#this is just me ranting but i apologize for nothing
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P.AI.nter is SUCH an interesting character to me... he's probably become one of my all time favorites, as I haven't fixated on a character this hard since since...TMC. It physically hurts to think about it in the best way possible-
That being said, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS to say about 'em... so I'm going to dump them here.
First and formost, it's so interesting that P.AI.nter has such a wide array of emotions when it comes to attacking and interacting with the Expendables. At first it's strange, like "WTF?? You're trying to kill me and you just yelled how I was boring, wdym you're sorry??" But... knowing his lore and backstory, it makes so much sense.
P.AI.nters creator was gunned down on accident by Urbanshade, which upon the discovery of P.AI.nter, then decided to trap him in a harddrive and make it mine whats essenically crypto at the Hadal Site- For years, it's stuck mining for the company unwillingly, unable to draw the lanscapes it loved. For fucks sake, P.AI.nter tried to FRY HIS CIRCUTS just to get out. He's desprate, miserable and lonely, and just wants to escape- Any way possible.
And so when Sebastian comes reeks his havoc on the site and finds it, P.AI.nter is incredibly trusting of him to get them both out. Maybe alittle too trusting, but whats he got left to loose? They've both been used by the company and want nothing more to leave, leave and never return. So when Sebastian connects it to the servers- to the Navi-Path & Turrets and tells him to stop the Expendables, P.AI.nter does.
However.
This is self preservation down here. P.AI.nter of course, is rightfully angry at times. I mean- The same company that killed it's creator before his very (nonexistant) eyes, trapped it down here, and even sucked the joy he has from creating art away is now actively getting in the way of the freedom he yearns for. But at the same time... this isn't something done that it entirely wants to be doing. Like I said. This is self preservation. And his actions, and even your deaths weigh heavy. Theres a voiceline, and its delievered so well- Of P.AI.nter pleading for the player to wake up and apologizing profusely if it kills you.
That line sparked this whole theory in the first place.
Your death, reminds it of his creator.
Isn't it ironic how it's now manning the very same weapon that killed the one who brought him sentience in the first place? That he's now the one at fault? Thats gotta be on the back of his mind each and every time it leads an expendable to their demise.
This isn't personal.
He doesn't know who you are.
But it still hurts.
It really annoys me when people in the community call P.AI.nter two faced, or god forbid, do the shitty thing of saying in a derogatory manner that he's bipolar or such as a "joke". Thats just disrespectful to both the character and folks who do have it. It's just plain rude. People do something similar for Sebastian, saying that oh, they're ruining his character by making him mean and snarky and whatnot. I know this happens in every fandom out there, and that this rant is fruitless, but... people need to understand that characters like P.AI.nter and Sebastian have reasons behind their actions and have existing trauma that if you take a moment to look at, you can go "Wowie! Thats a complex character! Everything makes so much sense now, like a puzzle peice I can see traces of in their character in almost every aspect!" Rather than doing awful things like I brought up at the start. But... I digress. I know this rant wont change much so. I hope y'all enjoyed my mini character analysis
Anyway this video has all of P.AI.nters voicelines if 'ya wanna go have a listen after this :] also I got plenty more thoughts about P.AI.nter and Sebastian if anyone wants to know!
youtube
#pressure#roblox pressure#p.ai.nter pressure#P.ai.nter#Rant#character analysis#sebastian solace#<- ? I guess because the rant mentioned him lol but.#Youtube
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Do you know how one deals with the anger that comes from living as a disabled person? I'm furious at how I've been treated, I'm furious at how my disabled siblings are treated. I can't let it out because who would listen? But I also can't let it simmer inside me and rot me from the inside.
How do you survive this? How do we survive this?
Sometimes (when I'm the only human in the house), I just scream a string of obscenities with my full lung power (and apologize to the cat).
Then, I take several deep breaths, remind myself that giving into despair does nothing but fit into the worst of the Bastards' narratives about us. Finally, come onto Tumblr, and post a rant about it, hoping that it gets reblogs, and not just a string of likes.
(*cough* hint *cough*).
But yeah. It sucks. The very same lived experience that gives us an authoritative voice on these topics is what people use as an excuse to ignore us as "too biased." The worst part is witnessing someone in your IRL circle, suffering abuse that isn't even recognized as abuse, because it's an official bureaucratic "policy." And then, not having any way to advocate for that person, because you don't have any legally recognized family or professional connection to them.
There's really not enough awareness (or even much language) around what I've come to call "bystander trauma." I mean, I had a very supportive set of parents (especially my mother) who advocated very loudly for my rights. So by some accounts I had a great childhood. But then, I also was a kid who went to a special summer camp, and got to see what it was like for those disabled kids whose parents didn't Question Authority. They'd be sitting right next to me in the camp's dining hall, and I could see how the camp counselors talked about them and over them more than they ever talked with them. And what could I, a fellow eleven-year old, do about it?
#life with a disability#sometimes I AM a “bitter cripple”#But not for the reason the Bastards think#bystander trauma
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also shannon keene........
Not sure what exactly you were referring to with this anon but I’ll take this as an opportunity to go on a rant about Shannon and her place in this story because man, I have so many feelings about her. They introduce us to her as a deeply flawed mother, an addict who abandons her son for long periods of time without any means to care for himself, who parades strings of sleazy men through the house where her child sleeps, who lets her son drop out of school and turn to a life a crime just to pay the bills. And I’m not absolving her of her responsibility for these things. But when she was introduced in this show, to me more than anything else this all felt like a condemnation of Johnny’s absence. Like, look at what happened to Shannon. Look at how Robby was forced to grow up. How different things could have been if Johnny had been there, for either of them, at all.
But then season 5 comes along and we have Shannon apologize to Johnny. He says he’s sorry for not being there and Shannon brushes him off, says she’s sorry too, they were both young and dumb and didn’t know any better. Except Johnny was 35 years old when Robby was born, and Shannon was what…19? 20? 23 at the very oldest. And she didn’t get to be young and dumb. She didn’t have the choice to walk away, to just not be there at all.
And I think all the time about that line Robby says to Tory, how his mom used to be a dancer. Like, when do we think Shannon stopped dancing? When she met Johnny? When she got pregnant? When she gave birth? When Robby was a kid? Was she an addict before Johnny came into her life, or did that only come after? Did Johnny know from the outset what kind of person he was abandoning his son with, or was it something he discovered over the years and just did nothing about? When did she start engaging in survival sex—because that’s what that was—to pay the bills?
And even more than that—what was their relationship like to begin with? Was it a one night stand? A casual on and off hookup? A serious relationship? How did they meet? When she found out she was pregnant, what was Johnny’s reaction? What was hers? Did she want an abortion, and Johnny convinced her not to? Did he want an abortion, and Shannon refused? Was it too late for that by the time she found out? Did Johnny promise to be there, to be involved? Did Shannon think she was giving birth to a kid who would have two loving parents, or did she already know he was doomed from the minute she saw the positive test? How did she feel about all of it?
And ultimately none of these questions will be answered or even matter, because it’s not her story it’s Johnny’s. And I guess that was always the point. She was an object to him then, an object to him now, and nothing but an object to the narrative. But still. I think about her.
