#this is just my interpretation of that whole fiasco

[anotherbananasong]

Looks like it’s Banana Story Time.

2023 Christmas Ghost Fiasco

Context: my three nieces are home alone because it’s Christmas break, my younger sister and brother-in-law are at work. They live ten miles outside town on their own little homestead. My older sister is in town for the holiday, my first time seeing her since early summer of 2023.

Under the read more, cause it’s a long one.

My oldest niece texts us to get McDonald’s for lunch. I tell my older sister I’ll be at my parents’ house in ten minutes to pick her up, and we’ll take them lunch together.

I get to my parents’ house. I’m listening to Ghost. I text my sister that I’m outside cause it was cold and I didn’t want to get out of the car. Ten minutes go by, and I’m irritated cause I hate waiting. I end up getting out of my car and go inside. My sister is on the couch going through her emails. She laughs it off cause she didn’t hear her phone go off right behind her. So I’m like, okay, little thing, no big deal, calm down, Banana. We get to McDonalds. I ask my sister what she wants and she says a “plain McDouble”. So I order her a plain McDouble. As we’re going around to the window, she says she meant everything that normally comes on it (mustard, ketchup, pickles, and onions). So a regular/standard McDouble. I HATE changing orders at the window, so I am irritated for having to inconvenience the staff because I know they’re already working hard to begin with. But they accommodate and it’s fine. As we’re leaving, my sister says she forgot her chapstick, and can we go back to the parents’ house to pick it up. Banana rages inside, but says fine. We get to my parent’s and she has BANANA go in and grab it, because she’s holding the drinks. Irritated cause now I’m out in the cold again just for some cursed chapstick. I have to ransack the couch for it, but find it anyway.

We finally get to heading out to deliver lunch to my nieces. As we’re driving, “Mary on a Cross” comes on and my sister is like “oh, I know this song. I like this kind of music over that other stuff” (I had been listening to Lorna Shore the other day; heavier metal, for those unfamiliar), so I’m excited because someone in my family is familiar with Ghost. So I ask her “you wanna hear my favorite song??” and she’s like “sure!”

I happily almost veer off the highway to put “Cirice” on. As it’s a ten minute drive, we hear the whole song. We finish just as I’m turning down the dirt road to my little sister’s. She goes “that was nice, I liked that. What’s it about?” because she likes hearing interpretations on things; she just graduated with her Master’s in music. I tell her there are a lot of different ways I personally interpret the song, depending on the day, my mood, and who/what I’m thinking about. But one of my favorite ways to describe it, though, is that it is essentially (in my opinion) a love song to us from Satan.

Record scratch.

“Love song from WHO?????”

It was at this moment, Banana remembered this particular sister was devoutly Christian, having spent the entirety of her career teaching music in Lutheran schools, and had just moved to Indiana to work as a director of music for a church.

“Oh……… right….. um, they’re a Satanic rock band out of Sweden….”

The sheer level of pearl-clutching. The height of offense.

I couldn’t tell if she was more offended that I was literally playing her “the devil’s music”, or that she had admitted to liking it before knowing more about the band.

Needless to say, she refused to let me pick the music after that.

[that-g3-artist]

Just gonna say that Navi would probably hate the living sh*t out of Fi

Oof, sorry for not getting to this earlier, I've got totk brainrot

I'm actually not sure if I agree with this? Like maybe at first Navi would somewhat blame the sword, but I think that would fade pretty quick because it's really not the sword's fault that Baby Time died--it's Ganondorf's. Remember that in the downfall timeline, navi would have no idea that Time being sealed away until he grows up was even an option-- from her perspective, his death was an unavoidable tragedy.

Even taking the whole 'sealed for seven years' thing into account, I really don't blame Fi for that either. Remember that Time is only Fi's second wielder, ever. (not touching the first hero stuff since I haven't read the SS manga) She has no idea what to do with a child hero! There really was no good choice in this situation--either let Baby Time draw the sword right away (and get killed), or seal him away so he can win (but traumatize him). I really don't blame her for choosing the option where Time survives, even if he hates her for it.

Sorry for the rant, I just have lots of thoughts ^^;

[sweetandsourcookies]

lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.

[year2000electronics]

Bill & Ford & A Book, Oh My!

DISCLAIMER: The Book of Bill has Bill Cipher serving as an unreliable narrator. If we go out trying to say something is "definitively a truth" or "definitively a lie", we're going to keep arguing about it until the heat death of the universe. This is just my own personal interpretation of the source material. If you don't agree, that's fine! Also TBOB spoilers abound.

So it's no secret that interest in the dynamic Bill & Ford have (enemies, platonic, romantic, formerly romantic, whichever way) has really skyrocketed since TBOB's release. Of course, there are the 'easy' culprits to point towards, with Mabel referring to Bill as 'being like a needy ex', and the whole O'Sadley's fiasco (Him literally crying over losing Ford and going "one Sixer, please"? Messy. Messy behavior. Still, I think it goes so much deeper than that.

Bill, being the unpredictable chaos entity that he is, also serves as the main antagonist for a show about family and having close bonds with each other. We don't really need to look into his inner psyche that much, because that's just not what he needed to be doing at that point in the cartoon. He's meant to be a way to divide the Pines, really. And a silly little guy. A silly little obstacle. So, naturally, when it came to Bill's arguably "closest" relationship to someone in the show (Ford), it was very easy to interpret it as Ford being tricked by a completely apathetic Bill, who was just using him as a rung on the ladder. And I do want to stress that Ford and Bill's physical actions remain fairly consistent throughout interpretations, and focusing on the fact that Bill badly hurt Ford is important, so if that's how you still see it, then fine by me! No harm no foul!

But I think the relationship, their story, their tragedy just becomes so much more interesting with the lens The Book of Bill has presented. We’re finally able to see Bill’s perspective as a “protagonist” of sorts in a medium where he’s not just something to defeat- and that’s something we’ve never gotten before, so it’s shedding light on an area we didn’t know about for sure! Again, Bill is lying to the character of "the reader", so we can't trust it as a completely unbiased source. But we can speculate on where the "truth" is between these lies.

First of all, Bill's backstory was that he destroyed his home dimension- we knew that already. But now, with the extra content we have about it, we see something interesting- that Bill's backstory mirrors Ford's to an uncanny degree.

Both of them champion their intelligence, although they highlight how it set them apart from others, as well as highlighting their own 'rare mutation/birth defect'.

Again, with this self-isolation already spurred on from their "weirdness", but also as a little aside, I would also like to highlight that Bill being 'ready to be one', looking up at the stars, striving to 'reach' them, is a shared motif he has with Ford, who is also associated with space, the stars, and reaching them.

Bill's 'trying-really-quick-to-convince-Ford' fantasy sequence even has him in a field of stars as a sort of "ultimate wish fulfilment". Remember, this is Bill showing Ford something he thinks would win Ford over, at least a little.

(And I'll take a quick time out for this train of thought to point out- hey! Bill admits he sought out most of his other victims, but Ford summoned him, and it took him by surprise! That adds a fun little layer of complexity to everything, don't you think? Another little layer of humanity for this whole mess- Bill didn't expertly seek out the 'perfect victim' or anything, it was just... luck. Some twist of fate.)

Anyways.

Obviously, the intro page to the 'Sixer' section has a ton of red flags galore (I mean, poor guy's literally depicted as a hapless puppet. C'mon, Bill. Not to mention the "OH BOY HE'S ALREADY SO ISOLATED, IT'S PERFECT" thing.). This guy is kind of a terrible companion no matter how you slice it. He's terrible to everyone close to him, because he's a deeply traumatized character who refuses to heal. BUT, the wording here is kinda deliciously intriguing to me. All of humanity is Bill's puppets, his future victims, but to me, it's clear that he holds a fondness for Ford. From "This is what a partner looks like", to "Me and Sixer could be the perfect team", to "He had what I always wanted- fingers" (drawn to his strangeness, maybe?), "He was destined for so much more", "I looked at his futures and giggled", and most stand-out to me, "Society calls these people freaks, I call them Henchmaniacs!"

Going back to the pre-Book of Bill era I was talking about, Bill's offers for Ford to join him were always in a sort of murky territory for interpretation. The first offer could definitely be read as mocking, with the line "WITH THAT SIX-FINGERED HAND, YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN WITH MY FREAKS!" in particular making it seem like Bill was only saying that to rub Ford's strangeness in his face, and the second offer to join Bill being under a new circumstance- that now Bill is desperate and believes Ford is the only one who can help him. But the Book of Bill mentions the idea of Ford becoming a Henchmaniac more than once, and also has Bill upset at losing Ford and claiming "he'll be back", as well as Bill seeming to use "freak" more like a badge of honour, and having previously complimented Ford's six fingers (In the Sixer intro page, he highlights Ford's fingers as a quality he likes, and in the pages about bodies, he states that "humans should have more fingers". To me, that first offer reads more now like Bill being genuine about finding Ford a place among his misfits. ...Although, the moment Ford says no, he does zap him into a statue. So. Y'know. He's still got issues.

