#then I had a panic attack
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#slight tw for the next few tags���………#my sister emotionally and verbally abused me last night and I don’t use those terms lightly at all#basically I texted my mom ‘yikes’ yesterday after she was being rude to us and she found it and started screaming#and said we all treat her so badly and none of us care about her which cannot be further from the truth#the gaslighting was out of this world#she said we started it?#my mom and I were both crying#she called me all kinds of awful names and kept saying fuck you so I said fuck you back#I have an anxiety around swearing out loud so the car fell silent#then she kept screaming#and I was sobbing and it ruined my makeup#then I had a panic attack#she got out of the car and then we had to go in fucking margaritaville resort to have a dinner w family we don’t see#she thought she was entitled to this outburst.#and I cried silently the whole way home and my pain was so bad on top of it#and now she’s acting like nothing happened. I did not get any apology.#it was HELL#and I just need to rant#I love her but…I did not deserve this#also slightly pissed at my mom bc she told my sister something I said that was supposed to be kept private#and my sister used it against me#sorry I needed to rant ❤️🩹#Abby doesnt shut up
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Right here, right now
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 scout#scout tf2#artists on tumblr#my art#panic attack#team fortress#I had a panic attack last night so I had to vent it immediately#I still have no idea how to draw his face oh goddamit#tf2 fanart
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow
Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.
I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.
This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods
And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.
Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?
Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.
Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.
Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it
...this went on longer than intended.
TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.
EDIT: Part 2
#I swear to god if any one of you in the notes calls me terminally online or pretends I'm saying you can just dump bags in the ocean#Yes definitely do your best to live sustainably#But also#You personally are not killing pandas#Unless you are in which case please stop#We put too much money into pandas but let them go in peace#Go do some yoga#Sorry if this is a lot but I have a friend with OCD who has legit panic attacks over stuff like this#Like they have to throw out a ripped plastic grocery bag they've had for six years instead of using it to weave yard furniture or smthn#And they'd go into a spiral about killing the planet#So like#I have strong feelings now
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#shiguang dailiren#時光代理人#link click#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#aashi doodles#im suffering rn and want to suffer with others so here's my contribution#lu guang stayed pretty composed on the plane but would that always the case after he wakes up from his cxs is dead nightmares...#lu guang...😔#this was inspired by that one comment in an jnterview where someone asked why lg's bed rails were so high#and i think it was producer who said it was to keep a certain someone from sneaking into his bed but i was like get real#nothing can stop cxs when he wants to do something. and if he wanted to be up there he would go no matter what#anyways lets imagine this as a scene from s1. back when we all had theories that one or both of the boys were trapped in a time loop#we have this scene where lg is having a panic attack and not even cxs is sure why exactly this is happening but plot moves on we h#yeah plot moves on and we shelve this for later and bam. s3 yep lg stuck in a time loop with cxs always dying trauma is confirmed#anyways thats enough from me for now. ima go throw up byeeee
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The answer was 'panic attack'.
#Sdr2#Super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa 2#Danganronpa#hajime hinata#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Akane owari#Kazuichi Souda#Sonia nevermind#I tood my friend I sometimes had 'anxiety fits' and described it and she was like 'that's a panic attack dude'. Never too old to learn#an art
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A very glazed page 39
Previous - next - first
#my art#fnaf#fnaf au#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#fnaf gregory#evan afton#crying child#michael afton#glamrock freddy#fnaf 4#fnaf comic#into the ballpit au#oh my god this page was so curseddddd yallllllllll#started it when a tornado hit I lost my house for a week#had to quit a toxic job that got worse the last weeks I stayed#had to organize my life better#and finally had to start taking anxiety medication because it was too much#I actually slept without a panic attack last night#I’m so happy… I’m just gonna -melts onto the floor-#it’s fine now#yay
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Some of my favourite quotes that's come out of the dream situation rn:
"That's like being shot and then saying you can reclaim guns" - Jack manifold on dreams reddit post claiming he thought he could use slurs as slurs just cause others have "gone viral" for calling HIM slurs.
"I really don't see how his audience sees him as genuine when the veil is paper thin" - Jack manifold simply being based.
"You changed up! YES. The situation changed!!" - Jack manifold yet again being based on how dream fans act like Jack and Tommy switched up on dream just for clout.
"I think dream has made a lot of money out of keeping his sexuality ambiguous" - Tubbo about the fact Dream on stream said that he is not gay and that being called the f slur doesn't even apply to him. After pandering to a queer audience and deliberately leaning into acting gay. (Obviously, him saying he's not gay doesn't necessarily make him straight, but he does seem to imply that by saying he's NOT like that and then backtracking that Nicholas Cantu wouldn't know either way)
"I do think this is partially because I played the villain on the dsmp" - Dream. The most delusional and insane thing he could have said. No, that's not why you get hate. That was 5 years ago. Are you okay?