#shannon is a terrible mother. there is no doubt about that#but man if they had actually explored johnnys culpability in that#not use her as an excuse for johnny’s actions but as a ramification of them#if they had actually allowed johnny to be reddemed for the lives his irresponsibility ruined#what a show this could have been#but instead we get…’johnny just needed someone to need him’#as if shannon hasnt spent the last 16 years needing him. as if robby hasnt spent his entire life needing him. as if neither one of them#matter at all#shannon keene#asks#anonymous#cobra kai
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how are you doing after the last 3 episodes of arcane
full spoilers for act 3 , long rant ahead ( sorry ദ്ദി (ᵒ̴̶̷᷄﹏ᵒ̴̶̷᷅) ). apologies if this is incoherent i ended up pulling an all nighter to watch act 3 and have had a busy few couple of days so i am a very gleeby little maddie atm..
i'm mostly upset and angry about it because it was just handled so poorly... like it was genuinely so ( ._. )"" i've talked about it elsewhere but i don't even really know what to say. i'm so upset about the way they sidelined the important character arcs and actual plot for timebomb sillies and a goofy over the top mel arc that was extremely rushed and didn't even bring the closure it was meant to about her dad and all of that. also 90% of the act being jayvik and it completely ignoring isha , sevika , and for the most part jinx , caitlyn , and vi... it's so disheartening i'm honestly not taking it well i feel just sort of upset and overall down. arcane has meant so much to me and it feels like all of the characters who i love so much just didn't even matter like i went on this journey with them all for nothing. there's so much more i could and would like to say but this is already getting long and i just feel an overwhelming amount of negative emotions at the moment. i'm going to continue making content for arcane ( mostly focusing around maddie , maddiecait , and maddiecaitvi because autism goes crazy ) but i might need a day or two to gather my thoughts and process everything. this act was super disappointing in every way. like i love mel and for the whole rest of the season was curious about her arc but it went from 0 to 100 so fast and was so campy it just didn't even feel like arcane. i think it's so insane that sevika didn't even speak once and that isha wasn't even mentioned like i just can't get past that. also they rushed caitvi's relationship so badly like we needed to see caitlyn's arc fully wrapped up with her coming to terms with all that she'd done , taking responsibility and apologizing to vi. we didn't get any of that though which is baffling to me..... also the implication of vi being a cop , sevika being on the council , vi just brushing over jinx's death ? it's so out of character. also with maddie , i have mixed feelings. i was hoping she'd do something big and i think i can definitely get behind the idea of her being a spy but it just doesn't line up with what was shown onscreen ? it felt like a major copout idk. i have many maddiecait and maddiecaitvi thoughts that i'll post on my main having to do with it but i'm just REALLY wishing we got to see more of maddie behind the scenes and that she got to be more fleshed out onscreen and not just through implications. like i like timebomb they're cute and all but episode 7 just felt so pointless and wasted like we could've used that time to actually be able to flesh out maddie or focus more on caitlyn / caitvi or on jinx and isha. i just don't see the point at all of that episode and i can't get past them just pretending isha never existed in favor of having a cute little timebomb au episode. : \
#ೀ maddie's .ೃ࿔*:・#ೀ askies .ೃ࿔*:・#arcane#arcane act 3#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane season 2#caitvi#maddie arcane#maddie nolen#maddiecait#maddiecaitvi#isha arcane#sevika#vi#jinx#caitlyn kiramman
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I remember how your hands felt on mine
☆ : hai guys this is my first tumblr post (idk how to use this app) english isnt my first language so i apologize for any grammar mistakes n my overuse of commas :’) was originally gonna be a nanami oneshot but i switched it in the middle of writing
characters: toji fushiguro (jjk) x gn!reader
warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, reader’s kinda an ass but so is toji, reader’s in denial half of the time ngl, rushed, not proofread :(
author’s note: its slightly inspired by i remember how your hands felt on mine by Wisp bc i luv that song <3 go stream!!
word count: 1.2k (short bc i wrote it in an hour and its time to sleep)
the cold air gently brushed on your delicate skin, whispering soft hums into your ear. your feet kicked back and forth above the gloomy water, your reflection barely visible from the cloudy specks floating above the surface.
his raspy voice ringing in your head every time the cool wind breathes onto you.
“i’ll love you forever and always, okay? don’t forget that, honey,” is what he would remind you of no matter the day or situation.
the stupid promises were repetitive to say the least, but you couldn’t help but reminisce the days where he gently held you against his firm arms, cooing nothing but delightful words that sounded melodic.
you had known toji for years. from freshman year of high school to now, adulthood. adulthood was definitely one of the most terrifying things to ever exist, but toji would always be there by your side no matter what. he went through hell and back if it meant seeing your smile that imitated a ray of sunshine for just a split second, and not once did he feel an ounce of regret for it.
the first interaction felt as if it came fresh out of a corny romance movie. looking back on it, you realize how unusual you used to act, yet toji never minded. in fact he loved how much you would rant on and on about something silly you’ve suddenly started to hyper fixate over or how much you absolutely despised chemistry. whatever it was, he adored it. he adored you.
now, what did go wrong in your relationship? was it the fact that you felt that he wasn’t emotionally mature enough or was it the fact that he thought you were never direct about how you felt about him? nobody knew the answer but you wish you did. he wishes he did.
“what the fuck? why would you just pour all of that onto me all at once? didn’t even give me some time to process, damn.” a condescending tone and a rough hand covering his face, he was insanely frustrated with you. you never meant for it to escalate, but it wasn’t really your fault he couldn’t handle this, right?
“it’s not my fault you’re never aware about how i feel,” you retorted, a frown on your face which was unusual knowing the fact you never frowned. seeing the way the corners of your lips turned down made toji uncomfortable.
“how am i supposed to know if you won’t give me shit? you lock yourself away in hopes of me getting the idea about how you feel.” toji groaned. it was getting harder to contain himself, but it was definitely frustrating that you were acting this way. you almost never did, and that’s what was so off about the situation.
“maybe read the room better? it’s not my fault you’re so fucking dense all of the time for no reason. it’s almost like you’d choose money over me.” you sneered as your body felt like it was burning up, temperature quickly rising as you struggled to keep yourself together. “i bet you spend all of that money on your side chicks, hm?” it was completely out of anger and you were basically speaking on autopilot at this point. it was hard to figure out what to say especially in the heat of the moment.
however, toji was infuriated at this point, unable to concentrate as he basically stared you down. his fists clenched, dull nails digging into his calloused hands with his knuckles turning snowy white. “the fuck? why the fuck would you say that? you’re actually so immature. i don’t know why you would think that in the first place, but maybe you’re right.” he scoffed, an unamused look on his face. “it’d be crazy if i just admitted i had a side chick or two, huh?”
“what?” it took you a while to fully process all of that, and it wasn’t great at all. “did you just admit to fucking other girls? holy shit, you’re a fucking whore!” you cried out, hand raising as it came in harsh contact with his cheek.
a red sting stained the feeling of his cheek, his eyes widening as he realized what came out of his mouth and it was stupid.
“wait, darling no.” he gently grabbed up by the shoulders, noticing the way your eyes glistened up. “sweetheart, it was just in the moment. i swear i didn’t mean it and i would never cheat on you.” he spoke rapidly in hopes of you believing whatever bullshit came out of his mouth.
a voice interrupted the continuation of your thoughts, the feeling of the wind once brushing against your skin. you didn't even realize the puny tear falling from your eye, sliding down your cheek.
you quickly wipe it away, warily turning around to locate the familiar voice hidden by the whispers of the wind. it was him, wasn’t it? you were unsure whether or not you wanted to see him in this very moment as uninvited memories swam back.
you felt the weight of a large hand covering your shoulder, its thumb gently caressing your skin. “hey, what’re you doing here?” toji spoke softly yet loud enough to penetrate the sound of the wind.
“nothing. what about you, why are you here?” you mumble, responding with a hint of hesitation present in your voice.
“missed you, that’s all.” he gently pecked your cheek without a request and he knows he doesn’t have to ask for permission from you. you’d allow it anytime.
“liar, don’t even.” you slowly pulled away, looking back down at the murky waters. “your ass cheated on me, i dont want you back.” huffing, the wind exposing your features that he absolutely loved.
he squished your cheek gently. “already told ya, i never did and will never want to.” he planted another kiss on your body, except this was on the top of your head.
“your ass admitted it, didn’t you? that’s why we broke up, you slut.” you sighed. you didn’t want to talk about any of this but he was definitely willing to after messing up horribly.
“no, baby, no.” toji sat next to you on the bench, grabbing your hand in his. “i know you won’t believe me, but it was all in the heat of the moment.”
“i genuinely didn’t mean to hurt you at all, please know that. i love you so much and saying those things was the biggest regret and mistake i’ve ever made in my life, and i hate making mistakes especially when it comes to you.” he confessed and you couldn’t lie, you wanted to believe it. and you did.
you noticed the sincerity in his voice, the look of love in his eyes. eyes that were meant for you and only you.
you would’ve never expected for him to own up to his mistakes, but you needed to as well. he wasn’t all at fault, especially when you instigated the argument in the beginning. pride was swallowing you whole, and you didn’t want to ruin the moment at all.
you let it swallow you but also let the warmth of his body engulf you. you missed this. you missed him.
“it’s okay, hun. i forgive you.” you spoke gently, forgiveness was all toji needed. he didn’t even care for the fact that you were at fault. all that mattered was you. just you.
you’ll apologize soon, but you needed him right now. not even the frosty wind and the aroma of seawater could ruin this moment.
