’s had to hear hyunjin recap how you have 2 interviews a day before flying with them to japan. how you had to pull an all nighter to review a script for a morning commercial schedule. it’s crazy, he thinks. how are you alive.

when all of you come to the venue to rehearse, he sees you thrudge in after chan, who seemingly had to drag you here. your hair is everywhere, your face puffy from sleep, your large hoodie and baggy joggers make you look small. minho forces himself to look away, his heart clenching at your adorable sight.

practice goes alright, minho thinks. sound check goes well, jisung and changbin goofed off with the autotune. they had tried to pull you into their fun scheme but minho noticed how you grimly looked at them. it didn’t change how you still went along with it, always willing to entertain the guys. they’re your family just as much as they’re his. still, everyone is tense around you two.

because they know.

they know their favorite hyungs are in weird terms. they don’t ask, they don’t have to. it’s visibly written in the air.

“minho can you go check on y/n,” chan asks him the morning of the official concert.

everyone went through the same checks and passed. everything is ready. minho hadn’t really seen you today regardless, despite dancing and singing beside you. he truly does not recall you being around other than on stage, not even during lunch break.

“why me?” he asks without thinking, it even comes out bitterly.

chan stares at him for a moment. no one is around, just him and minho. “are you really going to drag this out?” he asks, tone evidently showing how angry he is, “everyone else is checking up on him except you. what are you two doing?”

minho looks away, fists clenching at his sides. “we’re just… not in a good spot-“

“and how long will that last? huh? y/n isn’t prideful like you are, so who is dragging it out?”

that was like a slap in the face.

“minho, don’t shut me out.”

yet minho closed the door and never dared get near it. you never begged again. verbally. he took notice of your sad eyes after the fight. he felt your presence begging to call for him. yet you didn’t. because you knew the door that was slammed in your face would never open again.

“i’ll check up on him before we get on stage,” he says softly.

chan sighs, “i’ll take it.”

backstage, as he’s getting in his outfit, he sees you thrudge around. on your phone. clearly you’re talking to gayoung. he sees you smile for a second before walking out. he can’t help but follow you out discreetly. you step behind a wall, he stays around the corner.

“i’m screwed,” you whisper. “so fucking screwed, you have no idea.”

minho steps back. well you’re alive and that’s all that matters. why would he check up on you? you don’t need him. you have the guys. you have gayoung. that’s clearly who you’re talking to.

he doesn’t need to overstep. your life isn’t something he’s involved in.

“minho! y/n!”

minho whips his head around, his heart pounding. does hyunjin have to be so fucking loud!? outing him like this!? he should leave before you realize he was right behind you- he makes the mistake of turning around again and coming face to face with you.

he’s caught.

he swallows and stares up at you. your dark eyes boring into him. you’re all ready to get on stage. he couldn’t even speak if he wanted to. there’s nothing to say.

the way you walk past him makes his heart drop.

the act was unfamiliar until 2 months ago. that’s how long he’s been dragging it out. that’s how long it’s been when he hurt your feelings and smashed his along. it felt like so little time but it felt like an eternity ago.

an eternity that is burned into his skull and haunts him.

not even the roar of the fans when they come on stage silences the thousands of thoughts in his head.

he’s on the stage feeling like a puppet. except his strings tangle with yours. the amount of times you bumped into him from stumbling were too many to count. he hates it.

and he hates how much he worries.

above all, he hates that he can’t near you.

and it’s his fault.

it’s probably the fourth concert day, the last concert in japan. they’ll be here for a day or so before flying back to korea.

your chest feels tight.

you get nauseous a lot. you can’t really stomach much. at most a soup you get at the hotel you’re all staying at but even that leaves you with an upset stomach.

you had filmed a commercial in japan, gayoung had been flown out here. it frustrated you, didn’t matter where you went, gayoung had to be involved somehow. the girl isn’t at fault, it’s the company, you know that.

