#this is just my interpretation of Ashley’s character

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

……Asexual Ashley-

WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT—

Its very established that Ashley views sex as a transactional thing-

A way to keep Andrew around

A way to earn cash

A means of escape from the apartment

As a way of repaying Andrew for the soda

The only time she doesn’t view it as a transaction is when she thinks her parents fucked the neighbors.

Point is, to Ashley- sex isn’t for pleasure, but to get something/repay someone.

She hasn’t given any indication that she views anyone as sexually attractive, not even Andrew.

In conclusion,

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Ashley, self-esteem, and starvation

So, I adore Ashley. She's this intensely toxic, vicious, cruel, manipulative girl, and her psychology gives me hella brainworms. Andrew's not the only one whose head I wanna crack open and root around lol. She's thrown away the world just to keep her brother by her side, and she'll continue to do worse and worse for the same reason. She's pretty awful! I've been thinking about why, though. How did things get so bad? How did her soul get so dark?

We don't know everything (I'm waiting for those new eps patiently aND CLAWING AT THE WALLS AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH but whatevs y'know whatevs I'm normal. I'm fine), yet what information we have been given is bumping around my brain like a DVD screensaver on hyperdrive

It's clear from the start that the roots of Ashley's issues lie in her horrible, neglectful upbringing, but it's hinted that even those outside of her family felt the same abt her. I'm lowkey even betting we'll learn later on that she was ostracized by her peers somehow. However, what's most disconcerting, I believe, is how little she was when the results of this alienation are first made apparent to us (bc kids aren't dumb; they notice this stuff oftentimes instinctively, impossibly young, before they even know what it means to be hated), and how devastating the consequences were.

(There's something decidedly childish abt her dream sequence in the "questionable" route—filled with crayon scribbles and rabbit plushies, the metaphors simplistic yet profound—which really hammers in how these sentiments are things that have made a home in her since childhood. Formative subconscious truths.)

Growing up unloved and noticeably unwanted by virtually everyone around her likely left her with a gaping hole in her heart that she'd spend the rest of her life trying to fill. She'd make friends, but she'd always worry that they'd leave her, that they'd betray her, nothing tangible or weighted enough in their connection to trust in its persistence. Why should she expect otherwise? Not even being bound by familial ties ensures affection if her parents are any indication.

Every lesson she'd ever learned had always taught her this: you are easy to abandon. You cannot love and be loved by virtue of your own worth.

You have to rip their affection from their clenched hands if you want it so bad.

This understanding carries with it an undercurrent of degradation, instilling within Ashley a constant, biting inferiority complex which will never fail to be a source of insecurity. She will always be put last. She was difficult to raise, so her parents gave up on raising her. She was difficult to get along with, so her friends gave up on getting along with her.

It's an odd cycle. She's difficult bc she needs to be to get attention, but bc she's difficult, she can't keep it. Not without having whatever fondness she's managed to cultivate within someone fray at the seams, volatile and prone to collapse, bleeding toxicity.

Hence, her relationship w/Andrew.

By being the only reliable constant in her life, caring for her and keeping her company, Andrew essentially became her only source of happiness, and she's since learned not to bother with anyone else. Still, it's dangerous to keep all your eggs in one basket; since he is all she has, she must protect her place in his life with even greater ferocity, which becomes a torturous ordeal when coupled with her damaged self-esteem.

It's apparent in her quarrels with Andrew that she needs constant reassurance that she is wanted in some capacity or perceived in some positive light (getting pouty when Andrew says he's "stuck with her", needing to hear that she's pretty, needing him to "choose her", wanting him to say he loves her back, etc. etc.), yet her insecurity remains, bc unlike her, he's got options. She doesn't think he needs her like she needs him. He's got a gf, their parents love him, her friends love him. Why would he settle for her? What if someone better comes along? Someone she can't scare away?

Wouldn't he just leave her like everyone else?

Even before getting locked in the coffin of their apartment, starvation's been a constant theme in Ashley's life. She's constantly aching for love, and Andrew's the only one who can feed her. When you're forced to fight for a bite to eat or suffer every moment you hunger, you become ravenous—covetous—when faced with food; you don't want the hunger to return, so you lock down the source of your sustenance, wary of its retreat. Ashley's in a permanent state of intense insecurity, always anxious that the love that gives her life will leave her.

Andrew knows Ashley better than anyone else in the world, and it's obvs to everyone and him how desperate Ashley is for him, but I don’t think Andrew has truly, consciously processed the depth of that desperation. It's there buried in his head somewhere no doubt, but rn, he doesn't operate w/the direct awareness that he is everything. He is brother, mother, friend, and soulmate. He is life and love, air and water, everything that is good in the world—everything that there is to justify existence.

It's heartbreaking, in a way, that it's so difficult for Andrew to convince her of his loyalty. This goes further than his tendency to hide his true feelings, bc when push comes to shove, he's at her beck and call. Objectively, he's hers. She doesn't see that bc all she sees is all the ways she can lose him.

So, she gets bratty. She gets pushy, possessive, territorial. Manipulative. Gets under his skin, guilts him to exhaustion, bc she can't see him staying any other way, bc he doesn't get it, bc it works. He bends to her will, for her sake. For now. It's always "for now", bc he'll start slipping away again, and then it'll get worse. She does worse.

Becomes worse.

[escapedaudios]

If you could cast any actors (dead or alive) to play your main characters who would you cast?

I'm going to overextend my interpretation of the "dead or alive" part to include older actors in different eras of their lives. Anyway (Ahem).

Eduardo Noriega as Jean DiPietro

Alan Tudyk circa 2001 as Fletcher

Joe Jonas in mustache mode as Ivan Ibañez. He's 27 in this photo but he's 34 now so he's the perfect age to play him too if he just returns to the mustache.

Ricky "Steamboat" Blood circa 1983 as Crow

Miguel Angel Muñoz as Alfonso Villalba (if only I could get him to shave)

Ethan Lamb Kelly as Ashley Walker, I'm pretty sure he can do a convincing Califonrian accent with enough training.

Moses Thiessen as Thaddeus Clydesdale. Word is that he's gotten more jacked in his post-Riverdale years and soon he'll be buff enough to be a perfect Thad.

Timothee Chalamet as young Benji

Hafþór Björnsson as Basher

Liam Hemsworth as Jäger

No idea who'd play Walter, he just is the mask.

[velvet-vox]

V and Doll; trauma, mental disorder, and low empathy.

(Warning: this post is slightly outdated and contains some incorrect medical terms that don't correspond to the modern classification of ASPD. You can still read it if you are curious, but don't take anything stated here as hard facts. They are not.)

Very recently on my notifications I received a reblog by @aroaceweirdos101 to a response I've made to a post talking about how Doll went through so much more pain than V, and it made me realise that the response in question was actually, like, really good.

I had genuinely forgotten and underestimated how good of an analysis of both V, Doll, mental health and societal stigma it really was.

Now, of course, I disagree with the sentiment that Doll suffered more than V and fully believe that out of the two V endured way more pain and trauma than Doll; yet, although the responses in the comments checked out with what I previously said, they felt... meaner?

Like, the answers went to the opposite extreme of the original comment and tried to downplay Doll's trauma in comparison to V's, almost implying that Doll was a b##ch (which she was) for snapping as hard as she did when V still managed to retain a sense of restraint; and I disagreed with that, so in response I wrote this:

*Look, I believe both Doll and V are interesting characters, and although I feel more sympathetic towards Doll, I definitely believe V went through so much more pain than Doll and had way more reasons to snap and be the way she is now, but I just really hate people who use that as an excuse to label Doll has the more evil of the two or "she was always just a psycho, she just needed an excuse to snap"; it's especially disheartening when people straight up interpret her as unreademable or pure evil, when V and N's body count is 10 times higher than Doll's.

Also, I'm sorry but I really can't stomach the possibility of Liam redeeming the genocidal war machine and not the broken orphan created by said psycho, it literally would be the fictional pinnacle of "since these are the protagonists, they can get away with as much as they want and are always in the right"; I'm fine with the way Doll died because it was done by Cyn and there wasn't any moral lesson to be gained from our protagonists about it, but if it was done by N, Uzi, or worst of all V again, it should have played out like "we have reasons to do the things we do, and you have yours, unfortunately we're on opposite sides and you are hurting us so we must kill you now".