☆ rlly rushed ending so sorry!! ill do better :’(
#jjk angst#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#angst#fluff#jjk fluff#gn reader
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Just ranting about something that's been bothering me for yearsss
So I've mentioned my friend before. Ima call her bestie bc that's what she calls me.
I've known bestie for years.. about 7 I think? I met her when I was forced out of my normal lunch table. The most open table was hers. She started talking to me after r few days of this happening.
Bestie and I were friends. She said we were, and I needed friends. Her behavior was far too much for my shy demeanor. She's neurodivergent, and she has no filter. I'd be scared to be associated with her because of how commonly she said things I would never dare whisper. That was mostly a me issue though.
Sometimes I enjoy her company, sometimes I wish she would leave me alone. Being older now, I have a lot more confidence, I've found it easier to tell her off. She still has no filter.
I've found good friends in my high school years. People who i don't feel cautious around, people who is don't get mad at. People i don't have to hush and keep out of trouble. I feel less like me and bestie are friends, let alone BFFs.
She frustrates me, pokes fun at me, and judges me. I'm not supposed to be mad at her, she can't help it. How terrible would i be to leave her or tell her to stop?
We sit together at lunch as of now, we might not soon due to changing schedules. But she's been leaning into me and grabbing my arm for warmth. And I don't like it. I do my best to show my displeasure, encouraging her to let go as I scroll my phone, but really I'm staring into space and freaking out. She lets go eventually, she's not bad or anything. But it upsets me. She's been stealing my food, making me have to be defensive. Earlier this week I was looking forward to eating a rip banana for once, i told her and she grabbed it, I gently pulled it back, not wanting to damage it or anything and she squeezed it, ruining half the banana. After giggling for a while, she apologized. But she's just been pushing boundaries more.
We were walking down the hallway, and i bumped into her a bit instead of another student, I apologized and she started to pretty much shove me with her entire body weight. I didn't want to be shoved into something or someone, so i purposely shoved her back a bit, which apparently was to much for her. She stopped for the moment but would continue to push me and joke about it for the next few days
Everyone thinks she's my best friend, and I can't just leave her. She has had a lot of rough things happen to her. And she's going through some stuff. I think atleast, she's hard to read.
It's just so conflicting. By nature she's not the easiest person to get along with, but she has a valid excuse in my mind. So i feel it's wrong to dislike her most of the time.
Anyways, that's the yap. Nothing horrendous.
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Here’s a fun question Catradora as parents to Finn, strengths and weaknesses
to be quite honest, and i’d hate to be a disappointment, i find this even more difficult to answer than the last. i say that because i am childfree and my autism does not allow me to handle being around kids very well. additionally, i only tend to be good at ranting about topics that i can heavily relate to and/or am very interested & hyperfixated in, and i’ve just never participated in the duetercanonical part of the fandom that includes finn post-war (nothing against y’all!). i like them as a concept and totally vibe with their design as a nonbinary person myself, but i’ve never thought about adding more depth to their character and how that affects catradora’s relationship.
i apologize for not wanting to take this ask, but anyone else is absolutely free to instead if they wish!
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New Age AU (Error's Wacky Wild Plan)
Hi guys. So. Crazy Story. The crisis that stopped me from working on my banner art actually catapulted me into writing this drabble finally! (Also the wonderful @ancha-aus was also a life-saver and helped me hammer out a few plot points for this installment <3)
Currently my only context for this drabble is that Error is tiny, and ran away from home because Geno moved to Reaper's kingdom to make money to send back home, and Fresh spent too long away on his trip. Error was expelled from his magic academy and came home to an empty house, so he left! Now he's been on the road for about a month? Nightmare has been ruling for about 6-ish years now, almost 7.
(Hello @mutzelputz and @papiliovolens hi guys!!!)
The town was bustling.
Error had been through a lot of towns since he’d left. Big ones, small ones, ones he was convinced weren’t even towns at all, just a few barns in a general closeness to one another who decided they needed to call themselves something besides the outskirts. Those people had been particularly hostile to his passing through.
And, lately, they’d been really weird. People staring at him when he’d walk on the streets, or pass by shops. When they saw he had money from a different kingdom (he didn’t even realize he’d left his own, but he figured it meant he was on the right path) they’d squeeze their faces like they bit a lemon and hastily take his coin. Like it was cursed, or something. They were lucky it wasn’t cursed, honestly. He could probably figure out how to do that.
This town, though, was filled so full with people that he imagined they couldn’t look at him weird if they wanted to.
People were riding horses, chatting in the streets, all sorts of stalls and merchants were peddling goods, and he was almost positive he could hear music lifting down the street over the general drone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d run into a place so busy. He’d always been told to stick to the side, out of the way, out of danger.
He didn’t have to listen to that anymore. Though, he did skirt the crowds. The mass of people seemed all too willing to bump shoulders or elbows with each other in the early morning sun, and the last thing he wanted was to have his magic act up in a crowd. He’d done well so far.
Every booth, every merchant, every passerby seemed jubilant, ebbing and flowing. It was like some sort of party.
That was, until, Error spotted it.
A big building, something that Error recognized only vaguely.
It was an amphitheatre.
Geno had taken him to see one once. Or, at least, the ruin of one. It hadn’t been too far from their home, and it was pretty abandoned and lonely. Plants had crawled up its walls, stones had fallen off in chunks, animals seemed to have deemed its high windows a perfect spot to build nests. It had been breathtaking, and ancient.
This one? Seemed perfectly in-use.
The walls were all in-tact, stones, an easy to look at grey, smooth and covered in little intricate carvings. Spells, he had to imagine, in some language he didn’t know. Curtains hung over the huge arched entrances, and heavy gates seemed to be lifted, the spikes at the base loomed over the heads of every passerby.
He couldn’t help but marvel. Was this a restoration, or maybe it was new. Some sort of imitation. Regardless, he found that his feet carried him to one of the entrances, which stood largely empty aside from some folks who looked strikingly like guards.
Two of them stood, long spears in-hand. They both stood stock still as Error approached, and didn’t move a muscle as he passed them. They were strange, definitely different. Not at all the town guard he was familiar with.
The inside of the theatre was even more impressive. Rows and rows of stands seemed to line up either side. Huge tapestry hung from the high arches past those seats, and down the runways of the bleachers, all a bright teal and dark navy blue. They seemed fancy, and much newer than the curtains which had hung in the entrance.
Beyond the walkway where he stood, was a set of stairs which led down a level or so, before it leveled out into an open space. Sandy, and very flat. It seemed like there were people there, too. A much smaller crowd, but still a crowd nonetheless.
Error was almost amazed he’d not been stopped by someone yet. Whatever was going on seemed important, and so far in his experience, people did not like him sticking his nose into important business.
With that in mind, he decided he’d stick to the entryway for now. He leaned his bag up against the wall and watched from a position where the sun still shadowed his form. He was often grateful for his miscolored bones. It made hiding in the dark a whole lot easier.
It took a bit for him to really process what he was watching in the morning light.
There were four people sat on a sort of raised box toward the front of a stage. A huge stage, raised up off the sand with wood slats. They had a long-table before them, and quills and ink jars in-hand. Well, three were sitting. One was standing. But the point is, they were all watching the stage very attentively.
On-stage there was… basically nothing. Only a simple backdrop Error had to imagine was there at all times, because it looked like it was coated in sand, even from the distance where he stood.
A person would enter the stage, the people sat on the box would speak to them, and then there was a flare of magic. Another. Another. And then they were dismissed.
It wasn’t until he really bothered to think about what magic was being cast that he realized those were extremely simple spells being used. Levitate, Create Water, Mimicry. Or Flame, Gust, Light. All just three easy spells, and then they were off-stage. That was taught magic. It gave him memories of his entrance exam to his school. He’d been way overqualified to get in, Geno taught him after all…
But, no, this didn’t feel the same. There were plenty of people who seemed to stumble at spells they didn’t recognize, or who couldn’t muster a simple breeze. Then others who were very old and obviously skilled. Obviously they found the three spells to be child’s play. Like Error would. This was no entrance exam, so what-
“Hey, pipsqueak, what are you doing there in the dark?” A voice startled him, and it took all of his willpower to avoid jumping away from its origin.
Error twisted rapidly, just in time to avoid the thrust of an elbow in his direction.
There was a monster there. Three, actually. Two lizards, both bright green and tropical, and one who looked more like a dragon. The green one closer to him must have spoken, because he laughed at Error’s flinch.