“oppa are you sure you’re okay?” she asks.

you raise your head and look at your phone. the video call started thirty minutes ago when she finally landed and finished going through security. you don’t hate her, she’s a good friend. you haven’t kissed her, both of you strictly left that for the scenes only. you hug her, you cuddle her, you carry her but she’s not who you love. maybe as a friend. not as a lover.

“you look like shit ever since we finished the drama, i didn’t want to point it out,” she says, there’s a bit of a teasing tone but she’s also dead serious.

“a pretty girl like you shouldn’t curse,” you say with a sigh.

she stares at you before starting a string pf curses. you chuckle softly, shaking your head. you groan, your migraine returning. she immediately pauses.

“oppa, i’m worried for you. joking aside, you really do look like shit.”

you grunt, looking around the room, “i think i’ll feel better when i’m back in korea…”

she puts the phone close to her face, as if she could see you more clearly that way. “i hope so or we’ll have to shoot a ‘taking care of my boyfriend’ blog.”

“ugh no,” you whine.

she laughs, “just kidding, the company is going to make me show my concern though if something happens.”

you give her a face, “nothing is gonna happen gayoung, i’m fine. just not a hundred percent.”

“well as long as you get back home safely,” she says softly, “i care for you y/n.”

all formality is out the window. it always has been with her, you see her as a little sibling from how long you two have worked together for. almost a whole year and a half. you had known her before the drama but contact wasn’t fully established until then.

“i have to get going to the venue,” you finalize, dread expressed on your features.

“okay~,” she sing songs as she gets inside her van, “don’t push yourself, okay? see ya!”

“bye,” you throw a peace sign and she quickly mimics you before hanging up.

you drop your phone on your bed before scrubbing your face with your hands. sometimes you’re thankful that you’re dating a friend instead of someone you don’t know, you’ve heard companies do that so this isn’t bad. yet, it isn’t good either.

you’ve been like a zombie these last few weeks. taking all sorts of pills and gummies that would give you energy and help you get through concerts with a smile. you know the guys are worried about you, but you’re not the only one feeling overworked. still, you’re the one with the worst of it.

“let’s put on our best show,” chan says as he pats everyone’s backs. he pauses when he comes to you, “let me know if you need a break-“

“hyung, seriously,” you grimace. “you make me feel like i don’t belong sometimes.”

he frowns, realizing he overstepped. “shit, no. y/n that’s not what i meant- i just- you know that i know.”

you stare at him, almost mortified. “uh-“

“please get to the stage quickly!” a staff member says.

chan gives you a once over before heading out, you follow suit. your migraine hasn’t stopped. the roaring of the fans feels like a hammer being pounded on your skull from the inside. you genuinely contemplate taking up chan’s offer, especially when you zone out and step on minho’s shoe accidentally.

“my bad,” you say automatically, stepping away like you had been burned.

and maybe you were, with the way he looks at you annoyingly. when did you feel so left out like this?

you execute the choreography perfectly, smiling at hyunjin whenever he comes across you on a part. fans fawn over each and every one of you. yet, when your part comes during the bridge, you stop mid verse when something oozes out of your nose onto your upper lip. immediately, you look away from the camera and wipe it with your sleeve. the worst part is minho was behind you for the formation, his brows furrowed when you immediately stumbled when walking to the next formation.

“are you bleeding?” jisung asks ushered as jeongin sings.

you walk past all of them, jogging to the backstage. the bleeding won’t stop, normally you can just wipe it away and it’s unnoticeable but you knew this isn’t as easy. you’re hyper aware of your physical status.

“oh, here let me,” a staff member says as they guide you to a chair.

the fans are worried, chan clarifying that you’ll be fine makes it worse. how weak could you be?

“the bleeding stopped,” you say as you look at the clean tissue you pull away from your nose.

“ah, are you sure you want to go-“

“thank you for your care, if anything comes up i’ll let you know,” you bow low before heading back out after the second song.

there’s a moment where the members speak and chat, you anxiously return to the stage as jisung speaks to stay. you could stand beside anyone, they’re all dear to you and have been with you during tough times. yet, you unconsciously went to minho’s side, awkwardly standing there when you realize you shouldn’t have chosen him.

even now, does he really give you comfort? why are you lying to yourself like this?