The human (worker drone) mind is extremely fragile, and some people, due to a probably inherited and undiagnosed mental illness or a particular personality type, are more at risk of snapping then other people, yet instead of being understanding towards those who are born with more issues than others (especially women, look up Azula or Ashley Graves) we tend to isolate, demonize and then kill them because they were incapable of fitting into the larger societal standard of acceptable social behaviour, even when said society never did anything to help them meet its unreachable standards because it required too much work from society's side to give you the special attention you needed in order to make you work and fit in.

V was a quiet kid because she was shy, Doll was a quiet kid because she was introverted. Those are two very different types of people and one of them (Doll) was inherently more at risk of developing mental health issues than the other due to their personality type and how it's stigmatized.*

Here's also the original post made by an anonymous user on @md-confessions

Also, here's the link to another post still talking about V and Doll. I made two comments in response, but neither of them is particularly well thought out and since you can't correct them I left them as they were.

Now, back to the highlighted part:

I want to use this response as a springboard to talk about the main differences between Doll and V when it comes to their different handling of their decaying mental health and why it's unfair to say that one of them was worse than the other based on their actions and attitude towards the problem.

(Also, all of the Murder Drones characters are extremely complex, and the fact that the show doesn't have filler makes it harder to get a good grip on one's particular mindset, so if it seems like I'm talking more about Doll than I am about V, it is because V is the most complicated character in the cast and I'm not as confident to talk about her as I am with Doll; it took one entire year to finally understand Doll as well as I do now, so V is a touchy subject for me that's why I might not do her justice).

First of all, it has to be said: Doll is a sociopath, V isn't, despite appearing like one. And that's ok.

When I say that I feel more sympathy towards Doll than I do for V, this is what I mean: I don't sympathise with Doll heartlessness more than I do with V jackassery; rather I understand and relate with Doll's low empathy since I also have low empathy as well, and it is quite common for people like us to be misunderstood for uncaring individuals.

It's the same reason why I and many others tend to like villains and sympathise with them more than we do with the heroes (Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 is the perfect example for this); it's quite common for villains to be written as individuals with low empathy, as an highly empathetic individual tends to be harder for the audience to buy as an antagonist, since you need to justify why someone this caring is committing all this heinous and terrible stuff, but if that person is already unemphatetic by nature, than it's just a matter of establishing their goals and motivations. These people also tend to be ostracized by their environment and go through a gruesome and violent death because it's socially acceptable to let these despicable individuals find comeuppance through death since they lack the traits that make a person traditionally good.

So, when people use the "So what? She's got dead parents. Many others do, including Uzi, who's also infected with the Absolute Solver, yet they have not become cannibalistic serial killers obsessed with revenge" as a slight against Doll it's not entirely fair because from what we've gathered in the show the other worker drones don't suffer from sadistic impulses and sociopathy like Doll does, even if they (Rebecca) are pretty uncaring. (Side note, Uzi also suffers from sadism/sadistic impulses, but not from sociopathy, hence the main difference between the two).

V, on the other hand, despite what her introduction and psycho girl persona might trick you into believing, was never a sociopath nor did she struggle with low empathy, she was, instead, a pretty timid maid who suffered through unspeakable physical and psychological trauma that led her to adopt this fake identity to cope for the atrocities that she was now committing for the company (Absolute Solver) and the safety of N; V cared about N in a pretty normal person kind of way: she kept N at arms length and hid the truth from him so that he wouldn't get hurt, all while detaching herself from the actions she was now committing, not saying Doll wouldn't or didn't commit any of these actions, but V did them in a way that better aligns with someone who doesn't suffer from sociopathic disorder.

Speaking of N, since he has been mentioned, I'll say that while Uzi suffers from sadism but not low empathy (she has shown to be pretty empathetic many times), N doesn't suffer from sadism but from low empathy; as better explained by a section of this post made by @melissa-titanium :

N x Doll

Don't believe me? Then maybe you should rewatch the series again because N's unemphateticness is his own can of worms to delve into.

But back to Doll, it's time to dissolve (😏) one of the oldest misconceptions surrounding her character:

Doll reached out for help. A lot. She just didn't have any luck with it.

Call me crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that the fandom wide spread belief that Doll rejected all the help that was handed to her to be a massive lie, and in fact, Doll actually tried to reach out way more than you thought, arguably, even more than Uzi:

The impact that Yeva's education has had on Doll's life can only be noticed in this way: Yeva extended her hand to Nori and she accepted it, thus, it is fair to assume that Yeva taught Doll to be pretty open to others and to give a hand to someone in need (the show was rewritten after the pilot, so ignore the incongruences with Doll's initial characterization), and in fact, after enduring the trauma of watching her parents die, she opened up to Lizzie for help and support, unfortunately, Lizzie wasn't exactly the right person to talk about these things (no offence to her, all of Uzi's classmates suck for one reason or another, including Uzi herself, I guess that's what happens when you are stuck inside a bunker your whole life), after all, Doll was still killing and cannibalising her classmates.

Then, before she went back to gain her revenge, she tried to get Uzi on her side, which wasn't an attempt to open up, but she was still willing to connect, even if for the wrong reasons. Finally, once she discovers that Uzi also has the Absolute Solver, she promises to help her out, and at this point, Doll wishes to talk it out with Uzi, but because she is surrounded by the Disassembly Drones (V), she can't.

And now, for the most interesting discussion, there's this brief and frankly weird moment in episode 5 where Doll compliments Khan for raising Uzi, and while Khan laughs it off immediately, since he is a dumbass, this could have been a perfect opportunity for him to reach out to Doll and reason with her, since she's clearly putting aside whatever her objective actually is to talk to him, but he doesn't catch on, and this leads Doll to immediately closing herself off again and returning to the mission, and like, maybe we all kind of underestimated how much significance this moment carried, but consider this:

Doll, at this point in time, has been living out in the cold for what... a month? Six months? A YEAR? If we exclude J and Cyn from the equation, this is probably the only social interaction she ever had since The Promening, yet, because of Khan's lack of touch, she immediately reminds herself of the massive disconnection between her and the other workers (eh ehm sociopath) and thus storms off rapidly; this moment is actually quite painful when you look at it from this perspective, yet it's also, the only interpretation that makes sense? Otherwise how do you explain the existence of this moment when Murder Drones is a show infamous for his high plotting and lack of filler? They had to go out of their way to animate this, so why did they play it off in this way?

Tessa is a meanie

Penultimately, and again, I want to bring up a post by @capnsaltsquid since that's where I got the inspiration to write this paragraph off, Doll opened up to J and Tessa to get the answers she was seeking, yet not only Tessa shot her in the face for s###s and giggles, but then proceeded to fraternise with her parents murderers, and at this point, she closes herself off enough to realise that she might have to unintentionally kill Uzi and leave everyone in the dust if she wants to get anything at all.

But unfortunately, that is not the case, she dies of a lonely, meaningless, gruesome death, and at this point, she still tries and finally succeeds in reaching out to Uzi, and yet, like all of her previous tries, this is unsuccessful, as Uzi has other things in mind right now.

To wrap things up nicely, both V and Doll went through severe amounts of trauma and handled said trauma in a similar yet also different way, since they are different individuals who process emotions and love differently, thus the actions they took made sense for the person they were and should only be judged in the context of their writing and characterization.

Want more?