“Why are you bothering me?” Error shot back haughtily.
The lizard seemed to grin at the response.
“Oh, so we’ve got a feisty little small fry here? Thinks he’s scoping out the competition?” The dragonish one hissed, voice deep.
The other green one tittered a giggle, “So cute! I can’t believe the King really decided to let just anyone try out for Royal Mage.”
Oh…
The lizard before him seemed to take this silence as a weakness, and reached out quicker than Error could react. A flick to the middle of his forehead.
Error winced and pulled away, back and into the arena. He grit his teeth and clutched his skull, where at the same moment the lizard jumped back and shook their hand in the air a bit. His magic had reacted poorly again, and while it was better than it used to be, it still stung like 5 wasps touching down and stinging the same point all at once.
“Little freak.” Was all the monster hissed, before he fled. His two friends moving on behind him in confusion. Approaching the line to the stage.
Error stood there in the sun for a moment, rubbing at his forehead until the pain was more of a numb static.
If anything, he appreciated the little run-in with those wanna-bes. Now he knew exactly what this was, and why it had felt so familiar to him.
The Mage Trials.
Geno had to go through them, and he’s been very thorough about his every single detail while doing it. Even though he was the best mage Error had ever known, he’d still stressed and wrote page after page of plans and spells and had placed them into a folder that felt thicker than an encyclopedia. Geno had always been the only one of them who bothered studying. Fresh couldn’t go to school anymore, and Error… Well, Error didn’t need to.
Thinking about it, Geno had been very quiet about it, but Error had looked into his folder a few times. Just out of curiosity. It’d been split into three rounds, something Geno had said was standardized. The first was a test of someone’s basic magic skills, the second were more complex spells which the mage has practice in, and the third, the one that had given Geno the most grief, was the personal spell round. In the last one, there were no restrictions to what someone could do, so long as they had done the work themselves, and that it mostly used magic.
If he was right, and he usually was, then this was the first round. Eliminating those with nothing but a hope and a prayer in their pocket before they got embarrassed before the one looking for the Mage in the first place. In this case, whoever this kingdom’s king even was.
In just a few moments, Error had decided.
This was how he’d prove himself.
The line was already starting to get longer, and he didn’t want to be here until nightfall in a queue. He dusted off his scarf, his shoes, his bag, and set off into the bright sun to secure his place in this contest. No prep. No warning. Just with his raw skill and what he’d learned so far. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
.
Finally.
Error felt like it had been hours in the warm sun before he was finally up next.
He’d been watching, of course. Watching as the people before him were passed or failed. It was just as he’d expected, and he couldn’t help but be a bit giddy as the two green lizard who’d bothered him earlier both failed. Though their dragonish friend had passed, it was still enough of a victory for him.
Along with that, he noticed that the three people sat were all in robes of nobles. Something the wealthy and lofty would think to wear in a blazing hot arena all day. The one standing, though, was wearing all black. A hood was over his head, but Error thought he might be some sort of cat-monster. Very stone faced, very still. The only time Error had seen him move was seemingly to veto whatever choice the other three were making. He thought it was interesting.
That didn’t matter, though.
Based on what he’d seen, these people wouldn’t have any qualms with his magic. He was much better than half the people who’d already been passed, and knew he could keep him calm up on the stage. It’d be just like his entrance exam.
He watched as the monster who’d gone before him, a skeleton who was twice his height and twice as animal-ish, bowed gratefully to the people on the boxes, the evaluators, and exited. She’d passed fairly easily, Error thought. Though, her focus seemed elsewhere based on how shaky the hold on her last flame had been.
“Next!”
The call was shrill, and Error had heard it over a hundred times already today, but this time it bounced in his ears as he lifted himself up the steps and strode onstage.
If he’d thought about it, he would’ve tried to find a place to stache his bag, but it was too late for that, and frankly he didn’t trust it not to get stolen once it was out of his sight. Not with how busy the city seemed.
When he was stood in the center of the stage, he looked out across the way to the evaluators. They seemed closer up here than they did when he was on the ground. Interesting.
“First spell,” The person on the far left called, though Error could tell now that it was a voice projection spell. So they didn’t strain their vocal chords, “ Levitate.”
That was simple. One of the first spells he’d been taught as a kid.
His eyes skimmed briefly, there had been a few props on stage that he only noticed once he was closer that were meant to be used with this sort of spell, but Error wasn’t for that. Instead, he muttered the words under his breath, outstretched a hand, and felt his magic reach out around him. Beyond the stage.
There… There was a barrier of some sorts, pushing back against his magic, between himself and the evaluators. He furrowed his brow and urged his magic forward. He didn’t have to break through it. He just. Had to- His magic felt like it was looping and wriggling like a worm through the dirt, but when it broke through on the other end, it felt so much more clear. He could feel a potent magic there, something raw and wet, like the air before a storm.
That didn’t matter, though. None of it did, because he was on a mission. His magic finally found its target, the stacks of ink bottles which the middle evaluator had just before their parchment. The magic latched on, and Error finally allowed himself a grin as he tugged his hand upwards. They floated calmly into the air, three of them, and did a quick spinning motion, before settling back down just where he’d found them.
He didn’t catch the looks on the threes faces, but he had to imagine they were priceless. He was more focused on letting the spell dissipate and preparing for the next.
It took a moment, before, “Second Spell,” They said, “Create Water.”
Another easy one.
Error held his hand out again, though this time his palm faced the sky rather than the ground. At the mutter of his words, he could feel the water manifesting. Tiny droplets leaking from his fingers and into the air above his open palm, where he let it gather into a nice, easy sphere.
It hovered, and for this one he could see the nods from the three evaluators. The fourth, the cat monster, didn’t move an inch. A good sign.
Error, after a breath, moved the orb of water and simply set it on the stage floor. If he had to release it, he didn’t exactly want to get his clothes wet. That orb tended to shoot outwards when he released it, and the water would go everywhere.
“Third spell,” They must’ve been contented with his simply setting down the water, for they continued, “Flame.”
Ah, one of his favorites. He was never very good at it, of course, but it was certainly very fun. If nothing else it’d be a taste of his raw power.
He rolled up his hanging sleeves, quickly using strands of string to wrap them in place, before he picked back up the water orb in one hand. With the other, he faced his palm toward the side of it, and spoke the words for the flame spell.
The heat gathered in his wrist, and all at once shot out of his palm, like a cannon blast. The heat was intense, and Error laughed quietly to himself in pure elation as the fire did exactly what he was hoping. All at once, his glasses fogged, and a burst of steam blew past his face, off to the exiting side of the stage. He’d evaporated his orb, no longer needing to risk someone seeing him fumble with it and soak himself.
He let the fire die after a few second, and quickly grabbed the hem of his scarf to wipe down his glasses from the fog left behind on their surface.
The moment the red rims were back on the bridge of his nose, the voice spoke up again.
“Name?”
Error cleared his throat, before calling back his name in response. Just the first one, the last one didn’t matter anymore.
There was another few breaths of quiet, before,
“Age?”
Error hadn’t heard them ask anyone else for their age, but he figured they’d noticed. How strong and talented he was at such a young age.
He puffed up his chest when he announced, “Twelve!” to the arena.
There were a few muffled murmurs from the line, but Error was too busy grinning across the way at the evaluators as they seemed to talk amongst themselves.
He was ready to hear the word that would mark him to continue. The next part was tomorrow, after this round was concluded and the king arrived. He’d heard about it in the line while he was waiting.
One of the evaluators lifted their gaze back to him. Opened their mouth.
“Disqualified.”
That.
Huh?
Error must’ve visibly glitched at the response, because one of the evaluators seemed to flinch. Ever so slightly.
“How come?!” Error called back, reservations immediately fleeing his mind.
How could they disqualify him? He hadn’t heard them do that to literally anyone else so far today.
The evaluator on the far right spoke up, “Too young. Now please move off the-”
Error might’ve let his mouth speak before his mind, if he hadn’t seen the way the mysterious cat monster seemed to slink forward. A simple tap to the evaluator’s side and they stopped mid-sentence, attention drawing to the person.
He waited with balled fists. Hoping, against it all, that this person was using his mighty veto powers to get him his passing review.
“The Knight wishes to speak to you further.” They said, when the person, the Knight, took a step back. “Exit the stage.”
Mm.