(Yeah, again, red flag city. "Just hazing"? Bill, none of what you were doing over there was okay! You might have suppressed everything traumatic that happened to you, but that doesn't mean you can go around traumatizing everyone! Good lord.)

Bill has already been imply to like other characters because they remind him of himself. Pointing towards a connection with a character Bill DOESN'T have a weird undefinable ex-partner thing with... Mabel! Alex has says in multiple official media and interviews that Bill sees a lot of himself in Mabel, and essentially, that he thought Mabeland was the perfect prison because if HE liked all that awesome, uncontrolled chaos over any family or friends, why wouldn't SHE? And we see that again in TBOB. So basically, what I'm saying is that we have two characters to back up the fact that Bill seems gravitated towards humans or other living beings that he views as being 'like him'- beings he can relate to! So, y'know, what does that say about Bill and Ford?

There's also Bill's plans for the reader and "Weirdmageddon 2.0", where he portrays the reader as getting to, like, perch on his arm like a little bird and get their own little crown? And specifically calls out Ford for not going through with things?? Okay, Bill??

AND Ford not only being the only human mentioned on the list of people he "definitely doesn't miss so stop asking", but also having his own category? Alright, man.

Of course, another point to the 'Hey, maybe Bill can actually feel emotions towards humans besides complete and total apathy' club is this page here, which has ALSO been hotly debated! Certainly, we know he's telling the truth about his home dimension being destroyed, and we know that he's lying about the 'monster', but some interpret this scene as Bill not being remorseful at all and playing his reaction up to earn Ford's sympathy. And me, personally, I dunno if I agree. I feel like the specific inclusion of Bill "looking distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him" (Mirroring the fact that he keeps blacking out when thinking about all his large-scale massacres) and him "laughing joylessly", I think this sequence is meant to tell us that Bill actually is being vulnerable with Ford here, it's just hidden under layers and layers of deceit, whether towards himself or Ford or both.

And finally for my Book of Bill collection stuff, there's the stuff that could be read as more romantic in nature. In the 'love' section, Bill claims he doesn't love anyone, but, like-

Come on. You can disagree with me that it's Ford, but he does have exes. And he's clearly not over them. Shrimpy little liar. And then there's the fact that a lot of his hokey 'advice' is stuff he ends up directly doing to Ford.

These rats.

The Love Cage.

The Book of Bill really outlined all that in bold, but in my opinion, it was never an entirely new revelation! Bill seems to hold a preference for Ford over other humans in the show. He shows up in Ford's dreams just to say hi, tease him, and gloat (Mabelcorn) unlike the other two dream appearances he's made (Dreamscaperers, Sock Opera) which were exclusively for business purposes. Unlike every other character that gets exclusively one nickname for their zodiac sign, Ford gets multiple (Fordsy, IQ, Sixer, smart guy, brainiac, the list goes on). Bill asks Ford to join him TWICE, whereas anyone else who tries gets their face rearranged, put in a cage and made to dance, frozen in stone, etc etc. And finally, I think, the most emblematic of Bill's weird, specific relationship with Ford, is that whereas everybody else gets turned into stone, Ford got turned into gold.

Which kinda sums up their whole thing up pretty well? Bill gave him special treatment by turning him into a golden statue (similar to yellow ha ha), always holding him close, but, like... Dude. You still kidnapped a man and turned him into a statue and then threatened to kill his niece and nephew. I don't think it will change his opinion on you if he's the Most Pampered Hostage, Actually. I just don't think that we need to explore the relationships between characters as simply "Well, this character hurt the other one, so we shouldn't really think about why or what they feel personally, because what they did was bad, so there".

Bill & Ford interest me because they're a tragedy in motion. We can see that Bill and Ford mirror each other in a multitude of ways, and we can see that they both do have positive feelings towards each other at the time they meet, and we see that Bill very desperately wants Ford to be just like him in the unhealthy ways; the ways that make Bill destroy entire universes and compartmentalize it all, because maybe then, he can finally have the companionship he so deeply aches for. Bill and Ford both had tough, lonely upbringings, but Ford moved on from that "I don't need you" mentality. That's what saved him. Bill didn't, and that's what got him where he was in the end. I feel like that's just so much more interesting than Bill just being a flat entity that makes abuse Happen to Ford, just as another Event in his life. I mean, isn't it just SO much more interesting that Ford humanizes Bill, in a way? That Ford makes him- in Bill's own words- "sentimental"? That a chaotic dream demon has regrets and loves and favourites and connections? It's the same thing with Fiddleford & Ford, although, obviously, to a MUCH lesser extent than Bill & Ford. But you get what I mean, right? You know that Fiddleford and Ford are going to undo each other in the end, and the path to that downfall is... it's telling a story! I like the story of it all! I think that's what I've been invested in and intrigued by all these years- the story, the tragedy of Bill and Ford. No matter what form it takes.

(Plus, as tumblr user fordtato pointed out in their own essay (not tagging because this post is messy enough as is oh god), hey, Ford now has two incredibly queer-coded narratives, with one of them being about how he recovered and was able to heal from an abusive relationship. And, well, I think that's just neat.)

Anyways, that's the end of the post. Thanks for reading this long!

[another-goblin]

Of course, Aventio/Raturine/Ratiorine/Whatewer will never be canon, for several reasons. But I think it's safe to say that there are some deliberate hints towards this ship, for people willing to interpret their relationship this way.

Even some people who don't care about ships agree that they are totally a thing.

And that's what I find interesting, if we choose to see their relationship from this point of view: currently (apart from a couple of official arts showing them together), Ratio seems to show much more signs of having a special interest in Aventurine than vice versa.

From Aventurine's side, it's:

-him being very playful and relaxed during most of 2.1 they spent together (both in actual dialogs and in his inner thoughts, which we can read in the quests' descriptions. He even calls Ratio a friend there);

-inviting Ratio to that show to talk about him.

btw I don't make any assumptions about the ship from this, I'm just curious to see more of the Aventurine's side of it.

And from Ratio's side:

-him apologizing to Aven and checking up on him later, even though he's supposed to pretend that they dislike each other;

-The Note, of course;

-the fact that he came to Penacony for seemingly no other reason than to help Aventurine;

-the whole Keeping Up With Star Rail fiasco;

-my favorite, that animation with tiny Aventurins flying around Ratio's head, imlying that he can't stop thinking about him;

-adding gambling to the upcoming simulated universe update

(I might have forgotten something.)

[larothoughts]

qijiu thoughts: complicated codependence

after reading a few more shen jiu fics i figured maybe the diverging point when it comes to fan-interpretation is understanding how codependent qijiu is. like, it's not just qi-ge who won't let go of shen jiu, shen jiu 100% spitefully, unwillingly yet helplessly refuses to let go of qi-ge either. the obvious author answer to this is for sj to remove himself from qi-ge because of toxic codependence (see my rant on anti-qijiu pro-sj fics), except i don't think it's in-character for him to ever do so??

the man literally died twice because he couldn't let go of qi-ge until the very, very end. he'll never give up on him as easily as he does in fic, this man is a canonical stubborn asshole who can't let go of anything. that's his entire problem lol

(first time was obviously after lbh gave him xuan su's shards. sj, who had spent the entire time being tortured refusing to bend, cracks at the realization that qi-ge came this time and died. i forgot if him eating xuan su's shards is canon in the qijiu extras or if it's a fanon theory, but i 100% find this in-character of sj to do as a final f*** you to the universe.)