“oh! hyung! are you okay?” hyunjin asks out loud on the mic.

you swallow before looking down at your mic, “minho hit me with his mic when i went to formation.”

what.

minho spins and looks at you. you clearly lost your mind.

“i’m good though hyung, no need to apologize.”

everyone on stage is looking at you like you really have lost it. minho’s eyes are like saucers. he hesitates before bringing his mic up to speak, looking away and nervously fidgeting with his inear.

“uh, my mistake, i didn’t realize you were that close when we turned.”

“hyung doesn’t realize his strength either,” hyunjin jokes nervously.

there’s no way to verify or deny that fact. in the formation you and minho are pretty hidden, so in the end, it’s a possibility no matter how slim.

“the fuck was that,” minho grits when all of you are backstage for an outfit change.

“hey, don’t fight,” changbin huffs.

you stand there stiffly, changbin between the two of you. everyone has run off, not wanting to get caught up in it. chan comes up to you two. minho glares at you before stepping back.

“i didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says, like he really did hurt you on the stage.

“but you did.” you say automatically.

“hey, hey, what matters is that you’re okay,” chan says, believing the words that came out of your mouths.

neither chan or changbin know that minho’s apology and your accusations are not from what happened minutes ago, but from what happened two months ago. you look away, turning to change.

now, things are worse. the anger you had from what minho did dwindled down into your suppressed sadness. you meant everything you said- you’d leave anything and everything to keep him. yet, why didn’t he want you?

you cover your face before your stylist fixes your makeup, you ask for a few moments and she goes on standby. your head is killing you, you want to cry from frustration, you absolutely want minho.

he always knew how to make you feel better.

how come the last time you fought him he kissed you? isn’t he hurting too? why is this so difficult?

by the time you’re back on stage with the other members, you can’t really stay focused. you trail behind anyone and everyone down the stage when some of the songs are free reign across the stage. you stick to jisung, the second closest member to you… well, maybe the first one now that minho wants nothing to do with you.

you watch him across the stage.

during the song there’s a beat pause. everyone looks at each other playfully, but minho’s eyes latch onto your gaze.

you smile at him, painful but yearning.

he at least has the decency to wave back.

and the flame of hope ignites in your heart again.

your life feels suffocating.

you can’t remember how many times you’ve been seen only as gayoung’s boyfriend. the idol with an outed relationship that bloomed from a drama. you get back to korea. you fly out for concerts. you fly out for interviews.

it’s constant movement.

everyone found out your nosebleeds come from stress and your lack of sleep. chan knows the most of it, he does lack sleep too. still, your life is busy even with not scenes to shoot.

minho isn’t handling that well. he hasn’t exactly stepped up to confront you about the situation between the two of you. nor has he approached you on terms outside of fan service. it’s not even as often as before, it’s crumbs of what the two of you used to do. ever since you started a relationship there’s constant war between fans when a member is too touchy with you.

you’re not an object, you don’t belong to gayoung. if only they knew the relationship was strictly a job on top of all your jobs. you were called in for modeling, for drink commercials, a cafe wanted to have a theme with the drama and you and gayoung had to sponsor their promotions for a week. the drinks were okay.

the food was okay.

nothing could beat minho’s cooking. sadly, you don’t think you’ll ever get the chance to eat it ever again. you and minho’s situation hasn’t gotten better nor worse. it’s just.. still.

you often stare at your ceiling at night when you have the luxury to be home early to rest. it’s not often but when you do… your mind drifts.

to how soft minho’s lips are. to the hunger you two had demonstrated. the way his soft breathes ignited a fire in your stomach. he took that chance and built a wall between the two of you.

“yah,” a voice calls out.

you jump, sitting up and whipping around to face your door.

“i made dinner.”

you look at the door as if minho opened it and stared at you. he’s behind the wooden pallet. he’s talking to you. your body twitches before you stiffen.

no.

you can’t.

you’ve waited all these months for this but you just can’t. something won’t let you. is it your self restraint? you don’t want to fight again. if you tried to bring up the topic he’d run away. he’ll somehow blame you. he’ll do everything possible to keep you at a miles distance.

he’s just being a coworker.

he’s obligated to show interest and care.