This was his chance. This was his moment. He was being allowed to move on, he was sure of it. It had to be.
He practically scrambled off the stage and down the steps, and found that the Knight had closed the distance very quickly. He gestured silently for Error to follow him off to the side of the arena, seemingly outside of the voice spell’s range, as the noise of magic and calling for the next viewer seemed all muffled and contained.
Something Error noticed about the guy, now that he was right beside him walking along, was also that he wasn’t a cat monster. No, he had some sort of mask shaped like a cat. Black spots painted on black fur, with piercing white eyelights hidden in the darkness cast by his black hood. A cloth mask covered the lower half of his face, so Error would’ve had no idea what kind of monster he was, if he hadn’t left his hands uncovered. They were grey and grimy, but they were most certainly bones.
The other thing he noticed, was the magic. That damp, airy magic was no-doubt from this guy. It practically enveloped the both of them until they were stood in the shade of the wall separating bleachers from arena floor.
“You said you’re twelve?” He finally asked, shifting on his feet to look at Error.
The last thing he noticed, which only happened once he was able to look past the aura, was that. Well. He was a bit taller than this guy. Not by much, but there was certainly something stark about having to look a bit downwards to meet his eyelights.
“Yes, I am.” He claimed proudly, still convinced this was to be his ride to the top.
The knight seemed to skim him with his eyes. Surely taking in Error’s clothes, his bag, his glasses, the weird bones. Though, it didn’t feel pervasive.
“Impressively strong for a kid,” He praised loosely, “And probably talented in spells if the nerds were any indication.”
His voice was quiet and raspy, but Error had no problem listening to it. This strong and very cool guy who was called a ‘knight’ was praising him. This was much better than getting yelled at by his professors. Much.
“Does that mean I passed?” He asked impatiently.
He needed this. He needed this.
The guy’s eyelights lingered on his face a bit, and it was then that Error finally noticed how virtually unreadable this guy was. Impossibly quiet, posture unmoving, all facial features shrouded in shadow and covered by masks?
“I’m not sure what kingdom you’re from, but you’ve got to understand that the folks up there didn’t say no because you’re bad. They said no because the king made a new decree. “No soul under the age of 16 shall be put to work under the crown.” They’ve gotta take it seriously, just like everyone else has to follow the new rules about their own shops and businesses.” He said evenly, eyelights never leaving Error’s face. “You’re a couple years too early is all.”
It felt like he’d been shoved into a ditch, and he could already feel his right hand starting to tremble with the beginnings of a glitch. He was furious! How could they possibly say no to him because of some stupid rule about his age?
“No!” He exclaimed, trying to bite back the distortion on his voice, “I’m not going to just walk away. If I could just move on to the next round, they’d see I’m different! I’m not some weak little baby!”
He clenched his fists, driving his jittering one forcefully into his pocket.
The knight didn’t even flinch at his declaration.
“They’ve already seen that.” He said easily. “Listen to me. Error, right?”
Error hesitantly nodded.
“Error, ‘m sure that if my Lord saw you in action, he too would agree that you are very strong and resourceful.” The knight said, and Error hated that it sounded earnest. “But, he set that law into place for very good reason. If by any means those folks back there were to let you through, to pass you, and you made it before the king next round? They’d have committed treason, and I’d have their souls on the end of my bone in three seconds flat.”
His voice was hard and serious, and Error held strong as a loud crack echoed out beside the knight. A bone raised from the ground, sharp and jagged on the end, absolutely radiating magic.
“Do you really want their blood on your conscience, just so that you get sent away by the King anyways?” The knight offered.
Error hunched his shoulders a bit, and he felt his static worsen as he let his eyes linger on the bone. Yes. He muttered inside his head. He wanted to scream it at the man before him. Tell him that this was his one golden chance to prove himself.
But to who? He would ask, and Error wouldn’t be able to say it. It’d be a wasted sentiment and wasted time and wasted lives just for his temper tantrum.
“...No.” He bit out meekly.
He stood there, feeling a familiar shame creep up his spine. The knight made no move to leave, though he did let his bone disappear. The ground looked untouched from where it had split out of. Just more sand. Sand that was getting into Error’s bones. That he’d have to clean out later. Swinging in his hammock, lonely and moping.
“Heh,” The chuckle was almost inaudible, and Error was almost ready to let his distress turn back into rage, but, “Better kid than I was.” The Knight mused into the open air.
He seemed to shift his stance again, and Error took a half step back.
“You’ve got your life ahead of you, kid. Don’t let this keep you down. Take the road less traveled by or whatever.” He said then, waving a hand loosely before him.
Error stared at him, trying to even his breath, before he had an idea.
“The other two rounds will be here, right?” He asked, voice still harshly stuttering and screeching. The Knight seemed unbothered.
“Yeah. Planning on sticking around to watch?” The knight questioned, though it felt more like a warning.
Error nodded in agreement without hesitation. “If these geezers can get the job, I need to see what kind of tricks they have up their sleeves.” He agreed.
That earned another little chuckle, before the knight looked back to the stage.
Up in the center was a new mage, a human who seemed to be making a pretty wild wind that was whipping the sand around, bothering the people in line behind him. Error heard the knight make a scoffing noise, before turning back towards the stage.
“Go hang around somewhere else for a while, why don’t you? I have to go make sure those nerds don’t pass that guy.”
Error didn’t even get to say a farewell before the Knight was off.
It seemed like every stride he teleported a bit further, building speed until he stopped cleanly up on the pedestal. Just in time for the sandstorm to die down.
Error didn’t want to walk away from this, he didn’t, but staying would only waste his time. It only took a few more seconds, to watch the knight nudge the evaluator and hear the muffled call of ‘fail’ ring out across the arena before he was turning tail and moving out of the sandy paradise, back into the bustle of the living city.
.
.
.
It was impossible to miss it. The sounds of celebration as the monarch entered the town.
Error could see the royal carriage from his perch, an old temple tower that had at some point lost its bell. It seemed untouched, birds nests and cobwebs, so he’d set up a hammock and a little makeshift shelter inside using his strings just before night fell.
He’d snatched some food from the town as dusk was setting in, and he’d been comfortably whittling away the dark hours, working hard on his plan.
With the King officially in town, that meant the second round would be starting up shortly, taking the numbers of who would be in the third round down by hundreds. He hoped the king was stingy about it. He hoped that dragonish monster would stumble on his spell and turn someone into a frog.
The thought humored him, and he cackled quietly to himself from his makeshift room.
The sun was high again, and he was only a part of the way through. His spells required a lot of his magic to be woven into them, and while it was much much faster than what he’d heard was the usual, it was still difficult to make.
Weaving the blue strings from his sockets, to his fingers, around his fingertips, and into the shapes he needed. It was monotonous, and boring by all accounts, but with every strand there was a new flow of power. A new pump of adrenaline into Error’s soul as he recognized his creation becoming more potent. Intent, intent, intent, every loop and knot was filled to the brim with it. His frustration sat at the core. Much more volatile and destructive than his usual intent, but it would serve him well if he wanted this plan to go well. Around it was his determination. The strings woven in with a sense of stubbornness which refused to let go, like a snake swallowing its prey whole. This would compress the first layer into a proper state. Let it coil and coil and coil until it burst. It’d be big, and loud, and send out that message he so desperately needed to be heard by the king.
Skipping the second round would probably hurt him in the long run, but… That knight had said he’d have to kill those people if he showed his face in round two. So, he’d just appear in round three instead, and make up for missing the second one. A final act, of sorts.
He’d have to be at this all day to make the time crunch. The orb was hardly as big as his palm, not nearly big enough. Though, he had wasted time making the shelter and finding food. He’d just have to skip a couple meals to make up for it. He didn’t really need to eat that much anyways, he’d known that for years. He just tried to make an effort when he smelled something tasty.
He knew he could manage.
It was late in the night when Error finally started on the outer layers. Those which would be filled with his patience, so that the potent insides would not be sensed as he moved with it among the many magic users.
The town had begun to line the streets with torches and party as the stars arrived. No doubt celebrating those who would be at the third and final round tomorrow. The ones who would be competing to become the new Royal Mage.
To Error? Every single moment down there was dedicated to him. They just didn’t know it yet.
.
.
.
The morning came, and Error only had a few more layers.