[counterspelling]

I think for my interpretation of why this means so much to you [Ashley Johnson], and why it means so much to me for you to be a part of this is, is cause Ellie IS you in so many ways. Like, we wrote that game kind of live, organically, like we had some ideas of where the story was going but then you were cast. And you helped shape that character SIGNIFICANTLY. One of the first scenes we shot is the truck ambush, and in the game, you get pulled out of the truck and you’re kind of like, wrestling with this guy until Joel comes and saves you. And you pulled me aside when we were working on that scene and were like, “I feel like I would fight back more. I’d be more active here.” And that was the first like moment where the character started shifting toward becoming much more capable, and I think interesting because of that. And that was just one of many changes that over the years that we had talked about and you contributed. And we talked about this in the previous episode, like Ellie’s love of space, is you. That wouldn’t be there if weren’t for you

Neil Druckmann, Episode 9 - "Look For The Light" | The Last of Us Podcast | HBO Max

“I don’t believe we wrote ‘Aw, you’re so tough.’ That was just you!“ - Craig Mazin

[written-in-sunshine]

Hello! I’m Key, and this is my commission sheet! All of the necessary information for commissioning me is here, and I’d appreciate it if you could take a look before shooting me a message! Here is my Ao3 For Reference!

GUIDELINES

Please read my Will Not Write section thoroughly. Just because something is on the list doesn’t mean that I dislike or don’t support it, but there are things on that list that I just don’t have enough interest in writing. That said, things on my Will Write list do not inherently mean that I support or like it.��

Currently, the only fandoms listed that I will write for are Resident Evil Biohazard/Village/4 Remake, and Saw (1-8). This is because it is a hyperfixation for me and I am more capable of writing for them without issue.

I will allow up to three edits of less than 300 words before those incur a fee. If I interpreted your prompt wrong entirely, please let me know. If the confusion was on my part, no fee for a total rewrite will be incurred.

Please message me before filling out the form for a commission. I’d like to discuss particulars about certain topics and things and I’d like to approve the commission beforehand.

If given artistic freedom for a prompt, I will write how I naturally write the characters. I am willing to take direction for how you want characters to be written. I would prefer not to go against canon to the point of completely erasing a character’s identity. This does not count for certain kink scenarios (Bimbofication and other mind-altering things).

This is a proship and kink-friendly account. By proship, I mean that I will not harass others over their fictional tastes and I do not support harassing anyone for any reason. I will write things that will make you uncomfortable. I will write things that are dead dove: do not eat. I will write a whole host of things and if that upsets you, please find someone else to commission.

I predominantly write romance, smut, fluff, and angst, but can try my hand at other genres. 

I do not mind aging characters up for smut, and I will write any manner of ship type from m/f, m/m/, f/f, to polyamory. Please keep in mind that a fee will incur for more than 4 characters in a ship per every 1k words. If your ship includes 6 people then I will require at least 1,500 words minimum to write them. Smut for that many will be over 2,000 words easily.

For prompts, I will accept up to five words, two sentences, or a small paragraph of what you would like for me to write. Prompt sheets are also okay to use! Please try to be as concise as possible.

I will not start your commission until the upfront $15 for the first 500 words is paid. Once that is paid, I will begin and you will only be charged for the rest once the fic is completely finished and edited. I tend to add 100+ words to things in the editing process, as a heads-up. Payment can be made via PayPal, Venmo, and CashApp.

Will Write List

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Most Kinks (PLEASE ask if you’re unsure), Smut, Top/Bottom Dynamics, Omegaverse, AUs, Crossovers, Domestic Fluff, Violence, Age Gap Ships, Any Sexualities, Intersex Characters, Homophobia/Transphobia/Fantasy Racism/Racism (IF THE CONTENT IS RELEVANT TO THE CHARACTER), Your OCs, My OCs, OC-Centric Fics, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst, Headcanon-Based Things, Canon Compliant Fic, Canon Divergent Fic, Most Ships, Sickfics, Whump

Will Not Write List

Defecation of ANY KIND, tickling, gas, eye trauma, OCs without proper information for me to work from

Ships Most Likely To Write - Resident Evil

Leon Kennedy/Ashley Graham

Leon Kennedy/Luis Serra Navarro

Luis Serra Navarro/Ashley Graham

Chris Redfield/Ethan Winters

Jack Baker/Ethan Winters

Lucas Baker/Clancy Jarvis

Lucas Baker/Ethan Winters

Mia Winters/Zoe Baker

Chris Redfield/Ethan Winters

Karl Heisenberg/Ethan Winters

Salvatore Moreau/Donna Beneviento

Ships I Will Not Write - Resident Evil

Leon Kennedy/Ada Wong

Luis Serra Navarro/Ada Wong

Chris Redfield/Mia Winters

Ethan Winters/Mia Winters (Past is Fine)

Ships Most Likely To Write - Saw

Lawrence Gordon/Adam Stanheight-Faulkner

Lawrence Gordon/Scott Tibbs/Adam Stanheight-Faulkner

Logan Nelson/David

Mallick/Brit

Mark Hoffman/Peter Strahm

Scott Tibbs/Adam Stanheight-Faulkner

Scott Tibbs/Lark

Ships I Will Not Write - Saw

Lawrence Gordon/Allison Gordon (Past is Fine)

Adam Stanheight-Faulkner/Amanda Young

Fandoms I Will Write Crossovers With

Assassin's Creed

Catherine

Deadman Wonderland

Devil's Carnival

Dragon Age

The Evil Within

Fallout Universe

Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy X/X-2

Inception

Insidious

Invader Zim

IT

Jeepers Creepers

Kick-Ass

Kingdom Hearts

Krampus

Left 4 Dead

Lollipop Chainsaw

Mad Max

Nightmare On Elm Street

The Quarry

Portal

Saw

Silent Hill

South Park

Team Fortress 2

Until Dawn

Feel free to ask about other fandoms, as well!

Please reblog to spread the word!

[magpie-trove]

September Reads

The Night Librarian • Christopher Lincoln | Night at the museum-esque middle grade graphic novel about a magic library. Fun, didn’t really stand out, but fun

Witch Hunt • Elizabeth Levy and Andrea Ballis | YA non-fiction about the red scare. It’s written in an odd way, like a radio script, but I actually loved that, and it was put together from primary sources really really well. Easy to read, puts the story together really well, wish there had been a little more nuance but not like there wasn’t, I do recommend

What Really Happened in Roswell? • Kathleen Krull | kid’s nonfiction. Decent, but Laura Anderson’s Is Anybody Out There was better

The Jedera Adventure • Lloyd Alexander | Vesper Holly Edwardian archaeological adventuress off the Middle East somewhere! Very fun, delightful, high spirited, would make an excellent movie. Also it’s a quest to REpatriate an object but for reasonable period reasons not for holier than thou ones, so bonus points in the genre

Mapmakers and the Enchanted Mountain • Cameron Chittock and Amanda Castillo | middle grade fantasy graphic. I like the art, and the environments/world building are unique

The Next Great Jane • KL Going | this one seemed like it had everything going for it, it’s about a girl who wants to be an author like Jane Austen, she’s trying to matchmake her father, there’s an annoying boy—I was very excited about the version I had in my head, but it wasn’t that. HOWEVER it was something else and managed to bring me around to it. Minus points because the dad’s divorced and also because some of the characters didn’t feel very fleshed out (only a couple!) and the Austen references were generally a little hamfisted, but the story that it was had an ending I didn’t expect thematically that was really really good, and it had a great atmosphere. Good front porch during a storm reading.

The Bruised Princess • AG Marshall | short novella Princess and the Pea, interesting interpretation of the material

The Tornado Scientist • Mary Kay Carson | kids non fiction. Really well put together. Yes this was 100% because of Twisters

The Ugly Duckling • AA Milne | one act play. Still just as funny, still gets me every time

Glitch • Laura Martin | middle grade fiction, two kids who are enemies get stuck time travel missioning together. I had a fun time with this one! Well plotted, nothing profound, but a good good time! Also this is like the fifth book I’ve read this year that involved Lincoln’s assassination, completely unintentionally. Didn’t even know it was in this one. Just can’t get away from it.

Kling Klang Gloria • Jenni Sauer | adult sci fi retelling of King Thrushbeard. Could have used an editor but I enjoyed it plenty!

Out of the Tomb • Ashley Stangl | out of the tomb archaeologist sleeping beauty I missed youuuuuu <33333

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient's Official Playlists!

Hello, my stars! My previous poll has shown positive feedback for adding playlists to my Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader—Star Patient series. so here's the announcement!