(second time was the qi deviation that caused shen yuan to take over his life. i'll go over this later, but i believe sqh, who transmigrated decades before, likely tried to nudge qijiu into reconciling and instead made it worse. so while in the og!pidw universe, sj never deviated hard enough to die; in this svsss universe, sqh trying to get sj to face his own heart demons literally caused him to die. oops. system got pretty mad because lbh MUST go into the abyss, and so had to scramble to find a sj replacement lol)

preface

much of this is my own interpretation of things btw. i haven't read the qijiu extras in a while so it's very possible some of these things don't follow canon. especially the whole cognitive dissonance part. i've always leaned towards the 'shen jiu is an unreliable, in-denial narrator of his own story, he can't admit anything to himself until he's literally at death's door' interpretation of sj's tsundereness, so that's 100% my own bias peeking through here.

how qing ding peak made everything worse

this a fanon theory i like that has merit given how long qijiu had problems: things would've been so much different if yue qi wasn't chosen by qing ding. like, literally any other peak, qijiu would've had 75% chance of having a happy ending. i feel like any peak with a halfway decent lord with basic empathy skills would have thought 'hmm yes, if we rescue the friend of this little prodigy we can ensure his loyalty to us for life' instead of 'let's dangle the chance of rescuing his friend as a way to get this kid to work as hard as he can until it's too late, then allow the failure to break him down completely so we can reshape him into the perfect successor.' though to be honest the former sect leader probably didn't expect yue qi to literally be broken down.

my thought is that the sect leader kept putting off the rescue over and over, hoping to drag things out until the inevitable happened. but yue qi, naturally wary of adults, panicked once he realized what his shizun was doing. he tried to pull xuan su without permission to force the leader into acknowledging his strength and letting him go... which then led to the entire soul-binding fiasco we see in canon. sure, the former sect leader could've lost his newest experiment, but throwing him into the caves had the bonus of making him late anyway. so a success all around everyone!

we can further theorize the character of the previous sect leader (and how his grooming of yue qi possibly led to his guilt complex and inability to communicate his honest feelings) but ultimately it was qing ding peak's teachings itself that led to yqy's inability to reconcile with sj. because qing ding is the diplomat's peak. the politics peak. the peak where people often cannot say exactly what they mean, must never overtly show favor to anyone, must control every single thing they do or say else the political fallout ruins their sect's reputation.

so it really didn't help that their reunion happened in the middle of sj committing pretty bad crimes like murdering and looting disciples. yue qi went immediately into political clean-up mode, sj misunderstood yue qi's silence as 'i will never tell you' instead of 'not now sj we need to bury these bodies in the bushes', and then later sj was so scornful yue qi's guilt-complex kicked in and he figured 'sj will never forgive me, obviously he doesn't want to hear excuses.' and as yue qi's political position grew, the less he could overtly support and protect shen jiu. the more careful he was of his words and actions, so far removed from the qi-ge sj once knew that sj can't help but lash out. by the time yqy was mentally well enough to talk about the lingxi cave fiasco (if ever), sj had already built up a protective wall of 'this qi-ge is an imposter, the real qi-ge would not have left me.' and yqy didn't know how to tell him the truth without sj's psyche collapsing in on itself. so... he just continued not to tell him.

in which qi-ge is alive but also dead, as declared by shen jiu

sj barely recognized qi-ge once they reunited. yue qi has always been the peacemaker amongst the rowdy slaves, sure, but he'd always been on sj's side. he told sj everything, things he never told the other slaves, and only really clammed up when they were facing beatings by adults in a true us-versus-them scenario. now, however, he's clamming up with shen jiu. he hates it, this intrinsically qi-ge thing that this fake qi-ge doesn't realize he's doing. more than the shiny clothes and well-fed appearance, this is what makes the chasm between them feel real. qi-ge never came back for him, because qi-ge was dead. cang qiong killed qi-ge and all that's left is this qi-ge puppet going through motions of caring for sj it obviously doesn't understand.

(this is easier for him to accept, because if yue qi wasn't mentally dead than he really did willingly abandon shen jiu in the dirt, and accepting that would make shen jiu lose his mind.)

now what to do when qi-ge is dead and he doesn't need sj to protect him anymore? logically, sj should've stayed long enough to fix his cultivation, save up funds, and then leave to become a rogue cultivator before his past had the chance to catch up to him. but sj is not logical. he's spiteful and angry and contrary. he claws his way up the disciple hierarchy on qing jing and spits in the face of yue qi's awkward overtures. he hates the other qing jing disciples, his own shizun, lqg and a bunch of the other head disciples; in fact, he hates cang qiong as a whole because they were the ones that took qi-ge away from him. but at the end of the day, a dead qi-ge puppet is still kind of qi-ge and even if qi-ge threw sj away that didn't mean the reverse was true. sj will not give even a dead puppet qi-ge up; he belongs to him whether he likes it or not (/spitefully).

so as it becomes clearer and clearer that yue qi will indeed become the next sect leader, sj begrudgingly finds himself stuck in cang qiong. one would think things would get better after the former peak lords ascend, since that meant the evil brainwashing sect leader and the resentful qiu-naming qing jing peak lord would've finally fucked off. but no, things actually get worse.

because now that the former sect leader isn't actively sabotaging qijiu's relationship (sure, he didn't mean to break yue qi's mind that bad, but even the worst broken eggs can be turned into a decent obedient successor, except shen jiu's continued existence is threatening to undo all his hard work) yue qi is more able to try and make overt amends. the problem is, by acting more like the real qi-ge, he's threatening sj's mental defense of 'qi-ge is dead, this qi-ge is a fake.'

when cognitive dissonance gives you qi deviations

the more qi-ge acts like he's honestly sorry, the more shen jiu must accept that qi-ge isn't dead. that he either chose to leave sj behind (devastating given sj's abandonment issues) or was forced to leave sj behind and refused to tell him why (more abandonment issues; does he not trust sj anymore??) worse for peak morale, the more overtly sj rejects yqy, the more annoyed the other peak lords get. doesn't sj know how bad it looks for their sect, to have their top two lords fighting like this?? why is yqy not shutting it down, isn't he a politician?

well yes, but as sect leader he now has the freedom to pick and choose when to put his politicking hat on. lqg follows sqq to a brothel and causes a ruckus in the middle of the street? scold sqq for being so overt, because they both know the best way into the brothel is through the back via code word! they learned how to sneak into brothels as street kids ages ago and sqq could have totally done so discreetly! argue with lqg but refuse to explain himself? sqq please, he can't take your side for no reason, especially in front of all these peak lords who already knows he favors you!!

and because shen jiu is facing the cognitive dissonance of qi-ge's... qi-ge-ness, he sets up tests rigged to fail no matter how yqy responds. this way he is always right! if yqy sides with sj, sj's annoyed because he's clearly trying to placate him like a child. if yqy sides against sj, he's obviously choosing to abandon sj again!!

yqy is fully aware of the trap because yqy is a trained politician capable of reading social cues (and sj hasn't changed all that much from when they were kids, he still has that same spiteful edge to him yqy is so fond of). he intentionally falls for them because (1) he deserves to be hated by sj and (2) being hated by sj keeps him from lashing out too much at the other peak lords. yqy is very used to sj's temper tantrums, it's when he lashes out at other people that things become unmanageable.

(during the latter half of their rule over cang qiong, i feel that yqy learned to stop actively chasing reconciliation. he came around for tea and present-giving, kept things civil, and still let sj get away with all kinds of terrible things. he fell for all of sj's traps with his eyes wide open and it infuriates sj, everything about this drives him mad. he doesn't want this soft, unspoken affection, because this was how qi-ge used to handle sj's tsundereness back when they were on the streets. it's another sign that qi-ge is still qi-ge, and this fact brings sj both selfish comfort and undeniable agony.)

it's an awkward balancing act that continues to sour sj's reputation with the other peak lords, but it's mostly manageable until sqh sticks his nose into their business and pushes sj over the edge.

how transmigrators ruin everything

"maybe yqy did something impulsive, did you think of that? why can't you forgive him, he tried so hard? aren't you tired of being angry all the time?" bitch no, sj has been keeping the worst of the qi deviations away for years by performing mental gymnastics around his walls of denial stOP KNOCKING THEM DOWN. Even worse, lbh arrives on the peak and shen jiu hates him. not just because he's got all the potential shen jiu had stolen away from him, but he's so glad to be here. he's making his mother proud. all while shen jiu was dragged here essentially against his will, trapped himself in this bamboo prison out of spite, and then realized the dead thing he's been looking after for decades isn't dead after all. that qi-ge actually did, for realsies, leave him at the qius. that all these overtures, the silent acceptance of his faults, everything could just be out of guilt (qi-ge is ashamed of him) and not out of a ghost reenacting its former lingering affection (the real qi-ge would've still loved him.)

the dissonance, abandonment issues, frustration and everything culminates in a devastating qi deviation. ironically, now that yqy's rule is mostly secure and sj's reputation has soured enough to start negatively affecting the sect, sj finally feels safe enough to let go. in this moment of emotional clarity, sj finally releases qi-ge from his grasp and decides to die.

that was not supposed to happen.

qi-ge's no good, very bad sacrifice

in another universe where og!sqh was too busy plotting to betray cang qiong mountain, the frosty and emotionally charged stand-off between yqy and sj continues for years. then, lqg dies. i'm torn between yqy believing sj killed lqg or not. either way, i don't think he'd be 'disappointed' in sj as portrayed in some fics. i also don't think it would infuriate sj that yqy thinks he's capable of killing lqg, because if anyone knows how much of a murder kitten shen jiu is, it's yqy. maybe he's offended yqy thinks him dumb enough to kill him in such a sloppy way. maybe he's even more offended that this turns the other peak lords against him and yqy just lets it happen.

or maybe (through my qijiu-tinted glasses) it pisses him off that yqy does tell the peak lords that they should all stand together, and the other peak lords ignore him and hate sj anyway. they're disrespecting yqy because they think he is compromised, and sj worked too goddamn hard to solidify yqy's position to have it undone by a murder he didn't even do.