By the time the sun was almost in the center of the sky above, he had finished it, and carefully tucked it into his backpack. He unraveled the strings and carefully wrapped them, shaping them, changing them into a thin net with long ends. This was shoved into his jacket sleeve, the ends clutched tight in his hand.
It took him hardly any time at all to get to the arena, and he was early.
Good.
He settled himself up in the stands, as close to the stage as he could get. Many people seemed to be staying outside the arena, sticking to the streets, but there was still enough of a crowd in the bleachers that Error had to be careful as he worked his way along the edges. He needed to be closer. Closer…
There.
He stood at the railing behind the stage.
From here, he could see the line to the left, and he could see the people who had finished lingering on the other side. None of them spoke to each other, only standing about, icily, waiting for the rest to finish so they’d know which of them was chosen, and who was not. Error had to imagine that these folks were just as lame and boring as the seniors from his old academy. No fun at all.
He waited, so, so patiently, for the next few people. The last few.
Though he couldn’t see the spells themselves, he could certainly feel the pressure coming off of them. The control that they’d need to balance it. How much it might’ve drained their energy to do it just once. He was attuned to that sort of thing, he had to be.
His assessment was that all of these last few folks weren’t bad, but they were no match for Error’s raw talent.
Each spell cast seemed to tick away at Error’s patience, until it finally happened. The last mage went on-stage. It seemed there had been 15 of them.
He’d have to make 16, then.
It felt like a blur as he jumped the rails and let his strings carry him across the open space, much to the shock of the few who had been watching the competitors from around him. The blue lines snatched at the wooden supports of the stage, and he swung right over top, landing a bit messily in the center of the stage.
He didn’t have time to look at everything. All he knew was the crowd was much larger than last time, that there was a shout of ‘Hey!’’ from somewhere to his left, and that the box across from the stage now held only three people. Monsters. One Error recognized, the knight in shadows who’d spoken to him. The other two he didn’t know, but he had to assume the one in the middle, tall and imposing, and dark, with an eyelight the same colors as the tapestries, was the King he was looking to impress. That was all he needed to know.
“M’lord, my name is Error!” He called out across the sand, and in one motion he shrugged the bag off his shoulders and used his strings to tug the orb out of its canvas body. “I want to prove that I’m more capable than any of the adults who just went before me! I could be your mage!” He would be the mage.
The orb sat cradled in Error’s hand for only the briefest moment, before it was inside the little net he’d made. He swung it in circles. Again. Again. Again.
He had to be fast. He had to do this quick.
Error spent one last moment, extending his reach through his strings, muttering words and igniting an intangible spark.
For a brief moment, he watched as the King seemed to ease forward. A hand now raised, seemingly calling off his knights, who had been almost in motion.
He released the orb directly upwards, momentum carrying it up.
Up.
Up.
Into the blue sky. Practically into the sun.
Error watched it rise above him.
Only.
“Shit.”
His calculations must’ve been off. He must’ve added a layer too many, or maybe he released it a swing too soon. But he could tell that it wouldn’t clear the top of the arena.
Maybe if he had a few more seconds he could’ve used strings to boost it. He could’ve sent a magic gust to lift it further.
Not the case.
He watched as the orb detonated, just like it was supposed to.
The wave moved horizontally through the air, and swept across the air above the arena so quickly that it sucked the sand from the top layer and threw it against the tall walls. Error’s footing slipped, and he stumbled to his knees on the stage as the wind whipped and tugged the heavy curtains into the air current as well.
It was an almost invisible force, Error had to imagine anyone without a solid grasp of magic would entirely miss it as it spread out.
He winced as it finally reached the edges of the arena, where he had just barely managed to fall short of clearing.
As the magic passed over the stone and mortar, he saw as it fell. Not in chunks, but crumbled like dust into fine particles. The upper half of every arch at the top of the grand amphitheatre, turned pitch black, then wasted away.
He hadn’t meant for it to come in contact with anything. It wasn’t supposed to do anything but harmlessly wave over everyone’s heads. As a show of his strength. That was all.
Error could only think back to when this had happened before. When he’d accidentally exploded Geno’s favorite mug while metering the strength of his strings. When he’d broken the wheel of a carriage passing through the woods with a wayward slingshot blast. When he’d broken all ten of the large windows in the lecture hall of the academy when he failed to complete a spell the way it was written. When he’d done it too well.
As he rose to his feet, he half expected the nagging voice of his older brother to be there, chastising him for not being more careful, before taking him home and making him dinner.
It wasn’t that, though.
He watched out across the sand. The king had his head tilted only slightly, looking up at Error’s lofty mistake. At the clean cut where stone now met unbothered air. His knight, the one in all black, was leaned ever so slightly towards him. They must’ve been speaking. Or, at least, the knight was.
About Error, he had no doubt.
He stayed in place, watching, swaying a bit with the residual force of his own spell lingering in his fingertips. Every instinct which told him to run and to hide were smothered and stamped out by the ligering fact that he had nowhere to go. Without his brothers, there was no one to help him. He knew it.
Even in front of this crowd. These mages. This King and his knights. He couldn’t bring himself to move offstage. Some part of him, deep down, childishly wanted the King to announce that he was impressed. To parade him offstage and let him experience what Geno had. Let him know why Geno left.
The King’s single eyelight swam back over to look at Error in the silence.
Error felt like the world had stopped.
It hadn’t.
There was a clattering of armor and rustling of fabric, suddenly loud in his ears, and he had no time to react as everything came rushing in all at once.
Hands. Heavy, gloved hands. Two sets, two hands each wrapped one of his upper arms, and immediately lifted him off the ground. Into the air.
Pain flooded into his bones from his soul, like twin lightning strikes, trying to singe the bone and the magic in its core. The pressure wasn’t much, his mind knew that, but his body usually didn’t listen to him. He tried desperately to hold it in. The rampant part of his magic that had been hurting him since he could remember. That made it hard to touch anyone. To shake hands. To hug his brothers.
“Let go!” He pleaded, though he wasn’t sure if his voice made any sense. Fresh always told him they couldn’t tell what he was saying when his voice got too bad.
More pain. He kicked his legs at the open air, and tried to muster control over his strings, just for a moment, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus.
And all at once it stopped.
Error’s feet were on the ground again, though that promptly became his knees again as he swayed and wavered in the sudden aftermath of his active magic dying down. Receding back into his soul. Because it didn’t need to ‘protect’ him anymore.
He spotted then, as his vision returned to something aside from the gloves or the sky, that the King was no longer in his throne. In fact, there was a heavy, encompassing, magical weight behind him now. Somewhere very, very close-by.
He took a deep breath, grounding himself.
“We are taking a recess.” Announced a booming voice. Very nearby. It was deep, and felt almost the same as the projection spell from two days prior. Then, more quietly, “You will leave the boy to me. Go ensure no one was injured, then manage the crowd. I’ll make my choice tomorrow at sunrise.”
The second bit felt quieter, an edge to the tone that Error didn’t quite like. Considering he must be the boy in question.
It was a moment, a few muddled ‘Yes, my king’ s, before Error found a pair of boots stepping before him. His head swam as he looked upwards.
The King, he figured that had to be him, was dark. Very dark. Like a living, dripping, shadow. Magic seemed to be all he was made of, an aura radiating from him. Dripping off his back into long slimy worms, twitching as they sat near the ground. He wore a fancy cape, too. One with huge gold clasps on his shoulders, one was shaped like the moon.
Error looked to his face last. In hindsight, something that could’ve been very, very bad. He was met with a dripping face. Skeletal. The place where his right socket should’ve sat was covered in that dark substance. The other hollow, with that bright cyan orb staring right back at him.
“Can you stand?” His voice came easily, and Error braced himself.
Could he?
He had to, he didn’t want to be touched again.
Error took another breath, and managed to rise silently to his feet.
“Good,” the King said once he was standing, “Follow me.”
It was an order he didn’t dare refuse.
.
.
.
Error found himself in an odd position.
He’d been given time to sit and recover from his magic’s outlash, and now he was sat in a room beneath the bleachers of the arena alongside the King and that knight he’d met before. The other one was guarding the door, he thought.
It’d been silent for a while, and it was almost expected when the silence was finally broken.
“You said your name is Error, correct?” The King asked, and Error gave a nod of yes. He forced himself to meet the King’s gaze.
“Dust says that you’re only 12, and our people disqualified you in the first round. Is that right?”
Error nodded again.
“And Dust even explained to you why you were disqualified?”