“i know you’re awake,” minho says.

is his voice trembling?

“i’m good.” you say softly, staring at the bottom of the door to see his shadow. it’s loud enough for him to hear.

if you accepted, two things could happen. you argue and make things worse. or you lose all control and take the riskiest bet of them all.

neither is good.

you don’t particularly care for your fame. you have enough in your bank to survive if you get fired or blacklisted. you have backup plans. yet, you’re not ready for it yet. you’re just waiting on minho to accept that he’s the one at fault, even if it’s indirectly.

when that will happen? you don’t know. maybe him wanting to eat a cooked meal was it. yet, your instincts tell you not now.

so you lay back down, hearing minho huff and stomp away.

he definitely thinks you hate him. you love him, but you want him to feel a little sting. it’s nothing compared to the scalding he gave you months ago, but giving him a little taste of his medicine won’t hurt.

at least you don’t hope so.

he has to reach out the right way.

and… you close your eyes and toss and turns…. and if he doesn’t do it before you finally decide, then you’ll have no choice to make the move.

just a little longer…

you hope your heart handles it.

he doesn’t near you. you’re used to it now, despite how much it hurts you.

it’s the end of the year and all of you are preparing for the award shows. you have many to attend— mma , mama, the baeksang arts awards. probably some more.

the biggest is mama. it’s one of the ones at the end of the year. the acting award is in may, or so you heard. thing is you’re a nominee and they’ll announce that further on, right now your main focus is the award shows of the month of december. it’s a stressful time, but not as stressful as when you were fresh of the drama.

since last month, you’ve had more time to breathe. to sleep too.

you do have the obligation to keep going on dates with gayoung. instead of being home alone with minho when jisung is stuck in the studio you choose to hang out with her. unknown to you- that hurts minho. well, maybe you do know.

“sound check done, thank you!”

all of you bow.

“hyung!” changbin runs to you, “i’m hungry!”

“yeah! me too!” seungmin yells.

you smile, adoring how cute changbin looks as he clings to your side. “and what do you want to eat? we have to start getting ready for our performance tonight.”

“crab!” changbin pouts.

“i want something else,” hyunjin argues.

you laugh, “just order what you want… you know where my card is…” everyone screams happily, “and remember to watch your intake, i don’t need anyone with an upset stomach during or after performance. also!” you point at them, “just buy food, i don’t want to recieve a bill of some video game purchase.” you eye felix who whistles.

minho simply watches you from afar. these past few months weren’t easy. still, he can’t bring himself to face you yet. why would he? your life is as perfect as it gets— you have a successful acting and idol career. you have a beautiful girlfriend. you have millions of doting fans. what would he speak to you for? his feelings? those are worth nothing for you, it’s destroy your image.

assuming you really did mean what you said all those months ago, what benefit would you get? he can’t do that to you. he can’t bear to think that you’d leave everything you worked so hard to build just for him… if he had ever said yes.

but he knows better.

and he knows his spot is exactly where he’s in- watching you from afar. seeing you work as an idol beside him.

“alright guys, let’s go show them what we’re made of,” chan says with a whoop.

minho simply won’t intervene.

despite how much rest you’ve had compared to a few months back, you still don’t feel your best. still, your performance is full of energy and charisma. the whole performance is full of crazy moves and entrances. the acts hyunjin and you pulled were the highlights of the whole stage.

by the second act, your place was to do a flip between two dancers, so that they would soon do a dance break with you. you’d have to wait for a few moments until felix finishes his line and everyone files to the side for you to do your part.

you’ve rehearsed this plenty of times, you know when to enter and when to wait. you know how many steps to take and when to turn. when to breathe and when to blink.

yet, you take the wrong step and fall six feet off the platform stage. bodyguards run to you as you groan, your trembling arms helping you push yourself off the ground. jeongin’s worried eyes are on you, he’s hidden from the amount of dancers before him.