(ironically, if lqg was alive he'd tell the other peak lords to f*** off for disobeying yqy. lqg's canon respect for yqy is something i feel needs more acknowledgement, likely because i feel half the reason they don't get along is because of sj's utter disrespect of their sect leader. who cares if sj is a street rat or the son of a wealthy family, no one disrespects yue-shixiong!)

now the story of sj's road to becoming lbh's plaything is a well-worn track that everyone knows. i do subscribe to the idea that sj took one look at huan hua's eagerness, lbh's vendetta, and yqy's recklessness and made the same decision he did in the svsss verse: he'd rather qi-ge be free (happy) than dead. this is a battle he cannot win, and he'll be damned if he lets lbh drag cang qiong down with him. when yqy promises him he'll save him from the water prison, sj spits in his face and tells him for the final time that xiao jiu and qi-ge are both dead. he let sj go decades ago, and now sj is letting qi-ge go in return.

sj faces the torture with the tenacious spirit of someone who'd withstood worse torture for years. in fact, he's a bit impressed by lbh taking revenge on him the same way sj took revenge on qiu jianluo. either way, even with more than 50% of his body missing, sj faces his fate in utter defiance. and then lbh shows up with xuan su.

the reveal of qi-ge's failed rescue and demise was devastating for a lot of reasons. most obviously, sj's sacrifice to keep cang qiong safe from the fallout was a failure. everything he'd done and sacrificed to keep qi-ge safe, all the scorn he'd borne as the hated qing jing peak lord was thrown away because qi-ge wanted to be a moron.

the other reason why sj broke was because qi-ge did come for him. he simply failed. and the tiny part of him that always suspected qi-ge was still qi-ge now has confirmation that all those years ago, qi-ge likely did the same. he came for him at the qius, but he failed. the only difference now is lbh's willingness to tell him the truth vs. yqy's decades-long silence. the only difference now is that yqy is actually, physically dead.

sj has been living on borrowed time ever since he looked the new yqy (fake qi-ge) in the eyes and allowed himself to be brought to cang qiong mountain. everything he did was to elevate himself into a position where no one could hurt him (and qi-ge) anymore, the same way he'd acted back when they were on the streets. now that he was in this state and qi-ge was dead, his time was clearly up. and sj refuses to let lbh have the last laugh. as much as he respected lbh for his ruthlessness, it's not enough to stave off sj's spite. he didn't let qjl control him in the end, and he won't let lbh do so either.

final thoughts

some last, disorganized thoughts on qijiu's relationship

rather than yqy telling sj what happened, i think showing him the scars all over his body would be much more impactful. sj knows how worthless words can be; he's likely prefer being able to touch each scar and check the meridians for himself. yqy doesn't need to say a word, his entire body is a testament to the torture he'd endured.

ironically, sj fixing up cang qiong as a tactician and his personal refusal to put himself in weak situations made yqy incapable of showing his care through action. all of his crises were political/reputation-based/etc. all things qing ding's teachings guaranteed yqy to fail all his speech-checks. and yqy is definitely not the type of person to engineer a false crisis just to swoop in to save sj... not because of any moral reasons, but because risking sj in any way would be absolutely unacceptable. in yqy's world, it's sj > the sect > good morals. he does have good morals, yes, but he's also pragmatic and self-aware enough to know when to put the things he cares about first.

there was a theory i read before about yqy and sj's trauma responses being to shut down and say nothing in the face of accusations, and i agree with this. saying nothing often netted less punishment than 'making excuses.' even without this coping mechanism, the mental trauma of having his mind and body broken could've easily stopped yqy from being able to even speak around the topic for years. if he doesn't talk about it and no one sees his scars, he can pretend it never happened. sj's scorn of him is forever a sign that it did happen, but that's fine, he's always made exceptions for shen jiu.

i don't really know where the uncomfortably-creepy-no-boundaries yqy towards sy came from? in the original novel sy clearly like yqy and views him in a positive, big-brother-shape light. even towards the end of the novel when yqy confesses, sy feels more guilty for being an imposter than angry that yqy failed sj. yqy even steps aside for lbh thinking 'well, at least sqq is happy now' because that's what he wanted for sj for so, so long. for him to be happy, even if that meant forgetting qi-ge.

(the no-boundaries thing is something i disagree with in general, because i think yqy's political and social training would make that very unlikely. he doesn't call sqq xiao-jiu as often as he does in fics, i think he did so in canon because he was delirious and exhausted post-drawing-xuan-su. i figured qijiu's latter years cooled off a bit as yqy realized direct overtures weren't working and went the coaxing-stray-cat route to everyone else's befuddlement.)

does qi-ge know sy is not sj? i can go either way with this. the theory that he does know but he's repressing it out of his own mental wellbeing is intriguing; but so is him assuming sj losing his memories means sy is a different person. which means he's always been happier without qi-ge. either way, i do believe yqy no longer views sqq-y the same as sqq-j. after the first few years post-qi-deviation, i think yqy is emotionally mature enough to realize sy is here to stay and that the sj he once knew (either because of his lost memories or whole-soul transplantation) is gone.

i am a qijiu shipper, but i do also like platonic qijiu. my only prerequisite for any other-ship-jiu fic is some kind of qijiu reconciliation. i honestly don't think either of them would have good romantic relationships unless they fix their own relationship first. qi-ge can't marry someone, that would remove sj from being the most important person on qi-ge's list. despite scorning him, sj being number one is one of the only things holding sj together throughout their divorce era. sj cannot marry anyone because that would give qi-ge the false impression that sj is happy and qi-ge is now free. and qi-ge is not allowed to be free. he will belong to sj for as long as sj wants and nothing is allowed to interfere with that impression. lol both of these are sj-based, but sj's always been the dominant party in this relationship. whether or not qi-ge is jealous of sj's new lover is irrelevant; as long as sj is happy, the og!sj-simp qi-ge is also happy.

i have too many qijiu thoughts and not enough time to write a fic about them, alas. i find their relationship fascinating and very integral to their personalities no matter the au or ship.

[cardboardheartss]

Min Hee Jin vs HYBE Situation Continued…

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

What more about HYBE will be exposed? : 2oS rx, 6oW rx, The Chariot rx, 4oP rx, The Star, 9oP, AoP, Judgement rx, WoF

Well… they are going to continue to fall from grace as more information about them gets exposed. They really can’t control it anymore because us netizens don’t really care a damn for this company and will gladly wait for their downfall. They will get exposed for obviously doing payola/sajaegi for all of their groups. People all over social media will start to wonder if all these groups under hybe (excl. nwjns) deserve the success because it will be exposed that it’s all possibly paid for and gained from connections too (9oP).

Outcome of situation : 10oW, 8oC rx, 3oW, 8oS, PoS rx, PoC rx, Justice, QoP rx, 7oS

Downfall of HYBE loading… they will continue to get exposed and I’m telling you they are going to 1000% regret starting this fiasco. There will be more bad news coming out about this whole establishment and they will try deceive the public again but it will not work because I can see a women I believe, possibly a snake from the building or someone from the outside exposing hybe.

ngl… I’m looking forward to this!✊🏽

What could MHJ expose about HYBE/K-Industry : The Hermit, The High Priestess. The Empress, 6oS rx, 9oS rx, QoP, AoS, QoS rx, 3oS rx, 2oC, KNoS

Unfortunately, MHJ is going through soo much right now. It is taking a toll on her mentally and physically. She’s tired, but she doesn’t want to stop fighting for NEWJEANS, she knows how evil these men are and how much they want to take credit for her work. She feels betrayed, she truly does feel betrayed and this will definitely make her an even more brutal and bitter person but mainly toward men in general and the higher ups in the industry.