I have six playlists for my stars to listen to while reading my yandere series. Each playlist is unique with their own meanings. This post is the explanation and introductory of these playlists and what they offer to your ears and reading experience. Links are provided!

The playlists:

Playlist 1 - (Y/N)'s Mixtape

A playlist of many different genres all brought together by the emotions of (Y/N)! Throughout the series, we see many different sides of our reader, so it only makes sense for our playlist to have many different genres too! From punk, to old love songs, to alt rock, and of course it wouldn't be (Y/N) without depression and lovesickness!

Some of these songs may even give hints about (Y/N) and future characters and plots too...

Soundcloud link: (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-y-n?si=24e8c3f8eaa4478b9a34d348d71a062e&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6kPtVJvCbki4fcnmK5GZT4?si=cc841fae0bcc4682)

Playlist 2 - Andrew's Mix

What I believe Andrew would personally listen and what songs he would like, so basically the playlist is my music headcannons for him. These are simple head cannons that are just harmless opinions, harmless opinions that people shouldn't take seriously nor should they act like freaks about (y'all know the type of people I'm talking about, they're unfortunately very common in the TCOAAL fandom).

These songs also correlate to his past (we all know it, being starved and abandoned with Ashley), along with the development of his feelings to (Y/N).

Soundcloud link: (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-andrews-mix?si=719861d03c2649e0a23ae69ccbc826a9&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4xnGLNokCmIk8tajzKzKED?si=88f08a43050744f7)

Playlist 3 - Oldies Playlist

A playlist for all our old souls. I feel like Tumblr playlists are so boring because they don't have much playlists that really connect with the readers. All of my readers have different tastes in music and I wish to accommodate them. Of course, I unfortunately can't do all the genres I wish (metal, rock, country) due to the fact that they wouldn't quite match Star Patient's themes nor would there be much songs that resonate with the series; however, old love songs music is fortunately a genre that can be interpreted with Star Patient!

This playlist is a of old love songs, a genre I would die for!

Soundcloud link (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-oldies-playlist?si=b7f1d157b16d45079d83c9a8c4d6d3ee&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link:(https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Y20wh1ahOq3D7zJMWchH5?si=9676e70feb7a46ec)

Playlist 4 - Calming Playlist

A place to de-stress and read some yandere fan fiction. This playlist has many calming melodies and lyrics verging from nostalgia, sadness, and love. Not everyone likes listening to loud pop or screaming lyrics, so this playlist is for those who enjoy the peaceful voices and sounds of violins and pianos.

While this playlist is similar to instrumental, it's still has its own place.

Soundcloud link (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-calming-playlist?si=85d0b7e90b0a4992a49d552319b1069e&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GZSLwRTSgly9iTuw6minI?si=c0f5569290ec41f1)

Playlist 5 - Instrumental Playlist

While this playlist is similar to the calming playlist, this one has practically no lyrics. It does have some lo-fi, classical, and instrumental soundtracks all spread throughout the playlist.

I understand some people can't focus on reading if there's any voices as it serves as a distraction for those who have a harder time focusing on tasks, so hopefully this playlist will help making it easier for those who want to read and listen at the same time!

Soundcloud link (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-y-n-1?si=05a1e6c6de5e47f1930af5f5cc1c925f&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link:(https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7msbvdBueJCKmcGrA7mwvX?si=c05c10f2d6724ad4)

Playlist 6 - Obsessive Playlist

And finally, we have the obsessive playlist aka the yandere playlist. It would be wrong not to have a playlist full of devotion and lovesickness for a series that features just that!

This playlist features tons of different genres and lyrics all relating to yandere. It has some of the classic yandere songs, but honestly I've gotten bored listening to the same songs in every yandere playlist so I've expanded beyond just those. Let's be honest, we all know "Suki Suki Daisuki" and "An Unhealthy Obsession" is in every yandere playlist, it's time for some new songs.

Soundcloud link (https://soundcloud.com/stellar-constellations/sets/star-patient-obsessive?si=77c70d1f293e47199829fe51c4b07255&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)

Spotify link: (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2W82XwZate1IAfGPOeWIF3?si=6c0e40160fdb4984)

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I know it's the fandom's preference to write that Luis had no idea what Umbrella was up to when he started working for them/that he had No Idea the Nemesis project would be used for Evil and it's likely considering his past that he truly was too blinded by his need to Fix Things to see the truth of it. But I prefer writing Luis as being a fucked up little guy who actually knew what Umbrella was about and kept working for them because of his Scientist Curiosity and then when they killed a bunch of people he jumped ship because Oh No, the Consequences of My Actions, and then he joined Los Iluminados because of his Scientist Curiosity with the amber, and then when he realised Saddler was just Umbrella 2.0 he jumped ship again because Oh No, the Consequences of My Actions, and it wasn't until Leon and Ashley (and Ada) showed up and he had to deal with the ramifications of his work first hand that he decided he needed to stick around to save them because this is his chance to fix things so he can be Redeemed. He cares a lot but he's still a little fucked up.

Edit: I really do appreciate that people have many different interpretations of Luis's character but this was NOT an invitation for people to tell me they disagree or that they do it differently. This silly post doesn't even scratch the surface of the depth at which I analyse and interpret his character, and it's absolutely not a reflection of how I think of his character in canon. It is SIMPLY how I prefer to write him. That's all. I shared because I thought people might also find it an interesting perspective, NOT because I wanted people to contest me. Thanks.

[theflyindutchwoman]

And you're so concerned about my love life because? Because I don't want to drive around on patrol with you while you are moping about screwing this up. Look, if you like this girl, you should listen to her.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.10 - Heart Beat

For a scene that is supposed to be about Tim and his relationship with Ashley, it is very interesting how it actually highlights the bond he has with Lucy… Something that is made perfectly clear with the way it parallels this moment from The Bet : 'Why do I care if Tim dates? […] You just want everyone to be happy'. (2.03) This exchange completes this scene so well, showing how this is really all about these two. How they just want the other to be happy. How she has often helped him in his relationships, how he has always listened to her and this, from the beginning. Lucy may not be particularly fond of Ashley but Tim is and that's all that matters to her. That's why she basically runs after him.

There might be a slight hesitation at first, where she realises that she might be overstepping a bit here, but she also knows that he needs to be made aware of her conversation with his girlfriend. The fact that Ashley felt more comfortable talking about her fears with her, instead of Tim, already speaks volume. And while Lucy might have joked around in the shop, I think that phone call shed a different light on the situation and made her understand that Tim didn't fully get what was going on. That what he interpreted as a dislike for Kojo is instead a fear of him. And she is so taken aback by how cavalier he is at first. I don't think she expected him to react this way. Though that is a thing with Tim : he can be dismissive but he listens. He takes the time to reflect on his own behavior so he can change it. Like when Lucy called him out for the way he treated the gardeners in the pilot or when she was upset that he was getting the credits for her hard work. And this is what is happening here, he's following that same pattern… He needed to hear this. More specifically : he needed to hear this from Lucy herself. Which makes her statement later all the more ironic.

This is really in-character for Tim to deflect a bit. But there's also a genuine curiosity when he asks her why she cares so much about his love life. They're still in this space where they're testing each other in some ways. It says a lot that he doesn't even think of biting her head off for interfering in the first place, like he used to. They are so far passed that. And it is a very good question… One she asked herself after setting him up with Rachel. And yes, this is who she is : she wants the people around her to be happy. But this is different. We have yet to see her set up anyone else on a date or try to help them mend their relationship the same way. Even when Jackson was having issues with Sterling, she simply offered a shoulder to cry on. That little extra is reserved for Tim, and Tim only. That's what makes this parallel so good in my opinion. Because he himself didn't even question it back then. But now that things are changing between them, he is. Their hug, that almost-kiss, their blatant flirting at work… The fact that he needed her at his side when he confronted his father… This is all adding up and there's an awareness that is starting to grow… But what makes this parallel even more special, is how it underlines their selflessness. They have always helped each other in their respective relationships, regardless of their opinions and feelings. The other's happiness is what matters to them. Even here, it's hard to know whether Lucy is aware of her own feelings for him at this point, but either way, she simply sets them aside to help him - consciously or not.