“are you okay!?” a staff asks as they help you get to your feet.

you had fallen on your hands and knees. the impact was rough but the adrenaline makes it feel like you’re fine. your hand hurts bad though, or is it your wrist? you just stare down at your shaking hands, scratched and getting red. you wobble, your knees almost giving out. you need to get back on stage-

the dance break starts.

“help me get up!” you yell, panting.

“if you’re injured we have to-“

“you have to walk all the way around-“

“y/n-ssi you need to get checked-“

everyone is talking but not moving. you growl, grabbing a bodyguard and your stare was enough for everyone to get the gist. they hunch over and hook their hands to give you leverage, your foot wobbles from weak balance as you boost yourself up with their help. clearly everyone is confused and worried, yet you crawl onto the stage and quickly get on your feet.

the impact is starting to reveal where you’re hurt. your ankle is probably sprained, each step is killing you. your shoulder aches, your elbows sting.

still, you run and when your backup dancer catch you on their peripheral vision, they immediately step back to sync with you when you backflip and spin to the floor in a breakdance pattern. it’s the final steps of the formation you were supposed to perform, yet it still blew everyone away and regained the attention of everyone.

going through the rest of the choreography was killing you. it took everything in you to not wobble as you did your lines and performed with the rest of the members.

the worst part? was that after forcing yourself to stand still for approximately one minute as the performance comes to an end for the cameras to stop rolling, you lose your balance when going down the stairs and once more, you fall from the three foot high staircase that lead to the backstage.

“hyung!” jeongin cries out, catching everyone’s attention.

medical staff already surround you as you lay on the floor, groaning and grunting.

“what’s going on?” minho asks, eyes wide and his heart pounding.

“hyung fell off the stairs!” changbin exclaims.

“he also fell off the stage,” jeongin sobs, “and he still hopped on and kept going-“

“hey, hey, let’s let them work,” chan says, gathering the kids away despite his anxiety skyrocketing.

minho doesn’t budge at first, his glassy eyes fixated on your body as the medics put you on a stretcher when you say how much it hurts to move. he’s worried sick, you really pushed yourself that bad? he can’t wonder if you’re insane or passionate. no one really enjoys the rest of the ceremony. during the speech chan mentions how passionate they are for their dream, even mentioning how y/n pushed himself to give the best performance even when he shouldn’t have.

back in the dorms chan texts the chat, saying you had dislocated your left shoulder and wrist. you’re bruised on your elbows and knees, the height would have fractured them but you had placed all your weight in the impact in your hands, causing one wrist to suffer more. two to three months until you’re fully recovered.

they still have to perform. minho can’t help but cry, he knows very well the company will make you keep going through promotions and schedules no matter how hurt you are.

and he’s nervous. how will he put aside his actions in order to care for you? you live right next to his room, how could he feign interest when you’ll be in need of assistance for a while? hyunjin was the same, so how could he not intervene?

his biggest fear is this— what if you don’t let him?

he’d deserve it of course. you have every right to refuse his help and care.

it gnaws at him for the three days straight that you’re in the hospital. it was per your request to stay for a little longer. how will he face you? is now the right time? no. yes?

he isn’t sure if he’s crying from guilt, self hatred or anxiety anymore. so when he hears your familiar footsteps inside the dorm he freezes. jisung is with chan and changbin again, coincidentally saying he’ll be home extremely late, he enters a frenzy.

he hears your gruttal sigh as you walk inside your room, your door closes.

well. it’s now or never.

you either reject him all together — reject what? he doesn’t know. he has no idea what he’s going to say, no idea if he’ll ask to console you or to apologize for what happened or what. something has to be done, though, and if you never let him get close to you again then he’ll understand that it’s the consequences of his actions.

he takes a deep breath as he heads out of his room. he swallows the knot in his throat when he stands before your door.

“leave me alone, minho,” you say before his fist even makes contact with your door to knock.

he stares at the door as if it was it that spoke to you that way. “y/n… i-“

“just leave me alone they way you said you would. you don’t need me so i don’t need you either.”

minho breathes shallow, “y-you don’t mean that-“

“the fuck do you want?” you groan, “what? i get hurt and now you decide to speak to me?”

your voice cracks at the end of your grievance. it breaks minho.