Another nod. It seemed he’d at least made an impression on the knight. Dust.
The King tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, eyelight holding Error’s tightly.
“Then, I’ll ask, what brought you to think this was a good choice? To try and become Royal Mage above any cost it might bring?” The king asked, and Error was surprised to find it was a shockingly gentle tone. “Your home, your family, your life. You are so young, why put it all on the line like this?”
Oh.
It was almost funny. Was this whole thing because the king was some sort of charitycase? So disillusioned by his perfect life that he couldn’t even think of the hardships any random kid could go through? He almost grinned at that, barely keeping his mouth from twitching in a mix of frustration and humor.
“I wanted to prove myself,” He muttered, “And besides, becoming the Royal Mage would be great.”
He waited, waited for the King to inhale, to say something, before,
“I’m an orphan.” He spat, finally. “Family abandoned me, house is left behind, expelled from school. I don’t want to keep wandering.”
It was basically the truth. This was his big break. His one last chance before he became a hated little vagabond. Maybe even a criminal. Maybe he’d have to go on the run for the rest of his life, live as a nomad. Join a caravan. Those people got stopped a lot though, kingdoms didn’t like them. He’d probably explode some city’s bakery by mistake and get put in jail for-
“Wait!” Error suddenly exclaimed, breaking free of his thoughts, “Am I in trouble? Am I going to jail??” He asked then.
His worries slammed to a grinding halt and he stared wide-eyed at the two before him. Geno had always told him not to go making his big stuff near town, because if the guard caught him he wouldn’t be able to bail him out. He’d end up in jail. Of course, it’d never happened back then because he was always fast enough. Always smart enough to get out of dodge when he broke something or made poor decisions. Here? Here he hadn’t run when he had the chance.
The King stared at him, his one eyelight nearly mirroring Error’s in surprise at the question.
“I mean,” he started, “You’re young. If I wont let you work for me, I wouldn’t dare put you in prison either.” The King stated, “Though, you did do quite a bit of damage to the theatre.”
Error watched him break eye contact finally and look over his shoulder to the Knight stood there. He’d been silently watching Error too.
When he had no insight, The king seemed to heave a sigh, and the shadowy extra limbs which draped around him twitched.
“You’re sure you have no family? No home?” the King asked him again, and Error nodded.
The king muttered something under his breath, and shot the Knight another look. The knight shrugged.
“I… Will not employ you. Though, I do see talent in you, Error.” the King said carefully, a bit slower in his words than he had been up until now. Almost… unsure. “I will, however, extend to you the title so that you may conduct…” He waved a hand before himself, as though searching for a word, “ You may conduct independent research. If you accept, of course.”
“You would be free to resend your acceptance at any moment, no strings attached, and may take any work you complete along with you, and any pay you receive would be given to you after your 16th birthday, if you stay that long.” He added, “I’ll have to rewrite the contract, but-”
“I accept!”
Error couldn’t help himself. He was so excited he could puke. The last thing he’d expected was to pull this off. This shitshow of a scheme actually got him the job? He could scream. He could jump up and down for joy. He didn’t, he sat eagerly and tense in his seat instead, but he could’ve.
The King seemed to hesitate, for a few breaths, before relaxing. He stood, and offered a hand out slowly to Error.
Error stood too, grinning. He could manage this one. He could do it.
It was brief, but he grasped the King’s hand and shook it firmly.
“Dust, will you help Error locate his belongings, and escort him to wherever he is staying tonight? I’ll send Cross to swap with you a bit later. We’ll reconvene in the morning just before sunrise.”
#new age au#Gods these guys are so so silly to me#I wanted this to be Error's perspective mostly but also. I love the others dearly#I need y'all to know that Dust and Nightmare 100% talked about Error's situation after Night offered the deal and they agreed it was#probably the best call for Error's sake if nothing else. But like. What poor timing for such a strong orphan to come out of nowhere#and immediately mess up Night's new rule lmao.#Also idk if I lost steam into the 2nd half so I apologize if that's not as tasty but like... I had a lot going on and I knew if I stopped#it would never get finished ever haha-#Let's see what other thoughts i had...#Definitely need to write Error first arriving and feeling the whimsy of meeting Geno and getting to rant to Nightmare about his newest craz#idea and getting his own courtyard to try things out and all that jazz#And also experiencing Ccino panic at the sight of a young child because ??? Night ur better than that what happened??? And subconsciously#pick up on the brotherly energy they have towards eachother.#And to let Error set boundaries about his tower#who can come in and who can't and how to call for him (use strings outside like a door-knocker basically) and just! Watch him adjust and#thrive!!!!#anyways yeah. Dust definitely becomes the one Error speaks to the most often besides Nightmare. And Nightmare is busy so he mainly just#checks in on him to listen to his new ideas and make sure he's still alive#so there's not a whole lot of interaction aside from Night being a positive and encouraging force to Error's magic practice (maybe they#train on occassion too?)#And then. Y'know. Nightmare shrinks and is just a lil goofy nerd and loves listening to Error and thinks he's super duper cool.#(OH! And Error turns 13 like. a few days into his emplyment#so he's 14 when Night becomes 13 again-)#okay good night everyone!!
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i don’t know what i’m doing wrong
am i really that unloveable?
undesirable?
i’ll never be enough, no matter how hard i try
there is just something soul crushing about knowing that you will be alone
like you always have been
#ughhhh#ripping my hair out#I can’t do this anymore#like i will never have a stable group of friends that care#or a relationship#nothing at all#sometimes i think I should just give up#tbh#i know i’m not super pretty but is it that bad that no one will even go near me.#?#why am i repulsive#sorry for being back with the depressing content#i apologize#i am depressed#i am crying#vent#rant#personal#bpd#mental health issues#mental illness#my words#i hate how things will never change#what did i do to deserve this#liesmultixxx talks 🩵
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hey guys sorry if posting my art takes a little while I've been too busy thinking about visual kei fashion and gnawing on my enclosure abt it xoxo 💋💕🫶
rant in tags beware ⚠️🤓
#rant#it's taking too much brainspace I have so many clothes diys I wanna finish/do#and outfit ideas#and art ideas#and art wips#but executive dysfunction is the FUCKING DEVIL OHHHHHGGJJJ MY GODDDD#SAVE ME FROM THE BRAIN DEMONS PLEEEEAAASE😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏💔💔💔💔#so if any of you guys have cared to read this at all + have seen some of my past posts#I wanna give a formal apology for announcing my epic ideas and then seemingly abandoning them 🫡😓💔🫶#i think it might be a curse atp because WHY DOES EVERYTIME I SHOW YOU GUYS SOMETHING IM WORKING ON MY MOTIVATION COMPLETELY DISAPPEARS 😭#I actually feel bad bc I'm just leaving you guys in the dust 😓#I feel like I'm just ping ponging from idea to idea- mini project to mini project- and I end up doing nothing about any of it 😭#does this also happen to you guys??? is my brain melting????#tfw when you physically can't keep working on a project anymore even though your heart yearns for its completion 😍😛✌️#so many funny ideas..... yet so little willpower 💔......#<- someone who's probably gonna post another animation later#this has been floating around in my noggin for a while#but for the meager amount of only 200+ people who have followed me so far (if you ever read this) thank you so much. like genuinely 🫶#I might post a lil something about it lol#I'm also really glad for all of my awesome mutuals!!!! whether or not we've ever interacted❤️#please excuse me 🙏I must now go stare at clothes from vkei and kote kei fashion brands whilst mentally watching paint dry#lest I be sent to shadow realm for daring to try to focus on other tasks 🙏 godspeed soldiers 🫡#ok rant over 😎⚠️
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Ultimately, I think one of the worst things Hopes does wrt its writing of Claude is take out all of the complexities and contradictions that had made him so interesting to begin with.
OG Claude lies and manipulates people and closes himself off while still searching for the truth and wanting people to come together and be open with each other, because of how his traumas meld together with his dreams. He says that he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants and shows off opportunistic tendencies and then buckles at the first sight of innocents getting hurt, because no matter how much he wants what he wants he still prioritizes the lives of the people around him over anything else. He knows of people's capacity to hurt others for petty or illogical reasons - was raised with that knowledge beating its existence into him - and yet still dreams of a world where people of different lands and cultures can still be friends, because that is how tightly he holds onto his dreams. He's a kind person with the capacity for being a dick, and his contradictions add on so much to his character; they in large part are his character.