And like I said earlier, her advice is full of irony : 'if you like this girl, you should listen to her'. Because he does already follow this to the letter… with HER. She is the one person he always listens to. The one that makes him want to be better. Tim being offended at her implication that he mopes is downright hilarious - especially in light of season 5a. Her little smirk when she walks away… His epic eye roll… The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[deliciouskeys]

Hot takes, roughly in order of how much I care…

Homelander and Ryan

I liked the what felt like 2 minutes of Ryan and Homelander that we got in this episode. I know where they’re going with this, but I expected so much worse from the slapping scene that was mentioned in spoilers. Is the Boys writers’ room going on record that corporal punishment may not be justified in the face of sexual harassment? Because I think that’s a controversial stance, especially if there’s a clear work power dynamic at play lol. Anyway, I’m glad they chose this gray scenario, because it’s really hard to be sympathetic with a guy like Adam.

When Homelander says “that’s… amazing”, I think that’s being interpreted as incredulous and dismissive in online circles. I think he’s genuinely surprised that’s what first comes to mind to his son, but I don’t think he’s disdainful per se. In Homelander’s mind “saving people” is very much synonymous with “putting wrongdoers in their place”. And since he sees society (‘in America’) as wrong, his grand plan of supes becoming more of a despotic pantheon over the normies isn’t necessarily in contradiction with Ryan’s desire to ‘save people.’ TL;DR I don’t think HL is dismissing Ryan’s aspirations out of hand.

(Hearkening back to “You people should be thanking christ that I am who I am, because you need me. You need me to save you, you do. I am the only one who possibly can.”)

ETA: ok I need to clarify this part since what I wrote here sounds like HL and Ryan are going to get along great and that’s not what I meant to convey. I cannot field all the DMs! This is a hot take! I just meant that I didn’t expect HL to realize he might not know what Ryan wants because he’s been fucked by Vought. My expectations bar is perpetually low, please keep this in mind. I also despise the oversaturation of portrayals of bratty kids in media so please know that’s just my personal aesthetic bias.

Other Vought peeps

I wish Sage got more screen time. I appreciated ATrain’s taking initiative to escape notice. I do wonder what Ashley would have done if Cameron Coleman hadn’t just broken up with her.

I’m glad Stan Edgar gets to say Homelander is a “Freudian cesspool of random impulse and deep insecurity” right on the heels of e4. “Glad” lol.

Virus farm section

I’m getting a little tired of characters saying “we’re at an impasse” when… they’re clearly not at any real impasse. Victoria could have exploded the Boys’ heads and brought in other redshirts to help find Sameer if she really wanted to. And she paid the price for not doing that. Is the implication that she is afraid of Annie and Kimiko?

As for the virus… well. I’m strangely fine with what Billy is doing. If this virus isn’t even that contagious supe-to-supe, then his plan to keep trying to kill HL with it makes a lot of sense. As for Sameer? Well, if they hadn’t wasted the “last dose” (see below for why that’s stupid) of the virus on sheep, and Victoria didn’t just shrug and say ‘guess that’s that’, and also let the Boys live in the first place, Sameer would still have his leg.

I did cringe when the sheep was vomiting its guts out and Victoria, Kimiko, and Annie were all within Ebola-body-fluid-droplet range of it. Because this thing does sound more contagious than HIV, at least.

If Billy Butcher really needed some more virus I hope he grabbed the carnivorous sheep carcasses. Presumably there’s a gallon of replicated virus right there. Not only does it kill supes, it’s also a virus that replicates orders of magnitude faster than any living thing on earth lol. There are many things that are funny about how they’re researching this virus. Not a single biohazard tissue culture hood in sight. No cell based assays. AAAAANYWAY, it really doesn’t matter. Big fast compound V targeting(?) virus doesn’t need logic.

Overall just not a fan of big loud sequences with ultimately low stakes, so the flying sheep were a lot less fun to me than the e2 fight scene action.

What I think isn’t working

This is minor but after Gen V, I cringe at Sam’s acting. Just that one line they gave him sounded bad to me, and I know it’s probably just PTSD from how much I disliked the end of Gen V but there it is. I’m sorry to those of you who like him, this is clearly personal opinion. Cate is fine, she can stay.

Hughie’s storyline… I don’t even know what to say. Nothing about his parents’ shitty behavior was resolved. And then Hughie was forced to say his dad is his hero to save his mom’s life. And also be the one to euthanize him. What a weird, weird arc.

I’m saying absolutely nothing about Frenchie’s storyline because it is even more inexplicable. @kosmochlor covered it all.

[vergeltvng]

SPOILERS for The Boys Season 4

I'm still processing the final episode but here are some of my random thoughts, in no particular order. It was a wild ride and I enjoyed it for the most part. The season had its lows for sure and I'll never forgive the writers for how they treated Hughie. I'm still fucking mad about everything they did to him after episode 5. I also felt like they wasted a lot of potential with Annie's arc. She's been through a lot after season 3 and I loved the idea of her having an identity crisis but it was just so poorly executed. It all felt messy and as if the writers had no conclusion in mind for both her and Hughie's plotlines. Unfortunately I couldn't find myself caring a lot about Frenchie's and Kimiko's subplots which is sad because I love these two. I was hoping they get to kill that bitch Little Nina and Kimiko getting her revenge on the SLLA. Both could have happened this season before they got separated in the end. Instead we've been put on hold to wait if these plots get resolved at all. Firecracker and Sage were great additions, I loved to hate Firecracker and Sage gives off endboss vibes for me. I still feel like she's gonna betray Homelander in the end. Can't wait for "phase two". A-Train's arc was great, he truly redeemed himself and him showing up at the flat iron to save the others was proof enough for me how serious he was about doing the right thing. I liked all of his scenes with MM, too. I loved Ashley this season, I hope she gains some badass powers and kicks everyone's ass. I've seen some complaints about Homelander being nerfed - are we watching the same show? He is fucking unhinged and more terrifying than ever. He is basically god by the end of the season and can (and will) do whatever the fuck he wants with no one in his way. Someone telling me that's not scary?! He is and always will be one of the best villains in tv history. Poor kid Ryan, he deserved better. How is he ever supposed to feel safe around Homelander and Butcher phrasing it that way was downright evil and manipulative towards the boy because he knew it would make Ryan feel insecure and cornered. Him pushing and killing Grace was in self-defense. His reaction afterwards however is concerning and I guess ambiguous for interpretation on purpose. I still don't get how some people in the fandom could hate on a 12 year old child so much, leave the kid alone.

Where do I start when it comes to Butcher? I have many thoughts and this text is already long but I'll give it a shot anyway. Obviously I'm biased because I love this man and will defend him to the very end. I think his arc was one of the better aspects, he is still one of the best written characters on the show. What I always loved about him was him being truly morally grey and the ambiguity in his words and actions. He cannot be trusted. I don't know if it's me but Karl's performance makes him actually a lot more likeable than he deserves. He is a bad person and I don't think this is negotiable. I have thought about this so many times in made-up scenarios and I stick with my opinion that there's no fixing him and there never was. I have tried to stay away from fandom discourse as much as I could for my own well-being but I don't get how people act surprised and as a result hate over his behavior and decisions. I think most were true to his character and also him killing Neuman made perfect sense and was a well-deserved payoff narratively. Not that I'm not mad at him for doing so! I loved Vicky and she was such an interesting character. But his final words in season 3 were "that bitch has to go" and one of his main goals across the whole season was to get that virus to kill her. He was absolutely clear about it and worked towards this goal on his own terms, not even under the influence of Kessler. Certainly Kessler pushed him to commit some of his atrocities but it matched with what he wanted himself. He drew the line when it came to supe genocide and was conflicted about it initially but one of his core themes is doing whatever it takes and losing his humanity on his chosen path. Since he is highly intelligent he knows very well what's wrong with him what emphasises even more that he actively chooses to do bad things rather than being impulsive and regretful afterwards. I personally loved his turn at the end and I am eager to see his villain arc. What's not to love about evil daddy?! I could go on about some of the dynamics between him and Kessler but I'll do that in another post maybe.