#i do actually have a lot i could say about dream and thoughts but I'm enjoying just kinda witnessing and not getting too invested#2021/22 me would probably of had a panic attack by now and i am not going back to that unhealthy attachments and stress thank you very much#dream smp#dsmp#dreamwastaken#tubbo#jack manifold#tommyinnit
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Disabled people shouldn't have to jump through hoops!!
#disability#birblr#bird art#doodles#context here is that I had a really triggering disability assessment this morning#'can you tell me more about what caused your panic attack?'#Not if you don't want me to have a panic attack right now??#Also maybe don't ask an ex-anorexic 'have you lost weight?'#How is that relevant?#If I was fat or had gained weight would that make me more or less disabled in your eyes?? How is this relevant??#Sorry for the rant guys it's been a not-so-great morning#If I didn't know better I would have assumed the assessor was purposefully trying to trigger me
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#I had a panic attack while sleeping before#meme#memes#dank memes#follow for more memes#memeclassheroes
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You know, I feel like we're not talking enough about the fact that Alastor has in his room a full reproduction (?) of a swamp-forest that's highly likely very similar to the one where he was killed. Talk about being morbid.
Edit: someone pointed out in the comments that the swamp-forest is called bayou. It's a kind of ecosystem in Louisiana.
#And he was eating a deer in it#And we know he kind of embraced his deer identity#Idk I feel like there is some symbolic meaning related to his feelings about his death that I'm not fully grasping#Maybe something connected to his obsession with power because by doing this he's stating he isn't affected even by his own death?#Which is an act as shown first of all by the panic attack he had when he did almost die against Adam#And second (if it's still canon) by his fear of dogs#Still I find this interesting#hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#alastor hazbin#hazbin hotel alastor
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Too much fear in familiar blue eyes for his liking :((
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic art#nine the fox#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime season 3 spoilers#I AM NOT OKAY#Bro legit had a fucking panic attack for a second there :((#He didn't know what to DO and that messed me up dude#seeing someone who looks WAY too much like his brother staring up at him with sheer terror HFISNDKWNFJ#FUCK I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS#this season was made for me tho >:)) My specialty is devastated expressions and this baby was FULL OF EM#sonic prime
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TBB cadets ideas
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#star wars fanart#more to come maybe idk#Anyway#idk how fanartists manage to get their chara right I couldn't#hope they're at least recognizable#I'm too tired to clean them anyway#BTW I got my broken tooth fixed#I mean ...more like vital prognosis engaged#Dentist scolded me#deserved#It was really the meme “you live like this??” but with my mouth#anyway at least they'll have a fun story to talk about at party I guess#oh last time I got a PATIENT#WTF#like first she hadn't seen anyone since YEARS#then she went livid when I told her I had to operate#she was probably on the verge of a panic attack I had to reassure her like EVERY five minutes like a child#can you fill my glass again thanks#I mean I've got several friends working in medical I know how it is ^^;#Now my whole jaw aches#and I'm hungry ofc#ANYWAY#if you excuse me#I'm gonna roll myself in a burrito and cry
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Threshold
Post-UD, everybody lives. Established Steddie
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Eddie couldn't do it. He turned, ready to run, but Steve's hand clamped down on his arm like an iron manacle.
"Fuck you, let me go," Eddie hissed.
"Like hell I will," Steve replied, just as harshly. "You have to do this, you're the only one who can."
"I'd rather die."
The sales clerk cleared her throat and Eddie snapped his mouth shut.
"Are you-- can I help you find anything else," she said softly, her hands open in front of her.
"No," Steve replied. "Just this."
'This' was a vacuum cleaner. An upright vacuum cleaner with hose attachment and a retractable cord. A one hundred dollar vacuum cleaner.
Eddie felt sick. He pulled his hand away and Steve let it go awkwardly. Eddie cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, just this." He pulled out his wallet and passed over the money. Signing the warranty card in a messy scrawl.
They walked out of the store and loaded the vacuum into the back of Steve's truck.
Steve and Eddie had gotten to the car in silence but once the doors were closed it started.
"Babe," Steve said, his voice soft but firm. "What was that about? We agreed we need a new vacuum. Wayne's old one gave up the ghost and the carpet sweeper does nothing. I thought this was cool."
Eddie groaned and rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. "It's not-- it's just..."
He couldn't find the words and Steve didn't press him. The interior of the truck's cab was quiet, windows muffling the noise of other shoppers moving through the parking lot, the occasional sound of their radios drifting on the air.
Eddie took a few breaths, heard Steve do the same beside him - in - out - in - out
"Can I check in," Steve says after a few breaths.
"Almost," Eddie replies and they go back to breathing.
This time Eddie breaks the silence. "It's real, right?"
"Real," Steve echoes. "The vacuum? Yeah?"