She does not have any ideas as to what she could to expose… she’s just numb and tired.

channeled songs :

I was supposed to not post until I finish writing but I had to get this out my chest… I’m praying for nwjns mainly Dani and Hyein. They truly deserve so much more.🥺💘

[accio-victuuri]

Sugar Rush : November CPNs

What started out as a relatively quiet month after a chaotic October, turned into something else because of a few candies. Especially the whole 11/19 fiasco that surprised us all. LOL. As usual, this is for cpn-loving turtles only. Keep an open mind but still clown responsibly. I can’t believe we only have one month left for this year!

If you wanna recap other years I have archived : 2021 ( one | two ) 2022 ( one | two ) 2023 ( one, july, august, september, october ) 2020 candies and some other sweets before I was doing round up posts may be found on my masterlist.

Let’s review the past month…

• Some side by side / parallel photos of GG ( Tod’s Milan ) and WYB ( Chanel Shenzhen ). They are both photographed with the very beautiful Liu ShiShi. Also the way they are the center of attention. KINGS! 👑

• hoping they play tennis together 🎾 ; there is also a cpn out there about yibo being fully prepared for the game cause he had lacoste shoes and bag then a jacket that he used in wuzhen. people are speculating that XZ bought stuff for him to use cause he is the one who knows more and thought of this brand. this may seem like a stretch but you never know with this fandom when a seemingly insignificant observation becomes a big candy along the way.

• 2021 vs 2023 beach photos similarities + xiamen coincidence and it’s connection to ZZ’s ideal life painting

• LHK ( Liu Haikuan ) giving clues about BJYX? + Part 2 of comments

11/7, GG was announced as Boucheron’s global brand ambassador, then people remembered that one time WYB wore stuff from the brand. So now we have an unintentional couple jewelry incidence😂😂

• the sound of an eagle 🦅

• some similarities in forwarding 119 message, yeah i know celebrities like them are sort of required to bring attention to stuff like this. however, WYB is known to support this cause and even made a VCR specifically for it. if you look at the actual post, theirs is the top 2 in terms of likes and the rest of the celebrities are not the usual ones similar to the boys’ caliber. Another clue that this is WYB’s advocacy of sorts, most, if not all top comments are from his fans. so ZZ joining in on spreading the message seems ( to me and some cpfs ) like influenced by WYB.

Next is they both filmed VCRs for "People in My Heart" - "Classic Characters" series. We just love seeing them support the same projects ^^

• NARS live drawing

• Candies from WYB’s 11/12 douyin post. Mainly the parallel about the same walls and floor.

• XZ fell asleep on WYB during the golden core scene

• Interpreting YBO’s 11/16 weibo caption

• 11/19/23 double update candies

• similar necklace??? ( cough in vain )

• the full story ( so far ) behind 11/19 📝

• Talking about this a bit late considering when the whole CPN started about this GG mural for GG. There are side by side comparisons of the eyes on the mural and Yibo’s. The CPN being they used WYB’s eyes for that mural.

I usually let people have free reign on clowning but this one isn’t for me personally. just because it’s obviously a mural commissioned by GUCCI which a big brand that couldn’t care less about the CP. Maybe it’s a coincidence how similar it is? Because there is a reference photo that should be followed. Also, this is GG’s time to shine. This mural is his & him. I think this is an example for cpfs to learn to separate the boys as individuals, especially for things that are work related and most especially their achievements. While I do believe they influence each other greatly, it’s important to not make every single thing a romantic relation.

• the mystery driver is seen again 👀

• 11/22 Yibo scenery post 🍬

• One night in Beijing Song + 11/23 XZS post

• I don’t really wanna clown with Redmi but the black and white theme from XZS and then the next day it’s Redmi. I was surprised with this cause all the promos were supposed to be related to the scifi themed ad blockbuster!

A coincidence 👀👀👀👀

• small candies form IQIYI scream night 😱

• wyb acknowledging light signs and calls us wangba

• XZ’s 11/27 Airport and Selfie Clues

• there is some talk with BXGs regarding WYB’s redmi appearance, it looks like he was bitten by the mosquito again. lol. I usually just find cpn like this funny cause there is always deniability. also hello to the mosquito who loves to bite the center of his neck.

I’m separating these next entries cause it’s not new. I just found myself revisiting bts content and clowning about it. old candy still tastes good! 💯

WYB signs 520 to GG

WYB’s small steps to GG but robe gets caught

Something is funny and XZ has to tell WYB

Flirting and Fighting? “WYB’s love you”

XZ got hurt and WYB said he is gonna kiss it better?

-END.

[greenthena]

The Eldritch Ball or Aziraphale's Macabre Danse

I'm a huge sucker for dark classical music (I'm using the term "classical" broadly, not referring to the specific period. Music-y folks, please forgive.) As such, Saint-Saëns's "Danse Macabre" is one of my all time favorite pieces. It's spooky. It's intentionally dissonant. It's even got a jump scare! Like, literally, the perfect piece of music.

The story behind "Danse Macabre" goes like this: Each Halloween at midnight, Death enters the graveyard with a fiddle. As he plays, the skeletons rise from the ground and dance through the cemetery, resurrected by Death's power and possessed by his instrument.

In S2 E3, the Bentley plays "Danse Macabre" as Aziraphale drives up to Edinburgh. "What do we do? We play classical music that stays classical music." (And the Bentley listens to him! Because the Bentley is an expression of Crowley's subconscious and wants to please him and make him happy...and I'm sure you can find lots of excellent metas to that end. Or maybe you have another theory about why the Bentley is so pliant toward the angel? I'd love to hear it. But that's not what I'm talking about right now. I'm just getting distracted.)

Why is this song so perfect for a bit of subtle foreshadowing and repeated metaphor? So glad you asked. I have reasons. And evidence. Please, peruse my wares.

In the A Plot of this episode, Aziraphale travels to Scotland to visit a pub called The Resurrectionist. (Ya know, like Death? Like how Death resurrects people in the song? Okay, just wanted to really hit that nail into the coffin.) The pub is, of course, named for a certain Mr. (not Dr., he's a surgeon) Dalrymple, whom Crowley and Aziraphale meet in the accompanying flashback minisode entitled (you'll never guess) "The Resurrectionist." The minisode plot involves Crowley and his the angel encountering young Elspeth, a grave robber who, like Death, releases the bodies of the deceased from their earthly bonds of soil and stone. My interpretation is that Elspeth becomes Death incarnate, first in the process of using her instrument (her shovel) to resurrect the dead, and later when she inadvertently brings about the literal death of her partner, Wee Morag. Rather than allow Wee Morag's body to turn to dust in the ground, Elspeth "resurrects" her, selling her body to Dr. Dalrymple (sorry, Mr. Dalrymple, he's a surgeon, not a doctor), who will use Wee Morag's body for research, which will in turn save the lives of countless others by furthering the field of medicine. A form of resurrection, indeed. There's also the plot thread of Crowley and Aziraphale providing Elspeth with a nest egg to escape the cycle of poverty into which she has been born. This, too, is another form of re-birth. Or, say it with me, resurrection. Alright, you're getting it now.

Okay, now I get to delve into the fun stuff. Let's talk about that cotillion ball, shall we? You know, that danse party where Aziraphale persuades all the shopkeepers on Whickber street to attend a Jane Austen-style ball?

I personally refer to this whole fiasco experience as the Eldritch Ball. On the surface, it seems fairly innocent. The shopkeepers need a little bit of encouragement to attend the Whickber Street monthly meeting, but the angel manages to convince everyone to join with the help of some coercion-via-bribery. When they show up, they're transmuted into Austen-esque characters, from their clothes, to their speech patterns, even to some extent, their perception of reality. This is where it starts to get a little uncomfortable if you peel back the layers. Mrs. Sandwich can't talk about what she does for a living, which is a great comedy bit, but also demonstrates that her speech is being significantly censored and altered by an outside force. With the exception of Mr. Brown (hidden agendas here, Neil? I honestly don't know), all the shopkeepers find themselves in new, slightly-period-appropriate garments. What's really weird, though, is that no one notices the changes. When the dancing begins, to the music of Mr. Anderson's piano and an accompanying string quartet (strings...as in violins...as in fiddles. Remember Death's fiddle?), Nina appears to be the only one who realizes that something is off.

Maggie: This is something new.

Nina: This is something completely bonkers. Are we...? Why is everyone talking like they've escaped from Pride and Prejudice?

Maggie: Just getting into the spirit of things, I suppose.

Nina: The spirit of what things? This is meant to be the shopkeeper association monthly meeting.

Maggie: Hmm. Yes. Now that you put it like that...

Nina: Are we dancing?

Maggie: Yes.

Nina: Did you ever learn the steps to this dance?

Maggie: It's just what we do, isn't it?

Nina: No. No, it isn't. This is something mad. This is their [Crowley & Azirapahle's] fault. They're doing this.