[utilitycaster]

"There is zero attempt to extend anything but bad faith."

standing ovation for tidily describing this fandom in a nutshell tbh

Thanks, but I'm talking about a particular subset, the handwringy overwrought appeals to emotion crowd for whom the gods can never under any circumstances be redeemed, so unless you are also talking about that specific small piece of the fandom, I disagree! I actually think the fandom at large has been pretty receptive to the story as it's being told. And honestly, even when I've been in fandoms that frustrated me greatly with widespread bad faith interpretations (Midst and WBN have both had problems here)* they've come around when more obvious evidence came about. Better late than never.

I do think that an issue in this fandom, and fandoms at large, is not so much bad faith but as someone else said, motivated reasoning (though in the case of something the motivated reasoner dislikes, will become bad faith). A lot of people decide how they want to the story to go very early, often in a manner that validates their own existing real-world politics (even if they're not super applicable to the situation at hand) or personal preferences. I mean, that's in the end the source of a good number of shipping bad takes - people decide two characters must be in love and so even if they start dating other people and not talking to each other anymore, the motivated reasoning shipper decides that ACTUALLY this is all a front and the actor's blinks are in secret code and the relationship will definitely break up and the True Love was Always Endgame no matter how many times the creators say "no, it never was our intention to have those characters get together." But even then I think the silent majority of most fandoms are just. vibing and happy to be here. It's just that motivated reasoning people are loud.

And I'm not setting myself apart here; I'm loud and I'm certainly not without bias. My motivated reasoning tends to be based on foregone conclusions that I think are more likely to actually play out, I think, and I try to be self aware about it, but like, I do tend to assume stories will be good and follow some narrative lines and use the hints they drop, and that is itself an assumption because some stories are poorly made. Like, for example, with the gods, I do think that there is very little chance Matt is going to tell a story that's like "hey, Ashley, you know your first ever TTRPG character, who brought you into this friend group and whose life's purpose is to restore worship in the Everlight? Bad news, Everlight's a genocidal cunt and she's gotta die." That's obviously not my only evidence here. We've got the whole opening scene. We've got the fact that the non-Aeorian NPCs who aren't divine companions we've spent time with have been a sickly old man granted peace in death, a gnomish woman granted solace after being cruelly mocked by Aeorian forces, and the beggars who didn't have food despite wagons of supplies going to Aeor, whereas the Aeorian NPCs have been guards, slimy bureaucrats, teens badly beaten for minor crimes, and a drunk cop; the defaced and forgotten temple in a poor neighborhood that is heavily surveilled from afar because its laborers are unwelcome. Hell, as I said before it aired, the fact that the main PCs are gods and not Aeorian mages is a very deliberate and telling choice on its own. But yeah on some level, while I think Bells Hells have the space to decide to kill the gods since they are those same cast members (thought I doubt that is what they will do), I do not think Matt will tell an earlier story that says "hey, everyone at the table except Marisha? your beloved character(s) whom you played for all or most of a campaign followed a rotten-to-the-core lie."

Going off the meta of creators is a bit risky - a lot of dumb D20 discourse is based on assuming Brennan's leftism is the same as Very Online I Do Not Dream Of Labor Leftism and not his actual "the BBEG is the exploitation and undervaluing of labor and the dehumanization of others; labor itself can be deeply fulfilling, you just shouldn't be forced to rely on your capacity to do labor to the exclusion of all other things to be housed and fed" leftism and reasoning from there - but it's certainly more reliable than going off reasoning of "I as a random private individual want the gods to die for whatever the fuck reason and therefore that is the correct thing to happen and any other outcome is bad."

This is very rambly because I just got up and maybe it's that it's a nice morning and I can actually enjoy a leisurely breakfast before going into work unlike most of last week and much of the rest of this week, but for all I proudly identify as a hater, I am very much a lover of fiction and I want it to succeed and I want it to not just validate me. Like, if I hate on something it's because I wish it were better, but I don't hate on something just because it presents a different viewpoint than the one I already held. And I think you have to bring that good faith to fandom as well. If people are being idiots and assholes then yeah you don't need to keep acting like they're valid for that (I mean, they're valid in that everyone has the right to their opinions, but not in the sense that you need to grant those opinions intellectual consideration on par with thoughtful and evidenced meta and theories) but I do not actually go in assuming the fandom is going to be wrong and dumb and disappointing, and I think that's why I've found such enjoyment in it. Most people are chill! Chill people just tend not to loudly say WOW I'M SO CHILL AND THIS STORY IS GREAT.

*one bit of salt to cut the sweetness here but also still weirdly positive: the way I've dealt with that and specifically WBN is that I am trying to write one piece of meta after each episode that doesn't attack people or anything, just lays out my thoughts respectfully. Be the change you wish to see. I think a lot of people in fandom see someone disagreeing with them and go "OH YOU CAN'T LET US HAVE ANYTHING" and frankly this is the cause of almost all fandom unpleasantness I've experienced (in the sense of people seeing me say I don't like something and acting like I shut them down instead of simply didn't vibe), but it's important to remember that isn't how it works. Even if you do think the fandom has widespread bad opinions, you can change this by being thoughtful and patient and putting forth better ones. I mean there's limits, and if a fandom is genuinely hateful, get out, but if it's just surface-level takes for something that should be deeper? Be the one who shows the depth.

[ovaryacted]

Hey there! I saw that you mentioned writing an analysis on Leon's character, and truthfully i'd personally be really down to read what you have to say about him. There's barely any to go around unfortunately so it's very fun to read what other's take from the games.

Also, the most interesting arc of Leon so far to me has been from 4 remake, would you ever consider doing an analysis on him from that period and how he went through a drastically better development rather than that of OG? (ofc it's just my opinion since i prefer 4 remake version much much more!) either way, would love to see what you got!

Hey anon! I know you sent me this a while ago, and I want to give you a proper answer to this analysis so I will try my best to give you something well thought out because I really loved the direction they took to characterize Leon differently in RE4R. I also apologize if this was long, I tend to ramble lol.

So, we all know that the original RE4 is a cult classic in the horror gaming genre, and rightfully so. Here we see Leon Kennedy as the badass he is, he is capable, witty, and nonetheless different than the rookie we were first introduced to. However, considering the period the game was released in and the intentional perception of Leon Kennedy at that time, Capcom went the route of pleasing the "gaming bro" community to make Leon into something he isn't.

Sure, he's one hell of an agent, he knows what he's doing and quite frankly is probably the only person who is capable of saving Ashley Graham. But in the OG RE4, Capcom does not focus on the trauma that he's carried since RE2, which I also don't blame them for doing. The OG RE4 was released in 2005, of course, they were going to focus on making Leon Kennedy super macho and strong and just overall cool because that is what sells. Not to mention the objectification of Ashley Graham also matches up to the period as well, and that's already a whole other problem with gaming as a whole that is not just reserved to Capcom entirely.

Regardless of that, OG RE4 is still considered one of the best games in the genre. It's timeless, it's fun, and it makes other people appreciate Leon in another light because he is now "cool" enough as an agent that the rest of his experiences don't matter as much.

Now moving on to the RE4 Remake released in 2023, the direction they took in characterizing Leon is more on par with what they've been doing with his character since RE6. One of the biggest gripes I have with Capcom in particular is their lack of character depth when it comes to elaborating on the traumas that each character possesses. They are so busy trying to make these characters killing machines that they leave huge gaps in showcasing their humanity, hence why a lot of the lore involving these characters' pasts is left for consumers to interpret.

In RE6 which came out in 2012, Leon Kennedy often compares the mission in China and what happened at Tall Oaks to Raccoon City, saying how it reminds him of that day before he found himself in this mess fighting bioweapons. The detail might be minuscule, but it gives people the assumption that Raccoon City was in fact traumatizing and left a huge imprint on Leon's character, altering him for the rest of his life. You also see Leon wanting to save as many people as he can with Helena reminding him that they don't have the time or ability to do so. His survivor's guilt and humanity are now considered as parts of his character for probably the first time on screen.