Hopes Claude? He lies and manipulates people and closes himself off... and that's it. He says he'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants... and he does. He knows of people's capacity to hurt others for petty or illogical reasons... and has no real dreams of stopping it (or dreams of anything in the future really, by his own admission) and he indulges in that very behavior himself, seemingly without any awareness. He is untrustworthy, and manipulative, and opportunist... and that's it. What you see is what you get. And if this were a character unto themselves, if we're kind and we ignore all of the other issues with Hopes!Claude's writing, that would be a fun enough villain to follow around.
But it's not; this is supposed to be Claude. This is a character who has so much of his foundations be built on the idea that what he presents on the surface isn't all that he seems. That he's more than a character who is just "tee hee I'm only pretending to be nice but I'm actually eeeeevil evil evil evil evil evil evil," but someone who both uses kindness as a means to an end and embodies it genuinely. Warm yet calculated, a good man with real flaws - THAT is who Claude is. Hopes Claude is who Claude is if you strip him of any complexity - He Is Only Pretending To Be Good, But Actually He Is Bad.
He's just... easier to swallow, in a sense. Claude is a good person who is willing and able to do bad things, but only up to a very specific, very clear point, all for a good dream he's held onto for years and plans extensively to make a reality in the future; Clyde is a shit person who's willing to do everything short of bombing specifically whatever land he himself is ruling, all for what essentially amounts to no concrete purpose. There's no need to think about Clyde as hard, since he just does what he does because he's doing it and that's enough.
It's why I'm glad I am Dev-Approved to just fuckin' ignore Hopes entirely as a horrific fever dream, because Hopes does not understand what made Claude so lovable at all
#clyde discourse#like alongside ALL of the other issues with Hopes' treatment of Claude this one is just. a huge one for me lol#Underutilized as Claude was in 3H he was still SO interesting to think about! What he showed off was SO refreshing!#because he took the I am Not Who I Seem Tee Hee trope and turned it on its head#his strict moral boundaries and sincerity in his love for his pipe dream contrasted so well with his underhandedness and genuine flaws#he's manipulative! he can be opportunistic! he's secretive and yet he noses around other people's business!#he has qualities that are VERY flawed!#but he never goes too far; he never intentionally puts people in danger; he apologizes and tries to make up for his missteps#ultimately his pros outweigh his cons and he comes out a complex character#MEANWHILE#fuckin' CLAUTHEW over here#he makes so many people MISERABLE with his actions in the war and does not give a shit#he kills or otherwise threatens to kill anyone who gets in the way of him grabbing more power - even innocent people#he just closes his eyes and ears to ANY information given to him that contradicts his viewpoints#and slurps up any that validates his confirmation bias no matter HOW untrustworhy the source is#he is NOTHING. He's interesting in the same way getting hit in the face with a cinderblock sounds fun; IT ISN'T#just wanted to rant a bit about it lol
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my mom: we don’t celebrate Halloween
me: uh, yes we do? We put up decorations and we go trick or treating in costumes?
my mom: no, we do all that stuff because we think it’s fun, but we don’t celebrate the devils birthday
me: …but Halloween doesn’t have anything to do with the devil, you literally told me so. And, doing all that stuff is celebrating Halloween bc that’s all Halloween is.
#i remember when i was like seven and it being the devils birthday came up and my mom was like. that’s a load of horseshit#Halloween has nothing to do with the devil. it’s just a made up holiday that we use as an excuse to have fun#< that’s obviously not verbatim#but it was the gist of the rant she went on#but apparently that’s changed???#she never raised me or my older brother to have that mentality too#i didnt even remember WHY people don’t like Halloween until she brought it up 😭#idk i just know that i might’ve ruined Halloween for my little brother bc i kept insisting we celebrate it#but apparently insisting that we do is me worshipping the devil so#which is insane actually bc she KNOWS I’m atheist. i don’t even believe the devil exists#this spiraled into a. thing. which is annoying#I’ll probably apologize later so my little brother can still go trick or treating#anyways this is just me ranting#please ignore this#i’ll probably delete this later
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*deep breath*
*gently grabs Alzadaal's Legacy, spins it upside down and SHAKES IT VIGOROUSLY*
GIMME MY GLAM CHEST YOU PIECE OF SHI-
*buried in deluge of every piece of gear EXCEPT the Fending chest*
#okami rants#seriously!#I have run this duty SO MANY TIMES#like if this was Dead Ends I'd have like two or three Starbirds#it is BAD y'all#got some folks from the FC to run it tonight#three runs one synced with a rando#then two unsyncs with three FCmates#NOTHING#we saw the Aiming chest TWICE#and casting once!#Varshahn I already apologized for breaking your stuff!#just give me the gear piece I want and I won't have to keep breaking it! >.<#though it WAS satisfying to melt the jellyfish before the twin tentacle dig went off xD
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Girl... I aint reading all that
#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#negative#gif warning#keep crying stalker#refresh my tab and go write another nonsensical rant just like i said u would lmfao#or finally get over it girl cos no one cares#glad i got u hella mad and ranting at nothing... as usual#thats how stupid and easily led you are#good luck with that school u got going on...#ppl pls dont send me anything else from this stalker theres nothing they have to say thats valuable or the slightest bit intelligent#delete later#also dont say ur lowkey sorry to me when ur on my dick 24/7#obsessed and thinking racism only exists for you personally#cos you cant handle anyone disagreeing with you#cos if u really thought i was racist u wouldnt have been liking my cc posts#and dming me apologies for getting me hate up until a few months ago when i blocked u#ur ego got hurt when i blocked u and that is the ONLY reason u rant about me every other business day#same thing with all your weird friends that were nice in my dms and sticking around in my server until a few months ago#now all of a sudden im a vile coon that they never liked to begin with#only AFTER I blocked yall after catching yall talking shit out the other side ur mouth and not to my face#youre cowards plain and simple just trying to act tough and hard and morally right#when in the end you just look fucking goofy#for swearing i was antiblack whilst being buddy buddy with me#what does that make yall then?#birds of a feather and all that right#you just dont know how to not like someone without trying to villainize them and that is cowardice#otherwise you wouldnt ONLY call someone problematic after they blocked or personally offended you
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..
#slight tw for the next few tags…………#my sister emotionally and verbally abused me last night and I don’t use those terms lightly at all#basically I texted my mom ‘yikes’ yesterday after she was being rude to us and she found it and started screaming#and said we all treat her so badly and none of us care about her which cannot be further from the truth#the gaslighting was out of this world#she said we started it?#my mom and I were both crying#she called me all kinds of awful names and kept saying fuck you so I said fuck you back#I have an anxiety around swearing out loud so the car fell silent#then she kept screaming#and I was sobbing and it ruined my makeup#then I had a panic attack#she got out of the car and then we had to go in fucking margaritaville resort to have a dinner w family we don’t see#she thought she was entitled to this outburst.#and I cried silently the whole way home and my pain was so bad on top of it#and now she’s acting like nothing happened. I did not get any apology.#it was HELL#and I just need to rant#I love her but…I did not deserve this#also slightly pissed at my mom bc she told my sister something I said that was supposed to be kept private#and my sister used it against me#sorry I needed to rant ❤️🩹#Abby doesnt shut up
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im never going to get quality healthcare am i
#im just going to keep decaying and get shucked around from specialist to specialist#and they all do the same fucking thing. next to nothing.#they blame it on my anxiety or my weight#they dont give me the time of fucking day. ive had appointments that didnt even last THREE MINTUES#they'll run a test or two and very rarely do a procedure#and when that yields jack shit they dump me saying there's nothing they can do#and they apologize and say they're so sorry and they wish they could do more#I DONT WANT YOUR APOLOGIES I WANT YOU TO FUCKING TREAT ME INSTEAD OF HALF ASSING THIS SHIT#YOU WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL FOR HOW LONG?? YOU CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO DO? BUT IM THE BAD GUY FOR PLAYING DR GOOGLE?#i've SPENT HOURS TRYING TO FIGUREOUT WHATS WRONG WITH ME#YOU HAVENT EVEN SPENT ONE#FUCK YOU holy SHIT#youre just going to leave me to suffer and die. cant wait to live a totally unfulfilling life. never get the chance to live.#i know the life i want and i cant fucking have it. it's nigh impossible#i just want to be happy. but how can i be happy when almost no one takes care of me#julian rants#vent
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