Something is definitely mad. One might even say it's macabre. Aziraphale has become Death the Resurrectionist. He has lured the shopkeepers of Whickber Street through a portal (as Death leads his flock from the world of the dead to the world of the living.) Aziraphale's instrument is his clipboard and pen, held almost as one might hold a fiddle and bow, as he invites the various shopkeepers to the monthly meeting. Once they all arrive, he miraculously gives them new clothes (as Death knits together the bones of the dead), and then proceeds to control their bodies and minds, as though they are merely marionettes. They dance and speak in the way Aziraphale imagines, fulfilling his fantasy of a perfect Jane Austen-style ball (quite literally, the Danse Macabre.)

The shopkeepers have become the dead and Aziraphale controls them until the spell is broken--or rather until the window is broken.

To be honest, I don't think Aziraphale is really aware of how much he is able to transfigure his environment, including the humans who happen to be close by. Or, at least, I don't believe he does any of this with ill intent. He's just a bit blind to anything outside his fixation of wooing Crowley, at the moment. As a result, he creates a situation that is profoundly problematic and unnatural. Just like the dead in the graveyard have no agency when Death plays his fiddle, the Whickber Street shopkeepers are possessed by Aziraphale's intricate romantic fantasy and must dance as long as the music plays.

It is, in fact, only when the music stops, that the shopkeepers begin to realize that something is most certainly weird. The diagetic music (Mr. Anderson & Co.) abruptly cuts off when an approaching demon horde tosses a brick through the bookshop window. Now the spell, or in this case, miracle, begins to break down. While the shopkeepers still appear to be somewhat under the influence of Aziraphale's persuasive aura, a few of them glance down at their clothes in confusion and look around the bookshop, as though waking from a dream. And at this point, after a little finagling, Crowley escorts the humans out of the bookshop and out of Aziraphale's Danse Macabre.

Once the demons attack the bookshop Aziraphale's influence on his surroundings really starts to deteriorate. Throughout the season, he's been able to structure and manipulate reality (sometimes with Crowley's help) to suit his needs: protecting Gabriel, altering the Bentley, organizing the Ball, etc. But once the bookshop, his safe space, has been breached, he loses control of the situation. From this point in the narrative, nothing goes according to Aziraphale's plan. Aziraphale wants to protect Jimbriel, but the former archangel insists on giving himself over to the demons. Crowley leaves and Aziraphale has to defend the bookshop on his own, when he'd expected Crowley to come right back and save him. While defending the bookshop, Aziraphale reaches his "last" resort not once, but twice: first allowing Nina and Maggie to use his books (!!!) as weapons and then blowing up his halo in a last ditch effort to fend off the invaders. This was not on the agenda for today!

Things just continue to go downhill from there, Aziraphale losing all control of the situation. And by the time the Final Fifteen wraps up, the angel has lost his bookshop and possibly his most important relationship. By the end of the season, Aziraphale is no longer Death the Resurrectionist, the manipulator and puppeteer. Now the angel has become the puppet, dancing to Heaven's music.

[sorrelpaws]

what are your personal favorite hcs for morty? (coming from another guy who is prime morty irl) and this could be any morty ^___^ or even hcs for how c137 and pmorty interact and just stuff about them/their dynamic since i really really enjoy how you depict them i feel like you’re one of the few that really Get the way they act around each other yknow. if that makes sense. you are just very epic like that /gen

ANOONNN this is such a cute ask SRYY its taken me a gazillion years to answer this its cuz a lot of my hcs/ the way i interpret rick and mortys dynamic is like. its hard to explain i sort of just get visions of dialogue and scenarios in my mind. BUTTT!!! ive managed to clean up the sludge a little . a huge hc i have for pmorty is that he has a lot of tiny miscellaneous scars because as he gets older he sort of wants to feign independence a little and act like he doesnt want/need rick's help. could also be a form of reclamation, "here's me exhibiting bodily autonomy" and all that. i love drawing him with a little eyebrow scar, its one of the more prominent ones i think um. For Reasons I Will Not Disclose but that i imagine are incredibly apparent either way. But an "canon" explanation for it is that he gets it sometime during the entire rickshank rickdemption fiasco, specifically pre-showdown. since this episode reallyyyyy tests mortys loyalty to rick, i think it'd be kind of fun to have his faith in him be punished with something so tiny but so permanent.

i've mentioned this before but i really think the best parallel to draw for rick and mortys day to day dynamic is high school guys who say they're best friends but dont even know each others favorite colors. like they just spend a lot of time hanging out and doing things together, but emotionally there's very little conscious substance, if that makes sense ???!! in the sense that they dont turn to each other if they need actual comfort, they just sort of bottle it up and cry about it behind the corner.

their whole dynamic is jumpstarted by rick needing someone by his side. he's just an old man who's desperate for company, and so he intentionally isolates morty from his peer, which in turn makes morty very reliant on rick, but rick really doesn't want to or know how to meet the emotional quota he deprives morty of. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. rick wants a loyal dog but doesn't want to put in the effort to earn its trust and respect. this kiindd of changes in newer seasons, with rick being less reliant on morty and instead opting for therapy and Friends in the same mental and physical age group as him, but it seemingly pretends rick's actions in earlier seasons have no consequences, and that morty is in no way affected by being robbed of a social life, which is ugh. whatever. i guess.

they're forever super clingy though. they're each others favorite person, even if they maybe kind of hate each other. rick is very emotionally stunted due to years of unprocessed trauma, and morty is hopelessly devoted to someone who gives him a semblance of positive attention.

[tehrevving]

What has been Vincent's thoughts on reader? Especially the latest date fiasco and his moody reveal turning into probably the best bj of his life

Holy crap this answer got so long and drops so much unrevealed lore lmao. Enjoy!

My general characterisation of Vincent with regards to sex is that he is very interested in giving, but not so much receiving. Most of his sexual experience was with women at 'Turk Academy', who gravitated towards him because he was great at eating out and didn't expect too much in return. Vincent is demi and bi in my fic, but has a preference for women (because they make more mess lmao), not sure if that's relevant but *shrug*.

Due to him being demi, most of his experience being casual and how Lucrecia used him (which I've hinted at a little bit). He doesn't see fingering/eating out/etc as things that are overly emotional or complicated. Especially in the 'modern' day, as he can just keep his clothes on during all of it.

Reader made a deliberate effort in the beginning to understand him and get closer to him, just as a friend of course, but I don't think it's too surprising that he 'latched on' to the first person to take an interest in actually getting to know him in a long time. I do wish I'd added an extra chapter near the beginning to make this a bit more clear lol, but oh well.

After Hojo's experiments on him, he doesn't think anyone could ever want him. He actually is that person covering the bathroom mirrors and showering in the dark lol. He interprets Reader initially showing sexual interest in him, not as her actually wanting him, but as her wanting him to pleasure her, which he has no problem with doing.

She tries to address this in chapter 9 (the one after the stargazing but before the eating out), and explicitly tells him that she wants more, but he's so in denial that while he says he'll try and be better, in his mind he doesn't believe her, and to cope with it reverts to trying to ignore all of it with sex. Which was basically his relationship with Lucrecia lol, everything is too complicated so we'll just fuck and ignore all of it.

Vincent caught feelings after the fight where he transforms and the conversation afterwards. He didn't realise that's what was happening at the time, and has been in extreme denial about it. A lot of his back and forth behaviour has been him trying to reconcile his feelings with his own self-doubt and just general trauma and issues, and that he generally didn't see sex as a big deal, until suddenly it is.

All of this then builds up to the point where he just can't handle it anymore. He hasn't tried getting off after all of the experimentation, and finds that he can't on his own. I might write this as an extra chapter one day, but I feel like he can't push himself over that metaphorical edge because of his self-loathing, hatred and fear of losing control over his own body.

When he asks her for help getting off that first time, he's actually asking for a lot of unspoken things. The fact that she doesn't shy away from him, is very enthusiastic, and works within his boundaries, is a huge deal. That interaction gives Vincent hope that all of this might work.

Which brings us to the Gold Saucer date. I love this chapter. It might not be super obvious, but almost every single interaction that the two of them have with the attractions and the other group members has narrative significance. (send me another ask and I'll do a whole analysis on that lol)

Vincent decides that he is going to use this time at the Gold Saucer as a test, to see if he thinks that he can make this work. Vincent has a lot of hangups about his body and that he's not normal. He has quite an old fashioned mentality about courting someone, dating etc (but not fucking lmao). And is very aware that he can't take her out to share a meal/drinks, or do a lot of general date things. He considers this to be a huge deal.