“i’m sorry,” he sobs, “i shouldn’t have been selfish! i shouldn’t have hurt you like that! shouldn’t have shut you out!”

he hiccups and takes a step back when you open the door. through blurry sight, he looks at you. you stare down at him, why are your eyes so tender?

“but you did…”

“i just knew if i didn’t i’d have no restraint,” he sniffles, “i love you.” he whispers, looking down at the floor, “seeing you with her hurt so much. knowing you smell like her made me nauseous. knowing she was your new focus made me feel like i didn’t belong in your life anymore-“

“minho,” you grab his chin with your free hand, tilting his face up. “why does it take me getting hurt for you to speak to me again?”

minho shakes his head, “i just can’t come between you and gayoung-“

“me and gayoung are dating by contract, not because i love her.” you confess, finally letting that out. “you think i want to be with her?”

minho pushes your hand away, hot tears streaming down his face again. “what will the company think? we won’t work! you have so much to lose and-“

“you think i give a damn about all of this!?” you push him forward until he’s trapped between you and the wall. “i love you, lee minho.” you stare at his mortified expression, “i stand by what i said. for you, and only you, i’d give up everything.”

“your career-“

“none of this means nothing if you’re not in it!” you grab his chin again, “you don’t have to love me back, you don’t have to accept my feelings! just, just talk to me again, please,” you beg, your own eyes glassing over, “don’t just be my coworker, be my friend again. be my safe place again. i-i’ll put away my feelings for you, we can forget that i love you but don’t shut me out again.”

“y/n…” he stares at you, realizing how truly broken you’ve been since that day.

“that’s what i meant that day… none of this is worth it if the one person that made me feel like i belonged isn’t with me.”

“oh, y/n…” his bottom lip trembles, “have we really been that blind?”

you close your eyes and sigh, “i understand you’re scared of the public eye…”

“i am…” he whimpers.

“but i’d walk through fire if it meant i’d have you as mine for the rest of my life.”

he locks eyes with you, drowning in the warmth of your orbs. his heart hammers in his chest again, would he do the same? what is he really scared of? loving you and risking his career?

no, he concludes.

“y/n….” he says shallowly before leaning in to kiss you.

he’s scared of losing you and realizing everything he has isn’t worth that.

you kiss him with passion. his soft lips syncing with yours, saliva mixing with yours as your tongue grazes his. your hands grab his waist and pull him flush against you.

“ngh- y-your wrist-“ he tries to say as you eat his mouth.

“don’t care,” you grumble as you attack his lips without remorse.

the pesty sting in your bone doesn’t matter when he’s finally in your arms. his whimpers and moans make you want more. you know he’ll sound even more beautiful beneath you in the sheets, taking all you have to offer.

just the thought accelerates your heart rate. the beautiful man you’ve always wanted is finaly before you. the kiss means more than a confession. you place your hands behind his thighs, he makes a noise when you lift him up.

“ah- your shoulder-!”

“it’s okay baby, what you make me feel is bigger than the pain,” you tease as you carry him to your bed.

he can’t scold you or complain because you attack his mouth again. you grin into the kiss as you sit on the edge of the bed with him on your lap. it’s probably the hottest thing minho will ever experience. he straddles your waist for more comfort in this position, hands running through your hair as you kiss along his jawline. when you kiss a certain spot, he twitches and whines.

with a lazy smile, you pull away and look at him.

“let me take you,” you beg softly, panting.

he swallows, looking down at the tent in your shorts. “but gayoung-“

“can you stop mentioning her?” you growl, pulling him down by the hips so that your boner pokes him through his joggers. “she will never have me the way you can.” you kiss his ear, making him shiver, “the way you will.”

“i’m scared,” he voices out. he wraps his arms around your neck, “i-i want to say yes but… there will be no going back, y/n…”

“it was never a choice,” you say.

and he lets you push him down onto the bed.