"It's -- the vacuum we have now? Wayne got it from the Johnsons before they moved to go live with their kids in Des Moines. It was a really good vacuum. Lasted, like. Seven years. The one before that Wayne found in the trash. It needed some fixing up and the hose had to be taped together but it ran for two years."
Steve hums, just a considering noise to show he's listening but leaving Eddie some spacw to talk. Eddie cannot explain how much he appreciates that.
"The stove was a store display they were gonna toss out because the wiring was bad. The couch was abandoned on a curb up in Loch Nora. Most of my clothes come from the Goodwill; Wayne's too, even his work boots. My guitar, my sweetheart, is a hand-me-down to I don't know how many degrees."
Eddie sighs and tips his head back against the headrest. The ceiling of the cab is upholstered in dark blue fabric. Eddie drags his fingers over it.
"Munsons don't get new things, Steve. Not nice ones, anyway." He blew out a rough breath. "I know this is stupid. It's just a vacuum cleaner, but--"
"Don't say that," Steve interrupted. "If I don't get to say stupid neither do you."
Eddie reached over the gear shift and clasped the hand Steve offered.
"Okay," Steve said. "Do you... should we return the vacuum?"
"No," Eddie said. "No, that's not the answer. We-- I have the money. I can afford a new vacuum, a nice one."
"A really nice one."
"And it's okay to buy new things."
"It really is," Steve said.
Eddie nodded. "We're grown ups now, Stevie. Got good jobs, a nice apartment, a fancy new vacuum cleaner. What's next, a picket fence? 2.5 kids and a dog?"
Steve smiled and pulled Eddie's hand up to his face, pressed a kiss against his knuckles before letting go and reaching for the ignition. "I'm allergic to dogs but let's get home and we can start working on kids."
Eddie reached out for Steve, pulling him across the armrest into a fierce kiss.
Steve fell back into his seat, a bright flush in his cheeks. "Wow," Steve said, starting the car. "What are you gonna do when we buy a house?"
The radio came to life but Eddie could barely hear it over his own laughter.
#fanfiction#fanfic#littlechivalry#my writing#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#stranger things#being poor is hard#that first big purchase is incredibly scary#i grew up on hand me downs and coupon clipping#i almost had a panic attack buying my first laptop#it was a thousand dollars - that was insane money#also i have no idea what vacuums cost in the late 80s
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I absolutly LOVE Mr Keating, but if he did that impromtu poem scene to me I would never ever forgive him, no matter how good a teacher he might be, I definitely would've start crying on the spot.
#Todd is stronger than I am#prolly would've had a panic attack#like who does that to an anxious teenager??#especially when he's the new kid#dead poets society#dps#todd anderson#john keating#mr keating
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"The key thing was of course, the fact that Rick has PTSD and that's very much what's driving a lot of his behavior and being in a place of that level of vulnerability, back with the love of his life in that way.
It's also the thing he fears, the loss of her. It manifests itself in a way that is visceral and leads to the lovemaking not just being about love, but the revealing of pain and trauma and fear. That informs Michonne, that she can't just blast him into making sense. There's something deeper going on here that he can't verbalize. She has to help him get through in a different way. So she gets to see him, as well, as he reveals what's really in there, the wound. That's going to happen most likely in that most vulnerable space." — Danai Gurira
"Yeah, I think it is about pain. As Danai just said, it's about him wanting her and then fearing what he's about to unlock again. He gets to sort of articulate it in the scene further in the episode, when he gets to say that, 'I can't do this again. I haven't got the capacity to do this again. I've worked out how to die and live again.' So it is an absolutely necessary scene that allows Michonne to realize that there's something really broken here, more broken than she's ever anticipated. [...]
So the scene was about a real intimacy, a sort of frightening intimacy. This is a part of his personality he has shut down. It's almost like he's trying to stop himself from feeling this love again. She sees that and she just says, 'Just trust. We're back. We're the same...' I find it very moving. I think it's a very, very moving scene, because it's about them connecting in a way that he's had to deny for seven years. He's denied that connection for the sake of living on in this half life for the CRM" — Andrew Lincoln
Andrew Lincoln and Danai Gurira Discuss Episode 4 of The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live
#the walking dead#twd: the ones who live#the ones who live#twdedit#towledit#richonneedit#richonne#rick grimes#michonne grimes#danai gurira#andrew lincoln#mine and only mine#long post#loveddddd getting their insights on this scene and this moment#danai adding the panic attack was such a gorgeous smart and truthful detail#i think it was in other interviews but i loved how she said that the purpose of this scene was transformative in nature#it was meant to show that a switch had flipped#it basically peeled back another layer of rick's walls during this moment of vulnerability#and allowed for something to click into place for michonne to realize that there's something deeper going on#something that he's not able to say out loud and articulate#like WOWWWWW#nah fr we gotta get danai to write more episodes#bc this is sickening
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