He starts off in a good mood but grows continually frustrated throughout the night as he is reminded of all of his perceived shortcomings, and the fact that none of them seem to bother her.

By the time the G-bike VR is finished, that frustration reaches its peak and Vincent is sort of minutes away from losing control and transforming. She tries to comfort him, but he realises that nothing she says to him will work. Like, she says it's not a big deal that he can't play VR, when that's not the problem, the problem is that he is so inhuman that even a computer is rejecting him. He tries to remove himself from the situation as fast as he can and storms off. At the beginning of the date, he had some hope that he wouldn't have to reject her, but at this point he is completely convinced that he is going to, even if he has to be forceful about it.

He just stews in his own anger and self-loathing, not noticing anything around him or how his emotions are actually physically affecting her. When she calls him out on it and he actually looks at her and sees that she is basically shaking and paralysed with fear (I think I played this down in the actual chapter, but in my first draft this shit was intense), he realises that he needs to control himself. The fact that she followed him and is still trying to help him even though he is making her feel like that dissipates a lot of his anger and just leaves him with the frustration.

He doesn't want to reveal too much about the experimentations that were done to him, and honestly I think he doesn't quite understand the implications of a lot of it either. So he tries to explain while glossing over a lot of it, which means he ends up talking about more of his general human sexual trauma instead lol.

He figured that she might not shy away from the monster arm. He had hoped that showing her that would just explain everything, but of course it doesn't. I think that Vincent's self-loathing means that he's not that good at predicting how other people will react. When he thinks through conversations in his head, he assumes everyone has a terrible opinion of him to start with. So, she catches him off guard when she talks about how she already knows he's a 'monster' and doesn't care.

He continually keeps throwing out these bullshit reasons, that ignore her feelings on the matter and she's sick of it. She realises that she needs to hold him the fuck down, make him shut up and realise that she doesn't care about his dumb excuses. But at the same time, she's also smart enough to realise that it'll just make it worse if she forces him. It's important that it's him that takes his clothes off, exposes himself, pulls her into position etc. I really like that scene and the buildup because it's clear that they're both trying to show and enforce consent while being angry and not talking about it.

As for the actual blowjob. Look, she sucked his soul out through his dick and he is now 100% ride-or-die committed. He has never had anyone treat his body with any actual care. Obviously the experiments were bad, but even before that, having had mostly one night stands and then of course Lucrecia. He hasn't ever had someone care for him like that before. The fact that Reader is showing that care for the first time on his ruined, experimented-on body, destroys him. The way that she checks in on him, reassures him, and has taken note of his own cues (The 'I'm here', is so fucking important), convinces him. All of those things are the actual, polar opposite to how Lucrecia treated him (and I do intend to write a prequel about that too lol)

I love their little sex affirmations. My fave part of the fic honestly. The way that they can bounce off each other, reassure each other and show understanding with a just a few words or hair pulls. I love it lol.

Anyway, Vincent starts acting a bit differently after the Gold Saucer date, and I am so excited to show you all. I am writing furiously, but these things can't be rushed lol.

[borgialucrezia]

Hi! I love the borgias and just discovered your blog, when I watched the show I thought from episode 1 Cesare loved Lucrezia a lot but throughout the seasons I only thought Juan had brotherly feelings about her, so I'd be really curious to know your interpretation on why it appeared that he was harbouring maybe more romantic emotions for her ?

hello and welcome! i really hope this doesn't come off as rude or anything but i've already answered this and written metas about it all over my blog dozens of times!! if you check the "juan x lucrezia"' tag, and posts like x, y and z for example then you might get an idea of why i think that because i feel like i'm just parroting at this point lol. but since you're new to my blog, i'll bite and answer this again so....

first it's important to remember that incest is a response to dysfunctional and unhealthy dynamics within the family. juan is a pariah among the borgia family, heavily misunderstood and desperately alone while being forced into a role with heavy expectations. this pressure tore him and his relationships with his family apart. his love for lucrezia is clearly one-sided, and everything about his arc in the show makes that very obvious.

when rodrigo sent juan to fight the french, he placed his illusory hopes on him and his small army, even though the forces were clearly unequal, juan, motivated by his desire for his family's validation and his need to protect them, was willing to sacrifice himself (which i think is laudable about him). but he only backed down because the prospect of dying would have devastated lucrezia, who begged him to surrender and survive. he loves her so much that he couldn't bear to imagine her hurt by his death.

there's also the whole paolo fiasco and how juan reacted when paolo came near lucrezia. he was aggressively overprotective of her and hideously jealous while watching her kiss paolo, with tears in his eyes (i parallel it with cesare watching lucrezia and alfonso consummating their marriage in court). when lucrezia deliberately came into his room, knowing he was with a prostitute, he was excited to see her watching him. then he asked for lucrezia's permission to choose his wife, who """coincidentally""" resembles lucrezia!

and just when he thought he had genuinely protected his sister's honor, her attempt to kill him to avenge paolo broke him in different ways. he hurt her, and she hated him for killing paolo. yet he tried to reconcile with her because he didn't want to lose her affection and respect. after being rejected again by someone he loves deeply, he lost his mind, which provoked him to hurt her back.

also his lack of repulsion or jealousy toward cesare and lucrezia's affair and his desire to be a part of it obviously says everything we need to know lol! considering how incestuously aggressive he is toward both of them and the sexual innuendos he throws at them.

that being said, even without david oakes' insights, this promo is pretty much clear enough and speaks for itself!! a show like the borgias which leans into subtext and symbolism, it doesn’t need to spoon-feed narratives or require the characters to announce their feelings, especially a character like juan, who behaves rashly and reacts negatively as a way to express his affection. and for the people who keep denying juan's feelings for lucrezia...well, it's either insecurities about their ship and feeling threatened by juan or skill issues—no offense ofc lol

[taylortruther]

i should be studying but whatever hoax and nyc is more important (forgive me if this is doesnt make sense/ messy and long but i have been wanting to gather my thoughts on this since ttpd came out!) i have said this before but some bits of suburban legends (as an interpretation) is so matty coded to me honestly because it is obvious that at least the idea of them together was very fascinating to both (? i think) matty clutching onto interesting women because he LOVES the idea of legacy and attention while taylor obviously (at least now) loves the concept and wants love (valid; re the prophecy). i had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs (love) would surprise the whole school (shock value; how other people percieve them- a bit of him). and in a way nyc and taylor does this as welll; she desperately needed nyc as a safe haven and saw it as a place where she could be percieved as a grown person (some themes of peter, and just like the transition of speak now -> red). and she always had the same tug and pull with nyc even now (re hoax) similar to whatever the fuck was with going on matty and her. so the vault tracks of 1989 just makes a bit more sense when you consider the ttpd universe- and i am not even talking about dating, but her being her own muse. and i think that is why ttpd went a bit over general public's heads because a) you need to actually look at hoax from such a broad perspective,. b) everyone was so focused on the personal side of it; that they forgot to take taylor herself into consideration so yep it is messy because her life was messy during that point she was just grasping on whatever and whoever was working. same as nyc she was like new york isnt working because 1989 oversaturation that whole fiasco of 2016 that she had to run to london thinking that might fix something (and it did work for a while obviously) (but it treated her the same as nyc- and the people in it from hindsight). sorry this probably doesnt make sense and i did went into a rambling at the end </3

i think i'm following, like nyc represented something to then-taylor the same way matty represented something to her? i feel like taylor has way more fond feelings about nyc now, but tbh that's why i feel like i can't fully follow the city/suburb/small town metaphors in her albums. like i'm not sure they're very strict metaphors.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Fake Dating AU, how aware is the actual production crew of what is actually going on with the cheating? are they as in the dark about what actually happened as the cast or are they very aware of it?

Mainly asking since depending on the timeline of events the entire plan to have Aleheather be potrayed as sympathetic and scorned relies on production not revealing it at the wrong time

like how would alenoaheather play around production revealing the plan, or alternatively, letting the plan go on for way longer than intended?

I think we touched on this very briefly in one of our reblog chains, but the production crew are fully aware of Alenoaheather's scheme- they're aware of everything that happens on the jet, since the whole thing is bugged with cameras.

Given the timeframes of both the episodes themselves and the Aftermath, it's safe to assume that each episode is edited and aired within a couple days of them being filmed, meaning the editing crew has a few days notice of any plot twists and can choose which footage to air accordingly.

So when the fake cheating plot is devised, the head of production decides to let it play out exactly as the three intend it to, but with the added bonus of the audience itself being kept in the dark. A ballsy move for a reality tv show, but a great plot twist to reveal later on in the season (they're investing in future drama. It's very on-brand).

Because what's better than a successful villain? A sympathetic villain.