Until then, we didn't really know anything else regarding Leon's experiences until the RE2 Remake came out in 2019, and here the way they characterized Leon changed dramatically. He really is just a guy who came to the wrong place at the wrong time, experiencing horrors unimaginable and miraculously survives with two other people he met less than 24 hours ago. Yeah, I'm sure if you drove into a city and experienced your own personal apocalypse, that is sure to change who you are as a person. Now, the RE2 Remake I think was the first remake that used the new RE Engine seen in RE7 & RE8, and from a gaming perspective, Capcom is now adding the horror aspect back into the RE franchise that was certainly missing.

We don't know what happens to Leon, Claire, and Sherry after the RE2 Remake game ends because they're seen walking into the sunset hand in hand, but the idea is that Claire goes off to look for Chris and leaves Leon and Sherry behind where they are eventually apprehended by the U.S. government. I think it's in Darkside Chronicles where Leon is seen being interrogated by the government and he's blackmailed into military service as a means to protect Sherry because she's infected with the G-Virus.

After that, we know that there are other missions that Leon went on in between that time; Operation Javier being the most prominent one since that happens before RE4 and it's where he's working alongside Krauser. There are of course other animations and movies that are made to show Leon at different points in his life, but we don't know much about Leon and what he's been doing in the new canon timeline until he is re-introduced to us in the RE4 Remake.

At the very start of the game, we get an opening monologue from Leon directly where he mentions that Raccoon City was a day he will never forget, the cop inside him died that day, and shares his frustrations with the government because they left people to die before literally nuking an entire city off the map and not saying anything about it. He also mentions that he was "asked" to join the military and help in this new initiative to destroy BOWs and states that he didn't have much of a choice. Just his training alone was gruesome even if we don't necessarily know what it involved, but it kept his mind off of the trauma and the pain he experienced constantly.

The words that Leon is saying plus the way the camera pans out to show Leon's face for the first time since we've last seen him in a canon game reflects just how much he's been through in that 6/7 year timespan. The details on his facial features are enough to show that he's been through the gutter: he's lost the baby fat in his cheeks (which happens with aging anyway but still), his dark circles are prominent along with his scowl, and he already has wrinkles on his forehead which probably came from stress.

It is very obvious that this is not the same Leon Kennedy that we saw in RE2R and that is done very intentionally. He's an agent now, he has experience under his belt, and just like the OG RE4, he is still badass and capable enough to do this job. The big difference in how Leon is characterized in the remake is his humility is now added as an aspect of who he is.

Despite all of the trauma that Leon has gone through and continues to experience, he still has his humanity attached which is one of the biggest things that make me love his character in particular. He cares, and that's what makes everything hurt for him. In that scene where he finds Ashley in the castle and consoles her, he's telling her the words he wishes someone had told him, reassures her that she is strong and will get through this, and even adds a small smile at the end. Leon isn't this heartless person and his trauma hasn't wiped out any remaining empathy he has left, which the remake captures well.

You also see Leon acting like this when he's next to Luis after Krauser kills him and is still remorseful towards him until death despite knowing that he used to work for Umbrella. And then again after he kills Krauser, someone who trained with him closely and who he thought was dead, he is emotional after using his superior's knife to end his misery despite it being a subtle detail. As you continue to play the game, there these moments in the gameplay where you get bits and pieces of Leon and the kind of person he is, which weren't really there in the original game.

The remake also didn't just highlight Leon's humanity but also changed how the other characters are perceived and added new elements that we could appreciate as consumers. Personally, RE4R is such a phenomenal game because of the changes they made to showcase Leon as a human being who is trapped in the worst possible circumstances one could think of, and it makes me hope that they'll elaborate on his trauma in a RE6 Remake or in other CGI movies.

I also hope that Capcom continues to give their beloved characters more of a spotlight that reflects who they are as people instead of their capacity to be badass agents, but one can only hope, right? I wonder what direction they'll go for the RE5 Remake and how they will change Chris, Sheva, Wesker, and Jill but everything is under speculation so we really won't know until that game drops.

[theggning]

Different anon than who spoke to sapphire-weapon but holy shit give me ALL of your metaltango thoughts from both OG and Remake please! That pairing is somethin' else.

ALL of them? Oh, anon, there's far too many for that... I do have plenty of thoughts though so if there's any specifics you might like do feel free to ask.

What I will do here is lay out some differences between Leon and Krauser's relationship (hypothetically romantic or otherwise) between OG and the remake and thus two different flavors of metaltango. Because Leon and Krauser are both pretty different characters between versions, *especially* Krauser, the differences make for some really interesting contrasts.

OG METALTANGO:

Leon and Krauser literally meet for the first time during Operation Javier (Darkside Chronicles version.) They are much more equal in standing and prestige, where Krauser is a career soldier with years of experience under his belt and Leon is the government's golden boy. There is kind of a gesture towards Krauser feeling jealous of Leon for this reason, but... well, there's kind of a lot of vague gestures made about Krauser's motivations that have always struck me as silly. (Poorly executed, to say the least.)

Because they meet for the first time on OJ and Krauser is immediately injured, any canon-compliant relationship between the two is going to have to happen in the aftermath/weeks and months after the mission. I've always kind of liked the idea that Leon befriends Krauser and they spend this time hanging out while Krauser is sidelined/in rehab to recover from his injuries. This has kind of been my go-to headcanon here, because otherwise there just really isn't any time for these two to even befriend one another apart from what's depicted in canon.

Once he decides to join up with Wesker to get his arm fixed/POWERRRR, Krauser fakes his death in a helicopter crash. This is presumably the source of the scars on his face in OG. Also, because he was discharged from the military, we are left to assume this helicopter crash happened while he was doing mercenary work (OG Krauser is said to work as a mercenary when he's not on duty with the military, because he feels unfit for normal society outside of the battlefield.)

OG Krauser works for Wesker, is genuinely loyal to him, and seems to genuinely enjoy his job. He joins up with the cult perhaps a few weeks before Ashley's kidnapping... and it is implied that the kidnapping was his idea to begin with to win Saddler's trust? Which it does not, incidentally. But I guess Saddler decides to opportunistically capitalize on the kidnapped head of state's daughter anyway. (OG Los Illuminados are a bunch of incompetent chucklefucks and their plans are completely doomed from the get go, ask me sometime.)

OG Krauser is sent by Saddler specifically to kill Leon, a task which he takes up with gusto due to... I don't know actually. If there's one constant with Krauser it's that his hatred for Leon is never really adequately explained, though at least the remake gives us a boatload of subtextual interpretations. I think OG metaltango is funniest if you interpret Krauser's grudge against Leon as the over-the-top actions of a jilted ex who left Leon on read when he got the breakup text (and also faked his death.) Anyway, one thing that really strikes me is how much fun Krauser seems to be having in OG. He's like, genuinely delighted to be attempting to murder Leon and with his plans to hand Leon's corpse over to Wesker once he's dead. (Put a pin in this one, it's a BIG change in remake.)

Leon is a lot more irritated with Krauser in OG and at least doesn't show an *unwillingness* to fight back. Only once Krauser has fallen does he lament that he "used to be a good guy..." He also seems really upset at Saddler boasting that he never trusted Krauser and the implication that Saddler was only using him.

Ada being the one to "really" kill Krauser in OG is dumb and has always been dumb, imo, and is more than likely an artifact of OG SW's clumsy development and what assets they had to work with.

REMAKE METALTANGO:

okay there is... a LOT more to work with here. Chiefest and most obviously, Krauser is now Major Krauser, and was Leon's commanding officer/mentor. This gives the two of them a much closer and more personal relationship, as well as 4+ whole years to work with, timeline-wise (Operation Javier happened in 2002.)

The mentor/student relationship provides another really delicious power dynamic to work with, shipping-wise. Yes, it's inappropriate for a military officer to have an affair with one of his subordinates, but we are also right in the middle of Don't Ask Don't Tell here so it's also literally forbidden for a soldier to be anything but heterosexual and still keep their job. Also consider, it's hot? Also like, bruh... if you're looking for Pure Wholesome Shipping Dynamics you are looking in the wroooooong ship.

Krauser is fulltime military this time around, no merc work to speak of (or at least no evidence of it.) He also never fakes his death in the remake. He has current contacts within the Secret Service AND is running around using his REAL NAME and ACTUAL military credentials to buy ordnance for Saddler (per SW,) there is absolutely no way we're meant to believe this man is legally dead.

There is evidence that Krauser showed special attention or favoritism to Leon, at least a little bit. Not only is Leon allowed to keep his hair while training (getting your head shaved/your hair cut short is like Basic Training Day One stuff,) but in the opening cutscene we see Leon and Krauser training in private in what appears to be a storage room- not a normal training space. Leon is the government golden boy here, but Krauser is also in charge of a whole unit of special forces guys. Somebody is getting private tutoring from the Major.

Leon respects and trusted Krauser. Krauser is said to have always been "an asshole" but also a man of honor. He is suggested to have been a difficult commanding officer, but also one who cared very deeply about his men and is traumatized by their avoidable deaths in OJ. (This one's my personal opinion, but I really can't stand the interpretation of Krauser having been an awful abusive piece of shit from the get go. Kind of wrecks the tragedy of his fall for me when he was always a cruel bastard. Why exactly would Leon trust, respect, want to emulate, or mourn such a person?)

So you could kind of intuit some trauma into OG Krauser, if you squinted. But there is absolutely no question that remake Krauser is suffering from some pretty massive PTSD. Along with his general unhingedness, all of his actions fit perfectly when viewed through a lens of a very, very traumatized man, used and abandoned by the government he trusted, desperate to gain the power that could have saved his men, and himself-- and the power to keep himself relevant so he can't be used and hurt again. I interpret that Krauser had his face scarred in OJ as well (he doesn't have the scars in the flashback scene with Leon.)

Remake Krauser joined Los Illuminados of his own free will, because they offered him the power to fix his crippled arm-- and the aforementioned power to unsuccessfully "fix" his trauma. But also, maybe it's just me, but I feel like remake Krauser does not give a fuck about the cult. He's loyal to Saddler, yes, but he openly disbelieves the cult religion ("Faith is for the weak, only power matters.") He commands the island mercs and helped set up the defenses, but he's also out here buying warheads under his own name. There is no way he doesn't think he's going to be caught by the U.S. sooner than later-- he just doesn't care. None of his notes read to me like somebody who genuinely thinks the cult has a chance to take over the world. Krauser joined these idiots so he could drink the juice, now the juice is all gone and he's still empty inside.

OG Krauser seemed to be having fun and set up his Leon deathmaze/training ground/mating display for a laugh. Remake Krauser, on the other hand, seems absolutely batshit out of his mind at this point-- alternating between the maze being a "final lesson" for Leon and a deathwish enactment mechanism for himself. Like... between Krauser's general demeanor and the "finish what happened two years ago" talk, this does not feel like a fight that Krauser wants to walk away from, whether or not he kills Leon. If OG Krauser killed Leon, he planned to bag him up and present him to Wesker like a trophy. If remake Krauser did... like, what's he going to do? Can you possibly picture him washing his hands of his blood and going back to work for Saddler? Because I sure can't. (I have a much longer meta piece in mind for this point... like I want to dissect the remake Krauser boss fight and his motivations therein at some point. Let me know if this sounds interesting.)

Remake Leon absolutely does not want to fight Krauser. Krauser forces every single encounter the two of them have. Even though Leon says "you won't get away with this" after Luis' death, he has absolutely no desire nor intention to hurt or kill Krauser back. He asks, over and over, if Krauser is "sure about this" and tries to talk sense into him. He is ready to straight up run away from the boss fight the first chance he gets.

I could probably write a whole other essay on Krauser's final moments and Leon stabbing him, which was one of the most shocking and powerful moments of the remake for me for several reasons. Like... god damn. Did anybody else think Leon was going to do the whole "I'm not like you and I won't do it" thing? (Though arguably it was more heroic/merciful/kind of Leon to put Krauser out of his misery here. Krauser clearly wanted it!!)

I was going to go to Capcom and chain myself to the doors in protest if they put the dumb stupid Krauser boss fight redux in Separate Ways after THAT absolutely poetic ending for him. Glad they didn't. Glad they actually showed Wesker picking up his corpse this time rather than handwaving it offscreen years after the fact.

If somebody has a heterosexual explanation for that picture of Leon in Krauser's tent, I'd certainly like to hear it. Because... bruh.

Well that felt extremely disjointed and pointless... But I hope it was useful or at least gave you some delicious food to feast on? (Or other ideas to interrogate me about, lmao.) Krauser is my favorite RE villain. For OG Krauser it was mostly for comedy reasons, but I am absolutely delighted that the remake gave him some real genuine pathos and a really compelling relationship with Leon.

Anyway, tl;dr metaltango, OG or remake: I ship it and I think it would be hot if they banged.

[coffincestuous]

i’ve been super busy this month so i’m about (checks date) 15 days late to the progress report, but…

kit9 progress report #4!!

we have these two images to start us off!!

before i get to leyley’s dialogue here, i want to say that i love the inside of wherever this is. is this part of the abandoned factory? is this just somewhere they found? i also see a hammer that stands out, and a particular door that’s boarded up. break in!!!

i wonder if this is a genuinely flashback or a dream sequence? if it’s a dream, whose? we’ve seen both andrew and ashley have dreams about their past (ashley when the game starts episode one, and andrew when he falls asleep at their parents’ house), and from the devlogs, we know that we’re going to see a whole lot more of their past with the next update!! so, i wonder who this moment is important to?

anyway. leyley suggesting they start a shooting spree in a church is very in-character for her. i don’t think i have to ask how she got there or why, because she’s just kind of… like that. we see that same behavior when they’re going back to the hotel room to lure the cultist out:

she’s so silly. my favorite problem girl.

the second image we have is this:

ashley is in some cultist’s apartment? house? …where’s andrew? did they break in? probably not, considering the ritual on the floor being up and ready to go. is andrew around, or is it just ashley here? was she invited? did she invite herself? did they attend another cultist event??

the rune on the floor here is different from the runes we’ve seen previously!! the one in the first cultist’s house is your standard pentagram with five smaller pentagrams around it. the second one, at the cultist party, is also a pentagram with five smaller pentagrams around it (but it looks better than the first one).

welcome to “how to summon a demon 101” with ashley graves!

i assume ashley made some kind of snarky comment to provoke the cultist into identifying her boyfriend. it’d be really funny if she asked if the guy was their brother. really funny

finally, we have A VIDEO!!!!!

hoooooly shit!!!! teenage andrew!!!!! teenage julia!!!! it’s great to see they haven’t grown out of their emo fashion.

julia’s so CUTE!!!!! it’s very sweet of her to reach out to andrew!! we know that andrew’s not the type to give a shit (internally) about rumors, but julia doesn’t know that. it’s very nice that she went out of her way to reassure him!!

it’s very surprising that andrew is the one who ultimately kickstarted their relationship. julia probably wasn’t going to say anything to him about her crush despite it being super super obvious. she’s very nervous and flustered in this scene!! the rumors surrounding him and ashley, regardless of truth, must have been harmful enough that he felt like he needed to step in to dispell them. andrew and his reputation… his care for ashley…

i love how we can see ashley’s interpretation of things and compare it to andrew’s interpretation of things. ashley’s view of the world is so skewed by her fears of abandonment and not being enough. she’s terrified of losing andrew, so anyone getting close to him is a threat that needs to be dealt with. but, andrew doesn’t have that same insecurity. he knows where he stands with ashley, he knows that no one can replace him in her life, and she can’t be replaced in his.

i’m so glad we get to see more of julia!! i know the game is titled the coffin of andy and leyley, but she’s important to the narrative!! she’s one of the few people to witness ashley’s full anger!! she was friends with nina!! she has seen how andrew acted when ashley wanted something!! i didn’t want to leave her in episode one…

it’s unfortunate that the next episodes will be delayed due to editor limitations, but that means that the game has so much content and i’m so exited to play it upon release!!!