Alejandro and Heather have set up the perfect antagonist redemption arc AND a bigger cheating scandal than the Gwuncan fiasco; it's ratings gold! So the production crew are instructed to play along, editing the episodes to ommit any mention of their ploy and depicting Heather and Alejandro as sympathetically as possible. (At the cost of Noah's reputation, but who really cares about him anyway?)

So pretty much everyone on the production crew are fully aware of what's really happening, they're all just under a non-disclosure contract so they can't spoil the season before it airs. Meaning that anyone In The Know can't leak their footage to clear Noah's name, or to expose Aleheather for being perhaps not as sympathetic as they've been portrayed as.

Of course, Aleheather spend the rest of the competition under the impression that the audience and the ex-competitors are fully aware of their ruse, so the warm welcomes they recieve in Hawaii come as a major shock to them until they realise that, oh shit, the show itself has played along with their scheme.

But that whole plotline has already been explored/explained in a previous reblog chain.

(Of course, this is all just my own ideas/interpretation. Nothing is set entirely in stone for this AU, and my word isn't law since it's become sort of a team effort, joint custody type deal. /pos)

[shimmerofstars]

Upon rewatch, Arcane actually has two layers with regards to Jayce, Mel and Viktor. The framing of the show suggests one thing, and depicts another. Watching Viktor cough up blood in between Mel and Jayce making out makes the whole experience uncomfortable at best and suggests Jayce is choosing Mel over Viktor or his science work, especially when later, Jayce going to Mel for comfort over Viktor's prognosis fades from this (Jayce laying on Mel's lap):

To this (Viktor sitting alone in front of hextech mixed with his blood):

except...

Jayce was with Viktor, spending time with Viktor by his bed at the hospital right before he went to Mel for emotional support.

And that scene where Jayce makes love with Mel? That's literally in the middle of the night- the stars are out. He's not at work because he's not on work hours. He's not choosing anyone over anything, he's having a romantic life and events outside of his work while also maintaining his friendships.

Or the framing of this scene in episode 5:

Jayce: Yesterday's smuggling fiasco was nothing. These manifests are full of discrepancies, dating back months.

Viktor: This is a poor use of out time.

Jayce: I'm a councilor now, Viktor. It's my responsibility to make sure the hexgates are safe and protected.

Viktor: What about our pledge to improve lives, for those in need? For the undercity?

Jayce: [sighs] Look, I'm sorry I didn't announce our other projects in my speech. Soon we can do everything we-

Viktor: Soon? There are people who need our help now, Jayce.

Which can be interpreted as Jayce thinks trade discrepancies are of equal or more pressing concern than the lives of those in the undercity or that Jayce is prioritizing the lives of future citizens over the people he could help now, except...

Before Mel suggests that Jayce, a scientist who's familiar with the technology and is proficient enough in social situations and public speaking that Heimderdinger allowed him to give the annual Progress Day speech, should be elevated to the position of councilor and specifically given the responsibility of tracking down the person who stole the hexgem, the two options were:

a) do nothing about the fact that the hexgem, which is extremely powerful and can power almost anything (including weaponry) has been stolen by someone willing to kill six people to get it

or

b) shut down everything powered by the hexgems so that they can't be accessed by the thief until they find the missing hexgem

The council controls all of the activities of hextech and has the ability to control if, when and how the technology is used, which would include the distribution of hextech into the hands of the people. Considering the fact that the council is already highly wary of magic and currently believes that the stolen hexgem will likely be used as a superweapon, there is a zero percent chance that the council would approve of mass producing hextech to distribute to the people, especially for people of the undercity, who the council likely perceives as inherently more dangerous or less worthy, or both. Jayce being a councilor and taking his duties as councilor seriously gives hextech its only chance at independence (as Mel put it: "With that comes the potential to shape your own destiny") and distribution to the people living in the undercity. Which would only be possible if 1. Jayce gives the council the reassurance they need that the technology will be safe in the people's hands by addressing or catching the thief and 2. Jayce having a vote himself increases the chances that a motion to distribute the technology would get passed. Meaning that Jayce needs to take his duties as councilor seriously to achieve his and Viktor's dreams of helping the people, and he is just as concerned as Viktor is. Even if Jayce gave up his councilor duties/work to achieve the ultimate form of hextech with Viktor (like Viktor wanted him to) that's the perfect medicine/healing technology, it wouldn't mean anything if none of it could get to the people because the council believes it's too dangerous.

Anyways I just can't quite figure out why Arcane is sort of framing Jayce as someone who's prioritizes Mel/his councilor work over Viktor/helping the people while showing that Jayce's councilor work is important to helping people and dedicating multiple scenes to show that Jayce does hangout with/work with Viktor.

[absolutely-normal-about-x]

OKAY MY TURN NOW: drop the headcanon deets. What's living rent-free in your head right this moment 👀

HOLY SHIT GOT SHOT BACK- LANDKSBDKAHDKAND

But alright!! There’s so many (Aside from Legends Reborn)

I mostly keep this shit in my head and I can make a huge list of it but dawg most of mine involves my silly interpretations- plus I seen people

It’s kinda a mess to think about but I’ll go to my personal favorites

X being chunky always gives me some feels for me, like he would fucking rock it. He’s actually more tanky then Zero while he’s sorta at times a glass canon (Mf Died like multiple times and X died Once). It derives from the idea of why he chose a thicker body, because the area of his stomach was pierced by Sigma like twice. So basically it gives him extra defense. Despite the it he’s just a Flexible as ever but a bit more slower.

Meaning that his “Stomach” area is incredibly sensitive and he will smack you on instinct if you touch it. He suffers phantom pains occasionally. It's a massive bitch but he got used to it.

(Aka I believe Burly/chunky X supremacy)

X has a soft spot for children okay, since he’s very approachable to children, he would even let them draw on his armor. Babies are a definite weakness of his their tiny hands will make him cry so hard

So it would make sense that he would be a parent but he would rather settle down to start a Family in peace times and after he himself healed and rested.

Zero is kinda a low key creature, in the sense that he actually has retractable claws and can run on fours but only for extremely rare occasions. That's because he’s not only the ultimate war but also the ultimate predator. Aka he’s fucking lion coded

One of the reasons why X and Zero are always different compared to other Androids and shit is because they were made from Alien tech/Energy stuff. You can’t fucking tell that Dr Light didn’t used the material that Duo left to include that while making X right? And Zero…We all know Wily was on some crack (I’m always a believer that He used evil energy to create Roboenza and what could eventually become the Maverick Virus). And no one knew about the whole fiasco with Duo aside from Megaman and the others. So it makes sense that Light and wily (Possible Cossack knew something about it) Used it for their final creations.

Marty (From the MMX manga that I’m absolutely so normal about) has so much knowledge of Marine life and the ocean, Rescue worker regulations and information is insane. How the flying shit did a marine rescue worker end up as an infamous Pirate Queen is a mystery to anyone.

She's also tall and muscular and is absolutely more “Beast-like” (Having scales, fangs and retractable webbed claws) to give off a more intimidating impression to keep folks away from her and her crew.

Speaking of her Crew they are all composed of other marine Rescue types, a couple Human Cyborgs (and a few non cyborgs) and a few Repliforce defectors. (A small fun fact in my silly XxMarty Valentine manatee oneshot, Marty brought up Gale Albatross who’s actually a former Repliforce soldier that defected as soon as they declared independence not wanting to be apart of it but is untrusting towards the hunters).

She may not look like but she genuinely cares for everyone in her crew and would do anything to protect them. She also courted her hair after her fight with Byte back at X3 manga. She has matured over the years but still holds her mischievous/prideful personality.

Contrary to what it's led to believe her crew aren’t like…bad or act like actual pirates. It’s more like they are more of an independent group. Since that they deal with poaching, taking out criminals out of sea, providing relief for coastal communities that were strongly affected by war, etc…They just Red Alert if they weren’t Bounty hunters.

Axl is absolutely a Streamer and a bit of a meme master. He’s a deadly actor and trickster so watch out he fucking glad that he’s a goober!!

Since I’m on a Legends kick

Legends is underrated as shit I mean the potential is great! It’s so fucking expansive Idk where to start-

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH CARBONS??

LIKE NO ONE IS MAKING HEADCANONS OF THEM AND ITS A CRIME!

I’ll probably do some of mine at somepoint how they are Biomechanical creatures and how they diversified and evolved (The master basically granted them access to things that were lost that belonged to their Reploid ancestors.)

Or how the Ruins can be function as Mystery Dungeons and the different between an Official Digger and a independent Digger and so much wkrbekeheiba)

There’s are what I have but dawg so many in my little critter brain of mine